#how could you blame hallucinations on being *gifted*

[thorntopieces]

man

[cultpastorkevin]

Cult Tips for AFTG writers

notes from the resident ex-cult pastor

If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.

When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.

I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks

Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.

You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.

On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.

There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.

Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; also Stockholm Syndrome; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.

Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.

Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.

Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and stockholm. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!

EDIT AGAIN: you don’t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.

Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hello! Been reading your twilight posts recentlt and was wondering what you think might have happened if James had killed Emmett in the ballet studio, particularly how it would have affected Rosalie/her dynamic with the Cullens?

Bella feels horribly guilty to learn that her stupid plan to save her mother (who had not been kidnapped) as well as the fact that she drew James's attention in the first place (which would not have happened had she not intruded in the Cullen's world where she feels she doesn't belong) got someone killed. Not just someone, either, but one of the Cullens, Edward's beloved brother, and Emmett who seemed so nice for all she didn't know him that well.

Bella is devastated and feels increadibly guilty and horrible.

This is made worse by Rosalie's (understandable if not ideal) reaction where I imagine she blames Bella to her face. This never would have happened if Bella had not been involved in their lives, not come to that baseball game, or if they hadn't saved her from that stupid van/killed her the night after like Rosalie wanted to. Rosalie feels as if she's traded Emmett for Bella and she hates that.

Edward of course blames Rosalie for having the worst reaction possible and actively driving Bella into a depression.

I imagine Rosalie leaves, Edward clearly isn't leaving Bella (as I imagine he'd want to hold on a little longer/this wouldn't be the New Moon wakeup call for him) and she wants time on her own to grieve/not get into fights with Edward over whose fault it is that Emmett died. No doubt Rosalie also blames the family somewhat as if they had sided with her and chosen not to protect Bella, Emmett would be alive. It's understandable why they wanted to protect Bella but it also was dangerous and risked someone dying for what. Rosalie needs some time to process alone.

Bella now feels she's driven Rosalie out of the family, this makes her guilt even worse.

I imagine Bella actively tries to avoid the Cullen household that summer (unlike canon) as being there reminds Bella of what happened/she believes it reminds the Cullens of what happened...

Honestly, I think Bella dumps Edward. She tries to hang on to him but as the weeks go by and his family is clearly falling apart, and it's all her fault, and he's sitting there being so sweet when she just effectively murdered his brother...

I don't think Bella could do it, it'd be too much and she'd double down on "Edward deserves better than me". Especially when she can justify that Edward can't read her thoughts, he's clearly too good to ever blame her when she deserves it, and she can say to herself "Edward doesn't realize how awful of a person I am."

So, Bella breaks up with him so that he can have someone better, his family can move, and they can heal. Edward is shocked and horrified but in the midst of his despair and depression remembers that this was what he wanted, he wanted to leave Bella eventually and her doing it versus him might be better. So, Edward leaves immediately and steals all her pictures/every gift he ever gave her.

Bella sinks into her New Moon depression immediately (made worse by Emmett's death and the fact that Bella did this herself and now is weak for wanting to take back her decision and oh god she's the worst person on the planet).

The Hallucination Edward times are even more fraught as Bella feels doubly guilty in that she shouldn't want to summon Edward and yet she can't live without him. I imagine this results in even riskier behavior as Bella genuinely thinks she should die and gets closer and closer to actively wanting it.

Bella probably succeeds in killing herself.

(The Jacob thing here... I don't know if he could help because the thing is Bella despises herself so much/feels so guilty and Jacob has no context for understanding this even if he becomes a wolf (added that Bella now is responsible for people dying because Victoria is actively hunting her) that I don't think Bella can use her friendship with him to claw her way out of depression.

He'd probably just make her feel worse given he shifted because of Victoria which is because of her and have we mentioned Emmett is dead?)

I imagine Alice does not tell Rosalie in part because Rosalie's not near her when it happens also because... well... bad history and Alice blames Rosalie for this mess.

This means no one tells Edward.

Edward's suicide is thus put off for as long as he feels he can live without Bella. When he breaks and goes to check on her, he discovers she's died and goes to Volterra to kill himself where no one is able to stop him from breaking the law.

[the-ellia-west]

Merry Christmas Everyone - Character Trauma

Sorry, Y'all. I'm a day late.

I wish I could have posted yesterday but this wasn't on my mind at all lol. I was very sick yesterday, but at least I'm alive!

Here's my Christmas gift to y'all!

Harsh characters vs Kinder Characters - These are general vibes --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kind/Cute Characters -

Constantly Apologizing

Trying to help people 24/7

Always worried about Disappointing people

Constantly avoiding answering questions

Lying about being okay

Blaming themselves

Always Guilty

Jumpy

Always inches away from crying

Always doing favors for others

Doesn't take care of themselves

If they do, it's only to keep other people from getting worried

Running away from problems

Constantly overreacting to minor inconveniences

Harsh/Reserved characters -

Violent outbursts

TRUST ISSUES

No emotions

What am I?

Breakdowns

Silence makes them irritable

Too much noise also makes them irritable

Hyper-activated Emotions

Emotionally or Physically abusing self on a bad day because it already sucked

Violent intrusive thoughts or words become normal

Pessimism

Constantly overly alert

NO RELAXATION

Trouble relating to anyone in any sort of way

Extra: Dreams

PTSD dreams are usually never anywhere close to the actual events

Flashbacks usually happen when awake

Often dreams are based on the type of trauma

Soldiers are more likely to see blood in dreams

Sexual abuse survivors are more likely to have people attacking or violating them in dreams

Physical abuse survivors are more likely to have loud sounds and other events related to their abuse in their dreams

Of course none of these are specific to each type, and you SHOULD mix and match, but these are generally more likely

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Different people have different trauma reactions, and so should characters. This sounds pretty obvious, but it's rather hard to do in my experience. It also goes to show that different types of trauma or traumatic events will make a different type of character

For example, I have a few of my characters and their trauma responses because Idk how else to explain it.

Character 1 - Marril - Experienced Physical and Emotional abuse, as well as witnessing several deaths and killing several people.

As a Child he used to be very exposed and unable to hide with short hair and a home that was generally very safe and quiet until it wasn't.

He has a tendency to break or destroy things out of resentment or just as a way to make himself feel better. He also generally obsesses over keeping things clean, because it usually meant better treatment at home. He also generally stays away from children because they remind him of the first person he killed. He also sometimes hallucinates blood on his hands, and isolates himself for fear of hurting them. He hides his emotions until he can't anymore and generally has very extreme negative emotions.

He is often mistaken to be much older than he actually is, and is generally very quiet. He also grows out his hair to distance himself from his past and to give himself an easy hiding place when he needs it. He hates people grabbing him, moving quickly, or touching his hair, and sometimes he will hurt or yell at people when even slightly provoked. Silence often triggers overthinking which brings guilt and bad memories, while sudden loud noises cause screaming, fight or flight, or even flashbacks.

Characters 2 & 3 - The Twins, Xhaazi and Kasi - Experienced emotional and Sexual abuse

The two of them have varied Emotional responses. Kasi tends to hide her emotions and act overly aggressive or overly friendly. She tends to be very tense and in many occasions, fight first ask questions later. She cannot tolerate being alone oftentimes and is sometimes clingy. She hates being restrained in any way and is prone to panic attacks and separation anxiety

She's generally a little reserved but becomes a little clingy when she finds people she likes. She is also over-apologetic and tends to cry around people she trusts for no reason. She always has nightmares and tends to enjoy loud noises because they distract her from her overthinking and anxiety.

While on the other hand, her Brother Xhaazi

He was the one who got it worse. He often injures himself when he's alone, hides his emotions extremely well, and tends to enjoy being alone or in silence. His tactics also amount to fight first ask questions later, but he is always in fight or flight mode and never trusts anyone unless given a good reason.

He tends to get very clingy to those he trusts and hates loud noises. He also tends to have a lot more nightmares than his sister and tends to cover up every single emotion he's feeling unless he thinks people will like it. He has depression and a lack of self-preservation along with extreme separation anxiety for his family and no one else when he can't easily get back to them.

So uh... Yeah? Have fun torturing your babies! Just make sure to differ their trauma from one another even if they experienced roughly the same things.

[seaofsunbeams]

Fourth Wing / Iron Flame SPOILERS ahead

I just read these 2 books within like 5 days so let us talk about some theories shall we?

Be ready for a long rant about multiple theories

So first of, I saw some people hating on book 2 for not following the hype of Fourth Wings???? I admit it took me 4 days to get through Iron Flame and like not even a day for Fourth Wings BUT I think thats because IF is more lore heavy. IF is just as good as the first one imo!

Now to some theories

The mystery of Violet Sorrengail's second signet.

So I was like 1/3 of the way through the book when I got some spoilers about Xaden having a second signet without diving further in what it is and then people being like "Hey I wonder what Violet's would be". So I started reading with some more purpose

I have 2 theories so far and no, I don't think Violet is a Distance Wielder. Yes that signet hasnt been seen in decades or even centuries and Adarna waited almost 700 years to hatch WHICH WOULD ADD UP! But I feel like it's a little too much on the nose.

At first I thought Violet might be able to dreamwalk. would it be useful in combat? No. But seeing as Violet thrives on knowing the facts and what is around her and it probably manifesting while Adarna was in the Dreamless Sleep (bit contradicting).. It would explain Violet being able to talk to Sage and actual being able to gather information from it. But we also do not know enough about Venin to know if this power comes from them.

My other guess on her signet, as more people are talking about, is her speaking to the dead. Now hear me out, yes I know it is a common thing in books and stuff that on the brink of madness and dehydration and yada yada.... people can hallucinate. Is it a possibility that this is also still the case? Sure, but why does Liam tell her things she doesn't know? Or contradict her? Speaking to the dead could also apply that she is Spiritualy gifted thanks to her mother being sick during pregnacy. MAYBE Lilith praying to Malek asking him to not take her child came with the cost of making her 'fragile' . And as we learned and keep hearing:

"At its core, magic demands balance"

Also interesting how she can talk to Liam.. maybe because not ALL his stuff was burned??? I think they must burn it to cut off the connection between the mortal world and the plane they go to after death. Is this a Riders custom? Possibly but maybe Malek is more hoovering over the people bonded by dragons.

Now that that ramble is done.. could all of these be far fatched, oh definitely but it's a fantasy world so we are allowed to be

MOVING ON THEORY 2 !!!

Which is just me debunking the orange dragon theory. Why does everyone automatically assume Sgeayl doesnt trust Brennan because of his dragon?? Sure we know the orange dragons are unpredictable and their choice of rider mirrors that.. like look at both Jack and Varrish FUCKING UNHINGED if you ask me.

But why is no one going like "oh, it's because Brennan is the reason Tairn his last rider died" ?? Do we know if this almost killed Tairn, which FYI is Sgeayl's mate?? So she could still blame him for almost taking him from her. I'm not sure if we know if he almost died (its 2am and I needed this out my head to be able to sleep) after his riders death. But we do know that after the events took place Tairn was only ever spotted and distanced himself as far as we know, until he joined Adarna because even as a feathertail they couldnt keep her in check.

I also think Cam AKA Aaric will be WAY more important to the story like.. how will a third prince with pent up anger towards his father and the way he rules the kingdom not be able to siphon a powerfull signet

Well please enlighten me with you guys' thoughts because I'm obsessed and can't stop crying about Liam so distract me.

[oliverwolfboy]

Where are my bsd tma crossovers and aus!? Like what the fuck are you guys doing this has so much unexplored potential. I don't care if you do it with abilities or without, I just want my bsd tma au fics, and not just trying to make the bsd characters into the archive staff, or just having the bsd characters show up in the archive and beat everythings ass including the entities somehow even though the entities can't be beat EVEN with gravity, because Oh mY gOD sO sTroNg. No no no no I want to see them struggle, I want to see one of them get trapped, taken by the buried, went to the circus of the other and never come out, or something that is new and not one of the avatars from the og podcast, just something, even better don't have Ranpo figuring it out immediately, because number 1) that is just unrealistic even by Ranpo standereds, Ranpo is a man of logic, even if he does make some lapses in logic, but those lapses are possible to the world they are in, and we only really take them as lapses because we can't see Ranpo's process of thought, if we could see his thoughts then these lapses would probably make sense, however metaphysical entities (or possibly just one entity with a lot of variation) made of the fear of all living beings is nowhere near logical even in a world with abilites, which is another problem for Ranpo, because any avatars or weird shit could be blamed on abilites, of course it can't just be blamed on abilites forever, there are archives after all (archives and not archive because in the canon of tma there are shown to be multiple archives, which also brings up the possiblity of multiple archivists at the same time, which is something i chose to believe in) and there wouldn't be archives or at least not to the public, if none thought what they saw was supernatural. Ranpo also wouldn't have access to the actual archive only the library where there is barely anything of actaul note, which brings me to number 2) it could make Ranpo an eye avatar, now why isn't Ranpo already an eye avatar? Because he's never actually had to try, he always figures it out in just a few seconds so he's never really felt that drive to know, never had that feeling of curiosity or the need to know even if it kills you, because he has always known, but now he doesn't, there is to much missing, he can try and find solutions that might work but none of them feel right, like there is some missing puzzle piece that he can't for the life wrap his head around, this has never happend before even with Dazai, though he struggle figured out most of it at least, not this time, this time he has nothing, no idea of what is going on, he is stuck in a desert and ever time he thinks he sees water, or just some kind of salvation it turns out to be a hallucination, a concoction from the mind of a desperate man, and this is where shame sets in, because if he can't solve something so simple then could he really call the greatest detective, and this shame transforms into that need, that need to know even if it kills him. Now there is a lot of places you can take this idea, will Ranpo go to his local spooky eye place? Will he be a freelancer? Well it is almost a guarantee that he will drive away the other members of the detective agency with his obsession. Of course you can come up with your own ideas. This is just one of many ideas i have, and i am probably also going to post some of them too. Now onto a real question how are avatars going to attack ability users, well the entities are very adaptable, in the og podcast they just had to deal with normal humans, now however since there are gifted they are most likely going to make stronger avatars, plus because of gifted the avatars will have to be smarter about how they go about their hunting, also there are probably also going to be gifted avatars, but case and point the entities and avatars are going to adapt, so they will always be at the top of the good chain. Also Hunt avatar bram gooo bruh

[im-out-of-it]

here we go again, part 10 of season 2, episode 8 “love is a devil” LEAVE ALEC BE

*side note- heavy anti clary at the end because Alec is everything and she’s nothing and I hate this whole scene for Alec he deserves better (but y’all know I’m heavy on the anti cc anti clary anti jace and etc)

137. here’s a video of Alec going off

138. Izzy knows she’s fine as hell

139. it was a good try Maryse but we will pick up another day on #letsgetridofjacealready day

140. I can’t believe I never added this one

141. I love with this whole exchange, Izzy’s like “I don’t have time for this” because that’s how i feel when clary exists

142. to be fair, Izzy feels like clary is calling her out when his actually about Simon lmao

143. and isn’t it funny she said “I never meant to hurt you ” when jace says the same thing to Alec in the Malec episode, and both Izzy and Alec say I know

144. ah shit is escalating

145. I HATE THIS PART SO MUCH

146. MY POOR FUCKING BABY LIKE CAN WE NOT

147. WHY IS ALEXANDER ALWAYS THE ONE GOING THROUGH THE MOST SHIT LIKE CAN WE NOT LET HIM HAVE A BREAK ALREADY LEAVE ALEC BE HES BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

148. Alec: guess I’ll go off myself

149. but can we seriously talk about the grief that is still there for Alec and always will be? “magic can’t create fears” Magnus says later on. Alec really thought this was the only way to escape his thoughts and escape the grief. and honestly for something he doesn’t do, he seemed to pay a whole lot for. while clary and jace get to do whatever without any consequences mostly. (I see karma being why clary got her angel gift taken away) (because they get to hurt Alec and Izzy and Simon and Maia and Magnus and it’s a ok but Alec accidentally lets a demon in and kills clary’s mom without his consent and his will is being taken away and how dare Alec he must feel bad for eternity) (honestly the writers did Alec so bad with this and with episode 12)

150. Alec is the only one who seems to pay over and over and over again and clary isn’t doing this on purpose because she’s hallucinating but it makes you wonder how she really feels. Alec already feels guilty enough and this is the last thread that has come undone. once again, alec did not deserve this treatment. I love the show so much but why did they keep making the gay character go through the most shit???? everything from season one, to almost taking his life, dying almost three times in season two, once in season one, another time in season three, and almost losing the love of his life THRICE. PLEASE BE KIND TO ALEC AND PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

151. not like you didn’t deserve to be killed jace

152. MAGNUS FORGET INSECURITIES GO GET YOUR MAN NOW (also clary is nowhere near him so does she expect to grab his hand or shit like girl stop, he’s in this mess because of you. all of this either leads back to Jocelyn which leads to clary and is a cycle so a lot of it is their fault. there wouldn’t be a need to infiltrate the institute if Valentine was trying to distract them so Valentine could get Jace from the city of bones. so almost everything that happens is either jace or clary’s fault so fight me on it I don’t care) (and yes I fucking blame them all) (Alec always pays for everything jace and clary do like they should be grateful once Alec became in charge that he didn’t send their worthless asses to idris) (and I blame Jocelyn a lot because she didn’t care if Alec almost died finding jace so she could find clary)

153. also can we talk about how devastating this must have been for Magnus to witness? (I’m posting the full scene on the next part DONT worry) having to see the love of his life take his life and almost not be able to stop it

154. POOR ALEC HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS. and it’s not just thinking of it like Alec was full on falling and thank fuck mags was there to save him 🥹 and I know I shouldn’t hate clary for this but I do. everything that has happened to Alec is her fault. I never once saw Jocelyn clary jace feel bad for how they treated him and Alec is full on killing himself at this point. GIVE MY MAN PEACE (and blah blah blah they are all under spells but those fears are there and those insecurities are already there so it makes me wonder how much of clary meant this) (and maybe it’s more Alec’s fear and insecurity but i still don’t like her or trust her)

stopping at 155 and there’s a little over two parts left I would guess so I may end up trying to finish up tomorrow

[askdrunkbillcipher]

Talking to Ghosts

(A Halloween special based on the lore I’ve made up for this blog)

- - - -

“Greetings, one and all, to Talking to Ghosts! The interview show that seeks out spirits from beyond the grave and answers the question of what we have to look forward to in the afterlife! I am your host, yet to be a ghost, Spectre, and I have been a medium for my entire life. I use my gifts to bring you all the views and opinions of those who have passed from all across the multiverse, and today, on this Halloween day, do I have a treat for you!”

“I’m here with Euclid and Scalene from Universe 64209, and if those names don’t sound familiar to you, maybe Bill Cipher does! As it turns out, these two are the proud parents of the infamous interdimensional criminal, sadistic tyrant, and demonic dealmaker - or at least, the version of him that’s also a raging alcoholic!”

“Could we really not get anyone else for our Halloween special? Like, I get that they’re still Cipher’s parents, but really? That version of the guy? No, no, I’ll still do the show, it’s just- sigh, yeah, no, I get it. Alright.”

“So, first off, let’s hear from the lovely belle of Euclydia, Scalene! So, it seems that your son is quite fond of you! In fact, he mistook a blue Bill for you and got wildly attached. Take a look!”

[Scenes between drunk!Bill and ReverseFalls!Will are played across the screen. A laugh track plays every time drunk!Bill calls him “mom”.]

“But how would you describe your relationship with your son?”

…He was my precious boy. He meant the world to me. I did everything I could for him. I’m just sorry it wasn’t enough…

“So you don’t resent him for destroying your entire dimension?”

Of course not. It was a tragic accident. He didn’t mean it. As I was dying, I saw the look in his eye. The horror in it… I just wish he could move on. There’s no changing what he’s done. I don’t blame him for running, but he can’t do this forever.

“Well, that response is about as emotionally mature as it is depressing! What about you, Euclid? What are your thoughts?”

Heh. I won’t lie to you. At first, I was furious. Everything I had worked for was reduced to a speck of dust along with everything else. But as time went on, I realized being a ghost is actually pretty great! I can do whatever I want without having to worry about things like public image and climbing the social ladder!

“Wow, that’s unexpected! So what have you been doing?”

Well, I saw how powerful Billy got as he grew older and I started to think maybe he got it from me! Sure, I didn’t show any signs of it before, but maybe that’s just cause I never tried. So I’ve been going to Earth and giving it a shot, trying to project my thoughts into the minds of those freakish 3D beings that took their own political roles. Nothing too serious, just trying to get a bit more money into politics or get that housing market booming again. But it… hasn’t worked all too well. At all even. But at least I can hover in the corner and watch them discuss things.

“Haha! Sounds like you miss your old job on some level! Do you regret at all not taking your son seriously?”

Of course not! He said he saw something no one else could see, does that not sound like hallucinations? Er, can we scratch that from the record, actually? What I meant to say was, what are you talking about? It was never my idea to call him crazy and drug him, it was that bastard optometrist! He’s the one who really traumatized my son. Scalene and I were just doing what we were wrongly led to believe was best for our sweet little boy!

Honey, you once got so mad about him talking about the stars in front of your colleagues that you whispered to him you’d cut his eye out if he didn’t stop.

Haha! That’s obviously not what I said! I said… to cut it out! You know the expression, cut it out? I am so terribly sorry if you or he misheard me, of course.

…

“Wow! Such a spirited conversation between the spirits of this couple! Now, on another note, how do we feel about that drinking problem?”

I know he does it because he can’t handle his feelings. I just wish he had someone to support him through it. Though, it looks like he’s getting some friends who could help, and this gives me hope.

Feelings, is it?

What?

That’s why you always spent so much of my money on wine?

For the millionth time, I’d only ever finish a bottle about every two weeks. The rest was cooking wine! Meanwhile-

Oh here we go again!

-you only stopped going out for whiskey every week when people started recognizing you in public! That’s all you’ve ever cared about, is your public image! Not your child, not supporting a family-!

I’m sorry, remind me again who was the main breadwinner of the household?

That’s not the poin-!

Who was it, dear?

…You, Euclid.

That’s right! Because of my money, you had a house, you had food on the table, and we both had the money for Billy’s very expensive medical treatments! So I don’t want to hear-

“IS THERE anything you’d like to say in the last five minutes of the show?”

Please don’t be too hard on my son-

I would just like to take this moment to say that if there are any mayoral races that are both taking place and accept interdimensional ghosts as candidates, I would be more than happy to run! I’m certain my experience in politics will help me to serve you the people well, no matter where you are!

Don’t vote for him

“And that’s all the time we have! Thank you, Euclid and Scalene of Dimension 64209 for your time with us today! And to the viewers at home, I hope to see you again real soon! Buh-bye!”

[themculibrary]

Knitting Masterlist

100% Peruvian Wool (ao3) - Corsets_and_Cardigans bucky/steve/tony G, 206

Summary: Alpine is lucky she's cute.

Arts and Crafts and Homicide (ao3) - Frea_O clint/natasha T, 1k

Summary: Clint blames Maria for introducing Natasha to knitting. The odds are good that he’s going to get a sweater as a gift. Why is he so bothered by that?

A Very Reliable Magic (ao3) - dixiehellcat background pepper/tony G, 3k

Summary: “Hap? What…are you doing?”

Happy Hogan shoved his reading glasses farther down his nose and peered over them at Tony. “What’s it look like?”

“Um, if I had to venture a guess, I’d say wrangling a spider by one leg?”

The chauffeur glanced down at the needles and yarn in his lap. “Okay, yeah, I can see that.” When his boss folded him arms and stood as though in a huff, he sighed and said, “I’m knitting, boss.”

--- Happy shares a hobby with Tony who, being Tony, takes it to new heights.

Baby Alpaca Love Letters (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony T, 5k

Summary: Someone is leaving beautiful, perfect, warm, soft, knitted gifts for Tony, and he'd really like to know who. And why.

Colorwork (ao3) - Astaraiche steve/bucky G, 1k

Summary: Steve doesn't understand the lack of handmade goods and colorful household items in the future.

How Bucky Barnes Became The Sock Fairy (ao3) - Maia_saura steve/bucky G, 2k

Summary: It started out with Steve. Everything always did.

Inappropriate Knitting (ao3) - Stella_Malodi darcy/steve T, 1k

Summary: (Or: In Which Darcy Sows Chaos And Pulls Out Her Knitting) 

“Ooh, you’ve got a vein-thingy on your temple. I didn’t know that could happen in real life. You should probably see a doctor or something.”

Captain Eyepatch actually growled!

“Chill out, dude. To answer your questions, I’m Darcy Lewis, Scientist Wrangler extraordinaire. I’m in your office because I was looking for wayward scientists, and I was knitting because you were busy yelling at each other.” She paused thoughtfully, then added, “Also, I find it amusing to knit at somewhat inappropriate times.”

Knit and Purl (ao3) - Six2VII sam/bucky G, 5k

Summary: Bucky has recently retired and joined a knitting circle.

Knitting (ao3) - hallieCB3 scott/hope G, 1k

Summary: Hope van Dyne has a hobby.

Knitting (ao3) - Moonandstars_fics bucky/sam G, 1k

Summary: Steve knits his adopted niece, Morgan Stark, an Elephant and gives it to her.

knitting for beginners (ao3) - theladyscribe G, 1k

Summary: The piece is about six inches wide, a little uneven on the sides, with a dozen or so rows completed. The last row stops halfway, and a stitch is on the very tip of one needle, ready to fall. Steve briefly considers undoing the scarf and fixing the dropped stitches but decides it's rude to do so without permission. The knitting is gone when he passes through the living room later that evening, and he promptly forgets about it.

Needle Arts (ao3) - Sholio T, 1k

Summary: Peggy discovers an unexpected talent in one of her coworkers. Or, the one in which Jack learns to knit.

Only Just One Time (ao3) - monkiainen steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Tony knits, but he does not want anyone to know about it. Although he's pretty sure he saw Steve knitting once, but it was probably a hallucination. Or was it?

The Health Benefits of Knitting (ao3) - Niobium G, 1k

Summary: Clint isn't sure what's really relieving Natasha's stress—the knitting, or the part where she foists the horrible results off on other people.

The Sweater Curse (ao3) - innerslumber steve/bucky T, 5k

Summary: Darcy looked at the pattern he had on his lap and then stared at him in horror. “Bucky, are you insane? Have you not heard of the Sweater Curse?”

Bucky’s eyebrows flew up in surprise at Darcy’s comment. “The Sweater Curse? What’s that?”

“Holy shit, how can you not have heard of it? It’s when you make a sweater for a significant other and they dump you. Are you trying to get dumped by Steve?”

-----------------

Or: Bucky knits Steve a cable knit sweater.

Unwound (ao3) - panofcheese bucky/tony G, 6k

Summary: 5+1+several other times Bucky knitted something for someone that usually isn't Tony but sometimes is, and one time Tony was Sick Of It.

(because I couldn't stick to my fic outline, sue me)

---

Alternatively,

Somebody in the tower is knitting things, everybody in the tower is having a laugh at Tony's expense, and Tony Stark has Had Enough.

Yarn Over Heels (ao3) - Reioka G, 1k

Summary: Everyone stumbles onto The Stash at some point. They all have different reactions. (Tony shows he cares by making things.)

[arjaandsimoni]

Epilogue

Jaipur India

Arja and Simoni sat together on the couch, watching yet another news story about the chaos that had unfolded in Sri Lanka’s capital. There had been a news special every hour almost since it happened, even though it had been well over a week now.

Some people were right, and that it really was King Ravana returned to try to claim his throne before being thwarted by… well, nobody could figure out what the hell he fought.

Some said it was all bullshit, that everything that had happened in India was some sort of strange publicity stunt for some Bollywood production.

Some said it was Muslims (but hell someone always blamed them for shit they didn’t do.)

A few said it was some sort of mass hallucination that the government was causing using an experimental weapon of some kind.

And of course, at least one person pointed the blame at aliens.

Nearby sat Nelen, the magus checking his new phone. “Aisha says that New Orleans is getting back on it’s feet after that mess with Umbra’s bracelet.” he nodded, his other hand holding a bottle of baby formula in Scylla’s mouth. Drusilla was a good mom, but Nelen didn’t want to leave everything up to her, and now that things were calming down he actually had some time to, well, be a dad.

“Oh good…” sighed Simoni, “I wish we could’ve helped somehow, but… yeah… that’d be way more money than anyone in Jaipur has.”

Arja winced and glanced away, “Still kinda our fault…” she mumbled.

The two leaned back, it was so quiet now that Stephy and Tex had to go back home (and of course Sammi with them.) Aisha had returned, a little irked that Morrigan never gave her Claiomh Solias back until Arja presented her with her own talwar, a gift for helping them out time and time again.

Downstairs in the wine cellar Natasha and Nicu dozed the day away, Lupe curled up nearby with several of the cheshire kittens. Catherine said that while they were adorable, she was quite happy to see them leave, especially after what they did to her sewing room.

Vampires made for odd allies, but Natasha and Nicu were good ones, as trustworthy as the undead could be…

But vampires could also be the direst of foes, as they will soon find out…

Cincinnati Ohio, Late Evening

“I’m just saying I don’t see why we don’t just go ahead and do it out in the open now! After all that shit over in whereverthefuckistan the humans know damn well shit like us is real!” shouted a young man. He was a skinny thing, downright skeletal almost, with pockmarked skin that spoke of surviving a horrible disease. He wore a baggy teeshirt and jeans, a pair of designer sneakers on his feet.

He also had long canines, and his eyes occasionally glowed red when the lights in the room hit them right.

Across the room from him stood a man not too much older than him in appearance but seeming far older than him in many other ways. He wore a three-piece suit, but slightly archaic with a tie pin and cufflinks when most modern suits wouldn’t bother with them. It almost looked like something out of the 1920s.

“Because the prince said so boy. Deal with it.” he snapped back.

“Well maybe he’s fucking wrong then! I mean how long has he been in charge? Fifty? Sixty years?” he asked, throwing up his arms as he strode forward.

The man sighed, “Prince Archibald has been ruling the undead in Cincinnati since this city was nothing but a few pig farms and you will treat him with respect. I don’t care if you don’t, but you are a vampire now. Always, ALWAYS assume someone is listening you young fool!” he snarled, baring his teeth… and his own sharp canines.

The young man snorted, then walked out of the room with his hands in his pockets as the older man watched him go, then wincing as he slammed the door too hard, the frame creaking loudly. “Hmph… his father paid well for a cure for whatever happened to him. Pity the only thing that could have hoped to break that curse was another one.” he frowned, “I had hoped he’d make a useful pawn… but at this rate I should probably cut my losses, stake the little toad, and leave him for the sun.”

Outside the young man pulled out a top of the line smartphone and typed into the text message app, “We gona do it. Nxt wk. Mon, 12 mid. We gna plan. Be there.”

Then he smirked and slipped the phone away, “Time to make Cincinnati great again…” he whispered under his breath.

To be continued in The Supernatural Adventures of Arja & Simoni Book 3: Bad Blood, Old Sins

Table of Contents

Previous Story

[quickdeaths]

@more-than-a-princess

Another Hope There’s a legend that whoever owns the treasured Hope Diamond shall be haunted by death. This diamond was created from the left-over parts back when the Hope Diamond was cut.

Shinobu stared down at the diamond necklace inside of the MonoMono Machine capsule. Something like this was far above the expected yield of the few coins she'd thrown in. Selling an item like this would be enough to buy the dojo from her father outright, or buy a house far, far away. They could buy some new clothes, and some gifts for Anzu, and get a private investigator to track down Masaru. They were thinking too small, they knew, almost unable to comprehend the value of what was in their hands.

But, either way, it would be wasted on them, truthfully, and Shinobu had put the money in expecting to give whatever came out to Sonia. And so, wordlessly, she turned to Sonia and held it out for her. "I'm... sure you have many items like this, Miss Nevermind. It may not even make a list of your finest things. Still, I hope it's not a burden that I ask you to take it." The immediate impulse was to place it around her neck, as Shinobu imagined the color would pair well with Sonia's eyes, but she refrained.

"It's strange, isn't it? This machine." Once the necklace was in Sonia's hands, Shinobu brought their hands inward, body language closed-off and tight. "Such bizarre things inside, with such wide ranges." It was embarrassing, she thought, to have given such a gift, even if it was random that she'd received it in the first place. It lent the wrong idea, and she worried slightly (why?) that Sonia might take it as Shinobu valuing her title or the glamor that came with it above the person herself. "I think it would look nice on you, so please do accept it."

(possible post-despair continuation under the cut)

She hadn't meant to go through Sonia's things. The box had been damaged on the boat, and when Shinobu had gone to place it upon the cart back to be delivered to Sonia's cabin, it had nearly cracked apart, forcing the archer to act quickly to keep things from spilling onto the sand. Something glinted in the afternoon sunlight, slipping through a crack and nearly falling, before being plucked from the air by Shinobu, who brought it up to her face. That necklace, that stone. How familiar.

"You really don't believe in curses, huh, Shinobu-chan?" Anzu's smile turned wicked and cruel as she hovered over their shoulder. "Maybe you should start. It's probably easier to blame your problems on a curse than on the fact that you're a worthless person." She wasn't wrong, Shinobu thought, but if it was so easy to abdicate any responsibility for her failings, she'd have done it years ago. Instead, she made her way to the Future Foundation barracks.

Guns, knives, explosives, all manner of weapons just in case. "Oh, Special Agent Yaguchi," one of the junior members mumbled timidly, surprised to see her. "Sorry, but you're not supposed to be here. Naegi-san said that-" Thump. Her knee drove into his stomach just enough to knock the wind from him. "I'll only be a moment. Don't worry, I don't intend to do anything reckless." Her hand clasped around weathered bow, stringing hanging loosely from the top limb.

She'd wrapped the necklace around the arrowhead, along with a few small stones to weigh it down. "If you don't believe in this kind of thing, then why are you going through the trouble? Or, is it that you're afraid if she sees it, she'll go totally axe-crazy again? Kill even the unimportant people this time?" Shinobu rolled their eyes. There was no one else around, so she could talk to the hallucination, even if it made her feel stupid. "I don't believe in curses, no." The arrow was drawn back, the limbs of the bow curling slighting at the pull. "But I think she's haunted enough by death without some forgotten memento connected to a childish superstition reminding her." She let go, and the arrow sailed through the air, disappearing beneath the water some hundred meters out. "Besides, I'd prefer that Miss Nevermind focus on her recovery, and her future, rather than get mired in the memory of an unimportant gift from the past."

[luvliewriting]

Could you write a Josh Washington x reader where reader likes to do trippy paintings and they made one that reminds them of Josh and were making it for him but he found it 💖💖

Please and thank you? 🦇💘

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A Paint Stroke For My Heart

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Pairing: Josh Washington x GN!Reader

Warnings: slight hallucinations, mental health, but mainly fluff

Note: this is in the year between Hannah and Beth's disappearance and the night I did my best to respresent the grief Josh was going through along with his schizophrenia by using my own boyfriend's experiences to the best of my ability. If how I wrote this is harmful or inaccurate at all, please tell me and I will do my best to correct it or just take it down in general.

If you are having any issues with schizophrenia or any other mental illness; my inbox or dms are always open :)

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Gifts weren't something that Josh usually found coming back at him, he usually had to give first to get anything in return. No one ever just gave him something just to give him something, there always had to be this extra layer to it. When he was younger he was used to the piles of birthday/christmas gifts he would get along with his sisters; but the older they all got, the less and less their parents seemed to care to go above and beyond. Probably didn't help that they were always busy, the Washington children usually sharing the large home alone most days except on weekends when their dad would get off work but he would just tuck himself away to his office, still busy like a bee.

Maybe Josh missed when he was younger, playing baseball with his dad and Beth. Hannah and his mom always watching from the side and cheering him on when he would hit the ball and run from Beth to get to the base. Usually ending him getting tackled down to the ground by his younger sister as Beth would always mock him, saying how much stronger she was then him. But he never complained, he liked seeing his sister be so proud of herself for tackling down her brother.

Of course now, he didn't have that company through the week. He was a college drop out that just spent his time at home everyday, a large home yet so alone. His sisters weren't coming back, Chris spent all his time with Ashley, the only people that ever really visited were Sam and well you. You visited more than Sam, you spent more nights over with him than anything, making sure he didn't stay alone since he didn't trust himself to be alone. He was fragile, he couldn't deny that, and being alone in that giant home definitely didn't help in his favour of hating being alone.

On the occasion he would pass Hannah's or Beth's rooms, which was rare, he found himself just staring into the room. Memories of his sisters' smiling faces and laughs after they would pull a prank on him or overhearing the two gossiping in Hannah's room with Sam and you. It was worse when he found one of Hannah's spare change of glasses on the bedside table and he picked them up, just a flood coming back to him that he couldn't stop making him collapse to the ground and cry.

"I never wanted you to die."

He forgot how many times he's said that same sentence over and over to himself. Sometimes to his hallucinations of his sisters, who constantly blamed them for their disappearance/death. He wanted to crawl up in a ball and ignore the fact that he existed, no amount of drugs could help himself.

"Hey Josh can you hand me the blue?" Josh's attention left the corner of the room where a painting of his sisters was on the wall towards you where you sat at the kitchen table. Multiple different paints around you and a canvas in the middle. He looked over at the bottom of the table where the little cup of blue paint was. He nodded kneeling down to grab the blue for you.

Before he could peak at your painting, you covered his view from the canvas, shaking your head, "It's a surprise, be patient." Josh nodded sitting down at the kitchen table with you, slumping his face into his crossed arms like a pillow as he glanced over at you. You looked at him, a small smile on your lips, "are you okay?"

He shook his head, he never was okay. Even if he wanted to be okay, he knew he wasn't. Dr Hill didn't help, his parents barely acknowledged him, someone who was supposed to be his bestfriend only wanted to hang out with his crush, you were truly all he had.

You felt his palm against the back of your hand, stopping your brush strokes as you looked over at him, watching him raise your hand up to his lips and feeling him leave a soft kiss to the back of your hand and continuing to hold it close to him. You smiled softly at him, rubbing his hand with your thumb as you whispered, "did you take your medication today?"

"Yeah," Josh's face was covered by his arms as he nuzzled his face away and grumbled, "not that they help."

"Hey," he felt your comforting hand on his head as he peaked up at you from his enclosed arms, "you don't have to suffer through this alone, you know I'm here and you're never alone, I'll never leave you alone."

He shrugged to himself, covering his face back into his arms. Sure hiding away was bad and didn't make the voices go away, but at least he didn't have to see them with their constant reminder of how much of a failure of a brother he was that night. Even if you tried to tell him as much as you could, he always knew that he was right; he was truly one huge failure.

"You wanna see it?" Josh peaked his eye out once more over to you, holding the painting to your ches with a cheeky smile on your lips.

He only nodded, still deep in his grief, as you turned the painting around to face him. His eyes blinked at the canvas trying to look it over and understand.

It looked like him, in the corner of the canvas with a skull beside him with eyes and all other kinds of things that he liked. Cameras, novels, all kind of things that he usually hid from people that were his interests. Josh's smile was small but definitely still there as he looked over the trippy painting, you made it for him. It was for him, it was confusing. Did you want somehting in return for this? Most people usually did when they gave him stuff but as he looked into your genuine eyes, he knew that you did this out of the kindness of your heart.

All he did was smile, his index finger stroking the painting feeling the dry paint strokes against his finger. His eyes were fixated on it, something that was actually his without consquence. It was his. This painting was his. You were his.

"You like it?" you asked softly, leaned down on your arms and trying to look into Josh's eyes as his eyes met yours.

"I love it," Josh smiled, a genuine one, not his fake one he usually put on for people so they would stop giving him those stupid pity looks. He hated hearing "sorry" or having to look into someone's face and just seeing the pity. He didn't want it. He wanted his sisters back. All he had was you now, even if that was enough for him, he still missed Hannah and Beth more than anything. And he would always miss them, he understood that even though it was hard.

You truly were his saving grace. Something as simple as watching you paint made his heart swell. You truly were found a way to turn his cold black heart into just a little bit of a rainbow by being there.

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Thank you for reading, please like and please reblog as it really does help me out <3

Taglist: @margowritesthings

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[celestialnxva]

Midnight Melodies

Steve Rogers x Reader

can be read as platonic or romantic !

Summary: The Avengers compound was always quiet every night, except for this one.

Warnings: Angst, death mention, hurt/comfort, mental health institutions, hallucinations, can induce dereality. reader has schizophrenia.

wc: 2k+ words

a/n: this is one of my many fics that will cover mental disorders that aren’t talked about and demonized. this is my way as someone with aspd to normalize mental health in fics and do not have problematic themes written into it. we deserve to feel seen, normalized and validated; not by these characters, but by our abilities to fight these battles ourselves.

marvel masterlist. | main masterlist.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀❦ ❦ ❦

After Tony died, everyone was a mess. Even though you won against Thanos and everyone who had been gone for five years finally came back, you all knew that life without Tony was emptier than it should. Everyone felt this way, but you took his death the hardest.

Your childhood best friend was gone and there was no way to console you. Your other friends tried, but you felt like your life crumbled the moment the light of life left his eyes. You cried and cried over his body, hoping that someone would intervene and bring him back too. People had to pull you away from him and you kicked and screamed in agony, incoherently pleading with everyone to bring him back to life. The sight of your tortured mind especially broke Pepper’s heart, as she loved you like you were her sibling.

As Steve and Sam dragged you away, the hope and happiness you once had disappeared with Tony’s last breath.

The next thing you knew, you were being whisked away to a psychiatric hospital due to your outburst. You couldn’t blame your team for being that worried, but when you found out that you would be missing Tony’s funeral, you sobbed and screamed at them, feeling whatever was left of your trust for them dissipate in front of them. Stephen was particularly saddened to see his dear friend process the most traumatic experience of their life. It was a terrifying time for the other Avengers, as they were scared to know if you will ever go back to ‘normal.’

Of course, hearing people express their sentiments in this way angered Bucky, as he knew first hand on what it was like to recover from all the trauma he himself experienced with Hydra. Steve and the others listened in shock when Bucky uncharacteristically yelled at them to reconsider the way they see this situation. After the big fight, the Avengers, like Bucky, left to live their own lives. The only one who stayed at the newly built Compound was Steve, and he sometimes had Rhodey’s company when he visited.

Even if it was lonely, Steve wanted to stay. He thought about going back to live his life with Peggy when he placed back all the Time Stones into their respective locations, but with how everyone had mixed reactions about your condition, he would not forgive himself if he left you all alone after you come back from the hospital.

So, he stayed in the large facility all on his own, until Steve had been informed that you were able to be discharged from the hospital the next day. The entire day, he had spent buying welcome gifts and extra supplies to make you feel safe and at home with him. He didn’t know what to expect from you after being away for so long, but he hoped that he could support you in any way he can.

To your request, Rhodey traveled all the way to your hospital to pick you up and personally take you to the Compound. On the way, you asked him to stop by for cheeseburgers in the same fast food restaurant you all used to go to with Tony. With the mental state you were in now, he trusted your decision and allowed you to eat on the way there. From the way you devoured your meal, he could tell that you did not eat as much as the doctors wanted you to. Seeing you like this hurt Rhodey more than you knew, but throughout it all, he stayed strong because he knew that Tony would’ve wanted him to support his dear friend.

When you finally arrived, Steve was already outside with a singular sunflower in his hand. He held the same gentle smile he always reserved for you as you got out of the car. Even with all that you’ve been through together, he still cared about you with his entire heart. You were the only one who made him feel better about being out of his time the first time he woke up from the ice. Perhaps that was why he decided to stay: to help you the same way you helped him.

“Welcome back, (y/n),” he said softly, offering his hand for you to take it. Your broken eyes stared up at him, wary of his motivations. Just to reassure you, he offered you the flower as well. “Here, sunflowers represent cheerfulness and optimism,” he explained while his voice stayed gentle and careful. You assessed him for a moment to see if he was lying, but you only saw the same earnest eyes you’ve always adored. With that, you smiled faintly and took the sunflower with one hand while you placed your hand over his hand. When your hands touched, you inhaled sharply at the feeling of electricity running down your spine. Steve must have felt it too, since his grip on your hand momentarily tightened. Daringly, your eyes looked up at him from behind your eyelashes to see his reaction. When the two of you made eye contact, you stopped breathing, taking in the sight of the tenderness in his eyes that he always held for you.

Seeing the two of you now, Rhodey knew right away what was going on. Instead of heading inside with you like he planned, he cleared his throat to get your attention. Your eyelashes fluttered shut before you looked at your friend. He smiled.

“I’ll be heading out. Steve will take good care of ya while you get readjusted to life again,” he said before he got in his car and drove away. When his car disappeared in the distance, you finally turned to face Steve. He firmly held onto your hand before he guided you inside.

Since that day, you had stayed with Steve for weeks now. Even if you were technically ready to work again and get your own place, you still felt numb and needed someone to accompany you. It started out with constant hand holding on his end, but you two had upgraded to him respectfully sleeping beside you. You desperately needed to feel safe in someone’s company due to you being isolated from everyone for an entire month. He was more than happy to provide, always making sure that you were comfortable with what he had to offer.

But as the two of you stayed longer in each other’s company, you two had gotten significantly closer than you were before. With you being more vulnerable than usual, you were more compelled to tell Steve a lot more about your life than you did before and for that, he was grateful. He found you to be a beautiful soul despite all that you’ve been through. He knew how much Tony meant to you, but when you looked at him, he saw a small glimmer of hope hidden deep in your eyes. When he saw it, he felt proud of you for healing all on your own. All he had to do was be there for support.

You had grown comfortable in the silence of the Compound, but for some reason, you weren’t able to sleep tonight. Perhaps it was because you had remembered that Tony was gone from your life, and the silence of the compound unnerved you. You look over to see Steve sleeping peacefully bedside you. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so you decided to carefully get out of bed to go to the common room.

Out of all the places in the building, you loved the common room because of the beautiful grand piano nestled into the corner of the room. You haven’t played on that piano in a while, so now seemed like a great time to play it again.

Moving towards the bench, you opened the fallboard and sure enough, the keys were dusty. Closing your eyes, you used your magick to tune the piano and bring the piano back to its original state of beauty. With an elegant glissando from the lowest key to the top, the piano came to life and greeted you with a happy jig. You smiled warmly for the first time in months and sat down to play.

What exactly could you remember from before the events of Thanos? It seemed like yesterday when the Avengers fought against Thanos and dusted. It was hard to rummage through your messy brain to find one singular song to play when you’ve recently went through the most physically tolling mental breakdown. Naturally.

It was hard to find one, but you didn’t want to give up. A few more minutes to think of one, it suddenly came to your mind. It was a beautiful piece from a movie that you and Tony decided to watch because you two just loved watching crappy romance movies together. Though the thought of Tony made you almost sob again, you chose instead to place your hands on the keyboard and start playing what you know by heart. You made sure not to fail because you wouldn’t want to annoy Tony with ugly playing.

‘Ah, that song. Why’d you pick that one? Couldn’t you have picked some chick flick like Pretty in Pink?’ he asked you with a teasing chuckle. The past few weeks have been lovely, as Tony’s voice had comforted you through all the pain you’ve been through. The doctor labeled you as something medical-sounding without trying to call you insane, but just didn’t really care. At least Tony will still be a part of your life. Blessings can be in disguise.

You held a small conversation with him while you played, your beautiful expression echoing throughout the entire compound. The sound was so heartfelt that it even woke Steve up from his slumber.

Steve blinked wearily in confusion, wondering why he felt cold bedsheets beside him instead of your warm waist. Because of everything he had been through, his heart beat faster in his chest with anxiety. Did something happen? Did you get kidnapped or hurt? Can he keep you safe and happy? All these questions drove him mad, so he decided to fully wake himself up to find out where the noise was coming from.

More alert this time, Steve checked each room he passed by, trying to find where you were. You weren't in the kitchen, nor in any of the spare bedrooms. You weren't in the briefing room either. Once he checked most rooms in the compound, he leaned against the table and rubbed his forehead. He could still hear the music playing faintly in the background while he thought about where you could be. When it hit him, it was when he realized that the music playing was you.

Jogging across the compound to the common room, where he knew that there was a piano there to play on. He never knew how, but the thought of you playing an instrument so unused by the Avengers brought warmth in his heart. You really were a gentle soul when someone gets to know you.

When he finally reached the common room, he decided to stop himself from going inside the room. Instead, he leaned against the door frame and watched your fingers dance on the keys as if they were flittering butterflies. The way you played was beautiful, yet sad, as those same fingers almost seemed to drag with each new placement. It was then when he remembered that he was stuck in the past and that you were a little bit different now. It wasn't bad, but he knew you were going to come out of this trauma as a changed person, and you already did. It broke his heart to see you so sad, but he knew that now was the right time to accompany you.

He walked in slowly and watched as you started to laugh to yourself. You were quietly cracking jokes and leaning back to relish in the beauty of the music you were playing. He gathered that you must have been talking to Tony right now. He can wait. He waited until you finished playing. When he saw that your face fell from being met with silence, he decided to make his presence known to you with a soft hum.

Quickly, you turned towards where the sound came from and your panicked eyes met Steve's gentle ones. You let out a sigh of relief and moved your gaze back at the keys in front of you. So it seems that your fear of someone watching you while you played was actually true. You wondered why Steve would bother waking up this late in the evening. He must be tired from all his meetings with Hawkeye or whoever else he was still in touch with. Your curiosity got the best of you and you turned to where he was now standing and pursed your lips in thought.

He interrupted you politely and walked over to you. "Don't worry about me. I just wanted to check to see where you were." His smile widened in amusement. "When you're met with cold bedsheets beside you, you're naturally going to find where your partner has gone to," he mused which caused you to chuckle lightly. When your eyes turned back to the keyboard, he sat down beside you on the bench. For a moment, you two sat in silence, feeding off the comfort for each other before he spoke up.

"Will you play it again? It was beautiful," he asked before he sheepishly fiddled with one of the keys. You looked at him in surprise and he met your gaze with one of nostalgia. "It seems like a song I've heard before. Reminds me of the old days when I was still with Peggy and the rest," he said sadly before he looked back in shame. He doesn't like bringing up the past, especially with someone who was grieving like you. He felt that his stories were too selfish to tell, but you thought otherwise. They were always fantastical and inspiring. He should know that. He needed to know that. Maybe you should listen to Tony's advice right now.

You rest your head against his shoulder comfortingly, feeling his muscles tense in return. You knew he was touch starved, and you were too. There was no room for judgment. There never was between you two. Steve slowly placed his hand to wrap around your waist. He cared for you deeply and just wanted you to be okay.

Perhaps he won't admit to you yet that your company was something that he desperately needed as a man completely out of his time. But maybe you knew that already. Maybe you knew that fact and was the reason why you felt compelled to play the song again. Tony's voice and the other hallucinations seemed to quiet down for now while you played in Steve's company. You know those feelings would come back, that you will be stuck floating in a world that you cannot seem to fathom anymore. But for now, the feeling of Steve beside you and your fingers pressing comfortingly down on the brand new keys symbolized more than hope for you.

It meant that you were going to be okay. You were going to be okay.

———

general taglist: @venomsvl @v0idl1nq

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What do you think it would be like if Bella decided, as soon as she found out about Victoria in New Moon, to ask Carlisle's old friends the Volturi for help?

Interesting premise anon.

As usual, I feel the need to explain why this wasn't on the table (yes, I know, I know).

Why Didn't Bella Go to the Volturi in New Moon?

Bella spent most of New Moon a depressed blob. Specifically, when she finds out about Victoria via Laurent, she's at her lowest point. Jake has dumped her for seemingly no reason (with the 'it's not you, it's me' speech no less), Edward's still not around, and being Bella still sucks.

When Laurent comes across her, while she half-heartedly follows Hallucination Edward's instructions to keep her alive, she's mostly just there accepting her fate. Get eaten by a rando vampire, typical.

Laurent then gets eaten by giant wolves and Bella gets home. She remembers Laurent talking about Victoria but Bella's so low functioning it's not even really a concern. By the time it is, Bella's in on the wolf secret and she counts on them to protect her, Charlie, and the town of Forks.

Even then Bella doesn't really fully appreciate the danger she's in. She'd like not to get eaten by Victoria, sure, but that would be just Bella's luck, wouldn't it?

Point being, Bella never views Victoria as a huge problem she has to somehow solve. Which means, of course, she doesn't have to brainstorm solutions.

Well, say Bella doesn't find out about the wolves (too low functioning to put Jake's strong hints together) or else that they don't have the deluge of shifting and it's just Sam out there. Say that Bella's aware enough to realize that Victoria could probably kill her at any point and may come after her father or Renee.

I don't know if the Volturi would be the first people that come to mind.

Bella was introduced to the concept of the Volturi once, and very vaguely at that. Edward showed her a painting, said they were Carlisle's old friends, oddly sophisticated vampires who very much still eat people and are patrons of the art and... sort of a royal family who impose this law that humans can't know about vampires. Edward was extremely vague and not very helpful.

Partly because Edward is breaking the law right in that moment and doesn't want Bella to realize that he's sentencing her (and his entire family) to death should he be caught.

So, Bella in New Moon doesn't really understand what this law thing is about, but she does know that she might be breaking it and that they might eat her. That, and Victoria might not be breaking the law herself, eating people is not against the law and that's all Victoria really wants to do here.

Bella has no idea that Victoria has a newborn army in the works yet.

Running to three dudes in a painting is probably not a great idea.

Let's AU Anyway

But alright, Bella spends several weeks thinking about this. She doesn't know about the wolves or else she knows they're vastly outnumbered and in no condition to protect the town from a wrathful vampire. Victoria wants Bella dead and could very well come after Charlie and Renee. She could hold the entire town hostage.

Bella either can sit and die in Forks, the most depressing thing she can think of, or she can try to get help.

She'll probably still die, but at least she'll be in Tuscany, she can die with a glass of wine in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. And if Bella's eaten by some other vampire then Victoria will probably go away, right?

Bella says, "Tally ho" and purchases herself a plane ticket and winds up in Volterra, picks the most vampire looking building she can think of (happens to be right), says she's an acquaintance of Carlisle Cullen's to the shockingly human secretary.

Aro then has the weirdest interview of his life.

Bella tells him the censored version of how she and the Cullens came into each other's worlds (made very difficult as Bella can't say the name "Edward" out loud). Bella explains that they left her because she's stupid and human and that now the vampire who was trying to kill her last year is back to kill her again and she is literally out of options.

She realizes Aro doesn't have to do anything, probably won't, but she figured if she was going to be eaten by a vampire she'd go with the option of Not Victoria.

If Aro wants to kill Victoria too before she eats Forks that would also be great.

Aro explains that this is a little more complicated. Since Edward let Bella in on the secret it was Edward's job to either kill her or turn her, he was never supposed to run away (what the hell, Carlisle?)

Bella's also right in that this Victoria person isn't technically breaking Volturi law, sadly, and it says a lot about vampires, but murder is very kosher. Especially murder of humans. Ordinarily, Aro would not intervene.

However, Bella seems to have an extraordinary gift, Aro considers himself a very close friend of Carlisle's and any friend of Carlisle's is a friend he can and will help, and this is just the saddest story he's ever heard.

So here's what they'll do: They'll turn Bella, she can stay here in Volterra (a position in the guard is open if she wants it) or if she wishes Aro can call Carlisle so she can join the Cullens (Bella hard passes on that one), Aro will send out someone to take care of this Victoria person and ensure her father and mother's safety, and everything will be alright.

Bella did not realize being turned into a vampire was even on the table. She is down for that and asks if Aro can bite her right that second. Aro just sort of stares.

Bella gets turned that evening.

Caius is beyond pissed that they're cleaning up Carlisle's messes but Aro points out that this is a pretty sweet deal. Bella shows unbelievable potential and what's taking care of one stray vampire?

Well, he sends someone out to find this Victoria and, lo and behold, she was building a newborn army. The newborn army gets massacred almost immediately by Jane, Aro thanks his lucky stars Bella came before Victoria set these people on any city, and eventually Aro probably calls up Carlisle to tell him.

Bella doesn't really want to see him (or Edward, definitely not Edward), but Aro went ahead and turned her and now she's in Volterra. You're welcome, Carlisle.

Carlisle decides it's better not to tell Edward.

Of course, this goes awry when Edward eventually returns to Forks and hears reports of Bella's death. He heads to Volterra, intent on killing himself, and there's Bella. Standing right behind Aro, looking like a vampire demon.

Their reunion is very very awkward.

Especially as, blaming himself for Bella's sudden case of vampirism, Edward still tries to goad the Volturi into killing him. Bella never quite recovers from the idea that, apparently, the idea of Bella being a permanent fixture on this earth was enough for Edward to want to kill himself.

[janetbrown711]

Flower Most Needed

Isabella Madrigal wants to be perfect, but perfect doesn't equal helpful, and she struggles with a desire for both.

Usual tw for blood and yellow fever and stuff

Ao3 Link

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

.o0o.

It had been three days since Julieta’s hallucinations began. 

Isabella felt neglected, though she could hardly blame anyone. With all the chaos around Julieta, everyone’s attention was divided– even Abuela’s. Everyone was coping– or not– in different ways: Agustín was always either watching her or playing piano, Pepa was cooking and trading off with Agustín while struggling to control her winds, Abuela was reading and praying constantly, Bruno was isolated in that far off room of his, Camilo and Mirabel were constantly drawing pictures for her, Luisa was also isolating and locking her door, Dolores was often out in town to try and get away from Julieta’s muttering and hallucinations, and Isa..? Well– she was being Isa: keeping her head high, acting perfectly perfect and still making flowers for all the people who asked. 

Though the requests for roses and fleur de mayos were much less these days, as people came requesting herbs and medicines. Isa tried best she could, but she hadn’t seen many of them since she used to spend mornings with her mother in the kitchen when she was little, and such days felt like a million years ago now. 

It occurred to Isa just how little she saw her mother nowadays- hell, ever since she turned five really. It felt like she was swept away with her gift and the attention that she had left her mother behind. Which was more apparent now that her services weren’t needed as much.

It was getting hard to be perfect. 

Though she was determined to still try. 

A soft morning, birds softly singing in the distance. Isa was the first one awake for once, so a quiet casita greeted her. Ever since her mami got sick her sleep schedule had been thrown for loops, but this was truly the first time waking so early. Slowly she walked through the empty Casita and wandered to the kitchen, not knowing what she was really doing there, nor why she didn’t just go back to sleep. After all, the sun had just barely begun to rise, but she supposed there was something refreshing about that. 

Not knowing quite what to do with herself, she grabbed a glass of water and stared out and watched as the sky changed from purple into light pinks and oranges and into the usual blue in shades she had seen only in a few flowers and the occasional painting. Softly, she grew flowers of her own against the windowsill. 

Begonia tuberosa. 

Mami’s favorite. 

“Isabella? Aren’t you normally asleep right now?” The tired but soft voice of her tia spoke from behind. 

“Hola Tía Pepa. Do you need anything?” Isa asked, ignoring her question with a smile, summoning a small rose in Pepa’s hair. Her tia smiled tiredly. 

“Nothing now, I just came to get some breakfast started,” She said with a yawn. Isa held back a cringe. 

Perhaps the thing she missed most about her mother was good food. Pepa practically insisted on making everything, only relenting for Abuela. As such, the family found themselves rather hungry most days… if they still had their appetite, that was. 

Isa couldn’t recall the last time she had seen her father eat. It seemed at almost every meal he was in Mamá’s room and Pepa or Félix would have to bring a tray. 

“That’s good,” Isa nodded with a perfect smile. Pepa nodded, quickly getting out pots and pans. The tween girl stood there, not knowing what else to do. 

When Pepa noticed her still standing there, she asked, “Do you… want to talk about it?” 

Isabella immediately shook her head. “No no, Tía, I’ll just leave you to your cooking.”

She left sharply after exchanging such words, still feeling lingering feelings of anger towards her tia. She had lied to her, after all; swearing Mamá was alright, but then saying she was asleep and before she knew it, Julieta was apparently in a rapid decline. To have given her such false hope– it boiled her blood to think about. 

But anger was imperfect. 

And so she removed herself. 

She kept walking until she realized she was at the front door of Casita. She looked back, pondering her options. However, it wasn’t for long, as she was quick to decide to keep carrying on into town. 

Very few villagers were out and about at this hour, only the occasional child fetching water or farmer setting up their stalls. Señor Molina was out with his accordion, beginning to practice, playing a soft and somber tune to warm up. She didn’t stop to listen. Instead she wandered alone through town, decorating lamp posts, benches, railings alike all with the blessed orange and pink flowers, replacing the previous days as they began to rot. 

The more her mother wasted away in her room, the more her flowers wasted too. 

The girl didn’t feel much, a certain ache filling her arms and chest. Her posture fought to slump, as she wanted nothing more than to sit down and fold in, to let everything just consume her already. But she resisted. 

Isabella Madrigal stood up straight. She created beautiful flowers. She was a beautiful flower. She couldn't let others know how fast they were withering– she had to fix it. Fix everything. Before anyone found out. 

Isabella Madrigal was perfect. 

She was perfect. 

She was–

“I-isabella? What are– uh– what are you doing here? It’s a little early, isn’t it,” A village boy spoke to her– Mariano Guzman! 

“Hola, Mariano. I just decided to get an early start on the day,” She said with her typical (and fake) warm smile. 

“Would you– uh– want to sit down?” He asked, scooting over on the bench for which he sat. Isa contemplated this a moment, looking the boy up and down before taking her place. 

“How’s your Mamá doing?” 

Of course he’d ask that. 

“She’s doing okay, I think. I’m not really ‘in the know’ though,” Isa shrugged, creating flowers that wrapped around the edge of the bench railing. 

“They’re lovely flowers,” He moved on, which Isa noted gratefully.

“Thank you. I’ve had a lot of practice,” she said perfectly. 

“They-they’re uh– they’re just as pretty as you,” He said, his face turning as red as a tomato. Isa blinked. 

“Thank you..?” Isa couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Mariano cleared his throat, his face going back to its usual shade. 

“S-sorry, I’ll work on that,” He wrote something down in a pocket journal. Isa just nodded slowly. An awkward moment of silence passed as the sounds of the village coming to life slowly surrounded the pair, and they knew they wouldn’t have long before they’d have to split. 

“I… I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m very sorry for your mama’s case. I hope she gets well soon, and not just for the village,” He said, looking her in the eyes. Isa smiled a much more genuine and soft smile. 

“Thank you, Mariano,” she said, hugging him. She stayed still a moment before whispering, “I’m… I’m really scared for her… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I want to help, but I-i’m not allowed to go in there, and Dolores says I wouldn’t want to hear it and Luisa is all scared and–” “Hey, it’ll be okay, Isa,” Mariano interrupted the spiral. “You just gotta hold on a little longer.” 

Right. Yes, of course.

God, what was she even doing right now? 

“You’re right, Mariano. Thank you,” She sniffled weakly before standing. “Now… If you’ll excuse me, I have to go finish my rounds.” 

The boy looked confused, but nodded and Isa left without another word. 

She was so, so very tired of holding on. 

She still had to, though. Even if she had to tie the ropes around her wrists, she was going to trudge through this , keeping everything deep, deep down and be perfect because that was what the village and the family needed. 

Isa eventually finished her rounds, even goin around the village twice, when she saw Dolores clutching her skirt and running towards her at full speed. 

“Isa! Isa! It’s your mamá!” 

Blood drained from the older girl’s face, as she ran to meet with her cousin. 

“Dolores, que le pasa a Mamá?” Isa hurriedly asked, feeling thorns crawl up her skin. 

“S-she keeps calling for you– Keeps calling your name. I came to get you as fast I could– Buenos dias, it’s so loud ,” she said that last part to herself, covering her ears and shaking her head. Isa gave her cousin a quick squeeze for both of their comfort before springing back to Casita, ignoring the curious looks and hot tears streaming down her face. 

She practically busted down the doors of the house, ignoring everyone calling her name as she ran with all her might, Casita helping along, to her mother’s room.  

The light of her door flickered so strongly.

“Isa! Isabella! The verbena!” Her mother cried, her voice hoarse, blood dripping from her mouth, bringing Isa’s rage to a halt. The twelve year old stood frozen in the doorway a moment, trying her best not to gawk or turn over sick at the sight and smells before her. 

“M-mami, I’m right here. I’m right here Mami,” She said, pulling her feet off the ground and slowly making her way to her bed. Julieta’s eyes shot open wide, looking at her daughter. A putrid shade of yellow had almost overwhelmed her beautiful dark brown eyes. She shakily opened her hand towards her daughter, and Isa grabbed it instantly.  

A begonia tuberosa summoned instinctively around their hands.

Julieta smiled a little. 

“Mi Isa, mi hermosa flor, you are here,” She squeezed Isa’s hand, which trembled.

“What do you need, mami? I’m right here, I’ll do anything– just tell me, Mami,” She kneeled by the bed. 

“Do… do you remember the flower, Verbena? Little pink flowers? Wore them at your first communion,’ She shivered. 

“I-i… I don’t remember anything, Mami. It’s been so long since you taught me.” 

Julieta’s smile grew softer, as she lifted her other arm to Isa’s face, tucking her hair back. “I-i know, mi flor. I miss you… I miss you so much.” 

Isa’s tears increased tenfold, as she all but collapsed weeping onto her mother’s bed. Julieta held her carefully, stroking her hair with a sweaty hand. 

“Mi bebé… You used to be so small,” Julieta chuckled a little. “You still are small, but you are full of big worries. I’m so sorry, mi flor.”

“Don’t be sorry M-mami,” Isa sat up and wiped her eyes, guilt filling every inch of her body. “It’s not your fault– I’m the one who doesn’t make time.” 

Julieta chilled once again. “Isa, bebé, I-i don’t know how long I have. I-i keep forgetting, I keep… seeing things, i-its getting worse. I hate to ask you mi flor, you are so young, but i need you to help me, okay? I need you to read the red book with white letters. It has the Verbena. A-ask Abuela to make tea. It should help, if I remember correctly,” 

Isa nodded seriously, wiping the tears off her face. “R-red book, white letters.” 

Julieta smiled. “You’re so beautiful, Isabella. Te quiero mucho, mucho.” 

“Yo también te amo, mamá,” Isa sniffled, forcing a smile. Julieta frowned at that. 

“I’m so sorry, Isa,” she sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m so sorry…” 

“Mami?” Isa shook her mama’s arm. “Mami, a-are you okay..?” 

No reply. 

Asleep once more. 

Isa curled up under her mother’s arm a moment, listening to her slow heartbeat and heavy breathing. She knew she couldn’t stay long– she had work to do (as seemed to be a pattern in her life…). This work was different though, it would do actual good– it could save her mamá! 

Isabella sprung up in an instant, running to her mama’s bookshelf, quickly scanning through for a red book with white letters. She began to scan the bookshelf when she heard the door creak behind her. 

“Isabella? Is Julieta alright?” Abuela Alma was at the door. Isa tensed, quickly wiping her face before turning over and nodding. 

“She remembered a flower that could help with yellow fever and since I don’t remember it she wants me to find it in her books so I can make it,” She said with a forced smile. 

“Always so helpful,” Alma smiled at her granddaughter. “What’s the title of the book?” 

“Mamá didn’t remember. She just said it was a red book with white letters,” Isa went back to her urgent scanning. Alma furrowed her eyebrows. 

“I don’t think Julieta owns a book like that,” She remarked, making her way towards the shelves. “And we already had Pepa scan through those whole books for something useful, if it had mentioned a cure, we would’ve noticed.”

Isabella started to feel sick. 

“I’m going to keep looking, just in case,” She determined, continuing to scan and pick up books. 

“Isabella, your mother is… unwell. Perhaps she gave the wrong description. Her mind is very sick, I think it would be better for the village if you helped with flowers, no?” Abuela tried to gently steer. 

“B-but… can’t I at least try to help Mamá? Surely my flowers are meant for more than to just look pretty,” Isa looked at the floor. 

The matriarch sighed. “All I know is that Pepa never found anything useful in those books of Julieta’s, and I don’t want you to get your hopes up for nothing. Besides, to help the village is to help Julieta. I'm sure when she feels better she'd appreciate it if the village was decorated with your lovely flowers.” 

Ouch. 

“ So you’re just giving up on her? Why? Isn’t she your daughter? She’s my Mamá– I have to do something! I can’t just stand here and look pretty. I might be the only one capable of actually saving her and you’re going to tell me I’m just wasting my time???” Isa’s mind screamed at Abuela, though Isa remained perfectly still. 

“...Can I at least go to the library?” She asked. 

Alma sighed. “It’s getting rather late, isn’t it? I don’t even know if Señor Sánches will even be there.” 

Isa could feel the dull beating of her heart in her chest, a heavy weight in her stomach. 

“I… please, Abuela?” She asked, looking her grandmother in the eyes. 

“No, Isabella. It is a fool's errand. I don’t want you getting your hopes up about a cure, we already tried that. Julieta is hallucinating again, or at least misremembering,” Abuela placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. Isa looked at the ground and nodded solemnly. 

She really wanted to believe her mother was right, she really, really did. But… Abuela was right, Julieta didn’t own a book like that. Flipping through all of them revealed books on herbs, medicines, and diseases but the ones on yellow fever never claimed a cure and none of them mentioned the verbena.

“I’m gonna go to my room,” Isa said. Alma gave her a quick hug before Isa headed out, taking a moment to glance back at her mother. 

She looked horrible. 

Isa closed her eyes and went out to her room. 

Once she closed her door, she walked over to her bed, climbed onto the middle, and collapsed into sobs once again. Roses turned to blue orchids that bent over and mourned, and begonia tuberosa began  to grow and climb up the vines holding up her bed. If she were her tía, she could easily imagine the thunderstorm. 

God, this was just so… hopeless. Isa couldn’t do anything and yet she was still expected to do everything. She was expected to be perfect, to act like everything was okay for the village because the rest of her family was doing a whole lot worse at acting otherwise– especially Pepa and Papá. And what Abuela said! Goddddd what Abuela said made her blood boil. 

A fool’s errand. A fool’s errand to try and save her Mamá! Isa wished she had the courage to rebel against Alma and go to the library anyway, but alas, she didn’t. 

A fool’s errand. 

Her mama wouldn’t lie to her like that. 

A fool’s errand. 

Wait a minute… 

A fool’s… errand!

Mariano! 

She could write a message on a flower or write out a request on vines for him to go find the book for her! It would be hard, considering just how far away Casita was from his home, but she would at least try. It also didn’t help that she never attempted such a task, but Isa at least had to try. 

For Mamá. 

Focusing as hard as she could, Isa created a large pink petal with her magic, with the following note on it: 

“Mariano,

I need you to get a book from the library that’s red with white lettering. It’s for Mamá. 

Gracias!

-Isabella”

It was kind of hard to read and Isa had no idea how she expected it to get there, but she made her bed lift itself towards the sunroof, which opened with a wave of her hand, and hoping and praying and trying to use her gift as best she could, she sent it off with the breeze. 

She could only hope it would reach  Mariano– and that he’d be able to get it by tomorrow morning when she made her morning flower run. She needed to get this done asap, who knew how long her mamá really had left. 

Plus, her Mamá was counting on her. 

And Isabella Madrigal was going to be damned before she let her mamá down. 

[maleyanderecafe]

Hey there was a mobile game I wanted to recommend you check out! It’s called MazM: The Phantom of the Opera. Obviously the phantom himself is a well-known character and prime example of a yandere, and this version’s Raoul also takes on that trait a little (although it’s mostly because Christine is in a life or death situation and this he’s protective over her), he’s very sweet and doesn’t wait a moment to shower her with praise. Anyway it’s a pretty faithful retelling of the original book and was extra fun for me as a yandere-lover as you play as Christine caught in between the yandere and the actual boyfriend. I think it’s coming to the switch soon as well if you want to wait for that.

...Are you sure that Raoul just takes on this trait a bit...?

Joking aside, sorry it took me so long to answer this ask. I was originally going to watch a walkthrough on youtube, but then I realized that you said it would be on switch and since I just got my switch emulator, I ended up playing with a friend. I will say that there is a lot for me to say about this game, so this will be a long read.

First things first, I'll admit that I've never actually read or watched the Phantom of the Opera before, so I genuinely have no idea what happens in the story. This is where my friend who I was streaming for comes in because she has read the story so she helped fill me in on what happens (she's also making a yandere vn in the future which I will be spamming the heck out of because yandere vn). I think from what she told me, most of the story is relatively accurate, though some parts are changed for one reason or another (for instance, The Persian has a name in this game, but in the original, he doesn't), which has some pros and cons for some characters. Overall though, the story was pretty good for a first timer like me since it really let me experience what the Phantom of the Opera is truly about. I think the creator Mazm did a good job for historical detail, which makes sense considering their platform is about creating games that reinterpret famous stories (they've also done one for Wizard of Oz and Jekyll and Hyde which I sort of want to play), and there are a lot of different notes the player can collect in the game that give more historical insight into what is going on.

The story for the most part is pretty linear. There are some choices you can choose, but except for two, they don't really affect the story. For the most part, the game plays as a visual novel, though you do have to walk around to talk or interact with things to proceed the story. There are cats and notes that lie around the game too, with the notes giving more historical insight and the cats being used as hints in case you don't know where to go. The story is about a detective trying to find out the truth of the Phantom of the Opera at a request of a client whos husband was a victim of him, but most of the story is played through a flashback.

There are also small minigames as well that aren't too difficult, though I honestly felt like some of the minigames got to be tedious at times, specifically the one minigame where you have to press the order of the mirror combo which I found really annoying because besides the fact that I'm bad at those games, you had to do it every time you wanted to enter under the Opera house, which was just... ugh. The game itself seems much more optimized for mobile than it was for switch considering how slow the characters move (and its really slow walking to different places sometimes) as well as the fact that it takes forever to load between different scenes and there's no touch screen option for switch (that I know of). Plus the buttons for moving and pressing hints were annoying to deal with (though this could just be because I'm using an emulator). I also kept getting confused when I was playing, since sometimes I would walk around the entire opera house trying to figure out what to do next, only to learn that I was suppose to talk to someone that was literally five steps from where I spawned. The last thing I found annoying was the fact that there's no option to skip dialogue which is really annoying when I wanted to replay a specific part of the story to take some screenshots. If you play this game, it's probably better to play it on mobile than on switch.

In terms of artwork, Mazm's Phantom of the Opera is really gorgeous, from the overworld sprites to the dialogue sprites to the background and CGs. I love how cute the overworld sprites are (I think Jammes and Raoul's are my favorite, they're both so cute) and every background is really nice to walk through and gives a good atmosphere of what it's trying to show. The character sprites for each characters are nice and varied. I can always appreciate characters that have recognizable faces and shapes, since a lot of times I have face blindness when it comes to characters that look way too similar. The CGs of course are super well done and I love all of them. Overall, the artstyle of this game is very solid and I love the way it looks.

The main character of the story was Christine, who looks really good ( I really love her hair), was for the most part alright initially. While I found her to be a bit naive (because she believed that there was an actual Angel of Music when it was just... the Phantom), she was for the most part alright, and even ended up saving another character from the phantom. However, I found her actions annoying after she met the phantom, specifically the part where she agreed to stay underground with the phantom for two days and would be released as long as she didn't touch his mask, and guess what. Right as she was literally about to leave, SHE TAKES OFF HIS MASK, AND FOR WHAT? YOU WERE JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE?? The other thing that bothered me was the after being trapped with the Phantom for about a month, she is given free reign to go back above ground, under the conditions that she only goes to the opera house and at home. During this time, she's expected to break it off with Raoul, so she fakes a honeymoon with him before he leaves for the artic. However, during this time, she doesn't tell anyone, not even Raoul about what the Phantom is up to. She has an entire month, an ENTIRE MONTH to tell someone that the Phantom is likely to hurt people (as previously he had dropped a chandelier on top of the audience) and she just... didn't. Understandably, she might have been afraid that the Phantom might have heard her, but still, what is he going to do to the possible 100 people that Christine could have told about him. She could have saved people from death if something like that were to happen. Near the end, she does get proper character development and learns to choose things for her sake and not others, which was pretty nice and does stand up to the Phantom after all the trauma (and doesn't get stockholm sydrome, thank goodness), but I still think that a lot of her actions could have probably been written better to make her less naive (since apparently in the original she was about 16ish while in this remake she's about 20 so it's less awkward between her and the phantom).

Raoul is the next character I'll be talking about, because even though he is very adorable, he also has one braincell and talks about Christine way too much. My friend and I actually decided to make a counter on how many times Erik and Raoul say "Christine." Erik says Christines name 128 times and Raoul... says it 340 times. This isn't even counting his introduction and only starts up to when Erik is introduced as a formal character and also doesn't count any time he says it in the overworld. 340! My friend kept on joking around that because Raoul says Christine so much, his brother Phillipe became an alcoholic because he's so tired of Raoul talking about Christine. Raoul only really has like three things going for him: the fact that he was in the military, the fact that he's part of the Chagny household and Christine, and that's it. Throughout the story, his goals are pretty much always related to Christine, whether it be to give gifts to Christine, being worried about her or trying to protect Christine from the Phantom. When the chandelier drops on half the crowd during one of the performances, instead of being worried for them or trying to get out of the Opera House, he instead looks for Christine, who is on stage and quite literally in the safest location within the theater. I would consider him a redeemed/protective yandere though, considering his priority is always Christine (he even gives up his own family name to be with her) and he's always trying to protect her. There's a part of the story where Raoul becomes really unhinged when it comes to protecting Christine, lashing out her her friends and other members of the Opera house. He does some really dumb stuff because of the Phantom, specifically throwing away Christine's ring that she got from the Phantom (that she also literally told him before that as long as she's wearing the ring she wouldn't be harmed by the phantom and he just...?? okay??). When he's tortured in the mirror room, he hallucinates Christine blaming him for her capture, and he even cries while hallucinating that Christine friendzones him (which I though was actually really funny, even if it was a tad bit stupid). His redemption comes near the end of the story where he apologizes for being so emotional and realizing that he was a bit of an obsessive beast, and in one ending he lets Christine go to travel the world. To be honest, I don't know if Raoul would continue to be as protective and obsessed with her even after the Phantom's death, but I guess there's not really any way to know.

The Phantom, or Erik (which I know is his cannon name but it makes me laugh because he really doesn't look like an Erik) is the main villain of the story. Unfortunately, in this version, I don't think I can call him a yandere, for one simple character: Melek. Melek, as far as I know isn't in the original story, is a prisoner that Erik has after she refused to marry her. As a character, I do actually like Melek since she's the one of the more sensible characters in the story and she's the more rational one between her and Christine, but her role in the story basically deconfirms Erik as a yandere, at least in this version. For one, Melek is a blind maid of Erik that he did fall in love with and trap, similar to how Christine was, which kind of comes off as Erik being the kind of person who would trap any girl that he likes. Even if this is the case, I don't understand why Erik would keep her alive even after she fell for Christine. Supposedly the reason is that Erik wanted to make Christine feel despair and he did attempt to kill her, but Melek survives and he just... doesn't do anything with her. Honestly, if Melek were straight up not in the story, I would have put him as a yandere because pretty much all of his other actions point to a more possessive/worship type of yandere, but because of Melek it's just not possible in my eyes. Besides that Erik sort of reminds me of a chunni in this version (he's like this absolute darkness is my curse! Like people with 7th grade syndrom seem to have), it was kind of hard for me to take him seriously in certain times. He is very intimidating when he threatens Christine, but his overdramatic nature (which I know is something he's always known for, just this version is uh...) really makes him seem like a child. Erik is for sure suppose to be more antagonistic in this version, considering the addition of Melek and his general actions of possession towards Christine and his disdain for Raoul, but near the end we do see more of his story and we see just how devastating his life is from the moment of birth. I did feel really bad for him when Hatim/The Persian keeps on mentioning the prince he used to work with because its really obvious that he still has trauma from it (and he keeps begging him to not talk about his past and the Persian just... keeps traumatizing him I guess) and the fact that he was treated so badly because of his appearance, but this doesn't excuse his actions in the story. Christine does try to sympathize with him using her own tragic backstory, which Erik kind of pushes away (like bro, we're not trying to see whose parents are worse, she's just trying to sympathize with you, dang) as not being tragic. I think that Mazm did present him pretty well in this story, not showing just his antagonistic side but also his more tragic side. Sadly, like I said, I can't consider him a yandere because of the addition of Melek, at least not in this version.

In terms of other characters, I really like the trio of Meg Giry, Sorelli and Jammes- the friends of Christine. From what I can tell, they're all a bit more aged up in this version, with Sorelli being the oldest and Jammes being the youngest and I feel like they gave more character to them than in the original version. Sorelli is the head of the dancers and the dating partner of Phillip de Chagny, Raoul's older brother and she's the mature and strong willed one of the group, wielding a blade that she uses to protect her friends. I like the fact that they made her a bit more protective and in one of the overworld sprites its mentioned via rumor that Phillip fell in love with her after he saw Sorelli swing her dagger, which I thought was pretty cute. At the end though, after Phillips death, she realizes that she was struggling too hard to climb up the social ladder and decides to forge her own path. In the beginning she attempts to protect her and her friends from the Phantom, declaring that she'll stab him if she sees him. Next is Meg Giry, and from what my friend told me, she was very young in the original books and kind of scardy cat. In this version, she's a bit older but maintains the scardy cat position, and is very terrified of the Phantom. She does gain more character development during the story, standing up to her mother and the managers and overall being a more assertive and confident person, which I thought was a nice touch. Last but certainly not least is my best girl Jammes. In the original story, she barely makes an appearance, but in Mazm they made her quite literally the best character. For one, the canonical reason why there are so many cats hanging out in the opera house is that Jammes keeps on feeding them and letting them in and she has named all of them after the Opera House staff. Jammes loves to spin and has a cute animation and while she can be loud and a bit strange sometimes, she can be smart and assertive when she needs to. Jammes always pushes the other three into being better and protects them when needed (for instance, when Phillip lashes out at Sorelli, she steps in and demands that he apologize for his actions) and can be really smart at times (she's the only character that attempts to at least cover her mouth when the Phantom's fragrance, a hallucinogenic gas, starts to fill up the box seat, despite others who have been in there not even trying) and is the one who stands up for Christine's abuse as well as for the dancers at the opera house being treated unfairly by the manager as she organizes a strike against them. She also becomes part of the women's suffrage after the events of the story. I could go on and on about Jammes, but instead I'll leave a cute picture of her at the end of this entire analysis. Besides those three, I did like Carlotta, the original singing lead of the opera house. Originally, she became an antagonist towards Christine after she became the lead singer, however, she did apologize to her afterwards and befriended her once more before traveling the world. I love her interactions with Raoul because she basically said that Raoul only has Christine and military training and when he gets angry and lashes out, Carlotta glares and him, causing him to cower (this actually does happen multiple times), and I just found that really, really funny. Mifoid, though useless in the story is actually pretty cute as well, I love his bouncing animation. The last character I'll talk about is Phillip because he became meme material for me and my friend considering he probably is so tired of Raoul talking about Christine (we joked that the reason he was sent to military was so that he didn't have to hear her name again) and while he is mostly a decent but strict character in the story, his last appearance really makes him out as a jerk. I did think it was kind of weird that Phillip was so willing to let Raoul go to the Artic mission considering nobody that has gone there has ever returned, and he was rather elitest towards him, not letting him marry Christine because she's of lower

class but during his last chapter before he dies, he goes on a frenzy after he and Raoul have a fight, revealing to Sorelli that he only dated her for fun and not to actually settle down with her, which is just horrible. It's a bit sad though that Raoul only saw him as someone who tried to get rid of him considering that Phillip did raise Raoul and that his last actions were an attempt to save Phillip from the phantom, and yet Raoul barely has a reaction after seeing his body and doesn't even go to his funeral. It's really sad that Raoul didn't even really cry after seeing Phillip's body, considering that he was basically his father figure.

Overall, it's a good game to play and a good retelling of the Phantom of the Opera. I wouldn't consider the Phantom to be a yandere in this game, but I do think that Raoul is one. Thank you for this recommendation!