#this is genuinely distressing me
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@staff this new dashboard?
#put it back#I want my old dashboard back#I don't like this#at all#this is genuinely distressing me#dashboard#tumblr dashboard
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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I am upset. I wanted to make a joke using the “wink wonk” homestuck gifs, with the rapid alternative eye blinking, and apparently they don’t exist anymore
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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taskmaster is such a funny concept though they really said "okay we force five comedians do increasingly pointless, humiliating, and hilarious tasks, while the host bullies them all mercilessly. also the host's assistant is in a slightly concerning psychosexual dom/sub relationship with him, and gets off on the humiliation. and despite all of this it somehow feels wholesome and not Actually Mean. sometimes a swedish man is there"
#taskmaster#sometimes i say something on discord and then i go 'this isf unny enough to me that i shall post it upon hte blog'#no but really this shit is hilarious. the show i mean not me#and what i really appreciate is it balances the mean humor/humiliation with like. genuinely it never actually feels#distressing/or like. anything that isn't genuinely in good fun#like you never get the sense that its not a good time or that any of them are actually hurt in any way#more than like. you know. losing#you know what i mean?#taskmaster uk#grembospeak
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exception(al) | sunday hsr
𖤓 tags ; afab + gn!reader, established relationship, established d/s dynamic (implied to be 24/7), extremely submissive!reader, soft dom!sunday, shoe humping, oral (m!recieving), cock worship, deep throating, lots of praise / pet names, thumb sucking, cum swallowing 18+
𖤓 wc ; 2.2k
𖤓 a/n ; if you care abt me you won't say a word about this post. okay. alright. takes place in this universe, but not required reading.
𖤓 synopsis ; he'd give you anything you ask for. his one love. his only exception.
If Sunday could use one word to describe you, he would pick the plainest option: obedient.
You're other things. Loyal, desperate, beautiful, adoring. There are other words more well-fitted to your character and better words to describe the way you look through his lens. Ethereal. Charming. Provocative
But above all else, if Sunday had to sum up all of your parts he'd choose to put your obedience on the pedestal it deserves to stand on.
Obedience like yours can't be bought with fear, can't even be bought with manipulation. You have to get lucky to find someone so perfectly, unflinchingly obedient in the same way you are.
The leash Sunday keeps you on, intentionally tight, never appears that way on your throat.
That is to say: you bear the suffocation of Sunday's affection so well, a lesser person would be at risk for taking you for granted.
Not Sunday. Never him, of course. No one knows better how much you deserved to be cherished then him. That's how the cycle between you always goes. You live at his beck and call— his mercy. You're obedient with his whims and patient with his insecurities. Eventually, after some time passes, he'll praise and reward your efforts.
(The truth is, Sunday is always one difficult day away from spoiling you. Showering you in his affection after the thread-bare strands of his patience snap is his idea of letting go. There's few things more precious than how doe-eyed you get when he does.
But, a good owner knows to raise loyal pets - you must let them work towards rewards. He refrains for your sake. Always for your sake.)
Sunday always asks you what you want as a reward. Your requests are usually innocuous. Prey-like innocence in your eyes as you fiddle with the ends of his coat and ask for things like a date together or a bath or matching rings.
Sunday sometimes wants to tell you that's not the sort of thing you really need to beg him for. Sunday wants to tell you everything in his order is also yours.
He is yours, just like you're his. Mind, body, soul—devoured heart and all.
(Later, when Aeons abandon Sunday, he will find contentment in the fact you still belong to him. Even falling through Dreams or chained to hell. Still his. )
He doubts he ever will. He will continue along with rewarding you ask. Anything you want, you can earn.
It's rare you ask him for anything sexual so overtly. You do often beg to touch him and it's rare that Sunday lets you. He doesn't like to indulge too often, lest he lose the control that binds him so tightly.
Your latest request is half surprising. The desire to pleasure him being predictable and your bashful request to rub yourself against the toe of his dress shoes being the surprise.
He could tell at the time that it took all of your courage to ask. Clenched fists at the knees, gaze cast down instead of looking into his eyes, fidgety and uncertain.
It's an easy desire to fulfill and Sunday is, by all means, a loving master. If you want it, he'll will it by any means.
"Are you sure this is what you want, my heart?"
The affection bleeds into his voice as he cast his gaze at you. Bent down on your knees, naked from the neck down with the exception of a heather-blue collar with golden embellishments. You flicker your eyes up to him after he speaks to you, but don't talk.
"You may speak," He hums. He places a hand on your head, reaching down to pet your cheek and scratch under your chin. You preen under the silent doting. "It's your reward today, remember?"
"It's important to mind the rules no matter what."
He thinks about bending down and kissing you with a hand on your throat but keeps his composure. Instead, he pats your head and offers a smile. "That's right. Very clever, my dove."
You're elated just hearing it, staring at him. Pure need paints your expression, eyes wet as you squirm naked underneath him. He meets your look patiently, expectantly.
"Use your words."
"My reward," You swallow thickly. "Is it okay if I have?"
"Of course," He appeases your anxiety with a hand cupping your chin, thumb running your lower lip. "Do as you please."
You always wear your heart on your sleeve but it's times like this he finds it most impactful. Excitement radiates off of you in waves, shaky hands fumbling with his slacks. Your fingers are shaking as you unzip them slowly. Each step you take to get him undressed, you look up at him and wait for him to nod. Always obedient.
You get him partially undressed, each step slow - before you permit yourself to pull the rest of his clothes down. His cock springs free from fabric confines as you tuck the band underneath it. He hitches a breath trying not to lose his composure.
"You're hard," You observe in awe. He laughs breathlessly.
"Of course," He tells you staring down at where his cock cast shadow over your face. "It's you, after all."
The praise makes you wide-eyed. You mutter some kind of thank you that he smiles at gently. He can't help but be entertained by how you assess him. You've seen it before, a few times - yet you're awestruck. Every movement is tentative despite all of his encouragement. You mostly stare at it.
"It's alright. Take what you want." Sunday tells you, like it's some sort of gift. You treat it as such.
He feels his stomach tighten as soon as your hands fist the shaft of his cock. You frown a little. "It's really okay?"
"Yes," He hums, suddenly feeling aware of every nerve in his body. Spurred by his approval, Sunday merely watches you. He's fascinated, in his own right.
You're shaking with want by the time you move to do anything.
You stick your tongue out of your mouth tentatively, eyes transfixed on the tip so eagerly it makes his chest feel tight. Sunday is more familiar than most with desperation, but yours he knows like the back of his hand.
And Aeons, don't you look so desperate? The warm wet slide of your tongue is messy as you run it from base to tip, spitting gathered saliva on the tip with each go. It's clumsy, too desperate to count as a kitten lick and too practiced to count as virginal. It falls somewhere in between, like watching desire mix with your perfectionism.
He adjusts himself slightly. He tugs on the leash in your hand to pull your closer until you're wrapped around his leg, cock pressed against your cheek as he pushes you down by the shoulder. You squeak suddenly at the sensation, too enraptured with his cock to remember the other half of your request.
"I won't help you," He hums, teases - something he rarely does. You nod, not expecting it. You never are and it endears him.
There's parts of him that couldn't understand that this is what you wanted. You begged him for it but it felt unfathomable before now.
Your longing for his cock down your throat, in your mouth is so obvious it makes him waver. It's not something he gets used to. You slide your tongue all over his cock, drool giving your skin shine as you wet it over and over not even taking it in your mouth. Just spitting and licking like you're trying to remember every inch with your mouth and burn it into your memory.
Blissed out with your eyes nearly lidded shut, he can feel you rut your soft cunt over the point of his dress shoes over and over all the while.
It's interesting to affirm all the ways you feel pleasure. Sunday knows you let to put something in your mouth. He's fond of the habit - opts for cum soaked gloves or his own tongue to fulfill the urge for you.
This is an extension of your baser desire. Still, still - you do it with remarkable enthusiasm. It would almost feel torturous if you weren't so thorough. You remember points of pleasure on his cock. Along the veins, underneath the glans.
When the arousal starts to floor his system, you dip your tongue messily into the tip - precum staining your saliva with a pale white.
It moves you further along. You open your mouth up all the way, staring as you hollow your cheeks around the shaft of his cock with impressive ease. Fluttering your eyes shut, you hold onto his thigh and ease yourself as far down as you can go.
Your throat is wet and wanting for him. Over eager even with all the patience you try to demonstrate.
A thought passes by him as he watches you do it so expertly. The warm, slick cavern of your mouth accommodates him perfectly. No teeth, just throat and spit and drool. The corners of your lips flood with saliva as you take his cock in, breathing through your nose.
"Have you been practicing? To do this?"
You jolt, suddenly embarrassed. But you don't move to pull yourself off of his cock. Instead you stay for several moments, stretched throat - nose pressed into the thin hair above his cock and breathe him, humping his dress shoes like you're in heat. When you look up, he gets the confirmation he wants.
He's impossible endeared by you.
There's something strange in that it seems you relax after making it down. Heat stricken, swallowing his cock, chasing animalistic pleasure - truly content as your whole body begins breaking out in an aroused shudder. He can feel your chest against his leg, hardened nipples evidence of your arousal. Your wetness shines his shoe till it's reflective.
When you find you can no longer hold it and breathe, you pull back - a filthy slurping noise resulting. The tip sits on your tongue afterwards as you hum. It's lewd and filthy, not something he thought he'd be so interested in.
But it's you, after all.
Sunday admires you. How wrecked and lustful you look. How excited you are from something like this. An extension of your loyalty to him, down to bone.
He'd underestimated you, somehow. His mistake. When you pull off, before you go back down - he hooks his thumb into his cheek. His voice is thick with desire. The arousal is painful in his stomach as it ties in knots, cock twitching at the sight of your spit-soaked face.
"What do you want?"
You look at him confused before something seems to cross your mind. He encourages you. "Tell me,"
"Cum down my throat," You offer, debauched beyond his understanding. "Please."
Fuck. He takes in a breath.
"If it pleases you, dove," He says, then pets you affection as you go to deep throat him again. He decides to praise you. He can't think of anyone who would deny how sincerely you've earned it. "It feels good. You're thoughtful, hm? I'll return the favor ten fold after, like always."
You make a strangled noise as his cock hits the back of your throat again faster. You're sucking hard this time, quicker - your hand massaging his balls as you do. You hold his gaze the entire time even when you gasp for air, nose running. You're still perfect somehow, doe-eyed and innocent to him despite yourself.
"You're beautiful," He tells you and means it more than anything. Means it as you swallow and suck on his cock like it's everything you could ask for, means it as you hump against his shoes and stare up at him with crushing reverence.
Beautiful, perfect, the sweetest thing he's ever felt in his life. His most obedient possession. His from top to bottom, skin and bone and mind and body. Everything in Sundays possession - wholly his.
He pets your cheek as you move back and forth slowly, doing it properly. Bobbing your head back and forth, slow and smooth and deep with each motion until you feel comfortable enough to go rhythmically without gagging in excess.
You suck with such fervor he's inclined to believe you feel more pleasure than he does. Muffled whimpers and whines as you chase your own high. Sloppy at both ends.
Sunday lets himself slip. He moans - moans your name, soft and sweet and watches your whole body go alight at the reaction.
He can feel you cum before he can see it, the wet pulse of it and the sound of your high pitched whine.
It makes you cum, hearing Sunday express that. So he lets go, just for you, like always and watches tears fill the corner of your eyes like it's the happiest you could be.
Obedient thing you are, so tender - sweeter than all things in the world. Sweeter than a a dream. The thought makes his body lurch. His hips thrust this time and you let him with ease, shaking as Sunday lets himself fuck your throat a little harder.
"Gonna cum for you, sweet thing," He says, holding you close as he bottoms out again. He puts a hand on the back of your neck to hold you steady.
Sunday groans, shudders as an orgasm rips through him something irreparable. He cums hard, and you swallow all of it like it's easy despite how far he is down your throat.
He stays like that, catching his breath until he's ready to pull off. A long thick trail of saliva follows, drool dripping down against the hotel room floor as you leave your mouth open to show you swallowed it all.
Your expression morphs into fucked out pleasure, voice hoarse as you smile. "Thank you,"
You're his exception, Sunday thinks. If he's to deviate from structure, order, routine - it'd be only for you. He wipes the spit from your chin as he bends down to kiss your forehead.
"You made me feel good and did exceptionally well," He murmurs, soft and sweet. You melt under the touch, under the praise. "I love you,"
You smile happily. "Me too. I love you,"
"Now get up," He says, stroking your skin. "My turn, hm"
#writing tag#sunday x reader#sunday hsr x reader#hsr x reader#sunday smut#hsr smut#no one say a word to me i already know. i know#i cant even read this back im genuinely in distress
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I’m sorry but that fact that stiles rewrites his entire identity when his mother dies is something deeply tragic to me.
He was mischief a nickname that was given to him by his mother. Then he was stiles, a nickname that belonged to his father family.
He literally erases the part of him that was created by his mother and becomes his father image. I’m screaming.
I dont want to point any fingers but it literally stated that sheriff became an alcoholic after his wife died. Who couldn’t think of his wife without pain. And who had a son who was exactly like his wife
#thinking about tiny stiles who essentially lost both his parents and identity is genuinely causing me so much distress#stiles stilinski#everything about his character makes me want to scream#the stilinski family feels#sheriff stilinski#claudia stilinski#stilinski family feels#the Sheriff probably couldn’t say his name and reverted to calling him stiles
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really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.
in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:
its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,
oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.
he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.
#just had to write something about this because i loveeee seeing cool characters in distress. sorry but i need to see that boy PANICKING#im only on season 1 still so i dont know if there is a point where kirk openly seriously panics in the typical way#in high stress situations hes guarded but controlled#seeing him genuinely lose his nerve and start panicking would make me ouuughghgughg#like if he starts actually hyperventilating for kirk you know somethings so wronggg#but no yeah even if spock is injured or kirk is concerned about him he still shows that in the tense guarded high strung demeanor#same with spock really - his tone becomes tense and he uses jims name and its subtle but AAACKKK#i love the note of desperation being logical. that one episode is such a good exploration of spocks characer#i just think its interesting. to me it reads not only of kirks headstrong nature but also of his experience on taurus iv#not equipped for rambling#star trek tos#star trek#james kirk#jim kirk#captain kirk#kirk tos#hope this is right because im only just coming to the end of season 1 so#i love kirk so much though i cant even#hoping so so much ive interpreted him well#and that this makes sense. this is a ramble to the max.#he draws people into his orbit hes lively hes intelligent hes a burning whirl of passion and arhrthhhh
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Me explaining in terms of strictly how I read canon I think Nahida not severely punishing the Sages is just meant to convey that Nahida, even when wronged, is not a very vengeful or harsh person and makes the choice to be kind instead, but in my mind I have this idea of a Nahida interpretation which elaborates on that where her self punishing tendencies extend to her being someone who internally downplays her own experiences constantly, and as a result has a hard time feeling she’s allowed or justified in placing a lot of blame on the Sages for what they did to her So while she is following her own philosophies regarding teaching lessons/wisdom/etc in how to handle the Sages and genuinely doesn’t want to be really angry or punishing because of who she is as a person, her decision is also influenced by the fact she’s basically blocked herself out of grappling with how to handle people who hurt her by blaming herself for said hurt instead as a coping mechanism. And like this is all just me being insane about Nahida Trauma and not something explicitly implied in canon but also I really do think this isn’t a far stretch from her canon characterization especially when my vision isn’t to conclude that Nahida needs to be angry and vengeful but she should extend the kindness she shows others to herself and also every day I get tormented thinking about she was the mental equivalent of an average human child when the Sages found her and how they basically specifically discarded her for being a child and the idea of how Nahida would pick up on + internalize that and eventually need time to unlearn it
#nahida#genshin#fern.txt#fandomferns#fictional child abuse cw#anyways is anyone else here normal#see I think a sentiment most ppl get from nahdia’s character is correctly that she is kind despite being treated so poorly#but I want to explore her grappling with Why she does that bc she is genuinely kind#and I don’t think she’s struggling with moving on from things#but based off things she says word for word I feel it’s established nahida is very distressed by not being able to rationalize or#understand things that upset her#this is clear in both her SQs & her voicelines even down to her not liking seafood bc the unknown of the ocean#intimidates her. so I’d imagine she’s someone who responds to being mistreated by concluding#there must be a reason for it. and I actually have dialogue that backs me up here#bc when we first learn the sages have imprisoned nahida nahida herself basically says it’s fine bc her existence has#little meaning and she’s not good enough to be an archon. even as paimon is remarking how awful#the sages are for it and prompting nahida on if she’s upset w them#it’s not that Nahida isn’t insightful enough to acknowledge something as mistreatment#but rather she finds more comfort and a sense of control in having explanations for things#heck the reason she gives up her gnosis to Dottore is states in her char stories to be bc#she doesn’t want the lack of control that comes from a lack of information#nahida leaning on knowledge for a sense of control makes me esp sad when I think abt how#she does not have autonomy or agency for a majority of her life bc of her imprisonment n had fo rely on her#mind n ability to learn n gain knowledge#anyways to reiterate ks anyone else normal
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So let's talk Cuphead's kills
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE I NEED TO YAP!!! REREAD BE DAMNED I NEED TO SPEAK!!!!
Alrighty so spoilers for Inky Mystery, buckle up this is going to be a long one
Okay so I was going to my fav chapters and doing some rereads
And I'm going rabid about Chapter 177: A Broken Cup and it made me also realize some things with Chapter 334: Can't Sleep a Wink
Now to start off with 334 always bugged me, it felt so out of nowhere. I mean, Cup is sleeping around with girls, being Bendy's wingman and before that doing Fanny favors? Sure there was the gangs but it felt sudden that Cup just killed Wink not only that but that murder was much more emotionally involved then his other jobs. Why?
At first I could believe it's his overprotective streak, but now I think it might be something else, because I reread Chapter 177, where he's getting taunted by the Night Terror. And when I read him being taunted I took it all as lies but during my reread...
How much of Wink's death was really the B-Bros protection? How much of it was for Wilson? Was it really that? Or was it something else?
Much earlier in the story it's mentioned Cuphead laughed at hurting and killing people. But we know he didn't enjoy it, it haunts him. His guilt and regret is mentioned frequently. He even remembers all of his victims.
So why? Why is there so much emphasis in the Labrynth that Cuphead is not just a killer but a killer who likes his job? When he has this much guilt and regret? When he remembers all of their screams and deaths?
Because it's how he copes. He was raised as a killer, it's what he's good at and he also knows that, when it comes to the underworld, an easy solution.
The events surrounding this chapter was more then just Cuphead going through a playboy era with his friend Bendy. The house stresses him out, he can't go there now after the events that happened with Holly. So he went to the Candy Shop, except then Fanny hurt and betrayed him. He doesn't have anywhere to go so he's coping in the worst ways possible.
Violence and women. Now this isn't my post where I talk about how using sex is a coping mechanism is a horrible idea, so I'll move on from that. But let's look at that quote again "I've need something to hit for awhile".
He's doing it as a stress relief. He can't figure things out with Fanny, he can't help his friend with his guilt and fears of killing angels, he can't do anything about the deal with Marcus, the ink machine, the fact he's trapped as the "Devil's Dog".
But he can kill Winky. Winky has his goons all over the house. Winky killed Wilson which caused all his friends pain, Winky tried to attack his friends, Winky has answers to his questions, Winky is a problem. So he takes it out on Winky. He wasn't ever intending of letting Winky go easy, and he especially wasn't planning it after his suspicions were true. Why would he mention he works for the Devil otherwise?
Why did he leave Mugman home? Because Mugs would stop him. He didn't want to be stopped. It's why he doesn't tell anyone about it or Darius after. Sure Darius is a target, and I'm sure information was also a target. But that wasn't the only reason.
But he doesn't want to admit how easy it is for him to kill, the relief it gives. And how guilty he feels afterwards.
Because he doesn't even want to address it's his fault. He did what he had to. He doesn't want to believe what sort of person he is, he doesn't want to remember all the things he's done. He tries to forget. It's not his fault, he was protecting his brother. He was told to by the Devil. He did what he had to. Didn't want to acknowledge the times he had fun tormenting people, to acknowledge how good he is at being a monster [since deep down, that's how he sees himself], and he especially didn't want to acknowledge he killed when he didn't have to. That he took the "easy" way to do things.
He did what he had to. That's what he needs to believe.
#orb ponders#the inky mystery#This amongst like 3 other things has been bouncing in my head for days#I finally snapped this is me snapping guys#Anyway this isn't me bashing on Cuphead#But noting his bad coping skills he got from his upbringing#Later I'll go on a rant about how if something is genuinely distressing to Cup he ignores it#And how he's in a cycle of being viewed as a monster and then doing horrible things because hes seen as a monster#And how Holly especially ties into that#Cup: If I pretend it's not there then its not real#Everyone side eyeing him:
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Every time someone says anything bad about a driver I like I take it far too personally I’m afraid
#in genuine distress like they’re talking shit about me#will not stop me from digging at other drivers make no mistake#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#oscar piastri
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reaching for my colored pencils and stickers
#personal. drawing this genuinely relieved my body of distress#please be nice.#my art#tw self harm#tw sh#tw scars#tw body image#self harm recovery#only posting to tumblr. hope someone else can like. see some comfort in my art#i wanted to make it feel like the weight of every emotion is on my shoulder but i cover it up with colors and characters and art#i reach for sweet things that make me happy#but i also want to transmit the guilt of indulging in innocent things when you feel shame#art#artwork
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doing some soulsov fanart and posting a wip bc im impatient and love attention, you know how it goes
#im so out of practice with papercraft#genuinely distressing#anyway gg got me into papercraft in the first place so i guess we're getting back on that horse together#soulsov spoilers
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I love getting my silly little dose of validation whenever I explain something as small to my childhood as "yea they taught us to be prepared to be soldiers in spiritual warfare between angels and demons from a young age" and having my therapist or a friend respond like
#my therapist thought I was making a crusades joke and looked genuinely distressed when I said No No. I mean literal spiritual warfare.#I've never seen a person go thru the 5 stages of grief faster than that man in that moment#by spiritual warfare I mean the demons and angels fighting around us at all times or whatever the fuck#the thing that causes people to say the devil is attacking them#but yea no that fueled my martyr complex but not nearly as much as other things#cause this one was at least hypothetical and invisible#'She Said Yes' and whatnot was much more real and much scarier#my paranoia was awful in middle and high school#But yea me and a friend of mine were both raised in separate cults so we were explaining our cults to a friend and it was a great time#it's fuckin wild out here#ex christian#religious trauma
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Every time I think about Kawoshin my heart aches and I have to log off and reconnect with nature and empty my mind in order to stop myself from breaking into tears. Like I’m being so serious when I say I don’t think I’ve ever been so emotionally impacted by a fictional ship in my life 😭
#neon genesis evangelion#nge#neon genesis evangelion spoilers#nge spoilers#spoilers upcoming in the tags be careful I’m warninggg youuuu warning warning warning#so I’ve completely finished the anime and am watching the rebuilds now#and I’m at the part where Kaworu is abt to die and i fr had to shut off the show like idk if I’ll even be able to finish it 😭#like I’m genuinely distraught#yk what I don’t think I’ve been this impacted by a characters death in a WHILE#like usually I get sad but I power through#but this has me in such a state of devastation that I genuinely don’t know if I’ll even be able to finish it 😭#when the story is so good it has you in a state of genuine emotional distress and panic#I should reblog this when I actually get through the rebuilds bc I bet you I’ll put it off for months#they are happy and alive in my heart 😞#lorddd the piano scene gutted me. and them watching the stars#CRYING WEEPINH……GOOD LORDDDD THEY MAKE ME MISERABLE 🙁🙁#kawoshin#kaworu nagisa#shinji ikari
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Hey, I'm really happy that you liked my fic, but could you please think about what you're saying to me—a complete stranger—before you comment?
Here’s the thing: I write mostly E-rated fic. For obvious reasons, the norms for commenting are a little different than in the genfic world, and (to be clear) I deeply appreciate every comment I get.
But every now and then I get a comment that’s something like this:
“Hi! I loved this fic. Here’s a graphic description of the things I did to myself while reading it.”
Or this:
“Hi, I’m in this fic! It was so hot to read about [other half of ship] doing all of those things to me. Thank you for writing about me!”
And. Okay. Let me tread a little carefully.
To start: I am genuinely really happy you liked the fic, and that you're taking the time to tell me that. Most of my NSFW scenes are meant to be titillating. If you find them arousing, that’s great—that’s what I’m going for. If you’re picturing yourself as one half of the pairing, more power to you.
I also don’t know you. Like, at all. You scrolled through AO3 and saw my fic and read the tags and decided to click and read to the end, but I cannot control whether or not your comment shows up in my inbox.
So I hope you can understand why I’m a little uncomfortable when someone I don’t know shares graphic sexual details of their life in my inbox.
I hope you can understand that no, you’re not in this fic: I wrote this fic about a fictional character that may share your name and face, but who does not exist. And I hope you can understand why it’s uncomfortable and distressing to me when someone tells me that no, actually, this is for me. it’s about me.
I’m happy to hear that you liked the fic. I’m happy to hear that you found it hot. But please keep in mind that I am a stranger that you are approaching on the street, and my consent matters too.
#this morning was the...fourth? time I've gotten something like this#and I didn't want to say anything! because I know people mean it as a compliment#but it keeps happening#and its genuinely really distressing when someone insists that because their origin is this character#the fic must be about them#for them#whatever#i dont want to stop you from reading my fic and relating to it#but please dont share that with me#its very#unreality#triggering
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