#this is fun :] and good for getting the images out of my head and into the world

[leyiorr]

he’s my little ponyboy .ᐟ

mdni.

“this isn’t fair.”

you turn around, spinning on your heel to look back at your boyfriend. there’s a gorgeous pout on his face while he pulls at the cuffs that bind him to the chair, long legs taking up copious amounts of space as he manspreads lazily.

satoru’s face is as handsome as ever, even with his bright eyes covered by a dark blindfold that you’d brought from the store earlier that day.

“this is so unfair and mean,” he continues, moreso to himself than you.

you hum, turning back to the mirror again to run the straightener over the last section of your hair. you hear the jangle of the metal cuffs again, stifling a laugh when you hear him curse under his breath.

“yeah? how so?”

he scoffs loudly; you can practically hear the sarcastic eyeroll. you hike your opaque tights up your legs - though opaque is a stretch, they’re practically transparent - smiling to yourself as they hug your figure.

“you have me tied to a chair with a blindfold over my eyes!” he complains dramatically, clicking his tongue.

you snicker. of course, you do have good reason for tying him up. it’s one of your best friend’s birthday parties, and to you, college parties were everything. dolling yourself up was always so much fun, especially when you knew it’d drive satoru mad.

the only issue was, when you were dolled up, satoru was bricked up. last time you tried to leave for a party you were late. not fashionably late, a whole three hours late, because satoru was too consumed with drilling his dick into you to notice the time.

rightfully, you’d been mad, but it didn’t even last a day - one look at his face and you’d caved.

this time however, things would not be the same. not if you had anything to say about it. with him tied up, he couldn’t let his hands wander. with his eyes covered, he couldn’t ogle you. see? problem fixed!

he whines, bottom lip jutting out as he sulks. “i just wanna look... i won’t even touch!”

“you know that’s a lie. i just wanna get changed in peace, baby,” you explain, and he hears you rummage through the wardrobe, “i actually want to be present for this party.”

he mutters something unintelligible but settles down, clearly acknowledging the fact that it was his fault that you were late the last time.

“...and i’m butt naked right now, i don’t think you could keep your hands to yourself.”

you watch him as the words leave your lips, revelling in the sharp inhale they cause. he shifts uncomfortably, licking his lips. he pulls at the cuffs in a pathetic attempt to release himself, “really?”

“kidding!” you say sweetly, close to his ear so you have a full veiw of the shudder that runs up his spine in response.

“i hate you,” he mutters, biting his lip at the mere image of your body. there’s a growing tent in his pants.

you laugh, pulling on a black, strapless minidress before twirling in the mirror happily. it grazes your midthigh and shows off the skin of your collarbones. there's a single silver necklace clasped around your neck - a tiny diamond heart that was one of satoru’s many gifts.

“oh, i look good,” you say proudly, and you catch your boyfriend groan.

“let me see,” he half pleads from the other side of the room.

you shake your head even though he can’t see it as you sit on the bed, slipping on your heels.

“be patient, baby, i’m almost done.”

his knee bounces impatiently, suddenly frustrated by his lack of senses. satoru can feel his hands getting clammy - he hopes the blindfold miraculously disintegrates so he can at least look at you.

the minutes pass by and his blood turns to molten lava, dick straining against his sweats. it suddenly feels so much hotter in the room than it did before.

“a or b, handsome?” you call from somewhere, and satoru sighs breathily.

how could you ask him to pick something he couldn’t even see?

“b,” he says eventually.

“wrong, the answer was c!” you sing, putting a pair of stud diamonds into your ears and leaving him to sulk.

at least he thinks, before he’s feeling your lips against his. he leans forward, chasing the sensation before you away leaving him slightly disorientated.

“you’re doing so good, baby,” you coo - it goes straight to his dick, “i’m almosttt done.”

satoru groans, irritation and need filling his lungs like water. were you even almost done? what he would give to pry off these cuffs and blindfold.

“...i wanna see you, beautiful.”

he can feel his ears turning pink.

“...please.”

the laugh that you let out makes him want to die and so undeniabley horny that it fucks with his brain.

“not yet.”

his head follows the sound of you walking around the room, moving back to the mirror, where you apply your finishing touch; lipgloss.

the day you’d found the perfect lip combo you jumped for joy. now, you wear it everywhere.

your boyfriend hears you smack your lips together twice, before sensing you approach him. you strategically place yourself between his legs as you untie the blindfold.

and as you do, satoru thanks every god in existence that he gets to exist in the same timeline as you.

because when his vision is finally cleared, his breath catches in his throat.

your hair is expertly done, not a hair out of place as it grazes your midback; makeup emphasizing your natural beauty with mascara lengthening your pretty lashes. and don’t even get him started on the dress. he should start charging people for looking at you.

“pretty?” you ask, but you can already tell from his dazed, lovesick expression that the answer is yes.

he doesn’t answer for a moment, his eyes doing multiple appreciative runs over your figure.

“yeah,” he breathes finally, “real pretty, baby.”

satoru leans forward, nuzzling into your stomach. you smile, raking your manicured fingers through his messy white locs.

“i wanna fuck you,” he mumbles into the fabric of your dress, “bad.”

a laugh bubbles from your chest as you point at the clock, “we don’t have time, love, you know that.”

he groans, looking up at you with those cerulean irises that you were so disgustingly weak to, “just a quickie?”

“no.”

“c’mon baby, i’ll hold back!”

“you won’t.”

his head tilts to the side, veins in his neck showing as he strains against the restraints. the high of his cheekbones and ears are dusted pink; his lips are red from how much he’s being chewing on them.

“please, love.”

you don’t answer him, instead your fingers glide down the back of his neck, satisfied when the hairs raise in anticipation. you lean down to meet his mouth and he reciprocates with the sloppiest kiss he can muster from this position as your other hand cups his jaw.

the mucles in his biceps cry from the force he’s putting in while he tries to break the cuffs; the veins ripple under his skin. he’s desperate to have his hands anywhere on you.

he can taste the flavour of your lipgloss but it does nothing to deter him - instead encourages him to strain his neck further, back flush against the back of the chair as you begin to straddle him. he can feel your nails raking across his scalp; his dick twitches with interest.

you pull back far too quickly for his taste. it takes everything in your power not to drag him into bed like a bitch in head at the fucked out expression his giving you.

he watches your fingers pass over your lips, sighing to yourself as you bring them away to see smudged lipgloss.

satoru pathetically whines at the loss of contact when you get off him, throwing a heatless glare over your shoulder.

“you ruined my makeup, baby, i guess you’re gonna have to sit there and wait til i finish it again before we can go!”

oh, fuck you. literally and figuratively. he’s going to fuck you in that dress, hell, he would probably do it in front of an audience at the party. but you wouldn’t allow that... right?

[mintmatcha]

our toddler’s dad is monoma btw

Your little guy always runs up to him with the wettest little "Daaaadddddddyyyyyyyy-" and Monoma always picks him up and swings him around until they're both a little ball of giggles.

"Did you have fun with mommy and her boyfriend?" Monoma sticks out his tongue and your toddler mimics it, shaking his head violently.

"No!"

"That's right, Daddy's the best, huh?" Your kid is much too big to bounce around and yet Monoma does it anyway. It honestly pisses you off, how well they get along. You almost wish he was bad at this- it'd give you more of a reason to hate the guy. "You love me the most, right?"

"I- I-" His little tongue still isn't good at making sentences. It feels like it fights with his brain sometimes, like he doesn't have the thinking power to say what he really wants. "I love eb-berrybody-"

"But-?" Monoma leads.

"But daddy the most." His son completes in the exact same tone.

"That's my man!"

You step in. "Neito, that's not cool."

With a roll of his eyes, Monoma rubs his nose into your son's cheek, wriggling out more laughter.

"We love mommy too, right?" he urges. "We love mommy sooo much?

Again, your son is a mirror image of his dad.

"Sooo much!"

[hencheri]

18+ mdni.

pairing: mean stepbro!chenle x fem!reader

warnings: stepcest, heavy dubcon, very very mean chenle, coercion.

.

chenle is the annoying brother that you could imagine. he loves being mean, takes a lot of satisfaction in it. a lot of pleasure. 

he never misses an opportunity to make fun of you, whether it’s to pinpoint how much better he is at school than you are, or how much of a disappointment you must be to your parents, he always laughs at you. you could argue that he’s just trying to get under your skin — and it works especially well — but chenle does think he’s better than you.

he’s always bickering with you, and maybe you wouldn’t catch any of his attempts to create a fight if your mom and his dad wouldn’t take his side so often. you get so frustrated by it, which you get scolded for even more. 

chenle can be bearable sometimes — only when he wants to, though. he helps you with your assignments when you ask nicely, even though you get called an idiot a bunch of times. he plays video games with you, and he’s pretty enjoyful in those moments, but it’s always ruined by chenle being mean to you one too many times. you end up yelling at him as he laughs at your petty attitude, and you either throw your controller at him or call him an asshole before storming away in your room.

but chenle isn’t all that perfect like your parents think he is. far from it, even.

they don’t know how he really sees his stepsister. they don’t know what type of bonding moments he really shares with you. no, because if they did, they would absolutely disown him, and you as well, but the thought of your parents discovering chenle isn’t the well-behaved and respectful boy he pretends to be makes you really, really happy. 

if they knew what chenle’s intentions really are when bugging you, like stealing your phone and raising it out of your reach above your head, maybe they wouldn’t call him a good boy anymore. maybe they wouldn’t congratulate him for his good grades or for becoming the captain of his college basketball team. 

chenle knows this dirty secret could ruin the clean image he puts out, but sometimes his desires are stronger than him. and so are yours, too. 

“give it to me!” you groan as you desperately pull on chenle’s arm that is perched up in the air with your phone in his hand. “you’re so annoying, i swear!”

his arm doesn’t budge though, and you start to grow tired, but he still has his insufferable triumphic smile drawn on his face. 

“then take it,” he mocks, holding his arm high in the air, his other hand pushing on your shoulder. 

“that’s what- argh!” you stomp your foot on the floor in frustration, backing away from your brother. “i need it, chenle. stop being an ass.”

“okay, you really want it?” he asks as he lowers the phone, pulling it away when he sees your attempt of taking it from his hand immediately when it’s in your reach. “hey. answer my question.”

you roll your eyes, sighing, “yes, of course, chenle!”

you cross your arms over your chest as you look at him, licking his lips and shifting your phone from one hand to another, knowing pertinently he’s being an asshole right now. 

“i have an offer, then,” he smirks. 

you frown because why would you bargain with him to have your phone back? it’s yours! but knowing chenle, he always wants to gain something from any situation. 

“that’s ridiculous,” you scoff, but he’s absolutely serious — despite the smile on his lips. 

“do you want your phone back?” he asks more sternly to which you grumble a ‘yes’. “i’ll let you have it if you accept to be a little nicer to me.”

“what?” you laugh, “nicer to you? as if you deserve it. eat shit.” you head for the door of your bedroom, and chenle pulls you right back to him, not wanting you to go away from him. 

“oh, come on,” he whispers beside your ear, his arm going around your waist, “quit being a bitch and play with me,” he proposes and you feel yourself immediately melting down. how can he be so tempting?

you try to resist anyway, removing his grip from around your body. “chenle,” you scold, “that’s not the moment.”

but he brings you against him once again, putting his face beside yours, his lips touching the shell of your ear. “it’s fine, your mom’s out at work and my dad’s dead asleep upstairs,” he insists, but it’s yet not enough to make you give up. “i’ll fucking shatter your phone against the wall if you keep being a petty whore,” he grits through his teeth and you know that his threat is very real. 

you’re no stranger to chenle’s ruthless way of fucking — pitiless he is, but evil he is even more, and you get to experience it everytime he catches you between his claws. sharp, mean claws that leave your skin bruised. marks that you have to explain to your friends, inventing an imaginary boyfriend who’s filthy in the bedroom. 

“you’re only good for taking cock.” his breath hits the side of your face, his voice harsh like the hands gripping your hips. “you don’t care if it’s your brother’s, as long as it’s in your stupid fucking cunt, right?” he chuckles, pounding you from behind, having the familiar sight of your head buried into your pillows in front of him. 

you only muster out a ‘shut up’ out of your mouth, and as unconvincing as you sound with teary eyes, you truly want him to stop talking so much. 

chenle only looks more pleased. no matter the amount of tears you cry, he knows you like it, and this little fact is enough to make him have the upper hand on you. he always does.

he tugs on your hair, lifting your head from the pillows. “you can tell me to shut up how many times you want, sweetheart, you’ll still cum around my cock like the fucking slut you are,” he states, shoving your face back into the cushions, your tears leaving wet patches on the fabric. 

you cry out when he hits the sensitive spot inside of you, his grip on your hair remaining and making your scalp burn badly. 

“stop whining so loudly, you don’t want my dad to find us like this, do you?” chenle slaps your ass with his palm as a warning and you shake your head the best you can. “good because i’ll have to shut you up myself, and i know how much you hate when i do that, hm?”

there are plenty of things you hate about chenle, but this is surely the one you hate the most, and he knows it because you didn’t talk to him for days after that. and so knowing better than to piss him off, you keep your lips sealed shut.

[electricea]

on being 30.

my birthday is this weekend and i don't really know how much free time i'll have to spend on here, so i did want to poke on here and at least say something - thank you for another year together, whether we've just met or have known each other for ages, i genuinely appreciate being able to spend another year on this website with so many great folks, sincerely - i appreciate every dm, every image, it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

i've sort of touched on before on how 2024 has been a sort of a slump for a year for me - i've always sort of battled with self doubt and self loathing and just for some reason this year, it seems to just keep coming back and i hate that i actually doubt and question myself - if there's still a place for me here and when i get in my own head like this i really isolate myself and try to just deal with it in private because i don't like being a downer so if you have noticed me not exactly being the most responsive or talkative lately, that’s why - i’m not angry with anyone, i’m not trying to be cold with anyone - going back into my shell is just what I do and how I cope, it always has been, i don't even like writing this. and to make this clear, this is a me problem - not an anyone else problem, period - this isn't a vague or to point fingers, the issue is with me.

i think what sort of prompted this was seeing a lot of people open up about their own feelings and insecurities and I get the sense that 2024 hasn’t exactly been a great year for a lot of people either and my mindset has always been so long as it's not being passive aggressive or directing the blame at others, i honestly think it's good to have an outlet to just say how you're feeling once in a while - how else will people know what you're struggling with? of course what they choose to divulge is up to them and no one has to divulge if they don't want to, we're all just here for rp and for fun but i think sort of seeing others also struggling with having a crappy year and seeming to be in similar slumps was what really prompted me to write this. i hope it's just down to 2024 being a cursed year or something, lol.

like i said, i do genuinely appreciate all of you - i think more than anything else, more than rp or writing, the people are what keeps me coming back to tumblr - getting to write with and meet so many different writers from across the world (and possibly even talk with some of them and hang out with them??) is honestly a privilege and honour and even if i may not respond right away, please just know i appreciate every interaction, every message, every person. thank you all for being a part of my tumblr experience for another year and for already getting this birthday off to a lovely start. take care of yourselves.

[k-slla]

Split Second

Pairing - Soldier Boy/Ben x Fem!Reader

Square filled for @jacklesversebingo - In The Dark by Billy Squire

First entry for @alphabetquest - Angst

A/N : This can be read as a part of Fate, or Something Like It (two-part story, you can find both here) or as a stand-alone.

Words: 4.2k | My Masterlist

Warnings: very angsty, mentions of alcohol and drugs, death, unhealthy coping mechanisms for grief, cursing

Italics- Ben's memories

All mistakes are mine! All feedback is appreciated!

Enjoy!

The dimly lit bar was filled with smoke and music; one side of it dedicated to a small dance floor with a jukebox in the corner, the other half to a karaoke stage. People were laughing, drinking, having fun. Living their lives. The room was packed for tonight's happy hour and it definitely made Ben regret his decision to come here tonight, but he needed a drink and a damn strong one at that to deal with what was going on in his head. But the bar, where someone's mere attempt at singing karaoke made him want to rather listen to the nails dragging on a chalkboard, was the last place he actually wanted to be at. It wouldn't have even helped if he went to another one - each next bar would've been just the same.

With his eyes glued to the drink in front of him, Ben barely paid attention to what was going on around in the bar. Only the bartender managed to get a slight nod, when he came around to refill his glass again. He was too caught in his own thoughts to see all the dolled up women around him, boldly snaking up at his arms, not making a real effort to hide their intentions.

Now, usually, Ben would've loved all the attention he could get. Another boost to his already overinflated ego, he wouldn't have said no to that. Most definitely he wouldn't have thought twice before grabbing a few girls with him to continue the fun in a hotel room, but for now his only desired companion was a glass of well-aged whiskey, paired with a smoke, of course.

He didn't know what had changed in those past two years he had spent together with you. Even if he hated to admit it to himself, he knew you had left your mark on him. But still he had fallen back to his old habits, now for different purposes, but he's back to the ‘big three', something that once mattered to him the most - alcohol, drugs and women.

There had been countless nights before he met you, when he was left alone in the dark after ‘the fun’ had left, accompanied only by his mind, that did nothing but dragged him deeper and deeper into the nightmarish echoes of his past with each night. And every day he had to shove those feelings and memories down to save his twisted public image. No matter how bad he was made to seem, it was still better than reality. He couldn’t let himself be seen as damaged or hurt.

There was no escape for him from those nightmares. Not one he had found on his own.

But fate, or something like it (his drug-induced delusions, more likely), brought you into his life. And even though the start of your relationship was heavily influenced by Ben's anger and wish to have his revenge, you still stayed with him. And it was...good. Even if only for a little while.

Ben had been lying awake in bed for a few hours already, enjoying the quiet and watching the sunrise light up the room minute by minute, casting the light over your face, only highlighting your beautiful features that still didn't fail to amaze him. A few moments later he felt you softly stirring in your sleep next to him.Your quiet sleepy curse to light being so bright brought a smile to his face. If someone would've told him a few decades ago, that someday he'll be in a somewhat stable relationship, that he'd be ‘exclusive’ with someone as you had so nicely put it, he would've knocked them out before they would've been able to say a word.

Feeling you waking up, he almost instinctively tightened his embrace around you.

While it was easier for him to sleep now, especially with you in his arms, he was still not quite in the same place he was before Russia. Hopefully he never would be, and that would be for the best, considering some of his traits from that time, but with your help he was getting better.

“What're you thinking about?”

Hearing your sleepy voice in the mornings had become one of his favorite things, but seeing you first thing in the morning, with your hair all tousled from the night before, well, that still topped everything for him. There was just nothing or no one more beautiful than you.

Ben pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Oh, nothing, darlin’.” His voice was low and still a little husky from sleep. He knew he couldn't brush it off so easily. You sat up from his arms, pulling the blanket around your shoulders to keep yourself warm in the chilly room as you turned around to give him a little look of disbelief.

“Really?” Your fingers brushed gently over his scruffy cheek, turning his face to meet yours. “You don't have to try to spare me from your thoughts, Ben, you know? Talk to me. Something’s bothering you, isn't it?” You asked him, a soft smile tugging on your lips.

Ben never thought he'd ever deserve anything like it. Even being together with you, he still couldn't help but think that this wasn't meant for him. He wasn't a good person. Never has been. He'd done god-awful things in the past. And you…you were a good-hearted, warm person, who helped him even after he tried to push you away. On more than one occasion.

Ben closed his eyes, slightly leaning into your palm. He couldn't remember the last time before you when he was touched with such care and love. Even when he was together with Countess, it felt like their relationship was more for the tabloids than for themselves. With you it felt different. He felt different.

He loved the gentle touches you gave him. He wanted and needed them all the same. These were the only things that managed to calm him down.

Letting out a heavy sigh, his green eyes met with yours again, and he talked. He talked about everything that was on his mind, that was weighing down his heart, even if it was just a little thing, a little snippet of his past clawing inside his mind because for once in his life he wasn't being judged. With you, he let himself be vulnerable.

He exhaled sharply, finishing another glass of whiskey. At this point it was barely blood that was pumping through his veins. Alcohol had barely any effect on him. Drugs became a mere quick fix to keep his mind off you. Women were just a distraction that he began to regret as soon as they had left. He had started to refuse to fall asleep, now that you weren't there to take his nightmares away.

Those had changed, too.

What used to be the replaying memories of his time in Russia or about his childhood or negligent father, had now become only one thing- you.

Even the happy memories of the two of you awoke him in cold sweat. And perhaps those hurt even more, with their rarity. There was just no way out, no matter where he looked. He just had to live on with what he'd done.

Well…not quite - there was one thing that could be done, and that idea began to slowly consume him, starting to become more and more enticing with each day. He wouldn't have to be afraid of hurting more innocent people and Vought would probably gladly get him off the streets, especially if he'd do it voluntarily. He should've done it right after the first blow up in Midtown. Should’ve taken accountability for his actions and not run like a coward, although back then he had other priorities in sight.

That's what he was. A damn coward. If he'd been half the man he always made himself seem, he would've walked away from you. Because that would've been the right thing to do. But no…he was so afraid to be left alone with his thoughts and nightmares, that after finding you, he needed you close. And getting back into that box wasn't going to bring you back. He knew that. It wasn't going to take away all the hurt he caused you. It would've been just an escape for him and this was something he did not deserve. Not after what he put you through.

Ben had always thought there was no way for him to experience pain worse than he already had gone through in Russia, but life always finds a way, doesn't it?

What had started as light bickering between you and him, quickly grew into something bigger and bigger…and bigger. At first, you fought and made up in the best way you both could imagine. But in the end even good sex couldn't help pushing your disagreements aside and you still ended up arguing about everything. It had become to both of you hurting each other with your insecurities. For you it felt like Ben was pulling away from you. And apparently you had started to smother him. His words, not yours.

You were good with choosing your words and Ben didn't hold back either. Deep inside, he had his suspicions from the beginning, about the probability of you and him really working out. To be honest - they were slim to none. You were both just too headstrong for each other. So when things started to get sour, he just knew he was right all along, and yet he still couldn't just let you go.

“Where is this coming from? I thought we both wanted this..” You moved to sit on the coffee table in front of the couch where Ben was seated, frowning at him. “What changed, Ben?”

You had brought up the idea of starting a family together again. You and Ben had had long talks about kids beforehand, too, but now you felt like it would've been perfect timing. Because you knew very well that your biological clock kept ticking away. You wouldn't have endless chances for a family of your own. Something that you never really had before. And you wanted one with him. Despite the arguing, you wanted to push through them to come out stronger and create something beautiful together with him.

Ben saw how you tried to control yourself, not to burst emotionally. He barely met your teary look as you reached for his hands, but before you managed to catch him, he stood up from the couch. He knew. Of course he knew how him pulling away from you hurt more than anything he could say.

Staring at you from the other side of the room he still said nothing to you. It hurt to see that the wall, you had already tore down once before, was back up again, stronger than ever. You bit down on your lip before sighing heavily. “So we're not going to even talk about this? You're going to give me the silent treatment? What's next? You'll walk out on me again?”

Ben watched you warily as you stood up and started to walk towards him. “What are you afraid of? Please, Ben… just talk to me…” You were tired from all of this and had started to give up hope. Getting him to talk in this state was like speaking to a wall. Because that's what he was, standing on the kitchen door, not even having balls enough to look you into your eyes.

You had an idea why Ben was acting the way he did, but you needed to hear that from him, too. If only he'd talk. If only he'd let you know what he was thinking in those moments.

But Ben was sure you wouldn't have been so happy to hear his thoughts, especially, when every last one of the rational ones had told him to walk away from you. Maybe he should've trusted his gut. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

Many times Ben did walk away, leaving you alone for the night. It was usually only for one night at a time, but the time away from him you spent sleeplessly laying in bed, wondering when or if it's ever going to stop. Sometimes it was you who couldn't stay the night home. While you had no idea where exactly Ben went when he left, you really had only one person to go to. And Ben hated him. Of course he never told you that he knew where you went, but he followed you. Every single time. Even after arguing, he just had to make sure you were still safe. And if going to Harvey's kept you safe, well, he had no other option but to accept it.

“Last drink. We're closing in 10.”

With a barely noticeable flinch, Ben was brought out of the memories. He looked around and saw that the bar was now almost completely empty.

Where the fuck am I supposed go now? Ben thought to himself as he stepped into the night and left the bar behind him. Letting out a disgruntled sigh he reached for his pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. He hated that feeling that took over him. He hated that he still wasn't able to let go. He hated being seen as vulnerable and weak and now even just a thought of you managed to make him feel just like that. He hated that you still had such power over him. It has been almost a year since the incident.

Officially - the accident was marked down as a gas explosion. Unofficially - Ben had lost his shit. Again. Big time.

He didn't even really care how they explained what was left of the apartment or the rest of the building. What mattered to him was that he lost you and he had no one else to blame but himself.

You were gone. Just like that.

“Ben, you are nothing like your father. You will not turn into him.”

Ben did talk to you at some point, but as always, it turned into an argument. But finally he did confirm your thoughts about why he was so afraid to start a family with you.

“How do you know that? I'm all kinds of fucked up, Y/N. More than him for sure. I shouldn't have kids.”

His voice was quiet, but it hurt you to your core. You had talked about this for so many times and you were even a little surprised by how excited Ben always seemed about kids and having a family, then something changed. Suddenly he didn't want that anymore.

But it wasn’t just the fear of being a bad father that held him back. It had come to the point where Ben was certain he was holding you back. You could’ve been with someone so much better than him. With someone who you could talk with without turning the conversation into another fight.

In all those moments that you and Ben argued, he was always thinking the same things. How did you put up with him? Why hadn't you left yet? But he never dared to ask them out loud, afraid that you'd come to your senses and would actually leave him.

This was one of these nights again when no matter how hard he tried, Ben couldn't get you off his mind. The more time he spent thinking of you, the more he felt that familiar feeling of rage raising its head. And the memories of your last moments together only fueled it.

It was early in the morning when Ben had just gotten home from wherever he went when you two fought. He was expecting you to be asleep, so he could crash on the couch for a few hours, but you were sitting there and he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at the fact that you clearly hadn't let go of that last argument yet. Ben stood at the door for a moment, just looking at you, contemplating whether or not he should just turn around again, to save himself from another inevitable fight. Cursing in his head, Ben rolled his eyes and walked straight to the fridge in the kitchen. You watched him in silence as he made himself food, after a minute you decided to speak up.

“Ben, I'm done.”

He stopped halfway biting the sandwich when he heard your voice. “What'd you say?”

“I'm done,” you repeated. “I didn't want to just disappear on you, but I'm leaving. We…it's going nowhere…I don't want to keep doing this..” you waved between both of you.

Ben continued to eat his sandwich. This was all something that you've said before - ‘I’m done. I can't do this. I'm leaving.’ But you never could go through with it. Each of those times he practically begged you to stay because he knew what you wanted to hear. That he still wants you. He had a horrible way of showing it, but he truly did want you.

This time he decided to finish his sandwich first, but the pit in his stomach sank deeper by the second as the realization started to kick in. You were really serious this time.

“Ain't like I haven't heard that before.” Ben scoffed, putting his plate back to the table probably a little harder than he should’ve, trying to deflect his feelings. He refused to show you the disappointment and hurt that he really felt hearing your words. You were about to leave him, like everyone else in his life had done before. He can't say he was surprised. He did have half the blame for that. It was more like he was counting days for that to happen. But even if he was expecting it to happen, it didn't mean he was happy with it.

“That's all you have to say?” You kept your eyes fixed on him as you spoke, watching as he slowly started to approach you.

He walked towards you, stopping by the coffee table and looked down on you sitting on the sofa. “What do you want me to say? Do I have to start begging you to stay? To not leave me like all others have?” It sounded almost like he hissed at you. “We've been through that all before. You know that you don't want to go. Not really.”

“You know what? No. I don't want to go, but we're going nowhere like this. I was clear with you about one thing that I've always dreamed of. And I thought you wanted the same. You told me you did.”

“Well…I guess I changed my mind.”

You clenched your jaw hearing his words. This just made you realize that all these fights have been for nothing. All those countless sleepless hours you spent alone were for nothing. You were hoping for Ben to change his mind while he was waiting for you to drop that topic and move on. Neither of you were happy like this, and neither was ready to give in. It wouldn't have been fair to either of you to ‘give in’. Not on such matters.

“Well…I guess I did too, then..” You said quietly and got up from the couch.

For some reason hearing that angered Ben even more, despite knowing that would've been for the best. He was hurting you. You were hurting him. It shouldn’t have been so hard for both of you to walk away from each other.

Ben tried to hide the pain he felt in his heart. He knew he couldn't be alone again. He actually didn't want to be, but this time it started to seem like he would not be able to make you stay. He still had to try.

“Wait…don't…please, just..stay...” He grabbed your hand to stop you from leaving. His grip was almost bruising.

“I can't do this anymore, Ben. The fights and…a-and arguments have become the new normal to us. It shouldn't be that way. You know that.”

“So you're giving up on us? On me? You promised you wouldn't do that to me, love.” He could feel the anger rising in his chest.

You used to love when Ben used different little pet names for you. Now hearing him call you ‘love’ just brought back memories that you wished you could've locked away.

“Don't call me that, Ben. You promised me that we’d start a family together. I am not giving up on us. I'm trying to give both of us a chance to be happy. And it's clear that it's not happening when…when we're together. We can't have these same conversations and fights over and over again when it’s clear that neither of us would change our mind. I am just tired of this.”

Half your words reached Ben like through a wall. He knew this was it. You were going to leave him. It felt like he was being betrayed by the woman he loved all over again. Despite trying to keep a leveled head, he could feel the anger and silent rage growing; spreading in his chest with burning heat. He knew this was heading to a point of no return. He could see from your eyes that you had quickly realized it, too as you started to pull away yourself from his grip.

“Ben, calm down. Please…take-take a deep breath. I'm sorry…don't do this …”

You were apologizing. You were apologizing for something that wasn't your fault, in hopes to reverse the action. Deep down both of you knew there was nothing he could do. This wasn't something he could turn off. He was too far gone for that. His breathing got heavier by the second, your words only feeding the anger. And it all was happening so fast for him to react in any way. He couldn't control himself any longer.

“Ben, just let me go! Don’t…Please let me go…Ben, please—”

You were panicking, for a good reason, but it was too late.

He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut to get rid of the images of that morning. He couldn’t see the pain and fear in your eyes that he had caused not a second longer. Ben had spent a long, long time thinking of why or how he even had found you. He didn’t know exactly how he had ended up at your office that night two years ago. And he most definitely wouldn’t have expected after confronting you that Butcher’s ‘friend’, who he had called to babysit Ben, was you. You were just supposed to stay with him for a week. You ending up in his bed and in his heart was not what was supposed to happen.

Maybe it really was fate that put you on his path. To guide him to do something different. To be better.

Even the thought of that almost made Ben laugh. All fate had to do with this was that perhaps it was just his destiny to hurt and be hurted.

He took a long last drag of the cigarette and opened his eyes again while slowly exhaling the smoke, watching it linger in the air around him, before he flicked the cigarette butt onto the ground, putting it out with his shoe. He should’ve known better than to fall in love. Nothing good ever comes out of it.

Ben let out a heavy sigh. It was clear that he wasn't simply getting you out of his head tonight. Now his remaining options were either this or that. Why not both, Ben thought as he pulled out his phone, looking through his contacts. He had collected quite a list of names to choose from during the last few months. Lately he started to need more and more distractions, still not knowing how to deal with losing you.

Some of those girls always had something more to offer him than just themselves. And despite it being late at night (or rather early morning), he knew that not one of the girls would say ‘no’ to him. Each girl was hooked on him, just as he was on you.

He dialed the number of Raven. Probably not a real name, but in this modern world he had come back to, he couldn't be sure. Not that he really cared about her name.

“Hello, darlin’..” he drawled into the phone when he heard her soft voice greeting him back. “I know you were sleeping, but I was wondering…you got room for one more in that bed of yours?”

A slow smirk came onto his lips when he could sense her perking up from sleep.

“Sure, Ben…I'll…I'll be waiting for you…” she answered almost coyly, already knowing what to wait for when he would call at this time of the night.

“I'll be there soon then, sweetheart…”

Ben wasn't going to waste any more time. The sooner he got to her place, the sooner he'd get you out of his head. For the night. He knew one day you'd probably be a mere memory for him, but until that day, he needed to accept all the help to try and forget you.

Taglist - (Always open - If you want to be added, let me know in the comments!) -

@jackles010378 @nescavaneck @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @winchesterwild78 @nightxcreature @anundyingfidelity @suckitands33 @waynes-multiverse

[rhiannonsknife]

THE EMOJI ANON LIST IS GROWING. i am so very proud, both of the good users of tumblr who love your blog as much as i do and of you 🤞🤞 it's been a while but im back with more thoughts, baby

first of all, thank you for indulging in my rhiannon clothes stealer realness. it is real to me, ok?

i am lowkey fixated on what you said about making her get off while she inhales your scent from your underwear... i believe i saw this in a lottie fic i read on here so credit where credit is due but rhiannon sneaking into your room before you're together to steal your underwear and get off? yes please

you're about to head to bed when you notice a rustling from your closet, something that doesn't sound at all like the normal noises of your house. so you go to investigate and who do you see but rhiannon lewis, one hand holding a pair of your panties up to her nose, the other underneath the waistband of her pants.

you probably should be more scared than you are, but you can't deny that you're absolutely dripping for her, and you decide to have some fun. so you watch intently as you make her touch herself, forcing her to admit all the dirty fantasies she thinks about when she sneaks in and gets off with your panties

this thought is making me go insane 😇 pervy!rhiannon save me pervy!rhiannon -🪐

i’ve actually mentioned this very briefly in my very first rhiannon post!! so back to the roots we go 🤗🤗 (also, once again, shoutout to @lottiesgrl for the screenshot) obviously: nsfw content so mdni!!

rhiannon who’s so insanely obsessed with you that she needs to have you in literally every possible way! maybe you haven’t had sex yet (though she wants to. desperately), or perhaps you aren’t even in a relationship yet. but, either way, rhiannon wants you. she wants you so bad it’s driving her madder than she already is…

touching herself to the thought of you does get her off, it’s her go-to fantasy, but -after a while- it’s simply not enough anymore. picturing you with her hands shoved down her panties still turns her on beyond words, but something is missing. she can conjure up dirty images of you all she wants, but it’s no use if she doesn’t know the taste of your arousal, the sounds you’d make when she puts her mouth on you, the scent…

so, with no other options left, she sneaks in the next time she’s made sure you’ve left your place. rhiannon has watched you enough times to know where you keep your spare key so technically it’s not breaking and entering. just entering. and that’s alright, right? it’s tolerable. besides, it’s not like she’s planning on taking anything! she will only do some…exploring. you won’t know that she’s been there at all, rhiannon tells herself, as she quickly unlocks the door to your apartment building and slips inside before anyone can catch her.

once inside, she takes her sweet time exploring your place, not expecting you to be back anytime soon.

she avoids your bedroom, looking at everything else first, and getting embarrassingly wet with her plan in mind and the scent of your perfumes and shampoos filling her nostrils. she feels like a pervert for getting off to these seemingly harmless little things. maybe she is. it’s not like rhiannon cares anymore, being this close to where she’s been wanting to be for the longest time: your bedroom. ideally, with you in it as well. but she’ll settle for whatever she can get, and if that’s being in there all by herself, going through your underwear drawer…then who is rhiannon to complain?

and, because she’s got time, she doesn’t stop there. not when she’s found a used pair, right atop a pile of shed clothes. when she can smell you on the fabric, still wet to the touch. you must’ve changed before leaving the house, she concludes, as she strides through the room until she reaches the bed. rhiannon is already pressing the fabric to her face, inhaling your scent and sighing into the underwear eagerly as she walks.

she’s spread out on your bed before she can reconsider it. sure, she could leave the place, taking the underwear with her. it’s what she should be doing. but your scent has thrown all rational thoughts right out the window, replaced only by the need to get off as soon as possible (preferably in your space. in your bed.)

maybe, rhiannon thinks as she swings her legs over the edge and leans back against your pillows, you’ve touched yourself in this exact place. against these exact same pillows, with your legs spread out on the mattress, your arousal dripping onto the sheets.

just like that, she can’t hold herself back any longer. instantly, without wasting even more time, she puts her hand beneath her skirt. a purposeful outfit choice, with easy access. wandering your place, it turns out, had been the perfect foreplay. rhiannon is soaked, her underwear clinging to her throbbing center. she exhales a shuddered breath -doesn’t trust herself enough to be loud, afraid one of your neighbors could hear- as she presses two fingers against her clit. her other hand still holds your underwear, which she quickly presses against her nose as she breathes in.

the rest of the world fades out altogether when she pushes her fingers inside herself for the first time that day.

when you enter through the front door, you don’t immediately notice that something is off. sure, you’d been certain that you had turned off the lights before leaving, but that alone doesn’t raise any suspicions yet. it’s when you approach the door to your room that you notice the movement.

your first instinct is to flinch. there’s clearly someone in your apartment. the stranger's presence makes you freeze in your tracks. but then, as you stumble backward as slowly as possible, you hear it. the quiet sounds, the stifled sighs, the familiar voice. with your brows furrowed, you walk back towards it all over again.

what you see, through the small gap, confirms your suspicions: there, rhiannon is, kneeling on your bed. she’s got one hand between her thighs, bouncing her weight on her own fingers, whilst the other is clamped over her mouth, both to stifle her noises and to press the fabric of what is unmistakably your underwear against her nose.

you should be scared, you should confront her and ask what she’s doing here and how she got inside. but you’re, honest to god, dripping at the sight in front of you and too busy watching the way she’s riding her hand like her life depends on it. despite her efforts to be ‘quiet’, the bed is creaking under the constant shift of her body and she’s drawing obscene squelching sounds from between her spread thighs.

so, instead of confronting her, you decide to have some fun with her first. she’s the one who owes you a lot of answers, and you’re confident you’ll receive plenty of them when you finally push the door open and make your presence known.

rhiannon’s eyes widen comically when she sees you standing in the doorway. still, she seems too turned on to think; her hand stills and she stops rocking against her fingers, but she doesn’t look like she’s able to withdraw it from underneath her skirt all the way. instead, she sits on it, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“i can- i can explain-” she stammers immediately, dropping the panties down from her tight grip.

“can you?” you ask, approaching the bed slowly. rhiannon’s legs tremble and you’re not sure whether it’s arousal or the fact that she’s been caught. either way, you like it,

“i-” she doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence. you furrow your brows at her as you sit down by her side. the mattress bounces a little under the added weight, forcing rhiannon’s hand to move. she bites her lip and your eyes dart between her legs -more or less voluntarily. she’s dripping to the wrists. this whole scenario must turn her on a lot more than rhiannon would ever verbally admit.

“who said you could stop?”

rhiannon whimpers.

“come on” you encourage, getting a bit more comfortable. you’d be lying if you said the sight in front of you wasn’t turning you on, too. after holding the eye contact for another moment, as if to make sure you’re being serious, rhiannon picks up where she’s left off: she starts rolling her hips against her two fingers that are knuckle deep inside of her.

“how long have you been here?” you ask conversationally.

“a while” rhiannon sighs, head falling back.

“have you done this before? sneaked in and got off with my underwear?”

“no!” she exclaims, though it comes out more like a whine. “no”

“no…?” you can’t help but pout, mockingly, as you pick up the panties from where she’s dropped them, unfolding them and holding them out to her. “you forgot these”

rhiannon glares at you, bewildered but never without moving her hips simultaneously.

“what?” you ask, holding it out to her again. “it’s not like i’m gonna go ahead and sit on your face to give you a taste after you’ve broken in. so if you want a taste…”

she doesn’t have to be told twice. when rhiannon reaches for them and eagerly holds them to her face again, you’re not so sure about whether or not you can actually deprive yourself of letting her eat you out later. you’ll have to reconsider. for now, watching her is enough. you don’t turn your eyes away once as rhiannon bounces on her fingers, nose pressed into your underwear. she’s no longer bothering to be quiet either, her moans echoing through the room with every erratic roll of her hips.

who would’ve thought your sweet rhiannon was such a pervert…? breaking in just for a sniff of you…? she’s looking breathtakingly beautiful, now that she’s rutting against her hand right before you. you’ll have to do something about that, you decide, once she’s made herself cum like this.

for now, you’ll make the most of this opportunity and enjoy the opportunity to watch rhiannon touching herself for you…

[un-pearable]

in which zane did not know before he died

remembered this very old au concept i’ve had since i was tiny watching ninjago for the first time… it completely unravels everything i enjoy about zane in the early seasons and i refuse to think of the necessary rewrites atm but i needed to make at least this one scene exist. can an au be naught but a single panel that makes me Sad?

[mrehkka]

This is a Zim who's universe-hopped (perhaps a zim that made it out of the ZimVoid?) and ends up finding an earth that is zim-less so he sticks around. Dib isn't around anymore in his home universe so it caught him by surprise

Dib is still on his zim-is-sus kick... but he's noticing some differences. Which honestly just makes him more suspicious of him lmao

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[mokutone]

I kind of adore how in ur tags you're talking about his foot position being off and everyone (including me) in the tags is too busy being memorized by tenzō's arm and armpit hair to notice or comment.

ITS REALLY FUNNY!!! AND HONESTLY KINDA HEARTWARMING!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! LMFAOOOO also u + everyone else is right body hair is sick as HELL!!!! its easy to forget to add onto drawings too

[cakeyouareoh]

finished season 2 of fringe and feeling mentally unwell about it….

[cherry-shipping]

one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST

[gaydryad]

had the desire to draw Fancy Outfits and it got out of hand, and so I now present : the full pantheon of my novel’s world, in matching (ish) outfits !

the Excuse behind which is that this is from right before Universe (center) (They/Them) finished reviving Life (right) (she/her) and Death (left) (he/him) and therefore decided to put Their kids in outfits that They thought were suitable

[helielune]

[arolesbianism]

Every second of every day I remind myself that I'm going to need to learn to draw gore and body horror and every second of everyday I simply keep imagining it instead of drawing it because I don't even wanna try finding usable refs for the shit I wanna pull off (it also doesn't help that searching up refs for skinless human anatomy is. Annoying to do if you wanna draw someone who isn't made of muscle and nothing else)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

still thinking about my ideal horror game