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#this is important to me bc I'm trying to write them
sapphosremains · 3 days
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Thoughts on Calvinism?
This is so interesting bc the majority of posts about Calvinism on here have focused on its beliefs about predestination, so I want to try and buck that. As with everything on this blog you'll get a weird mix of personal religion and academic theology, so do shout if you only wanted one or the other and I'll try again! Another disclaimer: I have no formal reading or research on Calvinism - denominational theology isn't really my area, so anything in here is personal opinion and from brief research, but no real academic reading. I'll get round to it, but it's not the top of my list right now!
Starting with the unified idea against the Real Presence, with Calvinism teaching that the Eucharist is simply a reminder of Christ's sacrifice, personally I just can't agree. I am still working out where I am on trans/consubstantiation, but I do completely believe in the idea of the Real Presence, and reject a memorialist theology. To me, it just doesn't work that the Eucharist can be a sacrament yet only a reminder and a memorial (although to be fair, Calvin's alternate view of what a sacrament is dodges this issue, but I can't agree with it so still personally doesn't work).
Now, from what I've read, Calvinism seems pretty on the side of sola scriptura, which again as an anglocatholic I am not. I think there's a reason why Revelation is addressed to the churches, and why Jesus devoted so much time to His disciples. Do I think that the Church is possibly more fallible than scripture? Yes, that's why I'm not RC, but I think the Church and community is of utmost importance, and understanding of Christianity and rule of faith is reliant on the Church. Furthermore, I think that again there's a reason why the Pope is the Pope and I'm not, and the Archbishop of Canterbury is and I'm not! Not that I would suggest that Calvinists reject this idea, just that I think there is a chain of authority and expertise in the Church for a reason, and their view ought to carry more weight than mine, despite us both reading the same scripture.
Carrying on with this Church idea, despite what I've just said, I'm not sure about the idea of God's only communication being through Christ. I'll come onto other reasons, but the first one that landed concretely with me was the idea that the preaching of ministers about God is the Word of God. Mmmm. Not sure. I think it's quite a vain idea to suggest that humans, ordained or not, let alone a massive group of them all preaching different things can all be speaking the word of God. Even just think of a minister you know who's said something slightly off, or a denomination that is far off every other, or not to generalise but if you've ever watched a mega-church service... can they all be the Word of God? Makes me feel a bit icky. The other stuff about Christ and salvation being the only two methods of God's self-revelation I feel like I don't know enough theology about to write about, but my instinct is against.
Covenant theology to me just felt like another framework, and I'm not keen on it. So far what I've read of Calvinism just seems to me like it tries to restrict a divine and infinite being into finite and defined ways of working with humans, and I'm not super keen.
Social trinitarianism? Nuh uh. I just, no. Not sure what to say, I'm just a Nicene creed girly.
Now, getting into the stuff we see more on here, starting with total depravity. This one makes me sad. There was a really good post on here which I've just been looking for (similar to this post by @hymnsofheresy) and I wish I could find it but essentially just a different view of original sin, seeing it more as meaning that we cannot be perfect, and to prevent us being perfectionists because we are in a world which cannot let us be perfect. I really like this view. The Calvinist idea of total depravity meaning that we are displeasing to God, 'defiled and polluted' in his sight, and makes us 'naturally hateful to God' is just like what? God loves us. Yes, He hates sin, and sin is irrevocably linked to the person, but I can't believe that He hates us and finds us displeasing, defiled, and polluted from the minute we are conceived.
Now, predestination. Similarly to the original sin, I just think this is such a nihilist theology. I think if I believed that there was a chance that before I had a chance to have faith, or do good works, I was condemned to hell, no matter what I did, I would struggle to have faith. Why would one want to believe in a God if you think that He could have condemned you to hell before your existence, based on no characteristic of your own?
On a more flippant note (ha), I couldn't be Calvinist because I love music, and as cool as a cappella is, it definitely couldn't be my whole liturgical life (also I'm an organist!).
Hope this was somewhat interesting, and I hope not horrifically uniformed. What are your thoughts?
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vilevampire · 1 year
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I'm going to start sobbing
#I just came here to see what other scenes I could turn into gifs but I got distracted and now I'm overanalyzing allocer's character. again#this is like the 3rd time#jazz as well#but specifically their dialogue and word choice#this is important to me bc I'm trying to write them#and 2 me if I can't read the words in the character's voice then I get very bothered#and and and I love how allocer speaks soo much I find it fascinating especially bc#before I consciously made the decision to analyze his characterization I hadn't even noticed it but he speaks in a very unique way#he tends to use more 'difficult' words and his speech pattern is less conversational#especially compared to jazz who speaks very smoothly#and very naturally#allocer is very blunt but not in a personality kinda way but in a the way he words his phrases kinda way#they're worded very unnaturally and I just find that so fascinating#and it doesn't usually translate to english well bc english is a very inflexible language compared to japanese#but there's certainly ways around it to display his characterization better#I think he would be fun to write. figuring out how exactly he would say things.#but from what I've seen in most fics he's in he speaks in a normal way#bc nobody's gone through the trouble of paying attention to his speech patterns . I'm the only one insane enough#man#if I spread my allocer agenda far and wide by writing my own fics where he's a fully fleshed out character#with his own unique quirks and stuff#maybe ...... ppl will see it and the quality of his fandom characterization will increase overall ......#lucasings#blorboposting
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tvckerwash · 11 months
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wash tormenting the reds in the most petty ways possible because he's still pissed off about them hitting him with a car and then blowing him up in s8 is so important to me you don't even understand
#I'm pretty sure I've said it on my old blog before but wash is the blues older brother but to the reds? he's the neighborhood bully lmao#that scene in s13 where wash gets all the chorus soldiers to turn on grif for refusing to attend the training sessions? 100% an act of#calculated cruelty on wash's part lmao#oh oh or in s11 when wash hooked up blue base to the ships power but not the reds? also calculated lol#wash stealing all of their stuff in s10 will also always be a fav petty wash moment of mine#he is out to make them suffer and they're not even aware of it lol#rvb#agent washington#mine#not t/oaru#if i ever write my ct lives au fic I'm going so hard on petty grudge holding wash#he is an absolute menace but he's so lowkey about it that in universe trying to convince ppl that wash is as petty as he is#is nearly impossible#the only ppl aware of wash's true nature are the counselor the director ct alpha and probably maine (and maybe florida)#everyone else sees him in a similar light as his fanon characterization#that's part of the reason why i think lina was so shock in s10 when he turned his gun on her bc to her wash was always so subordinate that#she just genuinely never saw it coming#anyway wash/ct/maine friendship is so important to me. i like to include south in there too sometimes but honestly south comes off as a#loner type. like she doesn't mind ppl but no one except north is really willing to tolerate her uh....personality for long periods of time#shes very....reactive and emotionally charged#but tbh id be that way too if i was stuck with north#north unironically reminds me of my dad but not in the good way lol#god my tags are all over the place#audhd brain goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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necrotic-nephilim · 15 days
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your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked
I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??
thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.
currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.
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amiharana · 1 year
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and even more revalink hcs from this post part 6
previous hc part 5 x i'm too lazy to tag the other ones, just go through this one 😭 i haven't done one of these in a bit so i'm doing this for funsies 😹
who's the primary protector of the two?
hard to say, since they're both warriors with protective instincts, and link had to have learned some survival skills & instincts in botw
neither of them ever rest really, constantly on their guard because they're not letting anyone get the slip on them
i imagine that maybe they bicker over who gets to protect the other, always insisting that they'll be the one to save the other 😹
who sleeps in and who is the early bird?
i think we should know by now where i stand on this 😹
i am the self-proclaimed #1 sleepy link x coddler revali enthusiast. you know damn well i am tucking that blond twunk into a soft comfy bed (the bed being revali)
who is the least patient?
hard to pin down as a generalization, because it's circumstantial between the two of them imo
like we all know link would stare into a campfire all night just to be able to hunt the best game at the exact crack of dawn
but revali is very thoughtful and methodical to me. i just reviewed his diary and the cb memory, and it's clear that his dedication to the craft warrants a lot of strategy, perseverance, and patience. he can be incredibly patient for the things that matter most to him
(i also really like the idea that revali would be very patient with fledglings 🥺 gordon ramsey type beat)
that being said, both revali and link will have a breakdown trying to assemble a single chair from ikea. they insist that the furniture is cursed but zelda assembles it in less than five minutes
which of the two listens to old music and which one is more into the newer stuff?
to me, revali seems like he would enjoy classical music, and classic pop & rock in general. anything before the 2000's, revali can get into
projecting a portion of my own music taste onto revali, he fucks with songs like 'stitches and burns' by fra lippo lippi, 'i melt with you' by modern english, and 'true' by spandau ballet. i will not be taking any criticism at this time 🙏
meanwhile link's playlist is jumping from 'good lookin'' dixon dallas to 'planet of the bass' to 'ETA' newjeans. and he finds all of it unironically genius
who's the first one to quit a new hobby because they're not great at it on the first try?
my instinct was to say revali, but the thing is, revali holds a great insecurity in wanting to be the best, and it's difficult to do that when you're dating Mr. Link Master-At-Everything-He-Tries over here
so if he's not automatically good at it but link is, you better bet your entire ass that revali is learning that shit out of spite to be better or at least just as good at it as link is
bitches can't even have like a couple hobby, everything turns into a competition if it's revali and link ✋😭
who holds a grudge the longest?
revali of course
a while ago, i made a post about how i hc'd revali to be a capricorn sun virgo rising, and i kinda still stand by that. he'll take anything to be a personal slight against him, will block you on everything, and talk shit about you to anyone. petty ahh mf
link just doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges, he's kinda goldfish brain. he'll forget he was even mad at you 15 minutes later
who secretly knows all the lyrics to the other's favorite songs but refuses to expose themselves?
revali actually 🥺
link soaks up melodies and lyrics like a sponge, so he has no problem picking any one of revali's playlists and knowing every single song on there, he will sing his heart out to each song on that damned playlist
revali is a bit of a music snob and isn't always the biggest fan of link's taste in music (as per #4 in this list LOL)
but he tries really hard to memorize link's favorites even if he fucking hates the song, which results in revali practicing korean just to be able to sing fucking 'gangnam style' psy with link 😭
who's more likely to cry about a plant dying?
link hands down. this guy gets overly attached to inanimate objects fr
bro is the type to bump into the corner of a table and be like "oops, sorry mr. table, didn't mean to hit you"
zelda once sent link a bouquet of flowers she had grown herself, and link put them in a nice little vase, made sure they got sunlight and water every day, and gave each flower names
when one of the flowers started wilting, link was about to have a whole breakdown
revali comes home to link trying to perform surgery on a flower, like why it got a whole iv drip bag now???
which of the two is the most outspoken? which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen?
these were actually two separate questions but i decided to mix them, bc i think it's pretty clear who's who
revali is more outspoken and quick to speak, he's confidently opinionated and will mansplain to you unfortunately. he's not afraid to tell you what he thinks, because he thinks he's always right. very much the type to tell you he's just being brutally honest as an excuse to a dick skjdhfkdj
link is soft-spoken, reserved, and a listener, he'll let you take the lead on the conversation or listen you out completely before saying anything.
as such, revali is the one berating the cashier for putting pickles on link's burger when he said he didn't want any 😹
and honestly? link just likes hearing revali's voice, so he's content with letting revali talk his head off as long as they get to cuddle or hold hands.
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incesthemes · 7 months
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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️
omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately
i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother
that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have
(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)
anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that
#ask#sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this#but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies#to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are#and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching#mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other#that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually#the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon#or something#like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there#same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like#think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like#no shit sherlock#but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship#in the first place#which is BIZARRE to me#like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends#that they don't even like each other#wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived#idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest#they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits#the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it#it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once#shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN#i hope i'm making sense here#supernatural#wincest#spn posting
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talentforlying · 7 months
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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Lmao was watching the fight scene between Luz and Belos in YBOS and the lines that stuck out to me were "okay, I'll play" and "go be a hero".
Because both are spoken with a bit of amusement and condescension, which is appropriate when you realise that, in Philips mind, his little genocide plot and especially the detour with the Clawthorne sisters in s1 really is a bit of a game to him. A game that's important to him, that he's determined to win, but a bit of a game nonetheless.
Like, he doesn't see any of the isle's inhabitants as people, he's framed the whole thing as a game to the collector to get them to help him, he's essentially been continuing his childhood game of witch hunters this whole time on a bigger scale, complete with a "Caleb" and everything.
And then the line "go, be a hero" is SOOO funny to me, because the reason he's so dismissive of Luz is because, in his mind, he's the hero of this story. No one else, not even the other human, him. He's painting Luz and naïve and delusional here for thinking she's doing any good WHEN THAT'S EXACTLY HOW HE THINKS. Get a load of this guy!!!
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samuelroukin · 2 months
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i'm a whole ass 1k behind my daily goal so far and what am i doing? well it's not writing
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suncaptor · 10 months
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also me being so incapable of telling romantic and platonic feelings apart is so silly to me now. they're literally just the same things except with different consistencies of the sparkly and fixatednesses.
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pagesofkenna · 2 years
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in lieu of writing a 5 page essay about my feelings I just wanna say that currently my favorite binxhera ship dynamic is binx coming into this thinking it's a whirlwind romance and andhera coming into this thinking it's a lifepartner pledge, and it's a comedy of errors of the both of them realizing that this is actually different and way more important to the other than they thought it was
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halfdeadwallfly · 1 year
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I'm writing an analysis essay on the Thomas opinion from Dobbs v. Jackson, with a five page length requirement and a due date of one hour from now. I already have two pages, but I've just restructured the whole framework and I'm basically going to have to rewrite it.
I have soooo many thoughts but I just lack the motivation to actually articulate everything and it's so fuckinggg frustratinggggg
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tvrningout-a · 10 months
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i should've switched to writing original stuff ages ago bc i could've been overcoming writer's block if i did :' )
#connecting mine and vee's lore in written form is something i've wanted to do forever bc i love love love gaia and kaiya's relationship!!#but i had a mental block towards bio's for... man i dunno how long tbh#i always got really stuck with them which is why i started doing bullet points where i could jot down all my thoughts#but i should have just?? been unafraid to write lengthy bio's i think#and then i could've done fun stuff like this way earlier!! without feeling stuck and slow!!#like honestly i don't even care about the people who won't bother to read my bio's bc those probably aren't the people who will#end up writing with me#i always avoided lengthy bio's bc i didn't wanna inconvenience someone#but how is it inconveniencing if i'm trying to make something interesting and enjoyable to read?#how is it inconveniencing if i'm just?? writing about my muses?? it's silly to water down my creativity and i'm sorry i did it now#now pls know i can give you the tldr on any of my muses bio if you need it asdfgh but i'm gonna just!! do what's fun for me from now on#that's gonna be a very important rule i need to enforce for myself with this blog move#no more doing things that make it harder for myself bc i'm worried about other people#there needs to be a balance and that's what i'm gonna keep in mind going forward uvu#so sorry for the rant oh my gosh asdfgh i just got to thinking and truly my writer's block has not bothered me with dorverold stuff#like it has in the past for other things and i think it's how i've approached writing and world building aka not worrying about length#if i'm struggling it's because i'm tired or busy#ANYWAY ASDFG i promise i'm going to bed now :' ))) good night!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
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#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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space-coupe · 2 years
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#okAy so i'm not going to finish writing it i lack the skill n talent but i Must get this out there it's haunting me#i know rpf freaks some ppl out in which case why are u following me i literally made this blog bc i wrote so much goddamn rpf#but anyways. fair warning in advance. n i will delete this once i stop being insane blah blah blah#but god. just obsessed with piarlesteban ideas rn. with charles watching all the alpine stuff we're seeing trickling out now and like#the bittersweet feeling that comes with watching someone you love succeed at the cost of them potentially moving on without you#at least when pierre and esteban weren't talking it wasn't a constant reminder that Technically he's not pierre's oldest friend on the grid#that while he Technically thinks he knows pierre best. he wasnt one of those kids from normandy#is it jealousy? is it fear? is it something else?#after all if he called pierre 'pierrot' on main and started posting tiktoks with how important their friendship is#it would be smth f1 reposts and takes everywhere and makes a situation out of. but esteban can do it naturally.#him not wanting pierre and esteban to fall out again because truly he Does love them both albeit in very different ways because they *did*#all grow up together. but then if they do. he doesn't have to worry about if pierre starts to hesitate more when he's asked who he's#closest to. who his best friend is. doesn't have to worry#plus. plus plus. add in the context of it mirroring /pierre/ feeling like he got left behind while charles#blazed trails in his top team and pierre went back to his junior team who try as they might could never give him that wdc#sorry ive just been listening to smile like you mean it on repeat. and like#and someone is playing a game in the house i grew up in. and someone will drive her around on the same streets that i did#i CAN and i WILL make this about them#esp because im already deep in copium#YO the fact i can edit tags now. fucking SEXY!
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daisywords · 2 years
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too many thoughts about Alya and Kirsta today
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