#this is im going 2 sit back & just think
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i am not immune to transmascs in sweatpants and a sleeveless top
im rly fucking weak about it actually
#losing my mind rn#i still can't get over it#💀 i told him aksksksk the prog won buddy my boy my guy i can Not think straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i look at someone's upper back a little too long then i can't get them out of my head for 2 days is this how it is??!#(。ノω\。) i haven't seen him in a while im not used to how hot he actually is#which is funny bc i distinctly know what he looks like but u ever just see someone irl and you're like AAAAA THEY'RE HOT#⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡ hey ..#my friend how close ur sitting makes my heart feel like it's going to explode but I'm trying to be so cool about it#but also not really 🫠#not anymore!! 😭 i need to let u know
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
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hiya sweet friendz and happy timezones !!! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) i’m feeling so much better than i have all weekend and i’m so very thankful :’) but now i’m preparing to fight off the sunday scaries with silliness !! i hope everyone has had a restful & relaxing weekend !! mwah mwah 🤍
#this song is forever stuck in my head hehe so much so it was my numba 1 on spotify#missed doing a lil daily yap and i was gonna wait until tmro but i fear i will be too sleepy to do a gm yap#todays overall vibes just feel like a big sigh of relief and i’m so happy#i cleaned so much today and took like 2 naps … feelin productive tbh#and finally got some stuff straightened out that needed to be settled !!! yipeeeee ^_^#i’m almost done with everything i need to do and then i shall relax the rest of the evening and catch up on some asks#im really sorry that some of it has been sitting there for so long#esp the selfship questions and the self insert lore ones :( i’ve been wanting to answer but !!! life !!#plus i was feeling wonky about selfships for a wee bit but nowwww im back ^_^ !#i think#heheheh#going to try and finish this mihawk fic for tmro !!!#but first ….#blowing a kiss to the sky and letting it float back down to land on all of your cute lil faces !!!#love u bunches !!!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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Omg you're back again hello 👀 how have you been????
Big mood on the "man I wish this author would finish their fic" LOL I've been rereading my own wiring recently and going wtf. Where's the rest of it?
For a limited time only babyyy
But I've been good. Extremely busy but it's okay, the pto is worth it. That's what I keep telling myself at least :) but how are you??? Is anything interesting happening? New developments perhaps 👀
The funny thing is that I've actually been talking with a few mutuals, and they've all told me that they recently went back to re-read their drafts. Maybe it's something in the air or we're all feeling a bit nostalgic? Or because everyone is on break since it's summer.
#cattycattitude#im self projecting#Right?? When I read an incomplete fic#I don't hound the author down to finish it because it's rude as hell and things take time. People are busy#not in this case. I have a direct open line of communication with this author and they are about to receive a very strongly worded pep talk#you know what i think it could be#and take this with a grain of salt cause I'm speaking from my experience#but i feel like since we know how we want the story to go#and we've basically crafted the entire fic in our heads#we only pick the parts that we really like#for example when go back to rewatch clips from a movie#we just watch the parts that we like#i dont give a shit about the random conversation 28 mins into the movie#but its important because it advances the plot or it serves another purpose but regardless its important#but since im writing it I have to add in that random conversation otherwise the fic doesn't make sense#but thats BORING#I DONT WANNA DO IT#so rather than just sitting down and taking the 2 minutes to write that dialogue#i just push it to the side and pretend that ill come back to it#but i dont cause its always going to something boring to me even if it really isn't#super duper big mwah#lovely person#ask
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...
#u dont understand the predicament ive trapped mys3lf in#i want to get a tattoo to cover up some scars so i dont have to b self conscious abt them#bc u dont think ppl r gonna ask abt it but they absolutely do#BUT. my brain says: no u cant tattoo on that arm. only ur left leg and right arm#those r the rules. so im just sitting here like >:-[#and then its like: wtf do i even do to cover them? i wish someone could just tell me what to put there#but im THE pickiest person ever and only want abstract tattoos#hhhhhhh. im so fucking tired. and i put in my 2 weeks notice at work bc i am actually going back to school#hope it doesnt kill me but ive got 2 weeks to brace for pain#at least i no longer have roomates to deal with#unrelated
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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It is some consolation that one day this will not make me bristle
#i am aware that im v tired and sleep deprived and about to be on my period so take everything i say with a grain of salt#also i hate being awake at 1am and i have a bajillion things i need to do that i havent started yet#and im planning 2 birthday things tomorrow#and i have 5 birthday dorm cards to write for tomorrow which is going to take foreber#forever#and hours of class to slog through#and i just want to curl up in a ball and weep!!!!#dont dangle the confounded treat in front of my eyes and then stomp it into crumbs while i watch!#dont make me think im loved and then Do This!#i am so tired! even though i know theres so much to be thankful for!#i am planning two birthday parties because i love you guys#but when MY birthday rolls around i am locking myself in my room i am leaving this place i am not going to tell anyone#i am Not going to sit around like a little girl with such sickeningly high hopes#and watch them be crushed AGAIN!#I will go OUT and not come back to the dorm until evening because i cannot STAND to be disappointed again#just like every other time! THIS MAKES ME SICK#my heart is so tired :) esp after the boy thing
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so theres these 2 zombie apocalypse daughters and im a disappointed parent who plays favorites
#twdg replay got me feeling Feelings....then i remember i have Another zombie daughter i neglect these days >.>#this is not me pitting 2 bad bitches against each other im just thinking abt ellie and her poor life choices lol#clem got Everything ellie threw away : ) fool#ellie im so sorry its not your fault#sometimes i remember how important ellie and tlou were to me before ......#anyway :) *thunder stops clouds part sun shining birds chirping*#clem is happy at her forever home with her found family and baby boy and co leader girlfriend :) peace and love on planet earth :)#clem does Not get the appreciation she deserves and i stand by that. clementine you will Always be famous. the original. the blueprint.#CLEM I LOVE U BBY GIRL i will give u ur flowers forever#all wlw who stopped playing twdg before s4 go play s4 right now i am no longer asking#the amount of people who havent played s4...wat r u doin....its the final season...pains me#anyway back to my brain hell :) guess i'll just sit here by myself#thats ok :) my house now#it speaks#twdg#tlou
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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i love chip because he really never left the midnight rose
#my post#ripposting#im just sitting here thinking about him like#hes spent 10 years chasing what he had for 2#hes got a crew now hes got friends hes got family! but its not the black rose so its not enough#hes so desperate to have things be the same. to go back to being a kid.#and some of that obsession isnt even on him anymore. the corruptions been eating away at him for a while now.#i just keep thinking about this one moment. idk which episode it was from. but chip says something like '-but im just a kid.'#to which jay says 'youre really not though?'#like chip never left that ship man. he could be on the albatross or the crescent rose or in zero or allport but it doesnt matter#all he can feel is his boots hitting the planks of that old rosewood ship
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📓🖊️🧸
#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk#my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me#nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her#so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333#anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :((#but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol)#then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude#they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he#pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole??????#got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :((#it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back#hurt so bad too sksksks :<#but i managed to write a little but on my assignment#then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad#wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk#felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣#now a few hours later i feel better physically#buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding#idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better#like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T#im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :((#and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all#im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks#i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!!#i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :(#but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all#mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk
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man. this song reminds me of physiology class
#throwback to physiology class [x] years ago when this clique sitting behind me drank a sip of water every time#our lecturer said the word ‘infarction’#they kept tricking her into saying the word which was pretty funny at the time#but that’s just what this song reminds me of with the frequency at which they say the phrase ‘white day kiss’#of all of the new album songs to get stuck in my head… it’s this and abs.#can’t stop thinking about meoto but white day kiss is looping in my mind aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i. i think i need some sleep. but my album’s supposed to arrive within the next 2 hours and aufhhfjfjjfjrjdjdjdjdhs#5-7pm delivery is too cruel of a delivery slot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#g god i really shouldn’t have stayed up for meoto… maybe i’d have a little more sanity then…#i keep going back to my tl to look for typos and im just. wondering if this song is really real.#like. dammit. promises to stay by each other’s sides forever???? even through reincarnation too???#wh. what are the chances that we’ll get a meoto mv this week? (pls say more than 0)#i think we could all windows movie maker a 1-2 image white day kiss mv from the honeypre event illusts if we tried hard enough sooooooo#i sure hope that if any new song gets an mv this week it’ll be meoto!!!!!!!#pls lemme see them being in love all through the seasons ill c r y#ok i’ll shut up for now see you within 2 hours (maybe) when d to the h to the l finally gives me my album
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