#this is like my ultimate 90s edit so far

[blackfairy312]

Songs of Disarray Cast so far (need to finish James' reference along with Harry and Mike (Mary's dad and brother)

askbox is closed right now because there are like 16 asks in there and i don't want to overwhelm myself so i'll slowly answer everything in my own time!!! mental health had been AWFUL. after my ex broke up with me i was stuck in a terrible bpd episode for weeks, and ultimately decided to cut myself out of his life for the sake of my own mental health. it's already a bad time of year for my PTSD (i had very intense flashbacks for a little while before i got my ned medication), and dawg don't even get me started on election day. america is fucking awful and i'm angry that people want to take away the rights of women and minorities. being a transgender mexican/black male in texas sucks ass. but i don't want to talk about it any more than i already have.

my motivation to do things has been very low, i think what the plan for Songs of Disarray is gonna be that i'll finish the character refs, maybe edit them, and work on the chapters last. i want the story to be GOOD and as a perfectionist i'm gonna be reworking stuff and constantly thinking of what exactly i want to do in this story (or how i want to write it). maybe in the far future i'll try to find a few artists to help me turn it i to a webcomic? i don't know cause i'm like mentally disabled and am having a VERY hard time getting a job, so if i were to hire an artist i don't know if i'd be able to pay them. i get like 40$ for weekly allowance and am not good at saving money.

anyway i also beat silent hill 3 for the first time (i played it once a long time ago and went back to play silent hill 2 to get all the endings, then my computer broke and i couldn't play either for a while). GREAT GAME!!!!! might replay it a few more times before moving into silent hill 4, which i am VERY excited to get to cause i am FASCINATED by the lore in that one. walter sullivan seems like an interesting character and i want to digest any and all lore about the order. after 4 i'll find a way to play 1, idk cause my laptop has 57gb of storage and i cant even download two games for my emulator 😭 i have to download one at a time and i have NO IDEA what is taking up 90% of my storage?????? its so annoying and i might have to get a new laptop if i want to continue playing emulated games but i like my current laptop, it works very well despite that (all the five nights at candy's games run perfectly on it, except fnac 1 remaster sometimes will have lag/framedrops if i'm clicking on the cams too fast, which happened a lot when i played null night but it didn't happen enough for the game to be unplayable. and i ended up beating null night anyway)

so uh yeah

[not-poignant]

!!!

palmarosa and 5, 6, 11 & 12 for the fic ask thingy pls! (If that’s too many questions for one ask then just. Any of those. Ty!)

Re: Palmarosa - okay let's gooooo

5: What part was hardest to write?

So far, the sex scenes (although see below for some of my issues re: behind the scenes researching). They honestly are often the hardest parts to write. But also, Astarion is rather more sex averse than I initially imagined him being, but as I've been writing the more 'concrete' fic, I'm finding he is very sex averse and has a lot of reasons to be, and as a result it's slowed Raphael down. It's not bad, but I already struggle with sex scenes in general just because I want to craft something decent.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Mmm. Astarion's a vampire and I actually (can't believe I'm admitting this) don't really love writing vampires! Writing creatures who drink blood to live I think is a tentative first for me, lol. Otherwise there's more similarities than differences. Like, the fandom and characters/pairing are different, but a lot of the themes are the same.

I'd say this is the first world I've written in re: fandom that has this much lore to go through, and almost all of it contradictory in some fashion. So I'm having to do more research kind of like through three separate fandoms to find what I want, or to realise I have to invent something new. That side of things is challenging.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

The crunchy dynamic between a not particularly pure-of-heart vampire spawn and a definitely not pure-of-heart devil. I really enjoy their banter. They're both very theatrical and performative. They both like a good show. They both think elements of violence are fun. They're both not particularly concerned with being good people every second of every day.

I get to have Astarion say some really fun lines, and that gets to be relatively in character. I get to have Raphael say some truly unhinged purple prose bullshit, and that's also pretty in character for him! I think I also really enjoy matching the voices as much as possible. I sometimes feel like I can 'hear' them saying their lines, and that feels really good.

12: What do you like least about this fic?

Probably the lack of easy ways to research the dialogue and world etc. I was very spoiled by like... the Dragon Age: Inquisition wiki, and even the Stardew Valley wiki. They have most of the dialogue and written parts there. The BG3 Wiki is kind of terrible for almost everything I need to know and I'm surprised when it can actually help me. It's also not immediately easy to add to, which I've thought of doing in the past (I have a Wiki account, and I have edited/added to them before - but Fextralife is different). And then also, a lot of it is contradictory.

The game writes pretty significant character growth in many different directions which means you can canonically write Astarion as two completely different characters in terms of morality and it still be...canon compliant. And then on top of that, there's just typos and issues - Korilla is 'Korrilla' in almost all the correspondence and texts, and 'Korilla' in the dialogue. So which is it? Do I just get to choose for fun? (I do).

As a result I've read hundreds of raw datamined dialogue files, and that's just laborious, because 90% of that is irrelevant to what I'm doing. In general, there's not a ton to hook into for Raphael, and some of his best lines are actually written down or transcribed.

I don't think anyone will ever truly know how much behind the scenes research I've done for what is ultimately a very Id/ridiculous fic, but I've done a metric fuckton of it. And when people then go 'oh but actually Gale is an X and you got that wrong' I want to claw my own eyes out, because I've spent at least 50 solid hours researching and compiling a fairly information dense Obsidian Vault for worldbuilding, and when I get basic things wrong it makes me want to cry and then immediately quit, lmao.

(In case anyone wants to see what that looks like so far:

--

From this fanfic meme!

[secondhandnesting]

OMEGA HALSIN. Thoughts please

oo okay okay. Preface that I am barely into the game. 23ish hours and I could start Act 2 I think, but I haven't finished everything in Act 1 yet (edit: this has been in my drafts so long that i am now further into the game, almost 90 hours across a couple different playthroughs. I still don't know him as well as I would like) That being said, I don't know much about the characters other than the little I've seen in the game, some of the fanon stuff, and some wiki readings. I've also not fully figured out my general 'verse yet, so it's a little wobbly lol. I'm also trying not to get too into everything, becuase I do want to make an individual post about the dynamics.

For starters, he seems very family-oriented. From everything I've seen, he seems to want a family (even if it's in a non-traditional sense). I usually associate family stuff like that with Alphas and Omegas. Not that Betas can't want a family/be family-oriented, but I think it's usually more associated with the other two. (I will try to make a post on this on it's own at some point)

Okay, so as mentioned in this post ;), Halsin is playful. I see this as more of an Omega trait than anything else. Omegas can/will often act as a sort of court jester/comedic relief sort of role within their pack. They want everyone to get along (or be able to stand each other as well as they can) and be happy. It isn't that Alphas and Betas can't be playful and silly, but the behavior is seen far more in Omegas. One of their ultimate desires in their life is to have connection and a sense of belonging, and self-preservation (bit of a misnomer, as this sp can extend to important things like packmates, nests, etc). Omegas can act as the court jester. Mentioned here, "He must suffer terrible abuse at the hands of the king and court, but he is undeniably loved. Like a jester, the omega is often the one to instigate play and act the fool." Now, I don't necessarily agree with the abuse and mistreatment, but the rest is true. (I go a bit more into the "self-preservation" in this post).

It's also a case of me not really seeing him as the other types? I would say (again I have limited knowledge) that the position of power he has as the archdruid is very much... a performance? As he says (at some point and in better words), he took the job because it needed to be done, and people who seek such a position of power are generally people you should keep an eye on. I can see some Beta in him, but I feel like all the Alpha that's present is simply because it needs to be; he had to step up to the plate, so to speak, and part of that involves Alpha-like duties. In the post I linked most recently (my own post), I mention how I see Omegas as the ones most likely to sort of change roles as needed. I see a lot of people put that on Betas, but I think that generally comes from a "beta is the default/other option" view. Which is fine if that's what people want for their own verses, but I want my betas to be just as much beta as the alphas are alpha and the omegas are omega. Since Omegas (in my eyes) are generally more about "preserving the peace" or, more selfishly, ensuring they have a place to belong, I see them as more likely to do what they deem necessary to keep things together.

[saviolum-sanguineus]

Colour Theory & Romance in Butterfly Court

I was re-reading before the newest episode of the show dropped, and I realised that there's a whole wealth of shipping material that's gone (as far as I can tell) untouched. So naturally, I had to channel my inner Rory and get to exploring - so grab your kittens, your art supplies of choice, and get ready to have your mind BLOWN below the cut.

See that? No, it's not the colour of the sky, but it is the key to a lot of interesting nuance in Butterflyverse ships. All those gorgeous descriptions of clothing, magic, and physical appearance put a lot of emphasis on colour, specifically what colour each character is associated with.

What does this have to do with ships, you ask? Let's get into it, using some of the most popular ones as examples. DISCLAIMER: these are the most popular BC ships as of april 2023, based on how many fics are on ao3 tagged for each ship (book/show/movie all included).

MatRory

Mat: green-red are at a 90 degree angle to each other, so he’s got an element of opposition within himself as well as stability. His whole arc is based on internal conflict (remember his kitchen thoughts right before Andrey got stabbed?) thanks to the external conflict that he’s involved in. When he meets Aurora, she becomes a focal point - and her main colour association is white, which is centred in the colour wheel. Rory and Mat challenge each other’s views and ultimately stabilise each other to work towards a common goal - and IT SHOWS. Literally. Even if we take out Mat’s red association, MatRory stays stable based on the monochromatic scheme; they’re constantly working along the same parallel. Monochrome schemes evoke senses of calm and peace, which makes sense for one of the only canon couples that hasn’t gone through a ton of angst because of being together.

Moving onto something a little more controversial: Esme/Enoch, aka E-squared. A lot to unpack here. Let’s start with Esme: she’s almost comically consistent with wearing red all the time as “her” colour, her hair is red, she’s careful to only perform fire magic in public (or at least look like it), and the amount of time she spends covered in blood is non-negligible. The book also spends a good amount of time describing her eyes: one of the first things we learn about her in the books is that “her eyes are the colour of greed” and there’s a mention of her eyes matching a gold body chain she wears at Razac’s party. Her magic is "fierce gold light". So Esme is strongly red/gold associated. A stretched-out analogous combo, if you will. She’s independent on her own spectrum of warm colours; Esme supports herself throughout the books and it’s only when she gets involved with things outside that spectrum of power that stuff gets Complicated.

Enoch’s eyes are also given a lot of screentime; they’re consistently described as very pale, icy blue, and his magic manifests as “pale aqua” or “cyan” light. If we include Ward colours or his preferred “benthic blue” ink for letters, it’s impossible to miss the association between Enoch and blue. Let’s compare their magic (the focus of their first meeting, when Esme comments on Enoch’s magic after he heals her): gold is essentially yellow, maybe with a touch of orange, and blue is directly across from that on the colour wheel. Esme and Enoch are complementary; constantly opposed despite their attraction and ability to make the other person more vibrant. Some might say opposites attract…or that their differences are irreconcilable and at the heart of why they’ll never be completely happy together. However you look at it, there’s a lot of tension there.

For another spin on the blue/gold complementary angle, let’s take a look at Lunesme. Luna’s hair is naturally “blue”; on the cover art and special edition illustrations, it looks either sky blue or slightly cyan depending on which printing you’re looking at. Regardless, Luna and blue are very, very strongly linked. So we’ve got the same complementary colour relationship - but Esme’s interactions with Luna are completely different from with Enoch.

Although they both share intimate moments, Esme does a lot more “hesitating” and “considering” around Luna, and in the church scene we can see that she’s taking space to be more active and engage with/for Luna, whereas with Enoch (the assassin scene, ice skating, Razac’s party), Esme is more reactive. She’s not on a back foot, necessarily, but there’s definitely a different dynamic (and this could be intentional. Esme does flaunt her relationship with Enoch at the beginning, when she’s still sure of herself within that warm hue spectrum, but the whole thing at her apartment after the Seraphine gala throws her off).

The complementary tension in Lunesme draws them together, but the reasons they support each other so well are the same as why they keep having this will-they-won’t-they energy. Esme’s fear of hurting Luna pushes her away - and it’s why she takes the protective initiative in the church. With Esme’s red/gold and Luna’s blue, we’re looking at a triad - arguably the same as E-squared, but with what we know about Luna and how she and Esme have shared a surprising amount of secrets with each other (the scene where Esme let her pet her ears lives in my head RENT-FREE, and I live in London :P), their stability is challenged by the secrecy of their relationship. They usually only meet in shadowy scenes (remember the lighting in the church scene and all the times shadows are mentioned? Seraphine gala escape in evening…Esme only turns the lights fully on after Enoch arrives). The vibrancy of Lunesme is dulled by their fears of being exposed or bringing harm to one another, since they’re only totally honest in whispers or in letters.

Next example: Imperial Triad. We’ve established that Enoch is blue; Nicholas is pretty obviously green (the eyes, the magic, the Remington colours) and Andrey is most often seen in variations of grey (usually “pearl” and “dove”, with Taran’s hair overlapping a little on “dove” and exclusively taking “ash”). Just looking at hue, green and blue are analogous and grey (a tone) mutes them - this isn’t a bad thing, don’t worry! It’s a bit ironic because Andrey’s antics create more chaos than not, but in the context of his relationship with Nicholas and Enoch, the colour shows how he stabilises them (because let’s be honest, they’re both Unhinged and varying levels of good at hiding it). Their higher saturations are evened out by Andrey keeping them occupied, and overall their hues are harmonious together.

I don’t think we can necessarily try to predict any endgames just through this theory, but it’s pretty obvious that there was a lot of thought put into the symbolism of each character’s colour association and how they play into the relationships between them. It’s already been stressed that wearing certain colours in court is a way of showing or requesting favour, so even in-universe, we might see some mention of something similar! My personal guess is that it’d be focused on magic colours, but we’ll have to see.

[patheticbatman]

Anyway because I’m insane I started collecting these little princess dolls (cheap and don’t take up a lot of space) and decided that the honorary princesses needed dolls too, so… I’m painting them. I’m not a great painter but I’m enjoying myself. Here’s a current picture of all the dolls I have at college. Some of the minis I bought and found out were from slightly different lines, but oh well.

At home I have a NYC Barbie in a relationship with a Malibu Barbie (neither have hair ofc they’re old) and a Wonder Woman dating my Captain America. Malibu Barbie and CA had the Kit (mini American girl doll in the Barbie dress way in the back) but then divorced peacefully. But they don’t need painting so they stayed back there.

Kit came because she’s the princesses’ friend. I also acquired a Halle Ariel* and a Raya (Hariel needed an adult friend and Raya was on sale) while here but that’s it!!! No more. Raya is way in the back and Hariel is sitting in front of her because her legs are easier to move.

*Halle Bailey’s Ariel is Hariel, and Jodi Benson’s is Jariel

Mostly rambles and a couple more pics in greater detail under the cut. I did some work on them a while back and I feel like showing off now lol

So! Some of these are modded heavily, and a couple weren’t super visible in the picture above, and I just now decided to switch the bodies on two of them. Oh well! I just wish I still had the before pictures (phone broke and memory wasn’t saved sadly).

I tried to match up hair textures and lengths when possible (had to fudge it a bit with Mirabel, because the closest other doll that kind of matched was a Merida, and I had to order her separately, while the other dolls were quite cheap), but the bodies, I couldn’t do as much. I just tried to match the form of the dress as much as possible. Off the shoulder dresses with off the shoulder dresses, etc. Some of them, I’m just going to paint ‘empty space’ over the body do the dress to match the silhouette or features more correctly.

Now to describe the princesses!

1. First off we have Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron. She has a young Blue dress Elsa body & head (Belsa). I melted the braid and added some hot glue, and Eilonwy had a headband anyway. Her head is done, I didn’t have to do much anyway because Eilonwy is similar to Elsa in terms of eye and hair and skin shades.

2. Second we have Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I tried editing her hair for a different girl but ultimately decided against it. Her head is pretty much done, just need to do body and jewelry now. She has an Ariel head and body. She’s my favorite 90s unofficial princess by far. I added her headband ‘tail’ via hot glue. I may have to paint it more.

3. Third is Isabela from Encanto. I tried giving her nose an arch with hot glue, with playing results. I might change it later, but not today! Otherwise, her head is done. She has a Rapunzel body and a loose-haired white outfit Elsa head (Welsa). Originally, that head was going to be used for Raya, and then I stumbled upon a Raya doll!

4. Fourth is Hariel from the new The Little Mermaid, whose hair I had the most fun painting. I did a bunch of layers of different reds, with a layer or two of pink and orange. I gave her a blue flower, and I think I may need to give her headband another coat, but she’s pretty much ready for body work! She’s Moana head & body.

5. Fifth is Vanellope from Wreck It Ralph. She has a Blue dress Anna head (Banna) whose braids I cut off and replaced with a ponytail created by hot glue (it’s bad but not that bad). She’s not a particular favorite, but she did meet a bunch of the princesses, which I love thinking about, and she’s a princess. So yeah. She’s one of the dolls whose bodies will be switched. Right now her head is done and she’s pictured with a Kristoff body, but I’m going to switch that with Namaari’s current body, that of Anna’s purple overcoat-dress (Panna), because I think having actual pants would be more important on the Namaari doll than the Vanellope doll. And I originally had it like that anyway. I’ll have to wash off some of the paint. I cut off the shoulder and mitten ruffles, and thankfully that’ll fit in with Namaari well.

6. I didn’t plan it this way but the sixth doll is Namaari from Raya and the Last Dragon. Her head was…. A ton of work. So because I knew she had short hair and no other princess head was going to match with that, I bought a kristoff doll for her body and head. I tried melting the hair all to one side to give her that fringe, but it didn’t super work. So I recreated it with hot glue! I shaved off some of the eye bulge - all the Kristoff head have an eye bulge that isn’t flattering. I also cut down on the cheeks a little, because Namaari doesn’t really have that face shape: she is currently pictured with a Panna body (see above) but she will have a Kristoff body (now I need to paint the skin lol.) And I need to paint her jewelry.

7. Number 7 is Dolores from Encanto. She also has an old Kristoff head, because the ears were way more pronounced, which fit with her power. I burned her head smooth and also cut down on the cheeks and eyes some. Her hair bun is stolen from the Tiana doll, because Tiana is a one bun girl but they gave her two! So I cut both off, reaffixed one to the middle of her head and gave the other to Dolores. I added her bow via hot glue bulges, and her body is Belle: I just have to paint the dress now!

8. Eighth up is Asha, from Wish! I haven’t seen ANY dolls out for her yet, only costumes, so I think in a way, I kind of have her first doll! She has a Moana head, and her freckles came out a little wonky but ultimately cute. Again, I didn’t feel like cutting off the flower that comes with the Moana head, so I painted it a different color - it’s yellow, so that I have all three primary colors for the flowers and because it should contrast nicely with her dress with I paint it. She has a Welsa body, as the silhouette isn’t too different from what’s been shown so far in trailers.

9. Ninth is Mirabel from Encanto! Considering I don’t know what I’m doing, I think her glasses came out decently! She has a Belle body and head. I’m still considering cutting off the middle of her hair and reattaching the ends close to her head, so that it’s short and more curly looking. We’ll see. After that, it would just be the dress - which has a more scooped neck thing going on, similar to her actual dress.

10. Now Tenth is Luisa from Encanto! She has a Cinderella head and body (for the ponytail and shoulder poofs, respectively) and I gave her muscles by connecting her shoulder puffs to her arms and making biceps via hot glue. She just needs her hair tie and dress done.

11. Eleventh is Sisu from Raya and the Last Dragon. Her hair took forever to turn white, despite starting out blonde, but it was fun when I added the blue and purple streaks. She has a Rapunzel head (bangs and length worked out nice) and a kristoff body - her pants are important. Thank god I’m done with her head. I cut off the mitten ruffles on the arms.

12. Twelfth is Kida from Atlantis. I’m the closest to being done with her! She has an Aurora head (basically a last head left that had the right length hair sort of thing) and a Moana body. I added her middle sash thing via hot glue, and I just have to finish adding color to that and detail to her skirt and her jewelry, and she’ll be done! I had a ton of fun with her - I even gave her a different color mascara, dark blue, because the closeups of her face in the movie have her eyelashes as dark blue. I think she’s turning out super well.

13. Thirteenth (<3) is Sofia from Sofia the First. I’m not super attached to her, but I do think she counts. I forgot her lips whoops. But after that it’s just her dress and I’m good! She has a Belle head (no hair painting thank god) and a Cinderella body (it was the last ball gown left sort of thing).

14. Fourteenth Is Gabriella, the Deaf mermaid based on a fan from the Jariel Little Mermaid series. Idk why, but when I was little, my cousins and I often watched this dvd of a select few episodes from the various 90s tv shows for the Disney princesses, and my favorite was the one with Gabriella and the wishing star. I’ve only seen a few other episodes since, but I think I can confidently say it’s still my favorite. This one I’ve been especially excited to work on. She has a Snow White* head and body (I cut off SW’s high collar) and I’m going to design her (it’s probably going to be simple but still) a dress based on her mermaid tail. I did a lot of color layering for her hair, partly because it started with a black base which is iffy to paint over, and I love it! It’s brown with a lot of crimson. Anyway, I consider her an honorary princess because she’s Ariel’s friend and I love her. And I think she’s turning out great! Head is done, just need to do body now.

*I briefly considered this head for Mirabel, but decided it fit Gabriella better, and I’m satisfied.

15. Fifteenth is Giselle. Her character was supposed to become a Disney princess, but Disney tried to stiff the actress and then backed out of that end of the branding to punish her. That plus me liking the movie means I’m including her. She has a Panna head an Aurora body (because I’m doing her initial Pink dress with the low shoulders, which I love.) I forgot she had flowers and stuff in her hair until just now, so I’ll add those and finish up there dress later.

16. Sixteenth and last of the edited princesses is Melody from the Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea. She’s Jariel’s daughter, and totally counts as a Disney Princess imho, because she’s the only canon child of an official one, she’s from one of the few good Disney sequels, and I love her. She gets a Cinderella head, because of the ponytail, and a Banna body, because I ran out of kristoff bodies and this dress is big enough I could paint her pants onto it. She should just need her body done now.

NOW! To show them off in order from the original picture. (I put oldest movie ones in the back, newest in the front. I also tried to arrange the ones I’m working on like this, so it goes from Eilonwy to Asha in terms of the dolls lying down. If there are multiple characters from the same movie, it goes in order of appearance)(the animals are scattered about and are not put in order). Now please, go left to right.

In the very very very light pink circle, we have Adult (Big) Raya, Kit, a fallen over Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Jariel, Belle.

In the orange circle: Adult (Big) Hariel, Eilonwy, Gabriella, Esmeralda, Melody, Olaf

In the yellow circle: Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel

In the green circle: Kida and Giselle

In the blue circle: Merida, Amber*, Kristoff , Elsa, Anna, Sven, Elena**, Moana***, Raya

In the purple circle: Vanellope, Sofia, Namaari, Sisu, Mirabel

In the last picture, because they didn’t all fit on that shelf: Dolores, Isabela, Luisa, Hariel (little) & Asha

*she came with a couple others dolls, she’s Sofia’s stepsister from Sofia the First. I figured I might as well keep her, and she has a wide base, which is nice for standing up.

**Elena is kind of from a spin-off of Sofia the first called Elena of Avalor, and the doll doesn’t do her very good justice, but she’s basically a princess and she at least had a doll from the same line as the others.

***I found this Moana with white paint freckles, likely as a misprint situation, at the store. And I love that she’s a rare Moana in because of her unusual appearance so I’m keeping her like that :)

[patrickpatrovichluxury]

WE WINNER

My TEAM won the Italian selections for the Land Rover G4 Challenge both as a team and as an individual.

Thanks to my first and unique rafting company where I’ve worked as rafting and hydrospeed guide on Class IV/V river I collaborated from outside in big events.I was also participiant and member of the Staff of the G4 Land Rover Challenge (ex Camel Trophy) and for the Jeep CAMP/Chrysler.In G4 my team,wins the Italian selection of the G4 Land Rover Challenge where one of ours has been the only one among all the participants who will go to England for the world selections.I was in the first edition of the Italian selections of G4 Land Rover Challenge (Ex Camel Trophy),before the selections for the world edition,in Tuscany where I had to do the safety kayaker and then ask me to be a participant with a pleasant result.In the second edition,also in Tuscany,in a private estate of thousands of hectares as in the first edition,I did the safety kayaker as well as in the Chrysler "Jeep Camp" in Croatia (for the European meeting).I did also a photoshooting with 2 kind of cameras using color and B/W.

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After a serious motorcycle accident run over by a sober Italian,I was also a case of Italian medical malpractice with wrong operations and treatments in an Italian hospital,but as soon as possible I got back on the bike.Then I followed rafting and hydrospeed courses,taking exams and earning licenses and I became an extreme athlete with rafting and hydrospeed,improving my kayak skills,following dozens of experts worldwide in watersports for my rafting company that now operates in 90 nations worldwide.Doing then,a rafting guide,a rafting instructor,the trip leader,the hydrospeed guide and an hydrospeed instructor for commercial trips and journeys.

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[2bstudioblog]

When Music Gets Stolen

They say good composers borrow, but great composers steal. Yet, the real theft occurs when a music producer steals someone else's work and claims it as their own. Here’s my story.

The Vault

Imagine a vault, not just a physical one, but a psychological stronghold meant to protect the music I created under a previous employer. In my mind, that work was lost when the company dissolved. I knew, ethically, that if I ever wanted to revisit that music, I’d have to start from scratch—new arrangements, new sounds, the whole nine yards.

But then there are the "splicers." These folks can’t create from thin air. They don’t even touch a Musical Instrument Digital Interface (MIDI). Instead, they cobble together sounds from platforms like Splice and pass it off as music. This particular splicer stole files from our “off limits” vault—with all of my performances, edits, and all. He had no right to access them.

The Implications

Recently, I discovered that an album with this stolen work was released on iTunes under my ex co-producer's name. Listening to it was like hearing a reflection of myself—90% of the music was mine. His only contribution? Downloading samples and having me edit them. I recognized every song, every 808-bass line. His effort boiled down to typing things into a search prompt.

Anger and Realization

Initially, I thought the stolen tracks were recent projects. However, as I listened further, I realized they were older songs, created while I was on salary under different management. That’s when it hit me: this man has no shame. His partner left him because stealing is wrong, and now I understood why. My first thought was, "Where's my name? Where's my credit?" But then, I realized something crucial—if my name were attached, I’d be a co-conspirator in this mess.

So, I made the ultimate move: I refused to engage. He played a terrible game of chess, and now he’s facing the consequences. I distanced myself, and I’m better for it.

The Future

From here on out, I’m making myself unavailable to him. I’m not a ghostwriter, and my work isn’t here to build someone else's reputation. He even recorded one of my songs in L.A. without my knowledge, pretending he did it all by himself. That was the final straw. My time and talent are too valuable to be exploited. He might try to use his connections as leverage, but I’m not biting. If I were in the same room in L.A., everyone would see through his façade. They’d realize they had the wrong guy in the studio.

The Natural Problem

Let’s think three-dimensional chess. His buddies in the States will listen to this album, be blown away, and ask him for favors to produce more AAA-artists. Since he’s in Japan, they’ll think he’s got some magic touch. And he’ll ask me to do the work—probably for a rate far below what it’s worth. If it’s a high-ranking artist, I’ll charge more. It’s that simple. I’m done being kicked around like an empty can down the street. I’m going to be the hardest thing his foot hits, stopping him in his tracks. This has gone too far already.

And if I say I can’t do it because of time constraints? Well, that’s on him and his poor time-management skills. Wasting my time and bandwidth, all while calling himself a music producer? Give me a break.

Copium

How do I cope with this? It’s a fun word, but the reality is, he’ll dangle the chance to work with top directors in L.A., like F. Gary Gray, as a carrot. But I know better. I had the chance to score a Super Bowl commercial Directed by F. Gary Gray, starring LeBron James, and the director loved the music—though I’m sure he wasn’t told I wrote it. I was kept in the shadows while the "hack" and his partner took credit.

If F. Gary Gray ever reads this, he should know the truth. The Super Bowl commercial went with a Chicago Bulls chant in the end, but the original score was mine. I still have the alpha footage, pre-CGI. It’s weird, but it’s fun. F. Gary Gray, if you’re out there, let’s talk.

Wrapping Up

On a positive note, Karma will have its day. I’ve been writing music for 35 years, and I’m not about to ghostwrite for anyone. I want to be a collaborative asset and earn my right to work with others. Unfortunately, some people only see dollar signs when they look at my talent. They don’t want me in control; they want me second-guessing myself. But here’s the thing—music theory is king, and I know it.

Finding out about this theft today has been eye-opening. I’m glad my name isn’t attached to this illegal project. Eventually, someone with a moral compass will speak up to the third party, and the real criminal will be revealed. It’s been an insightful day, even if it came during a typhoon. It gave me time to reflect.

Goodnight, everyone.

[bandomfandombeyond]

just watched Love Lies Bleeding, the newest A24 film, I have so many thoughts,,,,,

the movie's language is very well developed, and the editing is primo. sound design was also spectacular. A+ production overall.

In a more official review, David Rooney of The Hollywood Reporter called it, "a lesbian neo-noir drenched in brooding nightscapes, violent crime, and more hardcore KStew cool than has ever been packaged in such a potent concentrate."

genuinely, I'd say it's Thelma & Louise meets The Sopranos, a true film, not just a movie. a film we didn't know we had been waiting for.

spoilers ahead!!

if you decide you might want to watch it based on this review, I'd say avoid or be mindful if you get squicked and/or triggered by excellently wrought gay sex scenes, off screen and after match depictions of domestic violence, on screen domestic violence, mouth gore (no really, MOUTH. GORE.), vomit, guns and gun violence, or a homophobe punching a bisexual after she punched him for putting his hands on her. There are also a few depictions of altered states of consciousness and reality, one displayed as active hallucinations which narratively imply that anabolic steroids (essentially testosterone shots) create violent people who don't think about the consequences of their actions and black-out rage to kill others, while ALSO implying that hallucinations and delusions lead people to violence,,, ,,, ,,, And the other is just... subtle enough for most of the film until. surprise! giantess unbirth fetish bait at the end!

if that still sounds like it might be intriguing to you, keep reading :p

this movie has Kristen Stewart doing her sad twitchy sewer rat queer vibe to great effect, breakout star Katy M. O'Brian playing a bodybuilding nomad whose individual character arc is somehow giving gender and hate crime depending on the lens applied, butch 4 futch (argue w/ ur mama, Jackie is a bisexual futch) and butch 4 femme (although 4 is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this one-way dynamic) and (not so) incidental mob intrigue

and as far as aesthetics: it's set at the tail end of the 80s, so we have a delightful mesh of Kristen Stewart's oily 90s twinkdyke and Katy O'Brian's oiled-up 80s femme bodybuilder. howevrrr,,,

I'm not sure how to feel positively about the bait and switch of there being two clearly defined villains (the murderous mob boss father and the sister's abusive husband) having a diversion into the land of "this pillow princess femme who wants romance and a connection with the only other queer person in town is suddenly also a villain". I can see the potential transphobic underlying themes implied by depicting a masculinely gender non-conforming bisexual woman over-dosing "steroids" (testosterone) and turning her into a violent, delusional person who is even in narrative called a "monster" and told never to contact her family again (a very trans moment), especially when juxtaposed with the soft, effeminate, poor cis femme of dubious, unreliable-narrator-proclaimed straightness being an ongoing/foreshadowed minor antagonist in the storyline who manipulates the situation and main character to her advantage, and gets killed for it, but ultimately doesn't exist to do more than create tension between, and be a threat to, the main characters' relationship and the story's plot.

BUT! I do think it was thematically appropriate to finally make the relationship between Jack & Lou equal as a bow to tie the story together.

I enjoyed the film, I enjoyed the composition, I was more riveted to the screen than my ADHD ass usually managed when vegging out on the couch. it's everything I want from a movie where everyone involved ends up worse as a person after meeting each other

I'm just looking at it now with my AP English critical consumption skills and wondering if, maybe, queer communities in general, and the trans & lesbian communities specifically, are not currently enjoying the solidarity-filled political climate that would allow this movie to avoid potentially coming across as, well, a bit unknowingly biphobic and transphobic, even as a queer film, what with one of our main characters being depicted as loving her girlfriend "despite" her having had sex with men, and especially when the main pair get their "happy ending" at the cost of another queer person's life.

Maybe in 30-40 years.

VERDICT: polyamory (and solidarity over self-interest) could have saved this movie's 2nd half for focusing on the real villain: the cops and cop-lovers who were using their power to get away with disenfranchising people with escalating violence and abuse.

If you've also watched Love Lies Bleeding, or you know more about the context around the film, or you just like talking about meta analysis, please let me know what you think!

[sleepywyrldbuilder]

Speculating here (based on my own personal experience) but I think part of this is that people don’t know how they’re supposed to respond to a critique. So much fandom culture is around “this work is problematic” that any critique feels like a direct attack and prevention of anyone from every enjoying what you put out into the world ever again.

Which is not how making art goes!

Sometimes, somebody will say “Hey, I really didn’t like XYZ part of this fanfic” or even “I don’t like it when XYZ is in fanfics in general” which happens to apply to your fanfic. Is this some almighty God coming down to speak a bespoke truth about the universe to you? No! And even if it was, I wouldn’t respect His opinion as the gospel truth anyways. What it is is a reflection of how some people will react when reading your story. From here there are four options:

Read the critique, understand where they’re coming from, and agree that you don’t like the aspect of your writing/art that they were critiquing either. This is painful and feels like death by a thousand hammers, but if it genuinely highlights an aspect of your writing that you either didn’t notice or ignored the flaws of, and now want to fix, then you will feel stronger and better through the other end of it.

Read the critique, understand where they’re coming from, and disagree that you need to change anything about it. Sometimes, people want different things from a work, and something that is a massive turn off for many people just isn’t for you. Consider that if you were writing smut, you would not expect every one in the world to be on board with every kink or fetish it depicts- They may even grumble about the prevalence of those kinks in that fandom space. The same goes with any other piece of fan work, and art in general. No piece of art or literature is behind critique- otherwise, it wouldn’t be worth making, because it’s just part of the cultural conversation.

Read the critique, understand where they’re coming from, and disagree WHAT it is that needs to change. Maybe they go “you make this character too self-serving and arrogant when that’s poor characterisation!” And you fundamentally disagree. But then you look over the chapter and realise “Oh, I made their monologue and internal dialogue 90% of the past two scenes. It’s far too much all at once and tonally jarring.” So you change it! That doesn’t mean you agree with the premise of the person’s critique, or even that that’s what they noticed; it’s using the critique as a jumping off point to do your own reflection.

Read the critique, go: “that’s stupid” and move on. Do not respond. Do not start beef. Do not spiral about whether or not the whole world is against you and your a but a wee sacrificial lamb (I have been guilty of this with critiques by an actual editor. Whose job it was to edit what I had written.) Just know that somebody out there has abjectly incorrect opinions about the work you’ve made and the space you’ve made that work in and live with it. There is zero benefit to starting an argument about this person- What things somebody likes or dislikes in a piece of media is part of a vast and complex array of personal and cultural beliefs of which they take part in, and if they do not already like you, attacking those will not make them like you more. Block if you must (though it’s not necessary, really, unless they’re being cruel), and if you really want to have a conversation about it, do it with someone who disagrees with you but ultimately enjoys your company and will be willing to take part in a constructive conversation about it.

This is what works for me. If you want to be treated seriously as an artist, you are going to make art which triggers critique. You are also going to have to live in the same world as that critique gracefully. You do not need to accept it, you do not need to let it replace your artistic identity, you don’t need to get in a furious argument about it, you just need to treat it what it is: One persons reaction to your piece of work, and use it as a reference point accordingly. Everyone may develop different ways of handling critique, and as long as it does not get in the way of you making art which expresses the meaning you intend to express, it works for you.

if you post something online publicly to an audience people are allowed to go on their blogs and talk about their opinions of it. even if you are doing it as a hobbyist. i don't understand how that's controversial. if you consider amateur/fan works to be legitimate art - which i personally do - then they are just as subject to critique as any other art form. something can not both be art and off limits to critique, it does not work like that. this shouldn't even be a question.

if you really are not comfortable with the idea of anyone publicly voicing a negative opinion about your work, then you can not share that publicly. i understand it can be vulnerable, but that's the trade off you make for sharing yourself. obviously when people are unnecessarily cruel in their critique that sucks but the problem there isn't the public critique the problem there is that sometimes people are dicks.

[sevenpeaches]

Warning: this may hurt your eyes ✨

[mickules]

What are your opinions on rare Danganronpa ships? If you have any favorites, what would they be?

I'm afraid I don't really have any in the way of rare ones, since I tend to hover around canon-compliant. Even then, in general I don't err toward romance very often, rather I tend to land hard on platonic, ride or die, best friends interactions. There usually has to be something specific that suggests otherwise to me.

In the rare-pair platonic vein, I think Hifumi/Tsumugi are dream team collaborators. They would dominate any convention. I like to think they have a surface level rivalry where they try to top each other, but are extremely appreciative of the other's efforts.

Also, I don't know if this is that rare- I've definitely seen it floating around, I think first from @hatteymcstache Romantically or platonically, I think Celeste would love Gonta. Endlessly gullible and accommodating himbo who wants to be a gentleman? That's too perfect, she'd never let him slip through her fingers - although the bugs and lack of shoes might be a hurdle.

I mean is this or is this not her peak aesthetic?

I can see why antagonist-protagonist pairings can be so popular since there's so much interpersonal conflict to delve into and explore- especially since many 'rival' pairings are essentially two allies who are separated by circumstance. In essence that's what Taka and Mondo are, just fast tracked from enemies - friends - soulmates by way of sauna based conflict resolution.

I'm sorry to say that I've been primed by a childhood adoration of Seto Kaiba to be far too generous to Byakuya (excepting that nonsense with Chihiro) He'd never describe any of his relationships in terms other than 'temporarily interesting plebeians with some limited potential use' with any kindness he provides always having an ulterior motive; but his interactions with Makoto give off 'surly cat who happens to be in the same room as you 90% of the time' energy to me.

Nagito is a bit of a nebulous one for me to imagine since he seems a too preoccupied with his adoration of the talent the ultimates posses than necessarily caring about them as people which makes it difficult for me to see him engaging with any of them in a genuine way, either platonically or romantically. (there does seem to otherwise be some 'protag-oriented' energy in SDR2 with how the cast interact with Hajime lol)

I . . .uh. . . I'll be frank. I know he's a fan favourite but I just do not jive well with Kokichi. No shade meant, but because of that no matter how I try, I can't really imagine any interaction between him and Shuichi that doesn't boil down to:

Ah, for the record- No I don't, but I think this is continued confusion from the "v3 cast as the kids of the dr1 cast" post - in hindsight it's kinda opaque- so let me clear that up! The top part was supposed to show adult Mondo and adult Taka with adopted son Kaito meeting newly adopted sister Maki. In my mind it was unmistakable that they would be adopted so I plain forgot to specify! I can see how it looks like two separate parents introducing their kids.

The bottom part was supposed to be completely separate alternate take, showing adult Hiro with biological son Kaito from an unspecified partner. Unspecified because I don't personally picture anyone specific with Hiro romantically. (That's just me of course, I know there's a lotta love for Hiro in the fanbase!)

I hope that ^ clears it up! (Coincidentally my parents have the same age gap, tho' of course they didn't meet in high school with my dad havin' been held back like 6 times XD)

(edit: more pairing [asks])

(next set of asks [about Taka’s eating habits]) (previous set [Head-canons about Taka’s mum/Takaaki])

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[ttrpgcafe]

I wanted to use this as a bouncing off point, because I've found some interesting patterns in ttrpgs after reading 100+ of them that I think (hope) will make for an interesting addition.

Generally, a "forever game" needs to be an original setting, or the setting needs to be easily enough thrown away to use the systems in their own. This is to say that rpgs that take place in existing IP, i.e., Dune, Star Wars, Blade Runner, etc, don't work as well as forever games, and most of them lean into that. I think this is true because the more closely tied to the IP a book is, the more sensitive it is to changes in that IP.

Take Harry Potter, for example. I bet that if an official HP ttrpg had existed when we all found out about JKR's transphobia, a not insubstantial portion of tumblr and leftists more broadly would have stopped playing it, even if they had already given her their money, and playing more wouldn't have ultimately helped her monetarily at all. (We can talk about whether interacting with a property in this way helps the creator in a different post) This is still true in a world where she isn't a bigot though, imagine you were all playing the game in one way, with a particular characterization, world building element, or other neat idea from the books\movies and JKR puts out a tweet that fundamentally changes the world you're playing in. If, for instance, a female pc had romanced Dumbledore, and only found out he was gay after the fact, do they retcon it? Do they break up? Play out a whole coming out plot? Or do they just keep on keeping on, "canon" be damned?

This is a very small example, but the point is that you and your table may enjoy playing in an established world for a while, maybe even a year or two, but eventually, you're going to start making game decisions that break the established "lore" of a setting, and the more of those you make, the more it stops feeling like that established IP and the more it starts to feel like you're better off abandoning the IP entirely in favor of your own story.

Some (not all or even most) ttrpgs tied to IP like this acknowledge this in some way, either setting a predetermined end point for character progression as a natural end to a campaign, letting the players have their own "timeline" or multiversal universe to play in, etc.

I have found, however, that the closer an rpg is to presenting little more than an interesting lore bible, fun mechanics, and solid gm advice, the closer it probably is to being a "forever game". These are things like pathfinder, earlier editions of D&D, starfinder, and all of the World of Darkness settings.

Of those, WoD actually makes for a fascinating case study of exactly the phenomena I described, because the "worst* criticisms I've seen levied at it was tearing into it for it's meta plot in the 90s, telling people how to play their game and fundamentally altering the world every couple of years drove (some) players away. From what I gather, V, H, and W 5 are all benefitting from leaning away from that mentality so far.

I don't know if this is generally true or if this is exclusive to my experience, but please, feel free to discuss this with me, I'm always down to be proven wrong!

The Forever Game, pt 2: What Gets to Be a Forever Game?

referencing this post

Let's talk about what counts as a Forever Game, shall we? Considering it's a term I saw once on a post I can no longer find and proceeded to formalize with Proper Noun Caps, it certainly can't prove to be a reductive taxonomy, can it?

As I mentioned in part 1, I think of Forever Games as being a type of game on its own - something with a certain approach to character design & progression, which is built with some assumption of long-term play. After all, I don't usually suggest Mage: The Awakening as a one-shot game.

This conception clearly isn't universal - a number of respondents brought up the fact that just about any game can be the one a table comes back to as their baseline, so long as they like it enough. And that's absolutely true - For the end user, any game can serve any purpose. Unfortunately, and with respect to the people who brought it up, this observation just isn't very useful for our purposes.

It's absolutely true that any game can be someone's forever game. But that's a feature of tabletop games as a medium - the fact is, at the end of the day all games take place inside our heads. This is why people use D&D 5th edition as a murder mystery game, or a tabletop-visual-novel; they understand that the fundamental mechanism of this art form is the limitless power of imagination, and are comfortable using the same rules framework every time to build whatever narrative they like, regardless of whether or not better-tailored alternatives exist.

If we want to get on the same page about Forever Games, we need to look at something concrete - like on-paper design of games themselves. That in mind, let me put forth some qualities that a Forever Game might have:

Almost certainly a trad game. While games like Wanderhome exist, the vast majority of titles I'd list as forever game candidates have a GM and probably use at least two denominations of dice.

A multi-faceted character framework. In other words, a race/class system is better suited for a Forever Game than simple Playbooks, generally speaking. This is for replayability's sake. Some folks play wizards all the time, every time - but if you've just spent five years as Slagnarr the Axinator, it might be nice to start over as a healer for the next go round.

A customizable progression track. The more a game allows you to make a capital-B-Build, the better. This is part & parcel with the above point, re: replayability, but it serves another purpose - embodying your character concept. Imagination is well and good, but there's something special about having a class feature that supports the way you want to play your character. It makes them feel more real.

At least one game mode that involves intricate mechanical interactions. The classic version of this is a grid combat system - but a crunchy exploration system or involved crafting mechanic are also good examples of this. The more rich and interesting a game's... well, game elements are, the better the game will hold up over time. Note that I don't say complex, but rich. There's a reason GURPS light is more popular than the full ruleset. Games tend to last longer when they give more of the table something to be doing at any given time, minimizing dead zones in play.

Little in the way of social mechanics. Hear me out on this - for a lot of tables, the ability to get together with friends, put on a mask, and goof off without fear of social repercussion is a huge draw. Having to do the same kinds of rules reference for politicking that you use for mosnter slaying doesn't facilitate the fantasy; it hinders freedom of play. You want the chance to fail your Will save because it creates interesting drama. The idea that you might be punished for shamelessly flirting with the King while his consort is Right There ruins the fun. A table's forever game is going to be something that lets them play casually. I don't think this is a controversial opinion; the idea of a "beer and pretzels" game is older than I am, and anyone who's been in a long-term game with friends knows how loosey-goosey things can get. I think that facilitating jokes has a solid correlation to facilitating coming back to the game.

This isn't really working towards anything. Really, I just wanted to take the opportunity of my own vagueness to elaborate a bit on what exactly I mean when I say "forever game," so if I decide to keep poking the hornet's nest, we can at least agree on whether I'm using a stick or a branch.

[kigozula]

Holy shit! I just read your review, and tbh i think i will not like tbona. And what i hate the most is that everyone hyped this book like it was written by god or smth💀💀 like, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but in so many reviews ppl said Jacks was horrible, so why do they keep shipping them when nothing romantic is happening and it’s so OBIVIOUS they are not good for each other🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️At this point i wish she’d just end up with lala😭😭

Alright I need to warn you for huge spoilers:

You are right, I also think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and interpretation. But I also ask myself and wonder why Jacks is so hyped in this book?

Don’t get me wrong I love him too. In Legendary, Finale and especially in OUABH.

But I can’t understand how I should even like him in the ballad. Just because he saved Evangeline, just because he is handsome ?? And ALL THE REST?? He gets too many, too many chances.

Yes he is a fate, but he kept on betraying Evangeline. He kept on leaving her behind, tricking her and breaking her heart in the worst ways.

I was shocked since so many people described this book as ultimate Evajacks feels. But it’s really not if you ask me. Even Evangeline sees at the end that she falls for him one sided. I think we just want Evajacks so badly, that some of us just ignore the 90% part, the horrible part of what Jacks does.

I am wondering if my book is missing some pages where we can see that Evangeline is special for him and nothing like others to him...

But pay attention here: do you know what REALLY shocked me and destroyed my Evajacks feels?:

For one, his history (he loved another fox)

And two, the reason why he wants to open the Valory arc... and what he planned to do with Evangeline after he reached his goal. I was perplexed and scandalized.

This, this REALLY gave the one last drop.

I also think there might be a third book and I guess I will read it. And I hope the author can change things so that Evangeline is not one of many girls. I hope she can really make Jacks only feel things for her. Because I couldn’t see the extend of feelings and protection the readers described so far.

And I hope Evangeline will take a huge revenge so that Jacks will experience what heartbreak really looks and feels like.

Edit: Yes the only thing I can like is, that at the end he sacrifices something for her and saves her, but I can’t just erase all the other things he did before that...

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Agenda 22 1994 Trip Hop / Breakbeat / Downtempo / Ambient

Today we've got a sampler of a sampler, folks; three songs on a 12-inch record that were soon to be featured on an upcoming compilation of the same name from Dutch label Eevo Lute. How's that for good ephemera? Now, I was under the impression that there was to be techno on this thing for two reasons: one, although Eevo Lute would eventually become known for its abstract output, they initially started out by releasing Detroit-styled techno, and two, whoever was responsible for writing and editing the entry on Discogs for this specific release classified it as techno, among other things. But I'm here to tell you that, despite those two facts, there is actually not a single second of techno on here.

Instead we have trip hop, breakbeat, and ambient/downtempo. And since this is a pretty short comp, let's take each track one by one, shall we?

2000 & One's "Journey to Silence" is a slow and winding, lazy Sunday morning, 9-minute trip hop affair. This is actually a specific style of trip hop that's both sort of unobtrusive but also cinematic because of its lengthiness and all the different motifs that one can cook up on top of a simple hip hop-type of drumbeat. But whereas the drum groove is central to a lot of trip hop tracks, it's not so much the case for songs like these. A simple hip hop-type beat is enough to get the job done, but the real action is all the fluff that goes on top of it.

In fact, there's a terribly misleading name for this type of trip hop called ambient breakbeat; the ambient descriptor's applicable, but the breakbeat part isn't, because there's no sampled drum break, so it can't be breakbeat. It would be more accurate to just call this stuff ambient trip hop instead, but I don't think anyone actually really uses that term 🤷‍♂️. But since it's not actually breakbeat, I refuse to label it as such.

However, the next tune, "Sex and Lies," is breakbeat, and because of its lower tempo, it can also be classified as trip hop. This is by far my favorite song out of the three on this record. Eevo Lute co-founder Wladimir M delivers an awkward spoken-word Dutch-accent monologue over this psychedelically captivating backdrop that's loaded up with a ton of synth work, both beautifully dark and ambient as well as melodic. The infusion of the dusty drum break at the 1:40 mark is ultimately what makes this song so terrific though. Stunningly good track there.

And last is David Caron's "A Quiet Passing," a song that's good but not great. It's on a spectrum between ambient and downtempo, probably leaning more towards ambient because of its stress on its long synth notes above all else, even though it does have a drumbeat. This thing sounds like it belongs in a TV score for some crappy syndicated mid-90s action/drama 😅. Could go with a slow and steamy romantic scene or a setting in which the protagonist is quietly rappelling from a ceiling vent into a very secure room in the villain's lair. Ample for either type of scene like that, but it's not something I'm gonna go out of my way to try to learn about during a commercial break. It's definitely no "Crockett's Theme."

But yeah, this is a pretty sweet little electronic 12-inch from the mid-90s. Wonder if the rest of the full compilation that these songs eventually appeared on are like these too, or if there's actually some techno on it 🤔.

Highlights:

2000 & One - "Journey to Silence" Wladimir M - "Sex and Lies"

[theartistknownaslymond]

Post-canon F/P for the playlist ask please (possibly around Philippa and Joleta’s girls night out?)

So! I already did a mini-playlist for the girls' night out fic(s) (link1, link2), and didn't want to let an F/P playlist get taken over by the kind of stuff Joleta might sing karaoke to (which is actually very valid and good music, just not very F/P! If anyone wants that playlist too, just drop me an ask...)

And then, that decided, the first draft of the playlist trashed, I just spent an age trying to work out what actual romantic music there was from the '80s/early '90s. Of course, one track remained through all my editing, and that was a Kate Bush one. Finally, I am pleased with what has come together though.

tant que je vive

a band AU playlist for Francis and Philippa facing the open sea 💙🌊

1) Bert Jansch - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face 2) R.E.M. - Strange Currencies 3) Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night 4) Cock Robin - The Promise You Made 5) Richard Thompson - King of Bohemia 6) 10,000 Maniacs - Trouble Me 7) R.E.M. - Perfect Circle 8) Kate Bush - The Sensual World 9) Anne Briggs - Willie O'Winsbury 10) Peter et Sloane - C'est la vie d'château avec toi 11) Maurice Jarre - Lara's Theme 12) Björk - Venus As A Boy 13) Nick Drake - Northern Sky 14) Nic Jones - Master Kilby 15) The Cure - Close To Me 16) Black - Wonderful Life 17) ABBA - Waterloo

As before, fcs are Johnny Flynn and Lucy Farrell. Discussion under the cut.

*Deep breath* No pressure, says Dorothy. It's just that Francis and Philippa are SO IN LOVE, so PERFECT for one another, so ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH that how could anyone else possibly understand (Jo this isn't about your Jerott issues shut up). She'd die for him. He'd die without her. They're going to be *SO HAPPY* when they're together but they did their best to make it deeply angsty beforehand. So what the hell do you put on their playist?! I had a few modern songs for them, but I'm enjoying keeping these a bit more period appropriate, so had to have a go. Some tracks are here for the lyrics, some are here for the vibes. I think it's mostly a fun playlist and not too angsty, but. I'm not sure what you need to ask for to unlock the Cheesiest Timeline of this AU yet, so just keep sending requests until we get there, I guess?

1) because the modern Offa Rex version is one of my ultimate Songs For Them. I couldn't find a period version with lyrics that I liked as much, but Bert Jansch is a Scottish folk guitar legend and this is a lovely instrumental version. 2) AU Francis/Philippa vibes are a bit...what if Michael Stipe's stage persona and Natalie Merchant were stayed together and wrote beautiful, impenetrable, complicated pop/rock/folk/grunge hits together? 3) I don't think I need to explain this one. It's a great big romantic I'd-do-anything song. 4) *smugly places a song about promises on an F/P fic*  oh no wait now pain. Because you lot get to suffer too, here are ALL the lyrics to a song Spotify randomly recommended for this playlist that is more F/P than anything I could have come up with myself: If I laid down my love To come to your defense Would you worry for me With a pain in your chest? Could I rely on your faith to be strong To pick me back up and to push me along? Tell me

You'll be there in my hour of need You won't turn me away Help me out of the life I lead Remember the promise you made Remember the promise you made If I gave you my soul For a piece of your mind Would you carry me with you To the far edge of time? Could you understand if you found me untrue Would we become one, or divided in two Please tell me

You'll be there in my hour of need You won't turn me away Help me out of the life I lead Remember the promise you made Remember the promise you made

Could I rely on your faith to be strong To pick me back up and to push me along? Please tell me

You'll be there in my hour of need You won't turn me away Help me out of the life I lead Remember the promise you made Remember the promise you made Remember the promise you made Remember the promise you made 5) This has also been a longstanding F/P song of mine, and I figured 1994 was just about early enough for it to be period-appropriate in a post-canon playlist. 6) Again with the Natalie Merchant. She may be more of a Kate fc, but this song is pure F/P: Have a look inside these eyes while I'm learning Please don't hide them just because of tears Let me Send you off to sleep with a "There, there, now stop your turning and tossing" Let me Know where the hurt is and how to heal Spare me? Don't spare me anything troubling 7) This one is for the Vibes. I just think it's *beautiful*. 8) This is the Kate Bush song that stayed on every version of this playlist. Based on the final chapter of Ulysses - literary and sexy, just like Francis and Philippa. 9) Again, broadly vibes rather than lyrics - the mysterious blond can be Francis, sure, but the main thing is it's a fairly consensual and lovely folk song, and I love this version by Anne Briggs so much. 10) Because I put their biggest hit on the angsty Francis pining playlist, I thought they'd like one where they just get to enjoy it. 11) The balalaika on Willie O'Winsbury reminded me of this, and again, it's a big iconic love song. 12) A bit on the literary and sexy side again. 13) I only encountered The Most Cheerful Nick Drake SongTM through a cover by my faves, Maximo Park, but I think Francis and Philippa deserve it in any iteration. 14) Another Romantic Folk Song for the vibes! Nic Jones was one of the most astonishingly brilliant folk guitarists. 15) Vibes. Robert Smith said it's meant to be unsettling, but I actually think it's just gorgeous? Also Francis 'I've waited hours for this / I've made myself so sick' Crawford finally realising Philippa wants him back. 16) Just vibes again. Even though the lyrics have him on his own, he still longs for another. Plus sea, plus blue eyes, etc. Too beautiful to leave off. Sun in your eyes The heat is in your hair They seem to hate you Because you're there And I need a friend Oh, I need a friend To make me happy Not stand here on my own Look at me standing Here on my own again Up straight in the sunshine

No need to run and hide It's a wonderful, wonderful life No need to laugh and cry It's a wonderful, wonderful life 17) Yes I meant to put this version on.