#this is definitely subject to change if i have any better ideas lol

[djsangos]

//also i went and used this site to go ahead and throw together a (probably not final) splashtag for captain lol

"kao3" is kind of a pun on "kaori" (the like. official? name for the promotional inkling girl for splat1, which i'm on the fence on if captain is kaori or not in my interp-- kaori is not their deadname but maybe either their turf name or a nickname) and the number 3 because, u know lol.

wasn't sure what to do for the badges. so the squid sisters are there.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Thought up another one!

this one is illumi,

illumi realizing he’s in love but there is internal conflict within himself not just due to his family but his own emotions and thought if he can even bring balances / if he was what you want. A lil Angst and comfort? You can change it around and everything if ya want I don’t mind. I just like givin prompts lol. And if you’ve done illumi for a similar request or exact same can you do meruem , shalnark or Franklin if you write any of them.

Ooh, I have no idea if I had a similar request because I wrote so much and forgot to update my masterlist haha! However, I'll just write some for all of the characters because why not. Thank you for the request!

Illumi, Shalnark, Franklin, Meruem — Internal Conflict about love

Illumi

Unless you were arranged to marry him, he will be in a serious conflict with himself. Sure, the Zoldycks need a good heir, but Illumi knows himself that he's not meant for the title of Zoldyck head. Because of this, he probably has a bad thought that he shouldn't have interest in a love interest or *gasp* marriage. However, here he is wondering why his heart beats when you talk to him, why he can't see you getting hurt (unless it's training but :/)

I feel like, in a horrible sense, his first instinct is to try and kill you. If you're gone that means he won't have to go through the hurdles he has every night thinking about you. But he can't bring himself to do it. If it gets to the point he can't bear it, he might go through with it

He won't dare bring it up to his mother or father, but if his grandfather realize something's up he might have to talk to him. Zeno is definitely the more chill guy in the family, which means Illumi might be able to convince you to join the Zoldycks if you weren't invited already. The hardest obstacle would be Kikyo, but that's for later

Overall I feel like you would be able to see the internal conflict more than he would like to admit. He's staring at you for really long (concerningly long) times, he talks to you even harsher than before, etc. If you want to live, either cut ties with him or try to convince him love isn't a bad thing

Shalnark

I feel like he doesn't actually mind love that much, he just gets conflicted if you're a civilian or if you're someone he targeted originally. Think enemies to lovers

He would also try to murder you :/ but he might consult Chrollo first. Shalnark will never tell anyone about his crush, especially Feitan or Phinks. However, Chrollo is a mediator for the team and ultimately the only person in the troupe that probably knows what romance is (but it's only from books haha). This means you might be saved by Chrollo's recommendation to Shalnark that love isn't bad

Shalnark will be frank with you on his occupation as a world-renowned criminal. He doesn't want you to fall in love with someone who isn't him, and he wants to give you one more chance before he wants you to be his. If you leave, that means he'll just go on with his daily life. However, if you decide to stay, he might force you to move to Meteor City for "your safety"

You'll not be able to tell he's conflicted because of how he's just so good at hiding emotions. He's smiling, laughing as he usually does. However, something's off. You can tell he's watching you more intently than before while you're back is turned, almost like he's debating throwing a needle in your head.

Franklin

He's honestly also super chill about love, like it's hard to find him conflicted. However, the only time he would be conflicted would be if he found out you're just a regular civilian who could be subject to unneeded visitors from the Hunter Association or the mafia. He doesn't want to see you get hurt

Won't resort to violence! He'll sit down and talk to himself before talking to Chrollo about the matter. Similar to Shalnark's logic, Chrollo's the counselor and leader of the team. He wants to know if he should tell you about his feelings or if it's better for your well-being to not say anything.

Franklin eventually tells you. He tells you in a secluded and quiet environment just what he really does. He tells you he understands if you disagree with him, if you want to run away and tell the police (though this means he might have to resort to violence), but in the end he wants you to be safe. If you leave, that'll be the end of you two's relationship. If you stay, he'll be grateful and tell you he'll always make sure you're safe.

You could probably tell he liked you and had this internal conflict. He started to blush more and he would be quiet around you more than he did before. If you ask him before his big reveal, he'll originally deny these feelings

Meruem

Assuming you're Komugi, he goes through the entire Chimera Ant Arc and doesn't tell you until you two are literally dying :/

However! If you aren't the gungi genius then how this starts might've been similar. Meruem might've had you explain some human concepts to him or maybe he kept you around because it seemed like you had potential for something the ants would need. Nonetheless, his feelings were pure accident.

This leads to him having a conflict that all the rest of the royal guards can see. Pitou won't really mind the king's sudden interest in you, though Pitou might feel it's a little strange how such a weak person like you stayed alive for more than a few hours next to Meruem. Then there's Youpi, who could care less about who the king likes. This guy thinks as long as you aren't a threat to the king's power, no worries. The issue is Pouf. He'll try to convince Meruem you're worthless and whenever Meruem goes through the "should-I-kill-y/n" Pouf will advocate for your death :/. Meruem finds himself never following through this though, so at some point he just stops asking out loud

You will see the conflict in real time, also hear from him about his emotions. He doesn't actually tell you he loves you since he doesn't really know what "love" means. He'll tell you what he's feeling, and then tell you with no corners cut that sometimes he feels like he should kill you (seriously what is with these ants). Give him some time, he'll learn eventually that he's going through a crush and nothing that will kill him (until Netero happens but -_-)

[brucewaynehater101]

Fake Uncle is brilliant! Love it!

Bruce: so the uncle was real?

Tim: yup

Bruce: but he's an evil uncle???

Tim: yup

Bruce: why did you never tell me??

Tim *blinks: it never came up. Duh.

Well, for the Drakes. I was thinking they'd be aliens as well. But even within their culture they were aloof. Like maybe as strategists but not someone with a family circle. They had no clue what to do with a child. But, their king handed them a baby with his final breath. Earth looked safe, so that's where they went.

I'm sure they were baffled by earth human customs. I imagine raising children is different on earth. They were, however, good at negotiations, so they worked their way up the social ladder, hoping to give Tim a better life (not quite princely, but close).

I really like the idea about them searching for artifacts to teach Tim about their home!!! Good idea!! I'll have to use that!

The Drakes tried, but I think they mostly threw money at Tim. New bike? Sure. Want to learn Mandarin? Why not? Want a new nanny cause the last one was rude? Of course, your highness! Immediately!

New nannies happened all the time because timbo was a brat and fired them for petty stuff as a little kid.

Kori would be a fun add-on! Maybe she offers Tim slightly wrong advice culturally.

K: -and do this! It's very important!

T: does it.

Staff: Noooooo! This is WRONG!

T and K: confused.

Tim was trained that he was a prince, but he also was taught that it was very, very unlikely that he would take the throne. (The Drakes died later)

EXACTLY! That's along the lines I was thinking, but I'm not super great at making up funny traditions yet. Lol.

You are CORRECT about Tim "not being able to change rules" and "unstable position". It makes sense for the AU.

Ridiculous subjects are in the plan!

Subject: I have brought you this gift Your Highness. *bows with jar of slime.

Tim*is concerned: it's moving?!

Subject *shocked: Of course, Highness! I would only bring you alive Grummk!

Tim: .....ok....thank you?

Damian would be fascinated and JEALOUS me thinks.

I am so vibing with the Drakes trying their best and being so clueless as well. I'd love to see a scene or two of Janet and Jack just arguing with each other as toddler Tim causes chaos in the background.

Janet: "Is he climbing the tree in the backyard?"

Jack: "Yeah. I saw an article about human kids and trees or something."

Janet: "Is he climbing the tree that the gardener sectioned off for safety?"

Jack: "Yes?"

Janet: ".... I'm sure it'll be fine."

Tim ended up with a broken arm.

I liked the court scene you had! Stuff like that would be hilarious to read ^^

Are there any differences between Tim/the Drakes and humans? It would be funny if it's something small, especially that all humans have (like the ability to taste cinnamon or something). Just traits that Tim is able to get away with by leaning into his "I was neglected by my 'parents' and thus have no clue how to do normal human things like the human I totally am." Any physical traits (like a blue birthmark) could be cool as well.

Tim, if you wanted, could also bond with Kara and Clark about being an alien raised on Earth.

I think Damian could become an advisor for Tim. That would be kind of cute to see. They could also bond about being heirs of empires that they thought they would never actually inherit.

Dick could charm/be a court performer if he wanted to do that. Alfred would definitely get his hands on the kitchen staff to ensure Tim is properly being fed. Barbara would beef up Tim's security.

Cass would probably play pranks on Tim's "army" while Steph gathered blackmail on the planet's high society (and pull pranks on the ones that pissed her off).

I don't know enough about Helena Bertinelli, but maybe she would treat it as a fun vacation to intimidate rich people?

Duke might be interested in learning more about Tim's home world and what it's like to space travel. He would also be the one to accidentally set half the castle on fire.

I don't know if you'd like your AU to have all the Bats, but there's some stuff they could do.

[azelmaandeponine]

I enjoy exploring different kinds of relationships in media and analyzing it, it makes me think and reflect. When I first saw the whole Bill and Ford thing it interested me.

There were definitely interesting takes on it in the fandom at the beginning, but now it’s expanded so much and become so popular I feel like the point has been lost.

Firstly, the widespread romanization of it sets me off. Maybe it was just me (?) but I thought it was understood that even though it was a “ship” and the “point” of it was that it’s toxic… I dunno. I have observed the abuse is either overlooked or romanticized, and both bother me. Because if you really stop to think about it for more than a minute you realize how absolutely awful and horrifying it must have been to endure that situation.

And I am of the perspective that wanting to explore these relationships is not a bad thing. It is complex, it can be interesting. You can learn a lot about the characters and how they think, process the world, view themselves, their relationships with other characters– and sometimes even yourself. But unfortunately a lot of that nuance can get easily lost and thought I don’t doubt there are some very interesting things out there that take the time to do that, in the more widespread fandom it gets oversimplified and lost.

Don’t even get me started on those who think they should reconcile/get back together. Maybe they don’t know how it’s like to be in an abusive relationship, but getting back in contact with a person who was abusive in your life is an awful idea. Even if the person HAS actually genuinely changed (which… yeah I don’t know about you but I cannot see Bill changing in any significant way that would even make this an option) for the sake of the others sanity and ability to move forward in life.

I really like Ford, as someone who is autistic I see myself in him. I know a lot of people don’t like Ford (for some reasons more valid than others). But regardless- on the subject of his past relationship with Bill, the amount of victim blaming is baffling. It’s giving “they were mutually abusive” kind of thing. Like yes, we can point out, even criticize how it probably isn’t a good idea to recite ancient enchantments outloud, or whatever you wanna point out. But I actually don’t care what he did to get himself in that situation. He was vulnerable, tricked, taken advantage of and mistreated (to put it lightly). This guy is in your MIND, in your head- literally! Not only did he psychologically torment him, mess with his literal thoughts and memories, hurt his body. I cannot imagine how badly that can mess you up. Now imagine after all that, after literally killing the guy, he’s like… Sixer come back. Even if he had changed for the better (which he has NOT like i said before) why would you want to associate yourself with someone who hurt you (and others!) so badly. And even if some codependent part of you did want it back, I’d argue that’s even more of a reason to stay away because that can only lead to things getting worse.

I’m not going anywhere else with this anymore, just a rant. Thanks for reading lol

You're welcome.

And I agree. I DO think the abusive nature of their relationship deserves exploration, and it IS canon Ford was abused by Bill. Explore that. Explore Ford's trauma. Explore how he heals from that.

It's when people act like it's a cute romantic ship, or boil it down to "toxic/mutually toxic"...like no. It is straight up horrifically abusive, with Bill as the abuser and Ford as the victim. Reading Journal 3 was unsettling in regards to Bill and Ford's relationship because of the abuse.

Reading TBOB was terrifying because of the abuse and torture. I was legitimately afraid for Ford during...certain parts...of TBOB. And TBOB is, you know, a book.

I can't imagine what it would be like to actually live through an experience like that.

And yet people continue to victim blame Ford, and it makes me want to pull my hair out. The way people victim blame Ford because he summoned Bill despite the vague cave wall warnings is just basically them going "you were warned he was bad news, so it's your fault for dating him in the first place". I think we all agree that's a horrible thing to say to a domestic violence victim. And given that Ford's relationship with Bill has been paralleled in canon to an abusive relationship, the same can be applied here. It's a terrible thing to say about Ford, who was literally abused by Bill. Abuse is never the victim's fault.

And yeah, getting back with your abuser is NEVER a good idea.

And while people CAN change, Bill shows no desire to. That was...pretty obvious in TBOB. He refuses to change, so I really don't see him as redeemable.

Honestly the fandom's victim blaming of Ford is giving me flashbacks to the BMC fandom and NOT in a good way.

[moonshine-nightlight]

2025 Writing Plans

With this being the third such yearly plan post, i think its officially a tradition lol. my standard disclaimer is this is my high level plan right now, subject to change and likely overly optimistic, but still worthwhile to make and try to layout. posting about writing plans gets me excited for the new year.

here's what i'm thinking:

Nothing's Wrong With Dale: Borrowing some of my plan from last year, i need to finish my own edit of Dale, hire an editor, commission cover art, and then self-publish. I'd love to get all that done in time for december publishing, but given how long everything was taking last year, i'd settle for just pushing it over to editors by the end of the year.

Short Stories: I want to finish off Courtship Confusion and Free Piano: Haunted this year, along with at least one other new story, but i am not trying to predict what that might be lol. maybe one that's been on my shelf for a while,maybe the one i started a couple days ago, maybe a new idea I havn't even had yet, like Voluntary Sacrifice. Nothing's gonna get posted until May at the earliest.

Novella(s): I'd like to kick off work self-publishing two other Novellas: a combo naga novella (Finally Woken and Selfish) and Sacrifice. No idea how far I can get between my edits and revisions, scrounging up the money to pay for editor/publishing/cover art, and pulling together some sort of timeline for all that, but I want to get it all going so i have more self-published work out there (it'd b really cool to go to a con or something in 2026 and have a set of books to promo and not just 2 lol - not to get too ahead of myself).

Series: I want to make Sacrifice the first novella in a 6 book series, each focusing on a different deity returning to the temple with the final book about all of them coming together against a common enemy, likely focusing back on the MC from Sacrifice. I have some note sand outlines for the different stories (although they all need better titles). Currently, I was considering them being a published exclusive, but I might still post abridged version on here, especially as I work through my ideas. So for 2025, in addition to getting Sacrifice further on it's own publish journey, i want to complete all the outlines and notes, solidify the characters, etc - everything i need to start writing these stories.

Longer stories: I still want to work on planning them out and making a decision on one to start posting next, like with Dale, but I don't think that actually posting anything longer like that will happen in 2025 (see everything else i want to do above lol). Still, getting organized is important and i'm looking forward to fleshing them all out and knowing which one i'll be diving into next.

So lots of stuff i want to get into and multiple things I want to try to finish off lol Definitely overly ambitious, but its getting me excited to get to writing.

As always, my day job is extremely busy January - April and this year is no exception so new stories until that time passes.

Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories! I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2025!

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

You know what?

You know analog horror right? Like The Backroom, The Mandala Catalogue, Angel Hare, Arcadia, and The Walten Files?

I would like there to be an Octonauts Analog Horror.

In the 80s/90s/early 2000s, the US Government decides to make a secret experiments to use human test subjects and turns them into animals to use them in organizations where it is impossible for humans to be.

For some test subjects, they’re willingly members of the government. But for the others, not so much…

For example: A young kid who dreams of becoming a doctor is kidnapped and experimented on, turning him into a penguin.

Ok, this is a long shot but it’s a cool idea and I want to see it.

did end up making some sketches further down the post

Honestly I had thought of something similar! Just uh, without the existanxe of humanity and all XD (sorry I took 98 years to respond btw)

Although the idea is very fascinating, id personally need some sort of driving force for the Why. Id understand changing human DNA to be more adaptable to those environments instead of making robots, but a more intense transformation (like a human being to an avian animal) would be alooott more difficult

I am familiar with analog horror however and its a pretty cool medium!

Personally,I'm working on my oil rig comic, but I'm hoping afterwards I can work on my next one. Alot of the ideas on it are all still pretty rough but I'm personally a cryptid creature fan :> so I actually had some ideas for a sort of "horror" scenario (its really more comedic lol, at least to me)

As for an ACTUAL horror au I did consider something similar to that one roblox game I've heard about, "Pressure" i think?

The idea of that game is basically like secret underwater SCP foundation but evil with an abandoned base lol. So thus hypothetical au would actually be inspired by that! Things like cryptid creatures, the "remains" of abandoned experiments, and etc lurking within this secret water zone only for the octonauts to stumble onto lol

I'm very nitpicky about my own worldbuilding personally, but honestly you've got a pretty strong, interesting, and compelling base to this au!

And honestly I think a lot of people would be interested in you making some stuff for it! Might even inspire some folks to make art for it :3 of course, you ain't even gotta draw amazing to make aus btw :>

You can use text (like analog horror style), writing, mini simple comics, lore posts, and even include real life images of the deep sea and etc to like? Add an aesthetic with different fonts of text and etc! There's tons of possibilities.

Also if u do choose to make art, even if you're "not an artist" don't be afraid to make "bad art" ! Every artist starts somewhere after all ^v^

Your au definitely needs some expansion, so I definitely recommend deciding what scenes or events or emotional sentiments you NEED (sketched some ideas:

click for higher quality^

I thought maybe pesos father could have worked for this organization? Been forced to work for them? Maybe it was blackmail or some deal made by adults that put peso in the situation he was in? Does he feel betrayed by his dad? I dont know but I'm thats where my brain went lol enjoy

And then work on WHY and how? Like how did he get there? Why did they specifically choose him? How does he meet the others? Were they taken as children as well? Did any choose this path? Wouldn't peso not be happy with this? Wouldn't peso want to share this violation of self with the world? Was he tricked into silence or forced into it? Does he think its really for the better that he's become what he is? Things like that!

Good luck fr <3

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

I'm very curious what do you think about these for Meronia:

1. How did they meet and what were their first impressions of each other?

28. What's a conversation they'd get overly invested in that nobody else would care about?

30. What's something one thinks the other should improve upon?

Hiii thank you for the questions!!!! :3

1- How did they meet and what were their first impressions of each other? In my mind Mello was already at Wammy's House when Near got there around age like… 7-8? Idk if the Wammy's staff would have formally introduced new children to their peers or just been like, "yo dropping this kid into their new enclosure, whatever bye", but either way:

Mello's first impression of Near was basically "huh, weird kid! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and then forgot all about him... until Near started outdoing him in every single subject ever except sports.

Near's first impression of Mello I could see go two ways: "who is this insanely charismatic sun-haired angel, I am having my first ever crush" OR "who is this loud agitated bastard, can't he be quiet and still, I'm sad about my family and trying to think". Either works for me dhgdsf.

28- What's a conversation they'd get overly invested in that nobody else would care about?

In the post-canon "Mello lives and they work together as L" AU that my brain seems bent on conjuring today: one time during a particularly slow/unbusy few weeks, they get really into figuring out the perfect font, kerning, line spacing, etc for optimised legibility of work documents. It gets to the point they're like, essentially collaborating on this, but ALSO having heated disagreements, printing out a bunch of test sheets for comparison, etc, culminating in one time when they take it to their staff... who are all like "uhhhh, who cares as long as we can read the stuff, what are you two getting so worked up about ?_?" and they are both so mad that nobody else cares. (They are just not getting enough enrichment in their enclosure, doctor idleness will KILL the patients they need fresh interesting thinking material to live)

In actual canon, I think that's more likely to happen at Wammy's House, due to the degree of focus the Kira case required from both of them + the fact they didn't really have any kind of regular contact after Mello left the orphanage. Probably some obscure area of science both of them happened to get really into at the same time, and couldn't find anybody else on their level to discuss with (I am unfortunately not enough of a science/maths person to have any idea what the exact topic could be lol)

30- What's something one thinks the other should improve upon? This one is really hard for me because in my mind they accept each other fully as they are and would not change anything about the other, even if/when it pisses them off <3 but trying to actually answer the question,

Mello prooobably thinks Near's emotional regulation skills could use some improvement? This is brought to you by a post I saw recently (unfortunately cannot find the post nor remember who made it) about how Mello is used to living life at an emotional intensity level of 85, so he's good at handling his emotions in general despite the occasional impulsive behaviour; whereas Near very infrequently going from his average of 0.3 emotional intensity to 60 is Much Harder for Near to cope with. And I think in the context of a romantic relationship between them, that skill imbalance could cause some friction / Mello definitely would want Near to get Better at it dfsfd

The other way around... welp. I have been rotating this in my mind for a literal ten minutes and cannot envision a single thing that Near would seriously believe (as opposed to off-handedly think and forget about 10 seconds later) Mello should do better. He thinks Mello is great exactly the way he is. Because who is Near if not the original Mello stan and apologist <3

[character relationship headcanons ask game]

[ecosyncrasy]

I've been watching a lot of longer form content today about studying in preparation for my university prep courses. I've attempted going for a degree many times over across a variety of different subjects and always ran out of steam halfway through the first year. I used to laugh off explaining this to people as me simply being a bad fit for academia and that I was content simply 'knowing a little about a lot'.

However, now in my thirties – making the choice to go back there was something in this video I was watching about study habits that made it click why this time is actually different. Why I feel so strongly that this time I have a chance.

I made so many excuses during my twenties about why I was simply okay with how things ended up because I had internalized that I was completely powerless to change things. I was disassociating so hard the fact that I found myself in a long term abusive relationship where I was isolated from all my family and irl friends. (and the ones I had online had NO idea what I was going through offline because subconsciously I was so embarrassed to even talk about it or admit I was struggling with anything). I had nothing but a job that I was killing myself to excel at because “lol gifted kid burnout is just like that”. There wasn't any possibility of me being on the spectrum or having ADHD because my parents said those are simply not real or excuses. After all, I was making honours lists and was getting 90s up until the family unit started to fall apart (Grade 11).

Yet even in the final months of high school – I had no idea what I wanted to do. I only knew that my parents expected me to go to university. In fact my whole life up to that moment the entire family was gearing up to brag about all the degrees I was just BOUND to get – while being entirely divorced from my academic life. (My father and extended family only cared about achievements. My mother was stressed from being in a shitty marriage and assumed I didn't need any help because my younger brother was struggling so much with even the academic basics.) That by the time I needed to apply I just picked my top subject (English Literature), and picked schools based on where my high school friends were going. Especially since my parents officially separated (messily) the summer before (Hi shitty summer of 2009) I was due to go to uni, in retrospect I was already in a tailspin. I was just clinging onto anything remotely familiar.

I wish so badly that I had someone then to shake me and tell me not to rush off into university on whims that were not my own.

Predictably. I spent the most of that year in a depressive state. I barely attended classes. Spent most of my time in bed. I crashed and burned horrifically, and ended up having my final conversation with my father around this time who's only support was calling me an 'idiot' when I told him I was depressed and considering dropping out.

My subsequent attempts at different things in an online university setting from 20-25 ... were not much better. I ran away from my family situation after the loss of my grandmother who had pretty much raised me when my parents were both consumed with work. Into the arms of a much older guy who definitely never deserved my time. Then all my attempts at school were in hindsight more running away but I was flailing. Picking anything that sounded interesting. Trying to discover who I was in an environment that was not suited to discover ANYTHING. Devouring and excelling in the first half of the classes but not having the confidence to even attempt any sort of exams or meaningful evaluation. Because god – having any sort of needs or support isn't how I get people to love me. If I couldn't do it 100000% by myself – it wasn't worth doing.

And in the end I wasn't chasing a passion. I didn't really see myself in any of those positions. I wasn't allowing myself to go after anything I really wanted because – that doesn't pay the bills. How could I let myself go into debt if I didn't stand a chance of making it back right out of school. I was still basing every choice I was making based on what others wanted out of me (prestige, money, etc).

I didn't, as this video so aptly put – I didn't have the end goal in mind. I was only thinking of the next day – maybe the next month.

I'm in a much better place now. A better relationship that has allowed me space and room to grow. To challenge my old ways of thinking. I'm in a place and have a good relationship with my mother that I am starting (still struggling) to work on being myself. Getting in touch with the things I love. I stumbled into a job (working at a commercial pet store of all things) that rekindled a passion from childhood that's given me a drive I haven't had before.

All these things, coupled with the fact that I've been watching my life pass by in the most unfulfilling way has unlocked memories of begging to go on walks down forest trails. Crying over and hugging trees as a kindergartner that were marked to be cut down to make room for parking. Mourning the loss of a property out in the wilderness for one closer to the city. Leading a gaggle of first graders to make pseudo-science observations of local birds during recess. Devouring hours and hours of nature documentaries wanting to be the ones doing that for a job (but thought I wasn't smart enough or that it was somehow beyond my reach). Craving nature based spirituality. A life long passion for animal welfare, rescue and rights that I buried in a professional sense after I found out that veterinary medicine would have killed me.

Something has clicked this time and it has filled me with such a thirst for success that hasn't existed for me before.

For me the answer is now clear. It's always been Biology. Ecology. Conservation. Fighting for the rights of people and the planet. Every career quiz I've ever taken has told me I craved a calling that would serve a higher purpose. That could help people and be a force of change in the world. More and more as I look down the gun of what is going to be a great challenge, more things unlock in my mind telling me that I am suited for this. This is my purpose – and it feels right. It just took me three decades to understand and feel confident about that understanding.

Even now, I can't remember the last time I've sat down and reflected about any of this. It's the first time I've felt compelled to write about my experiences in a raw and unflinching way. I think that says something.

For the first time I crave the struggle to make my life better. And now pathways are opening up as I discover myself and I'm so excited for the future.

[reikamasama]

Heya!! I've noticed you've had your reqs open for a while now, so I hope you don't mind writing my idea for me!! Lol

Soo.. could I get some general hcs for the hazbin hotel cast (whomever and however many you feel like doing) with a Cerberus!reader? Preferably sticking to a more platonic theme

No pressure, ofc!!

Thank you for the request when! I’m not to educated on Cerberus but i tried my best to make some general head canons for the main hazbin crew although its not proofread i hope its to your liking !!

Alastor

Cerberus!reader grabbed Alastor’s attention right as they joined the hotel, the concept of having 3 heads with all different emotions and feelings was odd to him. He had many questions but the gentleman he was, was not going to stress you with so many question’s until he got closer to you. As he decides to build up his relationship with you he would drop questions here and there — this way he learns more about you.

When he gets to know you, he would grow to enjoy asking your opinion on things, three opinions will always be better than one! (Unless it hurts his ego somehow, but that was a rare occasion)

He would cook a lot of food and use you as the taste subject. He makes you sit in the kitchen as you watch his process listening to some jazz while having a chit-chat with him is a weekly routine at this point and he’d be confused if you weren’t in the kitchen by Sunday afternoons to try his cooking. He will ask you multiple times if you would want human meat in your food, if you refuse he will defeatedly accept the loss — but he won’t stop asking you just because you said no (and if you say yes he will happily purchase the best kind of meats he knows and sometimes bring you along to purchase them! You also get introduced to Rosie this way)

Since Alastor has taken a liking to you he would randomly pat your heads as well as purchase gifts for the three of you. He made sure they were always tailored to your liking.  He would also ask you to join him on his walks sometimes, and if anybody made you uncomfortable he would reassure you that you’re safe with him.

“So, what do you think?” 

He stands in front of you expectantly, as your tastebuds get filled with a tasty dish you’ve never tried before, you are not quite sure what kind of dish it is — you only that it’s some kind of steak. You take a long second really thinking before the three of you in sync say;

“This is spicy.. is it supposed to be like that?”

“I’d like to have some more flavor just simple things like salt and pepper would do well!

“I like it, it’s perfect!”

The three of you glance at each other and then at Alastor who stands there with a slightly concerned grin.

“Uh huh you don’t say.”

And after that he made sure to tailor the food to the each of you! He thinks of it like a puzzle in some sort of a way, if the three of you are satisfied then he finished it 

Husker

At first husker didn’t really care for Cerberus!reader, they were probably gonna be like any sinner anyway, someone trying to be better — only to drink their sorrows away.

When he realizes that none of you drink alcohol he changes his opinions on the three of you!(if you do drink alcohol… Nuh uh :3) He tries to actually entertain you whenever you enlighten him with random visit at the bar, chatting about topics the three of you’ve been thinking about lately. 

He would definitely grow a bit protective of you and would use nicknames like kid, champ, bud to address you and would give you thumbs ups to quietly show you he’s proud of you.

He would allow you to touch his ears and his tail if you’re curious about them, and in return he gets permission to pat your head whenever he pleases.

He would show you multiple card tricks and would always wear a smug expression on his face whenever he saw the three heads getting fascinated with his simple tricks — that definite made him more confident as you praised his tricks!

His deck quickly mixes together with the flick of a wrist, you watch in amusement as the cards go back and forward in a very mesmerizing pattern. Husk clears his throat before he starts;

“And now, watch as the cards mix..”

The three of you have your eyes fixated on the cards spinning round and round. Until he stops and then spreads it out in a half circle before picking up a card making sure its back is facing you. The three look at you in anticipation waiting for him to show the card she chose.

“Was this your cards?”

He flips the cards and show them to you; two of you look in excitement as he shows them their cards they had chosen earlier, they bombard husk with questions but then the third head speaks up;

“Wait, those are only two cards! Where’s mine?”

Husks chuckles before he grabs something from the back of the third heads ear,

“Oh sorry! Forgot i left the card here!”

Niffty 

Niffty takes a quick liking to you, and as soon as she gets a moment alone with you she will show you her bug collection and give you a bug that in her words “matches your fur and compliments all of the eyes you have”. 

She would sew you some small accessories.. yes they might have had sticks and bugs used in the materials but it’s the thought that counts! Besides it doesn’t even look bad, she would normally place them behind your ears or somewhere on your head. 

If you can’t find niffty? Expect her to be messing with one of your heads, she loves to climb up on them and just sit there, following you in your daily life as you’re out and about. (She is an automatic free-escape pass from Valentin[hoe]!)

“I was thinking!! What if you join me for cleaning duty tomorrow! I’ll even pay you… three queen roaches!”

She says this with starts in her eyes as if it’s the best offer she could ever give you, and who are you to say no? You can easily spot dirt and dust with the help of your other heads and you can help Niffty reach tight spots

“Why not!”

Charlie

When Cerberus!Reader first joined the hotel she was very chipper just like she is with any other guest, but the fact that you had a very intimating look but still acted better than half of the sinners inside the hotel was something she was extra excited about!

She bombards you with questions and asks a lot about how the three-head thing works, did she need to fix the room so it fitted all of your standards? If you all ate same food or not? When you guys decide outfits, do to often disagree with what your going to wear. Etc.

Would try to have therapy sessions with you! I believe one of your heads would be.. not so pleased with this whilst another one would vent their heart out. (Also Charlie would definitely try having karaoke sessions with all of you and would adore the way the three of you are able to harmonize even if you don’t always get along)

Her pen taps along a board before she looks at the three of you;

“So you have a problem getting along.. mm have you tried telling each other why you are annoyed?”

“Well these loudmouths are nothing but trouble! They can’t keep their mouth shut even if the world was ending!

“Wha— says you! It’s not my time you keep being a buzzkill”

“You both are annoying! Just shut the fuck up before i start fighting yall.”

After that the bickering grows and Charlie has to step in to help calm the three of you down.

Vaggie

When Cerberus! Reader joins the hotel Vaggie is very cautious, three heads— three problems! She will keep her distance and give you some glances but never actively act rude towards you since you haven’t actually bothered her. 

If you give her time to get used to you and get to know you she will grow to trust you more and more, and she would give you words of advice when your not sure on what to do to show her appreciation towards you. But when the three of you argue with each other she will give all of you a bonk on the head.

Would train the three of you to become better fighters and when you fight against heaven you’re a real pro, she’s very proud of you even if she dosent show it to well!

Her angelic sphere pointed to one of your three necks as you lay on the ground defenceless; she has just beaten you guys in a fight once again, 

“If you guys were better at working with this body, maybe we’d win?”

One of the heads scoff

“Pff, as if! If you would follow my lead? It would’ve been as easy as pie!”

“We havnt even baked before how could you say it’s as easy as pie..”

Vaggie sighs as the bonks each of your heads talking about how the three of you needs to learn on how to get along.

Angel dust

When Cerberus!Reader joins the hotel he will quickly point out the uneven fur and would quickly take the role as a ‘big brother’  to the reader. He would bully the three of you multiple times but only in a friendly teasing way.

He would have sleepovers with you, he enjoyed gossiping with the three of you as he would give you a ‘makeover’ mostly by brushing your fur and giving one of your faces makeup as he would recommend you shampoos and conditioners to keep your fur looking more fresh.

Would ask your opinions on outfits even if they are revealing, since he is like a brother to you it’s not that strange. He would most definitely not throw any sexual comments towards you and if anybody else does so, they get a beating.

Will randomly come into your room to check up on you,( and borrow some of your clothes) he most definitely steals a lot of your stuff and whenever you have a sleepover he would just put it of as if it was nothing. Will also multiple times tell you not to drink and go down the path he went.

“Ow! Be careful you dunce!”

One of your heads mutter as angel dust tries to brush through your matted fur struggling with every brush stroke he makes.

“Well maybe if you’d be more careful i wouldn’t have to fix it so damn often!”

It all comes from a place of love though!

Sir pentious 

When Cerberus!Reader join the hotel, Sir pentious gets a good feeling about having you around right away, your demon form has three heads and he is very snake — like with makes him feel less out-of-place with the rest of the crew.

If you joined around when he joined he never made any plans to kill you with his weapons (in episode 3) instead he would order angelic weapons from Carmilla and then try to teach the three of you how you could make weapons! As long as one of you learn the most simple of things he will feel super achieved and want to teach you more and more things as you slowly get better and better. 

Would make weapons for you and give you a tour in his evil lair (/his ship). 

His egg boys would absolutely adore you and frank would normally hang around the three of you the most, even calling you boss in front of Pentious — he woudnt even mind!

“Sso you ssee, if you take these parts together.. and then place them like that.. it will create a blasst-gun, but if you move thiss piece it will create a bomb weapon, do you get it?”

“Yeah not to hard to remember”

“Uhm.. wich piece did you move again?”

“Nope no! I’m completely lost right now!”

[xomakara]

The Highlights of Romance

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Chapter length - 2,060 words A/N - Ya'll thought I forgot about this, huh? I didn't lolol. I was in the process of writing this and then I had other WIPs going as well lol. I should have another chapter coming up soon.

I'm still wondering my series chapters are shorter lolol.

Chapter 006 - Teasing

"So Y/N..." Johnny muttered one day as you met up for breakfast with him, Renjun and Yangyang in the apartment's cafeteria. Mark declined on breakfast, saying that he was too busy with this new project that he was working on. "Mark?"

"Uh huh..." You nodded, looking down at your breakfast. "What about him?"

"Are you dating Mark?" Renjun asked curiously. "Have you-"

"We're just going on dates." You shook your head. "And no, we have not fucked yet."

"Why not?" Yangyang gasped. "You guys seem like a perfect match!"

"Uh…I don't know." You shrugged. "Maybe I'm afraid to lose myself in him."

"Do you really think you could fall in love with Mark?" Johnny asked cautiously.

"No, not at all." You scoffed. "Just taking things slow."

"Wait, wait…" Yangyang interrupted you. "Hold on. Slow? How do you define 'slow'? One date every week?"

"Well, actually..." You chuckled lightly. "Two dates per week."

"Come on Y/N!" Renjun sighed, waving his hand. "This is ridiculous. Two dates a week? Seriously?"

"Shut up Renjun." You rolled your eyes. "Anyway, it's only been a few weeks. I mean, that's nothing considering how long I've been single."

"And yet you're happy?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Happy as a clam." You replied.

Yangyang looked over at Renjun who was nodding his head in agreement.

"I see." Renjun said slowly. "Then I hope that this doesn't change between you and Mark. Ever since you decided on Mark, the three of us has decided its probably better to be friends and help cheer you and Mark on."

The other men clearly complained that you were playing favorites when you told them that you and Mark would be going on dates. Johnny had heaved a heavy sighed, running a hand through his hair before giving you a hug and saying that he wished you all the best since Mark definitely needed to get laid. Both Renjun and Yangyang, slightly disappointed that they were booted off the running list, was cheering you on. You had established a comradery with the three men, the three allying themselves to beat up Mark if he ever hurt you.

You doubt it would happen since Mark was the sweetest guy. But you were happy to have new friends like them.

"Thank you." You nodded gratefully. "We haven't known each other that long but you guys are great. I wish everyone were like you guys."

"Now enough about that." Johnny waved his hand. "How's your novel coming along? You getting any inspirations from your dates with Mark?"

"Err…yeah." You shook your head. "A lot actually."

"What kind of inspirations?" Yangyang asked curiously.

"Well…" You chewed on your lip nervously. "He makes me feel different."

"Different how?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Good different." You shrugged. "Everything feels different when I'm with him. Like everything else falls away and all I focus on is him."

"That sounds great." Johnny grinned widely. "Is he good in bed too?"

"Did you forget the part where I said we haven't fucked yet?" You rolled your eyes. Renjun and Yangyang burst out laughing while Johnny simply held up his hands in defense. "Mark’s playing hard to get."

"Look at the bright side, Y/N." Renjun chuckled. "Once you two fuck, everything is gonna become clear. Because right now you're lost."

"Thanks." You gave him a weak smile. "Now back to the subject at hand."

"Alrighty then." Yangyang smiled happily. "Well I suggest you continue writing. Write as much as you can whenever you can. Maybe Mark would give you more ideas on how to spice up your book."

"True." You nodded. "Thank you."

"Hey guys." Mark called out, startling you.

You jumped slightly, catching a glimpse of Mark holding two cups of coffee and a plate of waffles. He glanced at you with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry." He chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to scare you. I actually had some time to get breakfast."

"No problem." You smiled warmly. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." Mark took a seat next to you.

"Well…" You fidgeted with your fingers. "Since we’ve been going on these dates, my inspiration seems to be flowing in abundance. What do you think is causing it?"

"My charm." Mark shrugged casually.

You narrowed your eyes. "No way."

"Of course." Mark laughed. "I have plenty of charms that would bring forth ideas. You have been writing a lot lately. My charm has definitely played a part in that."

"I'm starting to notice." You nodded slowly.

"And then there's my voice." He continued. "The deep sexy tone that sends shivers down your spine."

"Okay." You mumbled.

"There's also my personality." He added. "The way I smile when I'm happy, the smirk on my lips when I'm in deep thought…"

"Just hurry up and fuck already, you two." Johnny chortled. "Your flirting is hurting my eyes."

"You jealous bro?" Mark teased. "Don't worry, your turn will come too."

"Hahaha." Johnny laughed. "Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you real hard."

"Ooh! Now that is the mark of true friendship." You chuckled.

"Oh, yeah." Mark suddenly clapped his hands together, causing everyone to look at him. "What are you doing tomorrow night? Writing or being a lazy fart?"

"Uhm…" You bit your lip. "Writing actually."

"Excellent!" Mark declared. "Come over to my place around eight o'clock. I'm sure I can come up with a few story ideas that will make your fingers bleed from writing so fast."

"Great." You nodded, raising an eyebrow. "So what kind of story ideas?"

"A sexy superhero tale of romance." He smiled wickedly. "You in a black leather catsuit with spiky armor?"

"You wish." You snorted. “Although that does sound pretty sexy…”

"Ha ha." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'll be waiting for you then."

"Sounds great." You smiled.

"See ya then." Mark waved as he stood up, placing his cup of coffee and the plate of waffles on the table. "Bye Y/N."

"Bye Mark." You waved back.

“Y’all gonna fuck.” Johnny laughed from his seat once Mark was out of earshot. You nearly forgot he was there.

“Mmmhmmm.” Renjun agreed. “They’re going to fuck. Mark’s gonna fuck.”

“They won’t stay friends after this.” Yangyang predicted.

“Nope.” Johnny nodded his head. “Not after Mark fucks her. There’s nothing more for him than to stick his dick in her and send her back home so she can go back to writing porn.”

“Lord. Why am I friends with you guys?” You muttered, burying your face in your hands.

You groaned inwardly. For the past hour you sat in front of your laptop screen, trying to write but having absolutely zero luck whatsoever. The spark of inspiration was completely gone. The idea of having sex with Mark made your imagination run wild but once you tried to write down your thoughts into sentences, the words failed to flow. All you ended up with were meaningless nonsense. You kept re-reading your last paragraph, trying to see if there was anything wrong with it. But for the life of you, you couldn't understand why you couldn't write anything decent. This wasn't the first time you found yourself in this situation but it was becoming increasingly frustrating. Your excitement for writing seemed to disappear as you stared blankly at your screen. You didn't even know where to start anymore. So you closed your laptop and went to take a shower. Maybe you should try again later when you were feeling less distracted. Or maybe sleep. That always helped.

With that, you walked to the bedroom, stripping off your clothes as you headed to the bathroom. After you shut the door behind you, you started up the shower, letting the water flow over your body. Once you felt clean, you turned the water off, wrapping a towel around yourself before walking towards the closet. Your mind wandered aimlessly as you picked out your clothes for the day. Black pants and a red shirt that made you look a bit more feminine than usual. A white undershirt completed the outfit and a pair of flats finished off your ensemble.

Once you were dressed, you grabbed your phone and wallet, leaving your unit and making your way to Mark's unit across the hall.

You arrived a little earlier than you planned. Luckily, Mark hadn't locked the door yet so you easily slipped inside without difficulty. Your eyes swept across the room until they rested on the man sitting on the couch. You didn't need to see him close up to recognize him as Mark. It was written all over his handsome face.

You smiled softly, tiptoeing towards the couch.

He was engrossed in a game, completely oblivious to your presence. With a simple gesture, you placed your hands gently on either side of his face, bringing his gaze up to meet yours. Mark blinked rapidly, blushing furiously when he finally realized that you were standing inches away from him.

"Hi Mark." You whispered quietly.

"Hey Y/N." Mark grinned shyly, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Thought you almost forgot our meet-up."

"Mmhmm." You nodded, biting your lower lip. You let out a laugh. "I almost did forget."

"What am I going to do with you?" Mark hummed as you sat next to him on the couch. "How's the writing sesh?"

"Horrible." You answered immediately. "None of the words want to come out. It's just I'm having trouble thinking straight right now."

"Maybe you should take a break." Mark suggested. "Take a breather, gather your thoughts and try again."

"Hmm…maybe." You tilted your head to the side. "Why don't you distract me instead? Just say something to get my attention. Something really sexy that'll make me lose my train of thought."

Mark bit his bottom lip, contemplating whether or not he could pull it off. The problem was that he didn't want to disappoint you. You were older than him by four years and way more experienced when it came to sex. You practically knew all the tricks.

It took a moment for Mark to summon up the courage to speak up.

"I don't think-"

"Say it." You cut him off, cutting his sentence short. "Or else I might find myself using my evil plan B."

"B, what?" Mark stammered.

"B. Bedroom." You leaned forward, pressing your chest against his.

"I thought we agreed on no sex." Mark frowned. "Just dates."

"Then hurry up and say it. Now." You insisted. "I need you to distract me."

Mark sighed, giving in. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he simply pressed his lips firmly against yours, drawing a sharp gasp from your lungs. His lips tasted faintly of coffee and it made you wonder what he was drinking. Then again, it could be just a natural taste that existed due to proximity. You ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of its silky strands brushing against your skin. Mark slowly parted his lips, allowing you to deepen the kiss further. He moaned lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You melted against him, opening your legs to allow him better access.

"Damn it." Mark grunted. "This is way harder than I expected."

"Are you done?" You asked teasingly. "Because if you keep kissing me like that I'm going to have great stories to tell the guys. Trust me. They'll love it."

"God damn it." Mark cursed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Wasn't this distracting enough?"

"Yes." You laughed, leaning your head against his shoulder. "If you promise to kiss me like that again, then I'll refrain from banging you right here and now."

"Deal." Mark smiled cheekily. "But only if you promise to write one of those sexy superhero stories about us."

"Deal." You chuckled.

"Now come on, get off me." Mark laughed, trying to push you off his lap.

You allowed yourself to be pushed off and got up from the couch, giggling as you placed your hands on his cheeks, bringing them up to press a kiss on his lips. "I'm still going to tell the guys that you kissed me. And it'll be a hell of a story."

"Alright." Mark chuckled. "Let's just hope that you can write something worth reading. No cheating, okay?"

"No cheating." You giggled. "Promise."

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

[babyrdie]

why are you always putting disclaimers like "it's just my interpretation" or "I do not know everything about things" on things? Not complaining just curious. I don't see that much around here

[⭐]

Because if you sound confident enough, people will trust that you're right about everything you say. Because if you just state it, people will believe that your interpretation is the only one possible. I say this from experience, how many times have I seen this happen? In fact, I've even had people do it to me before (take something I said as definitive). And yeah, I don't like it.

It's nice when people agree with me, of course it is, but I want people to see what I post as possible interpretations and not as guides on how to interact with a piece of literature. Like something I said? Take it for yourself, make it part of your own interpretation. Disagree with that detail, though? Well, take the rest, ignore that detail. I don't mind, I do the same with other people. Do you have a question about something I said? Ask me, we can talk and I can explain my point of view better and, even if it isn't your preferred one, we will understand each other. That's how we share.

And I think that, when it comes to details that require prior knowledge (for example, when I use Greek or Latin text and make it clear that I """translated""" with an automatic translator and by checking dictionaries and articles and therefore it isn't confiable), I need to acknowledge my ignorance so that whoever reads it knows that I'm ignorant and won't use me as some kind of authority. Because I am not.

I've met people who sometimes feel intimidated with those who post long analyses, as if because we do that we know more than others. But this type of post is just a way of interacting and sharing thoughts, it's not that different from someone who posts fanart in my opinion. This is still a person who is getting involved as a hobby and who has the same authority on the subject as everyone else. In a fanart, you communicated your thoughts about the scene, about the character, about how you see it. In my analysis, I did the same. It's not that different. And I say this as someone who draws too!

I have a history (note that I'm talking about Brazilian fandoms here. Tumblr mythology side is the first international fandom that I've interacted with with any consistency) of being interpreted as "authoritative" or "serious" because, even in my native language, I write in a way that sounds formal. You know that thing about how language changes the context? Well. People would read what I said and interpret it as me being super serious, confident and knowledgeable… and I was, like, 14 years old? Because yes, when I was 14 I already had people on the internet assuming that I was 22 years old simply because of the way I write lol (note that it's the way I write, not the way I think. In fact, I definitely think that if they focused more on what I said than how I said it, they would have noticed that those were thoughts that were too immature for an adult). In communication, how people see you affects how they take the message. If people think you know everything just because you don't sound insecure while talking, they'll never tell you anything because they'll always assume that whatever they think is uninteresting to you (again, personal experience…it happens in my real life too). I kind of tried to solve the problem by making my insecurity clear? I thought that if I was as clear as possible, I would avoid this.

This is also why I try to explain where I got an idea from (whether primary or secondary source), so that anyone interested can do their own research and have their own interpretations instead of having to rely on me alone because they don't know how to start.

[ryuichirou]

Hi! You guys have converted me to the Kalijami ship. Your headcannons have been great and I've been enjoying them a lot. I'm glad you agree with shipping bottom!Jamil with Kalim. Most fics have it the other way around which is fine but I mostly want content with the opposite. Thank you for the food 🤭👍

I kinda wanna hear your headcannons for Time travel!Kalijami. Lately I've been reading those villainess mahnwa where they re-do their life. I think Jamil would probably regret how he went about separating himself Kalim. He literally tried to kill him, granted he was overblotting. Point is I think he'd regret taking his frustration on the Master-Servant system on Kalim. So when he gets the chance to repeat it, he takes it and makes some changes.

Plot twist: The butterfly effect proceeds to kick him in the metaphorical ass. He ends up raising/turning Kalim into a yandere for him. I think I want a more villainous take on Kalim cause I think he has the potential. This boy DID end up in NRC, papa Asim's generous donation was just a bonus. You don't have to make major changes to his personality which could make this even creepier in Jamil's perspective once he realizes. I think you can also show a more competent side to Kalim here cause I think that would be one of the first things Jamil changes. He would encourage Kalim to be more independent and sly in getting what he wants when being nice doesn't work. This new approach will backfire on Jamil hard 😉

It would be even better if Jamil doesn't realize the web Kalim has been spinning around him. It could start small, Kalim could start lowkey convincing people that the idea of Kalijami wouldn't be so bad. I think people would enjoy the forbidden romance aspect and its just like the fairytales. For Kalim's parents, he could emphasize to them how loyal and devoted Jamil is. If the subject of children come up, he can just handwave it- surrogacy or magic as a solution.

I'd like to hear your ideas on the idea. If you have any NSFW! headcannons for this too, I ain't gonna complain 🤫

Anon! Sorry for such a late reply. I feel like it’s already a given that it takes me ages to reply, but I still want to stress that I appreciate your patience and all the asks we receive.

I am very happy you like our KaliJami content and especially like bottom!Jamil lol, their dynamic is very nice like that, it works well with their power dynamic and unusual relationship. So it’s great that we could post something that you enjoy and don’t get to see often, even though we ourselves don’t post KaliJami often…

I like how well you’ve thought your idea through lol, you clearly have a vision and a story, so I wouldn’t really want to influence it with our own interpretation of the ship. Despite our love for yandere!Kalim and darker themes related to him, I guess we still tend to write him with some naiveté. Like, he isn’t totally stupid of course and he is charismatic and sometimes uses his charisma in surprisingly impressive ways, but I don’t really see Kalim as cunning, even if Jamil influences him and teaches him things. It’s not impossible to write this type of story believably, but I guess I personally have a bit of a hard time imagining it because of how we view Kalim and his inner darkness. I guess we tend to make him blunt, stubborn and spoiled, and boy oh boy how spoiled he would be if Jamil never lashed out on him and never told him about how he felt…

I’ll share a couple of thoughts, but then again, it could really differ from what you wanted to read. Sorry in advance for that.

If Jamil does this thing, he would really get a whiplash because of the butterfly effect. First of all, he would get surprised by just how much his relationship with Kalim has changed: now Kalim basically expects him to have sex with him for some reason. Are they together? When did the line dividing them disappear? And why is Kalim so pushy? (And Kalim, being even more spoiled that he already is, is super pushy)

Kalim could definitely find a way to make his family accept the fact that he and Jamil are together, so Jamil would suddenly enter the world in which everyone thinks they are a couple, even though he himself never agreed to it. It feels almost sinister, as if Kalim is doing it maliciously, which is a huge contrast to the way Kalim talks about this: being his usual sunny self. He decided for both of them, and he doesn’t listen to anything Jamil has to say. All of the arguments against their relationship that Jamil had (their status, future children, all this) are already invalid: Kalim destroyed them with his surprisingly sound and mature sounding reasoning. But Jamil just couldn’t shake off the feeling that behind this maturity and understanding hides a spoiled kid is too used to getting anything he wants and just doesn’t even register the fact that Jamil isn’t sure about this… and it’s not like he can say something about it now that everyone is congratulating and hugging them.

Ahem, well, that’s all I can. Once again, thank you for sharing and sorry for the disappointing reply, but I hope you had some fun reading it anyway.

[fishnapple]

Hello! If you're comfortable with answering ANY of these (🌱 🐦‍⬛🥀🍂 🦂 💡) in your Ask Game, I would love to know your unique take! Don't feel obligated to answer them all though. 🙈 I just LOVE and admire the aesthetic, comforting vibe, organization, & advice of your overall blog! 🥰

Hi, how you're doing?

Thank you for your message 🥰

Feel free to share your thoughts on these questions too 🐋

🌱 How do you prepare yourself before a reading?

I usually do a reading right after I wake up from sleep. It's when I'm feel the most refreshed. Before and after each reading, I drink a large gulp of water, stretch myself, move around, look out the window to relax my eyes and spaced out to empty my mind lol. In short, I make myself feel physically comfortable and active enough.

Basically this:

🐦‍⬛How do you handle challenging or negative readings?

Like how I handle a challenging or negative person, I guess? I listen and try not to judge.

One kind of challenge in a reading is when I don't feel or get anything. I feel stuck and empty. The thing is, when I actually voice it out or write it down, the fog will get clearer, like a shift in perspective. If it's still difficult to read, I will leave the reading for a while and come back later. Like when your friend is sulking and silent, you give them space and time.

🥀Have you ever experienced tarot or spiritual burnout, and how did you overcome it?

I have a period of 6 or 7 years of Tarot burnout. I barely touched it. But as my spiritual beliefs evolved and changed, I came back to Tarot and found a new inspiration and purpose for it. Nowadays, I mostly use Tarot to ask questions about the general mysteries of life instead of external, practical situations in my life. I just find Tarot works better that way for me.

I believe that burnout of any kind is a sign that shows constriction (a definition of the word constrict: make narrower, especially by encircling pressure). So the action to relieve that feeling of constriction is to widen, to expand, be it your world view, your knowledge, your interests etc.

💡 How do you come up with pick a card readings ideas?

I make a checklist of steps in a journey, each PAC topic is a step in that checklist 📋. Ideally, that's how I wanted to do it. But I'm impulsive so if I come across some interesting topics that I want to do right away, I will do the reading first and then try to slot it in the checklist. Like a series, each episode contributes to the overall plot but there will be some filler episodes.

🦂 How do you handle skepticism from others about your tarot practice?

I don't mention the subject to them anymore 😗. If the scepticism is about my ability, when I feel energetic and persuasive, I will tell them some of the predictions that have come true. I invite them to try for themselves or accept the fact that we are not for each other.

Oddly enough, I haven't really encountered much scepticism or criticism about my occult practice. People's reactions range from surprised, mildly amused, enthusiastic to becoming converted. Pretty encouraging, actually. I even read Tarot for my boss at work lol.

But I do notice some people want to practise Tarot but their environment and community aren't exactly supportive. It's difficult to try to convince or argue in this kind of situation so keeping it a secret is a way to protect it. I hope that they continue to do what they love and will find a supportive community for them.

🍂 What do you wish to see more, and less of, in the tarot sphere?

I want to see less drama in the community. Everyone has a story behind. It's interesting to hear people's different points of view but when it turns into criticism or judgement, it feels suffocating.

I do wish to see more observation posts about Tarot tho, like those of astrology observations. I think that would be a great opportunity to learn and discuss.

I hope you are always well rested and full of energy 🌌

🪷

Get to know your Tarot readet - ask game

[phyriaxi]

Another ask separate from my rq, are there any artists or other influences that have inspired your art that you'd like to share?

ohh boy, this is definitely a question I can ramble about (apologies in advance for the long text!!)

Short Answer (a list of lasting artistic influences):

Movies/animanga: How to Train Your Dragon, Avatar (not ATLA, sorry) , Evangelion, Pinch Point (by VLANCAT), Land of the Lustrous, Tower of God, CSM, Tokyo Ghoul, 86 EIGHTY-SIX

Games: Arknights, Cytus II (rip art team..), Honkai Impact 3rd, Destiny 2

artists/illustrators/animators: Shilin, Ishida Sui, yasutatsu, WOOMA, par0llel, suzumesakiii, Dino_illus, liduke, ligton1225, Curie Lu, 96yottea, many many others... I could write nearly every Arknights illustrator as well and still not be satisfied ..

Music: classical music, Ado, KIVA, Eve (the MVs..!), i think i need to stop listing things now because it'll never end

Long Answer (rambling):

when it comes to art, i am definitely inspired by other visual artists, but i am also very inspired by the world around me as well as creators of other types of media. i'm extremely lucky to have grown up in a lively, diverse city with a wonderfully creative family, so the art and music of my family and environment plays a large part in my artistic preferences!! Something I have really wanted to integrate more deeply into my art is the contrast between new and old, grungy and refined... it reflects a lot of the conflicts that make up what I consider to be "me." Also, I just really like the vibe of chaotic industrial zones and rusty metal combined with a shining city in the distance, lol.

Regarding particularly influential media: pretty much anyone who's taken a glance at my blog will know immediately that Arknights is one of my biggest influences. it's basically all i draw nowadays... whenever I'm not thinking about Responsibilities and Adult Life i'm usually thinking about either Arknights or Ado (<3).

before Arknights, I spent a long time drawing fanart and fan-characters inspired by How to Train Your Dragon. Both the visual and musical aspects of that series still have a very dear place in my heart, even if I don't engage much with the community anymore. I actually only really started drawing not-dragons about 3 or 4 years ago at this point. Something I have been thinking about a lot recently is how I can go back to drawing more creatures alongside my humanoid subjects, since it's not something I've done very much recently.

Gradually I began to find more friends in the art community, and I think I'm very influenced by those people as well! It isn't a competition, of course, but being around people who are also pushing to improve is a big motivator when I am feeling low on passion. "I want to stand together with them at the top of world one day", is how I often feel. I really want to work on a collaborative project with other artists someday as well. Trying to build my skill is partially because I want to better express my ideas, but also because I want to inspire and be inspired by other creators. :D I think my art has been evolving at a pretty good pace recently because of these motivators.. the friends and regulars (including you, burstfoot!!) that visit my blog regularly here really motivate me too!!

and lastly, I'm at a point in my life where I feel that if I can't get this art thing off the ground, I will probably have to give up on pursuing it properly soon... so it's partially desperation that is inspiring me to change and try new ways of expression as well :,]

[ thank you for the ask!! ]

[something-pithy]

Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

.

.

.

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

[hiemaldesirae]

please. I'm begging you for more crumbs about VADD!Shen Jiu and also that Roxana AU you have from that art post you did of the two.

As a VADD AND SVSSS fan, especially as a fan of the original villains— please. I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FOR MORE. I'm actually in the process of outlining a crossover with the original goods of both.

God, the Roxana one as well— please, PLEASE TELL ME SJ IS ROXIE HE'S SO ROXANA-CODED SOMEHOW. GIVE HIM BUTTERFLIES AND POISON AND— *gets knocked out*

by the way, LOVE your artstyle. scratches an itch i did not know existed in my brain. your chibis as well. they're so cute!!

oh you have no idea how long ive waited to talk about them. this mayyy get a bit long so ill leave it under the readmore.

disclaimer: i intend on finishing these fics so what im going to be talking about is inspirations and unfinished / abandoned ideas and other ideas i have for the works instead of anything relating to the plots themselves

for svadd, sj is a lot more complicated than he appears to be on the surface. im not so sure if what i have written currently is what i /want/ exactly because i know i want his character to go a certain way. the relationships between him and his modern-day friends is one meant to parallel the in-game "shen qingqiu" sj compares himself to and in much the same way, mirror the way that sy contrasts himself with sqq in canon: but instead of being condescending and viewing sqq as a one dimensional character, sj is able to appreciate his nuance while still being rightfully angry over his actions

to me, sj is supposed to be an unreliable narrator who constantly enforces his own thoughts. he tells himself over and over that he misses his home and that he wants to go back, that he absolutely needs to- but then, he turns the other way and finds himself being sucked even deeper into this different one.

i also really wanted to explore how sjs dynamic with a lot of the characters would be affected knowing that they were "based off" his real friends, but again im not very confident with how it came off lol

there was a lot of points in the story where i attempted to add in foreshadowing for the ending i want the story to take... in any case, it definitely wont go the same way as vadd, though i did toy with the idea of a "version" of sy being the main villain haha

(it might still happen for shits and giggles)

as for the roxanna au there are a lot of things ive wanted to do with this au and its good that i havent posted because it means i can keep revising til i come up with something good lol

its a liujiu au with some bingyuan / cumplane thrown into the mix (the cumplane is overwhelmingly toxic btw bingyuan is the healthy one out of the two here 😭) where yes sj is xana !!! he really just makes such a good manhwa villainess haha

i had been puzzling over what i wanted his motif to be-- after all, sj is typically associated with the simplicity and calming bamboo so the glittering butterflies wouldnt work with him- but after some deliberation i decided with using moths for him :3c still subject to change ofc but i think im happy with this as is

the story is somewhat similar to how roxanna goes but surprise sj isnt the transmigrator here! (and honestly, roxanna wouldve been sm better if xana hadnt been a transmigrator... or maybe i just think that because it was only used as a convenient plot point for her to know crucial info. sigh.)

my outline of how the roxanna au goes is basically this:

lqg fucks around and finds out

sj who has been seeing dreams of the "book" sy read knows what will happen to his family if lqg dies

etc

at the same time: sy, transmigrator, attempts to make sure his only surviving older brother lives to a long happy life and the only way he can secure this is by fucking up that hack author

also i killed off qi-ge and idk if i want him to come back. he'll be like the stereotypical dead anime mother for this au lmao

hmm and i think thats all i have to say for these aus... thanks for giving me a chance to ramble on haha ~ much appreciated !! and thank you for the compliment, im flattered!! 🥹🥹💕