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nataliescatorccioapologist · 2 months ago

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Everything we know about Yellowjackets Season 3 so far (and some theories)…

Please feel free to add on if I missed anything in a comment or reblog!

Filming schedule and potential release date

Yellowjackets Season 3 filming began on May 14th and will wrap up on October 24th. They are filming primarily in Vancouver, Canada.

According to an article from Deadline, Season 3 will not be released until “early 2025.” However, if we look at the filming to release date patterns for Seasons 1 and 2, we could potentially get Season 3 a bit earlier or, at the very least, in very early 2025. Season 1 wrapped filming in September 2021 and started airing episodes in November 2021. Similarly, Season 2 ended filming in February 2023 and started airing in March 2023. So, feasibly, we could get Season 3 any time from December 2024 to February 2025🤞

There will be a time skip in the teen timeline (and possibly the adult timeline)

So, as many of us know, official Yellowjackets social media accounts posted these behind the scenes photos for the first day of filming Season 3 on May 14th:

These photos are for the filming of 3x01, and they show that the girls are clearly not struggling to survive the winter anymore. There is no snow on the ground and everything is green and growing, indicating that it is now Spring in the teen timeline. A short video of the Yellowjackets theme song with clips of flowers growing interspersed throughout it was also posted on the Yellowjackets social media accounts, supporting that Season 3 takes place in the Spring.

We see some makeshift shelters made of wood in the background of these photos, as well, so it looks like there will be a time skip to when the girls have started to build a new civilization for themselves. It is unclear if we’ll see any scenes immediately following the cabin burning down, or if they’re just going to plop the viewers down a few months later in Spring. I’m hoping they explain how they got to this point at least a little bit, though! Even if it’s just through flashbacks. Season 2 did start us off 2 months after Jackie’s death, though, and we never really got to see any scenes of the immediate aftermath of that.

And there may be a time skip in adult timeline, as well. Someone on Twitter (can’t remember their username, please share if you know!) shared this photo of a Yellowjackets filming site:

The photo shows a poster for an art museum exhibit taking place at the end of 2023. The Twitter user said that the bus stop and poster shown here were built by the Yellowjackets crew and were taken down when the filming wrapped at this location, which means this poster was created specifically for the show. Also, this exhibit doesn’t exist in real life and that photo is a stock image. This implies that there will be a 2 year time skip in the adult timeline, as Seasons 1 and 2 took place in 2021. Once again, I hope they show us some of the immediate aftermath of the Season 2 finale and don’t just skip over it! I want to see how the survivors handle Nat’s death!

Walter is back, the actress for Gen was replaced, Nat’s hair is grown out! (finally), and Nat still wears Jackie’s heart necklace in Season 3…

Yellowjackets also posted a behind the scenes video of their first day of filming Season 3:

Walter is back for Season 3 as Elijah Wood states in the video. Many of the other cast members are shown as well, (Jasmin, Sammi, both Sophies, Courtney, etc.) all of whom we expected to return.

But one person that is absent from this video is Mya Lowe, the actress that played Gen in Season 2. Mya appears to have left Yellowjackets in pursuit of a Netflix show she is filming right now, and therefore she has been replaced by actress Vanessa Prasad, whom we can briefly see in this video.

We can also see that Nat’s roots are finally growing out! And Jackie’s gold heart necklace that Shauna placed around her neck before the hunt scene in 2x08 is still on her! Which might mean the heart necklace now serves as a symbol of her leadership (at least until it gets placed on Pit Girl’s neck).

Ella Purnell’s possible return

There have been quite a few clues that Ella Purnell, who played Jackie Taylor, may be returning for Season 3 despite the death of her character.

First, this photo was posted to Instagram, which shows Ella Purnell in Vancouver during Yellowjackets filming dates:

Yellowjackets does film in Vancouver, and Ella Purnell didn’t really have any excuse for being there at the time. Her time there would definitely align with the Yellowjackets filming schedule.

Also, Ella posted a picture of herself in a filming trailer that looks identical to the filming trailers used on the Yellowjackets set, as we can see in this photo of Sophie Nelisse (young Shauna) in her trailer:

Literally identical (look at the lights, the cabinets, the microwave!) Could the “new project” Ella is referring to be Yellowjackets Season 3?

Lastly, we have this IMDb screenshot for 3x03, which lists a person playing Ella Purnell’s stunt double:

This could be an error on IMDb’s part but with all of the other clues it’s looking like Jackie might make a Season 3 appearance! She could be appearing as a ghost/hallucination again like she did in Season 2, or we might be getting some pre-crash scenes! Especially considering that there’s a stunt double needed, maybe we’ll get pre-crash soccer scenes?

Adult Taivan scenes!!

Reddit user galaxyvixen claimed to be an extra on Season 3 of Yellowjackets and posted these behind the scenes photos:

It appears that adult Van and Tai are going to see Kill Bill together in this scene, and they look pretty cozy together (look how close their hands are!) so I think it's very likely that we'll see a romantic reunion plot line between adult Van and Tai this season. Also interesting to note, the Reddit user who posted these photos captioned them "Columbia St, New Westminster B.C. Can't wait for December!"

What do they mean by December???? Could that be the release date for Season 3? The original poster never really explained this and has now deleted this post. Take the December information with a grain of salt, though, because I highly doubt that the crew would tell an extra on set a highly secretive release date.

Jennifer Morrison Directing (and BTS adult Lottie shots!)

Jennifer Morrison (known for playing Emma Swan on Once Upon a Time) has been confirmed to be directing at least one Season 3 episode (but maybe two?) She posted a confirmation to her IG story and some BTS photos and videos of her directing Simone Kessell (AKA adult Lottie) were released.

Notice how Lottie's jacket here is so similar to the one she wears in the Wilderness! Also, she is exiting what appears to be a government building called "Atlantic Coast Trust." Maybe she's settling her father's estate? Maybe it has something to do with her getting out of the psychiatric hospital? Maybe she was summoned to court for some reason?

The bonus episode

Both the cast and writers have confirmed that there will be a bonus episode in between Seasons 2 and 3 to make up for the fact that Season 2 only had 9 episodes. Ashley Lyle, a show runner and writer, has said this bonus episode will release "closer to S3." The episode has already been filmed and features Melanie Lynskey's husband, Jason Ritter. Sophie Nelisse has said that she and the rest of the main cast were not present for filming, indicating that none of the main characters will be in this episode. Some photos from the set of this bonus episode were released:

These show Jason Ritter holding a baby, and he is wearing the plaid coat that the girls found on Cabin Guy's body in the attic. The cabin also appears to be in the background. Because of these photos, many people think the bonus episode will be about Cabin Guy. We got an interesting piece of information from a deleted scene in the script of 2x07:

The letter Van finds in this episode seems to have been written by Cabin Guy's wife or Cabin Guy himself. It mentions a baby, possibly the baby seen in the leaked photos. Bear with me here, but I think that this baby could potentially still be alive and could actually be the "friend" that kept Javi alive during the winter. She may have run away after something bad went down with her father, and found refuge in the tree stump all these years. She could be a teenager like the rest of them now and could be responsible for moving Crystal's body. Maybe the bonus episode will reveal this? Either way, I do think there is a good chance that the bonus episode will be centered around Cabin Guy. I think the episode could be released around Halloween or maybe in December around Christmas.

The FBI is involved?

Someone found a Yellowjackets filming location at Trout Lake and snapped a photo of the set:

The photo shows an FBI truck on the set. Could this be a post-rescue scene? Or perhaps the FBI has launched an investigation into the deaths of Adam Martin, Kevyn Tan, and Natalie in the adult timeline? Either way this photo has me excited.

More behind the scenes photos

Sophie Nelisse posted (and promptly deleted) this photo on her story. It looks like we'll be getting a scene of Shauna in the lake. Many people have said that the other girl in the white dress is Courtney Eaton, so Lottie may be involved in this scene too (and possibly wearing Laura Lee's night gown?) As much as I would love this to be a Shauna baptism scene, I just can't fully tell if that's Courtney or not.

And then we also have these set photos posted by Sammi Hanratty which have also now been deleted. They show some pretty impressive wooden huts and structures in the background, showing that the girls are really building their own little society out in the Wilderness. I also love the detail of the airplane seat placed by the firewood.

Joel McHale

Yellowjackets posted on all of their social medias recently that Joel McHale (Community, The Bear) will play a new recurring character in Season 3. Some people are speculating that he may be playing an older Paul (Coach Ben’s boyfriend), and I do see the resemblance and would personally love that.

Interviews

Christina Ricci had this to say about Yellowjackets Season 3:

And Ashley Lyle said the girls are "thriving" in Season 3 in the teen timeline and stated that Season 3 is a "return to Season 1" in terms of vibes and general atmosphere.

Overall, I am so so excited and they need to hurry the fuck up with this season! I literally cannot wait any longer. Here's to hoping that we'll at least get a release date confirmed soon...

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new-holocene · 9 days ago

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ode to abandoned projects

normally i dedicate my public facing social media accounts solely to sharing my finished artwork, but I figure some reflection on the past few years of my development as an artist would be worthwhile. I was initially trying to find an old gmod map I made (I didn't find it), and in the process I found a number of screenshots of WIPs spanning the past 7 years. for many of these projects, they were abandoned because I got too busy with school/university.

from march 2017. made in unity. I don't remember the specifics of this project. I think I was trying to make a short narrative walking sim.

from december 2017. I wanted to make a short smw romhack. I remember drawing level designs on a spare piece of paper after finishing a secondary school exam early. one day I'll make a romhack, one day...

from may 2018. I had just replayed marble blast ultra after finding it had a PC port. shortly after I found all the textures were just in the game files and could be modified easily. myself and an old friend wanted to make a 'games repainted'-esque mod. I claim full credit for every marble game since that's included a 🤔marble skin.

from march 2020. a mockup of a piece I was calling 'alignment chart' for the first time I had ever applied for a bursary. this used a mixture of generative art pieces i made in processing and graphic design. this piece is interesting to look back on because it marked the development of my art style for the first time, and the psuedo-cuneiform generator ended up being a recurring feature of my art. my application was rejected because i did not read the terms and conditions to realise it wasn't open to university students - and I was still studying computer science at the time.

from may 2020. I was aiming to participate in the low res game jam but never got to finish due to university work taking up my time. I never fleshed out the mechanics of the game, but the goal was to take care of the tree in the center of the map. it doesn't look like much, but I really pushed myself (or rather, tortured myself) by not using a game engine and writing this in C++ with raylib instead.

from april 2020. this was going to be a browser based demake of five nights at freddy's (a game I've never played and have no interest in) titled "five years at yanderedev's". I figured that it felt too close to participating in lolcowing someone and that it was in bad spirits, so I scrapped it.

from september 2020. a mockup of my homepage sharpfourth.net. I kept the logo and general layout for whats on the site currently, but didn't include the scanner warped images.

from october 2020. I wanted to make a walking sim in the quake engine, but once again, university work got in the way. however, this got me familiar with the basics of using trenchbroom (a map editor for quake), which came in very, very handy for later projects.

from october 2021. myself and some close friends had planned to make a zine detailing how to do DIY feminising HRT in Ireland (and maybe the UK). we never got around to writing it (partly because we feared potential legal repercussions for disseminating medical advice lol), but this marked a further development of my art style.

youtube

from october 2021. I had hoped to make a first person RPG in godot. once again scrapped because I got too busy with uni. I spent ages trying to implement a wonky movement system that could be exploited, being inspired by bhopping from source or strafe jumping from quake. the dialogue system was the last thing I worked on. I used trenchbroom again - this time with qodot - for making the prototype map. while making this demo, I realised the potential use of godot and trenchbroom in visual art, something i would revisit during my first gallery residency.

from march 2022. this might be the most unassuming piece in this collection, but it marks a significant turning point in my life. I was tasked with making diagrams for a group project in uni, but given that I was facing extreme burnout and apathy towards the course, I instead "doodled" with the elements of the diagram. this spiraled into me writing my zine/short-story EATARTHU, which I then used to apply for a gallery residency. I was fortunate enough to get the residency, and I dropped out of college to pursue art.

as discouraging as it might be to constantly start and abandon projects, it's important to stop and remember that ever single abandoned game or drawing or album or whatever marked a chance for you to learn and develop as an artist. one day you might very well finish a project, and it'll reflect a bit of every single abandoned one of its precursors.

#graphic design #gamedev #godot #trenchbroom #quake #unity #raylib #artists on tumblr #super mario world #lunar magic #affinity designer #processing #typography #zine #Youtube #new_holocene blog

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starhvney · 5 months ago

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hey! 🔮 anon here, again lmfao i came up with a time period (with specific dates): phoenix drop high | 2008 — 2012 falcon claw university | 2012 — 2016 "the big move" | may 10th, 2018 — may 14th, 2019 mystreet | may 20th, 2018 — april 4th, 2019 love~love paradise | june 30, 2019 — july 7th, 2019 lover’s lane | september 8th, 2019 — november 2nd, 2019 holiday special | december 23rd, 2019 — december 25th, 2019 new years party | december 31st, 2019 — january 1st, 2020 post-lover’s lane | january 2nd, 2020 — january 20th, 2020 emerald secret | january 20th, 2020 — january 27, 2020 aphmau’s year | march 4th, 2020 — june 28th, 2021 starlight | july 29th, 2021 — july 19th, 2021 when angels fall | august 2nd, 2021 — august 5th, 2021 you helped a lot, of course, with the years you gave me! these are just headcanons and until jess actually reveals the dates, so i'm just going to go with these when i do decide to write. they might not make sense?? it's only been two hours of me spiralling lol

ooh, i really like this! it makes sense to me! i think putting dates to everything helps me personally with remembering the order of the lore and everything,, otherwise it gets all muddled in my head >.<

#☆ star's inbox!#aphblr #aphmau #mystreet #🔮 anon

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wubbowrites · 4 months ago

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signs

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog

Relationship: Sonic/Shadow

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: Minor swearing (in sign language)

AO3 Link

Sonic discovers that Shadow was taught sign language during his time on the ARK.

Written for Sonadow Week hosted by @starlightzonee on Twitter. Uses the prompt, “Silence”.

(A/N: This was originally posted in December 2021 for a Sonadow week I found on Twitter! I remembered that back then, someone had posted a rec of it on Tumblr that got some notes, so I decided I’d cross post it myself if people here liked it ^_^ Not sure how many other older fics I’ll post here, we’ll see how I feel)

(ALSO the method of writing the sign language here is describing the hand motions. Translations of them are at the end of the fic)

As Shadow complained about his last mission with Rouge, Sonic noticed his hand motions.

It was unusual for Shadow to be so expressive when he spoke…At least, Sonic thought it was. It was only recently that the two became close enough to have casual conversations like this. Sonic wondered: Did he always move his hands this much when he talked with Rouge and Omega, for example? Did he only do it when he was frustrated like this, or did he do it during other heightened emotions too? Why did the motions seem so…specific? Practiced?

It suddenly clicked.

“Shadow?”

Shadow bristled at being interrupted. “What?”

“Do you…know sign language?”

He blinked. “Where did that come from?”

“You’ve been moving your hands around this whole time! I thought it was- Wait, did you not even notice?” Sonic asked.

Shadow looked down at his hands. He shook them a bit, pointedly avoiding eye contact all of a sudden. “I…suppose I didn’t. Yes, I know some sign language.”

This caught Sonic off guard. “Huh! When did you pick that up?”

“I learned it on the ARK.” He paused, waiting for a sign that he could leave it at that. When Sonic kept watching with expectant eyes, Shadow tensed some more and pressed on. “At times, when testing got particularly stressful, Maria would have nonverbal moments. She found it easier to communicate in these moments with sign language rather than writing or typing, so some of the scientists learned it to communicate with her better. Then when I was created, they taught it to me as well. Signing while speaking was an easy way to practice…but it seems the habit didn’t go away,” Shadow said.

Sonic grinned. “Teach me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Teach me some! Teach me some sign language! Even just a couple words, c’mon!”

“Why do you want this so badly all of a sudden? None of your friends know any, do they?”

“Our friends, you mean,” Sonic said. Shadow rolled his eyes. “And, well, no, they don’t. But like, it’d still be useful! Every once in awhile, I end up saving someone that can’t hear or can’t speak. Doesn’t happen too often, and I think I’ve done an okay job finding ways to communicate with ‘em, but it’d sure be easier if I knew some basics! Besides, it could be like a secret code if we’re around people that don’t know it!”

Shadow sighed. “Alright. The first answer I understand. But what use would we have for a secret code? There’s nothing I would have to say to you that I can’t just say aloud.”

“I dunno! Maybe for stealth missions?”

“Please. Your hopeless with stealth. A secret code isn’t nearly enough to save you.”

Sonic glared as Shadow huffed out a laugh. “Whatever! Maybe I do have secret things I would tell you! You’ll never know until we do it.”

Shadow sighed. He thought for a moment. Then, he decided: “Alright. I’ll teach you some. But for the record, your weak attempt at piquing my curiosity did not affect my decision.”

“Alright!” Sonic exclaimed as he pumped his fist in the air. “So…How do we do this?”

“Well…Perhaps the alphabet would be a good place to start.”

—

Slowly, over time, the other mobians began to notice the hand motions Sonic and Shadow would point at each other. It wasn’t often enough to be obvious. It was just something they did every so often. There were indeed a few times they would be battling Eggman together and would send each other a sign that the villain didn’t understand. Or they would happen across each other, and Sonic would smirk and swipe his finger under his nose. Shadow would reply back with a scowl, and he’d curl his index finger and thumb into a circle. Then Sonic would laugh and they’d go about their days and Tails and Rouge would be at their sides wondering what in the world was going on.

Frankly, though, a lot of Sonic and Shadow’s friends were pleased by the development, if only because it cut down on the loud arguing and boasting the two would get into.

—

On a clear, cool evening, Amy hosted a barbecue. Teams Sonic and Rose were invited, along with Rouge, who dragged her two boys with her. Everyone scattered throughout Amy’s yard. Amy herself stood at the grill with Knuckles, the two making food together. Shadow and Rouge sat at one picnic table just chatting amongst themselves, Omega standing beside them. Sonic and Tails sat at a second table a few feet away. Sonic watched over Tails’s shoulder as he played a game on his handheld console. Cream and Big had a blanket laid out that they shared, along with Cheese and Froggy of course. Everyone was relaxing in their own ways. It was already a lovely time.

Big couldn’t help but notice it when Sonic began to steal glances at Shadow. Big wasn’t always the most observant, but he was quiet. And being the fisherman he was, he could be very focused when he wanted to. For some reason, that focus fell on Sonic. The blue blur’s hands fidgeted as he tried to silently get the other hedgehog’s attention. Shadow was too distracted by one of Rouge’s stories to turn his head.

Eventually though, Shadow noticed. He stared at Sonic with a cocked eyebrow.

Sonic grinned back. He pointed to Shadow. He brushed his index and middle fingers down against his chin. Shadow kept staring as if expecting Sonic to take it back. After a second, Sonic chuckled and did it again.

Big had never seen Shadow blush before that moment. It was only the tiniest bit. He gave Sonic the middle finger and quickly turned away. He hid it as fast as he could. Nobody else seemed to have been watching anyway. But Big saw.

“Aw.”

Cream looked up at him. “What is it, Mr. Big?”

“Sonic and Shadow are really sweet.”

“Hm?” Cream looked up. The two were back to what they were doing before, not even facing each other. “What were they doing?”

“Sonic just gave him a nice compliment. But I don’t think anyone else knew it.“

Cream smiled. “Oh! That makes sense! Mr. Sonic is very kind! But…” She scratched her chin, suddenly rethinking. “I thought they didn’t like each other as much.”

“They must have made up,” Big said cheerfully. “That’s nice.”

“I guess so!” Cream nodded. “I’m glad we can all be good friends then!”

“Mhm.”

Froggy croaked and began hopping away. Big watched him go down the yard. He slowly rocked onto his feet and followed close behind. And with him suddenly leaving, so too did the secret message between Sonic and Shadow.

—

Translations of the ASL. I did my best to research these, but please let me know if something isn’t right! I’ll happily edit in corrections ^_^

“Sonic would smirk and swipe his finger under his nose” = fake, meant to invoke “faker”

“he’d curl his index finger and thumb into a circle” = asshole

“He pointed to Shadow. He brushed his index and middle fingers down against his chin.” = you’re cute

#my writing #fanfiction #fanfic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanfiction #shadow the hedgehog #sonic/shadow #sonadow #big the cat #cream the rabbit

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clydesavage-thefox147 · 1 year ago

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So, I feel the need to say something here.

So, I watched a recent video Thomas has been in with Smosh Pit. It was overall a sweet and funny video. But that's not what this is about. It's about the ending. When Thomas was asked the quintessential question of "where can they find you?" He goes like "Oh I do shorts, long form and short form" and "keeping up Vine". I was like yeah makes sense to bring that up, that's fine. But then he brought up Roleslaying with Roman. He was very happy to bring it up. However, no mention of Sanders Sides at all. I get it, Sides could be chalked up the being long form Vine things seeing as the characters are from Vine but...feels off. I remember times Thomas did advertise Sides on collabs and stuff. But other times he wouldn't really advertise anything specifically and just say the socials' names and just say basic shit like "fun videos with nice messages" etc.

But, I've also taken note that Thomas has been REEEEEEALLY pushing Roleslaying, a series that a lot of us weren't really expecting to be the way it turned out to be. We were just told "Roman series" for like a couple years before it was officially revealed. We all expected Sides Roman and we all felt kinda ripped off. Don't get me wrong, the series is nice and all, has a decent story, and it can be engaging to a degree, but it does have it pit falls. But, he's been really adamant on getting the series popular. Constantly promoting it, making a podcast for it(which to me seems unnecessary) and what seems like begging(to me) for 5 star reviews so that Roman of Reston can read them. Now it's like number 25 on Leisure on Spotify because of it. That is great and all but again, Thomas seems like he's forgetting where this series even originated from...Sanders Sides. His bread and butter. The series that garnered a majority of fans he has. A series we're all waiting for proper episodes for with the same spark and energy that it had originally. It seems Thomas has just lost interest in Sides but knows it's what got him popular on the YouTube space so he keeps it up for the money and relevance(for example Patreon branding). He says he still loves the series and enjoys working on it but the longer it takes to produce, the more it seems like it's taken a back seat in priority. I really hope this season finale is really worth the hype he's been pushing for it. But, the way he's been pushing Roleslaying makes it seem like he's saying "Like this! Please Like this! I wanna do this more!" Thomas, buddy, you need to realize that Roleslaying wouldn't exist without the popularity of Sanders Sides. Hell, Sanders Sides wouldn't exist without the Vine characters.

Now look, I get that Thomas shouldn't be tied down to just doing Sides content. But, using it now as a kind of cash grap and attention grabber like dangling keys in front of child feels sad to me. Feels like lately he's been using it as a buzz word or just for products...which is ironic because all sides merch has been wiped off the merch store. Sure, it could be making way for new ideas but they've made several over the years under the same manufacturer and didn't do this before. So, it feels off. If it was because they were out of stock, they could just list it as "Sold Out", not wipe it entirely. And Now he's released Roleslaying merch and new Could be Gayer merch. Which that's fine, just feels weird that that is all that is available right now. Especially because I remember Thomas talking about hoodies for each side back in December of 2021 but a manufacturing issue came up. He said that it was due to the company not being able to do "custom orders" like that detailed. Which, I understood. But then like a week or so later, the Bucket Hats were released which just didn't really help the previous statement. So this whole thing feels off. I'm just hoping it's just a wait of restock or new design releases in the future.

I know this year has been hard on Thomas to do what he wanted in terms of the season finale. I hope that now that things are seemingly getting better, he'll continue the promise he made this year into next year of getting at least Part 1 of it out, maybe two if lucky. I just feel like Sides has plummeted from grace. What it once had is now a slowly crumbling ancient temple, that the more you try to patch it and keep it up..it doesn't last long. If there isn't a significant restoration done soon, it'll all fall apart. I pray that once the Season finale is released, the fandom will have a resurgence. Old fanders come back, animatics are everywhere, art is flying out like hot cakes, forums are booming, it's trending everywhere, and the fandom is reborn...and hope it stays that way into the third and final season. Hell, I hope Joan does come back to a degree and revive the husk the series has become. But, it's up to them to decide that. Now, seems like Quil is the only one left of the old writers of the series. And if she leaves, season 3 is going to be wild and may not even feel canon but again we have yet to see that.

I just want what drew me to this series back again. Is that too much to ask genuinely?

#ts criticism #ts critical #ts opinion

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talisidekick · 1 year ago

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I need your help...

If you don't know me, hello, I'm Accalia, I go by Tali Sidekick online on Youtube, Instagram, and on the rarest of occasions Twitch. I'm a 29 year old transgender woman from Canada, who came out and began socially and medically transitioning in 2021. I stream largely on Youtube and on the rare occasion I make videos (it's been over a year since I last did that).

I could use your help affording my legal name change. I've been trying to afford it myself but I'm unable to for reasons I'll get into below. The link is in my blog description, but I'll post it here:

Recently, while walking home from work (I don't make enough to afford public transit or my own vehicle or a bicycle) I got attacked by a middle-aged man in a dimly lit residential neighbourhood. I got away, and thankfully I didn't give him enough time to do more than grab me by the arm. However, I had to file a police report, which gave me two options: use my legal name which at current is my deadname (ie. a name I no longer wish to use) which would be distressing to say the least, or submit it anonymously. I chose the latter which unfortunately does little besides let the public know that someone dangerous with a vague description is in their area. I wish I could have put my name on that report but using my legal name as it stands now is ... I can't.

To add to this, I was saving up, but unfortunately the student loans I owe decided to charge me during an appeal process (they weren't supposed to) and when the charge partially bounced they denied my appeal (which isn't supposed to happen under the contract agreement I signed) because of "outstanding payments". The appeal process also only looked at my gross income for one month, specifically the month I got paid 3 times in (it happens only once a year) and decided to combine all three payments into an equal 2 and evaluated my paycheck at around 25/hr when I only make 16/hr and has thus denied me reduced loans payment (I'm working on this but it's adding to my stress). So at current, the $300 I had extra got eaten by the National Student Loans Services Centre (NSLSC) again and from previous experience even though I should be reimbursed once this is cleared up, I won't be.

I would have also had more (remember that extra third paycheck?) but my health insurance stopped covering me because despite being signed up to a provincial pharmacy program they decided I wasn't, and forced me to buy my hormones and ADHD meds out of pocket. They only -just- reinstated coverage, but getting reimbursed will take over a month possibly 2.

As such, I have exactly $48 in savings and $7 in my basic checking account.

I want to get my name changed, I've been trying for over 2 years, and it's been impossible. Every time I have the money to spare, the NSLSC eats it and doesn't give it back, some medical thing comes up, or some unforseen cost rears its head and consumes my meager savings. The cost averages out to about $450 because it requires Finger Printing for a background check, Notary Fees, Processing Fees, and Reprinting Fees for my Birth Certificate, Drivers License, and Marriage License.

And if the $450 goal is exceeded, any excess getsput towards affording the $6000 surgery cost of getting SRS/GRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery/Gender Reassignment Surgery). I have until December next year before my government will no longer cover the cost of the surgery supposedly.

If I can get help here, I really want all my legal doccuments to read "Llorelei Accalia [Lastname]". I'm so tired of having to explain to people that I'm transgender because the name, face, and (somehow) voice don't match.

Currently at:

$50/$450

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t4transsexual · 7 months ago

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have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

#shoutout to my girlfriend for putting up with whats left of me #even though she says its not something she 'puts up with' because she loves me #trans #t4t #transhet #transmasc #t4t mlw #st4t #trans man #transgender #also had someone who said i was 'missing the point' of being t4t one time #like earlier this year #took all i had to not be like #'nope. i got it'

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taekooktimeline · 1 year ago

Text

September 11, 2023 (released):

Tae appears on Yoongi’s show “Suchwita.” They mention at the start of the show they’re meeting members for dinner later that same evening, and Yoongi says they’ll need to congratulate Jungkook (“Seven has achieved so much success. I’m so proud of Jk!). Tae gives a verbal congratulatory shoutout-

Timestamp 18:01 or

https://x.com/kookvtwins/status/1701225201889931331?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Yoongi mentions when he thinks of Tae, he thinks of their 2018 Fake Love era. Tae admits this was the toughest time in his life.

Remember, “Fake Love” derived during the time members were exhausted, while simultaneously their careers were going to a new, higher level.

Suchwita flashes back to MAMA 2018, when an emotional BTS told the audience they had considered disbanding. This video is significant, both for fans and Taekook. It captures a vulnerable moment of the duo in public that hasn’t been shown before by BH official cameras. The video shows Taekook having an emotional moment together, when they hugged and made a huge statement. It’s honestly surprising to me that BH agreed to show this, and raises questions on how they acceded to broadcast it, and whether Yoongi had a hand in it, given that he specifically mentioned Tae and Jk together. This moment was significant, as Yoongi mentioned Tae and Jk went through a difficult phase, and the video shows them together during this time (the screenshot where Yoongi mentions they were together is included below).

Every time I watch this clip I get emotional, thinking of all the hardships and hurdles BTS had to go through and, specifically, my biases.

As an aside, in the BB of this award show, after their emotional speeches, BTS were interviewed backstage. Tae was working on gathering his thoughts to talk to the camera. Jk quickly looks to the cameras before glancing back at Tae to flash the ILY sign, encouraging him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkv2zRPef8E, timestamp 20:56 or https://x.com/kakostel/status/1701712695664255216?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Recap of MAMA 2018 - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625027177926230016/december-14-2018

We’ve seen repeated instances of them utilizing the gesture as a means to encourage the other. You can find a brief summary here of various times they’ve utilized the ILY or sign language with each other - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2021/665338207021449216/october-2-2021-continued

In February 2018, the members had taken a long vacation to consider the future of BTS. Members found this trip to be healing.

And they had reflected on this trip during Festa. A brief synopsis -

February 2018 recap of trip - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/634616819634880512

March 2018 recap of trip - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625074896359292928/late-march-early-april-2018

Festa 2018 raw link - https://youtu.be/K4Melso7MPU?si=buEHnYcBOMMIA31_

BTS also reflected on 2018 throughout their “Break the Silence” docu-series (filmed in November 2019). Jungkook reminisced about BTS giving each other strength, despite their individual emotional scars, coming together to talk and support one another.

Jk discussing them supporting each other recap may be found here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625387952489496577/may-26-2020

BTS also discussed this time in their career during Festa 2020, which you can read a recap of here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/640118082405384192/also-on-that-day-9th-of-april-2020

Festa 2020 raw link - https://youtu.be/t9zPnWQIiuw?si=A1J3gAQSk5RVMfzj

In the present on Suchwita, Tae reflects on that difficult time period. While they were achieving so much, they were all physically and mentally burnt out. Heartbreakingly, Tae admits he was so drained and exhausted that he contemplated ways to hurt himself to get much needed rest.

https://x.com/r_taekook22/status/1701229627010629953?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

We know both Tae and Jungkook struggled heavily during this time. Both reflected on 2018 in “Break the Silence.” Until the Love Yourself tour, Tae admitted that was struggling with his emotions and shutting down.

Break the silence, ep 4 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388030307467264/may-19-2020

In episode 5, Jungkook expressed some of his worries, one being that people only love his stage persona as the golden maknae.

Break the Silence, ep 5 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388016975970304/taekooktimeline-may-21-2020-break-the-silence

This made me think of his London live (July 2023), when talking about the explicit version of “Seven,” Jungkook again cited his golden maknae image.

Recap of Jk’s London live (July 22, 2023): https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline/723765181171302400/july-22-2023-jungkook-goes-live-in-london-hes

I also want to note in one of the final episodes of the docu series, approximately 21 months since the disbandment talks, we see BTS has come to a place of acceptance, stating that they recognize that one day it will be inevitable to let the band go, whether by choice or not. They expressed hope that, when that time comes, they have no regrets and it’s a soft landing, not a crash.

Break the silence, ep 6 recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625387952489496577/may-26-2020

Yoongi and Tae disclose “Fake Love” almost didn’t come out, and reaffirm that “Tear” has a second layer to it, with it seemingly being about lovers breaking up, but in reality being a message to members considering disbanding.

As the rap line wrote “Tear,” Yoongi sent a letter to Tae and Jungkook (which makes Tae shy as he

The song “Tear” was previously discussed in “Break The Silence” episode 6 (aired in 2020).

The letter that Yoongi is referring to in Suchwita was previously revealed during Festa 2018. Tae shared that Yoongi wrote a letter that made him cry, ending it with, “I love you.”

Yoongi revealed he wrote the letter to two people (one being Tae)

Jungkook disclosed the second person to receive Yoongi’s letter was him.

BTS also brought up Yoongi’s letters to Taekook on April 15, 2018 (filmed), during their Harajuku Sweets Party. Tae reiterates the letter made him emotional. Members tease perhaps Taekook were beside each other when they read their letters.

Recap of Harajuku Sweets - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625074488032280576

Comprehensive recap of some of the disbandment talk moments in 2018 (which includes Jk covering “all my life,” the song “Tear,” the song “Fake Love,” Yoongi’s letter, Festa 2020 and Break the Silence snippets - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/635128353110769664/february-27-2018

Raw of Harajuku Sweets - https://youtu.be/03ngJ4oW7SQ?si=dao9sFCkdwWCGTpt

Yoongi asks Tae about that letter he sent to them back in 2018, when BTS considered disbanding.

Tae recalls how the letters gave both him and Jungkook the strength to continue, to think more positively.

https://x.com/mybwits/status/1701238438584852631?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae tells Yoongi the letter helped him, and he’s not felt so down since then.

Tae said something similar in the “Break the Silence” docu series, when he said the Love Yourself world tour was a turning point, and seeing members happy made him happy.

Again, recaps can be found here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/635128353110769664/february-27-2018 or here - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625388030307467264/may-19-2020

Tae’s message to his 2018 self -

Timestamp 24:03-31:09

A lot happened in 2018, so while I’d change the wording on some of the posts, I’d encourage you to review the year in its entirety to see everything that was happening, and how much pressure the members were under. Recap - https://taekooktimeline2018.tumblr.com/

While it’s quite clear all members struggled, I still believe Tae and Jk were at least two members who were contemplating disbandment, based on them receiving letters from Yoongi, Tae admitting to emotionally closing down and Jungkook shutting down (as expressed by Joon and Jin in Festa 2020). While all members were emotional during the disbandment talk during MAMA 2020, Tae was especially emotional, so much so that he was still gathering his thoughts during their backstage interview (when Jk flashed him the ILY sign). But of course, this is my opinion, and I’ve left references as to why I believe as I do, but you’re welcome to disagree.

At the very end of the episode, Yoongi admits 90% of In The Soop was cut, which makes Tae laugh in agreement. This is another instance where I’m going to reiterate we only see a fraction of their lives, and people shouldn’t place weight heavily on things like social media interactions.

Raw of Suchwita - https://youtu.be/M6wpkLCiHoI?si=S3RJ70XzrFzIivm1

#taekooktimeline #taekook #2023 #Suchwita #disbandment #disbandment talks #2018 #supportive #closeness

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tsukiyouyuis · 1 year ago

Text

Snow Light

Hi everyone:) I finally decided to post the one and only writing I did for Genshin! This was an old work I did back in January 2022 to commemorate one of my most valuable game experiences. (I started Genshin in December 2021)

Character: Diluc Ragnvindr

Pov: You = The traveler/Player self-inserted

Synopsis: You have always wanted to explore Dragonspine ever since you first arrived in Mondstadt, but the cold was too much for you to handle, unless you can go with someone who is warm enough…

Premise: Both you and Diluc are secretly having a crush on each other.

Timeline: Liyue archon quest. Post-Mondstadt archon quest + Diluc’s story quest.

Tags: SFW, fluff, confession, adventure, Diluc is sweet and caring

Please note:

This is a translated work. Please note that English is not my first language and I’ve never written a fic in English before. I tried my best for the translation and please bear with me if you find any mistakes.

No gender specific pronouns were used. However, “you” was implied to be a female at some point since it was written on my POV based on my true game experience.

The title of this work came from the song “Snow Light” by Kensho Ono (Diluc’s JP VA). For me, those lyrics are Diluc's words of confession. I put the translations at the end and you are very welcome to check out how I think Diluc confesses his love specifically in this context :)

I hope you enjoy reading this long story ^_^

After destroying another hilichurl’s camp, you suddenly feel tired of everything.

You silently put those materials into your bag and walk to the highest spot of the mountain. The sun at noon is quite dazzling and it is hurting your eyes a bit, but it does not prevent you from having a great view of the entire Liyue Harbor. No matter what happens, those bustling streets and crowds will always be there.

It has been a while since you left the city of freedom and came to this land of geo. You are having a lot of fun admiring the beautiful yet different scenery and cultural heritage. Meanwhile, you have also met a lot of weird people, which…did not really surprise you right after leaving Mondstadt. The most typical example would be the man who is accompanying you in your journey -- Zhongli, the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who is extremely knowledgeable on almost everything, yet being totally clueless about money. Thanks to him, you always have to keep an eye on your mora to ensure that you and Paimon can still pay for your meals…

But this did not prevent you from growing interests for Liyue. In order to get to know this nation better, you have decided to do your daily commissions only here.

You haven’t been active in Mondstadt for quite a while.

Even so, you can easily to go back thanks to the teleport waypoints. Mondstadt is like a home for you. You know you can never actually leave there, especially after you have already crossed paths with too many people.

But there is only one main reason for you to keep going back and forth in two nations.

Every day, you would teleport back to Dawn Winery after finishing your activities. You would stroll around the statue of the seven, pick up a few windwheel asters, and look at the windmills of the city in distance. You would then go sit on the bench, enjoy the scent of grapes and wine. At the end, you would go inside the manor, and wait for the next day to begin.

The winery is open to the public all year round, but the maids and Elzer have basically acquiesced in you being there. Adelinde remembered all the books you like to read, and she would even prepare them for you beforehand. Almost every day, you would leave in the morning and come back in the evening, which made you feel like you are treating this place as a home more than the owner does.

However, you haven't seen Diluc since you worked together to resolve the stormterror issue. He seems rarely comes home. Sometimes he did come back, but you either happened to be away or have already fallen asleep in one of the guest rooms. You heard that he would occasionally work at the Angel’s Share as a bartender, so whenever you completed your commissions quickly enough, allowing you to come back earlier, you would always drop by. But only archons would know why you were unlucky enough to miss the redhead every single time. Instead, you did encounter that cavalry captain quite often. It always turned out that you were teased by him and had to ran away from the tavern with flushed cheeks.

Well known by everyone in Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr is a handsome and wealthy gentleman, the highly respected young master of Dawn Winery. However, only a few know that he is also the “Darknight Hero” who protects the city every night. No matter using which identity, he will not be distracted by anything and always gets everything done perfectly. As far as you can remember, Diluc's expression has never changed dramatically, and coupled with his calm demeanor, it is not surprising if people say that he is grumpy or lacking emotion.

But that is not the case, you know it. When Paimon called him "Captain Pyro", he let out a disapproval grunt, but then acquiesced in this more nonsensical name after the tasteless title of "Darknight Hero". You spent quite a lot of time working with him during the stormterror attacks. Every night when you left the winery and said good night to him, he would look straight into your eyes and say "Alright, see you next time, I’ll make sure you get home safely." His soothing voice, his gentle tones, the tint of smile in his eyes…How can you ever forget those moments?

Yes, unknowingly, like many girls in Mondstadt, you have secretly fell in love with this prince of the dark night. Every day, you would spend quite a long time in Dawn Winery, scanning through the rows of books on the bookshelf with your fingertips, and then randomly pick one, sit down and read it carefully. Diluc is in charge of basically the entire alcohol industry in Mondstadt and probably half of Teyvat, the contents of his book collections are naturally about alcohol. You have heard from Conner saying that “Master Diluc has never read books in the winery, not even once…” But even so, your day-to-day habits have not changed, despite you don’t really understand the content by heart.

After all, this is the only way you can get close to Diluc without being able to meet him.

The dazzling sunshine pulls you out of your memories. You blink, and your eyes drift involuntarily to another direction – the direction of Dragonspine, which is the only place you haven’t explored in Mondstadt. Of course, it's not that you haven't tried, but the sheer cold was really beyond your ability to bear. Probably you will try again after you become stronger, or being able to master the pyro element, just like Diluc…

You can’t help but think of him again. Being a wielder of a pyro vision, he surely won’t be bothered by such coldness. He himself is as warm and bright as the morning sun, otherwise how can he dispel the shadow covering Mondstadt?

You sigh and open the map, trying to figure out how to kill the rest of the afternoon and hopefully, this will pull you out from all those fantasies about the redhead…

But a second later, you hear something behind you. Fear builds up in your chest instantly and you almost fall down. Thanks to the person who made the sound grabbed your arm, you did not fall off the cliff.

"I see…It seems like you are more easily to get nervous after gaining more experience."

That familiar voice makes you turn your head swiftly, and you see the face you have been thinking about all day and night. You can see the reflection of your flustered self in those ruby-like eyes.

"Oh! D-Diluc—uh, sir," you dodge his gaze, feeling the scorching heat spread from the back of your ears, "Ah...why you happen to be here?"

Diluc frowns slightly after hearing the honorific you deliberately added, but his tone is as calm as usual, "It doesn't matter where I am, right? This is nothing to be surprised about."

"But…we are in Liyue?" And on the top of a mountain with nothing but monsters and trees.

Anyone would find it strange that Master Diluc, who is dedicated to protecting Mondstadt day and night, appears in a place other than Mondstadt for no obvious reasons.

"..." Diluc freezes for a short moment, he then lets go of your arm, "This is not something you should worry about." Under your curious yet confused gaze, he slowly looks away and clears his throat, "…Please don't look at me like that."

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry!" You apologize in a panic, quickly adjusting your facial expression. But you accidentally see the blush of his ears. Before you had time to think about it, Diluc speaks again.

"There's no need to apologize.” He said, the slight embarrassment that was previously on his face is gone as if you were hallucinating, “How are you doing recently?"

"Eh? Um, well…" you are a little caught off guard, but still answer him with a smile, "I'm doing good, and I haven't been too busy with commissions recently. Thank you, Master Diluc, for your concern."

Diluc does not respond immediately, but his eyes soften, which is captured by you. A faint happiness fills your heart. You know that he is not simply being polite, but is genuinely caring about you.

"It's been a while since you and I have seen each other." After a short pause, he continued, "I heard from Adelinde that you would visit the winery every day. Did you encounter any difficulties?"

"Well...um...not really." You keep your gaze down, attempting to hide your embarrassment by fiddling with your own fingers. What are you supposed to tell him? Of course you can't just say that you want to stay at the house of your crush for… a little longer.

Diluc sighs, "It's alright if you don't want to tell me, but if you encounter any problems or have any needs, you can always come to me."

Ah, yes…He had said the same to you after the darknight hero incident. You did encounter a lot of problems when you first started your adventure, but you didn’t want to bother Diluc for such personal matters. After all, he is known as a busy person. So in the end you would always find a way to solve everything by yourself, even if you ended up getting yourself into more troubles, failing everything, or getting injured. After all, you dare not rely on others easily after parting from your sibling.

But these are actually excuses, you know that. After realizing that you had fell for Diluc, you didn’t know how to deal with your feeling, because you know it will never work out. You are an outlander, a traveler. After you find your sibling and reach the end of the journey, you will leave Teyvat, and you will leave him, probably forever.

You had tried to avoid him, thinking that in this way, your feelings would fade away as the time goes by.

But unfortunately, the effects were completely opposite. Your feelings towards him grew day by day until you couldn’t suppress them in any possible way. You couldn’t help but wanting to meet him. You want to stay with him, to talk with him, to travel with him, to rely on him…

You feel your face starts to burn as you are thinking about it, and you are so flustered that you don't know where to look. Diluc is standing right in front of you, and as you keep avoiding making eye contacts with him, your attention is caught by the vision attached to his belt. The pyro element glimmers in the glass bead, and that beautiful crimson color resembles the wielder’s eyes and hairs.

"Traveler?"

Diluc's puzzled voice is heard overhead, and you finally decide to look up and meet his eyes. At that moment, you suddenly accept the fact that no matter how hard you try to supress your feelings, it is useless, so there is no point to torture yourself like this. You already knew that it will never work out, so now you might as well follow your own inner thoughts.

"A-Actually, I have a matter that you could probably help me, Master Diluc." You try to calm yourself down, but you seem have lost your voice, "If it's possible..."

Diluc didn’t respond, and his expression stays the same, but obviously he is waiting for your next words.

"Could you…um, accompany me to Dragonspine...?"

You can’t help but to start panicking right after saying it. What if he rejects you? Once again, you find it is too hard to look him into the eyes, but it will be strange to lower your head suddenly. So you lock your eyes on the red gem on his bow tie and meanwhile, clasping your hands tightly behind your back, feeling that your palms are starting to sweat.

"Yes," Diluc agrees immediately, without even a hesitation. You look at him again in surprise, but you can see that he is confused. "But what are you going to do in Dragonspine? If you need any materials, I can find them for you directly."

"Ah, it has nothing to do with materials! It's just because I haven't really been there yet." Your respond excitedly, temporarily forgetting the shyness and embarrassment when facing Diluc. "I can’t master the pyro element at the moment, and it's just too cold there..."

Diluc looks into your shining eyes, the corners of his mouth are slightly raised, "I see, you are right. After all, you are an adventurer, and the joy of adventure always comes first."

His smile makes you lose your mind once again. Those feelings that have just been left behind came back to you in the blink of an eye.

A gentle gust of wind blows, Diluc looks at the blue sky, and you look at him. His crimson hairs is so beautiful under the sunshine, just as dazzling as the dawn.

“Let’s go.”

Dragonspine is still as beautiful as in your memory. The white snow covers every inch of the land, yet that’s not the only colour. The most conspicuous one is undoubtedly the red beam of the statue of the seven, which will be your destination today.

You follow Diluc silently. The sound of your boots stepping on the snow seems to be amplified many times. Even though you two had left the teleport waypoint for not even a minute, you already start to feel the sheer cold is devouring you.

"Here, take this," Diluc, who had been silent all this time, suddenly speaks. You are startled, while he hands over a red ore, "This is called the scarlet quartz, which can keep you warm temporarily."

The moment you take the scarlet quartz, it disappears as if melted by your body temperature. You suddenly feel a nice and warm aura surrounding you.

"Wow, this is amazing!" You look at your hands in surprise, "Thank you, Master Diluc!"

"No need. The effect of the quartz can only last for a while. So if you are still cold, just let me know any time." He responds, followed by a hesitant expression.

"... Diluc,” he speaks after a brief pause, “just...call me Diluc is fine."

His words make you stop everything you were doing and thinking but only to look at him. At your first glance, Diluc's face is still as unamazed as usual, but obviously he is trying you avoid your eyes. And probably your vision is not too well due to the snow, but you are pretty sure that you see a suspicious faint blush on his cheeks. Could it be because he was just too cold as well……?

"B-But..." You stammer, feeling the heat gradually creeping up your entire face. But before you can say anything else, a group of hilichuirls, those who have ice shields in their hands, appears out of nowhere.

Immediately, Diluc gushes forward. Crimson flames burst out along with his movements. Even you, who is a distance away from the battle, can feel that extreme heat mediating from him. The moment when you come back to your senses and get ready to help, the battle is over, leaving only the melted snow and fallen materials.

You stand there awkwardly. Of course, the main reason that you invited Diluc, who masters the pyro element, to accompany you to Dragonspine was because you wanted to rely on him a little. Something like this shouldn’t be surprising, but when it actually happens, you still feel really bad about your incapability.

Diluc puts away his claymore and turns to you. And as if he had seen through your mind, his expression softens, "It’s nothing."

Seeing that you are still standing in a daze, he hesitates for a moment, and then comes closer to you. He lightly pokes your forehead with his gloved fingertips, "Come on, just take the materials, and we'll move on, okay?"

"……Thank you." You whisper your gratitude, blushing, and trying your best to let your heart calm down from his touch and his words. Diluc's voice is still as gentle and soothing as ever, making you feel like you are floating on top of the cloud. His flames seem to have lingered onto the skin touched by him, It’s not a burning heat, but a warmth that flows into your heart.

Fortunately, there are not too many enemies popping out as you two are getting closer and closer to the statue. Or maybe, all kinds of hilichuirls are buried under Diluc's flames when you are too busy enjoying the scenery or collecting materials.

You have never stayed this close to him for such a long time. His flying red hairs, flames brought out by his claymore, all perfectly complement with the whiteness of the snow. You always stare at him subconsciously and have to spend at least few seconds to bring your mind back.

He is just like a tint of fire that keeps you warm in the snow, makes you feel incredibly safe, makes you can’t feel the cold seeping into your body.

And it isn't until you hadn't been close to any fire or the minerals of the scarlet quartz for quite a while that you realized that you were already freezing.

Unfortunately, this is a bad timing. Diluc is not by your side now. He asked you to wait for him a bit and then left. You look at the surroundings, the beautiful snow you were seeing before is now somehow shrouded in a layer of dark mist.

An inexplicable fear surges into your heart like a tide. The wind is freezing cold, whistling in your ears. You tightly wrap all of your clothes around your body, but still can’t stop the biting chill from pouring into your collar. It is not that you have never felt cold before, but you still get scared after seeing your breath condensed into visible white particles floating around you.

Your vision has started to blur, and your legs seem to have lost all the strength…You are about to fall down—

The wet and cold feeling of the snow does not come as you expected. Instead, you feel soft fabrics, surrounded by a faint aroma of grapes and firewood. It is so familiar and reassuring, it is your favorite smell...

"Careful!"

You are still cold, but the fear in your heart fades away instantly, just like ice being melted by fire. And as you gradually catch your breath, you slowly open your eyes, and find yourself leaning on Diluc's chest, with him gently encircling your waist.

Oh archons, this is way too close, and he is holding you in his arms. Normally, you surely would immediately jump away, flustering like a mass and wanting to die. But now you can’t even stand properly, and your brain is just not functioning. Diluc's clothes are as cold as the surrounding environment, but strangely, his embrace is so warm, warm enough to make you, a person who is cold and longing for warmth instinctively, want to stay like this forever.

But after you recover a little bit and feeling able to stand still, the unbelievable idea of "being held by Diluc in his arms" brings you back to reality again. Diluc obviously notices the change in you. He lets go of his hand, but then immediately takes off his coat and wraps it around you, almost covering your whole body.

"I’m sorry," he looks at you, obviously worried, "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I was just looking for a place where we can rest. I should’ve taken you with me."

You shake your head, "No…no, please don’t apologize, Master Diluc. I know you will come back." But to be honest, you almost let your fear won after realizing that you couldn’t feel any other human being but yourself in this cold, empty, and completely silent place.

"..." Diluc does not answer directly but looks at you deeply. Something is in his eyes, but you can’t really tell what it is. He then holds your hand, "...Come with me."

He takes you to a spot with cooking ware and fire, which seems to be lightened just now. The whole area is surrounded by tall rocks that block most of the wind. Almost immediately, you start to feel your hand and face again as the warmth seeping into your frozen bones. Diluc makes sure you sit down near the fire, then he started to set up the cooking pot.

You stand up again as a reflex. You’ve already done this on your own so many times, even when you were injured badly enough that you could barely move. And besides, no matter what is happening, it is still hard to let the master of Dawn Winery to cook for you.

"Sit down and rest."

His slightly commanding tone makes you unable to disobey. You can only sit down again, obediently.

While fixing your gaze on Diluc, you let yourself completely immersed into his coat. The smell of firewood mixed with the faint aroma of grapes and wine is now surrounding you once again. You take a deep breath, recalling this smell from Dawn Winery, from the vineyard, from the books he read, pages he touched… At that moment, you feel like you are at home.

You observe Diluc once again. This is the first time you see clearly what are under his coat. A black shirt with a white vest, the belt that goes from his shoulder and connected to his waist… He has such a nice shape…If you look further downwards-

You are startled by what you are doing and immediately turn your head aside, squeezing your eyes shut.

Now you are really warmed up……

After having some warm soup, you feel much better. The snow seems to be lighter than before as you two set out on the road again. You can see that red beam of light is getting closer and closer to you.

Snow falls on Diluc's hairs and shoulders. His shirt is slightly disheveled by the wind. You suddenly remember his coat is still on you.

"Master Diluc, " You speak hesitantly, about to take it off, "Um… you must be cold, I'll give this back to-"

"You can wear it." He replies, "The pyro vision can minimize the impact of the coldness on my body." He puts the coat back on you, carefully feeling your body temperature, "You need to keep warm more than I do. If you fall down again, I will be very troubled."

Thus you get the following: A redhead wearing only a shirt and vest, walking in the heavy snow, followed by a small figure wrapped in a big black coat, which does not seem too inappropriate considered you are in Dragonspine, one of the most mysterious regions in Teyvat.

Fortunately, you two successfully end up arriving in front of the statue of the seven, and the last obstacle is a layer of ancient rime piled up at the bottom. You are just about to clear it with your normal attack as usual, but before you can do it, Diluc stops you, "Wait."

"You need to have the scarlet quartz to clear them." He explains, "The subzero climate here in Dragonspine makes normal attacks useless, even with pyro elemental infusion."

"I see…" You look around, trying to find the redness in the surrounding, "There it is!"

A minute later, you come back with the effect of scarlet quartz. The rime was successfully cleared away by your charged attack. The red glowing statue makes the surroundings extremely warm. You look up at the anemo archon, memories flooding back into your mind. Venti, Dvalin, the Holy Lyre, Stormterror’s Lair, Jean, and Diluc, who is standing right behind you at this moment…

You close your eyes and stretch out your hand, the last statue of the seven in the Mondstadt area will be lightened up soon—

...

Nothing happened?

You open your eyes, confused. Normally the statue should have been lit by your touch, yet it is still glowing red at this time. You also can't feel the anemo element at all...

"As what I expected…" Diluc sighs, and you turn to face him, "It’s probably because I am here. I think that our humble anemo archon can't tolerate other people disturbing you."

"What? No, it shouldn’t, it can’t be…" You stand there helplessly, with your hand still on the statue. After months, you are finally here, and the journey to here with the accompany of Diluc is an absolute treasure to you. And now everything will go wasted?

You feel like your tears are about to fall, "…I need to go back to square one and do everything all over again…?"

"No." Diluc says, "You have already reached this point successfully, there is no need to start over."

Through the flying snowflakes, you can still clearly see him. His eyes are soft, he is smiling at you…

The snow seems to become heavy again. Diluc’s red hairs are flying in the cold wind. You are trembling slightly, but your feet can’t move as if they have rooted in the ground. You can only stand there, letting a thin layer of wind and snow separate you and him.

"I believe you can do well on your own from now on." Diluc continues, his crimson eyes met yours, and he smiles again, obvious enough for you to see it clearly, "Today's journey was quite delightful, traveler."

"Wait, Di—" You shout his name, but is blinded by the sudden strong wind. However, after only a few seconds, the wind stops, and you are facing an empty space, just like nobody was there before.

You look around anxiously, but you can’t feel any other human being. At the same time, the statue emits a dazzling blue light. The anemo element pours into your palm. You look up at this last statue in Mondstadt, but without any excitement and joy as you have imagined.

You sit down leaning against the statue and letting the wind whistling in your ears. Diluc's sudden departure gave you a feeling of waking up from a dream. However, the aroma lingering around reminds you that what happened today was not a dream. You look down at the black coat you are still wearing, those luxurious golden patterns are slightly deformed in your hands.

You didn’t even get a chance to say thank you...

Suddenly, you no longer have any interest in staying in Dragonspine, at least for today. You open the map, and in the next second you are standing under the identical statue, but at Dawn Winery.

Night has fallen. The wind gently blows your hair. Unlike the ones in Dragonspine, it feels warm.

You take off the coat and hold it in your hand, start walking towards the winery. You mind hasn’t come back yet, but your legs just automatically bring you right to the front of the manor.

"Welcome back, Miss." As soon as you enter the main entrance, you are greeted by Adelinde. Her eyes then fall on the thing in your hand, and she smiles, "Looks like you finally met Master Diluc today."

"Well, that’s true..." You reply in a low voice. You are embarrassed. During all this time, Adelinde has not only allowed you to live here, but she would even prepare the breakfast for you, send you out every morning, and welcome you back in the evening. Obviously, her attitude towards you is no longer as simple as a "guest".

You want to give the coat to the head housemaid, but she says that you can put it directly in Diluc's room.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Although you two have already known each other very well, and you have lived here for so long, you are still, well, a guest, after all. It is definitely not appropriate to go directly into the room of the master.

"Master ordered a long time ago that you, Miss, is allowed to enter any room in the winery."

Well then in that case…

Diluc's room is next to his study on the second floor. You have passed by countless times, but now you are a little nervous about going in. After a moment of hesitation, you carefully open the door.

The lights in the room have already been turned on. In addition to that comfortable king-size bed, there is also a desk that is similar to his study but without many things on top, surrounded by tall bookshelves. The curtains are half drawn, and the night outside could be seen. The luxurious furnishing of the room resembles the entire manor, but you can see the owner reserved a style exclusive for himself. A few wax-sealed letters are sitting on the desk, waiting to be mailed. You stare at Diluc's beautiful handwriting, an image of him sitting there and signing his name appears in front of you. Gosh, he must be as elegant as usual…

After looking around the room, you realize that there is only one place to leave his coat without opening the closet. You approach the bed, hands resting on those soft sheets. You don’t know if you are just tired or still too excited from having a trip with Diluc, but ever since you entered his room, there has been a warmth surrounding you, which is the same feeling he gave you when you were in Dragonspine today. It feels like he is still with you…

And he would sleep on this bed…by himself, after calling a day.

You swiftly cover your burning cheeks, "Stop! What the hell am I thinking?"

However……

Looking at those neat beddings, a sadness comes into you. On top of running a huge business that brings so much work and responsibilities, Diluc is only a young man who is not even older than you. How many nights can he sleep on this bed without being exhausted or stressed out…?

It is already very late, and he hasn't come back yet. Seems like the darknight hero is working hard again. Your feel like your eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier, and your mind is full of the redhead when your eyes are shut completely…

You don’t know how long it has passed, but you smell the aroma of grapes and firewood again. It is so close to you, and you can’t help but want to get closer, and closer... You feel like you have returned to Dragonspine, with Diluc is standing in front of you. Snowflakes are flying around, but it is not cold at all, it is warm, as if you two are the only light in the snow.

"Just…call me Diluc is fine."

You know you are dreaming, but his voice, and his eyes looking at you, are still so realistic and gentle. Your feelings flood out of your heart like a tide, and you can’t hold them back anymore—

It is very late.

Right after the clock strikes the third time, the door of the manor is opened and closed silently. The darknight hero rests wearily against the wall for a while, and then he slowly goes upstairs.

When Diluc enters the room, the first thing he sees is you, who is sleeping soundly against the bed while still holding the coat for dear life. He is startled, but then quietly comes to your side.

The redhead chuckles silently, observing your sleeping face lovingly. If ever you are awake, you would definitely suspect that the Diluc in front of you is a counterfeit as he would never make a face like this.

Diluc takes off his gloves, carefully pulls out the crumpled coat in your arms, then gently carries you and puts you into his own bed. You are asleep during the whole process, completely unaware of what is happening.

The moonlight shines through the gap in the curtains and falls on the two of you. Diluc, who is now supposed to take a shower and rest, sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you without a word.

The Honorary Knight of the Knights of Favonius is now active in Liyue. Such a well-known fact can no longer be a part of his “intelligence network”.

He knows, as a traveler, you will never stop your journey until you reach the final destination and find your sibling. You will not stay in one place because of a person, an event, or a difficult task. Diluc himself had the same type of goal as you, and had traveled all over the seven nations alone, so he naturally understands your convictions and perseverance better than anyone else.

But it is precisely this kind of him, who has always been walking alone in the darkness, that he has unknowingly gotten used to and fell in love with the feeling of having you by his side. Only after you left Mondstadt, Diluc realized that even the most ordinary things, like seeing you around or saying goodbye to you, could make him miss you. Before being totally aware of the reason behind it, he had already started to take the initiative to obtain your information and your daily commissions.

Of course, that was very easy for him to do. But over time, this feeling of him, so called "missing you", gradually became a little more different than what he expected, and he couldn’t really tell what it is.

But it feels just like those few sporadic fire lights in the cold and heavy snow, which look so insignificant considering those random fire sources in the entire Dragonspine. However, the scorching heat those fire brought could not be ignored.

Because it is the heat that can make people alive. It is the warmth that he would love to approach and embrace. It is the light that he has been fighting to reach.

He wants to see you. He is going to see you.

Clouds are covering the moon. Diluc continues fixing his gaze on your face. His eyes are flickering slightly in the darkness. He can’t help but to get closer to you—

"…hm……"

Your suddenly let out a light hum. Diluc’s hand stops in mid-air instantly, fingertips are only half an inch away from your face, but you don’t seem to be bothered by anything and just move your body a bit, still asleep. Some vague syllables are coming out from your parted lips, but for some reason, it seemed like you are really trying to speak properly.

Diluc leans down to you, trying to hear your little sleep talks—

"...Diluc..."

Your voice is like a whisper, yet the pronunciation is so clear and accurate that it doesn't seem to be any kind of sleep talks.

Diluc’s eyes widen slightly, obviously in shock. He stares at you as if he is going to drill a hole on your face. He was not expecting you would say his name, and finally, without the title.

Meanwhile, clouds fades away in the exact right timing. Your cheeks are pink under the moonlight, but there is still no sign of you waking up.

......

"Yes."

Although Diluc knows you can’t hear him, he still responds in his most soft voice ever.

"Diluc..."

"Yes, I'm here."

His hand moves again. He strokes your cheek, eyes full of affection for you.

"......"

You unconsciously rub your chin against his skin, pressing your lips against his wrist.

"I…love you."

"......!"

Diluc looks at you in disbelief, feeling his whole body starts to tremble. Your warm breath sprayed on his skin reminds him that you did actually say that.

At this moment, all of his feelings in his heart are transformed into the same feeling that you have towards him. How silly of him kept telling himself that he was “missing you”, but it has been completely different since archon knows how long ago. The throbbing emotions in his chest seemed to have thawed the ice surrounds his heart, and that heat and love is spread all over his body.

"I love...Diluc..."

Your voice fades, and you fall into a deep sleep again after a while, but the redhead in front of you is surely not able to fall asleep today, in any case.

While attempting to control the heart that is about to jump out of his chest, Diluc kisses your forehead, this time, without any hesitation.

"Me too."

The moon is once again covered by clouds, but the light that can penetrate the coldness and illuminate the night will never disappear again.

The end.

——————————❄️———————————

「Snow Light」

—— Diluc Ragnvindr (CV: Kensho Ono)

Disclaimer: This translation is credited to this blog. I made adjustments based on my own understanding of the Japanese language, and I tried to make the lyrics sound more colloquial and complete.

The townscape of where you live is on the other side of the blurry window. It is flickering in seven colors. It is sparkling hazily.

Every time when I run in a hurry, chilled to the bone, I always want to hug you tightly.

Snow light, snow breath, snow flakes...

Right now, like that snow, my feelings towards you cannot be hidden.

They are falling and piling up for you, in a sparkling white.

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling is gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are just my Snow Light.

Where you are you right now? What are the scenery in your eyes?

I wish to know more. This is the first time I’m having this thought.

My monochrome world is being repainted by you. That is like a miracle.

Snow shade, snow drop, snow dome...

Even if like that snow being melted away right now, this feeling of me will never disappear.

I just want to tell you, I’m always missing you.

Imagine us sitting close together, bashfully, I'm ascertaining your existence with my hand, while we staring at each other with sincere eyes.

I won’t let you go, my heart won’t change. My feelings toward you are never enough.

It is falling and piling up non stop, you’re just my Snow Light.

Although I can’t shine as beautifully as you, if I could become your light, that alone would make me able to overcome everything.

No matter how long the night is, I will never let you feel cold.

Surely tomorrow there will be a silvery morning light. It will be dazzling, it will be lovely...

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine, us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are my Snow Light

Forever, you are just my Snow Light.

Thank you for reading.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #translation #self insert

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