#this is doing damage to me in many ways
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ik i always complain abt it but i feel like its so over any time im out with my brother and he looks certifiably like a high schooler his age and i look like he just picked me up from middle school.
#cliffnotes/.txt#like 😭#i fear im not gonna start looking my age for like another 20 years considerinf my parents are now looking like theyre in their 40s#and both are past 50#this is doing damage to me in many ways#bc i feel like no one takes me seriously already on normal things#but ppl def dont take me serious on my gender/sexuality#and i always feel like i am not a dating candidate bc ppl think im much younger than i am.#i am not turning to makeup to fix this thats never happening
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you win. try again?
#homestuck#home2t4ck#hom3stuck#dave strider#bro strider#beta bro#abuse#blood#admin draws#fanart#uhh i dont usually say this but please dont tag as ship lmao#i usually live and let live but this is a domestic abuse situation. i wouldnt really be cool with that.#that out of the way. so many thoughts about these 2#its like. bro is a bad guardian right. hes just more than shit at it.#but it never felt to me like it was malicious. hes doing irreparable damage but its something he thinks is necessary#or is unaware of the extent of it. either way.#i feel like in this situation he'd be proud of his little bro. lil guy did something impressive after all.#who cares that he himself got hurt for it. like even tho he might realize this is upsetting for dave. he might hope that its vindicating#but its not. dave is just horrified. because its just violence#defeating the villain and being the hero doesnt feel good. it never has#OUGHGHG anyways i drew more. today it felt like pulling teeth but i have too many ideas and theyre getting otu on the canvas one way#or another
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some starfires i’ve drawn a bit over time i miss her (i refuse to read titans 2023)
#first one inspired by that beyoncé picture 🤧honestly there’s so many pic of bey during her tour that i saved to draw starfire as but#i don’t draw as much as i used to i’ve got a gf now and gained new hobbies 🥲it’s kinda melancholic i miss drawing tbh#starfire#koriander#kory anders#titans#ntt#new teen titans#dc comics#dc#art#fan art#now that i think of it i don’t think i actually ever finished reading ntt maybe i should persevere just for her#i love ntt but it gets to a point where like okay marv is brined out and has no idea what to do😭which i can’t blame for me too#and i refuse to read anything that damages my perception of dickkory#if i don’t read it it doesn’t exist#and tom taylor and i have beef so i refuse to touch anything he writes 😒#i love tags man all social medias should have them#it’s like i can blabber about anything but don’t feel too loud about it#i use twitter way more and stopped using other social medias tbh but nothing beats tumblr tags
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19 | Jared McCann x American Teenager - Ethel Cain
Part 5 of the Spotify Wrapped x Hockey series
#Spotify wrapped x hockey#why has this man worn so many numbers#I’m face blind as hell why would you do this to me#happy new year this is my gift to everyone but especially to Baz#it was a very very close call between McCann and Spezza for this#but seeing that McCann primer a few days ago has done Damage#jared mccann#pittsburgh penguins#vancouver canucks#florida panthers#Seattle kraken#have you ever seen a team so motivated by love by the way#other than the 22/23 leafs#mine#hockey#hockey edit#hockey art
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin
#''bruce never recruited any kids for his mission/war'' falls apart immediately when u consider jason's backstory im ngl#jason todd#my dc posting#his whole character to me is breaking the conventions of the medium#batman#like i hate how ppl treat others like theyre ridiculous when they even dare to critique bruce in any way#i am capable of suspending my disbelief and accepting some things in fiction as okay even if they wouldnt be irl#its the viewers responsibility to meet stories whre theyre at#but its also the story's responsibility to upkeep that yknow?#''child/teen sidekicks are okay n not morally dubious'' okay :D yay :3#then one of them gets brutally murdered by a villain and im like. yeah uhh no. cant do that anymore 👍sorry#''they all became vigilantes on their own bruce couldnt have stopped them'' yall under the impression bruce hates kid heroes n wants them#properly safe n is just doing damage control/harm prevention#when hes more the lines of encouraging them#difference between ''i cant stop u from doing this so ill make it as safe as i can'' and#''im actively going to encourage you to do this dangerous thing''#i have many opinions n im ngl theyre constantly shifting n they depend on a lot#im not gonna hate on lego batman for robin thats a goddamn childrens movie who tf gives a shit#comics are fair game tho. have u seen what gows on in there.#bruce couldve stopped jason from being a vigilante n instead encouraged him is the hill i will fucking die on#the victim blaming of jason has Got to stoppp its the worst thing ever#also just to remind everyone. ''a good soldier''.#wow a character blames themselves for the death of their child and to torture themselves they put the words 'good soldier' on their memorial#anyway if you even dare to think abt the implications ure stupid n#like do u hear urself whattt
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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very sad this morning seeing Ryan and Shane leaving youtube to start yet another exclusive subscription service :/
#this is a monumentally shitty idea#then entire comment section is UNIFIED ive never seen that before akfjsks#i had to say that early accessing like cc makers do here would have been way better#but now at this point the damage is done and a lot of people feel disappointed that they seem to care more about the money#and honestly i dont think they produce enough content to justify a whole new service#i love the mcelroys way more and what they do is so much better#youtube already has a built in tier sevice why cant they just do that???#anyway i have so many thoughts on this#i honestly watched ryan and shane way more than when they were on buzzfeed#i watched for their dynamic and how fucking funny they are together not for the quality of the shows#so many people do not understand that people watch them for them not for high value production is#first matpat then jacksepticeye soon and now this :/#im DREADING the day gab smolders inevitability retires because shes my comfort youtuber she and her content has gotten me#through some of my worst moments#ill shut up now#someone tell me how many dislikes their announcement has on yt im so curious akfkska#oh also and its like dont they get their fanbase is mostly young people who probably cant afford another streaming service#on top of bills and the cost of living now??
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🍰🥛
#i've been so good not complaining about this... so im gonna do it now :3#early this week during my walk... a point in my shoulder / collarbone / neck started hurting so bad#it was at that level where your saliva production increases and you start feelings slightly nauseous#idk if it was bc it was so painful OR if the pain is at a point that puts pressure on certain nerves#and during the week i've felt it on and off but at a much lowe intensity#but this morning i woke up at 6am and couldnt fall asleep bc it hurt too much 🥴#i've googled sm but i just cant figure out at all what it could be... this doesnt fit any description#it isnt focused in my shoulder joint bc i can move my arm in all directions and degrees and it doesnt make it worse#anyway i read and read but i cant figure out at all what it is and that annoys me bc now idk what to do T-T#it could maybeeeee be that im so fkn tense and always have muscle tension in my neck throat and shoulders#it is possible that it now hit a specific pressure point and now i have a pinched nerve type of situation where my muscles are tensed up#or it is bc i could have done certain exercises wrong at the gym#im always so anxious and cautious abt exercising wrong but i still cant ever be sure if i do it correctly :(((#i might have used one of the machines for shoulders/biceps/back incorrectly#like maybe the seat has been too high or low :/// and now i've strained smth???#it made me so sad tho bc when i was at the gym this week i skipped all upperbody exercises bc im too scared 😔#i want it to pass bc like it actually hurts in such a weird and uncomfortable way like it makes me wanna puke and it comes in waves#but nothing makes it better like not heat not painkillers not stretches ... so im just not doing too much#and hope it will go away :'))) but also now im scared of exercising bc what if im doing it wrong and damage my body?!? 😭#i hate my body bc i have so many random unexplainable pains and it is so annoying >.<#ok now i've complained so i feel better ^-^
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Not you supporting Chris Evans propaganda character who was israel’s way of showing people they are innocent and angels 🤢🤢🤢 and still thirsting over him
Shame on you
Before you say Ari is a jew you’re wrong he’s a zio
Ari isn’t real I hope that helps!
#and I’ve been so open about how damaging that movie is in so many ways#israeli propaganda in movie form#not only that but the portrayal of Muslims in that movie is so…. like seriously wtf#on top of that it’s not even a well researched movie since everyone knows the Ethiopian Jews were then forcibly sterilised upon arrival#arrival in Israel#I’ve also been open about being disappointed in Chris for being in that movie#but atp I do not care about him as a celeb or what he does#I don’t even care about canon Ari levinson#he’s just a face claim for me atp#and anyone with a brain has understood that#bc I’ve had multiple discussions about it on my blog#the question with you is do you wanna discuss that or do you just wanna mindlessly attack people?#without an ounce of critical thinking?#bc we are both on the same side here aren’t we#so why is your first gut instinct to attack me#anon
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I don’t know why this feels like such a hot take on this site (and in general lately tbh) but like.
I just think that if someone seems to be seeking or hoping for praise for doing the right thing, especially if they aren’t used to doing that right thing, you should praise them.
I really do not care if it “should be the bare minimum.” You want more of that good behavior? You gotta use positive reinforcement.
Punishing someone for doing the right thing just because it’s Basic Good Behavior to you (are you even as consistent as you think?) is a sure fire way to get them to do less of that thing.
Stop being so fucking resentful and start letting people know you appreciate their efforts to do good and be better.
#& don’t twist this to be something it’s not.#any social interaction discussed this way gets stripped of its context#and any form of social relation can be taken to extremes or otherwise weaponized#but in the vast vast majority of cases people just want a social signal that they did well#that they’re on the right track#what’s the harm in praising someone for doing the right thing. ever.#hint there is none. there is no downside to saying hey good job to someone who did in fact do a good job#there are however many potential benefits to doing so#and additionally the cost of not doing so can be very fucking high indeed#(see: pushing someone back towards dangerous/damaging ideologies or mindsets bc humans NEED VALIDATION#and if we try to escape toxic mindsets and ideologies only to be met with invalidation & punishment#well#there is already a whole group of shitheads waiting for me and they’ve got their arms wiiide open ready to comisserate.)
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the Damar Hamilin situation is horrific for a lot of reasons, obviously, but it still just... i am honestly at a loss for words at how the NFL is&has been handling it.
like, this wasn't a mistake or an accident, this was a function of the game&a clean play. there was no foul, as far as i could tell or have heard. an extremely healthy&well trained young man almost fucking died as a function of the game, &the NFL is not only trying to deny their callousness at the event in general:
they have got whole cardiologists on deck trying to explain what happened like it wasn't a CLEAN HIT THAT STOPPED HIS HEART ON NATIONAL TELEVISION:
[image text: From your perspective, what are the possible causes of Hamlin's cardiac arrest?
Dr. Baggish: There's a long list: there are genetic and congenital abnormalities which could be at play, I know there's been speculation about the blunt force from the tackle, but I would say that it's really premature to make any speculation. In fact, to jump to a conclusion would be a mistake. The diagnosis of commotio cordis, for example [which refers to a fatal disruption of the heart rhythm from a blow to the chest], is what we call a diagnosis of exclusion, meaning other things have been eliminated. We would never conclude that unless other factors have been ruled out. /text]
this shit is fucking evil.
#like i had to stop looking at articles about this last night bc some of them just fucking made me wild.#&like i just cant believe how comfortable this organization is about making it clear how disposable their players#are. i have so many feelings&thoughts about how this is supposed to be the dream for so many poor kids#esp poor kids of colour. how my brothers gave whole parts of their bodies as literal children to the cause of#sports scholarships&what potential that could give them. how not only is that already a pipe dream for the most part#but even the lucky ones end up. here.#arguing about their rights after a career worth of concussions&having literal brain damage played down#&thats without even getting into the very obvious racial aspect of things.#like i know i shouldnt be surprised at all after the last few years but. like is just.#like another article talks to a different cardiologist who calls this a 'rare condition' which only really impacts kids in sports.#&its like. okay so even when youre willing to acknowledge the reality of the situation you STILL need to act like this is a fReAk AcCiDeNt?#&your way to do that is by saying 'oh this usually only happens to KIDS who play these sports'?????? fucking WHAT???
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inadvertently stopped using my freckle fade cream without thinking.... right around the time i started making gifs of felix.... coincidence?
#positive influence.....#i do wonder sometimes how jarring it must have been for he and lil chris to go from australia to korea#bc i copped shit for being pale and freckly as a kid#i have a core memory of this girl talia wearing a country bumpkin costume with these cartoonish freckles drawn on and she pointed at me#and was like Lol im jessie haha and i was like Okay so you want to fight??#another time had to do some speech and when i finished and had questions from my classmates and two boys just asked me why i was pale#and why they could see idk i guess my bloodvessels in my legs ??? i didnt even notice like i was just like UHHHH idk ask about my topic#had so many instances like that and they werent terrible but it did make me insecure#like in the 00s here being tan was /it/ you had to be nice and tanned- go lay in the sun and ignore we are number one in melanoma deaths#like it was so consistently the thing... prob why i have so many freckles bc i didnt tan in the sun i freckled#but in both felix and chans aus photos they were quite tanned!#so imagine going from Hey go lay in the sun and get nice and brown ya pale fucker to Do Not Do That. Be pale as a ghost#white as fuck twilight vampire printer paper ass complexion or else you arent the beauty standard must have been so...... odd#idk beauty standards are so fucked and stupid#at least for me it was just like mean it wasnt like systemic. still wasnt nice but its not damaging the same way#but yeah I imagine some of the cultural differences must have been jarring and weird#like when chan said he was glad to get sex ed in australia bc it was comprehensive here and its not something i would have thought about#but yeah he went to school here and there he would know#idk must be hard to be an idol and straddle that line of not wanting to cause any ripples but having your own ideas and beliefs#oh i'd love to talk to him off the record lmao#dont take this as anti korea sentiment btw like australia is also wack#it just must be interseting and sometimes hard...#wow these tags are long SORRY
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Been thinking about my body a lot
#Sel talks#Listened through Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith which talked a lot about how bodies are tools#And the way she talked about how thin-ness shouldn't be something we strive for#And I can't help but draw parallels between my own desire to go on t? I don't know. Been having too many thoughts stewing#I keep coming back to isabeau's line of “maybe it was easier to change into someone I could love than to learn how to love how I was”#And I had drawn both hrt and diet culture back into this; but. Neither of them are from self love?#It's. Idk; a friction? On how you perceive yourself and how the world perceives you?#Or. Idk idk. It's hard to articulate now that I'm trying to get it down#If I remember right; one of the messages of fat talk was how bodies should be for function first and foremost; and should hardly-if ever-#Considered for aesthetic. And yes- trying to loose weight is one of the most damaging aesthetic changes you can do-#Idk! I feel like I'm looking too far into it#Something something you're not happy with how your body looks/is perceived so you want to change it#Whether that's influenced by society; loved ones; or something biological; it's still a desire to change your body#Although one is vastly more accepted than the other#Trying to become thin is trying to make yourself more comfortable in a vastly fatphobic world; to placate the people think they have say#Over your body; make yourself more palettable to the world around you.#Which I guess is an important distinction#Becoming the person you want to be even through everyone telling you that it's wrong or disgusting#But a part of me can't help but think a part of the reason I want to do hrt might have something to do with our male centric society?#I'm too tired to elaborate any further but I feel less busy now that I have it out
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Playing Blasphemous and I *still* haven’t gotten past Our Lady of The Charred Visage. It’s been like a week of me fighting this bitch, losing multiple times, having to take anti-rage-quit breaks, coming back the next day, AND LOSING AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
#tw caps#the high wills have it out for me personally#i should have beat Ten Piedad first but i wanted to help Gemino the olive tree guy#and he dies if you beat another boss before OLoTCV#and viridiana-bless her she’s trying her best- only heals me three times and i immediately take more damage#because i cannot fucking dodge for the life of me#and yes i know i can hit the fireballs back at her but if i do i get hit by like the next three fireballs#with no way to stop them#blasphemous game#blasphemous 2019#too many tags#graaaahhh
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Playing Bomb rush cyberfunk has been a crazy experience so far because i feel like I've been enjoying the game just as much as I'm not doing so
#which is crazy because i went in with the impression that this would be jet set radio but better#and really? the biggest thing is doing for me rn is making me wanna play old-school Jet set radio again#who the fuck looked at Jsr and thought “Hey you know what would make this game even better? 300 different inputs”#which makes it impossible for me to play this solely on the controler (the main way i play games since i suck ass at the keyboard)#because it just doesn't have that many buttons#so at times i gotta be fucking double welding this shit with both the keyboard and the controler and it's awful#because I don't have that good of a motor coordination or whatever the proper term is#on top of that. why did we need a fighting mechanic? that's so fucking unnecessary when Jsr already had a gret way of dealing with that#which was by integrating the grafitti mechanic with the fighting by having it be the way you damage opponents#just adjust that to make it take more hits/graffitis in the fight and boom. you're done. perfectly functional#all it does is take away 3 BUTTONS in a game that already has a shit load of inputs#and ik these same buttons are also used to doing tricks on rails but like. that's such an useless addition#because I'm not actually doing anything like this isn't pulling a move on a fighting game. no skill is needed. I'm just mashing buttons#so you might as well not have both of these machanics and have the buttons be set to do other. more important comands#like the one to manually continue a combo on the ground after getting off of a rail. i gonna hold control on the keyboard and move#my joysticks at the same time whenever i need that and it fucking sucks#so yeah whenever i play it again I'm definitely gonna try mapping my controler to my liking and we'll see how it goes#unrelated to the gameplay i just gotta say. sorry but the songs are so mid#if i knew how to mod things i would replace every single one of them songs from jsf and jsrf. absolutely no doubt about it#like the songs in the jsr games are so unique and distinct from one another. even the ones that have a similar style. which makes them#incredibly memorable like i still remember a good chunk of them from the top of my head and i haven't played that game in months#bomb rush cyberfun songs just feel so samey and forgettable#a similar thing can be said for the environment designs and especially their colors imo#everything within the same area feels incredibly samey and not memorable. and you may think “Carol it's a whole area of course it's gonna#look similar to itself“ and to that i say. yes. cohesion is important but take a look at Kogane and Bento from jsr and you'll see#how despite being the same area and having the a coherent color pallet and overlay applied to it their locations are distinct from eachother#and memorable to the point where i can recall how to traverse thought each area and where they lead to easily#in bomb rush it feels like I'm just looking at the same place everywhere in the map#on a good note! i like the story so so much it's definitely what's gonna cary me through playing the whole game#because jsr really needed more story and fleshed out characters that aren't just different designs you can play as
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