#this is kind of a personal vent

[thedevilundercover]

I think Tim would be a little uncomfortable talking about himself to other people and that pisses people off for some reason.

People throw around words like unaffectionate and robotic at him but he really loves them. He just can’t tell them or behave “affectionately”

Someone in the family probably has had a fight with him or something (bc when the fuck are they not fighting) and they yell at him for not caring about anyone and he just like breaks down

He wants to yell at them that he loves everyone so fucking much that it hurts and he’d given up so much for the rest of them, put up with so much shit, but when he opens his mouth, the right words never come out and he just fucks everything up when it comes to emotions so he just… doesn’t talk about it.

A large part of being toxically independent/being surrounded by an environment that romanticises being really independent from a young age, sometimes, is compartmentalising your trauma and therefore your emotions.

Also, he gives off “ableist parents never let me get a diagnosis so I’m always struggling but I’ve always been held up to neurotypical standards” vibes

[toomanywordsnllines]

Sometimes... the world can be a little too much.

[mcsiggy]

Stuff I did when I was in middle school around the mid 2000's.

[bunnyboy-juice]

"fat ppl are so hot and bangable. fat people are sexy. i want to fuck fatties" okok heard but do you actually like us as people? do you know anything abt the fat creators u follow who share things abt their lives? how do you treat fat ppl who are undesirable to you? do you listen to us when we are screaming about the ways that fatphobia is everywhere? no not mindlessly reblog, but listen and internalize. do you take the time to unpack your biases against fat ppl? or even the fatphobia you absolutely were taught growing up? do you hold your thin/not fat friends accountable when they compare themselves to us because they dont like the way they look? do you advocate for us when people make us the butt of jokes? do you actually date fat people? do you befriend fat people? are you kind to fat strangers you don't find attractive? do you feel the need to qualify your love for fat people? do you love any fat people who arent related to you? do you respect fat ppl of all sizes? what do you consider "fat"? is it just someone with bigger than average boobs/butt? do you like fat people with small boobs/butts? does "we love bellies here" include large bellies covered in stretch marks? does it include bellies with multiple rolls and skin discoloration because of those rolls? does it include those things together? when you say fat do you mean actual fat people? do you include fat people who arent white? who are disabled? who reject the expectations of hyper femininity/hyper masculinity? when the trend of wanting to fuck certain fat ppl wears off yet again will you continue to desire us? to love us? to cherish us? do you see us as people even when we do not give you sexual access to our bodies?

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’ve talked about this before but a bpd symptom i absolutely HATE is the lack of emotional permanence.

no matter how many loving people i have in my life, the second they are gone it's like i was never loved and that it's all in my imagination but as soon as they come back, it's like i've never been sad

[oceanwithouthermoon]

maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying

[charrfie]

[hotwaterandmilk]

Without going into detail I had a medical emergency earlier this week that saw me wind up in hospital for a brief stint. I'm OK, I've got another lifelong condition to manage but it's mainly pain-related and that means it's management through outpatient neurology for me.

TL;DR it sucks, but it won't kill me so I don't want to dwell on it.

I just want to shout out to my beautiful cat who slept beside me for twelve hours straight after I got home and was nice to the paramedics when they were doing their job. She makes even the worst situations bearable. Love her, here's an artist's impression I commissioned:

While I still have a lot of plans for working on my Wedding Peach site, this new complication may slow me down a bit. I'll keep on keeping on though, you know me. Thanks for your patience.

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”

[phoebespenglers]

can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.

[stealingyourbones]

Gotta love when folks write Superman incredibly anti-clone even though he had good reason in the beginning to Not Like Superboy (HES A WINDOW INTO WHAT CLARK WOULD HAVE BEEN WITHOUT THE KENTS) and decide that forever on he’ll be spiteful towards clones even though he literally Does Not Care if you’re a clone unless you’re Superboy.

[phoenix----rising]

𝐼 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒...𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠, 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛...𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒, 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒...

𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑠... 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒...

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 / 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛....𝐼 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦...

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒...

𝐼 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠..

𝐼 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛...𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑢𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒/𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒/𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛... (𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟... 𝐿𝑜𝑙)

𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑟 𝑎𝑝𝑝...𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙... 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒-𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡...𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢...𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒/𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑝𝑢𝑡/𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑖𝑡 𝑀𝑜𝑑𝑒...𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒/ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 "𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑦" 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒...

𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑛𝑎𝑖̈𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙/𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑐/𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑒/𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒....𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑....𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙...𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙, 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙, 𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔...𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦...𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡. 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑘𝑒𝑦...𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 "𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘", 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠...𝑃𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑢𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ... 𝐼 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑, 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑... 𝐴 𝐿𝑂𝑇...

𝐼𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑢𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒...𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔... 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑗𝑎 𝑣𝑢 𝑒𝑡𝑐...𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙...𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑤...𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑦...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑... 𝐾𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐺𝑃𝑆... 𝑅𝑛, 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑡ℎ... 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙/ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.. 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦/𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢...𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 "𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒"...𝐼 ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ...𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡...𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛... 𝐾𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑎...𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 "𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑚" 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦...𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠...𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑝𝑙 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑀𝑒! 𝐴 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛....𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑀𝐸𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢...

𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠, 𝐼 𝐴𝑀 𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛... 𝐴 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔...

𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟...

[medicalunprofessional]

flood

~♫

[stemgirlchic]

secret spy mission for when you're not okay

broken into "really really not okay" "really not okay" and "not okay"

really really not okay: mission stay safe

make sure you're in a safe place

hug your pillow, get under your blankets, anything that can be a little bit of comfort

if you're watching/reading/otherwise consuming something that's triggering you, put it away. or at least put it down for a moment. even if it's your work, even if it's an important news story that deserves your attention, it's okay. there will be other times to interact with it

if you're having bad impulses - rip a piece of paper, hit something soft, hell even throw something (preferably not something expensive but anything is better than hurting yourself or someone else)

deep breaths. i know it's cliche but it helps

ground yourself: 3 things you see, 2 things you hear, 1 think you feel.

really not okay: mission stabilize (pick 1-2 of these mission objectives)

watch funny videos online (i like SNL and clips from the office)

read a chapter of that book you set aside

if you can, get some fresh air, whether that's a short walk or just opening a window

if you're up for it, exercise can help, even just some stretching

work out your feelings creatively: draw, write angsty teenage poetry, sing a ballad in the shower, anything. we are creative creatures.

listen to some music - my friends all like listening to sad music when they're upset, but i find happy music helps. whatever works for you.

text/call/chat with someone you care about, even if it's unrelated to how you're feeling rn. just a meme or an emoji even, remind yourself you are loved.

not okay: mission small steps

get yourself some water

get a snack - it doesn't have to be complicated. a piece of fruit, some cheese and crackers, some chips, popcorn, pretzels, leftovers from last night. don't feel bad. this is productive. you are being productive. this is what you need rn.

turn on some chill music

make a list of the things you have to do - "must do today or there will be severe consequences", "should probably do today", "don't have to do today"

put aside the "don't have to do today". it's okay. there will be other days, better days. dramatically rip off that part of your to-do list, crumble it up, and throw it in the nearest trash can basketball star style.

start with your must dos. work for 15 minutes, then take a 5 minute break. if you can't do 15 minutes straight, do whatever time amount you can do. slow progress is still progress. i'm so proud of you.

take a nice, rewarding break after your must dos. you deserve it. then - reassess. are you up for your "should dos"? if so, repeat the last bullet point with them. if not, that's okay. there will be other days.

you did it. i'm so proud of you. one day you will look back on today and think "wow, i was so strong for getting through that. i can't believe i got through that" and you will be right. because you are so strong. ily <3 you are the best spy ever.

[sergle]

I turned off rbs on that earlier post abt the AU that thin people live in because I could feel it wanting to grow legs. and. contrary to popular belief, I do Actually value my sanity. a snippet before I go finish making my stew: what's unsaid here, but should be EXTREMELY OBVIOUS. Is that nobody takes issue with someone who is thin, making their own post or talking to a friend, bringing up a time someone made unsolicited comments about their body. and complaining, bc who isn't going to complain abt someone being shitty at you. (that's not "skinnyphobia" btw it's usually just misogyny) but that's not what happens, bc what happens is that someone uses the time Jimmy called them emaciated in high school as a REBUTTAL, AGAINST a fat person who was already talking about their own bad experience. and that one time the dress shop didn't carry XXXS is Proof that fatphobia isn't real and that thin people suffer just as much. check and mate. your thing can't be true, because someone was mean to me Once.