#this is like 95% reminders for myself lol

[alittlebitofwonk]

A short list of ways to instantly improve your writing, from someone with a degree in writing. (Also this list is partly a reminder for me lol).

Also, some of these are beginner tips and some are more advanced, take them as you want!

Number one tip I can give you, every time— PROPER SPACING AND PARAGRAPH BREAKS. Purdue Owl is my go-to resource for formatting details, but the basics are this: break a paragraph at any new event, at scenery changes, or, and this is the most important, when a new character begins speaking in dialogue. Also, when dialogue is three words or longer, it should come at the end or beginning of a paragraph. Don’t sandwich it. Keeping your paragraphs broken and not creating text walls will immediately help retain readership.

Show, don’t tell. I’m guilty of this too, tbh. But here’s an example— instead of saying “the apple was crunchy” say “as they bit into the apple, it crunched beneath their teeth.” Pair a description with an action! Instead of “it was cold out” say “he shivered as the wind hit, tucking his hands deep in his pockets.” Also helps boost word count.

It’s okay to end your sentences. I’m guilty of this one a TON— instead of starting a new sentence, I’ll do a comma or semicolon or em-dash, and it’ll just… keep… going. It’s okay to break those sentences up completely with a period. I promise.

Don’t over describe. Some description is great, and helps your reader build a better image of what you’ve written. But too much is boring, and doesn’t give the reader the space they need to put the picture together in a way that is meaningful to THEM. Your reader is just as important as you are. Have some faith in them!

Take inspiration. As fanfic authors we do this with media all the time, but take inspiration from more than just your fandom— find it in other fandoms, find it in your own struggles, find it in the world around you. It’s there for the taking.

Practice! Practice writing when you can, and practice reading, too. You can only get better, I promise. I’ve come a long way with practicing my own writing and learning from others.

If you read deeper than the surface, you’ll write deeper than the surface. Be mindful of the content you consume, and what goes into it. Think about the Hunger Games, for example. Yes, it’s a book about dystopian America, but it’s also a heavy criticism of consumerism, the entertainment industry, and the lack of value we assign to our children.

And the antithesis, too— sometimes a blue curtain is just a blue curtain. Not every detail you put down needs to have some deeper meaning. Sometimes a character just has white hair because it’s cool— not because they’re stressed or a chosen one or something.

Finally— all the rules can and should be broken. Yes, even the paragraph breaks. Break the conventions as you please, so long as you’re mindful and intentional about it. If you aren’t breaking up dialogue breaks, why aren’t you? Is it because you forgot, or are you trying to make the dialogue frantic, trying to convey how difficult the conversation is to keep track of?

Anyway, that’s all I have right now, but my inbox is always open for more tips! Also, here’s some links to reference texts I particularly like that aren’t super dense. I’m particular fond of these two because you can jump between sections to find what you want rather than having to read the whole text. (Don’t read On Writing Well. It will come up as a recommendation with these two. It sucks. The author spends far too much of his time talking about the fact that he went to Yale.)

[happywitch416]

Trying to summom enough fucks for the day. I have to call and get mine and Moose's insurance straightened out because we are set to lose it on the 31st because the mail never delivered my fuckin paperwork apparently. Landlord is coming to change the furnace filter at point between 8 and 5. Gotta bake cookies for this weekend, that thankfully I had the sense to make the dough earlier in the week. And I still haven't gotten a gift for my nephew which was sprung on us last minute* and I don't want to go near the toddler section of any fuckin store ever.

My plan for the day had been rest and game while I bake but alas. The adulting never stops. I want a fuckin refund. Like sure its better than being the kid I was but I was under the impression I'd have more fun being old!

[aristocratic-otter]

Thank you for tagging me, @monbons, @rimeswithpurple, @nausikaaa, @artsyunderstudy, @prettygoododds,

@ileadacharmedlife, @alexalexinii, @best--dress,  @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, 

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe, and @whatevertheweather

It's been another lovely year of getting to know you all and making new friends in this amazing fandom.

Some 2024 stats from AO3:

Number of works posted: 11

Number of events participated in: 6

Number of works completed: 3

Number of words written: 156,000

Seems pretty decent, right? But compare that to 2023:

Number of works posted: 12

Number of events participated in: 7

Number of works completed: 10

Number of words written: 294,445

So, what the fuck happened that cut my productivity literally in half? (Though I worked on nearly the same amount of fics, lol. Methinks my ambition doth outstrip my ability.)

Well, that’s a story, and one that’s unfortunately too common, from what I’ve learned. If you don’t want to listen to me ramble, feel free to jump down to the monthly list, because this is going to be entirely self-indulgent. Story and Fic timeline under the cut:

Part 1: 

Sometime around the beginning of last year, I began suffering a series of muscle and joint injuries…or so I thought. I was diagnosed with so many things. Arthritis. Bursitis. Muscle Strain. I was given physical therapy. I stopped going to physical therapy when the simplest exercise my therapist gave me left me crying in pain. I was given muscle relaxants and pain meds. Nothing had any long term effect. All I knew was, my body was slowly giving up on me. 

It affected my job. I went from being a teacher who was constantly buzzing around the classroom, checking on students and giving assistance, to a teacher who seldom could manage to leave her chair. My students struggled and my classroom grew messier by the day, because I couldn’t check that the students were cleaning up, nor could I clean up after them myself. 

It affected my home life. By the time I’d get home from work, the pain and stiffness were always at a high. I’d end up rotting in a recliner all evening, every evening. My mind grew foggier, my concentration worse, and it started taking me three to four times the usual amount of time to simply prep my lesson for the next day. I had next to nothing left to spare for my family or my hobbies.

So writing? On a work night, I was lucky to write a paragraph. Real progress on my WIPs started only happening on weekends. 

Finally, near the beginning of last summer, I went to my doctor, desperate for something, anything. At that point, I was beginning to believe I’d have to take (very) early retirement and go on disability, because I couldn’t even walk around a grocery store, and I refused to have another year where I didn’t serve my students as they deserved to be served. 

I blurted out all of this to my doctor, and she frowned at me and asked me to describe where my pain was. 

Hips, spine, knees, ankles, elbows, I told her. 

Then she said the words that changed everything. “It sounds like you have Fibromyalgia.”

Part 2

Can you believe, educated as I am, especially in the sciences, I’d never heard of it? I’ve learned a lot since. Fibro mainly afflicts women, mainly affects people in their prime or slightly older. And, until recently, it was considered an unprovable disease, like chronic fatigue syndrome. There were no medical tests for it, and most victims were treated like they were imagining things. There were no medicines for it. No therapies. There was no explanation for the disparate cluster of symptoms associated with it.  As far as the medical profession was concerned, it didn’t exist. 

I’m lucky. Things started changing for Fibro patients just a few years before my diagnosis. Three years ago, two drugs were approved for it. There is now a diagnostic test for it. And there’s plenty of research outlining a causal pathway for the disease. 

Turns out, it’s a brain disease. The brain affects every part of the body, and in the case of fibro, it also affects how we perceive our bodies. Because that’s what happens in fibromyalgia: your brain misreads pain signals from the body. It’s like my pain sensitivities are always dialed up to eleven. Something that causes a twinge for a non-Fibro sufferer can cause a Fibro patient to scream in agony. 

When I went to a specialist, she told me I hit every single diagnostic criteria for Fibromyalgia. So, I got meds. I got referrals to a rheumatologist and physical therapy again. This time, the physical therapist was able to focus my work on things that were within my capabilities and were meant to improve my symptoms. My rheumatologist is testing out different meds and dosages on me to see what gets the most useful result. 

I still have Fibro. Maybe I always will, there’s disagreement on whether a cure is even possible. But the meds and therapy help manage the pain and reverse some of the brain fog. I’m able to circulate and help my students again, though I have to be cautious of overexertion, which can trigger a high-pain episode. I can interact with my family and actually do some chores and work in the evenings, though, again, I have to take it easy (I’m not good at taking it easy, it’s a learning curve). I’m writing more. Usually a page or more a night. 

My journey is hopefully back on track, and I hope to finish all of my current WIPs in the next year. But I figured that this is the one night a year that people use to reflect on the past and look forward to the future, so that’s what I’m doing. And maybe my story will help someone. If you’re struggling with any aspect of your health, I hope you find answers and help in 2025. 

Happy New Year!

My Year In Fic

January

Nothing new posted or finished. As I recall, I was mostly working on The Heart in the Well and Cupid's Shield.

February

Posted (republished after release in the Lady Ruth Charity Zine)

The Bother About Brownies (art by @hgari)

4845 Words, Rated T

Baz is tasked with creating a dessert for the triplets' school cake sale. Brownies are such an easy recipe. What could go wrong?

Lemon Blueberry Shortbread, art by @letraspal

2912 Words, Rated G

Two afternoons of learning to cook a family recipe, thirty years apart.

Posted as part of Erotic Gropefest (WIP)

Cupid’s Shield, WIP

Currently 10,122 words, Rated E

I used to think that Valentine’s Day was bollocks invented by greeting card companies.

That was before I started at Watford and learned that it was deadly serious.

March

Nothing posted (possibly some chapters of WIPs, there's no way to check). But I was definitely working on nearly all of my fics that are still WIPs and The Heart in the Well, which is finished.

April

First Posting of:

Stars, Flowers, and Children (WIP)

Currently 20,005 words, Rated E

To Simon, Baz is a stuck up brat he has to put up with in between his duties as Cabin boy on the SS Watford.

To Baz, Simon is the chavvy, illiterate savage of a boy who won't bow and scrape the way he's supposed to.

Marooned together because of a disaster at sea, they'll have to come together as allies in order to survive. But they're destined to become so much more than that.

May

More work on posting chapters of in-progress WIPs.

June

Finished final chapter of:

The Heart In The Well

14326 Words, Rated T

Carry On Reverse Bang 2023 Collaboration with @alexalexinii, 

Simon Snow should have known better than to chase after the Hobgoblin Horde. Now he's trapped at the bottom of a well with no food or water, and a vampire who's only going to get thirstier as time passes.

Baz Pitch doesn't know why the Hobgoblins abducted him from the Wavering wood. He just knows that Snow was stupid enough to get caught too, and now they're trapped together, and Baz hasn't had blood in three days...

July

First chapter posted of Carry On Big Bang Collaboration with @cutestkilla

The Rat and the River, (WIP)

Currently 10550 words, Rated E

Simon Snow is an epidemiologist working for the UKHSA He's a cocky field scientist who goes to hotspots all over the world, helping to track down the causes of the outbreaks and put an end to the cycle of death and disease.

Baz is a microbiologist, who, until now, has never left the UK. He works on Simon’s samples sent from overseas, but that’s the closest he gets to danger and excitement. He’s a reservist, meaning he’s available for deployment in the event of a large-scale event, but he’s never been called up.

Simon does his best to stir him up whenever he’s in town because he believes that Baz's life lacks excitement. One day, Simon is sent into action again, this time to South America. Down a microbiologist, Simon decides to pick Baz. In his mind, it’s to show him “the real world” but he really just wants a chance to work side by side with the reserved scientist.

Of course, in the rainforest tracking a disease of unknown origin and deadliness, that may just be spreading out of control, is maybe not the best place for a flirtation.

But when has Simon ever done things the easy way?

August

Most recent update of: 

Saving Simon Snow (WIP)

Currently 47,078 Words, Rated E

What if Simon had never gone to Baz's gothic manor over the Christmas holidays? What if the war between the old families and the Mage started while Simon confronted the Mage in the White Chapel?

The Mage is dead. The Humdrum defeated. The old families have control of Watford and the Coven. And nobody will tell Baz where Simon Snow is.

September

First month of school. Needless to say, nothing got done.

October

First Posting of

Tiktok Dancer (WIP)

Currently 11,133 words, Rated E

Snow has never known a world outside his father's realm in the ocean. Until he comes across a group of dancers performing on the beach, and finds a dream he'd never thought to have.

November

2024 Carry On Reverse Bang Entries. 

The Stoves Come On At Night, (WIP), collaboration with @ebbpettier:

Currently 4895 words, Rated M

Fresh out of a break-up, Simon is desperate for work. He takes on a caretaking job for the elderly Mordelia Grimm. It's a pretty slick gig: fully-stocked pantry, big beautiful house, nobody to bother him. Nobody around, for miles.

But at night, Simon swears that he hears footsteps in empty rooms.

He starts finding puddles of lake water, footprints, doors open when he knows he left them closed. At night, he hears the sound of wet, rattling breathing from his pitch-black doorway.

Most concerning of all, the stoves keep turning on at night, even if he switches them off and tapes down the dials.

There's something very wrong at Pitch Manor.

Baby Mine (WIP), collaboration with @argumentativeantitheticalg

Currently 3590 words, Rated M

Four years ago, Basilton Pitch teamed up with Simon Snow to solve the mystery of who murdered Baz's mother. Now, they'll need to join forces again, after an unexpected delivery is left on Baz's doorstep.

December

Most recent update of my 2023 fic for COTTA

The Snow Fox (WIP)

Currently 27,344 Words, Rated E

Simon "Snow" Salisbury is the most wanted patriot in the American Revolution. Wanted by the British army, who want to see him hanged. Wanted by the Tories, who'd shoot him on sight, given the chance.

And wanted by Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.

I also participated in the Secret Snowflake Exchange on the Carry On Discord, but it looks like I'll be finishing that fic after midnight my time, so it'll end up being the first fic of 2025!

I'm probably the last to do this. But in case I'm not, here's tags for anyone on my tag list who didn't tag me, so anyone who wants to has a chance to do this.

@thewholelemon, @bookish-bogwitch, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos,

@erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,  @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @melodysmash,

@moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,  @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee,

@tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix,

@shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost, @mooncello, @shrekgogurt,

@cosmicalart,  @theearlgreymage, @Iamamythologicalcreature, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @facewithoutheart,

@martsonmars, @skeedelvee, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @messofthejess, @noblecorgi,

@hushed-chorus,  @blackberrysummerblog, @cutestkilla,@letraspal, @ic3-que3n,

@emeryhall, @larkral, @youarenevertooold

[munchboxart]

Fountain pen ink update, I've collected quite a collection of inks! Unfortunately, I underestimated how many blues I decided to get LOL I still have more on the way as well.

I just bought Machu Picchu by Diamine, Milky Way by Troublemaker, and a sample of Quantum Teal by Birmingham Pens that I'm really excited to try.

I just realised I didn't swatch another purple I had that's also called Milky Way (but it's by Pentonote). I also swatched Classic Green by Diamine but just didn't show it off because I... only have 1 green, but I'll be happy to share if anyones interested.

By the way, all of these swatches (except for the Classic Green) is done by a glass dip pen.

Some notes for similar inks: Boilers Steam by Birmingham Pens and Dragon by Octopus Fluids are pretty much identical, the main difference is that Dragon is a lot more sheenier. Maskara and Simulan by Vinta Inks are also extremely similar, the main difference is that Maskara is a little more warmer, while Simulan is cooler. Bog Sage and Snowfield by Dominant Industry look similar on camera, but Bog Sage shades a lot more, while Snowfield is just lighter (and has glitter).

As for favorite inks, my opinion heavily depends on how it looks when writing with a fountain pen, but I will say I really like Dugong Bughaw by Vinta Inks (my mega sheener ink) and Dragon by Octopus Fluids. I'm really looking forward to using Blueze Hadancourt by Dominant Industry on my pen because It looks really pretty (Yuletide by Diamine as well). Oh! Classic Green too, but I just put that in yesterday so I'll have to do more writing, but I like how it looks (but maybe it's just because it's a change from blue-purples). LASTLY, I really love the Cat swatch by Colorverse, I believe it looks best with dip pen.

As for inks I want to get in the future, the only ink I have in mind that I want to get 100% is Gyeyu Jeongnan by Colorverse. I love snow, and it looks like blood on snow which I think looks really cool. And at least one Wearingeul ink. I almost caved and bought The Great Gatsby for myself, but I heard a lot of reviews that it was underwhelming so I held back on it. I bought 1984 for a friend and red glitter on red ink is crazy. Enki, Wendy Darling, White Rabbit, I am a cat, and The Happy Prince seem like inks I'm interested in, though.

As for new pens. From left to right: Lamy Safari (M), Jinhao Acrylic 82 (M), Monteverde Ritma (Omniflex), Jinhao Tiandao 1935, and Pilot Kakuno (M)

I'm pretty sure I showed off my Lamy Safari before but I'll show it again because I like how it looks and reminds me of a Premier Ball (my fav).

I do have more pens but they're unremarkable. What I do want to talk about is my Monteverde Ritma. I've wanted this thing since the beginning of my proper Fountain Pen journey. I believe it's the most expensive pen I have so far. The capping and posting is magnetic which I absolutely love. The unfortunate part is the Omniflex nib. I never heard of it before and wanted to try it, good fucking god do not ever get this nib, it will not work 95% of the time. You need to be gentle with it otherwise you will permanently spread the tines so far apart that ink wont flow anymore. Just get a medium nib, my Monteverde has been rendered useless for now before I get a JoWo #6 replacement. It's unfortunate because the nib is gorgeous too! It just fucking sucks nut

The other pen I wanted to talk about is the Jinhao Tiandao 1935 (2 pictured under the pen pic). This is my absolute favorite pen. I wasn't sure I was gonna like it because it's the fattest pen I have but I love writing with this thing! Unfortunately, it does leak a lot more by the slit/breather hole of the nib compared to my other pens, but it's cool. I did also get this pen for the design at first. I think my friend finds the guitar clip corny but I like it a lot!!! It's funny as fuck. I might get a red version of this pen just because of how much I love it.

I'll be laying off of the pen collecting after that, I did get a Moonman M2 (not pictured) as my first eyedropper and it's just fine, I like how the ink looks in the barrel though. The only other pen I have in mind that I still want to get is an Opus 88 Demonstrator. I LOVEEE frosted stuff, I wish more pen companies did that style of design. I'm just... still working my way up on whether I am willing to spend 100+ on a pen.

I'll be slowing down a lot with these since I barely used any of the inks since I don't really write outside of work stuff, but also I've become very picky with what I want now, especially since I've made a conscious effort to go for more warmer or green inks because I have a crazy collection of cool colors right now. I'm also picky with inks in general, I really don't like normal ass inks where there's nothing special about it (no sheening or shimmer), but funny enough, I'm also very picky with the sheen was well (I don't like purple/green sheens). Also, I find that a lot of my inks look a little lighter compared to my glass dip pen samples, but I don't know if it's just that most of my pens run dry or what. If that is the case, then that's a little disappointing.

But that's it so far, I'll be happy to do a writing sample of any of the inks if anyone's interested.

EDIT: I just remembered one other thing.

I've wanted to get an ink muddler for a long time but they just do not fucking sell this one (this is by Dominant Industry) in NA for some reason OR they just sell out fast, which is really sad. I need to get one of these because my glass dip pen fucking sucks at swatching with, and I really do not want to waste Q-tips.

[nightimedreamersworld]

Wip Wednesday

Thank you for the tags today, lovelies @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and @forabeatofadrum your wips are so good ❤️

I've been a bit out of the loop for the past couple weeks, so still looking through past WIP posts I've missed, but everything rn is so good. I'm so excited to see what yall have come up with for podfest!

Right now, I'm still focused on my two wips for CORB (which starts in two weeks 😳). I admit I'm not as far along as I'd like on either fic, so I'm doing NaNoWriMo as a way to try and write as much as possible this month.

Here's a snippet of each, both Simon POV

Wip#1 (as of yet untitled, help):

“Do you believe in prophetic dreams?” I ask over a mouthful of scone.  This time, I ambush Penny during breakfast, no need to wait too long.  Her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, I think so? Like, divination—”  ���Is a whole science, as well as Oneiromancy, yeah, yeah.” Her frown deepens even more, and I push on. “But can you, like, predict the future through dreams?”  Penny chews, pensively. “It’s possible,” she finally says. “But it isn’t simple. Our dreams—”  “Can’t show us the whole truth, yeah, I know.” I pull at my hair; we’ve had this exact conversation before, haven’t we?  Penny crosses her arms. “Well, if you already know everything, then why are you asking me?”  “Forget it,” I mutter. “It’s just…”  Across the dining hall, I catch Baz looking at me, head cocked to the side. His hair is perfectly slicked back. It wasn’t like that before.  I look back at Penny. “I had a dream. About Baz.”  She rolls her eyes. “Don’t tell me about it. You know erotic dreams don’t necessarily reflect on people’s inner desire—”  “What?” I sputter. Erotic? Baz?

For wip#2, have a bit of Simon thirst:

I have no problem admitting Baz is fit as fuck; anyone with eyes can see that. Thing is, that just makes working with him even worse.  It should be a redeeming quality, but somehow Baz manages to weaponize his looks as well. He’s just better than everyone else, in every aspect, and he knows it. I can’t wait to find out all the ways he’ll rub his hotness in my face when we’re pressed up together, hanging by a strap God-knows-how-many feet above the ground.  I drag myself to the gym, already knowing he’ll be there. Silently taunting me.  He’s already up on his canes, one arm outstretched, the other one holding up the weight of his whole body. Both his legs are pointing to the right. His shirt is a light pink, almost sheer, dotted with a pattern of delicate flowers. It shows off the dark hair on his chest, and I have to make myself look away.  Most performers shave off—I don’t even need to, my body hair is just naturally sparse—but Baz never does. Maybe he thinks he’s better than the rest of us in that regard, too.  Like this, I can count all his ribs. His arse looks criminal. His movements look graceful and fucking ruthless at the same time.

Tagging a few friends: @artsyunderstudy @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @bookish-bogwitch @facewithoutheart @alexalexinii @j-nipper-95 (see above: the fruits of our sprints lol) @valeffelees @prettygoododds @captain-aralias @letraspal @hushed-chorus @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @confused-bi-queer @whogaveyoupermission @larkral @iamamythologicalcreature @whatevertheweather @stitchyqueer @martsonmars @aristocratic-otter @blackberrysummerblog and anyone else who'd like to join!

[oodlyenough]

immediate doctor who thoughts before i dive into tags/etc. spoilers for space babies and devil's chord:

both kind of mixed bags for me, where i had fun and was enjoying myself but no immediate no-qualms super faves. i preferred devil's chord for being a bit more dramatic over space babies being a bit too silly

space babies:

a bit too silly for me, although i find it objectively hilarious that RTD has heard a decade plus of criticism of farting aliens and was like "lmao watch THIS"

i did prefer this brief commentary on abortion to kill the moon lmfao

15 and ruby are super fun together, ruby jives into the companion role well and easily, old news by now haha but ncuti gatwa is a great fit for the doctor

the AI program run amok creating a bogeyman plot was neat i thought, like, conceptually, lol

felt a bit unresolved? like where is that thing going... to the refugee planet? is it ACTUALLY dangerous or just scary?

assumed they were going to reveal it was 'just scary (looking)' but it wasn't with the babies at the end lol

i have no clue what the status of the time lords is now -- another genocide?? when?? -- but also i don't care, god bless, love and light xoxo

some parts of this ep i felt like i had to just nod and remind myself they're treating it almost like a pilot episode

def some familiar beats with end of the world, rose seeing earth, calling home, etc. i prefer EOTW as an episode alas

devil's chord

liked this one a lot more, for like. 95% of it

couldn't afford licensed music LOL

ruby's theme on the piano is great

really enjoyed maestro as a villain! and i am interested in all the toymaker, giggle, pantheon stuff

caught the giggle noise right away and was :O

also i'm sure 1000 people pointed it out in the tags but for the record i did immediately clock the billboard for "chris waites and the commanders" -> "the one who waits" -> big bad hint. exciting

loved all the sort of... surreal playing with environment stuff the gods(??) are able to do, it adds a lot more tension and stuff to the ep and lets the show have fun. i think the supernatural, myth angle is going to be fun

susan reference! aw

'june or july 2024' lool they had no idea what the release window was gonna be huh

the 5% i didn't enjoy very much was the "twist ending". i like musicals! i was hyped for a musical ep! but that was... ??

overall season:

8 episodes is so short! but i guess it does allow them to really hone in on this ruby, toymaker, snow, myth mystery stuff. 15 and ruby have a great vibe and i'm looking forward to the rest

[vickozone]

The Magnus Archives

-S3 Notes-

WAY MORE NOTES

More fanart is definitely coming soon.

<- previous notes next notes ->

Handwriting translated below:

#81 childhood neurodivergent trauma. I like Georgie already. … I… didn’t like this episode very much. It reminds me too much of myself…

#82 Elias has the eye powers

#83 “The Stranger.” Circus and delivery service seem to theme. But, how?

#84 Martin is filling in for Jon, old “graveyard”, Melanie is archival assistant?

#85 “The Spiral”, someone isn’t not existing, Georgie is going on a date.

#86 The blanket never did anything, Jon spills some tea.

#87 Sebastian was so oblivious that Megan had to invite him back to notice something was up. [what an icon] Also, mentions of the lightless flame, the stranger, and some weird ritual. Jude Perry even needed to show up!

#88 The calliope is GONE. DIG. Martin really got into that statement and I do not trust Daisy one bit.

#89 Perry is The Desolation and Jon’s hand is TOTALLY singed off

#90 Jared is a bodybuilder and a butcher? He’s the Barbie of TMA. Also, strong women.

#91 Just as quick as he came, Michael Crew, [avatar of?] The Vast, is dead. Daisy is strangling Jon and we learn he can make people speak. AAAA NOT HIS THROAT!

#92 Elias confesses to killing Gertrude and Jurgen, Basira now works at the institute, “Hunt” is associated with Daisy, Jon is so mentally and physically unwell, and more details about the avatars.

#93 Admiral, delivery service, Georgie learns the truth, “Jonathan Sims, are you trying to save the world?”

#94 Georgie talks about her own experiences with death

#95 Martin reads statement regarding 2nd World War. He cares for Jon… a lot…

#96 Breekon and Hope backstory, and Daisy/Jon interview Sarah Baldwin

#97 “ELIAS, WHAT IS MY METAPHORICAL PIT?!” Also, Nikola Orsinov is that stranger chic.

#98 Maxwell, sandman, and Mel is new to poisoning people.

#99 The buried, Michael used to work for Gertrude, Jon is moving out and he got kidnapped— HOW MANY TIMES IS HE GONNA GET HURT?! (HIS LAST NAME IS SHELLEY?! 🥺)

#100 This is so hard to listen to. This literally hurts my brain.

#101 Michael. He… IT shares its statement. Gertrude created Michael. It got sucked through its own door, making way for… Helen Richardson. “He trusted her.” (I feel I am being too tame. MICHAEL IS DEAD?!)

#102 Jon + Mel planning to kill Elias right in front of him, Jon spoke French, more bugs.

#103 Demon pig

#104 If Tim dies… oh, he’s so hurt…

#105 Jon goes to china, The End mentioned, he is rather oblivious.

#106 The space and vast, also Melanie + Basira are shipping Martin and Jon. Stoppp! Also, Elias is pure evil. Jon is also ace.

#107 Jon travels the world, meets murderer’s daughter and vampire hunter! Power trio!

#108 “The world’s a stage…” + PETER LUKAS, MY BOY

#109 More of the trio and how they met. Mustermann just needs some quiet lol

#110 creepy spider movie director. Martin finds a way to distract Elias. ALEXIA. YOU GO!

#111 GERRY! NO! Also, there’s 14 fears. This episode is legit one of the most important.

#112 Friends take turns killing one another, and Barisa + Daisy are… friendly

#113 Gertrude knew Adelard, The End avatar, and Martin needs to keep his hands to himself! “TURN IT OFF!” 😰

#114 Hill Top Road cleaner, and we are off to blow a place up! :D

#115 yo. It’s the antique guy. Also, Helen is nothing like Michael… she’s… pure, somehow?

#116 This was the most confusing thing I’ve ever heard. I’m killing Leitner again if Tim dies.

#117 They all give their statements before The Unknowing. Tim… oh, Martin is so gay and Gerard is gone…

#118 I actually cried. Martin, you sweet boy, you don’t deserve this— WHAT IS HAPPENING!? NAH! NOPE!

#119 16 MINUTES OF PURE CONFUSION. I CAN’T EVEN START IMAGINING A SETTING! Kaboom.

#120 Tim is… dead. Lukas is in charge and Jon is in the hospital. (I need to lie down)

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

https://www.tumblr.com/badadadreamworld/763339279770517504/gabby-jojo%E4%BD%A0%E4%BF%A9%E5%B9%B2%E5%95%A5%E5%91%A2-%E5%B0%8F%E7%BA%A2%E4%B9%A6?source=share

lol new adding to your timeline (helping you it was the 9th feb of 2023). They're idiots.

I need to motivate myself to keep going, so thanks for the reminder. Why Gabby even holds her at first and then both go for a slap like keep your hands to yourself🙄.

[agp]

took a peek at sitting/standing to pee discourse and was reminded of something i havent heard mentioned in a long time, and its that urinals use much less water than a toilet per flush. and sure, you have those half flush technologies that reduce water usage, but ime those are not common in public facilities, and afaik generally still use more water than urinals. if we seriously want to reduce our water use we should invest in urinals in womens bathrooms. yeah yeah itll destigmatize people peeing standing up in the womens, whether with an assistive device or not, but what im trying to say is that you dont need to give a shit about trans people, tma or tme, to get invested as a cis woman in the movement to get urinals in womens public bathrooms because it is honestly also an environmental issue.

and honestly a dedicated pissing toilet where there are social rules about not putting in solids, what we call a urinal, doesnt need to be exclusively for standing either. i might be misinformed about how these work but part of the problem with half flush toilets is that they still need to fill the bowl enough to anticipate solids, whereas a urinal can have much less or even no standing water.

the problem is how do you establish that this toilet is different? that its a urinal for peeing only if it also has a seat function? esp if it looks identical to a regular toilet. i think were far away from having those big group urinals where a row of ppl can simultaneously pee into the same long contraption along a wall, so these are also likely to be in the same kind of stall as the regular toilet nextdoor.

ngl as a person who sits to pee 95% of the time i probably hover rather than sit to avoid a cold or public seat more often than i pee standing when there are no facilities. and even then if its not too cold and the space its private enough i do squat sometimes because i might as well get comfy if im here 20 seconds, and sometimes my legs are tired of standing. but unfortunately we live in a world of transmisogynists where peeing standing up is ontologically advantageous and im tired of constantly putting myself in a position that challenges the prejudice of others so squatting to pee is a thing i have plenty incentive to avoid

but i dont think a urinal designed for hovering over and peeing into 'backwards' as opposed to the wall/standing design should be that big a deal in womens public bathrooms. and like i get it some of us have made a whole thing out of castration so i dont want to insist on standing urinals for all. 'just learn to use an stp device' kind of defeats the whole idea of womanhood for some people, cis or trans.

like idk it sucks that my choice as a trans woman in public bathrooms is either half a dozen urinals and like two stalls on one side and twice as many stalls on the other side, which both have their own problems. i had to throw up at a mall recently and ngl i dont wanna have to manage my vocal pitch while im vomitting but then i had to wait forever in the mens room only to be asked why im in the mens while waiting. at a big event where everyone tries to pee at once? all those urinals make the line process so much faster that it isnt considered that strange in my experience for women who really need to go to say fuck it and use the mens. men seeing those massive lines generally get the problem. transmisogyny not being challenged here is also relevant.

womens urinals now lol

[tehb3stsk4t3revr]

Howdy. Exactly what it says on the blog title, I am not gonna subject my mutuals to me posting roblox boys I am way too weak to own this interest publicly

Me:

Call me Kelly! He/Him. (Yeah bet you were probably expecting Kasper huh?)

I am an adult (under 30). This blog is rated T for Teens, I don't post NSFW (can't imagine where I'd find it anyway...) ✌️

I am at peace with sharing a fandom space with kids but if you're a minor uncomfortable with me commenting on your Regretevator art/posts, no prob! Boundaries are good, block if you gotta block!

This blog will mostly be Infected related, with some Lampert, Wallter, and Pest stuff mostly. Depends on what I find that I like?

I reblog random non-regretevator posts that remind me of regretevator. Don't worry about it > 0 >

This will be like 95% reblogs by volume but I do draw and post. Text posts and talking to other users tag is #Dead Guy Chatter, Art Tag is #Haha. I did that

Hi Kelly, Why Did You Reblog 30 Posts From Me Then Fuck Off Into The Sunset?:

I go post by post in the character tags when I'm bored at work, sorry lol

I guarantee that when I'm doing that I'm gonna forget that I already reblogged something and reblog it again like a week later. Take it as a compliment, I guess??? Your art is beautiful thank you for posting it

If I recognize something (or think I recognize it anyway...) that's a #D3j4 Vu r3bl0g. I just felt like reblogging again!

You might've also liked something from me so I backread through your blog until I ran out of attention span :D

You're on my DNI tho???:

It wasn't on purpose. I often forget to look at pinned posts before reblogging, especially if I got to your post from someone else's blog or a character tag. Again, block if it makes you feel better.

Blog Contents & Tagging:

Haiii, I'm A Shipper! ~(￣▽￣)~

I'm tagging Skaterlight with #Mah br41nr0t (I love my brainrot, it's a compliment!)

Partyskater is #P4rteh h4rd!

#The Unpleasant Ship Ever is for whatever the hell it is Jeremy and Unpleasant have going on, it makes me laugh.

Will add more ship specific tags to filter/binge if I need 'em but I don't rn.

I will not tag interactions between characters that seem like they're a non-romantic context. IDC if I or OP ships it. Infected and Lampert standing in the same room is not skaterlight unless they're calling each other pet names or makin' out or something. Exceptions being when I'm tagging my own art for reach.

There's no specific tag for Infected/Lampert vs Kasper/Lampert here; everything is just 'Skaterlight br41nr0t' to me. Happy to be corrected if there is actually a distinction I don't know about tho, I Strongly prefer Kasper/Lampert.

I love things that make me sad! (❁´◡`❁)

Injury tag is #0uch. Includes everything from heavy nosebleeds and vomiting to eye injuries, severe real life symptoms of illness, and cat death (o7 Poptart). I rarely reblog this stuff because I don't enjoy seeing characters I like get hurt, but sometimes the suffering feels In Character, idk.

Emotional Damage tag is #P41N and covers everything from relationship angst to implied offscreen death.

No I'm not tagging jokes about Mark and Wallter being divorced, they're hilarious and also canon lol.

Gross, this guy has boundaries! ( ಠ_ಠ )

Please tell me if someone I reblog from has a sketchy reputation. I'm not super involved in fandom drama and don't keep tabs on every controversy, but I want to be able to investigate for myself.

FleshCousins are a species of critter they're not sapient enough to like. Consent. I'm keeping my distance if you ship that or draw anything weird of one, idc if yours is a person, that is like... A parrot made of sewer hamburgers to me. ✌️😐

I am not proship, please leave me the fuck alone if you're into character relationship dynamics involving SA or other mad nasty stuff like that. There doesn't need to be a fight about it, I'll mind my business if you mind yours, kk?

[cant-get-no-worse]

i know that barça screwed m/ssi over and that his fans have every right to be pissed at that but i can't help but feel that the number of m/ssi fans and the number of barça fans is so disproportionate.

i love him but a part of me didn't want him back because of his fanbase, particularly the ones who hate barça. our youngsters are already under so much pressure and i don't want them being blamed and hated on for not being like the prime teams that m/ssi had in the past.

I believe you're far from being alone in this stance, anon! The sheer number of internet crowd that Ronaldo or Messi can drain is akin to the swifties or other internet phenomenon : it's lot of users that can together act quite dumb. Any crowd existing erases any nuances the people composing them, as individuals, could bring to discussions. I myself consider that what happened in those years is nothing less than disgraceful - from Luis Suarez's treatment and how Neymar's millions have been handled by Bartomeu, to how one of our biggest club legend has been fucked over by the board, and more specifically Laporta - who remains first of all an ex-lawyer and a politician - in an utterly shameful manner. Meanwhile, I believe that Laporta genuinely cares about the club (I might be wrong since as mentionned previously, he's a politician, but being from the city itself and everything, for now I do believe a genuine care to exist, mingled amongst politics, personal ambition and co) and most probably saved it from a dire wreckage ; so there you go.

Essentially 1) indeed that'd have been a problem, esp with the youngsters being more connected online and more susceptible to stumble upon those senseless criticism springing out of twitter 2) the outweight of what he could have brought to the team, being an experienced football player, having grown up within the club and knowing it as well as he does, good relationship with the coach and being the at the level that he is. Thinking specifically about the passes/vision dev. with Pedri, relationship with Gavi whose rage/energy about the club/on the pitch reminds me a lot of young Messi, Yamal, etc.

So yeah, valid thoughts! At the end of the day though it's chill, a done deal : he's not coming back as a player, probably will for a farewell match and later on as a board member, and eventually all that "true culer" vs "solo stan" discourse (it bears repeating that this is a majorly online discussion - cf the chants for him all throughout last part of the season - and that, as we know, the contrast between online and reality is a crude one lol) will mean nothing down the line as time erases those asperities. At the end of the day whenever there's talk about Messi and Barça, I always like to step back and hightlight that beyond the brand the name "Messi" has become and all the anger/frustration/annoyance that can legitimately spring out of culés/others from the massive cult-like following that gravitates around it, there's a guy who, like Iniesta, Xavi, Puyol, Guardiola and other beloved players, came from our very own academy, repeatedly chose to gave said club - not without rocky moments btw, let's not romantize there - 95% of his career/talent, while standing at times surrounded by "prime teams" and at others seemingly utterly alone in shameful XI sides hanging on by a thread. His coming back could've been beneficial on some plans ; it could've been a disaster on others ; and honestly, talking about the multiple issues there comes with being associated to such a worldwide persona and the consequences it has on his relationship with the club/its fans is quite interesting and unique, since it's a phenomenon that I believe spawned from the social media age, and of which the only equivalent to Messi in that cult-following is CR7, who changed clubs quite regularly and didn't forge such a special connection with one. Thus LM10 really seems to be a quite specific case. Messi's stay at Barça was far from being a steady, quiet journey too, and I think it's always healthy to critize it as it's never alright to idolize anyone, as long as the bottom line - which is why I have a slight irk at some self-proclaimed "true culer" - remains : this guy is as much a culer as anyone sitting in the stands or watching on the TV, and for the amount of things he gave that club, probably more.

[piningpercussionist]

(Not an rp ask)

What is your opinion on chau x kim? I'm not a shipper of it myself but I heard it was a proship since knives is 17 but also I saw she was 18 in the comic so I'm not sure where to stand on it honestly. But I'd like to hear your opinion about it !! Sorry if this is a bit of a random ask (ーー;

You're completely fine!! Do not even worry about it.

So, yeah- When Scott first meets Knives, and I'm not entirely sure how much time passes between then and when they start dating, it was *literally* her seventeenth birthday, as I am reminding myself reading back over these panels presently. And then at the start of book six, the first time we see (real, non-dream,) Knives, she has apparently been eighteen for a week!

Now, I'm going to preface with a little something before I go further into this: I am totally fine answering this ask and others like it I think! but, I will note, I do get like a (not fun) physical sensation in my chest- partly anxiety (lol) but also something else I think- thinking about them like 95% of the time- it's gotta be like. Handled The Right Way, if that makes sense. Let's get into it.

So, first off, I'm just gonna re: some of the stuff relative to this I've posted here before- both nonrp and rp, since I use RP to develop my read on Kim and shed some light on how I see things I guess!

These clips come from this ask (and reblog) here!

This rp ask here, which is simply too difficult for me to get in a good screenshot I feel, so I recommend just checking it and the tags for it out- I will share my Bonus Commentary reply though:

This ask as well! Tags less pressing, but still provide a little insight.

And this is probably a dumb inclusion if I really want to make a pseudonym to post fics under, but. I have posted my (very early) thoughts on the SPTO sparks scene to AO3 before, so- (and before going into this- I did remember that Julie and Gideon have that sparks scene after the fact!)

And here's the Barely Anything Lines hinting at the ship that I had in that fic that I used to justify that blurb, while we're here:

I think I've gone over my feelings a little bit in the discord as well, and there might even be more rp stuff relative to it, but I'm not going to go back and get any of that honestly- at least, not right now, or unless requested, since I don't really feel like it's necessary, if it does exist. This gives a pretty good glimpse in I'd say- especially that second to last one there.

So. Yeah.

Used to ship it; have expanded my horizons since then. I don't really want to knock it because like... for some people this is a legitimate life experience for them- one that might have even turned out well, miraculously. And there also a lot of minors in this fandom evidently, so like, any other baby gays out there just wanting to Project for a minute? I feel that. Sincerely I do. It's not the wisest choice but better to read fanfiction about it than go out and actually make out with a 23 year old, Gods forbid. (Genuinely felt sick thinking about that; fucking gross. Any minors out there: Please Make Good Choices. Look out for yourselves. Begging you. There are too many freaks in this world- I promise you whoever you're thinking of probably isn't the magical exception.)

But there are definitely things to consider about them that are very interesting to me, still, so like. I'm in this weird state of conflict; I don't know if it's just me being like "it happened, you can't escape it" or having been desensitized/some sort of Brainwashed by how many times I had to use Knives in the game to quick heal- maybe something else but I just don't feel like flaying myself open like that unprompted for just anyone- but like. Oh man.

Sorry, gathering/writing this that feeling like went away but came circling back for this last bit, it seems. Which makes sense I guess. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a Pyre right now eugh shfsgkjfhjg

I dunno. I'm not gonna lie and pretend like I know it to be some big formative ship for me in my early teen years, but it was kind of important in finally coming around to realizing how queer I was, I think. My memories of the time are fuzzy, but it would have been one of the things- there were likely larger ones, my current obsession could be recoloring my past here so I'm trying to acknowledge that.

But there is like. A dynamic that is posited by them that is also one I'm a really big sucker for. More so now than I was then, so I find myself grinding my teeth about that a fair bit at times.

I definitely still really like it as something unrequited no matter what I think; I like the idea of Knives having a really big crush on Kim, genuinely. I think it's cute and funny as hell for how uncomfortable it would make Kim, who's just trying so hard not to be a fucking creep while this ray of sunshine hangs off her- something she absolutely does not deserve (in her eyes.)

I'm obviously more partial to Kim resisting any advances made at her, but I can understand so, so badly why someone might be attracted to the idea of Knives managing to thaw some of Kim's frigidity with that. Ugh.

If they work for me, I think they'd have to work for me after Knives is gone at college for a bit. Kim would need to know Knives for longer than she knew her as a minor- and they'd have to be FRIENDS in that time, quite strictly. Kim would need to not feel (intensely, because frankly, she would unavoidably feel this way at least a little no matter what,) like she was a fucking groomer going into it, basically. I don't know what I think past that.

You know, I'll put my feelings like this: with the exception of a fic I saw recommended to someone that intrigued me, I have managed to resist reading any/many fics featuring them, despite it being a large majority of the wlw Kim fics that exist, and also kinda just Kim fics generally. It's kind of Insane, especially considering how much Kimona SCREAM at you from the pages of the comic itself- but I digress....

I've been working on this for like over an hour now I think so I really should cut myself off. I am like,, too hungry and mildly stoned to be rambling off about this maybe. If you want more concise/specific thoughts, I recommend prompting! I can try and channel the responses easier with a bit more direction, maybe?

...

actually another thing real quick- I like. Do not know that I could ever feel comfortable, truly, consuming content for them, not knowing if the OP has good intentions. I just Do Not trust people, largely, so that's just like. A little thing. Idk. "Death to the author" or whatever but I am still allowed to feel personally uncomfortable ya know! I don't want them taking my silent observation as like,, passive acceptance in the event that they were. Idk if that makes sense, I need to go eat already, I'm hitting post before i drag this out to TWO hours

[aristocratic-otter]

Hello everyone!

It's killing me that I haven't read your excerpts for the last week; I've been on a course of medicine for all of that time and the side effects are annoying; they leave me unable to sleep and simultaneously unable to focus. So I've got all of your lovely work saved for when I finally recover from my treatment!

But I've got some words to share, so I'll put them out there and thank you all for tagging me:

Thank you to @fatalfangirl, @tea-brigade, @larkral, @j-nipper-95, @nightimedreamersghost, @confused-bi-queer, @moodandmist, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @shrekgogurt, @thewholelemon, @basiltonbutliketheherb, @johnwgrey, @facewithoutheart, @artsyunderstudy, @hushed-chorus, @palimpsessed, and @whatevertheweather

Shares under the break

From my EGF fic, appropriately titled 'Double Your Pleasure,'

Baz closes his eyes and focuses hard on his words. “Double Your Pleasure,” he speaks, and I can feel the hum of his magic in the words. 

There’s a muffled popping noise and a faint odour of brimstone, and suddenly, I’m staring into the startled eyes of…myself?

From Saving Simon Snow:

If the performance of the ritual wasn’t striking, the actual effect of it was, extremely so. The moment I spoke magic into the ritual words, Simon and Baz went rigid. Their hands, clasped for the ceremony, broke apart and they each jumped back and stared. 

“So much pain…” Baz says, almost inaudibly. Then, louder, “How can you bear it, Snow?”

Simultaneously, Simon says, “Why are you feeling so terrified, Baz? You’re the one that forced us into this!”

“Wait…” I look between the two. Simon’s face is shadowed, but I don’t particularly see signs of pain in it. And Basil looks sad, but not scared. How are they—

“You could feel each other?” I stare, aghast, as the puzzle pieces click together in my mind. “How? That’s not part of the spell, is it?”

Just a tease from Westward Son:

I cast “As You Were,” and drop to my knees with a gasp, feeling absolutely drained; magickally, physically and sexually. Simon teeters in place for a moment and then falls to his side without even trying to catch himself.

And a slightly longer tease from Raising Dragons:

Simon’s obedient, fortunately. For him, I mean. I’d rather have enjoyed punishing him for disobedience, actually 

I wriggle my purchase free from its plastic prison and then give it an experimental stretch. It pops back into shape loudly, with a sound like a waistband being snapped. Simon jumps, and I see his eyelids quiver, but he keeps them closed. I smile. Good.

And a longer bit from The White Chapel, which I'm thinking will not be my COTTA after all, because it's almost done, and I'd rather not wait a year to post it, lol. But now I'm thinking of an American Revolution AU, with tory Baz and rebel Simon 😉

Simon looks devastated at my attack, and I feel a pang of regret. But he rallies to answer me, looking so bright and beautiful in his pain and courage. “I don’t know,” he admits softly. “This hasn’t ever happened before. Not in all the centuries I’ve been alive.”

I turn my back to him. I refuse to countenance this lunacy, even if I can’t quite suppress a shiver at the word ‘centuries’. “Well it did happen,” I say, my voice jagged, speaking to the wall in front of me. 

Simon’s response comes as if it’s travelling down a long tunnel to get to me. “I love you, Baz. I’ll love you forever…” His words seem to trail off as his voice becomes more distant. There’s an odd note of finality in it. 

In sudden terror, I spin back to face him. He’s still there, but less than he was before. He’s an outline, a Simon-shape made of glowing light. 

And finally, from my House AU, which now has a title! To Heal a Broken Mind:

We’re silent in the elevator together. Baz does live on the top floor, it turns out. So his flat is probably one of the most expensive here. I scowl. He probably lives in a fucking home of the future, with everything white and sterile and powered by artificial intelligence or something. I don’t think I could bear that kind of atmosphere for sixteen hours a day. Those days I spent in the hospital were miserable enough, and they weren’t helped by the fact that all I had to look at day in and day out were white walls, white sheets, white pillows. White white white. 

So, as if six WIPs weren't enough...I just got an idea for this year's COBB. No teasers, yet, I don't want to give any hints to the potential artists, but it's a genre I've always wanted to try!

Happy mid-week to you all!

Tags and 😘 to everyone linked above and also to @angelsfalling16; @bazzybelle, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @fight-surrender, @giishu, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @frjsti, @jbrrring, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @letraspal, @mostlymaudlin, @otherworldsivelivedin, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @raenestee, @theearlgreymage, @technetiumai, @takitalks, @urban-sith, @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @yellobb-old

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

you said you had like 31 WIPs in your notes app… do you really think you should be asking for people to send in more thoughts/requests? lol

i don’t know if this was meant to be rude or not and maybe i’m being sensitive, but this is rude.

writing is a really fucking hard hobby and yeah, i do have 31 fic ideas/wips in my notes app, plus probably that many more headcanon asks in my inbox. trust me, i want to write them all, i want to write every fucking idea i’ve ever had!

but i can’t. i don’t have the time or the talent or the motivation to write all of that even though i want to. i work a crazy demanding 8-6 and i have other commitments, but writing is my favorite hobby even though it makes me crazy when i can’t get all the ideas out that i want to!

sometimes the ideas have to sit for a bit before i get to them, sometimes i can’t force myself to write something when im not in the mood for it. the brady fic i just posted - all 10.5k of it - was written in spurts of a couple of weeks. i have fics in various states of completion. i’ve written 13k of a knight brady au this month. i’ve written SO FUCKING MUCH this month. i’ve written 150k in andrei fic since march. and in my mind that’s not enough. i want to write more. i wish i could write more.

sometimes i need to focus on a different idea for a bit and if people send in requests or ideas that may spark something for me. i think i’ve been fairly open about struggling with writing lately and trying to get back into posting regularly, but comments like this just do not help because they remind me of how much i’ve got “outstanding” and how many people have asked for things MONTHS AGO that haven’t been written and it makes me feel awful.

honestly i dont even know if this reply makes sense, i don’t know if anything ive written this month makes sense. i’ve hated 95% of the words i put on paper and im really annoyed that i opened this ask and even bothered to reply to it because i was in the flow for another fic and now im just kind of cranky about writing again.

so. yeah. 😐

[lady-harrowhark]

GOOD JOB AND CONGRATS ON THE 10K!!!!!!!!! That’s so so so cool and impressive ! Massive milsestone !! :-0 (genuine)

Don’t know if you’ve already said, but do you have a goal word/chapter count for it?

(Wanted to say good job but scared of actually talking to people; feel free to ignore)

Ahhhh, thank you so much, that's so sweet of you!!!!! This is very much the most ambitious project I've taken on, both in terms of length and complexity. AND I'm on a deadline for the event and getting content to the fantastic artist that working with for the event, @the-purple-duck, which is definitely part of the fun!

I don't really have a set word/chapter count I'm aiming for tbh. I have the whole thing outlined out, and in my head I sort of conceptualize it as roughly four or five sections/acts just based on vibes and story beats, but they aren't necessarily equally long so I couldn't really extrapolate from that, like "Oh, well, the first act is 12k, so times 5 is 60k" or anything.

I suspect the next few acts will be longer, but I also suspect writing them will go faster because I won't be in my own way quite as much - I've been fighting against my tendency to get hung up on accuracy, as the first part is set in a field that I used to work in lol. I keep having to remind myself "It's fic! It doesn't have to be perfectly accurate! And actually, the entire premise is highly implausible so that ship has already sailed!" lol. But within that, I'm waiting to see how the rest of it shapes up before I decide how I'm gonna chunk it up for chapters or whatever, I really haven't been considering that part of it! The first act is also super different from the rest of them in terms of POV and voice and structure, which has been really, really, really fun to play around with, but I also think I have to sort of factor that into how I divvy things up just because I think it's going carry a bit more attentional weight, if that makes sense.

(Also, oh my gosh, I totally get feeling awkward about starting conversations with people so no worries! irl I'm also super nervous about that kind of thing, but for some reason on tumblr I'll just start conversations with anyone lol. Honestly, if I took a poll, probably 95% of the people I talk to on here would be like "idk man, she just showed up in my DMs one day" lmao. So the tl;dr is I get it and if anon is comfy for you that's fab, but also if anyone ever wants to chat, you have my blanket permission to not feel embarrassed about sending me a message out of the blue 🥰)

[bi-lullaby]

Okay so as the one other person who doesn't love Lexie Grey I had to tell you what feels off to me about her characterization - she's framed as this underdog who we should root for and feel a lot of sympathy for, but in reality she's kind of the opposite of an underdog - pretty and brilliant and lovable and extremely well educated from a fairly wealthy family and with gorgeous surgeons (Mark, Jackson etc) in love with her and looked up to by the interns in her class ("queen of the interns") and with a photographic memory that often gives her an advantage even among other intelligent doctors and was (according to Lexie herself in S4) popular in high school and all that. So there's just this gap between how it sems we're supposed to perceive her and how I actually do. It reminds me of an issue I had with Izzie - we're supposed to see her as cheerful, warm, optimistic, compassionate etc but in reality she spent about 95% of her time bitchy, negative, judgmental to the point of extreme insensitivity etc. Thanks for reading!

To be fair, a lot of the times they try and make most characters relatable it tends to fall a little flat without a certain willingness to suspend your disbelief and look at it through very forgiving lens - Like recently with Teddy and Owen’s financial woes? Those world class surgeons and department heads don’t need to squabble over generic vs name-brand, even with massive lawyer fees (unless the implication is that they are horrible with budgeting or you willingly sit down to think and stack up multiple barely-feasible excuses). And one can argue you can have an underdog-y “personality”/ feel left out regardless of how privileged/smart/beautiful you are. But I definitely see and mostly agree with your point! Another example, for me, is how the dynamic with Thatcher ping-pongs between “mean drunk” and “loving dad” depending sorely on what’s necessary for the story - like, people can have conflicting opinions on their parents, ofc, but with Lexie it felt like it was only ever one end of the spectrum with no nuance or remembrance of the other one and less of a “humans are messy” thing, which just made it a little harder for me to connect with her emotions, you know? It plays of of my major issue with the character in that she feel like a sounding board for other’s storylines and less like her own person? Like, her death WRECKED me, I get emotional every time she’s brought up, but it’s because of Meredith, not because of her in her own right. So she’s “underdog-like” when we need to connect with her but had a seemingly perfect childhood to contrast with Meredith’s and she’s sueperultrasmart as a easy plot device but a little naive as another easy plot device for other scenes and it just annoys me a little.

And don’t even get me started with Izzie, lol. Just because I love to be contrarian even with myself, I do think we’re supposed to think of her as being a lovable, warm, cheery person and those moments are supposed to be her “low points” but they just stack up against themselves too intensely in my personal opinion.