#jeremy delle

[morbidology]

Jeremy Delle was a 15-year-old sophomore who had just recently transferred to a new school. On 8 January, 1991 he came to school with a .357 Magnum. His friends in school had described him as “acting sad” this day.

He had arrived to school late that day and was told by his teacher to go and receive an attendance slip from the office. Instead of getting an attendance slip, he went to his locker and retrieved his gun.

During his second period English class, he stood up, walked to the front of the classroom, and informed the teacher: “Miss, I got what I really went for,“ before putting the gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. This tragedy inspired the Pearl Jam song, "Jeremy.”

One of his suicide notes:

“To whoever I decide this is to, I have a lot going on, a little too much more than what I can handle I’m in too much pain, and I just want YOU to understand why I’m doing this, I don’t hate myself I hate what’s going on in my life my parents, a new school I feel like I don’t fit in nowhere. I realize that there will be friends that will try to ask me why because I feel like I have to, I feel it’s the only way. I rather end my own life than others and that’s what its gonna come down to so I’m taking the shame out of myself. Thanks to the only people that was ever good to me, the people that was there for me. I figure it’s been so many ya’ll wont even know I’m gone and as for ones that tried to hurt me you didn’t. I know Barnett is gonna ask me to go get a pass but I ain’t getting that damn pass I’m getting the gun and the next time you see me I’m going to blow my fucking brains out. I want my blood to shed on everybody, I want everybody to feel my pain and seeing me die will make them in pain. To my dad shit what kind of shit is that, and my mom, I’m not going to waste my breath well goodbye see all in better days”

[dahliaduvide]

I've been digging into the life of Jeremy Wade Delle, beyond just the day of his death that is immortalized in the Pearl Jam song we all know so well.

One thing Jeremy Delle and I have in common is that we both spent time in a psych hospital in our teenage years. We both ended up in adolescent wards of large chain hospitals. My experience wasn't completely negative, but I don't think it helped anyone but my mother.

Jeremy Delle was hospitalized in April of 1990 after what is believed to have been his first suicide attempt.

His parents put him in Timberlawn Psychiatric Hospital where he started seeing a doctor that continued to treat him until his death by suicide on January 8, 1991. He actually had completed a session with his doctor the afternoon before he died.

The redacted police report gives only a small amount of information about the doctor that Jeremy Delle was seeing. His name is given as Dr. Bob H####, and as Dr. Robert H#### on a card that the police found in Mr. Delle's wallet. This card lists two phone numbers for the doctor. The first if the general number for the Timberlawn facility, but the other number is likely a direct line to the doctor's office.

The information given in the July 1990 list of hospitals printed in D Magazine, a local Dallas publication, about Timberlawn is "4600 Samuell Blvd, Dallas. 381-7181. Psychiatric hospital; 232 beds; offers chemical dependency treatment, occupational therapy, and psychiatric unit". That's the same as the first phone number listed on the card on Jeremy Delle's wallet card. The second is 381-6327.

Without a last name, I couldn't search for any other mentions of the doctor in public records (and I didn't find anything relevant using the phone number), but there were certainly a few articles about Timberlawn. More than a few, I had to winnow them down to the ones that seemed most relevant to what Jeremy Delle might have experienced during his stay there.

This article from June 1990 explains the sudden growth in the industry in Texas. The financial motivations behind it have very distinct consequences that the article outlines: patients rarely stay longer than their insurance foots the bill.

When the money runs out everyone- adult, teenager, addict, seems to be miraculously cured.

There are several claims of misconduct by care providers throughout the time surrounding Jeremy Delle's stay at Timberlawn.

May 1988: A Dallas woman is admitted to the substance abuse program at Timberlawn. In February 1996, when she is in her early 30s, she alleges misconduct by her doctor during her stay at Timberlawn.

May 1991: In March 1993, a patient alleges he was pursued by his doctor after seeking treatment at Timberlawn for depression after the end of his marriage. He also alleges that she initiated an inappropriate romantic and sexual relationship which lasted from November 1991 to February 1992.

Obviously, Mr. Delle would have been, or at least should have been, housed in separate adolescent areas from any adult patients, but he might have seen the same doctors. Particularly because he was treated for substance abuse. I have some doubts about whether he was actually using any drugs or not, but I'll put that together in another post with some supporting documents.

I also found these court documents from 2009 relating to a patient that was hospitalized in the Timberlawn facility as a minor. She claims to have been raped by an older male patient due to inadequate supervision of the patients by staff and a lack of private space available to patients. No dates or ages are given, however, so it's impossible to know if this happened within the early 90s. However, if Jeremy Delle had survived until 2009 he would have been in his mid-20s, which is when childhood traumas begin to be understood by a maturing mind.

I'm not a lawyer and couldn't even pretend to be one on the internet, so I won't claim to understand anything about what is happening, but I can read through it and capture other facts about who, where, when, etc. If anybody with a better understanding of USA or Texas state law wants to shed some light on this that would be helpful.

I wasn't able to find any further information about the progress or outcomes of these cases, so I've chosen not to include the names of the staff accused, but they are included in the media coverage if anyone would like to search through news databases that aren't freely available online. I can only research the documents I can find, and unfortunately I don't have access to any academic databases at the moment, either.

My personal opinion is that whatever started Jeremy Delle down a troubled path started before he got to Timberlawn and the care of Dr. H.

I do think this line of research is important for understanding whether or not Mr. Delle received effective or adequate care as his mental illness spiraled out of control.

It strikes me that these stories about Timberlawn confirm and debunk some of the conceptions we have about this particular young man's life from the song written about him in 1991 by Eddie Vedder and Jason Ament. Jeremy Wade Delle was failed by everyone in his life with the power to help him as he started to sink under the waves of his illness. But his parents didn't ignore it completely, they tried to get him help. Maybe not when his illness first manifested, but as soon as his first 'cry for help' came in the form of a suicide attempt, they put him in a hospital that was known to be the best in their area. One with a developing, supposedly cutting edge, program for adolescents and those suffering from substance abuse. They most likely brought him home when the hospital said he was better. Sadly that might have had more to do with how long the hospital knew that insurance would foot the bill and not Mr. Delle's actual mental health.

The story is no less tragic than the story Pearl Jam spins in their song, but it's far more nuanced.

And it's still a great song.

[doodlydoodlies]

Image: King's Bling from Steam Community Workshop

[dandyseedlings]

played tf2 for the first time recently. i was real bad at it but it was still pretty fun :]

[icedcoolatta]

wut

[goblin-enjoyer]

It's finally out folks. A merry Smissmass miracle

The 7th and final Team Fortress comic has dropped. It's on the blog and the comic page. (Remember those?). I have only two words to say here after reading it: It's Good. It's time to spread the word to those who have been slumbering for too long. Makes me feel like Scrooge at the end of The Christmas Carol. (spoilers for that book/movies) Makes me want to finally make a video of my Last Smissmas song parody to really get into the spirit. With this and Lower Decks ending, as much as I hate to say these things are the cause, I am feeling the urge-no the MOTIVATION to finally start doing those things that i've been either too scared/nervous or tired to do.

Merry Smissmas.

-The former Dr. Smissmas/The Mining Mew/The Crab

[eagledrawsandvibes]

Did a redraw of the iconic poses of the TF2 mercs but in my own designs and style!

This took me way too long honestly, I’m not used to drawing this many characters in one drawing.

So please reblog y’all, this took me hours.

[fatgumsurpremacy-remastered]

How would the mercs react to their s/o trying to write them a love poem?

:)

Ok, I'm not good at all with sappy stuff but let me give it a try. @blubushie (for mention of sniper. go crazy buddy.)

Demo: Demo is very emotionally backed up so it would take him a good long while for him to actually understand the deeper meaning of the poem. But when he does he wont really know how to react. He'd sort of stand around and wait for his S/O to ask him about it again so he could give them praises while he hugs them. If the opportunity doesn't arrive he'd probably try and write one back (badly) so they can bring it up.

Engie: Engie would start a little war between him and his partner. Its a gesture game baby and this man is king of subtlety. Though for love he's a bit of a show off. The more heated this fluffy little competition gets the more he amps it up. He's likely gonna try and show off with an invention or a song that'll knock the socks off of his S/O. Then he'd feel accomplished enough to lie down with 'em and whisper just how much all that stuff meant.

Heavy: Heavy is very poetic himself, though its a lot harder for him to explain it in English. Theres a lot of metaphor in his work he would have to explain to his S/O and thats easier said than done. He's very much a show don't tell sort of guy so why would he be any different in delivery. If they speak Russian rest assured that letter will return every bit of love reflected at him.

Medic: Oh boy Lutz would tease them so hard, he's so mean but he loves them very much. He's not at all used to this fluffy stuff and would scoff if anyone else did it. But with them? Of course he loves the goofy prose and obvious infatuation they have with him, how could he not? He loves every bit of the attention and will make sure to prove it by being plenty affectionate throughout the week.

Pyro: Pyro almost goes too far in excitement, theres likely a chance that Pyro just saw the Letter P followed by a heart in their bedroom and just about pranced with glee. Pyro is the type to parade their partner around proudly showing off how much they love each other. This ends up with half finished love poems strung around the room that the two encourage each other to finish.

Scout: Scout is an absolute dweeb but he'd try to play it cool by insisting that it was only expected of him to get 'fanmail'. Truth be told though Scout would melt into the floor from a kiss to the cheek by someone who he can actually call his partner. So this gesture is returned the very next day by a goddamn tsunami of gifts at their house.

Sniper: Sniper doesn't know how to react to this at all? He isn't sure why its necessary, and its hard for him to understand, but its the thought that counts. He's conflicted for a while about why exactly they'd want to tell him how they feel in writing. He's ultimately very confused but he keeps it pinned to the inside of his vest or tucked neatly into one of his pockets to keep their words on him. (He's grown on me thanks to someone I know.)

Soldier: Soldier doesn't get it but he's a big enough doofus to love it anyway. He seems like the type of guy who only ever really got valentines cards for parties. So if his S/O wrote him something he'f for sure cherish it. Even if he didn't fully understand the point or its meanings. He's a lot like Drax from Gardians of the Galaxy.

Spy: Very bold of his S/O to assume he's going to be the only one receiving love letters. Its very likely Spy knew very well before hand that they were going to be making him one so he thought ahead and got them presents and a letter of his own to be prepared. This cheeky and clever asshole!

[tf2fanithinkso]

Emesis Blue photo from 4 in the morning (the caption on the bottom says: Damn bro I’m cooking at 4 am 😨)

[waterfall7290]

NEW JEREMY DELLE MEMORIAL WEBSITE: Bluebonnets for Jeremy Delle (2024)

I am SO pleased to announce my new memorial website about Jeremy WADE Delle is OFFICIALLY ONLINE!!! 💐💐💐

You can check it out here: Bluebonnets for Jeremy Delle

It features my most serious and in-depth articles, all the art I could find about Jeremy, resources and other bits!

From now on, I will post on both the website and my Tumblr blog, but I will use Tumblr to post updates and more personal/off-topic statuses.

I've worked very hard on this, I hope y'all (whoever is 'y'all' supposed to be) like it! 😊 There's even a comment section powered by Disquis (the same commenting system used by jeremywadedelle.com) where you can leave your comments and feedback.

Have a wonderful day! ❤️

Waterfall

ABOUT THIS BLOG

[daily-tf2dles]

day 7! my friend said beach episode so i complied. didnt manage to get all the mercs done tonight but im happy with the ones i did finish :)

also i know scout looks more finished in comparison to the other 3. i had to redraw him cuz the og sketch did NOT look like scout. and i only finished it like 5 mins ago so obviously i was not drawing an entire new scout.

[doodlydoodlies]

Image: Thinking With Portals from Steam Community Workshop

[just-mebs]

Welcome Back

AHH I figured I should post this since I hardly make SFMs anymore as it it. A little OC thing because I wanted the main 5 (+ 1) for my Penitent Father AU to be all together. I won't lie this makes them look WAY more dramatic than they should be allowed to look but they deserve it sometimes (only sometimes though).

[attakkreload]

thinking about pearl jams song “Jeremy” which takes inspiration from Jeremy Wade Delle, a 15-year old from texas who shot himself in front of his second period english teacher in 1991

cal wears a pearl jam shirt in some scenes throughout the movie and i feel like it could correspond

[demilypyro]

Canonical TF2 names:

Scout: Jeremy Willis

Soldier: Jane Doe

Pyro: unknown

Demo: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Heavy: Mikhael (often goes by Misha), last name unknown

Engineer: Dell Conagher

Sniper: Mr. Mundy (first name possibly Mick, unconfirmed)

Medic: Herbert Ludwig

Spy: unknown

Miss Pauling: Flo Pauling

The Administrator: unknown (several fake names, all confirmed false)

[a-lost-crow]

Jeremy Willis vs Flo Pauling vs Tavish Finnegan DeGroot vs Dell Conagher vs Mick Mundy vs Jane Doe

Whoever wins the "Best full legal government name" contest has to legalize gay marriage