#this is just v important to my portrayal

[mac1ay]

ㅤㅤㅤtara loves unconditionally. her heart is big and her soul even bigger. she tends to default to giving the benefit of doubt, and is always available to give room to those who need it. however, she, like most, also has limits. manipulation and deliberate re-triggering of one's trauma, including her own, is a hard and fast no. there's no coming back from that, not even with a heart made of gold.

[chuplayswithfire]

So this honest to god essay of a response was originally sparked in conversation with someone else about my thoughts on the ways that the Sailor Moon manga (and it's author, Naoko Takeuichi) engaged with the subject of gender norms, gender expression, and specifically how that's expressed in the casual and comfortable ways that various women in Sailor Moon engage with themselves and others.

The conversation I had with that person ended up more heavily focused on other things, but I really like the writing I did here, and really, what is Tumblr for, but sharing the unnecessary essays you wrote for no other reason than because you had so many thoughts and not enough time to express them all?

The conversation that sparked this essay started with the other party sharing that they felt the manga's decision to have Usagi and Minako use their disguise tools to transform into men was playing into 90s era gags about gender, that Haruka was a Takarazuka Revue reference and nothing more, and that the manga's portrayal of the Starlights was rooted in Naoko's hatred for the idea of boys being Senshi. I disgareed with all of those sentiments… and thus was the essay born.

So here it is!

One thing I feel is pretty important is that Sailor Moon as a series has been rooted in conversation about and regarding gender norms and societal pressures placed on women in Japan from the beginning - it's a conversation that many Mahou Shoujo series engage in, and I see a failure to understand that conversation in this summary of events, which may explain why what the manga represents as at times casual but always whole-hearts explorations of gender and sexuality, could come across as dismissive gags or shallow references to someone unfamiliar with the source material. Assuming that there's no greater thought to any of this, however, is more dismissive than the series deserves.

I could - and almost did - write an entire treatise, running through the various ways that Sailor Moon as a series exists to combat and rework gender stereotypes, starting with the fact that in 80s to 90s Japanese culture, Usagi Tsukino was not the most feminine lead, with interests that marked her as boyish (enjoying video games and comics, a boisterous love of eating and a large appetite, rather than having a dainty diet) that were embraced as part of the characteristics that make Usagi who she is, rather than being used to put her down. That's not to say Usagi's some huge tomboy - she's not! But she was not the ultimately girly girl protagonist either, and as far as the time period went, she was fairly evenly mixed on having "boyish" and "girlish" interests.

It's not the most obvious place to start with Sailor Moon's conversation about gender and girlhood, but it ''is'' part of the conversation, just like the decision to have Sailor V/Minako Aino and then Sailor Moon/Usagi Tsukino be ''warriors'' was a decision made with thoughts towards gender as well, because the Senshi are warriors who are girls, and they are celebrated for it. Made at a point when the majority of Mahou Shoujo series were still more comedic and based more in helping around the community rather than fighting evil, Sailor Moon is generally regarded as the series which that combined Magical Girls with the sentai-style formula that had already been popularized by series like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai - both series predominantly featuring ''men'' who save the world (though Super Sentai teams usually have at least one woman on the team).

The conversation extends further than just being girls who fight crime with magical transformations, though. Even the fact that in Sailor Moon, the Senshi's transformation phrases involve the words "Make Up" is about gender, and femininity, and expressions of womanhood as a form of strength. Because make up and the wearing of it for personal enjoyment and beauty was seen as either a frivolity or a silly girly thing, having it be a part of the Sailor Senshi's power was reclaiming that and centering the having of power as feminine. Everything about the Senshi's designs was both based in what Naoko personally thought of as cute and in conversation with Japanese views on gender and society.

So with all that said, to address the idea of Usagi having been disguised as a boy once only for the sake of a one-time gag:

Usagi uses the disguise pen to become a groom (a groom who is a man, specifically, rather than a woman who claims for herself the title of groom) in the Sailor Moon manga in chapter 5, when Makoto is introduced. It is not as a gag, because a gag by definition requires something to be comedic.

There is nothing comedic about Usagi's transformation into a groom - in fact, it is played in full seriousness and as a rescue of Makoto's heart as much as her physical self. In the context of the manga, a youma has been disguising itself as a bride to capture, control, and drain men, as well as using those men to lure in women for capture. Makoto and Motoki are the victims of the day, with Motoki being brainwashed by the bride youma and Makoto falling under his influence - Usagi becomes a groom, not as a gag, not as a trick, not as a trap, but to come to Makoto's rescue in the same form that she's been manipulated in, restoring the romantic fantasy while also rebuking the bride youma.

It's a very short appearance - two pages - which is how most of the manga's uses of the disguise pen function; they are short-lived disguises for a specific purpose. In Usagi's case, it is to specifically take on the male form to rebuke the bride youma for manipulating others with beauty (the beautiful bride monster vs the handsome groom that is Usagi) and the sweet murmurs of love. Motoki, under the influence of the youma, told Makoto that he loved her, that he was waiting for her, answering all her girlish dreams. Usagi, as the groom, is stepping up to counteract the destruction of those dreams. Again, it's a short-lived moment, but it's not a gag. There are very few gags in the manga over all, because it's not a comedic series, it's a dramatic one, an action focused one, a romance one, but not a comedy, and this isn't one of those few gags.

I mentioned Minako transforming as well and I assume the same view that saw Usagi's transformation as a gag would would interpret these moments as a gag as well, so let me be clear - neither of those moments are a gag either, and it's not treated as a funny haha thing that Minako has done. She does it twice, both times comfortable transforming her gender to complete missions - the first time is in Codename Sailor V Chapter 4, in which a different youma is attacking and kidnapping male idols. Minako uses her disguise compact to become a male idol and infiltrate the area the youma is expected to appear again, both to avoid detection from the police, and to lure the youma in to revealing her position so she can be defeated.

Minako's transformation into a boy is treated as a utilitarian disguise, yes, but it's also clearly shown that she is indeed a "pretty boy idol" who is also Minako Aino. As a pretty boy idol, Minako maintains all usual personality, and expression but is very distinctly and visibly a cis male, in the same way that she is usually a cis girl, exemplified by a flattened chest and pectoral muscles. Once the youma has been lured in, Minako transforms into Sailor V - just as Usagi transformed into Sailor Moon - and rebukes the youma for turning innocent men into her slaves and being a disgrace to women.

In her second transformation into a boy, in Sailor Moon chapter 29, Minako transforms into a male student of Mugen Academy so she can sneak into Mimete's concert. It's also not portrayed as a gag - Minako could transform into a female student if she wanted to, something we explicitly know because Usagi has transformed into a female Mugen Academy student.

She ''chooses'' to become a male student, by which I mean Naoko chooses to write her as becoming a male student, and Minako is treated the exact same way as a male student by the narrative as she's normally treated when she's female, hanging out with other students, enjoying the concert, acting utterly normally. It is clearly not a big deal for Minako to be a boy or a girl.

All three of these transformations are treated casually, which I suppose could come across as trivializing to some, rather than as some deep personal struggle, but this is something that people have related to for thirty years. Thirty years, of people recognizing themselves in Usagi and Minako's easy but brief and comfortable existences as boys, because that is how many people - including myself! - experience being genderqueer - an equal comfort in existing as a woman or a man or as both or as neither, and in all cases an equal recognition of the self. These are brief appearances; everything in Sailor Moon's manga is brief, strung together moments that come together for a whole.

But Usagi becomes a boy effortlessly to protect Makoto's heart and Minako becomes a boy effortlessly to defeat a youma, to infiltrate Mugen Academy, and they are both casual and honest reflections of them being another gender, while being themselves. In a time where gender transformation was often a joke,

Looking outside of our heroes, we'll see other times in Sailor Moon where characters are comfortably presented as engaging in transformative gender expression: in the Nephrite's Shadow is represented as a woman, with no apparently discomfort or comedy for him; there is again, no specific reason that Nephrite's own Shadow is a women, except for Noako's consistent genderplay and interest in exploring gender as something beyond a binary of those are men and those are women.

Likewise, Zoisite disguises himself as a woman in his primary appearance as well, again, not something he has to do. The persistent appearance of characters choosing to express themselves as another gender, in non-comedic fashion, shows that this isn't something that Naoko did as a one-off thought, but builds into her overall presentation of gender and sexuality as the series goes on.

Now, address your second point: Haruka is modeled after the takarazuka revue. I can't say that there's no influence there - Haruka was in fact originally envisioned as being part of Takarazuka theater, playing a male role - but that's not *all* Haruka is. The Sailor Moon anime made the decision to establish a sharp gender binary with Haruka and Michiru, with Haruka as the masculine butch and Michiru as the femme, but in the Sailor Moon manga Haruka is presented in both highly masculine attire and highly feminine attire, preferring to wear the male school uniform but wearing very feminine outfits, and Usagi outright asks her if she is a man or a woman, because she wears both roles extremely well.

The manga doesn't use the language of nonbinary because Japanese doesn't ''have'' that language - a lot of terms for beings transgender and having different gender roles are loanwords borrowed from English. But Naoko has stated that Haruka has the heart of a man, that she likes to wear mini skirts and daisy dukes. Usagi's narration regarding Haruka states in chapter 29, "this person looks like a man and a woman". This is in fact the same chapter where Minako again becomes a boy, and I don't think its unintentional that in the same chapter that Usagi is questioning and understanding that a person can be both a man and a woman, Minako is choosing to again present herself as a boy while on a mission.

In chapter 30, Usagi asks Haruka outright, "Haruka, are you a man? Or are you a woman?" To which Haruka responds with "Man, woman. Why would something like that matter?" And then pulls her in as if to kiss her - this was the 90s, almost a decade before Tokyo Godfathers, another critical piece of Japanese media that talks explicitly about trans people by having one of the main characters be a trans woman - would come out. Neptune, speaking of Uranus, says in Chapter 32: "Uranus is like a man and a woman in one. She has the strengths of both genders, it is her special advantage as a soldier.

Sailor Moon was not the only series to explore gender and sexuality but it was one of the pioneering series' to explore it in teen/young adult media in Japan. Haruka is not someone who can be minimized as a tarazuka reference, she is as explicitly nonbinary as it was possible to be, with the language and information available at the time. The manga is in conversation with gender and stereotyping and societal pressures the entire time.

It's also not a coincidence that this is in the part of the manga that Usagi and Mamoru are having relationship troubles, struggling with the thought of attraction to other people, attraction to each other. This is the portion of the manga where they mature as a couple and have sexual activity for the first time, though of course its not specific and vague about the actual physical intimacies. Naoko was very intentionally having a conversation with the manga, one which explored what it means to be a woman, to grow up, to be in a relationship and mature and grow and ''be'' in the world.

Now, we get to the last part of the initial question, "As for the starlights, apparently Naoko hated the idea of boys being senshi, so instead she walked it back to standard gender bending of the time."

I've kept this assertion from the original conversation intact because this idea is one that exists outside of this conversation I had, and it's completely factually incorrect.

Naoko *created* the Starlights. She *created* their characters, and did not walk anything back.

In fact, the original anime is the one who made the Starlights into the example standard gender bending of the time - the classic 90s anime is what created the idea of the Starlights transforming from men as civilians and women as Soldiers. This was a choice they made that did not match Naoko's vision of the characters. When she spoke about the Starlights in interviews, it was to say that Senshi are always girls - which was a statement made in 1998, at a time when women's rights were still being fought for in both Japan and the United States (where she made the comment! She was in California at the time). Having the heroes of her story, the soldiers, the fighters, be ''women'' was a statement about protecting her brand and series as primarily for girls, about girls, with girls.

And in her series, girls can become boys. Girls can have the heart of a man. Girls can be both men and women. It's a limitation of language and the era that we have to remember, looking from 2024, at a manga started in the early 90s and finishing its run in the late 90s.

In the manga, the Starlights are always women, but they wear masculine attire as civilians, while their senshi forms are not especially feminine, but rather make it clear that they have the physical traits associated with women, are fairly femme as soldiers. In other words, they're butch in their civilian lives, but they aren't men. They are girls who can be masculine. They are women who can present as men. They are a continued exploration of Sailor Moon's on-going discussion of gender. It was about girls getting to be the warriors who save the world, women getting to be the centerpoint on which the universe turns.

It was the original anime that would rather portray Seiya as a man when he's trying to flirt with and woo Usagi, rather than keep Seiya's original presentation as a woman who presents masculine at times.

There are so many more points or characters I could have talked about, but in general, the entire manga factors into the question of gender exploration, particular in regards to what it means to be a girl, what it means to express gender, what it means for Sailor Senshi to be girls, and what being a girl means.

Sailor Moon's manga has many themes but one that consistently comes back is the gender play, and the way that Naoko expresses gender in characters.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Nuanced and Multifaceted Conflict vs. “Good v. Evil” in fiction

So. This is another thing I’ve wanted to talk about for a while. I promise I won’t always be focusing on Helluva Boss in my critiques, and I actually have quite a few other series I want to talk about.

There���s a big chance that I’ll be saying everything other people have already said, but I can’t help but WANT to talk about this specific character in regard to the story’s conflict. I think that it’s important to recognize when a character is written to be a complex person, and when a character is written to be an enemy to be defeated, and how not following through with your set-up can affect your story.

And HB does that A LOT in my opinion.

So. Let’s get into it. This time I’ll be talking about complex conflict between characters vs. black and white conflict, and I’ll also be touching on story set-ups and audience expectations.

I want to talk about a character who could have really made some of the internal character conflicts have so much more depth and intrigue. I want to talk about Stella Goetia

*as a side note this post is MUCH longer than I intended but I really wanted to get into a lot of the background and reasons for how Stella’s character development has actually completely changed what HB’d story conflict could have looked like. I’ll try and sum up everything in the end in a TLDR for y’all

So. Most of the reviews of her character I see talk about how she’s been “ruined” by the writing team revealing that she’s always been very abusive towards Stolas

I have to start off by saying I actually don’t think that Stella or her portrayal was “ruined” by the writing direction her character has been taken in.

In fact, this critique bothers me, because it doesn’t really get to what I think the actual root of why people are disappointed in Stella’s characterization, and the type of conflict that now exists between her and Stolas.

The main reason I believe people are unsatisfied with Stella is because they believed that her character was being set up for a complex and nuanced conflict between her and Stolas, and then that turned out not to be the case.

A quick disclaimer- I do think it’s possible to subvert audience expectations about story and characters in a satisfying way. But it has to be done in a way that respects the audiences intelligence and willingness to think about the story.

If your plot-twist, unreliable narrator, subversion, or what-have-you is done well, the audience should be able to either figure out what’s going based on the little information you’ve given them, and if they don’t, the change or subversion should still make sense and CLICK in hindsight.

Otherwise, your subversion will end up feeling cheap or confusing. Or worse, like a lie.

And this is one of the MAIN issues I think people have with Stella.

As the audience, we were NOT given enough information on her or her character before it’s revealed that she’s just “evil” and always has been, apparently since she was a literal child.

Again, I don’t think it’s an inherently bad decision to have a flat or pure evil villain. I’m fine with Stella being one, even if it’s less interesting to me personally.

But it’s definitely very different from what was initially implied and set-up, and the audience can pick up on that.

Before S2E1 “The Circus” we see Stella a total of 3 times in person, with one time being a flashback.

I’m going to go over those times to analyze if anything set-up in Stella’s appearances points towards her being. Well, totally and irredeemably awful and abusive I guess.

The very first time we see Stella is in the same bed with Stolas—Octavia calls for her parents, both Stolas AND Stella. Stella grumbles and refuses to get up and tells Stolas to go. This doesn’t immediately strike me as a sign of her being a terrible person. That exact scenario is present in a lot of family comedies, kids’ movies, and sitcoms.

Nothing about this screams that Stella is a terrible parent or an abusive partner to me. It just tells me she’s tired and doesn’t want to get up, which again, is not uncommon.

The next time we see her, she’s yelling at Stolas, and she throws a servant at him in anger.

Now, there’s no excuse for this, her behavior here is not okay, regardless of her feelings. But we understand why she’s acting the way she is--she’s furious with Stolas for cheating on her. At this point with the information we have, it’s also very reasonable to believe her feelings have been hurt.

Later Octavia talks about how her parents didn’t used to hate each other, and the way Stolas’ tries to explain their failing marriage to her comes across like his relationship with Stella is one that’s always had difficulties that they have tried and failed to overcome.

None of this information is enough to really convey or hint that Stella is and has always been abusive or evil. It shows that Stella and Stolas have a very rough relationship, and that Stella most likely has anger management difficulties, but you have to do lot of extra work to come to the conclusion that Stella is completely at fault here.

The next time we see her though, things have clearly escalated, because it’s revealed that she’s one that hired Striker to assassinate Stolas.

Now. Usually. Yeah. That would be a HUGE red flag. And I mean. It still obviously is.

But, and I never thought I’d use this uno reverse card, this is one of the few times where the explanation of “But it’s hell, what did you expect???” actually makes sense to me.

Because yeah, it is hell. It’s the end of episode 5 when we learn this, and our protagonists have killed and assassinated multiple people. Taking a hit out on people really doesn’t seem to be that uncommon of a thing in hell.

Even the next scene after the reveal that Stella is the one who hired Striker makes light of how serious this is, by showing that Stella was basically yelling her assassination plot right to Stolas’ face.

This is played for laughs! I genuinely am not sure if the writers intended for this to be foreshadowing of Stella’s abuse or not because if so, they turned her attempting to kill her husband into a joke!

If you cannot keep your themes or tone consistent, how is the audience supposed to follow your story?

There is subtle storytelling, and then there’s tacking information and character points later on in your writing. And this can have two causes.

Either your audience has to do the work of story-telling for you and make up their own reasons for what’s happening to make the story coherent OR they will be disappointed and dissatisfied by the final product.

I think that’s the main reason why S2E1 of Helluva Boss felt so jarring story-wise, and why Stella, to me at least, suddenly felt like a brand new character.

Like I haven’t been this confused by a character being suddenly evil since Hans from Frozen.

(like seriously why the hell did they put this scene in if not to just trick the audience. This isn’t giving us any plot info it’s only giving us contradictory info on his character. Like I talked about before, Hans’ heel-face-turn doesn’t feel like a twist. It feels like a lie.)

Okay so, how does any of this actually affect anything? Who cares if Stella is evil, that doesn’t automatically make the story bad!

Well. Yeah, of course not. Ironically, having the main conflict your story being a battle between “Good v. Bad” characters is neither good nor bad. It’s just a story decision. And ultimately at the end of the day, the writers of Helluva Boss can choose to tell their story however they’d like.

But, depending on how this is executed, good v evil stories can be a lot less interesting than morally grey or complicated conflicts and characters.

I am more interested in the version of the story where Stella and Stolas are imperfect and messy people. I am more interested in the story where Stolas has an affair to escape being in an arranged marriage, and Stella overreacts by arranging a hit on her husband (unless calling out a hit is normal in hell, but we can’t know b/c there is no baseline for what is considered normal in hell)

I am so much more interested in the story where Stolas and Stella are both depicted as being in the wrong, as being incredibly hurt by each other’s actions, and as not knowing how to repair their broken relationship for the sake of their daughter.

That story feels very real to me. It’s one I want to engage and invest in.

I want to see if these characters can grow to accept their mistakes and learn and change for the sake of Octavia and having to co-exist with each other, or if they’ll slip back into mutual destruction and toxicity.

But that’s not the story we’ll get to see, because it seems like the writers are more interested in keeping Stolas from having to grow as a character. And because of that, Stella has been turned into an evil obstacle that must be defeated, instead of a nuanced and real person.

I also feel like I have to say. I know I would be MUCH less frustrated by this if I hadn’t seen an HB crew member talking about how their show is similar to Bojack Horseman.

Because. It’s just not. I’m sorry, I’m not saying that to be mean, or condescending, or rude, but the way characters are written in Helluva Boss is almost completely black and white at this point.

Regardless of the writer’s intent, the vast majority of the choices they have made in Season 2 come off as explanations to excuse the protagonist’s mistakes, and give them a “get out of being potentially in the wrong” free card.

Compared to the writing decisions in Bojack, which almost always has characters confront their wrongdoings, for better or worse, HB honestly feels like it’s the Anti-Bojack.

It would take a TON of character development and time to make HB’s characters as interesting, fleshed-out, and as real as Bojack’s are, and at this point that’s I don’t think it will ever happen.

Again. Having black and white conflict is FINE. It is a choice in story telling that can be done very effectively. But if you are making a black and white story where one side is always terrible and evil, and one side can do no wrong, you can’t act like you’ve written something that is deeper and more emotionally complex and grey than that.

And the first time the writers gave Stella more than 3 sentences to string together, they made it very clear that any chance of her being a more complex and engaging character was being tossed out the window.

————

TLDR:

The main reason people are upset about Stella being shown as abusive in S2E1 of HB is probably because the initial depictions of her didn’t give us enough information on her character to tell that she was just evil/a terrible person.

The way the story was written in S1 to set up the possibility of a very interesting and complex conflict between Stella and Stolas, and when it was revealed that she’s just. The worst. There were people that were disappointed by this, because they expected more.

Audiences actually aren’t idiots, and when you subtly foreshadow something and then completely change things, that can be frustrating.

It’s MORE than okay to write a straightforward good v evil story, but it depending on the way it’s written and executed, it may not be as interesting to mature audiences as a more morally grey story would be.

If you can’t write characters confronting their flaws and being in the wrong, please don’t compare your writing to Bojack, I mean. C’mon.

[blurredcolour]

What If We Just Fall?

Oh my goodness @supervalcsi this has been the hardest secret to keep! 'Tis I, your summer exchange gift writer! Thank you for all your hard work as the moderator of HBO War Daily, we deeply appreciate you!! It's been a pleasure getting to know you and I hope you enjoy your summer as well as this lovely interlude with sweet Rosie!!!

Robert "Rosie" Rosenthal x ATA!Female Reader

Flying with the Air Transport Auxiliary has taught you many lessons – including the importance of guarding your heart carefully. It seems fate, however, has much more to teach you when you are forced to make an emergency landing in East Anglia.

Warnings: Language, Era Typical Sexism, Fear, Crying, Kissing, Inevitable Historical and Military Inaccuracies, Rating - T.

Author's note: No descriptions of reader other than the fact that she is not British. This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Word Count: 5729

-------------------------

October 1944

Meeting a man like Robert “Rosie” Rosenthal was not something you had expected when you volunteered for the Air Transport Auxiliary. In fact, you were not even supposed to land at Thorpe Abbotts Airfield until fate, or more accurately faulty wiring, intervened. Ferrying a Wellington bomber from its repair depot back to the RAF in Norfolk for use in their nighttime bombing runs, you were piloting the five-man aircraft alone – standard practice in the ATA. There was no radio, no navigator, and most definitely no guns. You were a civilian non-combatant and if any Luftwaffe fighter pilots happened to get onto your tail, you simply had to outfly them.

This was not your first Wellington, not by a long stretch, and while you preferred Spitfires for their speed and manoeuverability, these mid-sized bombers were usually fairly docile once they got off the ground. This particular aircraft, however, had been displaying a bad attitude from the moment it took to the air. How it had passed quality control inspection was beyond you. The wonders the mechanics were able to work in short turn arounds were usually feats of precision and skill, but almost immediately you noticed the rudder seemed reluctant to obey your steering commands.

A cascade of instrumentation issues followed before the left engine quit. There was a reason, however, that the ‘Wimpy’ as it was affectionately called by the boys who took the aircraft into combat, was still relied upon by the RAF despite the arrival of four-engine heavies like the Halifax and Lancaster. The Wellington could take a great deal of punishment; lose great chunks of its aluminium and linen airframe, be down one engine, and still get the crew to its destination. It was this reputation you were banking on as you pressed forward to your assigned airfield, hoping the ground crew there would treat this plane better than whomever had done it such a disservice at the repair depot.

You were, by your best guess of the landscape and quick glance at your maps, roughly twenty minutes out when the right engine began to choke and sputter.

“Shit.” You hissed under your breath, pleased no one could overhear you, and dropped your altitude to scan for a safe place to land.

During your pre-flight preparations, you had noted this area was dotted with American airfields as well as RAF; surely you could find a stretch of tarmac to keep both you and this precious piece of war material in one piece. The telltale ‘V’ of concrete, surrounded by still-lush grass waving in the autumn breeze, could not have come into view at a better time. Exhaling in relief as the indicator lights confirmed the wheels had descended at your command, you checked visually that the left was down and had to trust the right and rear were also – with no co-pilot to look for you, there was most definitely no way you could release the yoke and glance out the window yourself.

Hoping the allies would recognize you for a friendly, you lined up to make your landing, the right engine quitting on you as you decreased your speed. Holding your eyes open wide with focus, you leaned forward in your seat, gripping the yoke almost painfully, willing the aircraft to stay aloft to meet the first few inches of runway. The silence in the cockpit was agonizing, a tense ringing in your ears replacing the normal, companionable thrum of the engines, sweat stinging at your eyes and prickling in your armpits. Seconds drew out into hours until at last your tires – all three of them – bumped down to land on the runway.

With a sigh of relief, you quickly pulled up on the flaps, frowning deeply as, with no engines to throw into reverse, the large object in motion seemed reluctant to come to a stop. Mortifyingly, you overshot the end of the runway, skidding to a halt some one hundred meters in the grass like a wet-behind-the-ears trainee, and yet…and yet both you and the plane that you had been charged with delivering were still in one piece. Not at all where you were intended to be, but landed safely, for now.

The sound of several vehicles approaching from down the runway refocused your attention and you pulled off your leather flying helmet, smoothing your hair before gathering your things into your flight bag. Climbing from the dead aircraft, you were greeted by a host of astonished male faces.

“Jesus Christ, she’s a dame!” One of the younger men exclaimed, not so quietly, from the back of the crowd and you did your best to keep a straight face.

“I’m so sorry to intrude on your airfield, gentlemen, ran into a little trouble during my flight. I appreciated the safe place to land.”

Several eyebrows shot up at your distinct lack of British accent, at least one astute gaze dropping to the gold wire weave badge bearing the name of your home country just below your shoulders.

“Well, we’re just glad you’re alright, ma’am. We got very nervous when we couldn’t raise you on the radio.” The owner of said astute, piercing blue gaze spoke, a hint of…New York, was it?...colouring his tone.

“Ah, of course, we aren’t connected to radio in the Air Transport Auxiliary, sorry for the confusion that must have caused.” Stepping forward you offered your hand as you introduced yourself. “Second Officer, ATA.”

“Robert Rosental, Major, United States Army Air Force. What happened up there?”

It took a moment to register that he had asked you a question, the feel of his palm pressing against yours as he shook your hand in greeting more than a little distracting. Inhaling sharply, you turned back to look at the troublesome aircraft.

“Rudder was slow to respond, then I started losing my instruments one-by-one before the left engine cut out. I was hoping to make it on the right, but when it started to go, I knew I had no choice to put it down as soon as possible.”

“You flew that all by yourself?” Another member of the crowd piped up and you nodded patiently.

“Standard practice in the ATA, just me.”

“Maybe that was the real problem.” It was hard to tell where exactly the snide comment, spoken under some ignorant boy’s breath, had originated from.

You noted a flash of anger in Major Rosenthal’s eyes before he started to scan the crowd for the source of it, but this sort of response was something you had certainly encountered before.

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that, could whoever said that please repeat it? I’d really appreciate the opportunity to improve on the over seven hundred ferry flights I’ve made since 1941, including one hundred with this very type of plane, so please, speak up.” A sort of stunned silence overtook the group, several of the men wearing bemused smiles, others a look of shock, while the rest shuffled their feet awkwardly in the grass. “Hn. My loss, I suppose.”

“I’m assuming you’re a long ways from where you ought to be?” Major Rosenthal chimed in, the luscious thatch of hair of his upper lip highlighting the way his mouth hitched up at the corner in amusement.

“You would be correct, Major, might I impose upon you for the use of a telephone?”

Some directions were shouted to tow your aircraft to a spare hardstand as it seemed there were replacements planes of their own expected in a few hours and you turned to address the same man Rosenthal was giving orders to – Lemmons, you believed.

“Please be careful, its not a metal skin, it’s linen.”

The look of shock on the boy’s cherubic face framed by copious curls spilling from beneath his knit cap finally broke your control, a small grin sneaking onto your lips as Major Rosenthal led you over to his jeep. Unclipping your parachute from your waist, you tossed it and your flight bag into the back, sliding into your passenger’s seat and finally feeling the ability to relax somewhat.

“Over seven hundred flights?” He glanced at you as he drove, and you nodded softly.

“There are a lot of planes needing to be moved around this island.”

“And here I thought my boys had it rough needing to hit thirty…” He shook his head, driving past the control toward a sea of the all-too-familiar Nissen huts that populated every airfield you had ever visited.

“Ferry flights and combat missions are in no way comparable, Major, the worst thing I face up there is usually English weather.”

The pair of you shared a laugh as he pulled up in front of a long row of buildings. “My CO will want to talk with you, unexpected guest and all.”

“Of course, caused quite the ruckus didn’t I.” You laughed ruefully, sliding from the jeep to collect your gear, startled as he beat you to it.

“Follow me.” He nodded warmly, holding open the door to lead you inside.

After a brief meeting with a very busy Colonel Jeffrey where he put ‘Rosie’ at your disposal, you were ushered into an empty office to use the telephone and contact your superiors. Providing a detailed report of your flight, you were instructed to sit tight pending further directions – most likely an RAF repair crew would be dispatched to try and get the plane operational, but they were also loathe to keep you grounded and out of the rotation for too long. Providing them with Jeffrey’s secretary’s number as the point of contact, you stepped out of the office to find Major Rosenthal waiting patiently in the hallway.

“You must be starving…”

“I would not say no to some food, by any means.” You smirked and followed him back out to the jeep for the short drive to the officer’s mess. “You sure its alright for me to eat in here? RAF doesn’t usually…”

“I insist.” He nodded and opened the door for you once more.

With a grateful nod, you stepped into the space flooded with natural light where row on row of tables covered in crisp white linens stood empty. Given that it was an odd hour for a meal, somewhere between breakfast and lunch, it was no surprise that you were practically alone in there. A server in a white coat quickly approached and Major Rosenthal looked to you to place your order from the choices on offer before requesting just a coffee for himself, pulling out a chair for you to sit before setting your kit in the empty chair beside you.

“This is really quite civilized, thank you again. I apologize that I’m not really dressed for the occasion…”

He chuckled warmly and shook his head. “You look prettier than me after I fly, though I’m quite confident you start out that way, too.” He winked and you smiled shyly, busying yourself with laying your napkin across your lap.

Major Rosenthal was not the first handsome airman to cross your path in your line of work, there had been countless men who had either jeered or flattered you. But after opening your heart to several early on and promptly losing them to a ruthless enemy, you had learned better than to let yourself fall for such girlish stupidity again.

“Having a second breakfast Rosie? Oh…oh I’m sorry I didn’t see you were entertaining…”

“No apologies Croz, one of the lovely ladies of the Air Transport Auxiliary dropped in for a visit.” He grinned and introduced you properly to his friend and Group Navigator Harry Crosby who was apparently only finishing his breakfast now.

“A pleasure, well I’ll leave you two to it. Make sure Rosie tells you about his love of jazz.” His knowing grin at his friend drew an exasperated exhale from Rosenthal, but before he could protest, the server was returning with food and hot beverages that were fit to make your mouth water and Crosby had disappeared.

“I don’t think I realized quite how hungry I was…” You murmured, fixing your drink to your liking before seizing your utensils to dive in.

“Well then, please, enjoy.” He leaned back, cradling his cup in his hands to allow you to enjoy your meal.

After a few bites, once you were feeling somewhat less ravenous, you tilted your head. “Artie Shaw or Benny Goodman?”

He raised an eyebrow slowly before huffing an incredulous laugh. “Artie Shaw, if I must.”

You nodded thoughtfully as you took a deep sip of your beverage.

“What other planes have you flown in your seven hundred ferry flights?” He parried with a question of his own.

“Oh, all sorts - Tiger Moths, Hurricanes, Mosquitos, Spitfires.”

He nodded thoughtfully, smoothing the edge of his moustache with his forefinger. “Favorite plane to fly?” He inquired.

“To fly? Spitfire, without a doubt.” You answered easily, licking a bit of food from your upper lip. “That plane knows what I want it to do before I even think it. Landing however…one the test pilots famously said, ‘she’s a lady in the air but a bi–’” you quickly cut yourself off with a rueful twist of your lips “she’s something else ‘on the ground.’” You finished the quote with more appropriate language inserted.

Rosenthal’s eyes danced with mirth as he enjoyed a hearty laugh at that and you could not help but notice the reddish hue to the whiskers on his upper lip, highlighted by the sunlight streaming in the windows. You wondered if that was where he had gotten the nickname ‘Rosie.’ Jarring yourself from such dangerous thoughts, you quickly turned back to your meal and peppered him with more questions about American jazz greats, enjoying the way he enthusiastically and engagingly spoke about the various band leaders he preferred and why before turning back to you with further questions about your service in the ATA and life before that. Conversation came dangerously easy between the two of you, an undeniable overlap of interests and motivation to contribute.

You were admittedly attracted to the man as well, but for the sake of your sanity, that was something you were going to have to set aside for as long as he continued his brave yet perilous missions over enemy territory. The mess gradually began to fill as true lunch time arrived, your meal and his coffee long finished, and you were about to get up and find somewhere else to wait out the repair crew when one of the servers approached with a message that they had already arrived and were looking for you.

A short drive to the hardstand revealed the four RAF men hard at work on the Wellington under the curious eye of Lemmons and others who were occasionally drifting by.

“When I get my hands on whatever git did this to this poor Wimpy…” You could hear the threats and grumblings emanating from inside the fuselage and pressed your lips together, hoping it was the previous repairperson they had it out for and not you.

“Gentlemen?” You popped your head into the bomber and were greeted by several flustered men.

“Ah there you are Ma’am, how on earth did you keep this lobotomized plane in the air for so long?!”

“Well you know, a good old Wimpy can always get you home…or at least a friendly field.”

“We’ve got…a good few hours ahead of us but then I think you’ll be able to finish the last leg of the journey.”

“Thank you very much, I’m sorry to take you away from your more pressing work. Can I get you anything?”

“Crew Chief Lemmons has been very helpful, Ma’am, but thank you.”

You offered the young man a smile of thanks over your shoulder before shuffling over to set your belongings on the grass. The afternoon was fair, the weather still warm, so you figured it was as good a place as any to wait it out. To your surprise and pleasure, Rosenthal settled onto the ground beside you, picking up your conversation right where you left off as you listened to the men work through the thin skin of the aircraft, watching the sun make its way to the western sky to sink toward the horizon.

“You know, Major, you really ought to come visit London some time. We may not have Artie Shaw or Benny Goodman live in concert but there’s still a great deal of jazz to be enjoyed.”

“Please, you can call me Rosie if you’d like.” He smiled softly and you nodded in response, not wanting to have been so bold without his permission. “You stationed that close that you can just pop into the jazz clubs?”

You nodded quickly. “White Waltham, near Windsor Castle. Very short train ride. Used to fly with the Spitfire girls out of Southampton but I wanted a chance to fly the twin engines…maybe even someday I’ll get inside a Halifax or a Lanc…but that was definitely not going to happen in a ferry pool right next to the Spitfire factory flying only short-range flights.”

“These four engine beasts are definitely a whole other ball game,” He gestured with a thumb over his shoulder towards a B-17 looming behind him, dwarfing the Wellington with is height and breadth “would you still be alone?”

“ATA sends a flight engineer on four engine flights, but no co-pilot.”

He nodded thoughtfully, looking about to add something when the RAF repair crew suddenly emerged, grinning in satisfaction.

“Should be all set Ma’am, care to give it a whirl?”

Nodding quickly, you looked to your companion softly. “Thank you very much for an unexpectedly pleasant standby, Rosie.”

“My pleasure.” He responded with a grin, sliding to his feet and holding out his hand to pull you to yours.

Clipping your parachute in place on the back of your thighs, you slid on your helmet before climbing into the aircraft to try starting the engines. Running through an extended pre-flight check with one of the maintenance crew, they cleared you for take off, Rosie waving to you before driving off in the direction of the control tower. Beginning to taxi out, you could not help the grin as he returned to guide you down the runway, pulling off into the grass and waving once again from where he stood in the driver’s seat of his jeep.

Opening the cockpit window you shouted down to him, “See you in London, Rosie!” before taking off to the sound of his laughter.

To your delight, Rosie heeded your suggestion and made the trip to London – several times in fact, over the course of the winter, otherwise keeping in touch with you via letter. Despite the logical, cautious part of your brain demanding that you keep your feelings for him at bay, feelings that constantly threatened to swell and overwhelm you with each passing meeting and letter, you still found yourself constantly fretting for his safety. Awaiting his next contact, the next proof of life, with bated breath and firmly denied distraction whenever a friend or colleague would tease you about it.

How utterly rude it was of fate to throw such a perfect specimen in your path. Particularly one that could so very easily be taken away with the same rapidity. For not only was he breathtakingly handsome, but his understated confidence and capability in all things so far encountered simply made you yearn to discover his more hidden talents. To have survived so long in an occupation where the life expectancy was six-weeks, just forty-two days, and then sign up for a second tour after meeting his mission quota – yes, he’d had luck on his side thus far, but you had seen luck abandon far too many in the last few years.

The driving pace of your own worked helped distract you, undertaking training in the four engine Halifax bomber in December before the calendar turned to January 1945, and then onto February. Your commanding officer soon indicated you had nearly accumulated enough hours to begin flying Lancasters – much to your delight and eager anticipation. The pace of the production and demand on the frontlines required more ferry pilots for the British answer to the B-17 and you were more than ready to meet the challenge head on.

Not far into the month, however, you found yourself stranded near Diss on a weather delay, unable to fly back to White Waltham. With no trains until the next morning, you decided to hitch a ride to Thorpe Abbotts to take Rosie up on his standing offer to ‘drop by anytime.’ What greeted you, however, was a very concerned looking Crosby and no Rosie in sight. Sitting you down in the same spare office you had used to call in your emergency landing last October, the obviously under-slept man seemed to be having some difficulty getting down to the point.

“Major Crosby, I can assure you I am no stranger to the variety of outcomes of aerial combat, would you mind telling me as much as you are able before you asphyxiate from lack of oxygen?” You coaxed firmly, quite certain he had not taken a breath in over a minute as he paced anxiously in front of you.

His head jerked up at the sound of your voice and he nodded once before sinking heavily into the chair opposite you before taking a deep breath, to your minor relief, and beginning to speak.

“Rosie went up on a mission on the 3rd and we’ve had no news of him since he dropped out of formation.”

Your spine went completely rigid, snapping you almost painfully upright in your chair as you nodded in a cool, detached manner at the news. This. This was precisely the reason why you had been guarding your heart and fighting your feelings and putting every moment of wonderment and each smile of adoration you felt for the man in a small internal box for safe keeping. Because this very situation had seemed so very inevitable.

So why did it still hurt so damn much.

“No news is, is usually good news in these cases but it takes a while for us to hear…. well anything.”

You gulped once, twice in rapid succession as you nodded again before clearing your throat forcefully. “Well, Major, I have to go but,” grabbing a piece of paper from the desk, you scrawled the contact number for Ferry Pool No. 1, rapidly blinking as your eyes threatened to cloud over with tears “will you call if you hear anything? That you can share of course.”

“Of course I will, did you need a ride somewhere?”

You shook your head almost violently, looking forward to the walk to the pub in Diss, a good roadside cry would fix everything surely, before you had to show your face in public. Practically dashing out of there and off the base, you barely made it out of earshot of the gatehouse before your tears bubbled over. Fine lot of good all your cautious and careful planning had done you – you had been half a person in Rosie’s presence only to have the very emotions you willfully denied snap back at you tenfold now that he might very well be…and you never once got to see how his eyes might light up if you had told him how you really felt. Feel.

All the logic in the world could not save you now as you blindly sobbed your way towards town, stubbornly wiping at your nose with your handkerchief. If you had really lost him, a very real possibility that twisted your gut painfully and drew an extremely dramatic series of hitching sobs from your breast, he had deserved better. He had deserved to know that he was cherished and admired rather than just a friend to you, and on that front, you had failed so miserably you just might never forgive yourself.

The weeks of watchful waiting were long and painful. No news came, no messages awaited you at Pool Headquarters, no gossip on the bases you visited. Until the morning of the 26th when, to your great relief, and amusement, you learned that the man was alive and well, enjoying a hero’s stay in Moscow, of all places. The newspaper article quoting the absurd volume of vodka he had endured consuming brought a long-absent smile to your face and lightness to your chest, the news beating Major Crosby’s phone call by, at most, thirty minutes. All as you were on your way with your flight engineer to your first routine Lancaster ferry flight.

Climbing into the cockpit, you took the brief moment of solitude to close your eyes, inhaling deeply as you whispered words of gratitude to whatever higher entities had clearly been watching over him. Perhaps luck was never going to run out for Robert Rosenthal. Clearly you were a fool for thinking that was the eventuality here.

“Ma’am?” The timid voice of your flight engineer, Naylor – though everyone called him Tiny Tim for the young man hardly ever spoke above a whisper, pierced through your thoughts and you jolted back to reality quickly, offering him a reassuring smile.

“Let’s pop over to Wales and deliver this bird, shall we?” You did your best to display nothing but confidence in the task before you.

He smiled back with a nod, just as eager as you to get this great beast of a plane into the air. To say that heavies became the primary planes on your delivery roster would have been an overstatement, but they were most definitely a constant. As was the ever-present thought that someday soon you would find yourself face-to-face with Rosie once again and just how to handle that day of reckoning was certainly something you found impossible to decide upon.

Should you confess and apologize on sight? Wait for a few weeks for him to settle back into life on base before unloading your feelings onto him? Or continue on as you had before? The way your stomach plummeted like a wounded bird at the last option was a clear illustration of how impossible it would be to pretend you simply regarded him as a friend. But there was a growing fear as well. For all of your focus on concealing and compartmentalizing your own feelings, you had not once allowed yourself to consider how he might feel for you. Aside from some flattering comments that may have been construed as flirtatious, he had never displayed anything but the highest calibre of warmth and social graces towards you. But you found yourself constantly pondering just how Rosie might react to a confession of what had flickered into an irrepressible blaze in your chest.

In the end, you spent more time sitting with those concerns than those for his very well being, the unseasonable warmth of February continuing on into March, with more sunny days than you had grown accustomed to after living in England for so long. April was only a few days away on the calendar when your next ferry run took to you St. Mawgan to deliver a Lancaster to the RAF Overseas Aircraft Despatch Unit. Where exactly the aircraft’s journey would end was a point of mystery and you were admittedly envious of the pilot who would sit in the lefthand seat next and take it beyond the relative safety of England’s shores – territory that was strictly off limits to you as both a civilian and especially as a woman.

Parting with your flight Engineer Martens in the all-female WAAF mess, the girl avidly ensconced in a conversation comparing beaus with the girls stationed in Cornwall, you headed back out to pick up a damaged Spitfire that had just arrived from France, desperately in need of a visit to the repair depot. In the process of inspecting the aircraft, to ensure you knew precisely what damage you would be needing to overcome, a remarkably familiar voice broke through your concentration.

“She certainly still looks like a lady on the ground…rather mistreated, but definitely a lady nonetheless.”

Straightening and turning far too quickly, you cracked your head on the underside of the fuselage, earning a look of sympathy as his hands cupped your shoulders to pull you closer, out of danger of inflicting further harm to yourself.

“Rosie…” You whispered, staring at him, unable to stop your fingers from reaching out to brush his cheek, to confirm he was real.

The muscles of his face crinkled beneath your touch as he broke out into a smile, an expression you immediately echoed despite the unbidden prick of tears in the corners of your eyes.

“Hi there.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed sharply, face growing slightly solemn as he lay his hand atop yours, pressing your palm fully against his warm skin. “I’ve been a complete fool, and I’m not sure if you can forgive me.” You tilted your head, brows furrowing in bewilderment. “The world out there is dead set on tearing itself apart and I…” His tongue darted out to wet his lips nervously, an emotion you were quite confident you had never seen overcome him before. “The entire time I was struggling to get back here just to tell you. To tell you how much I care for you. You are much more than just a friend to me, and I was an idiot to think I was okay with putting this off until the war was over.”

Eyes widening as the man seemed to be stealing the very thoughts from your head and putting them into words before you even had the chance, you sniffled playful and wiped at a stray tear that had managed to sneak down your cheek. “Don’t you go taking all the credit now, Robert.” You chided warmly, earning a stunned look from him in return. “It has taken two complete fools to deny what we’ve become, wouldn’t you say?”

Huffing a soft laugh, Rosie conceded your point with a nod as he grasped the unbuckled ends of your leather flying helmet, tugging your face closer. “I love you, you incredible woman.”

Taking a notably shaky inhale, you nodded quickly, a few more tears spilling over. “I love you, too, Rosie.” You struggled to speak around the knot of emotions in your throat, fully intending to reciprocate with some sweet term of endearment, not quite certain you could manage.

Mercifully, his lips had the grace to press against yours and save you from trying to say anything more. Grasping the fleece collar of his bomber jacket, you pressed closer in the shadow of the plane you ought to be inspecting, but the Spitfire was doing a fine job of shielding you from prying eyes and five more minutes in the arms of the man you loved – yes, it was love – and had been separated from could easily be made up courtesy of the stiff tail wind you expected on your flight to Southampton.

The rasp of his facial hair made you shiver at the slightly ticklish sensation as he maintained a firm grip on your straps, delivering kiss after kiss as if to make up for lost time. An uncontrollable grin stretched across your lips, making it nearly impossible for him to continue and so he shifted to focus on erasing any trace of tears from your cheeks, only encouraging your grin to curl wider until you were simultaneously giggling and trembling at the feel of his moustache against your jaw.

“Someday, we’ll have a lot more time, and I’m going to spend every second of it kissing you…” His eyes were filled with a fiery intensity that made it awfully difficult to draw breath and you shifted forward to press your lips to his flushed cheek in turn.

“I’m going to hold you to that, Robert Rosenthal.” You nodded firmly as you pulled back, arching sharply as his hands slid to rest against your shoulder blades, his mouth landing on yours fiercely.

“First Officer, are you quite ready?!” The shrill bark of an encroaching member of St. Mawgan’s ground crew wrenched the pair of you apart as effectively as a physical intervention, a shared look of reluctance passing between you as you quickly straightened your clothing.

You noticed his eyes flick to your shoulders to admire your new rank badges.

“You’ve been busy.” He murmured and you smiled with quiet pride.

“Fly Lancasters now, too.” You nodded and pointed over his shoulder to the plane you had flown in that morning before turning to address your intruder as he called your name once more. “Nearly ready, thank you so much for your patience!” You poured on the sweetness in your tone, noting the way Rosie’s eyes narrowed slightly as they returned to your face.

Biting back a giggle you blew him a kiss before emerging around the nose to greet the harried RAF man. “Major Rosenthal of the USAAF has never seen a Spitfire before, he asked me to show him around.”

“Thank you again for your indulgence, Ma’am, they are definitely fine planes. But I will let you get on with it.” Rosie played his part admirably, the set of the intruder’s shoulders easing somewhat.

“Yes, yes, well we need you out of here in five.” He turned to look at the clipboard in his hand and your gaze met Rosie’s once more.

“It was my pleasure, Major. I’d best be off.”

“Of course.” He nodded firmly, eyes remaining locked on yours as he mouthed ‘love you’ making your heart lurch erratically for a few beats as you mouthed it back. “Safe flight.” You spoke aloud.

“You as well.”

Noting the RAF man was once again paying attention to his surroundings, you turned to finish your quick once over of the plane before stepping up onto the wing and slotting into the narrow cockpit before pulling the side flap closed and starting the engine. Once the coast was clear, you blew one last kiss to Rosie, laughing brightly as he made quite a show of catching it and tucking it into his pocket.

“Until next time!” He shouted and you nodded brightly, pulling the canopy closed.

Because there most definitely would be a next time for you and your man of endless luck, and that was something that you no longer wished to deny.

-------------------------

Masters of the Air Masterlist

Postscript - thank you ever so much to @precious-little-scoundrel for proofreading this for me!!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

WKA's 2024 Tumblr Top 10

I was tagged in this game by @lurkingshan did it on my phone and therefore did not spend a lot of time making it look nice. But since I was just tagged in this again by @telomeke I figured I'd take advantage of the edit feature to zhuzh it up a little bit. So!

1. PhayaTharn's Informative Morning- 441 notes - Jan 3 2024

gif by @firstmix

I am so lucky that I love writing essays and that I do not do it for the notes or the clout, because this post took me like two seconds to create and was my most popular of the year.

2. Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign essay- 409 notes - Jan 5 2024

gif by @thisautistic

I am so sad about the trajectory of my enjoyment of The Sign because I was having fun writing essays about it at the beginning. But by the end I was strongly contemplating writing a fix-it fic, though I quickly decided I did not have the brain space to write that whole thing out. ANYWAY...I really enjoyed writing this essay because lighting is my favorite part of theater performances and something I really love seeing and talking about in all visual mediums, but I have far fewer opportunities to do so in television because a lot of the time the lighting is more dedicated to looking realistic. The Sign gave me the opportunity to talk about lighting choices for the first time in forever.

3. Symptoms of a Systems Error essay- 399 notes - Feb 2 2024

gif by @dramascene

ALL THESE END OF YEAR POSTS ARE REMINDING ME THAT @lurkingshan AND I OWE THIS SHOW THE RE-WATCH WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO DO. I was definitely a little skeptical going in to this show about the premise of this man being in a video game, but it had one of the smartest uses of that setting I've seen and I really enjoyed all the subtle ways that they used the world around them to deepen the story at hand and I'm really glad so many people seemed to enjoy this essay as well!

4. Episode 10: The Couch essay- 353 notes - Apr 21 2024

Here is a great example of @lurkingshan demonstrating that I can and will take essay requests for shows I am watching. I cannot begin to explain in words the chokehold this show had on me, so hopefully ya'll will just see the fact that I wrote ten essays about only six episodes of this show as evidence of how much back rent this show owes me for living in my head. I LOVE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND CHRIS CHU DID SUCH A PHENOMENAL GODDAMN JOB WITH HIS PORTRAYAL OF WEI QIAN AND I NEED TO SCREAM THAT FROM THE HEAVENS AT EVERY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY~

5. Parallels in Unknown Episode 9 essay- 329 notes - Apr 14 2024

gif by @ueasking

It appears like Unknown fever was taking hold of a hell of a lot of us on this website considering that literally half of my most popular posts of 2024 were from this show. I think a really important aspect of this show and why I enjoyed it so much was that it was really taking its time demonstrating how much history Wei Qian has to overcome in order to take on that mental shift of viewing Wei Zi Yuan as a romantic partner instead of as his brother. Which is why I was so sad that they fucked up the sex scene in Ep 11 and did not spend as much time as they really should have cementing Qian's shifted feelings after the confrontation at the stairs at the end of Episode 10. EITHER WAY I do think the use of parallels was a really smart way of showing that recontextualization.

6. Fantasy v. Reality: The Sign Episode 7 essay- 328 notes - Jan 8 2024

I am such a huge proponent of talking about sex scenes in television not only because they are enjoyable to watch but because they are choreographed scenes that take a lot of planning and a lot of work and I think it is important to be able to see and approach conversations around intimacy on screen in such a way. Getting a chance to write about how the sex scene in episode 7 merged Phaya and Tharn's fantasies and also their lighting cues was really fun! I hope that 2025 grants me enough energy to get back on the essay writing wagon in full force because I miss doing it but also have felt incredibly uninspired by a lot of what I've seen in the BL sector the last couple months.

7. LOSING MY MIND OVER UNKNOWN EPISODE 8 essay- 284 notes - Apr 10 2024

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

So sorry to you, Wei Qian, but unfortunately you sent your brother to America in hopes he would lose interest in you and instead he came back a menace!

8. Top Five "Oh" Moments ask- 282 notes - Jan 15 2024

let this be a lesson folks that it is a-okay to ask questions if you have them. I love getting asks and I know a lot of my mutuals do as well! I really loved getting this question and being allowed to talk about my top five!

9. Unknown Episode 7 Brain Rot Moments essay- 281 notes - Apr 1 2024

Going back through these posts is fun for me because I really like seeing the different ways I have engaged in media analysis and commentary. This time it was literally just a bullet-pointed list of things that I knew were making me chew glass about this show and I still loved writing it!

10. Unknown, Ep 10: Qian and Yuan- 166 notes - Apr 26 2024

Yippe! A good old fashioned Captain Hands Scene Breakdown what a time I had!

Created by TumblrTop10

I will tag @aeternallis and @kangarew-tail-7 in this, obviously you are under no obligation to participate if you do not wish to!

[katzenklavierr]

Short Review of Sonic Movie 3

Sonic Movie 3 met my expectations pretty exactly: it's a fun action movie for kids that takes inspiration from the video games while making adjustments to meet its own internal lore, just like the first two. So I can't really say I was disappointed by it, but it didn't really blow me away either. I think I liked the second one a little bit better.

If you're a Sonic fan who liked the other two, you will probably enjoy it. If you're a Sonic fan who disliked the other two because they're not faithful adaptations, you will feel the same about this one.

Rest is under the cut for those who wish to go in blind.

Let's get the negatives out of the way first.

I only really have one major complaint and it's that there is way too much Eggman in this movie, to the point where it feels like he has more screentime than Sonic does, let alone all four of the animal characters. I don't even mind stripping Gerald of his moral nuance and making him the big bad (although never mentioning Maria's illness makes his motivations really unclear), but like. Jim Carry's Eggman (now twofold) is better in small doses. At least he died at the end I guess (but if they do another death fakeout for him I'm going to be so annoyed). I feel like the themes they were exploring with him might've been better suited for Shadow so that he'd be a stronger foil to Sonic, which they did a little bit but again. Way more focus was given to Eggman.

The pacing is also really bad. Like, worse than the other two movies. Most scenes don't have any time to breathe before we're jumping to the next thing. Only a few emotional beats are allowed to actually linger long enough to sink in. I get that this is Sonic and we gotta go fast and all, but it feels like this movie being about 20 minutes longer or cutting out some of the Eggman shenanigans to make room for other characters would've benefited it.

They really struggled to find a reason for Sonic's human family to be involved or give them stuff to do. They're important for Sonic's arc, and Tom getting hurt by Shadow is meant to parallel Maria, but they just kind of failed to be relevant in any other way. I didn't really feel it this was as big of a problem in the first two movies. Maybe this film is just suffering from not knowing how to adequately juggle an ensemble cast.

I was a bit worried that they were going to take the story beats from Sonic Adventure 2 and turn it into pro-military propaganda, which thankfully didn't happen. They didn't really address any of the military criticism directly, and Maria's death was explicitly accidental rather than an act of callousness, though I think it was a smart move to have them shut down Gerald's research and imprison him only to build the WMD themselves using his plans and show that they were only interested in keeping it in their own hands. Other than being an inconvenience to Sonic and friends, though, they don't really act as a significant antagonist but rather just a third party in the matter. Again, better than turning them into a force for good, though.

Now for the stuff I did like.

Keanu Reeves killed it as Shadow. He's done other VA work in the past, which I think helps, but he has the exact right timbre for him and just enough emotion to sell the role.

Shadow's relationship with Maria is shown really effectively, and I like that Maria gets to have more of a personality than she really does in the games (though I have not yet played Shadow Generations so I can't speak to her portrayal there). I wish they had explored the tension between Shadow feeling like a monster a bit more, though, as well as my aforementioned gripe that they removed Maria being terminally ill from the story (which I feel is important to her character and her relationship with Shadow).

The fight scenes and action sequences more generally were really cool. I loved both Sonic v. Shadow fights, especially the first one with Shadow on his motorcycle and Sonic on foot zooming through traffic.

Special effects and CGI were also well done and felt very grounded. All of the characters look so soft and I want to pet them so bad. I love the glitter effect when Sonic and Shadow go super, too.

While the scene itself felt a little forced, I did enjoy the chao garden restaurant. I want to eat a chao bao.

I completely called BOTH characters in the post-credits reveal. My thought process was that if they didn't put Amy in the 4th movie (which you know they are going to be making) it would be a crime against me personally and generally a bad move to put in another male character before her, and if they're bringing in Amy it makes sense to bring in Metal as the new threat, especially since they concluded Shadow's SA2 arc in this movie and (supposedly) killed off the Eggmen. I look forward to hearing more about it.

I think I'm still kind of in awe that I live in a world where my favourite blue hedgehog not only gets a big screen appearance, but a whole film series -- one that doesn't suck and is actually successful, even! I feel like the cultural attitude towards Sonic has shifted much more favourably and the films are getting more people interested in the franchise as a whole. In the threatre I was at, there were other adult fans there seeing it with their kids, it was very cool. So even if I have my gripes with them as a life-long fan, I feel they are definitely a net positive and I am glad they exist.

[yannaryartside]

ANALYSIS OF THE PORTRAYAL OF DEPRESSION THROUGH MICHAEL BEARZATTO

Why does this character mean so much to me as someone who was once suicidal

tw underneath: talks about self-arming/self-deprecating thoughts and substance abuse, particularly the last section that also will repeat the tw.

Disclaimer: This is about how I think Michael is one of the most helpful portrayals of depression I have seen and how I think it would have helped me, even though he died. The show is about healing from losing someone in this tragic way, but for me and my friends, the part that explores this character also means a lot.

A little about the importance of depiction of suicide and depression in media. You can skip this if it came from the character analysis; this is just to illustrate the characters that helped when I was going through it. See you at part 1.

When I was in my late teens, I entered a dark period in my life, with insomnia, depression, and memory lapses. It was primarily due to the emotional dread and trauma I got from having a narcissistic parent, being an autistic girl (not diagnosed back then), and the impending quarter-life crisis. I had no support group or emotional intelligence to deal with it all; I only got into therapy years before it all passed. That was until I met the girls that are, to this day, my two best friends, probably the only family I have ever known: V and E. V was going through a hardcore case of harassment in her school, and E had been neglected by her mother her whole life, only to definitely being abandoned by her recently at the time. We didn't know it by the time we met, but we would all hit the suicidal stages in our struggles with depression, even after we became friends.

We met in a Christian youth group we didn't want to be in. But in this space, we formed a friendship that will become our refuge from the world, our support, and the place to share our common interest in becoming writers. In the end, more than in the church we were attending, we found the courage to fight our demons in the pieces of fiction we were consuming. Because we could relate to those characters and their struggles. They seemed real to us. When I introduced them to the Bear last year, we discussed the things that the show got right when talking about Mickey.

Part 1: The portrayal of his loneliness

The inciting incident of the show is Michaeel's death. Still, there is a lot of discussion on how he was isolating himself long before that, and you could say the story of Carmy that we know today officially begins the day Michael cast him out of the restaurant. Which makes you think about why he did that.

Things that Michael was afraid of, that made him isolate himself:

For Carmy to see him act recklessly: now, we know Carmy saw Michael's explosive behavior before ("Fishes" and multiple family/staff anecdotes), but maybe he was starting to be afraid of not controlling his reactions or being aware of them. Was he having memory lapses? Was he afraid of losing his temper and hurting Carmy? The drugs could have dragged him to the point of not even recognizing himself.

Was Michael afraid of not being able to carry on the dream they had as kids? Was he buying on the idea that he was a failure and would never amount to anything good?

In addition to the previous reasons, I think Carmy's admiration was what he was the most afraid to lose. Most people have speculated that Carmy and Michael have an age difference of 10-12 years, and their father abandoned them, so Michael was the closest thing Carmy ever had to a father. This is one of the reasons Carmy idolized Miachel so much. Michael cannot even give Carmy a concrete answer in 'Fishes' about the restaurant's future and has emotional breakdowns afterward at the thought of disappointing him. It is even implied (by Richies look when Michael wraps himself in the blanket), that after that conversation, Michael may have consumed drugs. His behavior also becomes more erratic after this moment, losing track of stories he has told before and erupting in violence at the dinner table.

Part 2: The portrayal of hiding

Disclaimer: I can only speak of this thinking of my own family and the families of my friends who were depressed/suicidal like me.

Michael was already doing everything he could to hide his addiction, but I think Carmy was afraid of seeing the signs. Understandably so. People already mentioned that Michael was using, but Carmy never believed them. He was not thinking of Michael as his brother but as his parent. Because Michael was the only "parent" he could emotionally rely on. We can all have clouded vision by fear. Particularly if we are struggling and deeply emotionally wounded. There is no mention of someone else doing anything about it. Even his best friend, Richie, never confronted Michael about his addiction. Michael was the pillar of emotional security to everyone around him. They may even be afraid that confronting him will make things worse. God, after seeing "Fishes," I kinda understood why Michael didn't bring up anything to that environment; not only was everyone fucked up in their own way, but as Carmy said it "When you don't know what are you feeling, asking somebody else how they are feeling seems insane." I wonder how much Michael cared about his own feelings. That is something messed up to say, but is also true.

Part 3: The portrayal of Michael's responsibility.

Thoughts on the "what could have you done" scene. tw of suicidal thoughts particularly apply here.

I love that , when Richie said

"I wish I had done more," Carmy instantly replies 'What could you have done?"

It is essential to talk about suicide prevention while also understanding that nobody has control over your life or your life except yourself. A whole team of supporting, emotionally intelligent people may not have been enough to save Michael. The family is the environment when other genetic factors built it up, but nobody else pulled the trigger.

It is not like people cared more about their happiness than Michael's life; that is never the case. They all wanted to see, but no one is responsible for Mickey's death except himself. The thoughts of "what could I have done" to help him will just prolong a guilt that has no solution. When I was suicidal, I wouldn't have blamed anybody. There were people involved in my unhappiness, even aggressors, but I was the one who would have given up. Even Carmy tried to blame people for Michael’s death, Nat even blamed the restaurant.

I knew it was my responsibility to seek help or not. Finding ways to help my friends was difficult even if I knew them well and their situations. It is difficult to talk about, even if you want help. When my mom found out, years after the worst of it had passed, she would swear that she didn't see signs, but that is such a complicated topic. In the end, my friends and I just kept going. We all want to be the heroes of our own stories, but depending on the stories we tell ourselves, we may end our own chance to fight for ourselves.

Saying "they were afraid to see," is not the same as assigning blame, and I am sure the show will come to a point of having this conversation. It is probable that people tried to help Mickey or that he sought help himself at some point; it is very difficult to actually comprehend suicidal thoughts, more so if the person struggling with them is someone you love. Most of the people surrounding Mickey never would have imagined that he would die the way he did. Probably because that is the way Michael wanted it, even if he also wanted help, even if he dreamed about someone noticing. Because I dreamed of people noticing.

Part 4: The importance of a mirror

In the end, maybe he was more afraid of being found (ashamed, lost) than how much he wanted to be found (saved). He may have thought that all of his desperation/demons were more powerful than him. I once thought similarly, so I can relate to it. Adding the element of addiction makes it all more difficult. The show is about people dealing with the lost of Mickey, but this character made me revise a part of myself that I once wanted to keep in the past, afraid of looking at that darkness, which will prevent me from healing from it, even if the desperate thoughts that once made me suicidal are lone gone. Moreover I think Storer has chosen to show us so much flashbacks of Michael so we also can see the elements that broke him, in the context of knowing his tragic ending.

We get to know of much he meant to people, how much he shaped Carmy for better or worse. I was particularly touched by the fact that even when Nat found love in Pete and Carmy found purpose in cooking, Michael was likely never able to find fulfillment, or worse, if he ever found things that made him happy, he left them behind to keep the restaurant out of family responsibility, he may have thought that was the only thing valuable about himself.

We don’t know what things pushed him to the edge, but we know, as people that value the lives of our loved ones, that those things were based on lies, the lies he had learned about himself. The show made an effort of showing us those lies, the “you are not worth anything” and “you have no future” statements, the implied abuse, the addiction, the beliefs that all those lies could overpower him. We can see the good person that was hidden under that pile shit. The love he felt, the dreams he had. We get to imagine the future he could have.

We know, has people that have dreams of their own, that can feel love for this fictional character and can relate to him in some way, or just out of simple empathy, we wanted him to live too.

That is the most helpful way to depict suicide/depression, at least is the type of portrayal that has helped me the most. Don’t paint over it with thoughts and prayers, let me see it, in someone else struggling with it, I can see clues of the lies I once believed too, let me put myself in the shoes of this person that may be as broken as I am, and because I see the good and value in him, I can start to see the value and good of myself that my depression was forcing me to ignore.

I don’t know how a person that is currently going through depression will think of Mickey, but I think it at least will validate the things that break us in the context of what came to break him. Even if he died, because we wanted him to live, it may give us courage to fight our own demos.

About the future of Carmy.

There is abuse, addiction, emotional neglect, and many other things that caused the trauma they all carry in different ways, but since Carmy is probably gonna struggle with depression, self-deprecating, and even suicidal thoughts next season, I wonder if the characters are gonna reflect more on the ways they can support him, instead of latching to their damaging ways of thinking, that have hurt them all. This show is about healing, so I am happy to think Carmy will find solace in his support system.

Edit: I edited this post, changing actually the whole approach, because I wanted to choose my words carefully, maybe provide other writers on why characters like this are important. Thank you for reading.

[shredsandpatches]

I'm a special collections/manuscript librarian in my day job, and the main collection I work with features microfilm reproductions of about half of the manuscript libraries in the Biblioteca Apostolica Vaticana. And it turns out (I didn't actually know this until I started reading Anthony Grafton's Magus) that those collections include a very important Faustian document: the correspondence of one Abbot Johannes Trithemius, another scholarly magician who in the letter shown above had just heard about a certain fellow calling himself Georg Sabellicus or Faustus junior, who was traveling around making extravagant claims (Trithemius is quoting his business card), doing horoscopes, and persuading nobles to use arsenic as hair remover. Trithemius considered himself a real magician, of course, and here he is basically complaining that Faustus Georg is giving the profession a bad name.

Grafton's chapter on Trithemius suggests that he was a pretty weird guy himself, and that his own portrayal of his abilities was pretty similar to what Faustus Georg was claiming, so no wonder he kinda took it personally. One of the anecdotes that becomes part of the legendary Faust narrative, appearing in the Spiers Faustbuch and indeed in Marlowe's Doctor Faustus--the episode in which he summons the spirit of Alexander the Great for Emperor Charles V--actually has an analogue that's attached to Trithemius, although it's a different emperor and in that story he wants to see the ghost of his wife.

The letter above is an autograph manuscript, btw--it's in Trithemius' own hand. Very Italian-style script: it's a fairly international series of letters, although Grafton suggests that portions of it are basically just made up and were never actually sent to their purported recipients. Obviously the picture is not from our microfilm!

[aijousenshi]

so i really wanna talk about some of my favorite aspects of sailor v. i feel there is this misconception about certain qualities she attains maybe because she looks like usagi or how makoto and mina both have this love for romance and tend to get caught up in it , etc etc. she has similarities to her fellow sailor scouts but every sailor has things that make them really who they are. they each individually stand out. I REALLY JUST AM COMPILING SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.

♡ MINAKO'S DESIRE TO BE MORE

one of my favorite things ( and absolutely one of my favorite moments ) within codename: sailor v. is the fact that mina tends to be hard on herself in her early days of discovering who she is. it's easy to see her within the main canon and see someone who goes to modeling jobs and has been successful with getting people's attention ( as in my canon she has also become an idol already ) but:

representing venus + love and beauty is a lot of pressure. that's a lot to live up to. even mina can be hard on herself. we see that here. to think that she would walk into every room thinking she's just this fabulous , charming individual that will dazzle everyone is just a lie. all of the senshi can be hard on themselves but moments like these feel very human. humanizing a young girl who desires to be so much but doesn't quite know how to find that .. so she'll take time looking in the mirror at herself wishing she had things that she doesn't.

♡ THE RED BOW + BECOMING SAILOR V.

a very important thing to my portrayal is that minako never builds herself around a man. even when it comes down to her LIKING men very much and going to great extremes to get their attention , she built her name on her own. the red bow in her hair does not represent the boy she liked giving her a gift. the red bow in her hair represents her. she trademarked sailor v , she forged her own path. it might be easy to say " oh sailor v wears a bow bc a long time ago she got it from a boy and this is her reminder of him " but keep in mind the very first boy she ever liked (after her awakening) was very toxic. minako making the decision to break things off from him once he showed his true colors and ultimately rejecting his advances because she has SEEN how kind true love can actually be is important. the red bow in her hair represents her determination , strength , and desire to fight for love and beauty.

♡ USAGI & MINAKO

usagi and minako are similar in a lot of ways but some important things they do not share in common are :

usagi is known to be the cry baby. minako does not cry. she finds other alternatives. yes i think every individual ONCE IN A WHILE will cry about things but it isn't excessive with minako. she strives to find other alternatives.

usagi and minako both are slackers but minako can be far more determined than usagi. she excels at things she is passionate about and will work hard to perform well even if it gets hard.

minako is athletically gifted. usagi is known to be quite klutzy.

usagi focuses more on seeing luna as a mentor and a motherly figure while minako treats artemis like he is her partner in crime.

family habits can be quite different for usagi and minako. usagi after her rebirth is very close to her family while minako isn't actually very close to her family at all. she has a ton of trouble with her mother specifically.

♡ SAILOR VENUS AWAKENING

sailor venus ( and this will go for my threads with people ) tends to act like a veteran soldier. she is the first person within the sailor senshi to reawaken to her powers. she is active before the events of sailor moon as we know during codename: sailor v. i like to take the specific canon of it taking a while for her to be recruited because minako believed in herself for so long , it's hard to open up to a group of girls to fight crime with when she GENUINELY wants to solve the world's problems by herself.

by the time of the sailor moon main canon events , the only real partner minako knew was artemis. there has to come a time where she knows she isn't powerful enough to face everything by herself. and it is through these other sailor scouts that she finds that resolve.

[gayest-classiclit]

ROUND 1; classic literature adaptation bracket

MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO:

based on: henry iv parts 1 and 2, henry v; william shakespeare medium: movie propaganda: 'My Own Private Idaho is completely bizarre, blurry, controversial, bold, God it's just such a good movie in every way. The main character Mike Waters is based on Poins (i think?), his best friend Scott based on Hal, and Bob based on Falstaff. Mike and Scott are street children and sex workers, but Scott is the son of some really rich important guy idk. Anyway it's not exactly a direct adaptation but it is definitely based on the henrys and a lot of the dialogue is from them iirc? And honestly bob is definitely one of my favourite falstaff portrayals if not my absolute favourite and yeah it's just SO GOOD oh my god. Everyone should watch it rn.'

SECRET SHANGHAI:

based on: romeo and juliet, as you like it; william shakespeare medium: book series propaganda: 'YA retellings (hear me out) of Shakespeare plays set in 1920s-30s Shanghai! Romeo and Juliet as childhood lovers and heirs to rival gangs! As You Like It but all the characters are spies!! Set against a backdrop of real Chinese history but with sci-fi/fantasy elements like monsters and mind control and invulnerability! EVERYONE is queer! Real justice paid to the characters and themes of Romeo and Juliet beyond just "it's a forbidden love story where people die"! Nods to the crazy gender roles in As You Like It in the form of double agents, triple agents, rogue agents and top secret secret agents! Just enough deviation from the original plots of both plays to keep you guessing before the original plot points come crashing back in to destroy you! Very good series would recommend'

[conquiistador]

What are your top five doffi ships

[ HMMM -- My top five? Oh woah, difficult question! I don't even think I have five ships for him ahahaha --- I definitely know what my favorite ship for him is: Doflamingo / Caesar . Caesar is my favorite One Piece character and yeah, I love them together. Currently writing a fanfiction for them in an EvilWins!AU. u v u //

Second favorite would probably be the classic Doflamingo / Crocodile . I had the fortune of writing it a few years ago with @videcoeur , and they really made me appreciate that ship .

Other than that I don't really have any ships for him that I "actively" ship. But I'm open for all kinds of ships. This definitely includes cross-over ships! And ships with OCs! If there is some sort of chemistry ( or maybe if it's just toxic, I love toxic ships ). Doflamingo is a very dark character and so I don't expect his ships to be wholesome or lovey-dovey LOL.

When it comes to writing ships on here, the most important things are that our writing mesh well, we get along OOC ( we don't need to chat a whole lot, but knowing each other a little is cool ), and we enjoy each other's portrayals. Oh, and of course that my writing partner is comfortable ( I don't have any triggers, but I wouldn't want to write something with someone and make them uncomfortable!! ).

Thank you for asking anon! I really hope that now that I'm being active on here again, I'll end up getting to write some ships for Doflamingo. 8) ]

[sunday-arch]

SHIPPING INFO. Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

the ones that have been occupying my brain rent free are; my canon x oc ship with makenzi, iselda x rosinante, and SanVio. i favor a lot of other ships, but those two are heavy on my mind.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

i'm down for all sorts of ship dynamics! i think the most important thing is chemistry between writers and what works for the characters themselves. toxic / unhealthy ships, i'm willing to explore, but again heavily depends on writer chemistry and understanding. plus, there are a few things that are a hard no for me that would need to be communicated.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

i think the biggest thing for me here is i really don't like ships where one has watched the other grow up and then when they're of age, the ship happens, or once was their teacher sort of thing, the unbalance of power there as well as the fact they were likely a minor at the time. both of those make me uncomfortable.

Are you selective when shipping?

yes!

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

clothes coming off or any explicit contact with private areas are considered nsfw for me, and at that point, it'd be a fade to black. i am willing to do morning after threads where clothes are presumably off, but once it veers towards a sexual scenario, i would also fade to black at that point.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

i will answer this for a few of the oc's! i like bartolomeo and iselda, and the potential of haru and robin, luna and usopp.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

yes, because i prefer the communication. or, even just expressing interest on a post i make about a ship i'm thinking of.

How often do you like to ship?

all the time? lol, i mean, i guess it's muse dependent. there are muses i'm more hesitant to ship or would like to ship first with friends i'm most comfortable with, and sometimes i'm not interested in shipping a character, and then there are muses that i am more willing to open up to a broader audience.

Are you multiship?

yeah! sometimes, i get attached to a certain portrayal and decide that i would only like to ship with this friend's version of that character. but, that's never imposed on the other party. for the most part though, i am v much multiship!

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

in between! however, i am obsessed with the ships i have and the dynamics i've cultivated with mutuals.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

besides the above mentioned, i do favor; lawbin, sanami, and zorobin to name a few more. special shoutout to druhawk because i am actually obsessed!

Finally, how does one ship with you?

communicate with me! literally, just bringing it up and asking, expressing interest by replying to a post, letting me know forthright, asking if we can chemistry test, saying that you want to send a shippy meme, etc. i know it is daunting, i feel the same when i am interested in shipping and broaching that topic, but i feel that it helps us establish a nice basis of communication.

tagged by: @sirensofthefiveseas !! tagging: i'm not sure who has done this, so please steal this then tag me < 33

[penetratedrabbit]

I love how you draw Harry and Voldemort, especially Harry, he looks very nice! It reminds me how they look in first HP-movies, good memories haha. I also love that you draw Lord V in his snake-like form, because I'm super tired of thousands 'tomarry' pics with random-anime-guy-oh-it-will-be-tom-riddle and random-anime-guy-with-glasses-and-that-will-be-harry-potter, so your arts are balm for my soul :-).

What I don't like is that almost every Voldy/Harry fanart in that blog and in Tumblr and everywhere is, so to say, non-consensual. I personally prefer when Harry enjoys being with V, because if Lord V knows how to rise from the dead, he exactly must know how to charm and pleasure young boys, though his look is far from what is called 'handsome', and that combination of incongruous is the best in that pairing for me)).

thank you for the initial kind words! i’m very glad that you like my portrayal of them.

as for the second part of your ask, the most important word that you included is ‘personally’. you personally prefer that scenario. it’s what you like. and i’m glad that you know what you like! that’s great! but what i personally prefer are acts of perversion, corruption, horror, confusion, and despair. i love slow descents into madness. i love taking advantage of pride and brazenness and goodness and innocence and infecting every part of it like a blood disease. i like noncon. a lot. if i didn’t, i’d probably ship something else.

so much of their canon relationship is built on the idea that harry has to live with this man burrowed deep in his body and mind and it terrifies and infuriates him. it’s built on the fact that this man robbed him of his childhood and forced him into a state of near-adultification even before dumbIedore could get his hands on harry and make things even worse. it’s built on how this man rebuilt his body from harry’s blood and they are one and the same, fated to be at heart, and that is deeply, delightfully horrifying. i like horror, extreme horror, especially when it intersects with romance, and this ship gives that to me in spades. it’s my personal preference. and that’s fine! there’s plenty of consensual content of this fic out there that i don’t particularly like, so i avoid it. i’m just putting out what i like. thank you for understanding! <3

[twistedtummies2]

ReCount: Top 31 Portrayals of Count Dracula

The day after tomorrow is World Dracula Day. For the occasion, I’m going to do a countdown of my personal five choices for the WORST portrayals of Dracula I’ve personally encountered. However, I’ve always believed in accentuating the positive: there are, in my opinion, more good Dracula portrayals than bad ones. Even if the adaptations and reimaginings themselves aren’t totally up to par, Dracula himself usually is enjoyable to watch, and there are PLENTY of versions to choose from.

With that said, it’s time for a ReCount of one of my largest lists: “Count-Down,” a month-long Event I held in October of 2021, where I ranked my Top 31 Favorite Portrayals of Count Dracula, along with a number of Honorable Mentions. A LOT has changed since I made that list: all across the board of the Top 31, different versions of Dracula have shifted place. Some that were on the list back then are no longer present now, and some that weren’t present then have moved in since. As for those that were there then, and are here now…nearly all of them have shifted positions in the ranks, for one reason or another. Times change and people with them, and revisiting some of these versions has given me new perspective, while renditions I didn’t know about at the time (or, in some cases, didn’t even EXIST at the time) have only added to the challenge of choosing.

With that in mind, it took a while to figure out where various takes on the Count really placed for me, overall, but I THINK the results here are - at least for the time being - the most honest and fair judgments I can give. With that in mind, allow me to present ReCount: My Top 31 Favorite Draculas (plus some Honorable Mentions).

HONORABLE MENTIONS (Left to Right, Top to Bottom)

Adam Sandler & Brian Hull, from “Hotel Transylvania.”

Sandler famously voiced Dracula for the first three films in this animated franchise. Impressionist Brian Hull took over the role in the fourth feature. I know these cartoon comedies are really popular, and I have nothing in particular AGAINST them, but I’ve weirdly never really been THAT into them.

Alan Swift, from Mad Monster Party.

This Halloweentime production by Rankin/Bass features Swift in the role of SEVERAL famous monsters, as a whole band of Gothic icons join forces to try and steal a secret formula from Dr. Frankenstein, so they can - you guessed it - take over the world. Dracula is the leader of the monster horde, fittingly enough.

The Version from “Anno Dracula.”

I absolutely love this novel series, which blends historical fiction with Gothic Horror, and has many bizarre twists and turns. The premise focuses on an alternate universe where Dracula successfully manages to take over England, turning many of the population into vampires. While his role in the series is important, Dracula HIMSELF very rarely appears, so I didn’t think it was fair to give him a place in the ranks: it’s cool when he shows up, but the books are actually more interesting for other reasons beyond him.

Count Chocula.

Ah, yes, because if draining the blood of the innocent wasn’t evil enough, we now have vampires that give you diabetes. As iconic as this cereal mascot parody of the Count is, he’s not ACTUALLY Dracula, so I didn’t feel he counted…plus there’s just not much to say about him.

James Barbour, from Dracula: The Musical (2011 Studio Recording).

There have been several musical adaptations of Dracula. This one was the work of Frank Wildhorn, and is probably the most popular. None of them are all that great, in my opinion, but this one has some shining moments. Several people have played Dracula in this one, but Barbour’s performance on the 2011 Studio Recording is my favorite.

Kamran Nikhad, from V Rising.

This game only JUST came out, and I haven't played it yet (nor am I entirely certain if I ever will). As a result, I don't really feel comfortable placing its version of Dracula in the Top 31 yet. With that said, based on the lore of the game, the videos I've seen featuring the character, and Nikhad's absolutely bone-chillingly breathtaking vocal work, I see no reason why I can't give this version an Honorable Mention. In this game, Dracula is a tyrannical and highly intelligent vampire warlord, who proves a threat not only to humanity, but even to other monsters. He orchestrates things behind-the-scenes to try and regain his throne, with the player's ultimate goal being to destroy him once and for all.

King, from Kamen Rider Kiva.

This was the first Kamen Rider series I ever saw, and it’s probably my favorite (or, at least, second favorite). A Japanese superhero series inspired by classic Universal Monsters? How can I NOT love it? The main villain of the series is the mysterious King; while he’s never outright referred to as Dracula, that’s clearly who he is analogous to in this universe. Much like Count Chocula, I didn’t feel he actually counted for the main list, but he’s worth an Honorable Mention at least. He is played by Shinya Niiro.

Mark Hamill, from Mina and the Count.

Just like Count Chocula and King, this is another case of a vampire who isn’t TECHNICALLY Dracula, but is clearly a Dracula-inspired figure. There are two characters on the main countdown who are in the same vein, but generally speaking, I wanted to save the main countdown for ACTUAL versions of Dracula. In this series, Hamill plays “Count Vlad,” a vampire who ends up befriending a little mortal girl named Mina Harper. Shenanigans ensue.

Michael McCarthy, from…a completely different “Dracula: The Musical.”

Barbour’s Dracula from earlier was in the musical composed by Frank Wildhorn. McCarthy played Dracula for a PROPOSED stage musical, created by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn. The musical had a concept album released, as well as a music video for the “big song” of the show, “Within My World,” wherein McCarthy performed in-character as the Count, costume and all. However, the show never got off the ground. Admittedly, I don’t think the musical was that great on the whole, but it’s still a shame.

Orson Welles, from the Mercury Theater Radio Production.

It’s Orson Welles as Dracula. I think that statement on its own explains why he’s so great. Weirdly enough, while I’ve gained more respect and admiration for this radio version on the whole since 2021, Welles’ Dracula has conversely dropped out of the running. He’s good, I just tend to think of many other Draculas more.

The Phantom Blot, from Disney’s Dracula, Starring Mickey Mouse.

I brought up this very weird reimagining multiple times in past lists, so you all know the basic gist of it by now. Disney has done this concept twice - first as a graphic novel, and later as a children’s storybook - and in both interpretations, the Phantom Blot plays the coveted role of the Count. I love the Blot, in general - one of Disney’s most underrated villains, in my opinion - but I think it’s more for his sake that I like his Dracula, than anything else.

Phil LaMarr, from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.

All I have to say here is…if you know, you know. XD A lot of people are probably sad I didn’t include this Dracula in the rankings, but trust me, he’s a funny one.

CHOICES 31 - 26

31. The Count, from Sesame Street.

One of the two “not technically Draculas” I mentioned in the Honorable Mentions. To be honest, I could rank Count Von Count - my favorite Muppet character from Sesame Street - MUCH higher, if I really wanted to, because I really do love him a lot. However, I felt it was too much of a stretch placing him in the upper tiers, simply because while he’s clearly a parody of Dracula, he isn’t ACTUALLY Dracula, but more his own unique character. However, leaving him off the list completely seemed criminal, and I like him too much to just give him an Honorable Mention…so, compromises being what they are, I decided to place him on the countdown, but at the very bottom of the heap. “That’s one! One difficult problem to deal with! Ah-ah-ah!”

30. Gerard Butler, from Dracula 2000.

I’m still not a fan of this movie, and I doubt I ever will be, but I will say I enjoy both Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing and Butler’s Dracula in the film. The movie makes an intriguing (if rather bizarre) change to Dracula’s backstory, revealing that he is actually Judas Iscariot, and his revulsion towards Holy artifacts is due to his past.

29. Hamilton Camp, from Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

One of the few “Funny Draculas” on this countdown, and a personal childhood favorite of mine. In this animated special, Dracula changes Shaggy into a werewolf and forces him to participate in an annual race between all of the famous monsters. If Shaggy wins, he’ll be turned back to normal, but if he loses, he’ll remain a werewolf - and Dracula’s servant - forever. It’s basically a spooky version of Wacky Races with Dracula as Dick Dastardly.

28. Rudolf Martin, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I know next to nothing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I’ve only seen two whole episodes of the show, along with a few assorted, scattered clips. One of the two is “Buffy vs. Dracula.” A lot of people apparently dislike this episode, which depicts Dracula as a sort of self-aware “vampire celebrity” who buys too much into his own hype, but I actually think this was a fun interpretation. Martin would later play the real-life Vlad Dracula - one of the inspirations for the fictional vampire - in the TV movie “Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.” I doubt this was a coincidence of casting.

27. Francis Lederer, from Return of Dracula.

This film came out the same year as Hammer’s “Horror of Dracula,” and it’s not hard to see why one is more well-remembered than the other. While much of this film is honestly rather dry and dull, Lederer really delivers as a decidedly creepy, unsettling take on the Prince of Darkness, and gets a pretty great death scene to boot.

26. The Version from “Return of Evil.”

This teen novel is the first of a series of stories where the famous Universal Monsters get “zapped” into the real world to cause havoc. While the book is overall pretty decent, and actually has some legitimately scary moments, I feel that the portrayal of Dracula HIMSELF is a bit…confused. As a result, I no longer rank this version as highly as I once did.

CHOICES 25 - 21

25. John Carradine, from Various.

Carradine played Dracula in no less than four films, as well as onstage. While his work was always good, the actual movies he appeared in were less than stellar: in “House of Frankenstein” his Dracula is thanklessly killed off before the end of the first act. In “House of Dracula,” he plays a slightly larger role, and is shown as a more sympathetic character - seeking a cure for his bloodlust - but is still destroyed (quite anticlimactically, I should add) around two-thirds of the way through the picture. The comedy film “Nocturna” is just plain bizarre, and the infamously terrible “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” is widely regarded as one of those classic “so bad it’s good” type of movies. Had he been given better material to work with, Carradine could have ranked much higher.

24. Vlad Garfunkel, from Phantom in the Twilight.

In this anime/manga series, Count Dracula - going by the alias “Vlad Garfunkel” - has reformed and become the leader of a group of monsters, or “Umbra,” who work to protect humanity from more evil creatures - sort of a Gothic Horror/Dark Fantasy version of the X-Men. (And no, in case you’re wondering, I don’t know why the Count would choose a name like “Garfunkel” as his pseudonym.) The franchise is interesting, but unfinished; both the manga and the anime end on cliffhangers and leave a LOT of unanswered questions behind, and this “pretty boy” Dracula is admittedly a little hard to swallow at times. Overall, however, not bad stuff.

23. Javier Botet, from The Last Voyage of the Demeter.

Described as a sort of cross between “Nosferatu” and “Alien,” this horror film focuses on the tragic misadventures of the crew aboard the Demeter - the ship Dracula takes to get from Transylvania to England. Over the course of the movie, Dracula picks off the crew one by one, killing and/or transforming them as he rations them off. While the movie is admittedly flawed, it’s not necessarily bad, and this more monstrous version of Dracula is an intriguingly frightful interpretation.

22. Richard Roxburgh, from Van Helsing.

A ludicrously over-the-top movie with an equally ludicrously over-the-top Dracula: you can’t say the style and the performance don’t match. Roxburgh’s Dracula isn’t well-regarded by many people, but I personally enjoy this version a lot, even if at times he’s unintentionally hilarious in his hamminess.

21. Chris Sarandon, from TMNT (2012).

This Dracula appears as the secondary antagonist of a four-part story arc, wherein the TMNT encounter several of the classic Universal Monsters. If that concept isn’t good enough, the fact Dracula is designed to have the likeness of Bela Lugosi only adds to the enjoyment factor. And if that’s STILL not enough, then the fact his voice actor is Chris Sarandon - Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, himself! - doing a Lugosi impression should hopefully seal the deal on why he’s so great. If Dracula had been THE main antagonist of this arc, I think he could have ranked even higher.

CHOICES 20 - 16

20. Nicolas Cage, from Renfield.

Nic Cage has long been a fan of Dracula, and the Count one of his dream roles. You can be darn sure his chance to actually play the King of the Vampires was a treat to watch. In some ways, his performance reminds me of Richard Roxburgh’s, except in this case the humor is entirely planned. At the same time, his Dracula is legitimately menacing and scary. Cage apparently studied various other past performers to help sink into the role, and it works well: you can see little dollops of other Draculas in his work, but it’s still 100% his own take on the character. I honestly feel bad for not ranking him any higher.

19. Zhang Wei-Qiang, from Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.

Again, in this combination of surrealist/Expressionist silent film and dance movie, all of the male characters are depicted in a negative light. Dracula himself is no exception, but there is some interesting ambiguity there: in the film, the so-called “heroes” all hate Dracula less because he’s a vampire, and more for petty and repugnant reasons. One hates him because he’s richer than they are, one because he’s more sexually attractive, one because he’s a foreigner, etc. While Dracula is still the villain, the heroes aren’t exactly good people either: they’re prejudiced and perverse, which blurs the line on who the real monster of the story is.

18. The Marvel Version.

I’m specifically talking about the actual comics here, because - as a future list will show - most adaptations of Marvel’s Dracula are…well…not that great. The comic version, however, is actually a pretty interesting character, riding a fine line between villain and anti-hero, as he’s been the protagonist of stories almost as often as the antagonist. Tie this into the fact he’s faced the likes of Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and Blade (who was actually introduced in Dracula’s title series, “The Tomb of Dracula”), and it’s pretty clear why he’s awesome. 

17. The Version from “Fate.”

In English this take is voiced by Ray Chase; in Japanese he's played by one Ryotaro Okiayu. In the Fate universe, the ties between the real-life Vlad Dracula and the fictional Count are toyed with in a very unique way. In the anime “Fate/Apocrypha,” it’s Vlad III who is summoned to participate in the Holy Grail War, but has the power to physically transform into the legendary vampire. In the game “Fate/Grand Order,” Vlad can be summoned in two different forms: one depicts him as being Count Dracula from Stoker’s novel, while the other is his true self, Vlad the Impaler. In all three of these cases, the relationship the real Vlad has with his literary counterpart, whose name and myth he helped inspire, is…complicated, to say the least.

16. Al Lewis, from The Munsters.

The highest ranking “Funny Dracula” of the bunch (since I placed The Count from Sesame Street far lower). Lewis’ Dracula - typically referred to simply as “Grandpa” - is more like a combination of a mad scientist and a kooky vaudeville magician than anything from Bram Stoker, but he’s certainly a lot of fun to watch.

CHOICES 15 - 11

15. Christian Camargo, from Penny Dreadful.

After being teased for two seasons, Dracula pops up in the third and final season of “Penny Dreadful” as the main antagonist. In the series, Dracula is depicted as the brother of Lucifer himself, and desires the main character - Vanessa Ives - as his Bride, hoping to use her in a plan to, of course, take over the world. The show was rife with darkly Gothic melodrama, as the title implies, but Camargo’s Dracula subverts this: a subtle, sinister, manipulative villain with a silver tongue, whose understated demeanor belies intense power and menace. A surprising and intriguing interpretation.

14. Frank Langella, from the 1979 Film.

When I did this countdown back in 2021, for the first time, Langella’s Dracula ranked MUCH further down. Having revisited the film since, I sincerely have no idea WHY I maligned the movie, or his Dracula, as much as I did. While not perfect, the movie is much better than I remembered, and his Dracula much more impressive: a suave, slick, sympathetic, but still sinister take on the vampire with all the necessary gravity the role requires. I am pleased to now place him in my Top 15.

13. Jack Palance, from the 1973 Film.

Palance’s Dracula was the first of several kinds: he’s the first Dracula to make a direct connection between the fictional vampire and the real-life Vlad the Impaler. He’s the first to be depicted as overtly romantic, seeking the reincarnation of his long-lost bride. And while he is not necessarily the first to be presented in a sympathetic light, he is the first where that sympathy is highly focused upon, making him into a more tragic figure. While not an obvious casting choice, Palance plays Count Dracula excellently, giving him both the elegance of his noble title and a warrior’s vicious ferocity.

12. Klaus Kinski, from Nosferatu the Vampyre.

As of now, there are three remakes of Nosferatu. One is still upcoming, as I type this, starring Bill Skarsgard as the vampire. Another was finished just a couple of years ago, starring Doug Jones as the Count, but has yet to be publicly released. (Perhaps if/when I see both of those, this whole countdown will change again.) The very first was “Nosferatu the Vampyre,” which featured Klaus Kinski as a more sympathetic, but still grotesque, interpretation of the undead Transylvanian. Kinski’s Dracula isn’t a romantic figure, but instead is depicted a lonely, outcast creature who is driven by urges he cannot control; he doesn’t WANT to be a monster, but he HAS to be, which makes for an interesting interpretation.

11. Willem Dafoe, from Shadow of the Vampire.

This was the other version, along with Count Von Count, who I mentioned technically doesn’t actually count (ha ha) as Dracula. However, under the circumstances, I felt this one was worthy of higher placement. In “Shadow of the Vampire,” Willem Dafoe plays “Schreck” - a real-life vampire who coincidentally shares the same name as the actor Max Schreck, and is thus cast under this pretense in the role of Count Orlok in “Nosferatu.” While the film establishes Dracula/Orlok to be a fictional creation, Dafoe is nevertheless playing that character at the end of the day, given the premise, and he does so brilliantly.

CHOICES 10 - 6

10. Duncan Regehr, from Monster Squad.

In this 1980s cult-classic - a sort of combo of “Ghostbusters” and “The Goonies” - a group of teenaged heroes have to face Dracula and several of the other Universal Monsters, when the villains plan to - of course - take over the world. I'm not really sure WHY I love this particular Dracula so much, I just...kind of do. Regehr’s Count is just the right level of over-the-top in the film. Much like Nic Cage and Richard Roxburgh, he’s hammy, yet still manages to have menace and power, and is quite the snazzy dresser to boot!

9. Louis Jourdan, from the 1977 BBC TV Film.

Aside from his role as Dracula in this 1970s BBC production, Jourdan is probably most famous for playing the main villain of the James Bond movie “Octopussy.” So, if you ever wondered what Dracula would be like as a Bond Villain, you’ll basically get it here. Jourdan is debonair, dashing, and deviously devilish, with a coldness and an unsettling calmness that even some of the best Draculas lack.

8. David Suchet, from the 2006 BBC Radio Production.

As usual, not pictured here in costume, because this is a radio version…but I’ll safely say, in this image, one could almost believe it. ANYWAY, Suchet played both Dracula and Van Helsing within the same year, both times for the BBC. In a TV film adaptation he played the vampire hunter, while in this radio version he takes the role of the Count. This is probably one of the most book-accurate takes on Dracula I’ve ever encountered, audio-based or not. Suchet’s work is often overshadowed by Tom Hiddleston’s appearance as Jonathan Harker in this audio play; he’s definitely worthy of more praise.

7. Peter Stormare, from The Batman vs. Dracula.

Inspired by (though not directly based upon) the “Batman & Dracula” Trilogy of graphic novels, this film (set in the universe of the early 2000s animated series “The Batman”) reveals that, after being destroyed by Van Helsing and his allies, Dracula’s remains were shipped off to America, and wound up buried in the middle of Gotham City. When he’s accidentally resurrected by Penguin, Dracula begins a reign of terror, transforming various characters - including the Joker himself - into “Lost Ones”: ghoulish vampires under his command, as he plans to take over the entire city. Interestingly, Stormare would later appear as a totally different vampire, subservient to Dracula, in Netflix’s “Castlevania” animated series. It was weird to see Dracula chewing himself out there, let me tell you…

6. Gary Oldman, from the 1992 Film.

Oldman is to many people nowadays what performers like Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi were to many audiences of yesteryear: I don’t think any version of Dracula SINCE Oldman’s has been quite as influential and almost universally enjoyed as his. While I do enjoy his performance, and the movie in general, I can’t say it’s one of the first versions that comes to my mind when I think of Dracula, so I therefore don’t feel I can rank this one in my Top 5. Sorry, Lord Shen.

THE TOP FIVE

5. Max Schreck, from Nosferatu.

Often imitated, but never duplicated. The true “OG” Dracula. There’s really not much to say about “Count Orlok” from this silent classic: it’s one of the most iconic and influential versions of the character ever put to the screen, and almost stands in a league of its own. While the silent film itself has some elements that haven’t aged all that well (the movie IS over a full century old now, no joke), Schreck’s work as this repulsive spook is still more than laudable.

4. Alucard, from Hellsing.

I used to say Alucard was one of my Top 3 takes on Dracula, but upon revisitation, I no longer think that’s fair: I just don’t quote him, reference him, or generally think about him as often as the three I’ve placed above him in the ranks. I will, however, still contend that he is one of the scariest versions of the character out there (which is especially impressive, since he’s the main “hero” of this series), and in my opinion the single most unique Dracula of the whole lot: it’s hard to think of a version that does everything this one does, and yet STILL feels like Dracula at the end of the day. Kudos to his voice actors: Jouji Nakata in Japan, and ESPECIALLY Crispin Freeman in English dubs.

3. The Version from Castlevania.

There are no less than three separate continuities for the Castlevania series, and Dracula is a constant figure in all of them…and in all of them, he’s pretty awesome. The “Classic” era, as I like to call it, has evolved over the years, and Dracula with it: starting off as a straightforward villain but gaining more layers and complexities (perhaps a few TOO many complexities, one could argue) as the series went on. Interestingly, Crispin Freeman - Alucard, our previous pick - somewhat recently got to play this version of Dracula in remastered versions of the games “Rondo of Blood” and “Symphony of the Night,” as well as the game “Dracula X Chronicles.” In the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, Dracula is reimagined as an anti-heroic protagonist, voiced by Rumpelstiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle. My personal favorite version of him was the Animated Series, voiced by Graham McTavish…who, incidentally, appeared in the aforementioned TMNT “Universal Monsters” story arc, playing the demon Savanti Romero. I’m a huge fan of Castlevania and its take on Dracula, and I reference these games and this take on the Count pretty frequently: it didn’t take long for me to realize this version earned placement in my Top 3.

2. Bela Lugosi, from the 1931 Film and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Lugosi may seem somewhat “hokey” by today’s standards, but there’s no denying that he is almost inarguably the most iconic version of Dracula: anytime someone does a Dracula impression, or a Dracula parody, or dresses in a Dracula Halloween costume, it’s Lugosi they pay homage to before all others. It’s fair to say that no other Dracula is quite as recognizable, even if you haven’t seen either of his appearances onscreen, and for that reason above all others, he earns high marks for me.

1. Christopher Lee, from Various.

I could go into great detail about everything I love about Christopher Lee’s Dracula, because there’s a LOT I could say, but I’m gonna make this as short and as sweet as I can: in my opinion, Lee is the DEFINITIVE Dracula. Considering the fact he played the Prince of Darkness anywhere between ten and fourteen times, depending on how you count, with one of those occasions being (so far) the ONLY Dracula in film to resemble the character Stoker describes in the novel almost identically…yeah. I think it’s hard to argue AGAINST that fact, personally, whether he’s one’s favorite or not. Given the man’s…COMPLICATED relationship with the role, I doubt he’d necessarily be happy to hear it…but Christopher Lee is, nevertheless, My Favorite Dracula.

[aikoiya]

Aikoiya's Writing Tips Masterlist

Important:

Everyone Who Makes NSFW Content (And Those Who Are Uncomfortable With NSFW)

Dadvice - Yo, if any young dude sees this & they don't have a dad or father figure in their lives to explain stuff, go here. I hope it helps.

Club To Teach Fatherless Boys To Be Men

Reporting A Suicide on Tumblr!!

Remember To Download Fave Fics On Ao3

Google Alternatives

Photopea Is Photoshop For Free

You Can Give People 2nd Kudos On Ao3!!

How Get Sleep

Scaling Pain, Fatigue, & Happiness - Helps pinpoint how you're doing.

Tumblr Chrono Mode

Google's "Track My Device" Tracking

Media Wellness

AI-FREE GOOGLE

Bikers Against Child Abuse

"Dangerous Rhetoric" vs Legit Dangerous Rhetoric

Is Your Car Spying On You? How To Check!

A New Sex-Trafficking Method!! (PROTECT YOURSELVES, EACH OTHER, & ESPECIALLY KIDS!!!!)

Smithsonian Open Access (free to use reference material):

Also, keep in mind that I'll be updating this whenever I find decent writing tips. So, check back with the version on my blog whenever, even if you've reblogged already.

My Stuff:

Tips For New Writers

The Importance of Establishing the Rules of Your Fic - Warning: This one's a bit of a rant.

Proper Characterization In Ships - Just my personal 2 cents.

Realistic Resurrection Mechanics - From a storytelling standpoint. (League of Legends)

Portrayal of Deities in Fanfics

Portrayals of War Gods & Other Such Nonesense

Haunted Jukebox

You Will Always Be You - Motivational

Blessed Be The Creative

How I Define Shipping

Fear the Man Who Fears No God

Female Fighting Styles

This Hatred Is Unreasonable

What If You're Wrong?

Also, OneLook is a Godsend. If you're looking for a word, but all you have is the definition, then OneLook might help. Now, it isn't 100%, but it's definitely useful.

Other People's Stuff: (If anyone doesn't want their stuff on this list, please tell me & I'll remove it)

How To Tag & Properly Tagging Ships On Ao3 - / is for romance, & is for non-romance! DO NOT USE BOTH UNLESS BOTH ARE APPROPRIATE!!!

Guide To Naming Settlements

Realistic Way To Write More Consistently - Evidently works with Autism?

Motivation for Writing

Tips For Writing Dialogue

Canon Isn't Gospel, But It's Useful & Fun

Fight Scenes Advice - @illarian-rambling

Advice For Writing Deaf/Mute/Blind Characters

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block & How To Fix It

How To Give Your Characters Chemistry - @tanaor

Fighting Scene Vocab

Writer's Block Cure Ideas

Types of Writer's Block

Why You Might Be Procrastinating & How To Fix It

Ways To Solve The 'Why Not Use Magic To Fix Everything' Question

Snappy Responses To "We're Soldiers; I'm Doing My Job"

Foreshadowing

Motivation Debugging

Long-Fic Help

When Characters First Learn Swordfighting

Writing Blacksmiths

Fantasy Guide To Royal Households & How They Work

Computer Shortcuts

Writing Liars Believably

Love vs Lust

Love Isn't A Feeling <- Everything here is correct!

How to Depict Heartbroken Body Language in a Man

Levels of Headcanon

Evil Is Boring

How To Write Non-Linearly

Subtle Familial Mannerisms

20 Compelling Positive-Negative Trait Pairs

Pain Has A Purpose!!

Giving Your Story A Message - @artist-issues

50 Alternatives For "Said"

Accurately Portraying Pro-Lifers

Magical Crimes

Medical: (Sponsored By @skyloftian-nutcase)

Ways You Can Pass Out

Dealing With Stab & Arrow Wounds

Time To Die of Organ Ruptures

Bluntforce Abdominal Injury

Writing Bloodloss

Seizure First Aide

Writing A Character In Pain

Other Stuff:

DnD Subclass & Profession Ideas

Urban Neurosis - Carl Jung

Keeping Character Sexualities In-Character

Twin Protagonists

Master Masterlist <- Go here to see every other Masterlist. Mostly fandoms.

[hellishvxbes]

OKAY. Before you read this, please this will talk about hard topics. Race, racism and Voodoo. The religion. this is nothing to do with western views, and I have done research on what I am speaking on. Of course, I am not perfect, so if I get anything wrong, please feel free to let me know. This is just stuff that I really love learning about and really want to include in my writing for my Alastor because I feel like his culture deserves a place in his life.

Okay, finally having some time to sit down and try and put my thoughts together. I've been doing a lot of my own research on a few things, as my Alastor is mixed race and does have dark skin when he was human.

I think V/iv's declaration of him being creole really was just a quick fix to make him more ethnic. and that's fine, but the more I look at things, there's so much that doesn't much up for him being a person of color in the time period he is from. I know its fiction, but I do like to add a sense of realism in my portrayals. That being said, to kind of make things make a little sense.

His mother was a slave, he grew up in poverty and ultimately his talent was what brought him to fame but it was NOT an easy road. Its important to remember, these were extremely dangerous times, especially during the great depression. Racial violence was at an all time high during these times. African American's were the first to be laid off from their jobs and the last to be hired.

For this reason, I like to think that the level of fame he had existed in what was big for a colored man, and he was a great voice in the black community. I do think he was big enough to warrant being brought onto primarily white audiences, but it came at a cost. Often having to downplay himself and who he is as a person.

Radio was primarily only a white owned type of business, but it began to open up to African Americans between the 1920s through the 1930s. The first black owned radio station wasn't founded until 1949. meaning a lot of the places that did employ African Americans, were white owned. As you can imagine, I have doubts Alastor had any real creative freedom. This is why I also feel he held a lot of resentment in his life. being black in a white man's world, especially when you're life could be taken so easily, you had no choice but to be 'grateful' for what they give to you.

To this I also believe he was taught to speak int he trans Atlantic accent. Which is why he has it as a 'filter' when he's in hell. For this reason, I do want to headcanon that his actual voice is probably still a little high pitched, but you will hear him use AAVE speech more when he isn't' speaking through his filter. I think because of how he was told to speak on radio, its become his norm, which is to be expected.

I headcanon that, during the height of the depression he was eventually laid off. It would explain ( at least to me ) why his suit is torn and withered. Probably his best, or favorite suit. Probably wore it to countless job interviews. I think he was definitely killing people before and after being laid off, but his killings grew after.

Onto my next topic, and i know this one a lot of people tend to shy away from which is understandable. Please note that this not me exploiting this religious practice, but taking inspo from it. For example, Bawon Samedi. I've been doing a lot of research on him, and honestly find him to be a very interesting individual.

he is known as the father of spirits ( Iwa) the dead. he is said to be very wise and knowledgably about the dead and the outer world. When Bawon Samedi ventures out of the kingdom of the dead, he must wear dark or coloured glasses to protect his eyes from the bright light. However, he frequently takes out the right lens to see the world of the living while the other lens allows him to keep an eye on the realm of the dead. This made think back to Alastor's spectacle. I'm sure its not that deep, but I love the idea of him being able to see more than just one side.

he and alastor have a lot of similarities that think are just really cool. the way their formal attire is pretty much the same. a long tail coat and a cane.

he is a trickster, and he spends much of his time engaging in lewd, licentious behavior as he ridicules those who take themselves too seriously

I think Alastor was involved with Voodoo, and its why he was so powerful upon entering hell. Voodoo is a monotheistic religion originated from French colonies and common in Haiti and New Orleans.

The practitioners of Voodoo believe in one supreme god whom they call Bondye. The Lwa are the primary spirits of Voodoo, acting as intermediaries between humans and the supreme god Bondye. The Bondye's existence is one beyond man's comprehension and so he rarely intervenes in human affairs. For this reason, the Lwa play their role. These are the primary spirits of Voodoo, each one being responsible for a particular aspect of life. Acting as messengers, or intermediates between humans and Bondye.

Therefore, in order to navigate through daily life and activities, voodooists must cultivate personal relationships with them to have their needs met. And those relationships are often created by making offerings to a particular Lwa. There are three families of Lwa, the petro, Rada and Gede. The Bawon is the lead of the Gede family.

I really want to believe that Alastor's shadow, bears somewhat a fictional entity of Bawon Samedi.

In terms of personality, much like Alastor, Bawon Samedi while he can be cruel, he is known to be a gentlemen. He never feels guilty or remorse for his actions because he doesn't have anything to worry about. he enjoys having fun.

kind of the way i view alastor who is enjoys sparking chaos for the pure allure and entertainment of it all. The Bawon liked making deals, and whatever deal was made, he always upheld his end of the bargain. Unlike Alastor though, the Bawon is not evil. Western views paint him as such because of a misunderstanding of the religion. But within the voodoo community, the bawon is see as dangerous, and mysterious but can turn into a guardian if his mood allows for it. A lot like how Alastor is more than happy to take on that leadership or guardian role, but in his case I definitely believe it is out of self-interest and less to do with being someone who actually cares all that much.

I had a lot of fun reading up on him. There are so many interpretations of Death and he has to be my favorite. I think he's unique and different than most. You see most as detached and apathetic, but he has fun. he can give life and he cant take it. he decides if you're worthy to keep breathing. he also values life and how special it is to live it. I wanted to talk about this though because these are things i like to touch base with in the way I write my muses. Especially those with a deep cultural background.