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toinfinitywinning · 11 months ago

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this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

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venusenvvvy · 2 years ago

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FOREWARD

Introduction:

If you’re reading this, you either A) came across my fan-fiction on AO3 and are mildly curious about what you’ve just stumbled across, or B) you followed me a few years ago and forgot about it, and now this post is on your dashboard and you have zero idea who I am or what’s going on.

If you belong to group B and would like an inkling of context, feel free to check out Burning Houses now. It’s probably the most out there Harry Potter fanfiction concept you’ve seen in a while.

The Tragic Backstory:

In September of 2020 I was 17, and I had spent the past three years alone, in a walk in closet that had been repurposed to be by bedroom. I won’t get into the specifics of why. I spent my days and nights laying in bed and alternating between daydreaming and reading, until that’s what my life became.

Up until then I had posted a few short stories - things I had written quickly in the middle of the night and never expected to get much attention. The only thing extraordinary about me in my every day life was how utterly invisible I could become.

By the time September of 2020 rolled around I had been reading Harry Potter fan-fiction for years - this was before the explosion of the Marauders fandom, with the posting of ATYD, and then subsequently the resurgence of Harry Potter with Tiktok edits and the media attention garnered by JK Rowling - and the place was a graveyard. It was comforting, in a way. Just me, rooting through old tropes and ideas. My favourites were time travel stories that found Harry older, wiser and more powerful. Or the ones where everyone found out how the Dursleys had been treating Harry and, horrified, saved him from his barren, locked bedroom with the bars on the window, giving the Dursleys’ a piece of their mind the entire time.

Yes. I’m aware of the parallels.

The problem with dead fandoms is that you run out of content. So I started writing a story - just for me - about this daydream I had been having for the past several weeks. I wrote it in the notes app of my phone every night laying in bed until four in the morning, and then I woke up in the afternoon to start again.

Then, due to circumstances outside of my control, my phone was destroyed, and I lost 100,000 words of content and months of work. It was like losing a diary - the story was how I channeled my thoughts, how I expressed my feelings, wrestled with philosophies and debated by beliefs.

But there was one thing that survived - the first chapter. I wanted to make sure I could always read it no matter what, so I posted it publicly - stapled it to the wall of an empty room - and tried to rebuild what I’d lost.

And then people read it.

Three Years Later:

People read it, and liked it. They saw this thing that represented me and they liked it, and they wanted to know when there was going to be more. So I panicked, and I wrote another chapter and posted it. And then after months of people asking me when there was going to be more I posted >another< chapter.

But it didn’t feel right. It felt like strangers reading my diary. What had started as a (arguably unhealthy) coping mechanism for dealing with a reality I couldn’t face had become a silly little story for my readers, and I was beginning to feel embarrassed that I was taking it so seriously. That it was more for me than a story that I had made up, about these books with dull characters and a plot so tedious that I couldn’t make it through reading. This series that was beginning to draw more and more criticism as time went on, and JK Rowling continued to dig the franchises grave deeper and deeper.

Three years later has found me at 20 years old, a better writer, with a lot about my life having changed. I don’t need to read those fan-fictions plots to escape anymore, or daydream about going back in time, or being someone else - I saved myself in a very real, tangible way. I came out as trans and fought to be myself. I’m writing this essay from my own apartment with all the space I want. I attend regular therapy, and own a beautiful puppy service dog named Sirius. I go hiking and to parties, and I sleep at night then I go to work in the morning. I live in a world outside of my own head, surrounded by this beautiful life that I’ve built for myself from nothing.

So Why Start Over?

There’s a lot of reasons. I want to rewrite this story because I’ve gained more experience in life. Because I want to start again, this time without being embarrassed of how much this story means to me, or how long it’s taking me to finish, or being ashamed of taking it this seriously at all.

I want to challenge the idea of fan-fiction as being silly, or unoriginal, or illegitimate - something that needs to be hidden, or kept as a stepping stone before writing “real” novels. I want to be writing this story for the explicitly, publicly stated purpose of it being art on its own, because I have things to say that I want to express specifically through this artistic medium.

I wanted you to know more about me - the stranger behind the words, the man behind the curtain - what this story was really about for me, and where it came from. And now you do.

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redeliminator · 6 months ago

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WAIT I DINT GET IT. The reactions under “this drawing in the context of zero day” what would that be referring to. why is everyone going “im deleting this app” im lost 😿💔

it doesn't really fit any actual scene in the movie but I think we are all collectively projecting our own headcanons onto this art. my first thought when I saw it was that it's Andre sitting in his car on May 1st (ignore the weather), in the school parking lot, as they were supposed to, but he's alone. maybe Cal somehow backed out at the last second, either killed himself or just backed out of zero day asking andre to never mention it again (doesn't sound realistic but they're crazy, who tf knows) and all he left him was a note.

so yeah, it's just my imagination lmao

#zero day #zero day 2003

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inkystaarart · 2 years ago

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the lineups of my daydreamer au aka my highschool au i drew while watching yhs

these are just the sketches of the first few profiles i had written in my notes. i did a few sketches like 2 months ago basically introducing the sibling pairs but i’ll explain the characters drawn here better.

keep in mind these are all pretty much headcannons. i built this kind of like TommyInnit Changed the Chat to GENDER SMP

(this is a very long post)

Grian Xequla Dreamslayer

he/they/star/chirp pronouns

bisexual (i might change this later?)

student council. basically boatem and a few others are on the student council with mumbo as president (at first)

avian/watcher. he has an improved eyesight and he can occasionally see through walls.

flock: mumbo, scar, pearl, etho, timmy, martyn, big b, and joel (joel is not official yet)

orchetra kid. he plays the viola.

Pearl Moon Dreamslayer

she/void/star

queer

student council

dating gem.

avian/watcher. can see through walls some days. or see people’s skulls. it’s funny. sometime she just says “you have a nice skull” to someone without context and scars them for life. (basically context for that one obscure pearl post i made a few months ago)

genderfae!

flock: grian, gem, impulse, jimmy, martyn, big b

Jimmy Solidarity Dreamslayer

he/it/feather

bisexual

he’s an avian/watcher. although he got mostly avian genes. sometimes he has improved eyesight but usually he doesn’t. depends on the day. he’s the least watcher out of all of them.

flock, pearl, grian, joel (not official), scott, martyn, big b

on the school’s swim team. based on empires s1 since he was a cod boy? idk i didn’t watch that season from his pov

he looks up to grian. i actually can’t mention a lot of what i put in this paragraph on my notes app because it reveals a shit ton about grian’s backstory and i’d rather hurt you on ao3 in a few months. if you do read.

Mumbo K. Jumbo

he/it/gear/zero

unlabeled

student council president! he was sick when everyone voted for president so he was president

etho’s twin.

likes to study end crystals!

Etho Slab Jumbo

they/echo/daze

aceflux

mumbo’s twin

really good friends with grian because i love their dynamic. mumbo sometimes gets jealous

dated joel in middle school

orchestra kid. he plays the cello

in the sparring club at school. practically the best sparring person there.

Scar Goodtimes Smajor

he/it/meow/fizz

omnisexual

student council. he’s in charge of designing school merch

fey

scott and scar are irish twins. they’re in different school years for story purposes.

favorite sport is archery. if you know you know

orchestra kid. plays the violin.

Scott Chromia Smajor

he/color/lucid/ve

gay

does not have a favorite color. loves them all equally.

collects crystals

Bdubs Smajor

he/moss/thorn

questioning. or unlabeled queer.

clings to etho and cleo a lot. calls them dad and mom.

Fail Whip “Fwhip” Tay

he/it/gold

demisexual

he’s adopted into gem’s family. and also random headcannon: gem and fwhip have two moms. they’re cool like that.

Gemini “Gem” Tay

she/they/daisy/thorn

bisexual

dating pearl

band kid. plays the trombone.

False Symmetry Shadow

she/they/it/wing

pansexual, polyamorous

dating cleo and stress

in the sparring club at school. wins a lot. except against etho.

shapeshifter. she can change what hybrid or species she appears as, just not her physical humanoid details (if that makes sense) she usually appears as an avian but without the wings.

Lizzie Shadow

she/xe/meow

bisexual

dating joel

shapeshifter. she switches between a fish lady (for when she swims) and a cat hybrid. someday i’ll better explain how the shadow family’s shape shifting powers work

joel acts tough and like he can protect her but lizzie defends him in fights and everyone is scared of lizzie but not joel because joel is short

dyed her hair pink. joel helped her and then lizzie convinced him to do a green streak in his hair

on the school swim team

orchestra kid. plays either the bass or the viola. depends.

Tango Tek Shadow

he/ve/sun

polysexual

most of my notes on him are for his future relationship

shapeshifter. takes the form of a demon/netherborn

Impulse SV Daemonium

he/they/demon

gay

skizz’ twin

skizz calls him piss demon because his horns, the tips of his ears, and his tail are colored yellow

Skizz MC Daemonium

he/him

straight

i legit wrote “single. not ready to mingle. never will be” in his notes.

this concludes part one.

#my art #digital art #fanart #not finished #daydreamer (highschool au)#bowie’s au: daydreamer #bowie speaks

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tightjeansjavi · 2 years ago

Note

I have my own place and my notes app is full of just random measurements and I don’t remember what they’re for so I keep re-measuring and writing them down again. Endless circle.

I have found so much random shit in my notes that I have now deleted because it’s like one word with zero context and I’m like HUH?? The voice notes I have in there are absolute gold content so I will not be deleting them lol

#talkswithgi #just girly things

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lonelynpc · 3 months ago

Note

📚 + 💌 (You seem like the kind of person with zero unread emails)

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

for context, phil ate my lunch:

おれの名前はｐｈｉｌです。おれは人間のゴミ。

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

i am so sorry to disappoint but i have 1,376 unread emails in my personal email atm my professional email is immaculate though

#ask #anon ask

0 notes

vampiric-touch · 11 months ago

Note

🥳, 🎁, 👑, and 🔮

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic

The year was 1842 and waving goodbye to my old pals as I ventured forth into the unknown. I felt invigorated to write again. After reading so many wonderful fics. I also wanted to see if I still had it in me.

👑 Do you like writing writing short fics or long fics? I… like writing long fics. Do I wish they were short? Absolutely. One day. I will write a short one. One and done. 😤

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Oh! Anon, you are dastardly. Umm. I suppose for the upcoming chapter of Idyllic Views. Just a small little snippet of dialogue with zero to no context? “Alcina…” you softly whine. “Shh, you heard Donna. The walls are thin,”

You squirm beneath her hold. “Uh, uh, you suggested this little game,” She whispers.

🫣.

🔮-Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

I don’t think I’m the best person for advice. Considering, I took a long break from fanfiction writing and I caught the writing bug back in May? April of last year? ( Had to check my notes app.) I have learned now. It’s okay to take breaks. It’s okay to walk away from a piece. It’ll be there when you are ready to touch it again. You’ll read through it and go. Oh! Okay. The old saying of reading is a tried and true statement. Whether it be other fanfics or actual novels. Listening to music is helpful. I have also learned that going back to good old pen and paper helps as well. Some of the things I have written as of late have come from a post-it note. So, moral of it all is. Take breaks. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Drink water. Circle back. Repeat. Most importantly, write for you first.

#Asks #anon ask #fanfiction

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isa-renee · 11 months ago

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i love going through my notes app every once in a while turns out i had a story idea a few nights ago at like 3am and i remember it now but i just like found a random note that said “afterlife polyamory romance novel??????” with absolutely zero context alfkdkgkf

0 notes

imathrashpanda · 1 year ago

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I believe in lobsters... apparently.

Woke up one morning with this in my notes app:

"2022/04/23

Sock is long me. Sock is whispering. “I’ve always believed. I believe in lobsters” I have absolutely no memory of this dream whatsoever. But as far as I know nothing is a typo here. I do vaguely remember " I believe in lobsters." but, context? Absolutely zero.

#dream #dreams #dream quotes #quotes from dreams #lobsters #BELIEVE IN THOSE CRUSTACEANS #I remember nothing #CRAB MACHINE GO BRRR

0 notes

superbbeardarbiter · 1 year ago

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AI Plug & Play Commissions-Review

AI Plug & Play Commissions-Review: What is AI Plug & Play Commissions?

Welcome to my AI Plug & Play Commissions Review. AI Plug & Play Commissions system labeled as "The World’s First A.I-Powered 'Copy & Paste' Video Profit System. It might be a term used in a particular marketing context.

AI Plug & Play Commissions sounds like a marketing pitch for a system that claims to leverage artificial intelligence (AI) to automate video content creation and profit generation. The term "Copy & Paste" suggests that the system might offer a simplified way for users to create videos without requiring in-depth video editing skills. It's important to note that such claims should be carefully evaluated, as the effectiveness and capabilities of such systems can vary widely.

If this is a new product or service, I recommend conducting independent research, reading reviews, and looking for trustworthy sources of information to determine whether it's a legitimate and effective tool.

AI Plug & Play Commissions-Review: How Does It Work

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#aiplug #commissions #video #videoprofit #makemoney

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space-station-collective · 1 year ago

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oh hey here's a Helpful (takes a bit for me to describe Why i think it's helpful, so you can skip to like the last two paragraphs if you dont care about that /gen)

something that i struggle a lot with is being very impulsive when it comes to.. well, most things. but the thing in question here is responding to people being shitty online

see, the thing is, while the internet is a vast and wonderful place filled with good information and kind people who you will get along with, it is also a vast place with the capability to house people with not-so-great beliefs, and it is inevitable you will at some point come across at least a handful of those guys, especially if you're on a side of the internet like disability, queer, system, or really any more serious section of the internet

i often find that when i see someone openly (and often proudly) declaring their beliefs that are usually actually very harmful towards people, i have a very strong urge to pick a fight with them, be sarcastic at them, tell them they're wrong, or just... engage. at all. even in a genuine attempt to educate them

the thing is.. that's not gonna work. it never is. if someone is so deeply entrenched in their beliefs that they're gonna post about it like that online, a stranger talking shit in their direction or offering up helpful resources is going to change their mind almost zero of the time. this goes for people i agree with, as well. it's just unlikely. the most likely thing is that, more likely than not, the person who chooses to engage will get blocked or vague insults thrown at them, sometimes worse things like doxxing or slurs

i find in general, it's best not to engage at all, regardless of how strongly you disagree with the person

sometimes, though, it can be incredibly difficult to see someone declaring such harmful things and feel okay with letting yourself walk away and not speak up. i assure you, you do not need to be the hero. it's not worth risking your own well-being just to correct a troll on the internet

so what do you do to get those emotions out? i've found that something very helpful is writing down exactly what i would want to say to this person, disregard all sense of courteousy, even, and write it down somewhere. notes app, google doc, one of those shout to the void websites, hell i've told my friends what i'd say to these trolls before (prefacing the context first, of course). block the person, and write down what you would say to them. this way, you aren't risking yourself by engaging, but you can still get those emotions out into the world, even a part of the world only you can see, and you can still have that release

as a matter of fact, i want to open this post up to do exactly that. if you have something you really want to say to a shitty person on the internet, go right ahead! this is your place! in the replies or the reblogs, go ahead and say what you want to get out. i will say, do not give any indication of who the person is or what exactly their initial post was, absolutely zero information that can trace back to the poster. i also ask that if you do this, please do not make direct threats, use slurs, or other harmful language directed at the person when going through this post to do it. tag anything else that may need tagged, triggers or content wise, at your discretion. beyond that, do your thing. say what you gotta say in the tags, this is your place to do so (probably say somewhere in that reblog, though, what you're doing or at least that the post directs you to. i would rather not have people thinking i'm getting shit talked at me /lh)

i'm going to start reblogging the post myself and talking in the tags, whenever i see something that makes me want to do just that, and i hope with this i can help more people to better their own internet presence and health. stay safe all :]

-the host (he/they)

#spacestationcollective #not system related #positivity #reblogs #complaining #longer post #swearing #swearing cw #host.html

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ear-worthy · 2 years ago

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The New Trailer Park Podcast: It’s Not A Tease But A Teaser

When a cook prepares a sumptuous meal, that person offers you a small taste to tease your taste buds. When you're at the movies, you're shown a series of movie trailers called coming attractions. TV commercials often show a trailer for a new show.

Podcasts also promote themselves via trailers. Sometimes called Episode Zero, these trailers are a valuable tool to market a new podcast or an existing podcast advertising a new season.

Trailers also offer value to the podcaster because they force the podcaster to communicate what's new, exciting, and ear worthy about the podcast. Want to listen to a superb trailer? Try the trailer to Digital Folklore. It's immersive and creepy, and my lizard brain is craving more.

Given how integral trailers are to podcasts and podcast listeners, it's natural, and wildly creative, to develop a podcast that showcases trailers.

Welcome to Trailer Park: The Podcast Trailer Podcast, which is a podcast that showcases podcast trailers. Whether those trailers were made and then abandoned, were made as creative proof, are part of a larger body of work, or were created just for fun, the podcast creators exclaim, "they're welcome here at the park!"

The premise of the show is simple: Submit a podcast trailer to the podcast to be reviewed on the podcast. Why would any aspirational or experienced podcaster do that? Simple. Feedback from professionals is critical to success. The creative process needs the oxygen of collective assessment to survive and thrive.

Have an idea for a podcast? Create a trailer and submit it to Trailer Park and get direction and feedback from the pros.

The co-hosts on Trailer Park are Arielle Nissenblatt and Tim Villegas. The co-hosts boast strong, up-tempo energy, balanced chemistry, and years of expertise.

Tim Villegas has been writing on topics ranging from education and music to productivity. My work regularly appears on Think Inclusive and The Weeklyish and has been featured at Edutopia, The Hechinger Report, and Noodle.

"After spending 16 years in public education as a special education classroom teacher and district support specialist, my communications habit turned into a full-time career," Says Villegas. "I’m the Director of Communications for MCIE, and the founder of Think Inclusive, the official blog and podcast of MCIE. I’m working on a narrative podcast called Inclusion Stories and a book about my experience as an inclusionist despite teaching in non-inclusive school systems.

Arielle Nissenblatt is famous in podcasting circles. In today's fragmented media world, there are TikTok celebrities, Instagram influencers, and YouTube stars that are unknown outside their media universe. If you've been involved in podcasting in any way over the last few years, you know Arielle Nissenblatt.

"I've been working in the podcast space since early 2017 when I started a podcast recommendation newsletter called EarBuds Podcast Collective,"Arielle notes. "Since then, I've managed podcast studios, worked as an in-app curator, gone to school for audio production, produced several podcasts, run successful marketing and PR campaigns for several dozen shows, have organized podcast communities on Twitter, Discord, and Slack, and much more."

Arielle confesses to "love working in and around audio because it's my favorite way to consume content. I want to help more people find their next favorite podcast."

The first episode played a trailer from a new podcast called Neuroversity, which is about neurodiversity with a purpose to expand our understanding of what that term means, elevate the life experiences of the neurodivergent, and advocate for a more inclusive and informed culture. Neurodiversity (for those, including me, who didn't know) is defined as

the range of differences in individual brain function and behavioral traits, regarded as part of normal variation in the human population, used especially in the context of autistic spectrum disorders.

The trailer, submitted by the host and podcast creator Jessica Kidwell, offers listeners a three-minute sonic spa treatment, with a soothing voice and reassuring tone that sparks listeners' psyches. Listen to Arielle and Tim diagnose the trailer and discuss the podcast.

In podcasting, it's the discovery process that is critical to success. There are so many podcasts (so many good podcasts) that quality is not a guarantee of download wealth and maximum visibility. That's why trailers can act like Dorothy's ruby slippers, granting an aspirational podcaster's wish for attention, listeners, and luminosity.

So if you're new to the podcasting space, develop a two-to-three minute trailer and submit it to Trailer Park. You can submit or simply learn by listening to others.

I've always wanted to create a podcast, and I am thinking of a few teaser lines for my trailer. Let me know what you think.

Teaser # 1: "I want the truth. You can't handle the truth!"

Teaser # 2: "There's no crying. There's no crying in podcasting."

What do you think?

While you're thinking, listen to Trailer Park: The Podcast Trailer Podcast and submit your own trailer.

#podcast #podcasting #trailers #creativity

0 notes

nicolechen-arh2000 · 2 years ago

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WRITING AND RESEARCH

Hi everyone, my name is Nicole Chen! A little-known fact about me is that I hate calendars, and much prefer to write down important dates and events in the Notes app on my phone. I usually just quickly write the time and date down with no context of the event, leading to a random assortment of times and dates with zero explanation as to what that event is or where it is.

Banksy October 9, 2013 Untitled. Spray paint, stencil, mixed media, graffiti art. Ludlow Street, Lower East Side, NYC (removed).

Banksy is an anonymous artist, with little known about his identity. However, it has been revealed that he was born in Bristol, England, and is the son of a photocopy engineer.

Banksy originally produced his works freehanded, but began using stencils in 2000, largely due to their quick and efficient nature. Street art is not exactly legal, and if caught, he could be prosecuted for criminal damage.

Many of Banksy’s works have political messages, usually blatantly containing criticisms of war, the military, consumerism, and more.

The piece that Banksy created on October 9th, 2013, uses a wall and car as a canvas. Horses wearing night vision goggles were depicted on the wall, and a shootout between men painted on the car.

The untitled piece found October 9th, 2013, was accompanied by an audio posted on his website. The audio is a recording of an attack on Iraqi civilians from 2013, leaked by Chelsea Manning, formerly an US army intelligence analyst, to Julian Assange of Wikileaks. The horses spray painted on the wall references this attack, as the callsigns of the Apache helicopters used in the attack were Crazyhorse 1/8 and Crazyhorse 1/9.

At first, the piece seemed overwhelming. I did not know where to look between the horses wearing goggles, and men blasting guns. There is a great amount of detail in this piece. However, especially after researching the accompanying audio to this creation, it is clear that it is a political art piece bringing attention to the Baghdad airstrike leaked by whistleblower Chelsea Manning. 12 People were killed in the attack, including two Reuters journalists, and 2 children were wounded. An American soldier can be heard remarking that it was the civilian’s fault for bringing children into the battle and many jokes are exchanged between the soldiers. Knowing the history and inspiration for the piece, it becomes much more impactful and emotional. Smaller details, like skulls on the car, become more prominent. Rather than just being a visually interesting piece, it becomes emotionally striking too.

ART AND WRITING

The piece that I chose is a rough sketch that I made while bored during work on a piece of copy paper using a dry-erase marker. It is a silly little drawing of dinosaurs and coconut trees that I decided to give to my friend who visited me later that shift, but he returned it to me during our first date, complete with a sweet note on the back. I have it displayed on my wall, along with a haphazard collage of many other mementos and photos, and partly because of the memories attached to the drawing, I do think that it is beautiful. Looking at the sketch reminds me of good times and happy feelings.

WRITING A SELF PORTRAIT

I turned 18 this past November and I am terrified of growing older. I identify as female. I was born in Georgia, but moved to China shortly after I was born. I stayed there until I turned four, learning Mandarin as my first language, although I speak English more fluently now. As can be guessed from the previous sentence, I am Asian and Chinese. I am not a member of any organized group. I currently do not have a job, but I used to work at a country club's fitness center. I love working out, and no matter how busy I am, I try to get in the gym for at least an hour each day, six days a week. Other than working out, I like reading and hanging out with my friends. My friends make life worth living, and make even mundane tasks fun. My approach towards life is what makes me unique. I do not believe that anything is a waste of time. From every experience, I have learned a lesson. It may be from another person, or the experience itself, but every experience in life makes me a better person. I try to make the most out of everything and aim to always be improving.

ART PROJECT (SELF-PROJECT)

I chose to make a collage for my self-project. The first picture is a playlists of songs that acted as the soundtrack to major events in my life. The other pictures are with my friends. They play a massive role in my life, and have enriched my life in so many ways. They push me out of my comfort zone, they challenge my opinions, and support me whenever I need it. I would not be who I am without my close friends. Some of the photos are in environments that play large roles in my life. One is at SCF, in a chemistry lab. I am a biology major, and love working in science labs. Another is in the locker room at the gym. The gym is a big part of my life. Another picture was taken at my high school's football stadium, during a spirit week movie night with all my friends. I truly treasure these photos, taken in important environments in my life with important people in my life. These are the moments and people that make me, me.

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