#this is last minute on the last day of December
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hiiii! seen a couple of people do this, plus i realized i don't appreciate my mutuals as much as i should. and since the year is ending (literally today), i thought i'd appreciate y'all for a lil bit.
→ if the tagging irritated you, i apologize 🙏🏾. if i missed you, lmk, i was 100% half asleep while making this! (this is actually so embarrassing ngl. but i luv yall 🫶🏾)
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(🎧 : avian) → @sensivs
starting off with my pookie with a beautiful (horny) brain. im dead fucking serious i have zero idea how we became mutuals (🧍🏾♂️). i just remembering talking to you one day, and the we were having full conversations in dms lmaoo. an emoji ring, helios, an unborn baby (??), and multiple fic ideas...now we're at the end of the year. i really appreciate you and all of your chaotic energy, it made me laugh! and all of your prompts are immaculate (🤌🏽). i await the days you post more fics or drabbles so i can support you the way you have me! :) luv u pooks, i def wanna ramble u more about hcs!
→ (i sound like im about to die omg)
(🎧 : snail/seraph) → @flimsyichigo
again, zero fucking idea when we became mutuals (i don't remember shit). we don't talk too often but i be seein you likeing my horrendously down bad and chaotic thoughts...i appreciate you bro (🙏🏾). i love your fluffy blue lock sruff, and your overall vibes are (yes, through the screen) amazing! thank you for dealing with my bullshit.
→ (as i type this, i realize just how many mutuals i have jeez, (half of which i barely talk to but still))
(🎧 : ame) → @pastelclovds
ameeeee, number 1 ive always loved your writing (iterally giggling and kicking my feet as i press the like button). your themes r so fucking gorgeous omg. we don't talk as often, but i love when we do interact. i hope we can more (im just easily embarrassed).
→ (i sound like a teenager leaving a love letter in a locker. omggggg)
(🎧 : ace ) → @acefantasyy
another person who puts up with my horrendously down bad bullshit takes. i applaude you for dealing with my ass lmaoo. but, on another note, i smile when i see you in my notes (no, i didn't originally mean that 2 b a joke). i really appreciate the reply you made when i went on a little break, thank you! i hope you continue to deal me, and i hope we interact more!
→ (i really gotta start talkin 2 yall more)
(🎧 : riri) → @pynkkgeto
we're friends irl. i don't have 2 say shit 4 u (luv uuu 🫶🏾)
(🎧 : rome) → @satocidal
yet another person who delt with my nonsense lol. you're quite busy, so you won't see this for a second. but thank you for being awesome and making me laugh with your naobito jokes. thank for the reply you left when i was the one going on break. hope all goes well for you!
(🎧 : idk ur name TvT) → @infrunamie
i feel so bad omg. but i wanted to appreciate your writing for a sec. whether its a drabble, headcanons, a fic, or just 100 words, your brain is miraculous when you write cuz it always leads to me wanted more. seriously, i love it. i was actually shocked you followed me, literally looked up to your writing ong (🙏🏾). i love it when you show up in my notes even if it's just a like. thank you for your reply when i went on break, trust, all of them got me through those shitty ass exams! ty!
→ (im sure this isn't what my therapist meant by being outgoing but im gunna do ts anyway)
(🎧 : spirit) → @spiritfrvr
literally the best vibes on earth i swear. your blog is like a fluffy hug omg. and (imo), you kinda bring that over to other blogs. i'd really like to talk to you more and ramble about random shit! :)
(🎧 : arlan) → @asuyaka
your drabbles r so cuuutee! i love them so much omg. especially the taking care of suguru one! i was surprised you liked my writing sm, and i love yours the same! i really appreciate the little reply under the break post and the christmas tree! seeing notifs of u makes me smile!
(🎧 : qi) → @yaekiss
i don't think we've been mutuals for too long, but omg we reeally should speak more!! i loved your message on the christmas tree! i love the vibe and look of your blog omg. i hope we can interact more!
(🎧 : juno) → @arlertdarling
hi junooo! ty for the message on my christmas tree, and i agree! we really should interact more! you seem like a realllly cool person, plus im on my fucking knees for your writing, dead serious. hope we can talk more, i hope you have a great 2024!
→ (srsly, y tf do i sound like im moving far away or smth TvT)
(🎧 : najma) → @honeybleed
ilysm ong. number one, we cousins (😔✊🏾; im joking pls help), number two, your theme was downright gorgeous (still is), number three, your writing it delicious. i haven't had too much time lately, buuut, i love how you post content that isn't completely smut (as a smut blog that fails at angst lol). its nice to get a break and see fluffy or angsty stuff in the tags instead of the same repeated material. you know you what you like and you stand firm in what you say (i need 2 b more like u fr), and your overall vibes are amazing! i love seeing your anime takes omg. i hope we can interact more in 2024!
→ (that kinda rhymed...and unrelated, but im listening to the mean girls soundtrack or 4 hours of sleep writing this)
(🎧 : yoru) → @dilfverz
number one, thank you for the messege on my christmas tree. number two, your so cool (😭). i love your themes and your writing, how you interact with ppl and anons is funny lol. literally look up to your writing ngl. i super appreciate your for explaining genshin impact to me, cuz im definitely not playing that damn game lol. your reblogs and likes in my notes make me wanna cry ngl. thank you for being so cool! (🙏🏾)
→ (am i over using emojis? i am so tired omg)
(🎧 : sy) → @wrizzesley
we just became mutuals like a week ago lmaoo. but i love your writing so much. and your themes?!?! (:O). i know damn well that shit is time consuming and exhausting, i applaud you, i could never lol. but anyway, i hope we can interact more in this new year. i think your really cool!
(🎧 : astro? idk im so sorry) → @astroknottt
i love your writing holy fuck. but other than that, i love it when you reblog my stuff! esp with those little comments, they've given me a bunch of motivation. and seeing you write such toe curling shit, that gives me motivation too! hope we can interact some more in the new year!
→ (pls ignore my silent pleas for help in these notes, but my vision is wonky. i promise im going to sleep in a second)
(🎧 : ) → @naee0
your probably locked out of tumblr again lol. but if you see this, thank you for your chaotic energy! and even if it was one sentence, what you sent on thr break post, i really appreciate it! even if you or me aren't on tumblr much, i hope we can interact a bit more! you're pretty cool! and i loved those drabbles. i hope your doing great!
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PRODUCER MESSEGE: "i think that was all. again, if i missed you, please lmk. i might have been blind (my eyes prolly look like that squidward meme). but i appreciate all of you! thank you, and pls dont hate me 🙏🏾"
#🎧 → 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌: FEATURED#mutual appreciation#this is last minute on the last day of December#but i cant wait for the new year!#i love my mooties sm!#ive discovered things about myself while writing this#omg y the hell am i so nervous?!?!#fuck social anxiety#i just appreciate yall
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charlie ily and i so appreciate your irish luck but unfortunately it has not worked bc i am STILL HERE! it's almost 5pm! and i might have to come back!
(im so sorry to complain in your inbox im just shuffling around in a hallway Waiting so ive come to bug you lol)
UGH that sucks I'm so sorry D: Waiting around for stuff is an absolute nightmare, I really really hope you don't get picked and can go home. Here lemme try and concentrate my irish beams
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#Ask#infiniteseriesofhalfways#No worries you're always welcome in my inbox!!#Sorry the luck is not reaching you#I'm only irish by technicality so it's not pure 😔#Dude I got called for jury duty for the first time like last year in december#And it was basically like call this number every night after 5pm to see if you have to come in the next day#Which was a nightmare for my boss because having to call out last minute during christmas rush is awful#But I got so so lucky and never had to go in#So I'm trying to force you to inherit that#I'm gonna visit the courthouse like the ghost of christmas past and warn them not to pick you
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You know what, the truly insane sleep token fans must all be on youtube music, because I spent 27,000 minutes listening to them on spotify which put me in the top 0.05% and nearly 44,000 minutes listening to them on ytm and I'm only in the top 1% lmao
#rae.txt#but also 27k minutes of sleep token out of 39k total minutes listening to spotify....... lmao#at least on youtube it was about half. 44k/89k#to be fair spotify seems to include december of last year in with this years wrapped#and december was when i got REALLY insane about sleep token and listened to LITERALLY nothing else#like *literally* literally. had their discography on shuffle 8 hours a day at work and often at home as well#if my bf had his phone hooked up to the bluetooth in the car it drove me crazy to listen to anything else#it was Bad#i do now frequently listen to other bands lol
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Don't know if there's a annual contest for shitty father of the year (and if there isn't, there certainly should be), but I need to throw in what I think is a strong contender: my dad, for blaming my mom and I for "throwing [my brother] out of the house and making him move to Greece forever" when what actually happened was my brother was a drug addict who lied to us for over a year about everything, didn't pay a dollar towards the household bills and owes us over five grand, and then committed a crime and was offered the opportunity to go to rehab on my dime or leave the house because of *hand waves* all of the above so, uh, predictably, he chose to move out for a month before coming back, pretending he would go to rehab, staying for another two weeks, and then going on vacation to Greece, paid for my father because again *hand waves all of the above* and from which he decided not to return because he knows he would have to go to rehab if he actually wanted to live here again.
Not entirely sure what part of that qualifies as "my fault" (and genuinely none of it was my mom's; she bent over backward trying to help my brother at every turn and is over here crying about him not being home while I hope to never see him again) but, you know, somehow I always end up being the bad guy in my family for [checks notes] being responsible, forcing others to be accountable for their actions, and paying all the bills so we can continue to have house, so what do I know!
#when I tell you this man fucked up the month of december last year by being a pissant baby about everything#and has now ruined this one six days in with this bullshit#i am genuinely about to square up with a 78 year old and also probably not speak to him until he goes back to greece in february#oooh i thought i was done being mad about this situation and it turns out i am Not#real life#personal#drug addiction#please don't reblog i will probably delete later but needed to vent for a minute
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linesssss. done. i believe..... i can do it.............
#leologisms#i was gonna say something about not experiencing the thrill of rushing a characters birthday art last minute lately but#actually ive been doing a lot* this year. hit the hijikata and zura days..................#and ginsan i THINK!!!! i can do.#which i guess means im obligated to try really hard to kagamine this december............. its been a while since i did a proper one
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#and after one last day of work (and a nearly 14 hour one bc people just love to leave things until last minute)#i just shut off my laptop and it’s not getting turned back on again until mid january#almost 7 glorious weeks of vacation to enjoy december and christmas 🥰#and i’m leaving for my dream trip in 6 days!#i’m so excited!#i’m having a cuddle with noodle (more like he’s kinda crushing me but it still counts lol)#and we’re about to go to bed because i’m sleepy#but i’m so happy i decided to take time off#also i’m so excited for advent season to start tomorrow#truly my favourite time of year#anyways rambling again good night <3
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3d printed a bailu :3 next step is paint her
#hsr#wip#bailu#3d printing#honkai star rail#printed 2 of them. one for me and a friend. we're plannimg to paint together when she visits in december :D#model made by chuyafactory#took like 15 minutes to get her to stay together without glue#it lasted like 30 seconds before she fell over#planning to reopen an art shop and include 3d printed figures fully painted#warning tho they wont be cheap. they cost a lot to make and take many hours and days and weeks to complete
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i completely forgot that my own copy of the communist manifesto includes historical artwork to illustrate the ideas and talking points with artwork
obviously reading material it’s not necessary at all but i just think it’s neat that the copy 16 year old me found at a half price books happened to be this one
#also my copy includes engels afterwords from many different editions#so like gay lol marx/engels yaoi much???#bluebell talks#i remember specifically it was december 2021#and my sister and i were doing last minute christmas shopping#and we stopped at half price books and there was just a whole pile of these lol#one was also on a little display too so they weren’t hiding it#so whoever was running that half price books or set that shelf up#comrade????????!?!?!?#though i need to get more reading material on my hands#this is still my only physical copy of something and i personally think i work#better when stuff like this is on print but that is just me#das kapital scares me 😭😭😭 it looks like a lot but one day i will hopefully get to it#i need to also read up on also more modern stuff beyond marx/engels/lenin/etc#btw edit it’s not my only ever copy of a book but more so reading material on communism and stuff
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MY MUM JUST BOUGHT ME AND HER TICKETS TO SEE SIX?? UNPROMPTED???? SHE IS THE MOST CONFUSING WOMAN ALIVE??????? BUT YAAAAAYYYY
#she hates me but also doesnt but also does but not quite but does but doesnt but#see i have a worse relationship with my father but its so much easier because hes just an absolute bastard all round#my mothers flip flopping every day calling me an ungrateful waste of money one minute then buying me six tickets the next like??#what am i meant to do about that???#anywayz SIX TICKETS WOO FUCKING LOVE SIX#I WAS MEANT TO SEE IT RIGHT BEFORE COVID HIT AND I JUST HAVENT COME ACROSS IT SINCE#SHE SAW IT AND JUST BOOKED THE TICKETS FOR NEXT YEAR IM LIKE SO EXCITED#fr though why is she being so nice to be its kind of frightening#i think its because i had that breakdown in front of her before#she hasnt told me to get a job since then either#you guys dont understand how big of a deal that is#she always finds a way to tell me to get a job#anywayz everyone thank my mum for being a great mum <3#for the moment as least#dont want to jinx it#maybe marrying my step dad last month changed her psychologically#omg maybe shes started therapy#am a little afraid because im in the process of starting testosterone (yay!) but havent told her and i should be on it by december so uh#its gonna be obvious by the time we go to see it#so im *scared*#she may very well take the tickets away but LETS HOPE NOT#im so sorry ive written an essay in the tags lmfao#mummy issues#mummy issues going wild fr
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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i really like the new theme. its chrismis time 🔥
YEEAAHHH christma🔥🔥🔥
#u have no CLUE how big of a deal christmas is in my family.#xmas shopping starts in like. september. and all year my parents are like Christmas Is Coming! every time i ask them to buy me smth#we basically spend all of november hyping ourselves up and sometimes my mom brings the decorations inside in the#middle of the month#and we'll take an entire day to just decorate the house and play christmas music#every night in december my mom reads a different xmas story to my siblings and i. yeah its childish but its a tradition#[ which i started btw ]#putting the tree up is an all-day thing. mostly bc we cut our own trees so we have to go to the back forest and pick one which takes#a while lol#and all of this leads up to The Big Night. ie christmas eve#in which my mom tends to spend all day baking cookies [ which she does like every day for the whole month. i forgot to mention ]#and my siblings and i either do fuckall or get some last-minute xmas day prep done. ie wrapping the last of the gifts or smth#and then in the evening my mom puts out some appetizers [ ie little slices of salami. sliced vegetables. stuff like that ]#usually we also watch a movie around this time. last year it was national lampoons christmas vacation [ which is a great film btw ]#and then we all sit on my parents' bed and my mom reads ' the night before christmas ' to us. as is tradition#we always put out cookies and milk for santa like most ppl. but also carrots for the reindeer and candy canes for mrs claus :]#theres a bunch more stuff but i dont wanna talk TOO much lol. feel free to ask tho !!#asks#friend tag :]
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Cannot exactly relate, but. Hooray for you (though he still was a dick for rbing reposted art)? You have found some point of connection in that art and that's always cool.
#anonymous#OOOOOOOOOOOH sorry it took me a minute to get there#yeah i was upset for quite a while but he honestly retweets reposted art quite a lot when you realize#not the first time and wouldn't be the last which is honestly the worst#in the grand scheme i believe twt doesn't matter#it's just the sting of feeling ignored for a reposter#but ultimately i can't care because he has been looking at my art since last december anyways#and EVEN retweeted non-DS art which i'm still shocked by#even retweeted two drawings in the same day too just it's fine it's really fine#but the reposting sucks tremendously#he did say in his book twt ultimately doesn't matter and that's the way to connect to his fans though which is great#it's fine just knowing he likes samhiggs as much as us like damn.
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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow
#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment#I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR#and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say#it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me#and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is#all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school#and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you#everyone keeps calling out of work#we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year#and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB#(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time#and I act like I’m not but I am#this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it#when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking#I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today#I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons#I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to#I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7#and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am#he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me#tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers
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Ok turned in my port assignment. I'm abt an hour late on the submission but I'm going to hope she just doesn't care + I apologized in my email soooooo I think we're good. She's going through it atm anyways so I'm hoping the flexibility goes both ways and whatnot. That said I did ask for a 1 day extension on the last writing assgmt too back in early November so she could be justified in taking off points but like why would she pleaseeee Rachel nooooo. I did write my email in English though so maybe I need to die for that idk
I guess we'll see but it'll be fine. Besides we had a quiz earlier, the writing activity due tonight and an exam Friday just in this class like I think we can let 50 minutes slide here
#name changed obvi but yeah#planned a fake vacation and now im jealous i dont get to take it#what do you meannnn i dont get to go to brazil w my best friend and go to a bunch of cool museums and restaurants and learn abt brazilian#history and afro brazilian culture 😭#b- but i googled the flights and the hotel and planned out all the destinations 😭😭😭😭#rip but yay thats done#also the new dcu starts today im SOOOOOOOOO excited#just checked to see if the new episodes would be out yet bc its 1am but they dont release until 3 bc of the west coast (ewwwww be better)#and im not staying up for that sorry#i would but i have a 10am and theyre like 20 mins episodes i can just do it after class bc tmrw is my short day#also prof patel (NOT her name but im putting her in the patel cartel here for shits and gigs) STILL has not graded any of our essays in my#science class lol. GIRL ITS DECEMBER IVE WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF WORDS FOR YOU#she just put out a bitchy canvas announcement abt it too telling ppl to stop emailing her abt it lol#shes such a hater but sometimes you have to respect it tbh. the grading thing is killing me though. its her fault for making like 4 longass#writing assignments (w sources required) in a lecture hall class but like. i could be failing and couldnt even know#i mean im not bc youd think id know from my work but yeahh#if we get into the start of next week and nothings still graded im going to take a screenshot w the date to lodge a protest if she bombs me#last minute (bc i too can be bitchy ive decided) but idt that will be necessary at all bc i put the effort in
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so. as you may know it’s christmas eve. as you probably don’t know i am eastern european. and probably the only real tradition anyone holds onto is christmas eve. normally my great aunt does all the food and very begrudgingly sometimes lets everyone help make like. one thing.
well.
this year. the year of our lord two thousand and twenty four. she decided she was done cooking and it was up to everyone else.
so i got a phone call from my mom a few weeks ago being like hey so. you’re making the cake. got it? good.
the cake in question is a walnut cake. i was entrusted with my great aunts recipe about seven years ago. i’ve made it twice. the first time i fucked up the frosting quantity. the second time i fucked up the eggs. both times were passable at best and notably! my great aunt did not taste either of them.
and i have to make this cake. on christmas eve. it is dessert. for everyone. my extended family will all be eating the cake. the walnut cake. on christmas eve. even my great aunt.
so yesterday, december 23 if you are counting, i went on the annual Last Minute Christmas Food Shopping Trip with my father, watched him climb into the case to get his half and half like he does every year, and stressed about my cake as i made sure i had all of the ingredients.
then. we went to my great aunts house. where i was met with Trial Number 1: The Cognac
this cake has cognac in the frosting. not a big deal really. except for the fact that my mom hates that there is cognac in the frosting. (my mom is hell bent on making christmas eve dinner vaguely healthier. no one else agrees.) and i was to be making the cake in my moms house.
also important to note: we (as in my parents) do not own cognac. mostly because none of us drink.
so my great aunt is like oh i have to give you the cognac. cause she knows. i am baking the cake. the walnut cake. (my dad told her. he is a traitor). and i say okay. sure. this won’t be a problem at all.
so she gives me. a shot of cognac. and when i say a shot. i mean an Entirely Full Shot Glass of Three Hundred Dollar Cognac. in a jar. for the cake. the walnut cake. that i have to make.
upon bringing the cognac home my mom says no we’re not putting that in. the cognac sits on the counter in its jar. no one touches it.
then i was met with Trial Number 2: The Frosting.
this recipe requires a pound of chopped walnuts. first. i couldn’t even find the walnuts. my sister and i searched high and low and in every cabinet we could find but no nuts. i called my mom. and said mom where are the walnuts? and she said. “they’re in the nut bag behind the basement door.”
oh of course. how could i have missed the nut bag? a holiday bag full of bags of nuts that was half hidden by wrapping paper and also behind a door?
in any case. could i have used a food processor? absolutely. did i? no. half because i forgot and half because i didn’t want to accidentally grind the walnuts into a paste. so i enlisted the help of my younger sister to chop the walnuts By Hand while i embarked on the real devil: the frosting.
which remember. is supposed to have cognac.
so i cream my butter. i add my sugar. i’m careful not to over sugar. i taste it a million times. i add my coffee and my vanilla extract (instead of cognac. which is still sitting on the counter) and it was all going so well until. the butter rebelled.
now remember. one time when i made this. seven years ago. i made too little frosting. so i made more this time. and i thought i had all my conversions right but evidently i did not because suddenly there was too much liquid in my frosting and it split.
the frosting for the walnut cake that everyone was going to eat. on christmas eve. the very next day.
i felt like a contestant on great british bake-off getting smited by the tent.
so i did the logical thing and shoved the whole mess into the fridge hoping that it would sort itself out overnight.
then it was time to face Trial Number Three: The Cake Itself.
as i have said this cake is a walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake that has been at christmas eve longer than i have been alive. and it requires no less than ten egg whites. which i whipped and i added to my walnuts and shoved the whole thing into the oven in my two baking dishes.
only to discover no less than 40 minutes later that the batter in the pans was Not Even (despite my best efforts). so i cooked one longer than the other and hoped that i hadn’t monumentally fucked up the walnut cake. like i had the frosting. which was in the fridge. and i was ignoring.
which leads to Trial Number Four: The Egg Yolk Cake
see i had ten egg yolks. i didn’t know what to do with them. my mom said flush them. my dad said make a custard. i proposed making egg nog. my mom said she didn’t want it in the house cause it was too fattening (a blatantly incorrect statement. please, if you are reading this, go drink a glass of eggnog. or some other fun festive drink. food is for the soul.) so i produced a recipe for an egg yolk pound cake. i made it. i still don’t know if it came out good cause i haven’t tasted it. i hope it did. but that was not the point. the point is the walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake.
and the following morning i was met with Trial Number Five: The Frosting Part 2
first i threw my failed frosting back in the mixer and it immediately secreted a brackish combination of vanilla extract and coffee so i did the only thing i could. facetimed my dad and said “father there are problems abound.” and he gave me the fatherly advice of “make it again.”
and so i did.
with more correct measurements. still scared it would split at any second.
though it didn’t.
and i didn’t add the cognac.
maybe no one will be able to tell???
my mom said that if anyone asks the first batch of frosting failed and i had to toss it. this is technically true.
but i had frosting. i had two uneven cakes. and it was time for Trial Number Six: Decorating
decorating cakes is easily in my top ten least favorite activities. decorating the christmas eve walnut cake is easily in my top three least favorite activities. because i am terrible at decorating cakes. and also because it has a filling.
the filling is jam. and i once again made the wrong choice because i put the jam on first before the frosting. which to be fair is what the directions say. but as everyone knows, the directions in recipes you get from your eastern european great aunt are not the real directions. so now i had to smear butter cream. on top of jam. for the filling of the walnut cake. for christmas eve. that we would be eating in a few hours.
and we didn’t have a cake plate. we had a large dish.
i had to use my fingers. i had to use three spatulas. i got jam everywhere. but i did it. and as soon as i set the top cake on top of the filling i realized my monumental mistake: i was supposed to trim down the cakes.
so now they were uneven. and lopsided. and there was nothing i, a mere mortal tasked with the impossible task of making christmas eve walnut cake, could do about it.
so i continued to spread my frosting. which i had enough of. and tried and failed to not get jam everywhere.
in the end it was almost presentable. not great. slightly lopsided. and definitely not as nice as any of my great aunts cakes.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/50f9f813b4d474d149678e5284baf130/839b7bd1b908127a-58/s540x810/16a5637f34c74bc08a8390589a0d1bb1a4663cb2.jpg)
which left me with Trial Number 7: Chilling It
our fridge was being taken up by other important christmas eve things (though not as important as my cake. the walnut cake) so i had to put it in the car. which was fine because there is snow on the ground.
i covered my cake. the walnut cake. in tin foil and hoped i wouldn’t accidentally squish it. and then i went outside. i tried to steal my moms shoes to walk outside. she was not impressed.
“you know, saph,” she said. “some of the time you’re pretty great. the other half of the time you’re really weird.”
i could not agree more.
i put my cake on the trunk. prayed to the cake gods and went inside.
on the one hand if the cake is good, i will be stuck making walnut cake for christmas eve for the rest of my life. on the other hand, if it sucks i will never have to make another one.
Trial Number Eight: The Tasting still waits.
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