#i think its because i had that breakdown in front of her before
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MY MUM JUST BOUGHT ME AND HER TICKETS TO SEE SIX?? UNPROMPTED???? SHE IS THE MOST CONFUSING WOMAN ALIVE??????? BUT YAAAAAYYYY
#she hates me but also doesnt but also does but not quite but does but doesnt but#see i have a worse relationship with my father but its so much easier because hes just an absolute bastard all round#my mothers flip flopping every day calling me an ungrateful waste of money one minute then buying me six tickets the next like??#what am i meant to do about that???#anywayz SIX TICKETS WOO FUCKING LOVE SIX#I WAS MEANT TO SEE IT RIGHT BEFORE COVID HIT AND I JUST HAVENT COME ACROSS IT SINCE#SHE SAW IT AND JUST BOOKED THE TICKETS FOR NEXT YEAR IM LIKE SO EXCITED#fr though why is she being so nice to be its kind of frightening#i think its because i had that breakdown in front of her before#she hasnt told me to get a job since then either#you guys dont understand how big of a deal that is#she always finds a way to tell me to get a job#anywayz everyone thank my mum for being a great mum <3#for the moment as least#dont want to jinx it#maybe marrying my step dad last month changed her psychologically#omg maybe shes started therapy#am a little afraid because im in the process of starting testosterone (yay!) but havent told her and i should be on it by december so uh#its gonna be obvious by the time we go to see it#so im *scared*#she may very well take the tickets away but LETS HOPE NOT#im so sorry ive written an essay in the tags lmfao#mummy issues#mummy issues going wild fr
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I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman
#rat rambles#did I ever actually make a proper isat talking tag? I don't remember but erm#stars posting#anyways dont count on me committing to this au too hard since Im mostly eternal gales brained rn but I am rotating ideas in my head#shes always interested me deeply as what am I if not a sucker for women who are mostly silhouettes of a character#I was mostly just thinking abt other ppls aus where she is also looping and was thinking abt how fucked it be for her in general but also#how much more fucked it would be for her if it was Only her looping#because as far as she would know theres straight up nothing that can be done to fix this and shed be stuck in a hell of what shed be sure#is her own creation#and then I thought to myself. what if she then accidentally did a loop while trying to fix it#and then my brain also said but what if loop was also there#so I did some mental gymnastics to ignore the possible problems and decided to take an extra spin on it and just sorta add her to the main#party by having her have basically wished to be able to help them defeat the king to make things right and her getting dropped earlier#on in the adventure so I can fuck around with potential character dymamics more (cough cough siffrin)#and for the actual loops I think it'd be funny if she could remember just like loop but was fully convinced that she was looping alone#so itd be siffrin and her acting at eachother trying to hide their seperate breakdowns while meamwhile loop is just staring at her with a#whole heap of mixed emotions but mostly the confusion of who the fuck is this guy???????#and sif is just like yeah thats secret. shes a powerful craft user who's craft experiments backfired and fucked up her body. duh.#and loop just Knows that thats not true but they have no real way to bring it up properly without drawing too much suspicious#oh yeah and Im calling her secret for now. in my minds eye shes like constantly putting on different fronts in hopes that one of them will#stick but shes been able to get away with it by playing up her belief in change to a cartoonish degree#shes really trying to be strong and not raise suspicion since she does want mirabelle to be able to learn and grow from this just the same#as her own mirabelle before and just wants to be able to fix the broken wish by being there to defeat the king herself#which she had already convinced herself was the reason the wish broke since she was the one stuck remembering#I should reword it to that probably because saying shes the one looping isnt Wrong but asside from sif not remembering it still entirely#revolved around him she was just the one forced to deal with it without any real way of learning how to fix it#and while she never figured out the entirety of the sif stuff it was always him taking to her that reset the loop#so she has. complicated feelings on him. she doesn't want to be avoidant or distant or to dislike him! and as time goes on she does grow to#like him a lot! but its just. hard to look him in the eye sometimes.#and then theres the horrors of the actual main game starting and the slow but horrifying realization of how badly she fucked up
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Please more Trail's gone cold au I'm begging you I need it just pour out every thought in your brain I want to hear it
hgdhhfbd i mean, sure why not
everything plot related is in the main post, there's nothing else really to tell. but i could share random details that didn't really fit into the lore drop. again tho, it's a small au and mostly an exploration of the concept, so there's not a lot.
❄️ gem and etho are siblings, i don't think it was mentioned anywhere? blood related and all that, they both have black hair, gem just dyes hers.
❄️ behind the scenes reasons for the order of deaths. generally i picked these three to be the main cast because i suddenly realized pet crew were just dungeon master and his two winners, and that was too crazy of a concept to not do anything with? so, tango as the main guy and actual master of the dungeon had to die first, seeing how he's the cave's favorite. pearl as the main explorer and as the one to unlock all the secrets had to die second, because she had to return to the dungeon / the cave to find out the truth, and she conquered it but never actually got out. and etho had to survive, because he's the "proper" winner and the one who actually escaped the dungeon with treasures.
❄️ lore reasons for the order of infection. tango you already know, but pearl and etho went in at the same time so in theory they had to start experiencing the effects together. but because etho was wearing a mask it did lessen the amount of sculk he inhaled, slowing down the process. wear masks kids!
and, well, you did say you wanted to hear every thought so. i really like the plot point of them leaving tango to die, so im gonna ramble a little about it. even just, the difference in their views on the situation is so satisfying to me. because tango had no idea something scary was happening to him! and for pearl and etho it was a life or death situation. and just-- they were talking about leaving tango and tango obviously, obviously, protested, because what the actual hell??? yes okay he's ill and a burden, but don't leave an ill guy to freeze to death in a cave, what is wrong with them????? or, okay, what is wrong with etho, pearl was against the idea. but, straight up tango did not plan for it to end this way, he had his whole life ahead of him and so many things ha still wanted to do! of course he cried when they left, what else was he supposed to do? thank etho for his awesome decision? be all cool and stoic and sacrifice himself? hell no, he didn't want to die, he never asked for this.
he did die tho, so. whomp whomp 🎺... i imagine he passed before pearl and etho even reached the stairs, so at least he didn't suffer for long. if he had a breakdown about being left alone he probably hyperventilated and inhaled like a ton more sculk, so that killed him even faster. must've sucked tho...
and then pearl, god, pearl.... she didn't encounter any dangers on the way back, since she wasn't trying to escape and the cave had no reason to be hostile towards her. but seeing how she was at the last stage before turning... she probably didn't get to tango before collapsing... not dying just yet, but too feverish and too weak to walk. but if tango was already back, he could very much go and find her. can you imagine the pure horror of drowning in your regrets as you slowly die and then having your supposedly already dead friend appear in front of you all cheery and oh so wrong. i dont know how much of tango is left in that thing, but the image of him sitting by pearl and holding her until she dies is so-- its haunting but it's sweet. and then there's still enough time to catch up with etho.
actually, gahhhh, all three pet povs are their own unique horror story and it's so good.
the horror of having to go through this terrifying experience, and then being the only survivor, knowing full well that the only reason you lived is because you left your friends to die, and there's no way of fixing it now.
the horror of everything falling apart around you because of miscommunication, and then the one time you decide to do it right you end up regretting every single decision and witnessing the direct result of your mistakes come for you.
the horror of being stupid... the horror of losing all control over your life and being betrayed in the moment of your most vulnerability, dying fully and utterly helpless.
this au is so sad but i love it so much...
okay wow that's enough for one post, ask more if you want tho!
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For those that think Ozzie doesn't care about the hierarchy or is somehow caught up in classism to actually want things to change for the lower class, I'd like for you to see this:
Look at the expressions each of the Deadly Sins wear as Blitz says this (except Belphagor since she's asleep so I didn't include her :/): Satan's is disinterested; Mammon's is gleeful; Leviathan's is cold (maybe sneering); Bee's is sad (as best as I can tell); but Ozzie's? That expression is more than just sad to me, it shows discomfort and guilt as he knows what Blitz is saying is true and he hates it. He also isn't looking away as if to try and make this blatant problem disappear, so that means he bears this weight on his conscience and it hurts; I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Ozzie (and likely Bee too) have tried in the past to make things better for all, only to be shut down like we saw in "Mastermind." :( In addition, while I can't speak for how well things truly are in Gluttony given how bad the Hellhound adoption agency seems to be, Lust at least seems to give its citizens the best quality of life from what we've seen, even though I know most of the population is incubi and succubi rather than imps and Hellhounds, but that's not nothing when we've seen how Greed and Wrath operate. :/
Yes, I know Ozzie's expression could also be related to how the trial went with Blitz being convicted, but considering Satan's bored/"I don't care" expression while Blitz is talking, I'm inclined to believe Ozzie's is related to what the other is saying about royals too. :/
So, as I saw on another post, maybe the question to ask isn't why Ozzie won't do anything and instead why he can't do anything because that is not the look of someone who is happy with the way things are for the lower class and is not blind to it. :( I mean, for goodness sake, Ozzie saw Fizz have a full-on breakdown in front of him about feeling like he's nothing without his title and barely worthy to even just work with a Deadly Sin, so even if Ozzie somehow didn't care about this issue or was unaware of it for THOUSANDS of years despite mingling amongst the deemed lower class all that time (so that means I highly doubt either was the case -_- ), he damn well would after that. (Yes, Fizz likely was dealing with internalized ableism too, but there's no way it was just that given how we saw Fizz's self-worth issues exist even before he lost his limbs, no doubt made worse by Cash Buckzo's influence as well :( ).
Also, just to put it out there since I haven't seen it mentioned yet, maybe we're shown this:
where they know Satan is uttering bullsh*t but don't say anything because it gives us a benchmark for setting up a future plot point of a royal civil war and we see which side of the fight they'd be on since they don't seem to like Satan and his forceful/harsh ways. :/ (Also, I'm pretty sure they'd be met with some form of punishment for speaking out against Satan, even if they are Deadly Sins too, so please consider that as well when it comes to reasons why they were silent; they have after all had thousands of years of experience dealing with Satan and how he'd likely respond :/).
#asmodeus#asmodeus helluva boss#helluva asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#beelzebub#beelzebub helluva boss#helluva beelzebub#helluva boss beelzebub#satan#satan helluva boss#helluva satan#helluva boss satan#mammon#mammon helluva boss#helluva mammon#helluva boss mammon#leviathan#leviathan helluva boss#helluva leviathan#helluva boss leviathan#helluva boss#vivziepop#screenshots#mastermind#helluva boss mastermind
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Not Strong Enough
Alexia Putellas x reader
Warnings: angst, relationship issues/breakdown
“Well I’m fucking sorry I’m not her Ale.”
“No you’re not your just a fucking disappointment.”
You stood frozen looking into the fridge cleaning up from a dinner you had made hours ago that Alexia hadn’t even bothered showing up for. You turn slowly looking at the clock behind her head “I don’t want to do this right now.” Alexia shook her head “no I’m so fed up with you, why honestly why can’t you just be like her.” You shook your head looking at the floor feeling your throat close “I don’t know why, I am the way I am I’m sorry I’m not her.” You couldn’t believe you where apologising, you had done nothing wrong but she was Alexia Putellas, La Reina she deserved someone who could match that she deserved Jenni Hermoso and no matter how hard you tried you never got close enough. You shook your head as Alexia just stared at you looking for a fight but you didn't have the energy instead looking up at the ceiling thinking of the ring that burnt a whole in your dresser wishing to be used, you had it all planned out but you saw that future slowly slipping away as Alexia began shouting again so loud you could barley here the song "Boys Don't Cry" playing from the speaker.
You turned to look at her as continued shouting about how much of a disappointment you where to hear, how you would never be enough and you wanted to look at her and hate her for her words but you found yourself believing them and therefore you couldn't hate her if you agreed with her. As the older girl continued to compare you to her ex you couldn't help but think of how you would never be able to be enough for her like Jenni was, you didn't play football, you weren't famous or an influencer you worked a desk job, a 9-5 week in and week out, you didn't have trophies or medals adorned with your name across them you simply had an office where you added up numbers how could an accountant from A Coruna.
You where simply an angel not a god like Jenni, no never a god
You couldn't move as Alexia shouted out all of the ways Jenni was better then you and you felt yourself suddenly begin to realise what was about to happen. This was it the ring in your dresser wasn't screaming at you to get out and be placed on Alexia fingers your mind wasn't telling you to fit the energy was gone.
"SAY SOMETHING" you looked up at Alexia as your eyes refocused and you where pulled back to present time "What do you want me to say Ale" you sighed heavily tired of it all "See this is what I mean at least Jenni would talk to me, communicate her feelings with me you shut off." you subbed your eyes god did they feel heavy. "Theres no point." you moved to the drawer taking out your car keys before heading upstairs to pack your bag.
Alexia stood shocked as you waled past her to the front door "At least Jenni would fight for us you are walking away such a disappointment." you turned shaking your head. "Yes Alexia such a disappointment like you already said, like you have said since this relationship started, I'm done I...I can't take the constant fights after you realise I'm not here and then feel the need to take it out on me its...its not fair.. and the sad part is I tried to be her but I'm sorry I failed at that because I can't....I am me and I thought you loved me for that but clearly I was wrong." Alexia shook her head "Don't make it out like I'm the bad guy you....you only got with me for my name for my status." You looked at her in disbelief how could she ever think that.
"I have loved you before your injury, I have loved you during your injury and the sad part is I will love you long after this injury is healed and you are back to La Reina but I won't be in the stands, who would want such a disappointment of a girlfriend screaming for their return no."
You chucked the keys at her as you walked out the door. Done with never being enough for her always being a disappointment and falling short for always only being an Angel and never a God, for never being Jenni Hermoso
#awfc#woso#woso fanfics#woso one shot#woso imagine#alexia putellas x y/n#alexia putellas#la reina#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#Alexia putellas x you#barca femeni#la roja
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Summary: After making a scene and storming out of Eddie's trailer, you're left to wonder if you even have a boyfriend anymore, since he hasn't spoken to you in three days.
a/n: congratulations. you bitches wore me down. you all know how much i HATE angst with no happy endings so enjoy me fixing it.
𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
word count: 3.3k
It’d been days since the fight in Eddie’s trailer. Days.
You were mad as hell when you’d left, so mad you almost appeared calm. You’d angrily cried on the drive back home, hot tears leaking steadily past your lashes as you scowled and you were sure they left a trail of mascara behind.
You’d dodged your mother when you got home, unwilling to face the barrage of questions she’d send your way that would no doubt trigger a breakdown. The last thing you needed was anyone asking if you were okay.
Besides, you thought you’d be fine. Eddie would get the point, come to his senses and be at your front door a little past dinner to apologize for hurting your feelings.
You’d composed yourself to the best of your ability while you ate, forking the food on your plate down with the excuse of having not had lunch when your mother started questioning you and then hurried back upstairs to your room.
Your landline was plucked from its place on your nightstand drawer and set on your bed in front of you. When half an hour passed, you assumed Eddie was still wrestling with his pride. When half an hour turned into an hour and a half, you started wondering if maybe he was still cooling down from the argument. He’d call.
By 2 a.m., the tears were back and speeding effortlessly from the corners of your eyes, down the bridge of your nose to meet your pillowcase as you realized he wasn’t going to call.
He didn’t call the next day, either. Or the day after that.
The two of you weren’t in school anymore, so you couldn’t track him down in the halls but you didn’t want to go find him. You wanted him to come find you, you wanted him to chase after you when you left his trailer, you wanted him to call you and tell you he loved you and you wanted him to not bring girls who wanted him the way you did over to his trailer.
You wanted Eddie. But you wouldn’t go crawling back, your heart may have been wailing in agony but your pride was howling at you, wounded and bleeding.
Were you broken up? You hadn’t intended for your exit to be the end, but by day three, you were starting to get the feeling it was over.
And despite how badly you wanted to, you couldn’t rot in bed. You had responsibilities, a job. You’d called into the arcade the first two days but you couldn’t put it off forever, couldn’t avoid leaving your house because you feared running into Eddie.
Yes, you were desperate to see him, but under your specific conditions. What if you ran into him and he confirmed the two of you were over? What if he was with that girl you’d seen leaving the trailer? He said he’d given her a deal for flirting with him, had it progressed? Was he rebounding?
The more you thought about it, the more sad you got. Samantha Stone, your former lab partner and current co-worker had stepped in to awkwardly comfort you when you kept dipping into the back room to cry and eventually sent you home with the promise she could handle the riveting crowd of three plaguing the arcade.
You’d kicked off your shoes and thrown your bag onto the floor the moment you got into your room, but you hadn’t changed, just fell face first onto your bed as your tears mingled with your comforter.
And that’s how you found yourself thinking about how long it had been since that damn fight. Maybe you were overreacting. Sure, Eddie had been a little intimidating in high school, but he’d also had no trouble in the romance department. He’d told you he’d been cynical about it, since it never went beyond sex, but he’d also said that had been before you had looked twice at him.
Unfortunately for you, the stupid ass curse that comes with having a boyfriend struck you. Now that Eddie had a girlfriend, all of a sudden he was a wanted man, even more so than he had been in the past.
You’d seen girls overstep, had been waiting for him in the van during a deal while you watched one reach a hand out to caress his arm and it had taken everything in you to not storm out of the van to tear the offending appendage off and beat her silly with it.
Maybe you really were just blowing things out of proportion because of your jealousy. Maybe you owed Eddie the apology. Would he even accept your apology? It had been days, after all. Maybe he’d take you back if you groveled. Tears were a no brainer, you were pretty emotional and aware you were in a somewhat manic state, so they’d come the moment you caught sight of him again. Your feelings, your love for him, and this stupid mess would overwhelm you.
You glanced at your phone, still poised on your bed and taunting you without a single ring. Your mother would have mentioned it if he called. He hadn’t.
You wanted Eddie.
That singular sentence plagued you, wrapping around your heart over and over again, constricting like a boa until you felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you were about to have a heart attack. You could hear the loud and insistent banging that was your heartbeat, beating in time with your much too fast breaths.
Eddie was the last thing you thought of before you shut down, body allowing exhaustion to overcome you to stop your impending panic attack.
You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, eyes prying open to your room shrouded in darkness. A lazy glance at the window confirmed night had fallen and you sagged further into your bedding, sighing when you remembered you’d fallen asleep in your work uniform which meant you couldn’t slip back under the veil of rest and peace until you’d gotten out of it.
You sat up, fingers gripping onto the hem of your shirt to lift it.
A flash of movement at the foot of your bed caught your attention just before you raised your shirt over your head and you nearly had a heart attack as you fell back, quickly reaching for your lamp.
The warm glow of it illuminated the room and revealed Eddie standing near the foot of your bed, hands up to show he meant no harm.
“Sorry,” he gave a brief huff of laughter, mouth pulled into a nervous smile, “didn’t mean to scare you. Your mom let me in.”
Your heart calmed instantly at the sight of him, but your anxiety made its presence known, sinking into your belly.
He’s here to break up with you, it whispered.
You pulled your shirt back down, smoothing it out to give you something to do. Suddenly, you were incapable of words, nonverbal as your mouth refused to part. Your heart had won the battle with your pride and was desperate to beg him to forgive you for overreacting, would say anything to get him to hold you but you were paralyzed.
Eddie cleared his throat, a hand reaching up to scratch his head before he sat down on the edge of your bed and you took him in.
The most apparent difference in his appearance was the dullness of his eyes and the bags under them. Eddie was usually so full of life, an eccentric being buzzing with a sort of energy at all times, even when he was pretending to be the cool, collected bad boy. Now, he looked tired. And he had a light dusting of scruff on his jaw and cheeks.
Eddie never had facial hair. Hated it. He’d tried it out once, he wasn’t fond of not being able to feel your kisses directly against his skin, and it made him itchy so it didn't last long.
He shaved everyday to make sure he could feel your lips on him and the reminder made tears pool at your waterline once more.
“Look, I─”
“I’m sorry!” You rushed out, cutting him off as emotion muddled your voice and made your throat thick with it. The tears followed, just as you’d predicted they would when confronted by Eddie, “I’m so sorry, you were right, I was overreacting! I was just jealous, you can bring whoever you want to your trailer, I know it’s just business. I was just stupid and jealous and upset, you were right to not call me, and I’m sorry!”
Eddie’s mouth parted, eyebrows rising in bewilderment.
Then he was kicking off his shoes and climbing onto your bed, softly hushing you as he pulled you into his arms and you sobbed against his shirt, relieved to finally have Eddie back.
You hadn’t thought he’d ever hold you again so you clung to him like a lifeline.
Eddie held you tight, hand rubbing comfortingly over your back as he pressed kiss after kiss to your head and nuzzled his face there, trying to make sense of what was happening.
After you’d left, he’d trashed his room. Well, more so than its usual state. He’d wanted you to come right back after you stormed out, was hoping you would—but like an idiot, Eddie just stared at the door as his mind replayed the entire conversation, emphasizing the moment he’d crossed the line. By the time he finally snapped out of his stupor and ran out after you, you were gone.
Eddie was frustrated with himself, so he took it out on his room. When that was done, he’d grabbed a beer from the fridge, a joint from his stash and got crossed on the couch out front as he thought about the fight.
He had no interest in anyone who wasn’t you. None. And for some reason, you didn’t understand just how much he loved you, how not a singular fucking person on this giant rock could compare to you. Not Cindy Crawford, not Pam Grier, not Irene Cara, not a single member of Metallica, no one.
You were Eddie’s favorite person. You were his person.
And he made you feel like shit. The longer he thought about it, the guiltier he felt. It was easy to write off your behavior as jealousy, but your jealousy hadn’t been unwarranted.
He couldn’t see the big deal about having her pick up weed from his place since she’d phoned to let him know she was already in the area, but when he imagined some random guy coming out of your home, you walking him out?
Eddie saw red. The thought alone knocked the air out of him and it was a feeling he was keen to not experience.
But you had. And instead of just owning up to his slip of the mind, he’d stuck to his guns and had promptly shot himself in the metaphorical foot, not before hurting you. You were upset, and you lashed out when you got like that. Eddie had realized a long time ago that you only made digs like that because you wanted him to tell you you were wrong without having to ask him.
Only, Eddie hadn’t told you that no, he didn’t give her a deal for being ‘pretty and flirty’ as you’d accused. She had been flirty—yes, he felt even more guilty when he thought about it—but he’d been blunt and brief, exchanging the bag of nugs for cash before he was sending her back the way she came. You’d just been on the other side of the door when he’d opened it for her to leave.
It looked fucking terrible. How the hell was he supposed to make this up to you??? He’d spent the remainder of the night lingering near the phone, picking it up and then putting it back on the receiver. Nothing he could think of was a worthy enough apology for you, and he assumed you didn’t even want to see him. Fuck, you’d been so upset.
He ended up passing out on the couch.
The next few days went the same, he tried to figure out what to say, how to to explain himself and dove for the phone anytime it rang. It was never you, but of course it was when Eddie was desperate to hear your voice on the other end of the line that all his usual customers had run out of weed and other things.
And she had called.
Eddie wasn’t stupid, she’d smoked with him and a group of friends at a party once, she hacked up her lungs and coughed herself into delirium after one pull; there was no way she’d finished what Eddie had supplied to her that quickly. It certainly didn’t help that she knew Eddie had you, and she still kept up the flirting. You were right, Eddie knew what she was trying to do and he was a shit boyfriend for not turning her down outright. Eddie had nipped that problem in the bud over the phone.
In his desperation, he’d done multiple drives by the arcade, too. You were never behind the counter, only that gothic chick that liked to curse people was.
He got anxious fast, hoping like hell that you hadn’t broken up with him. When it became too much for Eddie, who missed seeing your beautiful face, he caved in and drove to your house, despite the fact that you might not want to see him. When your mom let him in instead of throwing pots and pans at him like he’d imagined she would, Eddie figured you hadn’t told her about the fight which gave him hope.
Maybe you did still want him.
There was no light under your bedroom door and when he knocked you hadn’t answered but Eddie walked in anyways, heart clenching at the sight of you sprawled on your bed asleep.
God, how he’d missed you.
Eddie found himself blinking back tears as he stared down at you. It was selfish of him, but he really wanted to wake you up, touch you, hold you, kiss you.
And then he realized he was at your house uninvited, in your room, watching you while you slept. Could he get any fucking creepier? Jesus…
Eddie had been in the middle of pacing a circle in your carpet, trying to play out how this conversation would go when you stirred and he froze.
Then you sat up and he got a little excited when you started taking your shirt off, but Eddie was aware of how bad this could go if he didn’t announce his presence.
You hadn’t started yelling at him like he expected, no. What you did was worse. You were apologizing.
He’d been inconsiderate, he’d put himself in a situation that would look bad to literally anyone who saw him knowing he was in a relationship, had hurt your feelings—even more so because you’d apparently been waiting for him, wanting him this whole time and he’d just been holed up in the trailer, phone in hand but never dialing.
“Baby,” he mumbled against your head, leaning back and moving his hands to frame your face, thumbs wiping your tears away as he angled your head up at him so you could see the sincerity on his face, in his eyes, “you have nothing to be sorry for.”
You hiccuped and started, “But I─”
“Shh, no. Let me say this okay?” Eddie waited for you to nod and when you did, he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead and another to the tip of your nose.
“You didn't overreact or do anything wrong, sweetheart. You were right. I knew exactly how she felt, and while I promise you I had no intentions of letting anything happen, I still shouldn’t have had her over. If the roles were reversed, I would’ve been jealous, mad, and really hurt. She called, tried to come over again and I told her I’m in love with you and I’m not interested in her. If she needs to replenish her supply, she’ll have to get it from Rick from now on. And I’ve never given her a deal. The only person who gets free weed is you, pretty girl.”
You sniffled and his thumb stroked over your cheek once more. He added, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I wanted to, so badly, but I didn’t know what to say or if you even wanted me to. I've been dying to see you, drove past the arcade a ton of times just to see if I could get a glimpse of you—your coworker, the scary one, flipped me the bird whenever she saw me, by the way.”
That got a laugh out of you and Eddie grinned victoriously, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours, “I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” Your gaze dropped from his eyes, the brown in them now swirling with warmth, to his lips, “Can I kiss you?”
“Oh, baby. You don’t ever have to ask.” Eddie didn’t wait for you to make the first move, closing the small distance to press a deep, chaste kiss to your lips. Once you were returning his kiss, he got a little more insistent, you realized this was Eddie’s way of asking for reassurance and you were more than willing to give it to him, parting your lips so your tongues could meet again.
The two of you made out on your bed at a leisurely pace as you reaffirmed your love for each other. When things got heated, and you soon found yourself on your back with Eddie on top of you and between your legs, he pulled away from your mouth with a smack, and winced.
“I really want to have makeup sex, baby, but I’m about to pass out. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Rarely has Eddie slept without you, add in you being upset with him and he could barely sleep at all. The last thing he wanted to do was pass out while he was inside you and leave you unsatisfied.
You laughed, pulling him down for another kiss, “That's okay. We can fuck in the morning.”
Eddie let out the most pornographic moan at the mental image and you laughed again as you shushed him, “Eddie! My mom will hear you!”
Reluctantly he rolled off you to undress, yanking off his pants while you shimmied out of yours, pulled your shirt off and discarded your bra. When Eddie yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it towards the ground, you’d intercepted it and pulled it over your own head.
Eddie gave you a very appreciative onceover before he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will his hard-on away, “Down, boy.”
You snuggled up to his side, and he pulled you into his arms, throwing your blanket over the both of you and letting out a sigh of content as you nuzzled your face into his neck, “Fuck, I missed this. Missed you.”
“Missed you, too, Eds.”
“Next time you get mad at me, I’m sitting on the hood of your car so you can’t leave.”
“That’s fine with me.”
“Or maybe you can just kick my ass instead of leaving.”
“No, I like it too much.”
Eddie’s chest shook with quiet laughter and you smiled, eyes fluttering shut.
This time, when sleep finally overcame you, your heart wasn’t in pain or beating loudly in your ears. It was nestled against you, and snoring into your hair.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x reader angst#eddie munson blurb#stranger things#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x black!reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic
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I’m simply in love with your portrayal of Simon/Ghost. This fandom has so many incredibly talented writers, I am glad I stumbled upon your work! Your interpretation of his character is among my favourites 🥰 if it interests you, I would like to request a comfort fic w a femme reader who is perhaps not active on the field herself, but more on the intelligence/IT side of the operations (you can totally change this if you want, it’s up for your interpretation!) who is capable but suffers from insecurity and imposters sydrome (yep I am totally projecting🤫🤐) and during a mental breakdown bc of the stress from work, Ghost of all people, who she previously has only seen during a few briefings and never has approached bc of his intimidating reputation, finds her. Cue to the stoic scary big man who has previously only stared her down turning out to be actually very supportive and appreciative of her work because he always has noticed her. It’s up to you if want to keep it sfw or not! But a dash of softdom/service top sprinkled w some praise kink wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world🥴 I would love to see your take on this if this idea interests you, and it’s totally fine if it doesn’t 🥰 it’s always a pleasure to read your work regardless! Have a good one! ✌🏻💕
Thank you very much!! I appreciate that very much 🥹🫶🏻 I can definitely do this!
Support
– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader
— Ghost stumbles upon you, after-hours, during a breakdown.
Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.
It was approaching two in the morning. You were running solely on caffeine and nicotine- neither of which were helping your dry eyes or headache. The light of your monitors was the only source in the room, completely enshrouded by darkness as you stared blankly at the screens. You'd hoped it would help you focus, think more clearly, but so far it had only isolated you further, brought nothing but pressure and stress.
It wasn't supposed to be difficult, it was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be easy for you. You'd studied computer technology and engineering for years- built and coded programs for organizations all over the world. You'd worked within the military for nearly a decade, providing the most proficient and reliable support among your similarly-rated peers. You were quite literally an expert, but you didn't feel like it. Not with the unfinished assignment sitting before you.
Laswell, Price, the entirety of 141- they relied on you. They relied heavily on your abilities to guide them through their fieldwork, to do the digging they couldn't reach while on location. Though, as you leaned back in your chair, your lip red and raw with irritation, your back aching, you didn't feel reliable. You felt the familiar sting of failure, of total disappointment.
It bubbled up in your throat, escaping in a series of curses, shoving yourself away from the desk before you wound up damaging thousands of dollars of equipment. You paced, stared, and paced. Your mind swimming with questions, re-thinking every sequence, every key, every exhaustive search you could possibly pull- and still hadn't decrypted the data.
Your hand slammed down on the desk, scattering the pens and piles of paperwork you'd accumulated over the many hours you'd spent stewing in front of the code screen. The cursor blinked at you- waiting, taunting you, filling you with dread.
"Y'alright in here?"
A gruff voice pulled you from your anxious stupor, and you yanked your hand from the desk, gasping sharply. You looked up, finding Ghost at the doorway.
In the dark, you could hardly make out his silhouette, but the outline of his mask was a stark contrast against the pitch-black room.
"Didn't mean t'scare you," He said, taking a few steps forward. "Heard somethin' in here."
You let out a sigh, your heartbeat relaxing back into its regular rhythm.
You'd heard his voice before, usually over the comms, and seen him during briefings, but you'd never spoken in person. You knew he had a reputation for being tough and commanding; it put you on edge watching his looming figure in the darkness. He was undeniably intimidating, especially as he stalked toward you.
You stepped back, letting him around the desk to see your monitors.
"You're up late," He said, examining the screen.
"Trying to decode this shit," You huffed, forgetting about his domineering presence once you refocused on your failure. "It's taking me longer than it should."
"Looks complicated," He replied, his eyes meeting yours briefly.
"It is. It shouldn't be, but it is," You sighed again, sitting down as he looked over your shoulder.
"How long you been at this?"
You ignored his question, leaning in to further examine the code screen.
"It's late. You should sleep, get back to it in the mornin'."
You furrowed your brows, looking over your shoulder to find him closer than expected.
"I don't need sleep," You shook your head. "I need to figure this out. I'm close."
An epiphany sparked in your head- a brute force attack you hadn't yet tried. You quickly typed in the keys, waiting with baited breath as the screen paused.
A flickering script reading 'denied' came across your screen, typed out in front of you for confirmation. Validation that you'd failed, again.
"Fuck!" You shouted, cradling your head in your hands. "I-I can't figure this shit out, I can't do it." Your voice broke, hoarse with strain.
You looked up at him, your eyes now watery with frustration and anger.
"'Ey," He said, leaning forward. "Relax. I dunno much about this shite, but seems you're doin' alright."
You tilted your head. "Laswell needs these documents for Shepherd tomorrow, and I've got nothing to show for it. It'll be my ass getting dismissed. It's not alright."
"Shepherd can wait," He said. "You've saved our arses more than a few times."
"It's not enough."
"It's more than enough. Relax, you're givin' me a bloody headache."
"I can't relax," You looked up at him with blood-shot eyes.
"If anyone can do it, 't's you. Seen you handle worse than this." He gestured to the screen, a flippant motion.
You sucked in a deep breath, nodding slowly. You were more than shocked to hear the comforting words from Ghost. A man revered for his deadly hands, ferocity. The irony made you giggle, short and quiet, though he heard it.
"What's funny?" He asked, moving to lean against the desk.
"Just didn't expect you to be so supportive. Appreciative."
"I see what you do," His gaze was unwavering as he stared you down. "Couldn't do it m'self. Owe you my life, if not more."
"Not quite," You quirked up a brow.
"Yeah- quite. Raid in Las Almas, no other escape routes, Price called you in and we were on the way out in minutes."
You bit your cheek, nodding slowly, your eyes shutting as you digested his words. He was right- you'd done your fair share of evac and location support, never losing a soldier. Regardless of how horribly the assignment was going, you couldn't deny only you had the capacity to complete it.
"Thanks," You nodded, looking up at him. "I'm just in my head, stressed out."
He cleared his throat, sitting up a bit straighter.
You leaned back, grabbing a cigarette from the nearly-empty pack on the desk, and lighting it up.
"You want one?" You asked, offering him the package.
He took one, offering a quiet, "Cheers."
He lifted the cover of his mask up above his nose- it took every ounce of strength not to immediately watch his lips as he stuck the cigarette between them. Even then, your eyes glanced at the newly-discovered flesh, diverting your gaze when he locked eyes with you.
You inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine coat your lungs, before exhaling into the monitors before you.
"Should get some sleep," He said, standing up.
"Yeah," You nodded, shifting to lean forward. "Yeah, I will. Just a bit longer."
He sighed, bringing his gloved hand down on the keyboard.
"I'll break it in half if I need to," He said, his voice low and threatening.
You swallowed, raising your brows at the unexpected reaction.
"Alright," You huffed.
You stood to your feet, putting your cigarette out on the ashtray beside your mouse. He did the same, arms folding over his chest as he waited for you to leave your station.
His adamant opposition to letting you continue was admirable. Attractive, even. You hadn't anticipated feeling grateful, or happy to have had him find you.
You'd kept your distance from him, though you'd always find your eyes gravitating toward his. He'd already be staring, watching you from across the briefing room. At first, you'd been terrified, wondering if you'd done something to piss him off, but nothing ever came of it. Instead, he'd lift his head to find you, check over his shoulder to look at you.
He found you intriguing, attractive. A brilliant woman; smart, educated, someone he was glad to have on his team. He'd seen the countless hours you put in, the calm tone of your voice every time there was a stress signal from one of the men. You held it together for them- the least he could do was the same for you.
He liked the way your eyes studied the screen, the way you'd chew your lip raw. Though it wasn't in your best interest, he found it alluring. His mind wandered when he'd see you, nothing appropriate at all- only to satisfy the heat that curled itself inside his intestines when he laid his eyes on you.
He remembered seeing you for the first time, wondering who you were: laptop on the desk, pen in hand, bright-eyed and eager to please. Immediately, he'd fabricated images of you in his mind- images that he'd play through during the lonely hours of the night.
"Why are you up?" You asked suddenly.
"Couldn't sleep. Don't sleep much."
You shook your head, "And yet, you're lecturing me." A small smile lifted your lips.
"For your own good," He answered.
"That's interesting," You mumbled.
"Why's that?"
You breathed in, "You've only ever stared me down, don't think we've had a conversation before."
"Y'can say a lot without talkin'," He retorted.
"I wasn't sure whether you wanted to fuck me or kill me," You grinned.
"What's the consensus?"
"Still not sure," You held back a grin.
"Would've killed you by now."
You laughed, "That's not very comforting."
"Should be. Only leaves the former."
He moved closer, standing up straight as he unhooked his legs.
You were pleasantly surprised, though your nerves had been roused from their short slumber. Heat washed over your cheeks, climbing up your spine before returning to the crest of your thighs.
"Think y'could use some stress relief," He said. "Y'seem pent-up."
You pulled your lip between your teeth, your eyes shifting between his. It was tempting, more than your mortal being could possibly resist.
"Maybe," You uttered, your hands twitching with anxiety as he neared you.
He cocked his head, "Maybe ain't an answer."
"Yes," You blurted. "I could. But not if you're taking pity on me."
He chuckled, a sound you'd never heard before from him, though it was somewhat deformed. Amusement and disbelief rather than enjoyment.
"Sweetheart," He cooed, his chest nearly pressed against yours. "It ain't pity. Y'should know better."
"We'll, you're not exactly approachable," You said, tilting your head to meet his gaze. "Haven't had the pleasure of speaking with you before."
He nodded, "S'alright," He said. "Had enough o' watchin' from afar, though."
You breathed out, long and cathartic as it passed your lips. Releasing every worry and anxiety, relieved to be able to focus solely on him- on Ghost.
His hand reached your waist, softly pulling you into him, finally connecting your bodies. You let out a quiet grunt, your hands raised at your sides as you took in the feeling of his body against yours.
"Y'can touch me," He grinned. "I won't bite 'less you ask."
As if you weren't already aroused, soaking your panties, he only made it worse. The heat of his hands on your waist had drawn out any thoughts in your head, his voice so close- so clear in front of you was mesmerizing.
You apprehensively moved your hands to rest on his shoulders, your palms gliding against the taught muscles, another extended sigh as you tried to ignore the burning in your gut. He liked the contact, your small hands searing a brand into his skin.
He stared at you for a few moments, his eyes raking over your face, the face he'd seen in his dreams more than anywhere else. He must've made a pact with the devil, something sacrificed to have you in his hands- finally.
He leaned in, soft lips touching yours. It was fleeting, the softness, before he backed you against the desk with no regard for the equipment on it. Still, his lips held your attention, his tongue gliding between your lips to clash against yours. It was open-mouthed, messy, especially as he lifted you to the desk and bullied himself between your thighs.
You moaned faintly when his hand slid down your side, taking a handful of your ass and squeezing harshly. His other hand worked your shirt off your torso, parting only for a moment when the fabric passed your neck. His hands on your bare skin created a feeling of tightness in your gut- especially as he squeezed and grabbed at you, truly appreciating the curves of your body against him.
To your chagrin, he was still fully clothed, in his fatigues, like he lived in them. Even at two A.M., the man never quit. You weren't complaining; you rather liked the sight of his fitted uniform, especially as it squeezed his forearms and thighs, showing the bulk of muscle and veins beneath tattooed skin.
You were antsy, however, to feel him. All of him, against you.
"Take it off," You whispered against his lips, tugging at his jacket with clenched fists.
"Bossy woman you are," He teased, pulling away as he unbuttoned the shirt.
"I know what I want," You shot back, your eyes now narrowed in on him.
He hummed, satisfied with your answer. "That so?"
You nodded, smug and prideful, a sense of power- you had complete control. Your hands supported your weight behind you, leaning back, watching the show as he stripped from the shirt. It fell off his torso, revealing the toned muscles beneath, and he yanked the other sleeve off with impatience.
Your jaw was slack, looking over him as he neared again. This time, his hand slid up your throat, gripping the delicate area with a firm hold. He forced your eyes to meet his, a noticeable grin on his lips.
"You listen to me, sweetheart," He said, in your face. "And I'll take care o'you. Spread your legs."
You shivered, an audible gasp leaving your lips. The things you'd have done to hear filthy words leave his mouth- the voice that rung in your ears at night, made your pussy flutter. Now, he'd offered his services to you, rather enthusiastically, too, admitting he'd wanted it for a long time. If nothing else made you feel better about your shit progress, he surely could.
He kept eye contact while his hand worked open your pants, pulling them and your panties down your legs with speed and precision. He wasted no time pressing your thighs to your chest, tucking you into an uncomfortable position before kneeling in front of you.
"No thinkin'," He warned. "'Less it's about cummin' on my face."
Your head fell back, groaning softly, lifting back up again only when he pressed his lips to your pussy. Then, you watched with anticipation building in your gut, trembling in your limbs and a heavy ache settling in your womb.
He slid a warm tongue between your folds, a gentle touch you hadn't expected from the brute of a man. He watched you the entire time, took in the sight of your lips parting, sucking in a long breath, shutting your eyes as you basked in the pleasure. He couldn't help but form a grin, his lips engulfing your pussy in an open-mouthed kiss.
His attention moved to your clit, faint licks crossing the sensitive area that coaxed quick jolts from your body. He settled into a rhythm, and your body adjusted accordingly, leaning into the new and overwhelming feeling.
"Yeah, right there," You said, a hushed tone, like you were speaking to yourself.
He grunted in response, another warning.
"Sorry," You said again. "Feels so good." It was a quiet whine.
You wanted to run your fingers through his hair, grab at something, anything that would connect you to him, so you settled for his forearms. Your palm gripped the flesh of his arm, squeezing, just as he did to your thighs.
His tongue expertly traced your clit, circles and delicate licks that made your back arch, opening yourself up for him to taste.
"That's it," He uttered, muffled by your pussy. Even speaking against you made you clench, stare down at him with lust on your face. "There's a good girl."
You exhaled, nodding in agreement, submission to his mouth as he returned to his rhythm, falling in tandem with the heavy breathing leaving your chest. His eyes hadn't left you, watching and studying your expression for every hint of pleasure. He was intent on learning exactly what you like, though it was difficult to discern through the flurry of expressions on your face.
Your brows drawn together, jaw open as you choked down a gasp, breathing heavily into the dark room. He could make out your face, but your silhouette was blackened against the light of the monitors. He could see the swell of your breasts, your thighs, the curve of your waist against the backlight. He could even see your eyes, when you'd drop your head to watch him devour you.
You began to shake, tensing against his mouth when he continued at a consistent pace. He was thorough in every aspect of life- this was no exception. He didn't let up, even when your pussy drooled with cum, instead, he licked it up with his tongue, moaning softly against you at your taste.
He stood to his feet, unbuckling his belt as he stared at you. Your chest heaved, toes curled, leaning back as you watched him. The light danced on his abdomen, highlighting every hill and dip on his torso, the scars that scattered the skin. It was a sight that had your brain resetting, recovering as though you hadn't been covered in a layer of sweat and left breathless from your orgasm.
His cock stood erect when he yanked his trousers down, and he didn't stall any longer. He stalked forward, leaning into you, his hand on the desk behind you as he pushed his cock through the tight barrier of your hymen. He was absorbed, swallowed by soft inner-muscles and velvety walls, slick with your cum and arousal.
He pressed his lips to yours again, not allowing for much deliberation or accommodation- he was far too aroused to wait. You planted your heels against the desk as he thrusted his entire length into you, quickly meeting your cervix with a gentle graze. It made you suck in a sharp breath, and move away from his lips.
You saw his eyes, the look of possession and pure lust in them. You merely stared at each other, a nauseating intimacy while he thrusted inside you, further disturbing your lower stomach with a tightness.
"Oh God," You choked, your hands reaching around his shoulders, clinging to him. "Don't stop- don't fucking stop."
His hand reached around you, holding you against him, the other gripping your thigh with a bruising constraint.
"Fuckin' Christ, you're tight, sweetheart," He breathed in your ear. "You all wet for me?"
You nodded, breathing an enthusiastic yes into his ear, clenching at his back with your fingers. Your nails dug into the slick flesh, feeling his muscles move as his hips tilted back and forth into you.
All you could smell, hear was him. The scent of his heavy body soap, like pine, mixed with the cigarette you'd offered him earlier. His breathing in your ear, heavy pants as he relished in the tightness of you- the slippery walls encroaching on his cock.
"Such a good fuckin' girl," He mumbled against your neck, his lips dragging against your skin. "Say you're a good girl," His voice rumbled through his chest. "Fuck me- all for me."
It was haze-inducing, incoherent mumbles, quiet gasps and sobs as you clung to him. It worsened when his fingers played your clit, sliding between your bodies to rub over the sensitive spot.
"I'm a good girl," You gasped. "I'm your good girl."
"'At's right, sweetheart- takin' me nice and deep."
It didn't take long to clench around his cock, another wave of nauseating pleasure that rendered you absolutely useless as he drove into you.
"Fuckin' hell," He stuttered.
You'd constricted his cock, pulsating around him with every contraction, nearly sobbing into his shoulder when he continued with his thrusts.
He finally pulled out, tugging on his cock as he released his cum over your stomach. He exhaled sharply, before gathering his composure.
You grimaced as you stood to your feet, trying to clean yourself off as best you could.
You watched him shrug his jacket back on.
"Get some rest," He nodded once, gesturing to the doorway. "I'll check on you tomorrow."
"Is 'check on me' an innuendo? Should I wear my good underwear?" You grinned, pulling your pants back over your backside.
"I'd shag you if y'had on a bin bag, sweetheart."
"You're sweeter than you let on," You teased, laughing.
"Not for most," He cocked his head. "Guess you're lucky."
"Well, thank you," You smiled.
It was genuine. A distraction, however unexpected and unusual, that did make you almost forget about the assignment.
"I'll be around," He paused. "If you're feelin' like takin' your frustrations out."
"Goodnight, Lieutenant."
He walked off with a short nod. You paused for a moment; the temptation to curl yourself up at your desk and continue your assignment was gnawing at you. You clenched your jaw, took a deep breath in when you recalled Ghost's words, and finally decided to turn off the monitors.
#cod mw2#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost smut#simon riley smut#cod mwii#mwii#simon riley#strlingsavwrites#ghost x you
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Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Downfall part 3
Ultimately, I associate the Wizard Breakdown Tracker with Aeor; I began it during the middle of the Nein's Aeor arc, and even bringing it back for the Nein reunions feels like it's missing something. That thing, it turns out, is a city of Wizard Hubris.
There are no wizard PCs so we can dispense with the formalities. For the purposes of this post, while The Raven Queen is an ex-wizard, Emhira isn't and is counted as a warlock, and The Raven Queen is counted as just a straight up god. As always, in no particular order, and if a wizard is not mentioned it's because I didn't have anything funny nor serious enough to say about them.
Calamity-era Wizards
Adamar: literally no idea. I think he was stressed but he got vaporized by Meteor Swarm (completely within the realm of mortal achievement btw; Imogen Temult could take it in 4 levels) before things really broke bad. Like 7/10; he was in pitched combat but he had 3 dragons and a bunch of demons on his side.
Primarch Selena: There are going to be a few wizards in this who truly do embody a more profound breakdown than anything we've seen before. Selena is one. What does it mean to be so good at creating a mortal-made form of life that the god of beauty chooses to reside in this when picking a vessel? What does it mean to realize in the same instant that your life's work is what doomed you and its target is standing in front of you and now holds your life in their hands? In the end, she doomed her city twice while also actively repenting; it's not just gods who contain multitudes and conflict. But also 10/10.
Arcadia Cerenvetorix: Well, she got tricked by Asmodeus and stuffed in a bottle. Asmodeus did a good job of imitating her too which, as a deity of truth and knowledge cannot feel great, to know that Guy Whose Thing Is Lying has your number even if he is technically lying and therefore in his wheelhouse in pretending to be you. Then she gets let out having been saved by SILAHA, who as a result of saving her, cannot stop Selena. I have to imagine this series of consequences drives some of her decision making in the very end, although at that point she is technically not a wizard and therefore out of the scope of this post. Anyway, 9/10; she did almost die.
Cassida Previn: There's no option for this other than 10/10. Her revelations were delivered with far less kindness than even Selena's; we see her break. She has time to consider that her good intentions have doomed Aeor as well as find the deity she's risked execution to serve is a more complicated being than what she expected and does not approve of her greatest act of service. And that's before we consider that the Society of Primes is implied to have not been successful (we don't know, since the Factorum Malleus is never fired, so it could be a bluff; but the Primes are heavily indicated to be in just as much danger) and that's also before her final moments are being presumably tortured by Asmodeus. I don't know if she really renounced The Everlight; Asmodeus lies, but it's not an unexpected consequence. As The Everlight says, it doesn't matter; she was well within her rights to feel however she felt in those last moments and it does not erase all that she did before. If she didn't it was a lie from Asmodeus, and if she did, she is forgiven entirely.
Those guys who were dragons for a hot second: Honestly? What a way to go. I wouldn't even be mad. 6/10.
The Wizards In The Cognouza Ward: THEY LEFT SO EARLY. AND FOR WHAT. Like, yes, yes, you want to show the moment so you have to do it pretty early on because you won't have the viewpoint of the divine entities later on since they'll be in the Genesis Ward, but COME ON MAN. It really is like...you could have been The Ring of Brass to Aeor. If you wanted to sound the early warning you could have done some strategic teleporting of as many people you could get onto Exandria, despite the storm, and hell, you could have taken a long rest and planeshifted the next fucking day if you had to go to the Astral Plane so badly but nooooo you had to fuck everyone else over. I mean does anyone deserve a millennium of madness and horror as Cognouza eventually became? no. But like, maybe a few years for this bullshit. 5/10 because it isn't bad yet because they jumped the fucking gun. and again. for what.
843 PD Wizards watching this or just hanging out elsewhere
Essek Thelyss: I imagine he is like those pictures of the math lady except he fully understands the math. Absolute mind blown. Trying to figure out the Luxon's relationship to Tengar if there is one. Wondering why Aeor was working on Cognouza and the Factorum Malleus and not their various Luxon experiments. Trying to figure out if the gods used the same principle as consecution. Trying to reconcile the image of Lolth as weirdly adorable with the horrors he knows his people escaped. Also he has been watching a movie for like 13-ish hours but I wonder if floating means his legs haven't fallen asleep. 6/10.
Allura Vyesoren: I really like to imagine she messaged one of Bells Hells and they were like "can I call you back later we're watching a movie" and she is just like I am getting too old for this shit. 4/10 in like, the relative sense of all wizards in this 843 PD narrative are dealing with an existential threat but like within that context, 4/10.
Caleb Widogast: I feel like the Nein would be best deployed to Ria'Doin but he might be on some other weird mission given that Essek was sent to Aeor in his place, and hopefully, we get a one-shot out of this. For me. Anyway though for practical reasons he did just hear from Essek recently and Trent seems gone for good so, within the broader "Ludinus Da'leth is fucking over existence" context, also like a 4/10.
Yussa Errenis: Really hard to tell! What unhinged fuckery that doesn't require physically leaving the house is this small bastard (affectionate) up to. Is he on the moon? Is Nicodranas on a nexus point thus sending him to some far-flung region of Exandria? Did he try to question Halas and get trapped in the gem? Is he just ignoring Iva Deshin? Anyway given his track record I am going to say 9/10 and he is in some kind of peril that is low-key his own fault, but it's anyone's guess.
Astrid Becke: Imagine being screwed over so hard you have to go undercover in retail. I think that fantasizing over who gets to land a killing blow in D&D Actual Play is not terribly interesting; what happens happens, and such fantasies are usually a dull slog of "who is wronged most" which is never good. With that said I don't think she is the most wronged, if that's even a metric one can know; and also I know this is not going to happen given her very tangential nature as a minor NPC in the story being told here; and I don't think I am speaking about a just or kind world in this fantasy; but in a world that aims for justice but lands in pettiness, she would get the final blow on Ludinus Da'leth. 7/10.
Ludinus Da'leth: There's a tumblr-famous post in which someone makes a lot of wild-ass claims about the status of, iirc, women who spun thread in medieval Europe and then when people were like "I don't think that's right" posted a fuckload of links and the phrase "*steeples fingers*" and then someone actually clicked on the links and was like "uh none of these back up your point, actually; most of them have little to do with it and what few do address it either contradict what you are saying, or are similarly unsourced from non-experts." Anyway I think we can all see the value in checking the citations and vetting your sources here, a lesson The Martinet seems to have failed to internalize. He is however either at a 3/10 or an 8/10 depending on precisely how up his own ass he is and whether he realizes he showed footage far too complicated to make but a single easy argument.
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Neo Gothic III
A/N: Sorry it took so long for the next part! I went to a party and drank wayyyy too much wine. Uni's picking up a lot too so im still settling back into my routine. I hope you guys enjoy! Also MGG Reading my favourite poem??? I had to.
Summary: After the case in Texas, a new pattern emerges that links you and the crimes. Spencer is there to dull any of your worry, consoling your worry.
(When you get to the poem, I recomend listening to this. Trust me.)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Bibliography
A week had passed since Spencer had asked you on a date, yet there just hadn't been the right time for yet. Obviously, your finals were important, but Spencer had been helping you study after work. This is where you discovered how fast the man can actually read, making that night in the motel seem that much more special to you. These could be considered study dates, but when broaching that subject with Spencer, her would always shake his head.
"No, I want to do this properly." Is all he'd say. Not sure what this means, maybe he wants to go oldschool? Dinner and a movie, or maybe the arcade and a walka round the park? Either way, time spent with him was something to cherish in your point of view.
During one of these study dates that weren't study dates, the topic of profiling came up once more.
"Would you ever think about it?" His head was propped on hi shand as he looked up from a book in front of him, breaking the silence tha had filled his living room before.
"Think about what, Spencer?" Brow knitted in slight confusion
"Profiling. Getting into the classes at the academy. I think its worth thinking about." Honey coloured eyes met yours, they were soft and full of some adoration.
He had asked you a few times since the case you had assisted on. The confidence the boy genius had in you was touching, if misguided in your opinion. The truth of the matter was that you would love to, you just didn't think you were qualified. The breakdown upon discovering there had been a new victim was not a moment you wanted to relive, or the feeling of abject disgust at the image of the dead victims. Dissasociating from the truth of the images would only work so long, most of the reason you had been able to stomach was only due to you telling yourself they were actually images from a horror movie. Truthully, the guts that it took to do this job weren't something you were sure you were equipped with. Explaining this to Spencer many times, he would reassure you of his belief in you, but he understood your apprehension. He coudln't argue with your opinion of the gore however, he understood fully that there was a big difference in real violence and fake, and that dissaociating the victims like that wouldn't be healthy.
Still, he would persist. Shamefully, you had to admit that the walls you'd built around the idea were slowly coming down.
"How would I even get into the academy? You all have psychology degrees, or field experience. You're literally a genius. What do I have in comparison to that?" Laying the book you'd been reading face down, you sat upright to face him properly
"Practically, you'd think that would help but a lot of this comes down to knowledge. You've been absorbing more knoweledge from us that I think even you realise, and your subconcious brought it out when you were with us in Texas. It's like your brain has stored this because it knows you want to profile, because you know you'd be good at it even if you won't admit it to yourself. And because you know you want to help people." His smile was contagious as he spoke, so elequently about his faith in your abilities "And with a reccomendation from Hotch, you could be put into the academy after you graduate if you really wanted."
"Hotch would do that?" You raised a brow, unsure of Spencer's claim
"If I asked him to, yes." He was ammused by his own comment, a laugh escaping his lips "He thinks you have potential too though. I don't think he would take much convicing."
"If I say i'll think about it, can we get back to studying? I should probably get this degree out of the way before I start considering an entire career." A small smile graced your lips as you spoke, but finally spencer relented his pestering.
Truthully, he wasn't the only person who had been asking you about your thoughts on becoming a profiler. JJ had been dropping hints about how she technically was in a similar position to you when she started her training. Emily and Derek had been less subtle, parking themselves at your desk whilst discussing case details, and then asking you to weigh in. Clearly trying to perform some sort of reverse psychology on you, hoping you wouldn't notice their secret agenda. The atmosphere around the office was lighter though, as if you finally felt settled into the department. Knowing your co-workers sparked a new found joy in your job that made their offers all the more tempting.
2 Weeks after the replication case, you had finished your finals. The team had been sent to Colarado on a case, so you celebrated the end of your finals on your own, watching as many horror movies as you could in the 48 hours you had finally to yourself. The team had wrapped the case Saturday night, and hadn't picked up a new case yet, so you were eager to finnaly catch up with them all after their week long absence. Exiting the elevator, you made your way to your desk, placing your bag in its usual spot. The team were no where to be seen around the bullpen, noticing the shades of the conference room were drawn however, you'd assumed they had called onto a case. Before getting settled, Hotch's head popped out of the slightly ajar door, beckoning you over with a stern look. Not completely unusual, you were often sent on burracratic errands of file retriving for them for cases, so you didn't think twice when entering the room.
There, gathered around the table, was the whole team with huge smiles on their faces. There was a a few balloons, one saying 'Congratulations!' In winding Purple lettering, with a few small wrapped boxes beside a tray of muffins and coffee from your and Penelope's favourite coffee shop. With a start, the team all cheered "Congratualtions" as you entered, a warm feeling of happiness spreading through your chest as you took in the sight.
Penelope attacked you with a hug, whilst the group all said their congratulations.
"Guys... This is amazing. Thank you..." Was all you managed to say as JJ pulled you into a tight hug
"I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you." JJ held your shoulders with a small squeeze, flashing a prideful look to you. JJ knew you had no living family, and a part of you wondered if she had a hand in orchastrating the surprise due to this. Either way, you were thankful for the teams enthusiasm at your upcoming graduation.
"Well, don't get your hopes up yet everyone, I don't get my results for another week. I don't even know if I passed yet." Smiling at the fuss, the team interjected with protest
"Of course you will have, you had our boy genius here helping you. And you certainly knew your stuff already." Derek slid his arm around your shoulders affectionatly, making your smile widen.
Spencer made his way over to you and gave you a quick, but tight hug. Whispering a small "Well done" into your hair before he pulled away.
"Ok, we have presents!" Garcia announced happily "Of course, we went in on the muffins, your favourite, lemon and poppyseed but without the lemon curd in the middle. Annnnddd-" She picks a cup up and hands it to you "Your favourite, Salted caramel Mocha with whipped cream. An absolute sugar nightmare but that is something you and our boy genius have in common after all. OH! And we have actual presents!" She claps happily, everyone her infectious glee as she flittered around the space, grabbing your hand for you to sit. One by one the group gave you their small gifts. Derek and Emily had given you a copy of book you'd been talking about, Penelope had bought you a little ceramic bat to keep on your desk, Whilst Rossi had bought you an empty frame, stating "Well, you'll need somewhere to put your degree in when you get it." The gifts were thoughtful, and showed how much the team had grown to appreciate you, even in a few weeks. Finally, Spencer stepped forward and handed you a small package. Unwrapping it with a curious smile, you were taken a back.
It was a first edition of Dracula, you gasped and clamped your had over your mouth in shock. You were in disbeleif that Spencer had managed to find this, and that he thought to give it to you.
"Spencer, this is too much! How much did this cost you?" The breath was absent from your lungs as you spoke, utterly taken back at his gesture. The team seemed to be equally surprised, they were still in the dark about yours and spencers recent tryst, so the gesture to them seemed all too much for supposedly platonic friends.
"Geez spence, is that a first edition?" Emily asked, eyebrows shooting up
"I have some connections." Was all he said, a teasing smile as he shrugged his shoulders. Still in disbeleif, you stood and gave Spencer another quick hug before Hotch's phone ringing interupted. Excusing himself, he returned a few moments later with a solemn expression
"Im sorry to interupt, but we have a case." His tone was morose, as usual when news of a new case hit. The pang of saddness hit everyone, any smile disolving as the team began to gather around the table. Collecting your things, you began to make your exit when Hotch held his hand up, making you to still your movements. "You might need to stay for this, Y/N."
Confusion painted your features, as did it the rest of the teams, yet you joined the others in a spare seat next to Spencers.
"Garcia?" Hotch spoke as she typed on her tablet, pausing before meeting your eyes
"Uh huh, just a second.... Y/N you might want to look aweay from the screen." Heeding her advice, you angled yourself away from the screen and in turn, more towards Spencer.
"Ok so, we have an Unsub right here in Virginia. He has been... Replicating the deaths of men in... Gothic fiction novels..." Penelopes voice trails off as she looks to you, the air shifts to one of uncertainty. One crime happening to do with the gothic was a conicdence, another unsub doing the same isn't.
"What are the chances of two seperate unsubs operating under the same MO just two weeks a part?" Emily asked, but Spencer shook his head
"Statistaically very low, these crimes have to be connected" He looked at the screen in search. "What do we know?"
"Well, currently we are on a body count of 3. The victims overlap with our previous unsub by one. They weren't conncted till now when local authorities ran it through VICAP and saw the similarities with the Texas case. We need to operate under the assumption the cases are linked until proven otherwise. Hence, your presance, L/N. Considering your recent completion of your degree and your field of expertise, I'd like to ask you to act as informant to us once more." Hotch turned to you, passing you Penelope's tablet.
"The crimes so far have replicated that of Dracula, This time replicating the title characters death. Down to the, um, beheading and..." Penelope trailed off "burning of the body..."
"I bet if the body was intact there would be evidence of a stab wound to the chest too, if he's like the texas case he'll have replicated this perfectly." You added softly, Reid gave you en encourging nod.
"The strength and accuracy of these crimes absolutely allude to the unsub being a man, the strength needed to behead someone like that is no joke." Morgan added, you nodded.
"The gothic is also very induvidual to a person, like any novel you get what relates to you from them. What other novels were replicated Pen?"
"Um, that would be the death that kicks off the castle of Otranto, yanno the... crushing thing with the suit of armour, and then with the latest vic he escaleted. Replicating Frankensein, except instead of digging up graves he just, put the vic back together..." Penelope's heart dropped, as did yours. Taking a deep breath you braved a glance at the screen. Images of violence you'd never thought humanity capable of, images you believed to be works of fiction. A pang of saddness hit your chest, when the feeling of a hand softly rubbing your shoulder broke you out of the trance you hadn't realised you were in. Turning your attention back to Spencer, who's hand rested softly on your shoulder, you gained back your clarity once more.
"So each crime he's becoming less and less precious about accuracy, so if the crimes in Texas were almost like a test run, and we interupted, then maybe he's deescalting?" Looking around the room, JJ's brow knits as she thinks.
"If you're right,then we need to figure out the significance of the gothic for our unsub, and hwy he recruited our last unsub to start the crimes in Texas. Why replicate these deaths? Why change victimology from women to men?" JJ stared at the screen.
"He breaks the boundries of literary releveance too. He goes from late 19th century, to late 18th, and then to early 19th. There's no organisation, and I can't think of any particularly strong links between the novels theme wise from the top of my head. I'd have to go back home and look through my notes. But the form fits the previous case. Dracula to start, from my experience its the novel that gets most people into studying the genre to begin with, its theatrical and camp, and in some ways epitomises the genre. But the Castle of Otranto is the birth of the gothic story, its the first story that used the word gothic for a ghost story rather than as a slur or to describe something medieval. But then we go to Frankenstein, arguably the gothic nature comes from the setting it was written in rather than the actual story, its mostly attributed to science fiction than the gothic but it teeters the edge." You ramble, once again zoning out asa you stare to the tablet in your hand, scanning through your knowledge to find any kind of link between the novels.
"Ok, L/N, Take Reid to your appartment to look through your notes, you'll get through them quicker that way. Emily and JJ head down to the recent crime scene and see if you can lend any fresh eyes to the locals. Derek and Rossi head to the local ME and find out what you can from the examiner on the victims. Penelope and I will stay here to find connections between the current victims." Hotch and the others quickly gather their things, giving you one last congratulations before exiing. Silently, you follow Spencer to his car, where he drives you both to your apartment once more.
The jangle of keys broke the silence inside the aprtment you had left less than an hour ago. Making your way around the living room and dumping your bag on your battered sofa, you quickly turn on some lamps before walking to the small kitchen situated in the corner of the room.
"Make yourself at home." You smile to him, busying yourself making two cups of tea, as he looks around the room, once more observing the space, taking in what he didnt the last time as he sat on the distressed arm chair cramed into the corner of the room.
Your place was small, sure, but you prefered the word cosy. The Kitchen and living room were in the same room, but to you it just made it easier to keep clean. The walls were lined with shelves, filled with all kinds of books, some with files and trinkets. Mementos of you that had collected over the years, that refelcted you both past and present. There were a few framed prints along the wall of famous horror movies, Scream, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chucky, Hellraiser, you were sure your choice of movie posters could be analysed by Reid, and you were hoping silently, he wouldn't deduce a hidden part of your psyche that you weren't aware of yourself.
Glancing over to the man, you saw him observing the leafs on one of the various plants that were littered around the room.
"Did you know that Monsteras can bloom fruit? It's said to taste like a mixture of fruit salad." He spoke up, glancing at you with a smile as you returned from the kitchen with two mugs, handing him one.
"It's peppermint, sorry I ran out of coffee this morning." You place your mug on your coffee table and move over to one of your shelves, grabbing some binders and handing them to reid before grabbing a pile of your own. The pair of you sit beside one another, knees toutching as you both scan through your oldnotes. After a moment of silence, Spencer touches his knee to yours lightly, getting your attention.
"Im sorry we haven't been on our date yet..." His tone had a sheepish tone to it. The way his eyes met yours showed that he really felt guilty, but you shook your head.
"What do you mean? We've still been spending time together." Placing the binder you were holding onto the coffee table, you turned your full attention to man beside you, who mirrored your actions.
"I know, but I just wanted to do this properly with you." There was that phrase again, what did he mean?
"What do you mean by that, Spencer? What does properly mean to you?" Grabbing his hand softly, he starts slightly before melting into your touch, absentmindly intertwining his fingers with yours.
"I just mean... I mean..." He scanned your eyes, as if trying to find the right words in them. A small pleading look painted his features. "I just want to make sure I don't scare you away. Or do anything wrong... I don't date. Ever really, but the few I've been on... They just seem to run when they see the strains from my job. I just want to.., I dont know. Follow the right formula, you know take you out to dinner, walk you home, kiss you goodbye at the door. I want to experience what love should be, not the large spark that doesn't ignite anything that I have been..." His gaze had trailed away from yours, finding your intertwined hands, watching as he fiddled with your hand between both of his larger ones. A small sigh escaped your lips as you chuckled
"Woah cowboy, lets slow down with the love, we haven't even been out to dinner yet." You chuckled, trying to eleviate his anxiety. His head snapped up in panic, fear evident that he said something wrong, but you interupted before he could voice this "I'm not going to get scared away, Spencer. I've worked at that desk for a year now, and I've seen what your job entails, if i was going to get scared away, do you think I would've entertained the idea of us in the first place?" His lips draw into a small line, and he shakes his head no. "Exactly, Spencer. Besides, falling in love doesn't follow a formula. It's not the romcom script that you expect. It's quality time, it's strife and raw emotion, it's an exposing yourself to someone in more than just body, but mind and heart too. That takes time and being together, and thats what we've been doing already. Hell, we shared a bed the first day we spoke a full proper sentence to each other, i think we're already past doing this properly."
Spencer seemed at a loss for words, staring into your eyes as you brought your hands together once more, halting his fidgeting and squeezing his hand.
"If we're together, then that's all that matters to me." Spencer's lips broke into a releived smile, before he leaned forward to place a small kiss on your lips. He pulled away just as quickly as your lips had joined, however.
"Im sorry, I didn't mean to-" You cut him off by placing your lips to his again, free hand cradling his cheek as you gave him a longer, more passionate kiss. After a moment, you break a part. Spencer sported a dopey smile, eyes glued to your features.
"I was waiting for you to do that again since Texas..." Your voice was small, but full of happiness towards the doctor in front of you. Finally, the pair of you continued your research, unempeaded this time, for another hour. Eventually, you perked up, alerting the man beside you.
"There's allusions to God. Each one has some sort of religious message!" You shriked, Spencers eyes widenning, thinking for a moment before perking up himself
"You're right... Dracula is a representation of sin for the 19th century, Frankenstein is mans punishment for playing god... but how does the castle of otranto link to god?" Spencer questions
"It's about sin. It's sort of a slur piece playing on the fears of catholicsm in the 18th century, thats why Walpole set it in the crusades, its publication lined up with the catholic reformation in England at the time. It's a display of public fears." Eagerly, you went to grab your old copies of each of the books. All covered in annotations from your past studies.
"So the unsub's message is religious... So why choose the gothic as a mode to display his religious beliefs?" Spencer followed you, grabbing your copy of frankenstein and skimming through the poages.
"I'm not too sure on that actually... Maybe because the gothic itself is caused moral outrage at the time? Maybe that's what his message is, something might've happened that links his moral outrage to the genre?" Your gaze met his furrowed one, before he could speak however, there was a knock on your door. Unsure who it may be, you gingerly make your way towards it.
On the door step, there was a large, brown package. There was no shipping label, or return adress. Only a note placed central over the brown tape that held the box shut. The words 'For my Sanguinary Rosebud', signed 'Nosferatu'.
"Spencer?" Your call was weak, confusion littering your face. The man joined you, and peered over your shoulder to the box.
"That's... Odd." He reached into his pocket and grabbed a pair of blue gloves, He moved towards the box slowly, picking it up with gloved hands bfore resting it ontop of your small dining table. He retrived a knife from your draw after photographing the box unopened, and slowly slid his knife through the tape.
The smell hit you first, making you gag and back away, holding a hand to your face. 'oh my god...'
Spencer contuined to methodically open the box, slowly reveling the corpse of a raven. There was a note inside, Spencer retrived it and held it up before reading it aloud
"It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabel Lee; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love— I and my Annabel Lee- With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsmen came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, Went envying her and me— Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we— Of many far wiser than we- And neither the angels in Heaven above Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride, In her sepulchre there by the sea— In her tomb by the sounding sea.
Does this poem mean anything to you?" His eyes were wide, clear with worry. Slowly you nodded.
"It's... It's my favourite..." You uttered, hand still over your mouth, eyes wide as they looked over the box "Who would do this?"
Spencers brow knitted further with confusion, you could see how hard he was thinking, trying to figure out the reason that you were targeted with such an odd gift. He quickly snatched his mobile from his pocket and dialed Hotch.
"Hotch? We have something. Y/N has been sent... Let's just say a token of affection and I think it's from our unsub... Okay... I understand... Be there soon." Turning to you he removes the gloves and places his hands on your shoulders
"The team are on their way to preserve the scene, but I'm going to take you back to the BAU. Can you pack a bag? If this is the unsub, then we can't let you stay here." He was methodical in his instructions, you were still in a state of shock from the last few minutes. Blinking in rsponse, you made your way to your room, haphazardly throwing some things into a duffle before leaving to the car with Spencer. He guided you out with a hand to the small of your back, finally talking once more in the car.
"Are you alright?" Softly, he broke you from the trance you'd been in since discovering the box. Shaking your head yes, Spencer saw through it and grabbed your hand once more, squeezing it reassuringly and pulling you into his chest, placing a small kiss to your crown.
"We don't know what this means for sure yet. He could be teasing us, he must know we're onto him and hes trying to psyche us out."
"But... why me? Why do this to me?" Your voice was meager in the wake of his claims, muffled into his jumper.
"I... I dont know. But I'll keep you safe. I promise." He broke from you, meeting your eyes with a kind smile "Im going to keep you safe."
Part 4 soon...
Tags: @pleasantwitchgarden @xamapolax @kchv
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds prompts#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine
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heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3
ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER
mdni please<3
warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??
writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞
it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.
either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.
the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.
that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.
suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"
she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.
you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.
you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.
you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.
what if she sees me the way i see myself?
your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.
"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.
you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.
pretty.
girl.
those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.
"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.
she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.
you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.
"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.
you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.
it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."
she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.
she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.
ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.
as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"
"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."
with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.
a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.
what am i doing?
ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.
but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.
"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.
you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.
you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie tlou#reqs open#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x insecure!reader#ellie x insecure!reader#insecure!reader
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Is it time for a Steddie time travel fix-it AU? (yes)
A03
There’s something wrong with Steve Harrington.
It’s not that Eddie’s watching him. Not that he pays any special attention to him. But the guy is noticeable. He’s the closest thing Hawkins has to royalty: Rich. Star athlete. Attractive. He’s the cliche golden boy of every teen movie with his polos and letterman jacket and vacant, pretty smile as he walks down hallways with his arm around the girl-of-the-week. He’s a predictable staple; a static figure in the horror script that is Eddie’s high school existence.
So when Steve Harrington shows up to school on an otherwise ordinary Wednesday looking and acting really fucking different, Eddie notices.
Well, he doesn’t actually look all that different. The clothes are normal. But his hair is far from its typical careful coiffure, and there’s a frantic energy to him as he shoves his way through the double doors and jogs into the empty hallway.
He doesn’t see Eddie, tucked in the bathroom alcove.
The only people at the school this early are the marching band kids, wrapping up their hellishly early practice, and Eddie, waiting to sell to a tuba player with no concept of how much weed should actually cost. Eddie has no intention of informing him.
Steve Harrington, pacing in front of a segment of lockers, checking his watch, shoving his fingers through his hair, is wildly out-of-place in the bright-lit early-morning hallway.
And then, things get weirder.
Because Robin Buckley exits the band room and they both freeze.
“Fuck,” she says, “are you––”
“Rob,” Steve says, and it's the most gut-wrenching sound Eddie has maybe ever heard in his life.
She throws herself at him and they hug like—Eddie doesn’t even know. Like the people you see on the news from war zones who thought their family had been killed before a miraculous reunion.
“Are you ok?” she asks, voice cracked and carrying in the empty hallway. “I woke up this morning and my mom was just acting like everything was normal and I had to get to practice and I thought maybe it had all been some fucked up dream but even I’m not that creative.” She pushes away from him, tugging up the bottom of his shirt, “what about––are you––?”
He grabs her wrist, shaking his head. “No, I’m fine. I’m completely fine. I’m just…1983 me.”
What the fuck, Eddie thinks.
Well, he’s already been thinking that, but. What does that even mean? What else would he be?
“Are the kids ok?”
What kids?
“I don’t know. I don’t have a walkie or anything anymore it’s all––” Steve gestures, “reset. And if this is ‘83 then they’re all actual children again, El might not even be––and what if they don’t––”
“They have to. I mean, if we do, they have to, right?”
Are they on drugs? Is he on drugs? The blunt he smoked last night shouldn’t cause hallucinations. He pinches himself. Ow.
The band hall doors open again and Eddie shifts further into the alcove as several horn players walk past.
“We can figure things out after school,” Steve murmurs. “We just have to hold it together until then. I don’t know if we’re stuck here or not but if we are––”
“Right. Act normal. Just normal, 16-year-old Robin things. No problem.”
They grab each other again, a tight, desperate, embrace that is not at all normal, Eddie feels it’s important to point out. He didn’t even think that Harrington knew Buckley existed. It’s almost as strange as if Harrington decided to hug Eddie. Inexplicable.
They separate, Robin rubbing at her eyes and Harrington muttering something about not remembering his locker combination. Eddie’s customer arrives before he can decide if he wants to investigate things further.
Focusing in his first period is even more impossible than usual. Focusing on math is tedious enough normally, but when Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington are having some sort of shared nervous breakdown it’s even harder to care about logarithmic functions.
He sees Steve again in the hallway after first period and Eddie will admit he’s actively looking for him now. Steve is talking in hushed tones to Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Beyers of all people. His hair is an absolute wreck, and his posture is…Eddie doesn’t know how to describe it. 'Aggressive' isn’t quite right but it’s close.
And then, like Harrington has some sort of intuition he’s being watched, he glances up and meets Eddie’s eyes.
Eddie doesn’t know why he runs. His fight or flight instincts have been well-honed his 4 years at Hawkins High and there’s something about the feral-ness in Steve’s stance, the completely unfathomable emotion in his eyes, that has Eddie shoving his way around the corner and into the bathroom. He drops his lunchbox into the sink and pushes both hands into his hair with a quietly muttered: “fuck.” He feels like he might be going crazy.
The door opens.
“Eddie,” Steve says.
It sounds strangely similar to the way he’d said “Rob” that morning–full of something Eddie doesn’t understand.
“Harrington,” he says warily.
Steve takes two steps forward and Eddie automatically scrambles backward, running into the wall and bashing his elbow against the paper towel dispenser. Steve has never actually hurt him before, but some of the guys he hangs out with have and—
Steve freezes: both hands out, reaching for nothing.
“You don’t—?”
There’s a question, there, but Eddie has no idea what it is.
“Eddie?” he says again. This time, it’s desperate and Eddie has no idea why.
The only time he’s ever seen someone’s eyes look like this is when he was looking at his own reflection in the church’s bathroom mirror, clinging to the sink at his mother’s funeral.
“Yeah?” Eddie asks.
Steve’s jaw works. “You don’t remember,” he says blankly.
“Remember what? You’re kinda freaking me out, dude, which is impressive, considering,” he gestures expansively to himself, gives a little shake of his hips so the chains rattle.
Steve doesn’t laugh.
“You don’t remember,” he repeats, more to himself than Eddie. “But you’re ok?”
He’s looking at Eddie’s chest.
“Yes? A-okay. Tip top. Hagan barely touched me yesterday, if that’s what you’re talking about.”
“Tommy hurt you?” Steve says.
Well, shit. The crazy eyes are back.
“Man, why do you care?”
“Sorry,” Steve says. “I’m sorry, I know this doesn’t make any sense to you, but can I just–”
Eddie lets him approach, this time. Lets him reach out to touch. It’s just one hand, at first, tentative, like Steve is expecting to be rebuffed, palm cupped to the ball of his shoulder over his jacket. “Sorry,” he says again, letting go only to reach for the hem of Eddie’s shirt, “Sorry, I know I probably sound crazy, I just––” he pulls it up, stares at Eddie’s side, and then lets out a hysterical little noise that sounds like a cross between a laugh and a sob.
“You’re ok,” he says.
His fingers are hot on Eddie’s skin, pressed light and shockingly reverent to the space between his hip and rib cage.
“You’re ok,” he repeats. It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.
“Hey,” Eddie says, it comes out more breathless than he’d prefer but Steve fucking Harrington has him backed against a wall in a bathroom with his hands up Eddie’s shirt so he thinks a little lack of air is warranted. “Are you ok?”
The fingers on his abdomen flex.
“No,” Steve says. His eyes are wide and fathomless and the look on his face is terrible. “No, I’m not even remotely ok.”
It sounds like a confession.
Steve lets go of Eddie’s shirt.
He takes a studied step back but then stops, palm still splayed on Eddie’s side, free hand reaching for Eddie’s arm, for his elbow, to cling, like he can’t quite force himself to stop touching; not yet. He’s looking at Eddie like Eddie has broken his heart which doesn’t make any sense because they don’t know each other. They’ve never spoken directly to each other in their lives. So there’s no reason that Steve should be looking at him, like, like––
Like he is.
They’re breathing each other’s second-hand air and Eddie can smell him and there have only been a few times in his life when a boy has looked at Eddie with even half the want that Steve Harrington is looking at him with now. And never, never has a man who looks like Steve Harrington looked at Eddie with anything approaching whatever the hell is on Steve’s face.
“Eddie,” Steve says, and he sounds so lost.
Eddie’s not proud of it.
He runs away.
He shoves Steve to the side, wrenches open the door, and runs without stopping through the hall, outside, down the sidewalk, and onto the main road. He runs until he has to stop because he can’t breathe and only then does he bend over, hands braced on knees, and look behind him. He almost expects to see Steve has followed him.
He hasn’t.
Eddie can't decide if he's relieved by that or not. And then he realizes he’s left his entire stash in the lunchbox in the bathroom.
“Fuck,” he hisses, straightening, hands on his head, lungs aching.
“Fuck,” he says again, just for the hell of it.
He has no idea what’s happening.
But what he does know is that something is seriously wrong with Steve Harrington.
Pt2 here.
#steddie#steddie fic#time travel#myfic#mywriting#steve harrington/eddie munson#eddie x steve#steve x eddie#robin & steve
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| I Wanna Make My Murder Look Like A Suicide |
Pairing: Diluc x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Dark content, Yandere, Yan!Diluc, Fem!Reader, Reader wears a dress, Diluc is your husband, Abuse, Manipulation, Reader is disabled, Reader uses a cane, Reader is referred to as Diluc’s ‘Wife’, Mentions of past forced feeding, Arranged Marriage, It is implied that reader’s family was abusive, Scratching (Reader), Diluc is very cruel in this, Kaeya appears towards the end, Dissociation, Reader has a mental breakdown, Stockholm Syndrome (? I’m unsure about this one ?), 4.6k Words.
A/n: Reupload because I deleted this foasijfasodi but yeah idk I really just think yandere!Diluc is neat. Also, the title are lyrics from the song Cotard’s Solution by Will Wood and The Tapeworms.
Summary: When your family arranges a marriage with the wealthy owner of Dawn Winery, you jump at the first chance you can to escape your cruel family, but what new hell awaits you on the other side?
“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked in a cold tone.
It threw you off for a moment but only briefly, because if there’s one thing you could promise yourself it’s that your husband, Diluc, would never harm you. But somehow you couldn’t help but clutch onto the fabric of your dress, the same one he gave you on your first wedding anniversary, hands shaking for some unknown reason.
“I was just going for a walk. Would you like to j-” He cut you off mid sentence, snapping at you in response.
“No, I don’t want to go anywhere and neither should you. It’s”— He checked his pocket watch before quickly tucking it back into his pocket— “Three in the morning and both of us should be heading to bed.”
“But-” Before you could get another word in he’d grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward.
That was your cue that it was indeed time to end the night, in bed… with your husband. Your beloved husband who would never steer you astray. So, then why did you have this feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was terribly and unmistakably wrong?
Soon the sun rose and pierced through the window of your bedroom, waking you up with its warm rays and urging you to get ready for the day. You didn’t have anywhere to go or anything to do exactly—to be fair you never did—but that never stopped you from looking your very best. So, you quickly put on a decent looking outfit, brushed your hair, and grabbed your cane. And just as you were about to descend down the stairs you saw the flower embroidered basket out of the corner of your eye. It always tempted you, or maybe taunted is the more appropriate word, and you decided against fighting your desires and instead hooked it over your free arm.
You checked both ways before tip-toeing downstairs, hoping your walk was closer than it was last night. Closer and closer you came to the front door, you knew it was silly but you really wanted to take a walk and you couldn’t understand your husband’s rejections towards it. Your hand was on the bronze knob and you were just about to turn it when a hand placed itself on your shoulder. You jumped and looked to see who it was and to your surprise and relief, it was Adelinde. It made getting caught a little less scary and a lot more tedious, because you knew there was nothing you could do to keep her watchful eyes off of you.
She smiled fondly, too fondly, and finally spoke. “You’re supposed to be resting. Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. Master Diluc is expecting you.” She led you into the dining area.
Pulling back an open seat, Adelinde helped you into your seat, pushing your chair closer to the table while the both of you waited for Diluc to arrive. And once he did she did the same for him and walked outside as he dismissed her. Not once did she look back and it made you nervous for reasons you weren’t sure of. The both of you waited in thick silence for the food to arrive, and once it had he took a few bites before he ordered everyone in the house to give you two some privacy.
It was that moment, that moment right then and there that made you question just what exactly your husband would say or do. Maybe an answer to last night’s little event, or something truly dreadful instead. It was the very minute you happened to look at him that he set down his utensils and spoke at last.
“Are you unhappy?” he said casually, as if he hadn’t just questioned the very existence of you in his life.
You were stunned, but not too much that you couldn’t speak.
“Of course I am! What kind of question is that?” you replied defensively.
Your heart began to pound harshly against your chest, and you could feel the sudden drop of your stomach. Clenching the fork in your right hand you tried grounding yourself, controlling your emotions, but the feeling was so strong you started to cry.
Diluc reached over and gingerly wiped away the stray tear on your cheek. “Please, don’t cry.” You were silent aside from the hurtful whimpers you let out. “I’m not mad.”
Diluc slowly made his way out of his chair and knelt beside yours in an effort to comfort you, but that did quite the opposite. He gently held onto your left hand and looked at you with softened eyes, except for the fact that they were grey and empty. You tried to stop crying but your tears became uncontrollable, and soon you were sobbing into the crook of your right arm’s elbow. It felt like your world was caving, as if your heart stopped and the air was stripped straight from your lungs. The worst part was how you had no clue what was the real problem, that was until you said that loathsome phrase you always did end up blurting out.
“Are.. Are you leaving me?” you asked timidly.
The fear in your voice was evident but you couldn’t find the strength or courage to pretend otherwise. Sometimes when you blurted it out you hoped he wouldn’t answer, just so that there was no choice for rejection. It was better that way you told yourself, even though he had never rejected you. To be frank, if he hadn’t put that worry in your head in the first place, then you wouldn't have reacted this way. But if there’s one thing you learned from this marriage it was that Diluc would show you only what he wanted you to see. So, to the world he was an honest man, a doting husband, and above all, kind, but that was not the reality you lived.
Diluc took both of your hands now and gave them a tight grip, looking you deep in your eyes. “I will never leave you. Okay, sweetheart?”
His words felt less like a promise and more like a threat. You used to have so much more fight in you, but these days you barely had any left. So, you nodded and allowed him to give you a hug before the both of you finished up your breakfast. The remainder of the day was spent watching out the windows of your regal prison, dreaming of the day you could finally feel the sun on your face again. This was the pattern of your every day, from the moment the sun went up and till the very time it fell below the ground; wishing and praying that someday your fate would change. Perhaps that day was closer than you presumed, but you were doubtful.
The pattern continued for weeks, you had constant flare ups and Diluc would consistently refuse to let you leave the house. Until, one day ,the pain had lessened enough to the point where you didn’t need your cane or wheelchair, and instead could truly stretch your legs for once. It was by no means a permanent thing but you wanted to celebrate this small relief, and with what you might ask? A nice walk through the outside breeze of course. Today was the day you were so sure that Diluc would let you outside, or at the very least walk with you.
So, you found a comfortable outfit to wear, looked at your aid with a triumphant smile, and carefully descended down the stairs. You were proud to be able to have a day free of your mobility aid, it was liberating, but you knew once you saw Diluc at the bottom of the steps that something was wrong. Something was very wrong, indeed. Slowly you walked down the staircase and once you were face to face with your husband, you could see his face was that of a truly frustrated and fed up man.
He knows, you thought to yourself.
“You’re late,” he said in a cold tone as he pulled out a chair at the table for you, and helped you into your seat.
You kept your sights on your food as much as you could, because you knew damn well that Diluc could sniff out your true feelings with ease. Making sure to hold eye contact with Diluc as much as you could stomach, you took deep breaths as you readied yourself to ask the question you’d been dying to ask. This all depended on how healthy you appeared, if he caught even a whiff of pain or weakness it was all over for you.
“Sorry,” you said weakly.
Already your heart was banging hard in your ear drums, causing chaos before the eruption had occurred. You both waited patiently, and you, silently, for the remainder of the food to be served to you. Once you had been served the usual meal you were given, you stared at it for a good moment while Master Diluc began digging in almost immediately. Maybe he was in a better mood today, you thought to yourself. Maybe, or maybe not. He soon noticed you hadn’t touched your food and ushered for you to eat.
“Eat,” he demanded, a hint of urgency lingering in his voice, but the overall tone was still harsh.
It was when your teary eyes were long focused on the meal with no urgency to touch it that he raised his brow in suspicion and watched you with an angered expression. It was one thing to try to run away from his hot and cold exterior, but it was another to avoid his good deeds entirely. He set down his utensils with a loud clank and looked straight forward at you, trying his best to contain his rage.
“I said, eat.” He demanded through grit teeth.
This was the side of him that many– no, everyone missed completely. Those close to him didn’t see how cruel and unforgiving he was behind closed doors. They didn’t know that if all your food was not eaten how Diluc would sit there to make sure you ate even just a little more than you could stomach, against your begging wishes, of course. No one, and I mean no one except those that resided in the home, knew about his harsh tendencies. And that meant that not a single soul knew just how horribly he treated his sweet angel of a wife, but maybe it was better that way. After all, if someone like you was stupid enough to stay then maybe you really did deserve all the torture he’d constantly put you through. And you’d think that after his hardened voice demanding you to eat that your fear would kick in and force you to shovel down your food, but you’d be wrong.
“Is there something wrong with the food, my dear?” He asked through grit teeth, again.
You shook your head and tears fell into your food.
Diluc stood up from his seat and stared you down. “Then what is wrong?”
You said nothing. Instead, you continued to cry into your food as Diluc stared down at you like a troublesome child. You just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard Diluc told you to calm down, relax, or ease yourself, it was all to no avail. It only furthered your pathetic tears. Diluc wanted to know the truth, just for you to tell him why you refused to eat, but if you told him the truth he’d only become more angry and you weren't sure you could handle that at the moment. You weren’t sure you could handle this life a moment longer, but unfortunately you didn’t and never had a choice. It was tragic really, but that was life for you.
It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried to leave him before, trust me, you tried, but it was all to no avail. You could hardly make it downstairs without some help, so what made you think you could escape all on your own unscathed. When your family arranged the marriage you blindly accepted, thinking escaping your heartless family must be a better life than if you were to stay, but boy were you wrong. Diluc was sweet at first, kind and gentle just as he is in the public eye, but it wasn’t till the honeymoon that you realized something was terribly wrong. And by time you realized your mistake it was far too late.
“I-” You started to speak, but were quickly cut off by your choking tears.
You tried your best to speak up, say something, anything, but each time you were silenced by gut wrenching cries. The one time you attempted to look up to address the situation you were met with cold, unfeeling eyes and averted your gaze with hiccuping sobs.
“Ugh, will you just spit it out already?” Diluc groaned in frustration.
That only furthered your sobs and worsened it. Your hands tangled into your hair and began to scratch at your scalp for relief, but you only ended up with a sore scalp and traces of blood underneath your fingernails. Your tears grew bigger, your cries louder, and all sense of rationale left your body. The atmosphere was foggy and unclear, like looking into a cloudy looking glass for reasoning and coming up with absolutely nothing in return. You swore you heard a voice through the thickness of it all, but even as you were dragged from your seat in the dining room and led back into the privacy of your own room, you held no grasp on reality. It must’ve been hours, maybe days, or so it felt like, before you started to come to. A strong grip held you close to something, something warm, and rocked you comfortingly as small shushes could be heard near your ears.
It was only moments later that you began to recognize the world around you, and the familiar figure holding you close. Too close. It was none other than Master Diluc. Why he was holding you in such a tender and intimate position, you weren’t sure you knew, but you one thing was for sure, it felt extremely uncomfortable. You writhed in his holding, trying your damnedest to squirm out of his hold, but he was much stronger than you. A pins and needles sensation spread from your hips to the tip of your toes, and you could barely move from your position. Your hands were free aside from the vice grip Diluc had on your arms, almost crushing them as he held you closely. You felt the need to cry all over again, but suppressed it as hard as you could. Thankfully, your attempts worked and this time you remained strong.
You tried to remain quiet and confident, but your confidence was shattered the moment you heard his sweet yet poisonous voice ring through your ears. “You’re awake.”
Unfortunately
“Y-Yes. What happened?” You asked, trying to put the pieces together.
Diluc shifted into an upright position and prepared to tell you some of the truth. He couldn’t have you trying to run off, again. Unfortunately, what Master DIluc didn’t know was that your determination far outweighed any punishment he could potentially give to you. After he explained it to you in his own version, you nodded in agreement and expressed your exhaustion. You wanted to go to bed and forget all about this day., even though it felt like it had just begun. Sure, Diluc had his suspicions as to why you so suddenly wanted to sleep after such a conversation, but he brushed it off as his own paranoia. After all, he’d curated a life that he made damn sure you could never run away from. At least, not without some help.
That night was spent with eyes vigilantly open, wide and observant as you rested your head on the pillow, keeping out for when Diluc would come to bed. If he caught you in bed awake right now he was sure to have a few words, but you’d simply lie and say the pain kept you awake, which wouldn’t exactly be far from the truth, but it wasn’t the truth. You watched out the only window you had in your room, gazing at the open sky full of stars and the full moon and wondered what was taking Diluc so long. What was taking him so long? He should’ve long been in bed by now. So, why was he still hard at work in his study? Regardless of the reasoning you calmed yourself down, trying your best to satiate your impatience, because if you weren’t careful it could very well be the thing that led to your downfall.
It must’ve been about an hour or so later when you heard the heavy footsteps of your husband head up the stairs and then quietly trail into your shared room. You could vividly hear him discard his clothes and climb into what you guessed were more comfortable ones. He kissed you softly on the forehead, foolishly believing you were asleep, and climbed into bed with you. Feeling his hot breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept without him breathing down your neck, literally. It was awful. Although you were thankful that tonight his vice grip wasn’t holding you in place —making it perfect for your little escape plan— there was still a heavy feeling of discomfort floating throughout the bedroom.
You were patient, and all that patience of yours finally paid off when you heard the light to heavy snores of Diluc behind you. It was time, time to make your escape. It would be tricky getting out of the bed with him in it, but thankfully Diluc was a heavy sleeper. Slowly and very very carefully you removed the blankets from your body and started to slide down to the edge of the bed. Closer.. Closer.. Closer.. Until finally, your legs hung off the edge of the bed. Diluc shifted in his sleep and let out a loud snore which caused you to jump in your own skin, but looking back you saw he was still fast asleep. Letting out a silent sigh of relief you steadied yourself with both hands as you placed both of your wobbly feet to the ground. Now, the next part would prove one of the most difficult tasks, getting your cane. It currently sat in a cage with other canes and umbrellas you owned (not that you ever actually left the house) and could potentially make a lot of noise if you weren’t careful.
Cautiously you tiptoed to the cage and took a slow, deep breath before reaching inside and slowly pulled it out. It was a wooden cane so if hit at just the right amount of speed it could make quite enough noise, not as much as it would if it were metal, but it would be just enough to awaken the young master. With extreme caution you began to pull it out, further and further, until it was almost fully out, but in an unfortunate turn of events your hand began to grow weak and numb and you dropped it. Thankfully, you were able to grab it with your other hand before it could wake up Diluc, but not before it banged against the cage in a painfully loud manner. You froze in place, not moving a single muscle until you heard the light snores of Diluc once again. Carefully pulling out the entire cane you then positioned it as you usually would for the day and used it to help you hold your weight upright, as you gradually turned the doorknob and opened the bedroom door.
Peeking out the door you could so no one and nothing except for the moonlight illuminating the hallway. Now was as good a chance as any to make a run for it, and so you quickly tiptoed down the stairs with the help of your cane to steady you, eagerly walking towards the door the moment your feet touched the first floor. Your hand hovered above the knob as you stopped in shock. Was this it? Were you finally going to leave this miserable and pitiful life to live one full of joy and freedom? It is what you deserved after all, you thought. It’s what you had always wanted and needed. Without wasting a moment sooner you turned the knob and braced yourself for whatever waited for you outside those doors, and stepped outside for the first time in a long time.
It must’ve been summertime because the heat was thick and the air was muggy. If you had been out on a daily or constant basis you were sure you would’ve hated it, but in that moment you loved nothing more than to feel the heat and thick, muggy air. You never realized how beautiful the Dawn Winery was from the outside until just now. Crystalflies flew through the air and around the grape vines. The moon was full and the stars shone brightly in the nighttime sky. It was beautiful, everything you’d always dreamt of and more. The flowers were even more beautiful than you had remembered and they smelt even better than you could’ve ever dreamt of. Everything was perfect, absolutely perfect. That is until you saw the mansion lit up with lights and realized that he and possibly everyone else was awake.
You tried to make a run for it as best as you could but you were stopped by a hand on your wrist pulling you backwards and down onto the ground. You fell into a puddle of mudd, soaking your nightgown as you looked up in horror at the man that was supposed to be your husband. His face was cold and full of fury, you’d never seen him look like this before. This wasn’t like those other times when you tried to take walks, because this time you had actually tried to leave him. Leave him all alone with only his wounded pride and broken heart for comfort. He was seething with rage and all you could do in reply was cry, cry like a child that had been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. You didn’t know what exactly prompted you to cry so much, so hard, and so pathetically, but you continued to do so anyway.
“Come inside, now.” Diluc demanded.
But now that you had a taste of the outside world after such a long time of being deprived of it you wanted more, so you shook your head and rejected his commands. This only further angered Diluc, because he then pulled you up by your forearms and dragged you back inside. You clawed at the door frame trying to stay outside, but he was much stronger than you. He threw you onto the floor and slammed the door shut, proceeding to lock it tightly with a key you’d never seen before. Immediately Diluc started cursing at you, a bright fire in his eyes that consumed his very being began to spread as you realized you had royally fucked up. You couldn’t even focus on a word he was saying because all you could imagine was whatever hell he was about to put you through.
One Week Later…
“Come on, let’s get you all nice and pretty.” Adelinde said, tightening your brand new dress that Diluc had bought you.
It was an apology, a present, but you knew the true nature of the young master, and nothing could fix this marriage, not even your own freedom. You stood there and looked in the mirror as Adelinde fixed your hair with a smile. You too would’ve smiled if it weren’t for the grim reality you faced. Especially on days where Diluc invited over his brother for dinner. Kaeya had no clue of anything that went on in the mansion, not a damn idea, but that didn’t mean he had no suspicions. Kaeya was smart like that, could catch onto things quickly especially being the cavalry captain, and this sort of thing was no different.
After Adelinde had gotten you all nice and ready the two of you descended down the staircase where you ran into Diluc and his brother, Kaeya. Kaeya looked towards you and smiled, helping you down the rest of the way. Kaeya always was a helpful and kind man like that, constantly helping those in need. Sometimes, just sometimes, you wished he’d help you escape this place, but that was a childish dream. The two of you exchanged pleasantries as you all sat at the dining room table and awaited your food. Everything was going well until the events of a week ago started to come flooding in. You tried your best to hide it but with how brightly the sun started to shine through the windows you couldn’t help but miss the heat and the thick air you once touched.
“Are you alright?” Kaeya asked, but you playfully brushed off your odd behavior with laughter and a joke, but he was not convinced.
No, Kaeya was not so easily swayed by the same type of joking behavior he too would use to cover his own emotions. So, he watched you the entire dinner all the way till the end. He noticed how flinched against his brother’s touch and noticed how your gaze always seemed to find itself lined up with the open windows. Something was wrong, something was not right about this and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He would not let you suffer a moment longer, no matter how impossible the mission seemed. Kaeya wanted to tell you this, he wanted to reassure you that he was going to help you escape, but he could never find the right time with Diluc and Adelinde breathing down his neck as he was sure they did the same, and much worse to you.
It soon came time to say his goodbyes and as he did he locked eyes with you, saying things with them that he would never dare to say out loud in front of the young master. Even though it was just a dinner, and a revealing one at that, he planned to have many more dinners with Diluc in the future, warm up to you, get closer to you, and hopefully gain your trust enough to help you escape this awful, awful place. That is if he didn’t get killed in the process of it all…
#diluc x reader#diluc x you#diluc x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#yandere diluc x reader#yandere genshin x reader
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Take care
Boston Era!Joel Miller x you
Part 2
Summary: You're a nurse working in the Boston QZ and when a handsome new patient comes in you just can't help yourself. Word count: 1.4k
Warnings: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, +18 minors dni, handjob, somnophilia, noncon. reader has no physical descriptions such as skin color or body type
You fucking hate it here- you hate Boston, hate FEDRA, hate your job, hate the world, hate your life. You need some excitement, something new. You're working as a nurse in a dirty QZ hospital. It's such a fucking joke. The hospital (if you can even really call it that) looks like an abandoned building. The lights flicker, the glass windows are shattered, the floor is always covered in grime, some of the brick walls are even crumbling in the front. Whenever a surgery needs to be done they just dip the instruments in a bucket of alcohol, theres no such thing as a sterile procedure anymore. There aren't enough supplies or staff left to properly function as a real hospital. There are only a few doctors for a ton of patients, some people that come in don't even get seen by a doctor. So that's where you come in, the nurses. You aren't even an actual nurse, you've never been formally trained. Before the outbreak you were a radiology tech, and once the QZ was set up they went around asking for anyone who was in the medical field. You volunteered, but you had no idea it'd be for a job like this. They just threw you to the wolves and over the years you've improvised and learned what works. It was messy in the beginning, you were scrambling and scared and had breakdowns almost daily. But now you feel like a hardened nurse, numb to most things.
You're sitting in the "break room" munching on some jerky and absentmindedly kicking at a smudge mark on the ground with your boot.
There's a flurry of commotion the hallway and the door flies open.
"Jen?"
Your friend pokes her head in. "Oh good you're here, come on, we've got an intake. Male in late 40s, early 50s. Stab wound. "
"Is the doc coming to take a look?"
"Nope. Busy. It's on you."
"Me? He's not my patient and I'm supposed to be on break."
She laughs. "Yeah sorry. I would. You know I would. But my plate is full. I got a gun shot wound that's infected that's taking all my time. I wouldn't throw you this one if I didn't know you can handle it."
"Of course Jen. I got your back." You're following her down the hall rushing towards the emergency entrance.
"Thanks. Two guys brought him in." She nods to a room at the end of the hall on the left.
"OK thanks Jen." You give her a nod and head towards your newest patient as she bustles down the corridor.
"Hello I'm- shit." This is the kinda shit you're getting sick and tired of. The men just dumped him and left. Your patient is fully unconscious, laying flat on his back on the exam table, wound still bleeding. This guy needs a doctor, but you're all there is. You sprint for the supplies closet, grabbing alcohol wipes, gauze and suturing materials. With your arms full you rush back to the room. Good thing he's unconscious, you think, because this is going to hurt and the hospital ran out of pain meds long ago.
You tug and rip his flannel shirt open, making the buttons pop off. You're tearing open packets of gauze and trying to clean his wound so you can get a good look at the entry point. Finally after wiping away the dried and fresh blood you get a clean view. You begin disinfecting. There's an open gash about four inches long running underneath his ribs on the right side.
You blow out a deep breath, pull up a chair and get to work closing the laceration.
--
An hour later you push yourself up, set your instruments aside, wipe the sweat from your brow and look over the stitches. Given the circumstances its looks pretty darn good, you're actually proud of yourself.
You look your patient over, eyes moving past his wound and taking him wholly in for the first time.
He's probably in his early 50s, patchy graying beard, tan skin, ruffled hair. His flannel shirt you ripped open reveals his hard chest and soft tummy. You study his sleeping face, the creases in his brow and the hard angles of his jaw and nose. He's undeniably handsome.
You notice the blood on his flannel and you sigh as you stand up from your stool. You stretch, back aching after leaning over him to sew his wound. You reach for his flannel and begin tugging his limp arms out of the sleeves. You pull the bloody shirt out from underneath him and toss it on a nearby table. His arms are muscular and you notice a few scars here and there. Your hand reaches out on its own accord to lightly trace over a jagged white line on his bicep. He twitches at your touch and your hand quickly pulls away.
You move down to his jeans. After unbuckling his belt you slowly pull them down, trying to be as gentle as possible. Now that the immediate danger of the bleeding stab wound has been dealt with you need to do a physical exam and make sure he has no injuries elsewhere. You toss his pants on the table and walk back to your patient, examining every inch of his beautifully tanned skin. You can get him a hospital gown later. Your hand traces up his leg and you watch it as it moves over his dark hair, over his knee and rests on his thigh at the edge of his boxers. You shift your gaze higher and to your surprise you see his hardened bulge pushing against his boxers. You gulp and your hand lightly glides up and down his inner thigh, tracing along his muscle. You shoot a glance up to his face - he's still out. You look at the closed door and try to listen. You don't hear anyone in the hallway. The only other nurse on duty in your unit of the hospital is Jen and she's definitely still occupied with that gunshot wound...
You reach up and with one hand you pull the waistband and his boxers out while your other hand slips underneath, wrapping around his hard cock. His cock twitches when you first touch him and you smile. You slowly move your hand all the way down, feeling the full length of him. Damn he's got a nice one. You swallow the spit that's pooling in your mouth. You drag your hand back up and your thumb runs through his slit and circles around the head. You look at Joel's face again. He's still completely out but you think his brow looks more furrowed and his mouth a little more opened. You continue to gaze up at him as you twirl around his head, feeling precum beginning to bead at his tip. You swipe and gather it on your index finger before popping it in your mouth. Salty and warm and deliciously masculine. You pull your finger out and hold up your hand as you tounge it, licking your palm and fingers.
Your grab his cock again, pumping him faster now as your hand glides over his warm smooth skin. You hum to yourself as you work.
Minutes later and you feel him tightening. You quickly grab a cloth from the table and tuck it under his boxers just in time. He erupts under your hand, ribbons of messy cum spilling into the cloth. When he's done your pull the cloth out and wrap it up neatly, keeping everything it caught tucked into the middle. Joel's eyelids flutter and he makes a groaning noise. He'll be waking up soon. You place the dirty cloth in the laundry bag and step into the hallway to grab a patient gown from the clean linen cart. You wash off your sticky hand and quickly dress him. You're tidying up your instruments when Joel finally wakes up, groaning as he tries to sit.
"Woah mister careful, you got a pretty good gash in your abdomen there. Easy. Just relax. You're in the hospital now. I'll take good care of you."
You smile pleasantly at him.
#joel miller the last of us#post outbreak joel#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#dead dove do not eat#non con#joel miller one shot#joel x reader#joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut
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How about odd socks for the soft prompts?
Eddie tries to write his vows. Poem excerpts from E.E. Cummings’ [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in], Mary Oliver’s The Mango, and Pablo Neruda’s Finale. Plain text version on AO3 here and under the read more!
Dear Buck oh its not a letter
Buck
Evan Buckley (?)
From the day we met, I
I take thee to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part except I don’t want to stop loving you when either of us die. I don’t want to part. Till the glaciers have melted and the oceans have dried up, till Mount Whitney (the tallest mountain in California, I looked it up) is eroded to a molehill, till the heat death of the universe do us part. Maybe that will be enough time
I keep thinking about that time you wore those fucking socks to work and Bobby and everyone were trying to really gently asses if you were having a breakdown because we just see AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE on your ankle and then you laughed and pulled up your pants and it said “GET LOST IN NATURE AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE” which like I still think is kind of a fucked up thing to put on a sock but you just did one of your beautiful sunshine grins (we weren’t even together but god I still got light headed looking at you) and were like “I thought it would be neat to remind people the importance of safety in nature” and I was kind of teasing and annoyed and laughed about it and that was like three years ago Buck and I still feel guilty about it because if you were going through some kind of crisis I don’t ever want to be annoyed and laugh about it, I want to be there for you no matter what and I hope I’ve proven that to you over the years, that I don’t just love you on easy days, I love you every single day all the time even when everything’s fucked even if I can’t write wedding vows to save my life christ this is terrible
I love your nose and your birthmark and your eyebrows and your hair and your shoulders and the bends of your elbows, and your wrists and hands, and I love your nipples and hip bones and cock and ass and knees and your shin, I love the scars on your shin, I love every scar you have because none of them killed you
How about
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
Or
But this was a rich house, and clever too.
After salmon and salads,
mangoes for everyone appeared on blue plates,
each one cut in half and scored
and shoved forward from its rind, like an orange flower,
cubist and juicy.
When I began to eat
things happened.
Or
your head on the pillow,
your hands floating
in the light, in my light,
over my earth.
It was beautiful to live
when you lived
The world is bluer and of the earth
at night, when I sleep
enormous, within your small hands.
Before the ceremony I told Shannon “It’s going to be okay” and in the moment I believed it because I had her and I was scared but she was my best friend and up there in front of her parents and mine I said the regular vows but I think that first one was what counted even if it didn’t end up being true. Maybe I’ve been telling you my vows for years. You can have my back any day. There’s no one on earth I trust with my son - with our son - more than you. Every time I tell you I love you, isn’t that a promise?
I’ve been happy before in my life, despite everything I don’t think I was an unhappy man, not always, only sometimes, but you make me happier than I thought was possible. That kind of feeling when you laugh too hard and you’re not getting enough oxygen to your brain. Isn’t that romantic, you give me hypoxia
Here’s the thing you know I’m going to get up there and just start crying immediately so I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to find words I won’t even be able to get out
No hi this is me two hours later of course this is important you’re important you knowing how much I love you is so important to me and I will stand up there blubbering at you for hours if that’s what it takes
I trust you. I love you. I am happy with you. I want to wake up beside you always, Buck I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you next to me first thing in the morning (or night or afternoon or whenever we’ve finished sleeping), touching your warm body with your lungs breathing and your heart beating and the solidity of you feels like a miracle
I’ll buy you socks so your feet don’t get cold and I’ll bring you fruit because you like to eat sweet things and wherever I live will be your home and I’ll be by your side as long as you do me the honor of wanting me there and everything I have and am is yours and I
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Do You Know What Shovels Dig? Graves Part 4
Well, @forgottenkanji was the only one that suggested a name, but it was really cool, so I decided why not? Do you know what shovels dig? Graves
Welp, this part has reached over 3k so it’s getting split up. And maybe even an epilogue with that anon’s idea. I know I keep saying we’ll see. But this story has taken life of its own at this point and I’m just putting it out there as it comes.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
And here we get to the party apologizing and Eddie bitching out his friends.
*
Eddie had band practice after dinner so he kissed Steve on the cheek a little bit before half-time and left. Steve furrowed his brow a bit when he saw Eddie leave but didn’t say anything.
Eddie arrived at Gareth’s house and hopped out of his van. He was pleased to see that all of the other members of Corroded Coffin were already there. He walked up to them grinning from ear to ear.
“Hey, Eddie!” Gareth greeted. “You ready to start, man?”
Eddie just stood there with his hands on his hips, rocking back on his heels.
Jeff looked around Eddie in confusion. “Hey, dude, where’s your guitar?”
“Oh I didn’t bring it,” Eddie replied cheerfully.
The other three shared glances and the muttering began.
“You see I just recently learned that my best friends gave my boyfriend the shovel talk,” Eddie said brightly. “Best friends who really should have known better considering they know my past and that Steve is a hopeless romantic who is a serial monogamist.”
The muttering stopped and silence fell.
“So I’m just stopping by to let you know that because you and several others made my boyfriend so upset he had a breakdown,” Eddie continued in the same cheerful tone, “that if I hear even one word against Steve...” his voice dropped to the dark and wicked tone he used for his villains, “I will gleefully murder your characters in increasingly violent ways and then burn the character sheets. Mm’kay?”
They all nodded vigorously.
“Great!” Eddie said. “See you on Saturday!” And then turned on his heel and hopped back into his van. He drove off with a cheery wave.
Once he was gone they all looked at each other in shock.
“Wait, did Eddie say several other shovel talks?” Jeff asked after minutes of stunned silence.
“Did he say breakdown?” Gareth asked.
“Shit.”
*
Steve got into work the following morning only for Robin to throw her arms around his neck.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she whispered. “You just always appear so confident and cool when you’re actually dating that I forgot I know you better than that.”
Steve let out a shuddering breath. “It hurt Robs,” he murmured. “I thought I was your best friend and you were telling me not break his heart. I just don’t understand why.”
Robin sighed and let go of him. She hopped up onto the counter and crossed her ankles. “Being gay isn’t the same as being bisexual. You have other options if it goes to shit.” Steve’s face soured and she started waving her hands. “Not that I think it will. Of course I don’t! It’s just hard. Not harder. Because believe me I have heard some pretty nasty things people have said about bisexuals from both sides of the aisle. And I just got so wrapped up in the gay aspect of it all that I forgot you have it just as hard.”
He just shrugged and half turned away.
“Shit!” Robin said. “I’m supposed to apologizing and I’m making it worse. I am sorry. So sorry. I shouldn’t have been dismissive when you asked about Eddie breaking your heart. Because of course you’re concerned about that. Especially after Nancy. I just didn’t think it was possible, because Eddie loves you so much.”
Steve nodded.
She jumped off the counter and threw her arms around him again. “You’re my Platonic soulmate and I love you so much. You deserve people looking out for you, too. And I promise that will be me from now on.”
“I love you, too.” He put one hand on her arm as she held him. They stayed like that until a customer came in.
*
When Steve got home from work Will was sitting on his front steps.
“Hey, Will, you been waiting long?” Steve asked as he unlocked the front door.
Will stood up and dusted off his pants. “Nope. I knew when you got off and before you ask, Eddie told me.”
Steve raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it. It wasn’t uncommon for kids to just drop by. His was one of the few houses among their friends with air conditioning and the only one with a pool.
“Dustin mentioned he’d be stopping by to apologize,” Will said as he wandered through to the kitchen, “and me and El decided that since you are too nice, one of us will be here to make sure the actually apologize and not hand wave what they did away.”
Steve laughed. “If you say so.”
Sure enough about ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Steve when to go answer it and Dustin, Mike, and Nancy stood there looking sheepish. Will came out and shook his head.
“That just won’t do,” his said. “Two of you will wait in the front room while one apologizes to Steve. I won’t let you cheat with one person apologizing and thinking it counts for all three of you.”
Steve grinned. “Yeah, Will’s my favorite.”
Dustin looked devastated. “I’ll go first.”
Will nodded and followed Steve and Dustin to the kitchen and Mike and Nancy went to wait in the front room.
Dustin sat on the bar stool at the counter and Steve got him a soda. Will leaned up against the sink and watched.
Dustin wrapped his hands around it and sighed. “I didn’t know anyone had given you a shovel talk because when we talked about you and Eddie I thought it was just a joke. And I thought, ‘hey I should tell Steve to go easy on Eddie after the bats because he was still healing’ you know. I didn’t realize that you had taken to me that I didn’t trust you with Eddie, honest!”
Steve’s shoulders sagged. “All right so maybe yours wasn’t a shovel talk, but you can see why I might think it was, right?”
Dustin nodded. “You’re a good friend, Steve. And I know we don’t tell you enough, but we really do love you.”
Steve pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head.
“I’m sorry, Steve,” Dustin cried. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
Steve looked over at Will who gave him the thumbs up. Dustin’s was a miscommunication on both their parts.
Dustin exited the kitchen and Nancy came in. She spotted Will standing at the sink and turned to Steve.
“I would rather he not be here for this,” she said, her tone clipped.
“And I would rather have not gotten several shovel talks that took an intervention from your boyfriend to get you people to realize you’d hurt me,” Steve replied. “But here we are.”
She pursed her lips and Will raised an eyebrow at her daring her to press the issue farther.
Nancy decided to take the high road and ignore Will instead. “It was wrong of me to threaten you with my gun collection. I realize that you and Eddie are adults that can make their own decisions.”
Steve and Will looked at each other in disbelief.
“What?” she asked.
“That wasn’t an apology,” Will said.
“I admitted to being wrong,” Nancy said with a frown. “That’s what I’m supposed to be doing, right?”
Steve sighed. And that right there was why they never would have worked. “You’re supposed to be sorry that you hurt my feelings, but I’m getting the impression that you aren’t.”
Nancy sighed. “Your feelings were only hurt because there were so many of them. If it was only me or me and a couple of others, you’d be fine.”
“What?!” Will squawked. “That’s not the point!”
“Nance,” Jonathan said from the doorway. They all turned and looked at him. He was leaning against the doorway, arms folded and legs crossed at the ankle. “This isn’t what we talked about and you know it.”
Nancy looked defeated. She turned back to Steve. “I’m sorry about how I treated you. For all of it. Not just the shovel talk thing. You’re a good person. You deserved better than me and when you got him, I was jealous. Of course I love Jonathan.” She turned to him. “I do!” She turned back to Steve. “But you and Eddie have something so special and...” she threw her arms in the air. “I don’t know.”
“So you gave me the shovel talk about not hurting Eddie,” Steve said, “because you were jealous that I was able to find someone better than you?”
“That makes me sound like a horrible person,” she whispered.
“It really does,” Will agreed.
Nancy crossed her arms and looked at the floor. “I just wanted you realize how special what you have with Eddie is. And instead of talking to you like an actual adult, I threatened you instead. That was wrong and I am sorry. You don’t deserve it.”
Steve pulled her in for a hug, too. “I think this is why we would have never worked out, Nance. I love you and I think I always will. But sometimes you get lost in your head and let it do all the talking. Which means the people around you get hurt.”
She nodded. “I just want people to hear me that I forget they have feelings, too.”
“Just remember that,” he murmured, “and we’re good, okay?”
“Okay...” she said softly.
Steve gave Nancy a squeeze and then let her go.
Jonathan turned to Will. “El’s here, too. Why don’t you go keep her from murdering Nancy and Dustin while I handle the next one?”
Will wavered and then nodded, following Nancy out to the front room.
Steve watched him go with a frown. “What was that about?”
And then Mike walked in and Steve’s eyes went wide and he mouthed, ‘Oh.’
Mike stood there between Jonathan and Steve looking at the ground and Steve was struck by how much alike the two Wheeler siblings were.
“This should be by far the most interesting of the apologies,” Steve said. “Whatcha got, Wheeler?”
Mike looked up at him a little stunned. “At the meeting...intervention? Fuck I don’t know what to call it. But Jonathan said something that stuck with me. That you haven’t been that stuck up prick in years.”
Steve raised an eyebrow at Jonathan who just shrugged.
“And it got me thinking,” Mike continued. “Why am I so hostile to you? Because you dated Nancy? But that doesn’t makes sense because I don’t treat Jonathan that way.”
“Did you find an answer?” Steve asked.
Mike shook his head. “And that’s when I realized that I was doing it out of habit.”
Steve huffed out a laugh. “Being a dick was a habit?”
“Being a dick to you was a habit,” Mike corrected. “And that’s not right. Holding a grudge for something you did so long ago and getting mad at you when you said it bothered you? That’s not fair.”
“Life rarely is,” Steve said softly.
Mike cocked his head. “True, but that doesn’t mean I have to actively make it worse.”
Steve nodded appreciatively. “Also true.”
Mike stood up straighter and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick to you. But I also was only joking about Eddie. For me it wasn’t serious, but hearing that everyone had given you the shovel talk? Holy shit, man, that wasn’t right. The reason I thought it was a joke was because anyone who’s spent more than five minutes with Eddie knows he doesn’t take shit from anyone. If anyone was going to bury you for being a dick to him, it would be Eddie himself.”
Jonathan and Steve glanced at each other and nodded.
“But after I heard that everyone else had done it and meant it?” Mike continued. “Yeah, that was bullshit. So I’m sorry it got out of hand. I’m sorry if my joke added to your suffering. Because I never meant it hurt. Honest.”
Steve sighed. “Yeah. I see where you’re coming from and I accept your apology.”
Mike stood there awkwardly tugging at his shirt hem. “Can I get a hug, too?”
Steve smiled and stepped up to wrap his arms around Mike’s shoulders. Mike sighed and leaned into the hug. He didn’t return the hug, but just stood there enjoying the warmth.
After a few moments, he took a step back and cleared his throat. “Thanks.” He sniffled and then turned to Jonathan. “You won’t tell Nancy about this, will you?”
Jonathan shook his head. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
Steve nodded. “I’m not going to tell anyone shit, man.”
Mike relaxed. “Right. Thanks.”
And he shuffled back to the front room, still sniffling.
“That was certainly something,” Jonathan said after a moment.
Steve chuckled shaking his head. “Those Wheeler kids, whew.”
Jonathan laughed. “Happy to have dodged that bullet?”
“You have no idea, man,” Steve said. “You have no idea.”
***
Part Five Part Six
Tag List: @justforthedead89 @zerokrox-blog @ihavekidneys @didntwant2come @thelittleclare @liorereshkigal @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @telidina @stevesbipanic @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @jonesn4coffee @resident-gay-bitch @obliosworld @croatoan-like-its-hot @evix-syne666 @emly03
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Advent Calendar: Day Two
Winter Dates - Fighting Back to Back - Spies AU || "You have a choice."
Andrew Minyard x Neil Josten
@allforthegamebingo
Neil was restless. Nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was going pretty well. He and Andrew had the Columbia house to themselves for the week. Kevin was spending Christmas with Jean and Jeremy in California. Matt and Dan were visiting Matt’s mom, and Renee was out visiting her mom as well. Aaron had decided to spend the holidays with Katelyn and her family. Allison took the opportunity to go spend Christmas in New York and ‘get her shop on’ as she had said. Nicky had booked a flight out to Germany as soon as he knew the time of his last final.
Everyone was happy. Neil was happy. He had been around Andrew for a week with no interruptions. Andrew had been cooking for him all week and they’d been watching TV and going on walks. Andrew had banned all talk of Exy so that meant Neil couldn’t watch any games, practice, or talk about anything Exy related (which also meant no talk of Kevin).
He wasn’t bored per se. He could never be bored with Andrew, but he was restless. Andrew noticed, because of could he did.
Neil was sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing as snow fell in flurries on the screen in front of him. They were watching a Hallmark Christmas movie. He hated them but Andrew found some form of amusement in them. Neil didn’t question it.
A pair of keys flew into his periphery and he only barely caught them before they smacked into his forehead. “We’re going out. Are you driving or am I?” Neil found himself on his feet before he fully processed the sentence. “You.”
He was out of the door before Andrew had gotten a chance to grab his coat. Waiting by the car he almost wished he’d grabbed his own jacket. The wind was whipping about and the temperatures had dropped as far as South Carolina allowed. He smiled softly when Andrew walked out of the house with Neil’s jacket slung over his arm and his cigarettes and car keys in his hand.
He grabbed the jacket Andrew offered with a raised eyebrow. “Thank ya.” He said in a poor imitation of Coach. Andrew rolled his eyes and slammed the car door shut after him. Neil let himself smile as he opened the passenger side before climbing in.
“Where are we going?” He asked as Andrew started the car. Andrew lit a cigarette and rolled the windows down as he pulled out of the driveway. “Anywhere. You’re bothering me with your restlessness. You’re just lucky I chose to take you out this way instead of murder.” Neil let out a huffed laugh. “If you wanted to take me out all you had to do was ask, babe.” He said before winking obnoxiously.
With a sigh, Andrew shook his head and turned onto the highway. “This is not a date.” Neil nodded and turned his attention towards the window. He stuck his arm out and felt the wind as it pushed its way through his fingers. It was quiet for a few moments before Neil started talking.
“When we were on the run, the winter holidays were the easiest time to hide. Everyone was out shopping for Christmas and it made it so easy to blend in. We spent all day in stores. We never bought anything. We couldn’t afford to waste the money like that, but it was fun to window shop as a kid. There were always so many toys and it was fun to pretend to be someone else for a while.” Andrew was silent but Neil could tell he was listening intently. His face a false mask of nonchalance.
“There was this one year when Mom was in a weirdly decent mood, she decided it would be okay to go look at Christmas lights. I think now, looking back at it, she was having a breakdown or maybe she was just really drunk. There was this rich neighborhood about ten minutes from where we were staying at the time and they had this themed Christmas light story. Everyone went to see it around the holidays and Mom took us because there were so many people no one would think of us as out of place.” Neil felt the corner of his lips pull up slightly in a bittersweet way. “It was one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Mom didn’t yell or hit or curse at me for anything. The lights were beautiful. I asked to go out again a few nights later and Mom slapped me across the face and locked me in the motel closet before leaving for a day and a half. I never asked to go again.”
Andrew’s knuckles were white from clutching the steering wheel. “Your Mom was a bitch.” Neil laughed but it felt weird falling out of his mouth. “She could be.” Andrew took a hard right and cut across four lanes to take the exit off the highway. Neil held his breath and gripped the door handle desperately. “Christ, Andrew. Where are you going?” Andrew didn’t look at him when he answered. “We’re going to look at Christmas lights.”
Neil felt his chest constrict tightly and let out an unsteady breath. He turned his head to look at Andrew, but Andrew’s face gave away nothing. It was at times like this that he really wondered how people could see Andrew as a monster. He so obviously cared for people. The foxes would probably argue that he only really cared for Neil but he knew that was untrue. It was obvious in the way he was saving the money he was making to pay off Nicky’s debts. It was obvious in the way he begrudgingly asked Aaron about Katelyn. It was obvious in the way he always made time for Renee. It was obvious in the way he protected Kevin even after their deal broke. It was abundantly obvious to Neil that Andrew cared for all of the foxes but it still sometimes shocked him how deeply Andrew cared for him in particular.
Neil didn’t say anything but he reached over the console and grabbed Andrew’s hand, gently lacing their fingers together. He brought their joint hands to his mouth before letting them rest on the console.
“One of the first Christmas’s Nicky had us, he took us to go look at Christmas lights. There weren’t any nice neighborhoods around us so it was mostly run-down houses with three strands of lights so it wasn’t much to look at. He told us that it was one of the things he missed most while living in Germany. His parents used to take him when he was really young and they would rate the Christmas decorations. He made us do it that year. He was trying so hard but Aaron and I were so angry all of the time. It was probably the first time I had anything remotely close to fun after Aaron’s mom died.” Neil listened closely to Andrew’s story but he didn’t respond. He knew Andrew didn’t really want him to.
A truth for a truth.
It was silent for a while before Neil pointed at a neighborhood they were about to pass. “Let’s look at this one.” Andrew turned in and they were accosted by bright lights.
“Wait, slow down. That one is certainly a 3/10.” Andrew slowed the car down but his eyes fixated on Neil. Neil held his breath to wait for Andrew’s reaction but after only a moment he looked past Neil and out his window. “A 3/10 is generous. That has to be a 0/10.”
Half of the lights had gone out and the other half were falling off the side of the house. Neil makes an offended noise from the passenger seat. “At least it has lights.”
Andrew shook his head. “We’re rating Christmas lights, not the empty houses. That house warrants a 0.” Neil let out a huffed laugh before turning his attention back to the houses. “I guess. Take a left up here.” Andrew released a put out huff but complied.
The house at the end of the street had gone all out. There were bright, colorful lights strung up on every crevice of the house. Plastic reindeer, penguins, elves, and a random baby Jesus decorated the lawn. On the roof, an inflated Santa was being stuffed down the chimney.
“That has to be a 9/10.” Neil said as he pointed in front of them for Andrew to see. Andrew clucked his tongue and shook his head. “Disagree. That’s maybe a 6.5/10.” He turned his head to Andrew and scrunched his nose. “What? Why?” Andrew used their joint hands to point at the lights hung around their house. “Too many lights and they’re way too colorful.” Neil hums in consideration. “You don’t like colorful lights?” Andrew shook his head and turned to Neil with a small uptick to his mouth. “That’s why all the lights in our room are warm lights. The Christmas tree too.”
“We have a Christmas tree?” Andrew rolled his eyes and turned down another street. “Yes, Neil. We have a Christmas tree. I just pick and choose which years we put it up.” Neil turned his attention back to the houses with a quiet, huh.
They spent two and a half hours looking at Christmas lights and rating them horribly. On the way home they stopped to get hot chocolate and Neil let Andrew talk him into getting one. He really only got it because he knew Andrew would drink it once he had his share.
They pulled up to the house and Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand briefly before letting it go.
“So, not a date, huh?” Andrew rolled his eyes and slammed the car door shut to block out Neil’s laughter.
#trauma bonding#aftg#all for the game#andrew minyard#neil josten#winter dates#aftg advent calendar 2024#christmas lights#drives#night drives#nicky hemmick#i got a little carried away#drabble
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