#this is how i compliment people okay
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new jash twitter photo :0
[photo for ones who do not have the app]
#cant believe bro is flexing the he's going into 2024 before most of us smh/j#also i love the lil smiley#just a :)#jokes aside this has been a wild year for me both positively & negatively but these songs have help so so much on both ends#an I'm glad dudes having fun still makin em#cant believe he blinked for the photo tho like wow. NO effort into this[/j ofc]#this is how i compliment people okay#if im confident enough to “insult” you that means i think you're a neat swell person :}#chonny jash#moss post#im far into the tags now so like#again i mean this in the MOST aroace way possible but man he's so pretty dude#also gender envious a bit#bro is very pretty & i wanna look that pretty#okay im shush now but#wild year for me & music is very helpful for mental stuff#i say this knowing his minecraft sheesh cover exists but like#it was a very emotional piece okay ❤/j
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵
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Decided to make this a poll because I'm genuinely unsure how other author folks feel about this particular case!
If you are a writer, please reblog for larger sample size!
#I have seen other authors say that they hate comments like this#Me as an author I actually find it a high compliment#that they would be willing to try something written by me that they might not from another author#that feels like trust baby!#I've also seen people say they're okay with it as long as the wording is gentle/neutral#but that nobody wants to hear a reader go on about how much you hate the thing this author clearly doesn't hate
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i’m very invested in the tragic aspects of the dynamic, but the degree to which Flint is Billy’s Emotionally Unavailable Father is also just very, very funny. He doesn’t even dislike Billy, but he never says a nice thing about him to his face even once.
#he says nice things about him to like. six other people throughout the show#but giving a direct compliment? impossible. unheard of.#the closest they get is probably the nod Flint gives him in 1.05#and he lets him die later that same day - so idk if i can count that in good conscience#and also like… he literally never knows how Billy feels about anything and he doesn’t care#i think the only time he actually asks him is in 2.07#and after that he’s like ah well it’s probably fine#and it’s like. well. it’s probably NOT fine based on easily observable evidence but okay#i have more to say but this is going to be a multi-post situation#black sails
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Okay I just need to say that I knew I'd like this Tailstube as soon as I saw the thumbnail (after all, I am a Sonadails enjoyer, and Tails is literally in the middle of them in the thumbnail)
But I think probably something that stood out the most to me when I watched it was just
The hints that Shadow and Tails have a relationship outside of Sonic??
The first thing that tipped me off to this was that not only did Tails convince Shadow to join in on his show, he also convinced him to stick around to its natural end?? You know, Shadow. The guy you can't force to do anything and frequently will just dip if he's bored or doesn't want to be there. But even while Sonic was annoying him and he made it clear he wanted the "interview" over with, he still never made a move to chaos control out of there because of any of this.
And the second thing that tipped me off was this:
When Shadow is both confused and annoyed at Sonic, he chooses to complain to Tails about Sonic. And so Tails steps in to try to "explain" what Sonic meant by what he said (i.e he told Shadow something much nicer in the interest of getting them to be on better terms). The fact that he looks to Tails to complain to about Tails' own best friend and possibly even to explain that which he does not understand in a social context tells me just how highly he regards Tails. And since both Shadow and Sonic are being childish here, it's amusing to see Tails regarded as something closer to a trusted figure with more power here.
From an objective analysis standpoint, of course this means they have their own friendship. And this is a prospect I enjoy (The idea that Tails and Shadow are good friends)! It actually means a lot to me that Tails could form a frienship or bond with Shadow outside of the context of Sonic (in terms of who initiates it and for what reason it's initiated).
But, my friends, from a biased standpoint, I'm shipping trash. And to me this Tailstube was a fun show for Sonadails fans. Honestly, Tails staging this episode to get Sonic and Shadow to talk and "bury the hatchet", as well as how he acts during the show, read a lot to me personally like a guy trying to get his two boyfriends (who happen to be rivals) to get on better terms, if not just tolerate each other. I quite like the idea of Tails dating both of these idiots and just trying to get them to play nice when they're all together (although frankly I think the ideal scenario for Tails in my biased reading is that Sonic and Shadow get together as well).
This is also not to mention the dynamics showcased here! Sonic and Tails as best friends, with Sonic assuming that he and Tails were gonna talk shit about Shadow behind his back, and Tails trying to get him to play nicer. Shadow and Tails as friends, with Tails trying to convince him why he and Sonic are in the perfect position to become friends and helping him out socially, and with Shadow choosing to do something he doesn't want to because of Tails, as well as looking to Tails to complain to when Sonic is annoying him or when he doesn't understand something. And then there's Sonic and Shadow. In short, their relationship in this episode reminded me a lot of the dynamic I plotted out for that Sonadow post I wrote up where the two just beat the crap out of each other. In slightly longer terms, I find interesting how Mr. Flynn maintained Sonic and Shadow's dynamic during SA2 (with Sonic bothering Shadow and trying to fight him, while Shadow is just annoyed that Sonic won't leave him alone) while also showing the audience that they are rivals. And in longer terms...Sonic was clearly seeking a fight during this episode. And the facial expression, the mocking, his tone of voice, it doesn’t really matter whether or not he actually dislikes Shadow and believes they could never be friends. He's trying to annoy Shadow and goad him into a fight because he wants to fight Shadow so badly it makes him look stupid. And we can tell by how he expresses his confusion to Tails that Shadow is just not getting this. To him Sonic is just being annoying and confusing. Sonic is targeting him specifically, and Shadow shoots back with his own words. And so it's also pointed that Shadow reciprocates/actually decides to fight Sonic when Sonic specifically challenges him. He doesn't respond to Sonic trying to goad him on, but when Sonic challenges him specifically he's much more interested in opposing him.
Anyways guys I love Shadow and Tails having a soft on the side relationship while Sonic flirts by convincing Shadow to fight him somehow😂💖
#sonic the hedgehog#tailstube#sonadails#sonshadails#sonadow#sontails#shadails#shadow the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#i just be ramblin#man there are so many things about this episode#Another personal favorite interaction was when#Tails: Come on could you try to just say one nice thing about each other? One compliment? Please?#Sonic‚ mockingly: Anything you can do I can do better#Shadow: Yeah? Do it then. Prove it.#Sonic: Ah crap he called my bluff#Sonic: I uh...I love the way you...chaos control?#Tails: Okay. You do one now Shadow#Shadow: I uh... I also love the way you chaos control. ...It's impressive that you could do it with a fake emerald#Tails: See? You can compliment each other! Sorta#Sonic is on the aro/ace spectrum to me but to me his most compelling relationships are always little buddy effect related and knuckles#effect related#Which just means that he tends to hold relationships like his and Tails highly (and has taken more than one little buddy)‚ but is also#attracted to people who have tried to kill him. What can I say? He loves the softness and domesticity of having a smaller loyal partner as#he loves the danger and exhilaration of fighting/racing a strong opponent#Sonic and Shadow fighting (and especially Sonic trying to get Shadow to fight him on purpose) is just baseline what the two need#for 'toxic yaoi' so if someone can't even handle how hostile they were during the tailstube then...#Anyways‚ how we feelin Sonshadails fans?
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you use—"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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i can’t take compliments seriously so i just look at people like this:
#if you ever give me a compliment and i just respond with “wahoo!” thats me doing this#i can’t give compliments for the life of me either#i just smile at people and give them thumbs up#HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS#obviously i appreciate and love getting compliments but how tf do i respond to that#“thank you 🙂”#okay 😭😭#wish does not shut up
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"Ai, living has no answer."
"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.
If there are no absolute, then what's left?
Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.
That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.
That's what life is.
I have to do that forever?
Yes.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah.
I'd need to be so strong.
That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.
You can't rush living."
So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.
#yu gi oh#vrains#vrains spoilers#SPOILERS#how do you tag so it really really doesn't show too obviously because seriously I'd feel horrible for completely spoiling#but I still wanted to share it because I KEEP CRYING#i told my *therapist* about it and we had almost a whole session about bonds and what they mean in terms of support and pressure#I also posted the quote on Facebook last week for my birthday with no explanation and completely out of context#and it was so amazing to have people compliment me on it and ask if they could reuse it#those were the same people who told me that anime would make my brain rot 20 years ago so that's nice turntable and all#i really want to write something heartfelt about it but i'm just rambling and honestly the quote is self-sufficient#i guess i'll just have to find a way to get it tattooed somewhere on my back now because it feels like the only way for me to recover#“I get it now; if you have bonds no one will forget you.” “I won't forget you.”#Vrains quote#VRAINS FEELS#i can't wait for more post-canon in Duel Links#maybe beginning of 2025 if i calculated correctly?#hoping for Akira Zaizen and his Tindangle deck that I'll be happy to destroy with my Revolver deck#and i also have kilowords upon kilowords to write about EVERYTHING but i still need a bit more time#okay that's too many tags i'm done gonna cry a Nile and a half now bye#edit HEY I FIGURED OUT THE “READ MORE” THING I feel less afraid of spoiling now but seriously if you haven't watched Vrains yet stop readin
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i fucking give up men have less humanity and dignity to me than dogs
#like i don't know how to explain to you this is not really a private account you have. it's a Blog. okay? a blog. you post on.#and if you predominantly post pornographic images of women. it IS werid and is always gonna be weird to interact with a stranger's nonsexual#selfie in that context.#like i can't even put it into words more clearly#if you go around town#touching yourself and playing porno on full sound#people aren't gonna take staring or compliments too lightly#too... positively.#fuck off!
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity
#got some memories with that app#at first it was just sitting there bc I couldn’t stop myself from tracking the calories of some things#but after a 13 day streak shit could only get worse so I deleted it#proud of myself#that thing had me in chokehold last year did not want a repeat#tw myfitnesspal#tw mentions of eating disorder#random post#ooc post#kind of vent#???#started to wake up stressed out about what I’m gonna eat and I was like nooo not ts again#was literally restricting myself to 1200 cals a day AND IM 5’7#tw eating issues#sucks when you’re not even underweight so you don’t feel valid#waitttt I was not meant to trauma dump in this post#can we not bring being 2000s model skinny back into being trendy bc why are body types a tend in the first place#I can change fashion but definitely not my body#no bc this world is fucked up why was I scared to die alone bc I wasn’t skinny when I was literally 10#I hate that it’s normalized to praise people’s bodies#like idc if that makes me soft but a girl just living and everyone just talking about how good her body is#why is that okay bc yes it is positive but it also creates so many negatives#like does anyone get what I mean#it’s a compliment but it also makes everyone including that person afraid to be anything but ‘body goals’#idk how to explain it but like imo bodies shouldn’t serve aesthetic purposes#they actually have functions and needs and they allow us to live#tw body image issues#I hate wiead’s too but that’s just because why is everyone’s food so gourmet I literally just slap some butter onto toast lol#late night post
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I think we gotta start recognizing that "things accepted online/in leftist spaces" and "things accepted by the general public in the real world" are two very different things. like no actually gnc men are Not suddenly seen as okay because there are drag queens on tiktok. men are still beaten and harassed and ostracized and Killed for being feminine. in the us. in my very liberal city full of ppl with blue hair and pronouns I am made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome for being a gnc guy. the tiktok comments on videos of men wearing make up are not indicative of the beliefs of most people
#idk its just very weird to see ppl imply that gnc men are accepted actually#like what world are you living in that thats true#strangers make weird comments to me all the time and I see a noticable difference between how I am treated and how gc ppl are treated#I am misgendered on purpose All The Time by randos#like absolutely point out that gnc women are treated worse/have not been accepted in spaces where gnc men have/etc#but you cannot be saying that being a feminine man is now seen as okay that is so wildly untrue in like the real actual world#this goes for a lot of other things as well#like when a woman is a creep and ppl are like 'well if the roles were reversed yall would say its bad'#and its like yeah maybe online or in your liberal friend group#ppl who call men out for things don't call out women for the same stuff#and that should be discussed#but for most of the public no one is calling out men for creepy behavior#like notoriously#also even online ppl are very hateful??? like all the time#the top 5 comments on a video of a man wearing a dress may be telling him that he hashtag slays#put I promise you for every compliment there are dozens of people calling him slurs#anyway please please please touch some grass engage in social issues outside of instagram I'm begging#ghost posts#text
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“Slut your wrists! Kill yourself! then you post a selfie saying “Don’t want to smile feel weird about it” as a desperate attempt to get compliments. You’re in your mid twenties doing all this😭 Grow up you’re not a teenager anymore. 30 is closer than ever and you’re breaking down because someone asked if you cry a lot? Someone mentions your jowls and you freak out. You tell them to kill themselves. People your age are Mothers. You might not have any but act your age. Geez.
my dick must taste fantastic for how far you're throating it
#I'm not doing it for attention <3 i literally am just talking and expressing myself <3 my therapist said i can say kill yourself <3#and if you could read which clearly you can't you would know that they didn't say it to be nice or anything they wanted to hurt my feelings#sorry I'm human and get hurt because i don't like how i look sometimes that's 100% okay dumbass#and you must think I'm stupid to live in utah and not know people are mothers do you think Im oblivious and don't already feel awful#what have you gained from this cause i don't really care what you think i don't care what anyone really thinks I'm not doing anything for#attention i am just using this as my diary and i post a silly lil selfie when i go to therapy but clearly you don't know that#i literally am around children all day i know what is like to be a mom what do you know tho?#i actually REALLY hate when people compliment me when I'm just saying i don't like something is really annoying I'm just being polite#but you think you know everything and love to ride my dick so#anyway have a great day even tho you're really pathetic and i should know cause I'm also really pathetic#also can't spell 🫵 think you said something important 🫵
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the parallels......
#martzipan#good omens#ineffable husbands#they make me CRAZYYYYYY#torment. fate is so cruel#anywho. not used to using real people as reference. simultaneously easier and harder#also. for like the second kiss i've ever drawn this isn't half bad#i think my fav part of these was realizing their nose shapes complimented each other. that made me so happy#my friends were tormenting me while i was coloring this. telling me to render the lips as shiny as possible#'put a little tongue in there' i will not change the lineart 'find a way to make it happen'#they cured my fear of posting cringe tho. which is a cool side effect#i love rough coloring. it's so quick but so so good looking#i can't wait to figure out their shapes. and all the crowley haircuts. slicked back hair is a struggle why'd he do that to me#OKAY tag talk over. if this gets less notes than the fucking shitpost does i don't know how i'll feel
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STATISTICAL “WHICH CHARACTER” PERSONALITY QUIZ
tagged : @malinaa (thanks lys ily 🫶) tagging : @rosesau | @brimay | @lvnchs | @permanentreverie | @tolerateit | @greenribon | @hellshee | @ronandreams | @henwilsons | @newtmsa and whoever wants to do this rules : take this test and present who you got as the characters most similar 2 u
Marianne Sheridan (Normal People): 85%
Eve Polastri (Killing Eve): 81%
Josh Lyman (The West Wing): 80%
Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice): 80%
Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy): 80%
Paula Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend): 80%
Beth Harmon (The Queen's Gambit): 80%
Hazel Grace Lancaster (The Fault in Our Stars): 80%
Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones): 79%
C. J. Cregg (The West Wing): 79%
#not marianne from normal people and eve polastri from killing eve 💀 kinda hate crimed myself there lol#very exposing for me lol#also hazel grace lancaster i am SOBBING#that one i take as a personal insult lmao#i take elizabeth bennet and beth harmon kind of as compliments#also i'm familiar with 6 out of 10. not too shabby.#when looking at my top 20 the other ones i know from there are:#12. Betty Cooper (Riverdale): 79%; 15. Cassie Thomas (Promising Young Woman): 79%; 17. Laurel Castillo (How To Get Away With Murder): 78%#not the character i'd have picked for moi but. okay i guess.#tag game
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covert npd is awesome and i want to live and i’m going to listen to song about pirates
#the crier#forgot the tag. sorry. please block that if you’re not comfortable with this#i’m sorry i’ll draw something soon later i promise i’m sorry#i can’t even rethink my life choices because honestly i would’ve found some other thing to absolutely wreck myself over and it’d basically#be the same thing. i don’t want to just. rot or something anymore. i do not want rest. i do not want a break and to come back when i feel#better. i want to stop feeling entirely. i want to be nothing again and not in worth but in how i exist. i do not want to exist anymore#it doesn’t even feel like they hate me. it’s just that everything i did was nothing. i hate that it was nothing. i hate that i loved so muc#and it was nothing. that was everything i was. what else do i have but what i made. it’s everything to me and nothing to everyone#they are everything to me and to everyone they are just ‘okay’. you won’t talk about it again. you won’t think of it again#if my creations could feel they would not care so why do i have to. i want to say it’s the creations that make me happy but its the attenti#ion. i don’t know. i don’t want to rely on it. seeing them makes me happy but it’s nothing anymore once i realize nobody cares but me#this isn’t even a real fucking issue. i’m fine realistically i should be good as long as i don’t make another issue for myself#i just don’t know though. the issue is me and well by extending my life i am basically harming everyone else. maybe my creations deserve#to be looked over because they are helping something that shouldn’t be here exist. i wish i didn’t exist. i hate myself i don’t know#it’s just. i’m worthless. i have no real reason to be here other than to annoy people. if people don’t love what i made then i will have to#face that my existence isn’t worth anything. i won’t HAVE to live anymore. and i want to live but at the same time if i don’t have to be#here then why should i fight against myself? i don’t even know what i would say i don’t want to entertain the possibility so i keep fightin#i just want to live i want to live so fucking bad and i can only live if they exist and if you see them too#a real death would mean nothing to me but i’m dead the second anyone looks away and i’m scared andi’m sweating and i hate this an#i’m going to bed now#idk i just want to add if someone’s reading this i’m never insincere when i compliment something that’s better than me. it’s better than wh#at i did that’s why i’m complimenting it. it’s just i wish that i was as good too
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