pensacolapressurewashing-blog

[saintzweig]

gym teacher patrick! moodboard & headcanons

– thank you for 400!!! this is long overdue but i just had so many ideas for it, i had to write them all down. all hail gym patrick teacher anon. slightly proof read idk also i just kinda went ham on this so apologies if it's very out of character or slightly different from the ones i've posted before.

ꢾ꣒ the first time you saw patrick, he's walking down the hallways beside the principal. a very casual fit, jeans and shirt, because he doesn't have much going on in his wardrobe. (having sold his expensive clothes to afford gas and food)

ꢾ꣒ you were asked to give him a tour so when you were introduced, his first thought is how much you give miss honey from matilda vibes.

ꢾ꣒ your personality wasn't far from it as well– selfless, passionate and caring, everything he wasn't and hadn't witnessed in years.

ꢾ꣒ you've heard about him, of course. the teacher's lounge was filled with excited since the news of pro-tennis player patrick zweig coming to work in their local school.

ꢾ꣒ when you gave him the tour, he seemed a little jittery and ended up overcompensating with jokes and compliments. which he knows definitely weren't the right things to say but it's his first job, an actual job that he felt he had no qualifications for.

ꢾ꣒ you were understanding though, didn't judge him so quickly which he was extremely grateful for.

ꢾ꣒ he quickly got on well with the students because well, he's young, cool and funny. he was definitely not that great when it comes to paperworks and lessons during his first few months at school but he learned eventually.

ꢾ꣒ the students love calling him mr.z because they somehow end up butchering his last name plus he thinks it's very validating when teens think you're cool enough to give you a nickname.

ꢾ꣒ he loves making the kids play dodgeball because it's brutal lol

ꢾ꣒ he would always come by your room during short breaks, shamelessly sticking his hand in the fishbowl filled with candies for your students.

ꢾ꣒ he would always try to sit with you during lunch in the teacher's lounge because he claims you're the only sane one besides him. he'd ask questions about you or tea on the teachers...

ꢾ꣒ you tried putting distance between the two of you at first because you're professional and have boundaries and he's ... patrick and new. but you soon realized how fun and comforting being in his presence is. you love your job but dealing with kids five days a week is stressful and he helps make it bearable.

ꢾ꣒ during assemblies, he'd always stand next to you with his arms crossed. pretending to watch over the students and keep them behaved but in the end, he's the one who ends up misbehaving by trying to make conversation with you, he's not that good at whispering.

ꢾ꣒ he'd always say hi, compliment your clothes or pop into your classroom to rile the kids up and annoy you. he'd come up to your desk saying he has something important to tell you but it's all nonsense, and it's only when the door closes behind him that you noticed the post-it note he left on your desk. "dinner?"

ꢾ꣒ things start to escalate more when you two were tasked to chaperone a field trip. on the way back, everyone's knocked out including you. he lets you rest your head on his shoulder, his hand itching to grab yours and keep you close.

ꢾ꣒ he'd tap you awake when he notices you're getting closer to the school. dazed, you lift your head up. accidentally just centimeters away from his. after realizing you've just been staring into each other's eyes, you both look away with a light shade of red dusting your cheeks.

ꢾ꣒ after that moment, he'd try to convince the other staffs to plan a work dinner or a night out just to get close to you and talk without all the awkwardness.

ꢾ꣒ he'd be rushing to sit next to you, doing everything to keep your attention on him. he's handing you the things you're asking for, putting more food onto your plate, refilling your glass.

ꢾ꣒ by the end of the night, you mention how you were planning to uber home but he insists that he drives you, to be safe. and he definitely didn't plan for it because his car is a mess, he opens the door to the passenger seat and tosses a bunch of stuff to the backseat before stepping aside to let you in.

ꢾ꣒ you ask him if he wanted to go for post-night out burger before driving you home and of course he's not going to say no to more time with you.

ꢾ꣒ you get your burger and fries then he drives you to a small cliff he found when he first moved here, telling you the story of how he ended up in this town in the first place.

ꢾ꣒ he was surprised to see you tearing up, you say its because he's gone through so much and found the strength to start over again but he's downplaying it, saying he's sure other people go through much worse

ꢾ꣒ and you're like, no don't say that. you're valid, everything you've gone through is valid and i'm so proud of you for striving to be better (miss honey mode activated.)

ꢾ꣒ his heart swells, staring at you with a surprised expression because he hasn't heard that in so long, that someone was proud of him.

ꢾ꣒ fast forward, you're sharing a cozy apartment after you proposed being roommates, saying rent in this economy is really bad and with your pay, you're not sure how long you're gonna be able to keep a roof over your head. it was hasty, sure but it felt right. now you've made a home together.

ꢾ꣒ he gets up atleast half an hour before you, kissing you on the forehead before getting up to brew some coffee. you two live such a domestic life, different from what he's had before you.

ꢾ꣒ on weeknights, you get a lot of take out– mostly chinese, indian and thai because you have so much work to do. sitting together to prepare lessons or grade papers.

ꢾ꣒ if you're not busy, takeouts while rewatching sitcoms (i feel like he watches full house or b99). sometimes you'd play recordings of his games and he thinks you're doing it to embarrass him but really you love tennis era patrick.

ꢾ꣒ during the weekends, you would either go out (outside the city) and explore, hike maybe or just walk around. or you would stay in and make a full course meal together, with candles and music.

ꢾ꣒ you agreed (mostly you) to keep the relationship a secret for a while and he knows how important keeping your personal life from your work life separate is to you so he respects that. and also because you don't know how workplace romance is perceived at work so better safe than unemployed.

ꢾ꣒ he drives the two of you to school so you make him wait ten minutes after you go in before he can. after work, he'd drive over a few blocks from the school and wait for you there so people don't see you going in his car.

ꢾ꣒ he tries to act normal, like you two are just friendly coworkers but he can't help going out of his way to touch you or talk to you. sliding past behind you when you're in the lounge to place his hand on your back. standing beside you and touching your arm with his when you're making coffee. secretly holding your hand under the table when you're sitting down for lunch.

ꢾ꣒ the two of you think you're so slick but literally everyone can see that you're flirting, you're in your honeymoon phase– constantly smiling and whispering to each other, blushing instantly when you make eye contact from across the room. you're not very subtle.

ꢾ꣒ while hanging out with other teachers, someone casually mentions your relationship with patrick and you're like, "huh? what relationship? we're friends" and they're like girl cut it out, we're not idiots.

ꢾ꣒ patrick is so relieved to know that they know because he's tired of (badly) pretending that you're just a coworker. he wants to be able to tell and show people that he's yours and you're his.

ꢾ꣒ the students, of course, find out eventually and being teenagers, they're shameless with their teasings. wolf whistling and squealing whenever patrick would interrupt the class to tell you something (which you know he does on purpose because he's an annoying little shit).

ꢾ꣒ he loves giving you flowers and buying you books, massaging your feet after a long day, setting a bath for the two of you to relax in. his love language is quality time and acts of service.

ꢾ꣒ he couldn't believe how different the life he's living right now from the life he used to have. he's living in a stars hollow-esque town, has a proper job that's not about tennis and has a beautiful partner he comes home with.

ꢾ꣒ he can't wait to marry you in a church and raise a family with you, have kids that will eventually go to your school and he'll teach :")

[multifandom-exe]

Intimidation – S. Reid X Reader 

A/N: this is a rewrite of a fic from like 5 years ago, if you want to check out the original here to see how much has changed. Feel free to leave requests! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK IN COMMENTS OR ASKS PLS i need to know if I'm still writing like I'm 14 😭. Trying to rewrite one fic of each fandom so i get that reach. 

Request: hey could you make a spencer reid x reader where the reader is new to the BAU and she has more PHDs than reid. which makes him super intimidated and insecure (bc he also finds her very pretty) 

  Word Count: 2.1k 

Today was an emotional day. Quickly trying to blink back the tears that burned the back of your eyes, you stared up at the skyscraper. A lump rising in your throat, you reflected on all the hard work, all the time, all the energy, you put in just to be able to stand here right now. Years. Years of school, universities, exams, lack of a social life, and probably enough coffee to kill a small village. All to stand at the doors of the BAU, ready to take on your first day.  

You walked through the double doors, flashing your badge, and security directed the way for you. In a brief call with the Boss, Aaron Hotchner, he had given you a rundown of the people who will be on your team. You mentally revisited all the notes you took, trying to suppress the anxiety crawling up your throat. The elevator bell’s ‘ding!’ interrupted your thoughts. Quickly stepping out, you assessed your surroundings, briefly reveling the fact that you were actually here. You are actually, officially, FBI. You glanced through the double glass doors just in time, to catch a stare from someone you could only assume was Spencer Reid. Your eyes followed as he fiddled and dropped a stack of files on the ground. At his clumsiness, who you would assume would be morgan, followed his line of sight to see what all the fuss was about. His lips curled into a smirk as he said something inaudible to the other team members standing by.  

Looking particularly suspicious, just idling in the corridor, you made your way through the double glass doors. You put on your best smile as a distraction from the blush crawling up your neck. You excitedly walked over to the gathering of people; your happiness evident in every step.  

“Hi! I'm officially Supervisory Special Agent Dr. (Y/N) (L/N). Can you use two titles like that? I'm not sure, but regardless just call me (Y/N).” You beamed like a sunflower as you stuck your hand out to shake, who you assumed to be Emilys, hand. Morgan raised his eyebrow, looking you up and down. 

“Well, hey mama, what a nice Suprise.” He looked over at his team members to find their confused faces but raised his eyebrow, nonetheless. A pretty lady in his midst, Morgan would never complain, especially not when she carries a gun. 

“Team.” Everyone's head turned toward the stairs as Hotch ran down them. “I forgot to mention, new team member, (Y/N) meet, Morgan, Emily, JJ, Rossi, and Dr Reid.” He pointed at each one whilst introducing them.  

Your lips curled into a small smile as you beamed again. “Infamous Dr. Reid, Hotchner told me so much about you, apparently we are going to get along.”  

“Yes uhm.” He coughed, ready to list the facts he knew about you. “She can speak several languages, has 4 PHD’s, In Mathematics, Chemistry, Engineering and Psychology, and she has 4BA’s, Philosophy, Sociology, Linguistics and archeology if I remember correctly, all at the age of 26. Very similar to you.” He took a breath after rattling everything off and gave you a smile. 

“A new resident genius huh?” You and the team turned to the source of the voice, immediately noting that it was Penelope Garcia. You gave a small wave as she walked over. “Our boy genius finally has some girl genius competition.” She smiled as a very speechless Spencer opened his mouth, but closed it again, finding he had nothing to say. 

You turned a confusing look at the girl next to him and spoke. “I'm sure we will have lots to talk about, I'm definitely a talker.”  

You gave him a big smile and God he could've died and went to heaven right there. So many thoughts rattled around his head. He was used to being the smartest person in the room. The one constant in his life was his intelligence. And here you were, looking like a fucking sunflower, taking that constant away. 2 degrees. 2 degrees more than him. He genuinely couldn't wrap his head around it. Attraction and intimidation swirled in his mind like oil and water. The best he could do was gulp down his fear, paste a small smile on his face as you walked away to get situated. 

- 

The hours wore on, and the effect of your first day at work was taking its toll on you. Heading over to the coffee machine, you spotted spencer, making what seemed to be his fourth coffee of the day. “I suppose Hotch was right about you being a coffee addict.”  

A giggle erupted from your throat as his head shot up and his eyes widened at you, looking like a deer in the headlights. And once again, he found himself without anything to say. The anxiety of making a fool of himself in front of someone smarter than him was too much. He just grabbed his coffee cup and ducked back to his desk. Your eyes bore holes into the spot where he once stood, a small frown on your face. Had you seriously offended someone on your first day? Shaking your head, you returned to make some delicious coffee.  

Morgan quickly placed himself on the edge of Reids desk as he sat down. “Our babies will be smart and beautiful.” He mocked in a dreamy voice, breaking Spencer away from his thoughts. 

“What?” He gave Morgan a look of feigned innocence. 

“Cmon, Pretty Boy. Youve already got it bad for wonder girl over there.” At the mention of your name, they both look towards the coffee station where you stood, looking like you were right out of a movie. He stuttered out an attempt at denying his friends accusations, but Morgan simply laughed and clapped him on the back, leaving him a stuttering mess at the thought of you. 

“Briefing room!” Your ears perked up at the sounds of your boss’s voice ringing out across the room signaling you had a case. You turned your head and caught Spencers eye on the way, flashing him a timid smile. Finally, something to draw Spencer's thoughts away from you and your intrepid little mind. 

- 

Having been briefed they introduced you to the private jet. Of course it was met with gasps of astonishment from you, never having seen something so amazing in all your life. Everyone had settled in, and you sat down on the couch next to Spencer, taking in everyone on the plane. “Hey Genius Boy.” The common nickname caused Spencer to look up from his book. “Listen, I'm sorry if I offended you, I'm not trying to take your place as resident genius here, I think we could have some crazy in-depth conversations, if you would actually talk to me that is.” Your hands moved to match your voice, as a giggle left your throat to cover the awkwardness. He stared at you, looking like the human embodiment of his dreams, and decided today was not the day for his brain to fail him, he will not come across as stupid as he feels right now.  

“Thank you, I think we would too, you didn't offend me, I'm sorry, I just get a little anxious about things sometimes. And honestly, I've never met anyone with more degrees than I have.” The way he talked with his hands mirrored yours as he explained himself. You beamed at him after hearing you hadn't offended him, and Spencer swore he was melting. He studied your face and noticed your darker eye bags, and your second cup of coffee in hand. He assumed you'd had a sleepless night. He was all too familiar with insomnia, and first day nerves. “I can move if you want to lay down and take a nap.” A nice offer in his eyes, so he was surprised at your reaction. 

Your hands shot to cover your face as you squealed. “Do I really look that bad?” You spread your fingers to look at him whilst still shielding your face. His eyes shot open as he waved his hands a little frantically. 

“Oh god no! No! You look beautiful, really, I just assumed you were tired because of all the coffee.” He gently grasped your hands and removed them away from your face. A blush creeped up your neck at the compliment, and your hair stood on end at the sudden contact. His hands darted back as he felt his own cheeks darken. 

“I'm kidding Spence, I have trouble sleeping on a good day but thank you for caring anyway.” You smiled at him, taking in his features. God he really was beautiful too. Something about having such an intricate mind made a person all the more attractive. 

In hopes to make you feel better, Spencer did what he did best, and rambled, his hands intricately moving as he practically word vomited on you. “Yaknow, some sleep experts have said that sleeping with someone around, and or cuddling with them, actually improves sleep. Your brain releases endorphins and dopamine and all that good stuff when you cuddle with someone, and it is said that aids sleep. I personally don’t believe in sleep studies, or dream studies for that matter, but it could be something to think about in the future.” He stared at his lap as he finished his ramble. 

“Are you asking me to sleep with you, Dr Reid?” You quirked your eyebrows as endless giggles spilled out of your throat at his reaction. His eyes shot open again and he stuttered out some form of apology. He really needed to get his shit together if he ever wanted to have a normal conversation with you. “Okay, okay relax.” Your giggles faded away as you laid a hand on his arm.  

“I was just suggesting, you know you need to be refreshed for a case, if you wanted to sleep near me, if that's okay with you. I mean I could use a little bit more sleep as well.” He tried to distract your eyes from his searing cheeks as he motioned to his coffee cup.  

A smile broke out onto your face as you nodded softly, heat climbing up the back of your neck at the thought of the close proximity. You had heard Spencer was afraid of germs? Huh, maybe that wasn't the case. With 5 hours left till landing, Spencer retrieved a pillow from the couch opposite and laid it in the crook of his arm. Twiddling your fingers together, you shifted on the couch, moving to slip in between his body and his arm.  

You had never been so glad he couldn't see your face, but at this point, you were sure he could probably feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. You sighed into the comfort, with the thought of sleep weighing heavier and heavier on your eyelids. You took in the scent of his shirt, Pine, and old parchment. You gave it 5 minutes until you were whisked away into dreamland.  

Spencer, on the other hand, had never been so awake. He desperately hoped you weren't able to hear his heartbeat thrum against his chest as you got close. He slightly inched his head to lay on top of yours, the scent of your shampoo absolutely intoxicating him. If it were up to him, he would fly this plane to Antarctica just to be here a bit longer with you. 

Bonus 

The jet took a sharp turn and Morgan looked up from his cellphone. His eyes caught you and Spencer, practically wrapped around each other on the couch. The biggest grin broke out on his face as he laughed under his breath. As quietly as possible, he nudged Emily and JJ, pointing his finger in the direction of the couch. Emily rolled her eyes with an incredulous look, and JJ cooed quietly over how cute you two were. Emily whispered, not-so-subtlety, to Derek. “Take a picture before they wake up.” Quickly digging in her purse and throwing him her disposable camera.  

“I hate you all.” They all broke into silent laughter as Spencer grumbled.  

Since that day, that picture had remained pinned on Spencer's desk. 

-

Let me know if youd like to be on the taglist or anything, and please leave requests!

[hyperballart]

going to a college halloween party where you dress up as ginger spice and bump into the cute boys from the tennis team. you’ve never actually talked to them, but you know their names. they’re the only ones in the kitchen when you walk in to pour yourself a drink and feel their eyes on you. you can tell they haphazardly prepared for tonight with a face paint kit and a dream — the thought of them doing each other’s makeup makes you hold in a giggle.

art has a skull on his face; a bit unsymmetrical and messy but the effort was there. patrick’s a zombie; paint goes down his neck and small drips of fake blood run through the sides of his lips. they both have the other’s face paint colors smeared on their hands which confirm your suspicions of them playing makeover a few hours prior.

anyway, they gravitate towards you when you start making yourself a drink to introduce themselves. they’re a bit desperate, you think, and it’s endearing how they speak over each other to gain your attention. it would honestly be cute if you hadn’t noticed how their gaze would momentarily stay on the strained fabric around your tits or the shortness of your dress.

they start leaning in more and more towards you when you notice how the kitchen has started to fill up, so you suggest going somewhere more isolated. naturally, patrick instantly suggests going upstairs to a room, and you notice how art smacks him as if to remind him to have some decorum.

you still agree — and it’s not lost on you how bad it looks to go up with two boys at once, but everyone else is too plastered to really care.

it unsurprisingly ends with you three licking into each other’s mouths on a stranger’s bed. it started with a boy on each side kissing and licking up your neck — both at different speeds and methods but the same desperation. patrick slowly gliding his hand up to squeeze your tit while art panted in your ear while touching you through your panties.

you feel the tents in their pants and immediately get to ordering them to pull them out. patrick has a lazy smile on his face when you spit on your hand and grip him. art’s head falls back once you lube up his cock with his own streams of precum.

when you feel them breathe right up against your neck again you sigh breathily, alternating in turns of your head to slot your lips at each one. you end up meeting in the middle as you start to increase your strokes on them. the sound of spit passing and slick sounds of your fist mix with the panting and moaning until you start to lose rhythm.

you lean back to catch a breath and watch as art and patrick start to make out with each other instead, and the pausing of your hands only encourages them to start fucking into your fists. they whine and twitch until your lap and fingers are covered in their cum.

when they lay back on the bed next to you, they rub you through your panties until you come and kiss you as you regain composure. they ask for your number and you let them know you’ll be in contact.

when you make your way back downstairs to the bathroom you notice weird looks on your face and as you check yourself out in the mirror you notice the mess of face paint and fake blood smeared on your neck and cleavage.

[luimagines]

Modern Dance (1800 Follower Raffle)

Our second place winner was @mickleloaf!!

They asked for a somewhat continuation of The Chain Hanging out in Modern! Reader's House, in which they find the music/Just Dance. Which you can read the "first part" right here.

You don't have to read it to get this one though.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

“Alright boys.” You called their attention when the sun had already set and the movies had run their courses. After the Lion King, you had put on Pirates of the Caribbean and Kung Fu Panda- which probably wasn’t the best idea because now the boys were taking turns punching and kicking each other in an effort to replicate the movie. “We’re going to change the pace a bit.”

“By doing what?” Wind held a pillow threateningly over Sky’s head. The poor boy had fallen asleep a while ago and was dead to the world for all anyone knew. You had no idea how he managed to sleep through the chaos but everybody has a skill.

“We’re going to dance.” You grinned and turned on the video game console. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you to all our music, but there’s too many genres to choose from and you all have way too much energy for this time of night. We’re going to burn it all off.”

Many of the boys had settled down, watching in fascination as you turned on the systems and switched the controls. They all sat up a little straighter when the colors of the game turned on. It took a controlled effort to get them to step away form the screen instead of shoving their faces up to the characters.

You scrolled through aimlessly and picked an easy level to begin with.

“Rancher, Captain?” You asked sweetly. “Can you help move some of the furniture out of the way? I’m going to put multiplayer mode. We can have up to four at a time.”

“Meaning?” Wild chipped in, helping the other boys push the couch and the tables out of the way.

“Whoever dances the best or most like the person on the screen, wins.” You say gleefully. And maybe just a tad hint of evil.

These boys were competitive. You were to see them at each other's throats… metaphorically. …Mostly.

After giving a few more orders to clear the space, you stepped aside and  selected the song. With a gleam in your eyes, you pointed at Wind, Wild and Hyrule. “You three versus me. Come on.”

Wind jumped front and center without hesitation, Hyrule walking forward with a curious tilt to his head. Wild was the only one who was hesitant to step up to the “platform”, so to speak. It made you calm down a little bit and smile softly. “Relax. It’s not magic. Everything you see will stay there. Just like the stories I put on earlier.”

“Do we even get an example?” Hyrule tilts his head.

“What do you think you are?” You giggle and start the song.

At once the lights flashed and the music started. Having already played this song a number of times, you knew the beats by heart and continued the routine without missing a strike or a pause. The other boys… were less coordinated. …But that’s you being generous.

You think Wind might have smacked Warrior by accident at some point in the attempt to do the moves, but you blame the Captain. He shouldn’t have been that close then.

You win the round. Perfect score. 100%, unsurprisingly.

“I want to go again.” Wild growls. “That’s not fair. You didn’t explain what we were supposed to do properly.”

“I’m next.” Legend raised his hand. “I actually did a dance battle before.”

“No. That means you wait.” Four shoved him playfully. “Give the rest of us a chance to make a fool out of ourselves before you dominate.

You laugh and turn to Time. “Do you want to try, Old Man?”

He grins before shaking his head. “These old bones of mine aren’t as spry as they used to be. I’m content to watch.”

“If you say so.” You shrug, already thinking of ways to wear him down just so he could dance to at least one song.

You step out so that other boys can step in and have a turn. Warrior, Four, Wild and Twilight take the next round. You tried to find another easy song that they would be able to follow without much difficulty, but here is where their competitiveness came through.

Wild tried to trip up Warrior. Twilight pulled on Wild’s hair. Warrior ‘nudged’ Twilight straight into the couch and Four won the round by blaming the hits that he dealt straight onto the other boys.

In an effort to save your house from burning down prematurely, you switched them all out and danced the next round with Wind, Legend and Hyrule.

No one wanted to wake up Sky.

You picked a harder song, if only to trip up Legend. But you should have known better. Not only did he already admit to doing a dance battle before, he already had two rounds to watch and observe what not to do and what to do to get points.

He would have almost won if you didn’t know about the bonus points for hitting the striking pose on the right beat.

“WHAT!!” He screamed. “How did you get double the points!?!?”

“You have to hit it with enough passion.” You teased and kept dancing.

It was the needed points for you to win the round, but goodness, did he give you a run for your money.

Switching out again, you began to work and tease and wear down Time to get him to dance.

It didn’t work.

Within the hour the boys started to fall asleep one by one. The others with the energy to do so helped move them to a bed roll and away from the dance floor so they wouldn’t be trampled on once the wrestling started. Because wrestling would start. That was not an if, but a when.

Time actually went down after Twilight did. Between those two and Sky, the other boys were way more hyped and loaded with sugar that they still needed to work off.

You played for three hours.

The only one that lasted the longest was Four and even then, you were willing to bet he could have kept going if you weren’t ready to fall over and pass out yourself. You groaned and turned off your console. “I’m going to pay tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t moved like that in a long time.” You steal the couch and throw your legs over Sky. You’d doubt he’d mind. “I moved muscles that hadn't been moved since I was last home… I can feel them yelling at me.”

Four chuckled and also got down to take the lounge chair. You envied him. He was small enough to sleep comfortably there. “You won most of the matches. I’ve never seen you swing your arms around with such reckless abandon.”

“This is my house.” You grumble. “I had to defend my title and my territory… Besides, you’re all just as, if not, more competitive than I am. There was no way any of you were going to go easy on me.”

“Fair enough.”

“Good night, Link.” You smile, allowing your guard to fall for the first time in months and finally get some needed rest.

“Good night.”

[halarealmadridd]

rizzy

pairing. jude bellingham x vs!reader genre. fluff warnings. none request. victoriasecretmodel! reader and jude soing a couples interview and jude keep on flirting with her author‘s note. uhmm so i kinda fell asleep while doing this so this is uploaded a bit late!

the camera slowly focused on you and jude sitting on a sofa, tangled in each other’s arms. your head was resting on jude‘s chest, feeling his chest steadily rise up and down.

the director gave you a thumbs up to signal that you could start speaking.

“hello i’m y/n” you introduced yourself. “and i’m jude” jude continued.

“and today were going to be doing a couples interview” you said while clapping your hands together and sitting up. jude’s hand made it’s way to your thigh, squeezing it a bit.

“where did you guys meet?” one of the staff members asked curiously.

“funnily enough we actually met through instagram, i mean i didn’t know who jude was so he was the first one that messaged me and asked for my number” you explained while sensing that you had just lowered jude’s ego.

“you didn’t know me?” he gasped while dramatically putting his hand on his chest while his mouth was wide open. you giggled at the sight. you loved this dramatic and “quirky” side of jude.

“where was your first date” another staff member challenged.

“of course inside. we had a nice little cozy movie date whilst eating cake and popcorn. we couldn’t go out, obviously” jude explained while rolling his eyes.

“i still remember when you burned the popcorn” you laughed at the memory.

“i didn’t burn it it just toasted i don’t know what happens, how could you even burn popcorn in the microwave” he complained.

“i don’t know, maybe ask yourself” you joked, receiving a small slap to your waist from jude.

“did your modeling career affect your relationship at all?” someone questioned.

“i mean yeah, we couldn’t really eat everything on our dates, or i atleast couldn’t cause i was on a diet” you frowned. “also we couldn’t spend a lot of time together as i had to travel for shows and jude had to travel for international competitions so our relationship was just facetime at one point” you continued, explaining the down sides of your relationship.

“what is one thing you guys will always have different opinions about?”

“baked beans” you revealed.

“what are you on about they are divine” jude said defensively, as baked beans where his favourite food.

“i just cannot eat them without throwing up, like the texture is just so icky and they don’t taste like anything ew” you said, making a gag sound.

jude rolled his eyes at your dramatic behaviour.

“well, that’s it for today time to wrap it up” the director said making you feel relieved.

“hope you guys learnt something new from this video, goodbye” jude waved.

you both got up from the sofa and made your way to the parking lot where your car was.

“can you get a driving’s license already i don’t want to drive”

“shut up you little rat” he spat back, making you laugh. you pressed a kiss to his temple and started driving home.

[nikethestatue]

All Hallow's Eve

An Elriel Halloween fanfic

Summary: Rhysand, the High Lord of Night Court enlists his sister-in-law Elain Archeron to plan a city-wide celebration of All Hallow's Eve. As she is still new to being Fae, Rhysand suggests a helper--Azriel, who would guide her through the process and show her the ropes.

Over the next few weeks, they plan the celebration together, they visit the Historian, and they end up together at Azriel's secret mansion, finally free to confront their feelings for each other.

TW: Explicit Sexual Content

Words: 13,229

-

“I’m gonna show you where it’s dark, but have no fear.” 

Day One

“Elain,” Rhysand called out her name from his office. 

She paused, surprised, because he rarely included her in any discussions and she was called to his office…well, never.

She pushed the door and entered. The High Lord sat behind his large desk, the portrait of her sister behind him. Watching.

Elain had to admit it–Feyre’s turned out to be a gifted painter after all. What had started as a childish hobby and endless doodles, morphed into something introspective and emotional. What Feyre perhaps lacked in technique, she compensated with the sheer visceral impact of her paintings.

“Good morning,” Rhysand said and gestured for her to sit down. She took a place across from him and allowed herself to be enchanted by his lavender eyes, which brimmed with starlight–a sight she was still getting used to.

“How are you, Elain?” Rhysand asked, his voice smooth and vaguely concerned.

“I am well, Rhys. Thank you for asking,” Elain answered politely. 

Internally, she felt both trepidation, and excitement. Because she was never asked to come to Rhys’s office. She was relegated to the gardens, to the nursery, the kitchen. Never called into the inner sanctum. 

Yes, she was part of this Court, and whenever she was called upon to serve, she did it eagerly and without hesitation. But she was typically used as a pretty doll at parties and balls or meetings with emissaries. Not unlike what her mother used to do when Elain was young–a pretty doll to dress up and parade around, introducing her to the guests. Elain didn’t mind it: she was well-versed in the matters of hosting and entertainment, and even the uncouth and ill-mannered Fae straightened in her presence and didn’t insist on behaving like beasts. 

“How are you?” she asked in turn, her stomach tightening with anticipation.

What if today was the day? The day Rhysand, the High Lord of Night Court, would actually ask for her assistance in some task. Would use her powers and skills of observation for a specific purpose. Would she be finally used for something important and meaningful?

“Oh, I am well,” he leaned back in his chair. “The babe kept us up for a few hours, but then he fell asleep so I can't complain.”

Elain smiled politely and shifted in her seat, the impatient movement catching Rhys’s all-seeing glance.

He folded his elegant, aristocratic hands on his stomach and then asked,

“Do you know what All Hallow’s Eve is?”

Elain furrowed her brow, confused by the question.

“Pardon?”

“Have you heard of it?” Rhys repeated.

She shook her head. 

“No. What is it?”

“You didn’t celebrate your dead in the Human Lands?” he confirmed.

Elain bit her lip and shook her head again. No. The dead were burned in the river and then remembered by their families, until all generations died out, and with them, all the memories as well. The wealthy, they had different customs of course, as did those who lived on the Continent. Elain’s own grandparents and mother were buried properly, and had elaborate gravestones in the family cemetery. But the cemetery was gone along with Elain’s childhood estate and the only time the family members were remembered during the years of poverty was when the sisters lit a candle on the anniversary of their passing. 

Only Nesta refused to light for their grandmother. 

“No,” she answered curtly.

She didn’t want to remember. Any of it.

He nodded calmly, unperturbed as usual. 

“It is a night when we remember our dead,” he explained. “It is not a night of sorrow, but of celebration. We light bonfires, we leave sweets outside our doors, we exchange foods to please the ancestors, and we drink in their honour. What Calanmai is to Spring Court, All Hallow’s Eve is to Night Court.”

Elain thought about it and then asked cautiously, “and you and Feyre then…have to,” she swallowed audibly and felt her cheeks heat, “have to,”

He smiled mischievously, watching her discomfort.

“Have to what, Elain?” Rhysand prompted. 

She sighed. 

“You know exactly what I am referring to,” she told him, her tone dry. “Will you be fornicating in public then?” Like they do at Calanmai?”

She’d never seen it, but she heard stories about orgies out in the open and sexual acts performed by the High Lords. 

He chuckled and assured her, “don't worry, it won't be something we’ll subject anyone to.”

“Thank the gods,” she breathed with relief.

Rhysand’s eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Is it something you’d like to experience then?” he queried with amusement. “I could arrange a trip to Spring for you, come spring,”

“That won’t be necessary,” she stopped him quickly.

“Alright then.”

“So, what about this Eve?” she questioned, “do you wish me to bake something? Cook something?” her voice was small and quiet. She wished that he’d asked her for something meaningful.

Rhysand scrubbed his chin and then resumed his relaxed position.

“So, the custom is to host a gathering,” he said at last. “Obviously, due to various reasons we’ve been unable to have a proper celebration for half a century. This year though, I feel we are in a good position to resume the festivities properly.” 

She leaned forward in her chair and watched him intently, trying to understand what he wanted from her.

But she didn't need to wait long, because Rhysand announced,

“I’d like for you to take charge of the event.”

“Me?” she cried out, shocked.

“Yes, I think you’d be the perfect candidate. Just understand that this is not a small family celebration–this is a large gathering, on par with Starfall. Dignitaries will be coming. We are looking to return to normal, and this is one of the ways we’ll do that.

“I feel that you’d be excellent for this task,”

“Wait,” she interrupted him quickly, “but I don't know anything about what’s required! How am I expected to plan this…event, when I never saw it or know,”

“Oh don't worry,” he stopped her smoothly. “Of course I wouldn't expect you to do all of this on your own and by yourself. The twins will help, surely.”

“But,”

“And I feel that another person should be available as well,”

“Who?”

Elain shuddered internally, hoping that he wouldn't suggest Nesta. It’s not that she didn’t want to work with Nesta, but planning parties with Nesta…well, calling the experience a ‘nightmare’ would be kind. Nesta was opinionated, mean and impatient. Precisely the type of person one wouldn’t want to plan a large gathering with. 

“Azriel.”

Rhysand’s tone was even, and he sounded almost bored.

Elain’s eyes, though, popped open at the ridiculous suggestion.

Azriel?

Azriel who barely talked to her, who said that their almost-kiss was ‘a mistake’, who avoided her at best, and ignored her fairly regularly…THAT Azriel? Azriel who hardly struck her as a party maker either.

Gods, now she wished for Nesta!

She also wondered if Rhysand’s been hitting that fairy wine stash that he had in his possession, because she’s never heard anything more preposterous.

“Pardon?” she said for the second time in 15 minutes.

“Azriel,” Rhys repeated blandly. “It’s his turn,”

“Turn for what, exactly?”

“We used to take turns every year, organising the festivities. How do you think Azriel is so well-versed in the usage of proper cutlery, dancing, music and good etiquette? He isn’t a savage. Now, Cassian, on the other hand,”

Elain snorted a laugh.

“In any event,” Rhys shrugged. “You ought to consult with Azriel and make plans with him. That would take the pressure off of both of you…”

It would?

Elain couldn’t think of anything more pressing than working with Azriel. 

“Are you certain that there is no one else who could help me?” she implored.

“Unfortunately, not this year,” Rhys explained somberly. “Nesta doesn’t have experience, Mor is back in Vallahan, Amren…well, she is tougher than Azriel, though I might ask her,”

“No!” Elain exclaimed. “No. I…I will try it with him. “

“Good. I’d rather not ask Cassian, because then I’ll end up handling most of it. It’s settled then?”

She exhaled heavily.

No, it wasn’t ‘settled’, but what was she going to say?

“Yes, I will do it.”

“Thank you, Elain.” 

Rhys smiled at her, but he sounded genuine in his praise and gratitude.

“You should begin promptly,” he suggested. “There isn’t much time left, honestly. It sort of escaped my mind this year. Well with all the things that happened,” his voice trailed and Elain understood. After Feyre’s pregnancy and the horror of her birth, parties weren’t Rhysand’s priority.

She stood up and smoothed her skirt.

Rhys gave her a small nod of encouragement and before she left the office, said, 

“Azriel is here right now. In his rooms. You might as well start the discussions as soon as possible.”

Oh.

Elain didn’t know.

Both Cassian and Azriel had rooms in the River House, however, they were in a different wing and they could come and go as they pleased. 

Feyre had explained that the wards in the townhouse were very strong and admittance was stringent. Rhysand and Mor were the only two people who could come and go as they pleased, and the other three needed to be admitted. Well, with everyone now either coupled or living here, permissions were a little more lax, but the wards were even stronger than before. 

After leaving Rhys’s office, Elain stopped in the middle of the hallway, and contemplated her next move.

Would it be absolutely uncouth to go up to Azriel’s rooms and knock on his door? 

Should she send him an official invitation to join her? 

That seemed a bit over-the-top even for her. 

Perhaps ask Nuala or Cerridwen to explain the situation to him? 

Have Feyre summon him?

Request that Nesta invite her over, whilst Azriel was at the House of Wind and ‘accidentally’ bump into him?

Elain tugged on her braid aggressively, but then stomped her foot in frustration.

He was just a man. Nothing more.

A man who seemed to have been attracted to her once. Maybe not. Maybe she read the signs wrong. But regardless, he wasn’t better than her. Wasn’t intimidating in the least. She was a Cauldron Made Seer. He was a spy and a shadowsinger. She was pretty sure that she outranked him anyway.

Resolutely, she headed towards the other wing of the house, her hands balled at her sides and her fingernails digging into her palms. She reckoned that she resembled Nesta right now. It didn’t matter. She was going to do it.

When she came to Azriel’s door, she heard faint music coming from inside. 

He had obtained a Symphonia for himself, because Nesta refused to let him ‘borrow’ hers at some point, since he was taking it all the time and listening to it himself. What’s more, he also added melodies and dances that he liked to it, and deleted some of Nesta’s–or at least she couldn’t find them–so they argued and that prompted him to buy one for himself. 

Elain took a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in,” she heard his voice almost immediately, and then she opened the door.

Azriel had three rooms–his request–which consisted of an office, a bedroom, and a sitting room, and Elain’s never been here, though when the house was built, she suggested some of the colours and decorations for his rooms. She wasn’t even sure why she did that. Why it mattered to her. 

Stepping into his office, the first thing that happened was Elain was blinded. She gasped, surprised to be enveloped in complete darkness. 

“For the love of the Cauldron, get away from her!” she heard Azriel’s deep, gravelly voice somewhere in the darkness. 

Shadows…These were his shadows. The gathering of shadows, which were caressing her skin now:  they touched her hair, her neck, her cheeks, her hands. 

“I said back off,” she heard Azriel’s command, and at last, the wall of shadows thinned and they pulled back as if being sucked into a vortex. 

Elain squinted and heard Azriel say “forgive them. They got excited. They haven't seen you in a while.”

And whose fault is that? Elain wanted to ask, but she didn’t.

As they typically did around her, the shadows then disappeared completely, leaving her with Azriel.

“I thought they didn’t like me,” she said quietly.

With a sigh, he told her, “no, they like you. All of me likes you.” 

At that, Elain’s eyes finally found him and she stared.

He cleared his throat.

He sat behind a desk, instantly reminding her of Rhysand. Unlike most other times, Azriel was dressed casually, and Elain dug her feet into the soft rug, trying not to squeeze her thighs together. 

His tunic was simple, but clearly bespoke–everything that he wore was tailored specifically to him–of a deep cornflower blue, and unbuttoned on his chest. His bronze skin worked beautifully with the colour of his shirt and Elain couldn’t help but admire how good he looked. She also couldn’t help herself as she peeked at his sculpted chest and his thick, veiny forearms, which he folded on the desk in front of him.

His huge black wings loomed over him like two mountains, but they didn’t seem as rigid as they usually appeared. It was almost as if Azriel was…relaxed.

But it wasn’t his elegant tunic, or his golden skin, or his muscles, or his thick black hair that attracted Elain’s attention the most–though all of those things certainly kept her occupied–but it was a pair of spectacles that was perched on his nose that took her aback.

Spectacles existed in the Human Lands, though they were expensive and rare. Only the very wealthy could afford them, and that if they lived long enough to need them. Most people just got by the best they could.

Azriel wearing a pair of black-rimmed spectacles wasn’t what Elain expected to see this morning.

“I am old, you know,” he said suddenly.

“You aren’t though!” she argued immediately, even though she wasn’t sure what he was referring to.

“I am. In your years, I am probably 33 years old. Maybe 35.”

“It isn’t old!”

“You are not yet 25,” he reminded her. “You are so young!”

“Not yet?! Young?” Elain cried out. Was he insane? She was a spinster! Even when she got engaged to Graysen there were many who whispered that she was getting on in her years and that being almost 22 was almost too late to be getting married. 

He raised his brow at her, giving her one of those ‘Azriel looks’ which he tended to shoot on occasion at people around him. It was a look of incredulity and disdain. She wasn’t the receiving end of the look before, and now that she got the eyebrow lift, well…it was scary and lonely on the other side of that look.

“You wear spectacles,” she stated the obvious.

“It would seem that I do.”

“Why?”

“Because I read a lot and need to protect my vision,” he explained. “These help me–they are slightly magical.”

Slightly magical.

Only in Prythian could something like that be uttered and actually make sense. 

“Well, they look good on you,” she blurted out, and then mentally smacked herself for her big mouth. She shouldn't even be noticing how he looks!

Azriel smiled. 

And then, they just stared at each other. 

His office was very spacious and with south-facing windows. When the house was being designed and constructed, it was Rhysand who told the artisans and the architects that Azriel’s rooms ought to have as much sun exposure as possible. Elain recalled the moment, because she was there–Feyre and Rhys were there, Amren too, and no one questioned the request. 

“Not that I am not pleased to see you in my rooms,” Azirel said at last, leaning back in his chair and taking the same pose as his brother did earlier, by lacing his long, strong fingers on his flat stomach. Elain could see the smooth ridges of his abdominal muscles even from here. She shouldn’t have been looking. But he was borderline indecent, sitting like that, folding his hands on his stomach. Who did that? It should’ve been illegal!

“However,” he continued, observing her with a smirk, “I am curious about the reason for your visit? It’s most unusual, is it not?”

“It’s not like I want to be here!” she told him quickly.

He smiled and then removed his spectacles and placed them on the desk.

“And yet, here you are.”

“I am supposed to plan a party for All Hallow’s Eve and you are supposed to help me.”

Azriel looked both amused and a bit perplexed. 

“Why did you choose me, specifically?” he queried.

She huffed and shrugged, “I didn’t. I didn’t ask for you specifically.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, only stared at her and then mouthed soundlessly And yet here you are. 

“It’s because Rhys told me!” she argued defensively.

“Told you what?”

“To ask you because it’s your turn to plan the party anyway,” she even rolled her eyes at him, which made him grin.

“I am supposed to plan a party?” he repeated.

She sighed with exasperation and exclaimed, “must I repeat everything? Are you not supposed to plan the celebration? Why are you acting like this is news to you?!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he said calmly, “it must have skipped my mind. It’s been a while since I’ve done it,”

“That’s what Rhys said as well,”

“I bet he did,” Azriel nodded. 

“He said that you are supposed to help me and teach me,” she clarified.

A faint smile bloomed on Azriel’s lips and he murmured, 

“I can certainly teach you a thing or two.”

Elain squinted at him, trying to determine the meaning behind his words, but opted not to comment. Instead, she asked, “well, will you?”

“What?”

“Help me?”

“I will,” he agreed at last. “Just need to refresh my memory.”

She nodded primly.

“When do you want to start?” she asked.

“How about tomorrow morning? I can finish up everything else and then throw myself head first into party planning,” he rubbed his hands together with fake excitement.

Elain threw him an unamused look, but nodded and said, “I shall see you tomorrow at 8 in the morning.”

“Oh, eight?” he repeated.

“Yes. Eight.”

Once Elain left his office with a swoosh of her green dress, Azriel tugged on the mind link that connected him to Rhys rather aggressively.

“Ow!” the High Lord complained.

Azriel seethed, “You are such an asshole. The biggest asshole I’ve ever met.”

Rhys laughed on the other side.

“Surely not the biggest?” he argued.

“The biggest.”

“I take severe umbrage to that because you know Jurian, Beron and you knew my father. I am an honourable High Lord, that’s all.”

“Yeah, you are,” Azriel’s voice trailed. “What the hel are you doing? What is this party nonsense?”

Rhys thought for a moment and then said lazily, “I feel like you are floundering. You need a change of scenery and pace. So this is an order.”

Day Two

She arrived exactly at eight in the morning.

Carrying binders. 

Large journals with blank pages, which, Azriel supposed, she planned on filling out with information.

Azriel was in the kitchen, talking to Nuala, a cup of milky coffee in one hand and a pistachio pastry shoved in his mouth, crumbs all over his front, when Elain strode decisively inside.

She was clutching all her binders and journals to her chest and Azriel noticed that they were also different colours.

“Morning!” Elain said cheerfully, and Nuala smiled, noting, “You’ve got some pep in your walk today!”

“It’s a big assignment!” Elain declared importantly.

“You know,” Azriel attempted to say something contrary but she shot him a look of such fierceness that he shut his mouth and continued chewing.

She slapped each binder on the counter, stating loudly:

Guests.

Food.

Decorations.

Venues.

Other things.

Azriel chortled and muttered other things under his breath.

“That’s why you are here, isn’t it?” she asked, “to tell me about things I don’t know.”

“Sure, I can tell you what to do,” he offered easily.

Nuala hid a smile.

Elain squeezed the bridge of her nose and moaned, “this is going to be difficult, isn’t it?”

“Not if you don’t make it so.”

Pursing her lips, Nuala stated, “he is very difficult to work with,” and with that, and before Azriel could argue, she disappeared through the wall. 

“How’s this fair?” he yelled after her.

Only a soft laugh came in response. 

“Alright, so,” Elain opened the first journal, “I was thinking…”

“You should get some breakfast,” he interrupted her.

“I don't want it, I am not hungry!” she protested, but Azriel poured her a cup of coffee and plucked a pastry from a stand and handed it to her.

“Eat,” he ordered in a tone that didn’t allow for arguments.

Elain pouted, but accepted both the coffee and the pastry, noticing that the coffee was exactly how she liked it and the pastry was made with apples and almonds–her favourite.

But that, she was sure, was just a coincidence. He wouldn’t have known how she liked her coffee.

“So, how many guests do you think we should invite?” Elain asked, as she sipped her coffee.

Azriel looked at her with amusement, until she glanced at him and then reached out and suddenly wiped some of the buttery crumbs from his chest, carefully picked at the ones that stuck to his black jacket.

He stood still and silent, while she cleaned him up, clearly unaware of what she was doing. Her brow was furrowed while she concentrated and smacked his chest up and down. He liked it. He tried to contain his smile, but it wasn’t easy. Outside of long-forgotten brushes of fingers, this is the most Elain’s ever touched him.

Abruptly, she realised what she was doing and pulled away.

“I think you missed a spot,” he pointed out innocently.

“Ugh, why didn’t you tell me to stop?!” she exclaimed, her cheeks pink and her tone flustered.

“Why? I was enjoying it,” he said simply.

She bristled and hissed, “you don’t even like me!”

His face lost its softness and the expression hardened.

“I never said that,” he snapped.

“Yes, you did,” she insisted.

“No. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

She waved her hand dismissively,

“I don’t want to talk about it. We need to plan the party and then part our ways.”

“Sounds good to me,” he agreed, his face unreadable.

She caressed the blank pages of her journal and asked,

“How many guests usually attend?”

At that Azriel shrugged irritably and said, “I don’t fucking know…”

Her eyes popped at his coarse language.

“Haven’t you done this before?” she insisted, looking annoyed. 

“Been a while. Anyway, don’t you think you are jumping ahead of yourself?”

“How’s that?”

“Shouldn’t you find out more about the holiday? Before you start inviting guests.”

He looked at her like a disappointed teacher and she breathed a small ‘oh’.

“Come on then, we have a trip to make,” he extended his hand to her.

She looked confused, but took his hand without argument. Unlike all the others, she always took his hand without argument.

She grabbed her pastry and hurried after him, forgetting her pristinely new journals behind.

“Where are we going?” she asked, running after him as he took massive strides with his long legs.

“Just follow me!”

“But where are you taking me?” she insisted.

He gave a derisive snort and threw, “to be ravished!”

She wasn't even bothered by the callous remark and said, “I thought we are a mistake and you weren't interested.”

“Guess things change,” he said nonchalantly.

“Well, they didn’t change for me!” she screeched.

“Don’t care.”

She tried to stop, but he pulled her behind him and she was forced to trot obediently so she wouldn’t fall.

They were outside on the lawn in no time and the next moment, Azriel was in front of her, looming over her, his expression stern and dark. He released her hand from his, only to move to her shoulders, squeezing them, but not tightly. He peered into her brown eyes and said,

“I don’t want you to bring that night up anymore.”

It wasn’t a request. It was an order.

She glared at him and reminded her firmly,

“It was a pivotal night in our…association. I cannot not bring it up. It…” she swallowed. “You hurt my feelings,”

“And I apologise for that. But if we are to work together on this celebration, we can’t dwell on the past. One day, I might explain myself further. Is that understood?”

“I am not one of your soldiers to bark at,” she glowered at him.

He smiled at her and then gently tucked a rogue curl behind her ear.

“No, you're not. You are my lovely girl.”

“I am not yours,” she breathed, blinking at him.

He sighed heavily and was forced to agree. “So it would seem.”

“I am nobody’s girl,” she concluded wistfully.

Azriel wasn’t sure what to make of her words. On one hand, he was pleased that she didn’t seem to be Lucien’s girl, and that she didn’t go further into her relationship with her mate than before. On the other hand, she didn’t consider herself being his girl either. And that didn’t please him at all, though he couldn't blame her.

“Where are we going?” she asked again.

“To see the Historian,” he said.

“Why can’t anyone in Prythian have a normal name? Like Sebastian? Or Pascal?” she moaned. “Or Roan? Why is it always the Death God. The Bone Carver. The shadowsinger. The Weaver. The King. The High Lord.”

“Well, out of all of those, shadowsinger sounds the most reasonable and attractive,” he reasoned. “Also, aren’t you the Seer? Aren’t you Made?”

She scoffed with disgust and asked instead, “how are we getting there?”

“Winnowing. As much as I’d like to spend days flying there with you in my arms, I don’t think that’s the wisest course of action.”

With that, he opened his arms and winked at her, “Come, step on in, Seer.”

Wrinkling her nose, she warned him, “you better stop calling me that!”

He chuckled, and then gave her an Illyrian salute. 

“Is it dangerous?” she asked cautiously, once he pulled her into his embrace and wrapped his arms around her.

“Isn’t everything around here?” he asked innocently. 

Azriel smelled good–his scent was sharp, with undertones of cedar, and something cool and clean, like water. His body was like a slab of granite–massive and firm and so clad in muscle there wasn’t one soft spot on him. 

Winnowing with him was different from winnowing with Rhys or with Feyre or Mor. His was a pure, but comforting darkness. As they tumbled through space and time, his arms tightened around her, keeping her securely anchored to him. All she could see was the faint gleam of his blue siphons.

They landed in a few minutes, on the outskirts of a massive forest. In the distance, Elain spotted a village of some sort, but closer to them stood a stone hut with a thatched roof. Azriel released her from his embrace, but immediately tucked her behind him, protecting her with his body.

Good thing he did, because just as they stepped towards a retaining wall that surrounded the hut, a rock was hurled in their direction. Then another. And another.

Elain crouched on the ground, protecting her head, while Azriel just about fell on top of her, covering her with his body.

“They are throwing rocks at us!” she screamed, stating the obvious.

His wing shot out and not a moment too soon, because a rock bounced off of it instead of hitting Elain in the head.

“No? You think?!” he grunted, and then a rock landed almost on his shoulder, but using some incredible move, he pressed on his siphons and suddenly, the rock bounced off an invisible shield. 

“By the Mother,” Elain whimpered, “why are they throwing rocks at us?”

“Probably don't know if we are friend or foe,” he proposed.

“That’s no way to greet strangers,” she fumed.

He laughed softly, his hand cradling her head to his shoulder. 

“It is for the Fae.”

Then, once a few more rocks bounced off the shield, Azriel bellowed,

“Old man, if you don’t stop tossing boulders at us, I will rip your arm off and will beat you to death with it.”

The barrage paused.

“Shadowsinger?”

“The very same!” Azriel confirmed.

“Well then why didn’t you say so?! Come in!” the tone was happy and welcoming.

Azriel finally straightened out and Elain squeaked, “is it safe?”

“I won’t let anything happen to you, flower. Come on,” he grabbed her hand and hauled her up.

“Flower?” she repeated, straightening her dress.

“My flower,” was all he said.

A male of an undetermined age greeted them. He was on the older side for a Fae, but as far as Elain knew, it could’ve been 5,000 years old. It was impossible to tell. 

They crossed the lawn in front of the house, Azriel holding her hand firmly and for once, she was glad that he was holding her.

“Azriel shadowsinger!” The man greeted them with a smile. “It’s been a while,”

“I’ve been busy,” Azriel said.

“I can see that. Brought a woman, finally!”

Elain blushed at the man’s words and Azriel cleared his throat.

“She isn’t my woman,” he corrected the man. “She is Elain, Cauldron Made Seer, and the High Lady’s sister.”

“Oh. Well, if you would’ve warned me you were coming, I would’ve made tea!”

He ushered them inside the house–it was neat, if small. Late autumn chill dissipated the moment they entered and were directed to sit down by the hearth. 

“What brings you here, shadowsinger?” the man asked, as he fussed around a simple wooden stand, preparing tea for them.

“Lady Elain would like to learn more about All Hallow’s Eve. Its history and customs. We are to host a party and she needs the background. And I…I just need your insight.”

“Ahhh, of course,” the man stated and then brought them two cups of tea. Elain accepted hers, and noticed that there was a slice of lemon in it–just like she liked it. When she took a sip, the tea was strong, sweet and tart. 

“This is excellent,” she complimented the man. Upon closer inspection, he had a forgettable face but luminous blue eyes. Strange and deep and penetrating. When he observed her for a moment, she had a sense that he was somehow looking inside her soul. She wasn’t sure why she needed it, but she reached out for Azriel’s hand and he threaded their fingers together without question. He didn't seem surprised that she needed a bit of his strength and solidity.

“So, Lady Elain, what would you like to know?” the man inquired, taking a seat across from them.

“Azriel said that you are a historian?” she asked.

“Indeed I am. I’ve been alive for a long time and I’ve seen much, but I’ve also forgotten just as much,” he smiled. “But I can offer what I know about Samhain.”

“Samhain?” she repeated, confused.

“The name of the festival is Sam-hain actually. It means summer’s end in the Old Language. The old Fae celebrated it at the end of autumn and the beginning of winter.

“We have a few festivals that all of Prythian celebrities: Solstice, with which you are familiar, I am sure,”

“I am,” she nodded and Azriel added,

“She gives the best gifts!”

It was a pointless comment as far as Elain was concerned but it made her feel nice nevertheless.

“Something of healing and protection, I reckon,” the Historian said.

“How do you know?” Elain exclaimed, feeling her heart beat faster at the man’s sudden words.

“Just an inkling,” he stated vaguely, and continued, “the other holiday is Calanmai, known as Fire Night in some Courts. Hallow’s Eve is the other. These are celebrated across all of Prythian, unlike, for example, Starfall, which is only observed at Night Court, where the stars are visible.”

“What does it celebrate?” Elain questioned.

“The dead,” the man said plainly. “The Fae of old believed that the spirits of the dead returned to their homes on Samhain, and that the souls of those who died during the year would travel to the afterlife.”

“Is it true?” Elain asked, a little scared.

“Perhaps,” the Historian shrugged indifferently. “But you’ve been inside the Cauldron. Inside the Void–surely you wouldn’t be frightened of a little ghost.”

Elain paled and Azriel shot the man a threatening glare.

“Enough,” he muttered.

The Historian’s blue eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, before landing on their linked hands. 

“We celebrate Samhain with bonfires, dancing, divination, and wearing costumes. The bonfires are lit to guide the souls to the afterlife and to frighten away evil spirits. The old Fae also wore costumes, often animal heads and skins, to avoid being recognised by the evil spirits. This continues to this day.”

Elain’s head swirled towards Azriel and she scoffed incredulously,

“You wear a costume?!”

He smiled.

“I do.”

“What kind of costume?!” she exclaimed.

The Historian also smiled. 

“Death,” Azriel said bluntly.

She popped her lips,

“Of course you do.”

“You asked,” he shrugged.

The other man somehow forgotten, she chewed on her lower lip, pondering out loud,

“What kind of costume should I wear?”

“Anything that you wear looks good,” Azriel assured her, his large hazel eyes skimming her from her face down to her waist.

She glanced shyly at him and murmured, “no, I don’t.”

“Oh, I assure you–you do. What do you want to be?”

“I don’t know,” she worried. “What’s a good costume?! Oh gods, I bet Nesta wouldn’t even want to wear one!” she gasped.

“We’ll convince her,” Azriel said confidently. In response, Elain gave him a look. 

The Historian watched them in silence, his eyes skipping from one to the other. Whatever he saw, he kept his opinion to himself. Instead, he told Elain,

“I would recommend dressing as something that would confuse the spirits. I sense that you had experienced a loss recently?”

“I…how, how would you know?” she gawked at him, squeezing Azriel’s fingers with hers.

“I have a gift. A gift of Sight,”

“Like me?” she gasped.

“No. Nothing as advanced or as intricate as your gift. I see…threads. How they bind people and things together. Because everything is connected. Every single decision that you make will guide your path. Look at your life right now–who would’ve thought that you’d be sitting here, in my home, holding the shadowsinger’s hand in yours?”

Elain looked down at Azriel’s thumb that was stroking the fleshy part of skin of her hand.

“Who did you lose?” the man continued. “Your sisters live…So I suspect a parent?”

“My father.”

“Ahhh, condolences then, Lady Elain. This will be your opportunity to offer him a safe passage to the Land of Milk and Honey.”

“What sorts of threads do you see?” Elain asked, ignoring the rest of what he said. “What kinds of connections?”

“All kinds. Every kind.”

“And what do you see between us?” she asked boldly. 

Azriel looked at her with surprise, but didn’t say anything. 

The Historian cocked his head to the side and then told them.

“You are mated.”

At that, Elain jolted, looking at him in bewilderment, only to hear him add, “To another.”

Her expression fell and she said dryly, “yes. I am aware.”

After a pause, they continued their talk, the man proving to be a wealth of information, especially when it came to food customs. 

-

Days Three and Four

Anemone.

The Historian told them that anemone, the flower of the dead, was the plant that was commonly used for decorations. Especially the red ones with black centres, and the white ones. It was especially important for those who had lost close family members recently. And who didn’t, after the war?

The problem was–where in the world would Elain find anemone this time of year? Or in Prythian?

It grew in the Human Lands, and Elain was familiar with it–a pretty field-like flower which needed a lot of sun and bloomed in the summer.

She contacted all the flower shops and green nurseries in Velaris, but none carried the mysterious flower.

Besides this flower dilemma, things were going well with the preparations.

She and Azriel spent a lot of time together, which was something she needed to get used to. But he was gentle and helpful, and she recalled the carefree times from before when they could just talk and stay together in a comfortable silence. It was similar to how they were together right now. 

There was something that Azriel was preoccupied with ever since they had returned from the Historian. Elain wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but she overheard the man say to Azriel just as they were leaving…well, she wasn’t sure what she’d heard. A couple of words. But ‘your right’ and ‘destiny’ were among them. Since then, Azriel seemed deep in thought whenever they had a moment to themselves. Elain didn’t pry though. His secrets were his own.

Meanwhile, together, they devised a guest list–Hgh Lords and Ladies, merchants, dignitaries, High Fae, Lesser Fae, Illyrians. It was a long list, but Elain wanted to be inclusive of everyone. When Azriel began protesting the inclusion of Illyrians, she told him that they had suffered the greatest losses in the war and therefore were definitely going to be part of the celebration. He pouted. Pouted. Told her that they wouldn’t attend anyway. She smiled and said ‘we’ll see’. 

-

“Marshmallow eggs,” Azriel announced, interrupting, as he entered the kitchen.

Elain, Cerridwen and Nuala turned at the sound of his voice.

“Excuse me?” Elain said, wondering what he was talking about. 

“Oh,” Cerridwen rolled her eyes, “here we go,”

“Yeah!” Azriel nodded aggressively. “Yes! I want marshmallow eggs!”

“We’ll get you marshmallow eggs,” Nuala promised kindly.

“That’s not all,” he insisted and then pointed to the journal in front of them, which was filled with rows of food ideas, some underlined, others scratched out. 

“This is what I want,” he handed them a list. He made a list.

The following was Azriel shadowsinger’s list of food requirements:

Apple cake with almonds

Pistachio and almond rolls

Bilberry tarts

Chocolate sponge with buttercream

Caramel carrot slices

Coffee sponge with walnut cream

Cheesecake with pears

Curd tarts

Lardy cakes

Jellies

Prune pastries with poppyseeds

Jam Rolls

Saffron bread

Topfen cake

Cake Florent

And no, Elain did not know what half of these were.

“Are there enough cakes and pastries?” she confirmed, glaring at him.

“Yes, but I forgot to add the marshmallow eggs,” he exclaimed, and then scribbled this addition on the page.

“Will your heart be able to handle it?” Elain pondered, unable to stop smiling. He was ridiculous.

“A better question is if Cassian would be able to handle it,” Cerridwen contradicted. 

“Oh, add honey cake with hazelnuts,” Azriel snapped his fingers, ignoring them and apparently running through all the possible sweets he could come up with in his head.

“Poor Cass,” Nuala shook her head, “the sheer amount of sweets will send him into convulsions!”

“Don’t care! He doesn’t have to eat any of them,” Azriel barked roughly.

Elain propped her cheek and asked, looking between the three of them, “what is this all about, exactly?”

“The shadowsinger likes his sweets,” Nuala said flatly.

“He is obsessed,” Cerridwen added.

“I am not obsessed!” Azriel argued.

“He is. He really is.”

“He will eat them all,” Nuala assured.

“He will,” Cerridwen echoed.

“He is obsessed with sweets. If you want him to bow to your will, just hand him a berry tart and he is all yours.”

Elain laughed at that.

“I’ll keep that in mind!” she promised.

Azriel threw her an unreadable look and said, “you wouldn't need to bribe me with anything.”

With that, he left the kitchen.

The twins exchanged smirks and glances and Elain warned them, “don’t start.”

“We didn’t say anything.”

-

Day Nine

Five days until the celebration and Elain Archeron was annoyed.

She was annoyed because Rhysand gave her so little time to complete all of this and come out on the other side with an incredible celebration. 

The twins were an amazing help, as usual, and she enlisted cooks and chefs from Velaris’s best restaurants and pastry shops, but it still didn’t seem like enough. Azriel’s enormous list of sweets kept growing, and Elain had to resort to hiding the final list because otherwise, if he had his way,  they’d end up with a hundred desserts.

Pumpkins were delivered from nearby farms and were placed strategically all around Velaris, and the entire city glowed with orange lights, which came courtesy of Rhysand’s magic. Beautiful embroidered Illyrian tablecloths and napkins were sent to the River House, and despite Azriel’s protestations, it seemed like numerous Illyrians would be attending the festivities. Cassian was pleased and astonished by this particular achievement–he couldn’t believe that Elain somehow convinced dozens of Illyrian commanders to come to Velaris for a …party. 

Azriel was in charge of negotiating with proprietors of various stalls and shops, and since he always came back with perfect results and signed agreements, Elain figured that the poor sellers at the Palace of Bone and Salt were so terrified of having to deal with him, they agreed to anything. Azriel was oblivious to his own menacing presence, and sweetly believed that he was just an excellent negotiator. Elain didn’t have the heart to dash his hopes. He was rather proud of himself and she preferred to keep it that way.

Despite some of the setbacks and miscommunications and the tight deadline, things were progressing nicely.

Except for the Cauldron blasted anemone!

It wasn’t available anywhere. 

Elain had asked Feyre to speak with the High Lords of other Courts–the warmer ones–and see if they were aware of the flower and whether it was blooming right now? Tarquin of Summer and Helion of Day said ‘no’, while it was pointless to ask Viviane of Winter. The one High Lord that might have actually had the flower at his Court was Tamlin of Spring, but alas, Elain wasn’t motivated enough to obtain the flowers if it meant forcing Feyre to communicate with him.

Therefore, anemone remained elusive.

Azriel was helpful and knowledgeable in some things, and for that Elain was grateful, for in other things, he was hopeless. The way he acted sometimes, she would’ve thought that he’s never done this before. Supposedly they all had planned this holiday celebration prior, and yet he seemed mystified by some of the questions that Elain asked him. Granted, he was a male. And Elain’s expectations were fairly low, and she repeatedly told herself to be grateful that she was doing this with him and not Cassian, for example. However, it still frustrated her when Azriel couldn’t answer simple questions. 

When he grew frustrated with something, or somebody annoyed him, he began calling her ‘beautiful’ or ‘flower’ as in ‘I really don’t remember, beautiful!’ or ‘Flower, why don’t you make a decision?’ And it’s not that Elain wanted to agitate him on purpose, but she liked it when he used the little pet names, and maybe, just maybe, she teased him unnecessarily at times, just to have him throw a ‘beautiful!’ at her. Beyond the little slips though, Azriel always kept an appropriate distance and didn’t permit himself any frivolities with her. Which, Elain supposed, was for the best anyway. Especially because her mate was coming for the celebration. 

Of course he was. 

It was late in the afternoon and Elain was going through her checklist to make sure that everything was in order. She hasn't been sleeping well in the past few days, overwhelmed by the sense of responsibility, but also, Azirel’s endless close proximity. It didn’t matter that he kept his distance–Elain didn't want him to keep his distance, but she also dreaded not being near him. Each hour was spent watching him, and Elain never got tired of it: the dark tattoos that peeked from his collar and his sleeves, how he crossed his arms on his chest and the biceps bulged obscenely against the material of his tunic, his long legs, always splayed just enough to cause Elain some uncomfortably pleasant thoughts. She loved watching him. Loved hearing his voice, its gravelly, deep timbre. When she didn’t allow herself to watch him before, she now ogled because it was acceptable. 

“I am not sure if I should tell you this.”

Azriel’s voice startled her and Elain jolted in her chair. She raised her eyes and saw him standing in the doorway.

He was looking down, fumbling with his sleeves, not meeting her eyes.

“Tell me what?” she asked softly. “Because whatever it is, you do want to tell me, otherwise you wouldn’t be standing here.”

He smiled.

“You got me there.”

“So what is it?” she twirled her pen in her fingers, watching him.

He thought for a few long moments and then said,

“I know where to find anemone.”

The pen slipped out of her fingers as she lurched upwards and cried out, “you do?!! Why didn’t you tell me?!!”

He rubbed his chin and then said,

“It’s complicated.”

“Oh…” she moaned. “Of course it is. Do I have to fight some monster in order to obtain it? If that’s the case, then count me out,”

He chuckled,

“Even if I am there to protect you?”

“Even then,” she concluded firmly. “So, where is it?”

“You won’t need to fight a monster,” he assured her at last. “Unless you think that I am one?”

Elain stared at him and then spoke, “no. You aren’t. Not to me…”

Azriel looked straight at her and asked, “Will you trust me?”

She stood up and nodded.

“I trust you. Nothing that you do or what you are frightens me.”

He glanced out the window. Thunderclouds were gathering over the mountains and the wind picked up, making the hanging lanterns swing violently outside the window.

“We’ll have to hurry. We’ll winnow part of the way, but then we’ll need to fly,” he told her, extending his hand towards her. Elain looked back at her opened journal, grabbed it just in case and then took his hand. 

“Where are we…” she began saying, but she didn’t get the chance to finish her thought as she and Azriel were sucked into the vortex of darkness and space. 

“Goooiiinnnng?” she breathed out once they landed on a grassy field. She stumbled and held her tightly around the waist, steadying her.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“No need. Took me a while before I learned how to land properly.”

Elain looked around. There was nothing as far as the eye could see but rolling hills and oak trees, as well as grazing sheep.

Azriel opened his arms and said, “Jump on, beautiful.”

Elain tugged on her dress nervously and stepped closer to him. Flying in someone’s arms was always strange–whether it was Rhysand or Cassian. The feeling multiplied by a hundred when she was flying with Azriel. He always held her differently from the others–tightly and reverently. Like she meant something to him. Like she was precious and he cared about her and her comfort.

Gracefully, Elain stepped into the circle of his arms and he lifted her easily, his arms solid, secure bands under her knees and behind her back.

“Arms around my neck,” he instructed.

Rhys never asked for that. Neither did Cassian.

Elain squinted at him but did as he told her and looped her arms around his neck.

It always fascinated her how they lifted off–no running, no preamble of any kind–just straight up in the air. Cassian liked to do all kinds of stupid, reckless things, and Rhysand was more gentle and careful, but Azriel was…slow and gradual. And that was perfection. That’s exactly how Elain loved being lifted off the ground and then hang precariously in the air, hundreds of feet above the ground. Azriel’s massive wings flapped so hard and so powerfully, they caused a booming sound to reverberate in the cold air around them. And it was cold. She shivered and curled closer to his wide, warm chest.

“It’s not a long flight,” he calmed her. “I am sorry, we should’ve taken your jacket. Sometimes I forget that regular Fae get cold.”

“And you don’t?”

“No, I don’t. I got used to it.”

The way he said it…It wasn’t a good memory and Elain didn’t want to press him on it.

“I'm alright,” she lied.

He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter.

“So, where are we going?”

“Home.”

Day Ten

Home.

Azriel, the spymaster of Night Court and shadowsinger, brought Elain Archeron home.

They were flying over the soft sloping hills, which gradually gave way to rocky cliffs, until Elain spotted a glistening purple-blue lake. 

“It’s so beautiful,” she gasped under her breath.

It was indeed. Even in the gathering storm on the horizon, the lake churned and smashed against the rocks on the left, but was calm and pristine on the right. And then, she saw it. A small, but not too small island, which poked out of the water a few miles from the shore. It was rocky, but covered in green grass and thick tree canopies of various autumnal colours. In the middle of the island, similar to the House of Wind, stood a massive mansion, which seemed to float above the water and pop right out of the rocks. 

“Is this home?” Elain whispered, amazed and flabbergasted.

“It is,” Azriel nodded. 

And then she understood why they were flying. An invisible barrier–wards–brushed against them, but parted as Azriel approached. Their strength was such that even he had to power through the invisible wall of magic.

As if reading her mind, he explained, “I thought that the House of Wind had a good idea in terms of security–you cannot winnow inside. When I purchased this place, I felt that it would make good sense to do the same here.”

“That’s why we have to fly,” she stated. 

“Yes. We can winnow onto my lands,”

“All of that was yours?” she exclaimed in shock.

“Yeah. But the wards start at the shore, and then continue all the way to the island.”

As he began banking it was then that Elain saw it.

Anemone.

Fields of it.

Slopes covered in multi-coloured beds of flowers. 

“How is this possible?!” she cried out excitedly.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “They’ve always been here. I never paid attention to them. I don’t even come here all that frequently, so I sort of forgot about them. Until the Historian mentioned them.”

“Don’t you think it’s very serendipitous?” she marvelled. 

“I suppose that these are the connections that he was speaking of,” he reminded her, as he landed smoothly on one of the balconies. 

“We must pick them at once!” Elain decided right then and there, and Azriel chuckled at her eagerness.

“Fine. I’ll get some baskets.”

-

The thunderstorm brought them back inside after about an hour and a half of picking flowers, placing them in different baskets, sorted by colour. Azriel found something out about Elain that he wasn’t aware of before–she could keep things alive. A wave of her hand and the cut flowers promised to be just as fresh as they were today by the time the holiday rolled on. Azriel wished to find out more about this ability of hers, but he didn’t think that it was appropriate to do today.

By the time they ran back into the house, they were dripping wet. Azriel probably could have thrown a shield over them, but frankly, it totally slipped his mind.

So now, Elain stood in front of him, shivering from the cold, her dress clinging to her curves, her long hair dripping on the parquet floor.

“Oh gods, I am such a mess!” she fussed, trying to stop the deluge of water that was leaking onto the floor.

“It’s not an issue, you know,” Azriel mumbled, threading his fingers through his wet hair. “I am sorry I forgot the shield,”

“It’s alright!” she interrupted him, her lips blue but her cheeks red. “Are we…we…returning soon?”

He considered, looking outside the window.

“It’s coming down rather hard and we’d have to fly. Not that I can’t fly in the rain, however, I’d rather not do that while carrying you,” he told her honestly. 

“Oh,” she wrung out her hair, “but then…what do we do?” she blinked at him, her blush growing redder.

“You need a hot bath,” he said firmly and then took her by the hand and pulled her after him.

Elain looked around–it was a place that she’d imagine Azriel living in. Stylish, seemingly out of a different era and another world, orderly, clean. Large pieces of furniture, smartly arranged in the rooms. Wide open spaces. Unfussy decor, but expensive taste.

They walked up a stone and wrought iron staircase and soon Azriel opened one of the doors, ushering Elain inside.

It was a bedroom.

She assumed his bedroom.

Her feet stopped moving and she froze at the entrance, murmuring, “I cannot…I can’t…”

“It’s this or nothing,” he said bluntly and pushed her inside, his warm, large hand on the small of her back.

“This is your bedroom!” she screeched, scrambling backwards.

“A keen observation indeed. You are staying here or we are flying back in the pouring freezing rain. These are your choices,” he warned dangerously. Then, to soften his approach, he pointed to the door and said, “the bathing room is over there.”

Elain pursed her lips, while feeling a warm glow slowly slither down her body, despite the wet chill that she was feeling. Azriel…Azriel was forbidden. A mistake. He told her that they were a mistake about 11 months ago. But in the past ten days, he certainly hasn’t been acting like he was regretting being next to her. In fact, he was downright amorous in some ways, even if he tried not to show it. All that aside, what was she even thinking? She needed to keep herself and all her carnal urges in check.

“Fine!” she hissed. “But I am counting on you to be honourable and,”

“Whatever you say,” he shrugged. “I am not here to ravish you.”

Nevertheless, he followed her into the bathing room. There was a massive tub, but also a shower–something that Bryce Quinlan told them about from her world. Nesta, of course, jumped at the opportunity to get one fitted at the House of Wind. It would appear that Azriel was also in favour.

“Don’t take too long,” he said, turning on the knob, “I am cold too.”

“So, are you going to just stand here, while I undress?” she queried. 

“Wouldn’t mind it,” he replied over the rush of the water from the showerhead. “If you need any help,”

“I shan’t require any!” she snapped at him primly and he laughed merrily. 

“If you say so. The drying cloths are all here,” he pointed to a cupboard. “I think you can figure out soaps and lotions yourself.”

“Thank you.”

The hot water was beginning to steam the room and she looked at him through the fog.

Stop. Thinking. About. It. 

“Last call for assistance?” he offered. 

“I am fine.”

“Your loss,” he shrugged and then left the room at last. 

Elain exhaled loudly. If it wasn't for the heat in the bathroom, she would’ve guessed that she was sweating. 

Quickly stripping off her sodden dress, she stepped under the water and moaned out loud. Her hand immediately flew to her mouth and she muted herself, hoping that he didn’t hear her. His laughter from the bedroom confirmed otherwise.

She lathered her body, then her hair, and stood under the blast of hot water for gods’ only knew how long. But it was glorious. And she didn’t want to leave. 

At last, she remembered that Azriel was also wet and cold and probably needed the shower as well.

She rinsed and stepped out, noticing that the floor was heated and pondered whether it would be something that Rhysand should add to the River House.

“You decent?” Azriel asked, and before she could answer, he pulled the door open, clearly unconcerned by whether she was actually decent or if she stood there butt naked. 

“There is no food,” he announced quickly, unbuttoning his shirt, pulling on strings in the back and releasing it from around his wings. Elain just stood there, wrapped in the drying cloth, barefoot, with her legs exposed, staring at him openmouthed. He was just….undressing. In front of her. 

The gall!

He didn’t seem to care, because he continued shucking off his clothes, going on to unlace his trousers, and added, “but there was hot chocolate and I made you a cup. It’s on the nightstand.”

“Are we spending the night?”

“We are,” he nodded. 

“Where am I sleeping?”

“Your choices are: my bed or my bed. Granted, it’s not many choices to actually choose from, but that’s what it is.”

This man was out of his mind, and Elain didn’t know what to say.

“Grab a tunic of mine or you may sleep naked,” he offered. “I am fine with either one, though I do have a preference.”

“I can only imagine…” her voice trailed.

She slipped out of the bathing room just before he dropped his trousers. 

In the bedroom, she finished drying her body and her hair, and then went to the chest of drawers and found a white tunic of his. She put it on over her naked body, only now recalling that all her clothes, including her undergarments, were in the bathing room. Well, nothing she could do about that now. She was tired. Despite being extremely wound up, she was tired. She cradled the cup with hot chocolate in her hands and took a sip. It tasted divine–sweet and rich and so very chocolatey.

She couldn't even wrap her mind around what she was doing when she pulled the covers and slipped into the bed. She didn’t know what side Azriel slept on, and she didn’t care. Surely he wouldn’t actually sleep with her in the same bed! That would be preposterous.

The sheets and the pillows smelled fresh, of Azriel’s cedar-like scent. She rolled onto her side, tucking her hands beneath her cheek and then glanced towards the bathing room. The door was ajar and her heart jumped in her chest, when she glanced at Azriel’s completely naked body. Brown and glistening and beautiful beyond belief. He was muscular, and his tattoos spilled down his back, his chest and there was a whole string of some kind of runes etched down his spine. At some point, he must have felt her eyes on him, because he smirked and glanced in the mirror, catching her staring. His wing flipped back and exposed him completely, soliciting a gasp from Elain’s lips. Because…there it was. 

Huge.

He was huge.

Her eyes bugged out of her head, as she observed him. 

Even flaccid, he was enormous. ‘Impossible to fit’ enormous.

Granted, Elain wouldn’t consider herself very knowledgeable in the art of the bedroom, and had only seen one other cock in her life–Graysen’s. But Graysen was a mortal man, tall and strong, but human. Azriel wasn’t human. That much was obvious. Even if she managed to forget a pair of great reptilian wings that sprung out of his back, his height, his size and his physique definitely didn’t make him human. And now, there was that. Also, utterly inhuman. Yes, she was Fae too, and very hard to break, but Azriel’s cock would certainly break her. 

He was better for fantasising, and not for reality.

A boom of thunder woke her up. She slept so deeply, she only vaguely heard the steady drumming of rain on the balcony and against the windows. Sleepily, she extended her hand out and for a moment expected to find a warm male body next to her, but the sheets were cold and she was alone in the bed. 

She didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved. 

She also didn't know if he’d gone to bed at all, or if he slept somewhere else in the house. 

Opening her eyes, she saw that it was still dark outside, with only the palest glimmer of sunlight peeking above the horizon, beyond the lake and the mountains. It was windy and dark, the night skies slashed repeatedly by lightning strikes and claps of thunder. 

It was during one such flash of lightning that she saw a great winged figure standing outside on the terrace. He was wearing only his black undershorts and his wings were relaxed, the bottom tips touching the floor.

She wasn’t sure why, but Elain tossed the blanket aside and set her bare feet on the soft carpet. She tugged on the hem of the tunic and then padded softly to the balcony. Cold autumn air lashed at her the moment she stepped outside and she shivered, though it seemed that Azriel didn’t even notice the pelting rain that bounced off the railing and peppered him with freezing water. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he suddenly snarled at her, without turning his head. “Go back inside.”

She stopped abruptly in her tracks, taken aback by his vicious tone.

“Did…did I do something?” she whispered.

“No. You didn’t,” he turned on his heels, so quick that she stumbled and almost fell back, but his massive arm caught her before she fell. 

His look was furious though, his brows bunched above his nose, his expression both angry and pained. He gripped her upper arm tightly, almost bruising her and then pulled her towards him. 

“A…z…” she breathed, shocked because in the next moment, he suddenly lifted her off the ground and pinned her to the wall of the building. Her legs naturally wrapped around his muscular thighs and he grabbed her hands, pinning them above her head, his face all but an inch away from hers. There was a moment of stillness, where there was just the cold rain and the lightning slashing the horizon, and their warm, panting breaths.

Elain’s mouth parted slightly, as she watched him and the indecision on his face. So she cocked her head to the side, exposing her throat for him, offering him everything he wanted from her. And she watched how his expression morphed into something sensual and decisive, as his lips found hers and he moaned softly into her mouth.

Everything, everything she wanted finally came down to this moment and it felt perfectly right. Even the brutality of the kiss didn’t take away from the tender longing that always lived between them. Azriel’s loneliness, his self doubt and self-hatred, Elain’s insecurities and her cursed bond–all were washed away by the fusion of their lips together.

This was Azriel. Her Azriel, whom she craved and yearned for since the night they saw each other back in the Human Lands. Kept apart by people, circumstances, obligations and expectations, right now, in this moment, maybe they could just come together and forget all about the things that separated them. 

He was hot and big and once he released her hands from his hold, she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him to her, burying her fingers in his thick hair.

“I want to bite you,” he groaned against her neck.

“Bite me then,” she welcomed.

“There would be no going back, you know,” he warned. “Not if I bite you.”

He hefted her higher, her unbound breasts sliding up and down his bare chest, the thin material of her tunic the only barrier between them. He stepped even closer, pressing her hips and her bottom into the smooth stone of the house wall and Elain felt him…scorching and eager and ready for her. Azriel didn’t bite her yet, but instead, trailed soft, hot kisses down her neck, her shoulder and stopped at the swell of her breast, before pulling her nipple roughly inside his mouth and sucking aggressively, his teeth clamping on the little swollen bud.

She cried out, in both pain and incredible pleasure, while propping her feet against the stone railing and giving him more space to manoeuvre. She needed his mouth. His hands. His body. All of it. The thought of this monster of a man becoming hers was dizzying and it was making her feel drunk. Azriel’s massive shoulders moved and flexed beneath her hands, while he sucked on her other nipple and she managed to reach between their bodies and pulled down his underwear, freeing that beast of a cock at last. 

There was no going back now. Even if she knew that should she say ‘no’ he would stop, she didn’t think that she could do it. She didn’t want to stop. She let him pull back from her breasts and grip the tunic firmly, before ripping it off her and leaving her naked in front of him. Her long hair tumbled over her torso, and he brushed it back impatiently, his eyes glued to her form.

“Every day I dream of you,” he whispered heatedly, stepping forward so that he was positioned between her thighs, “I dream and I know that I cannot have you. And I want to tear apart the world and destroy the Cauldron for not giving you to me. Because you are mine. You know this. I know this. You’ve always been mine.”

He gripped the thick length of his cock in his hand and rubbed the sleek, heavy head of it between the lips of her pussy. She moaned, throwing her head back against the stone, shivering and shaking with need and anticipation.

“I am,” she managed to say. “I am yours. Always have been. You were chosen for me,”

“And yet,” he began to say, but she clamped her hand over his mouth. 

“Nothing really matters. Only you and me. Together.”

He looked down again, his shaft dark and sturdy between her pale thighs and against her bare mound. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve imagined possessing this sweet pussy of yours?” he marvelled, his voice hoarse. “Three years of celibacy…only because I knew that no other pussy would compare. No other pussy interested me.”

He fisted his cock harder and lined it along her wet, warm hole, which quivered at the feel of him. 

“Are you a virgin?” he asked, pausing. “I could never tell…”

She shook her head.

“I’ve done it. Once.”

A smile bloomed on his mouth. 

“Once?”

She nodded.

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise gentleness,” he said honestly.

She felt the head of his cock part her entrance, pushing in just a bit.

“I don’t need you to be gentle. I need you,” she said simply.

He still held himself in check, just the tip of him inside of her, the stretch already agonisingly pleasurable for her. She moved impatiently, trying to take in more of him, but he held back.

“Like I said before, beautiful,” he warned, “once you are mine, you are mine. Damn your mate, damn Rhysand, and damn everything else. Once I own you, I own you forever.”

“Then own me,” she growled. “Take me however you want. Use me. Fill me up with your seed. Control me. Bleed me with your cock. Give me everything.”

His hazel eyes turned dark and menacing.

“Own my pussy,” she offered. “Own my body. Leave your scent all over me, so that everyone knows who I belong to.”

Azriel chose not to argue at that moment, and instead, he pushed his massive, scorching shaft deep inside of her in one brutal, solid move. 

She cried out into the storm, enveloped in his darkness, in his love.

Just like she expected, he was fucking massive. It was like being split in half by an unyielding ram, and she shook on his cock, momentarily wishing that it would just end and he’d withdraw.

But no. With her breath ripped away by every tiny movement of his shaft, she secretly wanted more. She clenched pathetically around him, while he dipped his face to her neck and licked her skin. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and he pulled almost all the way out, before shoving back in and biting her neck at the same time.

The pain between her legs and in her neck made her feel faint, as he savagely tore through her pussy, marking her, moulding her, taking her for himself. 

“Auuu,” she moaned, scratching his back, while he sucked and bit her neck. It hurt so good, but it hurt nevertheless.

Instead of stopping or easing, he thrust even harder in her, deeper, opening her up completely.

“Take it,” came his order. “Take it all.”

“I am,” she breathed. “It hurts.”

“Good,” he said simply. “It should. An Illyrian warrior and a Fae is taking your soft, wet pussy for the first time. Of course it would hurt.”

She clung to him, getting pounded in with savage, deep thrusts, her pussy both needy, but on fire from how large he was. 

“Do you like it?” she whispered, kissing his lips. “Am I taking you well?”

He smiled and stroked her cheek. 

“My perfect girl,” his tongue brushed her lips. “With a perfect little hole for me to use. Do you like it, sweetheart?”

She nodded, moaning, “it’s so big.”

He smirked, “oh, I know, flower. Your pussy is full of the largest Illyrian cock and you are taking me so well.”

For some absurd reason, that made Elain proud. 

“I am going to turn us around, beautiful,” he told her, “so I can ride you harder.”

She barely even understood him, but allowed him to do what he wanted. 

He spun her around, and she propped her hands on the railing, her fists getting pelted with rain at once. His large, warm hands smoothed down her back and over her behind with appreciation, and he kicked her legs wider apart, before inserting himself back inside her battered hole.

“Oh gods,” was all she managed to groan, while his hand clamped on her shoulder and he held her steady, as he pounded into her.

Her breasts bounced hard from his rapid thrusting, and he looked at them, craning his neck, and smiling.

“How are you doing, beautiful?” he asked, wrapping his fist with her hair. 

“Like I am being railed by the biggest Illyrian cock,” she grunted and he laughed heartily. She couldn’t help herself and laughed as well.

“And?”

“I love taking your cock,” she vowed softly. “I love all of you on me. Please ride me,”

“Oh, I am, flower. You are getting ridden for the three years of me not riding you.”

He dipped his fingers inside her mouth and said, “suck”.

She did. She licked and sucked his scarred fingers, feeling wild and out of control.

“You should’ve taken me earlier,” she told him, once he pulled out from her mouth and she looked over her shoulder at him. 

He looked at her, barely able to tear his gaze away from his shaft pumping in and out of her pink hole, and nodded, “I should have. I should’ve claimed you for my own right after the war. But, there were complications.”

She sighed, and he slapped her ass cheek lightly.

“Now, to rectify this a bit, you will fuck yourself on my dick, like the good girl that you are, but you will also pull apart your ass cheeks for me,” he commanded. 

Elain bit her lower lip and then reached down wordlessly, while he held her shoulder, and did as she was told–even though he was crude and she was embarrassed, she grabbed her bottom and pulled her cheeks apart for him, exposing her little hole.

She watched for his reaction over her shoulder and his face split into a satisfied grin. 

“Perfect,” he approved. “From now on, whenever you are taking me from behind, you will keep yourself open and your little asshole on display.”

She didn’t respond, too overwhelmed by how deeply he was driving into her. What he did next took her breath away completely–he circled her asshole with his fingers and pushed two inside. 

“Ahhhhh,” she cried out, stilling.

It felt…insane.

With his mega dick inside of her, and now his fingers in her ass, she thought that she was going to faint. He stopped moving too and then said sternly, “I didn’t hear you say ‘yes, of course’.”

She nodded frantically. 

“Yes, I am sorry. Yes, of course I will.”

“Now, show me how much you like my dick in your pussy. Fuck yourself on it. I’ll finger your little hole while you do it. If I don’t like how you take me, I will stop.”

And Elain did what he told her. 

She wasn't sure why, but she wanted to submit to him. Her neck ached from the bites. She moved her hips on his cock, gliding over it. She wanted to please him. She wanted to serve him.

He was rough and demanding, objectionable in every way, but she couldn’t get enough of him. Of his body. His musk. His cock.

His gaze made her insides clench with desire for him. Everything about him was perfect–his stunning body, his dominance, his control. He knew what he wanted and he took it. 

Banding his arm around her stomach and waist, Azriel pulled her back, and then, with his dick and his fingers still inside of her, he plummeted heavily on the padded bench, taking her with him. 

“I want to watch you climax, sweetheart,” he whispered warmly in her ear, while he fucked up into her from the bottom. Her whole body was trembling and spasming with pleasure and each push of his cock brought her closer and closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. 

“I want to,” she breathed.

“I know,” he kissed the side of her neck, gently tweaking her nipple with his available hand. “Give it to me. Show me.”

Her fingers dug painfully into his knees, her breathing rugged and loud, as she squeezed him inside of her, milking him with her inner muscles.

Hot seed shot deep inside of her and she felt the moment that he released, as she cried out with desperation and shuddered violently atop of him. Unravelling a man like Azriel was something that made her strangely proud. It wasn’t something most women could claim, yet he was undone beneath her. 

“Beautiful,” he whispered into her cheek and then turned her face, so he could kiss her.

She was gasping for air as she kissed him messily, licking his tongue and his lips. He stroked her hair, smiling at her.

“Was that good?” he asked.

She nodded, “Indescribable.”

“Wonderful. But that was just round one. Now, I want round two…”

“Again?” she gasped.

“Did you think we were done?” he laughed.

“But…”

“You will turn around and sit on my face,”

“WHAT?” she exclaimed, eyes wide, her pulse beating wildly beneath her skin.

“You heard me.”

He carefully lifted her up off his still-hard dick and looked at her with male satisfaction.

He’d made her bleed. 

She wasn’t surprised exactly. He probably tore something inside of her. Graysen’s human member was no match for Azriel’s Illyrian cock. 

“Well, look at that! maybe I took your virginity after all,” he joked, and then leaned back on the bench.

Elain stood there, watching him in all his sprawling, relaxed glory.

He was indeed a beast, dressed in the skin of the most beautiful Fae imaginable. 

His skin glistened in the early morning light, the tattoos taking on a life of their own. He was firm, and solid all over, his body an unforgiving network of scars and muscles. His wings were spread out, a magnificent border around the two of them.

And he was hers.

Somehow, he was hers.

She lowered herself on his lap, straddling his thighs. He cupped her breasts in his hands and then leaned in to kiss her.

“You are dripping with my seed,” he noted, looking down.

She blinked and nodded. 

“I am.”

She was.

“Best sight I’ve ever seen.”

He bit her neck again, gentler this time. But then asked,

“I told you to sit on my face, not my lap.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t disobey me again, or I’ll punish this pretty pussy.”

She exhaled. There was nothing to say to his vulgar words. She was all in. With him. 

-

All Hallow’s Eve

“Death? Really?” 

Rhysand’s sarcastic voice interrupted Azriel’s consumption of a walnut and cinnamon bun. The shadowsinger turned around and cocked a disbelieving brow at the High Lord. 

“You are dressed as a spy,” he scoffed. “Are you really the one to talk?”

“Maybe I always wanted to be like you. Lurking in the shadows. Ravishing maidens.”

“I don’t have to ravish them,” Azriel argued, his eyes never leaving the sight of Elain, who was dressed as the Death of Spring–her face carefully painted, her costume decorated with large flowers. She flitted about the enormous reception room, chatting with guests, smiling, drinking spooky cocktails. 

The mansion was decorated with pumpkins and bundles of anemone, candles suspended high up in the air, phantom wind blowing gently and ruffling everyone’s unique costumes. 

Nesta was dressed as a black swan and it suited her. Cassian came to the party dressed as a wizard, and now was dancing with Feyre, who was dressed as a…huntress. Not very original, in Azriel’s opinion, but he kept that to himself.

“The maidens come to me themselves,” Azriel pointed out.

“So it would seem,” Rhys sipped his liquor. “You know,”

“Really not interested in what you are about to say,” Azriel waved him off.

“Only that I can smell you on her…”

“Good. As you should.”

“Her mate is here.”

“He is too late.”

Azriel looked Rhys straight in the eye and asked,

“Care to explain this whole ‘we took turns preparing the Hallow’s Eve party’ bullshit that you concocted?”

The High Lord chuckled.

“Oh, you liked that?”

“I am not sure,” Azriel admitted truthfully.

If it weren’t for Rhysand’s involvement, Elain wouldn’t be walking right now with Azriel’s seed dripping down her thighs.

“No, she wouldn’t,” Rhys smirked.

“Fucking stop that!” Azirel snarled.

“You can thank me later, brother,” Rhys clapped him on the back. “She bought it. You understood the assignment. And now…” his voice trailed. “Now she is yours at last.”

She was.

“She is,” Azriel nodded his confirmation. 

My right.

My destiny.

My woman.

[restricted-on-13th]

Kaishin but it's The Bachelor

Be warned: this is a long post

I'll make at least 3 follow-up post for this, one for all the scenes I lost (ohmyfricking, my ice skating scene, ferrish whell confession, amusement park date, meteor shower escapade, night dances and my tango dance which is half of the masquerade, the outsider povs too sooooobbb) and the other two for Shinichi as the Bachelor instead or a mix of the two

Now for those who don't know what The Bachelor is, it's a dating reality show where at least 30 candidates are given chances to go on a date with the Bachelor (the person they are actively courting) This has rounds where each contestant is given roses by the Bachelor, signifying they are staying on the show, or aren't given any which means they are disqualified. There are events and dates in this show too along with activities where sometimes, the candidates or the Bachelor can choose the venue or site. Click this link to understand more, you can watch videos to get a handle on it too. I only watched some of the Asian spin offs of this show so it might be a bit different for me. (I might also have some original setting that might be different from how the reality show worked)

My setting includes:

-A walk-in wardrobe for the contestants (includes already styled outfits for the whole look, this is a life saver to Shinichi as a candidate who walked out and immediately got dissed on his clothing by the other candidates, the staff and the viewers (later when the episode was aired) he was sent back inside the wardrobe and chose the clothes off a mannequin instead even though it wasn't a feature of the show to take the whole outfit but it was later added due to Shinichi, he also met a candidate called Mimeko who is a seamstress who he asks for help too, she also joined the fun in dressing up Shinichi)

-A viewer voting polls for the dates and contestants (explainable, have fun ;) )

-Introductory video that is shown in the episodes, the bachelor and the candidates each have one (I don't remember if this is part of the actual show but im adding this for original setting if it isnt, this can go 2 ways: each of the candidates videos would be while they are introduce in episode one, meaning everyone will see in the show, or it can also be only shown to the bachelor, the viewers and the staff instead without showing anything to the candidates, only having watch their own and the bachelor's introductory video instead)

30 girls/guys or mixed cause we're being inclusive- The Bachelor staff in this au, post-conan timeline and far off into the future. Shinichi is working as a consultant and private detective, he's also known as a closed off famous detective that managed to take down an organization (BO) at the age of 19 going on 20, he's also been credited to working with multiple international law enforcement notably with the FBI, closing multiple unsolved and dangerous cases that involves high profile criminals. He doesn't have social media (to the loss of his fans) but is regularly covered by the media, leading him to have a large media presence as a detective (very professional, bro does not share life details or preferences easily, fans commonly and constantly bemoan the fact that the man is married to his work). He grew up from a haughty teenage detective meddling in crime scenes to the now beloved Ice Prince of the media, having visuals passed down from his mom that make you think he's an idol/model or enough to make you bent (while not as large as his female fans, he does have a sizable male fans). He also is biologically younger, it being one of the lingering effects from APTX as the poison literally destroys his cells and fats to turn him into a kid (seriously, how does bro survive that?), I always headcannon that Shinichi, after taking the antidote, would suffer from side effects for a while. In this au, he survived largely unscathed, only with a decreased immune system after taking the antidote and looking younger than all of his peers as he got turned back to the age he took the poison, so teenage body, when he's supposed to be 19-20. With also taking a hit on his immune system, his growth also got stunted meaning that after recovering his strength, health and immune system for like a year, he's much more smaller than Adult Kaito here in the show.

He's now 27 and after surviving attempts on his life, bless his heart, Shinichi is sent off to The Bachelor without his consent.

Sonoko, Ran and Yukiko planning in background, days pass, shoves a contract to the reality show to Shinichi's face with his signature forged already

Cue multiple near begging, near bribing, and near escape from Shinichi

The girls reason would be after a multiple failures in matchmaking, setting dates and introducing Shinichi to just about anyone (either he attracts murderers, creeps, stalkers or he just ends up befriending the person they introduced to him, its mostly the females that he befriends though, all the women he met and befriended has a tacit understanding of Shinichi being too much like kicked puppy that they can’t help pity the guy when it's so obvious he's not into it but still respects them, his friends goodwill and his mother's desire for grandkids, it also doesn't help that he's like a girl friend, understanding girl talks, shopping, being a dork that's so earnest even when he sucks ag giving fashion advice to his GirlFriends and the adorable mothering he does for the shounen tanteidan, some even privately think that damn this guy is a better girl than me or suspects he's gay due to remaining single for long and the SIGNS)

He is ;) he just doesn't know it yet

They're getting desperate here and it doesnt help that Shinichi is too much of a taciturn ass in dating, having little to no love life or worse, a disaster in his love life (Shinichi's love life is NOTORIOUS, not only in divisions one but in all law enforcements he works with, it also doesn't help that he gets psychos, yanderes and criminals as his partners and when they inevitably get possessive, pissy and angry at either Shinichi or people close to him, resulting to threats that are almost often publicly stated,

Cue the media storm and coverage cause man's love life is publicly known as a disaster

yes, there have been multiple memes about Shinichi's love life, Shinichi is unaware of the memes)

Sonoko: That detective geek can't possibly seduce my Kaito-sama! (She wants Shinichi to introduce Kaito to her and they'll have their wonderful love story UwU)

Ran being the good big sister: Shinichi needs someone by his side (preferably, not murderous)

Yukiko: Shin-channnnn, you need a girlfriend! Or a boyfriend or you'll end up single past your prime! I need to see my grandchildren soon! (Also low-key worried that Shinichi is going to be eternal single and she doesn't want him to be lonely)

Now this could go in a number of ways, Shinichi as The Bachelor or Shinichi as a candidate for The Bachelor (Kuroba Kaito, up and coming Magician who has won multiple international awards due to his Magic shows)

I need you to check Exhibit A and B to get what I mean regarding ELO and Non-ELO, its below 'As a Candidate'

Kaito, after hanging up the metaphorical cape on the mantle (He and Conan had a goodbye meet where Conan is soon going to leave so he can live his original life where they chat and talk all night long, both enjoying their limited time together, Kaito knows Conan is a teenage detective and has a crush on his Meitantei, he couldn't deny it anymore especially after finding out what happened to the other but he won't act on it while the other is pint sized so he just enjoys their time together, but in ELO, even though he already had pretty much all the clues, he respected Conan's privacy and didn't try to find out his real identity but in non-ELO, Kaito did snoop and found Kudo Shinichi though he didn't act on his crush as he knew the other still had Ran and needed time to get his life together) He comes back to Japan from Paris, having received an internationally acclaimed award in stage magic, is either in this reality show due to his Mom (Yukiko and Chikage setting their sons up together where Chikage actually spills this to Kaito, where him being his devious cunning self in Non-ELO, after having found out that all these years, Ran and Shinichi didn't get together and actually settled into a familial friendship instead, being presented the opportunity to snatch his Meitantei, takes it) or for his work (like connections wanting to support him so they gave him the opportunity to be in this show which Kaito agreed to due to being amused and curious and doing it just for formality's sake)

(Introductory video- I'll add it later as I have to rewrite it again along with at least 8 scenes that got deleted too :( )

As a Candidate:

Shinichi as a candidate is just Shinichi, he won't hate on the mysterious bachelor but that doesn't mean he's not grumpy :)

Shinichi also doesn't recognize Kuroba is Kid while Kid can either recognize Shinichi immediately or doesnt recognize him

When the bachelor (Kuroba) is first introduce, Shinichi just writes him off, preferring to brood and be annoyed, thinking escape plan after escape plans. He can't just run off without a proper excuse though, due to the contract that says he need to stay for the whole duration of the show until he's disqualified, he shivers to think of himself as a candidate in this awful reality show, and also because Yukiko called up her connections (the Producer Director of the show) to "pretty please make Shin-chan stay there, I just want my baby to get laid" which is just a thinly veiled command of "don't let him escape, I. Want. Those. Grandchildren." So he reigns himself to going along with it for now, ie going on those dates.

Exhibit A: Shinichi bonds with The Bachelor, Kuroba (he can know or not know about Shinichi being Meitantei) and becomes his shield for Begone Thots after Kaito (Shinichi can know about this or doesnt know, Kaito might also be purposely doing this cause you know, this might all be Kaito courting Shinichi hehehe, or Kaito doesn't recognise Shinichi and just outright thinks it would be funny and he wants to at least have someone on his side to use as a metaphorical human shield) shares his fake love life, drawing pity from Shinichi (staging many opportunities where Shinichi actively engaged in dates to help Kaito due to feeling sorry for the man and a kindred spirit to which Kaito knowing who he is, would gladly take it, or Kaito not knowing who he is, would slowly fall in love with him)

Exhibit B: Shinichi actively antagonises Kuroba to "get the hell out of this reality show quickly by being disqualified by the angry Bachelor" (Kaito can know about Shinichi, to which he's lovingly infuriated with Shinichi and want to either smack or kiss him, or to Kaito not knowing about Shinichi therefore is angry back until Shinichi also starts to dislike the guy, now this can go into the Enemies to Lovers Trope :) imagine the reactions of the viewers at the end of the reality show, Im calling it Eemies to Lovers Offshoot or ELO for short)

I can see Shinichi calling Takagi in the middle of the show, begging (bribing, blackmailing) to deliver case files to him. He'd be a candidate in this offshoot, with the candidate's phones being confiscated so he staged a little heist to steal a phone, mostly because it was written in the contract for Shinichi so yes, its targeted ;)

cause Shinichi, you don't need your files and work while on a reality show, you workaholic tehee~♡ -Yukiko)

3 outcomes possible you can combine ;)

The deed was caught in camera only due to Kaito suspecting Shinichi doing something and what do ya know, Heisei Holmes performs a heist (they dont recognise each other offshoot, ELO route)

The deed caught in camera only due to Kaito amusingly following Shinichi (he knows Shinichi as meitantei but Shinichi doesnt know him as Kid)

It wasn't explicitly caught in camera and only became known when at a later episode of the Bachelor, Takagi came with the case files, leading the staff currently at that time finding out about the little heist. Of course, the production staff reviewed their videos and recordings and was able to find small snippets of Shinichi's planning, lending an amused, indignant, and speechless air to everyone inside the viewing room. (Later episode that aired where Takagi arrived with the files involved a small snapshots of clips of Shinichi planning and a small clip of Shinichi walking down the hallway for a staff only room and a bathroom, confidently while sneakily striding and leaving the hallway with a skip in his steps and a small smile, there was an explanatory text that rolled up in the screen after this explaining how the staff found out about the Little heist the famous Heisei Holmes did, after this is a clip of a confrontation by the Producer Director to Shinichi with the director just asking which phone he used to contact Takagi-keibu and Shinichi just gives a smug smirk as he sharply glances back at the PD pointedly) (this can be ELO or not-ELO route)

There would also be a scene in the middle of the date where Shinichi goes along (or snarkily if its the enemies to lovers trope/ ELO) with Kuroba and he excuses himself to the bathroom, going inside the stall to immediately try to escape.

Cue Kaito waiting outside thinking why the hell is his date taking so long inside the bathroom (grumingly in enemies to lovers or ELO route, or amusingly if Kaito knows Shinichi and he just cracks jokes about how this is like being on a date with a girl then drawing references of Shinichi being the girl then Shinichi having wifey vibes just without the ability to cook elaborate recipes, yes, shinichi can cook basic meals in this au, nowwwwwww with this statement about Shinichi not being able to cook elaborate meals? Shinich fans zoom on this, why? Cause this little tidbit of fact isn't a widely known fact except for the Very Dedicated Old fans of Shinichi cause man is tightlipped about his private life. Most surface level fans just assume he can cook and with most defaulting that since he's mister perfect then he's able to cook like 5 star chef but nooooo, thats not it. The statement of about Shinichi not being able to make elaborate recipes cements to the oldies in the Lovers of One-Truth club, oldest Shinichi stan fanclub, that Kuroba might potentially or actually be a Shinichi stan. Viewers and fans start a whole commentary and discussion about this theory on twitter)

Shinichi comes out of the bathroom with a glum face (right after escaping through a bathroom window, running from the PD who while walking around the place, bought a milktea while at work and was enjoying the view, was caught slacking by Shinichi who they found was unexpectedly escaping through the window *spider man meme pointing at each other* , running and dogding the hordes of staff the PD called to catch him, the PD gets called back to work, until he gets tackled by one and gets put through the most intense retouching of makeup and clothing in under 1 minute by a terrifyingly capable makeup artist and fashion coordinator)

Shinichi stepping sleepily into the living room while the candidates lounge around Kaito in the late morning (buttering him up, acting coy with him or just having a nice conversation while Kaito there is being a charming gentleman) Kaito then cheerily says "Kudo-kun, good morning!" as Shinichi just coldly steps aside him ignoring him or more like not computing anything then makes a beeline for the kitchen, hovering right in front of the coffee machine and making eyes with it (homoerotic, terrifying and intense)

The atmosphere in the living room just drops after that cold shoulder, silence pervading as the camera rolls and records it.

Now 3 outcomes yet again hahahaha:

Kaito takes offense to his cold shoulder (unintentional) and it both further angers him with Shinichi thus giving more fuel to the ELO trope where the morning scene is then repeated in later episodes of the Bachelor, it's only Kaito and Shinichi in the living room where Kaito soon takes notice that Shinichi didn't mean to offend him and just isn't really a morning person

Kaito takes offense to this and Shinichi, playing into this misunderstanding to get disqualified early, doesn't clear it up and this also plays to ELO

Kaito is amused by this as he knows Shinichi, even in his Conan days, takes time to compute and understand the living world in the mornings and that coffee is his life blood (non-ELO)

Before I forget, Why is Shinichi not outright getting disqualified? There are 2 reasons I made up for it, you can choose:

One- I'm using one of my original setting here, instead of that setting only affecting dates and which candidate gets to participate in date chances, I'm adding a feature where it also affects who gets to stay in the show via the giewers voting the candidate they want to stay. Shinichi is constantly getting voted by his fanclub (for the sake of getting Shinichi a normal lover, wink wink), the internet trolls (in ELO route, it's funny cause Kaito clearly dislikes him or in non-ELO route, it's funny cause Shinichi clearly wants to get disqualified) and his friends, colleagues and family (The police force, the FBI, you can throw in the Interpol there, basically all of the law enforcement he worked with, since he also worked on cases internationally, you bet that's a lot and that's still not counting his family and friends where you can also bet that Sonoko would absolutely throw some cash to get people to vote Shinichi, she's not really doing it of course but she will, if given the chance, maybe half for Shinichi's sake but also half for Shinichi to suffer)

This would basically be that one idol in a Chinese idol show, here's for more details. (Yes, I am laughing my ass off right now)

Two: You can ignore number one as this reason is actually logical and very simple, Kaito doesn't vote Shinichi off

In ELO route, he doesn't disqualify Shinichi as he already dislikes the guy and he's only here for formality's sake so he's using Shinichi as an unofficial meat shield (Shinichi is not aware of this) from the other candidates (not that it works much)

In non-ELO route, it's because he wants Shinichi (duh) so he wouldn't want to get him disqualified but if he doesn't recognise Shinichi, same in the ELO route, he uses him as a meat shield though much more official where Shinichi actively tries to spend time with Kaito and get him to enjoy their 'hangouts' and also decidedly a lot less more grumbling as their introduction here didn't sour relations yet (if it's intentionally in Kaito's part in notifying Shinichi about his status as a meat shield to ask for help to get him away from the other candidates so he can spend more time with Shinichi, well, you choose :) )

Now extra scenes:

Boat date

-An event where each candidate would take a 30 minute date on a boat in a lake, the candidates found out about Kaito's Ichthyophobia, only Shinichi took it seriously and didn't laugh or found it funny and where he actively tried to get Kaito to enjoy the date, even in ELO route though a lot more unenthusiastic in making it enjoyable. Kaito later takes note of how Shinichi acted about the reveal, either thankful or thinking that the guy ain't so bad afterall. Kaito's fans, some of Shinichi's fanclub and the viewers also took notice of Shinichi's act and it started a very small subset of Kaishin shippers.

There would also be a few candidates who never actually took the phobia seriously or worse, think they can fix it. They would take their date chances and order food with fishes or actively go to a place with fishes and do those activities. Kaito would either try to endure, frankly say he doesn't like it, or storm out if he can't handle it anymore. Shinichi would later find Kaito in the dorms crying about it where he'd frankly tell him that "People who don't understand his phobia who actively make fun of it or expose him to it isn't worth giving his time for. People who do try to understand it are the ones worth considering and keeping around. "(Wow Shinichi are you advertising yourself? But seriously, even in ELO route, I can see Shinichi comforting Kaito about his phobia. Dislike or not, he'd tell him his opinion frankly and bluntly. He'd offer a shoulder to cry on or for someone to lean on but he'd still say his piece in the most firm gentle voice yet blunt manner of speaking.) Shinichi would then tactlessly blurt out "And hey, if someone wants to kill you, they just need to trap you in a room full of it". This startles a laugh from Kaito as Shinichi sheepishly scratches his head, face a bit flushed from embarrasment as Kaito says "Your head is just full of murder cases, huh? Kudo-kun" (This wouldnt be caught by a camera, this would be Kaito's own private moment, not shared with any of the public)

Garden picnic date alongside a lake

-It's an outside date where all of the candidate are participating, there are candidates who approached kaito during the date but there are also some who enjoyed the view. (Kaito later approached them instead) He entertained and did some magic for them. Shinichi had already split off from the group early on and found an isolated place near the lake under a tree where he read a book, there's only one cameraman who came with him, this can go into the ELO route where Kaito found Shinichi tried to at least be civil but Kaito, knowing from prior experience how rude the other can be, retorted rudely. This would go into a fight (verbally, I think they won't trade blows at least) where Shinichi would end up (accidentally) pushed into the lake. Shinichi would storm out of the garden in wet clothes, flushed with anger in Kaito, where Kaito would be frustrated, angry and slightly apologetic (he'd also take note that the other looks fine in wet clothes, the white polo didn't help) There would also be backlash to Kaito from Shinichi's fanclub and some of the viewers, where some would actively hate Kaito or viewers now disapproving of the magician. This would actively make Kaito think unfavorably on Shinichi, now actively wanting to disqualify him for it but knows he can't cause it would be a media storm. Now considering that there's a viewer poll setting in this au, there would be people banking on Shinichi getting disqualified or Shinichi's fans not voting him for dates. This works as Shinichi wasn't chosen for the dates after this but of course, Shinichi doesn't get disqualified (unfortunately, for Kaito and Shinichi) this also gave rise to the internet trolls who voted Shinichi for dates instead (this also worked after the unvoting fiasco, leading to dates where Kaito and Shinichi is staring with each other in silence until someone inevitably breaks it)

This can also go into the non-ELO route where Kaito instead found Shinichi, where they actively engaged in a conversation without being rude to each other, enjoying the conversation until Shinichi, still a bit sleep deprived from the early leave in the morning to get on time on the scene for the garden setting, dozes off against the tree (kaito is staring and you can't blame him, for someone like Shinichi who often makes cold expressions (often not intenionally, he's just thinking or deducing) or sometimes sneering, its fascinating to see him asleep, face's now set in soft lines. Now if you want it more cliche, Shinichi grumbles and squirms until he finally found the comfortable position, only this position is leaning against Kaito with his head on his shoulder's. (Kaito is screaming inside from how cute and adorable Shinichi is in his sleep)

Pool date

-Shinichi thanks his lucky stars that he doesn't have to take an outfit from a mannequin or coordinate an outfit (often asking his fellow candidates for help to avoid getting criticised) he just grabs a hoodie and swim trunks, taking a book with him and sunglasses. (Going to the pool to read a book.....) Kaito would get accosted by the candidates in the pool while Shinichi is just in the shade (reclining chair, juice in hand, lemon tea, not too sweet with ice and a straw) with a few candidates who prefer to not get wet or doesn't know how to swim. (In ELO route, Kaito would scoff at Shinichi and think how haughty he is, just like any detective he met except tantei-kun)

Shinichi would actually get to bond here with one of the candidates who can't swim (a timid shorter girl who is a seamstress with dark brown hair and wide brown eyes that seemed to dislike him) she initially thought Shinichi was a rude and haughty person (shes a Kaito Kuroba fan) but after getting to know him, she starts to see that he's a pretty nice guy. Shinichi, after talking with her, takes it upon himself to at least help her and teach her how to swim. He gets up from his spot as they both walk to a corner of the pool (the kiddies part or the shallow part) where Shinichi taught her how to swim and float, the very basics to which Kaito interferes in the lesson.

In ELO route, Kaito would interfere in slight disdain that Shinichi might be trying to woo a girl while in a reality show where it's Kaito who is supposed to be courted (wow possessive much?) but found out when he stayed there for a bit while Shinichi was teaching, he stared at Shinichi while Shinichi was getting unerved but resolved to ignore the stare as much as he can. The girl (Im naming her Mimeko) being taught just being 'Don't mind me, you can oggle him Sir as much as you want, thank you very much, he's all yours.' (she's also a Kuroba Kaito fan, she's also a closeted fujoshi while she's just discreetly watching) that he was just being helpful. Kaito gets curious then and stays there for a bit while he also joins in teaching Mimeko-chan about swimming. He thinks that Shinichi is also pretty cool (and sexy, especially when he moves that sunglasses of his head while in the pool, all wet from swimming as he smirks. And never forget adorable, when he beams and smiles when the girl gets the technique he showed right)

In the non-ELO route, Kaito gets jealous of the girl being taught by Shinichi. He subtly signaled to Mimeko-chan that 'he's mine' by volunteering himself to be used as example in swimming or Shinichi is showing an example of it (like kicking his legs while doing the strokes where he asked kaito to hold him while he demonstrated it, Kaito doors as he's told but does it more suggestively, holding his hips instead of his waist while glaring at the girl. Suffice enough she gets the message and also mouthed "need help?" (she's having the time of her life helping her idol and these are two hot men, who wouldnt?) Kaito looks at her and was about to jerk his head in agreement when Shinichi comes up for air and looks back to the girl saying "That's how you do it, did you get it?" Mimeko hastily nods as Kaito smiles innocently at Shinichi, suffice to say that Mimeko did not get Kaito's examples of swimming and only got it right when Shinichi does it (Kaito got a hold on a lot of places that day, mostly Shinichi's waist, hips and chest, ELO route be missing out here)

The Infamous Sherlock Holmes vs Arsène Lupin Fight (almost exclusively for ELO route)

-One fine late morning (cause Shinichi ain't functioning at early morning) Shinichi and Kaito butt heads about the discussion on which is better, Sherlock or Lupin? (This scene would be earlier than most I've written here as I didn't actually write the scenes in chronological order, just when they came in my mind) Shinichi would be trying to find something he can use to make Kaito displeased with him and finding out about him liking Lupin was a good start in getting disqualified. He started the conversation regarding Lupin then said he doesn't like Lupin. Kaito then would ask him what he likes then Shinichi would reply "Sherlock Holmes, of course" then give a throw away comment that Sherlock could capture Lupin and that Lupin is just a thief, he doesn't get the allure of the criminal. (Shinichi just wanted Kaito to dislike him, he was not prepared for what comes next) Kaito takes offense and says "All you detective's are the same! Lupin is a gentleman thief, he can outwit your Sherlock!" Then Shinichi takes offense then starts the fight between two Sherlock Holmes fan and Arsène Lupin fan, from a civil discussion to a verbal dogfight until inevitably Kaito insults Shinichi as a detective and Shinichi insults Kaito as a magician. This is the start of the ELO route. (If you wannt to include this in a non-ELO route then both would still come away from this with Kaito being slightly infuriated and want to kiss him senseless to shut him up, with Shinichi being annoyed with Kaito)

[woaza]

Can you do headcanons for fixing the fra family? Like before marriage reader assumes that Gerhard is just super protective of his son and that's why he won't introduce them but in reality it's because he doesn't want to drive away the best thing in his life with his biggest mistake

After they get married they attempt to bond with Angelico and overtime Angelico loves his new parent because they actually pay attention to him. Gerhard is stuck with a head full of thoughts. Is this how easy it was? Why wasn't Angelico being difficult like he normally was? Why was his spouse so doting to a child that's not biologically their's? Why did his insides twist every time he saw them bonding? He doesn't hate it... But he's confused...he thought it was jealousy but that's not quite it....it's something more painful

MY MOTHER || Angst

Paring : Gerhard Fra X (Fem) reader

Word count : 3.5K

Warnings : Angst, Neglectful and abusive parenting, Gerhard slightly rude to reader at times. Use of pet names.

Author note : This hurt me so bad, hope they can live in peace and maybe the reader stops Angelico from growing up into an evil man. Also I realize this isn’t really head-cannons but more so just a fic so I am sorry.

“Don’t pry” is what you repeated to yourself. Don’t meddle about where you’re not wanted or desired let alone needed. You’re only in the early stages of courtship don’t frighten the man away. He was certainly not secretive, a gentleman. He would politely tell you as much as he believed was appropriate. Never to much or little information, just enough for you to grabble a small understanding of the inner workings of Lord Fra’s head.

Not wanting to push yourself upon the man. You wanted to be his lady wife. The title of lady Fra was humming in the back of your head in such a sweet melody.

That wasn’t the only thing that created a desire to impress him, but just the man himself. To his prestige hygiene and presence, but to the way he treated you. The way he kissed your hand when he greeted you in the parlor. Both pair of eyes gently bore into each other. It was all so prefect. You didn’t want to push past the formality’s and charming romances.

“Don’t pry.” You heard the back of your head call out. Once again you and Fra were in a brief silence. Discussing the married life and what it would bear for the both of you. The topic of children always fell silent. Only in moments as these did his eyes leave yours. Awkwardly glancing at the nearby painting.

Holding his hand in a fist and politely clearing his thought. “Don’t spare my heir a second thought. He is mine to be burdened with. I’m sure you understand.” He mutters, so unlike him. Such a sure man he was. Always knowing his direction and next move.

So loving and protecting of the boy, it made you smile. How sweet of him to not push a burden of motherhood onto you. Looking out for the boy and his feelings.

Perhaps that’s why he got so flustered when you brought up the topic of the small child. Lord Fra simply desired to keep him safe. To keep a watchful pair of eyes on the boy, not introducing a woman just for her to be temporary. In your mind, maybe he was simply making sure you were perfect.

All these assumptions made you feel even more excited to marry the man. To you it was so admirable that the man would care so deeply.

Unbeknownst to you were all that he ever truly wanted even above the needs of his child. Consuming his thoughts and actions. as he fell deep and deeper, everything he did seemed to be for you. As he woke up and got ready for the day, thinking of what outfit you would complement on him. Once you had noted that you found his hair particularly beautiful, now he never skips another wash day.

He simply had no time for anything else, but you and his duties. Every day when he woke up, he was filled with thoughts of you that were eventually tarnished. Tarnished by thoughts of what you would think of him.

How would you would run at the sight of the snot covered brat. A disappointment he thought to himself, why would he want a child from a wife he no longer has. A Child so dependent on him. On occasion Gerhard thought about Theodore Classico. Such an independent polite child, sitting in the corner of the room, educating himself reading peacefully. Why couldn’t Angelico be that way?

Why would you want to marry a man whose heir is so incompetent? It practically made him cringe in his skin that what he considered a mistake could potentially scare you away from his only deep desire. Your companionship and commitment.

Every night he turned to bed, thinking of the dedication and time he would give you if you only gave him the chance. If only he could keep you away from Angelico.

“If only” was all he could think. “if only that child wasn’t his.” it drove him insane. Why was the boy so needy? Why did he need this? Why did he do that? If only he was like the other Noble children.

In his mind, if he were to marry someone with such a child he would run. Oh how he would refuse such an offer. why would anyone put themselves in such a position? To involve themselves with such a misbehaving child. He knew for a fact, he wouldn’t do that himself. So in good conscience, could he continue to court you and marry you? That is what he desired so deeply.

Yet the guilt followed him. The guilt of pushing unworthy child onto you.

Yet, he didn’t let his guilty conscious Stop him and pursued you. How he couldn’t keep himself away from you even if he tried. Gerhard made a silent vow to himself to do his best to keep you unburdened by the child. Yet work with the agency kept him very busy and he couldn’t be there every day to usher the small boy away from you, what he considered an angelic presence. A gift that the boy was even able to lie his way eyes upon you.

It was a Frigid winters day, Gerhard was called to the agency on an urgent matter. Almost leaving the first thing in the morning. In a large winters coat, appropriate hat, and shoes more equipped for the thick snow that piled on the ground.

He left before you even opened your eyes. As you did immediately you noticed his presence was missing. Much to your dismay you woke to find a quickly written letter. In his rushed cursive he informed you of the urgent business. You groaned and sat up in the bed, stretching your arms and yawning. Standing up from your bed and walking past the crackling fire place. You went to the window, the sun was up, reflecting off of the snow. Your window with a small layer of frost covering the corners.

The snow looked so pretty in the garden. Dispute the un-growing plants the snow was charming and magical in its own way. Icicles hung from the roof of the Estate. Such a peaceful moment, which was quickly interrupted by a quick and shaky knock from the door.

“Lady Fra, may I enter?” A familiar voice of one of the maids. She often was the first one to greet you, she brought you tea and would dress you for the day. “You may.” You said turning you back to the window looking towards the grand doors.

She opened Them Trey in hand, yet one thing caught your eye. A familiar small boy, making a small smile immediately cross your features. “My lady I’m so sorry he insisted and I-“ the maid began to apologize but instead of paying any focus to her apologies you leaned a bit and held open your arms. Angelicos face practically began to glow. “MOM!”

He ran to you and quickly embraced you in a hug, in which you began to place kisses across his face. He giggled but didn’t try to push you away, happily and greedily accepting the kisses. The maid let out a small sigh, whenever Lord Fra wasn’t around Angelico seemed so much more lively. “You know I never have a problem with Angelico, my dear and only son visiting me.” You said as you were crouched down gently running your fingers through his flowing golden hair. The maid setting the trey onto a coffee table

“Miss Charlotte will you leave us be for a moment?” You look up to the maid as you lift Angelico off the ground, walking towards the fire place and your morning tea.

“Yes of course lady Fra, but if I may-“ she cleared her throat “do you wish to get properly dressed?” Angelico looked up at you as you held him in your arms. Anxiously waiting for your answer. “No I’m with my son that can wait.”

She hesitated but then left the room. Angelico was ecstatic! You had chosen to be with him rather than getting dressed. He couldn’t help but hold onto tightly, his small grubby hands clenched onto the opening of your nightgown and sleeve. Leaning his head on your shoulder. “Mother what will we do today?” Moving to sit down on the sofa with him still in your gentle hold.

“I’m not sure I’m free of any duties today. What do you wish for Angelico?”

The youngest Fra thought deeply while your sipped on your warm morning tea. Henry cared for your opinion, wanting to choose something that you would approve of. Yet in your mind that isn’t want mattered. You were is mother and determined to give him the attention and care he needed.

“I just want to be with you mom.” Angelico whispered as he sat on your lap, still in his night wear. The same as you. He smiled as he said the word mom. Lord Fra would be disgruntled when the boy called him ‘father’. Yet you encouraged such an intimate title to be used. Embracing the role as the boys mother.

It’s been a little over a year and he had already grown so attached to you. Throwing tantrums and devastating fits when he was denied your presence. You are his mother, and he was your son. No where was he more content than in your arms.

Gerhard watched this relationship between you two unfold throughout your marriage. As you would go out of your way to sneak the boy an extra treat or have him accompany you to the library. It was so puzzling. He spent all this time keeping the ‘brat’ away from you, how rude of you to go out of your way to ruining his hard work and planning. How it was so so easy for you.

It bothered him.

Why bother? What did you get out of it? Was it to bother him? Were you even aware of the effects it had on him?

The way his fists clenched at the sight of you combing the boys hair or tucking him to bed and singing him a lullaby. It made him sick to his stomach, actually sick. He felt like a deprived delirious man. His common logic which he so commonly used seemed out of the window in the situation.

The boy bothered him, often asking him for simple things. Like food, water or even to use the bathroom. Gerhard would often ask himself if the boy thought he was a servant or someone to give him what he needs. Which in his mind that wasn’t the role he needed to be fore Gerhard. Lord Fra wanted him to follow his footsteps. Be the perfect heir he needed to be. None of the childish nonsense.

Later in the Day Lady Fra and Angelico had spent the whole day together. Day growing into night as the moon slowly crept into the sky, the stars covered by clouds full of snow.

Lord Fra finnaly returned home and was welcomed by the staff and led to the dinning hall where he saw his lovely wife, and son. Both already sat and picking at their plates. As the doors were opened for him neither bothered to look at him enter the room. They were laughing, he didn’t know about what. Lord Fra already felt a scowl form on his face walking to his chair at the head of the table.

Clearing his throat as he walked behind his son. Looking at his wife who sat across from Angelico. You were quick to smile at your husband who didn’t return the familiar gesture.

This startled you but you shrugged it back, he had just returned from the agency. “Ah, My husband welcome home.” With a small Puase Angelico was quick to follow your lead “Hello father, welcome back.”. Angelico wasn’t dumb by means and immediately noticed his father’s suffocating mood. His bad temper filled the room and encroached on everyone’s personal space.

“Thank you.” Was all lord Fra said before picking up a fork and starting to eat politely. You hated when he acted like this. He was such an affectionate man but whenever Angelico was around he was a different man. At least from your point of view. Everyone but you seemed to have this impression of your husband.

Yet An ever so charming man in privacy. “How were your duties today?” You lean towards him a bit, using your body to signal your eagerness to listen. He noticed, his expression softened slightly. But he was far too annoyed with Angelico in the room. “It was nothing I couldn’t handle. We can talk about it more in private my lady.” Was his blunt and rather boring statement.

Angelico looked only at his plate now and the lovely mood he was in, was crushed by his father’s attitude. Your eyes drifted back-and-forth across the table, looking at your son and your husband. Why couldn’t they simply be kind to each-other? “We are in private. This is the privacy of our family is it not?” Was all you had to say before Gerhard shot you a look. His fork pushed into his plate, a pea escaping the utensil.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we aren’t in private.” His words were sharp and concise warning you not to push anymore further.

But you were the only one who knew, your husband could never refuse you. In the letters, he wrote to you speaking of how deeply he felt and how devoted he was to you. You knew his true emotions towards you. It felt silly for the man who had said all of those charming things to you to be sitting here acting like a young boy whose mother had just told him no.

“What isn’t private about the dinning room, my dear?” The smug undertones well hidden to Angelico but not to your grouchy husband. “Dont act stupid-” he sounds a bit louder before turning fully to face you “I won’t speak with that insolent incompetent boy in the room.” Your eyes widen and your smile drops immediately. “Don’t speak that way about him.”

Within a moment you took a breath through your nose and looked over your husband’s glare and made you attention to Angelico who was on the brink of tears. “Angelico, if you’ll excuse me and your father for a moment.” Your tone was firm, leaving your husband no time to object. Your hands pressed firm against the table as you stood up from your chair.

You dared to look at your husband through the corner of your eyes. He rolled his eyes but dabbed his face with a napkin and followed your less then lady like attitude.

The two of you quickly excusing yourself’s from the family dinner hall. Gerhard walked out the large double doors first with you following behind him. Spreading your arms wide to shut the doors almost theatrically behind you, which wasn’t the intent of your movements. But with how grand everything was in the Fra manor, everything almost seemed theatrical.

Including your husbands mood. Which you weren’t amused with.

“What was that?” You said in a brash tone, not looking for more formal words. You were simply fed up with your Husbands insistence to leave out your son from any conversation.

“This is your fault, don’t put this on me. Wife.” His words were sharp, and simply put, rude. He spoke as he stood tall, his arms crossed and his head not even facing towards you. His ego far too big and he knew it would be crushed under a single glance from you.

You scoffed at this child like behavior. Pulling off the glove from your arms, snapping your fingers. To get his attention.

Which worked, he looked at you with surprise. Not appreciating you snapping at him like a dog to get his attention. Yet it seemed to be the only way that cold man would listen.

“My fault? My fault I treat that boy as my son, which I remind you. He is my son- and seemingly you have forgotten that he is your son aswell.” You said sternly, speaking so fast you felt as you might explode with every harsh tone you spoke, but your face quickly softened as your gaze landed on your husband’s handsome features. His normal scowl was replaced with a light, pout? If that’s what you could call it. Maybe more so a frown. The way he looked in your eyes definitely came across as apologetic.

Your eyebrows visibly unfurl and softened. “My love, what is the Behavior?” You whispered, your tone much sweeter.

“Why do you spend time with that boy.” Lord Fra seemed incredibly distraught.

“Because he’s my son?” You said almost as he was a child you had brought into this word. Like it was just second nature to you. In your mind there was no doubt that this boy was your son.

“No he’s not, he’s my heir. My burden.” Gerhard sighed moving his hands to pinch the bridge of his nose. It seems as his body was desperately trying to portray a confident man. His words colored a much different picture.

“Is that all you think of Angelico? A burden?”

“You don’t?”

“No of course I don’t!?”

Without much thought your face contorted into light disgust, or more so concern.

“He takes up all your time and he whines and complains, he’s a pester.” Gerhard’s tone was quite for once but he pushed his words against his teeth, leaning over a bit to keep him and you in close proximity.

“That’s because he’s a child. He needs a mother. I teach him and he grows more intelligent by the day. Angelico is simply growing into a young man.”

“My love your time is much more valuable in other places.”

“I disagree, when you married me. I took on the honor of being his mother.”

“That boy is no honor, he is a burden.”

“See the way you speak of him! It’s horrible!”

Both of you grew silent, the already large hallway seemed to grow larger. This didn’t feel like the man you loved. This was a feeling he had been growing in his heart much longer then the two of you had been wedded for.

“How is it so easy for you?” Was the words Gerhard spoke. They seemed to echo in your head a bit, it never crossed your mind the Gerhard simply didn’t know how to be a father.

“Well why is loving him so hard for you?”

“Because that’s not a burden a man of my position needs to fret about.”

“Well if it’s none of your concern, why dose my involvement impose such a threat to you?”

That made Lord Fra stop in his tracks, he loved your intelligence but in moments when you out wit him was frustrating. He actually had to think, why did your behavior disturb him. On the surface he would simply reply that it was because ‘Your nobility, not our job to think of. Childcare is no place in our lifestyle.’ Yet being a mother is something you’ve woven into your very breath.

Though the very distinct sting of jealousy rang throughout his whole body. It was screaming loudly like a kettle about to overflow. He knew what this feeling was, but by the gods he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Though that was loudest feeling he felt, this was deeper there was more. He didn’t know what it was. But he hated it.

It almost hurt, No I did hurt. He hated this. Why did he have to love you so much? Why was the boy in the way? Why did you love what he considered his biggest imperfection?

“I spent all this time trying to keep my biggest mistake away from you, but now you’ve embraced it with your whole soul. Can you not see how it disturbs my very being my love you have to understand me.” His hands moved to hold yours. Gently guiding them to his lips. Placing a couple of soft pecks across the back of your palm.

“My love, may i request something?” You spoke so softly he almost didn’t catch what you had said.

“Hm?”

“Can you try to be present. I promise I will lead the way, you don’t have to feel this way. Let me show you how darling.”

Lord Fra didn’t say anything but he simply held your hands tighter and nodded his head softly. Maybe he could change, for you. You always seemed to know what to do.

He loved you, so deeply. Willing to follow you into this unknown, and unfamiliar territory. Watching you as you guide him through parenthood. Day by day and hour by hour you were determined to make this family stronger. The Fra name would not be one of coldness and violence. But a family the other lord and ladies could aspire to be.

This change would be hard but not unwelcome by lord Fra.

A/n: I’m still learning to write fanfic’s! Also please excuse grammar mistakes on this one! Thank you!

[peachjagiya]

I’ve seen some people saying that the members are shit for not standing up for or trying to defend Tae amidst the company hate and sabotage so as a taekooker what do you think about the fact that Jungkook very clearly has a very good relationship with Bang PD and I am not just talking about a professional relationship where he is only around him because he needs to. He has gone out on one on one meals with Bang pd, even last years he skipped the VMAs and was seen dining with bang PD and TXT. Bang Pd was the one who introduced him to Seven and scooter which he happily performed and even went ahead to thank Bang Pd and scooter. He was seen in photos with Bang pd and his body language didn’t didn’t indicate that he was around someone he didn’t like, as a matter of fact it was the opposite as he had his arms around him and everything which he didn’t need to do. He clearly worked very closely with bang pd for his album. So there isn’t a single indication that Jk has any issues with Bang Pd, if anything they do look close. So what does this mean for Taekook in your opinion? If Bang pd and the company were as nasty to Tae and if Tae hated Bang pd like people think why would Jk have such a nice relationship with Bang PD? As I said before, they actually seem close if we have to look at everything that we have seen them do and how they have been around each other. So does this mean Jk is a bad boyfriend to Tae because I wouldn’t be that chummy with someone who treats my boyfriend or even my friend badly.

I have seen some people specifically coming for Jimin and calling him a terrible friend because apparently he let Tae get hate while he was being protected and this was the same thing I saw some taekookers do after AYS where they dragged Jimin for not telling Tae about the show and calling him a guest even though Jk didn’t tell Tae either and also called Tae a guest plus he literally laughed, clapping his hands when Jimin called him a guest. I am specifically using Jimin as an example because he I the member I have seen many taekookers and Tae solos drag for being a bad friend to Tae but what about Jungkook who literally very happily worked with and is chummy with the person who according to you people, Tae hates because he treats him like trash?

It’s either Jk is just a shitty boyfriend or friend who is well aware of the hate his friend is suffering in the company yet chooses to remain chummy with the people causing the hate and working closely with them, going out to non work related meals with them, taking chummy pictures with them even though we know the boys had an option to not work on their solo albums with them if they didn’t want. Tae choose to work with MhJ…., this or Tae actually doesn’t hate Bang PD, is being maltreated by bang pd and the company as some of you claim so Jk and the rest of the members have no reason to give bang pd the cold shoulder for maltreating Tae. I know that I would never be that chummy with anyone who treats anyone I love like shit.

“It's not like being in BTS has protected him or Jungkook from being plotted against, is it? “

This is what you wrote on one of your posts so I don’t know if I am interpreting this correctly, correct me if I am not but what I am seeing is that, you feel Iike the members haven’t protected him from being plotted against and it’s funny that you added Jungkook to this mix even though he was the only one out of all the members who seemed to work closest with Bang pd in the solo era. So what does it say about this whole situation if all the things you people are saying is true and Tae really hates bang pd? Forget about a possible romance between taekook because even only as very good friends, Jk would have to be a very shitty person to too, to let Bang pd give him opportunities he denies Tae don’t you think? I know you might want to say he doesn’t have a choice or they have a professional relationship but we know they all had choices to do so many things differently. They were not forced to only work with bighit staff as Tae clearly went to ador so he has autonomy in that part. We also know Jk could have gone the whole solo era without the thoughts of putting out an album if Bang pd didn’t play seven for him. He wasn’t forced to get out of his house and go make music and he literally confirmed that when he said if he hadn’t heard seven he would have still been home, sleeping, eating and watching cartoons. We can clearly see that they have autonomy yet with all this autonomy and choices, Jk still choose to work with one of the people out to sabotage his boyfriend and even accepted opportunities that he wasn’t given?

So which one is it? Is Jk a terrible person like Jimin and the other members who didn’t care to protect Tae from the hate and sabotage or are fans blowing things out of proportion and forcing a hate on Tae that he doesn’t feel for bang pd or the company? As a taekooker you can’t have it both ways. It’s either you are admitting that Tae has a shitty selfish boyfriend or you are admitting that maybe, just maybe you have read so many things about this situation wrong because if you are right, there is no scenario where Jk (especially) is a good friend to taehyung in this case.

Another day, another contextual line of a post left out.

as a taekooker what do you think about the fact that Jungkook very clearly has a very good relationship with Bang PD and I am not just talking about a professional relationship where he is only around him because he needs to.

Bang PD is his boss.

He has gone out on one on one meals with Bang pd, even last years he skipped the VMAs and was seen dining with bang PD and TXT.

Bang PD is his boss.

Bang Pd was the one who introduced him to Seven and scooter which he happily performed and even went ahead to thank Bang Pd and scooter.

Here's where I started to think I wasn't dealing with someone with a grasp on how real life works. Who hasn't tolerated a shitty boss? Why would he refuse to sing a song?!

He was seen in photos with Bang pd and his body language didn’t didn’t indicate that he was around someone he didn’t like, as a matter of fact it was the opposite as he had his arms around him and everything which he didn’t need to do.

Exhibit A: Potato quality picture of Taehyung thumbs upping with Bang PD.

Exhibit B: JK ALL OVER Bang PD or something. (I only included this because it makes me laugh)

It's almost like... he's their boss? And certain appearances must be kept?

So there isn’t a single indication that Jk has any issues with Bang Pd, if anything they do look close.

Not a single indication? Not one? Come on now. Are we wilfully forgetting JK took a stand against Hybe (and MHJ) by defending NewJeans who Bang personally had issue with?

So does this mean Jk is a bad boyfriend to Tae because I wouldn’t be that chummy with someone who treats my boyfriend or even my friend badly.

This whole ask hinges on the idea that Tae is the only one who has been fucked over. Nope. Jungkook has also been treated badly and been let down by Bang. The report shows that. So what's actually happening is that Jungkook and Tae have a shitty boss.

Now reverse this idea: If Bang PD is such a good boss and friend to JK, how come his company let Jungkook down so badly by allowing vile hate? By subscribing to a youtube channel that was defaming him? It's significantly more egregious that Bang in his position of contractual power would treat Jungkook this way than the outlandish notion that JK is "a bad boyfriend" because he *checks notes* went for dinner with his boss?

Bang PD is their boss. Certain levels of grinning and bearing it are to be expected between employee and boss. What is not to be expected is that the boss treats employees like trash.

this or Tae actually doesn’t hate Bang PD, is being maltreated by bang pd and the company as some of you claim so Jk and the rest of the members have no reason to give bang pd the cold shoulder for maltreating Tae. I know that I would never be that chummy with anyone who treats anyone I love like shit.

I thought for a minute you might be a rabid PJM but it turns out you're just a company stan. Just say you didn't read the report OR don't give a shit about Tae - OR JK - and move on.

“It's not like being in BTS has protected him or Jungkook from being plotted against, is it? “ This is what you wrote on one of your posts so I don’t know if I am interpreting this correctly, correct me if I am not but what I am seeing is that, you feel Iike the members haven’t protected him from being plotted against

You're not interpreting it correctly and I think deliberately to score points because you cut out the next line.

It's not like being in BTS has protected him or Jungkook from being plotted against, is it? But you wouldn't say their hyungs let them down. You'd say the company let them down.

Don't strip context to score points. It's transparent.

I'm not gonna diffuse my contempt for the company by bringing the other members in. I am reserving all my disdain for Bang and his CEOs.

As a taekooker you can’t have it both ways. It’s either you are admitting that Tae has a shitty selfish boyfriend or you are admitting that maybe, just maybe you have read so many things about this situation wrong because if you are right, there is no scenario where Jk (especially) is a good friend to taehyung in this case.

There is another factual scenario and that's the one where Tae AND JK have been subject to unfair scrutiny and treatment and both are making the most of a truly dreadful employer.

I beg you to realise this corporation aren't your friends, they aren't your cutesy kpop family, he's nobody's appa. Other corporations are side eyeing them so they aren't even the good guys when it comes to the low bar set by capitalism! You are a number and a ₩ KRW amount to them.

Put your faith back in the artists where it actually belongs. Cos you'll get a way more exciting album from them than you will from Bang Sihyuk or Lee Jaesang.

Anyway let's end this with wise words from Min Yoongi:

[licensedproldier]

highlights from the dropout anthony padilla/courtney miller interview! (aka things i liked or didnt know)

ally IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by introducing themselves as vic michaelis and dabbing so softly

ally ALSO IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by calmly answering the 'tell us about yourself' question with "ive been testing positive for covid for about 3 weeks now" "is that true?" "of COURSE NOT OH MY GOD??"

ally calls the covid vaccine the "Fauci-ouchie"

its been 1 minute into the video

VIC LYING ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE COLOR FOR NO REASON

its been TWO minutes into the video

ALLY HIJACKING HER ATTEMPT TO ASK AGAIN BY MOVING ONTO THE TRANSITION THEMSELF

ok we're locking in locking in

everyone needs to hear the ally wrongpile beardsley story at least once <3

vic was 100% in on sam's vision for dropout and ally COULD not have been more full of doubt.

all of them saying a contemplative 'ooooo' when asked if they miss sketches and then a beat afterwards vic immediately bursting out with 'sketch is dead i hate sketch. anyway-"

IFY MOO DENG MENTION

ify talking about how close and interconnected the cast is and was off screen since way back

"noo c'mon c'mon those are those pale clammy little hands i love so much 🥺" "theyre DRY AS A BONE"

vic's "I just dont ever think that anyone is thinking about me. like i am thinking about myself 100% more than anyone else is thinking about me"

vic thought it was crazy when they got asked to host VIP because she felt too new for it despite having a lot of experience

ally thinks its funny to make each other do the thing theyre known for but also they agree brennan is just that analytical about every topic and birds are not special KHADGKASJDF

vic and ify enthusiastically agreeing with the above LMAO

vic plays a character of herself while ify performs very close to his actual self

'is the broke comedian bit real' all of them immediately exaggeratedly laughing and looking away and going NOOO WE'RE FINEEE WE'RE FINEEE

ally's analogy of watering a plant that has been dead for a long time and how they might be doing good but the water has a lot of past cracks to fill in which i dont know enough about plants to tell if this is an accurate analogy but its an effective one

money-wise, the tide has turned for the better for them in the last few years 🥺

dropout did profit-share last year! vic cried 🥺

ify "i was there when youtube was created by a couple of guys" GOOGLE HOW OLD IS YOUTUBE. ONLY 19??????

ally needing clarification on if he was actually THERE when it was created or not

ify talking about how more people in the industry are recognizing him FROM dropout things

THE EDITORS ACTUALLY USING THE CLIP OF ALLY'S DAB AS A TRANSITION

vic "10 years ago if you told me i could actually make money from doing improv and my reaction was anything other than 'holy shit thats incredible' i would like murder myself. i would throw myself into a trash can"

immediate no's on "do you feel like you have to share your personal lives on camera" because they just like oversharing

"oh you grew up mormon too?" "no but i just LOVE 💞🥰 the mormons"

"studio CE shoutout. dont shout them out actually. well, you can if you want to."

some great takes on parasocial relationships

ify thinks his audience are the kinky poly folks. can we get a shout from the kinky poly folks!

ify pointing right at the camera and saying "IF you are at a sex party and i introduce myself as IFY do NOT give me your fake stage name. you are saying my REAL GOVERNMENT name here"

ally bringing up chappell roan in the parasocial relationships discussion yoooo

ify doing a voice imitation of his uncle suggesting he do jokes for a relative's graduation KHAGKAJKAKJDFSD

the horror on all their faces when courtney says they're lucky that fans dont ask them to do something funny in public when they meet them

grilled cheese scale: ify's are solid. ally is a good cook but they're allergic to bread, vic inconclusive

vic loves the joke of being called vehicular and would change their government name to it even LMAO

izzy roland shoutout!!!!!

ify's sex dungeon would also be where he paints warhammer minis.

"what is your favorite thing that he did" "...anthony?" "yeah" "th. this? this channel? this right here?"

SZA talked about ify on VIP in a variety article???

SZA INTENTIONALLY DRESSED UP LIKE IFY WAS ON VIP?????

this is like the first time i saw mxmtoon commented on zac's instagram except magnified by a hundred

"Grimes if you're watching this, slide into the DMs"

ally fanning themselves going "thats actually too hot i simply need to go" hearing that lana del rey graduated studying philosophy with an emphasis in metaphysics

everyone at this table ships ally beardsley and lana del rey

nice to know ify and em are still together!

"do you consider yourself an angel of death? i consider myself an angel of death for network television" vic talking about how theyve been on SO many second-to-last episodes of shows that were canceled 😭

Super fun and insightful!!!! we dont get to see these three vibe together much on screen 🥺 video under cut!

[poisonousquinzel]

my main issue with Harlivy not being monogamous is that the idea exists solely because DC is homophobic. I think, in some worlds, they could have a healthy poly relationship, obviously I love harliva (Gotham City Sirens), I stand by that this would be a wonderful dynamic if ya know written by competent and skilled writers who actually understand all their characters.

And frankly I dont feel like Harley is one who typically would be okay with sharing the person she's in love with. she's just not. maybe in a case where she and the person she's in love with / dating are both also in love with another, who's equally into the both of them.

But

That's not what's happening in Harley & Ivy's comics right now. That's not what's ever happened with this "open relationship".

I think Mason was healthy and sweet for Harley, from what I remember, but Ivy didn't love him and he didn't love Ivy. It's understandable to a degree, Ivy's reasonings and such, and in a different world with better writers I think that aspect could have been explored and developed.

Because Ivy does, truly, deeply, love Harley, and the idea she would be okay with Harley having hookups, etc, could be explained in a way that would make sense. Particularly during the part of Harley's arc that the 2014/2016 comics were, well, were supposed to be, dealing with.

She's freshly broken up with Joker, not really fully into a healing phase either, and isn't in the right mindset to be like settling down and thinking of Forever again. Harlivy's relationship is strong and built on friendship, so even in the beginning there while their relationship isn't Platonic, it's not "Officially Dating", Ivy knows how deeply Harley also cares about her. She also knows Harley isn't in a good place, and neither was she.

So her being okay, or outright happy for Harley, being loved by other people would make some sense because all Ivy's tried to do their whole friendship is prove that she deserved better, that she deserved to be loved and cherished. And as long as whoever is the pick of the month for Harley is someone who makes her feel happy and loved, then Ivy wouldn't feel jealous over it because damn, good for her being so happy messing around with someone who isn't as nasty and cruel as Joker. And it wouldn't take away from the real underlying feelings the two women have for one another.

But, again, that's not what this is. And it is now a "dynamic" that's bled into both Poison Ivy (2022) and Harley Quinn (2021), and has ultimately (due to the sheer lack of shown conversations or anything) devolved to borderline cheating.

In all honestly, this isn't a thing that'd exist if she was still with Joker and him alone. 1000%.

She would be with him and him only and would be depressed, insecure and jealous if he had a "friend" like Janet who he'd fucked before and continued to keep around.

This concept was only introduced because DC wouldn't allow for Harlivy to be openly in a monogamous relationship in 2014/2016. This is the company that in 2013 lost both the artist and writer for the Batwoman comic (artist: JH Williams III and writer: W. Haden Blackman) due to the company refusing to allow them to show Kate get married. It's not ooc for them to have refused to let them be monogamous, especially since Harlivy wasn't even allowed to be shown kissing on the lips at the time.

cause forbid sapphic women are allowed to be shown being outright loving and romantic with each other and doing something as ridiculously simple and mundane as a lip kiss, but having Ivy grab her ass in front of two dudes is totally okay cause it's hot.

it's so hot in fact that they needed to add in Tool dude, a fucking loser ass creep, saying "homina" in response to getting to see these two hot ladies like this. It seems like this is supposed to be a version of "Hummina"

Wiktionary: used to express that one has a strong reaction that cannot be expressed in words, especially when expressing embarrassment or sexual attraction.

Urban Dictionary: gibberish used to convey excitement or immediate sexual attraction to someone that takes your breath away.

Or the definitions for "Homina" itself

Urban Dictionary: A word, normally repeated three times, to express shock, befuddlement, or general speechlessness. Often when looking at a particularly attractive member of the speaker's favored sex

-

A sound you make when you see someone very attractive and beautiful. Similar to "hubba-hubba" or "a-woo-gah a-woo-gah" or "rwaaaarrr!"

[AND! I think the dynamics with her relationships with Joker and Ivy during the Mad Love arc is ridiculously complex and cannot be boiled down to "she cheats on him with Ivy so its in character for them to not be monogamous" because it takes away all context of both relationships and the mental state she'd have been in during that arc that was directly caused by him.

Her hooking up with Ivy while still being on / off again with Joker, a man who had broken her mind, her bones and her self esteem, is not at all similar or equatable to the pointless, ooc strange plot threads that've been published recently that frankly are just starting to feel like it's playing into biphobic stereotypes]

anyyyhoo, those are my thoughts<3 I have to finish cleaning my room now I sporadically wrote this on a short break SKDJSJKSKSKS

[velvetvexations]

I was the anon from yesterday who said they would come back and say something more articulate about it, and here I am, making good on that promise (I hope), even though it is fairly late at night again.

One of the reason I don't understand TMA/TME is that systemic oppression doesn't really care about your identity. Are transfems the primary target or transmisogyny? Yes. Are they the only people it ever affects? No, because systems of oppression generally don't care who else gets hurt, and for systems like most kind of transphobia, it is partially about control. It wants you to conform, and it does not care how many transmascs, cis women, or cis men it has to hurt to do that. 

As you might've picked up, I am disabled, so I feel a bit more comfortable making this comparison, (and no I am not saying that transmisogyny functions in the same way as ableism, they can play into each other but they are different), but it's why nobody has tried to come up either the phrase "ableism exempt", for example, because it is a deeply ingrained system that will make life harder for everyone else, in trying to prevent disabled people from existing in public/at all. And I wouldn't say that abled and neurotypical people who experience an instance of ableism are splash damage, or even misdirected, because it's not unintentional, it is very intentional actually, but oppression against a minority group will also be applied to anyone with a perceived similarity or closeness to that minority group.

From my experience, there's also sometimes somewhat of a misunderstanding of the ideas of systemic and interpersonal privilege and oppression. Because for example, someone who passes as a man, in a lot of interpersonal situations, will have obvious privilege over someone perceived as a woman, assuming that they are the same race, class, ability, etc (funnily enough it gets more complicated when you start introducing other factors, but I'm trying to keep this relatively simple), but even if they are both trans, or intersex, neither of them has any meaningful systemic privilege, because neither of them are oppressing the other in that regard. And then if a man is visibly trans or intersex? Then they might not even have much privilege interpersonally. They can wield transmisogyny against a transfem, but so can literally anyone, including other transfems? It's not indicative of meaningful amounts of privilege.

These are just thoughts, so they might not be the most exciting to read, but they're at least somewhat coherent. 

Very well reasoned, anon. <3 I agree with you about the ableism comparison.

[alverelover]

[benevolenterrancy]

~ Extremely Unwilling Magical Protagonists Attempt To Outrun The Plot And Not Fucking Die ~

(@takofukkatsumi this tag is from a while ago but it hasn't left my brain -- L-Space got very weird all of a sudden)

[isthatacalzone]

me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*

also me: ..................anyway

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.