#this is just like dating my ex but without [redacted]

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for previously holds the record for my most overt macroaggressions to date. The company is in a somewhat better state now after changing hands but eight or so years ago I had some deeply heinous shit said to me.

Like a coworker who came up to me and spat out, “Why are dykes always wearing their keys on their belts?”

I stared at her in outrage and said, “My girlfriend wears her keys like that.”

“Well is your girlfriend a dyke?”

I reported it to my manager- a man who had once referred to trans people as “it’s”- but somehow, shockingly, nothing got done.

There were several extremely devout men in the stores nearby and one who I worked with in my store. He was called Keith and looked like a Tom Hanks ripoff. Name not redacted cause fuck him.

I loathed Keith from the second or third day of our acquaintance when he said, “You know I just respect the hell out of you, but I can’t abide by your choices.” Meaning, gosh you’d just be wonderful if you were in fact a different person who wasn’t gay.

Keith’s homophobia however turned out to be the most warranted I’ve ever heard when his backstory finally unlocked. You see, Keith was divorced. He’d met his ex-wife at church and they’d been married several years when one day he came home to find her sucking and fucking it up nasty style with her best friend in the middle of the living room.

When he accused her of cheating on him she scoffed and said that what she was doing wasn’t sex, because in fact, two women were incapable of having sex with each other. This seems like it could have been a solid argument based on Keith’s belief systems, but he did in fact think it was cheating.

They divorced. His ex-wife moved in with her best friend without an ounce of introspection and they attend church together regularly while she maintains that they’re just friends despite going to pound town on the regular.

[weyrleaders]

hhh

[kimdokjas]

Hi, do you know any fics of joongdok that retains Dokja's sass? Preferably an au because novel angst hurts. Tyy in advance.

OH BOY DO I *pulls up my [redacted number] pages of ao3 bookmarks* this is gonna be long so i'll put it under the cut!

okay so, some of these are a bit heavier on the humor than others, but in general i feel like these fics do a great job of retaining kdj's snarky personality!

Joongdok AU Fic Recs

the pros & cons of caramel by sunwarmed

“What’s in this,” Yoo Joonghyuk demands. “Peruvian dark roast.” Yoo Joonghyuk looks as if he’s about to commit a crime, so Dokja takes pity on him and continues, “And sugar, ice, whipped cream, cookie crumbles, caramel, hazelnut syrup, chocolate, and a little bit of almond milk. Really, I put a ton of work into making this, and you’re not even thanking me.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s eye twitches — once, twice, three times — before he takes the cup and squeezes it so hard Dokja’s a little afraid the drink will fly everywhere. [or: 5 times kim dokja makes yoo joonghyuk (the wrong) coffee & one time yoo joonghyuk returns the favor.]

loving out of tune by almostprimary

After a truly tragic series of events, Kim Dokja gains a new neighbor who also happens to be the only person in the world he would, without hesitation, push in front of a moving vehicle.

you're home by ksalientian

Yoo Joonghyuk is sick. This is not, strictly speaking, a problem, except for how Joonghyuk has never been sick in all the years Dokja knows him other than when he's been actively dying, which he is probably not at the moment, but how is Dokja supposed to know that, he's never taken care of a sick person, Dokja barely even takes care of himself when he's healthy because Joonghyuk is the one doing that most of the time, and now Joonghyuk is sick— Okay, Dokja thinks, staring at the thermometer that reads 39.2°C in cheerful green, this may be a problem.

new activity by oronine

In a strange turn of events, Kim Dokja meets one pro gamer on Google Documents and begins a correspondence.

pretty strangers by HeavenlyDusk

A stranger at a party drags Yoo Joonghyuk around town. Somehow, in the span of one night, he falls in love.

Moving Out of the Closet by Sinnatious

Yoo Joonghyuk meets his neighbour Kim Dokja, who at first glance seems to be living in what he thought was the building's janitor's closet.

two hands of the same clock by furihatachlookie

The hour hand falls upon the fifth hour, and Yoo Joonghyuk dies before the clock can chime in answer. In which a crown prince and a commoner, unaware of one another's existence in this seemingly unbreakable time loop, inevitably cross paths.

"can u tattoo 'i love u' in flowers?" by crispy_scoliosis

In which Kim Dokja, a florist, reunites with his estranged childhood friend, Yoo Joonghyuk.

a new reality with you by fruitastic

Yoo Joonghyuk is a beta tester for the unreleased game “Ways of Survival'' and gets way too attached to a simple NPC, Kim Dokja. When the final battle looms over his head, will he be able to say goodbye? ...Hmm…Maybe Mia was right about touching grass…

to begin again. by frostfall

(In which Kim Dokja goes on a blind date. It's just his luck that he runs into his ex.)

salsa doesn't count as tomatoes by aphrodisiac

Yoo Joonghyuk has a roommate. (And a crush.)

couples discount by anemotions (realdefonge)

When junior manager, Yoo Joonghyuk wins the grand prize of their company’s raffle–a five-day trip for two to Hawaii, all expenses paid–the senior manager, Kim Dokja, who’s had no luck with raffles, asks the junior manager to bring him along as a travel buddy. Yoo Joonghyuk eventually agrees and they go to Hawaii. But things only escalate from there because apparently, there’s a 50% dinner buffet discount for couples in the hotel, and Kim Dokja would to absolutely anything to avail it.

gimme choco (or gimme love) by beewithouthoney

Every Valentine's day, Yoo Jonghyuk's desk is buried in a heaping pile of chocolates. And every year, Kim Dokja gets one from the pile.

on the art of unplanned serenadingby sunwarmed

“Then prove it,” says Yoo Joonghyuk, voice low, and Dokja is struck with a few realisations at once. One — he isn’t a good cook at all. He relies on microwave meals for the vast majority of his diet. Two — when it’s revealed that he’s not a good cook, he’ll almost certainly never hear the end of it. Three — Yoo Joonghyuk has a really nice voice. Goddamnit. [or: kim dokja keeps accidentally asking yoo joonghyuk out on dates. he swears it's only because he likes annoying the hell out of him. probably.]

When I said I hate isekai tropes, I wasn’t sarcastically praying for it to happen to me. by Waltzfor-Zizi(azro_zee)

Kim Dokja wants it on the record that he absolutely loathes those cringey royalty isekai stories and even more so the cliché archetype of cold and murderous but devastatingly handsome black-haired dukes with a troubled past. He really should learn by now that the universe has a hobby to throw him into the lion’s den and make him swallow his own words. After all, he and the God up there do not share the same taste of humor.

there are more but this is getting a bit long orz

i hope these are similar to what you're looking for! if you want any more recs feel free to let me know <3

EDIT: if you're looking for even more recs (and also some of my absolute faves) there's now a Part 2 here!

[elisacaleisa]

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE TUMBLR ANSWER FOR MY REDACTED OCS INBOX QUESTION AND IM SO SORRY FOR THAT. I KNOW WHO R U WERE ASKER @vind3miat0r

BUT UH YEAH HERE THOSE ARE MY REDACTED OCS

I got ton of them as you see. So here are some I worked on the most: Edge, Natal, Alioth, Bliss. Also Elaine and Jakub!

Edge (xe/he/they) (real name: Cahya Rifai) is a Graviton Energetic, who used to be an antagonist towards FL, due to his once existing friendship with Kody. Xe used to be an asshole to them at first, because of Kody's lies, gaslight and manipulation. After being confronted, FL also learned that he is a Bridging victim as well and tell him the actual truth. When xe learn that, xe confronts Kody and after an argument and potential fight(?), xe ends the friendship and apologizes to FL, like ton of times, even after FL says they forgave him.

Edge is an omnisexual (w male pref.) polyamory demiboy, who looks like a jerk, but is actually just a big space and car nerd with anxiety and autism. And Edge is actually taken as well! He is in a relation with my partner's oc, who is an air elemental, my friend's freelancer healer oc and Alioth, my incubus oc! Xe also has a pet kitten, calling her Miss Angelica.

MORE OCS HERE

(Also side note, Natal actually had two last names, but the first one was crossed from documents, as he never wanted to be refered as.)

Natal Shaw (18) (used to be Costales) (he/him) is a humanborn (cis male, gay asexual) werewolf, that was abused and ran away from home when he was 14. Homeless until 17, where he got imprisoned by D.U.M.P. for breaking covert by recording videos of magical abilities and inversion (from the outside, he was a witness only) and uploading them on the internet. As he wasn't trained to even shift properly without hurting himself, David was sent to the D.U.M.P. to teach him and take care of him, until he is capable of doing it himself (or when he is 18). These two had a very rocky start, as Natal was very mean and an asshole to everyone. David, Asher, Milo, the listeners, . love. After like a year, Angel and David adopted Natal as their own kid and he became a part of the family, changing his name.

---

Alioth, named after a star in Ursa Majora, is a young (25), incubus (bigender queer) (he/she) (younger than Gavin), who is very into fashion, works at Build-a-Bear in a human disguise and is very preppy (I'd say). He is also one of Edge's boyfriends (also is also dating mentioned air elemental and freelancer healer, even before Edge was part of their polyamory!!)

Alioth is very talented at shapeshifting magic, unfortunately to the point he becomes obsessed with changing himself to please everyone so much he lost his sense of identity once, which terrified Gavin, who then left. Alioth used to be a big fan of Gavin's, following him everywhere, asking him questions, throwing compliments, etc., while Gavin wasn't very much into that HAHSHjdjsns. After they reunite, they have some unstable friendship, arguments, blah blah blah, they apologize to each other, learn about boundaries around shapeshifting and become actual friends! Yay! Unfortunately, Alioth still suffers from losing control over shapeshifting, HEHE.

---

Bliss Killian (18) (any prns) (pangender pansexual) is an energetic freelancer, who is so positive (and people pleasing) its actually toxic and currently, he is learning to deal with depression, while coping and regulate their emotions in a healthier way. They actually go to a different academy, which is stricter than D.A.M.N. and they have issues with their energetic powers, as it feels like they're not listening to him and they do whatever they want. Their mom was an asshole and deceased, they dont know their dad, they broke up with their ex (friend's werewolf oc, same age as Bliss and Natal.) who they still love, it's wild for them HSHSJS.

[lexicals]

System collapse notes made as I read:

(Spoilers, obvs, mostly out of context)

Amazing opening page as usual. This feels like coming home I'm so happy

Side note, "one of you" - like, is this being delivered to an actual audience, or does mb just like to pretend it is? I know it's just an in-universe excuse for the conceit but either option is so good

ART canon tax fraud?? ART canon embezzlement???

ART @ BE ship: "people die in car crashes all the time. I just thought that was interesting :)"

The note about iris having grown up alongside ART is so funny. And the note about her being ART's ratthi is so sweet from both sides of that comparison

I adore Three so much. The fucking baby deer comparison killed me this poor construct

I could be misremembering but it feels like secunit's narration has more colloquialisms than before, which is fun if I'm right

Love than mb and mensah have the exact same reaction to the extra settlement lmao. Handshake meme

ARGUCUSSION

SECUNIT YOUR BOUNDARIES. YOUR NEEDS. PLEASE STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE FINE

"Fun stuff like space battles and rescuing people and space monsters and throwing asteroids at planets" this bot loves its cheesy tv so much I'm gonna cry

WHY DO YOU KEEP REDACTING THINGS SECUNIT PLS THIS IS STRESSFUL. I can't tell if this is it editing out trauma discussion or something else

Mb casually using ART as a dictionary lmao

Oh god is it hurting over 2.0 specifically. Oh man of course it is. God this poor bot I'm so 😭

Mb and ART working as a team so fluidly.... best friends......

Ratthi can tell secunit is busy thinking/working just by glancing at it.... FRIENDS.....

"SENTIENCE SUCKS" LMAO. YEAH OKAY WE'VE ALL FELT THAT

MB JUST HAS THE VIDEO FILE OF RATTHI ALMOST GETTING EATEN BY A WORM ON HAND. AMAZING

Mb and pin-lee bonding over watching scifi car crash videos. Incredible

SECUNIT THE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES. LITERALLY TRYING TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE WITHOUT A PARACHUTE. PLEASE

I'm gonna cry pls mb stop beating yourself up for being traumatised. This is exactly what you were giving mensah shit about!!!!!

"It was always my job to get hurt" I Am Going To Fucking Cry

CITING ITS SOURCE ON THE PRE CR HISTORY LESSON LMAO

God I feel like this poor bot spent six books building up its confidence and it's all just been shattered after the thing with 2.0. Like it's so palpable in the narration that it thinks it's broken in some way and is forcing itself to carry on regardless but with no regard for its own survival, which has always been of pretty high priority for it even in ASR!! It's let itself get beaten up in the other books but it's never been reckless like this. Mb please stop punishing yourself.....

Ohh tarik and mb shared corpo trauma..... can we talk about that maybe

Ratthi correcting iris about the ex-secunit thing.... ouuououugghghh

"Under normal circumstances that would be kind of hilarious" mb honey as a reader. That IS hilarious

Mb "so is this guy your..... ex-security..... not that I'm feeling jealous or insecure rn....."

HEY GUYS YOU EVER HAVE A PTSD FLASHBACK SO BAD YOU PASS OUT. GUYS

HEY GUYS HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR BRAIN-CRASHING PTSD FLASHBACK ANALYSED IN DETAIL BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO RESPECT YOU

Mb once again having the worst time of its life but being offered a media archive by a friendly bot: oh fuck yes hello there

Ooooh pre-corpo media no less......

THE ART THERAPY-SPEAK..... "that’s for humans" "this affects the part of you that is human" I'm going to yell and yell and yell

"No, it doesn't read my mind, it just knows me really well" 🥺

I feel like MW has gotten more up to date on current gender/pronoun usage since the earlier books which is nice to see. We've had neopronouns before but having pronouns attached to feed/character intros is new and appreciated

Mb: "aw fuck am I being tall and intimidating again"

Local secunit physically repelled by power phrase "sexual discussion" like a fucking skyrim shout

VISUAL EQUIVALENT OF A WET BLANKET..... SECUNIT......

OHH...... OHHHHH!!!!! OHH MY GOD THE. IS THIS THE. WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THE CONCEIT EARLIER.........

Oh okay no BUT MURDERBOT NEW CREATIVE DIRECTOR POSITION BABEY!!!!!

And ratthi is so supportive. God I'm so. AAAAUGH

Just patch out the anxiety lmao. New mental illness fix dropped please restart your OS to apply

Telling your bestie to fuck off IS a kind of love language and I'm glad that ART appreciates it 😌

LITERALLY "(INTERNAL SCREAMING)". LMAO

Mb literally in a life or death situ rn: I could just burn part of this person's brain out to save us..... that seems mean though :/

"I lack a sense of proportional response" LMAO ART. At least it's self-aware

"I didn't come here to make friends" says the secunit who literally cannot go anywhere without forming some kind of allyship with someone

The delayed-hack though, that's fun. Wonder whether this file is gonna slowly make its way from CR secunit to CR secunit as mb gradually becomes some kind of mythic figure, lmao

"Be safe" 🥺

FINAL GIRL IS OUT. FINAL DRONE IS IN

ART: "Oooh you guys care about me ^^ lol"

LMAO ART YOUNGER SIBLING BEHAVIOUR

ALSO YES SET THREE UP WITH THE OTHER CRAZY SMART AI THEY CAN ALL GET A SECUNIT BESTIE!!!!

Murderbot trauma acknowledgement 😌 You go working through your feelings mb you're doing so well ily

WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXXXTTTT THAT IS INDEED THE QUESTION!!!

Summary thoughts: this was really good and I like that MW has taken the time to address the NE fallout before moving on to whatever is coming next, I'm mostly just excited for that whatever-comes-next now. I didn't expect this story to still be focused on the same planet, but it's cool that it was! And now we're moving on with more machine intelligences and rogue secunits in play!! And they mentioned the comfortunit from artificial condition so hopefully that'll come back into play soon as well! I feel like something is building up wrt construct rights in the setting and I'm very excited to see that, but in the meantime I loved getting this familiar romp through MB having a very bad day and working through its emotions while also trying not to die. And it was fun having the twist on the usual formula with things being so isolated and it having to handle everything while being off its game, it felt a lot more tense than some of the other entries just by virtue of the fact that MB's narration was so much less confident than usual, and it made it really nice to hear the fire come back to its voice once we hit that point in the story. 11/10 as usual I love this bot so goddamn much

[dahliaduvide]

I've been digging into the life of Jeremy Wade Delle, beyond just the day of his death that is immortalized in the Pearl Jam song we all know so well.

One thing Jeremy Delle and I have in common is that we both spent time in a psych hospital in our teenage years. We both ended up in adolescent wards of large chain hospitals. My experience wasn't completely negative, but I don't think it helped anyone but my mother.

Jeremy Delle was hospitalized in April of 1990 after what is believed to have been his first suicide attempt.

His parents put him in Timberlawn Psychiatric Hospital where he started seeing a doctor that continued to treat him until his death by suicide on January 8, 1991. He actually had completed a session with his doctor the afternoon before he died.

The redacted police report gives only a small amount of information about the doctor that Jeremy Delle was seeing. His name is given as Dr. Bob H####, and as Dr. Robert H#### on a card that the police found in Mr. Delle's wallet. This card lists two phone numbers for the doctor. The first if the general number for the Timberlawn facility, but the other number is likely a direct line to the doctor's office.

The information given in the July 1990 list of hospitals printed in D Magazine, a local Dallas publication, about Timberlawn is "4600 Samuell Blvd, Dallas. 381-7181. Psychiatric hospital; 232 beds; offers chemical dependency treatment, occupational therapy, and psychiatric unit". That's the same as the first phone number listed on the card on Jeremy Delle's wallet card. The second is 381-6327.

Without a last name, I couldn't search for any other mentions of the doctor in public records (and I didn't find anything relevant using the phone number), but there were certainly a few articles about Timberlawn. More than a few, I had to winnow them down to the ones that seemed most relevant to what Jeremy Delle might have experienced during his stay there.

This article from June 1990 explains the sudden growth in the industry in Texas. The financial motivations behind it have very distinct consequences that the article outlines: patients rarely stay longer than their insurance foots the bill.

When the money runs out everyone- adult, teenager, addict, seems to be miraculously cured.

There are several claims of misconduct by care providers throughout the time surrounding Jeremy Delle's stay at Timberlawn.

May 1988: A Dallas woman is admitted to the substance abuse program at Timberlawn. In February 1996, when she is in her early 30s, she alleges misconduct by her doctor during her stay at Timberlawn.

May 1991: In March 1993, a patient alleges he was pursued by his doctor after seeking treatment at Timberlawn for depression after the end of his marriage. He also alleges that she initiated an inappropriate romantic and sexual relationship which lasted from November 1991 to February 1992.

Obviously, Mr. Delle would have been, or at least should have been, housed in separate adolescent areas from any adult patients, but he might have seen the same doctors. Particularly because he was treated for substance abuse. I have some doubts about whether he was actually using any drugs or not, but I'll put that together in another post with some supporting documents.

I also found these court documents from 2009 relating to a patient that was hospitalized in the Timberlawn facility as a minor. She claims to have been raped by an older male patient due to inadequate supervision of the patients by staff and a lack of private space available to patients. No dates or ages are given, however, so it's impossible to know if this happened within the early 90s. However, if Jeremy Delle had survived until 2009 he would have been in his mid-20s, which is when childhood traumas begin to be understood by a maturing mind.

I'm not a lawyer and couldn't even pretend to be one on the internet, so I won't claim to understand anything about what is happening, but I can read through it and capture other facts about who, where, when, etc. If anybody with a better understanding of USA or Texas state law wants to shed some light on this that would be helpful.

I wasn't able to find any further information about the progress or outcomes of these cases, so I've chosen not to include the names of the staff accused, but they are included in the media coverage if anyone would like to search through news databases that aren't freely available online. I can only research the documents I can find, and unfortunately I don't have access to any academic databases at the moment, either.

My personal opinion is that whatever started Jeremy Delle down a troubled path started before he got to Timberlawn and the care of Dr. H.

I do think this line of research is important for understanding whether or not Mr. Delle received effective or adequate care as his mental illness spiraled out of control.

It strikes me that these stories about Timberlawn confirm and debunk some of the conceptions we have about this particular young man's life from the song written about him in 1991 by Eddie Vedder and Jason Ament. Jeremy Wade Delle was failed by everyone in his life with the power to help him as he started to sink under the waves of his illness. But his parents didn't ignore it completely, they tried to get him help. Maybe not when his illness first manifested, but as soon as his first 'cry for help' came in the form of a suicide attempt, they put him in a hospital that was known to be the best in their area. One with a developing, supposedly cutting edge, program for adolescents and those suffering from substance abuse. They most likely brought him home when the hospital said he was better. Sadly that might have had more to do with how long the hospital knew that insurance would foot the bill and not Mr. Delle's actual mental health.

The story is no less tragic than the story Pearl Jam spins in their song, but it's far more nuanced.

And it's still a great song.

[pb-dot]

Spooktober Sunday Special: The Clockwork Monster V

Halloween is right around the corner, and I'm finishing off the Clockwork Monster for now. Jake and 13 go on the lam, and a twist of sorts presents itself.

16.09.552 Recovered from Site B after the incident I’ve had the opportunity to confirm the date since my last entry. Tempted as I am to try to correct the dating on my previous entries, I know it’d be mostly guesswork. Besides, I seem to have left my diary note behind when we left the coal cellar. I hope this mistake has not cost us our freedom. I hope there is no sensitive info for me to redact in the first place, but in hindsight, I realize I should have checked.

From what little 13 told me, he has been dodging a member of his organization, well I suppose former organization at this point, but she has been sniffing out his trail ever since. He and two of his fellow modified people, One and Two, were sent by their boss (ruler or religious head?) to capture me for this reason or another. I personally suspect it is because my work on clockwork limbs is relevant to their interests in some way, but 13 has been unable to confirm this. One had stalked me for an extended period of time in preparation, and the plan was for Two and 13 to move in to snatch me on the 8th.

13, however, had other ideas. He hasn’t said much about it other than that he didn’t want to stay with his organization any longer, and that he had temporarily disabled Two, kidnapped me ahead of schedule, and made sure to keep me somewhere hidden. I have no idea what caused the damage I repaired, but his ex-colleagues remain my main suspects. It is, for example, quite possible that One made his escape difficult after dealing with Two, but without knowing her abilities and strengths it is hard to determine for sure.

The night grows dark, and my head grows weary from exertion. I’ll get to discussing our escape and my plans on the morrow.

17.09.552 Recovered from Site B after the incident Our new hideout is considerably less cramped than it was upon first viewing. The sunlight and draft in the abandoned apiary make waking up here a mite shocking, as I had grown accustomed to the darkness of the cellar and we arrived here by moonlight. Apparently, buildings such as these small towers were built in an attempt to vivify the town’s dying greenery by the presence of a large population of domesticated bees, but needless to say, they’ve been empty for just about as long as I have been alive.

After sunset yesterday, 13 had unlocked the door to the coal cellar he had been keeping me. As I had suspected, it connected to one of the collapsing manors of the old Noble Quarter. The huge building was no doubt owned by someone on paper, but inhabited only by dust and decay. There were many of those after the nobility that knew sense sold off their assets and fled the country while there was still a country to flee in the later days of The Wars. The Spire owned most of them now, but seeing as restoring them was expensive and most everyone who could afford it lived comfortably in the spire itself anyway, the houses mostly just got lost to entropy until they could be torn down for cheap.

The Noble Quarter was eerily quiet as we left for the city proper. It was about at this point I realized that I thought about 13 and me as “we,” and the thought of ditching him and making a run for it just didn’t occur to me anymore. He could be lying about any number of the things he has told me, but for better or worse I believe him because - Entry ends suddenly with signs of being rushed by outside factors, see next entry.

17.09.552 (later) Recovered from Site B after the incident We couldn’t stay at the apiary. Two found us, and although I barely got a look at her as she scaled the walls of the little tower, climbing like half a spider might, I now understand why 13 had no desire to remain in her company. While the modifications done to 13 are considerable, there’s a certain level of effort put into making him move like a human. Two, on the other hand, have been outfitted with entirely clockwork-powered joints for the elbows and knees, with the limbs themselves being stripped to the bone. Hell, the way she climbed, it looked like her joints had been replaced entirely by mechanical ones, as she was both double-jointed, and much faster than a human could be. 13 spotted her a second later than me, and we wasted no time fleeing into the crowds. I couldn’t see her, but I’m sure somehow that One was also present somewhere in the area.

After the many days of isolation and skulking by night, it was chaotic and scary to be back in the crowded bustle of the city. If it was unusual and stressful for me, though, I can only imagine how scary it was for 13, who was out among “regular people” without his cloak for what must’ve been the first time. At one point he grabbed my hand, and I held on for dear life as I dodged and ducked our way through the lunchtime rush. I had no idea if Two had any compunctions about following us through the crowd, but a staccato of clacking from the roof somewhere over us hinted that she probably chose to pursue us that way.

While I’m no canny street urchin, I will say I am good at moving through crowds and navigating the city. It didn’t take us long to lose the clacking that I took to understand as the sound of Two’s pursuit, although it is quite possible we were still followed in silence.

I’m writing these words from our current hideout, a room in a semi-reputable inn in the Entertainment District. It’s noisy and it smells like stale beer in here, but the proprietor seemed like a decent enough sort. He may not be above selling us out to our pursuers, but he didn’t seem bright enough to connect the dots just yet.

13 is sleeping. After our mad dash through the city, he seemed disproportionately tired, so I let him take the first shift in the room’s one admittedly decent bed. If I can find the peace in my soul to get some sleeping done, the couch’ll have to do for me.

Peace in my soul does seem unlikely though, as I am starting to realize this problem is bigger than I assumed. 13 may not want to carry out his assigned task, but his former allies seem to have no problem with the parameters of the mission. I can’t return home, and I can’t return to my place of employ. My life as I know it is, effectively, forfeit. I guess 13 and me have that in common now.

18.09.552 (morning) Recovered from Site B after the incident To whoever may read this: My name is Jake, former Journeyman at Barker Automatics. For reasons I still don’t fully understand, I have been targeted by an organization that implants complex clockwork gadgets in human subjects to enhance their abilities. I believe it is my experience with clockwork limbs that has brought me to the attention of this organization as my expertise should allow me to eventually repair and replicate the modifications in 13.

My savior turned out to be one of my would-be captors who decided to take this chance to flee from his fellow modified in the hope that I would know or be able to learn how to maintain his clockwork parts. He has since introduced himself as Adrian, and let me know the number tattooed on his forehead is his production number.

Both Adrian and I know that we can’t hide out where we now hide forever. Our pursuers are clever, and there’s little doubt in my mind they’ll sniff us out before long. Adrian and I have come up with a plan of sorts, but for it to succeed we’ll need to visit my former workplace to secure my closing wages and a few personal effects. There is a good chance our pursuers will attempt to stop us, and there is every chance they’ll succeed, but I know in my heart that if it comes to that, we’ll make them fight for it. Adrian has asked me to promise to kill him if it looks like Two and One are going to bring him back in, and I can only be thankful that he didn’t press the issue, as I still don’t know if I’m capable of such a thing. I will say his intensity on the matter makes for a compelling argument.

If we succeed in securing my resources we will endeavor to The text ends suddenly here, as the remains of the pages were ripped out, possibly by 13.

Post Script I bring to you now this incomplete record of events, Oh Creator. It is unfortunate that I was not able to bring you the young clockmaker and your wayward creation as you have asked of me, but I beg your forgiveness in the matter as I am but a poor servant of your brilliantness. It is still not known to me whether Two is still alive, as she has not made her appointed check-ins since moving out on a lead to intercept Adrian 13 and the clockmaker. She may be dead, but equally possible that she is not, as she is mercurial even on her best days.

In my efforts to track down my quarry, I found 13’s former hiding spaces, the coal cellar, and the room in The Pelian Lady, Site A, and B, respectively. Apart from the documents I have attached, as whole and unmodified as they could be found, there was little trace to be found of 13 and Jake. I was unable to confirm the location of the disused sky-apiary mentioned in earlier entries, but I maintain my watch and vigil after it all the same.

While I am tempted to indulge in speculation, I know it to be folly in the face of such a mind as yours, and shall do no such thing. With that said, I personally suspect Jake may have tried securing charter on a ship heading towards Pelia or one of the former colonies. It is also possible that he and 13 are trying to make their way out of the city and try their luck with the Farmer Lords. With your blessing, I will follow these leads such as they are and attempt to secure that which you so desperately desire.

With Equal Loyalty and Admiration Your Slave One

Tag List @ettawritesnstudies @mrbexwrites @teacupsandstarlight @anonymousfoz @wrenofthewords @sm-writes-chaos @dyrewrites @owlsandwich @olive-riggzey @athenswrites @kingkendrick7 @cat-esper

If you want to be put on the Tag List for this project, please interact with my Tag List Post

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi there, Jess here! Your redacted match game seemed really fun and i wanted to see who you’d pair me with! so here’s my junk! have fun!

-—-—-—-—-—-—

* Song - Taylor Swift’s Tolerate It specifically the lyric “Believe me, i could do it”

* Enneagram- I’m a type 2 but 4 was a very close runner up then 7 in 3rd place

* Video Essays- YES!! My favorite form of media. I don’t have a specific favorite, but I enjoy ones where they analyze the nature of people.

* Imaginary Friend- She was a girl about the size of Thumbelina. She had a pink T-shirt under a pair of overalls and flowers in her hair. I believed she lived in my jewelry box and I oftentimes went about my day with her sitting on my shoulder. Her name was Dorthy.

* Sleep Aids- I typically fall asleep with headphones in, listening to contemporary ASMR, role play ASMR, a tv show, or just some kinda background noise. I usually end up cuddling with my giant teddy bear that’s nearly the size of me

* Name Change- For a long time, i just went by my given middle name cause my given first name was crap. I chose Jess because it was cool and close enough to my first name that my family wouldn’t freak. (Little do they know it’s short for Jester)

* Favorite Redacted Audio- “Going all the way with your vampire mate” the emotional vulnerability always just brings so many tears to my eyes. that audio is what really convinced me to stick around the channel and check out other storylines.

* No appeal Redacted boy- sad to say there’s a few i don’t really care for that much. Regulus and Ivan specifically though. I also tried really hard to like the balance but never could.

* Favorite Media- I could probably quote the good place to you verbatim. It’s my favorite show and i cry every. single. time. without fail.

* Redacted Best Bud- I would KILL to be pals with Huxley. They seem like such a rad dude.

* Sleepy Ramble- Typically when i’m ready for bed i start rambling about anything and everything. and when i wake up i won’t remember it. most recently, my friend said i was talking about how good ice water is.

* Gas Station- Anytime i’m at a gas station, i get a white monster and an icee/slushee and pour the monster into it. it’s an abomination and i love it.

* favorite playlist- the playlist i made to scream and dance around my room to

* guilty pleasure media- old, bad MTV dating shows. they’re so crazy and stupid and give me something to laugh at.

* Fun Facts about Me- I’m 22 and work at the local cinema and it’s my favorite job ever. i play multiple instruments and music has become an integral part of my life. i’m an ex-theater kid. i keep every letter note and drawing someone gives to me in a box on my dresser. i like candles and nice smelling things in general. I’m a generally optimistic person, almost to a fault. I tend to have high hopes and subsequently get let down easily. I’m afraid of commitment and intimacy.

-—-—-—-—-—-—

I really hope that’s enough to analyze me and assign me a lover!!

take care of yourself, much love

-Jess

You are incredibly delightful and helpful! You gave me so much information to work with, so there is nary a doubt in my mind that you and Gavin would make an excellent match!

On a deeper, personal level, taking a Type two, typically characterized by that desire to be loved, who may be reluctant or afraid to fully be loved, and pairing you with Gavin works perfectly because that aligns with his mindset. You two would have a delightful slowburn of a romance, something that sparks and smolders until he confesses you are the sky to his stars (my favorite of his lines).

On a more minute level, I also think you two would work well because of the things you’d like; like, he would be so delighted by you. The thing about Gavin that’s adorable to me is how behind he is on some shows and movies, so I can just imagine his reactions when you show him old MTV shows like “Why are we snooping through these bedrooms? Who in god’s name is Tila Tequila???” He’d also get a kick out of visiting you at work and trying to get you to neck in the back of a theater with him on your break.

Song:

I always thought/ I wasn't the type/ To plummet/ Feel every cliché/ That low-budget movies rely on/ But I'm head over heels with butterflies in my stomach/ I feel fuzzy and warm/ And it's gross but I love it

I’m a sap and so, secretly, is Gavin. I don’t know if the tone really fits, because I personally can’t nail down what genres he likes, but the vibe works. I love ships that are not, like, “I didn’t know or understand love until you” but rather “I didn’t realize how easy and fun love could be until you”, you know? It’s also a really fun, energetic song, and I do think you and Gavin would be the type who’d have and be so much fun together once you settle into that love.

Runner-ups:

Guy is a fun runner-up for you, because I think he’d love all the media you like and would be really engaged in liking them with you. Also, he is definitely a theater kid, you can’t tell me otherwise, and theater couples are super cute. In contrast, I like Lasko for you because of that slow burn potential I mentioned. Gavin was a perfect combination of those two thought processes.

note: parental control was my favorite that shit was so weird tho lol

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[chaotictarlos]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 aka. 2022 Recap

Thank you to the wonderful @good-ways and @tailoredshirt the tag! You're a peach 😘

Guidelines: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces Word Count: 23,520 | Summary: An exploration of emotions. The Breakup Era from Carlos' POV

This is the fic that took 6 months to write. It was my greatest achievement of 2022. It took so much out of me to write, many tears, and almost deletions but it turned out so beautiful. It's my favorite fic that I wrote this year, and one that I cherish deeply. It was well worth all of the time that it took to write.

With love, your soulmate| Word Count: 27,658 | Chapters: 7 / 10 | Summary: Carlos Reyes doesn’t think he has a soulmate. In the 22 years he had been alive he had never found anything that would tell him otherwise. At first, it bothered him that he was seemingly without anyone and that there wasn’t a perfect person out there for him but he learned to grow comfortable with that information. He learned to adapt, to date enough that he wouldn’t be lonely, and on the nights when he was without anyone he found ways to make himself feel good. He was content. Or so he thought so until a letter arrived on the day of his 22 birthday. A letter addressed to him, from the past and from his soulmate. From there, they start talking. Leaving letters for each other to find and read, falling in love through the words that they shared. Will TK ever catch up to Carlos so that they can have their happy ever after? Or will time remain cruel to them?

This fic was a bit out of my comfort zone and dealt with a new concept. It's been a blast to write and I've enjoyed pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I hope to get this one done very soon!!

Fuck my life up | Word Count: 2,728 | Summary: The one time Carlos and TK talked when they were broken up.

It's no secret that I'm obsessed with the breakup era and exploring the dynamics there. I fully believe, in my little hc, that Tarlos hooked up at least once during their breakup era. This was my take on that.

finding the sun in a world of shadows | Word Count: 5453 | Chapters: 2 / 10 | Summary: In a post-apocalyptical world, two lost souls find each other.

This is another one that took me out of my comfort zone but it's been really fun to write and build the world. I have chapter three done and I need to post it, this is another one I'm hoping to get done this year.

It was always you | Word Count: 3333 | Summary: Sometimes in order to find out just how much you’re meant to be with someone, you have to fall apart and lose them first.

This is one of those getting back together fic's but I adore it so much. I love a good ex's to lovers fic and I love how this one turned out. It was a joy to write.

4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year I have so many I'm excited for.

(along with the two mentioned above):

TK POV Breakup Era Fic - this is a companion fic to the Carlos POV Breakup Era Fic and shows TK's side of things. It's slowly coming along but it's gonna be good and my hope is to have it done by summer!

Sequel to Carlos & TK Breakup Era Fic - this will focus on how and why TK come back together. It'll be canon divergence and won't follow along with how they got back together in canon, but I like the spin on it that I've decided to go with. I think it'll be a fun fic and it'll include a lot of conversations we missed.

[Redacted] Tarlos AU - 😉😏 this one is yet to be started but I have it mapped out. I'm keeping a little hush on the details, though. Sometimes it's fun to have surprises 😘

Secret Dating AU - Professor!TK x Social Worker!Carlos. This one I am currently writing and already has 4 chapters. I'm hoping to write it all out before I start posting it. This is another one I hope to have done by summer.

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

Length - My fics this year were longer and more fleshed out. They and more details and really went into the story rather than just brushed the surface.

Dialogue - I always feel like my dialogue is bad, but I think I improved on it this year. Hopefully I'll improve more on it this coming year too.

Ideas - I think my ideas have been better in general, which is really nice.

top 2 resolutions

Writing for myself and my pleasures which includes not being as upset / obsessed over numbers and how people might react to what I write. At the end of the day I need to be the one happy with the content I create, other people liking it is just a bonus.

Keeping in mind that I do this for fun. This is a fun past time and it shouldn't be stressful. Nobody knows me in real life, they only know a fraction of who I am and they may or may not make an accurate judgement of myself. And that's okay. As long as I'm having fun, that's all that matters.

number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

That’s what he got for thinking - a broken heart and an empty home that didn’t feel like home without TK. - which, of course, is from Carlos Breakup Era Fic

No pressure tags: @11thstreetvigilante @theghostofashton @bubblesandroses8 @mooshkat @cowlos-reyes @thebumblecee @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles

[trahoalai]

storytime but it's just me not minding my own business lmao

so my oldest cousin finished grad school either last year or two years ago I can't remember. I just remember last fall she got her license and she was really hard on herself bc she wasn't doing well at her job, our whole family was being really supportive but ig the issue was just with our location. there's not a lot of opportunities for her chosen field :/

three months ago she moved five hours away for her work and told nobody!!!!!! like we didn't hear anything from her she was posting a lot on her insta story but like. she and her bf were always traveling so no one suspected anything. notice how I said were.....bc they broke up‼️

if ur a stranger to this situation ur probably like "jasmine. no shit they broke up she moved and he stayed. this is very common" but for as long as I've known my cousin her bf has always been there. no exaggeration I was super young when she came here from vietnam and she was like "hi I'm chị [REDACTED] and I have a bf named [REDACTED] 😊" every freaking family event it's been him and her

ig she won't be able to attend them anymore bc of the distance :/ not the point though u wanna know how I found out???? she hard launched a new bf on her instagram yesterday‼️ they were at a lantern festival and she painted on her lantern "be with someone who is proud to have you" 🤨 I messaged her and her mom and her sister at once

leave me alone I'm just nosy. and thank god bc she and this guy have only known each other for a month and they are already talking about getting married‼️ I was like "girl WHAT" but she said she was at a point in her life where she wanted to settle down and ig her ex wasn't ready to commit.......SCREW HIM wdym he's been dating the same person for more than a decade he's literally a part of our family ughh

u know what the kicker is.....I never even liked that ex. when I was younger I thought he was cool bc he would drive me around and he could play guitar. but now it's like "aw hell here comes that white guy dating an asian girl who is so much younger than him >:/" I never said anything though bc they're both grown adults it's not my business. and it was very clear he was here to stay he learned vietnamese he like integrated himself into our community literally became family and now everyone is like "yeah but it wasn't serious" huh????? I don't like him but I would rather her marry the guy she's dated for 13 years cmon

asked her mom what she thought of the new guy and she was like "his vietnamese is ass he sounds like a little kid." but my vietnamese is ass too ig I can't fault him for that. he seems like a real kevin nguyen iykyk.

I'm naturally suspicious but the more I think about it I'm like. we know nothing about this guy but how much did we know about her ex???? *he* was always the one coming to our houses he could have no family as far as I'm aware. he never invited us over what was his last name???

and his first name????? it became like a running joke when I was little we would all call him "jeff" or "tyler" bc he never introduced himself. idk he was weird. it's gonna be weirder without him though he's in like every family photo. wondering if my cousin is gonna delete all the instagram posts with him in them???? there's like 200 so probably not

[ask-sister-solaris]

“Kiss The Go Goat”

Young Nihil x OC

Cilia and her friend had been lucky enough to get tickets to a concert. It was amazing! The songs were catchy and the lead singer was…hot. Cilia was stood at the front looking up at him the entire time. As one of the songs ended however he knelt down and kissed her, quite passionately, pulling away his makeup now smudged around his lips.

Cilia put a hand to her lips and blushed, not seeing the young blonde on the balcony shoot you a look of jealousy and hatred. The lead looked up at the balcony devastated and looked back at Cilia her friend was freaking out but she was just stood there. Her first kiss…was with a famous singer. She looked up at him and blushed again.

It was then and there Nihil realized. He’d lost Imperator. The one he yearned for, or had been yearning for. He’d never dated outside the ministry or had any romantic attraction to anyone outside the ministry due to his father. His first proper kiss was with a outsider, who was quite good looking. He hadn’t been dating Imperator because he wanted to, but because he was made to.

After the concert was truly over and people had started going home and such, Nihil searched for the woman he had kissed, finally locating her at the gates.

“Mio caro! Wait for me”

He rushed up to her and panted, grabbing her hands. He didn’t want to blow the bands cover, not yet.

“Please…Tesoro, join me tonight for dinner…to make up for that kiss, si?”

Cilia smiled and looked at him bashfully. Was he really asking her out? Or was it another prank from her co-workers. Her friend got in the taxi and she watched as it drove off.

“I’ll join you for dinner, under the condition I am able to stay at your place tonight…long story short…I’m being evicted from my flat and the plan was I stay at my friends but she’s kinda- gone”

Nihils gaze softened and he rubbed cilias knuckles. He didn’t know what it was like to be thrown out but he knew what it was like to..well…be left alone. He nodded and the joy that filled his heart when Cilia smiled…Satanas.

“Si amore mio. I’ll allow it”

The dinner went smoothly, they got along very well, talking about their lives (While it was obvious Nihil hiding something) She didn’t care. He listened to her, he made her feel heard. None of her exs had done that.

“Nihil…I wanted to thank you. For everything. But I can tell your hesitant to tell me something”

He froze and looked down bashfully. He went to speak before Cilias lips connected with his. A small smile quirked up on her lips.

“Nothing could make me hate you. I…I want to get to know you, to bond with you. To learn all your secrets while you unravel mine”

Nihil was very taken aback but relieved. Taking her hand he led her to the Ministry. But she didn’t pull away, or even let out a small gasp. She just smiled. That smile that would make Satanas melt.

A very cross Imperator and a fuming Father was waiting. But upon seeing just how smitten Nihil was, his father backed off slightly. He did care about his sons happiness but he knew that if the girl was to stay, she would have to marry Nihil, be initiated into the Clergy. Otherwise she wasn’t allowed in. Those were the rules. You had to be in the Clergy to even step into the Ministry. If you were to enter with a papa.

[REDACTED Years later]

Nihil was sat in his office looking through a picture book. Most of them were of Cilia on their wedding day, or pictures of during and after her four pregnancies. Cilia herself didn’t look a day over 40, but her body was failing her. She could no longer walk without a stick or walker, she was unable to do things that she could do before such as sewing. She had really bad eyesight so her glasses had to be quite thick. But she would always make sure that her husband was ok.

The funny thing is, even though Nihil is married, he still flirted slightly with Imperator. It was more jokey flirting and Cilia knew it. That’s who her husband was. As for her sons they were still mamas boys despite being in their 50s and 60s themselves.

In Cilias words “Your never to old to be scolded by your mother”

[petalsoffarose]

35 Days Later

I looked at you last night and laughed before saying "You know I'm gonna write a paragraph about this too right?" All you did was nod your head.

You invited me to hang out with you and [Redacted] and I said yes then quickly regretted it. I kept my distance from you and gave an annoyed face whenever it was just you and I. I told you to tell me if you were still bored later. It took 2 hours maybe for us to actually communicate and make plans. All of a sudden you were picking me up at 10:30pm. I got a lecture from my dad for it. I asked if your parents knew that you were out with me, and you said they don't even know you left the house. If they asked, we went out with a group of people and I just happened to be there too. We drove off and you told me that earlier felt awkward. That I would only talk to [Redacted] and gave you one word answers. I said I didn't notice. Truthfully I didn't. That's what made us talk about the break up for the first time. You asked, what if you invited [Redacted] to hang out next time, would that be less awkward. When I responded with an expletive and no, you got confused. You kept asking why, and then asked if he made a pass at me. You asked what was wrong with him, not taking my vagueness as an acceptable answer. You then said three more names and I said no to all of them. You questioned why. I tried my hardest to avoid answering but eventually said it. I have no interest in doing things that I did, or wanted to do, when I was your girlfriend and all I wanted was to be included by you. You then kept asking why I never said anything. I just kept repeating it doesn't matter now. That pattern went on for a little. Resulting in you calling me a puzzle. We pulled into the movie theatre and went in. We sat there and watched for a little until you wrote on your notes app telling me to check my phone. Through the movie we were snapchatting about the break up. Where I flat out told you that I have no intention of sticking around as your ex-girlfriend. That I have been clear about the position I want in your life. That in front of [Redacted], he knew us separately and everyone else knows me as your girlfriend and I'm not down for that. I can't tell you how many snapchats we sent back and forth as if we weren't right next to each other. I asked if your puzzle was solved after like half an hour. And you said it was, depending on my actions for the rest of the night. Right there I knew it wasn't. I told you I intended to receive all the benefits I could before Diana comes along. You asked what benefits I meant. I grabbed your hand and put it on my head. Head scratches. The thing we found that makes me fall asleep easily. Even then, you were still snapchatting me, trying to figure things out I guess. At one point you said that you were offended I didn't say thank you. I told you that's because you kept stopping as soon as I was falling asleep. You moved me a little so you could more easily rub my head.

We walked out the movies and sat in your car and talked. You told me that [Redacted] called you when we were in the movies. Of course your friend that I made out with would call when we are sneaking around. The same way he did when we were first going on dates. We had a tickle fight and then kind of sat there halfass cuddling. You asked about my breathing and then questioned why I didn't bring my inhaler. You were rubbing my back and I was rubbing your chest. You admitted that we are confusing, I tried to deny it then laughed. We're exes: who still talk constantly, who who hooked up a couple of times and cuddled before the semester ended, who made last minute movie plans, who tried to talk about how they can continue to hang out without it being awkward, who sat their giving/receiving head scratches, who were now halfass cuddling in the parking lot. So maybe confusing was the right word. You then asked me what I was thinking, quoting how I've told you I always have something on my mind and something written. You begged but I refused to tell you what was on my brain. Then I let you know I'd be writing about this. It was quite and I just sat there and we stared at each other. Until we finally kissed. Magically I ended up on your lap. After the windows were fogged up and we were both in our own seats again we talked about how we were going to be getting home so late. Me at 2:45 and you at 3:00. Of course our conversation from before wasn't done tho.

"You said you don't intend to stick around as my ex girlfriend. Are you going to block me?" I sat there silently and you kept looking over at me. You said my silence was an answer. I told you it's not that simple. You kept repeating it as if it was. Only it's not. You told me that you've be preparing yourself. That there's been times where you thought it was coming when I left you on open for some time. You rephrased the question when I kept quiet and I asked for clarification. You gave me two parts. Repeating the original question and then asking if I mean sticking around as blocking you to leave, or moving on as leaving. I told you a little of both. There isn't a timeline in my head. I'm not sitting here and saying that if we aren't together in three weeks then I'm blocking you. I didn't say this but it's more so I'm not intending to wait around while you love someone that isn't me. I also know that right now I have no intention of getting into a relationship but I didn't say that either. I tried to explain a small version of my idea of love. That I love fully or not at all and being as I know what position I want in your life, I have no intention of settling for a different one. You questioned why, if there's love I'm not okay with hypothetically taking [Redacted]'s spot and being close still. Then I admitted something I tried hard to avoid. I told you that when you you said you weren't sure if this is what you wanted, my brain heard you say that you didn't love me and maybe never have. You told me you didn't say that. You meant being in a relationship. You didn't want to be in a relationship, for a moment that's comforting because it didn't mean that you slept with me that morning without feelings for me. You kept questioning, what if my feelings change and I can love you as a friend. Using [Redacted] as an example. I told you I never loved her, for my feelings for her to have changed. I told you that I have no intentions of trying to get my love for you to change. You said what if your feelings change in 4 months. I think you said 4 months. I told you I will have already left by then. That being chill with you is not in my long term plans. You said what if you decide to be single for 5 years. I just told you that I'd be gone. I can't wait around. To which you said that you aren't asking me to. You said what if you decide that it's me, I said what if you decide that it isn't. You said you don't see why it's that way when we didn't end on bad terms. I told you it's because we ended on terms that I don't agree with.

We pulled up to my house and I told you to text me when you got home. I snapchatted you before I forgot. Something along the lines of don't take it as me being a bitch or take it to heart. That for now you are still a fun person to tickle in a parking lot but I need to protect myself. I then thanked you for the head scratches and the orgasm. You said it's hard not to take it that way when you are being told that you either get me how I want you to, or not at all. That you wish I would've continued to rub your chest or your arm and that they way I phrased my thanks made you feel like a $5 whore and like it wasn't that good. I told you that it's not an ultimatum. I can't force you to love me and that if I tried it would just breed resentment but I need to protect myself. That you could've asked since I was grabbed your arm when I wanted something. That you've have done better before but there's always next time. Then I finished it by saying that the way you ate pussy was worth more than that. You fell asleep. Not responding until the next morning. You said that we're just different in that case and that we'll see about next time since I need to figure out what I'm doing about hanging out with you. That I am a lot different on snapchat then in person. What I didn't say is that on my phone, your just another guy on my snap but in person you are my ex boyfriend. You then said that I've been a lot more direct over snapchat. Telling you I want a hand around my throat, thanking you for making me cum, applauding the way you eat pussy. I told you it's because I realized something about communication and stopped caring. What I didn't say was I am no longer trying to get you to only think of me in a specific light. I wonder what would happen if I just told you my full thoughts. Last night was a good conversation. I don't know in what direction. If it really solved things. Yet it was a good conversation. In some sense we are on the same page. Especially on the fact that we are confusing. For now, until I'm done or bored, I like what happened last night. Sneaking around and having fun, ending up in sex. That I'm okay with. Just you and I, I'm okay with. This warped version for now, I'm okay with.

[not-that-blog]

So sometimes the weirdest impacts from DV happen a long time after you're free of them. But also, sometimes the realisation that a lot of your relationships were just getting more and more unhealthy until you landed in the relationship that was DV is also really really hard and you start questioning how long you'd been ignoring abuse.

And the thing is, I didn't realise how much I'd been holding onto the lie that them hurting me, physically hurting me and not caring, didn't mean they didn't love me, because while I'd never do that, maybe their trauma just meant different and they needed help and etc.

Until my current partner stopped and instantly looked after me and was way more concerned with the fact that I was in pain than what had been happening.

And my survival narrative broke. I couldn't pretend that I hadn't been enough to overcome my ex's traumas and that they maybe somehow loved me. Because they couldn't have. I knew some of my kinder ex's didn't fully love me we were just young and not mentally ready to love and last... but I didn't realise how much the ex fiancé who assaulted me specifically, really stuck in my head. And I just broke down sobbing because what else could I do and he just held me.

This man loves me, like without a doubt, loves and adores me and has for a while. Not just because he's so loving that he breaks my survival narrative around my ex (which was my ex's 'reasons') that I clung onto to cope with the abuse because I couldn't handle it... but because this man holds me in his sleep and snuggles into me and clings to me gently. He gives me forehead kisses and looks at me like the most beautiful person in the world. This man had a crisis of sexuality and ended up coming out because he loves me. He puts effort into making sure he sees me and that I feel safe showing all of myself to him. He is genuinely kind and caring and wonderful and I am so so in love with him.

And yeah, a lot of the things that break my brain after DV are not the big romantic gestures, because *redacted name of abusive ex's at any random pick* would do those too. It's what as he very lovingly points out sometimes are the things that are the bare minimum in relationships. That basic love and respect for your partner and their safety and autonomy. Because you don't get that in DV, your safety doesn't matter to them unless they're able to yell at you for how you do or don't prioritise it.

Realising that I'm loved and respected and appreciated and cared for and safe is such a blessing and also something that I wasn't prepared for how it would shatter my entire world a little bit because I could no longer pretend everything that I experienced was somewhat justified because it happened to me and I just wasn't enough (because after hearing that for long enough you do start to internalise it) and suddenly I realised there's no way they ever loved me, because my partner loves and adores me fully, they couldn't even hate me to do that to me because neither of us would wish that pain even on those we hate most... but they genuinely had to not care at all, not even a little bit, because you can't care and do that. You have to see someone as human and care about them a bit to hate them over indifference... and it can't even be indifference... they just really don't care about anything but themselves and it's terrifying af.

Like literally kills me to realise how long I spent trying to love someone who never ever was going to love me back and in all honesty would've gotten bored eventually and killed me. And they almost did. And I am realising that I did in fact date someone who I will not be surprised when I one day see she murdered someone because she tried and would have killed me if she had the chance and I think my ex fiancé, I think he would've too.

I dated people who are almost absolutely going to end up being murderers and I was almost their victim and I am absolutely terrified of how much I let their version of events into mine.

And my partner broke that illusion and I am so so grateful for him and glad that I finally get to be loved.

[kens-double-sunglasses]

Is it okay if i request a gn MC that is extremely popular with girls for some reason with the first years (or just a few of them)? Like, they don't even do anything but as soon as there are open school events they're swarmed by lots of pretty girls squealing and gushing at how how/cute and respectful they are and at the end of the day they come back to Ramshackle full of biscuits and other little gifts.

Am i protecting my homosexuality? Absolutely.

I wrote this in a planet fitness massage room

This was Cater's fault

He invited you to stay with him over break

So he could pawn his sisters off on you

And THEN while he was doing his magicam thing he caught you with his sisters in the background

Your attractive ass stole the show and in the comments his sisters were raving about how great you are

They also raved about and introduced you to their friends

Who raved about you to their friends

Next thing you knew, your magicam blew up with many pretty girls following you

Weird, but okay

And then an open even rolled around

Nothing could've prepared you or your friends for the crowd outside ramshackle

Ace

Wasn't particularly jealous

That is until his ex asked him to introduce her to you

And wouldn't stop talking about how hot you were and how badly she wants to go on a date with you

He couldn't even slander you

You are exactly how these girls are perceiving you

Except they haven't seen you fight an overblot with the power of these hands

But that would make things worse

Deuce

The you fanclub founder (platonic (debatable))

You help him study

You get along great with his mom

And you're a good friend

He's taken it upon himself to be your bodyguard

Especially from jealous people

Confirms the hype when asked

And then adds on to it

"Is it true that [redacted]?" "Yeah, and then they [insert badass action that no human being thought possible in real life] here, I have a video"

Jack

Found out on accident

And by accident I mean Vil told him while they were on their morning jog

He didn't super think about it until there was an open campus and he had to fight his way through a crowd of girls their age with gifts trying to get them to you

By the time he made it to your door 5 girls had shoved hand made gifts into his hands and begged him to give them to you

Another member of the security detail

Epel

Didn't care until Vil had a meltdown because you had more followers than him

And then had a party because you also beat Neige

And THEN he found out juice sales spiked because 1. He's your friend and 2. It's clearly your go-to beverage

Maybe being popular on magicam has some merits

Has been accused of trying to get close to you by the girls

Had to explain that 1. He's a he and 2. He isn't into you (or at least that it's not their business if he is)

Nevermind, go back to being normal old you. Your fans are crazy

Sebek

Not a shit to be given

Unless the fact that all these girls are mobing you upsets Malleus

It does

NOW his free time is spent batting off the top offenders at the request of his waka-sama

3-5 girls who have repeatedly broken onto campus to see you and shower you in affection and gifts because you deserve it for all the shit you put up with

Bonus

Vil

Was ripping his hair out when you were beating him in magicam rankings

But then you beat Neige

And he was like "I can work with this"

And is now trying to make himself your #1 bestest friend ever so your combined popularity is unstoppable or smth

Get him to therapy

This is not healthy

Malleus

When the girls approached him without fear he was like ":) friends!"

But then they started accusing him of taking up all of your time and he was like ">:( foes."

So he assigned Sebek to keep the crazies away from you

Totally not jealous

Misses the good old days when it was you, him and those other guys who act kinda dumb

[hongcherry]

Tangled Thoughts || jjk

“It wasn’t easy to leave your boyfriend of two years, but the constant lies made you question your relationship. You tried to move on, but you were somehow constantly tangled in his web. After being captured by an unknown, yet familiar, enemy, Jungkook wondered if he was doing the right thing by keeping his secret identity from you. Was it too late to come clean?”

🕷️ Pairing: spiderman!Jungkook x exGirlfriend!Reader(f)

🕷️ Genre: exes to lovers, marvel au, crime~, angst, action/adventure

🕷️  Warnings: shooty bang-bangs (guns), slicing and dicing (knives), blood, hint of sexy time at the end, cursing, people get boo-boos (injuries), kidnapping, explosions, pow-pows (fighting)

🕷️ Word count: 10.5k

🕷️ Author’s note: I wrote this last night after spending all day reading every Spider-Kook fic I could get my hands on. I was not planning on creating this haha but… I love Jungkook. I love Spider-Man. It’s only right for me to contribute to the Jungkook spider-verse. I’ve never written a Spider-Man fic, so hopefully, it flows alright! 

Disclaimer: NOT ALL CHARACTERS ARE REPRESENTED AS HOW I SEE THEM OR REFLECT THEIR REAL-LIFE ACTIONS OR PERSONALITIES. THIS IS FICTIONAL. 

(Update Jan. 17, 2021: I have redacted Hobi as Ironman. He will not be in this story because I have other plans for our sunshine in future chapters. No, I am not anti-Hobi. Please don’t even go there. This is just what happens when you write a story spontaneously without planning out the storyline. Hoseok will appear in an upcoming chapter.)

my spiderkook-verse (SBaFL)  | bts masterlist

The air in the room felt thick. Your body was jittery and you couldn’t stop your eyes from dancing around the room. Anything was better than looking at him.

Jungkook, your latest ex-boyfriend of two years, sat in your desk chair across from you. While you could tell he was timid, he was less so than you. You weren’t sure why you even agreed to meet with him. It’s been a little over a week since you last saw him. You hated the way your heart still ached at the sight of him—hated the way your body yearned for his gentle touch on your skin. You hated that you wanted him back as soon as he came to you again. You hated how weak you were for him.

“I- I wanted to apologize,” he spoke after what felt like hours, though it was only a minute of silence in reality. You kept your gaze averted, inwardly rolling your eyes. Wanted to apologize for the hundredth time and not mean it. When you didn’t reply, he continued. “I know I have already, but… Argh,” he huffed, annoyed at his own lack of words.

“Why are you really here, Jungkook?” For the first time since he arrived, you looked at him straight in the eyes. His round, dark brown globes were filled with anxiety and hopelessness. The pain in your chest from seeing such a sorrowful expression made you want to wrap him in your arms and tell him everything would be okay. 

But it wouldn’t be.

“I promise to spend more time with you. I wasn’t seeing anyone—I swear! Please, Yn, I tried to give you the space you asked for, but I- I need you,” he said, his voice slowing and speeding up at random times. Shaking your head, you looked at your closed window in your room. The curtains were slightly pulled back to reveal the cotton candy sky. The juxtaposition of the colorful sky and your gloomy room was humorous to you.

“Promises are meant to be kept,” you countered. “You promised before you would stop running off randomly, or ditching me in the middle of dates—hell, you promised to even show up on our dates. You didn’t keep those promises, Jungkook, so what makes you think I’ll believe this one?” You huffed, your low voice raising with irritation as you continued. You were tired of his lame excuses as to why he had to leave abruptly or why he couldn’t make it to your dates when it was supposed to start 30 minutes ago. Jungkook never seemed like the type to cheat, so the thought never crossed your mind until the end. You tried to reason and believe his poor excuses, but nothing seemed acceptable after deep contemplation. It didn’t help that he couldn’t give you a reasonable explanation as to why he was lying to you about his whereabouts whenever you confronted him. He knew you knew he was lying, yet he continued to do it. Straight to your face. You spent three months playing this ridiculous game. You were just so desperate for everything to get better. Two years with the same person, seeing them every day, was difficult to let go. It was obvious that you loved Jungkook. At one point, you thought he loved you, too.

“I know, I know, but I truly promise this time. I’ll be there for you more. I’ll be here,” he pleaded. His voice was grave and sincere. You pulled on your bottom lip with your lower teeth. God, you wanted to believe him. You wanted to go back to normal. The last months, especially the last week, have been nothing but misery. Deciding to leave Jungkook had to be the most difficult decision in your life so far. You debated it so many times in your head. All the pros and all the cons. Your eyes wandered his face, being reminded of how soft his skin was when you held his face in your hands when you used to kiss. How his hair easily slipped through your fingers when you played with it while he laid in your lap.

“Give me one more chance, Yn,” Jungkook said and slowly stood from the chair. Your room wasn’t that big, so it only took him two paces to come to stand before you. He knelt down on your floor, hesitantly taking your hands in his as he stared up at you. His big doe eyes were glued to yours; his soft lips begging to be kissed. 

“O-okay,” you sighed. It wasn’t even a second later that his eyes lit up at your reply. Although he wanted you to agree, he wasn’t expecting you to. He quickly leaned in to give you a kiss but was interrupted by his phone going off. His movement came to a halt, lips grazing yours and eyes widening at the sound. He gave you an apologetic look as he pulled away and read his message. 

Your hands suddenly felt cold from his absence. 

It was subtle, but you noticed the panic in his brown eyes. Of course. You knew the moment his phone rang that this would happen. You watched as he contemplated his next move, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek in thought. You weren’t aware you were holding your breath until he stood to his fullest height.

“I-I’m so-”

A scoff erupted from your throat involuntarily.

“Breaking that promise already, Jeon?” You questioned teasingly, but there was no humor in it. He swallowed harshly, his face contorting in a grimace at your words. Usually, you would feel bad, but the anger forming in your chest overpowered any other emotions coursing through your veins.

“Yn-”

“Forget this whole conversation. Forget about us. I don’t want to see your face right now,” you broke him off as your eyes moved off him. He stepped closer to you. He wanted to ignore his message. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into your bed and pull your body to his. But he couldn’t ignore there were people in danger. 

“What about tomorrow? We can tal-”

“I don’t want to see your face ever,” you hissed and narrowed your eyes at him. His breath caught in his throat and he found it hard to breathe. Surely, you weren’t serious.

“Get out of my home,” you spat. When he didn’t move you softened your voice, “Please.” It pained you to see his face like this and knowing you caused it. You were hoping he would just leave before he could see the tears fall. Better yet, you hoped he would say fuck it and stay.

“Yn-” he tried again but you had had enough. Your chest felt as if it were burning with rage and sorrow. You quickly stood up and pushed against his torso roughly to show you meant it. Despite using a lot of your strength, he barely budged. However, he took the (not so) hint and left without a word with his eyes cast downward.

Another thing you hated about yourself when it came to Jeon Jungkook was how easily you were ready to crawl back into his web of lies.

It’s not like you didn’t like dressing up. You didn’t do it a lot, but the rare times you did, you couldn’t help but enjoy it. You liked feeling pretty—as stupid as that sounds. Perhaps you liked dressing up because Jungkook was never able to take his eyes off you. It wasn’t that he didn’t think you were pretty on a daily, but he wanted you to know he appreciated the little extra work you put into your appearance for him.

This time, however, you didn’t feel that same delight. You smoothed down your short, flowy dress in the mirror. You had exactly three minutes until your date was supposed to be here. It had been five weeks since you last spoke to Jungkook. Unfortunately, you couldn’t completely avoid him; he was in some of your classes. Now, five weeks may seem extremely short after a two-year relationship, but your friends told you it was good to get Jungkook off your mind. You felt slightly bad you were using your date as a mental get-a-way, but you hoped he didn’t mind. 

“Yn,” you heard your father call out. “Someone’s here for you.” Taking a deep breath, you grabbed your purse and exited your room. 

Kim Seokjin was indeed handsome. You had known him longer than you knew Jungkook, but you two never really took your relationship any further other than being high school acquaintances. You offered him a small smile as you saw him standing in your doorway, a small bouquet of flowers in his hands. He had his hair slicked from his face, exposing his forehead, and a dark suit on. After hearing the take-care-of-her-and-be-home-before-11 speech, you and Seokjin left for the restaurant reservation he made.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?” Seokjin said once the waiter left with your order. Your cheeks reddened and you shyly ducked your chin down. He chuckled at your reaction. While the compliment was nice, you couldn’t ignore the feeling—or lack of—when you received it. It wasn’t the same as when Jun- No. No, we’re not thinking about him tonight.

“This would be your fifth time,” you replied with a soft laugh, your smile not meeting your eyes. “You look very handsome.” It was Seokjin’s turn to turn away briefly as the top of his ears reddened. Cute.

It was a gloomy day in Seoul. The sun was being covered by its rival—clouds taking over the sky. As the night approached, the temperature outside dropped. Jungkook was walking with his hood up and his hands stuffed in his sweats as he moved along the sidewalk. Despite the chilly weather, there were many people walking in and out of the nearby stores. He didn’t know exactly why he rose his head at that exact moment, but he did. 

And he faltered in his steps.

The clutch in his chest was undeniably painful. The smile on your lips as you leaned closer to Seokjin was clear in Jungkook’s view. He quickly took in both of your attires and knew what was happening. 

A date. 

You were on a date with Kim Seokjin. Jungkook didn’t know much about Seokjin besides his father was wealthy and he used to be friends with Namjoon. He still wasn’t exactly sure what happened between the two. 

A wave of anger washed over him, but it was soon replaced with grief. Had you really moved on so quickly? Did you not care for him as much as you said? As much as he thought you did?

His gaze roamed your body. He would never not admire the way your hair cascades down your back, the small sparkle in your eyes when you were focused on someone speaking, or how you would cover your mouth when you laughed. Your beauty was a sight for sore eyes for Jungkook. As if he was in a trance, his fingers began to twitch at the loss feeling of your body against him. 

His thought was soon interrupted by a loud explosion. Glass was scattered along the sidewalk and debris fell from the sky. The ground underneath shook violently and people quickly began running in every direction. The tingling sensation in the back of his neck tickled and he quickly rolled to the left, avoiding a piece of concrete that fell from the building seconds later. His heart raced with the chaos and he quickly peered into the restaurant. You were covering your head with your arms while Seokjin was quick to move over you. Without a second thought, Jungkook ran to the nearest alley. After triple-checking no one was in sight, he tore off his sweats and hoodie before slipping on his famous red and blue mask.

His right arm extended and released a web string, quickly grabbing on it and swinging himself around the alley and into the collapsing restaurant. He assessed the building quickly and calculated the estimated amount of time he had to save everyone inside. People were already scurrying to exit and the table you were at was empty. Where were you?

He quickly shot out small amounts of webs at the building’s weak points, hoping to adhere to the structure long enough to find you and save everyone inside. He’d worry about the cause of the explosion later.

“Yn!” A male voice shouted over the screams. Jungkook quickly whipped around at Seokjin’s voice. He stood in the sea of terrified customers, eyes trying to find his date. Jungkook could see the distress in his eyes. Jungkook swung himself onto a stable pillar to get a higher viewpoint. It took him longer than he wanted, but he quickly found you being pushed and shoved around by the frantic people trying to exit the building. Before he could move toward you, he slipped as the pillar he once was on began crumping.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jungkook hissed and quickly leaped off, shooting small webs to stabilize the pillar and grabbing the falling debris so it wouldn’t fall on anyone. When his gaze went back to where you once were, you had disappeared. He swung near your last location and widened his eyes at the sight of your curled-up body. You must have gotten pushed down by the crowd.

“I know I’m supposed to be saving these people, but fucking hell. Dumbasses,” Jungkook spoke to himself silently as he quickly leaped down. Shrieks were erupted by the sudden appearance of Spider-Man. People were in too much of a rush to stop and gape at the well-known hero.

Jungkook placed his arms out and forced people to step around you rather than kick or walk over you—literately. He could see people’s shoeprints on your dress and on your exposed thighs. Your skin was red from the abuse. When enough people were getting the hint to move around you, Jungkook quickly knelt down and gathered you in his arms. 

You whimpered at the movement. Although you hadn’t been passed out, your body felt weak as if it were going to. You ached all over and you just wanted to be in your bed. You weren’t sure what was happening but you quickly clung to whoever had helped you off the floor. It wasn’t that you didn’t try to get up, but there were too many people rushing to leave. Every time you had gotten on your hands and knees to stand, someone would either trip over you or step on your hands, forcing you back onto the cold tile. 

“Hang in there,” a deep voice said next to your ear. If you weren’t so weak you would say it sounded oddly familiar. It was deep like your friend Taehyung’s, but also not quite his. There was an underlying tone that ticked something off in your head. However, you dismissed it by thinking you were kicked in the head too many times.

You used all your strength, which was very little, to wrap your arms around the stranger’s neck. You felt his arm tighten around your waist before you were both hoisted in the air. A small gasp left your mouth at the sudden movement. Who was this? You quickly peered at the man’s face and took in the red mask with eye-shaped white areas. You were in Spider-Man’s arms?!

If it weren’t for the fact you were high in the air, you would totally be freaking out right now. You weren’t overly obsessed with the masked hero, but you were curious about who it was saving people around the clock. You were impressed and wouldn’t lie to say you wished to meet him once in your life. Wish granted, however, you had wanted it to do so in a less dangerous scenario. 

Spider-Man quickly swung around the collapsing building until you both were met with the chilly Seoul weather. He quickly sat you down far enough from the scene, but close enough for him to retreat back quickly. Your eyes were wide as you tried to catch your breath. You were popping yourself up on your arms but knew that wasn’t going to last long. Your arms trembled at supporting your weight.

“Are you okay, Y- ma’am?” The masked man asked hurriedly. You nodded. He stayed squatted in front of you, examining your face for any signs of further pain. Did he do this to everyone he saved? Just stare at them? He knew you must be hurting but the adrenaline was masking it. He just wanted to make sure you be okay for now. 

“Oh thank goodness. Yn!” Seokjin came running from the restaurant and quickly took off his jacket to cover your shoulders. Before you could thank Spider-Man, he was already swinging his way back into the building. You watched silently in awe as he kept the building stable until the remaining people left the restaurant. Although you could hear Seokjin talking to you, his words weren’t registering. You were too focused on the man who saved you. After a quick double-check for any customers who needed help or were passed out, Spider-Man left the stumbling building into the night.

Jungkook sat silently outside your bedroom window. Your curtains were pulled back which allowed him to see you fully. You laid in your bed fast asleep. He heard that you were cleared from the hospital after learning you weren't concussed or badly injured. A few bruises would form but overall you would be okay. He was grateful to be able to simply watch as your chest rose and fell, noting you were alive. 

He stared down at his gloved hands and wondered if keeping this a secret was truly the best for you. His mentor, Tony, told him it was safer to not expose his identity to anyone, but the more you drifted away from him, the more he doubted it. While he knew he couldn’t leave his double life (he wanted to be able to help those in need and if he was capable, then he should), he also knew he couldn’t live without you. 

His fingers rolled inward until they formed a fist. He didn’t know what to do. He needed to protect you, but he couldn’t lose you. Movement in the corner of his eyes tore him away from his hands. You were stirring in your sleep and soon opening your eyes with a gasp. Thanks to his increased speed and quick reflexes, he flattened himself against your wall and out of your view. However, you had caught sight of the red and blue outside your window.

Steadily, you climbed out of bed, wincing at the soreness in your legs. Your pace was slower as you limped. You unlocked your window and slid it up with weak arms. You peeked your head of your window and looked both ways in hopes to find who you thought may be Spider-Man outside your room. You hadn’t thanked him and wished you had the opportunity to. Though you were only met with a chilly breeze. You sighed as you tucked your head back in, closed and locked your window, and pulled your curtain over it. You stayed with your hands resting against the window sill as a million thoughts raced in your mind. You weren’t able to interact with Spider-Man for long, but something about him kept you thinking back to him. You went back to sleep wishing you could thank him in person soon.

Although your date with Seokjin was a fail, he offered to make it up to you. However, you kindly declined. You enjoyed the short time you two spent together, but you knew it did nothing to “cure” you of Jungkook. You didn’t want to lead Jin on for your selfish mental escape. It wasn’t fair for him. Though you didn’t tell him all this. You had simply said you didn’t think it was a good idea, but maybe another time. Luckily, he took no offense and told you he was here for you no matter what. You were grateful to have him in your life, even if you two barely spoke to each other until a few days before your date.

You examined your exposed legs in your mirror as you began getting ready for school. Your bruises were almost completely healed but your legs still ached. Wincing, you pulled up your jeans and slipped on your shoes. It was Friday and you planned to hang out at an arcade near the school with some friends. You ignored the memories of the late nights you and Jungkook visited at the same arcade, stealing kisses here and there as you both went around to play any game that interested the both of you.

“Hey, don’t hate me, but Jungkook will be coming with us today,” Jimin, one of your best friends, told you during the last period. You looked at him in disbelief and covered your face with your hands.

“You said you would make sure he wasn’t coming,” you huffed. Jimin frowned at your response and gave you a reassuring back rub.

“I tried, but Tae and Namjoon insisted. We can just hang out together without them?” He offered with a small smile. You could tell he was trying to make it up to you, but it wasn’t working. You hadn’t been close to Jungkook since you kicked him out of your home. Seeing him wasn’t the problem. The problem was you were scared you would succumb to him.

“I-I’ll be fine. Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you said. “That would be the easiest solution.” Jimin quickly shook his head in protest.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you, okay?” He lowered his voice when the teacher eyed you both. You were both supposed to be discussing the latest equations, not your weekend plans. Instead of arguing, you just nodded and glanced at the clock. The arcade trip was becoming less enjoyable by the second.

“That’s cheating!” Namjoon called out to Taehyung who had just plucked a strand of tickets from underneath a game machine. Taehyung smirked as he waved the tickets mockingly in Joon’s face.

“Hey, you didn’t say how to get the tickets. The bet is still on. I’m going to get more tickets than you,” Taehyung replied and quickly ran off to check underneath the rest of the machines. Joon growled under his breath before following Taehyung, trying to find any abandoned tickets on the floor or in a machine.

You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering to Jungkook in the corner. His back was toward you and he was in a conversation with his best friend, Yoongi. They were too far to hear what they were discussing, but it seemed serious.

“Yn,” Jimin’s soft voice reeled you back to him. “How about we go play that whack-a-mole game? We can pretend it Kook’s face.”

You snorted at his suggestion but followed him to the machine. You offered he go first as you stood next to it. You had to admit, Jimin was good at getting your mind off of things. Soon, you were giggling at his ridiculous, dramatic movements. There was no reason for him to hit those poor moles so roughly while making cute grunting noises. You didn’t even realize the pair of eyes on you as you watched Jimin with a smile on your face.

Jungkook leaned against the wall as he watched you walk to a game machine. Well, it was more like a limp. He tried to hid his frown at that. You had been limping for a few days after the incident. It was to be expected from the harsh bruises that were on your skin, but it still made him wish he could’ve done something sooner to prevent you from any pain. 

“I think you should tell her,” Yoongi commented as he noticed the way Jungkook followed your every move. Yoongi was the only person to know Jungkook’s true identity. Although Yoongi was reserved, he was quite the observer. He was quick to call out Jungkook’s secret life. Jungkook was nervous that Yoongi knew, but there was nothing he could do about it. Yoongi could tell when Jungkook was lying to him. Call it a sixth sense for being friends for years. It was useless to keep denying the truth when he knew Yoongi had discovered his secret life. Jungkook poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he thought about it.

“I don’t know,” he sighed out as he watched you laugh at Jimin’s excessive smacks to the machine moles. “Mr. Stark said it would put her in more danger if I did. I can’t have that happen. I can’t be the cause for that.”

“So you’re willing to just let her go then? You know that’s what’s happening. Every day that goes by, you lose a bit of her,” Yoongi replied. He was never the one to beat around the bush. Jungkook was grateful for that—most of the time. Jungkook sighed in defeat and confusion.

“Mr. Stark is going to kill me,” he mumbled under his breath. Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“He’s publicly known as Iron Man and he has enemies. He sounds like a hypocrite,” Yoongi replied. 

“He’s been doing this longer than me; I’m sure he has points I’m not understanding,” Jungkook tried to reason. While he understood Yoongi, he was nervous to risk Tony’s advice in case it bit him in the ass later. Tony’s I-told-you-so speeches aren’t so fun to listen to.

“All I’m saying is-” A beeping interrupted Yoongi and Jungkook knew exactly what that meant. Yoongi nodded his head, letting Jungkook know he’d cover for his friend. Jungkook quickly glanced at you and to his surprise, you were staring back. He gave you a nervous (yet apologetic) smile before he silently left the room. The small smile that was forming on your lips unwillingly quickly disappeared when you realized he was leaving for an unknown reason again. Things never change apparently. 

You tried to ignore what had just happened and go back to whacking moles with Jimin; however, something felt odd. You brushed it off thinking it was just you wondering about Jungkook. Yoongi came to your side a minute later, giving you a small greeting before he watched with amusement at you hitting the moles randomly popping up. You wanted to ask about Jungkook but didn’t want to seem interested in him still. You needed to move on.

“Why are you laughing at me, Yoongi?” You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. Yoongi shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips.

“No reason, just thinking about how I could beat both of your scores,” he replied. Jimin and you scoffed.

“Stop talking out of your ass, Min,” Jimin retorted teasingly to which Yoongi chuckled and reached out an arm for the mallet. You handed it to him and stood next to Jimin in anticipation. As soon as Yoongi slammed the hammer down on one of the moles, a loud ringing emitted through the arcade—silencing the entire building eerily. Your heart raced with fear before you saw them.

At least a dozen men dressed in all black stormed through different doors, assault rifles in each of their hands. Before you could register what was happening, Jimin shoved you behind his lean body. Yoongi had pulled out his phone and was typing something rapidly. Shouldn’t he be calling 911 and not texting someone?

“Don’t move,” Jimin whispered to you, head never moving to look at you. He had his eyes glued to the men surrounding the exits. You nodded against his back, hands clutching his shirt tightly. You hopped Taehyung and Joon were somewhere safe.

“... Must still be here… Didn’t…See… Leave,” you heard pieces of what a man said over the sudden shrieks and cries from the other arcade attendees. You glanced at Yoongi who was still typing on his phone, albeit discretely this time. You jumped when one of the men fired shots in the air, piercing through the ceiling. The room quickly grew silent again.

“Now that I have your attention, this can all go easily as long as you all corporate,” the man in the center spoke loudly and scanned the crowd. A couple of men entered the same room with other arcade customers. They must be rounding up all the customers for easy picking. In the crowd, you spotted Taehyung and Namjoon. 

“All we want you to do is kneel with your hands behind your head and not move,” the man continued. “Doesn’t that sound simple?” He asked with feigned happiness. You watched as a couple of terrified customers nodded, easily complying with whatever the men wanted.

“Perfect,” the man grinned sinisterly. He motioned with his rifle to his accomplices as he spoke his next words. “Men on this side and women on that side.” Fear struck you again when you realized you would have to be separated from your friends. You instantly clutched harder onto Jimin. You followed Jimin carefully as he slowly moved to the men side, hoping to not be caught. Seven steps in and you both were stopped by one of the men. 

“Not to be sexist, but I’m pretty sure that’s a lady behind you,” the man said when he noticed the length of your hair. He began to reach behind Jimin to get to you. However, Jimin was not having that. He quickly grabbed the man’s wrist and twisted, earning a yelp from the man. While Jimin was smaller in comparison, you knew he had skills in multiple aspects of martial arts. Jimin tried to knock the guy off his feet but he was outnumbered. Another man approached and Jimin struggled to fight both of them. Just as you were about to pounce on one of them, one of the men quickly smacked Jimin’s head with the butt of his rifle. You shrieked when Jimin fell to the floor with a grunt. You instantly knelt down to check on your friend but you were lifted up by your arms harshly.

“Do I need to teach you a lesson, too?” The man who hit Jimin grumbled and tossed you to the women’s side. You skidded on your hands and knees with a whimper. If it weren’t for wearing jeans, you were sure you would have had a carpet burn, similar to the ones forming on your palms. You tried to turn back to Jimin but were again pushed back down and shoved by a boot toward the other women. After another shove, you obliged and knelt down in the line, raising your arms behind your neck. You slowly peeked at the other side, inwardly sighing with relief when you noticed Jimin was knelt down, still alive and breathing heavily. You prayed he didn’t get a serious head injury from the asshole.

“Now that that’s over, let’s begin,” the main man spoke again. You weren’t sure what he meant by that and felt your body tense when a few men began approaching the women’s line, paper in hand. 

Odd. They weren’t going to the men’s line, but simply standing guard. 

You watched in your peripheral as the men lifted each women’s head up, roughly should you add, and lifted the paper to their face. When a man was unsatisfied, they would release the women’s head and move to the next—repeating the process.

They were looking for someone.

Your heart continued to race as they neared you. You tried to think of who they would be looking for in an arcade of all places. You didn’t recognize any of their faces and you don’t recall any gang making appearances in the news. Who were these people?

You tried to suppress your flinch as you felt a hand harshly gather a section of your hair. The man tugged backward, forcing your face to raise to his as he brought the picture next to your face. His eyes slowly widened as he glanced back and forth from your face to the picture in his hand. You wanted to spit in his face at the smirk he gave you.

“Bingo, fella’s,” he announced and pulled you up by your hair. A whimper left your mouth as he did so, hands quickly flying up to his own. All the men turned to you and watched as he raised the picture up again.

“Excellent,” the main leader said with a smile on his face. “Let’s go.”

Panic settled into your chest within seconds and you were quick to try to get out of his grasp. You didn’t want to go with them anywhere. If you were to die, at least you wanted to die where someone could find you. And of course, you wouldn’t go down without a fight. You didn’t have much experience in that area, but when adrenaline hit, you were fighting as if you were a pro. Okay, so not really. But you knew men’s weak point was between their legs.

You gripped the man’s wrist tightly, using him as balance as you rose a shoe-covered foot straight to his groin. You dug your nails into his skin at the same time, hoping it would add to the pain and he would let go. Thankfully, it worked and you quickly fell to the floor as the man yelped in pain and released his hold. You heard the sounds of people rebelling but you weren’t able to see who they were. 

You dodged another man’s punched and used your momentum to kick the guy in the back of the knee. You needed to get them on your level. Perhaps a gun, too. The man grunted as he fell to one knee. As you were going into your second attack, two men grabbed each of your arms and pulled you up. You kicked at them but to no use. From this angle, you were able to see who had attacked the other men. Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung , Joon, and two other strangers had tried to also take down the goons. However, like you, they were outnumbered. 

A shot rang out in the midst of the fight and you held your breath to see who was shot. Your heart dropped when you saw Taehyung fall to the ground, clutching his leg as blood began to paint his jeans. Screams roared throughout the entire room out of fear at the gunshot. However, Taehyung’s cry could be heard over them all to you. This fueled your fury. You yanked, kicked, and screamed at them to let you go. Of course, it still didn’t help. Their grip on your arms tightened.

“Next one goes to the head,” one of the men yelled at the rebellious men. They all stopped in their tracks. They knew they were outnumbered and out-armed. Your eyes flew to Taehyung as he laid there, hissing out breaths as he tried to stop the bleeding. You were thankful he was only injured in the leg and hoped someone would come to help before he could bleed out.

“Now, let’s go before the spider comes,” the leader huffed and began to walk away. No, no, no.

“Let me go!” You growled and thrashed in the men’s hold.

“Do you ever just shut up?” One of them gruffed. Before you could reply, a wet cloth was shoved onto your mouth and nose. It wasn’t long before your vision blurred and your body grew weak. The last thing you could feel was your body being slammed inside a vehicle.

“You’re much prettier when you’re quiet,” a voice said with a dark chuckle. Your vision was still hazy as you woke. Your throat felt dry and you knew new bruises were already forming on your body. Your head moved slowly, feeling groggy from the chloroform. You went to wipe the drool from your mouth but only were able to tug your arm a few millimeters. 

“Sorry, gorgeous, had to tie you up in case you tried something.” Why did that voice sound familiar?

You blinked several times to try to regain your vision quickly, but it only made you dizzy. 

“Wh-” you tried to speak but was quickly stopped when your throat tightened. You felt your head being tipped back as a cool liquid coated your throat. Water. You drank it quickly.

“All better?” The voice asked and you nodded weakly. You hung your head, eyes closed, as you tried to regain some senses. A few minutes ticked by before you felt your body recovering. Your eyes and mind became clearer and you swiftly took in your surroundings.

You were tied to a chair near the back of a room. It was bright. The room was filled with more light than you had thought. The floor was smooth—shiny even. The scent of cleaning supplies and a hint of… hay? filled your nose. You racked your brain to where you could be, but nothing came. Slowly, you lifted your head. There was no one in front of you. Whoever was here had left. You took the chance to scan the room more.

The room was bare except for a few binders on a shelf against the wall and a couch in the middle of the room. The walls were white and the floor a grey tile. You had never seen such a place. It was designed weirdly and seemed to not be used a lot. You glanced down and saw your feet were also tied to the chair’s legs. You then twisted your neck uncomfortably as you peered at your tied hands behind your back. You sighed as you tried to force your legs free with a strong kick. A sudden tsk’ing echoed in the room and your eyes snapped up. You’d recognize that stupidly handsome face anywhere.

“Hey,” he greeted casually and sat on the couch across from you. Your eyes narrowed at your former date.

“You have got to be shitting me,” you growled. 

Seokjin gave you a soft smile and shook his head. “That’s no way to greet a friend,” he said to which you rolled your eyes.

“A friend wouldn’t kidnap each other and hold them hostage,” you argued, voice hoarse as you pulled against the restraints for emphasis on the hostage part. His lips were quick to dip downwards.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would just behave,” he sighed. He lifted up a cold glass of water and raised his eyebrows at it. “Thirsty?”

Yes.

“No.” 

Seokjin smiled at your stubbornness and stood up. Despite your refusal, he gently poured the liquid down your throat again. You wanted nothing more than to spit it back out into his face, but you knew you needed it so you drank it quickly.

“Why am I here?” You asked when he sat back down again. You watched as he crossed a leg over the other and observed you silently for a moment.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I thought you were beautiful that night,” he commented, ignoring your question. You had no interest in hearing what he had to say, so you repeated your question. He frowned.

“Ever think that the world doesn’t revolve around you, Yn?” He questioned. You quirked an eyebrow up at him. If it didn’t involve me, why was I here? As if he could read your mind, he continued.

“You’re here for… guidance,” he answered. This made you even more confused.

“Guidance? For you? For what?” You scoffed and adjusted your whole body, trying to angle the rope on of the chair’s center pole. Thankfully, the chair had three poles in its design—all with sharp edges. You were never trained to escape from a criminal, but you had seen enough Supernatural episodes. This should work as long as I’m not caught, right? Slowly and as discreetly as you could, you began rubbing the rope you were tied with against the chair’s pole.

“Not for me,” he said with a chuckle. “For Spider-Man.”

You nearly choked at his words. You were sure your eyes were bugged out at this point. “Are you serious?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and nodded. “Of course. Why would I lie?” You could tell by his smirk he meant to be sarcastic. If only he was close enough and your hands weren’t tied. Oh, the things you wanted to do to him. Like strangle him, for one. Spit in his face, for two.

“I’m not connected to Spider-Man,” you laughed dryly. 

Seokjin hummed. “I beg to differ. I don’t think you realize the way he looks at you, Yn,” he replied. You were genuinely confused and appalled by his accusations. You didn’t even speak to him when he saved you from the restaurant. He was just doing his job—saving people.

“I met him once, you know. And it was when we went to that restaurant,” you added with a snort. How ironic. 

“You’re not very observant,” he tsked and checked his watch as if he was bored and waiting for something or someone. The rope around your wrists didn’t seem to be looser and you were doubting your escape skills. Stupid Supernatural. False hope and whatnot. However, you kept going at it.

“What am I not observing?” You asked. Seokjin smiled at the question. His once handsome smile became vile to you. How could such a pretty face be so dangerous?

“He’s in love with you,” he laughed as if he were stating the obvious. “He has and probably will always be.”

Could he be more cryptic? You tiled your head in further confusion. “You’re still talking about Spider-Man, right? Did you not hear when I said I only met him once? He doesn’t know me.”

“No, I’m talking about Ronald McDonald,” he scoffed, making you tighten your hands in a fist. Smartass.

“What do you want with Spider-Man?” You asked then added, “Were you the cause of the explosion at the restaurant?”

He ignored your first question but hummed in reply to your second, smiling. “I’ve been told my acting skills are spectacular.” He fumbled with something inside his pocket, but you couldn’t see what it was. “I had to make sure you were his weakness. He’ll come for you.”

You stared at him as you tried to make sense of anything he was saying. This was ridiculous. Spider-Man saved anyone and everyone. You were nothing special to him. Why would you be his weakness? He’ll come simply because someone was in danger, not because it was you who was in danger.

“Are you jealous Spider-Man is in love with me?” You teased, giving him a false pout. Seokjin narrowed his eyes at you and removed the object from his pockets as he stalked over. You stilled your movements as you looked up at him.

“Like I said,” he said lower than before, which sent chills down your spine. He took the rope that was in his pockets and forced it between your lips, tying it around your head. “You’re prettier when you’re quiet.”

You weren’t sure how long it had been since Seokjin left. You eagerly tried to force the wrist rope to break, but for some reason, you weren’t getting it. You also tried to remove the rope in your mouth. You probably had made the world’s record for most double chins in the process, but you didn’t care. At this point, you thought about chewing your way through it.

Just as you were about to begin nibbling, a loud crash shook the building you were in. Your movements were more frantic this time—trying to break the rope around your wrists. You could slowly feel it break. 

You weren’t sure what was going on, but nothing good ever came from sudden loud noises. You could hear the sounds of grunting, fists hitting skin, and gunshots near you. You heard someone skid across the floor before a thud sounded. It was closer, which had you go hyper-speed on trying to tear the rope. Your movement was stopped when red and blue flashed in front of your eyes. The masked man was roughly thrown against the shelf, knocking over the furniture along with the binders. Some of them fell to where they opened up to random pages, but you couldn’t make out the content. You didn’t have enough time to really try either because the masked fellow was quick on his feet and shooting webs toward his attacker. Seokjin emerged from around the corner, rifle in hand as he took calculated shots at Spider-Man. Spider-Man, however, was quick to doge them—twisting and jumping into the air.

“Now, now, is this any way to greet a guest?” The masked man asked, rather teasingly despite the drastic situation. His voice sounded much different this time. It wasn’t as deep as you remember it to be. Did you remember incorrectly or did he change it somehow?

“You’re such a fucking pest,” Seokjin growled as he switched weapons. It was similar to a boomerang, but its edges were sharp like knives. You watched as the two men continued to battle the other, not even acknowledging your existence. However, you took this opportunity to continue your work with the rope. Almost there.

“Argh,” you hissed when something sharp cut across your shoulder then your opposing cheek. That bastard and his knife-erang. At the unexpected noise, Spider-Man whirled to look in your direction. His white-clad eyes grew when he realized you were here. You were alive.

“Love really does make you weak,” Seokjin chuckled as he took the opportunity to attack. Jungkook groaned and stumbled back when the knife-like object cut across his chest. It tore through the suit and left a line of red on his skin. A little cut? He’s had worse. Though, before he could fight back, he suddenly collapsed to his knees as a sharp pain shot through his body. His body twitched with the pain. He reached for the two fangs that were injected into him and sending electrifying shocks. He gasped for breath after he successfully removed them. He could feel his body already beginning to heal. He jumped to his feet, arm extended to fire a web but stopped when he saw where Seokjin was.

He pressed the edge of his rifle to the back of your head, a snarl on his lips. “See, gorgeous? I told you he’d come for you. You would guide him here,” Seokjin said behind you, giving your head a small nudge with his rifle.

Jungkook stood frozen at the scene. He was struck with disbelief, anger, and worry. You seemed to be okay, other than the more bruises and two cuts to your body. They didn’t seem deep, which was good.

“You got me,” Spider-Man announced cautiously. “Let her go.”

“Ahhh, there’s the line!” Seokjin said with mock excitement. “Don’t you just love it when they say that line? Let her go,” he mimicked dramatically. Jungkook moved to shoot a web, but Seokjin caught the small move and tsked, shoving your head rougher. While his focus was on Spider-Man, you continued your wrist movements.

“That’s not nice of you, Spider-Man,” Seokjin said before he ripped off the rope from your mouth. “Now, tell our guest to sit, gorgeous.” When you didn’t do as he said, he sliced your arm with his boomerang. He was growing impatient.

“Sit,” you hissed as soon as he cut you, feeling the blood slowly trickle from its wound. This one was deeper. The masked figure was quick to obey, which only made Seokjin chuckle.

“Now before things go any further, how about some counseling?” Jin asked and you rolled your eyes. Seokjin didn’t notice since he was only focused on the man on the couch.

“Really?” You scoffed. You weren’t expecting him to add another cut to your body at your reply. You realized he was being rougher on you now than before. Was it because Spider-Man was here? Was he trying to show his macho-man side? Or was he just showing his true self and the side you saw before was fake? It didn’t matter. He was still an asshole.

“Do I need to shut you up again?” Seokjin questioned. He was pleased when you didn’t answer. “Good. Now, tell him to take off his mask.”

You hesitated. Sure, you were eager to find out who was under the mask, but this was definitely an invasion of privacy. If this so-called Spider-Man wanted his true identity to be revealed to the world, he would’ve done so already. You heard Seokjin shuffle and you spoke quickly before he could do any more harm to you.

“Take off your mask.”

Jungkook kept his composure better than if you were to ask him this in any other scenario. It was awfully ironic, he thought, that although he kept his identity a secret from you, someone still found a way to torture you to get him to show up. He didn’t want to see you hurt again so he steadily brought his hand up, gathering the bottom of the mask to pull it up. You watched silently as his skin was slowly revealed. The man’s skin seemed to be like honey. Just as the mask was about to reveal his lips, the rope around your wrists broke free.

Without hesitation, you quickly reached back and pushed the rifle upward and away from pointing at your head. However, as you did so, you caught the tiniest glimpse of what may have been a mole under the masked man’s bottom lip before he quickly shoved the mask down again. You didn’t know anyone with a mole in that location except for…

“You bitch,” Seokjin roared and fired a shot, sending a bullet to the ceiling above you. Spider-Man was quick to react, shooting a web at the rifle and yanking it out of both yours and Seokjin’s hands. Spider-Man quickly unloaded the gun and fired a web toward the boomerang that was nearing your neck. With a rough tug, the weapon was freed from Jin’s grip. You hurriedly untied your ankles from the wooden chair. As you were about to run, Seokjin gripped you by your hair and yanked you back against him. 

His arm snaked around your neck in a chokehold. Quickly, you lowered your chin to block him from crushing your windpipe. Seokjin was definitely bigger than you, but that didn’t mean you were defenseless. You lowered yourself in a squat-like position and with all your might, threw your body forward. Seokjin was unexpectedly pulled from his stance on the floor and heaved over you. However, he weighed more than you, and instead of going directly in front of you, he tipped over, causing you both to stumble to the floor. You landed with a thud and Seokjin groaning under you. You didn’t realize you nailed him in the balls on the way down, but hey, you’ll take the win. 

You scrambled from his grasp quickly, kicking him in the groin again for good measures. Spider-Man gently moved you aside and shot down webs to trap him to the floor. While he was ensuring Seokjin was down, you moved to look at the opened binders. Although it could be nothing, something about them intrigued you.

“Is this the time you claim you would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for these meddling kids?” Spider-Man teased the webbed-up Jin. You weren’t paying attention to their interaction as you picked up one of the open binders slowly. You flipped it over so it was up-right and slowly flipped through its pages. There were pictures of your face from different moments of your life for the past few weeks. They were stalking you. You flipped more and nearly dropped the book. There, staring downward with his doe-like eyes in an alley was Jungkook. It was dark, but unmistakably Jungkook. His hair was wet against his head, lips pursed together to reveal the mole underneath his bottom lip. You peered closer and located the mole on his right cheek. Definitely Jungkook. Though it wasn’t just any Jungkook. No, this one had the famous red and blue suit on. You glanced up at Spider-Man, who was still teasing Seokjin. You finally took in the masked figure body portions. He was built similar to Jungkook’s and that voice… The mole… The honey skin…

You quickly slid the photo out of the binder, tucking it into your pocket, and closed the binder on the floor. The police suddenly swarmed the room, guns pointing around the room to which you put your hands up. They ignored you and automatically went to Seokjin. 

“Let’s get out of here, shall we?” A sudden voice whispered in your ear, causing you to jump. Although you couldn’t see his smile, you bet there was a bunny-esque one hiding beneath the mask.

While swinging through the air looks cool, it was not.

You nearly threw up three times, making Spider-Man stop for rest each time so you didn’t hurl on innocent Seoul residents below. Heights didn’t terrify you, but they also weren’t your best friend, either. You guessed the height combined with everything that happened, made you sick. He had lowered himself so he wasn’t so high up, but it didn’t do much to ease your stomach.

He left you at the hospital at his demands. While you felt overall okay, he still insisted you get checked on. After arguing for a few minutes, you caved. You realized that Taehyung may be at this hospital, too, and you needed to check on him.

Luckily, your intuitions were right.

“You know how much I love you, right?” You spoke honestly as you stared down at your dark-haired friend. He smiled at you and held your hand tightly.

“I love you, too,” Taehyung replied. You smiled brightly at him, pecking his cheek affectionately. You learned the goons had left after they took you hostage. Yoongi had already called the police, but they took longer since they were at another crime scene at the time. This city truly needed more officers. Fortunately, the gunshot went through cleanly. He should return back to normal without any hiccups. That is, as long as he allows his wound to heal properly.

After hearing your rival, Jimin, Joon, and Yoongi came to stop by the hospital. It turns out Jimin was fine, besides his ego. You assured him that he could’ve taken all them out if they didn’t have guns. He didn’t completely agree, but it did ease him slightly. Although you were eager to get home, you were forced to stay in the hospital for at least a day in case you had any hidden injuries. Your parents came to visit you, terrified at the news, but forever grateful that you were still alive. 

You stared down at the photo in your hands as you sat on your bed. Jungkook. Spider-Man. Jungkook. As Spider-Man. Spider-Kook? Kook-Spider? Kook-Man? Jung-Man? You rolled your eyes at your thoughts.

It all made sense, though—the excuses, the abrupt absences, the lying. He would always leave to save someone. You laughed lamely and frowned. You never really thought how he might feel in all this. It couldn’t have been easy. At the thought, your heart tightened and you suddenly missed him more than usual. You didn’t want to reveal that you knew his hidden identity unless you felt like he wanted to; however, if you didn’t he would still lie to you. You wanted him to feel comfortable opening up to you. He trusted me, didn’t he?

Although you would no longer be upset at his excuses or absences, you wondered how this affected Jungkook. He rarely ever lied prior to becoming Spider-Man, so you truly wondered how he was coping. Sighing, you cursed to yourself. You should’ve thought of his feelings more.

Jungkook sat on the rooftop of his apartment building, feet dangling off the edge. The cool breeze seeped through the holes in his black, ripped jeans. It was a comfortable chill that he welcomed.

“Did you really have to tease the guy for five minutes straight, though?” Tony questioned as he stood next to the younger one.

“What else was I supposed to do for five minutes? He deserved it,” Jungkook mumbled. Tony laughed and gave the kid a pat on the head.

“I’m glad you’re safe—both of you,” he said, referring to you. Jungkook peered up at his mentor.

“Yeah?” He questioned. He was nervous he had disappointed Tony and wanted to hear some comforting words from his mentor. Tony’s lips formed his signature smile.

“Yeah. You did good, kid,” he teased to which Jungkook rolled his eyes playfully. Silence loomed over them. Jungkook messed with the frayed fabric of his jeans as he thought of a question.

“What would you do if I told Yn the truth?” Jungkook asked quietly. He heard Tony let out a sigh. He didn’t reply for a minute, which made Jungkook turn in worry.

“You know I’m against you doing that,” he said and Jungkook opened his mouth to reply, but Tony held up a finger. “But, I understand why you feel like you need to.”

“Really? You wouldn’t like, kill me, right?” Jungkook questioned nervously. 

“Why would I kill you?” Tony scoffed.

“No reason,” Jungkook replied.

“Just remember—the more people that know, the more danger you put on them and yourself,” Tony warned. Jungkook nodded, eager to visit you. He needed to get this off his chest. He needed you to know so you could trust him again. Although you may want him as your boyfriend, Jungkook needed you in his life in some way.

“Got it, boss,” Jungkook replied quickly. “I’ll talk to you later,” he said then quickly jumped off the side of the building. Tony couldn’t stop the playfully eye-roll when he heard a loud shout of excitement from the swinging man in the distance.

You weren’t surprised to find Jungkook at your window rather than your door. 

“How are you feeling? I- I heard you were in a pretty dangerous situation,” he said, trying to act nonchalant after sliding into your room. You hid your smile at his poor acting.

“Yeah, I’m doing fine. How are things with you?” You questioned, interested in his excuse this time. However, it was out of entertainment than spite.

“Just busy with school work, you know?” He said and slowly took a seat in your chair when you motioned him to sit. His face was slightly flushed and his hair tousled. It seemed like he had just come from running a mile, but you knew better. He probably swung here. You wanted to run your hands through his dark locks.

“I met that spedicey dude,” you changed subjects. You noticed the way he grimaced at the name. 

“I think it’s Spider-Man, actually,” he corrected cautiously. You hummed in reply, trying to suppress your laugh. He was adorable with those big eyes of his. You really missed him. 

“Well, he was alright,” you shrugged. He stared at you closely as you spoke. 

“Just alright?” He questioned. You nodded. 

“He helped a little, but in the end, it was me who caught the guy,” you said dramatically. You should feel bad for teasing him, but you couldn’t help it. His face was hands down one of the cutest on planet Earth. 

“T-that’s good,” he stammered then quickly continued as if ripping off a band-aid. “I actually need to tell you something… About Spider-Man.” You perked up at his. You figured you would eventually call him out in the future when he never did it himself. You weren’t expecting him to reveal his second life so suddenly. Especially not willingly.

“I’m-”

“Spider-Man”

“Spider-Kook”

You both spoke in unison. 

“Yes, wait no, wait what?” Jungkook stuttered, eyes growing wider and eyebrows raised to the sky. His lips were parted slightly as he stared at you, completely perplexed. 

You giggled at his expression. “Did you not like the name?” Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. 

“You knew?” He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back in your chair. You gave him a sheepish smile. 

“Are you mad?” You questioned and fidgeted with the blanket under you. You didn’t know what to expect, but you didn’t expect him to be so… grumpy?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He questioned back. His gaze grew intense as he never left your face. 

“I figured you would like to tell me yourself,” you answered with a small shrug. He stayed silent for a while before rising to his feet. You looked up when you heard him move in front of you. Two steps as usual. 

“I’m not mad,” he assured and he slowly lowered himself so he wasn’t towering over you. “I’m just stunned. I- I didn’t think you knew. Are you mad that I didn’t tell you sooner?”

“A little,” you replied honestly. It would explain a lot of what went wrong in your relationship. “But I understand why you did it.”

“You do?” He asked skeptically. You nodded and gave him a smile to assure him.

“I found out from this,” you added and pulled out the photo from your nightstand. “It was in one of the binders.”

He took the picture from your hand and examined it quickly. You watched his face silently and quickly was flooded with guilt. 

“Thank you, by the way, for saving me from that restaurant. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough,” you began and Jungkook snapped his eyes to yours, puzzled. “I’m sorry I never considered what you were going through.”

“Jagiya, baby,” he spoke softly and took your hands in his large ones. He understood what you were beginning to say. You stared down at his bruised knuckles. You missed when he called you those names. “I would’ve felt the same if the roles were reversed. I should’ve been honest sooner, but I was trying to protect you. I was told that knowing my identity is dangerous, but it turns out not knowing is dangerous, too.”

You watched as the dark-haired man gave you a small, sad smile. Your eyes fell on the exposed mole and you reached out to touch it. He chuckled softly at your action but didn’t stop you. “You could be in even more danger now,” he added. You nodded in understanding. 

“I know,” you acknowledged. “But I can’t lose you again. It’s worth it to be with you.” It was his turn to nod at your words. Your hand brushed some of his hair from his eyes so you could see them properly. After a few silent moments, Jungkook slowly leaned over you, trapping your body between his strong arms. 

“So,” he started. His voice was low, eyes darkening with lust as he continued to ascend your bed. You followed his movements and moved so you both were in the middle rather than the edge. Your body was heating at the sudden change in atmosphere. You gently placed your hands against his taut chest as he lowered his body more until you were fully laid down, one of his knees wedged between your legs. A corner of his lips quirked up in a teasing smirk. 

 “You kept a picture of me inside your bedside table?”

A/N: Ta-da! I just want to say one thing... KIM SEOKJIN I LOVE YOU MY BBY I’M SORRY IT WAS JUST FOR THE PLOT YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL, PURE, INNOCENT MAN WHO I LOVE AND I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER BE THIS CRUEL. YOU ARE NOT EVIL <3333 I LOVE YOU JINNIE! 

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY. Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[cooloddball]

This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves. 

Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.

I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans. 

Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.

And so it begins...

Opening ceremony

The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky. 

Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.

Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!

Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.

Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?

Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?

Cockles Panel

Jensen is so extra in this panel.

First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish.  I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.

When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen]  laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.

Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)

I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.

Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward 

There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.

Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?

Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.

Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.

It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.

They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?

The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.

Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses”  I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]

A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.

The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.

Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?

The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show 

Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.

When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen.  The tension is simmering down.

A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.

They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet

 It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.

Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.

Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.

Misha moves closer to listen to the song.  I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean

 Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”

He looks so proud of him.  I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.

Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song.  Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)

we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.

The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.

Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”

How many years did they call you holly?

For six to seven years

Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?

Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.

When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.

Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has” 

Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.

A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting.  Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.

Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.

They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.

 Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?

They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much. 

Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome. 

 “I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.

The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?

Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.

The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL

The way Misha is sitting is he you know.

Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.

Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.

Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a  lot and it made me feel validated somehow.

Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt.  He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.

They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.

OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.

He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.

Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.

They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)

Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.

 Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.

Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.

 They are still laughing. Jack, help them.

The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.

 Misha laughed so hard he cried.

Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.

Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?

 Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)

Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress

Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.

Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.

Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?

 Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.

Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.

Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.

 I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.

Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)

Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.

Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)

They mention acting on camera again.

And laugh 

Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing  He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring  and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back  unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed  Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.

 Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set. 

Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.

 I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?

Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.

Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for  Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.

The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.

when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.

The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.

How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home

Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”

Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.

The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.

Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*

Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?

Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are  incoherent.

Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.

The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.

Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)

Jensen wiggling his nose.

When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.

Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.

Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.

They named the plushie Zippy aww :))

For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the  résumé was the highlight of the panel.

Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.

He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.

It’s over guys.

Closing Ceremony

I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.

Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.

The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.

Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.

Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.

Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.

As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him

Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).

Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.

Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.

Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married”  dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.

He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.

 I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?

And it’s over people.

Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.

The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them. 

@littlewolf2703