#this is going to have multiple chapters

[academyofbrokenhearts]

Instead of Dancing Alone, I Should Be Dancing with You (I)

What if Kaya would have been fully open and honest with Suna during their talk in 44? How would it have changed things between them?

AU.

Author note: Probably slightly OOC for both Kaya and Suna, but I was very interested in exploring the possibility of them trusting each other from the beginning and being real allies (and more). I have no idea how long this will be, but I do plan to write more than one chapter.

Shout out to @lovecaitlined, for listening to this idea and encouraging me to write.

Title taken from "Out of Control", a song from She Wants Revenge. There are so many songs of theirs that remind me of this pair.

AO3 link here.

After the entire commotion has finally ended, and after listening at the door for a while to make sure everyone has retired for the night, Suna exits her room, trying to be as silent as possible.

She had time to think things through, after the humiliation caused by her father and the anger caused by Ferit and Seyran's comments eased up a bit. She doesn't really think she will ever be able to remember the entire incident without feeling extreme shame - not due to her actions, but because Kaya had to witness the hell that is her life at present.

Even now, she is not sure about her feelings for Kaya. She had felt hurt when he initially rejected her, but, after thinking things through a bit, she realises that it was probably as much for her benefit as it was for his. And then he really stepped up to help her, even though he didn't have to - it was not his battle to fight. But she can't drag him down with her. Attraction by itself, even mutual attraction, is not a solid basis for a marriage, and she hates even the mere idea that he might help her out of pity.

With silent steps, she approaches his window, and knocks once, twice, praying he hasn't gone to sleep. When he does not answer immediately, she knocks again, more insistently, and shortly after, the curtain moves, and he appears at the window, opening it as soon as he sees her.

"Suna?" he asks, slight surprise in his voice. "What happened? Did something happen?"

Just my entire life happened, is Suna's first, bitter thought, but she shoves it away. Kaya showed her kindness, and now it's time for her to show him kindness in return.

"I... I can't sleep," she responds, swallowing tightly. "I need to talk to you, because it can't go on like this."

At this, he sits down on the edge of the window, not taking his eyes from her.

"Okay," he says, "calm down. Let's talk."

"I am more calm now," she begins, carefully choosing her words. "I feel better. And I really want to tell you how grateful I am. Really, thank you. And... I also want to apologise, because... you really don't need to get married to me purely for my sake. I was afraid that dad would do something to you, and this is why I panicked and said what I said, but... don't feel like you have to do something. I will find a way, somehow. I will solve this matter, okay? What I mean, is that the marriage will not happen. So please relax, don't worry."

He listens carefully, without interrupting her in any way, and when she finally falls silent, he hops down the window, standing in front of her. They are dressed the same, Suna notices. Dark clothes, white shoes. Incredible how she can still notice these small details, with dread clutching her heart like this - because yes, she says she will find a solution, but can she, really?

"It will happen," he then says, gazing down at her, his voice serious, steady.

She blinks in surprise, because whatever reaction she had expected from him, it wasn't this.

"What do you mean?"

Kaya's eyes soften ever so slightly.

"Listen," he begins. "Suna. I need you to listen to me very carefully, and not take this the wrong way, because hurting you is the last thing I want to do."

An echo of the words he said in his room, Suna realises, and soldiers on. After the unexpected kindness he showed to her, listening to him is the least thing she can do.

"Tell me," she says.

Kaya takes a deep breath, looks at the night sky, then back at her.

"Whatever thoughts you have in your head," he says, "just erase them all. Whatever people have told you tonight, everything that happened. Erase everything. This is not about them, this is about me and you. And I need you to know that, in spite of not knowing you for long, I do believe you are one of the most genuine people I met. Maybe ever. So please tell me the truth: will this marriage work in your favour?"

Suna blinks again, this time in disbelief, because this. This is new for her.

Perhaps not that new though, she understands, remembering again the scene in his room, prior to their kiss, and the careful way he spoke to her.

He was actually giving her a choice - and she, not used to this, misinterpreted everything.

"I... I mean..."

"Go ahead," he says, and the gentleness in his tone is so obvious that Suna wants to cry. "Tell me what's in your head."

"It... I mean, it would obviously work in my favour, but-"

"Then this is what we are going to do," Kaya interrupts, determination in his voice. "We are going to get married, and to hell with them all. I'll have your back no matter what."

"But... but why?" Suna asks, completely incapable to process, because surely this can't be happening? Why would a man who was a stranger to her not so long ago derail his own life just for her sake?

At that, he smiles at her. It's a bit sad, this smile. An expression she has not seen before on his face, but she recognises it instantly. It's how she imagines she must look ever so often - when things never work in her favour, when she is always set aside, trampled over, when she does not have a say in her own life.

"Maybe it's because I admire you," he speaks softly, eyes glimmering. "Maybe it's because I look at you, and I see how brave you can be, in spite of everything they did and still do to you, and I think how rare this is. But ultimately, Suna, it's because I genuinely like you as a person, and I think we could be good for each other. You deserve to have a choice, and I promise you now that if you choose me, I will treat you well. There have been marriages starting from less than that, I am sure."

She doesn't even notice she's crying at first, but then he gets closer to her, and his fingers wipe her cheeks with the same tenderness like in his room, before the kiss. He doesn't kiss her this time around, though; instead, he keeps talking.

"I am not the best man out there, Suna. There are many things that you don't know about me. You said to me earlier that I could not understand because I grew up in London and had a different life, but... you know, my life wasn't that easy either. And you must understand that I never make promises to people I despise. I only make promises to people I respect. If there is anything you need to know for the time being, let it be that, and also the fact that no one can force me to do something I do not want to do. So don't worry about me being forced into anything. The choice is yours and yours alone. I have already made mine."

Suna presses her hand over her heart, because it's the first time he spoke to her so directly, and she can tell he means what he says.

A choice.

She has a choice.

Kaya waits for a bit, then when she fails to respond, he smiles again, all traces of sadness suddenly gone.

"Maybe I do need to do a better work of convincing you," he says, and turns around, approaching the green fence in front of them.

"What are you doing?" Suna asks, finally able to speak.

"Wait for it," he says, and, a few seconds later, he turns back, kneeling in front of her, a ring made of leaves in his hand, and Suna is dangerously close to crying again when he adds: "Marry me."

She can scarcely recognise her own voice when she answers:

"Okay."

[mattodore]

playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

[laylajeffany]

Between healing bees and Wednesday identifying her sexuality in a clinical setting, Enid can not prepare for what's next in her new life.

[sunbudc]

he doesn't know how to play jenga

[ID: Two colored illustrations of Bartholomew Kuma and Jewelry Bonney from Shōnen Jump series One Piece by Eiichirō Oda. Bonney's appearance is based loosely on SBS Volume 64 when the author drew her and the other supernovas as children. The upper righthand drawing is in portrait form and depicts Kuma holding Bonney steady on his shoulder as she waves to passersby. The larger lowermost picture is of them playing Jenga; Bonney is popping out from under the fallen Jenga tower and is visibly upset at Kuma, implying that he had knocked it over and accidentally buried her. End ID]

[moonlit-dreamers]

angst be upon ye

lyrics from fourth of july by sufjan stevens - was listening to the song and went "this is perfect for them"

small note: this lyric could be said to either of them by the other, i just chose to have solstice say it to sunshine

[raifuujin]

“I just don't like Gosho's use of ideas nowadays” do you have some examples? I’ve been feeling the same but I still don’t have like articulate thoughts on it

Well, 'nowadays' has been for. About ten years, ish? The most glaring example that always sticks out in my mind is the Sun Halo MK chapters, with the complete and utter waste of the very common fanfic tropes of 'Aoko gets suspicions' and 'Kid gets injured around someone'. But it kind of matches the general problem I have with his writing that I don't think used to be this bad: He's trying to stuff too much around the strict case-by-case structure (or for MK, introducing the heist-by-heist structure) without actually giving anything focus. (And for MK it's so much worse because he writes it so rarely, that he makes everyone cameo every time but they tend to just get hand waves to whatever drama plot gets instigated by Kid having his next heist.)

For DC, it's the whole. 1) Overarching plot with the BO and suspects and 'here's the available suspects for who's involved with the BO that we introduce one at a time at the end of cases and then maybe leave more clues about them during future cases'. 2) Dangling character or relationship progress and then constantly pulling it away, usually as a joke. 3) When we do occasionally get some of the major plot, it's all at once and then maybe mentioned once in the next case, but otherwise completely dropped. (Amuro and Akai and Kudo tea party tease also lingers as a 'Gosho is just evil at this point'.) Basically rigid structure that doesn't allow for much of the subplots aside from breadcrumbs.

For the current situation, it's also tied into interview comments. Which. have no bearing on the story until he actually uses them. But instead of even that, the movie gets exciting stuff instead and puts it in a giant limbo of is it meant to be canon or not, because no one has been able to settle on that for any movie, even as some details get connected back to the manga more and more.

It's bad writing. Gosho has been a bad writer for a long time, and it's kinda just getting worse. It's my opinion that it's because he tries to have his case after case after case (because mystery manga), and then stuff little bits of everything else in the seams, whether it works well with the case he's writing or if it's a good delivery or (more usually) it's just. Kinda tacked on.

It's partially because of time investment, partially because I have low standards of entertainment, and partially because I want to see how it all ends that I stick with DC. MK is. Similar, but hurts more because I really hate how it morphed into the DC structure when old MK had more you could do with it. Gosho will never drop his rigid case-by-case structure at this point, but it really would be better if he did at this point. Things need development that they're not allowed to have. Or at least smooth out the lines between his hints. And stop with Heiji and Kazuha, just. God. Stop. Is this how people felt about Kid appearances? I feel like at least when people were mad about Kid, they knew nothing was going to happen from the get go, the romance 'tease' is just painful.

[isa-ah]

the way this fic builds the tension so gradually that you genuinely DONT EXPECT IT when it SNAPS on you oh my god. oh my god. "that careful character of terus was not returning." followed by "yesterday was thursday, isari." guess ill just. guess ill just jump off the fucking roof. guess ill jsut rip my shirt open and yell

[syrupyyyart]

I wish I wasn't such a flip flop!!! AAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

On an unrelated noted, I read back the few chapters of Motley I made initially and liked them more than I remember. Aaaaiarugh.

[clotpolesonly]

mister impossible chapter 10 i am kissing you with tongue

[aroaceleovaldez]

i really think there’s so much untapped potential with messing around with the pjo gods canonically having different regional/historical/epithet forms and near constantly existing in multiple places at once. mostly in that I think it’d be extremely funny for more demigods to interact with different historical versions of the gods.

give me Nico interacting with Mycenaean Dionysus who both is and isn’t his dad and also is his therapist. All at once. weirdest therapy sessions ever. or Percy interacting with Mycenaean Poseidon and being confused why this version of his dad is both king of the gods and also a chthonic deity. or Hermes kids and satyrs having the very awkward situation of super old Hermes and Pan are the same guy. The gang meets Zagreus and Everybody Has A Weird One cause this guy both is and isn’t Zeus, Hades, and Dionysus, and/or some combo of their kids? What.

[pttucker]

Despite the lack of time, Yoo Joonghyuk hesitated. He hesitated while holding tightly to my collar. "…We don't have to hold another funeral, right?" I smiled because of Yoo Joonghyuk's question. "Even if I die, I will rise again." "That isn't what I mean." Yoo Joonghyuk's expression was serious. A high wind blew between me and Yoo Joonghyuk. I looked at him for a moment before asking, "Do you remember the second scenario?" The subway of Oksu Station. It was where Yoo Joonghyuk first appeared after smashing everything. He was a cold-blooded regressor who would use whatever means necessary for the results. Yoo Joonghyuk's calm eyes shook at my words. Who would've known at the time? Me and this guy, we would actually end up as companions. I hadn't wanted to admit it but now I had to. The things that hadn't seemed possible became reality. I was actually going through the scenarios with him. That's why I could now say it. Just like I did when I first met him on Han River Bridge. This was the way that suited us best. "Release your hand and get lost, you damn son of a bitch."

*Screaming*

Hey guys, remember when Heewon and Dokja had that totally random conversation about dating right in the middle of the arc about figuring out who the person Dokja loves most is?

Remember how Heewon said that Dokja's the type of person to want a "fateful meeting"?

[cirrus-grey]

I know it's kind of the point, the passions of man versus the indifferent cruelty of nature, but it is amazing to me how much the Whale in Moby Dick just does not give a fuck.

The whole book sets it up as this malicious, intelligent demon that has it out for humans and wants to kill them all, and then when the Pequod finally catches up to it it's just... puttering along, enjoying the weather, having a grand old time. Even after they attack it and it destroys one of the boats it just kind of sits in the water nearby swatting at debris with its tail and ignoring them. Even at the end, the final destruction of the ship and deaths of all the crew, it kind of just has this attitude of like. Hey. You. I thought I told you to fuck off. Like -

Ahab: From Hell's heart I stab at thee!

The Whale: Oh, not you again. 🙄

[st0p-sign]

tiny PSA for trolls fanfic writers who are making (or have made) the move from wattpad to AO3

referring to your fics as "books" is a dead giveaway that you came from wattpad

[the-lady-amphitrite]

have really not felt like writing bc of the Mental Illness the last couple weeks. so today's pleasant surprise was opening a fairytale beginning and immediately being able to toss some words onto the page!

[wrenhavenriver]

just wrote 1500 words of lies of p fanfic in one sitting

[waitineedaname]

I need to bring my fucking Brand™️ to the mdzs fandom and write an aro fic