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miastideclock · 4 years ago

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Stray Kids Reaction To Their Relationships Accidentally Going Public

@babybouille asked

Hi there ~ ! I saw that your request are open ? If possible can I please have a skz reaction for when their relationship with their s/o accidently goes public ? Thanks :)

Can do, love!

Word Count: 4,6k Warnings: sorry this took so long, not really a warning bUT YOU GET IT

Bang Chan

“What kind of spoiler? You will see it later. Recently what has everyone been up to these days? I’ve been working out a lot. Like, I’ve been eating salads. I want to build up my body-” Chan answered as he read the questions out loud.

Chan and Felix were sat on each their chair in Chan’s studio, talking to the fans via Chan’s weekly livestream. However, you had completely forgotten this. As you and Chan had been dating for almost six months, you probably should know this by now, but what can you do.

You knocked gently before opening the door, instantly closing it back up when you saw what they were doing. Luckily, the camera was at such an angle that you couldn’t see the door.

Chan jumped in his seat, as did Felix. “Hold on one moment you guys, I just need to mute our mic for a second.” The older Aussie spoke into the camera before clicking a few buttons. Chan then got out halfway out of frame, to the point where you could just see from the waist down on the left side of his body. From where he was standing, he could reach the door, so he opened it back up to find you standing there with a sheepish smile on your face.

“I am so sorry! I completely forgot!” You instantly apologized to both your boyfriend and your friend. As you leaned gently to the side to see past Chan, Felix chuckled, waving it off saying it was an honest mistake. “Did anyone see me?”

Even though you and Chan had dated as long as you had, the public had yet to find out. Originally, Chan was under a strict dating-ban, but after a few weeks of convincing, the management agreed to let you date, but only if you kept it a secret, and if you worked at the company. That way no one would be suspicious of you entered and left the building at free will.

“No, no one saw you babe- we’re good.” Chan chuckled and leaned forward to kiss you, jokingly making kissy noises as he came closer, mostly to gross out Felix, but also because the two of you genuinely found it funny to act like those super-gross couples.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m headed to the store, you boys want anything?” You asked, but as both the boys said no, their phones started vibrating like crazy. Felix grabbed his from the table they were sitting at, his face first confused, then a look of panic struck him. He instantly motioned for you and your boyfriend to be quiet as he grabbed the mouse and started clicking around the screen. He ended the live.

“Mate. You didn’t mute yourself.” Felix breathed once Chan asked what all the commotion was about. Chan’s blood ran cold as he realized what that meant. You instantly pulled out your phone and went to the VLIVE app to see the ending of their stream, and sure enough. Kissy sounds, loving nicknames, Felix saying you were cute together. It was all there.

“I guess we’re official then?” Chan sighed as he looked at you, scared of how you would react.

“Oh thank god!”

Lee Know

“You excited for the set tonight?” You asked softly as you sat on your boyfriends lap. He gently brushed his hands through your hair as he hummed a reply.

“Yeah, it has been so long it feels like. But when you really do the math it really isn’t that bad.” Minho replied, the playing of your hair never stopping. You had enjoyed having your boyfriend to yourself for a while, but you knew how much he loved working and being on stage, so you didn’t mind giving him up to his members for a while.

You and Minho had been dating for about a year at this point, but you had yet to go public. The only people who knew were his members, and their management team. Or so you thought.

“Hyung, don’t kill me!” Seungmin ran over to the couch you were sat on in the greenroom, his make-up perfectly done and his outfit matching Minho’s. Minho sat up straighter, making you look up from where you had your face nuzzled into his chest.

“Then don’t give me a reason?” Minho spoke, asking more than anything. Seungmin looked genuinely panicked, and you soon grew concerned for the boy. You had seen him get worried over dumb things before, but never like this.

“I posted on Instagram. I didn’t see until I read the comments, but by then it was too late- I deleted it, but the fans are too fast.” He stumbled over his words and stuttered, almost as if he had just ran a marathon.

“Seungmin, calm down. What was it about the picture?” Minho was now also concerned for the well-being of his member, genuinely worried he would have an anxiety attack.

“You and Y/N are in it.” He breathed and showed you his phone. The screen showed his selfie, very cute picture. But if you zoomed in, you could see you and your boyfriend, cuddling, being mid-kiss. Unluckily for you, the quality was good enough to where you could definitely tell it was Minho.

You inhaled a sharp breath of air, and instinctively looked to see Minho’s reactions- but it was impossible to read him. Was he happy? Stressed? Angry? Sad? Even with a gun to your head, you couldn’t give an answer.

“I mean..” He started, not sounding very upset. “If it’s already out there, management can’t really force us to keep it a secret anymore, right?” He asked Seungmin what his opinion on the matter was, but he was at a loss for words. You had to side with Seungmin on this one, as it was a thing anyone would be angry at.

When all Seungmin could do was stutter out inaudible sounds, Minho turned to one of the managers that had just entered the room. “Am I in trouble?” He asked calmly, and much to everyone's surprise, the manager shook his head.

“No, but just meet with us in the conference room when we get back, so we can talk about where you can go and stuff.” He said, making you and Minho nod.

“That went well.”

Changbin

You smiled slightly as you smelled the freshly popped popcorn, the salty and buttery smell filling your nose. While humming gently to yourself as you poured the snacks out of the bag and into a bowl, bopping your head to the beat you heard in your head. “Blurry lines, yeah-yeah. So many, so many-” But you cut yourself off as you heard your show begin in the living room. You softly squealed and ran with the popcorn and your drink.

Your boyfriend Changbin and his group was going on a talk show, and you were so excited to see it. You always loved their live interviews as they always felt more charismatic when nothing was edited out.

“Tonight on Late Later Latest with Bentley™, Stray Kids! Welcome!” The host greeted the boys. They did their intro and got started. The host asked her usual questions, how promotion was going, how it felt being such an up-and-coming group etc etc. After the general questions, she asked more individual question, asking Minho about his dancing (Nat Geo), Felix and Chan about their life in Australia and so on. When she finally went to Changbin, you felt your heart beat proudly.

You had originally asked management if you could come to the audience of the talk-show and watch, but they sadly denied your request as people might get suspicious. You and Changbin had been dating since forever, but the public didn’t know yet. Management had agreed to let you keep dating, but only if they could expose your relationship at any given moment for promotion purposes. At first you were disgusted with their demands, but you soon understood where they came from, and agreed.

“So Changbin, what would you say motivates your writing the most?” The host asked, giving him a smile as she did so.

Changbin nodded and answered, not giving his answer enough thought. “Well, mostly my girlf-” but he cut himself off. “uuh- my members? Maybe my fans?” He stumbled over his words, trying to hide his original answer, but it was too late.

“Were you gonna say girlfriend?” The host asked him in kind of a humoring tone. Changbin then sighed and nodded, this making you choke on your popcorn, sending a few pieces flying as you coughed. You did not expect him to expose your relationship for the whole world to see, this fine Thursday afternoon.

“Yeah. I guess I have to come clean now, don’t I? Y/N, please don’t kill me.” He sheepishly smiled into the camera and gave you a slight wave, causing you to smile back at him and wave gently, not realizing he couldn’t see you. You then let your and fall into your lap as you giggled at your now public boyfriend.

Hyunjin

While almost skipping, you made your way down the hallway. Taking turn after turn and up and down hallways and staircases, you finally found what you had been looking for. The loud music gave it away instantly as you entered the room.

in the middle of the floor, looking at himself dancing in the mirror, stood your boyfriend Hyunjin. “Hi baby!” He grinned when he saw you stood there by the door. He stopped dancing and hurried over to you and picked you up to spin you around. “I missed you!”

You had been out of town for about three weeks, so it was with good reason he said what he did.

“Am I interrupting anything?” You quickly asked, praying that he would say no. He shook his head while copying your grin, finally placing you back on the ground. You took that opportunity to get on your tippy-toes and give him a kiss.

You and Hyunjin had been dating for just under nine months at this point, and your relationship was still as blooming as if was only a few weeks ago you went on your first date.

At first, you had been forbidden to date, as his idol-contract came with pretty serious and strict rules, but after sneaking around for about half a year, the company finally gave up and let you do whatever you wanted. Hyunjin’s managers were all surprised when you let them know that neither of you wanted to take the relationship public, at least not to begin with. So all the secrecy was completely your own ideas. Hyunjin’s members also agreed to keep you a secret for now, respecting you and Hyunjin’s decisions.

“Would they mind if I stole you for a day date? I was thinking maybe taking you on a picnic right now, and then after we could go to the fair?” You suggested, already having the picnic basket ready in your car parked outside.

“I already told them I would be occupied the day you came home. I just gotta send this to our editor, and he can work his magic or something!” Hyunjin let you know, letting go of your waist to run over to the camera propped up on a tripod. He had been filming a dance practise, something he did every once in a while.

He clicked the camera and then sat down on the floor next to the laptop the camera was wired to, clicking a few more buttons. After that he cleared out the room, and you were on your way.

The date was nice, you and Hyunjin catching up, even though you had spoken on the phone every single night while you were away. However, mid-date, Hyunjin got a phone call from his leader. As it was just Chan, he put it on speaker so you could listen in too.

“Hyung! What’s up?” He asked casually, after he had placed the phone back down on the blanket.

“Hyunjin- did you mean to post that? Cause if yes- hella cute. If not? I’m so sorry, mate.” Bang Chan’s voice was slightly static as he was talking through a phone after all, but that wasn’t what made his statement confusing.

“What are you talking about?” Both you and Hyunjin said at the same time.

“Oh, Y/N, fitting that you’re here too. But you posted the uncut version of your dance practice to our VLIVE instead of sending it to the editor. Everything is there.. Everything.” He spoke slowly, trying to make sure you and your boyfriend truly understood the consequences.

You looked over at Hyunjin for a second, him being just as confused as you were- all before he looked like he had touched a hot plate, his face lighting up in a grimace.

“You! You’re in the video! We kiss! And say dating! sHIT-” He started panicking.

“Baby- slow down. I don’t care if you don’t. Maybe it was time for us to go public anyways- we couldn’t have kept it a secret the rest of our lives, right? I love you, you love me- we can do this.” You spoke in a tone to try to calm him down.

“Yeah, I do love you. We’ll figure it out.” He replied after letting out a sigh of relief. You then leaned in to kiss him but was cut off by someone you had forgotten long ago.

“Awwww, you guys! That was so cu-” BEEP. Hyunjin quickly hung up on Chan even though he was mid-sentence, going back to kissing you.

Han

“Please don’t ever get a mustache.” You chuckled as you gently stroked the fake beard glued to your boyfriends upper lip. He chuckled as he returned the favor, gently pulling on your fake grandma-glasses.

“I would say the same about your outfit, but I don’t know. This whole grandma look is growing on me.” He joked, you swatting away his hand as he did so.

“You’re weird.” You laughed at him.

You were currently sat in a boot at a restaurant, trying to enjoy a good meal with your boyfriend. As you still weren’t known to the public yet, despite having dated for almost a year- you had to play dress up.

You were sat in a dated dress you could find in any grandmother's closet, matched with a shawl draped over your head and granny glasses, covering as much of your face as possible. Your other half was in a suit, distorting his true body-type, a fake mustache and a hat.

“I don’t know, I preferred the costume where you dressed as a woman.” You snickered, making Jisung roll his eyes and chuckle with you.

This was in no way shape or form the first time you had dressed up to go out, but it had been some time since the last time you did it. His company didn’t necessarily have anything against your dating, as long as you kept it lowkey. You could go public if you so wished, but if you did- you couldn’t go on dates on massively crowded spots.

“I liked the one where you were not only a man, but a biker!” Jisung cackled at that one. But before he could say anything else, you both noticed a flash of light in the distance. Your first thought was lightning, but as you were inside a shopping centre, you doubted it.

As you both turned to the source of the light, you saw not only one, but two paparazzis standing by the entrance of the restaurant, taking your pictures.

You then quickly looked up at each other, and then making a run for the door, trying to hide your faces as much as you could.

Once you made it outside, Jisung grabbed your hand as you still ran, trying to drag you after him. You couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, as it would have to look ridiculous to anyone else. An old couple running at full speed down the shopping mall, as if they were being chased by the police? Iconic.

Your laugh soon infected Jisung causing him to laugh too, one hand on his hat, the other in yours.

Felix

“Okay, so- No! I’m not impostor- I’m down by electrical!” Felix defended himself as he spoke into the mic, discussing with the other players on Discord.

Felix was twitch streaming as he and some of his personal friends played Among Us. They also opted to use Discord rather than the chat that came with the game, when they were discussing.

“Nah, Felix sus! You know you can vent from electrical to medbay, and then you’re in cafeteria in two seconds, giving you plenty of time to kill cyan, and then leave!” One of his friends argued, prompting you to say something.

“No, I saw Felix do a garbage-task earlier, he safe.” You backed him. You hadn’t actually seen him to a task, but he seemed like he needed some help.

You loved playing with Felix and his friends, but you preferred it when they weren’t Twitch streaming. You were always scared to mess up, or let words slip. Words like babe, honey, or boyfriend. As you and your boyfriend Felix had decided to let the world think you were only friends, it made things a bit more difficult, gaming wise.

You had been dating for just over half a year at this point. His idol-company had asked you to date in secret for a while, just to see if it would work out before you announced it to the world- something you completely understood, as it was quite a mess to clean if you had a nasty break.

However, the past few weeks, you and Felix found yourself catching yourself almost revealing it by accident. At this point, you found it tiresome to keep the secret, wanting to spread it to the world so you could adore your boyfriend in public.

“Oh damn. Unless Felix and Y/N are impostor together!” Felix’s friend tried once again, but just as you had done previously you defended both you and your boyfriend.

“Eject confirmations are on. Danny was clearly the other impostor you dimwit.” You chuckled into your mic, making him groan.

“No, sorry- you’re right. Sorry Felix.” He apologized, prompting Felix to thank you for backing him, but along those lines, a certain word accidentally slipped his lips.

“Thanks, babe.”

As soon as the words had left his lips, the chat grew quiet, no one knowing if they were allowed to speak, or if Felix wanted to try and save his mistake. One of your monitors showed Felix’s stream which also happened to show his stream-chat, it going completely nuts.

xxemogirlxx: DID HE SAY BABE?

changbinishawt: IS Y/N HIS GIRLFRIEND?

falixlaa: omg i knew they were dating

And so on, and so forth. You found yourself in complete shock as you leaned back in your chair, your mouth wide open.

“Oh, screw it. Yes, Y/N is my girlfriend, and we’ve been together for a while. I’m also impostor while we’re at it.” He said, the relief in his voice prominent. As he spoke the last words, he ran over to his friend in MedBay and killed him, finishing the game.

The discord went crazy, all eight of Felix and you’s friends rioting.

“How does it feel being completely out to the world, Y/N?” You were asked by Danny.

“Feels great.”

Seungmin

“I’m really sorry, I’m already late for the meeting!” Your boyfriend, Seungmin apologized as he repeatedly kissed your cheeks, nose and forehead, finally landing on your lips.

“Go on! Have fun, and say hi to the boys from me would you?” You giggled and tried to squirm your way out of his hug. He finally released you, but not fully as he slid his hands down your arms and intertwined your fingers, slowly stepping away as he did so.

“Of course! Love you.” He smiled as he finally let go of your hand, but kept his walk backwards.

You were inside the company building at this point, so you didn’t need to worry if anyone saw you. You smiled at him and waved slightly until he turned a corner and was out of sight.

You and Seungmin had been dating for exactly six months, it being the reason for your date- to celebrate your anniversary. The company did have some words to say about your relationship in the beginning, but after a while they backed off and let you have your fun.

Once you were sure he was gone, you made your way out of the building and down to the bus-stop waiting for the next scheduled bus. Two girls were sat at the bus-stop already, waiting for the same bus as you probably. They seemed to have a weird look at you, but you ignored it

Maybe they had seen you and Seungmin enter the building! or maybe you just had gum on your pants? You decided to not give it too much thought. It was only a two minute wait, so before you knew it, you had your headphones plugged in and your phone in your hand. You were about to press the Spotify app, but soon noticed you had received a notification from VLIVE a few minutes ago.

You grew confused as the title didn’t mention any specific members hosting the live, but you clicked it nonetheless.

Your headphones were soon filled with the cheers and rioting of your boyfriends band members, having the time of their lives as some sat on the couch, and some on the floor. You did however fail to spot Seungmin in the crowd, making you a tad bit confused, but reckoned there was a reason for it. A reason you and about 1.2 million others soon found out.

Just as the boys calmed down and Minho opened his mouth to talk, the door at the very left of the screen opened and revealed a distressed Seungmin.

“Sorry I’m late, I was on my anniversary date with Y/N-” He started, not realizing the live had already started. The boys tried to save him as they started yelling once they saw where the sentence was going, but it was too late.

You felt your heart drop as you moved faster than lightning to tap the screen so you could see the comments. They were going crazy, everyone trying to figure out who you were, and if they had seen you before.

“Damn it. Well, sorry STAY- I do in fact have a girlfriend, and we would much appreciate it if you didn’t go trying to look for her, or harass her in any comment section. Thank you.” Seungmin asked directly to the camera, the comments instantly flooding with nothing but love and support for their faves and their significant others.

After the live was over, you found yourself smiling to yourself, happy that no one came with any mean comments.

As you were on your way to collect your bag and push the stop button on the bus, you accidentally made eye-contact with the two girls who were sharing headphones. They looked you up and down once more before their eyes lit up, almost if they realized.

Fear instantly washed over you, but it was soon gone as they raised their hands and waved and sent you little finger hearts, showing that they supported you. You softly waved back and stepped off the bus.

I.N

You were walking around a store downtown, minding your own business, having taken yourself out on a date. Your boyfriend, Jeongin was unable to join you as he had an early morning practice. You didn’t mind though, it had been a while since you got some time to yourself.

You and Jeongin had officially been dating for ten months circa, meaning you were already well into the relationship. His managers never really had anything against it as you seemed to follow all the company rules anyways.

Looking at the items in the thrift-shop you were in, a ring caught your eye, instantly making you think of Jeongin. You decided to give him a call to see if the ring was something he liked, and if you should bring it home for him.

The ringing of the FaceTime was short before he picked up, lighting up the whole screen with his massive smile. “Hi babe!” He beamed. You quickly greeted him and asked if he was busy. When he revealed he had a few minutes to spare, you flipped the camera so he could see what you were looking at.

“I saw this ring and thought it would suit you so well! It’s not too bold, and just large enough to make a statement. Would you wear it if I bought it for you?” You asked him as you showed him every angle of the ring, even how it looked on you.

“Oh I love it! It would go well with so many outfits too. You really know your stuff.” He complimented and chuckled. You spoke for a few more minutes before you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Excuse me?” You whipped around as they spoke to you, the voice belonging to a girl around maybe fourteen years old. You gently placed the screen of your phone against your stomach, not necessarily to hide your boyfriends face, but to be respectful towards the person you spoke to.

“Can I help you?” You asked as politely as you could. The girl soon waved over her friends who were scattered around the store, making them all step over to you.

“How do you know our oppa?” The first girl asked, almost sounding angry as she spoke. You shot her a confused glance, genuinely not knowing what she was talking about.

“I’m sorry- do I know you?” You asked, in case it was the little sister of one of your friends.

“No, you don’t. But I saw your phone and you are talking to our I.N-oppa!” She was almost throwing a tantrum at this point, and you had no idea what to say or do. You tried stuttering out a reply, but you found your mouth gaping and closing, like the one of a fish.

Muffles sounds suddenly came from your stomach, making both you and the girl look to your phone. You gently pulled it back out so you could see the screen. “Y/N, babe! Let me talk to them okay?” He suggested, having heard the entire conversation. You turned your phone around, but you didn’t let the girl hold it on her own, scared that she would run off with it.

“Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m Jeongin, and this lovely girl you are talking to is a good friend of mine, so I would really love it if you stopped being upset with her, and rather left her alone, okay?” Jeongin spoke to the girls, trying his best to come across as kind and sweet, even though he hated how they had treated you.

“Of course! But.. Is she your girlfriend?” The main girl asked, causing you to shake your head no, at the same time Jeongin sighed and confirmed you were. You felt your breath hitch and a smile creep up on your face.

“She is, but since we’re best friends now, you guys won’t tell anyone right?” He continued in the same baby-ing voice. Almost all of the girls agreed. All but one.

“Too late? I am so sorry!” She started sheepish, and ended in a panic. Apparently she had been filming the conversation and instead of stopping the filming when Jeongin asked them to keep it a secret, she had stumbled and uploaded it to twitter istead. Posting it to her hundreds and thousands of followers already.

Both you and Jeongin stood there silently for a second before you flipped the phone around and agreed that you should stop by the company building to do some damage control.

“I’ll see you there. Love you, bye.” You said and hung up. You gave the girls a half-assed smile and picked up the ring to go pay.

That took so long I am genuinely so so so so so sorry x

I hope you liked it tho!

-Bentley

448 notes · View notes

nostalgiahan · 4 years ago

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Euphoria

word count: 4k (holy shit)

genre: smut

content/warnings: explicit sexual content, threesome, restraints, pillow humping, oral (both receiving,) anal (m receiving,) face sitting, consent, discussion of boundaries, aftercare :)

pairing: dom!chan x sub!felix x afab/switch!reader

a/n: it is heavily implied that felix goes into subspace at the end! however you can interpret it however you want <3

You never planned on having two friends with benefits at once, but it turned out to be better than you could have ever imagined. You were originally just looking for someone to take your emotions out on after a long day, break them down to the bone and then put them back together again. You found that in Felix, your perfect boy; always obedient and eager to please, even if that meant getting orgasm after orgasm cruelly denied or being overstimulated to the point where his lithe frame was shaking and his eyes were puffy and red from tears. In the end, though, you were always there to calm him down, to rub lotion into his sores and to kiss his bruises better, to run your fingers through his hair as he cries into your chest. That’s what makes it worth it for you.

However, soon enough, you became burnt out. Domming Felix was fun, but it was tiring, and sometimes you just wanted to be taken care of. This lead you to Chan; similar to Felix in some ways but entirely opposite in others. Where Felix was timid and obedient, Chan was outgoing and domineering; ready to degrade you and pound you into his creaky bed or call you sweet names and milk multiple orgasms out of you until you were relaxed; whatever you happened to need that day.

So here you were. You had thought for some time about introducing them to each other; after all, they would fit together perfectly. Chan was the Yin to Felix’s Yang; one unabashedly dominant and the other perfectly submissive. You would love to just sit back and watch their dynamic play out. However, you also felt that doing that would make things more than just casual, and you weren’t sure how either of them felt about it. That was, until after one of your sessions with Felix.

You two were in the bath, his back against your chest, and you thought he was asleep until he turned around to press a peck to the top of your breast, his favorite way of getting your attention.

“What’s up, Lixie?”

“Um, I’ve been thinking about… something. Lately.”

“Yeah? What is it, baby boy?”

You maneuver him so you’re both sitting up in the tub, facing each other. At that, Felix averts his gaze.

“What do you think about, maybe, bringing in another dom?”

It’s silent for a bit before Felix speaks again.

“I mean, it’s okay if not. It’s just… you’re a really good dom, but I’ve been thinking lately about how hot it would be to be dommed by… two people at once. I don’t know. I feel like it’s weird.”

You bring a gentle hand under his chin, guiding him to look you in the eyes.

“Sweet boy, it’s not weird. I’ve been thinking about it too.”

You pull him against your chest again, and your hand returns to his hair.

“I have another friend with benefits, you know. His name is Chan. He’s a really good dom, and I’ve been thinking about introducing you two for a while.”

Felix relaxes noticeably against you, nuzzling his face into your chest.

“How about I text him right now?”

“Mmm. Bath first.”

“Of course. We’ll finish our bath, and then I’ll fix you some tea, and then we’ll text him. Sound good, Lixie?”

Felix nods against your chest, and not five minutes later, he’s dead asleep.

About half an hour later, the two of you are in bed, phone in hand. You’ve already shown Felix Chan’s pictures, and he seemed intrigued, given the way he shifted in his spot and gulped a bit louder than he probably intended to.

“Alright, Lixie, what do you want to say? He already knows that you’re my sub, but not much else.”

“Uh, we should probably get straight to the point, I guess. Something like, ‘Hi, my sub and I want you to fuck us.’”

He giggles, a cute sound that makes the air in the room feel lighter.

“Okay, maybe that’s too forward.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Felix is still giggling slightly as you type out a draft in your Notes app.

“How does this sound, baby boy?”

Hi, Chan. My sub and I were talking about how we might want to introduce another person into the bedroom, and I’ve been thinking about introducing you two for a while. Is this something you’d be interested in?

Barely a minute passes before Chan replies. It’s short, but it’s all the two of you need to hear.

Of course

The three of you settle on a time and date, about a week later. You didn’t have the foresight to set up a group chat or anything of the sort, so you’re going into this completely blind. Whatever. It’ll be fine.

The first one to arrive is Chan, and he has a duffel bag with him. Expected, but a bit intimidating.

“We could’ve just used my stuff, you know.”

“Eh, it’s more fun this way. Then I get to surprise both of you.”

You scoff but walk across the room to hug him. He takes you in his arms and chuckles when he feels you practically melt against him.

“Long day?”

You just sigh and Chan pecks the top of your head, squeezing you even tighter.

“Don’t worry about a thing, baby. Just let go for tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes later, Felix walks in, carrying nothing but his keys and phone. He sets them down nervously on the table by your front door before latching onto your side like a shy child might with their parent.

“Hi, lovely.”

Felix makes a muffled noise into your shirt but doesn’t move to greet Chan.

“What’s wrong, baby boy? Nervous?”

Felix pulls away to nod, gaze fixed firmly on the floor. Chan coos before approaching Felix slowly, just trying to get a closer look at the boy.

“You’re more… intimidating then I thought you’d be.”

Chan smiles wide and giggles brightly at Felix’s statement.

“Don’t worry, Felix. We don’t have to go faster than you’re comfortable with. Besides, we still need to have a talk about boundaries.”

Felix nods slowly, seemingly pleased with Chan’s statement.

“By the way,” you say, the two boys perking up at the sound. “I ordered pizza, it’s in the kitchen. We can have dinner and talk, and maybe you two can get to know each other.”

Felix jumps up, nervousness seemingly forgotten as he rushes to the kitchen, a big smile on his face. He rips the pizza box open, grabbing a slice for himself and shoving it into his mouth unceremoniously, forcing a giggle out of you. As everyone gets their pizza and settles down, you turn on some soft music and invite everyone to sit on your couch. You figured it would be better to have this conversation on neutral ground. Felix immediately curls into your side, now staring inquisitively at Chan, who’s sitting on your other side.

“So, uh, I figured we should just establish some hard boundaries first. Lix, do you want to go?”

Felix nods and grabs his phone from the side table, seemingly opening something on it.

“I wrote down what I wanted to say so I wouldn’t forget.”

Both you and Chan smile at that.

“So, uh, I can’t really handle intense degradation. I can do it if you mix in nice words, but I much prefer praise. I like knowing I’m doing well. Uh, and no bodily fluids or gross stuff like that. And aftercare is really important for me. I need a lot of it.”

Chan nods, looking attentively at Felix.

“Pretty much anything else other than those things is fair game.”

Chan leans in just slightly.

“So what do you like, Felix?”

Felix looks back at his phone, the tips of his ears and nose turning a light pink.

“Uh, choking. And pain. And, uh, praise, obviously. I like being marked up, too.”

Felix’s face gets adorably redder as he reads off the items on the list. You look over and notice Chan is trying to cover the outline of his half-hard dick in his sweatpants with a slice of pizza.

When Felix is done, Chan asks him another question which makes Felix choke on his own spit.

“What do you like to be called?”

After taking a moment to collect himself, Felix speaks up.

“Uh, I didn’t write that down.”

“That’s okay. If you remember later, just tell me.”

“Okay. Well, uh, Lixie and Lix are always good. And uh, baby boy, or any variant of that, really. And, uh…”

Felix murmurs the end of his sentence and although you already know what he said, you still lift his chin up with your hand and guide his gaze towards Chan’s

“Go ahead, Lixie. Tell him your favorite pet name.”

Felix looks away, and in a very small voice, says,

“Kitten.”

Chan’s eyes visibly darken and he shifts in his seat, clearly trying to restrain himself until the conversation is over. You smile contentedly, and decide to continue the conversation yourself in fear of Felix becoming impossibly more flustered.

Eventually, the conversation comes to a close, and the three of you stand up to head to your bedroom, Chan grabbing his bag which Felix didn’t notice until now. His eyes widen and he grabs your hand, squeezing hard. You squeeze back to offer him some reassurance as the three of you slip into the bedroom.

Turning Felix around to face you and taking both of his hands in yours, you press a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Are you still nervous, baby?”

Felix nods and looks away again.

“You know we can stop any time if it gets too much for you, right?”

He nods again.

“I want to do this. I’ve just never done this before.”

“That’s okay, Lixie, just try to relax, okay?”

He nods and you let go of his hands, turning towards Chan.

“Is everyone good with using the traffic light system?”

The both of them nod.

“What is everyone’s color?”

Everyone says green.

“Alright. Lixie, why don’t you sit on the bed for me?”

Felix, ever obedient, sits with his hands in his lap, fingers nervously picking at the sleeves of his hoodie. You approach him carefully and take his face in your hands, leaning down to kiss him gently. He immediately reciprocates, falling into the comfortable rhythm that the two of you share. Chan watches from the sidelines until you pull away, beckoning him with a small tilt of your head. He pads over softly until he’s standing in front of Felix, running his hand through the younger boy’s hair. Felix tentatively places his small hands on Chan’s waist, and the older smiles before leaning in slowly to kiss him. It starts out slow and sweet, but soon Felix is grasping at the fabric of Chan’s shirt, letting out tiny whimpers into his mouth. It’s adorable, watching Felix fall apart like this.

You decide to sit behind Felix on the bed, wrapping your arms around him for a quick hug before dipping your hands under the hem of his shirt, letting them explore the skin there. Felix whines at the unexpected touch but keens into it, prompting Chan to pull back and pull Felix’s shirt off.

He’s flustered at first, covering his chest with his hands, until you pull them away and start brushing your fingertips over his pert nipples. He lets out a long, drawn-out whine, arching into your touch.

“Does my pretty boy like having his nipples played with?” Chan asks, smirking down at Felix. He nods frantically as you increase your speed, causing him to squirm even more in your hold. Chan hums appreciatively before motioning for the two of you to scoot back on the bed, and when you do, he settles in between Felix’s legs and starts to mouth at his cock through the younger’s jeans. Felix cants his hips up into Chan, but the older is having none of it and pushes his hips down violently, coaxing a gasp out of him.

“Stay still.”

Chan unbuttons Felix’s jeans and and pulls them down, along with his underwear, agonizingly slow, relishing in the younger’s sigh of relief. He’s already fully hard, and it must hurt.

“This worked up already?”

Felix nods frantically, just trying to get Chan to get on with it. Chan walks away, and retrieves a pair of pink leather cuffs from his bag.

“I’m told you look pretty in pink.”

When Felix stays silent, you lean up from where you’ve been sucking gently on Felix’s neck to murmur in his ear.

“Is that true, Lix? Tell him.”

“Y-yes, I look pretty in pink.”

Chan nods approvingly as he snaps the cuffs around Felix’s wrists, securing them behind his back. He assumes his position between Felix’s legs again, hands wrapping around his now bare thighs, shocked to find that his hands are big enough to wrap around almost halfway. He can feel his dick twitch at the thought of being so big that he can literally split Felix in half.

When Chan wraps his lips around Felix’s tip, he can tell the sub is using all of his self-control not to fuck up into his mouth. However, nearly as soon as he starts, Chan pulls off, leaving Felix whining for more.

“Tsk. Be patient, kitten.”

Chan’s ego swells when he sees Felix’s dick jump at the pet name. He looks towards you, where you’re still kissing all over Felix’s neck and shoulders, running your hands up and down his sides, and lifts your chin up, giving you a quick kiss.

“What do you think about helping out our y/n? They deserve it for introducing us, don’t you think?”

Felix nods, but tugs at the cuffs restraining his arms. He wants so badly to touch, but he knows Chan won’t let him.

“Go ahead, then. I’ll get you started, yeah?”

Felix can only nod as he watches Chan undress you to your underwear, rubbing his fingers lightly over your slit and reveling in the low groan you let out, completely opposite to Felix’s whining.

“Alright, go ahead, baby boy.”

Felix looks at Chan, confused. How was he supposed to get your underwear off if he couldn’t use his hands? Chan just shrugs and sits back on his heels, undressing himself and palming himself through his underwear as he watches.

Felix tries to be sexy and pull your panties down with his teeth, but he can only get them down an inch or so before he gives up. He eventually settles for just mouthing at your clit over your underwear, but it’s still not enough. He switches between your clit and nipples before just giving up for the second time and sitting back, looking at his knees dejectedly. Chan sighs before moving Felix aside and huffing in fake disappointment, pulling down your panties and unhooking your bra with his hands.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Felix whines, but he yelps when Chan delivers a harsh slap to his thigh.

“No talking back.”

Felix sighs and huffs out a “fine” before leaning against you, signaling that he wants you to touch him.

“Poor Lixie. That must hurt, huh?” You gesture towards his cock, angry red and straining against his stomach. He nods and you hum, reaching out a hand to stroke him slowly.

“You remember what Chan said, baby boy?”

Felix nods.

“Yeah? What did he say?”

“Stay still.”

You hum approvingly and continue to stroke Felix lightly, squeezing involuntarily as Chan’s lips wrap around your clit and suck. You try your best to keep going as Chan licks up your slit, making lewd slurping noises that cause Felix to thrust up into your hand. He doesn’t process that he did until he feels another slap on his opposite thigh and your hand move away from his cock. He whimpers to try and get your attention, but both of your hands are tugging at Chan’s hair, and all Felix can do is watch.

Eventually, Felix’s helpless whines catch Chan’s attention and he grabs a pillow from the head of the bed, tossing it in Felix’s direction.

“You want relief that badly, huh? Be patient for us, kitten. For now, hump that. I’m busy. And don’t you dare cum until I tell you to.”

Felix whines but complies, situating the pillow between his legs and rutting into it as he watches Chan eat you out.

Meanwhile, your eyes are screwed shut as Chan picks up speed, letting out loud moans that only make Felix more desperate for you. You can feel your first orgasm quickly approaching, and you make sure to let Chan know. He just hums against you and sticks two fingers inside of you, making you nearly scream in pleasure. Your grip on his hair grows ever tighter as you beg him to let you cum. He pulls away just slightly to give you permission, and almost on command, you’re cumming all over his fingers and tongue. Chan just laps it up eagerly and shifts his gaze to focus on Felix, who’s rutting into the pillow faster and faster.

Chan lifts Felix’s chin up and kisses him hard, almost toppling the poor boy over with the force of the kiss. He slows down, and eventually comes to a stop, panting as tears line his eyes, threatening to fall from how desperate he is to be touched again.

“Come here, baby boy. You were so good.” Chan unclasps the cuffs and Felix takes a moment to stretch his wrists. Chan kisses the spots where Felix tugged too hard and left red marks, causing the younger to look away and blush.

As Chan is leaning Felix back on the bed, kissing down his body, an idea pops into the sub’s head.

“Hey, Chan, uh…”

“Yes, Lixie?”

“I was wondering if, uh.”

Chan cocks his head and rubs his thumb over Felix’s cheekbone as he waits for him to finish his sentence.

“Yes?”

“Uh, if it’s okay with you, I want you to fuck me.”

A short silence passes before Felix covers his face with his hands, trying desperately to backtrack.

“I mean, it’s okay if not! I know some people aren’t really into that, and, uh, it was just a suggestion, but if not-”

Chan silences Felix with a kiss.

“Sweet boy, all you had to do was ask.”

Felix sighs in relief.

“Y/N, why don’t you help prep our kitten?”

You nod and reach towards the bedside table where the lube and condoms are kept.

“Lix, is it okay if I fuck your mouth?”

Felix sputters out an overenthusiastic ‘yes,’ bringing his hands towards Chan’s thick thighs. The older just laughs and discards his boxers before situating himself on Felix’s chest, the sub’s mouth watering at the sight of Chan.

Chan has just started pushing gently into Felix’s mouth when you put your first finger in, slicked up thoroughly with lube. He moans louder than you’ve heard him all night when it’s fully situated, at which Chan groans and pushes in further. You can’t see what’s happening, but the sounds give you a clear enough picture, sloppy and wet and absolutely filthy. When you tease a second finger at Felix’s hole, he groans, causing Chan to buck forward into his mouth.

When Chan sets a steady pace, you push a second finger in, and then a third. You don’t purposefully aim for Felix’s prostate, but you must have hit it because a moan even louder than the ones before it reaches your ears and a gush of precum dribbles out of Felix’s slit. You decide to treat him and wrap your lips around his tip as you stretch your fingers out inside him. Chan just keeps fucking into Felix’s mouth faster and faster, and you can tell he’s getting close, but he pulls out right before he cums, much to Felix’s dismay.

Chan gets off of Felix’s chest and rolls on a condom as you decide he’s stretched out enough.

“Ready, kitten?”

Felix nods, whining desperately. There are tears tracks drying on his face, which must have been from Chan fucking his mouth just moments before.

At first, you just want to sit aside and watch as Chan takes your pretty kitty apart. You do for a bit, reveling in the way that Chan throws his head back as he tries not to cum right away from Felix’s tightness, or the way Felix bites on his knuckles and arches his back as Chan pushes into him. However, once Chan is fully settled inside Felix, resting a comforting hand on the smaller boy’s inner thigh, you have a better idea. Crawling towards the two of them, you give Felix a soft kiss before setting yourself over him, dripping heat right above his mouth. You’re facing Chan and he gives you a look, but when you say in a low voice that face sitting is Felix’s favorite, he nods.

You can feel puffs of air on your cunt as Felix tells Chan to start moving. Then, you lower yourself onto Felix and when his tongue starts circling and gently biting at your slit, you throw your head back in pleasure. Chan grabs the back of your neck and tugs you in for a kiss, and it’s more of an exchange of spit and clashing teeth than a kiss but it works.

Chan starts fucking faster into Felix and the younger lets out a loud, high-pitched moan, his mouth leaving your cunt as he lolls his head back onto the pillow. You reach behind you and grab his hair, pushing his face up into your slit rather forcefully. His licks and sucks get more frantic as Chan thrusts even faster, and he lets out moans into you, wrapping his arms around your thighs for purchase.

You can feel your second orgasm of the night coming on.

“Can you keep holding on for me a bit longer, baby? I’m close too.”

Felix moans frantically, freely fucking himself back onto Chan, nearly screaming when Chan holds his hips up to more easily hit his prostate and wraps a hand around his dick. Chan hammers that spot over and over, Felix letting out helpless moans and screams as he approaches his high. Chan can tell that he’s close, but he knows Felix won’t be able to ask him for permission to cum in his fucked-out state.

“You can cum, Lix. Go ahead and let go for us.”

With a strangled scream, Felix cums hard onto his own stomach. Chan follows soon after, letting out a low, loud groan as he rides out his high inside Felix. You reach a hand down to your clit to finish yourself off, body convulsing as you fall over onto Chan. He pulls you against his chest as he stills inside Felix, the three of you breathing heavily. When you get off of Felix, you notice that he’s fully crying.

“Lixie, are you okay?”

Felix just groans, staring at the ceiling with blank eyes. Chan pulls out and discards the condom as you pull Felix’s head into your lap and stroke his hair. His entire body is limp.

Chan once again returns to his bag and pulls out a big fluffy blanket sporting a paw print pattern and a few extra pairs of clothes. He drapes the blanket over Felix, tucking it in around the sides and brushing some stray, sweaty strands of hair from the younger’s forehead.

Felix’s eyes flutter shut, and you lean into Chan, exhausted.

“That was… really good,” you say groggily.

Chan just nods, putting an arm around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head tenderly. You busy yourself with threading your fingers through Felix’s hair and trying to get all the knots out. Chan reaches over for the clothes and tugs a shirt over his head, wiggling his legs through some sweatpants. The two of you work together to wipe Felix down and dress him in a similar outfit, before you pull on a sweater and a pair of sweatpants identical to the ones that Chan is wearing.

After a bit of maneuvering, you’re sandwiched in between the still asleep Felix and a very, very, tired Chan.

“Do you want to do this again sometime?”

You laugh hoarsely and nod. “We’ll have to ask Felix when he wakes up.”

“Oh, I’m sure he won’t be opposed.”

You hum, and Chan wraps his arms around you even tighter then they were before, pulling you closer to his chest.

“Pancakes and bacon when we wake up?”

“Absolutely.”

#stray kids smut #stray kids #stray kids chan #stray kids felix #skz #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids x reader #bang chan #felix lee #skz smut #skz x reader #wow this is just... pure filth #god if you see this i'm sorry

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fondnesses · 4 years ago

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roscoe’s notebook post

A while back I said I was going to write a post about the way I use notebooks for writing projects. This is the first of several posts about Writing Process I’ve been tossing around in my drafts for a little while as a result of conversations with friends, so bear with me.

I. Love. Notebooks. I genuinely would have to deeply overhaul my whole Process of writing anything on the longer side if I were to go paperless; I find physical paper pretty invaluable when I’m outlining, brainstorming, and researching, and I still probably write ¼-⅓ of all my actual content on paper first. (That proportion used to be a lot higher, but I’ve gotten better at being productive on a computer in recent years, which is great.) I’m a very visual person, so notebooks really help me visualize my ideas, story structure, etc. It’s very helpful to be able to use arrows and diagrams and physically strike things through, and the tactility is really soothing to me. If I show people my notebooks or talk about them, I often get a response like “this is so organized”, which is sort of true, but I have to stress that it’s “organization for a disorganized mind”; I can’t misplace ideas or notes if it all goes into the same physical object, vs. electronic notes, which are much more, like “Did I say that in a voice memo? PM it to myself on Discord? Leave it in a desktop sticky note? Write it directly into the Google Doc? Who knows! It’s lost to time!”. It’s very much an ADHD management strategy.

It helps that I’m a very neophyte stationery hobbyist and appreciate any excuse I have to use my pens, but I also will go off at any opportunity about how helpful I find them for writing projects, which is why I decided to just make a post about it. Right now I mostly use them for (fan and original) fiction projects, but I used a notebook for a very similar purpose when I was working on my undergrad thesis, and I have a slightly different but equally necessary-to-me approach to notebooks I use at work.

My typical structure for a notebook that’s devoted to one project only looks like this:

I always leave the first couple pages blank so I can go back and retroactively index bujo-style. I don’t always actually do the index, because sometimes I get too lazy, but I like having those blank pages there to give me the option. I also usually put epigraphs/inspo quotes on the first page.

After that, there’s often (but not always, I’ll talk about it) a couple pages at the start where I’m frantically jotting down loose brainstorming ideas before they've coagulated into a story structure. Just, like, vomiting into the void.

Stemming out of that, I usually write out about like 5-10 pages of outline-style notes in chronological order, laying out all the main story beats and charting out the story trajectory. This will inevitably get revised and rewritten many times, but I find the process of writing these wide-angle synopses really useful for dislodging ideas, making connections re: thematic threads, etc. from my brain.

I’ll devote a couple pages after that to specific things like "sex scene brainstorming", "random scene ideas/minor details that don't have a clear place in the outline right now but I'll turn to for inspo later" [this is what I refer to as “bits” in one of the later photos], "page where I just outline the Motifs And Themes", "research notes", "to-do list", "stuff to check on a second pass", "things to put in the a/n and AO3 tags", etc.--the specifics vary with the story.

Then, I skip ahead to approx. halfway through the notebook and cordon off the rest of the pages to be “free writing” space, AKA writing of actual content rather than planning, with the expectation there will be no internal organization and I’ll transcribe to laptop as I go. Writing on paper feels less binding than typing something on a computer; it’s like a little secret kept with myself, and it doesn’t need to go anywhere or be seen by anyone if I decide I don’t like it. Setting aside pages in the back half of the notebook means that, as more things come up re: planning, I can go back and add those in the rest of the pages that were intentionally left blank. This is how I avoid (for the most part) having the whole thing be a jumbled mess where there’s no separation between the notes and the actual story writing; I learned this the hard way via the first notebook I’ll show you in a second. I’ve recently gotten really into using Muji sticky note tabs to label any pages/sections of particular import that don't want to have to refer back to in the index and would rather just flip to instantly.

I do use notebooks that aren’t specific to any one project, but those are much less organized and less worth sharing.

Before I look at more recent stuff, here are some selections from my notebook for the project that got me into writing longfic, my Golden Kamuy canon divergence AU (with apologies for the bad photos, my phone’s camera is trash). I worked on this from Sept 2018-July 2019. It was a learning experience in a lot of ways, and notebook utilization was one of those. I’ve always used notebooks for keeping track of writing projects, as I said earlier, but before this it was largely without much organization or structure; just total chaos. Having a physical notebook became really important for this project because it was a sprawling multichapter story with rotating POVs and a lot of historical research. I also learned a lot about what not to do with a notebook, personally, or at least things that don’t work so well (for me). This was a college ruled spiral-bound Decomposition Book, for the record.

By the time I bought a notebook for it I already had a (very basic) plot outline in mind, so I wasn’t doing that very initial ground-zero brainstorming in here; I was copying out of my phone’s notes app, basically, and then going from there.

This is one of the first pages in this notebook; I wanted to visualize the relationship web between the four central characters in the story in terms of how they feel about one another. The two colours correspond to the POV characters (Sugimoto in orange, Ogata in pink), and I used this colour-coding throughout the notebook with highlighters, etc. to keep track of information that was more relevant to one character than the other. Tsurumi and Yuusaku aren’t POV characters, but they’re prominent in the story and their presence impacts the central relationship between Sugimoto and Ogata, and it was helpful to me to map out the emotional ecosystem, as it were.

(There are coffee stains all over this, because I wrote the vast majority of the story in coffee shops because I didn’t want to be around my roommates, lol. This is part of why I never do fiction writing in notebooks that are too nice, I get neurotic about needing to keep them tidy. I can’t use ones that are too shit though, either, so it’s a bit of a narrow window. I’ll talk more about brands and paper quality etc. later.)

As you can see, this is the first page of many I set aside specifically for jotting down different pieces of historical information relevant to my story. It’s about fictional characters who are members of an army division that existed in real life, and both the canon and my fic involve a high level of attention to detail with regards to which divisions were present for which battles, etc., as well as general historical details specific to the Russo-Japanese War setting--what did people eat in the trenches? What did they do to fill time? How did they get through the winter? What did third party observers have to say about the conditions? What were the specs of their weaponry (particularly important because one of the POV characters is a sniper and gun nut)? I did a lot of reading (and watching of antique gun collector Youtube videos... the things I do for love, eh), and it came in handy so many times, because it turns out it’s much easier to write trench warfare slice of life if you have factual details to pull from when you don’t know what to do with a scene! Imagine that!

This is the first of three “grid outlines” I made; this is a way I sometimes like to visualize a story outline all on one page, with the columns representing chapters and the squares within the columns representing sections/scenes within the chapters. As you can see, early on I was hoping to get this done in five or even FOUR chapters (whatmakesyouhaha.mp3), with POV switches happening internally within the chapters. This proved to be unwieldy for many reasons, so I revised the outline:

Here I’d come to terms with the fact this story was going to have a lot more chapters than I’d planned, and I rearranged things so that it would happen in ten, with each chapter belonging to only one POV character. This also needed revising later, and in the end the story looked a bit more like this (though it did in fact end up being twelve chapters, but only because Chapter Ten was like, 12k, and needed to be split in two chunks):

I must have remembered to bring my fineliners to the coffee shop this time, lol, because as you can see it’s properly colour-coded this time. This outline was made when I was already four posted chapters into the fic, which hopefully gives you a sense of the way in which I am sort of a planner and a pantser; I can’t get into a longer project without an outline, but the outline inevitably changes many times throughout writing and I often end up with a finished product that looks pretty different from what I was intending. My creative M.O. as always is Do The Maximum! Amount! Of! Work! Possible!

This is what a “free writing” page looks like, for me. In this notebook I didn’t set aside any specific spaces for free writing so it’s strewn throughout the notebook in a really disorganized way and I was constantly flipping through looking for bits I’d written and forgotten to transcribe, and I decided to be more organized in future as a result of that. If something’s crossed through, that means I transcribed it. As you can see, they’re often small sections, sometimes just a coupled decontextualized sentences. About 3/4 of what I write in a notebook makes it into the story, I’d say; some of it never goes anywhere, and that’s OK. I have less of an issue killing my darlings if they never make it off the paper page.

A very brief, top-down chapter outline, where the goal was not to get too bogged down in details and just to visualize the beats and pin down what they’re trying to accomplish. Chapters for this fic typically ran about 6k, and five or six scenes per chapter was pretty common, so the average scene length was about 1-1.25k words/scene. IDK why I called it storyboarding when I didn’t make drawings. (Margin numbers are to keep track of word count, since I was using a daily word count tracker while writing this.)

This page was, as titled, for keeping track of the various balls in the air when I was about 2/3-3/4 of the way through the story and really feeling the pressure with regards to tying up the various loose ends. This was... a struggle. I hadn’t ever written anything longish (this fic ended up just under 70k) that had an action plot before, let alone a canon divergence scenario where I had to engage with and explain away various canon plot elements so I could maintain the audience’s suspension of disbelief.

Now, I mentioned earlier that I learned various “things not to do” with my notebooks while working on that project. One of those lessons I learned is to be more realistic when assessing how big a project is likely to get, not least because I RAN OUT OF PAGES around the chapter 9-10 mark. In my defense though, that’s because I’d never written anything even half this long! But I know better now, and try not to be in denial. Finishing the notebook early was a way bigger problem than I’d anticipated, and was part of the reason the last few chapters took several grueling months to finish. The issue was that I needed to be able to use a notebook to maintain my workflow--attempting to do it only on a computer was dismal--but it seemed silly to start a notebook of a similar size to the one I’d finished (80pg, approximately B5 dimensions) when there was no way it would need that much space, especially since the reference pages, like the historical notes, didn’t need to be transcribed over. I was also pretty broke at the time and didn’t want to spend money unnecessarily, lol. I tried to get by using a Moleskine Cahier for a month or so because I had one lying around, but it was horrid; it was too small to be used comfortably, it wasn’t spiral-bound so it wouldn’t lay flat, the ghosting is terrible and I hate the way Moleskine paper feels, etc. Eventually I caved and went to Muji and bought a 30ish page A5 with closer to lay-flat binding, and I finished the story in there. I would take a comparative pic for you of the relative notebook sizes and include some of the scene staging diagrams, etc. I put in there, but I can’t find it :(

So I learned that specs really do matter, and it’s okay to be picky if the pickiness is going to make the difference between actually using a notebook or not. Things that are important to me in my notebooks:

Ruling (gotta have ruling, I can suffer through grid but blank or dot is a no-go)

Size (I can’t use anything smaller than at least a medium-large notebook, I find it claustrophobic and get miserly about page space)

Binding (twin ring is my preference because it looks and feels better than a classic spiral but has the same comfort of use with regards to bending the pages back to suit workspace size and laying flat with ease)

Paper quality and colour (I don’t like anything too slippery/smooth or with too much visible ghosting, and I strongly prefer an off-white paper to bleached paper--part of why I don’t use Decomposition Books anymore, the paper is scratchy and it’s too damn bleached!)

Pagecount relative to size of project

Portability (in non-COVID times; anything bigger than a B5 wouldn’t fit in the satchel I used to bring to work at my old job), etc.

But everyone’s taste is different in this respect, and the only way to figure out what works for you is through trial and error, I’m afraid. I also suspect I’m more neurotic and particular about the sensory experience of using a notebook than most people are, but I yam what I yam.

Now to talk about the notebooks for my current projects, where I’ve refined my approach somewhat. I’ve included less photos for these because they’re ongoing WIPs I don’t want to spoil completely, but I’ve tried to include some outline-type stuff to give you an idea.

My big bang fic is in the very ugly twin ring notebook on the right; I got it at a dollar store by my house because I needed something to work in and didn’t want to wait for an online order, but it’s been very serviceable for my needs. The paper isn’t even bad. The bigger notebook (B5) is my Sangcheng fic.

I wanted something with a lot of pages for this, because I knew it was going to be a long story, and for some reason the fact it’s smaller than my usual preference doesn’t bug me (I think it’s an A5?); it just fits this story, somehow. I’m not sure exactly how many sheets are in here but I’d guess about 150.

Because this notebook has upwards of 100 sheets, I made a lot of use of sticky-note tabs to label high-priority pages. The colour coding of these doesn’t mean anything, it was just whichever ones I had at hand at any given moment. These are those tabs from Muji I mentioned, I’m really obsessed with them--the shape makes them so much less obtrusive and more practical than conventional squares/rectangles OR flag shapes, IME.

My big bang story is nonlinear, so, similarly to what I did with colour coding for the two POVs for my GK fic, this story has two main colours corresponding to whether a given section takes place in the “before” or the “after” portions of the timeline, with blue as “after”, yellow as “before”. This is what the most current version of the outline looks like in there:

If you squint, you can see the alphanumeric notes in the top right of each section entry; I gave them each a code like “A3″ or “B5″ corresponding to their position in the story sequence (so, it goes A1, B1, A2, B2, etc., through to B9 and then the epilogue). [Unintentional that this schema overlaps with notebook size labeling and so is kind of confusing in the context of this post.] At first I was just keeping track of the sections via the highlighted titles, but it got confusing because I’d write down “Wedding” or “Yiling” in my notes and then refer to the notes later like “but there are multiple marriages?? and multiple scenes in Yiling??”. Stuff gets struck through with a straight line if it’s been written in a more-or-less complete form and crossed out with a squiggly line if it’s been cut from the outline or made redundant.

As I said earlier, I started out all the initial brainstorming for my Sangcheng fic in its notebook, instead of brainstorming it in someone’s DMs/my notes app/a voice memo/etc. and then transcribing it into the notebook in a somewhat more organized fashion, which is how my stories usually start out. Because of this, the first five-ish pages are basically just stream of consciousness rambling where I was trying to jot down every disconnected thought I had about the story concept. I don’t have photos for that because it’s too spoilerific for later developments in the fic, but I can show you some of the stages the outlines went through, once I was able to corral those initial notes into a story structure:

All the chapters in this fic have their own highlighter colour, so when I started trying to make sense of my initial brainstorm notes I just went through and highlighted stuff in the colour of the chapter it would make the most sense for, and then transcribed things more-or-less in chronological order into the relevant chapter outline. I later ended up rewriting all the chapter outlines AGAIN to refine them and divide them internally by the individual scenes, which makes them a lot more legible and less wall-of-text-y. They look like this now, with about four sheets per chapter:

Because this fic is on the longer side, I have some pages that are just for keeping track of other story elements, like this, where I refer back to whatever the fuck the “themes” are supposed to be whenever I forget what this fic is about:

It’s all about the visionboarding... Anyway, that’s most of what I have to offer, since most of these two notebooks is Forbidden Content.

With regards to brands/supplies, I really like this Kokuyo Campus Wide notebook that I’m writing Sangcheng in, it’s pretty perfect for me. I also like the B5 Muji twin rings, but those only come in 30 sheets, so I wouldn’t use it for anything above a ~20k project. The B5 Maruman Spiral Note 6.5mm ruled/80 sheet is another good one, though I wish it was twin ring instead of spiral. As you can tell, I like Japanese stationery brands because it’s easier to find decent paper quality and minimalist design without shelling out $$ than it is with American/European brands, at least IME. I like Rollbahns too. But honestly, I can usually find pretty serviceable random notebooks that aren’t brand-name from Asian dollar stores; it’s really not something where you need to shell out tons of money.

#notebooks #writing #idk how to tag this!

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catsafari25 · 4 years ago

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I was tagged by @let-the-whump-commence thank you! (Notifications didn't tell me you'd tagged me, thank you tumblr! 🙃

1. why did you choose your url?

It was the username I originally used waaaaaay back in my runescape era, because I like cats and safaris and then it stuck because I am No Good at change.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

*cackles*

catsafarithewriter: my TCR blog, with a dash of generic Ghibli.

sardinesandhumbugs: my witw blog :D

inventionofparanoia: originally my wolf 359 blog, then devolved out into generic podcast blog when the fandom appeared dead.

I do have at least.... uh, eight other sideblogs that I've mostly forgotten about and/or are only for personal reference.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

It must have been back in 2012? I think I came across the term 'ace' just before the exclusionists hit, which was around that time, and it has been a trip watching this site's opinion on ace folk finally begin to calm the fuck down again

4. do you have a queue tag?

Yep, and it's 'cue cat' because I liked the alliteration and the homophone pun. (For sardinesandhumbugs its 'messing about in a boat on the river with queue' because I like puns and catsafarithewriter it's 'the cat queues')

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

A friend mentioned tumblr and I thought I'd give it a try - I figured it'd be an interesting platform for fandom shenanigans, and it's slightly more interactive than ffnet (but about as buggy)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Cause I'm ace and Belle was my favourite Disney princess growing up :D

7. why did you choose your header?

*goes back to check what my header is* oh, just because I like Doctor Who and Kingdom Hearts and I can't be arsed to change it

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

The road to el dorado meme about toilet paper from last year. (Technically originally posted on my TCR blog for some reason, but w/e) It's nice to know the half hour I spent photoshopping toilet paper wasn't for naught XD

9. how many mutuals do you have?

According to tumblr, 38? If I know you in person or you're a fandom mutual, you are a Mutual+ and you deserve all the good things <3

10. how many followers do you have?

268, honestly more than expected for this nonsensical blog and I'm fairly certain not all of them are bots :D

11. how many people do you follow?

404, but fittingly I'm pretty sure most of them are dead or inactive also I keep accidentally following people on the buggy tumblr app

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

asldkfjasdlfkj usually only on the fandom blogs

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Eh, I usually check on my phone in the mornings, and then on the laptop in the evenings.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I once had a discussion over fandom interaction, back last year when I really wasn't having a Good Mental Time and I think that's the closest I ever got to an argument. (Basically, I felt pressured to produce creative content, but was getting no feedback and apparently that just fed into an unhelpful anxiety-depressive slump)

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

They trigger my "you told me to do it so I won't" response so I don't. Also I know some folks who follow me get anxiety from those types of posts, so I don't want to spread that.

16. do you like tag games?

YES. NEXT QUESTION but I hate tagging people I don't want to feel like I'm annoying anyone

17. do you like ask games?

PLEASE ASK ME NONSENSE, IT MAKES ME LAUGH also any asks over fandom stuff is always welcome, I'm 85% on tumblr just for fandom shenanigans

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I honestly have no idea who is famous on tumblr; I just bumble around and hope for the best

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Hella aroace, but platonic crushes on @let-the-whump-commence (you write so good! also hellllo angst!) @tcrmommabear (love of my life <3) @jeremystollemyheart (you just seem like a genuinely cool person and beloved witw mutual) and @wolfiethewriter (2020 was the year of garbage, but it was a little less garbage for you being in it <3)

20. tags?

^see 16. Please consider yourself tagged if you want to though <3

#tag game #cat rambles #okay two platonic crushes are folks I know in real life and consider very good friends #but you are both still far too cool for me so it counts

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homerofthebraves · 4 years ago

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I’m sorry this is so late, but this is my gift for the @hockeynetwork winter gift exchange! It was a lot more fluff than I originally intended, but I hope you like it @antoineroussel!

“Paaaattttyyy. Pat Patty Patty Pats. Paaaaaaaaaaatts.” Travis drawled from his upside down position on the sofa. His feet were in the air, hanging over the back of the couch, kicking idly, and his head was almost on the floor. It was surprisingly comfortable. They were finally both back in Philly, for the first time in what felt like forever, getting ready for a season. He wondered if this is what the lockout felt like a few years ago. He’d have to ask one of the older guys. He turned his head to look at Nolan, who was sitting on the couch with his legs across TK’s torso, scrolling through his phone absently. Travis could hear the sounds coming from it. Patty was 100% on TikTok like the Gen-Z trash he was.

“What.” His voice was completely flat. He didn’t even bother to look at Travis, just paused the video he was watching. Travis blinked up at him. His hair was long, like really long, to the point where he’d started tying it back with ribbons or those elastic things TK started finding all over the house. It was currently down, pushed back behind his ear. His face looked weird from this angle, and Travis could, like see the inside of his nose. His beard was gone. He complained about masks making it itchy, but Travis just thought he was struggling to grow it out. It always came in patchy anyway. Patty made a noise and nudged his foot into TK’s side impatiently.

“What do you want, asshole?” He muttered. Travis frowned. He’d actually forgotten why he wanted Patty’s attention in the first place.

“I love you.”

“Oh my god you’re the worst.” He turned back to his phone, and Travis could hear the start of that annoying Lady Gaga trend.

Travis pouted, looking up at Nolan. “You love me.”

“Asshole.”

“An asshole you’re in looooveee with.” Travis responded, turning his pout into a smirk.

Nolan pulled his legs back, reached over and shoved Travis off the couch completely, backflipping him onto the floor.

“Motherfucking OW.” Travis complained from where he was now sprawled out on the floor. “If you put me on IR, I will…” Travis trailed off because Nolan started laughing. He was laughing loud and obnoxious and holy shit was that a snort.

“Holy-shit, Teeks- your face.” Nolan got out between huffs of laughter. Travis wanted to glare. He absolutely one hundred, two hundred percent wanted to glare. But he found himself smiling instead. It had been so long since he’d heard his boyfriend laugh like that, all carefree and happy. That’s not to say Nolan hadn’t been happy, but that last year and a half had been tough on him. He waited Nolan out, watching as tears formed in his eyes before could catch his breath. He stretched his legs out and cracked his back before standing back up. “You’re lucky I’m flexible.” He muttered, but the smile on his face completely betrayed any fake anger.

“The luckiest.” Nolan smirked, pleased with himself. Travis sat down on the couch and leaned into Nolan’s side, looking over his shoulder to Nolan’s phone that was playing one of this or that videos.

“We should make one of those.” Travis gestured to the video. Nolan was watching one of his sister’s tiktoks from the summer.

Nolan turned and gave Travis a look that basically said “who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” Which like, fair. Travis had been against social media, and was vocal about his low screen time. Which was definitely off-set by the amount of time he spent playing COD with Patty. But he made fun of anything and everything to do with social media.

He shrugged in response to Nolan’s question. “Could be fun? And like, I can totally carry you piggyback.” He laughed. “Nothing serious, all like, hockey stuff? Maybe some hunting?” Travis was definitely not the type to share like, health diagnosis on the internet, but he could say whether he preferred hunting or fishing, top shelf or five hole. That sort of thing.

Nolan nodded, opening the notes app on his phone. “Believe it or not, I did learn how to make these things just from being around them so much. Just like, no dancing.”

“No dancing.” Travis agreed. He could hold his own on a dancefloor, but these tiktok dance trends were way too complicated. He’d had enough of watching Haysie try to learn the WAP dance in the bubble. The images were scarred into his brain.

Nolan was writing out an actual list of this or that for them to choose from. Shoots right or shoots left, mouthguard, yes or no, hunting or fishing. Travis had no idea this much thought had to go into this.

“Blondes or brunettes?” Nolan asked, his voice almost bored.

“Depends on the day.” Nolan rolled his eyes at that. “Cause like,” Travis continued, “sometimes your hair is blond and sometimes it's brown and it’s very confusing.”

“Stupid question. I’m throwing it out.” Nolan decided before Travis could have a full on breakdown over the color of his boyfriend’s hair.

The tiktok took over an hour to film, which Travis was not expecting when he’d suggested the idea. Nolan was determined to finish it though, and it’s not like they had anything better to do with their time. They wouldn’t be heading into training camp until after New Years, and Christmas was over. Travis’ apartment wasn’t particularly decorated, since he’d come back to the States after the holiday. They’d had to clear out some space in the hallway, which had been covered in hockey equipment and various suitcases.

They’d ended up watching more of those videos to get ideas, for their own, and Travis was ready to never hear this stupid song again.

“We should ask to film the last one at the rink.” Nolan suggested, looking at his list. They’d covered hunting, fishing, planes and buses, equipment brands, soda or water, typical stuff.| “What’s the category?” Travis asked. He was currently digging through his gear bag looking for an extra Flyers beanie for baseball caps vs toques.

“Top shelf vs five hole. Maybe it could be fun to get some of the guys involved.”

It was Travis’ turned to raise an eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

Nolan rolled his eyes in response and shrugged. “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t seen them in a while, do something with the team.” His voice was especially mumbly now. It got that way when he was feeling emotional and didn’t want anyone else to know. Travis was tempted to tease him about it, but chirping Nolan about his emotions was like skating on an edge. One movement too far, and you fall flat on your face.

Instead of chirping Nolan about it, he smiled, walked over and kissed his head. “I’ll text the group chat. Tell G to make it mandatory team bonding.” TK lowered his voice into what was honestly a horrible impression of their captain. “Everyone better be in Patty’s tiktok tomorrow or your footing the next team dinner.” But it made Nolan chuckle so that’s all that really mattered.

“You’re an idiot.” He smiled, reaching over to press a kiss to TK’s lips. Travis pressed into it, reaching up to grab at Nolan’s long hair.

“Idea.” Travis said against Nolan’s lips. “We table this tiktok shit for tomorrow and we spend the next hour making out-” he cut off as Nolan but at his lip.

“Why are you so incapable of shutting up.” He muttered, pulling Travis into his lap. And like, yeah Travis was totally on board with this.

“Alright everyone! I have an announcement.” Travis yelled to the locker room as they got dressed for practice the next day. He’d forgotten to text the group chat after getting distracted by Nolan and then his phone was dead and then he figured he’d see everyone at practice anyway.

“Did you finally propose?” Provy shouted back, throwing a roll of tape at TK’s head. Which like, rude.

“Did Patty finally propose?” Haysie countered, laughing as Nolan threw a dirty sock at his face.

“No, no ones getting married. Patty wants everyone to help him make a tiktok because he’s Gen Z trash.”

The locker room exploded in laughter and chirps.

“What’s a tiktok?”

“Will we be expected to dance?”

“I had enough of that WAP shit in the playoffs.”

Travis tuned them all out. Nolan was taking the reins now, explaining to everyone what he needed to make this. It turns out he’d already arranged it with the PR team, which explained why he was all brains, brawn and beauty in this relationship. They would be spending an extra hour after practice filming this, but it was totally worth it in Travis’ opinion. Nolan was back on the ice in Flyers orange, where he belonged. The season wouldn’t be starting for another few weeks, and if goofing around with his teammates is what Nolan needed, then Travis was going to support him. Even if it meant Haysie giving him a piggyback ride on the ice.

#hockey rpf #winter gift exchange #travis konecny #nolan patrick #pattyteeks #philadelphia flyers #my fics #hockey rpf fic #hockey #flyers

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ryqoshay · 4 years ago

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Tri-Arame: Feelings Astray

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~1.5k Rating: G Time Frame: Something like their 4th or 5th week of college Story Arc: Stand Alone

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Author’s Note: Some practice drama as well as setup for future stuff.

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“Ne, Ayumu, Setsuna-chan.” Yuu said, turning around on her piano bench. “Would you mind listening to this for me?”

“Of course.” Ayumu and Setsuna replied, practically in unison.

Yuu smiled, stood, and walked over to Ayumu to hand her a set of headphones before giving a set to Setsuna and returning to the keyboard.

The three girls had spent the bulk of the afternoon in Yuu’s room, a bit of a change from their established habit of gathering in Ayumu’s room. This was actually their third day here, as Yuu was working on composing a new piece and needed to use her keyboard. There wasn’t space to move the device to Ayumu’s room so Ayumu and Setsuna mutually decided to keep her company. As Yuu lacked a kotatsu for her guests to gather around, she let Setsuna use her desk to study and Ayumu was sitting on the couch taking a break from her own studies to play a game with Rina on her phone.

Ayumu sent a message to her gaming companion and closed the app before donning the headset. She nodded to Yuu to indicate that she was ready. The twintailed girl smiled again and turned on her bench.

After a deep breath, Yuu positioned her fingers above the keys and began to play. Music poured out of the tiny speakers into Ayumu’s ears as she leaned back and let the experience wash over her. By the gods, she loved listening to Yuu play. Ever since her childhood friend had changed her class course to music back in high school, getting to be part of the audience for small, private concerts had become one of Ayumu’s favorite pastimes. Even if the song was still a work in progress, like today.

Movement off to Yuu’s side caught Ayumu’s attention. Setsuna had sat up straighter, closed her eyes and lifted her chin. Was she…? Ayumu slid one side of her headphones off. Yes, Setsuna was indeed humming along, adding a melody atop Yuu’s piece. Did she already know the tune?

“La la la… Lalala laaa~…” Setsuna apparently was not content to merely hum and began vocalizing instead. No actual lyrics, just the sound of her voice.

And it was beautiful. The harmony was perfect. Ayumu wanted to simply sit and bear witness, but she found herself wondering if Yuu could hear Setsuna as well. She was about to stand and either try to get Yuu’s attention or discreetly move one side of her headphones off like she had done herself. But then Yuu’s hand shot up and quickly did exactly that, barely missing a note. Oh, good. Ayumu relaxed and continued to enjoy the performance.

Then, all too soon, it came to an end.

Setsuna opened her eyes as though coming out of a trance. She blinked and stiffened as she noticed that Yuu’s headphones were half off and it was obvious she had heard her. Pink began to dust her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Yuu-san!” Setsuna blurted out. “I didn’t mean to interfere! I just couldn’t help…”

“That was amazing, Setsuna-chan!” Yuu interrupted excitedly.

“Eh?”

“I hadn’t even considered adding another melody like that, but it was perfect!”

“It really was amazing.” Ayumu agreed, earning a toothy grin from Yuu and a more bashful smile from Setsuna.

“Do you think maybe you could write lyrics to this?” Yuu continued.

“Me? Lyrics?” Setsuna asked.

“Well you just came up with that lovely melody. Surely you could put some words to it, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Obviously I would be happy to help. But, hey, if we do that, maybe you could even use it as a single!”

“Oh, uhm…” Setsuna’s blush deepened. “I wouldn’t want to interfere with your schoolwork.”

“It’s fine.” Yuu assured. “The assignment is just to compose an original work, there’s nothing against turning around and letting a professional idol add lyrics and use it herself.”

“You’d really be alright with that?”

“Of course!” Yuu was practically bouncing in her seat. “It’d be like old times back in the idol club, except now Setsuna-chan is a professional idol.”

Like old times…

“I’d like that.” Setsuna’s smile became more natural as her blush began to fade. “It really is a wonderful work and it would be an honor to sing to it. Thank you, Yuu-san.”

As the two started talking about potential themes for the lyrics, Ayumu found her own thoughts drifting.

There was no doubt in Ayumu’s mind as to Setsuna’s musical prowess, specifically when it came to utilizing her voice. But still, to predict and adjust on the fly like she had just done also implied an implicit trust in Yuu and incredible knowledge about her style of composition. And that was a bond Ayumu simply did not share with Yuu. Or Setsuna for that matter.

Sure, back in high school, Ayumu had done well enough as a school idol, when it came to performing. But she was nowhere near as active as either Yuu or Setsuna when it came the creation of the songs they would sing or the choreography they would use.

Ayumu’s contributions to the club were more of general support. She helped the costume club occasionally with outfit design and creation. She often helped the baking club make snacks for the other idols. And of course, she very much enjoyed being the go-to individual for help with styling her friends’ hair before Live performances or photoshoots, particularly for those with longer hair, like Kanata, Shizuku and Setsuna.

But that often meant that she was doing something for the club other than either Yuu or Setsuna. And they were often doing something together, like when they were spearheading the efforts to organize the School Idol Festival. So, of course they would develop that sort of bond.

And nowadays, they had bonded over many other things as well. They geeked out over idols and anime, often to the point of seeming to forget Ayumu’s presence; not unlike right now. And sure, Yuu had taken to snuggling into Ayumu in bed, but Setsuna seemed to cling to Yuu with a desperation that neither did with her. Even their morning meeting on the balcony, they were more often next to one another. Who knows, the next thing they’ll bond over might end up being cooking.

Was Ayumu getting in their way?

No. That couldn’t be the case.

Both actively sought her out for drying their hair whenever they washed it. Yuu was very open about that fact that she had no desire to go to any hairstylist other than her, for cuts, dyeing or anything else. And while Setsuna hadn’t said as such out loud, her actions seemed to imply that she felt similar.

Both girls were also vocal in their gratitude for all of the cooking Ayumu did for them. And knowing how much they enjoyed her food was something in which Ayumu did take some pride. Not too much, as she knew there were far better cooks than her out in the world. But if the two people she loved most were happy with it, then that was enough to make her happy.

And then there was the fact that Yuu was quite insistent on walking to class with Ayumu, despite having a later schedule. And Setsuna always greeted her enthusiastically when she arrived home. Although she greeted Yuu the same way. And Yuu greeted Setsuna the same way as well… Perhaps that wasn’t the best example.

Even the private piano performances had started out only being for Ayumu. But then Setsuna started to join in regularly. And while Ayumu was certainly happy when the three of them were together, there started to be more and more times like now. More and more times that the other two seemed to forget Ayumu was present.

Maybe I should just move out and let them be a happy cou…

Wait, where did that thought come from?

Ayumu physically shook her head as though it might help rid herself of that thought.

“Ayumu?”

“Mm?” Ayumu blinked to find Yuu had turned her attention to her.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine. I just…”

Ayumu was interrupted by the sound of Setsuna’s stomach growling. Loudly. Yuu immediately started laughing while Setsuna’s face flushed adorably.

Ayumu held back a laugh of her own. “I suppose it is about that time.” She said, checking her phone. “I’ll go make dinner.”

“I’ll come with.” Yuu said, bouncing up from her bench.

“Oh, I’ll be fine.” Ayumu assured. “Please continue to work here if you want.”

“I’m good here for now.” Yuu shook her head. “And I need to do a few things on my laptop anyway.”

Ayumu noticed Setsuna close her own laptop and stand as well. “I’ll come as well.” The raven-haired girl said with a smile.

“Mm.” Ayumu agreed with a nod and headed for the door.

So, Ayumu and Setsuna had decided to keep Yuu company in her room. And now Yuu and Setsuna wanted to keep Ayumu company in hers. That meant they all wanted to stay together, right?

Yes. That had to be the case.

Ayumu thought to herself as she led the way back to her room. It was fine. That strange thought from before should just be forgotten.

Everything was fine.

Right…?

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Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

#YuuAyuSetsu #Takasaki Yuu #Yuki Setsuna #Uehara Ayumu #Tri-Arame #Love Live Nijigasaki #fanfic

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sun-choices · 4 years ago

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It Lives Series: A Guide For Those Who Are Bad At Horror

*ORIGINALLY POSTED ON REDDIT, I AM REPOSTING HERE*

I’m famously bad at horror. I’ve played every single Choices book and been into the app since early when it came out in 2017, but the one series I’d never dared to play was the It Lives series. I’ve been dying to play the series but the scariest thing I’ve watched is Caroline and I get nightmares from that. I’ve also got real bad anxiety, so it was a no-go for me. However, I finally sucked it up and went through both, and god damn, they do live up to their rep. There’s been posts before asking how bad it is, but I would’ve liked something with more guidance to keep the anxiety more at bay. If anyone out there has been holding off on playing, or wants to replay as safely as you can, I hope this helps you all out.This guide will contain some spoilers for those who haven't played it yet, but I’ll try to keep them at the minimum, just some of the scariest stuff. I will also talk about keeping your friends alive diamond free in ILB, a highly debated topic, so keep reading for that too.

GENERAL GUIDELINES

Use the wiki guide for both books. This is the safest way to make the safest choices, have slight but not full on spoilers, and keep your friends alive without spending diamonds willy-nilly.

Do NOT play at night, and play with your sound off. Listen to cheery music even, if you want. I found the best time to play was taking on 2 chapters in the morning, and preferably when I had something to do for the day to take my mind off it later (school, work, etc)

Do not fret when you lose nerve. You might even fail nerve checks, but that doesn’t mean its the end for you all. Follow the wiki and think about how you want to play ILB, and everything should go fine in the end.

You don’t need diamonds to keep everyone alive in both books. However, a few calculated diamond choices can help make things less scary. I’ll go more in depth for each game, but as a general guide, weapons pop up over and over a lot in both games. If you want to spend, that’s a good choice.

Play differently than you usually do if you can. I usually play as a girl in non genderlocked books, so I played as a guy here with names very different from what I’d usually choose. Its a small thing, but can help separate things in your mind.

If you ever get really scared or you want to purposely do a darker play through and something disturbs you, remember we’ve basically all played the book, and these writers at PB were really just going all out on these books.

If you want to have a chance at winning diamond free in ILB or make it easier on yourself, everyone must survive in ILITW, and you must sacrifice Noah.

IT LIVES IN THE WOODS

IMO, I found this book scarier, while the other felt more like a mystery book. This is in part due to the scary artwork. There’s a pretty bad jumpscare early in the first chapter, of a purple zombified Dan, so beware of that and perhaps keep your hand splayed over the top. Monsters will also pop up throughout the book but they’re not so bad once you’ve seem them once or twice. The mud monsters can be scary as well for some. Redfield might look a bit creepy too at times but its manageable, look away from the sprite and cover it up if its too much for you. There’s a noticeable in Chapter 9 where the walls are filled with spiders so be ready to look away if that type of thing creeps you out. The next scariest thing I’d say is at the second to last chapter when the friends play Are You Scared in the cave and reading about your friend’s deaths and seeing their bodies splayed over the screen.

Scary story spoilers if you want them: Dan will be missing and then in a coma at first, but he will be found and turn out to be okay later on. Cody will show up impaled and dead on the tree outside your house at one point. Jane is Redfield. To complete the sealing ritual, someone else must become the monster (Noah or MC).

It is easier to keep everyone alive in this book, so don’t worry too much. Try to enjoy their friendships and any LIs you romance, because one of the best parts of these books is how well written everyone is and how intricate the story is.

You can make it through the story pretty easily w/o diamonds. However, as I said before, weapons are very useful to have and they reoccur the most often, helping tone down rougher scenes. Pets are nice refreshers, so if you want to buy one, thats cool too. The lore is what I feel least necessary, and you can google them up on the wiki anyways, but whatever you choose is fine!

IT LIVES BENEATH

This book is less scary, but harder to keep everyone alive. You cannot make one wrong choice without diamonds, and even then, everyone will be alive but Parker will abandon the group and go live elsewhere. This is okay if you don’t mind, but a few calculated diamond choices can help avoid this. Save up diamonds from ILITW to do so. Play with the wiki to get every choice right. You need a group nerve score of somewhere around 289 for nobody to die, so even if you fail minor nerve checks, even those sewer checks, get it up to there by then and you should be okay.

To win without diamonds: Choose EVERY right choice, so use the wiki or replay chapters. You MUST either dance or sit with Tom (you cannot lose your finger at the nerve check or you will need diamonds to make up and keep anyone from dying). Do note, I believe Parker will abandon the group regardless if you don’t buy at least one diamond choice, but he can still stay alive and nobody will die. Alternatively, you can keep him in the group for free but someone would have to die for him.

With Minimal Diamonds: Buy Parker’s stun baton. This boosts his nerve significantly throughout the book and I believe it’ll help get him to 55/100, the amount you need for him to stay in the group. I also bought the scene where you hide with him in a closet, and his end nerve was in the 80’s, so I think you’ll be okay with just the stun baton.

Disturbing scenes and spoilers: this book doesn’t have as many jump scares like the other. The first chapter has a gruesome bloody murder scene where you find MC’s parents dead and a bloody symbol on the floor, and MC remembers this in a flashback throughout the first half of the book. Maybe some of the animals are unsettling at first but they pop up so often its not too bad. The ghost monster from the lake is unsettling too but I’d put her at the same level as Benji’s statue in the closet you find in QB. Finally, I’d say towards the end when you go from the sewer into the water and find Josephine’s skeleton with the marlinspikes in her, that’s also unsettling. If you don’t like seeing ghost sprites, you will see Josephine’s and her angry expression is creepy as well, but again, try to avoid looking or cover up the sprite and you should be alright. Finally, in the last chapter, Richard will try to murder MC by putting them in a coffin. If your nerve is high enough and you use the wiki guide for the right answers, you will survive just fine.

Optional Diamond Purchases: if you have the extra diamonds, I highly recommend buying the bracelet as it serves like a little warning before something bad/scary will happen, and gives MC a major nerve boost later on. Again, weapons are great (I wish I had bought Imogen’s Bolas to keep her nerve higher but oh well), and weapons appear REALLY often in this book so its a worthy purchase. Next I’d say some of the rune items are helpful, such as the skeleton key and Danni’s seeing stone, and ofc the bracelet, but if you had to choose, I’d say weapons before most of the runes. Pets really only pop up once after the initial purchase, but they’re sweet if you want them. As for scenes with the group/one LI, those are nice too, they give MAJOR nerve boosts and since you kinda have to be selective of how you play diamondless, if you really wanna romance someone specific its a good way to get more interaction without risking someone else through the free options, and brings the group score way up regardless.

I hope this guide is useful to some of you, and if I’ve forgotten anything or you have questions, feel free to add on. This is a horror based series and I totally respect and understand anyone who wishes to play it as such and doesn’t mind characters dying, however the plot is so damn good, the friend groups are A+, and I figured I would’ve liked a guide like this when I played. Good luck everyone!

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #it lives anthology #it lives series #ilitw #ilb #pixelberry #parker #danni #imogen #tom #ava #noah #andy kang #lily #stacey #lucas #redfield #josephine vance

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kirishwima · 5 years ago

Note

For scenarios... could I request rfa accidentally meeting MC before the party? no drama like "there's a bomb so I gotta run to your place" they just accidentally meet somewhere and MC recognises them from the pictures in the chatrooms and goes to greet them. Rika's apartment can't be far away from where the others live so it should be impossible. (if you can find a way to squeeze in V that's okay but you don't have to)

i really liked this idea! hope i executed it well ^^

YOOSUNG:

MC and he were actually studying at the same university, but different subjects!

They had a common elective course of modern history though, one that Yoosung’s friends convinced him to take with them since they could share notes, and MC simply had an interest in it, and well, needed the extra credits

Neither of them really noticed each other at first-it’s a big classroom and it’s in the afternoons, so oftentimes Yoosung just skipped lmao

Once though Yoosung’s friends couldn’t make it to the class so he offered to go and take notes for the day, and rushed into the class a little late, so he took the first seat available-right next to MC

He struggled to both write and listen to the professor at the same time, and eventually he got a little behind with his notes. MC noticed his cute frustrated face and shared their notes with him, tapping him on the shoulder as they quietly pushed their papers to him

Yoosung’s happy face was stuck in MC’s mind-he wore his feelings on his sleeve and it was so refreshing to see someone this innocent at this day and age.

They became fast friends afterwards-exchanging facebook accounts and talking via messenger often, sometimes about the class, sometimes about anything and everything else

They even had study sessions to help each other study!

Near the end of the semester, and right when this extra class ended, is when MC stumbled upon the RFA messenger-and one look at Yoosung’s name along with his shooting star emoji got them excited to realise there’s a familiar face amongst this strangeness

The rest of the members found their friendship cute, and Zen constantly tried to play match-maker for the two, telling Yoosung that ‘he should’ve told the RFA he has such a cute girlfriend’ lmao

(*cue Yoosung flushing redder than Seven’s hair*)

ZEN:

No, contrary to what you might think, MC wasn’t his fan-they did however hear about Zen through friends interested in musicals, and agreed he was handsome

No, instead, they met him whilst helping out a friend who was working backstage at one of Zen’s shows-they needed help finishing up painting of some background sets, and MC offered to help them in their free time, and as a return their friend offered MC tickets to the show

Zen met MC whilst rehearsing-he knew MC’s friend and went over to say hi, and met MC, who he of course instantly tried to flirt with, even though he was half-kidding about it

Well, flirtatious nature aside, the two really hit it off, and became good friends-not that they were super close or anything, but Zen would stop and chat with MC after rehearsals, and he invited MC out along with the rest of the crew after the first successful run of the show

He didn’t exchange any social media accounts with MC, because quite frankly, he doesn’t have any lmao, and MC’s phone was broken so they couldn’t give him their number either

Zen insisted that if they leave it up to fate, they’ll meet again, and well-he was right

Lo and behold, MC joined the RFA, and whose face is the first they see in an oh-so-modest selfie?

Yup, Zen the Knight it is

His first words when he realised who MC was were ’See? I told you fate would find a way!’

Sure Zen,,,sure lol

JUMIN:

MC actually scored an interview as Jumin’s executive secretary!

They were so thrilled about it, and did their best to calm their nerves before the interview, knowing that being jittery and anxious would lead them nowhere

Well, they were more than shocked at Jumin’s cold behaviour, but they did their best to match his pace, answering each of his questions without missing a beat, mentioning their credentials without bragging about them

Honestly, Jumin was very pleased-he saw a perfect candidate across him, albeit a little inexperienced due to age, but that didn’t really matter to him-with a little training they’d be perfect for the job

Well, eventually though a better candidate came along, so MC was left with the rejection e-mail in their inbox, disappointed but ready to move on

They had all but forgotten about Jumin Han until stumbling onto the RFA and meeting him again, confused and surprised at the difference of his character in the chatrooms

They didn’t mention the interview at all, but Jumin has the memory of an elephant-one look at MC’s name reminded him of how he met them, and he reassured them that they were incredibly good at the interview and left an impression on him

It takes some getting used to his different attitude, but it’s refreshing to see a man they thought of as cold and calculated be a complete cat-loving goof-and it’s honestly one of the things that makes MC fall for Jumin

And vice-versa, Jumin remembers MC’s serious confident attitude at the interview, and is pleasantly surprised to learn what a gentle, kind person they are in the messenger

When they meet Jaehee though….boy are they glad they didn’t get the job lmao

*pat pat* it’s okay Jaehee…hang in there baby

JAEHEE:

MC was working part-time as a barista at a coffee shop near C&R!

It was a small independent shop, hidden in-between bigger franchises, but their coffee was great, and if there’s one person that loves good coffee, well, it’s Jaehee

The first time she visited the shop she was at a loss of what to order, the possibilities endless with all these brews of coffee they offered, and MC found Jahee’s flustered face adorable

They chatted her up to see what kind of flavours she likes and dislikes, and ended up making her a delicious cold brew with vanilla cream-just sweet enough to give her that sugar rush she needed, but not enough to hide the flavour of the coffee itself

Well, Jaehee was more than thrilled both at the taste, and at the cute cashier *wink wonk*, so she quickly became a regular at the shop

Yes this is your good ol’ cliche coffee AU DON’T JUDGE ME

She’d always stop for a cup of coffee before work, and would secretly be happy on the days she ended up meeting MC during their shift-she’d try and visit during her breaks too, when time would allow it, and would sit and sometimes chat with MC when the cafe wasn’t too busy

MC eventually learnt some stuff about Jaehee, that she works as a secretary to some annoying cat-loving rich dude (lmao sorry Jumin), that she loves coffee, and that her dream is to eventually open her own cafe, if circumstances allow it

One day, Jaehee went to the shop, knowing that MC had a shift at that time, but they were nowhere to be found-their co-workers said MC called in that they can’t make it today because something urgent came up, so Jahee nodded along, wondering if MC was okay

….well, she didn’t have to worry for too long, as not soon after she got her coffee and headed back to the office, a familiar name popped up on the RFA chatroom

Yup, this is a coffee shop au alright-just with some hacker and cat-loving twists lol

SEVEN:

You can never convince me that this boy is not an active reddit user, and you most definitely can Not convince me he isn’t in any and all paranormal and horror forums either

So he’s scrolling around on reddit one day, posting memes and trolling people, when he stumbles upon a really interesting thread someone made about the origins of mothman and possible sightings outside the USA

He’s hooked and spends a lot of time reading through the thread, intrigued by the sophisticated way the OP wrote their points and how well-thought of their evidences were

He started commenting on the thread and talking with the OP, who he soon became online friends with-he loved to chat with them about spooky stuff, cryptids, conspiracy theories and so forth

He didn’t talk much about himself, and would sometimes even make up some lies because he didn’t want to seem like a creep that won’t even share his name, but he couldn’t give out his info that easily; he did however tell them his code name, 707

Eventually they started talking outside of reddit too, through facebook messenger (i mean…we already know this dude has a facebook account and posts his cars there lmao), and is thrilled to find out more about his new online friend, MC, and to even find out they live far closer than he thought!

Well, he gets used to talking with MC almost everyday, and it’s actually one of the few highlights of his day-he’s never really had someone care for him the way this person, someone he hasn’t actually ever met in real life does. He wonders if they’d change their mind about him if they ever met him in real life, but shakes the thoughts away-it’s not as if this could ever develop into something more than an online friendship anyway

Well…or so you thought, Seven lol

When a stranger comes barging into the RFA messenger, he’s instantly tracing their steps and finding out all their internet activities, and lo and behold-whose facebook account is this that he ended up finding? Why, it’s none other than MC!

The moment Seven found out, he got suspicious; was MC just pretending to be online friends with him to hack into the RFA? Were they stealing information without him knowing?

It hurt to have to think this way, but how else could they be linked?

When he slowly found out MC was actually innocent, he was more than relieved-he secretly happy that he could now chat with them both online and on the RFA app, that he could share parts of himself with MC that he couldn’t before

to say he fell for them is the understatement of the century lmao

V/JIHYUN:

When he first started with photography, he took some classes at a local university to learn more about professional photography, photoshop e.t.c

And MC happened to be taking the same classes as him!

They often sat next to each other, not talking at first, but then their professors would sometimes ask them to pair up to work on assignments, and MC ended up paring up with Jihyun more than once

They became fast friends-Jihyun was a little distant, but always friendly in a cold, aloof way, and always polite, and he found MC to be so warm and gentle, he was naturally drawn to them

He did feel attracted to them, but never made a move-he was still struggling with so many things himself, he didn’t want to drag anyone else into his mess. He just wanted to focus on photography and that’s that

So whilst they talked a lot during university, as soon as they graduated, V drifted away, and when he even changed his phone number all communication was lost between the two

Well, time went on, and MC slowly began to forgot about the mint-coloured man they met, until they stumbled into the RFA chatroom

They didn’t realise it was Jihyun at first-he did change his name after all, and everyone in the char referred to him as V, but the way he texted was very familiar, even though MC couldn’t quite understand why

When he finally introduced himself, they were stunned. They didn’t want to ask him if he remembers them though-it’d be too embarrassing if he said he didn’t

But of course V did remember them-the moment Seven told him their name after his background check, all the memories came flooding back, opening up a Pandora’s box in his chest where he locked all those feelings away

Even if they’re back within arms’ reach, and even if they seem interested in him though…it’s useless. He’s far beyond repair, and if he didn’t want to drag MC into his mess then, he most certainly doesn’t want to drag them into it now

So he becomes distant again, more so than ever before but MC isn’t having it-they call him out on his bullshit, and tell him to square up and be honest otherwise they’re leaving

So V reluctantly admits to it all-to remembering MC, to his feelings towards them, and to his own cowardliness back then, and how it’s now too late to change anything; even if he wants to. God, he wants to.

hi I’m soph and i love to torture my favs lol

-send me a mystic messenger scenario/prompt for character reactions!-

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pickalilywrites · 5 years ago

Text

i’m a bit late in posting this on tumblr, but here you go~ i hope you guys enjoy it until the end ^^ thank you for reading!

Can You Please Stay With Me?

Rivetra. Modern AU.

Can You Please Stay With Me? Series | i | ii

4510 words.

Buy me a ko-fi! or read on AO3!

Petra stares out the window of her office, looking at the clouds of gray. It’s cold and dull and gloomy, although not so different from the weather in the city she had left behind. She thinks. Now that she thinks about it, she’s not that sure what the weather was like in Shiganshina. She wants to say that it was the same, but she can’t remember the last time she had pulled out an umbrella before she came to Manchester. In all the memories she has of Shiganshina, she can remember clear blue skies and the sun peeking out behind skyscrapers, its light almost blinding, but that seems so long ago. Hadn’t it rained sometime in her last month there? It must have at least once or twice, she thinks, because how else would she be so familiar and unbothered by all this rain?

With a frown, Petra pulls out her phone, tapping on the Instagram app and flipping through her profile. Her most recent photos, taken over a month ago, show the cityscape and beautiful weather - not a cloud in the sky. She flips through more: a photo of flowers blooming on a gorgeous spring day in the park, her rubbing a dog’s belly as it rolled around in the grass, her with an ice cream in hand. And her and Levi, sunglasses over his eyes and that perpetual scowl on his face.

Petra slams her phone facedown on the table and buries her head in her hands. She should probably delete those photos from her phone, but she can’t bring herself to. She thought it would be fine to just keep them there just so long as she didn’t look at them, and she had done a pretty good job of that until now. Before, it had only been a couple of glances here and there. She wanted to see how much it would affect her, if seeing her ex-boyfriend’s face would ameliorate the throbbing in her chest. (It didn’t.) Eventually, Petra turned off the notifications on all her social media apps and only used her phone for the essentials - phone calls, text messages, and emails. It’s worked well for the most part, and she thought the distance would allow her to get better in time. Then again, the deep knife she felt in her chest just from a brief glance of her old boyfriend is probably a sign that she’s not doing as well as she thought she was.

There’s a knock on her door - three short raps - and Petra looks up to see her coworker Anka at the door. Anka, meeting Petra’s eyes, flashes her a smile and lifts her hands up to show that they’re full of files and a plate full of pastries. She raises her eyebrows and mouths a bit apologetically, “Door?”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t notice you earlier,” Petra says as she opens the door, a bit frazzled. For a brief second, she wonders if she’s forgotten to go to a meeting, but Anka merely laughs her off.

“Don’t worry about it,” Anka says. The woman sets down the files on Petra’s desk, placing the plate of desserts on top of it. She collapses onto the extra seat Petra keeps in her office and yawns. “Ah, I noticed you weren’t looking too well today, so I decided to grab you a few snacks from the break room. I was going to get some coffee too, but the last time I tried something like that I spilled it all over my trousers. I swear there’s still a stain on it even though I’ve washed it out half a dozen times, but Mitabi tells me he can hardly see a difference from how it was before.”

“Ah, thank you,” Petra says. She takes a lemon square without much thought, regretting immediately after the first bite. How can something taste so intensely sweet and tart at the same time? She wishes, for a brief moment, that Anka had brought the coffee too, but the thought makes her feel ungrateful so she swallows down the tangy pastry and mumbles a quick “delicious!” between gritted teeth.

Anka gives her friend a sympathetic smile and pats Petra’s hand kindly. “The bakery never quite gets lemon squares right. Or maybe you need to be in a certain type of mood to enjoy them. Pixis adores them, but he’s quite batty at times,” Anka says, and she speaks about their employer with such affection in her voice that even Petra manages a smile. Anka reaches for a pastry horn that’s dusted in sugar and stuffed to the brim with custard cream. “Here, try this one instead.”

“I’m not sure-” Petra begins, but Anka is already shoving the pastry into Petra’s open mouth leaving her no choice but to eat it. Anka is right - it’s much better than the lemon square was. The shell of the pastry is crisp and buttery, and the custard cream is so rich and velvety in comparison. She should ask Anka for the name of the bakery so that she can visit it sometime, do some exploring around Manchester like she had meant to do when she first arrived, but for some reason, it slips her mind. “Ah, it’s good,” Petra finally says.

“Good, eat another one,” Anka commands. She doesn’t stop watching Petra until she sees the ginger reach for another puff pastry horn. Anka picks out a small tart - it’s probably only two inches wide but it’s filled with a fragrant pink jam and has berries piled on top - and takes a delicate bite. “I thought it might do you good. You’ve been glum for a while now. I’m thinking it might be the weather. A lot of people who move here get like that once they come to Manchester because it’s so gloomy all the time. They call it … SAD? Seasonal affective disorder or something.”

“SAD?” Petra repeats. It’s difficult for her to process all of the words coming out of Anka’s mouth. For some reason, she feels unbearably exhausted and wants nothing more than to go home and sleep bundled under all her blankets. She would blame it on the time of day or the week ending, but it’s Tuesday morning and she really has no excuse. When she realizes that Anka is still watching her, Petra hastily shakes her head. “Ah, no … I think I’m still adjusting to life here. It’s a little lonely, I guess, moving so far away.”

“Mmm, homesickness,” Anka says with a knowing nod. She leans over Petra’s desk, resting an elbow on it. “That’s pretty common, too. Do you talk to anyone back home? Video call or just on the phone?”

No. She’s only talked to her father since she’s landed in Manchester. If a notification on her phone popped up from someone else, she would swipe it away, disappointed that it wasn’t who she wanted it to be. Petra had sworn that she would get to them later. It’s just that flying overseas, moving in, and getting adjusted to her new job left her with very little energy to respond to messages. But then a night went by and then a few days and now it’s been a week and a half since she’s received those messages. Her friends probably think she’s dead or at the very least ignoring them. God, she’s terrible.

“I can never find the time,” Petra says with a rueful smile.

“Then take time off,” Anka says easily with a wave of her hand. “Oops.” She frowns when a smidge of powdered sugar lands on her pantsuit and begins to hastily swipe away at it.

“Time off? I just came two weeks ago. It wouldn’t look good to take a vacation so soon even if it’s only for a day,” Petra says. She offers Anka a tissue although she doesn’t think it’ll help much.

“You came into work the day after your plane landed. People usually give themselves at least a week to settle in before coming into work.” Anka rubs at her trousers with the tissue but it hardly does anything aside from rub the sugar deeper into the fabric. She sighs and stuffs the rest of the tart in her mouth. Holding a hand over her mouth, Anka says, “At least just take the rest of this day off. You really look like you need it, and nothing makes Pixis unhappier than overworked employees.”

“Really?” Petra says, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, he doesn’t like it when I swipe all the sweets from the break room either, but he eats more of these than he should. And he doesn’t know I’m the one that takes these anyway.” Anka wipes her fingers on the tissue before disposing of it in the trash can sitting beside Petra’s desk. She gets up, straightening out her suit, and then looks at Petra. “Now, come on. I’ll see to it that you leave before you tire yourself out working. I swear Pixis won’t mind. And I’ll give Gelgar your work to do, so don’t worry about that one bit.”

Both of Petra’s eyebrows are raised this time but Anka waves her off.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’ll give him the rest of the pastries too.” Anka grabs the plate of pastries and the folders that she had originally meant to give to Petra. She smacks her lips when she looks at the leftover goods. “Ah, yes. Plenty of lemon squares leftover. He won’t be able to resist.”

Although she tries not to, Petra still giggles when Anka gives her a roguish wink.

It’s much less funny when Petra’s outside of the office building, walking along the streets of Manchester wondering why on earth she agreed to take a half-day. She could traverse the city, perhaps seek out a cute trinket shop and buy something adorably useless for Anka as a thank you. Maybe she should go exploring to find that pastry shop, the one with the delicious custard cream horns. Petra could even just visit the tourist attractions, like the lovely canal she’s heard about in Castlefield or that lovely cathedral near the Irwell river that she’s passed by a half dozen times but has never bothered to actually venture into. But she always finds some reason or other not to go to each of these places. Anka probably doesn’t want something impractical as a gift and Petra doesn’t need more knick-knacks crowding her apartment when she hasn’t even unpacked her luggage yet. Finding the pastry shop is a bad idea since she’s just stuffed herself with desserts not even fifteen minutes ago. And the others … well, she’s not quite in the mood for sightseeing and she’s met enough locals to know that tourists are a bit of a nuisance in Manchester. She knows these are all excuses. This only leaves her with two options: go straight home and mope in her apartment among her boxes of unopened belongings or wander aimlessly around the city.

Petra hates her apartment. Well, it’s a bit too soon to say whether she hates her apartment or not, but she knows she already dislikes being there. She’s eaten out at restaurants for dinner every night since she’s arrived, saying that she didn’t want to dirty up the kitchen before she finished unpacking. Really, she’s only made her bed (i.e. tossed all of her blankets and pillows onto the bed) and thrown all of her clothes in the closet. The rest of her things sit in luggage cases or boxes that she’s temporarily using as furniture, although it might soon be permanent if she doesn’t start unpacking. Petra blames it on the sudden wave of exhaustion she always feels when she gets home and sees all of her belongings waiting to be unpacked, but she knows it’s not the real reason. It’s just that she can’t fathom the idea of all of her things being put in their proper place and calling this apartment her new home. It would feel empty. It would feel wrong. And that’s the problem, really.

Petra had attempted to unpack her things the first night, but she found it was impossible. She only opened one box before she wondered how she could possibly arrange all of her belongings while still making sure that Levi still had space for his home office. The cold realization that she wouldn’t have to worry about that hit her a second too soon and she quickly shut the box. She never thought to unpack since then except only to tell herself that she would do it later even though she knew she never would.

It’s no use thinking about this, Petra tells herself, shaking her head. Others pass by her, watching as she breaks down internally, but Petra ignores them. She thinks about other things. Like how absolutely freezing it is even though she has a million layers on. It’s not raining or snowing. It’s just dreary and glum. What is that Anka said again? Seasonal affective disorder? Ah, that might be it, but Petra has a feeling that she’d still feel terrible even if the clouds parted and the sun began to shine.

Maybe it’s best to occupy her mind some other way. She can count imaginary sheep. She can count the windows from every shop she passes by. She can count clouds; there are so many today. She settles on counting her steps instead, watching her feet as she does so, but thoughts of Levi interrupt her between each count.

One. Levi’s hair, a dark black like spilled ink. Two. Levi’s eyes, always narrowed and a stormy gray. Three. Levi’s brow, thin and furrowed, making it seem as if he’s perpetually displeased. Four. Levi’s nose, the curve of its bridge and its rounded tip. Five. Levi’s mouth, constantly set in a thin line. Six. Levi’s rare smile, the small upturn of it almost imperceptible but most definitely there upon a second glance. Seven. Levi’s shoulder, unexpectedly broad for someone of his stature, but perfect for leaning on after a long day. Eight. Levi’s arms, strong and sturdy, holding her tight. Nine. Levi’s chest, his heart thumping against his ribcage as Petra leaned back against him. Ten. Levi’s hands, his fingers intertwining with hers as they sat together on the couch, mindlessly watching another sitcom they’ve watched a dozen times before.

Petra can’t tell if she feels better or worse remembering him. If she has to say, she supposes it’s about the same except remembering him is far more effortless than forgetting him will ever be. Levi’s not someone she can erase from her mind with a flip of a switch. Forgetting someone should happen naturally, the distance allowing the memories to fade over time, but is Levi someone she can ever really forget? Every detail of him is imprinted in her mind, and to take it all away would leave her feeling emptier than she feels now. Is it the same for him too? She had always assumed that it would be hardest for the person left behind, although she can’t say for certain who is who.

He left you in the end, remember? He was the one who let you go, Petra reminds herself, but that doesn’t sound quite right. Maybe she should have said something to convince him to come with her, or maybe he should have tried harder to make her stay. If they had tried more, would it hurt less? She tries to remember that last night they had seen each other. Levi had told her he was leaving as casually as someone would talk about the weather, and she watched him go. He didn’t even cast her one last glance before he left. She should be remembering those details - how he had packed all of his things without her knowing, how he spoke to her with such indifference, and how he had left so easily - but she doesn’t. Instead, another memory slips into her mind.

It was a week after Petra had landed in Manchester and she had just gotten off a call with her father. Even now, she can’t quite recall what they talked about. It was probably something about the weather or maybe about how much they missed each other. Her thoughts were elsewhere, though. She was thinking about Manchester and how the bustling city, one of the largest in England, felt so lonely. Shiganshina was a big city too, but it never felt as lonely as Manchester. For a brief second, she thought of phoning a friend. Maybe it would help to hear a familiar voice. Maybe it would help to hear Levi’s voice. Maybe it would help to hear him say that he misses her too.

No, Petra thought with a shake of her head. It would be a step back from all the progress she had made after moving here even if she felt as if she was still holding on. And yet she still couldn’t stop herself from staring at her phone screen, her finger hovering over Levi’s contact because she had never been able to erase him from her phone. She nearly dropped her phone when it began ringing, Levi’s name flashing across the screen.

Her first instinct is to accept the call, her thumb ready to swipe at her screen, but she hesitates at the last moment. There wasn’t any reason for Levi to be calling her. There was no reason for her to pick up. They've already parted ways. If he was calling her, it must be a mistake, she thought, because Levi wasn’t petty enough to call her back and demand any of his belongings that might have gotten lost during the move. She wondered if she should hang up now or let it go straight to her voicemail. After all, he just called her by mistake.

But what if he didn’t? Petra wanted to ignore the nagging voice in her head, but the more she tried the louder it became. Impulsively, she swiped at her phone and held it up to her cheek. “Levi?” she asked, breathless.

There were no words on the other side. She heard the wind as it brushed by. She could hear the rush of city life in the distance. She could hear someone breathing steadily on the other side. But there were no words. And, yet, she somehow knew it was Levi from the way he breathed. It was too familiar for her to not know.

“Levi,” she said, but again he said nothing. It seemed odd for him to call her by mistake and not say anything - not even to apologize or tell her that he hadn’t meant to dial her number - so he must have called her for a reason. But if he called her for a reason … why wasn’t he speaking? Worried, she asked, “Are you alright?”

Again, there was no answer. There was just the sound of Levi’s breathing, in and out and in and out. Petra had always liked the rhythm of his breathing, slow and steady. She would listen to it as she fell asleep. Even now it was soothing despite the circumstances. They stayed like that for a moment, just listening to each other breathe, but it ends with a sudden click and Petra was forced to face the fact that she was alone once more.

It’s been a week since then, and Petra still doesn’t know what to make of that call. More than once she’s thought of calling Levi back and asking him about it, usually at night when he’s the only thing on her mind. She’s never gone through with it though. If it really had been a mistake, then it explains why Levi didn't call her back after that first time. Even if she were to call him up just to clarify, she would only end up looking like a fool for waiting so long just to make sure. Instead, she spends the night staring at her phone screen, turning it on and off every now and again just to check, and wishes for Levi to call her again even though she knows she shouldn’t.

Petra glances down at her phone once more just as it begins to buzz. It startles Petra, nearly making her drop her phone again, but she sees that it’s only Anka calling. Catching her breath, Petra stops at the bridge she was about to cross, leaning against the railing. She feels the strangest mixture of disappointment and relief as she picks up.

“Hi, Anka,” Petra says. She looks out across the river, watching the boats pass by. Her fingers fiddle with the buttons on her coat. “Is everything alright?”

“Ah, yeah,” Anka says, but she sounds distracted. After a moment, Anka says, “Someone came into the office just now and asked to see you. He said he knew you from back in Shiganshina. Levi? I told him you already left, but I didn’t know if he was someone you wanted to see so I didn’t tell him anything else.”

Petra can feel her heartbeat begin to pick up speed and she clutches at her chest with a hand. “Levi?” she asks. She pushes herself off the railing, her feet already carrying her where she needs to go. “Did he leave already?”

“Yeah. He mumbled an apology and left, but he didn’t say where he was going,” Anka replies. “He left a few minutes ago, but I’m not sure how far away he is from the office now.”

She’s jogging now, but Petra knows that she’ll be sprinting soon. “I’ll call you later. I have to do something,” Petra tells Anka, already pocketing the phone as she hangs up. In the hour since she’s left work, she’s probably walked three, possibly even four, miles across the city. Petra’s not sure how she has the energy to run back towards her workplace, but she won’t question it. As long as she gets to where she wants to go as quickly as possible, that’s all she really cares about.

It takes a certain madness to run across a city, but Petra’s been losing her mind for the past two weeks and this breakdown is long overdue. She ignores puzzled looks from the people she runs past, excusing herself hurriedly when she finds herself pushing past a few of them when she hits a crowd. The back of her heels dig at her ankles and she knows she’ll be looking at blisters and cuts later tonight, but she clenches her jaw and runs anyway. The city becomes a blur the faster Petra runs, and she can feel her legs burning with every step she takes but she can’t seem to stop. She doesn’t know what would happen if she were to stop running, but she’s scared to find out. She can’t remember the last time she’s run this fast. Even when she was a teenager Petra hadn’t been able to run this quickly. Then again, she’s never really had anything worth running towards.

She’s not sure when she stops, leaning against a railing by the river to catch her breath. Her heels have cut through her stockings and into her heels. She doesn’t have to check to see if they’re bleeding. Frustrated, Petra kicks them off even though she knows she’ll regret it later. Petra grabs onto the railing with one hand, panting heavily. It’s so stupid for her to think that she could have run that way. She’s only been running for ten minutes and she couldn’t have crossed more than a mile in that time. Maybe she really is crazy.

Still huffing, Petra pulls her phone out of her pocket. In all the madness, she hadn’t thought of trying to call Levi. It makes far more sense than running across a city only to find that he’s already gone. Hell, he might have gone already, moved on after being told she had left work early as if she had anticipated his arrival and left on purpose, but they’ve avoided each other enough. Petra thinks it’s about time they’ve talked.

Petra calls Levi, holding her breath as she holds the phone up to her ear to listen to the dull ring as she waits for him to pick up. She counts the seconds as she waits, hoping to distract herself, but she can’t even remember what comes after one. Instead, she waits anxiously, her free hand gripping at her coat as she waits. The spaces between each ring seem to take longer and longer, and Petra can feel her heart sink with every passing second. It’s almost about the last ring when she hears a voice calling her name.

“Petra?”

She looks at her phone, confused when she sees that Levi has still not picked up. For a second, she thinks she had just imagined Levi’s voice, but it’s too vivid for her to have conjured up on her own.

“Petra!”

Her head snaps up, looking towards where she had heard the voice this time. It’s so surreal seeing Levi running towards her, almost as out of breath as she is. As he comes closer, she hears Levi’s familiar ringtone - one of the generic ones that were programmed into the phone because Levi could never be bothered to change it - and she hears her own call going to voicemail. Petra swipes her phone with her thumb, hanging up, and drops her phone in her pocket.

“Levi,” she says slowly. She steps towards him tentatively, unsure if this is all real or if she’s finally cracked. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry I’m late,” Levi says quietly, voice breaking slightly. He steps toward her, and Petra sees that he looks the same as ever. The bags under his eyes are a little bit darker, his hair is a mess like he had forgotten to comb it, and his face is a little thinner, but there’s that same smile on his face when he sees her, the corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.

Petra’s lip trembles and she can feel tears coming. “I missed you,” she says as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

Levi reaches his hands out, holding hers. “I know. I missed you too.” He pulls her in and wraps his arms tightly around her. He lets her sob into his coat and he reaches up to stroke her hair with his hand. “I’m sorry I took so long. I had to say goodbye to some people.”

“That’s good,” Petra mumbles into the wool of his coat. She’s happy, she really is, even as she’s crying. “Levi, that’s so good.”

They should probably talk more - about Levi’s sudden arrival, about where he’s going to stay, about whether or not they’re going to be okay - but that can wait. For the first time in a long time, Petra no longer feels empty. She no longer feels alone. For the first time in a long time, Petra feels as if she’s come home.

#rivetra #petra ral #levi ackerman #can you please stay with me series #modern au #ahhh i'm so hungry

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aeneidpdf · 5 years ago

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big sky country

chapter: 3/?

word count: 4.3k+

summary: they set out for Niagara Falls, and stop for lunch at Becket Quarry.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394804/chapters/59282086

They got through the checkout line quickly, and then they were back in the van- Pete in the back, Ray and Art in the middle seats, and Abraham and Collie up front. Abraham fiddled with his phone, pulling up the directions to Niagara Falls while Collie popped in the first of the Johnny Cash CDs that Pete had bought.

It was the American IV: The Man Comes Around album. Johnny Cash’s voice came over the speakers, saying: "And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying, 'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a white horse."

“Great,” Abraham said. “A song about judgement day to start our trip. That’s not a bad sign at all.”

“It’s just a song,” Ray said.

“Ray’s right,” Pete added, lazing in the back row. “No need to worry yourself, Abe. Geez, good thing it wasn’t God’s Gonna Cut You Down or we never would’ve gotten this thing off the ground.”

In the side mirror, Art could see a hint of a grimace on Abraham’s face, but Collie was laughing and asking him to start the directions. Over top of the music, came the canned voice of the maps app: “Turn right to merge onto Maine Turnpike toward I-95. In 55 miles, keep left on I-95 South.”

Collie whistled low through his teeth. “Shit. Fifty-five miles.”

“Better get a move on!” It was Pete, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Lot more where that came from.”

Collie didn’t answer that, and they pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto the Maine Turnpike. Art didn’t quite know what he thought about the song, but he felt like he was on Abraham’s side. He didn’t practice much now, but he was raised Baptist, and his family had been heavily involved in the church down home in Louisiana, until they moved. They’d found a new church when they moved up to Maine. Art had been baptized in Highland Lake, just a thirty minute drive out of Portland, when he was eleven.

He had stood in the water that came up nearly to his armpits, his clothing floating loose around him and the marshy bottom of the lake swirling and tugging at his feet. It was a bright hot day in early May, but the water was cold, and the look in the minister’s eyes was serious. Art had been scared then. He wanted to turn tail and run back to his mother. But his mother and father and aunt and uncle were watching with bated breath, and his siblings were waiting on the shore, their shoes and socks shucked off and tossed aside. They were watching him too, and waiting for their turn. He was the oldest now; he had to be brave.

Art had then been dunked under the water and he resisted the urge to thrash against the strong hands that held him. The lake water wrapped around him and engulfed him like a coffin. He was drowning. He had forgotten to take a breath before the minister submerged him, and now he was drowning. He thought of another body, rotting in standing water, and bubbles expelled from his mouth in a mad burst as he let out a soundless scream. Finally, he was hauled up by the collar of his starched white dress shirt, and he came up breathless and temporarily blinded by the sun, while his mother cheered hysterically on the shore.

Thinking of it now still made him feel like he was going to be sick.

Even more than religion though, his life was ruled by superstition.

Superstitions were as sure as summer storms and waves of summer heat rising up from the cracked and melted asphalt. The whole south was steeped in superstition, and the Baker family was no exception. Superstition worked its way into the practices and customs of every season. On New Year’s, they ate black-eyed peas and collard greens for good luck and money. In fact, that was what they ate nearly all year round, because that was what they could afford.

The Baker children went around town with dimes strung around their necks to ward off the devil, and whenever his mother opened a new loaf of bread, she threw the first end slice in the garbage. “To keep money comin’ our way,” she explained when Art asked about it. Art watched, forlorn and hungry, as she tossed the bread into the garbage. Money never seemed to come their way.

In the summer, when the alligators came out of hibernation and the humidity floated off the wetlands and settled heavily over everything, Art was warned about alligators climbing out of the bayou and slithering under his house. Those meant there would be a death in the family soon. Art always took the stairs up and down the porch two at a time, frantic to get away from the monster hiding under the house, waiting for the perfect moment to snap at his ankles and drag him under.

There weren’t any alligators in Maine, but Art still sometimes dreamed of one, lying in wait for him, red eyes glowing out of the darkness. He shuddered imperceptibly at the thought.

Would a song ruin their whole trip? No, but a part of him still felt apprehensive.

Outside the window, South Portland disappeared, and they were on the Maine Turnpike, heading south. The song had changed, and Hurt was playing now. Over the van’s speaker system, Johnny Cash’s voice sang: “What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end.” The guitar melody built behind his voice in a way that made Art’s chest tighten. It rose in a crescendo and then disappeared as the next verse began.

“Have any of you heard the original of this song?” Ray asked.

From behind them, Pete answered, “Yeah. Nine Inch Nails. It’s good, but, you know, it’s not this.”

“I’d be fucking pissed if I wrote a song and then found out Johnny Cash did a cover of it,” Collie said.

Abraham laughed in the passenger seat. “Of course you’d be pissed.”

“Well, yeah! You write a song about some personal shit, and then Johnny Cash comes along and sings it and makes it a hundred times better. How would you feel?”

He thought for a moment and shrugged. “Shit, yeah. I guess I’d be kinda mad too.”

“You guys are thinking about it the wrong way,” Art said. “Imagine getting a call that Johnny Cash wants to record your song? That’d be exciting. That’d be an honor.”

He could see Collie looking at him in the rearview mirror, his eyes creased with his smile. “I guess that’s right.” It made Art smile too, and duck his head.

“It’s a good thing you’re on this thing with us, Art,” Abraham said, twisting around in his seat to face him. “It’s a good thing at least one of us isn’t an asshole.”

“Hey!” Pete protested. “Ray’s not an asshole.”

Ray snorted, and said, “Thanks, Pete.” Abraham twisted back around in his seat. The song changed. Art looked back out the window.

///

In a half hour, approximately forty miles into their journey, they passed a sign saying that there was a toll plaza in four miles.

“Alright,” Collie said, turning the music down a few notches. “Who brought cash for tolls?” Silence answered him. Art had completely forgotten that they’d even need to pay tolls. “Jesus, nobody?”

“There’s a rest stop coming up on the right,” Abraham told him, reading the road signs as they zoomed past. “There’ll be an ATM there. We can take some cash out there.”

A couple miles down the road and they pulled into the rest stop. The parking lot was mostly empty as they all piled out of the minivan. The rest stop was a small building with a dramatically slanting roof and the front was mostly covered over with windows. Out front was a Smokey the Bear statue with a sign next to him proclaiming the fire danger in the area for today. The risk was low.

“I say we each take out $20,” Abraham suggested. “That should be good to start out, right?”

“I think so,” Ray said, looking like he was deep in thought. “After this, we’ve got a toll to get on the New Hampshire turnpike, and a shitton of them in Massachusetts. Once we’re west of New York, I have no clue.”

“Geez, you’re like a walking road map,” Pete said admiringly. Ray ducked his head. “We can spend whatever leftover cash we have on food and stuff.”

The group turned and headed towards the rest stop. Art followed, but Collie caught his arm and held him back. Art looked down at the hand and then into his friend’s face. Collie dropped his hand quickly.

“Art, if you want I can take out money for both of us,” he offered, his face flushed like he was embarrassed. “You don’t have to take out the $20 if you don’t want to.” Art heard the implication there. He meant: “if you can’t.”

Now it was Art’s turn to feel embarrassed. It brought him back to being a kid, and not being allowed to go to birthday parties because he couldn’t afford to rent the bowling shoes or the roller skates. It brought him back to eleventh grade, when they all got their driver’s licenses and started to go out to eat on the weekends and pass late nights crammed into diner booths. Pete had always pulled him aside and offered to pay his way for him. Pete always looked at him with a kind and earnest look in his eyes, and shame always rolled around in Art’s stomach like a hot coal.

He felt it now, rolling around in his stomach and pressing down on the back of his neck, forcing him to look down at his shoes. Collie was bouncing from one foot to the other, looking back at the rest stop every so often. The others were probably already crowded around the ATM, wondering what the hell was wrong with them.

“It’s alright, Collie. I can pay my own way. I have some money saved up,” he answered, finally looking back up at Collie. “Besides, it’s not like any of us have a ton of money.” Sickly he thought: there’s a big difference between being middle class and being poor. He knew that, and he knew Collie knew that. For a second, he thought Collie was going to say it, but mercifully, he didn’t. He just patted Art on the back, and the two of them walked across the parking lot to the rest stop.

///

Once they had finished at the rest stop, Collie had a modest stack of twenty dollar bills in his hand. The twisted the key in the ignition and the van rumbled to life. They pulled easily out onto the highway.

It was still only 9:30 in the morning, and the only traffic was huge semi-trucks carrying goods and produce across state lines. They rose up around the minivan on all sides, dwarfing it. Art figured the traffic would be heavier once they got closer to Boston. The route that Pete had devised had them driving within thirty miles of the city before veering off west into New York. Abraham’s phone estimated they wouldn’t reach Niagara Falls until 5:00 in the evening.

Their Johnny Cash CD had just restarted, and Abraham was shuffling through the other ones Pete had bought as Collie pulled up to the tollbooth. The toll only cost $3.00, and he handed the woman working in the booth a twenty with what looked like an apologetic smile. She gave him his change, the bar lifted, and they drove on.

“She probably thought I was a dick, paying with a twenty,” he mumbled to himself, sticking the change in his cup holder as he continued down I-95 South. Over the radio, Johnny Cash sang: “Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still. Listen to the words long written down, when the man comes around.” It was the song that had played when they first left the Target back in South Portland, the song that had made Abraham nervous. It made Art nervous, too. The upbeat guitar playing underneath it only served to remind him of his father, playing hymns on the back porch in Louisiana. The songs were always happy, but they said such horrible things.

He wondered if Abraham still thought the song was a bad sign. He wanted to ask him, but couldn’t bring himself to do it, in the car, in broad daylight. It seemed like the sort of thing where, if you admitted to it in the daylight, all the monsters and all the bad luck in the world would find you and strike you down. Better to say it in the dark, where you could hide. Art gulped- he guessed he was more superstitious than he thought.

Abraham ejected the CD, causing the music to cut out sharply. He put in the next CD, the American III: Solitary Man album. The first song on the album was I Won’t Back Down. A cover of a Tom Petty song. He noticed Collie was singing softly to himself. It made Art smile. He knew it was just the sort of song Collie would latch onto.

Ray had turned in his seat, and he and Pete had their heads together, putting their playlist together. Collie’s words in the Target that morning hadn’t deterred them.

“How much do y’all have so far?” Art asked, turning in his seat too to face them better.

“We’ve got like a hundred songs,” Ray answered. “All sorts of stuff.”

“Wow,” was Art’s only response.

“I think once we add a bit more we’ll be done,” Pete added. “We’re gonna be on the road for some ninety hours. Gotta be prepared.”

Art turned back around. Not for the first time, he wondered what exactly he had set into motion. Ninety hours on the road.

They crossed over a bridge, and beneath them the Piscataqua River lazed along. Some sailboats were gliding over the surface. Art wondered what it would be like, to lay on the deck on a sailboat, warming in the sun. Maybe his friends would be there too, casting their fishing lines over the side of the boat. Art decided that would be nice.

A sign posted on their right announced that they were entering New Hampshire.

“Look at that! We’re in New Hampshire!” he gasped out.

“New state!” Abe cheered, banging on the car dashboard.

“Maybe New Hampshire will be more to your liking, Parker,” Pete teased from the backseat.

Art was excited- it had been a long time since he’d crossed the Maine state line. They finished crossing the bridge, and the Maine Turnpike became the Blue Star Turnpike. The trip felt real in a way it hadn’t before. Art hadn’t left Maine since he was a kid, and now he was going to travel across the country. He looked around him, eagerly left and right, and took it all in.

After another twenty miles of driving, they came to another tollbooth. “Christ, again?” Collie exclaimed. “Fuck Maine, and fuck Maine’s roads.” They all laughed at his customary outburst.

“I think you mean New Hampshire?” Abe supplied.

“Yeah, fuck New Hampshire, too,” Collie grumbled.

“So… so far Parker hates 4% of states. Should we start placing bets on what that number’ll be by the end of the trip?” Pete asked.

Collie ignored him and gave the man at the tollbooth a few crumpled dollar bills. Then they were through.

“You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” Ray asked him fondly.

“Not at all,” Pete replied, and leaned back in his seat.

Art looked out the window.

///

They were in New Hampshire for only half an hour, and then they were crossing into Massachusetts. Another state to add to Art’s list. As they passed over the state line, Pete asked, in that fake earnest voice of his, “What do ya think of this one, Collie? Gonna add it to the list? Make it 6%?”

“You’re gonna get your stupid ass thrown out,” Art choked out between laughs.

“Art’s right, Pete. You’re getting yourself on my shit list,” Collie said.

“Who isn’t on your shit list?” Abraham asked.

“You know, Abe, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Hell, it’s fun to watch you get all red in the face.” Abraham grinned. Collie rolled his eyes but grinned too and kept on driving. They merged onto I-495 South, and then all the road signs began to point towards Boston.

“I was thinking we could stop and eat lunch around noon, and then switch drivers,” Pete said. His antagonistic streak seemed to be over, and he was back to examining the itinerary he’d put together for the trip.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ray agreed.

“I like the sound of that,” Collie said.

“How you doin’ up there, Collie?” Art asked.

“Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he assured, rolling back his shoulders and stretching. “But I’ll be ready to switch two hours from now.”

///

They were mostly quiet after that, just singing along to the CD playing over the radio, until they were nearing Lawrence, Massachusetts. There was an exit leading onto I-93 South, which would take them into Boston.

“Collie, can we go to Boston?” Abraham asked, looking longingly out the window, as if he could see the city’s skyline from the highway, thirty miles away. “I’ve never been to Boston.”

“Who the fuck lives in Maine and hasn’t been to Boston?” Collie asked in disbelief. “I’m not even from here and I’ve fucking been to Boston.”

“Well, fuck you. I don’t have a car, dipshit,” Abe shot back.

“That’s a shitty excuse. Just take a Greyhound from Portland into Boston,” Collie replied. “You guys have been to Boston, right? Even you, Art?”

Ray and Pete nodded, but Art shook his head. “No, I’ve never been. Until this, I hadn’t even left Maine in like eight years.”

They all looked faintly surprised at this. “Jesus, what?” Collie asked incredulously. “I’ve failed the two of you as a friend,” he said to Art and Abraham. “Once we get back, I’m taking the two of you to Boston.”

Art liked the sound of that- exploring a new city with Abraham and Collie Parker. His world seemed so much bigger than it had this morning, so much bigger than his present in Maine and his past in Louisiana.

///

By the time noon rolled around, they were nearing Blandford, Massachusetts. Boston was over a hundred miles behind them. “Pull off here,” Abraham instructed, and Collie did, and they rolled into Blandford. The welcome sign said the population was 1,233.

“There’s a park around here that’s really pretty. We should eat there,” Ray said, looking intently at his phone screen. Collie asked for directions, and Ray gave them. After a few minutes of driving they pulled into the parking lot of Becket Quarry and Collie paid the parking attendant $10. They’d already spent nearly $20, and it had only been a few hours. That stack of twenties wasn’t stretching as far as Art thought it would.

They all got out of the van and crowded around the trunk, pulling sandwiches and water bottles out of the cooler Abraham had brought. Collie grabbed one of the packs of beef jerky out of a Target bag, and then they were locking up the van and heading down the trail.

It wasn’t a far walk to the quarry, and along the path and trees surrounded them, green and leafy and tall. They reached the end of the path, and came upon the quarry. It was beautiful- the surface of the water reflected the endless blue sky overhead, and large rock faces emerged from the water and towered over it, covered over with moss and bright green foliage. There were a few different groups sitting around the quarry, but it was mostly empty- plenty of room for them to spread out and eat their lunch.

Abraham climbed one of the smaller rock formations overlooking the water and set his water and sandwich down. “We should go swimming.”

The rest of the group looked eager, excited at the prospect, but Art hesitated. “How deep is it?” he asked.

“Well, it’s a quarry, so I think the most shallow spot will still be at least forty feet,” Ray answered.

“Forty feet,” Art repeated softly to himself. That was awfully deep. It would be easy to disappear in that water and never come up again. That old panic gripped him.

The rest of them were stripping down to their boxers to swim. Abraham dove in first, and then Pete jumped in, dragging Ray with him by his hands. Collie went next, doing a cannonball and splashing the three of them in the water.

Art wished he could follow, but he imagined jumping in and sinking down down down, away from the light. Instead he took off his shoes and socks and sat at the edge of the water, his legs under it up to his mid-calves. The water was cold, perfectly refreshing for a summer day.

A few feet away, Abraham was floating on his back, and Pete and Ray splashed at him, giggling to each other like conspirators. Collie was swimming laps around them, his tanned arms glinting in the sunlight. Show off, Art thought, and suppressed a secret smile.

It made Art happy to watch him, and it felt good to bask in the sun, to feel it on his arms and his legs. It was still early June, but the temperature must have climbed past eighty degrees. It had been humid in the forest, but by the water the air felt crisp and clean.

The sun flashed brilliantly off the surface of the water, casting his friends in a harsh glare. They looked like an old overexposed photograph, or a child’s crayon-colored dream come to life. This, he thought, is what summer is.

Collie noticed him sitting on the bank alone and swam over. “You coming in?” he asked. Art shook his head. “Can you not swim?”

“I can swim,” Art answered. “It’s just… it’s too deep.” He could only see a foot or two below the water’s surface. Below that, darkness straight down. He could see Collie’s arms as he tread water, but the rest of him was obscured by the quarry water. Pete, Ray, and Abraham were just floating heads, bobbing and laughing a dozen yards from shore.

“Oh.” Collie pushed his wet hair out of his face. “I get that.” He braced his hands on the rock and lifted himself up out of the water, sitting next to Art. Art’s shirt sleeve was wet from where Collie’s arm touched his.

“You don’t have to stop swimming on account of me,” he said softly.

“Oh, it’s not on account of you,” Collie answered. “We have to dry off and eat anyways. I don’t know about the rest of them, but I don’t want to drive around for another four hours in wet shorts.”

They sat in companionable silence for a minute, Collie kicking his legs and churning up water. The droplets seemed to catch fire in the afternoon sunlight. “What bothers you about the water?” Collie asked, looking over at him. The heat of Collie’s arm was still heavy against his arm, but neither of them moved away. Art’s face burned with the proximity.

“I can’t see the bottom. I can swim fine,” Art explained. “But I don’t like it when I can’t see the bottom.” He almost wanted to add that no one knew what was down there, lurking below the reach of the sun. But that was the stuff of nightmares, and he didn’t want to seem stupid.

“We’ll have to find you a swimming pool, then,” Collie replied.

Art fixed him with a look. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No, I’m not making fun of you. I’m trying to be nice. I don’t make fun of you, you know. At least not, like, seriously.” He had a faintly hurt look in his eyes, like this was something he really wanted to get across.

Art answered that look with a smile. “A swimming pool sounds nice, then.”

“Good,” Collie said simply. He got up and walked over to where his clothes were discarded, and started getting dressed. Art averted his eyes. He called out to the three in the water, “Come on and get out now! We gotta hit the road soon to keep on schedule!”

“Don’t be so lame!” Pete shouted back, in the middle of dunking Ray under the water. Ray pushed him away, laughing.

“Dumbass, it’s your schedule,” Collie answered, sitting back down and ripping open the pack of beef jerky. “Get over here and eat your sandwiches.” The three reluctantly swam over and pulled themselves out of water, instead eating their lunch and drying under the sun. Art left his perch on the edge of the rock and went to sit with them.

They ate their sandwiches and drank from their water bottles, warming themselves in the sun and keeping an eye on the time. When it hit 1:00 PM, Collie got up and said, “Time to go, guys. Pete, you’re driving.” He tossed the keys, and Pete caught them cleanly.

“Aye aye, captain.” Pete gave a mock salute and started getting dressed. “Ray can sit up front with me. We’ll debut our playlist.”

“Can’t wait,” Collie grumbled.

As they left, Art looked back at the quarry one more time, at the murky depths and the glare it cast on the rock formations surrounding it. Then, he turned around and followed his friends through the trees.

#the long walk #art baker #collie parker #bakerparker #my fic #big sky country au

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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12/15/2020 DAB Transcript

Micah 1:1-4:13, Revelation 6:1-17, Psalms 134:1-3, Proverbs 30:1-4

Today is the 15th day of December welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy to be here with you today, center of the last month of the year, 10 days from now, a week and a half from now Christmas Day and we are continuing our journey forward in rapid fashion as we move through some of the shorter texts, especially in the Old Testament. We are already in the book of Revelation in the New Testament. So, we've reached our final book there, but we’ve got a ways to go in the Old Testament. So, we read the book of Jonah in its entirety yesterday, which brings us to the book of Micah, and this is halfway. So, this is the sixth of the 12 minor prophets that will conclude the Old Testament.

Introduction to the book of Micah:

And in terms of who Micah was, that…there is very little that's known. A little bit. The name Micah means “who is like God” We’re told in the text that he’s from the town of Moresheth and many biblical archaeologists associate this with Moresheth Gath which would…which would put Micah in the lowlands in the kingdom of Judah in the lowlands. And this is kind of the region where other famous stories in the Bible like David and Goliath happened. The book, as we’ll find out in just a minute tells us that the Lord gave the message to Micah of Moresheth and then lists Kings during the reigns of Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah when they were kings of Judah and that the visions that he had seen pertained to Samaria and Jerusalem. So, Samaria is the capital city of the northern kingdom of Israel. Jerusalem is the capital city of the southern kingdom of Judah. So, with the names of some of the kings incorporated into the text then we could date Micah to somewhere around the eighth century B.C. And then we also know that Micah has a brief mention in the book of Jeremiah. And Jeremiah was later. So, if all that I'm saying is correct Micah was still being quoted, Micah was still being referenced over a century later among the prophets when Jeremiah was doing his ministry. The book of Micah has a pattern, a prophetic pattern. There's like utterances of coming doom and judgment and then there are words of hope and restoration. That's a pattern that we see in a lot of the prophets. This is no different in Micah except that he does it three times in a row back-to-back in a short book. And, so, many scholars think that's a very intentional thing that's trying to be said beneath what's being said. Another thing of note about Micah is that Micah has promises in it of the coming messianic Messiah, deliverer. And, so, like it wasn't too long ago we read to the book of Hebrews in which the author continually says Jesus, basically Jesus was always supposed to come, you can see this thread through the prophets. Well, Micah would be one of those prophets. So, like Micah 5:2 is quoted in Matthew 2:5 and 6. “But, you all Bethlehem Ephrathah you are only a small village among all the people of Judah yet a ruler of Israel, whose origins are in the distant past will come from you”, right? So, this foretelling of the birth of Christ in Bethlehem. Jesus Himself quotes from Micah when He is talking about his own ministry and what it’s supposed to do, like that He's bringing down or exposing the world system. So, in Micah, “don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth. I came not to bring peace but a sword.” So, we recognize those words coming from Jesus, but Jesus was quoting Micah. But by the time we get done with reading the book of Micah, which will be tomorrow it should be pretty clear that God has no interest…in fact, is completely displeased with corruption and idolatry and rebellion and people who use their power or misuse their power to exploit the vulnerable or the less fortunate. But God is also perhaps even more passionate about hope and restoration for those who stay true. And, so, we begin. And we will read the first four chapters of the book of Micah. We’re reading from the Good News Translation this week.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. It's an everyday thing and we will never not be grateful because it has changed us and shaped us, and it continues to inform us, and it doesn't matter what year it is, it doesn't matter what day or week it is, You are always present speaking to us through Your word and it becomes such a mirror to our own hearts. It reveals us to ourselves in ways that…that You're…only Your Holy Spirit can do. And, so, we are grateful for that and we invite that. And as we continue this journey, we open ourselves, even as the days get busier, even as the world out there invites us to continue to close down because there’s just too much going on. We open ourselves fully to You. Nothing is off limits to You. So, come Holy Spirit, plant the words of the Scriptures in the soil of our hearts today. We pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's the website, it’s where you find what's going on around here.

And we’ve been talking about Christmas being the thing that's going on around here because that is…that it's what's happening around here, everywhere around the world. And, so, it's Christmas time in…around the Global Campfire as well. And, so, a couple things. We’ve been talking about the…the Daily Audio Bible Shop and the 2020 ornament. If you spend $40 or more in the Daily Audio Bible Shop, that is all true other than to say probably we’re not gonna have any more ornaments past tomorrow for sure, maybe…maybe not passed today. So, if, yeah…you know, if you were maybe kinda procrastinating a little bit and thought maybe you should check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop because you wanted that then check out…check it out today. Of course, once we run out of ornaments the Shop will still be open as long as we still have some…some stuff left. And, so, we will gladly continue to send…to send anything that…that you want from the Shop out. But I'm just giving you a heads up.

The other thing that we’ve been talking about is the annual Daily Audio Bible Christmas party that we do. And, so, we’ve been calling in our holiday greetings into the community here by using the prayer line apparatus, the phone number and the Hotline in the app. Tomorrow is going to be the last day for that. It’s a pretty good sized job to edit it all together and piece all of the pieces together so that we can have this virtual party and want to do that before Christmas, obviously. And, so, tomorrow will be the last day that we will be taking holiday greetings. So, if you’ve been procrastinating on that then now would be the time. You can…well…you can use the Hotline button in the app, which is the red button up at the top or…or you can dial 877-942-4253. And as I’ve been saying, there's really only one rule. That's…that's the prayer line. So, that's what it's primary…it’s primary purpose is to encourage each other through prayer and to keep each other up to date on the things that we are struggling through so that we don't have to be alone in it all so that we can shoulder each other's burdens. If you have that going on, if there are some things to share definitely call in. Just don't make a holiday greeting and a prayer request in the same call. This is one of the rare times you can call in and then hang up and call back. You can call in your holiday greeting and then if you have a prayer or encouragement or prayer request then make that a separate call so that we can keep everything tidy and in order.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you, especially now as we’re moving into the final weeks of the year. Thank you for your partnership. If the Global Campfire…if the fact that we can come together each day and allow God's word to be read fresh and fresh over us, if that's…if that makes a difference then thank you, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, or holiday greeting right now, yup, the hotline button in the app is the place to go. You can’t miss it. It’s up at the top. Looks like a hotline button or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey DAB family this is Byron out in Florida hope you all are doing well. Could use your help on something. As a lot of you know my youngest son Nehemiah is autistic and he goes to a special school and he’s been doing pretty well there but the schools been recommending that he gets additional behavioral therapy so that what they’re trying to do can work better. And, so, we’ve looked into it and it turns out that our insurance is not going to cover it but this is something that he really and truly needs. So, we’re going to move forward with it anyway. The numbers here are…are pretty large in an order of multiple thousand dollars a month and I’m not sure how were going to be able to pay for it but we’re gonna start it and see where it goes. So, I could use you guys’s prayers because I think this is best. We think this is best for him. We think the Lord is in it. We just don’t know how it’s going to add up at the bottom of the tiling. But God has promised to many things before. He has not forgotten us, and this is just the next step. So, we’re trusting Him for that but it’s not gonna happen without prayer. And, so, I would ask you guys to add your faith of mine and my wife’s faith and all the people that are surrounding Nehemiah to get him to where he needs to be in his particular development. So, praises to Him. He’s worthy of all of our praise. He’s never let us down. He’s never let you down. We come before Him in prayer and honor Him that He will take care of His children. So, thank you guys. I love you all and talk to you later.

Hello Daily Audio Bible prayer warriors this is only Tony. I’m calling tonight wishing that I could say a happy thing but I’m really calling for emergency prayers. I’m asking for prayers for my mother who has contracted Covid. Both my mother and father are in the hospital with Covid in the same room. My father is doing fair. My mother is doing very poorly. She’s really gasping for air and she’s very scared. She knows the Lord but she’s very scared. She’s afraid to go to sleep because she’s afraid that she won’t wake up. So, I’m asking if you would lift up Kathryn in New Jersey. I love her dearly and I just pray that God won’t take her at this point and give me more time with her. I ask that He would comfort her and ease her fears. Let her know that He is with and that He cares about her. So, if you would please lift up Kathryn in New Jersey I would appreciate it. I love you all. I thank you. I thank Brian for the wonderful year I’ve spent with you all. This is my first time calling and I just I pray that you would all have a Merry Christmas. My mother’s birthday’s is on the 18th of December and I pray that she makes it till then. Thanks very much. God bless.

Hello, my wonderful DAB family today is Saturday, December 11th and this is Rosie and it’s great to be free in Jesus. I’m calling in right now because I really need your prayers. I really need healing. I’ve been puttin’ up with a lot of pain and it just keeps getting worse and I just feel like I need my family to stand in the gap with me. There’s…I have pain in my back and in my knees and it’s moved to my feet. My toes feel like they’re on fire and I went to the doctor. He told me that I need to take extra vitamin B. Well, I’ve been doing that for the past month and the pains only getting worse. So, I’m having a hard time sleeping at night because of all the pain. So, I really need your prayers. And I really appreciate all of you, my family. And I appreciate Brian and Jill and China and the whole Hardin family for the wonderful community that you have made this and that you have let God lead you the whole way and we really do appreciate that and thank you family. God bless you.

Hello this is Wonderfully Made in Albuquerque I am calling in to pray for a woman who…she didn’t say her name, but she asked for prayers over just being distracted with everything that’s going on in the world that makes her sick I think and she’s having trouble with listening to the Bible and feeling God’s presence. And, so, today is I think this is from the December 11 reading actually. So, I’m calling in for you whoever your name is and I know that your…know that you’re not alone, that many struggle with this especially including myself. So, heavenly Father I pray for this woman and others who are struggling with the many distractions and what’s going on right now and who are weighed down. And also, those who don’t feel Your presence and who are discouraged by that who…who just need hope and I lift all of these up to You and this woman Lord and I praise You that You are greater than he who is in the world. And even those times when it feels like You’re not present You are present, and Your love will never let us go. And…and I praise You for the times where You do give us glimpses Lord and…and bless us with…with those feelings of Your presence. Yet faith is not about feeling or seeing. Faith is just moving forward and believing even when we can’t see and feel and everything. And thank You that Your spirit gives us…that You give us what we need in the moments that we need it. And I ask and pray for perseverance…

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Carmen from Orlando Florida calling with a praise report. Thank you everybody who prayed for my husband who had Covid at the end of October. He spent five days at the hospital and then he spent another week at home and getting better every day. And, so, two weeks later he went back to work and his personalities been back and he’s, you know, he still had an inhaler to use and his breathing wasn’t all the way there. But he seems fine now. I never see him running short of breath or anything like that and he feels like his old self again and I am so so grateful. I don’t know how to thank God for his healing. I don’t know how to thank you guys for them. So, all I can do is be here and say thank you thank you so much. I send you all a virtual hug and I wish everybody a Merry Christmas and an awesome new year 2021. God bless you. Bye-bye.

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mrslittletall · 5 years ago

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Don’t tell me where to go. Earlier I watched a video about the flaws in Pokémon Sun/Moon. One of them I heavily agreed with, that annoying red flag that indicates where you should go next. In an already very linear game. Imo, it is just unneccessary. I barely am able to explore the world and even when I am allowed to go exploring, sooner or later I have to go back to the part where the latest roadblock was. I probably haven’t forgotten about it, because I am stuck in a small area. Also, Rotom Dex is reminding me constantly where to go anyway. So why is there this red flag on the map? It’s pointless. Thinking about this, I started Trials of Mana to get the last spirit. The remake, not the original. And just like in Pokémon Sun/Moon, I got annoyed. There is always that glowing big star on the map, telling me where to go even though this game is as linear as Sun/Moon! The elfin elder told me to go the mana goddess statue in the northwest of the forest, I can press on minus and see a map with this exact same statue on it and still, a shiny glowing star points on it! It is unneccessary! I played the original, the original didn’t had a map, the map was also divided in screens because old game and guess what? I still was able to found this mana statue! In fact, even just two weeks ago because I like to play the original with my husband. Why are games so adamant to tell you where to go? Heck, even one of my favourite games, Okami, did it. Not often, but at a few points, mostly when you have to hurry (but actually have all the time in the world), a glowing red arrow shows in which direction you should run. This actually gets me out of the immersion. That giant red arrow doesn’t make any sense, especially when Okami normally never tells you where to go with a marker, you just can look into your log and normally get Issuns latest hint where to go, but you have to find out yourself just how to get there. And mostly, in this “hurry to a location” events you already know where the location is, because you have to run back to it! I am getting more and more annoyed by this... do the game developer think we gamers are stupid? That we can’t find our way? That we have trouble when there isn’t a giant marker on the map, especially in linear games? Alright, now let’s talk about Open World games. One example I play atm is Death Stranding. That game actually TELLS me where I need to go, BUT, while I know where I need to head, the way to the location isn’t clear at all. Often you can’t just cross in a straight line, the world is in your way and you are just a basic human without any superpowers (ok outside of the whole BT sensing thing and not being able to die thing), but you get the gist. The thing is, you have to go from point A to point B and have to figure out HOW you get there. Do you pack a bunch of ladders to scale the mountains in your way? Do you try to find a way around the mountains? Do you pack weapons to take out the MULE camp in your way or do you try to sneak through it? Do you try to avoid the timefall and the BTs or do you take them head on? You have a lot of choices in this game how to handle the situation and it is beautiful. Moreso, the game profits from its online features. When you are alone, you can see and use structures of other players, you can see signs that warn you and you can see footpathes that have been created by other players. It really makes it fun to reconnect the world and connect with the other players you never see but know are there. Alright, different game. Zelda Breath of the Wild. That game has a huge world. You are in a tutorial arena in the beginning, but after you got all your shieka stone apps, you are free to leave. And that is meant literally. Once you are done with the tutorial, BotW lets you do WHATEVER you want. You can literally go straight to Hyrule Castle and defeat Ganon and it is a common speedrunner thing. But you don’t have to defeat Ganon. The game gives you several objectives, like tame the titans or find the shrines or the memories. Now, the only thing that downright points to where to go are the titans and they are actually pretty easy to spot from a hight point, because they are HUGE. Everything else? Find it on your own. You get a sensor for shrine and you get quests for them. Nothing ever points to them with a marker, you have to solve the hints and find the shrine yourself. The same for the sidequest of the game. You get pointed to who gave you the quest, which is a good thing because it isn’t easy to remember where they were, but the actual quest? Read the text and figure out where to go. Normally it is near the quest giver, so just exploring a bit will help. And the memories! You have twelve photos and have to find the places they got shot at. So how do you find the needle in the haystack? There is this painter in each main town and a few stables and you can show him the photos, he then gives you a hint just where to search! I pretty much found every memory with his hints, I just needed to look up the last memory that wasn’t on the shieka stone because it had been three years since I visited that area and I forgot where it was (I still remembered that it existed, so iconic did it look). BotW gets praised a lot for his sense of freeness and I totally get why. Ok, now let me talk about the last games for now... Dark Souls, Bloodborne and Sekiro. When I started Dark Souls, I was really upset. Why? Not because the asylum demon crushed my sorry ass five times, not because I thought I had to beat him with the sword hilt, not because of the boulder trap that killed me. That game had no map! I would get so lost! I am HELPLESS without a map! To my surprise... I was completely fine without the map. Sure, in the beginning I got awfully lost and stumbled to the skeletons, but then I found the Undead Burg. I fought myself through it, explored, remembered where which enemy was when I was running back to Taurus the 20th time (I really struggled, ok?) and the gameworld... just made sense. It became a really aha-moment when the shortcuts clicked into place. Granted, the shortcuts aren’t a big part of the game anymore after the lordvessel, but the first half is beautifully done! Finding the shortcut back to Firelink, finding the back exit out of Blighttown, seeing how Anor Londo opens up, the shortcut in Sen’s Fortress, beautiful. That was what let me thought about Dark Souls as Metroidvania. That game is a Metroidvania. Sadly, Dark Souls 2 and 3 don’t have it as much anymore, especially Dark Souls 3 is a lot more linear, but still has loads of optional stuff to do for me and most importantly, never tells me where to go. Bloodborne is a lot like the first Dark Souls and also different. Bloodborne has a lot more areas that are disembodied, but they have that beauty of the Metroidvania in them. One of the most mind baffling things was finding the back entrance to Iosefka’s clinic... coming from the Forbidden Woods! And the finding out, HEY, that is that gate I saw at the start of the game and couldn’t open! Slowly, you open up Yharnam and even the other areas like the nightmares have cool shortcuts to find. It feels like your exploring got rewarded, that you don’t have to fight through all this enemies anymore, only a few, to get back to the boss. Now let me talk about the last game... Sekiro. This game opens up at a certain plot point and your only hints? You talk with Kuro and Emma and they tell you a few things they found out about. I was SO confused. I had no idea what they were talking about and where to go. So I decided to check the areas out they talked about and try to make sense of the riddles they told me. I couldn’t find a lot at first and went back often to listen to their riddles, until I just went full risque and jumped into a pit only to find out that this indeed had been the right solution! One by one, I found out how to find the other locations. The game never pointed them out for me, I followed the hints and found them myself. So, to conclude. Video games, please don’t tell me where to go.

#long post #gaming #video games

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winnipegpatty · 6 years ago

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like what you’re doing to me | two | s.m. series

a/n: yes let’s go! okay forreal this time though thank you @mendesmood for the instagram edits!!! <3 the ice cream picture is from sara_hara on IG, she’s beautiful. also, if you like this consider buying me a ko-fi (link on my page!)

Setting up a collaboration with Karli hadn’t been too hard considering Shawn didn’t have a whole lot going on right now outside of tour rehearsals. Andrew had wanted Shawn to set it up as soon as possible as to not lose some of the hype that had come along with his tweets and Karli’s video.

A ton of Twitter fans had already been speculating that they may be setting up a collaboration of some sort. And Andrew had given Shawn the go ahead to tease about it here and there, just to keep interest up. Which meant that Shawn and Karli had been flirtily tweeting each other all week. Nothing too crazy, but just here and there.

So now, about three and a half weeks since Shawn’s initial tweet from the airport, he was flying to LAX to create an unknown collaboration with Karli King. He’d left pretty much any and all specifics about the video up to her discretion, saying that he trusted her craft, whatever the fuck that meant. The truth was, Shawn didn’t know how to make a fucking Youtube collaboration. Sure, Shawn had started on Youtube. But Youtube years ago, was a completely different game than Youtube now. Shawn had recorded unedited, raw covers in his bedroom. And now, people were creating music that was just as produced and put together as his albums were. And they were putting out that content once or sometimes even twice a week. This was a world far removed from Magcon days. A loud cry from his vine days, and it was something that Shawn hadn’t the smallest inkling about.

But he hadn’t wanted to tell Karli that. He couldn’t seem like a fucking idiot to her before they’d even met.

Karli had sent over all the details of meeting spot and time and what not to Shawn’s cell (because now they had each other’s phone numbers, which was something Shawn doesn’t like to think about). And Shawn was just set to drop his things off at a hotel before meeting Karli King for the first ever time, and it was going to be...fine.

Shawn was nervous as hell. He never gets nervous, but goddamn he was nervous. He had butterflies constantly roaming his stomach, never giving him a moments peace. He felt like he had the jitters, his nervous habits that he’d abandoned long ago we starting to creep back in, and Shawn just felt completely on edge.

Why did he feel like he was about to me the fucking Queen of England?

It’s just Karli King.

Shawn hopped in an Uber, giving the address Karli had sent him, and decided it was time to clear is mind. He pulled out his phone, deciding to tweet something extremely ambiguous just to see the familiar flood of excited responses from the fans. He shot out just a quick little message saying “Today’s a big day!” and he waited.

It only took thirty seconds before he saw his mentions grow exponentially, filled with fans asking what was going on, if he could tell them anything, or requests to post pictures. Shawn replied to a handful of them, sifting through similar ones, finding the gems hidden in the rough.

You’ll see later. Coming soon. Pictures? Maybe, I’ll get back to you on that one ;)

Finally Shawn swiped off Twitter, entering his messages app and hitting Niall’s name.

Shawn: Hey, in LA for a few days. Hangout?

Karli was insanely terrified. Not just because Shawn Mendes was coming to her house, but because of the video they were about to produce.

It’s not surprise that Karli is best known for her ten song mashups. It’s unique, and it’s what got her traction on the platform, garnering her over 5 million subscribers. But if you knew Karli, you knew this wasn’t what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She loved Youtube, absolutely. And her fans were incredible. But Karli wasn’t wanting to sing covers forever. She wanted to write and release her own music.

So Karli was taking a risk. A really big one, but is life really worth living without them?

Karli wasn’t stupid. She knew that no matter what she put out, a video with Shawn Mendes was guaranteed to get more views than most of her own content. His fan base was insanely huge, arguably one of the biggest in the world right now. So, if she was going to take a risk, this is where she was least likely to flop. Because Shawn Mendes would be holding her up.

And Shawn had given her complete creative control over the video content. Shawn didn’t know this yet, but today he was going to be learning and singing a Karli King original. She was completely terrified. What if he hated the song? Or wanted to do something else? Or completely backed out because he’d expected to be doing a ten song mashup?

Shawn didn’t really seem like the kind of person to bail, but she also had to admit that she doesn’t really know him

But nevermind that, she didn’t have the opportunity to change her mind because Shawn would be here any minute.

She just hoped he liked it.

Shawn showed up about five minutes early, donning a backpack and two guitar cases. Karli hadn’t specifically told him he’d be playing the guitar or anything, but he wanted to come prepared. So he’d brought an acoustic and an electric.

“Hey,” Karli had easily welcomed him into what looked to be her actual home.

Which, made sense. He, after all, had also recorded everything in his home too when he’d started out.

Karli’s platinum blonde hair was flowing down her shoulders, with a small portion of it tied back into a small bun on her head. She wore a yellow cropped Adidas hoodie and a pair of gym shorts. He feet were clad in fuzzy socks, and Shawn felt immensely overdressed in just his right black slacks and his loose fitting tee.

Karli led them down a hallway, “Bathrooms right here, if you need it.” She smiled at him over her shoulder. “And this, is the studio.” She opened a door on the right to reveal an immensely beautiful space. Shawn actually gasped.

There was a mini grand piano in one corner of the room, and three guitars hanging on the wall near it. There was a desk with her producing equipment, an area for a camera set up, and a corner with microphones and music stands at the ready.

“Holy shit,” Shawn looked at Karli, “this is fucking legit.”

Karli laughed, and Shawn felt his heart stop. Her laugh was so mealoudious in video, but in real life it was angelic. He was never going to survive this day.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Karli responded. “I’ve spent years collecting this stuff.”

Shawn shook his head, “You could honestly to god record an entire album in this one room.”

Karli beamed at him, tugging on the drawstring of her hoodie, “That’s the goal.”

Shawn, who’d been busying himself with one of the guitars hanging up, turned completely shocked. “Really? You’re wanting to make your own music?”

She simply nodded her head shyly.

“Do you write your own songs?” Shawn asked, now completely invested in Karli, guitars all but forgotten.

“Well...actually, yeah. I’m going to show you one, for the video.”

Shawn’s eyes went wide, “You want us to sing one of your originals together?”

They spent the next few hours becoming accustomed to Karli’s original song, which she had titled ‘Why Won’t You Love Me’. Shawn absolutely loved the song. It had a sick beat, that they’d been playing around with on her computer. The electric guitar part was amazing, and their voices meshed so well on the chorus.

“Okay, the first verse is just going to be me and the guitar. So, then you just harmonize like that in the chorus and play the guitar, but then we’ll switch back on the verse. I’ll play the guitar. You’ll sing the second verse, which I will harmonize with. Then go into the chorus and bridge together.”

“Sounds perfect.” Shawn agreed.

Karli eyed Shawn for a moment, “Did you happen to bring that blue guitar in either of those cases?”

Shawn laughed, “Yeah, I did bring that blue guitar.”

___

YouTube: Shawn Mendes and Karli King sing “Why Won’t You Love Me”

___

Shawn: so do you like celebrate a video release?

Karli: i would say that’s the proper way to do it, eh?

Shawn: you wouldn’t be making fun of my Canadian heritage would you? just when i thought we had a good thing going.

Karli: i would never.

___

Since the video’s release, Karli’s channel has been trending on YouTube for days. She’s gained a ton of subscribers, and people showed genuine interest in her music. It seems like a lot of her fans had been waiting for her to release her own music, which was a pleasant surprise.

On Shawn’s side of things, progress was a bit more difficult to track. What with him already having millions of fans, and pretty high activity every day whether there was something being released or not, new traffic was a bit harder to grasp.

But Andrew continued to tell Shawn that all the press had been good. Karli’s song was huge, and she’d released a recorded version on iTunes without Shawn on it, that was doing really well on the charts. It seemed the media was viewing this as a “Shawn Mendes returns to his roots and pulls up an up and coming Artist with him” sort of situation.

Shawn really couldn’t care less about the success or what it was doing to his fan base, as long as it was semi successful at least. Shawn wanted the success for Karli, but for himself he really hadn’t cared.

But what he had used this opportunity as was a way to continue communication with Karli, on a slightly more personal level. They’d moved past Twitter mentions and into the regular texting category of new friendships. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been flirting with her.

But if Shawn had thought he liked Karli before he’d met her, he was head over heels for her now.

He couldn’t get her off his mind. He’d simply never found someone more mindblowingly talented. The effort that she put into her music was inspiring to even Shawn. Her conversations were captivating, like she always had something on her mind.

Shawn was honestly surprised with how open she’d become with him so quickly. But he wasn’t going to be complaining.

After the video release, Shawn had returned home to continue tour rehearsals. Tour was set to start in about a month, and Shawn was ecstatic. He’d never been more excited to sing songs live that he was about these ones. And practicing the tour every day just made him more and more energetic.

On top of rehearsals, Andrew also had Shawn doing some writing sessions here and there, preparing to release a single mid tour. Writing sessions meant going to LA for a few days here and there. Most of the time he spent this time coupled up in a house with Teddy, putting together ideas until finally something good sticks and turns into something incredible.

But other times, like now, Shawn had a free night. Normally, when in LA, he’d first reach out to Niall, but he knew for a fact that Niall was in the UK running some promo with his golf company. Shawn was honestly a bit bummed out anytime he and Niall seemed to miss each other, one away while the other was in LA. It felt like a gross injustice on the universe’s part, to give Shawn a friend like Niall but then rarely allow them to see each other in person.

Twas the life of a rockstar, Shawn assumed.

Shawn needed something to do though because he was in one of those moods. Those moods he gets into when he’s too much in his head. When he needs someone else to pull him out of it, and remind him that there is life outside of his mind. These moods only had one fix: people. It never really mattered who, though Shawn preferred it to be a close friend. But frankly, those were often in short supply for Shawn, depending on which corner of the world he was in on any given day.

Despite knowing tons of people in LA, Shawn really only wanted to see one person.

And that scared him.

His writing session with Teddy today had been productive, but Shawn knew exactly why. Because he’d been thinking about a certain blonde. He’d been thinking back to their first meeting and just how nervous she’d made him. In a way no one ever had. And how even now, the idea of texting her and asking if she was free to hang out had his stomach in knots. Shawn wasn’t this kind of person. Sure, he wasn’t like smooth or anything when it came to the ladies, but he wasn’t one to become nervous. Performing made him nervous. Awards shows made him nervous. Girls don’t make Shawn Mendes nervous.

Until Karli King.

Should he text her? Call her? Were they on a calling basis? Probably not. Were they even on a casual hangout basis? Shawn had no idea. Maybe he just had to just do it. Just text her and not even look back or think about it. That probably seemed best, before Shawn got even further into his head and completely over thought the whole thing.

Shawn: Hey Karli. I’m in LA for a couple days, and have the night free. Want to get together?

That was a normal thing to send a friend right? Shawn went to the kitchen of the house the team was staying in for writing sessions, grabbing himself a beer to calm himself. He didn’t have to worry for long, before his phone was chiming with a message.

Karli: Hey! I’m out with some friends tonight, actually. We’re just bar hopping. Come join us!

Shawn wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to join a group of people he didn’t know on a bar hop run, but he knew he wanted to see Karli. And he knew he wanted to be around people, so I guess this was the option that checked off both of those boxes.

Shawn: just tell me when.

That may have been overeager

Karli: We’re at Jeni’s now, won’t be going out for another hour or so. Come get ice cream!

Shawn smiled at the picture, wondering what ice cream flavor was her favorite, as he wait for the address of which Jeni’s they were at.

Shawn stumbled around the house, throwing on a YOUTH hoodie, and pulling on a pair of chelsea boots. Shawn had already called for an Uber by the time Karli had responded with the address. He answered her saying he’d been there in a few.

The butterflies in his stomach only amped up as he thought about how he was going to see her for the second time in just a matter of minutes.

“Are you drunk?” Karli laughed, throwing her head back as they continued to dance together.

“What?” Shawn asked shocked, “No. I’ve only had two drinks. I’m not a fucking pansy.”

Karli laughed even harder at that, “Well, what do I know? I’ve never been out drinking with Shawn Mendes before.” She smiled up at him, “You just seem like you’re having a good time.”

Shawn smiled, bringing his hand around her waist as he moved against her body, “I am having a great time, Karli.”

“That’s really good.”

Karli slung her arms around Shawn’s neck, “I’m not drunk either, but I might be soon.”

___

Getting to know Shawn after their night together in LA was easy, almost natural. Karli found herself texting him almost constantly. They would share bits and pieces of their days with each other. She’d send him little sound bites of a song she was recording while he’d send her little videos of him and Teddy messing around with a beat.

It was fun and light, but Karli knew there was more coming. She could feel it in the way her cheeks widened at the sound of his voice, or the way she’d blush slightly before sending him a picture of her day. She could feel it in the way Shawn’s laugh echoed in her mind hours after a phone call had ended.

She wasn't going to do anything about it though because he was Shawn Mendes and that entailed a lot of things. A lot of things that Karli couldn’t pretend to know about. Dating Shawn wasn’t something that one casually did because he was a celebrity. There were contracts and paps and images involved. Karli wasn’t going to insert herself into that.

She couldn’t, not with the way her life was now. She was building a name for herself, and she wasn’t doing it on the back of someone like Shawn Mendes. The last thing Karli needed was accusations being thrown her way of using Shawn for his fame. She knew all about cancel culture, and one headline like that could literally end her career before it had even fully started.

So there Karli remained, the silent background friend of Shawn’s that no one knew about.

___

Shawn: come to the zoo with me?

Karli: what? why are you going to the zoo?

Shawn: i want to see a kangaroo

___

It was a Thursday morning, just a week before Shawn’s tour was going to start. His energy was through the roof, and he had to get it out somehow.

So he went to the zoo.

Karli has easily agreed, and they’d met up outside before starting the day together. It was fucking hot outside despite it being early March. Kids were in school, so the zoo was practically empty. Just like Shawn had hoped.

“Okay so,” Karli looked over Shawn shoulders, pushing up on her top toes. “Looks like the kangaroos are all the way at the back.” She pointed to literally the furthest place in the zoo.

Shawn clapped, “Well we better get moving then, if we are to make it to Australia by days end!”

Karli laughed, following Shawn as he moved down the walkway.

Turns out that seeing the kangaroos, really just meant Shawn wanted to see every animal in the entire zoo. He stopped and gazed at every single exhibit. Asking Karli which animals she liked best and which she identified most with. He’s randomly share the oddest facts with her.

“Did you know that a rhinoceros's horn is made of hair?”

“I did not know that, Shawn.”

Occasionally Karli would initiate the conversation, saying how she wished she could be a sloth, or maybe how she wonders how penguins don’t get cold.

Overall, it was the exact kind of day Karli wanted to spend with Shawn. Sharing stupid facts together, laughing at odd jokes, accidentally brushing fingers or shoulders a little too often to be truly accidental. It was perfect. It was peaceful.

___

And they did finally see the kangaroos.

___

tagging: @fourtristattoos @peacedolantwins2 @rosecth @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @justanotherfangurl272 @my-sweet-escape-from-the-world @loveydoveyshawn @outlandishnerd @amandash113 @lostinroses @ilsolee

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #imagine #fic #fanfic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes writing #my writing #mine #writing #lwydtm #like what you're doing to me

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kaeyas-beloved · 6 years ago

Note

Can you write an angst fic where Rika is back with the rfa but with malice intentions. The rfa members didn't realised it (especially Jumin, because he still has feelings for her) but mc knew better. Rika felt threatened by mc and tries to kill her off. Jumin realise it but was too late? I'll leave the ending to you ^_^ loving your writings by the way dearest ♥♥♥

I’m glad you love my writing and I hope the writing that came out before filled the void until your request was done and posted… I’m so so SOOOOOO SORRY that this took so long to post and write please spare me T_T

I hope this is to your liking, please enjoy~

Tittle: Rika Comes Back

*TW: Kidnapping, Mentions of drugging, abuse, starvation, dehydration and blood!!!*

Rika has entered thechatroom

707: Wait…

ZEN: No way…

Jaehee Kang: It can’tbe

Rika: It’s so good tobe back! ^^

I’m sitting in Rika’s apartment doing something, anything, to keep myself away from theRFA chatroom. What’s the point of going on if you won’t even be acknowledged?Answer, there is none.

Last night, all of the RFA were on the messenger, excludingmyself, talking about the upcoming party that’s being held in a week’s time,when all of a sudden Rika, yes, the deadRika, logged onto the chatroom. Automatically, something didn’t sit right withme. When I joined the RFA 5 days ago, I was informed that a year and a halfago, Rika had killed herself by jumping into the sea, off a cliff. No one should be able to survive that. No one. So, there being a dead girlbeing alive means somethings up. Her “reason” for being away was that she wason a trip in the southern states of the USA for that time, seeing sites andenjoying the warmth that the states provided.

There’s one other thing that has me avoiding RFA and that’sbecause I’m not the party coordinator anymore. Last night everyone justwelcomed Rika with open arms and then she offered to take the job back sinceshe was there now and that she can now do it. And guess what! Yep! They justgave it to her, no ‘Hey (Y/N) is that okay with you?’ or ‘As long as (Y/N)doesn’t mind…’. Nope V just down right typed:

V: I don’t see whynot.

V: I mean, the job isyours after all.

V: Who else would beable to do it?

And everyone agreed with that last comment. It just reallyhurts that I was forgotten so easily, but I can sort of understand. Rika holdsa special place in their hearts and me? I’m just a stranger.

But, me being a stranger won’t change the fact that hersudden appearance is fishy. I have an advantage in this situation, I don’t knowwho Rika was, therefore I don’t hold Rika in my heart so I can’t be blinded bymy “love” for her. There are just so many flaws in this whole situation that itautomatically points to something bad. I don’t know the full extent of what itis or who will be involved, but I know one thing for sure, it involves Rika andsomething bad will happen. I just have a gut feeling and my gut is never wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ZEN: I wonder where(Y/N) is…. She hasn’t been on the messenger for a while now.

Jumin Han: Yes, youare quite right.

Yoosung: You don’t think the hacker got her do you!

Rika: Hacker?

Jumin Han: Yes, ahacker sent (Y/N) to the RFA.

(Y/N) has entered thechatroom

ZEN:(Y/N)!!! You’rehere!

ZEN: Where have youbeen!?

(Y/N): Busy. Why?

Jumin Han: Well, youhave been absent from the chatroom for some time.

(Y/N): Oh…

(Y/N): Well, don’tworry^^

Rika: Hello (Y/N) it’snice to finally meet you^^

(Y/N): Like wise.

Rika: Also, and Idon’t mean to be rude, but can you leave my apartment?

Rika: I just wouldlike to move back in so I can do my job a little better then from where I amright now.

“How the hell did she know I was at her apartment? No onementioned it in a chatroom so…” I mumble to myself. She just keeps getting moreand more suspicious by the second. Still, I can’t let her know I’m onto her…

(Y/N): Oh! Sure, whendo you want me out by?

Rika: ASAP

Rika: The sooner thebetter.

Rika: Thank you for understanding!^^

(Y/N): It’s not a problem!

(Y/N): I should gonow, got some stuff to do ^^

(Y/N): See ya!

(Y/N) has left thechatroom

I turn to look at Rika’s apartment, I didn’t really bringanything here with me, my only belongings being my phone, charger, earbuds,some clothes, hair brush along with a toothbrush and toothpaste so moving outshouldn’t be too hard for me to do. But first, I’m going to see just how Rikaknew I took up residence in her apartment.

Messages - Rika

(Y/N): Hey Rika?

Rika: Yes?

(Y/N): How did youknow that I was in your apartment?

Rika: Jumin told melast night on the chat

(Y/N): Oh, ok!

Rika: Why?

(Y/N): I was justcurious ^^

(Y/N): I need go,Thank you~! ^^

(Y/N) is offline

Liar. The chat shows no mention of me staying here at theapartment. She’s lying. Why didn’t she just tell me the truth?

What are you hidingRika?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, somethings up. Something is definitely not right withRika and other weird things are happening too. For example, I find that whereever I go, there are always these cloaked people watching me. It’s creepy.Also, Rika has been really friendly with everyone else, especially Jumin, butnot so much to me. Now, I’m not one to stoop to her level but, I’m one to stoopto her level. Text after text, call after call, it seems like just one bigfight between us, both acting innocent in it all. I spot like 15 cloaked peopleone day and as soon as I got home, Rika texted me ‘How are you doing? I heard you went out today, nothing weird happenedright?’ Of course, I lied saying nothing happened. Why would I tell thesuspicious person something suspicious happened to me when said person sent asuspicious text? You just don’t. Also, right around when Rika came back, Zenand Jaehee received weird emails about paradiseand a world of no pain. The emailhad a name of where it originated from, MintEye. Sounds like a cult name, I know.

The party’s in 4 days my goal isto expose her before then. Whatever it is, I just need to find a few morepieces of the puzzle. My phone makes a ding,signalling that a chatroom has opened. Swiping the notification to theright, I open the RFA messenger app and with one glance I can see that all themembers are on, even V. I decide to join just because I feel like it but wait alittle before, just to observe.

Rika: 4 days!! I can’t wait ^^

Rika: It’s going to be just like old times!

Jumin Han: Yes, you are right Rika.

Jaehee Kang: I, as well, am excited about this. I really missed doingthis and I am sure everyone else can agree.

Yoosung: Yeah!

Yoosung: It’s all thanks to Rika that we can do another party.

Yoosung: She was the one to send emails! ^^

707: Um…

707: Yoosung, you know (Y/N) was the whole reason we started to planthe party, right?

707: She started the emails and actually did more than half of theemails.

Rika: She did?

707: Yeah, where is she anyway.

ZEN: I talked to her a few days ago

V: Luciel…

707: I’m on it

707 has left the chatroom

ZEN: She’s ok, right?

Jumin Han: We will know in a moment.

707 has entered the chatroom

707: She’s in the apartment, looking at the camera.

707: She also doesn’t look to good, maybe mad or maybe sad?

Well, he’s not wrong. I amlooking at the camera and I don’t have the happiest look on my face either. Ilook back down at my phone and find that Seven forced-joined me into thechatroom.

ZEN: What’s wrong (Y/N)?

Yoosung: Yeah, Seven said you look sad or mad.

(Y/N): Well, it’s a mixture of the two along with frustration.

Jaehee Kang: Is there anything we can do?

Jumin Han: Yes, you know the RFA are here for you.

V: Did we do something or is it personal?

(Y/N): It’s hard to explain but-

“The special security system hasbeen deactivated,” a female voice states. That’sweird…

V: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): What’s a special security system and what happens if it’sdeactivated?

707: Don’t leave the apartment.

707: Doesn’t matter what happens, under no circumstances do you leavethat apartment!

707 has left the chatroom

Jumin Han: Listen to Luciel (Y/N)

ZEN: Is (Y/N) okay!?

ZEN: Hey, Trustfund Kid answer me!

Rika: The special security system is something I asked Luciel toinstall for protection of the classified information that is stored at myapartment and when it is deactivated, nothing is protected.

Rika: So, anything can be opened and it won’t sense that there issomeone touching something they are not suppose to be touching.

Wait… Perfect…

Now that it’s deactivated I canlook through the drawers and see if she’s hiding something. I honestly don’twant to but it’s her fault for acting suspicious. I head over to her desk firstand look at anything that’s on top of it.

Nothing

There is a total of four drawersthat I could be opened. I start with the top drawer on the right of the deskand try to open it. Locked, damn. Andalso, very suspicious! I quickly look around for something that I could useto bust open it with and once I settle on something I grab it and smash itagainst the drawer. After the second blow I put all my strength into the thirdone. Third times the charm, right? Ideliver the blow and the drawer pops open and when I drop the item I used tobust it open and look in, I’m shocked.I take a quick picture and go back to the chatroom to confront Rika about this.

(Y/N): RIKA!

(Y/N): Please explain why you have things related to the strange emailsfrom a couple days ago!

Rika: I don’t know what you are taking about…

ZEN: What’s going on?

V: (Y/N), calm down

(Y/N): No! I knew something was up with you.

Jumin Han: YOU WENT IN RIKA’S STUFF!

(Y/N): That’s besides the point.

(Y/N): I want to hear her explanation.

Jumin Han: That’s enough

Jumin Han: I’ve known Rika basically my whole life, she was obviouslyframed.

Yoosung: Yeah!

Jumin Han: I don’t know what you are trying to prove (Y/N), but I thinkyou should leave.

Jumin Han: You don’t know Rika the way I do and if you can’t trust her,why should I trust you?

(Y/N): You can not be telling me you didn’t find Rika appearing sosuddenly was not in the slightest way suspicious?

(Y/N): I mean, V said that she committed suicide by jumping off acliff!

(Y/N): Unless V lied…

Jumin Han: I SAID ENOUGH!

Jumin Han: Stop interrogating my friends.

Jumin Han: You should really just leave.

(Y/N): But-

I am cut off by the lights goingout and hearing the door open and the window crashing. In the door way, Rikastands there with an evil looking smile. I whip my head around to look whathappened to the window. There stood another person, a male, with white hair andwhat looked liked pink tips; as well as piercing mint green eyes. He waswearing dark clothing buy I was able to make out a blood red tank top and atattoo of some sort that’s just being shown on his right arm. His right jacketsleeve was also hanging around his arm instead of it being worn properly on hisshoulder.

I look back down to my phone,about to text the messenger for help only to find that my screen is full ofcode and is coloured neon green and black,

“Oh, it’s useless now princess~”the male specks, a smirk obvious in his voice; his voice is also slightlydisoriented. Why, I have no clue, must be a mask of some sort but it’s too darkto be 100% sure. I start to back away from him as he starts to move forwardtowards me when suddenly a pair of thin arms wrap themselves around my form.I’m taken aback by surprise just long enough for the guy that came through thewindow to stand in front of me and press a cloth that’s just drenched inchloroform. Within a minute my consciousness starts to slip and right before Igo under the man says something that sends chills down my spine.

“Sweet dreams princess~ See yousoon~”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold, hard ground.

That’s the first thing I registerwhen I wake up, the cold, hard ground I lay on. When I finally find thestrength to open my eyes I’m met with a room that is deprived of light. In theroom sits a beat-up bed that looks like it could fall apart if even a fingergrazes it and… that’s it… T_T Well, apart from the door, that’s it.

I try to stand up so I could bangat the door and yell at them to let me out but that’s quickly proven impossiblebecause I find that my wrists and ankles are chained to the wall. Just great I think to myself. Well,someone must have been near by because after I settled back down and my chainstopped clanging together, my practicallycell door opened to reveal the man who crashed through the window. How did he even do that?! The apartment wason the 14th floor!?

The man has this smirk on hisface that just voices that trouble is near. He takes long strides over to meuntil his face is mere inches from mine, our noses almost touching. I put on mybravest face I can but its obviously not very convincing because he just startsto laugh hysterically at me in my face.

“You’re scared princess, don’ttry to hide it, it looks good on you after all~,” the man winks and lets out asmall chuckle before continuing, “you were so close to exposing my Savior andI along with our plan, but I’m glad we could stop you before anything badhappened. This is your new home, away from those filthy liars, especially thetwo men, V and Luciel. Once we fulfill our plan, everyone will be at peace.”

There’s this pleasant smile,albite small, but one is still there, but it’s gone just as fast as itappeared. The mysterious man turns to leave but I quickly speak to get hisattention and not let him leave just yet, “Wait! What plan? Who’s this‘Savior’? Why are the RFA ‘liars’? What do you have against V and Seven?” Allthese questions are in a hurricane inside my head at the information justpresented moments ago. While I wait for him to answer my questions, even onewould be amazing, all I get is a chuckle and his head shaking.

“All in do time princess, all indo time”

He turns once more to the door,but I, not satisfied with what I got as an answer, yell one more question tothe white and pink haired man. “At least tell me your name. Please.” He stopsin his tracks and turns to face me again, opening his mouth to respond.

“Saeran. My name is Saeran.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

707 has joined the chatroom

707: GUYS!

707: Somethings wrong with the CCTV footage at Rika’s apartment.

707: It was tampered with… (Y/N) could be in trouble…

V: Oh no…

707: Did anything weird happen with (Y/N) recently?

Jumin Han: She said she found something linking to the strange email inRika’s apartment.

Jumin Han: She also sent a photo.

Jumin Han: I got upset with her because she was pointing fingers atRika and V

Jumin Han: Then she abruptly left the chatroom.

707: How long ago?

V: About 5 minutes ago

707: Damn…

V: Luciel, I need to call you about something.

707: Okay, talk soon.

V has left the chatroom

707: has left the chatroom

Jumin Han: Please, be alright (Y/N)

Jumin Han has left the chatroom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It feels like years when it’sonly been weeks. It doesn’t end, the beating, the drugging, being starved anddehydrated… when will this nightmare end? I hope it will soon.

RFA… where ever you are, please… save me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks pass, Rika has disappearedthe same day (Y/N) did and Seven has been battling non-stop to try and figureout what happened to (Y/N) at Rika’s apartment. Anytime he’s close to gainingaccess to the corrupted feed, more codes for him to hack appear. Who ever tookher really doesn’t want to be found. Jumin is going along with V to theapartment to try and find clues themselves; since Luciel is busy and can’t gohimself. Jumin wasn’t actually going to go with V at first but with some minorguilt with how they last interacted he felt like he needed to help out.

Upon entering the apartment onething stands out to the two men: thewindow was smashed open. That’s the first thing that was inspected, andwhat was found was spine chilling.

There was blood.

While, yes, it was only a coupledroplets, it’s still blood one way or another. Along with the exit being found there was also a rag on the ground. Theydon’t sniff it though, they’re not stupid, only stupid enough to pick it up.There was one more thing, the drawer.Yes, that drawer, the one (Y/N) claimed there being something to link Rika tothe weird emails. V takes the contents out of it and places it on top of thedesk, inspecting along with Jumin every piece of content they could look at.

There were blueprints to abuilding that’s a 5 hour drive away, there was a planner with the tags RFA andME stuck to it as well as a piece of cardstock with what looks like thecontents of an invitation

Meetthe people who will love you forever.Attend the endless party

Don’tyou want to escape from this filthy world?This is an invitation to paradise.

Are you suffering from your past?We will help the pain go away.

A world filled with pleasure…A world filled with truth…A world with no tears…A world with no rejections…

Accept the angel’s invitation.

Magenta,Where everyone is happy…

V takes out his phone and snapspictures of everything to send to Luciel. While, yes, it means more work forthe already stressed out hacker, it’s still information that will lead tofinding the MIA party coordinator. When every nook and cranny are looked over,V and Jumin head out of the apartment, hoping to find a lead to finding theirlost and endangered friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally! A lead!

After receiving the informationthat V sent from the apartment, Seven was able to find where (Y/N) was locatedand also get a visual on her.

“Oh my god…” Seven covers hismouth with his hand, shock and disgust written all over his face.

There sits (Y/N), blooded andbruised, chained to a concrete wall. She also seems to have lost a considerableamount of weight these past 6 weeks, cheeks seemed to have hollowed in, clothesbaggier than usual and there’s this one spot that’s exposed located on her shoulderwhere her shoulder blade can be easily seen.

“Have they not been feeding you, (Y/N)!?” Seven questions more tohimself than to anyone in particular. Finding out her current state all themore fuels the fire in the rescue of their newest member and dear friend.

All of a sudden, Vanderwood walksinto the bunker, about to yell at the hacker to do his work but Seven cuts himshort.

“Madam Vanderwood, we are goingon a rescue mission!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here’s the plan,” Seven starts,pulling out a map. The whole RFA, save for Rika, plus Vanderwood are gatheredin Jumin’s penthouse to discuss how this rescue mission is going to go.“Vanderwood and I are going to infiltrate through the front. We’ll be lookinglike what everyone looks like in there, wearing long black robes with goldtrims.” Seven then points to a small box on the map. “That’s where they’rekeeping (Y/N), we are going to go in there, grab (Y/N) and take her out andbring her to the closest hospital, Springhill General Hospital, meet us thereokay?” Everyone nods in understanding. “Good, Jumin I want you to have a room prepped for her so she can gettreated ASAP.”

“Of course,” Jumin says with anod.

Everyone stands getting ready toleave the penthouse and go to where they are told to be. Jumin walks up toSeven, opening his mouth to speck to the agent in charge, “please, bring herback in one piece.”

“Wasn’t planning on having herany other way” Seven replies with a smile. Jumin gives a small, small smile and nods back, content withthe response given.

With that, everyone files out andgoes to their positions, awaiting the rescue of (Y/N).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swear, the beatings just getworse and worse each time, along with the amount of that blue liquid that getsshoved down my throat any time I refuse it. Like now, I just had about half tothree quarters of that stuff and honestly, I’m feeling dizzy. I reach up withmy chained arm and rub the fresh bruise that’s forming on my cheek. My cheekshave long hollowed in due to lack of food and water. I then move my hand downmy body, running it over my shoulders and arms, my shoulder blades I can feelprotruding and my arms are thinner than they use to be, again because of lackof nutrients.

All of a sudden Rika, or better known as The Savior around this nut job, comesthrough the door, baring a gun. Great…

“Well (Y/N), you could haveactually been useful to Paradise but you have refused salvation too manytimes…” she states in a tone that breathes malice intentions.

“So…” I ask calmly even thoughinside I’m screaming for someone, anyone, to come and save me at thismoment.

“So,” she continues harshly, “youare no longer needed.” She then raises the gun to point right between my eyes.Rika is standing a few steps away so the gun isn’t pressed up against my head.“Any last words?” She asks, faking mercy on my last moments.

“Yeah, I do actually” I say witha last-minute serge of bravery, “I know what you want to do to the others,bring them to this nut house call “Paradise” and if you succeed, which youwont, I’m coming back to haunt you and make the rest of your life a living hell.” When I’m done though, all she does is laughand steady the gun again to point back at my head.

“Okay Ms. Party Coordinator,we’ll see about that.”

Right before the trigger ispulled the door slams open revealing a red-haired hacker and a tallerbrown-haired agent, both wearing the robes that basically everyone wears. I caneasily recognize the red-haired man as Seven from the picture that have beensent and his profile pictures but the other guy is unfamiliar. When Seven’seyes meet Rika’s, he freezes.

“No… (Y/N) was right, you arebehind this.” He says shaking his head, backing up slightly, trying to grasp atany flaw that could prove the truth a lie, butthere is none. Rika, in a state of panic, fires the gun at me mindlessly,resulting in me getting shot in the abdomen. I fall to my side, clutching thewound but the blood doesn’t stop flowing. Seven yells “NO” and runs over to me,kneeling beside me to try and get a better look. Behind him I can see that thebrunette has knocked Rika out and now she lays lifelessly on the floor.

My mouth is open and Seven canprobably smell my breath. His nose scrunches up a little, telling me that hejust caught a whiff. Then his eyes widen and he smells again. “Oh no…” hewhispers to himself

“Come here Vanderwood!” Oh, sohis name is Vanderwood. Wait… wasn’t thatthe name of Seven’s maid!? I’ll askhim when I’m not dying. “She’s shot and has chemicals in her system, I cansmell them.”

“Move” Vanderwood says some whatharshly but I can faintly see the concern in his eyes. “It’s bad, punctured anartery. She’ll bleed out and die if we don’t get her help fast. As for thechemicals, I can smell them too, and if I’m not wrong, those chemicals inparticular can be deadly or cause lifetime complications. It’s already a wonderto me how she hasn’t lost consciousness yet.” Seven nods his head, unlocks thechains and goes to pick me up gently, probably to get out of this building andme to a hospital. I then remember about Saeran. Over the course of my stay,Saeran has visited me quite a few times and he ended up opening up a bit abouthimself, including that he and Seven, orSaeyoung rather, are twin brothers.

“Saeyoung…” I breath out the bestI can since my conscious is slipping rapidly. Seven freezes at the use of hisreal name that I should have no knowledge on. But he just shakes his head andkeeps going so I decide to say a different name, “Saeran…” He freezes once moreand looks down wide eyed at me.

“How do you know those names…” heasks.

“Saeran” I say again.

“Saeran?” He questions. I nod toconfirm. “Is he here (Y/N)!?” I nod again. “Damn…” he whispers.

“Looking for me Saeyoung…” I can faintly hear Saeran’svoice in the distance as my vision starts to blacken and my eyes start toflutter shut. Seven must have noticed because he starts to call out to me.

“Hey, hey, (Y/N), you gotta staywith me here please.” He pleads.

“Can’t… sorry…” is all I canmuster out with my strength leaving my body so fast.

“Vanderwood, take (Y/N)” Sevenhands me over to Vanderwood and I hiss in pain.

“Sorry” I can hear Vanderwood say.Even with my senses disappearing I can still see Saeran walk over to Seven.

“Saeran,” I call, catching hisattention. He looks at me, “come with us” I say. He gives me a laugh.

“And leave Paradise! You’reinsane!” he states as he continues to laugh.

“No… Saeran… you are… being usedby… Rika for her own… gain…” This has Saeran stop laughing and looking at mewith wide eyes. “Think about Saeran…” I add.

Saeran eyes go back to normal butwith an added sadness to it, like he knows it’s true but he doesn’t want toaccept it. He closes his eyes and turns his head to the ground and I take thistime to lean up and whisper in Vanderwood’s ear to knock him out if he doesn’tcome with us after I ask him. Vanderwood nods, understanding his job.

“So, Saeran, come with us please.”Surprisingly, he nods his head slowly, agreeing to come with us. I breath a sighof relief but that relief is short lived because a shock wave of pain courses throughmy abdomen, causing me to hiss in pain again. This catches the other three males’attention.

“SHIT THAT’S RIGHT YOU NEED AHOSPITAL LIKE NOW!” Seven yells, “COME ON!” He then bolts to the exit and theother two start running too. Right as I get placed in the back with my head onVanderwood’s lap and me laying on Saeran too, Seven driving in the front, I havea smile on my face at the fact that I’m out of that hell and so is Saeran andthat he has Seven back. Then I lose consciousness as the car zooms off and awayfrom Mint Eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beep

That’s the first thing I hear,beeping.

Soft, warm.

That’s the first thing I feel.

Antiseptic.

The first thing I smell. Thatsort of gives away that I’m in a hospital. The antiseptic isn’t the only thing I can smell, it was only thefirst. In fact, I can smell lots of things. I also smell honey and butter,coffee, cinnamon, cigarette smoke…

I start to stir in my hospital bedbut as soon as I do, I hear a collection of gasps sound from around me, somechairs move, a couple foot steps and a voice. Jumin’s voice.

“Can you hear me? (Y/N)?” Jumin asksin his cool tone but anyone can easily hear the excitement and joy and concernin it. I try to talk but only a groan escapes my throat. I finally find thestrength to open my eyes and when I do I can see that Vanderwood, Saeran, Seven,Jumin and what I assume is the rest of the RFA standing in the bright, whitehospital room. Smiles break out on everyone’s faces, yes even on Saeran’s, whenmy eyes fully open, clearly, they are happy that I’m fine, or at least I hopethat’s the reason.

When the excitement dies down abit I go and ask a few questions, hoping for adequate answers, “how long was Iout?” being my first question. Saeyoung it the one to answer,

“You were out for 6 months; thedoctors weren’t sure if you would make it or not…” I give a small smile.

“Well, I guess I made it.” I say.He laughs a little.

“Yeah, guess you did.”

My smile falters for a second asI think about what my next question is since I don’t want to trigger anything inSaeran or to anyone else. V seems to notice this so he asks “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I have a question but Idon’t want to say anything that could…um…bring some bad memories to anyone,” Ilook at Saeran, “specifically Saeran since he looks to be doing better than whenI last saw him.” I give Saeran a small smile and he returns it.

“It’s okay… go ahead” he says. I keepsmiling and nod to him.

“Well, um, what happened to her.” I ask slowly.

“She’s in Alaska right now.” Juminanswers.

“Okay…” Deciding to change the subjectto something more light-hearted I ask “So, what did I miss?” and that seems tohave done it. Everyone starts talking about their lives from the last 6 months;Yoosung talks about college, Jumin and Jaehee about the newest cat project, thetwins about how they bonded, Zen about a new role he got and V on his latestpictures he’s taken.

From day till night, until he neededto leave for the night and go home, Jumin never left my side. He never left myside through my whole recovery either and for that, I am grateful that I couldmeet him and all the others too.

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