#i have refused to think abt this till it is shoved into my head again <- will think then stop myself then think again then stop myself then
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fuck
well fuck
#[🔮] rambles ~#well thats one eloquent way to put it#KDJSJSUDJSHSJSJSHAHSHSJAJAAAAAAAAAASJDJDJIDJDHDJDUDUD {<- me and my thoughts rn}#UGHHHHH#I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL TF#DHHEJSJDHD#FUCK#what an AMAZING time to start having feelings :////////#IDK I LIKE IT BUT I DONT BUT I DO BUT WTF#AND I CANT GET DISTRACTED MORE THAN I ALREADY AM#BUT UFHHHHH#DJDJJSJS#this is literally all im capable of expressing rn#fuck#AAAAAAAA#its like my brain got tired of me tap dancing around and refusing my feelings#“nahhhh i dont like himmm ” <- me saying from three years and having managed to mostly convince myself and lock up the rest of thefeelings#-in The Box Of Things I Dont Think About#my brain tired of my bullshit: violently shoves extremely vivid and sweet dream that i will not forget so that i finally realise#ive been thinking abt him but avoiding thinking abt him the whole day at the samr time 😭😭😭😭#ESP SINCE IVE COME HOME BC I DONT WANT MY MOM TO NOTICE#but UGH#I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT HIM THEN STOPPING MYSELF DURING THE EXAM CRYING FOR FUCKS SAKE#i have refused to think abt this till it is shoved into my head again <- will think then stop myself then think again then stop myself then#FEELINGS ARE SO INCONVENIENT OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAA#delete later#i cannot bear to have the evidence 😭😭
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