#this is definitely the most surreal timeline

[absolutebl]

It is WILD to me that GMMTV is fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter

That Last Twilight is airing AS WELL

That they optioned 3 JBLs

That The Sign is up there licking kicking ass and taking names (and Saint is behind it!)

That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel

That there are 20 BLs airing right now and none of them Korean.

With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year

Thailand legit looked at 2023 and thought "yeah but we could make it worse better weirder"

[itneverendshere]

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - SEVENTEEN

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: angst; mentions of mental and physical health issues.

In a matter of days, your bump decided to take on a life of its own.

You'd looked the same for months —nothing that screamed months pregnant. Then, last week, something inside you had clicked into place, your belly suddenly rounded out. There was no denying it now; there was no more wondering if you were bloated.

You looked pregnant. 

Seven days ago, you were still able to fit into your regular jeans, brushing off the snugness as a result of a big lunch. And now, your belly recognized the timeline and proudly announced, there’s definitely a baby in here. 

It was wild how everything changed overnight. Shirts that fit fine last week suddenly rode up like crop tops.

You were already at the hospital every week—more than most—hooked up to IVs, getting poked and monitored. You were exhausted, but better, lightheaded on good days. The bump showing up so suddenly only added to the fear. You found yourself blurting out questions to your doctor, "Is this normal? Because it doesn't feel normal." 

She always said yes. Or some version of it. A nod, a glance at the monitor, everything was textbook. But your chest stayed hurting long after the appointment ends.

You haven’t left the house in five days, except for your hospital visits.

You haven’t sat on the steps or cracked open a window wide enough to feel like you're still part of the outside world. You were hiding from the looks, the questions. From yourself. From the surreal curve of your stomach that had hijacked your reflection.

Sarah hasn’t been able to come around—work, shifts, life—and you haven’t let her see a single picture. On the rare occasions she brings up the baby, you change the subject. You say, "Fine," and send a blurry photo of your hand instead. You don’t want her to see it.

You haven’t seen anyone.

Rafe checked in every other day, like clockwork, texting. He asked if you needed anything. You said no. You always said no. If you didn’t want him at your appointments then, it was worse now. You couldn't stomach the idea of him seeing the bump. Of him looking at you and the thing growing inside you, forming a shape under your skin, and yanking you out of the life you once knew.

You knew it was stupid and weak. And kind of pathetic, honestly.

You told yourself that a dozen times a day, a mantra meant to snap you out of it: You couldn't hide forever. But the thing was—there were still months left, and you already felt like you’d hit some breaking point.

You’d been ordering food and whatever else you needed. Groceries, toiletries, overpriced juice you didn't like—anything to avoid setting foot in a public space. The idea of running into someone you knew, or locking eyes with a stranger in the cereal aisle, felt like a nightmare.

Your staff hasn’t been around much since you found out you were pregnant. You paid them like nothing’s changed. They came once a week now, and you made sure you were nowhere to be found when they’re around—either gone or locked in your room, a lonely ghost in your own house.

But today, it changed.

You woke up and the sun felt less hostile through the curtains.

You stared at yourself in the mirror for too long, hoodie lifted enough to see the curve of your belly. It was bigger than yesterday. Or maybe you were looking harder. You pressed a hand there and decided you were done being scared like this.

You were done letting the fear do the driving. You couldn’t stay locked away until your water broke or one of you died—God, no. Even if it was just for groceries, you wanted to try. You needed to.

So you called Sarah.

You didn’t overthink it, which was new. You chewed on your sleeve while it rang. She picked up, breathless, with loud background noise.

"Hey babe! What’s up?"

“Hi.”

“What’s going on?” she asked, and the background noise started to fade; she was moving somewhere quieter. “You sound weird. Tired-weird. Sad-weird.”

You half-laughed, eyes burning. “That obvious, huh?”

“Kind of,” she said gently. “You’ve been MIA. I figured you were nesting or something, but…” She paused. “Is something wrong? With you? With the baby?”

You shook your head before you remembered she couldn’t see it.

“No. I'm fine. He's fine too, as fine as he can be when I’m the one growing him."

“Hey,” she scolded, not unkindly. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m not—” You stopped mid-sentence, rewinding. Trying again. “I’ve been hiding. A lot. I haven’t been out.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that. You don’t text back or answer my calls.”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed, rubbing at your face as the guilt settled on your shoulders. “I want to go outside. The store, something normal.”

Sarah brightened instantly. “That’s great!”

“But I… I don’t want to do it alone.”

Her voice softened. “Of course. I’ll come with you. When do you wanna go?”

You bite your lip. “Now. If you’re not too busy.”

There was a pause, and you knew the answer before she gave it.

“Shit,” she groaned, clearly torn. “I want to so bad, but Poguelandia is slammed. We’re short-staffed, JJ fucked his leg up, and there’s already a line out the door. I haven’t sat down since eight a.m. I’m so sorry. I literally haven’t even peed in four hours.”

You tried not to let the disappointment win. “Oh. No, it’s okay. I figured.”

“I can try,” She insists. “If I leave now, maybe I can swing it—if I skip lunch and—"

“No,” You cut in, “Seriously.”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ll get someone to cover—”

“Sarah.” You took a breath. “I love you, but please. Don’t stop working because of me. If you drop everything, I’m gonna feel worse.”

“You sure?”

You smiled, even though your eyes were burning again. “Not even a little bit. But I think that’s okay.”

“I hate saying no,” She muttered. “I hate that I can’t be there. But…”

You tensed up, pulling the sleeve of your hoodie over your hand.

“…I do know someone who can.”

You go quiet.

“Sarah…”

“Hear me out. He’s been texting me, asking if you need anything. He’s been trying to respect your space, but also losing his mind because he doesn’t know how to help. If you called and said you wanted to go walk into traffic, he’d probably volunteer to drive you.”

You let out a dry chuckle. “That’s comforting.”

“I mean it,” She insisted. “He’d show up in a heartbeat.”

You leaned your head against the wall. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like this,” you repeated, “My bump. It’s showing now.”

You could practically hear her blinking through the line.

“Wait. Since when?”

"Last week," You let out a breath. “I woke up and—bam.”

“Oh my God,” she gasped. And then again, breathier this time. “Oh my God.”

You could picture her hand flying to her mouth, the half-spin she probably did when she got excited. 

“I wish I was there,” she breathed. “I want to see you.”

You shut your eyes, fighting the sudden tears. “It’s not cute, Sar.”

“I didn’t say it was cute,” she scoffed. “I said I want to see you.”

You didn’t want to be seen like this, swollen and pale, hoodie hanging off your frame. And your stomach—this round, undeniable thing you couldn’t suck in or pretend away anymore.

“I thought I had more time. To ease into it.”

“That’s why you’ve been inside.”

It wasn’t a question.

You sank further against the wall, socked feet curling on the floor. “I’m falling out of my skin.”

“It’s okay that it freaks you out. You’re allowed to feel whatever you want.”

You finally exhaled. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.”

“One step at a time,” she said, warm even through the phone. “Starting with this one. Groceries. Hoodie on. Sunglasses if you want. One aisle.”

You closed your eyes, “If I call him… if he comes… he’s going to look.”

“If you wanted him to rip his eyes out, he would.”

You blinked.

“I’m not kidding,” Sarah added, “He’d walk with his head down the whole time, hands tied behind his back, take a vow of silence, whatever. If it made you feel even a little safer.”

Your throat closed up, a laugh tried to force its way out but died on arrival.

“I don’t want him to have to do that,” You said quietly. “I don’t want to feel like a freak show.”

"You are not a freak show," Sarah said, sounding insulted. “You’re pregnant. And scared. And beautiful, by the way, but I won’t push that one right now.”

Your hand drifted to your stomach without thinking.

“I don’t want to go with him.”

“I know.”

“But I want to go.”

“I know.”

You were quiet for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, unsure if agreeing to this made you brave or desperate.

Sarah seemed to feel the hesitation swell on your end of the line, so she added, “If I could send one of the Pogues, I would.”

 “Yeah?”

“Hell yeah,” She said. “But… they don’t know.”

“Oh. Right. I didn’t tell them.”

“It’s a lot. And they love you, but—yeah, it’s a lot.”

You rubbed your temple.

“It’s not like this is something you just drop in a group chat.”

You snorted. “Guess not.”

You swallowed, eyes moving to the mirror across the room—a sliver of your reflection visible, your shape under the hoodie. You didn’t want to shut people out. But every part of you had folded inward the second your body started changing, and you didn’t know how to stop it.

Sarah’s voice came back. “So… Rafe?”

You closed your eyes.

“Yeah. Fine. Tell him.”

Cameron Development. 3:17 PM.

Rafe was two seconds from throwing his fucking clipboard through the drywall.

"That doesn’t go there," He snapped at one of the newer guys on site, not looking up. His pen scraped across the paper harder than necessary, carving through the thin report sheet. "Jesus Christ, y’all can’t read labels now? It’s marked clearly, in red—RED, Sean.”

Sean stammered something behind him, but Rafe had already turned, muttering under his breath about incompetence, how he couldn’t keep babysitting everyone to get basic shit done.

His shirt clung to his back from the heat, his boots were caked in mud from the storm last night, and his patience was nonexistent. He hadn’t slept. He hadn’t eaten. 

He hadn’t seen you in days.

And it was killing him.

You were always good at acting fine over text, but Rafe knew the difference between your fine and “fine.” He couldn’t tell through a screen if you were tired or biting your nails again. 

“You okay, Rafe?” someone asked cautiously, probably Dan or Tyler—he didn’t care who anymore.

“No,” he bit back without missing a beat. “But thanks for asking.”

He hated this version of himself, that let everything build up until it spilled onto the wrong people. He disappeared back into the trailer and slammed the door behind him so hard the hinges rattled.

He leaned over the desk, head hanging between his shoulders, taking a deep breath that did absolutely nothing to help. His hands were gripping the back of his neck.

This was exactly what Dr. Sanders warned him about.

The outbursts, the impatience.

How his frustration got in the way of everyone who didn’t deserve it. No one should be punished for his shitty mood—especially not some fresh-hire kid just trying to do his job. He’d been doing so good, with weeks of keeping his voice level, reminding himself to step away when things got too loud inside his head. And now here he was again, snapping over labels and yelling at people who were trying to help.

His phone buzzed.

Sarah.

He stared at it for a second before answering. “What?”

“Chill with the attitude,” She snapped right back. “I’m calling for a reason.”

Rafe exhaled through his nose. “Sorry. Bad day.”

“No kidding,” she muttered. “You’ve been biting the head off everyone down there?”

Rafe didn’t deny it.

He sighed, annoyed, eyes on the ceiling. “What?”

“I need a favor.”

His stomach dropped so hard it made his head swim.

“Did something happen to her?”

“No,” She added quickly. “She’s fine. She...she’s not doing great.”

Rafe sank down into the chair. “What do you mean not doing great? What’s that mean? Be specific, Sarah, I swear—”

He bit the inside of his cheek. He’d tried. Called, texted. Waited when you didn’t answer. Backed off when Sarah told him to give you space.

“She’s okay?”

“She’s okay,” Sarah confirmed. “She wants to go out. Grocery store or something and she doesn’t wanna go alone.”

He sat forward. “She said that?”

“Yeah,” Sarah replied, “I can’t go—Poguelandia’s insane right now. There’s a line out the door. But I figured… maybe you could?”

He was already grabbing his keys. “Where is she?”

“She’s home,” Sarah confirmed, “Don’t pressure her, okay? She almost didn’t call. She’s been going through it. Be gentle.”

“I am gentle,” he snapped.

Sarah snorted. “Tell that to whoever you just yelled at.”

“They can’t do shit, Sarah.”

“Rafe.”

He sighed, dragging his palm down his stubble-covered jaw. 

“I’ll be cool,” he muttered.

“You better be.”

Rafe didn’t bother to hang up properly; instead, he shoved the phone in his pocket and dashed out of the trailer, boots crunching gravel as he headed for his truck. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going. Let Dan or Tyler or whoever pick up the slack for once.

You hadn’t answered his texts with more than one-word replies in four days. 

It’s insane to remember, back when things were good, you would leave voice notes in the mornings, call him out of the blue to complain about traffic, shitty coffee, or the weird commercial you saw.

Now, you didn’t want to go to the grocery store unless someone was with you.

You never asked for help, not when your car wouldn’t start, not when you had a fever, not even when you got a flat tire at midnight.

You were stubborn, hyper-independent. The fact that you asked for company meant that something was wrong.

None of this knowledge, however, prepared him to see you.

Oversized shirt hanging off one shoulder and the swell of your belly—your, his baby, right there, growing—so obvious now that you weren’t hiding it behind hoodies or blankets or clever angles.

Rafe stood there, blinking like a fucking idiot.

Holy shit.

That was his kid.

It didn’t feel real until this second. Not even when he felt it for the first time. Seeing your bump—round under that stretched cotton tee—sent him down a rabbit hole between awe and panic.

You squinted at him. 

“If you’re gonna stand there and stare the entire time, you can leave.”

That got him out of his stupor.

“No—sorry. I’m sorry.” His voice came out fast, defensive, hands already up. “I wasn’t—I mean. I didn’t mean to. I just… wow.”

He had to drag his gaze back up before it got disrespectful. You looked good. No—you looked insane. He wanted to compliment you, tell you how fucking unreal you looked right now, how bad he wanted to walk up behind you, press his hands to your stomach and kiss your neck. But that would get him a punch and a restraining order against him.

Your brow ticked up.

Rafe scratched the back of his neck, stepping inside when you didn’t slam the door in his face. 

“You look…” His lips parted, closed, parted again. “You look—pregnant. Not bad. Not bad pregnant. I mean, you look—you look good. You look like—like a mom.” He made a strangled noise. “I’m screwing this up.”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips twitched.

“I meant that in a nice way,” He mumbled, defeated by his brain.

“I’m sure you did,” You brushed past him toward the couch.

Rafe wasn’t staring in the stunned, silent, holy-shit way anymore. He was watching how you moved a little slower, hand resting under your bump as you loweredto grab your purse. Your breath faltered a little when you adjusted it on your shoulder, pressing the edge of your thumb into the small of your back without thinking.

He’d missed so much.

You looked at him expectantly. “Let’s go.”

“Oh—right.” He stepped back, forgetting how doors work. “Yeah. Grocery store. Got it. Let’s go.”

You arched a brow at him as you locked the door behind you.

“Seeing you like this.” He gestured vaguely at your stomach, still not looking directly at it like it might cast a spell on him again. “It’s—I don’t know.”

You opened the passenger door and shot him a tired look. “You gonna cry in the produce aisle?”

Rafe snorted, almost indignant. “What? No.”

In a matter of seconds, he was already by your side, hand out, ready to help you into the passenger seat.

“I got it,” You brushed him off with a roll of your eyes.

Rafe didn’t back down. “You shouldn’t have to.”

One of your dainty hands was already gripping the doorframe as you started to hoist yourself in.

“Watch me.”

He hovered anyway, hand out so he could catch you midair if you so much as wobbled.

“Stubborn,” He grumbled under his breath, not loud enough for a fight but loud enough for you to hear.

You settled into the seat with a small wince—barely noticeable unless someone was paying very, very close attention.

Rafe was paying attention.

Your eyes flicked to him. “See? Fine.”

“Mmhm,” He wasn't convinced, reaching in to buckle the seatbelt before you could swat him away. 

You narrowed your eyes in annoyance.

“You gonna bubble-wrap me next?”

“Don’t tempt me.” 

You shook your head, settling into the seat with a wince. 

“Wait—does it hurt?” He crouched, hand halfway extended toward your stomach, but hesitating. “Sitting? Standing?”

“Rafe,” you warned.

“What?” he asked, genuinely concerned. “I’m just asking.”

“Drive.”

He backed off, hands up again like you were pointing a loaded gun at him.

“Okay. But you gotta tell me if something’s wrong, alright?”

You sighed as he closed the door and jogged around to the driver’s side. Once you were on the road, Rafe glanced at you out of the corner of his eye every five seconds.

“You sleep at all?”

You shrugged.

Rafe tapped his thumb against the steering wheel. “Do you need anything around the house? How's the treatment?"

“Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

His face dropped.

This was why he didn’t push. You had a way of cutting through bullshit with a single sentence, and even now, with your delicate tone and your eyes on the horizon, it still hurt like a bitch.

He was jittery and wide-eyed the entire drive. This was more than a ride to the store, this was you not shutting him out. This was you, in his truck, after so long.

“I’m not trying to,” he said quickly. “I’m not. I swear.”

Rafe drove with one hand on the wheel and the other twitching in his lap, dying to reach for you but knowing better.  He put on your old playlist, passed the turn to the fancier store on the north end and drove straight to the quieter one near the marina, where you wouldn't have to deal with crowds.

Once he parked, he turned toward you fully.

“Do you want me to come in with you, or—?”

Your eyes flicked to him. Finally. 

He saw it. 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Please.”

That please just about ripped his spine out.

He would've gone even if you’d called him every name under the sun. Would’ve shown up if you told him to eat shit and die. He’d crawl through glass if it meant he got to be near you like this—You were here, and you’d asked him for something.

This alone felt like a second chance he didn’t deserve.

He opened the door without another word, rounded the truck, and reached your side before you could try to climb down on your own.

This time, you let him help. His hands were warm under your arms as you eased onto the pavement.

“Okay?” he murmured.

You nodded.

This was the type of shit he used to dream about in silence, lying awake at night with his face buried in your old pillow after crying more than he’d ever admit. Wondering if he’d ever be allowed back in ordinary parts of your life again. The boring stuff—the errands, the grocery runs. The seatbelt arguments. The way you pointed out the weird snacks he always bought.

"There's not a lot of people this time of day," Rafe said gently, clocking your silence. “But if it feels like too much—”

“I’m fine.” Your voice sounded flat.

Even if the store was mostly empty, there were people. And people had eyes and mouths.

As far as everyone knows, Rafe and you broke up months ago. You pulled your hood lower. That instinct to hide didn’t surprise him, but it crushed him all the same. 

He fell into step beside you, arm brushing yours sometimes on purpose. Inside, there were a couple of older folks milling around. A teenage boy stacking cereal boxes. A woman with a crying toddler.

You tugged your sleeves over your hands and went straight for the carts. Rafe snagged one before you could, wheeling it behind you without a word. You glanced at him, eyebrows adorably pinched.

“What?” He cocks an eyebrow. “Let me be useful.”

Eggs. Milk. The prenatal vitamins you forgot last time. He didn’t flinch when he saw the label on the bottle, and dropped it in the cart for you with a nod.

You moved slowly, partly because your legs ached and because you were stalling. You didn’t want to rush when no one had paid you any attention yet. 

Rafe walked behind the cart, guarding it, you. Shoulders squared, eyes always flicking around the aisles, ready to throw hands with anyone who so much as whispered something sideways. He caught how clutched your purse tighter, the sharp breaths you tried to hide.

At one point, a woman walked past, gave Rafe a long look, and then looked at you. She didn’t say anything, but you stopped. Went still.

Rafe was at your side in a second. “Hey.”

You swallowed. “She looked at me weird.”

He hated that you had to feel like this—hide so much.

“She looked at me weird.”

He kept close, shadowing your steps, the tension in his body never fully easing. Every time someone glanced at you, at the swell of your belly, he felt oddly overprotective. 

It was no longer just about being in love. It was turning into something primal; his heart, his very soul, had been hooked and tangled with you and the little life growing inside you. And fuck if he wasn’t going to guard you both with every ounce of strength he had.

He caught up when you paused again in the juice aisle.

“Need help?”

You reached for a bottle on the top shelf—cranberry, your favorite—but it was behind a stack of other ones. You stretched, finger grazing the edge, a grunt slipping from your lips as you rocked onto your toes.

Rafe moved fast.

So fast, it startled you when he was suddenly behind you, one hand sprawled on your lower back, the other bracing your hip. He reached over you with ease, snatching the bottle like it was nothing, but he didn’t pull away immediately.

Your breath hitched.

“Easy,” he murmured, right next to your ear.

You rolled your eyes, cheeks hot. “I had it.”

“Sure you did,” He muttered, passing you the bottle. His thumb brushed your spine. “Not lettin’ you bust your ass in a juice aisle, alright?”

“I wouldn’t have,” you retorted.

When you turned to face him, you were closer than you anticipated. His hand dropped, but he didn’t step away. His gaze dipped to your mouth.

Dangerous territory.

Rafe’s throat bobbed.  “You smell the same."

Your lips parted, surprise blooming behind your eyes.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

Rafe had been this close before. That night at the gala. When everything went sideways and his lungs felt like they were filling with cement. He hardly remembered how he got outside, but you were there—hands on him, voice killing through the noise in his head.

He remembered your touch. But he hadn’t been able to get a whiff of your scent, not with a clear head and a heart pounding for an entirely different reason.

Now he could.

Your breath was mingling with his, and God—the same scent that used to cling to his shirts when you stayed over, it haunted his pillow for weeks after you left.

Warm. Familiar. Completely fucking overwhelming.

He swore your eyes flicked to his lips for the briefest second.

Rafe couldn’t look away. Wouldn’t, even if he should’ve—for your sake. Your chest rose and fell in measured breaths, and he stupidly hoped you felt it too. That same unbearable pull between two people who had been here before. Who had known each other too intimately.

Your mouth was parted a little, glossy. He remembered what it tasted like, how your breath hitched when he kissed the corner first, the way your fingers always knotted in his shirt—

Fuck, he wanted to taste it again.

Just one kiss. One slip.

His hand twitched at his side, inches from your waist.

One step closer, and he could feel you. The curve of you now, fuller, warmer, carrying something that belonged to him—

“Excuse me, young man?”

Rafe’s soul nearly left his body. Both of you jerked apart, like you were sixteen again, getting caught making out in church.

An old woman in a lavender sweater and orthopedic shoes was peering up at him, one hand on her cart, the other gesturing at the same damn top shelf.

“Would you mind grabbing me one of those apple juices?” She asked sweetly, oblivious to the tension thick enough to butter toast with.

“Uh—yeah. Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat, grabbing one for her.

Second juice save of the day.

“Thank you, dear,” she said, tucking it into her cart with a nod.

Rafe managed a polite smile, still in a daze. “No problem.”

The woman rolled away, humming to herself.

He turned back to you, but you were already looking anywhere but at him, biting your lip in a way that was going to make him lose it.

Neither of you said a word. He wanted to—shit, he wanted it so bad, for you to meet his eyes again, to look at him like you felt it, too. 

Rafe stepped back and let his hands curl around the cart handle.

“You need anything else?”

You dropped the juice in the cart like nothing happened, face shuttered, voice absent as you said, “I still need rice.”

No softness. There was no trace of you, pressed against him just a second ago. You turned away, and he followed silently, shoulders tensed, feeling it slip.

That sliver of closeness now gone.

The wheels of the cart squeaked as they rolled over the linoleum, the only sound between you. Rafe kept behind you by a step, scared that getting too close might spook you. You only added things to the cart in silence. He observed how your fingers curled around the boxes and how your lips pressed together when you had to crouch or twist too far.

He meticulously catalogued everything. 

Useless instincts—stupid, protective, tender ones—that wouldn’t shut the fuck up inside him. He wanted to reach for your hand in the spice aisle as if it was still his to hold.

But you weren’t looking at him anymore. He despised that he had been hoping for it—that desperate, pathetic twitch in his chest every time your head moved even slightly in his direction. Just like a dog waiting to be called. Fuck.

“Think that’s everything?” he asked, ignoring how his palms were sweating.

You nodded. 

Alright. He’d wait.

At the checkout, he paid without hesitation. You didn’t argue.

Neither of you spoke as the cashier scanned your groceries, though Rafe handed you the bag with the eggs without asking—muscle memory. By the time the trunk was shut and you’d both slid into the car, the tension had mellowed down.

He started the engine, pulled onto the road.

A few minutes passed before he spoke.

“So… did you talk to Topper?”

He wasn’t looking at you directly.

His eyes were fixed out the windshield.

He knew. Topper had told him earlier in the week, he was his best friend, there was no universe where that conversation hadn’t already happened.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” he repeated, like he hadn’t heard you the first time.

“We talked,” You said simply.

A stoplight turned red ahead, and he eased the truck to a crawl. He should’ve left it alone. But his mouth was already moving.

“He told you about Sofia?”

Your turned toward him instantly, startled.

“What?”

He glanced over, admiring how beautiful you looked when you furrowed your brows.

“You know?"

Rafe nearly laughed. It wasn't funny—okay, it was a little—but the sheer absurdity of it, the disbelief in your voice took the cake. Did you still think she meant something to him?

Rafe ran a hand down his face as you studied him, all wide-eyed and wary.

"Why wouldn't I know?" 

Your brows creased further, "She's your ex."

"No," He clarified, "She's not."

He hated even saying it out loud, it sounded real fucking dumb now.

A half-assed attempt to feel something when he was trying not to think about you.

Rafe blew out a slow breath.

“You thought I’d care?”

You hesitated. “I don’t know. You get weird about shit sometimes.”

“I don’t care that they’re talking.” His thumb tapped the steering wheel. “I care that you thought I would.”

"Can you blame me?"

No, he couldn’t. Of course you were going to assume the worst after the shit he pulled.

“Right,” Rafe bit down on the inside of his cheek.

The light turned green, but he waited before easing on the gas. You kept your face turned to the window, it was probably easier to talk to your reflection in the glass than to him.

You used to talk to him, say things. It was a sacred language, just for him. He tapped his fingers on the wheel, not to a beat, just to do something.

You moved beside him, adjusting your seatbelt so it didn’t dig into your stomach. He clocked that instantly.

“Seatbelt too tight?”

A small shrug. “It’s fine.”

Bullshit.

You shouldn’t be sitting like that. You should be lying down, with pillows under your knees, and someone taking care of you.

“I could buy one of those, uh, extender things,” he offered, “For next time.”

“I’m not asking for anything."

He kept his hands at ten and two, eyes fixed on the road. Every other second, he’d steal a peek, catch the side of your face in the window’s reflection, how your arms were folded across your chest even though the A/C wasn’t blowing.

“You cold?”

“I’m fine.”

It wasn’t true.

Rafe knew you were uncomfortable; you kept fussing in your seat, three times already.

“They got the good ice at that place. The chewy kind. You want me to swing back around, steal a cup?”

You gave him the smallest, driest laugh. “Gonna rob a Sonic now?”

God, he missed hearing your laugh, even like that.

“If you wanted it bad enough.” He exhaled through his nose, jaw tightening. “We can talk, you know."

You clicked your tongue in annoyance.

“We’ve already talked about it.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t keep talking.”

You scowled at this nerve.

“And say what, Rafe? What could you possibly say that hasn’t been said?”

“I—fuck, I don’t know. I’m trying.”

A sound of disbelief escaped you.

“You weren’t trying when you left.”

He recoiled like you slapped him. “That’s not fair.”

“You’re right. You know what is fair?” You said, bitterly. “You walking around like this thing isn’t growing inside me. Like I don’t have to carry it and feel it and decide—”

You stopped yourself, biting your tongue hard. Closed your eyes.

Rafe’s voice dropped. “I didn’t walk away from that.”

You stopped yourself. Bit your tongue hard. Closed your eyes.

“I didn’t walk away from that. I’ve been showing up. Every day. I know that doesn’t erase how I left, but I’m trying. I want to be here. However you’ll let me.”

He heard you inhale—tight, restrained. Then you turned to him, eyes red-rimmed. You were still pissed, guarded. But you were looking at him.

And fuck, finally.

That stupid part of him—the one that wagged its tail every time you threw him a bone—lit up. He could live on scraps if it meant you’d look at him like that again.

Rafe meant it with every fiber of his body.

If you asked him to drive across the country for a specific brand of prenatal vitamins, he’d do it. If you wanted him to sit outside your door and not come in, just so you’d know someone was there, he’d do that too.

“I’m here. Even if it’s just to grab apple juice off the top shelf or to punch Topper in the face if he says the wrong thing.”

You huffed a laugh, rolling your eyes.

“There she is,” he teased, squeezing your leg gently. “Was starting to think I’d hallucinated that smile.”

“Don’t push it.”

He smirked, couldn’t help it , even if you were half-ready to rip his head off, it was better than that cold silence. He didn’t miss the way your eyes softened, that split-second slip where you didn’t hate him.

Or you still did, but not fully.

Rafe’s hand lingered on your leg before he cleared his throat and pulled it back, gripping the steering wheel again like his life depended on it.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’m not really good at doing what I’m supposed to.”

You gave him a look, that familiar, flat stare. He knew you'd rather bite glass than admit he was charming sometimes.

“And what are you supposed to do, huh?”

Rafe glanced at you from the corner of his eye, not trying to hide the smirk tugging at his mouth.

“Thought that was obvious,” he said, casual, “Love you."

You scoffed, disbelieving—he was the one being ridiculous.

“Oh, go eat shit.”

He fucking loved you.

The laugh burst out of him before he could stop it, all teeth, not mocking, only helpless. You turned your face to the view again, but he saw the corner of your mouth twitching like it wanted to smile.

“You’re so—” you started, cutting yourself off with a frustrated noise.

You looked so fucking beautiful. That expression on your face, that shit wrecked him.

"Charming?"

You were flushed from the heat, cheeks warm, hair frizzy from the humidity, and still, all he could think was how unfair it was for you to look like that and not be his anymore. 

“I was gonna say insufferable.”

“That too,” Rafe said, grinning. “Multifaceted.”

“Wow. You’re actually proud of that.”

“Course I am. You used to like that about me.”

"No, I tolerated it. Big difference.”

His tongue clicked against his teeth, turning onto the long road that led toward your neighborhood.

“Coulda fooled me. Especially that night after Barry’s party.”

He was feeling bold, sue him.

“That was a lapse in judgment.”

He bit back a smile, but it was in his voice when he said, “Pretty long lapse. Five-hour lapse.”

“Oh my fucking God."

He glanced over at you, head tilted. “You’re smiling.”

“I’m grimacing,” you corrected, poorly. “Because this is painful.”

You stayed still, only the sound of the tires on the road and the distant hum of the A/C between you.

But it wasn’t that bad anymore. He snuck a glance at your profile, the curve of your cheek, how you leaned into the door, but didn’t flinch away from him like earlier.

He wanted to tell you again—that he loved you, that he still loved you, that he wasn’t going anywhere—but he knew better than to say it twice in a row.

The phone buzzed on the dashboard, Rafe saw Sarah’s name lighting up the screen.

He held it out toward you. “Here. You wanna talk to her?”

You took the phone, and as you pressed it to your ear.

“Hey, Sar."

He missed the nicknames you used for him—the ones that made his chest warm. Those little names that made him feel like he was the only person who got to hear them.

“Hey! So you two haven’t killed each other yet. That’s nice!”

"Shut up."

"I can stop by later! JJ's doing better. You want to?”

You didn’t hesitate. “Yes, please. I could use that.”

“Alright, I’ll be there.” Sarah signed off with a promise, and the call ended, "Call me if you need anything. Love you."

"Mmkay, love you too."

The way you said it—automatic—made something burn to ashes inside him. He wanted to be the one you said that to the most. He wanted to hear it from your lips; it meant the world.

He used to be the one you said that to without thinking.

"Here—"

He noticed you stop mid-sentence, inhaling, then you turned slowly to him. Then the screen on his phone lit up, showing the lockscreen—unchanged since last year. That picture of your 18th birthday, the two of you caught mid-laugh, arms thrown over each other.

Rafe squeezed the wheel gently, thinking to himself how lucky he was—even if you didn’t say it aloud—to be the one you looked at that way once.

"It's a nice picture," He offered.

"Yeah."

"You ever miss it?”

Your shoulders pushed back, your body catching the question before your brain did. Your mouth tensed and he braced himself for the worst.

"Missing something doesn’t mean it still fits.”

You handed the phone back, not bothering to wait for a response or caring if there was one.

Doesn't mean it still fits—he deserved that.

But it wasn't going to stop him from wanting to try it anyway, even if it tore straight through him.

[iscdisc]

Whiteboard doodles for today !

Tang Shen supremacy 5ever- 🫶

I desperately want a 2012 timeline to exist where Shredder gets redeemed (At least, as much as he can realistically speaking-) and Tang Shen never passes away- But I know it's kind of impossible for both those things to exist at the same time,, �� Lmao

But imagine if Yoshi (Splinter) acknowledged Saki's (Shredder's) deteriorating mental health (Which is canon. Have you seen this man in Season 4? LMAO) and tries to reach out more. Despite knowing how much his brother wants his dead. Despite knowing he's the reason his wife is gone and his daughter didn't know he existed for years / painted him as her Mother's murderer.

Because if you really dissect Saki as a character, he's kind of an understandable / "relatable" antagonist-?? His biological Father (Honestly whole family I'm sure-) was murdered by his new adoptive Father (Yoshi's), his entire clan was taken out and he was swiftly indoctrinated into the Hamato Clan as an infant, I'm sure he practically got the Naruto treatment from the Hamato Clan (Always being judged for descending from the Foot Clan, like he asked for that or something-), Yoshi presumably was treated significantly better than him + was most definitely the favorite child between the two of them when it came to their Father-

This is getting a little theoretical here, since we don't exactly know the timeline between Tang Shen and Yoshi & Saki, but my personal opinion is that:

Saki met Tang Shen first- He had a very surreal connection with her and finally felt understood by somebody / wasn't treated differently because of his bloodline connections, right. Probably because he still has a lot of growth to do as a person, they had a falling out and the relationship ended (Tang Shen absolutely being the one to call it off-). Then after some time she ends up being in a romantic relationship with Yoshi and stays with him. To me, this is the most logical course of events considering what we see in the S3 episode, "Tale of the Yokai"-

But the reason I explained all this is because I feel like this is yet another thing that Saki feels the Hamato Clan has stolen from him. He has nothing, everything that he did have was taken from him, and he's treated as some sort of vile creature that needs to be "shown the proper path". I also want to throw out the possibility that their Father (Yoshi's Father-) being an unreliable narrator, since we don't get a lot of context behind the Foot Clan and whether or not they were actually bad people- I know historically speaking, the Foot Clan has always been the villains in this franchise, but for 2012 specifically we never truly got any proof of that (in my opinion) prior to Shredder's reign as head of the Foot- You know what I mean? (Though I know this is yet another thing that can be chalked up to poor writing / world building-)

During the same episode, "Tale of the Yokai", we witness Saki openly call out Yoshi for not caring about Tang Shen enough and for not caring about him. This is something I'd also love to get into at some point, since I think this would've been a really deep and complicated Character Arc for Splinter to have potentially gone through ! Because in my personal opinion, I don't think Splinter doesn't care about the people that he claims to care about + love immensely, I just think he doesn't show it in the way that he believes he is showing it- He doesn't always understand how his actions are being perceived by those people, you know what I mean?? That's exactly why I say Shredder should have had a Redemption Arc and Splinter should have been a huge part of that, because at the end of the day you can understand why Saki is so upset as a person-?? All he wanted was somebody to genuinely love him for who he was and not try to change him or blame him for something he wasn't even alive for at the time. I think Splinter really needed to prove to him that he does love him. I also think Splinter should go through similar efforts with his sons first before making an attempt with Saki- Since I know a lot of people have issues with his parenting / feel he didn't love any of his sons except Leo (Which I half agree, half disagree- Also talking about Splinter's lack of self-awareness or situational awareness sometimes, I feel like that's why he never really addressed the favoritism with Leo.,, Because he was his Father's favorite child, so why would he have that kind of self-reflection when he didn't notice it between himself and his brother- You know? 😭).

The point is, I think Saki is just a deeply hurt / scarred man and because he was constantly left his own devices and quite frankly self-isolated, he just got worse and worse,, You can honestly see that deterioration throughout the series with how delusional he becomes towards the end- I promise I'll stop yapping after this, but can we talk about the moment that Shredder had during the S4 episode, "The Super Shredder" when he was describing constantly seeing Splinter in his nightmares and him having this condescending face all the time-?? 😭

[canmom]

GQuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuux (it's prounced ジクアクス Jikuax)

due to shenanigans, I had the kind of odd experience of being completely alone in the theatre for Gundam GQuuuuuux (the 'movie', which is pretty much just a concatenation of the first four episodes of the show). I think the theatre is probably all automated and if I hadn't shown up, they'd have been screening it to an empty room. we're pretty near the end of the UK theatrical run before it goes to streaming, but it was kind of a surreal experience. anyway!

love letter to gundam '79 it certainly is - but thankfully not terribly inaccessible for it. it opens with a pretty extended version of its alt timeline in which Char steals the Gundam and uses it to win the war for Zeon, only to accidentally cause some kind of psychic reaction that lets him "see time" and maybe sends him into the future.

the real gundamheads will have already seen this and they'll have been able to be like 'oh it's that minor character from episode 39'; for me it was sufficient to be able to recognise that they were riffing on the first episodes of '79 at the start, and know who the hell Char is and why it's a big deal when he kills everyone on a certain spaceship. as cool as it was to see the robot battles done up with all the Studio Khara swag you'd hope, this part was definitely the most indulgent, and I'm glad the timeskip moved past it.

so in the present! we're on one of those big O'Neill cylinder space colonies that gundam likes to have, its politics loosely sketched: nominally independent, controlled by callous Military Police who will happily tear roofs off refugee houses; there's a secret underground of mobile suit battling but mostly peaceful enough that characters can have concerns like 'going to cram school'. Zeon are around and the top dogs of the solar system, but when a Zeon spaceship goes into the airspace it's a diplomatic incident.

after a botch job of a capture mission, Zeon's experimental Gundam GQuuuuuux and the time-travelling Red Gundam (which probably has Char's soul in it or something) end up in the hands of, respectively, a very energetic schoolgirl and an airy homeless femboy. and like, it's Khara so we have to make the inevitable comparison, the logic of the Gundams here has a strong flavour of Eva, both in the silhouettes they are given, and also in the special psychic system which lets newtypes fly the gundam with their miiiiind if they're attuned enough - there's also a heavy emphasis on the difference of scale between robots and humans (even a 'run along the arm' shot at one point).

narratively it bounds from setpiece to setpiece with all the energy you'd hope to see from the Gainax diaspora. its use of pop music definitely calls to mind the other side of the split over at Trigger, especially works like KLK - I can tell this is gonna be one whose soundtrack I'll listent to later.

remains to be seen how far they'll take the yuri vibes between Machu and Nyaan, especially since they gave her a blush reaction to meeting Shuji, but they had two "jump into each other and fall on the floor moments" between the girls already, so...

anyway, for all that it's by-way-of-Khara, there's still plenty of Gundam flavour to this. particularly striking is the setting: the action arranges us to go in and out of the surface of the O'Neill cylinder and there are some absolutely gorgeous shots of the cityscape curving up and around. plenty of dorky uniforms and space politics too. there's especially some real love put into the ways the robots move - it's got that 2D sensibility of hitting dramatic poses while things blow up, but also the way the Bits (tiny drones) fly around with little RCS thrusters getting them lined up is gorgeous. the space battles are colourful, energetic and mobile in all the ways you'd hope - as we've seen in the Eva rebuilds, Khara are really good at making their cel-shaded 3DCG feel good alongside 2D animation, and maintain the crucial sense of scale and weight.

I don't know how heavy they're gonna take it, emotionally. watching this was a blast, but so far more the Diebuster end of the Gainax/Khara spectrum than the Eva one, so I'm not sure how much substance we're gonna have. it's a huge amount of fun in that ridiculous Gundam way, though, giant robot spectacle from the best in the biz, so I'm extremely eager for the rest to arrive‚ especially if it stays looking this cool for the whole cour.

[aweirdlisa]

My Big Boi Genloss Theory

Hello! Those who follow me on twitter know I've released a rather long theory document, over 12 pages long I believe, doing a pretty deep dive into all the genloss lore and how I believe most of it connects and plays out!

Those who wish to read the full doc are more than welcome to do so here, though I'll be making a revised and summarized (as much as i can) version for the tumblr folks right here!

So take my hand and follow me below!

Welcome to the Multiverse

We've all seen a certain red orb by now which first appeared on the generation loss website in the game centered around the Hero, a while before the Social Experiments were released.

As the Hero interacts with the orb behind the dumpster, we see visual glitches and suddenly find ourselves in a red tinted, damaged version of the world we were just in.

Well, next time we see this orb is around November 24th when the 2nd chapter of The Founder's Game (TFG) is released. Those who paid attention will have noticed it was hidden in the site's source code back when we encounter it.

The person we're controlling touches the orb and much like before, they wake up in a red tinted world, similar to the one they were in before touching the orb.

Now this red tint I keep bringing up may not have actually been there for the people in question, but it's a good way of conveying to us, the audience, that a change has occurred.

So how different-yet-the-same are these worlds? Well in TFG we're walking in a set of hallways with metal doors pre-orb, but a specific mention of posters of school clubs and teams let's us draw a similarity between this and the post-orb world. Even more specifically, the posters are "more worn than you remember", which makes the connection even less doubtful.

As Ben wakes up in LF High and wanders the hallways, we note that the environment is familiar to him, with the same type of school posters lining the walls alongside lockers.

So what does the orb have to do with the multiverse then?

Ben dies a lot in TFG, each time he wakes up again, the school is a little bit different. The changes become more surreal the more Ben comes to die. Lockers change colours, but then hallways physically twist and gravity acts strangely.

It's easy to brush things off as "part of the game", with Ben dying and resetting just being a mechanic. But we are clever enough to realise that whatever Showfall presents us is actually happening to someone, somewhere.

Another hint awaits us in the science lab in TFG, where we find a book titled "String Theory and Parallel Universes"

In an earlier theory I posted here on tumblr I already brought up a possible multiverse theory when we were repeatedly confronted with the "tunnels" in the genloss videos, but I will get back to this later.

If all these schools are supposed to be parallel universes, why do they differ SO much by the time Ben died a couple times? It could be happenstance that the changes get worse over time instead of random levels of chaotic. However the fact that the strange shifts happen so chronologically tells me that it's something else.

Now what could we possibly call a phenomenon where something gets progressively worse each time it undergoes a certain process?

It's Generation Loss Babyyyyy

The Generation Loss we often thought was solely connected to the VHS tapes has a much greater scope!

However it occurs, it definitely has something to do with the orb's influence or power, causing whoever touches it to relive a part of their world over and over (maybe within a pocket dimension?), until the generation loss sets in each time they die.

To tie it back to the Founder and TSE, it's interesting to look at the orb's possible influence in the earlier timeline as well.

At first I thought the rewinding of the Founder's Cut tapes was causing the Hero to relive their nightmare over and over, but now it seems like the tapes and VCR controls may just be that - controls to let the Founder use the orb and make people relive things until everything is to their wishes.

With how limited Ben's world felt, it's possible there are certain parameters set up by either the orb's limitations or the Founder, to create a controlled environment.

To me it feels like the generation loss is a symptom of the orb, either deliberately used by the Founder, or a side effect they can't quite control.

The Orb

Yes that red thing again. I believe it may be the centerpiece of our story, with the genloss symbol itself - however iconic and ever present - being more of an assist.

The orb is very dangerous, especially if it's a tool the Founder is using to create their "perfect stories". The effect of the orb affects many, and I believe it's possible it may have affected the very Founder themselves too, though I'm keeping that open for another time.

What we do know of the orb so far is that by touching it, you undergo its influence and "enter its world", however it's also possible to find the orb yet again within this world, which to me indicates touching the orb may provide an exit to whoever is under its effects. This may be the only way out for Ben, unfortunately I doubt his physical changes will revert.

Back in TFG, we're shown many mutations of Ben over time as he looks into the mirror.

Now there's plenty of people who have drawn the parallels already between Ben's unravelling and the robotic creature we saw back in chapter 2 in the holding cell.

As the multiverse and parallel universe theories go, there's a lot of different, but also similarities present between them. One such consistent theme is that of Ben's association with robots.

Each time he awakens in the class room, the class's subject changes, but his sketchbook doodles do not: There's always one of a robot.

Other details that follow this theme is when Ben is strangled with electrical wires by the creature roaming the halls and gets a computer screen thrown at him.

It's entirely possible Ben is undergoing something that the wire-creature from the holding cell has gone through before. It wouldn't surprise me if this was one of the many ways the Founder uses the orb.

The Founder and Showfall Media

We know very little of the Founder and Showfall, but by going through tweets, videos and any piece of context we get, we can try to figure some things out.

One thing that stood out to me for a long time was the special keynote we got in  “Announcement” over on youtube. A representative of Showfall tells us that they have been providing entertainment for families around this world and that they now have connected with a new frontier to which they want to bring their influence with a new live experience which ends up being the Social Experiments.

The wording is so specific and was some of the first near-solid proof to me that there’s something multiversal going on.

Even when referring to the Founder’s cut in the video "Again", there is the specific mention that it is the “first, a test of what is possible with infinity”, which at first sounded like a tape-rewinding situation, but now with the orb involved may mean literal universal infinity. A sort of disclaimer at the start of "Coming_Soon" also mentions that what wer're about to see actually happend, just not here.

At some point Showfall connected to a new frontier (our world) to show us TSE and “bring their influence” to us. Which might mean that Showfall (and the Founder) have plans to change or influence our world with their “entertainment” too.

In any case, we learn a bit more about this and the Founder’s behavior towards the matter of these stories and frontiers when we receive a letter from the Founder’s desk. It is encoded in what we’ve come to call the Founder’s Cipher, and was addressed to a certain “you”.

Within the text, looking back on it with the multiversal theory in mind, many sentences stand out like:

“There were many like you, but I knew you were special.”

“There is more beyond what I watch.”

“I can create anything.”

“I will create something perfect.”

It’s possible the Founder will use the orb and many more innocent victims to manipulate worlds and people to turn them into a perfect story. The precise motive as to why this is all happening is unclear, but we've been given some vague hints through a certain character Ben meets along his way.

It’s a bit too vague right now to be entirely certain, but when Ben encounters the Fortune Teller and presses its button, we are treated to some deliciously vague allusions of an internal struggle:

“You know this will kill you, you’re chasing someone else’s dream. You are losing everything in the process. What is it all for? The hope of salvation? The hope to do what you believe you are meant to be doing? What is it that you even want anymore? Is this even for you? Who is this even for? Answer me, please.”

We’re told that this audio occurs as the Fortune Teller’s mouth opens after Ben presses the button, so it’s easy to assume this is directed at Ben, which it might as well be, though if we were to assume it’s directed at someone else, like the Founder, the meaning of the text becomes very interesting.

What if the Founder is chasing someone else’s dream? Perhaps someone they looked up to? Someone they lost? This could be grounds for a motive on why they’re desperately forming perfect stories, testing what is possible with infinity, maybe to regain something or someone? Maybe out of revenge? Out of love? Out of spite?

Whatever it is, it has gone wrong and has cost them everything, to the point they may not even know themselves what it’s all for. Perhaps the Founder, through their research and endless experiments, has lost themselves to generation loss too, losing their humanity and everything else along with it. Maybe even more?

Sadly we can only speculate on who it addresses and what it precisely means, but the Fortune Teller has definitely peaked my interest.

Infinitely so (hah) when Ben encounters the machine again in a circus in chapter 6. Here, when we choose not to press the button, the Fortune Teller shows possible awareness of the fourth wall, of us being in control, as he says he’s glad we “explored our options”, but then ends up speaking without the button even being pressed. He even directly responds to the text we see on our screen where we claim to “not have time for this”, as he responds with “I think you do”.

The second time we hear the Fortune Teller speak, however, it’s specified that it is in a different voice:

“He is the end and the beginning, do you ever wonder why everything is happening like this? Or why this damn thing keeps appearing every single time? Or why everyone, everyone but me, seems to just ignore this? It’s not just that, it was never just that. You don’t get it, this isn’t for me. Or for you. It is for everyone here. This is important. What I do.. is finally important.”

The Fortune Teller then tells us it’s almost like “we were meant to see this” in his regular voice.

Now this second text reads as a recording of part of a conversation between two or more people. Someone is telling someone else that “he” is the beginning. So who is talking to who? And who is “he”?

If we are to assume the “he” is the Founder, then it sounds like this is a conversation between two coworkers who maybe work for the Founder, talking about possibly the orb appearing in places, and how it’s “for everyone”.

Though if we assume the person speaking is the Founder, then it may just be that the Founder was looking up to someone who started the work, and ended up finishing it for some reason, feeling like their work is important and impacts many. Though the first assumption feels more obvious.

It’s also fun to note that “beginning” was the password to the Founder’s Game website the first time we found it through the VHS tapes of the Founder’s Cut. However no fitting password has yet been found to the computer.

The Generation and Screens

Probably one of my favourite chapters in my big boy theory.

To look at the bigger picture of it all, what once may have been a simple timeline of literal generations, could now turn into a mess of universes and time periods that all come together to show us the true extent of the Founder’s influence.

I’ve mentioned this before, but another great visual marker of the bridging between “generations” is the text in the corner of several genloss videos, showing us when we’re dealing with generation 0 or generation 1. Much like a camcorder has the date in the corner of the screen, we see the generation something was recorded in. This goes hand in hand with the "tunnels" I've mentioned before.

Whenever we seem to move to Generation 1 we go forward through the tunnel, yet backwards when dealing with Generation 0.

At first I thought this meant time travel or a multiversal scenario, now I'm definitely more inclined to choose the latter. The tunnels appear to work as divides between the worlds, possibly using the orb to cross them.

Once again red is a prevalent colour, much like the red orb, the red tinted worlds, the generation loss symbol and the red square associated with the Founder.

Where do we stand in all this? Well mostly every form of visuals we’ve seen from Showfall or the Founder has been through a screen, be it the VHS tapes people bought, the Social Experiments through twitch, or the games through a literal monitor on the website which doubles up with out own phones/computers/devices we access the site through. It’s always screens (which honestly also really lends itself well for the “careful what media you consume” or “all media is influenced somehow” allegories throughout genloss).

(This post continues in part 2)

[the-stray-liger]

HEY did u know that 00 and witch from Mercury are the only gundam series I've watched!!

So what others should I take a look at

OOOH I'd say definitely check out Gundam Wing next. This is the series that introduced Gundam to the west back in the early 2000s, it was my first contact with Gundam before I became a real fan. It's just A Lot. I like to describe it as a mexican telenovela with explosions and it's over all just one of the BEST times you can have with Gundam!

People will tell you to watch IBO. I am not your dad I can't tell you what to do but I have nothing good to say about it. You can skip SEED unless you have my uncanny ability to turn my brain entirely off while watching, then give it a try. I know it's objectively Bad(TM) but I like it better than IBO

If you wanna dip your toes into the Universal Century timeline but don't wanna make the long term commitment of watching 0079, Zeta, ZZ, Char's Counterattack, Unicorn and Hathaway's Flash, The 08th MS Team boasts some of the best animation of its era and is extremely charming, and in case you want to have your heart destroyed, War in the Pocket will make you regret having been born. Stardust Memory is also a good time, it has both my most disliked main character and one of my favorite villains ever, but the writing is not quite there tbh

If you're looking for a really fun lighthearted time, the Build series are fun! Build Fighters is adorable and has its share of drama but it's mainly geared towards a younger audience so it's very easy to follow. I enjoyed Build Fighters a lot, and I think it's more fun to watch it after having experienced other Gundam series bc the Build series is known for having a lot of fun cameos from other series!

Honorable mention goes to Turn A Gundam. It's technically UC if you squint, but it's an entirely different universe with a completely different vibe. It will make you cry, the drama is heart wrenching, but it's also very surreal and keeps you on your toes constantly. My favorite industrial designer Syd Mead (known for work in Blade Runner. that guy) designed the mechs for this show, and that's why it has this really different neat look to it. 20/10 Gundam

I'm so sorry I always talk too much when it comes to Gundam 😅 you activated my trap card! Have fun with Gundam and feel free to come into my askbox to yell when you find one you love 💕

[heatwa-ves]

what actually happens in the zelda games?? i had a friend who loved breath of the wild but i have no clue what the actual plot is lol

In very vague terms the series revolves around the triforce which is this holy power created by the goddesses and it looks like three triangles making up a bigger triangle and each represents courage wisdom and power and there's these three guys link zelda and ganon who have one of those triforce attributes respectively and there's like 30 games or something and most involve link as the hero zelda who helps you out sometimes she's kidnapped and you have to save her sometimes she's a pirate sometimes she's just chilling sometimes she's even a lesbian and once in the most recent game she's the main playable character... And then ganon is the villain. Most of the time but sometimes he's not. Anyway the first game in the timeline has the first ever zelda and link and at the end of the game link defeats this primordial evil who puts a curse on all their bloodlines that the three of them are forever tied together and there will always be a link a zelda and a ganon/various other evil guy in every timeline etc.

anyway the actual plot of each game varies a lot we've got link washes up on an island that becomes more and more surreal as you learn more about it we have link travels to a parallel world and gets cursed a bunch and uses the masks of dead people to transform into them and stop the moon from crashing into the world and destroying everything in a timeloop we have link turns into a wolf and has a lesbian sidekick who's actually a princess from another realm and definitely has a thing going on with princess zelda we have the whole world floods and link sails around on a boat that is actually the dead king of hyrule ummmm. Many such cases. Link has a train at one point he's an engineer that works on a train and he drives the train around and zelda is a ghost I think

breath of the wild is pretty different to the other games in terms of game structure and while I do like it it's not one of my fav Zelda games.. anyway it's set 100 years post apocalypse and link wakes up to find he was put to sleep 100 years ago to stop him from dying and so he has to save the world basically. He had a fish girl best friend but she died so sad. Tears of the kingdom is the sequel and it's kinda the same but it has sky islands and the zonai who I don't really like and Zelda gets transported a million years into the past and turns herself into a dragon. Anyway!

[queenofbaws]

You know I have to ask about 'Reading & Other Fun Rituals: What To Do When Your Book Club is [REDACTED]' (still inching my way through this fic cause I love it so much, I don't want it to end 🥲)

How about 4, 9 and 11?

;Dc oh my gosh!!!!! hehehe i'm SO glad you're enjoying reading & other fun rituals, GOSH that was a fun one to write!!! lkdjflksjdf

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

klsdjfjlksjdkfjsdkfj I'M SO PREDICTABLE, BUT IT'S LITERALLY any OF THE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE HR DEPARTMENT!!! especially this one with jesse and arish:

“Do we have an HR department somewhere?” “Haunted Relics? Oh yeah, that’s down in – ” “I – no. No. Human Resources. You know…hiring? Firing? Payroll? Sick days?” She spread her arms plaintively. “HR?” His brow furrowed. Like, considerably. Even before he opened his mouth, Jesse knew what his answer was going to be. She didn’t interrupt him, though; nope, watching him struggle to remember who (if anyone) signed his paychecks (if he’d ever actually gotten one) was just a little too much fun. His gaze went distant. He touched his tongue to the tip of an eyetooth. “…we should…probably have one of those.”

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

man oh man, i know this is THE definition of a boring answer, but no!!! and honestly, that's new for me - usually when an idea takes over, my brain immediately cooks up roughly 30 alternate timelines i could be going down, but with THIS story in particular, part of the beauty of it is...as soon as the idea hit, i knew exactly what i wanted it to be!!!

as a sort of aside, though...since supermassive is still making games for the dark pictures anthology, i did also know i wanted to sort of leave it with wiggle room for a follow-up/sequel if need be, so while that isn't really an alternate version per se, please rest assured i am eagerly awaiting the day there's another slew of altered books jesse has to go wrangle ;)c

11: What do you like best about this fic?

🥹 what don't i like best about this fic...

in all honesty, i think what i enjoyed most about r&ofr is how much fun i had writing it. i have a tendency to take writing a little too seriously sometimes, so dipping into the absurd surrealism of control was just...such an amazing reminder that if i'm not giggling and wiggling my fingers nefariously every step of the way, maybe i'm doing something wrong!

literally i was so, so, SO excited each time i finished a chapter, i was SO proud of myself for all the dumb little twists and turns, and there are people irl who will tell you...the day i dropped that ENTIRE FIC at once??? it was like a celebration over here. i was TOO EXCITED, i couldn't trust myself to stretch the posting out, i just needed it out there THAT! DAY!!!!! hehehe

i'm really, really, reeeeeeally hoping maybe i'll write some other wacky control stuff in the future, because boy oh boy...this one has such a special place in my heart!

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

ok so, after reading your analyses and claiming you as the shinichiro/takeomi dynamic expert in my mind, I want to share a though that is living rent free in my brain for quite a while.

Shiniricho finally gets a girlfriend and they are super in love with each other, but since his friends haven’t had the opportunity of meeting her yet they tease him and make jokes about her not being real. One day Takeomi is waiting for shin in his bike shop when a beautiful girl shows up, he is smitten the second he sees her and in their brief interaction he is already convinced that she is his dream girl. Until shinichiro shows up and she run right into his arms, leaving takeomi there to process that he just fell for his best friend girlfriend.

First of all, thanks for the ask! You gave me such a huge compliment 🙈 Second, I was never asked something of this kind before, so I hope what I wrote will please you and I apologize if I did it wrong since it's my first time doing that (also hence why I took some time to answer)

Takeomi falling for Shinichiro's Girlfriend

That sure is a way to torture the both of them lol But that's something I love doing so that's okay

Takeomi is a very envious man. He desires lots of things. He wants and he takes even when the things he wants are someone else's. Most than often what he wants are what others’ have anyway, ‘the grass is greener on the other side of the fence’.

Takeomi's enviousness is at its peak when he's near Shinichiro; Takeomi admires Shinichiro more than anyone else: Takeomi loves Shinichiro too much to steal anything he holds dear. He's envious of Shinichiro but there's no resentment towards Shinichiro directly. Shinichiro gave him Black Dragon which gave him the God of War – and that’s everything precious Takeomi deems to have. He yearns for more but he won’t let go of BD or his persona for anything in the world. Shinichiro is his golden goose, can't risk nor afford to lose him.

Still, he envies him. Takeomi has followed Shinichiro all his life, ran after him but he never succeeds to attain him. Shinichiro is too surreal, everyone loves him and Takeomi wants that. He was never seen him as something more than "ordinary" as a child and The God of War was a poor try to get that attention from others and this confirmation he was different, better.

Takeomi yearns for what Shinichiro has (charisma & charm mostly) so much him falling for Shinichiro's girlfriend will no help one bit

Takeomi never attempts to steal what is Shinichiro's, he asks instead. He knows Shinichiro, they're childhood friends. Shinichiro is kind and giving and accept to share. But that's not a thing here, that's a human being they both have feelings for.

Falling for Shinichiro's significant other will tear him apart, honestly. Not that he'll admit it to anyone, himself included. He'll end up bottling it up until it explodes like always

He won't stop himself from interacting with her though. Denial or self-destructive behavior, you decide. It's probably both anyway

Shinichiro is very excited that they got to meet

Because! Shinichiro's girl finally met one of his best friends! His childhood friend! He wants them to get along so he'll make them get to know each other

If we take Takeomi's chapter as referent, Shinichiro can be rather blind to his distress (e.g Black Dragon's disbandment announcement). But we have to take into account that Takeomi is neither the definition nor a synonym of 'reliable narrator' and that there's the possibility the first generation of Black Dragon came to an end because Mama Sano died earlier this same year and so Shinichiro wasn't in the best place – that aside, there's also how he clumsy reacted to Sanzu's scars and how relaxed he was while telling Sanzu everything about the Original Timeline but he gets the excuse of.. having lived the Original Timeline. The last clue of Shinichiro's obliviousness is then how he dealt with Izana learning he wasn't blood-related to any of the Sano. (Shinichiro is kind and caring but he's not the best noticing and handling his loved-ones' feelings)

Then, because Takeomi is an unreliable narrator, we can argue Shinichiro let Takeomi know about BD disbandment before disbanding it so that Takeomi could adjust to their new reality that was about to take place – back to civilian lifestyle

Figuring out which one is blind to his friend’s intentions/feelings is then.. something that remains blurry because the PoVs in Tokyo Revengers are really subjective (and since it’s a work of fiction, that’s a compliment! Good stuff) but, taking into account their seemingly lack of interaction when Takeomi is in debt in canon I’d continue with the idea that while Shinichiro can figure out something’s off with his loved-ones, he actually doesn’t know how to make it better and may not completely be right in his deductions (+his seemingly lack of interactions with Izana after he learnt about their family situation. Granted in both cases, Takeomi and Izana made it so Shinichiro wouldn’t be able to find them) | If you want a post listing Shinichiro's questionable decisions around children, @chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter wrote this

So… Shinichiro may feel like there's something wrong with Takeomi from the moment his best friend met his girlfriend but he won't be able to pinpoint what.

And if Shinichiro has suspicions he brushes them aside because he trusts Takeomi

Even though it's Shinichiro we're talking about, Takeomi would still get an ego boost to counter how shitty he feels (both before and after Shinichiro learns about his feelings) and would try things to get Shinichiro's girl. Good luck dealing with the mess

If he ends up learning about Takeomi's feelings for his girlfriend, by whatever means, he'd be sympathetic. That won't go well with Takeomi feeling ashamed tho lol Takeomi hates feeling like that, he'd probably go and hide away for some times

The situation would feel incredibly awkward for the both of them

If Takeomi tries to do something that is too much: he'd try and continue to prove himself that that's what he wants and that he can do it and no consequences will befall on him

He's pushy but not a harasser, abuser or rapist, so he'd stop if Shinichiro's girlfriend makes it known. He'd feel even worse though because of course Shinichiro got a girl as faithful and lovestruck as him, as perfect as him, and Takeomi is nothing like that

(He had hoped a bit by convincing himself that since Shinichiro's lovelife is disastrous she was most definitively like the other girls – not actually loving Shinichiro)

he’d try to get himself some girls for the night to distract himself but he won’t be able to

So, unfortunately since canon gave us a rather oblivious Shinichiro and a Takeomi who depreciates himself every five seconds before having an ego boost until it crashes again (rinse, repeat) - the only one who can fix the situation (or at least get it moving by stopping its status quo) is the girlfriend. (unless you decide to wait for Takeomi’s inevitable *big boom*)

[shadowbends]

✍️🚀🎨?

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

This goes hand in hand with the other answer I gave about what helps me focus, ie. the most important thing is that I have no distractions. The only thing I need besides that is somewhere comfy to sit and my laptop!

Usually this means I'm writing while sitting alone, at my bed. I really should make better use of my desk, though. |D;

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

As a teenager, I definitely took the 'by the seat of your pants' approach, but now that I'm older? Definitely appreciate knowing where I'm going with things. It never ends up up being a full outline—I make up too much as I go along for that to work—but I like having at least a timeline in my head, of the points that I'm working towards.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Oh gosh, I think I'd combust if someone made fanart for my fic; it'd be very unexpected, so I'd be happy with anything. If I had to pick something, though...

Well the first answer that comes to mind is [redacted], from the new chapter of don't pay my ransom that I'm currently working on now. But for a scene that I've actually put out already, I'd go with any of Mikey and Leo's shared dream sequences from the earlier chapters. I had a lot of fun writing how trippy they were, and comedic or surreal, I think they'd be the most fun to see brought to life in art.

Thanks for the ask!

Ask meme here!

[practice2creativeproject]

《Gorogoa》 Reflection

Gorogoa was definitely one of the biggest inspirations behind my final project.

This game has such a unique atmosphere, both in its art and its gameplay. What impressed me the most is the beautiful hand-drawn pencil style and how the game delivers its entire experience without a single line of dialogue or any UI-based tutorial.

Playing it felt like interacting with a living, immersive picture book. You could simply enjoy solving puzzles, or take your time exploring the visual clues to slowly piece together the hidden story behind it all.

A Bit of Background

Gorogoa was created entirely by Jason Roberts, and when I found this out, I was genuinely amazed. It’s hard to believe that such a detailed and polished game was made by just one person!

Jason Roberts was originally a software engineer, and he spent over five years working on Gorogoa all by himself — learning and building it from the ground up.

Unique Visual Style

As for the art, Jason Roberts mentioned that he drew inspiration from many classic painters and artworks. His illustration style gives the game a delicate, almost surreal feel, one that makes every frame feel like a standalone piece of art.

One of Jason Roberts’ main inspirations was David Roberts, a 19th-century painter.

Jason especially admired how David Roberts was able to depict ancient ruins with precise detail, while still giving the overall image a soft, dreamlike quality.

Next is a picture book called The Mysteries of Harris Burdick by Chris Van Allsburg. The unique thing about this book is that each page features a single image and a short line of text, yet it gives readers endless room for imagination. Jason Roberts said that this book helped him realize that even just one image can, through the right kind of expression, lead the viewer to imagine a world far beyond the picture's edges.

Next is comic artist Chris Ware, whose work is known for its high-density and diagrammatic storytelling style, all within a single image. His approach inspired Jason Roberts to think about how to convey different timelines and narrative layers within a single frame, and how to guide the viewer to interpret the story being told through the image itself.

Many other old-school games and artists influenced Jason Roberts.

During the development process, he personally preferred detailed visual design, and he wanted to create scenes that players would be willing to spend time exploring and reading. That’s why he chose a sketch-like art style, using delicate pencil strokes to bring the visuals to life.

What I admire most — and want to learn from — in Gorogoa’s art style is how Jason Roberts controls visual information on screen.

Every frame in Gorogoa is beautifully illustrated with fine details, But Jason cleverly uses different levels of color saturation to guide the player’s focus and gameplay direction.

This way, the rich visuals never become distracting while solving puzzles. At the same time, if you slow down and take your time, you’ll notice tons of tiny, carefully designed details in each image.

I think that balance is what makes the art in Gorogoa truly brilliant. Of course, the stunning symbols and surreal environments throughout the game also left a strong impression on me.

And because of the game's unique mechanics, Jason Roberts shared that no image could be created in isolation — Each one had to be tested and reworked to see how it could visually connect and interact with others.

All I can say is that the visual design of Gorogoa is full of things worth studying and learning from!

Simple but Stunning Gameplay Mechanics

Gorogoa has just one core gameplay mechanic — the idea of deconstructing and reconstructing images.

Players interact with four frames on the screen by zooming in and out, separating or overlapping layers, and dragging image panels like puzzle pieces to connect elements across scenes.

Jason Roberts chose to use four simple, clean squares for the main layout because he believed that a limited space could actually create a more powerful contrast. By narrowing down what could happen inside each frame, players would feel a stronger sense of surprise when unexpected things did occur.

His goal was to give players the feeling of watching a magic trick, where the solutions often defy logic, and players experience the illusion of something impossible happening within a very controlled space.

I personally loved this core mechanic while playing Gorogoa! The controls are extremely simple — there's basically no need for a tutorial — but the experience is deeply engaging. As I played, I was constantly curious about where each image would take me next.

It started as a puzzle game, but over time, it began to feel more like I was watching a magic performance. Each image connects so cleverly with others, and there’s no traditional sense of time or logic — Yet within the four limited frames, you’re somehow traveling through moments, spaces, and meanings.

Even though the game only has one main mechanic, it truly pushes that mechanic to its fullest potential. I really feel like Jason Roberts achieved what he set out to do — He made me feel like there’s a whole imaginative world beyond the borders of each frame.

Conclusion

In short, Gorogoa's visual design and gameplay experience are both incredibly unique. I felt like I was constantly going through a cycle of observe → understand → be amazed → dive deeper — over and over again, haha!

And because the game has no dialogue at all, there’s so much room for imagination. This game really made me think more deeply about the limits and possibilities of visual storytelling in games and it helped me understand what it truly means to "tell a story through images."

Reference

Roberts, J. (2017) Gorogoa – A Short Film by Jason Roberts [YouTube video]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRbFZm8ZvcM (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Wikipedia (n.d.) Gorogoa. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorogoa (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Tutt'Art (2016) David Roberts – Orientalist Painter. Available at: https://www.tuttartpitturasculturapoesiamusica.com/2016/03/David-Roberts.html (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Unknown (n.d.) The Mysteries of Harris Burdick – PDF version. Available at: https://mrsgraveswebsite.weebly.com/uploads/1/2/6/8/12686140/the_mysteries_of_harris_burdick.pdf (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

The New York Times (2012) Image from “The Mysteries of Harris Burdick” Review. Available at: https://static01.nyt.com/images/2012/10/21/books/review/1021-wolk01/1021-wolk01-superJumbo-v2.jpg (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Steam Community (n.d.) Gorogoa Screenshot. Available at: https://images.steamusercontent.com/ugc/992366716345202682/9F063161D82434889136C1338E898C2A0BC6440C/ (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

Unknown (n.d.) Image of Book Cover (possibly Harris Burdick). Available at: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcRktv_IFHc9OocsPlvTmSp7E_UQ49aSIOF5MyMpBb-xDelzVgvj9XZJLng4KLNHocf7v-nXSxSY1J6dzdEp2MQhg-lOn8_bc16-A06YQE4 (Accessed: 29 April 2025).

[ray935sworld]

🐢 Heyja, love, you really are planning on killing me. There is no other way. Those thoughts about the two of them coming out and then BEING out. Jorge would be so cringe and while sometimes Dani does wish that the world didn't get as many shirtless pics of him in one week as he has taken in his whole life combined. But he loves Jorge and that cringeyness is what he signed up for when he put his signature on the wedding papers. And he stands by it - any mean comment regarding Jorge's declarations of love he hates and says so. They are married and Dani loves Jorge period. I also think that (it doesn't happen often but it does sometimes, also idk if the timeline fits, but idc rn haha, it's cute so I tell you) when Jorge is interviewed on the grid and Dani comments on Spanish telly, and Jorge knows then he sometimes winks at the camera and Dani stumbles over his own words for a second and turns bright red because he has to be a professional right now but it's his literal husband who is flirting with him through the camera. And he so will make Jorge pay for it when they're back home. He can't have distractions like that when he's doing his job. And unlike Jorge, he can't just be a gay pain in the arse on live tv. But then, as you say, sometimes they hide and Dani does think it's funny and posts about it but doesn't elaborate any further when he's back in the studio. He just grins to himself, still feeling Jorge's fingerprints on him EVERYWHERE.

Speaking of which, for Pedrenzo: Hickeys? Bite marks? You've mentioned it in your other post, but is that a regular thing for them? Because I do think that Jorge LOVES leaving something on Dani's skin while Dani absolutely hates having to turn up to a MotoGP job and have a bruise right on his neck. Do you agree? And vice versa? Jorge doesn't care, does he? If there's a hickey on his neck, then leave him be?

I also totally agree with Dani being hesitant on coming out but as soon as he's ready and Jorge can feel he is, then they follow through with it. Especially Jorge has no problem with standing up for their relationship!!

AND YES, Jorge realising he wants to retire because as you said, Dani has grown to be the most important part of his life and if his job is restraining him from being with Dani as much as possible, then it's not the right job for him any longer. And he does want all the domestic moments with Dani in which he thinks "wow, he's hot and I landed him" and can't believe his luck. He's also horny, but definitely while being lucky and happy. But that's also the reason why he is so incredibly happy when Dani proposes to him as well as you said. Like. It's still surreal sometimes and the ring is so perfect and he loves it and he's trying to come up with a wedding ring that would top this but he could even take the cheapest ring in existence, write Dani's name on it and Jorge would never take it off again.

And thanks for being proud of me, I feel appreciated!!! Also, good luck to you still with your assignment 😭😭

Oh if you THAT is something, you NEED to check out the wedding thoughts post I made if I may say so. Personally I like them a lot. There are 2 of them. 1 with the general idea, 2 with a few more details.

Oh the amount of shirtless Dani pics definitely multiplies BY A LOT after they are out. And I TOTALLY see Jorge flirting with Dani through the camera. Like he looks up and down in the camera, smiles and winks, and yes he even put his sunglasses off for that first. And Dani is on the other end like either *faking a coughing fit to cover up his blushing and getting his coworker to take over* (if they aren't out), totally blushing like you said OR hear me out - just grinning and then saying something like "And here we have 5 time worldchampion Jorge Lorenzo (or Jorge Pedrosa? Jorge Lorenzo Pedrosa??? I DON'T KNOW), trying to flirt with his husband - me. - on live TV." And another dazn reporter (Izaskun? Izaskun.) is like "And? Is it working?" "Yeaaah... It is." He's only slightly embarrassed and has the biggest "That's my man" smile ever.

And about leaving marks. Yes. Just - just yes. Especially Jorge. I mean - excuse him but having a VISIBLE. PHYSICAL. FOR EVERYONE TO SEE PROVE. That Dani is taken. And his. Taken by him. Because those are HIS teeth on Dani's skin. (They are THE WORST in an A/B/O universe with bite marks and mating bikes and the whole sense thing.) I absolutely adore a slight possessiveness (not yandere kind of possessive) that's expressive the absolute love and need to have the other person for themself and a physical prove would be everything. So yeah - Jorge would get why Dani tries to cover them up on a logical level bit hell when he doesn't. I think I'd be even worst. Like Jorge would be a little too proud and have a dirty smile whenever he sees Dani or thinks about it because he's like "I did that. I was ALLOWED to do that. You asked me to do that." And Dani. Dani would definitely leave some marks on Jorge too. Not as extreme as Jorge does on him but still noticeable. Maybe when he knows Jorge will go to some PR event or fancy party with just a little bit too many stunning models around Jorge. Then Dani would definitely put a hickey or two on Jorge. Just to scare everyone off that decided to ignore the wedding ring. (Jorge would NEVER and Dani knows that but it's about the principle and making sure no one even tries.)

And about the Dani accepting coming out. IMAGINE. Shortly before they come out or Dani mentions wanting/ being okay to come out, he "checks" if he's actually comfortable with being public by giving Jorge a kiss in the paddock. Like not the main road but not hidden somewhere either. It's just short and sweet and like "Okay see you" *kisses him on the lips* and leaves. Jorge be like ERROR 404 BRAIN NOT FOUND because WHAAAAT???!!!! Dani. Kissing him. In public. In broad day light. And honestly - Dani doesn't mind. He likes kissing him. Even in public so his check was a positive one.

Awwe, I'm sure you're always doing a great job! My assignment is... Well I went to tbe library today. Got some books and some articles together and now I just gotta read that through and somehow smash it into my assignment. But one thing - I absolutely HATE having to list and quote sources but hey you gotta do it, right ❤️

[the-fighting-redguard]

Well, it's been quite some time since I've been here. I had definitely forgotten about my archive of journalized fight logs, and entries of regular life quests and adventures. The journey I've been on has been long, arduous and most informative for me as an individual. There's so much I've learned from people, places, and just as important, from my own individual choices.

It feels rather surreal, posting again; not because of the lack of success with expectations, but rather with the unexpected circle that life(or perhaps our choices), in conjunction with how maybe even destiny/fate, can and will have us revolve within. At least, maybe, until there are certain lessons we truly understand and master.

I took this photo a day or two ago, proud of my revitalized desire for healthier eating. My plan was an Omelette with all the ingredients shown:(Onions, Garlic, Green and Red Peppers, and Jalapenos), saving the carrots to munch on as a side. Afterwards, in the midst of my munching, I thought to myself: " I haven't made journal entries in quite some time." For me, at least within that moment, and this current line of time for myself, journalizing things was and is a forgotten element of my life that was a key point in not only success, but gratitude; the ability to remember how things became what they were. To look back and remember the road I traversed; so that I may carry on with renewed perseverance of discipline and character, or with joy of the things that I overcame so I may continue to accrue positive energy and remember my accomplishments.

Funnily enough, as I scanned my email that day, I had gotten a Tumblr message in my social folder. One link led to another, and I was back here. I took a moment to scroll through my timeline; looking at the history I had made for myself, the posts of hard work and dedication, the treasures rewards from those things, the setbacks, etc. After a tumultuous previous couple of years, it was refreshing for me to see at least one place where I still had a piece of myself stored; one space that I had not deleted out of negligence and desolate wrath.

I'm glad to still have this, and glad to be back; to log for myself, and to share my story, my quests, my adventures. Nowadays, it feels like decadence has a large place within society and humanity as whole(at least in my personal opinion). With the things we as humans forget and lose to time, there are so many experiences, lessons, and people forgotten. For a while, I was on a path within myself, where I wanted to be that. I'm glad there was one spot saved, where I could come back and refresh the essence of me. Taking from Lion King "To remember who I am." (RIP Mufasa)

I look forward to bringing more posts and moments, so they may possibly cultivate growth in me, or whoever may stumble across them. I'm glad to be back, here and back on my toes. The quests begins again! Onward!

[runimanio]

2024 Game Clear #17 Digimon World Re:Digitized Decode

Your Tekken timeline is worthless if it doesn't include this game

So uh this game was the reason I got a twitter account. I was 13 at the time and really starting to surf the web properly to explore my hobbies, meaning I was able to look up news on my favorite franchise and see what was coming out soon or discover entries that I never knew existed as opposed to before where I just had to stumble upon it in the wild after it's already out.

At some point I came across this trailer and some of the PSP trailers and I just thought the game just looked so damn cool, I was so excited for it and so annoyed that Bandai Namco (Namco Bandai at the time) wouldn't commit to a English Localization that I made a twitter account to harass inquire the the Namco Bandai twitter accounts about a potential English release someday... which never happened sadly but I was amused that Decode added a Twitter-esc feed on the bottom screen for these reason.

A couple years later, after the fan translation released I imported PSP game (the first game I ever imported) and patched it and had a ball. Even so being able to play the 3DS version that I wanted so bad in English and on actual hardware after so long is kind of surreal.

Though admittedly the larger roster of raiseable Digimon aside (I kind wish the base game launched with a lot of these added Digimon, like its crazy that PSP game didn't have Palmon & Tyrannomon) I don't think a lot of the Decode content is the most high quality, the new X-Antibody & Demon Lord scenario have a lot of cool stuff in them but the Infinity mountain dungeon is kind of a slog and the demon lord quest feels pretty padded. This is for the most part fine though because the base game is still very solid.

The Digimon World games aren't for everyone but the general flow of these games I find so cozy: raising your Digimon the best you can and see how much of the world you can explore and how many Digimon you can recruit to your city before your partner dies and you have to return to the city. The Digimon you recruit can improve your city which in turn helps you raise your partner better. You definitely need to play with a guide near by though.

I uh also somehow got locked into a evolution that doesn't seem to be documented anywhere: Grappleomon -> Vikemon, I have no idea why Grapple would not evolve into Bancho as I don't think I made a care mistake but discovering a new evolution line is cool i guess

The fan patch is pretty good, a couple of typos and weird grammar in some but hey Digimon games always had messy localizations so honestly probably better than we would've gotten lol.

[letsberealgenz]

5 Signs You Found Your Purpose

All I see is dollar sign. Replace this with purpose sign. You are definitely at the right place if you choose to read this till the very end. 5 signs you have found your true life’s purpose. Your soul’s purpose. Your calling. What you’re truly meant to be doing on Earth. It’s already 2024, let’s be real!

You feel truly alive

We are all alive but how many of us are actually truly alive? I doubt many. The word truly alive comes back to purpose. You know you’re truly alive when everyday feels so exciting. You know you’re truly alive when you love getting up every single day looking forward to it. You know you’re truly alive when you don’t feel like it’s a need to go to work instead it’s a want. Need and want are the only deciding factor whether are you truly alive.

Your work makes you happy

This is definitely a pretty important one in fact it’s the most IMPORTANT sign indicating whether you’ve found your purpose or not. Your work is supposed to be a home that you look forward to visiting often. Your work is meant to fulfill your soul. Your work is meant to be satisfying. Your work is meant to be your safe space. Run honey if its not!

Yes I know sometimes the work that you’re doing pays you so well but if it doesn’t make you feel content at the end of the day when you’re retiring for bed then it’s meaningless! Imagine how would you feel when you’re at your deathbed because the dreams that you don’t pursue are the same dreams that would haunt you when you’re older. I live by this quote and I hope this would help you:

“Something that has not been fulfilled would eventually arrive at its surface. It’s just a matter of time. So it’s now or never. The risk would always be there in anything that you do in life. All you have to do is choose. Do it for you honey.”

You start reflecting on your journey by asking some weird questions

Questions like these:

How did I even achieve all this within such a short timeline?

How did I even knew I had to do all this?

How did I get this far in life?

I can’t believe I could do all that by myself. Is this me for real?

How did I attract the right people, the right opportunities and the right everything into my life?

Honestly there’s more but here are some main ones! The key is you’re content with your progress and you believe you’re taking steps everyday that is highly aligned with your purpose.

People look up to you

This one is real. It is proven in fact I have experienced this by myself. Therefore I can write about it. The moment you start receiving inquiries, texts or calls regarding what you’re doing is actually inspiring them and they would like to know more about it, it’s a clear indicator that you’re on the right path.

Something is unique about you. Your journey is appealing for others and it might feel absolutely nothing for you but it means a lot for someone else. The work that you put out every single day is actually motivating or even guiding someone into a positive direction.

I’ve come to a realization most of the time in life when you’re living your purpose, the result is mostly delayed gratification. It’s not like a normal 9–5 job where your paycheck justifies everything and keeps your momentum going for months or even years.

This one’s pretty different because it’s only you can see something that is not visible for everyone but just because you believe in it so strongly somehow it creates a positive ripple effect on everything that you do and this is the momentum that keeps you going. It’s not the lucrative monetization instead it’s something bigger. There is a greater WHY on what you’re doing. A wise man once said:

“When your why is big enough, you will find your how.” — Les Brown

You cannot stop working

Sounds so surreal but it’s so true. There are times where even 24 hour is not sufficient for you I mean this works for everybody but when you’re truly living your purpose it’s those hours that you just wish to pause. Like you don’t want to leave your work space. You want to get more done within the day. The most ironic part you don’t feel like stopping. Like you can just keep going!

Let me give an example before leaving if you’re running on paycheck and you’re just working for it like that’s your end goal. So when the clock strikes 5pm you just want to stop. Even if you choose to work extra hours you want to be compensated for it right?

But if you’re working on your purpose, the time, the monetization does not matter because you can see exactly what is your end goal. It’s bigger than a paycheck. It is beyond your being. It’s serving the greater good. If ever you wonder why purpose is important or even how to find your purpose take that as a sign of an awakening!

Yours, Asrajjit Kaur

[inbeautiful-trauma]

I was tagged by @emiliosandozsequence

What was your first ever story idea? What happened to it?

I would say probably some kind of adventure story probably with witches. It's likely written in some sort of journal somewhere but i don't remember exactly.

The oldest story I have a good chunk of is a slice-of-life drama about a kid with mental health struggles who also has visions into other people's lives. It's written entirely in poems, it's in my google drive. I still think it's an idea I might rework.

What’s your writing routine?

Music, I have specific writing playlists for some of my stories and trying to prop up pillows so I'm not hunched over.

Are you a plotter, a pantser, or something in between?

I usually have outlines of a broad timeline of the stories. And I do keep records of dates/ages/magic systems to refer to. So definitely do a lot of plotting. But often if I get into a story I will veer off from what I planned lol. Or I realise what I originally planned doesn't make a lot of sense with how my character is anymore.

I do write a lot of poetry from just what I'm feeling without thinking.

Do you try to tell moral stories throughout your work, or any other life lessons? What are they?

I won't go into a story trying to teach a life lesson or base it around proving a point. I mean my opinions come through in my stories. So there is implicit morals in the story. My POV characters do tend to have strong views, so you will pick up on certain things, but it's not meant to convince people I just like opinionated characters. But some of my characters have buck-wild opinions.

What do you prefer, character development or worldbuilding? Why?

Character development definitely. My worldbuilding is generally in service of the characters. I like Worldbuiling! And I try to have rich worlds with some degree of constancy so no one is thrown by shit making no sense. And I do enjoy creating things, like religions, but characters and relationships are what I'm best at and most invested in.

Do you have any tips for budding writers?

Nope! I don't feel like I have enough experience.

Who inspires you to write the most?

Stephen Chbosky, Beverly Cleary, Suzanne Collins,  E.L. Doctorow, Gillian Flynn, Ellen Hopkins, Tamsyn Muir, Matthew Stover, Ned Vizzini, Hanya Yanagihara, and Markus Zusaks are my literary inspirations. They are some of the writers I admire the most in how they convey complicated emotions.

Angie Sage is another writer who has always been a favourite. For her, it is the emotions as well but the sheer ability of her to construct an immersive world with consistent magic and world-building really expanded my imagination as a kid.

I would say Inn Between, The Magnus Archives, The Penumbra Podcast (Juno Steel Story), Welcome to Night Vale and Where The Stars Fallalso all inspire me! These podcasts are captivating and all have very interesting story mechanics! The surrealism of Welcome to Night Vale is also something I really like.

Doctor Who is something that inspires me as the amount of time I've spent dissecting that show I think has really made me think of the bones of my stories. ATLA & She Ra as well.

Web Weaves! Reading all the ways people are struck even by just fragments.

Mythology! Folk Tales! History!

And also like the amount of bullshit I'm going through in life. I need to get my pain and loneliness out somewhere. The way stories have always been my lifeline through all of my life! I need to create, the urge to tell stories is in my soul. And the way it saved me I hope others will feel seen by my writing as well.