#this is extremely inconvenient to me
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Stupid winter got me again
#i feel like shit today#this is extremely inconvenient to me#beacuse i'm not alone in my place#and cannot do whatever i like when i'm not feeling well#damn#fucking winter
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mojang did not have to make wardens so cute but they did anyway and i appreciate that but it makes it very hard to play the game in survival. because any time i spawn one on accident and tower away, i can hear it whining and it sounds so SAD and i have to be like im sorry baby......i know you need to kill some prey for enrichment but i do not want to die today......maybe another time
#it reminds me of when my cats are trying to play with my stuff or something. like i love you baby and i dont want you to be sad but this-#-will be Extremely inconvenient for me#text#minecraft
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Whenever I check the Hange tag I remember why I stopped
#STOP PUTTING THEM IN A DRESS JESUS CHRIST#honestly even if they theoretically were a woman their fashion style tends to lean masculine#like i gen can't imagine them wearing a dress#i feel like they'd find it restrictive and inconvenient#in a formal setting they'd prob wear a suit tbh#snk#hange zoe#rambles#and another thing#all I see is SHE HER WOMAN PREGNANCY#LIKE STOP YOU'RE GIVING ME SECONDHAND DYSPHORIA THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED#extremely personal rant don't mind me
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I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)
SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??
OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS
I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).
Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀
Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.
(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)
(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)
Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.
#ginger answers asks#Thank you SO much for letting me talk about this even a little it always makes me smile#Despite their disputes - if you ask me Apollo was quite fond of Heracles#And I think a big part of why I ultimately come to that conclusion is that Apollo never hinders Heracles or withholds blessings from him#He simply calls him a bitch every time he sees him and then makes his life marginally more inconvenient#like any good older brother let's be so fr#It's extremely charming to see him so playful with a mortal he's not in love with/that is not his son#Other moments of Apollo teasing Heracles includes him trying to convince Artemis not to let Heracles catch her doe when he comes#to fulfill that particular labour (again he doesn't actually try to stop it he just puts up a bit of a fuss about it)#and perhaps another of my all time favourites#Personally luring Heracles into Admetus' house so Heracles can wrestle Thanatos while Apollo rescues Alcestis#I DO NOT KNOW WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE LUNACY OF APOLLO'S ADMETUS/ALCESTIS PRESERVATION PLAN#He really said “No yeah I know a guy don't worry about Death Incarnate” and then Heracles shows up at Admetus' door like this is a sitcom#The laugh track that plays in my mind every time Admetus opens that door sees Heracles and then looks back at the disguised Apollo like#'HIM?? HERACLES?? Heracles who can break me in seven pieces with a thought Heracles???'#And Apollo just gives him a thumbs up and says “feed him well pookie <33”#Genuinely some of the funniest shit I have the pleasure of reading in greek myth#Another reason I don't think Apollo has any ill will against Heracles though is how Apollo reacts when Heracles#loses Hylas in the Argonautica#Or well some versions of the Argonautica - this is also a story that changes wildly depending on the source/compilation#But Apollo is incredibly sympathetic to Heracles' sorrow and kind of decides there and then that Heracles losing one love#should be the return of another and asks that Zeus let Heracles free Prometheus when he makes his descent into the underworld#Similarly it is Apollo who anoints Alcaeus/Alcides the name Heracles (also dependent on the myth source)#They just had a very fun relationship and it's a serious shame that it's not acknowledged more#apollo#heracles#greek mythology#(Also people do not talk about the fact that Apollo grappled with Heracles to a standstill enough actually)
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One of these days. One of these days, I will figure out what the hell makes the tipping point beyond which either a) there’s socialization that I feel insulated from and kind of numb about and too tired to pursue, or b) socialization where the very notion of so much as expressing one (1) internal thought or emotion suffuses my whole body with adrenaline and blaring Nope instincts.
#don’t get me wrong I think I *do* feel fairly Normal about. idk. a good portion of my social interactions#enough that I can go about my daily life just fine#but the numb times and the freeze-or-flight times are always Mightily inconveniently timed#with regards to actually forming new friendships#and there’s a certain threshold of Acknowledging that I Personally Exist where it *all* becomes freeze-or-flight fffff#(it goes like this: I start to think ‘it’d be kind of neat if—‘)#(and then I consider the actual logistics of getting TO the If. and one way or another — fear or tiredness — it becomes ‘ah. right. nvm.’)#(and then if it’s a bad day I have the further thought that the If probably wouldn’t be fulfilling for other involved parties anyway)#(which is. self defeating in the extreme and a distortion and I know it. >_>)#(but it’s ALSO objectively true on some specific axis and like. mm. some nights finding that balance is hard I guess)#(on the one hand not putting myself down but on the other hand being realistic about what I need vs. what other people need)#(and the fact that there are just some types of socialization that just aren’t a good fit for me)#(and that I can’t be for or have with other folk without burning out spectacularly)#life flails#mental health flails#my stuff#complaining
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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fuck
well fuck
#[🔮] rambles ~#well thats one eloquent way to put it#KDJSJSUDJSHSJSJSHAHSHSJAJAAAAAAAAAASJDJDJIDJDHDJDUDUD {<- me and my thoughts rn}#UGHHHHH#I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL TF#DHHEJSJDHD#FUCK#what an AMAZING time to start having feelings :////////#IDK I LIKE IT BUT I DONT BUT I DO BUT WTF#AND I CANT GET DISTRACTED MORE THAN I ALREADY AM#BUT UFHHHHH#DJDJJSJS#this is literally all im capable of expressing rn#fuck#AAAAAAAA#its like my brain got tired of me tap dancing around and refusing my feelings#“nahhhh i dont like himmm ” <- me saying from three years and having managed to mostly convince myself and lock up the rest of thefeelings#-in The Box Of Things I Dont Think About#my brain tired of my bullshit: violently shoves extremely vivid and sweet dream that i will not forget so that i finally realise#ive been thinking abt him but avoiding thinking abt him the whole day at the samr time 😭😭😭😭#ESP SINCE IVE COME HOME BC I DONT WANT MY MOM TO NOTICE#but UGH#I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT HIM THEN STOPPING MYSELF DURING THE EXAM CRYING FOR FUCKS SAKE#i have refused to think abt this till it is shoved into my head again <- will think then stop myself then think again then stop myself then#FEELINGS ARE SO INCONVENIENT OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAA#delete later#i cannot bear to have the evidence 😭😭
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debating kicking a hornets nest....
#the hornets nest is that you cannot separate the natural multiplicity and anti psych plural movements#from medical trauma and the abuse of the psychiatric system like those were extremely relevant foundation experiences#of the people involved and as a medical and psychiatric abuse survivor watching ppl act like it was#all about not wanting to be seen as disabled it crazy pisses me off and reminds us we are never#going to be safe in cdd spaces because our trauma is always going to be brushed off when its inconvenient for the narrative#collective chatter
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man
#i do wonder if my parents actually love me or if they love the idea of what i could have been#i want to hug child me and tell them it'll be okay that we're still alive#you went through so much you were so hurt and so misunderstood#nobody knew what to do with you#and now we have to pick up the pieces of you and hope for the best that we can keep the grown up version of us alive#you didn't deserve any of this little one#how could you tell a small child they were an attention-seeking manipulator for being in pain#how could you blame hallucinations on being *gifted*#and how could you ruin our two tries at therapy with saying we appeared perfectly normal to them#weve had extreme documented mood swings since we could walk how could you think we were just gifted don't you know this ignorance is a curs#i don't know what you did wrong but all three of your kids expressed suicidal ideation by age 8 despite doing your best#how could you try your best and still *fail*#why do i have to pick up the pieces of a child forcibly infantilised yet forced to grow up so fast#why isn't our suffering acknowledged#how did you make us so scared to inconvenience anyone how did you convince us we don't deserve medical care because were not ill#how did you convince us we don't need stuff yet make us yearn for physical objects#how did you make us feel so irredeemably evil for simply existing
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Anyone else miss the days when technology was actually easy to use and didn't require 375 different subscriptions for a bunch of simple things and AI wasn't constantly hovering over your shoulder stealing your stuff
#al talks#i am currently seething over my computer right now#like I would straight up just buy a typewriter except that would extremely messy and inconvenient for both me and my printing/publishing-#company#if technology is supposed to make life easier why is it like this
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in praise of worldbuilding
Sterling silver foxes. That’s all.
#They can steal your laughter??!!#And that can kill you!!!#They have cities made of shiny metal#They wear a ton of jewelry#They are actually human looking I believe but their ears are pointy#If I were to be any dark mage it would be them because I too love collecting shiny rocks and looking at them#Basically geologists#kingdoms and empires#jaclyn moriarty#Info gathered from these books:#The extremely inconvenient adventures of Bronte Mettlestone#the astonishing chronicles of oscar from elsewhere#the slightly alarming tales of the whispering war#The stolen Prince of Cloudburst#worldbuilding#magic systems#Oh and I forgot this: If your laughter is stolen your skin will start to become blue#Also it took me way too long to get the pun in their name because I did an audiobook of the first one in the series and wasn’t paying#Attention until a couple books later lol
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Every time I go anywhere I am pretty much the only person wearing a mask. At the doctor's appointment before last, the nurse actually told me I could take it off if I wanted and I had to be like, "no I'm wearing this on purpose because I don't want to get the plague and die, actually."
So anyway i just want all my followes to know from the bottom of my heart that if you're not still wearing a mask when you leave your house and go to indoor locations where other people also go, and have the physical and financial ability to do so, I personally think you're a dipshit asshole <3
#sorry lmao it's just that my life has been catastrophically disrupted#and is never going to be the same again in ways i can't think about for more than 30 seconds#or I'm overwhelmed by blind grief and rage#and I'm not even in as much danger as other sick/disabled people!#and the fact that so many people refuse to do an extremely simple measure#that not only protects others but THEM AS WELL#because it is like. SLIGHTLY inconvenient.#makes me want to start hooting and throwing things like an angry chimpanzee
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but like what do i do now. i haven’t had nothing to do in a long time. what.
#my brain is glitching i feel like i need to watch a lecture#i can’t even earn some money my workplace doesn’t want me unless it’s extremely inconvenient for me
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i have felt like hot garbage all evening but i am now feeling slightly more human so i am going to sit here and hopefully do something in the way of writing. what that will be - who tf knows
#;forever yelling into the abyss (ooc)#( me when i suffer extreme pain every day: nah i don't need to take any meds for this i'm fine )#( me when a cold slightly inconveniences me: so this is the end i guess )
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why is half of armin fanfic really sweet and in the other half he’s literally a murderer
#like can someone please explain where this version of fanon armin came from??#i know he’s tactically manipulative but like bffr#like i just don’t understand why you would want to read some of the shit i see ab him honestly#like why would i want to read the inner monologue of armin considering the thought of killinh me when i find out his Big Secret#like sometimes it’s fine but y’all get so extreme with it#it hurts my soul#armin is such an inconvenient comfort character to have#shinjeki no kyojin#aot#snk#armin arlert#attack on titan
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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