#this is from Aaron’s POV

[moodboardsbysarah]

you have killed my innocent soul. I used to look to you and see everything now I see nothing at all.

nothing but a shallow husk. nothing but a reminder that I cannot be a slave to physical lust.

when you made me kill her, you happened to kill me. now I wish that you were her every, every day.

I live inside my own hell, my own hell that you designed for me.

she was pure. she loved me. she saw my pain. she saw me.

You don’t see me, You see only a monster to keep in chains.

deceived me you are special, but you are exactly the same as everybody fucking else.

all the deceit you accused me of, a crime you committed upon me. you spent my life making me spill my guts out for you

now there is nothing left of me

[kevindavidday]

twinyard therapy session truly reinforcing the brotherhood.

aaron calling andrew out on his lies. andrew calling aaron an ignorant piece of shit. "go slash some tires or whatever it is you do for fun". "you're here on my time because of us." andrew telling aaron his taste in girls has and always will be abysmal. aaron telling andrew neil is the literal most irritating person on the planet.

hypocrisy and denial and progress.

[ionlydrinkhotwater]

Rainbowcrate AFTG Spoilers

"On Monday Ichirou Moriyama had chosen Neil over his own family and bought the Perfect Court. One of these days Aaron would love to know what about that mouthy liar had people bending over backwards for him"

-The Kings Men AFTG rainbow crate special edition bonus

[aarontveit]

There is nothing we can do with suffering, except to suffer it.

[from-a-legends-pov]

Star Wars Legends Highlight of the Week: “You can’t look dignified when you’re having fun.”

In this feature, a fan will share one thing they love from Star Wars Legends — a book, a comic, an author, a character, a scene, an event, or anything else they want to highlight — and tell us more about it.

If you, too, love Legends, follow @from-a-legends-pov and check out our From a Legends Point of View fanfiction event, where we’ll be working with writers to build a collection of Star Wars Legends fanfiction set during the time of the Original Trilogy. Signups are open now through June 2, 2024 — use our Signup Form here to pitch your story concepts (Signup guidelines available here), and please encourage your favorite writers to participate!

Today’s Legends highlight is a moment — a scene from X-Wing: Solo Command featuring Wes Janson and Myn Donos — and we’re talking with one of the From a Legends Point of View mods, Psy.

Tell us about your Legends highlight. What is it? What’s it about?

My highlight is a scene from Aaron Allston’s novel X-Wing: Solo Command, where Wes Janson gives his fellow lieutenant Myn Donos some life advice. Myn has some pretty severe PTSD from the ambush on Talon Squadron (of which he was the lone survivor), and has nearly washed out of the New Republic starfighter corps due to his efforts to deal with his trauma by not dealing at all — he hasn’t even really talked with anyone about the incident. Wedge sees through Myn’s latest attempt at avoidance and orders him to talk with someone about what he’s experienced.

Wes is that lucky someone. The highlight of their conversation is this section, which starts while Wes is jumping on his bed:

“Tell me, Myn, how do I look?”

"Well, stupid."

"Exactly!" With an exuberant bound, Janson leaped off his cot, smacked his head on the ceiling, and swore as he landed on the floor again. He rubbed his head and glared at the treacherous ceiling. "When was the last time you looked stupid?"

"I don't know."

Janson leaned in close to him. "Try to understand this. I'll say it slowly. I want you to remember it for the rest of your life.

"You can't look dignified when you're having fun."

When Myn still isn’t quite getting it, Janson goes on to explain:

"Let's try it a different way. You want to be in control so you don't foul up some horrible way. But you're so in control that you're basi­cally a walking dead man. Since you're dead, you had nothing to offer Lara. You have nothing to offer Wedge — he's got plenty of dead pilots, doesn't need another one. Most of them are smart enough to stay where we plant them, though."

Wes’s advice?

“Get drunk. Get slapped. Do something you always wanted to do as a child, especially if it's something that would humili­ate you today. If you're going to get kicked out of Starfighter Command, make it for something you can be proud of.”

What makes this a Legends highlight for you? What do you love about it?

Wedge has always been my favorite character, but Wes has always been the one I identified with the most. Reading the books for the first time as a eleven-ish year-old attention-seeking chaos goblin, the line “You can't look dignified if you're having fun” was one of my favorites I ever read. I wrote it on a bunch of lined paper and taped it up around my room. 😬

To learn more….

If you’d like to read more about Myn’s and Wes’ adventures in the Wraith Squadron series, you can check out the X-Wing: Solo Command page or the general Wraith Squadron page on Wookieepedia, or find Solo Command at your local library, through an independent bookseller, or at your favorite bookstore.

And be sure to check out @from-a-legends-pov and our From a Legends Point of View fanfiction event! Writer signups are now open — you can access the Signup Form here and Signup Guidelines here, as well as our Overview and FAQ.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

may we get some vampdrew 👀🩸

WIP Wednesday (1/31) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 79)

Neil turns towards the sound of his name and grimaces. Oh, god. Of all people, Coach Wymack sent Andrew fucking Minyard to pick him up? Is that bastard even allowed to drive on his medication? Neil wouldn’t have thought so, but he here stands. Well, at least he hasn’t got a racquet on him this time. Not that Neil can see anyhow. 

“Over here,” Minyard says. Then he does a wave that comes off sort of nervous and Neil is thrown off by it. Is this the same man who tried to crush his ribs a month ago? The man who grinned down at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe? What the fuck…

Oh. Right. There’s two of them. Neil’s got the wrong twin. With a new confidence, Neil approaches Aaron and the other smiles awkwardly. 

“Uh, baggage claim?” He asks, pointing somewhere to the side. 

Neil readjusts his duffle, hiking it up onto his shoulder. “Just this.”

“Alright.” Aaron turns on his heel and starts towards the exit without another word. Huh, Neil thinks as he falls in line behind him. Maybe this is a Minyard twin he can stand.

[lolhex12]

i'm probably extremely late to the party but i just realized how deep Andrew's sacrifice and Aaron's betrayal go when it come to the Twinyard's dynamic like??

Andrew, after having spent years alone in the foster system and suffering through the trauma that comes with it, he finally found Cass, a woman who genuinely cared about him and wanted to be his mother - someone he was willing to sell his soul (and body) to the devil for and endure the abuse Drake put him through bc that was just the price he had to pay for Cass' love, care and kindness. all bc he dared being selfish and wanting something for himself for once. he loved her and wanted her love back so bad to the point he would cut himself to cope with being in that house when Cass wasn't looking.

after accepting this new reality of his and resigning himself to the pain (psychological, emotional, physical and self-inflicted), he found out he had a twin brother who looks EXACTLY like him yet got to live a (to his knowledge) stable loving life with their birth mother. that Andrew got thrown away while his carbon copy had everything.

he hated the revelation so he put it out of his mind, went back to Cass' where Drake found out abt Aaron and ran his mouth abt having both twins for himself and... it's not like Andrew hated nor loved or felt any kind of attachment to his brother (who was still basically a stranger to him), and yet he knew, bone-deep, that 1) no one deserved to go through what Andrew had (especially someone 'untouched' (so to speak) who looked like him; as in, the picture in Andrew's mind resembled a young, still innocent, 7y/o Andrew who had not yet fully grasped or learned how to deal with just how cruel the world could be when thinking abt Aaron in the same position), and 2) he didn't want to give Drake the satisfaction.

so, Andrew, after having endured however long Drake's abuse in Cass' household and cutting himself to cope with it, all for the right to stay with her, he gave it all up when he received Aaron's letter asking to meet and rejecting the offer with a 'fuck off' bc he could not risk Aaron getting too close and going through anything remotely similar. he didn't owe his brother anything, nor had they made a deal by that point, yet Andrew, despite not really knowing Aaron, could not risk getting him into his own shit. and so, all those years of pain and sacrifice Andrew had to endure went down the drain bc he wanted to protect a stranger wearing his face, out of his own volition.

Andrew then did sth that landed him in juvie and thought everyone's safe now bc Drake can't get to Aaron anymore, until Aaron visited Andrew in juvie and Andrew noticed the bruises on Aaron's arms and Andrew realized Aaron might not be as safe as he'd thought after all.

ALL that pain and sacrifice thrown away to protect his twin and the fucker still wasn't safe?? mother dearest count your days.

so he got out of juvie early on good behavior (which was a bitch to manage but what was he to do when he had to leave to protect his brother?) and adopted into the Minyard household to see who was hurting his stranger of a brother, for whom Andrew has already given so much up?

Aaron, as we know, agreed to Andrew's deal, not expecting his brother to commit matricide bc of it. a deal which to Andrew seemed simple enough: 'l'll protect you and help you get into med school and become a doctor and all you have to do is stick together with me' (aka not let anyone (women in particular) get between us).

so, after all that sacrifice, after sacrifice, after putting his life on the line by participating in Tilda's car accident, getting his brother clean, curating his friend group to a drug-free environment (later also putting his own reputation with the team on the line by violently getting matt clean for the same reason), getting him a scholarship to get into med school and become a doctor (as agreed), THIS FUCKER could not even hold up his own end of the deal while Andrew literally checked every box and then some for his idiot ungrateful brother.

meanwhile it took Aaron seeing Andrew get sa'd, killing his abuser, and years of joint therapy to begin to comprehend just how much Andrew endured, sacrificed, risked and overall did for him without Aaron even realizing. bc Andrew doesn't do what he does for recognition or gratitude, he does it bc that's what's been agreed to.

---

this is not meant to diss Aaron's character but simply put the entire situation into perspective from Andrew's POV. like, no offence to Aaron but Andrew legit bent over backwards for him and Aaron's response was just "ure a psycho, i choose Katelyn" (or at least that's how Andrew viewed it)

all that being said, Andrew definitely could've communicated the situation and his intentions better, or at least explain how much those deals really meant to him, but unfortunately he wasn't quite there yet (if ever) <- in other words: it wasn't Aaron's nor Andrew's fault. shit's just shit sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[codename-adler]

[s4pphoiduser]

in a world with an aftg show (because it Has to be a show, not a movie) seth would have a Pretty Guy actor playing him who looked even prettier when he was sneering or scowling and people would make edits of him with the velocity + slo-mo effects and be like "i can fix him"

[alvfr]

Also to the anon sending me the accidents hotch pov request just now: yes it’s something im interested in writing ☺️❤️

[onmykneesforhotdilfs]

Pov: you just realized

[theenemyod]

Immortal Aaron x body hopping Call/Maugris is actually the best thing ever because Aaron's just really fucking tired at this point he'd existed since before Adam and Eve and had to deal with all of humanities bullshit, meanwhile Call is a hyperactive ball of chaos who acts like a human bouncy ball when his body doesn't cause him pain and sort of wants to rule the world. Aaron wants to run away and live in the forest or something but can't because they need to be in a place with people so Call has a supply of bodies.

[sequinsmile-x]

Inflamed

/ɪnˈfleɪmd/

verb.  

provoke or intensify strong feelings in someone.

cause inflammation in a part of the body

In which Emily gets appendicitis whilst pregnant and Aaron tries to hold it together.

-x-

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Pregnancy, surgery

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily groans as the alarm goes off, curling even further around her pregnancy pillow, twisting around it like a vine. 

“Turn that fucking thing off,” she complains, all but growling as her husband’s response is a chuckle, quickly followed by silence as he does as she’s asked. 

“Good morning to you too, sweetheart,” he says, sitting up to look down at her, his smile widening at the sight he’s met with. 

At some point in the night, she’d thrown off the covers, and was simply laying next to him in an old t-shirt of his, stretched tight over her belly, and a pair of panties. As long as they’d been together she’d run cold at night, pressing herself against him to steal some of his endless warmth, but that had changed as she tipped from her second trimester into her third. She was always warm now, uncomfortably so at times, and she complained about it as one of the reasons she couldn’t sleep. He’d done everything he could to help. He bought a new mattress that was supposedly self-cooling. He’d dialled up the AC. 

He’d even offered to go sleep in the spare room, well aware that he was part of the reason their bed was so warm, but that had ended up with her crying, worried he didn’t want to sleep next to her because he didn’t find her attractive anymore. 

“You’d be grumpy too if you had a very active baby inside of you who stopped you from sleeping properly.” She says, finally opening her eyes to look at him, a smile breaking out over her face as he presses his hand into her belly. 

“She kept you up all night?” He asks, leaning down to kiss her cheek, smiling when she turns her head to catch his lips.

“Not all night,” she replies, placing her hand over his on her stomach, “Just most of it, and I got really warm. More than usual. I couldn’t get comfortable.” 

He sighs, his hand at her lower back ready to help if she needs it as she sits up, “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“I’m 30 weeks pregnant, honey. Being uncomfortable is just part of the deal,” she says, reaching out to push some of his hair from his forehead. She doesn’t miss how he frowns, a microexpression he clearly tries to hide from her. He always wanted to fix everything, to make everything better, and she knew he struggled in inevitable situations like this where he couldn’t. Regulated to the sidelines where all he could do was hold her hand through it, “Although,” she says, smiling coyly at him, “The one cup of coffee I’m allowed a day would definitely help.” 

Aaron springs into action, leaning forward to kiss her forehead before he gets up, ready to head downstairs to make her coffee.

“One cup of coffee coming up,” he says, winking at her as he opens the door. 

“With two Splendas,” she calls after him, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed so she can stand up to, begrudgingly, get ready for the working day. 

“One Splenda,” he calls back, not even returning to the bedroom, “That stuff is bad for you.” 

She rolls her eyes even though he can’t see her, “Daddy is so mean to mommy,” she says jokingly, rubbing her hand over her belly as she stands up. She’s hit with a wall of nausea as she stands, had enough that she places her hand on the wall to steady herself for a moment as she takes a deep breath. 

She hadn’t felt like this since early on in her pregnancy. When her knees ached from all the time she spent kneeling on the bathroom floor, and the toilet and her became fast friends. She’d been lucky overall -  her morning sickness was something she’d left behind in her first trimester, something that JJ had often lamented made her one of the lucky ones. 

The sensation burns up the inside of her chest and she grimaces, slowly making her way to the bathroom. 

“I don’t know what you’re up to in there sweet girl,” she says, “But it better not get between me and my cup of coffee.” ___

The nausea doesn’t shift. 

She doesn’t think anything of it when she ends up having to dash, or move as quickly as she can nowadays, to the bathroom partway through the morning to throw up. It had been a common occurrence during her first trimester. She’d return from the bathroom to find crackers and ginger ale on her desk, both of which were kept in constant supply in Aaron’s office and his go bag. There was one occasion when he’d pulled a can of ginger ale out of seemingly nowhere when they were at a secured crime scene together, and she was sure in that moment she’d never loved him more. 

As she returns to her desk, carefully sitting in her chair, she feels a pain pull through her stomach. It’s enough to make her grimace, her hand pressed into her bump as it passes. 

“You ok, Em?” 

She turns to look at JJ, rolling her eyes as her friend's gaze flits up to Aaron’s office. She knew they had some kind of agreement to keep an eye on her but she let it slide, reluctantly quite grateful for what she would have once considered coddling.

“I’m fine JJ,” she says, smiling at her, “I think it’s the Braxton Hicks contractions,” she explains, “My doctor said to expect them.” 

“Braxton Hick’s contractions are often referred to as ‘practise’ contractions, but they are quite different,” Spencer says, drawing the attention towards him, “Braxton Hick’s have no discernible pattern, and are more like a mild cramp in comparison to actual labour.”

Emily feels the pain again, grimacing as she rubs at the spot on her right side where it hurts the most. 

“Spence,” she replies, raising her eyebrow at him, “What do I keep saying?” 

He stares at her wide-eyed as if he’d only just realised what he’d said, “If I’m not Hotch, or I don’t have a uterus, I can’t comment on your pregnancy.” 

“Exactly,” she says, not missing how Derek covers a laugh with a cough, his hand over his mouth as he watches the exchange, “So unless you’ve suddenly turned into my husband, or have something to tell us, I’d shut up if I were you.” 

JJ and Derek laugh as Spencer nods, looking back down at his work as if he’d never spoken at all. Emily shakes her head, a smile tugging at her lips, and returns to her own paperwork. The pain, and nausea, continue to build over the next hour or so. 

The next time she goes to the bathroom, flushing the toilet and leaving the stall, she’s met with JJ standing just on the other side of the door, leaning against the counter. She rolls her eyes, approaching the sink to wash her hands. 

“Em, are you sure you’re ok?” JJ asks, concern painted all over her face. 

“I’m fine,” she says, although she’s not entirely sure she means it herself anymore. The pains she was sure were the fake contractions were kicking her ass, and it made her worry about what labour would be like. “I heard you throwing up.” 

Emily turns off the faucet and reaches for some paper towels, her nerves close to snapping as she dries her hands with more force than necessary. 

“I don’t know if this escaped your attention,” she quips, her eyebrow raised, “But I am 7 months pregnant.” 

JJ crosses her arms, matching Emily’s attitude, “And you haven’t been nauseous for months,” she sighs, looking her friend up and down, “You look pale, Em. And you’re clearly in more pain than you’re letting on-”

Before JJ can carry on trying to get through to her friend the door opens, and Aaron walks in, his hands on his hips as he looks at the two of them. 

“Sweetheart, are you ok? You’ve been in here a long time.” 

“Aaron, this is the women’s bathroom,” she says through her teeth, her eyes full of fury as she looks at him. 

“And you’re clearly not well,” he replies, brushing past the fact he shouldn’t be in here with them, “You’ve been sick, and JJ said you’ve been having some pain.” 

Emily sighs, closing her eyes for a moment before she looks at the two of them, “Your little ‘keep on eye on Emily’ club will be the death of me.” 

“That is what we are actively trying to avoid,” JJ says as Aaron steps past her so he can be closer to his wife, his hand on Emily’s lower back. 

Any attempt to reason with her is cut off as she winces, the pain gripping at her like it hadn’t before, taking her breath away. 

“Ok,” she says, grasping at Aaron’s arm, her nails digging into him even through his suit jacket and shirt, “That really did hurt.” 

“I think we should take you to the hospital, Em,” Aaron says, watching as her eyes widen, her refusal to do so clear. 

“We can just go home,” she tries to reason, “I’m sure after a nap I’ll be fine.” 

“Em, we’re going,” he says sternly, using a tone he rarely did outside of work, “We need to make sure everything is ok with her.” 

He knows he’s playing dirty as he says it, placing his hand on Emily’s stomach, and the way her face falls slightly confirms it. His wife had always been stubborn when it came to her own health, often claiming she was fine even when she had a fever and more flu symptoms than he could count, but when it came to those she loved she was militant about it. Forcing him to stay in bed when he was sick. Checking Jack’s temperature every few hours to ensure it wasn’t going in the wrong direction. 

She’d refuse to go to the hospital for herself, but she would go for their daughter. 

“Ok, fine,” she says, clearing her throat to get rid of the slight shake to it, “But when they send us home and say nothing is wrong, you’re buying me ice cream.”

He chuckles, kissing the top of her head to hide how it wavers, his concern for her pushed down as he realises she still hadn’t relinquished her hold on him. A sure sign that the pain she was in hadn’t subsided at all. 

“You can have whatever you want.” 

___

The first thing the doctors do is connect Emily to a fetal heart rate monitor. A reassurance that both she and Aaron had needed that the baby was fine, her heart rate as perfect as it always had been at every appointment. 

The idea of the pain being contractions is quickly dismissed by the ER doctor. Emily’s description of the pain not lining up with what they would expect. It’s the first time Emily is genuinely concerned all day, all the possibilities of what could be wrong flooding her brain as they wait for the on-call OBYGN to come to see them. 

Emily had tried to refuse painkillers, voicing her concerns about what that would mean for the baby, but the nurse had gently explained the pain had increased her, already slightly too high, blood pressure, and that would be a greater issue if they let it carry on.  

“Everything will be ok, Em.” 

She shifts to look at her husband, her hand wrapped tightly around his, and she sighs, “We don’t know that,” she shakes her head at herself, laughing bitterly, “I should have known something was wrong, that it wasn’t contractions. How am I supposed to be a mother if I can’t even protect her when she’s inside of me?” 

She feels the now familiar rush of hormones, her body feeling like it is burning with them as she starts to cry. She wipes furiously at her cheeks with the hand that isn’t linked with his, briefly removing it from her stomach to do so. The pain was nonexistent now, the painkillers she’d been gently encouraged to take doing their job, but it somehow makes her feel worse. 

“Em, sweetheart. You’ve never been pregnant before, so how are you supposed to know” he says, repeating her own words from the car journey to the hospital back at her. The small mantra she’d fallen into as she unnecessarily tried to justify her previous belief that this had just been another normal part of pregnancy. He pulls their joint hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “We’re in the best place right now. And the doctor is going to come to examine you both,” he cups her face to make her look at him, wiping some of her tears away gently, “And you’re an amazing mom, ok? I won’t let you think otherwise. Not even for a second.” 

She chuckles, the sound wet as it catches on a sob, “You won’t let me?” 

He shakes his head, smiling softly at her, “I’ll even call Jack, make him tell you too.” 

She gasps playfully, “Oh no, you’re pulling out the big guns.” 

“Damn right, I am.” He says, kissing her hand again, and she smiles at him, grateful for him in a way she couldn’t possibly explain.

“Emily Prentiss?” 

They both look up, any reprieve they had found in the situation lost as quickly as they had found it as a kind-looking doctor walks into the room. 

“Yeah,” she replies, wincing as she sits up slightly, “That’s me.”

“I’m Dr Mundy,” she says as she walks in, smiling at them as she places Emily’s chart on the table over the bed before she takes a seat on Emily’s right side, “Let’s see what baby is up to shall we?” 

Emily tightens her grip on Aaron’s hand, and he kisses her forehead, a silent reminder that he was there. That he always would be. She barely flinches when Dr Mundy puts the ultrasound jelly on her skin, her usual complaint about how cold it was nowhere to be found. 

“Do you know what you’re having?” Dr Mundy asks conversationally as if she wasn’t looking to see if something was wrong with their baby, and Emily finds herself irrationally irritated by the doctor's kindness. There’s a moment of silence before Dr Mundy speaks again, clearly trying to prompt them, “Just so I don’t tell you accidentally.” 

“A little girl,” Aaron says, keeping an eye on Dr Mundy’s face, attempting to see if her expressions gave her away before she told them what was going on. 

“Oh that’s lovely, all mine are girls,” she replies, her eyes fixed on the screen, “So I can see what the issue is,” she says, “And I can assure you nothing is wrong with your baby,” she tilts the screen so they can look, the image different to what they are used to looking at, their little girl not visible on the screen, “Can you see that tube-like shape there?” 

They both look where she is pointing, and Emily nods, worse-case scenarios once again threatening to overwhelm her. “Yes. What is it?” 

“It is your appendix,” she says, placing the ultrasound wand back down and wiping the jelly from Emily’s stomach, “And whilst it’s been a while since I last did a general surgery rotation, I’d say it’s about twice the size it should be. I’ll have one of my colleagues come in to confirm” 

“Wh…what does that mean?” Emily asks, her hand gripping Aaron’s so hard she’s sure she might break it. 

“It means your appendix is misbehaving, and we’re going to need to get it out.” 

Aaron feels his throat go dry, and he swallows thickly, pushing his own panic down as far as it will go. He could fall apart later when all this was done and Emily and the baby were both fine. 

“She needs to have surgery?” He asks, glad that he has somehow managed to keep his voice even, none of his concern on display.

“Yes, and sooner rather than later.”

___

He paces the hallway the entire time she’s in surgery. Unable to sit still for even a moment, nervous energy making his entire body practically vibrate. 

The kind nurse who had gently talked Emily into taking pain medication takes pity on him, introducing herself as Sara as she updates him regularly despite the surgery taking less than an hour. 

He lets Jessica and the team know what's going on, and briefly talks to Jack who insists on coming in to see Emily. It wasn’t lost on him that this wasn’t the first time his son had begged him to see his mother, his voice cracking around the word ‘mom’ in a way that was achingly familiar. Aaron manages to talk Jack down, assuring him Emily would call him when she could, and that, all being well, she’d be home the following day. 

As soon as he sits next to her, his hand wrapped around hers, her skin warm and familiar, he feels weighed down. All of his previous restlessness is gone in an instant as he raises her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. She almost looked like she was sleeping normally. Her head lulled to the side and her mouth slightly open, the soft snores that had become the norm during her pregnancy slowly filling the room. 

He’d only held her hand once before they got together. It was when she was in hospital after her showdown with Doyle. Everyone else thought she was dead and he’d snuck into her room, determined to see her once before he had to leave, to pretend he thought she was gone too. He’d always been strangely grateful that Haley had been beyond saving. That neither he nor his son had been forced to see her kept alive by machines that would ultimately fail to do what they were designed for. He’d walked into Emily’s room wholly unprepared for what he’d seen, the number of machines she’d been connected to. The tube breathing for her. 

It felt unnatural to see her like that. Someone who had always been so full of life, happy to call him out on his bullshit from the moment they met, laying in silence. He’d sat next to her and reached out, her skin cold against his from the blood loss she’d suffered as he held her hand. He’d made her promises that he wasn’t sure at the time he could keep. That he would bring her home. That he’d keep the team safe. 

That if he saw her again he’d tell her how he felt about her. 

When he looked back on it now he could see the fear she’d so clearly been trying to hide when Doyle was after her, after all of them. The way she was silently screaming for help, although she denied it when she was asked. After that, after he’d buried her, he’d made sure to keep an eye out for it. To watch her carefully to ensure he didn’t miss anything like it again.

As the doctors had wheeled her away to surgery, her hand in his until the last possible second, she didn’t even try to hide her fear from him. She couldn’t have if she wanted to, her emotions clear for all to see, her eyes shining with panic she couldn’t contain. In a way he hates himself for, he wishes she had been able to hide it. The look on her face as the doctor explained that they’d have to do the surgery, that both she and the baby were at risk if they didn’t, was something he’d remember until he took his last breath. This day forever a part of him now, another chink in his armour along with the time he’d spent separated from his son. From when he’d cost Haley her life. 

The first time Emily wakes up it isn’t for long. Only a couple of minutes as she tries to fight the anaesthesia and fails. He holds her hand throughout, gently reassuring her as she panics even though he knows she won’t remember.

It takes almost another hour for her to wake up properly, the groan she lets out as she shifts on the bed enough to let him know she’s lucid this time. 

“Aaron?” 

He stands up and sits on the edge of her bed leaning in to kiss her forehead, “Hi sweetheart.” 

He pulls back and watches as realisation spreads across her face, her eyes going wide as her hand not tangled with his moves to her stomach. Pre-term delivery had been one of the more extreme risks of the surgery, and he knew his wife well enough to know it was likely one of the only ones she remembered. 

“She’s ok, you both are” he assures her, answering the question she hadn’t asked as he squeezes her hand tightly, “She’s still exactly where she should be.” 

“Everything went ok?” She asks, sounding more vulnerable than he had heard her in a long time. Shadows of the woman who had once stood in his office and asked for space to investigate her childhood friend’s death cast across her face. 

“Everything went perfectly,” he nods, reaching for the cup of water on the table next to her, offering it to her so she can take a sip, “They want to keep you in overnight to monitor you both, but they’re sure you’ll be able to go home tomorrow.” 

Relief floods her whole body, and she blows out a breath as she continues to rub circles on her stomach. “Good,” she replies, smiling tightly at him, her lower lip trembling due to the force of her emotions, “Thank you for not saying I told you so,” she adds, chuckling lightly as he looks confused, “For not saying you were right to make us come here.” 

He leans in to kiss her, tucking some hair behind her ear, “Em, sweetheart, I would never say that about something like this. I’m just glad you’re both ok,” he smiles at her, his dimples appearing in a way that she hopes their daughter will inherit from him, “Plus, I think you’re the only person I know who would try and pass off appendicitis as nothing.” 

She rolls her eyes at him, squeezing his hand to let him know it was done with love, “Says the man who once tried to leave the hospital just after he got blown up.” 

Any further conversation is cut off by the clearing of a throat. They both look towards the door to be met by the same nurse, Sara, who had been looking after them all day standing there with a curious look on her face, clearly having heard the tail-end of their conversation. 

“I just need to check your bandages and your incision,” Sara says as she walks into the room, smiling as Aaron stands up, not letting go of Emily’s hand as he gives the nurse room. She smiles at Emily, “This husband of yours definitely got all his steps in today. He didn’t sit down for a second whilst you were in surgery.” she quips, her eyes flashing with something close to poorly covered alarm as she moves Emily’s hospital gown up, revealing the scar she had from Ian. The scar tissue now stretched across her bump, the landscape of her skin once again changing forever. 

Emily winces as her skin pulls in a way that stings, the sensation of a freshly stitched wound something she could never get used to. Aaron squeezes her hand, gaining her attention as she turns her head to look at him. 

“I spoke to Jack,” he says, trying to distract her as the nurse carries on, a sparkle in his eyes, “According to him this means you get to pick dinner for at least a week.”

She chuckles, “That’s my boy.” 

“Is Jack your son?” Sara asks, gently reapplying a fresh bandage to Emily’s stomach. 

“Yes,” Emily replies, a soft smile on her face, “He’s our eldest.” 

They had long stopped explaining their family dynamic to people. They’d followed Jack’s lead on it, allowing him to decide Emily’s role in his life. He’d started calling her mom just before they got married, a change that had come out of nowhere and rendered her briefly speechless. Haley was and always would be a part of their lives, and Emily knew, having heard her last words, that she’d be happy Jack was loved. 

“Sounds like a mama’s boy.” 

Aaron laughs, leaning down to kiss the top of his wife’s head, “Like you wouldn’t believe,” Emily rolls her eyes in response, he waits until they are alone again before he carries on, “I’m just hoping this one ends up being on my side or I’ll be forever outnumbered.” 

Emily chuckles, shaking her head at her husband, “In your dreams, honey,” she says as he sits back down on the bed, “She’s 100% going to be on my side,” she jokes, her eyes crinkling with the force of her smile, “As she should, given the fact I’m the one growing her.” 

He smiles, pressing his hand into her belly and chuckling when he feels the familiar movement underneath, “Well, I can’t argue with that.” 

She looks him up and down. Even with her head swimming with painkillers and the lasting effects of the anaesthetic, she could see how he was barely holding himself together. His hair was a mess, a sign he’d spent their time apart running his hands through it. His tie was shoved unceremoniously into his suit jacket pocket, a small bit of the silk material sticking out, and the top button of his shirt was undone. To anyone who cared to look, he looked flustered, as you would expect of someone whose pregnant wife had required emergency surgery.

But she knew she saw more than anyone else, that she was the only person he’d let see it. 

His jaw was tense, his teeth clenched together in a way she knows his dentist will chastise him for when he next goes. The bags under his eyes seemed more pronounced. She knew him well enough to know the comparisons he would have been making. Thinking what she’d gone through before, and what he’d lost. It makes guilt briefly overwhelm her, her cheeks burning pink with it. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, smiling sadly at him as his eyes meet hers, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “For worrying you. For being stupid about coming here.” 

“Oh, sweetheart no,” he replies, shifting closer, kissing her cheek before he rests his forehead against hers, “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he closes his eyes and allows himself to enjoy the feeling of her so close by. Of her breath skipping across his face, their little girl shifting beneath Emily’s skin between them. Being near her, near them, manages to close up all the wounds that had reopened that afternoon. A solace he can’t believe he ever lived without. “It’s just been a long day.” 

She nods, their foreheads knocking slightly, before she cups the back of his head, encouraging him to pull back to look at her. 

“You’re telling me,” she jokes, her smile fading slightly as her eyes catch the time on the clock on the wall, well aware that visiting hours would likely be over soon, “You’re going to have to go soon.” 

“I’ll see if I can talk someone into-”

“No,” she says, shaking her head, forcing a smile, “You should. You need some rest, and Jack will be worried. He’ll need you. Baby Girl and I will be just fine.” 

He wants to argue but knows it won’t achieve anything, so he simply nods in agreement, “I suppose even you would struggle to get yourself into trouble in a hospital.” 

She gasps in outrage, and any response she may have had is swallowed up in a kiss. 

“Aaron?” She asks as she pulls back, scrunching her nose up slightly. 

“Yes, Em?”

“Is it just me, or have Pen and Derek completely ruined the phrase ‘baby girl?’” 

-x-

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[crazy-fangirl2524]

More happy than not

Aaron should be happy. He got everything he wants. Well not in the ways he wants or expects, but still he should be more than content. He has his loving cousin, a team he is begrudgingly tolerating, decent grades, his relationship with his brother is somehow mending because of some meddling ginger, and he got a boyfriend.

A sweet, caring, hot, smart boyfriend. Never in a million years will Aaron ever expect himself to date Kevin Day but here he is, in Kevin’s arms, lounging on the couch, Kevin reading some history books he like and Aaron napping until he woke up.

“Hey, I got to go practice, see you later,” giving Aaron a light peck, Kevin leaves, following Andrew and Neil to their car.

The thing is, Aaron only has Kevin because Andrew has Neil. Aaron knows that he is never the first choice, no, he isn’t even an option. Even before Kevin asked him out Aaron knows deep down, but Aaron is a masochist so he accepts because it is better to be the replacement and have a part of Kevin’s heart than none at all.

Every time Kevin leaves to practice with Andrew and Neil Aaron’s heart breaks a little more. But every kiss from Kevin brings those pieces back together, but it will never be whole because how can Aaron’s heart be whole when he knows that when Kevin is kissing Aaron all he is thinking about is Andrew. That Kevin wishes it is Andrew he is touching instead of Aaron. Aaron has accepted these facts since he agreed to be Kevin’s boyfriend. Yet it still hurts. Especially seeing the way Kevin’s eyes lit up when he sees Andrew actually putting in effort, and how Kevin turns away whenever Andrew kisses Neil. Of course Aaron has noticed all these details.

All these Aaron tries to convince himself maybe it is all his assumptions and paranoia. But a few months into their relationship, Kevin confesses when they are discussing past relationships.

“Yeah, my first kiss is actually Jean, not Thea. But then we were too afraid to do anything about it.”

“Do you regret it?”

“A little,” Kevin says honestly. One thing Aaron loves about Kevin is his ruthless honesty that people think is rude or heartless. But Aaron loves how he doesn’t hide anything. Doesn’t mean that his sharp, true words didn’t make his heart bleed.

“But I will always love Jean, as a friend. I’m just super happy for him and Jeremy, I’m glad he has him. I just hate how I left him and couldn’t be there for him.” Aaron squeezes Kevin tighter, and Kevin presses a kiss into Aaron’s hair and Aaron cannot help but melt.

“Just Thea then?” Aaron asks.

“Well, I think I did have a crush on Andrew.” Kevin says guiltily. Aaron tightens his arms around Kevin. “He is just there, promising to protect me from Riko. And, I was so lost, doesn’t help that he is also attractive.” Kevin winks at Aaron. Aaron feels like he cannot breath.

“Is it just Kaitlyn for you?” Kevin asks.

“Yeah,” and Aaron doesn’t elaborate because they all know the story.

It’s been several months since that conversation but there isn’t a single day that Aaron hasn’t thought about it. He trusts Kevin that he will never do anything to betray Aaron. And of course Andrew will never ever cheat on Neil. Anyone that knows them know that.

So, Aaron just lives with the fact that he is not the person his boyfriend wants but just the stand in, the next best thing Kevin can have because Aaron is just right there and conveniently looks like Andrew.

Every kiss from Kevin kills and melts him. Every hug from Kevin leaves him breathless. Every time they fuck Aaron feels like crying because of how good it is and-

Aaron Minyard should be grateful for all that he has now because he never thought he will mount to anything. So this is already more than he deserves.

[hella1975]

part 2 of tkm highlights

I apparently had no commentary on chapter 17 or the epilogue but I DID lose my mind. anyway. craziest thing about these books is definitely the fact the british gangsters seriously showed up completely coincidentally and nothing different is ever confirmed. evidently not what I was expecting

the brits know how to pull up 😂😂😂😂💪💪💪💪💪

[from-a-legends-pov]

Star Wars Legends: Poll of the Week - Favorite Wraith Backstory, part 1

In the Star Wars Legends novel X-Wing: Wraith Squadron, Wedge Antilles and Wes Janson put together a new kind of group for the New Republic Navy – a combination commando unit and starfighter squadron. To conserve resources, Wedge and Wes recruited the initial members of the squadron largely from pilots who had promising skills, but had been identified as misfits or at risk of washing out of the New Republic navy.

Wedge, Wes, and ten other pilots with a variety of skills and backstories made up the original roster of Wraith Squadron (initially known as Gray Squadron).

Of these five original Wraiths to join Wedge and Wes, whose backstory is your favorite? (We’ll ask about the other half of the roster in part 2.)

Falynn Sandskimmer, an ace Y-wing pilot from Tatooine who was extremely sick of being compared to a certain X-wing pilot from Tatooine, and often got charged with insubordination for voicing her low opinion of Luke Skywalker and other famous Rebels.

Voort “Piggy” saBinring, a Gamorrean who had been genetically engineered for high intelligence and mathematical abilities, so skilled that he could do navigation calculations without an astromech and was an expert in pattern recognition; he had been charged with insubordination because other officers kept attempting to start fights with him, and merely blocking their punches was enough to get charged.

Myn Donos, a Corellian sniper and pilot who was the lone survivor when his former squadron, Talon Squadron, was ambushed; Talon Squadron was lured into the ambush thanks to false intelligence planted by Imperial agent Gara Petothel, and Donos was so troubled by the incident that he no longer would wear the Corellian bloodstripes he had earned previously.

Kell Tainer, an ace pilot and demolitions expert from Alderaan whose father, also a pilot, panicked during an early mission for the Rebellion and tried to flee, forcing Wes Janson to shoot him down and prompting Kell’s family to change their name due to his father’s reputation for cowardice; he constantly sought to be the best and to somehow make up for his father’s failings.

Jesmin Ackbar, a Mon Calamari and the niece of Admiral Gial Ackbar; Jesmin was a gifted pilot and communications expert but kept getting assignments way beneath her abilities, because nobody wanted to be the commanding officer who got Admiral Ackbar’s niece killed.

Hungry for more Legends content? Follow @from-a-legends-pov and check out our upcoming Star Wars Legends fanfiction event, From a Legends Point of View, HERE. Signups open April 28 — please encourage your favorite Star Wars writers to participate!