#know anything ab the other foxes beyond what neil knows himself

[s4pphoiduser]

in a world with an aftg show (because it Has to be a show, not a movie) seth would have a Pretty Guy actor playing him who looked even prettier when he was sneering or scowling and people would make edits of him with the velocity + slo-mo effects and be like "i can fix him"

[rose-of-the-court-blog]

A Little Bit of Gay History

Inspired by this hilarious post: x

I took some (a lot) of liberties with this, especially with the beginning, but I hope no one minds! This is my first fic for the aftg series, so hopefully the characters aren’t too ooc :’) 

By the way, I don’t necessarily like writing Kevin as a constant drunk. So this is a one-time dealio. My next fic will be ab him overcoming his dependency on drinking <3 I love Kevin Day y’all

Neil Josten was used to nights out in Columbia. He enjoyed the drive, the house, and the time spend with the Monsters, his family. It was a time where all five of them could relax (sort of). Neil had gone with the Monsters a dozen nights and expected the same order of events to happen each time: drive, Eden’s Twilight, dragging Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin’s drunk asses home, then properly relax at the house. What he wasn’t expecting tonight, however, was a drunk ass Kevin practically clinging to Neil by the end of the night.

Earlier in the evening, Kevin and Aaron had done competitive shots and did so many they lost count and couldn’t tell who won. Next, Kevin joined Nicky at the bar to try out some of Roland’s new mixes. Then Kevin shared a quiet drink with Andrew after he’d been dancing. It was around this time that Neil noticed that Kevin’s green eyes had gone a bit hazy and his stance a but wobbly.

Andrew had silently gotten up, which meant Neil and Kevin did too, but he motioned for them to stay. Neil figured he was either going to the bathroom or going to find his wayward twin and cousin. Normally, Neil was fine with being alone with Kevin. Tonight, however, has turned out to be a different story and had Neil fervently wishing Andrew to make a hasty return.

“Neil, I need you to listen” demanded Kevin. “Listen!”

Kevin grabbed Neil’s shirt and shook him a little, as if he could make Neil magically listen to his profound insights by force. He’d been trying to gain Neil’s attention for the five minutes. Even though Neil was with him and listening to his rambling the entire goddamn time. 

Neil closed his eyes. He had a headache.

“Do you understand? Neil, do you understand anything at all?”

Kevin may be family, but that didn’t mean Neil didn’t want to sock him right in the throat.

Neil took a deep breath. “No, Kevin, I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything of what you’re saying. Do you know why? Because you have yet to get to the fucking point you useless vodka-fucking bastard.”

“You can’t fuck vodka.”

“You’re right. It’s a talent only you’ve personally achieved. Congrats”

“How would that even work? Vodka is a liquid-- wait. Lubricant.”

Neil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could do nothing but stare as Kevin drunkenly pulled out his phone to google it, almost dropping his phone three times in the process. Neil wanted Andrew to hurry back more than ever.

Andrew.

The very thought of Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky coming back to Kevin spouting nonsense about using vodka for motherfucking lube was enough to make Neil desperate. He didn’t want to think of the consequences of Kevin and Nicky bonding over hypothetical alcohol-based lubricants. No. Just...no.

Reaching up on his tiptoes, and hating himself and Kevin all the more for it, he made a desperate grab for the phone. “No. Shit, no. Hold still. Kevin don’t you dare--”

“Apparently,” Kevin loudly began, easily evading Neil’s grabby hands thanks to his gigantic asshole height. “vodka as a lubricant would be very unpleasant thanks to the acidic properties. What a shame.”

Neil grabbed Kevin’s arm, yanked it down, and then used Kevin’s newly healed hand to slap Kevin in the face with it.

“Stop that,” Kevin hissed. He yanked his arm back, harshly, from Neil’s grip and overbalanced, falling back into the wall with a thud. Kevin blinked. Then slowly began sliding down the wall to the floor in all his drunken glory.

Neil wasn’t impressed. “You deserved it.”

Kevin’s eyes were still hazy, but he managed to scowl all the same. “If anyone deserves to be smacked it’s you. You haven’t been listening this entire time.”

“That’s because you never got to the actual point. You’ve just been talking nonsense at me this entire time.”

“Nonsense?!” Kevin spluttered. “the gay history of the world isn’t nonsense!”

What.

“What?”

Kevin scoffed. “You never listen.”

Neil was two seconds away from committing murder. Family be damned.

When Kevin opened his mouth to speak again, Neil was quick to interrupt him. “You can tell me all about your history stuff later, but right now Andrew is coming back and we need to start heading back to the tower.” That last part was a lie, but Kevin didn’t need to know that.

“The junkie is right. Get up, time to go.”

Neil startled so badly that he nearly toppled over and landed on Kevin. A hand shot out and grabbed Neil’s bicep and pulled him back abruptly. He turned and gave Andrew a grateful look, who squeezed his bicep gently before releasing him. 

“Jeez, Neil, be careful!” Nicky laughed, arriving out of nowhere to Neil’s right. Seems like Neil was correct in assuming Andrew went to look for his family. When Neil turned back around he saw Aaron lifting Kevin up and putting one of his arms around his shoulders. Privately, Neil thought they looked ridiculous with two drunk-out-of-their-mind men leaning on each other, with one being pint sized and the other a giraffe with a queen tattoo, but wisely chose not to say anything.

Wymack would be so proud.

Andrew turned, having established that Aaron could handle Kevin, and led them all through the exit to the Maserati. To home. 

Neil had all but nearly forgotten the Incident That Shall Not Be Named by the time Monday rolled around. Andrew had perfectly distracted him all weekend, with witty remarks and truths and kisses, that Neil didn’t really give Kevin’s odd ramblings a second thought. 

Andrew had subtly asked him what Kevin was on about when he’d arrived, but Neil had been stubbornly silent on the matter. Neil wasn’t going to be repeating any of what he heard to Andrew. He didn’t want to relapse into another headache.

Now, though, Neil was coming back from his morning jog. The day was starting off nicely. He’d woken up, limbs entangled with Andrew from their chests to their toes, the closest they’d ever held each other. A morning kiss (and the subsequent complaint that Andrew would never allow this again because morning breath wasn’t worth it. Neil knew better though). Being allowed to wear Andrew’s favorite hoodie while out on his jog. The crisp, cool morning air--

Ping!

Neil stopped. It took a moment, but then he remembered the iphone Allison had bought him. He rarely used it, but he knew the sound the his email notification going off. It was frustrating how every little sound the device made gave Neil small bouts of fright. Ridiculous. 

Scowling, Neil pulled the damn phone from his lower pocket in his cargo shorts (jorts forever banned by the Foxes’ collective effort -- even Aaron’s). Pulling up the email, however, Neil quickly became confused. Why was Kevin e-mailing him?

To: Neil Josten

From: Kevin Day

Subject: The Affair of Radu III and Mehmed

Surely, this was a mistake? After all, Neil distinctly remembered Kevin rambling on about a paper he was doing on a man named Radu III. Neil hadn’t paid much more attention beyond that detail because it was about history and honestly? Fuck that.

But why was the subject titled “The Affair of Radu III and Mehmed” then? What kind of history essay was this?

What the fuck, Neil thought. What. The. Fuck.

...

Neil clicked it.

“DELETE IT!” Kevin roared. “NEIL, I’LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL IF YOU DON’T DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!”  

With a shit-eating grin, Neil dodged Kevin’s tackle and made a break for it.

“NEIL!”

Everyone was staring at them. 

Neil didn’t dwell on this. There was no point. In the matters of life and death there was only you and the mean of survival. For Neil, that meant getting to the other side of the court and into the goalies post as fast as possible.  

A jump over some fallen exy balls, running in zig zags through his teammates, a mad dash to the goal-- 

“Andrew!” Neil called, breathless, coming closer to him. Andrew was there, watching the entire chaos unfold, and making no effort to help him. Neil slowed down.

A fatal mistake.

A hard body collided with him, tumbling them both down to the court, with Neil face-planting right at Andrew’s feet.

“Got you, you shitty little gremlin.” Kevin spoke menacingly in French.

One moment Neil was wheezing and gasping for air, and in the next, the body was suddenly off of him. Neil took the opportunity to turn on his back.

Andrew had grabbed Kevin and lifted him off Neil and was now leveling a severe gaze at him. For once, Kevin ignored the threat Andrew posed in favor of the one Neil had.

Neil slowly grinned up at him, and responded in French. “Gay history, huh?”

Kevin made to lunge at him again but Andrew put his arm out and stopped it. 

“What the hell is going on?” Dan demanded. 

“Kevin and Neil both messing around during practice?” Allison peered down at them, haughty, but curious. “I have to know what’s going on. Come on, tell us the drama.” 

Renee put a placating hand on Allison’s arm and put herself in the middle between the three around the goal and the rest of the foxes. Her smile was kind but her voice was firm. “Their business is their business. You all should know that by now.”

“We know that,” Matt protested, who was looking very bewildered right now. It’d be comical if only Neil weren’t facing Death By Not-So-Heterosexual-Kevin right about now. “But come on! We can’t help being curious. Exy is like their life blood, they never do this.”

“Some things are more important than exy,” Kevin gritted out. A shocked silence filled the court.

“Holy shit.” someone whispered. Neil was too focused on Kevin’s deepening scowl to investigate.

“Do you think this has anything to do with what Kevin was talking about at Eden’s?” Nicky loudly whispered to Aaron, who shrugged. 

“What happened at Eden’s?” asked Allison. 

“Nothing,” stressed Kevin.

“Nothing, huh?” Neil snorted. 

“You stay quiet.”

Neil opened his mouth to tell Kevin to fuck off but just as he was doing so Wymack burst in.

“What the actual fuck is going on here? Dan, Kevin, Neil, explain. Right now.”

Before Dan or Kevin could speak, Neil took his chance. “Kevin accidentally sent me his history essay this morning instead of his teacher. It was a 7 page analysis on the gay relationship between Mehmed and Rabu III, the brother of Vlad the Impaler, and how historians continuously overlook their affair due to heteronormativity.”

“Excuse me,” Nicky cut in. “What.”

Neil shrugged and waved his harm towards Kevin dramatically. “Not-so-heterosexual-Kevin is real.”

Kevin narrowed his eyes at him. “I never said I was heterosexual. Just that is was easier.”

“So, like, you’re what? Are you bi?” Allison asked. 

“Smooth.” 

“Hush, Dan. I need answers.”

“Same,” Nicky agreed.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Me being bisexual has nothing to do with the game. Leave it alone and get back to practice. A year later and I’m still disappointed in your subpar playing.”

“Hey now, you can’t just write an entire essay on the gay affairs of royalty figures, drop that bisexual bomb, and then tell us to drop it!”

“I can, and I will, Nicky.”

“And I don’t have enough whiskey for all this,” Wymack said. He had his hand covering his face as if that’d protect him from the stupidity he was surrounded by.

Suddenly, Nicky grinned. “Dark Kevin, tell us all how gay history really is.”

Kevin sighed. He looked to the ceiling as if the heavens could save him and then closed his eyes. “Everything. Everything is fucking gay.”