#this is dean winchester we are talking about. on the ‘we hate women’ show.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i just loved that the writers were like mark of cain dean slowly becomes more and more barbaric and inhuman as he can’t control this primordial, gaping wound in the form of an already healed over scar that has been borne by the devil himself and is in fact what made him the devil and therefore will make dean long and lust after maiming and ultimately murdering people with an urge stronger than any love or passion or resolution he’s ever experienced in his life And Also He’s A Huge Misogynist

well. TO BE FAIR. you have just kind of described dean when he is normal also.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Bloody Mary | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, mentions/descriptions of parental death, implication of suicide (take care of yourselves, my loves)

Word Count: 6379

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You and Dean hadn’t talked much since the events on the plane. In fact, the two of you barely looked at each other anymore. Not out of disgust, your stomach just fluttered every time you caught a glimpse of him for reasons you couldn’t explain. You didn’t exactly like him, but you definitely didn’t hate him, either. In fact, your most recent journal drawing had been of your hand wrapped in Dean’s. You smiled at the memory.

Sam slept in the front seat while Dean drove the three of you to Toledo, Ohio. You had actually been the one to find this case. Steven Shoemaker’s eyes had bled when he died. According to his obituary, his death had been swift. He was much too young to have had a stroke or an aneurysm, and seemed to be in good health. Therefore, you concluded this was your kind of gig. 

Sam began to stir, catching your attention. You straightened in your seat as the Impala came to a halt in front of a large hospital complex. Sam’s stirring and whimpering was getting worse by the second.

Dean shook his brother. “Sam, wake up.”

He bolted straight up, confused, taking both you and Dean by surprise. After taking a second to catch his breath, he said, “I take it I was having a nightmare.”

“Yeah, another one,” Dean reminded him.

“Hey, at least I got some sleep.” Sam’s faux optimism caused you to shake your head. 

“You know, sooner or later we're gonna have to talk about this.” 

Apparently, Sam was choosing the latter. “Are we here?” he asked.

Dean was happy to drop the subject, too. “Yup. Welcome to Toledo, Ohio.”

The three of you began to approach the morgue wing of the hospital. You noticed Sam was holding the newspaper you’d circled Mr. Shoemaker’s death in. “So what do you think really happened to this guy?”

“That's what we're gonna find out. Ladies first,” you joked, holding the door to the first floor of the hospital open for the brothers. 

After making your way through the labyrinth of hallways, you found the dimly lit and vacated morgue. In the large room were two desks. One was labeled with a nameplate for Dr. D. Feiklowicz with neatly stacked packets, files, and books atop it. The other was a chaotic mess of stray papers labeled “Morgue Technician.”

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“Yeah. We're the, uh, med students,” Dean responded.

“Sorry?” the morgue tech asked.

“Oh, Doctor—” Dean gave his best shot at the name, “—Figlavitch didn't tell you? We talked to him on the phone. He— uh, we're from Ohio State. He's supposed to show us the Shoemaker corpse. It's for our paper.”

“Well, I'm sorry, he's at lunch.” The morgue tech was smug, snarky, and clearly lacked people skills.

‘No wonder they have him locked up down here,’ you thought.

Dean changed course. “Oh, well, he said, uh— oh, well, you know, it doesn't matter. You don't mind just showing us the body, do you?”

“Sorry, I can't.” The morgue tech gave a tight-lipped smile. “Doc will be back in an hour. You can wait for him if you want.”

“An hour? Ooh. We gotta be heading back to Columbus by then,” Dean tried. “Uh, look, man, this paper's like half our grade, so if you don't mind helping us out—”

“Uh, look, man,” the technician mocked, “No.”

Dean laughed a little and turned around, mumbling. “I'm gonna hit him in his face I swear.”

You took the opportunity to try a different tactic. You leaned down on the morgue technician’s desk, doing your best to take advantage of the fact that he probably has had little contact with women. “Please?” you asked innocently. “These guys are my tutors. I’m really struggling in this class, and I just—” you bit your lip, “—I really need a good grade on this paper.” You used your arms to push your breasts together. “Please?” 

You could tell you had him on the ropes. “Uh…” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from your cleavage. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, I guess I could do that for you.”

You smiled innocently. “Thank you so much.”

He began leading the three of you into an attached room to where the bodies were stored for autopsies. You turned around and winked at the boys with a smug smile. Dean rolled his eyes.

The morgue technician pulled the rack Steven Shoemaker’s corpse rested on out from the wall of stainless steel cells.

“Now the newspaper said his daughter found him. She said his eyes were bleeding,” Sam said.

The technician pulled the sheet back from over Steven’s face. “More than that. They practically liquefied.” The poor man’s eye sockets were still bloody, and they hadn’t yet been sewn shut. You could see the dried blood peeking out from under his partially-closed eyes. 

“Any sign of a struggle? Maybe somebody did it to him?” Dean suggested.

“Nope. Besides the daughter, he was all alone,” the technician answered.

“What's the official cause of death?” Sam asked.

“Ah, Doc's not sure. He's thinking massive stroke, maybe an aneurysm? Something burst up in there, that's for sure.”

‘Nope, he’s way too young and in much too good health for that to have been the cause,’ you thought, but kept the thought at bay.

“What do you mean?” you asked. You didn’t like playing dumb, but with this guy, it was necessary. 

“Intense cerebral bleeding. This guy had more blood in his skull than anyone I've ever seen,” the tech answered. Although, he was more responding to your boobs than to your face. You fought the urge to snap in front of his face and get his eyes back on target. 

“The eyes?” Sam asked. “What would cause something like that?”

“Capillaries can burst. See a lot of bloodshot eyes with stroke victims,” the morgue tech shrugged.

Dean’s tone was still aggravated with the guy. “Yeah? You ever see exploding eyeballs?”

“That's a first for me, but hey, I'm not the doctor.”

“Hey, think we could take a look at that police report? You know for, uh...our paper.”

“I'm not really supposed to show you that.” The technician looked back at you.

You suppressed the bile rising in your throat. Before you could do anything else, Dean stepped in front of you and pulled out his wallet. He shoved two twenties at him, hoping that would be enough. You could see the technician deflate, but accepted the money anyway.

Dean’s actions puzzled you. But you would be lying if you said your heart didn’t flutter at the thought of him doing it out of protectiveness of you. 

When you had finished looking over the police report, the three of you began making your way out of the building. 

“Might not be one of ours. Might just be some freak medical thing,” Sam suggested after having seen the report. 

“How many times in Dad's long and varied career has it actually been a freak medical thing and not some sign of an awful supernatural death?” Dean replied. 

“Uh, almost never.”

“Exactly.”

“Alright, let's go talk to the daughter.” Sam started picking up his pace out of the building. You were happy to see him getting his mind off Jessica and back into the job.

“Wait, Dean.” You grabbed his arm lightly before he could catch up to his brother.

He turned to face you. 

“Why’d you do that?” you asked. 

“Do what?” He furrowed his brow.

“Give the morgue tech your hard-earned poker money,” you half-smiled. 

“I just didn’t wanna watch you prostitute yourself for information,” he replied gruffly, turning away from you. 

You took offense. “Hey, I was not—”

He turned back to you and brushed a hand over his hair. “You’re right, you werent.” He paused again, and his voice came back quiet. “I just didn’t like the way he was looking at you, ‘s all.”

Your heart swelled in your chest and your cheeks began to heat up. “Thanks, by the way,” you said as you continued walking. You nudged his shoulder with yours. “You’re going soft on me, Winchester.”

***

When you arrived at the Shoemaker house, you hadn’t expected to be in the midst of the funeral gathering. If you did, you would’ve dressed more appropriately. Given this fact, you felt slightly awkward when you knocked on the door. A man let you in and pointed you toward the backyard and the two daughters of Steven Shoemaker.

The two sisters were sitting with two blonde girls near the firepit. Dean addressed the older, dark-haired girl. “You must be Donna, right?”

“Yeah,” the girl responded.

“Hi, uh, we're really sorry,” Sam lamented.

“Thank you.”

“I'm Sam, this is Dean and (Y/N). We worked with your dad.”

The girl looked at her friend before looking back at your trio. “You did?” She seemed surprised. 

“Yeah. This whole thing. I mean, a stroke…” Sam trailed off.

“I don't think she really wants to talk about this right now,” one of Donna’s pretty blonde friends spoke up. 

“It's okay. I'm okay,” she assured her friend. 

“Were there any symptoms? Dizziness? Migraines?” Dean asked.

Donna shook her head. “No.”

The younger sister, who looked to be about twelve, turned around. “That's because it wasn't a stroke.”

You were intrigued.

“Lily, don't say that,” her sister urged her.

“What do you mean?” you asked the young girl.

“I'm sorry, she's just upset,” her sister responded for her.

“No,” Lily wasn’t having it. “It happened because of me.”

Donna placed a hand on her shoulder. “Sweetie, it didn't.”

You got down on Lily’s eye level. “Why would you say that?”

“Right before he died, I said it,” she said softly.

“Said what?”

She lowered her voice even more. “Bloody Mary, three times in the bathroom mirror. She took his eyes, that's what she does.”

Donna interrupted. “That's not why Dad died. This isn't your fault.”

“I think your sister's right, Lily,” Dean broke in. “There's no way it could have been Bloody Mary. Your dad didn't say it, did he?”

Lily tried to take this in. She shook her head. 

“Exactly,” you told her. “I’m sorry, we weren’t trying to upset you. We’ll just be leaving.” You pulled the boys away from Donna’s group and went back into the house. Making sure no one saw you three, you crept upstairs to the bathroom where Mr. Shoemaker passed away. 

Sam pushed the door open, and you noticed some dried blood still on the floor. “The Bloody Mary legend. Dad ever find any evidence that it was a real thing?”

“Not that I know of,” Dean replied. He walked ahead of Sam into the bathroom. 

Sam stooped to the floor and touched the dried blood. “I mean, everywhere else all over the country, kids will play Bloody Mary, and as far as we know, nobody dies from it.”

“Yeah, but maybe it’s fine everywhere else, but not here,” you suggested.

“The place where the legend began?” Sam tried.

You shrugged as Dean opened the medicine cabinet. 

“But according to the legend, the person who says B—” you stopped yourself and noticed your reflection in the medicine cabinet’s mirror. “You know what is the one that dies. But here—”

“Shoemaker gets it instead, yeah,” Dean finished for you.

Sam rose from the floor. “Right.”

“Never heard anything like that before. Still, the guy did die right in front of the mirror, and the daughter's right. The way the legend goes, you-know-who scratches your eyes out.”

You considered Dean’s words for a moment. “It's worth checking in to.” You went to leave the bathroom when you noticed one of Donna’s pretty blonde friends approaching you.

“What are you doing up here?” she asked. 

“We— We had to go to the bathroom,” you answered, not believing yourself.

“Who are you?” the girl pressed further.

Dean stepped closer to you from behind. “Like we said downstairs, we worked with Donna's dad.”

She shook her head with scrunched eyebrows. “He was a day trader or something. He worked by himself.”

“No, I know, I meant—” 

She cut Dean off. “And all those weird questions downstairs, what was that? So you tell me what's going on, or I start screaming.”

Sam put a hand up to calm her. “Alright, alright, we think something happened to Donna's dad.”

The blonde looked at you three like you were stupid. “Yeah, a stroke.”

“I don’t think so,” you argued. “He was pretty young to be having a stroke. His eyes wouldn’t have liquified if he’d had a stroke. I think it might be something else.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. “Like what?’

“Honestly? We don't know yet. But we don't want it to happen to anyone else. That's the truth,” Sam responded.

“So, if you're gonna scream, go right ahead,” Dean snarked.

“Who are you, cops?” she asked, her brows still furrowed.

“Something like that,” you shrugged.

“I'll tell you what. Here.” Sam took a piece of paper and a pen out of his jacket pocket and wrote his phone number down. “If you think of anything, you or your friends notice anything strange, out of the ordinary, just give us a call.” He handed her the piece of paper before leading you and Dean down the hallway.

Your next stop was the public library. 

“Alright, say Bloody Mary really is haunting this town,” Dean began. “There's gonna be some sort of proof— Like a local woman who died nasty.”

“Yeah, but this is hard. The legend is unbelievably widespread with hundreds of different versions of who she actually is,” you rebutted. “One story says she's a witch, another says she's a mutilated bride, there's a lot more.”

“Okay, then, so what are we supposed to be looking for?” Dean asked you.

Sam answered. “Every version's got a few things in common. It's always a woman named Mary, and she always dies right in front of a mirror. So we've gotta search local newspapers, public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill.”

“Well, that sounds annoying,” the older brother commented. 

“No, it won't be so bad,” Sam replied, “As long as we…”

You cleared your throat, gesturing to the only two computers in the library that had “Out of Order” signs on them. 

Sam chuckled humorlessly. “I take it back. This will be very annoying.”

The three of you picked up boxes of the town’s newspapers and numerous books of Toledo’s public records and brought them back to Sam and Dean’s motel room. 

You were beginning to go cross-eyed after reading for so long. Minutes turned into hours. Dean was sitting in a chair, you were sprawled across the floor with papers and books scattered around you, and Sam eventually fell asleep.

You stood up to stretch your legs and noticed his closed eyes. “Poor fella,” you said quietly. “How’s he been sleeping?”

“How d’you think?” Dean responded, eyes never leaving his book.

You nodded. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

“Maybe we should get him to take something,” you suggested.

Dean chuckled. “He won’t do it.”

“Is it just because I’m suggesting it that you’re saying that, or do you really think he won’t take it?” you countered.

He gave you a deadpan expression. 

“You Winchesters are just about the most stubborn people I’ve ever met in my life. Including your dad,” you jested. You heard Dean chuckle a little, too.

“And I wanted to tell you,” you started, “I understand why you’d suspect me in your dad’s disappearance.”

He looked away from his book and over at you. “What do you mean?”

“What you said back in Colorado? The Wendigo case? I get it.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “You’re still on that?”

“I mean, yeah, that was just about the most heated fight we’ve had. It kinda stuck with me,” you answered honestly, looking down at your stripey-sock-covered feet. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I understand.”

A moment passed silently.

“And I, um—” you took a deep breath, “I want you to trust me.” You looked back at Dean who was studying you carefully.

The tense moment was interrupted by Sam jolting awake in his bed. “Why'd you let me fall asleep?”

“Cause I'm an awesome brother.” Dean’s attention was back on his book. “So what did you dream about?”

“Lollipops and candy canes,” the younger brother responded hazily while staring up at the ceiling.

You laughed humorlessly.

“Did you guys find anything?” Sam asked.

“Oh, besides a whole new level of frustration?” Dean responded sarcastically. “No. I've looked at everything. A few local women, a Laura and a Catherine committed suicide in front of a mirror—”

“And a giant mirror fell on a guy named Dave—” you chimed in.

“But no Mary,” Dean finished for you.

“Maybe we just haven't found it yet,” Sam tried.

“I've also been searching for strange deaths in the area, you know… eyeball bleeding, that sort of thing. There's nothing. Whatever's happening here, maybe it just ain't Mary,” Dean said.

Sam’s phone rang just as his brother finished talking. “Hello?” A look of concern crossed his face. He was trying to calm whoever it was on the other end down.

You waited until he got off the phone to bombard him with questions. “What? What happened?”

“Charlie,” he told you. “Her friend’s dead.”

***

Charlie sobbed as she relayed the story of what happened to her friend Jill. “And they found her on the bathroom floor. And her— her eyes. They were gone.”

You had met her in a park not an hour after she had called Sam.

“I'm sorry,” the latter responded.

“And she said it,” Charlie told you. “I heard her say it. But it couldn't be because of that. I'm insane, right?”

“No, you're not insane,” you said.

“Oh, god, that makes me feel so much worse.” You feared that might be the case.

Sam was honest with her. “Look. We think something's happening here. Something that can't be explained.”

“And we're gonna stop it,” Dean assured Charlie, “but we could use your help.”

You knew exactly where Dean was going with this. And thankfully, Charlie obliged. She snuck you and the boys into Jill’s room through the window. Dean and Sam gave you a boost into the second story room before throwing up Dean’s duffel bag.

“What did you tell Jill's mom?” you asked Charlie.

“Just that I needed some time alone with Jill's pictures and things,” she replied simply. “I hate lying to her.”

You heard someone closing the blinds and curtains behind you. “Trust us, this is for the greater good. Hit the lights,” Dean instructed her.

She obeyed but asked, “What are you guys looking for?”

“We'll let you know as soon as we find it,” the older brother responded.

Sam handed you a digital camera. “Hey, night vision!” You turned it on. You aimed the camera at Dean.

“Do I look like Paris Hilton?” he asked.

You rolled your eyes, suppressing an amused smile. You walked over to Jill’s closet door and began filming the mirror on it. 

“So I don't get it,” Sam began. “I mean, the first victim didn't summon Mary, and the second victim did. How's she choosing them?”

You shrugged. 

“Beats me,” Dean answered. “I want to know why Jill said it in the first place.”

“It was just a joke,” Charlie replied.

“Yeah, well somebody's gonna say it again, it's just a matter of time.”

You had made your way over to the bathroom and filmed around the mirror. You stopped when you noticed a trickle of something running from behind it. “Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?” He came over to you. 

“Look at this.” You showed him the substance oozing from behind the mirror.

Sam looked to his brother. “There's a black light in the trunk, right?” 

While Dean left to get the light, you and Sam pulled the mirror off the wall. When Dean returned, you could see a handprint and the name “Gary Bryman” illuminated by the black light. 

“Gary Bryman?” Charlie asked.

You looked up at her. “You know who that is?”

She shook her head. “No.”

You learned from Sam’s research and Charlie that Jill had killed Gary Bryman, an eight-year-old boy, in a hit and run accident. Dean then decided you needed to return to Donna’s house. When you pulled the medicine cabinet mirror off the wall, sure enough, there was another handprint and the name “Linda Shoemaker.” You learned from Donna that her mother had overdosed on sleeping pills. You had left Charlie at Donna’s house to comfort her friend after you and the boys had upset her with your questions about her mother’s death. 

You then traveled to Fort Wayne, Indiana to investigate the death of a woman named Mary Worthington. She had died the same way these victims were; bleeding from the sockets where her eyes used to be. You spoke to the detective who was the lead on her case. He believed she spent her last moments trying to expose her killer she was having an affair with. She went as far as to start spelling out the name of her killer in her own blood on the back of her mirror. She only got to the third letter of her killer’s name before passing away. It made complete sense to you that her spirit would spend its time exposing the secrets of other murderers. Mary Worthington’s body had been cremated, but the mirror she wrote on had been returned to her family. Now, you and the boys were trying to track down where that mirror had ended up. 

“Oh really?” Sam responded to the man on the phone. “Ah, that's too bad Mr. Worthington. I would have paid a lot for that mirror… Okay, well maybe next time… Alright, thanks.” He hung up.

“So?” you asked.

“So that was Mary's brother,” he informed you. “The mirror was in the family for years, until he sold it one week ago to a store called Estate Antiques. A store in Toledo.”

Dean momentarily looked away from the road to his brother. “So wherever the mirror goes, that's where Mary goes?” 

“Her spirit's definitely tied up with it somehow,” Sam responded.

“Isn't there an old superstition that says mirrors can capture spirits?” you chimed in.

“Yeah, there is. Yeah, when someone would die in a house people would cover up the mirrors so the ghost wouldn't get trapped.”

Dean connected the dots. “So Mary dies in front of a mirror, and it draws in her spirit.”

“Yeah, but how could she move through like a hundred different mirrors?” you challenged.

“I don't know, but if the mirror is the source, I say we find it and smash it.”

“Yeah, I don't know, maybe,” Sam sighed. His phone rang. “Hello?... Charlie?”

***

You and the boys picked up Charlie and brought her to the motel you were staying in. You and the Winchesters were busying yourselves with covering every reflective surface in Sam and Dean’s room with sheets, blankets, jackets; anything. Charlie’s gorgeous blonde hair was knotted and messy, her eyes were puffy from crying but remained closed, and her knees were drawn into her chest. 

Sam sat on the bed next to Charlie. “Hey, hey, it's ok. Hey, you can open up your eyes Charlie. It's okay, alright?”

She looked up slowly. 

“Now listen,” he began softly. “You're gonna stay right here on this bed, and you're not gonna look at glass, or anything else that has a reflection, okay? And as long as you do that, she cannot get you.”

“But I can't keep that up forever. I'm gonna die, aren't I?” Charlie’s voice trembled.

“No. No. Not anytime soon,” the brunet assured her. 

You sat on the floor in front of her and put a hand on her knee. “We need to know what happened, babe.”

“We were in the bathroom.” Her eyes brimmed with tears again. “Donna said it.”

“That's not what we're talking about,” Dean stated. There was something dark behind his tone. “Something happened, didn't it? In your life— .a secret— where someone got hurt. Can you tell us about it?”

The tears were flowing from her eyes now. “I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me too, you know? And one night, at his house, we got in this fight. Then I broke up with him, and he got upset, and he said he needed me and he loved me, and he said "Charlie, if you walk out that door right now, I'm gonna kill myself." And you know what I said? I said "Go ahead." And I left. How could I say that? How could I leave him like that? I just...I didn't believe him, you know? I should have.” She pulled her knees back to her chest and buried her face between them. 

You felt completely horrible for her. But there was no time for a therapy session because you and the boys were off to that Toledo antique store where Mary’s mirror was being kept.

Dean sped down the road despite the pouring rain which you deeply wanted to protest against. You remained silent anyway.

“You know, her boyfriend killing himself, that's not really Charlie's fault.” Dean broke the silence.

“You know spirits don't exactly see shades of gray, Dean. Charlie had a secret, somebody died, and that's good enough for Mary,” you told him.

“I guess,” he shrugged.

“You know, I've been thinking. It might not be enough to just smash that mirror,” Sam chimed in.

Dean turned his head to his brother. “Why, what do you mean?”

“Well, Mary's hard to pin down, right? I mean she moves around from mirror to mirror, so who's to say that she's not just gonna keep hiding in them forever? So maybe we should try to pin her down, you know, summon her to her mirror and then smash it.”

“Well, how do you know that's going to work?” Dean asked. 

Sam shook his head. “I don't; not for sure.”

“Well who's gonna summon her?” his brother’s tone got a little panicked.

“I will. She'll come after me,” Sam replied solemnly.

“You know what, that's it.” Dean pulled over to the side of the road. “This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night— it's gonna kill you. Now, listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place.”

“I don't blame you.” Sam’s voice cracked.

“Well, you shouldn't blame yourself, because there's nothing you could've done,” Dean responded sharply.

Sam tried to shake his emotion away. “I could've warned her.”

“About what? You didn't know what was gonna happen! And besides, all of this isn't a secret, I mean I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway,” Dean said.

“No you don't,” was all Sam could muster.

“I don't what?” 

“You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.”

You had been trying to stay out of it, but couldn’t hold it back anymore. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?” 

You and Dean were taken aback. “No. I don't like it. It's not gonna happen, forget it.” 

“Guys, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many more people are gonna die after that? Now we're doing this. You've got to let me do this.”

Dean gripped the steering wheel, clenched his jaw, and pulled back out onto the road. The air was heavy and tense in the car. You sat back in your chair with your arms crossed over your chest. No one spoke for the rest of the drive.

When you reached the shop, you picked the lock on the door to reveal dozens of mirrors. 

“Well, that's just great,” Dean grumbled. He pulled out the picture you’d gotten from the detective in Indiana of Mary’s body next to the mirror. “Alright, let's start looking.”

The three of you split up. You were an incredibly detail-oriented person, but even still, all of the mirrors seemed the same to you. 

“Maybe they've already sold it,” Dean called from across the room.

Your flashlight came to rest on a mirror you could swear you’d seen before. “I don't think so. C’mere, Dean.”

He came over to you and held up the photo to the mirror. And sure enough, it was a match. 

“You sure about this?” Dean asked his brother. 

Sam nodded and handed you his flashlight. Taking a deep breath, he says, “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.”

You whipped your head in the direction of a light coming through the store.

“I'll go check that out. Stay here, be careful,” Dean ordered. “Smash anything that moves.” He crawled away from you and you heard him distantly say, “Crap.”

You paid no mind to Dean as you tightened your grip on the crowbar. 

You heard a whooshing sound behind you and wheeled around. In the mirror was Mary. You sprang to action and smashed your crowbar through the dead center of it. 

You could hear a distorted version of Sam’s voice coming from behind you, but before you could aid him, your own reflection caught your attention. It wasn’t quite syncing with your movements; instead looking at you menacingly. 

Before you could move to hit it, you felt an insane pressure coming from behind your eyes, your throat constricted, and blood began to ooze down your face. 

“You can’t keep running, (Y/N),” your reflection told you. “How could you? How could you be so careless?”

The blood dripping from your eyes began to mix with your tears. You didn’t have enough breath to protest. You began to sink to the floor, the crowbar clanging to the ground.

“It’s your fault that they’re gone. Why didn’t you try harder? Why didn’t you fight to keep them alive? Why did you have to kill them? Your guilt should eat you alive. You don’t deserve another family. You know you don’t deserve to be happy again. You know your recklessness will get these boys killed, too. You are so selfish! And your brother! If you hadn’t done what you did, he would still be alive, too. You are worthless. All you bring is death and—” 

The pressure around your throat released when Dean’s crowbar went through the mirror. He barely spared you a second look before going over to his brother. 

“Sam, Sammy!” you heard from behind you. 

You clutched at your throat and began to cry. You knew Dean had turned cold once more because he heard what your reflection said.

Sam groaned in pain as you saw Dean shouldering his brother and pulling him toward the exit of the shop. 

“C’mon, (Y/N),” Sam urged you. 

You shakily stood and did your best to follow the brothers out. Your dizziness caused you to fall back down to the ground on top of shards of glass, making you yelp as they pierced your hands. 

“Help her, Dean!” you heard Sam demand. 

Dean came to your side, clearly in no hurry, and cradled you in his arms. Before he could get anymore than two steps, you noticed Mary crawling out of the frame of her original mirror. Her dark hair was matted and fell in front of her face. Her dress was tattered, and her limbs moved in an inhuman manner; cracking with every movement. You and Dean were sent flying across the floor toward Sam, and the bleeding of your eyes started again.

You looked to the mirror inches from your head. Despite your weakness, you forced yourself to grab it and turn its face toward Mary.

“You killed them!” you heard her reflection cry. “All those people! You killed them!” Mary started choking just as you had and then melted into a pool of blood on the ground. You threw the mirror you’d been holding and shattered it completely.

You dropped your head back to the floor.

“Hey Sam?” you heard Dean say.

“Yeah?”

“This has got to be like,what, six hundred years of bad luck?” the older brother joked. 

Sam chuckled weakly. You couldn’t even muster up a laugh due to the bile rising in your throat. Memories were eating away at you, and the fact that Dean had heard your reflection was only adding to your anxiety. Your breath began to quicken, but you did your best to soothe yourself.

“(Y/N).” Sam drew you out of your trance. “Can you stand?” 

You tried your best to, but couldn’t. Dean squatted down next to you. “C’mon.” He motioned for you to let him carry you. You complied. You looked up at his chiseled face. You swore he was handcrafted by the gods; perhaps Adonis himself. Your hazy mind couldn’t focus on anything aside from his beautiful green eyes. You had so much to say to him about what he’d heard. You knew he didn’t think highly of you, but your relationship had begun to get better. You didn’t want, well, you, to ruin it all now. 

“Dean, I—” you started.

He cut you off. “We’ll talk later,” he said gruffly. Despite his cold and guarded tone, he put you down gently in the back of the Impala.

You ended up falling asleep in the back of the Impala. When you next awoke, you had been tucked into your bed in the motel. Your boots had been discarded, your jacket had been removed, and your key that you kept in your jacket pocket was now on the nightstand beside you. The gesture was sweet, but your mind immediately started reeling about the conversation you needed to have with Dean. 

You checked the clock; it was ten in the morning. You were surprised how late you had slept, and figured the boys had dropped Charlie off; potentially had even left town without you. Your anxiety getting the best of you, you rushed over to their door. Dean opened it when you knocked.

“Hey,” you breathed.

“Hey,” he echoed.

“Can we talk?”

He nodded. 

You led Dean back to your room. You sat cross-legged on your bed and Dean chose the chair across from you.

“Okay, um,” you sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“Who’d you kill, (Y/N)?” came his straightforward and dry response. “Why did it say you’d get us killed, too?”

You looked down at the floor, the tears beginning to well up in your waterline. “I wanna tell you, I just—”

“Look at me.” His voice was firm.

You did.

“I need to know.”

You took a deep breath. “When I was eighteen, I was coming back home from one of my first solo hunts. My dad had sent me to take out a vampire nest on the edge of the town we were staying in. There were only three vamps there at the time. I got so excited that I had nuked them all, I didn’t account for the fact that all three of them seemed like newbies. I didn’t… register, I guess, that one or more was probably missing.” You averted his gaze, struggling to keep your voice level. “And so, I left. I went back to the house we were squatting in, and, um, one of them followed me.” Tears began to roll down your cheeks.

“Sweetheart, that’s not your—”

You shook your head. “It is. He turned them, Dean. He turned my mom and my dad. I— I had no choice. I had to—” Your sentence was cut off by a sob, but Dean understood what you meant. You wiped a hand over your face and did your best to continue your story. “I sat with their bodies for a long time after. When my brother came back and saw what I’d done, he drew his gun on me. He, um, he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t let me explain. He couldn’t shoot me, though. He… He just�� left. And then— And then, his best friend called me a few days later.” The tears came back. “He found my brother’s car.” You pressed a hand to your mouth. “And he was dead in it.” Broken sobs wracked your body once again. “It’s my fault that they’re gone, Dean, it’s my fault.”

You couldn’t bear to look at him. You knew how disgusted he must be with you. And then, you felt the bed dip beside you. Then, a hand on your arm. Then, he pulled you to his chest, and you melted into his embrace. Your cries still shook your body, but Dean’s strong arms held you together. He sat with you like that for a long time. 

You and the boys had decided to leave Toledo sooner rather than later after Sam told you what Dean had done to the cops in front of the antique store. Long after leaving Toledo, Dean broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the car.

“Hey Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret is.”

The younger Winchester sighed. “Look, you're my brother and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.”

Your eyes remained trained on Sam as he looked out the window at something you were passing by. His expression went from confused to scared to saddened, and you knew he was seeing Jessica. After all, you had no doubt your face mirrored his every time you saw your mom standing on a street corner or your dad’s bloodied body lying in your footpath. In time, you knew he would learn to live with it just as you had. 

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz

[zepskies]

Hey Zepskies! I'm a small writer but I'm starting on my ficlet about an oc x ben (soldier boy). I've read so much of your work and just think you are a very talented writer. Do you have any tips on writing ben? it can be vague and I know you're busy so I don't expect a response. :)

Hey there!

First off, welcome and thank you for reading my stories (and for that lovely compliment). 💕

As for your question, writing Soldier Boy (Ben) can be very tricky. It took me a while to fully figure out how to write the character, and I will say, it's a challenge every time I do dive back into this (loveable) asshole.

😂 That said, here are 3 main tips I have for writing his character:

1. Comparable archetypes:

When I started trying to do a character analysis of this guy, I started with who he would've likely looked up to and tried to emulate: Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, John Wayne, Indiana Jones, John Winchester, and even Dean Winchester to an extent -- the strong, stoic, man of action archetype.

AKA: The Big Swinging Dick™️ in the Room.

These men are leaders, a "man's man," show no pain, weakness, or vulnerability. (So shove those "soft" emotions down your gullet as much as humanly possible. Real men don't cry, amirite? 🙄)

But the fun thing I find about guys like this is, even though they have a hard shell, being able to pierce the armor somehow and get to the creamy center of their heart can be a very rewarding story indeed.

2. The balance of SB's personality:

Based on what we got in season 3 of The Boys, I find that Soldier Boy's personality is a delicate balance of a few key things:

Arrogant Narcissist: He's a massive ego, selfish with a conflated sense of his own importance. Especially before his capture, he's reached the pinnacle of fame. He's bought into his own hype and the backstory Vought created for him, and he assumes that everyone in his life loves him for it.

As Jensen said of his character in Supes Ain't Always Heroes (check out my review of the book here if you like):

“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)

Womanizing Misogynist: That entire scene with SB and Grace in Nicaragua tells you all you need to know about how Soldier Boy talks to, treats, and views women. 🙄 Again, he's a narcissist, so he assumes women are going to be into him because he's the world's biggest superhero, because he's handsome, because he's that guy.

The problem is, he is devastatingly handsome and impressive as a superhero. And my headcanon is he can be very charming when he wants to be. Again, using his skills as an actor and channelling that old-world debonair charm to get what he wants. (i.e. Cary Grant, etc.)

Violent and Indifferent to Collateral Damage: This is a key one, because this is part of what makes him different from Homelander. SB is not a psychopath. He doesn't necessarily enjoy hurting people. He just doesn't care about the collateral damage.

He also can't tolerate a perceived slight to his masculinity or status, like when Black Noir tried to rise up in the ranks and come into his own as a movie star. Soldier Boy, in his selfishness, saw that as Noir trying to come for his crown, in a sense, which is why he ultimately showed his mean streak through violence.

When he gets back to the U.S. after escaping Russia, he's on a warpath of vengeance against his team who sold him out, and anyone who gets in his way.

"If they have it coming," he tells Hughie.

3. Soldier Boy is both less and more than what he represents: (AKA: His insecurities)

As we know, Soldier Boy didn't really storm Normandy or fight the Nazis. He falls short of every definition of a hero. However, he's also not just a caricature of toxic masculinity.

Ben has deep-seated insecurities that he buries under all the bravado and the Soldier Boy persona. He was also emotionally abused by his father, who set exacting standards for what it meant to be a man.

It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.

He won’t be one to easily admit he’s wrong, or need help, or express emotions he deems are “soft.” He doesn’t want to look weak or demean himself, let alone be genuinely vulnerable, despite likely wanting that connection with someone.

He uses coping mechanisms like drugs to mask and dull his PTSD, but even in his heyday, I think he drugs and parties hard just to pass the time, and to mask how actually empty he is inside. He has no real love in his life, and no family. It's why he admits to Hughie that he wanted kids. Deep down, he wants a family to fill that void that fame, booze, drugs, and meaningless sex can't fill in his life.

So with all of that flawed, internal mess that is Soldier Boy, the biggest challenge I find as a romance writer is trying to keep all of these aspects of his character, while trying to show the glimmers of the humanity in Ben -- the chink in his armor showing just enough softness to the one person who's brave enough to "try" with him.

That said, I hope all of this helps! 💚

[missmarveledsblog]

A KIND OF SEX EDUCATION ( PART THREE) ( PLATONIC Cas , winchesters x reader)

SUMMARY : Cas finds onlyfans , all it not what it seems though

warning : its just pure crack and fun

Turns out even as traumatising as the last time of cas curiosities didn’t actually have too bad of out come and as much as she had hated to admit dean was right about them dating . although never in the bunker was it peaceful for too long . turns out bobby was her dad and she learned new thing about her parents no child should ever learn …ever. 

Something else was different too every night at 8 pm cas would disappear off into his room even when on hunt he would head off some where always at 8pm , of course they were curious  but after last few ordeal with the angel well the curiosity was just not enough to investigate . well until ..

“ i am in love and i think it time i brought her here” he said  completely out of the blue . 

“ you have a girlfriend good job buddy … don’t show her your internet history though” dean snorted only for y/n to slap him in back of the head. 

“ she’s real right?” sam asked needing clarifications after poor guy fell for an A.i bot . 

“ she’s very real we talk every night at 8pm . 

“ that’s great cas maybe we can go for a double date sometime “ y/n beamed more for the fact it probably the most normal interaction she had with the angel in what felt forever . 

“ i shall ask her although she said friends cost extra” he said heading off to his room as they all shared a look. 

“ who the hell is spending 500 dollars a night on …” bobby called. 

“ you go in i’m not going in , i’m always the one here for this shit” she argued as three stood out his door. 

“ oh for fuck sake  i’m moving out” she whined. 

......

“ you’re nicer though he listens to you and better than him he’ll break his heart” sam reasoned . 

“ why aren’t you in the equations” she scoffed. 

“ i don’t want to deal with it to be honest” sam huffed. 

“ how about we all go talk to him i mean plus lets see what she like she could be nice gal for all we know” dean grinned. 

“ do you like having a girlfriend” she glared . 

“ point taken you should take this one” he smiled pushing her into the room. 

“ another tip from my angel any requests” the voice called as y/n was ready to burst into tears thinking maybe wifi in the bunker was over rated.

“ hey cas i need to erm talk to you it’s urgent” . 

“ why are you're eyes covered if its urgent” she could already picture his tilted head and confused face but she was afraid just incase his little saint was out awaiting . “ i got to go my love i will come back tomorrow” he called as silence filled the room god this was going to like shooting bambi’s mother. 

“ he’s dressed sweetheart” was all dean voice said echoing down the  hall. 

“ oh thank fuck , hey buddy can we talk” she asked softly and wishing she was well anywhere else. 

“ of course it is urgent” he nodded. 

“ jesus how do i go about this?” she sighed rubbing her temples. 

“ are you pregnant? I noticed the little weight but i didn’t want to mention it” he looked down at her stomach. 

“ getting less hard , no i’m not pregnant may need to go on a diet though… nevermind cas whats your loves name?” she shook her head staying on point albeit less confident then before .

“Angel lady six nine” he beamed proudly . 

“ oh you poor sap it’s sixty nine  not the the point cas have you talk with her like in person or …” . 

“ on only fans gabriel sent me the link said it was a website for meeting exciting women and now i met my love and she makes me so happy … and it make my hands want to do the thing i see ” he smiled . 

“ well i’m glad, good chatting buddy” she backed out the room definitely not the one to be dealing with this . 

So now here sam was while dean was telling y/n she wasn’t fat.  He could do it rip the bandaid off but provide some sort of comfort maybe bring him somewhere to meet real woman that wouldn’t send them to the poor house. 

“ hey cas can we talk” he smiled awkwardly seeing the angel eyes locked on screen .

“ of course it seems as everyone wants to do that tonight” he place it down as sam caught a glimpse of the page he was on . 

“ your love isn’t well actually love” he cut to the point . 

“ why not she tells me all the time” his head tilted like a confused puppy. 

“ that’s cause you give her five hundred dollars a night i mean she call you king of the world for that sort of money” . 

“ she shows me her things like…” he began to explain. 

“ i don’t need to know that .. but she not really in love with you buddy just the money you give her?” sam asked watching his reaction seeing the cogs turn in the mans head. 

“  i don’t get it” he finally said. 

“ ok… goodnight” sam huffed walking out as dean stormed  . 

“ hello dean” cas smiled. 

“ ok buddy you're dating a prostitute electronically needs to stop or we can’t buy pie so stop wasting the money online great talk buddy” he shut the door as the other two watched him walk off in victory . 

“ nothing wrong with earning money like that woman power ,  just not ours cas” y/n winced at her boyfriends way with words following after. 

They sat worried as cas never showed up for breakfast  , y/n even checked to see his room empty to which sam said to give him space. 

“ jesus your right that was like shooting bambi” sam called heading in the same direction. 

......

“ but what if we made him run away” she pouted. 

“ he’s literally older than all of us and an angel” dean shrugged. 

“ but he’s a baby in a trench coat you say it all time” she pointed out . 

“ the kitchen is through here , would you like a drink” the voice called out. 

“ oh water is fine” a female voice replied as the two appeared making them not only drop their jaws but whatever was in their face as the woman followed behind. 

“ is that…” she whispered. 

“ the hook..OWW” Dean yelled as y/n kicked him . 

“This my love  angel , angel these are my friends who think your a hooker”  cas said as sam choked on his drink.

“We don’t think your a hooker” y/n smiled weakly . 

“ actually we do  onlyfans means one thing … not that i would know i’ve never seen it before” dean corrected himself as his girlfriend glared. 

“ you know people do other things on onlyfans not only sexwork right “ angel crossed her arms. 

“ come on angel sixty nine” dean scoffed. 

“ six point nine my birthday is the 9th of june” she answered.

“ look we don’t slut shame but you make his hands wanna move” sam pointed out . 

“ to teach him to draw” she gasped .

 “ five hundred dollars to paint really cas” bobby walked in. 

“ he doesn’t pay me a dollar” angel pointed out . 

“ where our money going then” y/n brow furrow. 

“ wait that’s real money i though it was pretend money” jack walked in with his tablet showing them the gambling site he was on . 

“Wait so she's not a hooker” dean asked confused. . 

“ sorry angel” the called in unison .

" we're getting rid of the wifi i can't be dealing with this shit" y/n called heading out the room .

@pizzagirlxnsfwx hope you enjoy part three :)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Find Your Way Back Home: Part Three

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Dean turns to you for comfort whenever he is feeling vulnerable and emotional. You try to help in any way you can, even if it means giving yourself to him physically. He tries to push you out of his life but you show him that you're not going anywhere.

Author’s Note: This is the third part of six parts of the commission for @winchester-sinchester. Dean is twenty-six, the reader is eighteen, and Sam is twenty-four.

x

It’s been two weeks since you’ve seen or talked to Dean after he promised to stay with you. Maybe he had a good reason for leaving but then why didn’t he just tell you? Did he only tell you what you wanted to hear? Does he feel the same way as you do for him? Your roommate returned home last week but the place feels empty without Dean in it.

You’re in the kitchen making something to eat when you glance at your phone that’s sitting on the counter.

“Why are you staring at your phone like it’s talking to you?” your roommate, Jessica, asks.

“I’m debating on calling someone.”

“Who?” You don’t answer her. “Just call him.”

“How do you know it’s a him?”

“You’re looking at your phone in hope. I know for a fact you’re not into women, and you wouldn’t be looking at your phone if he was just a friend.”

You hate how perceptive she can be. You finish making your food and set the plate on the counter only to pick up your phone. You dial Dean’s number before you can stop yourself and place the phone at your ear.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he answers in two rings.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say to me? You left, Dean. You promised me you’d stay.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. My dad needed me. Sam’s gone and he needed some help on a hunt.”

“You could have left me a note or something.”

“If it helps anything, I did enjoy my time with you.”

Just like that, he brings a smile to your face. Your first time is exactly how they describe in books. It was passionate and magical.

“Me, too. When can I see you again?”

“Well, I’m finishing a hunt right now but I can come down after.”

“Okay. There’s a diner here that has amazing burgers. I think you’d like it.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

Heat spreads from your neck to your cheeks, and you turn away from your roommate so she doesn’t see how quickly you’ve fallen for Dean.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” you chuckle.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you in a few days.”

You hang up on Dean with a smile on your face.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Jessica asks.

“No, but I’m hoping he might be.”

Four days go by antagonizing slowly. Your homework sits on your computer untouched because all you can think about is Dean and his hands on you. He made good on his promise and showed up at your dorm by the end of the week, and you hate how quickly you’re running down the stairs to greet him.

“Dean!” you smile and fling yourself into his arms. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” he smiles.

He leans down and captures your lips with his. It feels good to finally be in his arms. Your body screams at you for his touch but you want something more than just sex. You want to know his mind and connect with him on a deeper level than just physical.

“So, the diner doesn’t close until really late but I was thinking if we go there now, we’ll still have enough time to go bowling afterwards. There is a place near here that’s pretty cool. The lanes light up.”

Dean bends slightly and hooks his hands underneath your thighs. You’re forced to wrap your legs around his waist so you don’t fall, but you don’t mind the position. He slides his hands over your ass to keep you close to him as he walks inside your building. The door is propped open since they are having new students come in and apply to live there next year. No one is in the lobby as Dean carries you through it and up the stairs to your floor.

“I have a better idea,” he grins and kisses your neck when he reaches your front door.

You didn’t lock it for this exact reason so he pushes it open and slams it shut behind him. Jessica is in class so it’s just you two again. The thought of having him inside you again is getting you wetter than you care to admit. Ever since your first time, you’ve craved his touch. You haven’t been with another man since you don’t want anyone else but him.

“I don’t think I can wait this time, Dean. I just need you inside me.”

“Fuck, sweetheart.”

He lays you on your bed and runs his hands down your clothed legs. He doesn’t want you to think you’re some booty call but damn, he can’t think about anything else but your pussy. He undoes the string on the front of your sweats and pulls them down your legs along with your panties. He really isn’t wasting time on you.

Dean unbuttons his jeans and pulls down his briefs along with it. His cock springs free with a red angry tip. Precome drizzles down the side of his cock, making your mouth water at the sight. You want to taste him but later, you will. Dean grabs a condom from his pocket and rips it open with his teeth, careful not to break the rubber. He slides it onto his aching cock before running the tip through your folds.

You’re about to bite out some snappy remark when he shoves himself into your drenched pussy. You tip your head back and moan his name while grabbing at whatever you can. Dean falls onto you but catches himself before he can crush you.

“Damn, sweetheart, you’re so fucking tight. Have you fucked anyone after me?”

“No, only you,” you moan.

Dean sets s a fast pace that has you both climbing to your climaxes at the same time. You come around him first followed by himself right after. It’s a short but intense session that’s got your legs shaking and your heart racing. You’re kind of embarrassed for not lasting long but you just missed him so much. Dean pulls out of you and discards the condom before pulling his pants up.

“If you’re hungry we can go to the diner or we can go bowling first. If you still want to.”

“Eat first. I’m starving.”

You get dressed in something more public-appropriate before leaving your dorm with Dean. The diner is located very close to your college so that college students can walk there if they don’t have a car, but Dean still uses his to get there. It’s not packed which is good so you and Dean can have some peace and quiet compared to moments ago.

The waitress brings you two some menus before leaving to tend to other customers. You look through it briefly before looking at Dean in thought. He looks… tired… worn out. He looks like the shit his father has thrown at him is finally catching up with him. He should be experiencing life in his twenties, not fighting and killing monsters.

“How’s your dad doing?” you ask.

“He’s… dad.”

Well, that’s not vague at all.

“How’s Sam doing?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You haven’t been by to visit him?”

“Nope.”

“Why? You came to see me, and I’m pretty sure I’m farther than Stanford.”

“He left this family. I didn’t make him do anything he didn't want to do. He left us. Why should I go after him when he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with us?” Dean scoffs.

“Dean--”

“Anyway, how are you doing? How is school?”

Dean hates talking about his family because it makes him emotional which makes him vulnerable. He hates feeling vulnerable so he avoids talking about things he knows will make him that. You want to pry but you don’t want him to leave so you leave it alone for now.

“School is good. All of my classes are pretty easy.”

“Still all online?”

“Every one of them. I can still go with you, you know? Company or to help hunt.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to drag you into this mess.”

“You did when I was ten.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

He doesn’t want you with him but you’re going to keep trying.

“You know, I’ve gotten better at fighting. My building has a gym that I’ve been using almost every day. My aim is better and I’ve read on a ton of lore. I can help you and your dad.”

“I don’t want to taint your innocence.”

Dean didn’t come here to discuss the possibility of you hunting with him full-time. You’re eighteen. He wants you to get an education and stay away from this life as much as you can. He wants you to stay away from him but he can’t seem to stop himself from coming back to you. After a delicious dinner, you two head back to your dorm room where he spends the night.

“Are you going to be here when I wake up?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

You let that comfort you into a deep slumber but the fear of not seeing him in the morning is what wakes you up. The spot next to you on the bed is empty but warm which means he left it not too long ago. Is he still here? Did he break his promise again? Before you can overthink, you hear someone cooking something in the kitchen. You throw on something to wear and head out to see Dean in the kitchen making eggs.

“You stayed,” you smile.

“I promised, didn’t I?”

“So, we didn't get to go bowling yesterday, but there is this place north of here that has a bunch of activities to do like escape rooms and rage rooms. I figure we can go up there for the day.” Dean flips the eggs in the pan but doesn’t say anything. “Dean?”

“I can’t stay,” he says without turning around.

If he had, he would have seen your face drop.

“What? Why not?”

“My dad called me. He didn’t know I took this little trip and needed me to come back. He’s pissed but I’m hoping by the time I get to him, he might have calmed down.”

“Are you sure? What if you didn’t go back?”

“I have to,” he sighs. He puts the eggs on a plate and sets it in front of you. “He’s my dad and he needs me.”

“Let me come with you.”

“No.” Dean sees the look of sadness in your eyes and walks around the counter to stand next to you. He grabs both sides of your face and kisses you slowly. “I’ll be back.”

You both know he won’t… not for a while. Dean is gone before you know it, and you look down at the eggs he made for you. Suddenly, you’re not so hungry. The first few days after Dean left are spent in your room crying over him. The fourth and fifth day is spent studying and working on your homework as best as you can. The seventh day is the day you realize that you’re an adult and can do whatever you want. Who is Dean to tell you that you can’t help him on hunts?

If you want to go to him then you’re going to go to him. It’s not hard to pack up some of your shit and continue your schoolwork online from anywhere in the country. Dean told you where he and his dad were in case you ever needed him, and that’s where you’re headed now.

There is only one motel on this long stretch of road so it has to be the one Dean and John are staying in. You knock on the door when you get there and wait for Dean to answer. The curtains shift cautiously before the door opens.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Dean asks.

He has his gun in his hands thinking it could be a monster instead of you.

“I’m helping you. Are you going to let me in?”

“Sure,” he mutters and steps aside. “What do you mean you’re helping me?”

“I told you. All my classes are online. You need me.”

Dean has to give you credit. You’re persistent. He closes the door with a quiet chuckle.

“You sure you’re ready for this life?”

“How hard can it be? You do it,” you tease.

You’re ready to take this next step with Dean even if ends in heartbreak and disaster.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[apocalypseornaw]

Wanna be Yours (Pt 5/5)

(A/N: I hate the scene this gif is from don't get me wrong but dayum is Sam gorgeous af in it)

Sam Winchester x Reader

Feelings are finally admitted and acted upon

@lacilou s idea that she graciously let me run with

NSFW things ahead

"Are we going to talk about whatever happened the other night when we were at the bar with Ronnie?" Dean cut his eyes up at Sam when he sat down across from him at the table and shrugged "Don't know what you mean?"

Sam leveled his brother with a look "I mean we were all getting along just fine, me and Ronnie were dancing then all of a sudden we needed to hit the road? And the twins never did show up" Dean shrugged again "Maybe they decided to stop off at a hotel, who knows with those two"

Sam shook his head, he wasn't ever going to get a straight answer out of Dean and since that night you would hardly be in the same room as him. He felt like he was being left out of a big secret and didn't like it. "I think there's more than that" Sam pushed and Dean let out a hard breath of air "You want the honest truth?" Sam nodded "Yeah, I do"

---------------

Dean glanced towards the hall then back at Sam "I see how you look at her Sammy. I've known you your entire life" Sam felt his eyes widen, so Dean knew. Shit, he hadn't ever wanted his older brother to know he had feelings for his girl.

"Dean, you got to know I never meant to develop feelings for her" he didn't miss the look of confusion that flashed across Dean's face "What do you mean never meant to.." but he cut him off "I know you and her are close and I wouldn't want to step on your toes with anything but she's just well she's her... she's beautiful and smart. She's as sarcastic as you are but the sweetest person you've ever wanted to meet at times. She's one of the most amazing hunters I've ever met, she'll stand toe to toe with a demon and not blink an eye but she'll tear up at some movie she's watched a thousand times or get into a book she's read a hundred times to the extent she'll throw it into the wall. She's a force of nature, she's got this pull to her.. I'm sorry man but yeah I've fallen for her. I hope you can forgive me"

Sam expected a lot in that moment. Yelling, Dean to walk out hell anything except for Dean to start laughing. "What?" He questioned and Dean shook his head, laughing harder "You've been thinking all these years that me and Y/N what exactly...keep quiet and mess around behind your back? You've seen me go home with women!"

Sam shrugged, feeling like he was missing out on a lot "I figured it may be an open relationship? I mean you two move on hunts like you share one mind. You have unspoken conversations, she likes a lot of the stuff you like and she's been a steady in your life since you were nineteen"

Dean shook his head again before wiping a hand down his face "Yeah, Sammy she's my best friend. She means a lot to me but we've never crossed any lines like that. Jesus I thought you two were smart"

Sam shrugged one shoulder "Yeah well...wait us two?" Dean's face was nearly comical when he caught his slip up "Shit she's gonna kill me. Don't tell her I said that ok?" A smile slipped onto Sam's face "Are you saying she feels the same?" Dean rolled his eyes at that "For fucks sake, you're a grown man she's a grown woman, go talk to her. I'm not getting in the middle of it"

Dean stood to walk out the kitchen leaving Sam to wonder what his next move should be.

You were standing in the laundry room, waiting for your load to get done when Dean popped his head into the door "Hey sweetheart, I'm headed to meet Donna and Garth. I'll be back in a few hours. You need anything?"

You shook your head "No i think im good. Might want to grab more detergent and dryer sheets. Is Sam going with you?" He held your gaze for a moment before saying "Nope. He'll be here" you rolled your eyes "Does Donna and Garth even need your help?" He simply grinned "I'll see you tonight" "Yeah. Be safe so I can kick your ass when you get back" he laughed "You got it"

You watched him walk out and shook your head. He was trying to force your hand, damn him. You felt a chill and regretted running around the bunker in just sleep shorts and a tshirt but most of your clothes had been dirty. You looked around and found a stack of folded shirts on a shelf, you grabbed a flannel out of the bunch and slipped it over your shoulders. You weren't surprised when it fell to your thighs considering how short you were compared to both Winchesters.

--------------

You waited until both of your loads were done and folded then grabbed your basket to head to your room and put them away.

You clicked your radio on to play music and started humming along to the song as you moved around the room, replacing what clothes went into drawers and repacking your go-bag.

The thought of Sam being somewhere in the bunker kept flicking through your mind. Dean was right, you needed to tell Sam. Neither of you were blushing virgins here. You shook your head and finished putting your laundry away.

Once you were done you turned the radio off then headed out of your room. The floor was cold under your bare feet but you were headed for Dean's tv room. The thought was to hide from Sam but you needed something to drink first.

You stepped into the kitchen and nearly ran back out when you spotted Sam pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge but froze when he looked up at you and smiled "Y/N"

---------------

Sam had gone on an early run then grabbed a shower after Dean left. He needed to clear his head and think about what to do.

He walked into the kitchen to grab some water and the moment he leaned into the fridge he heard a noise behind him and looked up to see you standing in the doorway. You were wearing black sleep shorts and one of Dean's old Led Zeppelin shirts but what struck out to him was the fact that you were wearing his flannel as well. The image of you only wearing his flannel flashed his mind and he cursed himself for it. He didn't even really know how you felt or what you wanted.

---------------

He felt a smile slip onto his face "Y/N" you smiled back at him "Hey Sam. Um pass me a bottle of water?" He held the one out that was in his hand "Here, I haven't opened it" you took it with a nod "Thanks"

You stood there for a moment then motioned towards the hall "Want to watch a movie?" He didn't hesitate to say yes. He grabbed another bottle of water and followed you down the hall.

--------------

You were acutely aware of Sam at your back as you walked down the hall trying to think of a good movie you could watch with him but all you could think about was how those black joggers fit him and how tight that shirt looked across his shoulders.

You walked into the TV room and flicked the string lights on instead of the overhead then grabbed the remote. You sat down on one side of the couch and Sam sat on the other. You finally decided on a slasher flic you and Dean had watched a thousand times.

---------------

You settled back into the cushions and tried to concentrate on the screen but you felt Sam's eyes on you. After a minute you paused the movie and turned to face him, tucking one leg under your body "Yes Samuel"

He grinned slightly "That's my flannel" you raised an eyebrow "Oh, I'm sorry. I can take it off" You moved to pull it off your shoulders but he grabbed your arms gently "Looks better on you" you were a bit too aware of how close the two of you were in that moment and he quickly dropped your arms muttering an apology.

You stared at each other for a moment before you both tried to speak. He smiled "Ladies first" you nodded moving a bit closer to him "Cards on the table here Winchester. I have feelings for you. It's developed over times and just gotten worse. It's awkward because you're my best friend's brother and younger than me but it happened"

--------------

He was silent for a moment and you were mentally kicking Dean's ass when Sam suddenly reached across pulling you into his lap. You gasped at the sudden movement, bracing your hands against his chest.

He smiled up at you and your breath caught "Thank God because if I had to go much longer without doing this I don't know what I'd do" you were about to question him when he pulled you down to him.

The moment your lips met his you melted against him. His lips moved against yours like he was a drowning man pulling in his last breath of air. Your hands found his hair, tangling in it and he groaned lightly as he tightened his grip on you, rolling his hips up to meet yours as his tongue flicked into your mouth.

-------------

When you were forced to pull away to catch your breath he rested his head in the bend of your neck, both of your chests were heaving slightly. You felt his lips teasing the skin of your neck and fought against the moan that wanted to escape you "Sam" He stilled his movements "I like you saying my name like that"

You smiled but pulled back further to force him to look at you "Are we both wanting the same thing?" He bought up one hand to push your hair back out of your face "I want you Y/N, not just for a couple hours or a couple days. I haven't felt like this about someone in a long time. It's been absolute torture thinking you were with Dean" you laughed at that "You thought me and Dean?" He groaned lightly "I did"

You shook your head "You beautiful, idiotic man. I've had eyes for you for so long it's kind of pathetic" he grinned "like having a crush on my brothers best friend isn't?" You shrugged then smiled at him "Where were we?"

---------------

He pulled you back into a kiss. He started at your lips then kissed down your jaw and when he made it to your neck you didn't try to stop the light moans that escaped you. You rolled your hips against his and he groaned again, grabbing your hips "Babygirl, tell me what you want here" you felt your stomach flip at his words and the way he said them "I want you to take me to your room and show me just how much you want me" "I can do that"

You stumbled into Sam's bedroom, lips never breaking fully from each other. Once the door was shut he pushed your back against it then leaned down to slip his hands under your thighs and lift you up. You gasped as you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling how his body was reacting to you.

His hips rutted against yours as he swallowed every little sound he pulled from you. "Wanted you for so damn long....so fucking beautiful..." the praises falling from his lips for you had a fire growing in the pit of your stomach "Bed Sam. Please the bed" you mumbled against his lips and he nodded "I got you baby, I got you"

-------------

He carried you across the room to the bed and laid you down gently, holding himself up on his arms as he looked down at you. You couldn't help yourself, you reached up to let your fingertips trace the light stubble gracing his jawline "You are so fucking gorgeous Sam" the smile he gave you in return was warm enough to put the sun to shame "Y/N, you're everything"

His lips found yours again and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him down to you. His hips rolled down against yours and the feeling of his hard cock even through his joggers and your shorts was enough to make a moan of his name leave your lips "I want you Sam" He nodded "You got me"

You leaned up to shed the flannel and the shirt you were wearing and Sam pulled his shirt over his head as well tossing it behind him. The look in his eyes as he took in the sight of your bared chest had you clenching around nothing "So damn perfect" he whispered leaning down to catch one of your breasts between his lips.

"Fuck Sam" you moaned and felt one of his hands on your left leg, trailing up under the shorts you wore. His fingers got just shy of where you wanted them "Take em off Sam. Please" he chuckled against your skin before moving to the other breast giving it the same attention he had the other one.

He moved back up to your lips and time his mouth met yours you felt one of his fingers teasing at your entrance. You gasped into his mouth when it slipped past your folds. He added another after a moment, curling them upwards until he found that spot that had your back arching off the bed "You're so wet baby. Is this for me?" He teased working at your clit with his thumb while his fingers worked that spot deep inside of you.

You could feel that knot in your lower stomach building and when Sam moved his fingers just slightly to change the angle you felt it burst. You came with a scream of his name as he continued to finger you through your orgasm. When you pushed his hand away he slipped his fingers into his mouth, holding your gaze as he sucked them cleaned. "Taste so damn sweet"

You moaned "Fuck me Sam. Please" he grinned "Damn where is that smart mouthed woman that's always putting me and Dean in our place?" He reached for the hem of your shorts and pulled them down your legs before tossing them behind him "Sam Winchester I swear.." you started but was cut off by him laughing "Teasing babygirl. Just teasing"

He stood up to slip his joggers off and you felt your mouth drop open slightly. He was thick and long "Y/N, you good?" He asked, fisting his hard cock as a smirk slipped onto his face "I'm perfect baby, now C'mere" he climbed onto the bed, holding his weight up off of you.

When he got up to your face you pulled him down into a kiss and felt him push into you. A moan escaped you both at the feeling. He stilled once he was inside of you completely to give you time to adjust. His eyes fluttered shut just for a moment before he opened them "Fuck you feel fucking amazing" you laughed lightly considering the stretch of him had given way to pleasure "Good, move then"

He rolled his hips down into yours and you moaned "Just like that Sam" He buried his face in your neck, nipping and kissing the skin there as he worked his hips into yours, every thrust he was hitting that spot inside of you that had you seeing stars.

You were so damn close to coming again and he must have realized it because one hand slid between your bodies to play with your clit while his movements never slowed. You felt that knot burst again and your vision went fuzzy around the edges as he fucked you through your orgasm.

His thrusts started to get sloppy and more erratic and you knew he was close so you started to roll your hips up to meet his. "Come for me Sam. Let me feel how much you want me....you're so damn gorgeous and strong and fucking perfect for me..."

Your words pushed him over the edge and he buried himself inside of you with one final thrust and you felt when he came, filling you up.

-------------

You could feel your legs shaking gently around him as he smiled down at you breathlessly "You are absolutely amazing you know that right?" You smiled "So my boyfriend tells me"

He gave you one of those heart stopping smiles again "Smart man, that boyfriend of yours" you nodded "He really is" He pulled out of you gently, apologizing when you whimpered a bit from the loss of contact.

---------------

He reached down and found his discarded shirt to wipe you up a bit before laying down next to you and pulling you over on his chest. He traced the antipossesion tattoo on your shoulder as you traced the one on his chest "Wanna grab another shower, with me this time?" You asked and he laughed "Never feel the need to ask me just say cmon we're gonna go shower"

You looked up at him with a laugh "I think I love you Sam Winchester" He smiled brightly "Good because I think I love you too"

@foxyjwls007

@lacilou

@nelachu2423

@nix-rose

[my-supernatural-rewatch]

Episode 13: Route 666

Dean Winchester in the Supernatural episode Route 666

Hey, look! It's the racist truck episode!

Listen, I'm going to be honest here, as a white person the first time I saw this episode I thought "Cool, they killed the racist white dude." But the more times I watch this episode I can't help thinking that this is what happens when white people try to write about black people without actually talking with black people first.

SO this entry is going to be a little different because I'm not up for going through this whole thing.

If you've seen the show, you know the synopsis. Dean's ex calls him when her father is killed in a car accident and she thinks it's due to supernatural causes. More people die suspiciously and we eventually find out it's the ghost of the guy his girlfriend's father and friends killed and buried in his truck coming after the black people (and one white savior dude) who killed him in the first place.

It is...not good.

More under the cut.

The only good thing about this episode, IMO, is Cassie, Dean's ex. SO all I'm really going to write about here is Dean, Cassie, and that relationship and how it affects Dean.

We find out that while John and Dean were working a job in Ohio and Cassie was going to college, the two met and, in Dean's words, "went out for a couple of weeks."

Sam is PISSED because if she's calling Dean for help it means he told her the 'secret' (Sam's word) about what they do. Here's Sam's rant:

"You told her. You told her, the secret! Our big family rule number one. We do what we do and we shut up about it. For a year and a half I do nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything?"

Now part of me thinks Sam is right to at least QUESTION why Dean told Cassie. Especially given the whole 'couple of weeks/times' thing. But in this scene Sam is seriously pissed...and of course he brings it back to Jessica. Which had literally nothing to do with Dean. He could have told Jessica anything he wanted because, remember Sam, he wasn't a hunter anymore.

But actually none of Sam's rant will matter in a few minutes when he pretty much tells Dean, after meeting Cassie, that it's no big deal that he told her.

JFC

Anyway.

When Cassie and Dean reunite, Sam is in the background smirking at how obviously taken Dean still is with her. I had to keep reminding myself in this episode that currently Sam is only 22 years-old and college boy or not he still has the brain of an idiot 10-year-old when it comes to certain things...like being a spoiled brat or Dean liking a girl.

But at least Sam is savvy enough to pick up on cues, like Cassie and Dean not being able to look at each other at the same time, and he deduces that, at the very least, back then Dean was in love with Cassie.

At this point Dean only admits to being "a little bit more involved" with Cassie than he initially told Sam. And without words he confirmed that Cassie was the one who did the dumping, not him.

(Which I find fascinating...what was Dean's plan had Cassie not freaked out and dumped him? Was he going to just go visit her every so often? Was he going to bring her with him? Would he have considered quitting hunting for her? We'll never know; and I kind of hate that.)

So a couple of interesting tidbits about Cassie and Dean....he's so comfortable with her, even now, that not only did he tell her what he actually did for work, but here and now, when they discussed how they broke things off, he admits to her face that she hurt him.

WHEN DOES DEAN EVER DO THAT? NEVER. THAT'S WHEN.

Also worth noting that when he admits her breaking up with him hurt him, she apologizes and ten seconds later we get a fairly steamy (for the CW anyway) sex scene. Just be vulnerable, fellas, and someone will schtup you.

I want to point out one other thing before I forget. Dean has a reputation for hooking up with women who the writers want us to think are loose bimbos without brains. But his first true love is a college-educated woman who isn't easily led by bad pickup lines and who had enough self-confidence to dump the boyfriend she thought was either batshit crazy or on his way to breaking up with her.

Which is to say, Dean appreciates women with brains as well as beauty and I hate how the writers often forget that.

SO we get the sex scene which leads to pillow talk about why they broke up resulting in Cassie saying that if you want them to, things usually work out. Sounds like she's back on the Dean train...but then Dean responds:

"You know, I'm still really involved. With my dad's work."

And I want to give him such a pinch. What the hell, Dean? Even if it's true, maybe don't bring up your dad while you're in bed with a woman who is willing to take you as you are, huh?

John is forever an albatross around Dean's neck, man.

One quick random note: When Dean and Cassie have sex, Dean is shirtless but is still wearing the Samulet. Jensen Ackles has said on many occasions that the Samulet was super heavy and I can't imagine it was very comfortable for Dean OR Jensen in that moment.

SO when Sam realized Dean and Cassie got down, what does he do? Does he say, "Good for you? An actual relationship with a good woman?" No. He teases him about it. Because Sam can't read a room.

Another odd thing I noticed. In this episode there are three, THREE scenes where someone brings someone else a cup of tea. Cassie brings Dean and Sam tea when they first sit down to talk. Then she brings Dean a cup when they are at the paper and then Sam brings Cassie's mother a cup when she's about to tell her story.

It doesn't mean anything...I just thought it was interesting and kind of obvious. But that could be because I was ignoring the plot of the show.

Okay I'll say one thing about the plot. When Cassie's mother shares the story of how Cyrus was so jealous of her being with a black man that he started kidnapping black men, then burned down a church with black children in it...and then tells them that her husband killed Cyrus after he tried to kill him...Dean wants to know why they didn't call the cops.

Now, first off, Dean never calls the cops, but that's a different story. Secondly, it really does show the disconnect between the kid raised by the white guy from Kansas and the mixed raced girlfriend of his. I'd like to say that it also served as a reminder to the viewers that in the 1960s things were very different than they are now but it doesn't always feel like they're that different these days.

Before they go try to kill the ghost truck, Sam decides to tell Dean he knows Dean is still in love with Cassie.

Dean's response is: Can we focus?

One little thing about Sam...he figures out how to get rid of the truck (having it go over hallowed ground...okay, whatever)...but tells Dean he thought MAYBE it would work. (It did, but Sam didn't actually know it would.)

When Dean upsettedly asks him what if he was wrong, Sam's answer is a smarmy:

"Honestly that thought hadn't occurred to me."

I mean, what IF he was wrong? Not only would the racist, killer truck still be out there but his brother would be dead. JFC Sam. When are you going to make me like you?

Dean and Cassie have their goodbye which Dean hopes will be "a little less permanent" and once again it's Cassie who has to make the call.

"You know what? I'm a realist. I don't see much hope for us Dean."

Dean says he's seen stranger things happen, they kiss, stare at each other, and Dean and Sam drive off into the sunset. And Cassie?

We never see her or hear about her again.

Which is doubly annoying when the episode ends with Sam asking Dean:

"You meet someone like her, doesn't it makes you wonder if it's worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do?"

And Dean just smiling, putting on a pair of shades, and settling in for a nap.

Is this the first and/or only time we see Dean in shades?

HOW DO YOU GO FROM A BRILLIANT EPISODE LIKE FAITH TO THIS? THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW.

Some notes for posterity:

Significant music in this episode: She Brings Me Love by Bad Company and Can't Find My Way Home by Blind Faith.

Cassie basically tells everyone their real names in this episode but when they question the friend of one of the deceased, Dean tells him they're from All Natural Mutual insurance company

Sam drives the Impala in this episode more than once. He's driving it at the end of the episode while Dean is eager to take a nap.

Dean wears John's jacket

They light bones on fire but we don't see with what. They pour the gas, but whether by lighter or matches is anyone's guess

This hunt takes place in  Cape Girardeau, Missouri

Recognizable Guest Stars: Kathleen Noone as Audrey

According to the Hollywood Reporter this episode is the highest rated of all the Supernatural episodes for same-day viewing. 5.82 million people watched this one when it aired (compared to the 5.69 who watched the pilot episode)

[thegeminisage]

oooh envesseled, please!!

HI wow thank you for asking, because i love talking about this, and i promise no one is obligated to read the whole answer lol. envesseled (partially, but only partially, up on ao3...) is part of cambionverse, which is a sort of spin-off about some EXTREMELY minor characters in s*pernatural that my buddy @callowyn and i have been chipping away at since 2011 or so.

for anyone with a passing familiarity with the show: we were so sure they were going to kill lisa braeden at the end of season 6 (can you blame us?), we whipped up a little scenario where her son ben was partially raised by sam, dean, and bobby instead...until sam and dean go mysteriously missing, a la john winchester, and now ben has to go and look for them the same way they once searched for their own dad.

but since supernatural has those big 3 characters (sam dean cas) and ben is our dean-character (he is sort of like a dean who broke the cycle of abuse and is also a huge lovable dork), we also needed a sam-character and a cas-character. for our sam we picked jesse (a one-episode wonder, the antichrist kid who turned cas into an action figure), and claire novak, the daughter of acstiel's vessel, who at that point was also a one-episode wonder and also had a collective total of less than 50 words of dialogue. we made her up on our own, essentially. jesse struggles with anxiety and controlling his demonic half and trusting hunters/himself after doing so has burned him in the past (or...gotten other people burned, i guess), and claire struggles with trusting anyone at all and the total emotional unavailability/other after-effects that come from being possessed by something with a thousand eyes at age 11.

in the first two "big" stories (one for jesse, one for ben, though there's a shit ton of additional content) they battle meg (my beloved, don't worry, she'll NEVER die), find the missing sam and dean, resolve various other personal traumas, be mentally ill together, and flirt ever closer to a three-person situationship that would make dean actively long for death if he ever found out about it. meanwhile cally and i kind of throw tomatoes at various things in the show proper that annoyed us, such as how much they hate women, how often they forget their own canon, or the double standard of sometimes letting monsters live when they're dangerous and sometimes killing them when they've done nothing wrong.

envesseled is the third "big" story, for claire, and it takes a significant turn because at the very beginning of it, while she and ben are in the middle of a huge argument, he dies (fridged a la MARY winchester), debatably because of something claire did, and the only way to resurrect him is to ask castiel for help. except he can't help because his various misadventures have left him broken into a thousand pieces and his current jimmy-vessel has no soul to put them back together. and so she's still dealing with this castiel trauma, and the grief/guilt over ben, and the grief /guilt over her dad she never processed, while going around collecting all the broken pieces of castiel in her own body so he can envessel HER (hence the title), bring ben back to life--except the catch is the more grace she takes into her body, the sicker she gets, so it's a question of whether or not she has enough time to finish collecting the pieces, and whether or not she can actually bear to be in castiel's presence and also say yes to him in order to allow him to do this.

as one might guess from the summary it is. an INCREDIBLY niche fanfic series with like a dozen fans worldwide, though i am proud to say pretty much everyone who's tried it has liked it, probably because it's diverged so heavily at this point it aaalmost reads like original fiction. like, i wish there were words to convey how deeply you do not need to have seen the show to read it. we are still writing "envesseled" which is why it's on the wip list (it is fighting with us SO MUCH) but we really really really hope we get it finished in time for "cambion day," which is march 29 (jesse's birthday). i tried very, very hard to find an excerpt from what we haven't posted that isn't full of giant spoilers, but i can't, so i'll post an excerpt from what we have on ao3 instead that i really like. this happens right after claire absorbs the first of many of castiel's broken pieces and is kind of a microcosm of the dynamic in general:

Castiel stands, not far enough away, watching her like a crow inspecting carrion. "How do you feel?" Claire takes a deep breath, assessing. There's no apparent difference between the new grace and the old—after all, both are pieces of the same angel—but she feels their presence more keenly, a stronger heat than the one she's been accustomed to for so many years. Apparently she's more sensitive to the powers of the Antichrist, too. "I've stopped feeling like there's a stab wound in my side, if that's what you mean." "Hm." Two fingers brush across her forehead. Claire's entire body thrums, and then she's grabbing Castiel's wrist, crushing it in her grip as she pulls his hand away. "Don't touch me." Her heartbeat is wild, squeezing the bones under her hand with all her strength, knowing she can't damage him but too angry to care. "Don't you ever touch me." Castiel holds motionless in a way no human could ever achieve, lights flickering over his head. "Let go of me, then." He could break free of her grasp with a fraction of effort, but it's still satisfying to throw his hand aside. Claire catches Jesse's eyes, and sees just a moment of ink-black there before he blinks and the light fixtures stop shaking. "Very well," says Castiel, after a long tense silence. He leaves the kitchen, giving Claire a wide berth, and moves to stand in the center of the dusty library. "Try this one."

let people send you an ask with the WIP title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

[ihatedean]

we finished ep10 and i neeeed to say some shit.

of course they'd bring missouri back just to kill her. i'm the idiot for believing they'd actually do something fun with her.

i've only had jack for 9 episodes and i would genuinely die for him. not even joking. he's the only good thing to come out of the bunker era. also. mama bear sam??? wow. i don't know how i feel about dean yet- i know he grows fond of jack later, but i don't think i've ever seen him treat anybody like this. at least not people who didn't deserve it... it's weird.

oh god. they did that for me actually. my cringe little girl. he looks soooo dumb and its so so hot. i love the boots. i love it when he cosplays. i love that they had absolutely NO privacy in that motel. wow.

4. i want ketch gone. not in a "ohhh he's so evil i want him gone!" way. it's a "please please erase everything BMOL-related from existence" way. i don't like him, the only thing he brings to the table so far is mentioning rowena. but i genuinely hope he's here just for a few episodes until something kills him.

5.e8.... happened. i guess it was....... different. e9 and... uh. dinosaurs? i HATED the camera movement, though. there's that.

6. what the fuck was up with dean forcing kaia to get in the car. holy fuck. i know we're supposed to believe its because he's doing whatever he can to bring his mother back but.... jesus. he just. wouldn't do that. it was genuinely devastating to see him act like that- it crossed too many lines.

7. holy fuck. holy fuck WAYWARD SISTERS. ugh, so many feelings. we could not shut up while watching. it was sooo much fun and such a cool way to get the girls together!! i love that you can tell they have different dynamics w each other- it feels real. there's a gentleness in claire that she shows to the "new girls" of the gang, cool big-sister vibes that she uses to calm them down, ease them into it. and another one, deeper, reserved just for her sister alex. when alex and claire are talking you can FEEL the years of growing up together. they've said some nasty things to each other, you just know it. and yeah i ship it. but: it does sting that they've been building all these great female characters who are strong and funny and smart and caring, and then proceeded to give them an episode that felt.... ugh, i don't know. i hate the word performative, but i just wish it had been treated with more seriousness? like. give them a scary looking monster, at least. let them look messy. i couldn't stop looking at claire's perfectly curled hair throughout the whole episode. they're beautiful women, i already know that, they would look pretty even if you roughen them up, i promise. it felt like the show kept repeating "wow these women are BAD-ASS, right? right!? they shoot guns!" in a way that they never needed to with jo or ellen or fuck, jody. one look at ellen and i was straightening my back, man. i miss that. i miss characters that didn't need to show their scars to show how bad-ass they are.

Anyways. I hated season 12. But it was something. And it showed the hunter world outside of Sam and Dean, something I missed a lot. With season 13 I can officially say I'm just here to watch Jensen Ackles' mouth moving. That's it. Asmodeus might have been a fun character for a video game. I hate him in this show. I want Mary gone, or at least I want someone to remember who Mary Winchester is and write her as such. Kevin was there for a moment, that was cool. Mark Pellegrino was not paid enough.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 113 Transcript: Queerbaiting is Only an Offshoot of Straightbaiting

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we are watching Season 6, Episode 9: "Clap Your Hands If You Believe," famously written by Ben Edlund [C: God.], directed by John Showalter. [C: Well.] Did we have women this episode that Ben Edlund was weird about? [C: Um...] I have completely forgotten this episode. Full disclosure, [both] we watched it a week ago. Yeah. And it was fine. Was it fine?

C: Patchouli was there. That was a woman.

G: Who is? Oh yeah.

C: The hippie girl whose name I don't know.

G: Yeah. She didn't smell that bad, as Sam Winchester said.

C: There were gay people who were never on screen that Ben Edlund was weird about. I think that was the main thing this episode.

G: Yeah, it was the homophobia, the ableism, "we don't even know what kind of hate crime this is."

C: Yeah. Yeah. [laughs]

G: He was trying to be like, "Haha! Wouldn't it be so funny if it was a hate crime?"

C: Yeah. "Wouldn't it be so funny if Dean Winchester was homophobic and ableist?" And it's like, he is homophobic and ableist! [G laughs] What are you talking about?

G: Well, and it's not funnay! [C laughs] This episode was pretty fun, though, sometimes.

C: Sometimes.

G: Sometimes it was just normal. To bad! Normal to bad.

C: Yeah, yeah. It's true.

G: But okay. This is a famous episode. Why is it famous?

C: 'Cause of the homophobia.

G: Is that it? Are you sure? I'm asking because-

C: Because soulless Sam is iconic in it.

G: That's true. That is probably the reason why. Soulless Sam. And I'm sure there's a lot of crossover between X-Files and Supernatural fans, and so the intro to this episode must have been a fun thing! You know, it's a fun thing. It's memorable. Also, they put Misha Collins in there, and Castiel is literally not here. [C: Not in this episode.] Unbelievable. Why would they lie to us like this?

C: They were just calling him gay. That's the point of putting him in the credits. [laughs]

G: Sure. Why not? [C: Why not?] I mean, I do think it's fun that they have- Does Sam believe in aliens? Sam is the alien believer, I would say.

C: Yeah, well, we should check "Tall Tales."

G: Or did they both not believe in aliens? Well, Sam believed in aliens for a while, and Dean also did, I suppose, this episode. Honestly, I loved the bit about this episode where the reason why Dean was experiencing all those horrors was because he was the [both] first-born son. Like, loved it. Loved it.

C: Sam and Dean both express that they don't think aliens are real in "Tall Tales."

G: That's true. So Cas is the alien. [laughs] That is the point of the introduction. [C: Yeah.] We're like, "We have two guys who don't believe in aliens and some guy who's an alien!" And that's so important. [C: Good for him.] It is so wonderful that Cas is an alien. Isn't that so nice? [C: Yeah.] Or does he not count?

C: I mean, is Heaven another planet? It's not.

G: I think it's extraterrestrial. It's out of this world.

C: It's only for people who die on Earth, though.

G: Yeah, but like, angels don't necessarily have to have been on Earth. [C: Right.] So therefore they are extraterrestrial. If people went to Mars, would you be like, “Oh, and this creature from Mars is not an alien anymore because people from Earth are in Mars”? You know.

C: But Heaven was created specifically for dead people, wasn't it?

G: How do you know that? How do you know that? We don't know that.

C: Is it not just an extension of Earth?

G: Is it really?

C: I sort of view it that way.

G: I don't think that's true. Or is it? A wonderful question. What did you know about this episode before going in?

C: Dean yells “fight the fairies!” and gets taken in by a cop for homophobia. He also gets abducted by aliens, but they are fairies.

G: What's crazy is I thought that was because of homophobia because I know of the hashtag. [C: Yeah.] I never really remembered that-

C: That he beat a guy up first.

G: - he beat a guy up for it, and that is- and the guy’s a little person, and that's why the cop goes like, “I don't even know what kind of hate crime this is.” That part of it was erased in my mind. Unbelievable. Because of that damn hashtag [laughs] that trended because it was homophobic.

C: Sam talks to a woman whose name we don't get but who Dean calls Patchouli and says that his brother got kidnapped once, but he's over it, and she goes, “Did it happen when you were a child?” And he says, “No, like 30 minutes ago,” and then he sleeps with her, and Dean says, “What the hell? While I was kidnapped?” and Sam goes, “Well, I did all I could to try to get you back. What did you want me to do? Just sit in the dark and feel bad?” And Dean goes, “Yeah!” That's what I knew about this episode.

G: Yeah. Well, what I knew about this episode was that, you know, I didn't know what the quote-unquote “monster” was. I truly didn't.

C: What? Why do you think Dean was saying that?

G: I mean, I don't know. Okay, here's what I thought was gonna happen. It was gonna be aliens, but it's not aliens. It was gonna be fairies, but it's not fairies. And then it's something else. That's what I thought. [C: Okay.] But I thought it was also a red herring, the fairies. But they were not red herrings. They were real as hell. I thought it was a completely other episode, the counting sugar, because that one, I remember vividly, Sam ripping open the sugar packet and the monster of the week bending down to get to count it.

C: Sam going, “Why didn't I just do this in the first place?” [laughs]

G: And he was so real. Anyway, so that's what my shoddy memory did for me this episode. And now let's begin.

-

G: So for the “Then” sequence, actually, I have something to point out, which is that they butcher the speech Sam gives at the end of last episode, I feel, a little bit. Because for the “Then” sequence, they make it seem like he's just saying, “I don't care about you. I don't care about Lisa and Ben.” Like, [laughs] they remove the comedic aspects of it, and so the blow is that much more stronger. And then also, they cut it in a way where Sam isn't really explaining himself. It's important to me and to the Supernatural universe that that statement ends with like, “That's why I want to get my soul back,” you know? But of course, it's cut for purposes to make Sam seem ominous and etc etc. How dare they? How dare they do this to my beloved Sam Winchester? But it's fine. He's hilarious this episode.

G: He's really funny this episode. But again, in a way that seems over the top. [G: Yes!] Ben Edlund just went really hard in the "he's completely mean and doesn't think about anything." Like, he was able to feign social skills in the past, and there's no reason for him to have stopped now for this case.

G: Yeah. And with Dean specifically, I think the argument that they were trying to make was he was being fake with Dean, and now he's being for real, but they're making it seem like he doesn't understand when it's very clear from past episodes that he does understand, or a lot of the times, he gets why he shouldn't say that, he gets why he should do this instead. But the way he would talk to Dean was like, “No, Dean. Explain to me why," etc etc etc. And it's like, I don't think that he would have done that. [C: Yeah.] I do feel they exaggerate it to make it funny. [C: Mm-hm.] Unfortunately, it is hilarious. [laughs]

C: It's pretty funny.

G: Yeah,. So we start the episode in a lover’s lane situation, but instead of smooching in the car, they're literally on the ground. They're in a cornfield, right? [C: Yeah.] And then there's like some sound, some ominous shadows passing by, and the guy is like, “Well, what the fuck is this?” So he gets up, he heads into the hedge. There's like a giant, giant fucking light, a la how we think alien abductions are supposed to look like. And he gets abducted. And we get the splash screen, which is not simply a splash screen but an X-Files credits roll. That's very fun. [C: It is fun.] I do wonder why Supernatural does not have that. It just has a splash screen. What was the choice that was made in the- is it the writers room? Is it the production team? that was like, “We're not going to do a credits roll at the beginning.”

C: I think it's just more impactful for horror for there to be sort of a jumpscare splash screen, and then go back. [G: That's probably true.] Don't give people time to calm down between the cold open and the rest.

G: Yeah, I suppose so.

C: For mysteries, you want it to be long for people to go, “Hmm! I wonder what's happening.”

G: Yeah, that's true, because what I was thinking about was House M.D. has a pretty long intro.

C: Yeah, but they never, ever change, [laughs] even though those people are barely characters in later seasons.

G: They change- well, they change the music for it at some point.

C: Yeah, but it's still like, Cameron, Chase, Foreman. Like, only Foreman's still here.

G: Is that true? I think they change it. They don't?

C: I don't know. I'm sure there's different credits versions in different platforms.

G: My friend, who has been watching House M.D., is now at the part where Taub is a friend who is your enemy, [laughs] and that's so important! I think everyone should have a post-antagonistic relationship with Dr. Taub.

C: Yeah, I mean, he deeply sucks, but it was really funny of him to have two babies at the same time.

G: Yeah. [laughs] Literally.

C: Not as twins, because he was cheating on his wife with a nurse?

G: I don't even remember.

C: It was his ex-wife, but he was still sleeping with her?

G: And that's important. Divorce is the most romantic thing in the world.

C: It is. The X-Files credits say “Created by Eric Kripke,” and there's no Sera Gamble shout-out at all! which feels mean.

G: Yeah, I mean, it was created by Eric Kripke.

C: It was created by Eric Kripke.

G: Maybe they were just following the format of X-Files. I've not seen a single-

C: I suppose, like, they never had a showrunner.

G: Yeah, I've never seen a single X-Files episode.

C: Yeah, me neither. All I know about it is- what? There's an episode where there's a shapeshifter who like, makes out with Mulder or something, and then they never talk about it again, that he was down for it?

G: No.

C: I love queerbait applied to straight people.

G: No, I love straightbait. That's the only thing I know about X-Files, is that they were straightbaiting to Hell and back, and that's the most important thing. The second-most romantic thing after divorce [C laughs] is straightbaiting.

C: Yeah. Where's queerbaiting?

G: I think queerbaiting is at a 2.5, you know? [C: Okay.] Queerbaiting is only an offshoot of straightbaiting in my mind.

C: Yeah, okay. [both laugh] So true!

Yeah, we have a bunch of interviews from people talking about the alien abduction, and apparently, there's been multiple in this town. And there's a lot of believers here, and a sheriff who's like, "It's literally not."

G: The way it's filmed is like a documentary style, [C: Yes.] and then at the end of it, we realize that they're talking to Sam and Dean. But it is quite disconcerting to watch it thinking that like, "Oh, it's the beginning of a documentary," because it's people being like, “There are evidences.” And then the girlfriend from the cornfield just being like, "They took him!" Like, she's in distress. And then it's interspersed with all these people being like, "Woo, aliens." And then this girl going, "They took my boyfriend!" And it's like, you know, it's a bit- that's the comedy of the scene. [C: Yeah.] And then it ends, and they're interviewing these people.

C: So Marion says, “Of course it's not UFOs. It's fairies.” We'll see her later. And yeah, and Sam immediately chews into her, saying, "If you want to add glitter to that glue you're sniffing, that's fine, but don't dump your wackadoo all over us. We'd rather not step in it." [G laughs]

G: Which is crazy because like, for Sam and Dean, it is more likely to be fairies. [C: Yeah.] Like, it is a giant leap for it to be aliens.

C: It's because she's a woman, and fairies are considered girly. I think that's literally it.

G: No, it's crazy!

C: Like, remember the scene where they're in her parlor, and they're like, "Oh my god! It's disgusting that we're drinking from small teacups." Like, get over yourselves!

G: I do think this is culturally insensitive, and I mean that solemnly. [C laughs] It is culturally insensitive to talk about fairies this way! It is!

C: Yeah. To what? Ireland?

G: I mean, yeah.

C: Yeah, with the leprechaun.

G: But also, there are many places in the world who have similar concepts of like the girly, whatever. I can't believe that it's classified as girly. I don't know. People are fucking corny as hell. Why? Because they're small? Is it like a Thumbelina situation? [laughs] Why is it considered girly?

C: I don't know. They're small, associated with fairy tales, and men don't know about Cinderella, remember?

G: Oh, yeah. If I say "Thumbelina" to Dean, Sam would go, "Oh, I know her. She's my friend." [C laughs] And Dean would say, "You're gay as hell."

C: I mean, currently, Sam is saying, "You're gay as hell."

G: You know what's so frustrating? I was gonna reserve this for later, because I have a big thing about it, but it is so disconcerting to me that this entire episode, Sam is portrayed as not giving a fuck, having no sensitivity whatsoever, but when it's time to make a gay joke, he's so uncomfortable. Like, they portray him as like so uncomfortable to make it funny. And it's like, "I thought he didn't give a fuck. Why is he now so uncomfortable?"

C: I guess Sam was straight, but then, without his soul, he's gay.

G: No, I think what they were doing was that Sam without his soul- They believe that [laughs] homophobia transcends soullessness. [C laughs] It transcends soullessness. So like, you can be soulless. You're still homophobic. [laughs]

C: So true! He also says, "The only thing you're missing is a couple dozen cats, sister." I don't think he would talk like this. [laughs]

G: Have you considered that it's actually gay to speak like this, Sam Winchester? Maybe he is gay.

C: Okay, so now we're back to the "Sam is gay without his soul."

G: Yeah, maybe he is gay without his soul. We're gonna go back and forth on this.

C: Alright, sounds good. Dean pulls him away, and Sam's like, "I don't understand what I did wrong there!" And Dean's like, "You're so stupid. But I guess because you're soulless, this is correct that you wouldn't know why this is a wrong thing to say." Dean's like, "You need to be empathetic because old Sam would have. And you have to care!" And Sam's like, "What do you mean? And Dean, about what?" And Dean goes, "About everything, man! About being human, at least."

G: There's also a part where Sam goes like, "Old Sam had a soul. Or was a soul. I don't know," which is very fun.

C: Yeah, that was fun. I did like that.

G: Supernatural never really answers that, I don't think. [laughs] Well, they do. They answer it with, "You have a soul. You're not a soul," which is like, fascinating! So when you die and your soul goes to Heaven or Hell, what happens to you?

C: I don't know.

G: Your body is also there? But your body's on Earth decomposing. I don't know. We don't know.

C: Yeah. Sam goes like, "Look, Dean. You obviously care, a lot, and that's great. But I can't care about what I can't care about. Like, do you want me to fake it?" And Dean goes, "Yes."

G: Love it.

C: Yeah, this is an interesting dynamic, and I like it, but I don't have anything else to say about it.

G: I mean, it is- because we have been going with like parallels, etc. Or like, not parallels. Allegories. We have been doing an allegorical reading of Sam's soullessness. I think it does come at this point where it's not really allegorical anymore. [C: Mm.] I suppose it's it could be allegorical to like, psychopathy.

C: Yeah, I was thinking that.

G: I don't know. I don't really have much to say too other than, I don't know. Fake it till you make it. So true, I guess. But the thing is, Sam's never gonna make it unless he gets his soul back, so what is the game plan? And they haven't really worked on getting the soul back, I suppose.

C: I mean, last episode it was, yeah. Do something for Crowley and hope you can get the soul back.

G: It is about- this episode airs in November 19. So I think it's about to be the break very soon, and I do wonder when they do the break. What happens?

C: "Caged Heat" is a pretty big episode, right?

G: What?

C: "Caged Heat," 6.10?

G: Yeah, that's the one with Cas [both] and Meg. Yeah. So like, maybe that. Maybe that.

C: Yeah. Crowley's there, too, so I'm assuming a big soul development happens, so that's a good time for a break. Dean does come across as fantasy ableist- and real ableist! in this episode. Dean tells him to fake it because "If you want to be a real boy, you've got to act the part." But like, [laughs] he's not gonna be a real boy until you get his soul back.

G: Yeah. Well, I do think he mentions earlier that "You should care because Sam with the soul would have." And I think an approach to this would be, "When you get your soul back, you're gonna feel real bad about how you've been acting."

C: Maybe so, yeah.

G: And like, I think that is an approach, but Supernatural never really leans into that, which is what I think the most reasonable thing to be saying to Sam is now. Because he talks a big game about wanting to get his soul back, and then, "There are feelings during that time that were like harder but also more rewarding." And it's like, well, if, you know, when you get your soul back, you'd want to feel a little bit good about it.

C: Yeah. But yeah, Sam says that he was faking it. He was picking every single word when they were together, and it was exhausting. Which I could believe, except again, we've seen Sam doing investigations alone during episodes where he's working a case with Dean, and he was fine. [laughs] He was not particularly insensitive. And that was just so the audience didn't know that something was up or only knew a little bit that something was up. But yeah, it just doesn't work because of past events that we have seen. Dean says that he'll just be Sam's conscience the whole time, his Jiminy Cricket, because Sam's a freaking puppet. So they go to interview Mr. Brennan, who is the father of Patrick, who got abducted. And he says that Patrick was taken after Sam says he disappeared, and he keeps going, "I don't want to talk to you because you can't help me because Patrick's nevah, evah coming back." [G: Nevah evah.] And they think that it's suspicious that he feels so sure about this, but he says, "No, it's because after 72 hours the odds of finding a missing person is zero, and it's been weeks." And after Sam and Dean leave, we see Mr. Brennan talk to somebody we can't see, going, "Is that alright?" Like, "Did what I say- Was that fine? Was it not too much information?" And outside, Dean thinks that Mr. Brennan is hiding something.

G: I honestly- because, as you remember, I didn't know it was gonna be the fairies for real. [C: Uh-huh?] I thought the watch was possessed. [laughs] Like, I thought he put his son in the watch. [C: Aw, that would be fun!] I was like, "Very fun. Very fun! Yeah!" Yeah, and also, to be clear, this guy makes watches, and there's a little workshop that he lives in or stays in a lot.

-

C: So Sam and Dean split up. Dean's gonna check out the cornfield, and Sam will stay back and watch Mr. Brennan. And Dean goes, "But do not engage with, maim, or in any way kill Brennan. Don't make any judgment calls. If anything happens, call me." And Sam's like, "Okay, fine. But I was fine alone for a whole year." [G: Yeah.] But yeah, they split up.

G: It is hilarious that he was like, "Don't kill anyone." [laughs] Love that.

Dean goes to the crop circles, as you said. Stuff starts happening. He's calling Sam, and they're talking about the case. Sam is like, watching the guy in a bar, and the guy's just drinking. But then suddenly Dean gets fucking UFOed. And there's just a fucking UFO, and he's being chased, and he's running, and like, Sam is a little bit interested, but like, his general disposition is like, "Okay." He's like, "Oh, you see something, Dean?" And Dean is like, "Yes! There's a UFO!" And Sam just goes, "Stop yelling." [both laughing] Yeah, he's like, "Oh, you're choppy. I'm so sorry. I can't hear you."

C: He doesn't say "I'm so sorry." [laughs]

G: No, he doesn't say. He just says, "You're choppy." He says, "You're breaking up. I can't catch that." Literally DGAF. And Dean says, "Close encounter," which, is this a proper term?Or, you know what I mean.

C: I don't know.

G: Is it the term?

C: Yeah, would people immediately know that that was about aliens?

G: Because Sam goes like, "What kind? First or second?"

C: Apparently it is. In ufology, a close encounter is an event in which a person witnesses a UFO at relatively close range. [G: Ah.] Level one is lights in the night sky. Second is, in the daytime, you see disks. Third, there's like UFO reports with radar confirmation. Fourth is you see one for real less than 500 feet away, with detail. Fifth is when there's a physical effect like a car malfunctioning. And six is when you actually see an alien or whatever.

G: So Sam is using a wrong scale.

C: Yeah, he is.

G: When Dean says that "They're after me," Sam says, "Third kind already." And then he goes, “You better run. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.” And also, I suppose we should mention here that this episode has a lot of [C: Yeah.] rape jokes. [C: Yeah.] And specifically of this kind. "You're gonna get fucked in the ass" rape jokes.

C: Well, probed in the ass, but yeah.

G: Yeah, but that's the implication. It goes on until the fairies, [laughs] which is crazy. They were like, "Well, we gotta continue it at some point."

C: Yeah, they stopped when they were like, "Well, I guess it's actually gay, so now we can't."

G: Yeah, the fairies are real, so now it's gay for real. I don't know. It's just-

C: Yeah, it's unpleasant. It's yeah- I don't- yeah. And I feel like those were mostly Dean [G: Yeah, towards Dean.] doing those jokes in "Tall Tales," but now, yeah, Sam is doing them towards Dean. And yeah, they do a different form of rape joke when it's fairies. [G: Yeah.] Which is the "service Oberon, King of the Fairies" thing.

G: And it is disconcerting because we'll talk about it later, but there is this scene where Dean comes back and he talks about it, and he's obviously in distress. And Sam is incredibly blunt about it, and you're supposed to be like, "That's funny." When Sam says, "Oh, they took you to the probing table," and Dean goes, "Don't say it!" they're like, "Don't call it that" or something. And it's like, well, it's not fun to watch. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Dean goes, "Have some empathy, Sam." But then the phone dies, and Sam tries. He's like, "Are you there? Are you there?" And then he's like, "Not there." So he shrugs his shoulders and then eyes up a waitress that's passing by. You know what's so fascinating is soulless Sam is like- Okay. Soulled Sam is attracted to women, but he never is like, hitting them up in this way. [C: Right.] He's never like, eyeing up women. [C: Yeah.] It's just fascinating that now that's like a "when he had a soul, he didn't eye up women." [both laugh] Like, what- [laughing] what conclusion are we supposed to make here?

C: I guess just, he wanted to, but he knew not to, out of respect, and now he doesn't have that anymore?

G: He has no respect for women. Well, that's crazy.

C: Yeah. Yeah. The base male body wants to eye up women, but if you have a soul, sometimes, you know that that's not on. [G laughs] It's strange.

G: If I'm gonna think about it, I do find it fascinating the things that Ben Edlund in this episode [C: Yeah.] has defined as part of the human experience that is not- that if you didn't have a filter, this is just what it's like.

C: Yeah. Being homophobic, [G: Being homophobic.] disrespecting women-

G: And being misogynistic. And like, I do think it is representative of a worldview.

C: Yeah, and of himself, too. [laughs]

G: Yeah, [laughs] I mean, I was trying to avoid saying that, but yeah. [both laugh] It's representative of a worldview... that he has! [laughs]

C: That he has, and acts upon, or wishes he could act upon.

G: Yeah, it's just a- it's a weird thing to do, personally, I think. And there's something I don't- I think it's weird because I don't agree with it, so.

C: Yeah. I mean, Sam's doing a lot of things that Dean does also, though.

G: Yeah, they kind of- Dean Winchester is an interesting example of like- he is representative of an uninhibited man, but he's so inhibited. [C: Yeah.] You as an audience, you're supposed- I think if you're trying to do the- what do you call it when you're watching, and then there's a term, right? You're watching, and the guy's like, being so cool, and then you're watching because he's so cool. I completely forgot the term.

C: Huh? I don't know.

G: There is! You know it. We've used it so many times. I'm just blanking now.

C: Power fantasy?

G: No, there's like a voyeur- you're riding the coattails. [laughs] I can't believe I can remember that term but not whatever the fuck this is. Well, that is what Dean is. You're- something that ends with -ly. Like "egregiously watching," but egregious is not the term. You're-

C: Vicariously.

G: Vicariously watching. [laughs] You're egregiously, vicariously watching. And if you're supposed to be vicariously watching Dean, you're supposed to think that he's so cool and so uninhibited. "Look at him! He's divorced from social norms and like, expectations, and he can just be cool, and hunt monsters, and be violent, and have sex with women." But like, you look at his character, and he's the most repressed man alive.

C: In some ways, yeah.

G: What's that about? Yeah. And like, I don't know. This is a thing that- now that we're seeing Sam being quote-unquote "uninhibited"-

C: Is Dean really that repressed?

G: I think so! Very much so!

C: Like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm sure it's true because I've said it before too, but I just don't remember when he was.

G: Maybe repressed is not the term, but he is definitely always putting on a show of some kind, which is the opposite of uninhibited. If you're uninhibited, you're supposed to not think of those consequences or that image of yourself [C: Or not care.] to the world. You're not supposed to be caring about that. But Dean cares so so so so much. [C: Yeah, okay.] And his fantasy is just being cool, you know, without trying. Being effortless in it, in your masculinity. And then you look at him, and he's putting in so much effort. And like, with Sam now, they are trying to portray Sam as the uninhibited man. Now, Sam really is not putting in that much effort to come off as this embodiment of masculinity that's like, "I'm working out with oil on my body, [both laugh] and I'm having sex with women," you know? And I don't know. Supernatural, what is going on? A question of all time.

C: Yeah. One we may never answer.

-

G: Sam does go to the crop field. He brings Dean's phone, sees it, picks it up. He's like, "Mm, well. He's gone, I guess." So he goes to a UFO night. It's a bunch of mobile homes. Is that what it's called? There must be another term.

C: Trailers?

G: Trailers, yeah. There's there's a bunch of trailers, and they have set up around a circle area where they're talking about UFOs and stuff. So Sam comes in to the guy that they were interviewing earlier. His name is Wayne. We'll see him later again. And he's like, "Okay, well, they're real." He asks for "What do we do? How do we get them?" So Wayne hands him the literature, and Sam scrolls through it or shuffles through it- flips through it? Sam flips through it. And he is like, "Well, whatever the fuck is this? Because there's no way to kill anything that is listed down in here, the only essential thing to know about everything." [C: Yeah.] And also, "I can't believe that after thirty years, all you have is this stupid shit." [laughs] He's really coming down into this guy. And then at some point, the lady that we were talking about earlier comes in.

C: Oh, her name is Sparrow.

G: Was it really?

C: That's what the transcript says. I don't remember her introducing herself, though. [G: Yeah.] It might just be in the credits.

G: Sam has been talking about Dean, about how his brother was abducted, and she goes like, "Oh my god! That's so sad!" And he's like, "No, it's okay. I've had time to process it." And she goes, "Did it happen when you were kids?" [C laughs] And he goes, "No, just thirty minutes ago." They share, you know, a smile. A look, even. After Sam demolishes the guy that he's talking to, we go back to the cornfield. Dean is there. He- not "wakes up." He just shows up there. He's just there again. And he has a gun out, and he's wildly pointing it to places. And then he walks to the motel, and when he gets there, he turns on the light, and Sam's having sex. And he turns around. He goes, "Dean!" And the lady is like, "Oh my god, you're Dean! Sam, they brought your brother back!" [C laughs] Love it. Sparrow is about to head out when she turns around, and she's like, "Oh my god, Dean. I know it's like, you know, family time, etc. But I was just wondering, what happened? What were they like?" And Dean dismisses her and closes the door on her. And Sam's like, "Wow! I can't believe that you're so upset." Well, no, he just says- he is using statement terms. He says, "You're upset." So true. Dean says, "I was abducted." Also maybe true. And "You were banging Patchouli." And Sam goes, "I don't think she smelled that bad." I don't even know what patchouli is. Does it smell bad? Or is it like an herb or something that's associated with hippies?

C: Yeah, I guess it's a species of plant, so probably.

G: It's like an earthy smell. They have terrifying-looking flowers. Look at these. What the fuck is these? Terrifying.

C: They do look like mold.

G: Dean is mad because he was abducted by aliens and Sam DGAF. Dean also conveys that he was just gone for an hour, and half of that time he spent walking to the motel. And Sam's like, "That's not true. You're lying to me because you have been out the entire night. It's 4 AM now." And Sam's like, "Yeah, it usually happens. There's a time slip and everything." Sam hands Dean a drink, and Dean starts talking, and he says, "You know, there's this white light," and he's obviously struggling to get his words out. So Sam pats him in the in the knee and goes, "It's okay." And then nods sagely and goes, "It's a safe room." [laughs] He's so stupid! It is so stupid that they're doing this, but it is very fun. But again, as we've mentioned, [laughs] the context of the situation- The comedy that they were trying to do is that Dean is having a serious moment, and Sam's being incredibly direct about everything, which is what happens here. When Dean is like, "Oh, they were taking me to a table," and Sam goes, "A probing table!" and Dean goes, "No, don't say that out loud." Dean says he started like hacking and firing, etc, and then he was back on Earth. And I do wonder how this translates to now. Now that we know that it's fairies. They just made him see something else?

C: Well, he said that- he didn't see anything that was like, deceptive. He said that they were all like so bright, glowing white lights that he couldn't tell who the figures were, [G: Ah.] and the fairy we see later is a very small, glowing white light until Dean is able to see closer, right?

G: Yeah, but they also had some guy who was a guy.

C: Well, yeah, I guess they were taking human form on the Earth? But that was like, after they were summoned or whatever, right? So wherever they are, they could just be bright lights to the human eye. [G: Ah.] But yeah, I don't know why they wanted him on the table, though. It's not clear what the fairies want with abductions. Abductees?

G: Yeah, anyway, now, they go to a diner. And as they're talking, Dean's like, "Unbelievable. Aliens, real. What else is real? Unbelievable." And this entire time, Sam kind of DGAF, and then a waiter comes in and he gives her like a "How you doing?" [C laughs] And Dean's like, "Wait! Why are you doing that? [both laugh] The reality is collapsing around us, and you're flirting with a waitress." And Sam goes, "Okay, let's finally talk about the fact that I slept with that girl. So I have no soul, and-" Oh, no, he says, "Say you've got a soul, and your brother gets abducted by aliens." And Dean's like, "Well, you try everything to bring him back." But Sam goes, "No, but I did that. But then there were no more leads for the night. So I'm just supposed to suffer and sit there in the dark? There's nothing else that could be done." And Dean's like, "Yes, you're supposed to sit there and suffer in the dark! [C laughs] And you feel the loss," is what he says. And Sam says, "Well, can't I do all that, and also sleep with a hippie chick?" [C laughs] And Dean says, "No," and Sam says, "It'd be in the dark," [C: So good.] which is my best line. That is my best line, as I now say. Loved it. And Dean says, "You can't do that because you would be suffering."

C: Sam's literally right, though. [laughs]

G: I mean, I think Dean is also literally right in that if you had a soul, your soul wouldn't let you.

C: If you'd be suffering, it'd be hard for you to- [G: Yeah.] Yeah. But I think there's no moral high ground to suffering in the dark at night.

G: Yeah. Sam says, "So you're saying that having a soul equals suffering? Oh, so like when you call Lisa, almost, a million times. That's what it's about. You're saying that that's a good thing? Suffering is a good thing?" And Dean says, "I'm saying it's the only game in town." I agree with him, unfortunately. [C: What?] I know you just said that you shouldn't suffer in the dark, but like, it is what it is. You kind of do suffer. You don't have to, and there's no moral high ground to it, but it is what it is.

G: I mean, you don't have to. And also, there are exercises for distress relief.

G: I know, but sometimes, it's like, it feels good to suffer, which is, you know.

C: No, I agree with that. But that doesn't need to be a a universal whatever, yeah.

G: Ah. So what Dean is saying here that you're not agreeing is that it's the only thing to do is to suffer.

C: Yeah.

G: That's probably true.

G: I love to be miserable. Is that true? I don't think that's true.

C: Yeah, when you're miserable, you say things like, "I hate this. I'm miserable."

G: Yeah, and I don't think I am a particularly miserable person as well. Like, that's not my general disposition. I mean, about suffering, they were never wrong, the old masters, etc, you know? I think the thing here is that you're suffering, you have to understand that it does not mean that other people are supposed to be suffering as well, which is, I think, where Dean is going wrong. That's the quote I was referencing. This is about the W.H. Auden poem, oh my god! My first poem from him that I know of. It's called "Musée des Beaux Arts." I don't know how to pronounce that, I'm so sorry, French people. Except I'm not. Who give a fuck about the French? [both laugh] Am I allowed to say that, or is that actually offensive?

C: You're allowed to say whatever.

G: What languages are we allowed to be like, who give a fuck? I feel like if it's a colonizing language, [C: People do feel like making fun of the- yeah.] that's probably fine. Yeah. Well, anyway, that poem is about how, you know, when Icarus fell, people were just walking around, even though there's something marvelous happening, a boy falling out of the sky. And like, with Dean, I think that is where he- I think Dean has this perspective that if he's suffering, Sam has to suffer. So this entire conversation is not really about Sam's suffering, it's about Dean's. And yeah. And I do think the example that Sam gives of "Yeah, but the million times you almost called Lisa" is like a fascinating example, because we have already established with Sam DGAF about that, and that is a suffering that is not supposed to be seen as transcendental to Sam. [C: Right.] So that's fine. It's fine that he doesn't care about that because it's not supposed to be something that he also possesses then afterwards. But worry about Dean is something that he is supposed to possess, and therefore, Dean suffering at that moment is transcendental to Sam supposedly, and so therefore, he should also suffer, which is not something that I believe, personally. So yeah, I suppose we do agree. I just love to say that I love to suffer, even if I don't.

C: [laughs] So true.

G: I am still Catholic after everything. Dean starts seeing a guy. This is the beginning, right? He sees just a guy outside, and it disappears. The guy disappears.

C: Yeah, and he's glaring at Dean really hard, and Sam can't see the guy when Dean points him out.

They go back to the motel, and Dean is calling Sam, who's actually at the library. And he's just been doing UFO research, and not a lot is happening. "Major Tom" by David Bowie starts playing on the radio really loud, and then the lights start flickering, and then a bright ball of light flies into the room, gets really close to Dean, and he sort of squints, and he goes, "Nipples?"

G: I do love the music choice this scene. I like the vibe of the scene. It's very fun.

C: Yeah. The bright light hits Dean, and he yells, "Bitch!" [both laughing] because now that he's seen that it's a naked woman, he knows the correct slur to call her.

G: That it's not a son of a bitch, literally.

C: Yeah. And he traps the fairy in a microwave and puts it on for a bunch of minutes, and he laughs while she gets microwaved to death. [G: Yeah.] So Sam returns, and they're both looking inside the microwave. Sam sees nothing, but Dean sees splattered blood and entrails from the fairy who he microwaved. And yeah, he explains that the monster was "a little, glowing, hot, naked lady, with nipples."

G: She's a hot woman.

C: Yeah. Do we see any female fairies for the rest of this episode?

G: I don't even think so. And also, everyone else-

C: Yeah, it's because women can't make watches, and they're not hot or naked. [G laughs]

G: Women literally cannot make watches in the Supernatural universe! [both laugh] Literally.

C: Very confusing to me. Ben Edlund, what even goes on? Sam goes, "I'm not supposed to laugh, right?" And then he does make an effort because yeah, they move on. And Sam says, "One of the fringe theories is that these UFO objections are actually with ultra-terrestrials, aka fairies." And Dean agrees that that could be the case because the woman had wings. They go to Marion's trailer. Marion's the woman who was talking about fairies earlier, and her decor is there's a lot of gnomes and fairies and things like that and porcelain around, a lot of knickknacks, and she's serving them tea from very small cups, and that's a huge point of humor in this scene, I suppose, that men are drinking from small teacups.

G: The scene where Jared Padelecki, and I do mean Jared Padelecki [C laughs] is drinking from the cup is a very famous one.

C: It is. She's talking about fairies, and Dean points at one of the figurines and is like, "Oh,  that's sort of like the one I killed," but he doesn't say "killed." And yeah, Marion explains that tiny Santa Clauses and trolls and everything, goblins, they all count as fairies. And she seems very positive about them, and she mentions that only people who have been to fairyland can see them back in the real world, and they only take firstborn sons, we don't know why. And she says that she thinks that they're taken to Avalon to service Oberon, the King of the Fairies, so I mean, essentially, sexual slavery. And there's like, a moment that feels tense, but I think it's just tense because Sam's holding back laughter, and that's supposed to be the entire vibe, where he goes, "Dean. Did you service Oberon, King of the Fairies?" And he sounds very serious, but it's just because he thinks it's so so so so funny?

G: I don't think he thinks it's funny. That's not the vibe I got at all.

C: What is the vibe you got?

G: He's supposed to be like, "Uh." Like, that emotion. [laughing] I can't describe it. If it's not obvious, I'm having difficulty with my English this evening.

C: Yeah, is it just the like, I don't know, feeling- It's a very out-of-pocket thing for him to hear, so he's just going like-

G: No, this is why I find this scene weird, as I've said earlier. He shows no emotions or no consideration for sensitivity this entire episode. And now he's like- he's not laughing. He's uncomfortable. And I'm like, why would he be uncomfortable?

C: He's uncomfortable because he's trying to hold back laughter.

G: You think so? Are you sure?

C: Yeah, I mean, he repeats Marion's exact phrasing, which I feel like to me usually implies that he thinks that there's something funny or peculiar about the exact phrasing, which makes it feel like a holding back laughter thing.

G: Okay, got it.

C: But yeah, I don't know. If people have a different read, let us know. ‘Cause yeah, he hasn't shown himself to care about Dean being raped at all this episode, so.

G: Yeah. What does Dean say? He just looks over at Sam, right? Like he glares?

C: I think he just glares at him and moves on. He asks Marion, "How do we... do things about the fairies?" And Marion's like, "Oh, you wanna interact with them?" And Dean's like, "Forcefully interact." And she says to win a fairy's flavor- sorry, if you want to win a fairy's favor, you leave a bowl of fresh cream out for them. For more force, they hate iron, they burn when touched with silver, and if you spill sugar or salt in front of them, they have to stoop to count each grain. They're about to head out, but she asks them to just stay for a bit to finish their tea, and they just spend this time making fun of her for her decor. Dean calls it "cuterrific," and Sam asks for a bigger cup, but unfortunately, even though he's a man, he has to drink out of a small one! They head out, and they're like, "Well, that was wild! I don't know what to do next, but maybe let's call Bobby?" But they get a lead because they see Mr. Brennan buying a bunch of cream.

G: A flat of cream. [laughs] The fuck is a flat?

C: Like a flatbed truck? Like it was in a-

G: Ohh. That's an actual term? That's fun.

C: I don't know. I'm just guessing.

G: Oh, okay. A whole apartment of cream.

C: I don't know. I think it was like a whole- basically like a crate, but bigger, right? The floor of a flatbed trucks thing. So maybe.

G: So Sam and Dean split up. Sam's gonna keep an eye on Mr. Brennan, and Dean is gonna go to the watch shop. And as he heads in there, there's just a bunch of creature. Small guys. Like Thumbelina! [both laugh] Thumbelina is the only small girl I know, but they're all making the watches.

C: Yeah. And by small, we mean a foot tall, if shorter.

G: No, like Thumbelina. Yeah. Do people still know Thumbelina? I have not heard Thumbelina's name in so long.

C: I still know Thumbelina.

G: Who doesn't? [C laughs] A genuine question. Who doesn't know Thumbelina?

C: Some people.

G: I don't think my 8-year-old would know who Thumbelina is.

C: That's on you. You could introduce her to Thumbelina at any point.

G: Literally. Also, my 8-year-old sister. I don't have a child. So Dean calls Sam about it, and he's like, "Well, he made the deal with a bunch of fairies so they would make his watches or something." And so Sam is like, "Ugh, I'm gonna confront this guy." And so he does, and then he goes, "Did I ever mention how beautiful your work is? They're stunning. I just can't figure out how one man can make all of these watches. It's almost like a bunch of elves are working for you to make them. But that's not true, right? Except, it is true. [both laugh] A bunch of elves are working for you to make your watches." And he says, "Did you decide to trade your son for a bunch of watches? I mean, I assume you have a soul. So what's your excuse?" Love it. Do you think if Sam saw a completely bangerass watch, he'd sell Dean about it? Well, he was going to for a Coke, as [C: Yeah.] was established last last episode or last episode.

C: Is Sam a watch wearer?

G: I don't think he is.

C: I don't think so. I haven't seen him with one. He'd sell Dean for a FitBit.

G: No, Sam would tell Dean for an Apple Watch or something.

C: True, he will be an Apple Watch user, just vibes-wise, in later years.

G: It is so unfortunate that Sam and Dean are On the Road Jack Kerouac when Sam is literally, you know that term for the first wave of people to accommodate into a technology? Sam's literally that. [C: Yeah.] He literally would get an Apple Watch before everyone. He would get the Apple Visor before everyone else.

C: Is that a thing?

G: Yes!

C: We already had this conversation, maybe. Well, let's stop advertising for Apple. But yeah, I didn't know about that.

G: Mr. Brennan finally tells Sam- They are now like at the booth because this is now a booth conversation, not a bar conversation. And he says that what happened was he called on the elves simply because he just wanted to make better watches, or he wants to keep on making watches [C: Well, he couldn't.], but his hand was injured. He had-

C: No, he has Parkinson's, so it's not injury.

G: He has Parkinson's, oh! And he knows that his grandmother used to say that you can summon fairies, so he summons one, and then he wishes to be able to keep on making watches, and his hand- his Parkinson's not... do it anymore. [laughs]

C: Yeah, reduce the hand tremors from Parkinson's.

G: Yeah. He agrees, but he didn't realize that what he was agreeing to was that they were going to take "the fruit and the fat of the land," which is the term that they use, and he didn't understand that meant first-born sons. Rumpelstiltskin is the comparison that they make, and I love it so much. Literally like Rumpelstiltskin. [C: That's true.] Is it firstborn son or is it firstborn? [both] Marion said it was firstborn son. Yeah, and I don't think we did see a girl get taken. And he says that there is a way to reverse the spell, but because the fairies are in the book or in the store, and that's where the book is, he has not been able to get it. What a nightmare situation! What a horrible thing to experience this thing. But he can see the fairies, just like Dean Winchester. And as as we have this conversation, we see Dean get into a whole fiasco where the guy that has been like following him around is there and starts mimicking him as he's walking, which I do think they make this interesting- I don't really know what the purpose of this character is other than, you know, try to kill Dean later. It's never really explained, is it? You said it-

C: Yeah, I don't know. Dean tried to escape, so he's trying to bring him back, I think.

G: They're just trying to get someone to be a creepy mime, which is the vibe of this guy. He's like a creepy mime. But he mimics the way Dean walks. Dean was supposed to tackle him at some point, but then he ends up tackling a little person, and then he's calling this guy "a little fairy." "Fairy, fairy, fairy." He keeps on repeating it.

C: Yeah. [both laugh] Why? [laughs]

G: [laughing] What is up [both] with Ben Edlund.

C: I don't know. [G: Yeah.] He just loves a slur. He loves to get to say a slur and to laugh.

G: He loves to go "hehehehehe!" every time.

C: He loves to make Crowley say "fag" to refer to cigarette, right? Yeah, this is an episode where he goes, "Without a soul as a filter, you will be homophobic and make rape jokes all the time and disrespect women." This does seem to be a manifestation of him always sort of wanting to say a slur [both laugh] and coming up with plots that allow him to.

G: Well! This is happening pretty near the bar that Sam and Mr. Brennan are in.

C: Yeah, there are people nearby, and there's a little girl who screams, "Daddy!" And also, there's an Asian man there, and he's frowning and shaking his head to show that he disagrees with homophobia and ableism.

G: And then, you know, the cops show up and arrest Dean as Sam is heading out to Mr. Brennan's. And he's saying like, "Oh, don't worry, my brother and I, my brother can see the fairies, we can cover for you," etc. But then Dean is being cuffed and arrested. Sam is saying, "Hey, what's going on?" And Dean just goes, "Just fight those fairies! You fight those fairies! Fight the fairies!" What is-?

C: Why?

G: He would not say that shit. [C: Yeah.] First of all, we already know that it was the fairies, so like, if it was a reveal, if it was revealed now that "Oh, it's actually fairies!" then this would make sense, except that's not the case. And number two, doesn't he already understand that he's in trouble for potentially being a fucking hate crimer? [C: Yeah.] [laughs] And he did- I don't know. Many things going on in this episode, and all of them- well, some of them- bad. But now he's in jail, and as we said, the cop goes, "I don't even know what kind of hate crime this was." And Dean goes, "It wasn't a hate crime." And the cop goes, "If this gentleman was a full-sized homosexual, would that be okay with you?" [C laughing] And Dean says, [laughing] "I don't hate any size person or any size gay guy."

C: Separate categories! [G screams] So true. The three categories of sapient beings are person, gay guy, and monster.

G: You know, I kind of do commend Ben Edlund for getting him to say, from Jensen Ackles's mouth, "I don't hate any size gay guy." [both laugh] Like, I commend it. It's just- yeah. Hearing Jensen Ackles say "gay" is not- I don't know.

C: Every orientation.

G: Every orientation. He should have said "I don't hate any size person or any size person with any orientation."

C: Yeah, he should have said, "It's not about the heterosexual or the nonbinary."

G: No, why did Jared Padalecki say that? [C laughing] [C: Why did he say that?] Why did he say that? Why did he say that? What was the cause?

C: What did he mean? What did he think he was meaning?

G: I think he was- No, but why is it like, heterosexual and nonbinary specifically? [laughs]

C: Yeah, why are those the two?

G: I think he was trying to say that it's not about gender and sexuality. [both laughing] And of course, the main gender and the main sexuality is heterosexual and nonbinary. Yeah. So yeah, the cop goes, "Well, he's not gay, as it happens, but he is the district attorney for Tipton County." [laughs] And so- and they bring this up later as well. At the end of the episode, this is-? [C: Yeah.] Well, anyway, Dean goes like, "I'd say he's done so well for himself, considering his..." and then he pauses a bit, [C: Jesus.] and the cop looks at him and he looks at the cop, and he goes, "Considering the tough economic times."

C: Ugh. Yeah. Literally, Ben Edlund did go, "Wouldn't it be so funny if Dean was perceived as homophobic and ableist?"

G: And he was.

C: And then Dean immediately was homophobic and ableist?

G: Well, didn't you see, Crystal? He already said that he doesn't hate any size person or any size gay guy.

C: Or any size... gay... guy. [laughs] He paused.

G: He takes a pause. He goes, "Any size... gay. guy." [C laughs]

The cop doesn't buy it. And so we get a scene of Dean- and I do always love these scenes where someone is in a room or something, and they're just going around doing things in the room, walking, pacing, lying down somewhere.

-

C: Now, we cut to Sam and Mr. Brennan going inside his watch shop, and Sam obviously can't see anything, but Mr. Brennan can see that the fairies have all basically fallen asleep, or they're just very tired because they ate all that cream, and it sort of knocked them out. So he goes over to his safe and gets the book, and he starts reading it out loud in the shop. Go outside, dude! They can hear you! Maybe he needs to be near them for it to work. But yeah, he starts and he gets halfway through, and then-

G: He dies! [C: Yeah.] He gets killed! [laughs]

C: The guy who has been following Dean around stabs him in the back, and we see it as a shot of the blade going through his front in the middle of him reading. And then that guy transforms into Wayne, the UFO guy Sam was talking to earlier. And he is the leprechaun that made this deal in the first place And Sam's like, "Wow, you're so smart because you  encourage the UFO stuff so that nobody knows that it's really fairies while you abduct the firstborns." Wayne is like, "Well, who cares if you know my secret? You're so screwed," and he disappears because he has the power to. And they have an exchange where Wayne is like, "I can tell that you're missing your soul because fairy folk are all about energy, and the human soul has a certain energy," which I guess is this episode's contribution to the Season 6 overall plot. And he says, "You know, like I could get your soul back for a price." And Sam says, "That's impossible because it's locked in a box with the devil," and Wayne says, "Your devil, not mine. We can do what angels can't do because we have real magic from fairyland." And Sam's like, "Okay, sure, I have a wish I want you to fulfill," and he shoots him with an iron bullet, and it's painful, but it doesn't really actually hurt him. And then the rest of this is a continued fight scene where a fairy shows up- I guess the guy that's been following Dean shows up inside his cell and starts beating the shit out of him. And it's tense, because "Oh, no! If Sam doesn't banish all the fairies in time, then Dean will die!"So yeah, Sam's struggling a lot, too, he's losing. And then he remembers to throw a bunch of salt on the floor, and Wayne, he goes, "Oh, no!" and he starts stooping down to count. Sam goes, "Why didn't I do that earlier?" So true. And while the leprechaun's counting, Sam finishes up the spell, and all the fairies vanish, and Dean's fine.

In the last scene- I think this is so interesting. I like this so much. Because, okay, Sam and Dana are by the car, and Dean offers him a beer, and he goes, "Nah." And we're so used to the two of them having a beer at the end of a case. It's like a bonding moment. Both of them enjoy this activity. And at this point, you realize that Sam only wanted to drink when he had a soul like, for Dean's feelings? [G laughs] Like, he doesn't enjoy this post-case ritual. There's nothing in it- Like, it was purely sentiment. He doesn't like beer. Earlier, when Dean comes back, Sam pours him a drink and tells him to drink, but he never drinks in this episode. Have we seen Sam, soulless Sam drink in general, in fact?

G: I'm not sure.

C: Like I don't recall it happening. I think he is not into it.

G: That's interesting. That's interesting. Let's keep on observing it.

C: Yeah, he's purely a social drinker. Yeah. And they're like, "We weren't ableist enough this episode. Let's do it again." So Dean cheers to, quote, "the tiniest DA" because he dropped the charges against Dean. He shouldn't've. And then Sam goes, "Little big man." Why? Why? I mean, "why" is ableism.

G: No, it's just, you know, we have talked about how Supernatural has a tendency to do things where they would have a person who is not their usual fare of character in Supernatural and do a big deal of pointing out such. And here, obviously, they put in a little person here so Dean can hate crime the guy, which is already insane. But post-hate crime, too, it's the only thing about him? Post-hate crime? What's going on?

C: Yeah. [laughs] What the fuck is going on? And then they move on because Dean's like, "Do you think the leprechaun really could have gotten your soul back?" And Sam's like, "No, probably not." And Dean's like, "I mean, why did you say no?" And Sam just says, "‘Cause it's a deal, and deals are bad," and blah blah blah. And Dean's like, "Okay, sure, but I think it's because you secretly don't want your soul back." And Sam's like, "What?? No. That's crazy." [laughs] And then the episode ends. [G laughs]

G: Literally. I mean, are we supposed to be on Dean's side of suspicion, or on Sam's side of, "[British] Dean, I can't believe you would be suspicious."

C: I think we're supposed to be on Dean's side, even though I don't think that not wanting to get his soul back had anything to do with Sam killing the leprechaun. But I think we are supposed to suspect because Sam's questions this episode have all been like, "Why do I have to do that? Having a soul is literally just suffering? Like, okay." So yeah, that's the episode.

G: Yeah. Well, what did we think of it?

C: I did not like it particularly.

G: It's less fun than I was led to believe it would be, given that it is a very famously funny episode, or known to be as such. I do think it proposes interesting things and funny things about Sam's characterization as soulless Sam, but not in a way that continues on the more interesting aspects of the season, and also, it absolutely lacks subtlety on it. [C: Yes.] AndSupernatural is not the kind of show where you demand subtlety, but like, it's nice when it happens! [laughs]

C: Yeah, I appreciate subtlety.

G: When it happens, they do it good sometimes! And so it is a little bit sad that they don't do it good this time. [C: Yeah.] Or they don't do it at all. Best Line/Worst Line? My best line is, in fact, "It would be in the dark." [C laughs] He's so real for that. It would be in the dark. [C: Yeah.] It's like, sometimes when I go to sleep, when I'm supposed to be doing something, and I turn the light on, so I'm asleep with the light on, I'm like, "I'm not working, but I'm asleep with the light on, so I-" [both laugh]

C: Yeah, you are. I also like that exchange just in general. The whole conversation, "Are you supposed to just sit there in the dark and suffer even when there's nothing that can be done at the moment?"

G: I do suppose I also like that Dean brings up Lisa [C: That Sam does?] because we haven't really seen- Yeah, that Sam does, because we haven't really seen it be around that much, or we have, but always Dean checking his phone, and we've never really spoken about it in Supernatural. Supernatural hasn't really addressed it in that way. And so it's fun for it to be addressed, I would say.

C: Yeah, I suppose so. [laughs] "Lisa, please pick up! It's so hard to explain that I was a vampire! We need to meet up so I could tell you the one sentence 'I was a vampire'!" [G: Literally.] Worst line, probably- there's a lot. [laughs] There's a lot of them. I feel like everyone knows what the worst lines are. They're just all the ableist and homophobic ones.

G: Yeah, I did severely dislike "Did you service Oberon, the King of the Fairies?" And I also don't like the fact that that's a semi-famous fandom line.

C: It is.

G: Yeah. And also the implications on Sam's character of that line, I also don't like. Spreadsheets. Spread those sheets. [C: Well.] Well, we have quite a bit. We kind of already do have a honorary category of ableism. [C: Yeah.] I said at the end of Season 5 that we were gonna add it for real, but we didn't end up doing it.

C: I forgor.

G: We literally forgor, but that's okay. We can just remain it to be honorary.

C: Okay, [both] misogyny. Sam disrespects women.

G: Yes, but there is also a misogynistic attitude behind the way they treat Marion. [C: Yeah.] So I would say, I give this- It's casual enough, I give it 2 or 1.

C: Yeah, I was thinking 1.

G: Okay. Racism.

C: I don't remember any.

G: I did say it was culturally insensitive. [laughs]

C: Yes.

G: But I am not including it.

C: I mean, the fairies that they make fun of in this episode are pretty Western culture.

G: Yeah, but I don't know.

C: Yeah, it's fucked.

G: I just hate the gender- Why are we making monsters gendered? It's always egregious, too. The fact that witches are like, the girl monsters, [both laugh] and they're "bitches!" You know, Dean loves to say that.

C: You know, I'm gonna up the misogyny to 2 now that I think about it more. But yeah, nothing on racism, or?

G: I would say nothing on racism.

C: [both] Homophobia. I think it's intrinsic.

G: This has got to be- It's intrinsic. I would say it's a 4.

C: Yeah, I was thinking 4, too. Alright.

G: And I do think the ableism is the same. It's also 4.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Well, good job, Ben Edlund. If we add the honorary points, then you have 10 this episode. [G laughing]

G: Go, Ben! Love that!

C: Go, Ben!

G: Well, IMDb? I am that Db. This is 6.09. So it's odd. It's your turn.

C: I mean, this is iconic regarding the humor. I've seen people talk about it a lot. But I also think it's like, not good, [laughs] so.

G: Yeah. The episode, it's an iconic episode, but not because of the quality of it, is the thing. [C: Yeah.] It's about other things.

C: Yeah. So... 8.1?

G: Okay, 8.1. I'm gonna go higher than you, because I do believe in the power of [both] humor. I would go 8.4.

C: Oh, wow!

G: Yeah. Okay, let's see. Ah! It's an 8.3.

C: Good job. [G: Thank you.] I'm losing so so so so hard this season.

G: Yeah. "A funny joke with the X-Files." What is the deal with X-Files? What is the twist of it? That it's like, actually [both] aliens-

C: I think it's aliens.

G: - when they think it's like the FBI shit?

C: Okay, this person says that this was funny, but they're missing good old Sammy now. "I hope they don't stretch it any further because it would turn the humor into sheer annoyance."

G: This one says that "It was interesting to see Supernatural tackle fairy lore, which actually has a lot more horror potential than most people realize." And they talk a bit about how it was the Victorians who started to romanticize them, and then Disney, "but if you read some of the older tales or listen to still current ones in rural Ireland or Scotland, fairies are anything but cute and harmless." I wonder- they don't do a Filipino lore situation at any point in Supernatural. They do an Indonesian one?

C: Do they?

G: I'm pretty sure. In "The Chitters." They have an Indonesian monster. I do think this has been- I don't know if I've mentioned this in the podcast before, but the global, you know, lore of stuff like this is so rich, I would say especially in southeast Asia. It's like- I think we are a region that is famously like, people believe in that shit. And I've actually read some papers on this where the take is that when you're in a country with that much colonial and also dictatorship violence, and there's a lot of censorship, it happens that your mythical lore or the mystical creature and haunted and ghost shit is much higher. I think I've said in this podcast that I actively believe in ghosts and creatures and stuff. I don't know. It's not like I want Supernatural to tackle them. [both laugh] But like, I do- for this one specifically, I understand that there are people who believe in this, you know? And so I feel a little bit more- this is more akin to me to when they- I mean, obviously, it's a different thing, but this is like closer to me when they make fun of gods [C: Right.] than they do when they talk about vampires or werewolves. I think that's where my pushback against it is coming from. [C: That makes sense.] Yeah, even though it's not- obviously not from my culture. But yeah. [C: Yeah.] This one says, "I believe, clap clap clap clap clap emoji." That's pretty fun. [laughs] But they think it's an incredibly funny episode. Not true. Not funnay.

C: Not true. "For some reason, I like the first episodes in Season 6 where Sam has no soul. When he is normal, he is a more weak and always end himself up being hit by the monsters." [both laugh] Sam got hit pretty hard in this episode, too!

G: Oh, Robert Picardo from Star Trek is here. Who is that guy? Robert Picardo... Oh, he is from Star Trek: Voyager, which I have not seen. That's fun that they put him in here. He was Mr. Brennan. Or was he the leprechaun? I'm not sure.

C: I don't know.

G: That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 6, Episode 10: "Caged Heat." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi- Oh, especially that last person. Thank you!

G: Oh, that's very nice. Yeah, thank you.

C: Yeah, thank you. I guess you said that you were just finishing Season 1 when you gave us that money, so it's gonna be a long time before you get here, if you even do. But thanks! [G: Yeah!] But yeah, thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[z0mbdino]

Liveblogging Supernatural (but I forgor the first 10 episodes)

This show is stressing me tf out why would you put your hand into a hole with thousands of worms, Dean Winchester

Also so much evidence destruction please stop touching things at active crime scenes 😭😭

The cops in this universe are probably so confused why these two's fingerprints are at every crime scene all over America

This native guy hates dean and he just met him, I love this dude

This show is gonna be the death of me, daddy and mommy issues is a deadly combination

These two dumbass men need therapy, half of their reccuring problems would be solved if they just talked to eachother

Dean said "psycho killer" and now all I can think of is the "Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est" thingie lol

The first rule of using tasers is DON'T STAND IN WATER.

Dean is giving Eddie in the first Venom movie rn

Why does this show love blonde women so much??? There's so much blonde wtf

I'm assuming we're about to meet the angel dude, Deans fucking dying

Sam is very frustrated by his brother's stubbornness. Sir you are dying rn why don't you give a shit

Omg Dean is dead

No wait he's fine

Wow that priest guy might actually be legit

Dean is so sassy sometimes I love him

This priest guy definitely sold his soul to the devil or something

"I have this thing" and it's a brain tumor- that's the funniest thing ever wtf

What is Dean's necklace

Dean is not concerned that he's about to die when the next dude gets healed, honestly good for him

I think I misunderstood how this works

Why would you heal an old guy he's gonna die soon anyways

This show was made before I was born but it's so interesting, that seems like a pattern with the shows i like (house md, SVU, doctor who, etc, etc)

Omg he's killing "sinners" :0

Welp rip that guy

Bad Sue Anne, we don't kill people.

The Lord will deal with him by giving him an angelic homosexual situationship

Sue Anne! That kills people!! /ref

This blind old man is gonna die, so is dean

Sam, if you don't punch that woman in the face right now I'm gonna fight you

Yay he punched her

Rip Sue Anne and her blind husband

These two definitely act like siblings, kudos to the writers

Who's at the door? LAYLA

She's so pretty

Preemptive Rip for Layla

I'm an atheist but good for Layla, sticking to ur beliefs

So sad, anyways no angel guy, I was wrong

That's a big ass truck

Is the truck racist or is there a spirit driving the truck

Rip that guy damn, his car's a pancake

God damn ghost truck

My man dean's got double standards

"Accidents" three car accident deaths in as many weeks, all black men all the same circumstances. I don't think that's a coincidence, sir

Dean you can't just prod like that and shut her down bro

I love Cassie she says what I'm thinking

Apologizing! Now stop kissing her her dad just died

OH GOD THEY'RE FUCKING EWWW

hmm the floor here is made out of floor

Bruh why is this so long I just wanna get back to mystery

Hi racist old guy, thanks for saving me from that

RACIST TRUCK OH NO

DON'T KILL HIM WTF???

DEAN STOP FLIRTING A MAN IS DEAD

Why does his whole "don't tell people ur a ghost hunter" thing sound like an allegory for coming out

😎🙂🕶️🤏🤨

dean is so smart with ghosts but so dumb with emotions

OH NO THE RACIST TRUCK IS GONNA KILL CASSIE

she closed tge blinds WELL NOW IT KNOWSUR HOME DUMBASS

oh her mom is white, I just thought I was a dumbass

Cassie's mom fucking murdered that guy

Good for you Martin, kill that racist asshole

How are they not used to seeing rotted bodies at this point?

Racist truck boss battle

Damn sick drifting bbg

Ooh it's snowing!

Bro is bullfighting a racist truck, el Matador

Sam is so brother core, "honestly it hadn't occurred to me" SIR YOU COULD'VE KILLED DEAN

rip, getting dumped for the second time by the same girl

Stop kissing this girl in front of your brother Dean

Sick sunnies, Dean

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 186(?)

Sacrifice/The Power of Three

“Sacrifice”

Plot Description: What must Sam, Dean, and Castiel sacrifice to seal the gates of Hell? With Kevin’s help, the Winchester brothers have one last play against Crowley

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Jody almost died but no one actually did

This has been a WILD season…

OMG Crowley, get away from Jody.

Oh good, they finally sent Kevin to the bunker

He comes off so kindly…but I KNOW Metatron fucking sucks

I love Crowley’s twenty foot long contracts

OMG THEYRE GONNA TRY TO CURE CROWLEY OF BEING A DEMON. Honestly, the way they tricked him and slapped the demonic handcuff on him to Dean was…not bad.

CAS you can’t just ask people their kinks in public in the middle of the day. This is why you only took on a couple hunting jobs (well, that and being on the run from heaven most of this season). ITS TEN AM?

I can’t remember heaven’s specific beef with Metatron (except perhaps God’s personal scribe being away for so long)

Thanks, Dean…….you’re very helpful getting Sam prepared to go to confession to cleanse his soul, listing every single thing he’s done wrong this series

I know I spent all of this season’s penultimate episode being a Castiel apologist and telling Dean to be nicer to him, but umm…Cas, baby, they’re preparing for the LAST TASK to shut the gates of hell forever. You SURE this can’t wait??

Dean’s in the biggest lose-lose situation. He’s so…eldest daughter coded. There’s so much expected of him, to take care of everyone, pulled in every direction he’s needed

Poor Kevin. He’s just a KID. And so much is being asked of him, too. Too much.

This is quite the “last night on earth” talk between Cas and Dean…and then they watch two dudes fall in love?? Hello??

Oh Crowley, you should NOT have been so cocky. She hates BOTH of you, but she’ll get rid of Sam momentarily and mostly unharmed to kill you herself

Damnit, god forbid women do ANYTHING on this show. No, we gotta light them on fire when they try to kill the demon who usurped the throne of hell from the fallen angel they served

Um what?? This is a good monologue, but I don’t trust Crowley at ALL. I don’t trust that it’s real

See, here’s the thing. Yeah, Naomi sucks but I don’t think she’s lying. She’s a very straightforward angel who just happens to be awful a lot of the time

DAMMIT. When I said Dean was in the worst lose-lose situation, i didn’t mean for it to get THIS BAD. The trials are about to kill Sam (which, like…he’s not been doin great for a while, this isn’t a surprise) and now Cas is gone to try to fix heaven when we were JUST TOLD that Metatron was lying, that he’s trying to expel all the angels from heaven…he has no control over either situation

Omg. The one who has always seen a light at the end of this, who has very explicitly wanted to find something outside of hunting is no longer fazed by the prospect of dying in order to close hell

I forgot that Cas gets his grace taken from him

So, we end the season with the gates of hell NOT closed and hundreds maybe thousands of angels expelled from heaven. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

“The Power of Three”

Plot Description: the Doctor and the Ponds puzzle over an unlikely invasion of Earth

I can’t wait to see who wrote this one because what is it with Moffat-run shows and having the titular character, his married companions (one of whom there’s definitely a tension with said titular character), and having an episode called “The _____ of Three” that I’m watching this month??

Hmmmm, interesting. (Yeah, this episode and the one I watched the other day, I have like NO memory of)

Excuse me?? Why is, like, a swat team coming into the Ponds’ house??

The DISGUST with which the Doctor says “Twitter”…did he know??

Why can he be a normal-ish person, experiencing time in a linear fashion with CRAIG of all people but can’t sit still around the Ponds for more than five minutes?

Uuugggghhhhhh the way they’re growing away from him as they try to actually establish their lives where they are, both professionally and socially. But also, he’s always kept them at arm’s length, so it’s not surprising. BUT ALSO KNOWING WHAT’S COMING NEXT EPISODE

Oh FINALLY the cubes are starting to DO SOMETHING. It’s nothing GOOD.

Oh, Briannnnn…he’s so (rightfully) worried for Rory and Amy

Domestic Doctor and Ponds ❤️❤️ something you never thought you’d see

I can’t decide what these cubes are a good metaphor for…

This conversation between Amy and the Doctor is reminding me a little of the one from the last Christmas special. He knows they’ll stop coming with him at some point, but he keeps coming back as long as they’ll go with him. Because what’s the point of having them with him now if he’s going to lose them later? Because he’s going to lose them later (I’M NOT CRYING. YOU ARE)

I hope we get more of Kate Stewart at some point. She seems like a really good character to have around

This show poses some really interesting ethics questions without really following through on them. The Shakri want to eliminate the threat of humans colonizing space, but they haven’t done it yet……..it’s just. It’s too interesting to not follow through on

[therarepairimpala]

role swap!rowichael (aka angel!rowena and witch!michael)

because i love female archangel aus

dean is still rowena’s true vessel, because we’ve already established that the angels don’t necessarily care the gender of their vessel

yes michael is crowley’s father in this au and yes you can imagine how that’s gonna go

rowena is just as strict as michael, but much flirtier (i wouldn’t say she “loves” humanity, necessarily, but she finds it fun)

michael may be an arrogant witch, but he shows kindness to his students (namely, sam)

he does make a comment that “are we sure that it’s only one sister? i haven’t seen luci in a while” and rowena almost smites him for talking about her brother

the feelings happen on accident. michael flirts with her as a distraction and she’s surprised that she feels something small in her chest. a small, little feeling.

they insult-flirt and play fight, much to the confusion of those around them (sometimes even they don’t know when they’re being serious)

it’s honestly better that they’re on separate sides because they could probably beat god themselves if they worked together. every time they agree on something they’re almost unstoppable.

enemies to allies to lovers

michael claims he doesn’t want to fight Rowena as dean because he doesn’t want to hurt dean as a vessel, but that’s only half true

michael is mad at himself for loving an angel but at the same time he comforts himself saying “well, lucifer is an archangel and i have to work with him sometimes so this isn’t so different, right?”

“do you think i’m beautiful enough to be an angel?” “not by a mile” before kissing him

“do you think i can make an angel fall in love with a spell? …has anyone tried?”

michael is much quieter than rowena, but just a tad bit crueler. and takes a little more joy in his work.

“I thought witches were women” “…it would be wise to remember you’re in my domain, Winchester.”

crowley hates this the most because he does NOT want an angel mother as the king of hell (rowena likes to tease him about this. she’s more affectionate to michael when Crowley is around and refers to herself as crowley’s step mother)

“maybe i can defeat hell by marrying into it-“ “if you get near my father i will start to apocalypse myself”

they end up making the nephilim instead /j

[the-supernatural-rewatch-project]

s1ep1 "Pilot"

welp here we go again! the first episode of my two year long supernatural rewatch project! im pressing play, let to fuckery begin.

bullet points are thoughts as i watch, paragraphs are my closing comments!

Why do I pay money for amazon prime if they are gonna show me ads before what im trying to watch???

happy John Winchester feels incorrect, like where’s the assholery.

And poor Mary, dying for no good reason except to forward the plot.

AND FUCK AZELZEL or however you spell his name. They were so happy, they were a family!!! And yeah so what Mary was from a line of hunters or whatever BUT THATS RETCON!!!

god its been six?? years since I first saw supernatural but still the image of Mary of the dealing face screaming out in pain as the flames engulf the room is so chilling.

DAMN??? Sam got a 174 on the LSAT??? Good for him, i assume all I know about the lsat is from legally blonde.

justice for Jessica honestly, such a great girlfriend and Sam was a little shit.

Okay sam being all home defence over dean creeping around in the dark is kinda cute.

Sam and Jess were just a happy couple, Jess didn’t deserve all that.

“Dad hasn’t been home in a few days” “dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days” two sentences that make me regret starting this rewatch project.

“not normal, Safe” YEAH YOU TELL HIM SAM!!

I try and deny it but i am a sam girl.

DEAN TWENTY SIX??? oh my god, and still that attached to daddy.

Sam and Deans upbringing was basically a cult.

“you know there’s evp on that” yeah sam, its called static.

Sam should have become a lawyer. He wouldn’t be good, but it wouldn’t be hunting.

I LOVE YOU JESS, DATE ME NOT SAM!!! I would NEVER get you killed.

Oh yeah, this episode is a woman in white.

tits out, dead a fuck, “take me home” yeah I would 100% let her kill me.

Now that I remember this is a woman in white episode, i remember the plot of it. I actually really liked this episode’s monster of the week aspect. the woman in white was a compelling victim and perpetrator, and i really felt for her.

“it’s the greatest hits of mullet rock”

“driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole”

god I hate hate HATE the fbi badges, you two are babys, infants, CHILDREN!! Yall are NOT FBI agents!!!

“Why do you have to talk to police like that??” Damon Sammy? What kinda lawyer were you tryna become??

Oh yeah they are talking about dad again, this episode feels like it rapidly swings from feeling like any monster of the week episode of supernatural OR any plot driven episode.

um holy shit…. Dean shoving Sam against the pilled. Perhaps i know why wincest was the big ship until cas was introduced. (I mean like i dont ship it, but i can see why)

Okay the car driving itself was fun.

lmao dean at the edge of the river looking like a drowned fish is hilarious.

“you smell like a toilet” I’ve been reminded that supernatural wasn’t written for teen/young adult queer women and was actually written for white dudes.

“No chick flick moments” see my previous point.

“Jerk” “bitch” I hate this.

women in white are just so good, i love them.

ahhh the introduction of dads journal. The biggest problem solver in the entire fucking series.

this poor husband, kids gone, wife gone.

Jesus fucking christ, that jump scare jumped me scarred.

this poor girl, she just wants to go home.

kill him!!! I don’t want to watch another fifteen seasons of this horseshit

“Im taking you home” cringe alert 🚨

awww he’s not dead :(

Awww the kid ghosts :,(

wow that 2005 cgi does not hold up.

“If you screwed up my car, I’ll kill you” okay isnt the car the car that John brought Sam and Dean up in? How did the car become deans? John doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to buy himself a new car when the old one will do, and he certainly isn’t the kind to give his kid his car.

JESS MY BELOVED DONT DIE

How did Sam and Jess afford this huge fucking apartment?

NOOOO SHES DEAD!!!

Well first episode done, i am not 0.00305810397% of the way done supernatural! Why have I cursed myself with this burden.

Overall I did really like this episode! I think that it does create intrigue into the storyline, while also introducing the monster of the week format. However I wish they did a better job a meshing the two together, it did feel like I was watching two separated shows that happens to smashed together. One monster of the week and one plot driven.

As for the monster of the week, I like women in white, i think they are a cool narrative function and aren’t region specific, they also aren’t indigenous folklore or spirituality significant / revered figures something that supernatural has a tendency to uh…. Lets say butcher, something that i can’t wait to deal with next episode.

For the arc’s plot I do think it does what it set out to do… introduce the plot of the show. Two brothers trying to find their father, who has gone missing. That’s really all I can say because honestly this arc was my least favorite the first time I watched supernatural I cant see that changing this time.

[billiewena]

saw someone make a comment about how “there’s no proof sam winchester isn’t straight!!” and it made me realize how new this side of spn tumblr is to bi/pan/nonbinary/queer sam. the history of it, the evidence for it, and most importantly...how fun it can be!!

as someone who’s been in the trenches in both the samgirl/desticule side of tumblr over the years I thought it’d be fun to share some LGBT Sam Winchester History (Herstory? Theirstory?) for anyone new to queer sam headcanons but still interested!

sam winchester: COULD he be any gayer??

the facts

disclaimer #1: a lot of these are purely for headcanon purposes only and even if sam was canonically lgbt, I don't think he'd be the best rep all of time for it versus other canon queer characters. my goal was to help non-sam blogs understand where the interpretations come from in the first place and how it's not too dissimilar to the way Destiel fans react the shows' homophobic writing

disclaimer #2: a lot of destiel shippers got into supernatural for destiel. that’s not and shouldn’t be controversial? joining spn tumblr doesn’t come with a welcome pamphlet and it’s a show with 300+ episodes. people shouldn’t be expected to have analyzed every aspect of it and know every behind-the-scenes fact. people are STILL discovering new details even in 2021. this is not a “why isn’t anyone talking about this??” post (I hate those posts) but hopefully a "queer sam for newbies.”

writer and s6-s7 showrunner sera gamble supported a MLM reading of sam as early as s2, revealed in the commentary for the episode “bloodlust”. in the episode, sam has a flirtatious exchange with the bartender eli (coincidentally played by ty olsson, later known for playing benny.) however it’s implied that gamble was shut down as robert singer referred to her queer sam headcanons as nothing more than “sick twisted fantasies”

while this is the only known and confirmed instance of fully intentional queer subtext (similar to dean’s moment with aaron in S8) there have been a few other questionable exchanges with sam and men on cases, i.e. patrick the gambler witch from 5x07 or paul the bartender from 5x17 (both featured in this great gifset). notably, both most instances including these two happen in episodes by gamble.

(sidenote: there’s theories that the main character on sera gamble’s The Magicians is VERY similar to sam and this was sorta her way of having a queer sam-esque character. it is a good show, just know it does NOT end happy for the character in question. the character of quentin doesn’t use any specific labels but is in relationships with men and women in the show all while being a floppy-haired, bookish but powerful nerd just like sam!)

while sam has interacted with both male and female crossroads demon, he has ONLY summoned male ones on his own (check my own breakdown of the history of crossroads demon gender on the show)

sam refers to past/potential love interests with gender neutral pronouns (examples). his actor has also done this in the past when referring to sam's relationships.

he understands terms used in the gay community, i.e. fifth base

some of the fun evidence we use for trans!dean (i.e. the photo ID that says “F” for birth sex) has also happened to sam!

his reaction to seeing a shirtless man in bed

brady is referred to as sam’s demon lover and crowley implies that the two have "history.” I’d compare the popularity of sambrady in the sam fandom to deanlee in the destiel fandom; it’s generally headcanoned that there was indeed a complicated, college relationship there that becomes even more complicated when a demon possesses him. it wouldn’t be the only past love interest of sam’s to be possessed by a demon either.

the 👀

when dean makes jokes like “could you be anymore gay?” sam actually looks pensive like “huh? COULD I be?” this is very much how I would respond to this kind of joke if my roommates made it and we are LITERALLY all queer

he owned a purple dog shirt...is that straight behavior to you.

he’s a canonical theater kid who took an art history course (for “picking up girls” which sounds a lot like an excuse he’d give to not reveal he did it for gay reasons) AND was attached to his high school English teacher, like pick a struggle

he had an imaginary friend as a kid (sully my beloved) with some light queercoding of his own i.e. rainbow suspenders. sully encouraged him to love himself and to not listen to/be like his family

dean has literally microaggressed sam 10x more than sam has microaggressed dean. I would literally go sleep with a guy just to spite him after the 60th comment.

in general, sam’s story is just...queercoded af. “son is treated as wrong and a freak by his father until he leave home at the age of eighteen?” that’s queer baby!! and I get it, I too moved to college in a state I knew my family would never visit as soon as I could!! alexa play The Village by Wrabel.

and lastly but most important (and I say this as a bi!dean truther because helloooo look at my blog)...at no point has sam ever said he is straight. dean has said they are (“we don’t swing that way” in response to victor henrickson) but sam never said anything regarding his sexuality.

are you into the idea of queer sam but don’t know where to start? here are some of my favorite arguments for the different readings along with some personal interpretations and headcanons!

why I think bi/pan/queer/labelless sam is sexy:

saileen, samruby and samjess all feel like bi4bi couples let’s be real here

demon lover brady could’ve actually been his demon lover! the trauma of your college boyfriend / probably first gay experience being a monster used against you??? lifelong disorders! it also wouldn’t be the first time a demon possessed a former sam love interest.

sam’s not hung-up on any of the things dean is hung-up on. labels or orientations, he’s always been open to all of it. just like how sam can listen to a celine dion album or drink “vegetable water” without thinking twice about it. to me, it’s all about how sam has always been comfortable with his sexuality and it not being a big deal for him, and dean just...hasn’t lol.

sexualty is a spectrum! sam can still prefer women and in fact has excellent taste in them (have you seen his girlfriends? have you? this may be the samcoding talking...)

while the majority of queer sam fans ship with him with castiel (and who can blame them, it’s CAS) there’s other cute boyfriends out there for him too:

- max banes, the cool and canonically queer witch from s12. in their first scene together, he defends sam from a stranger asking about his trauma! a man that respects sam’s boundaries? sexy af. also witch!sam and max banes?? sexy af. in general there was so much more the show could’ve and should’ve done with the banes twins, and exploring that through sam’s pov would’ve been fascinating because you know he would try to help max & alicia and understand why he did what he did!

- mick davies, aka sam’s “nerd soulmate” as dean refers to him. sam and mick get each other and bond over their love of learning and making the world of hunting a better place! mick even turns against the BMOL to side with them (but unfortunately dies before that can be realized.) oh, society if mick was resurrected instead of ketch and got to be nerdy bfs with sam...

- one episode-icons patrick the witch (what’s it with sam and witches amiright), paul (my personal beloved) and brady the demon and/or human (a given)

- crowley! while its peak popularity was probably pre-samwena and the drowley summer of love, the samcrowley fandom (formerly known as "moosely" now usually referred to as "cram") is STILL alive and kickin’. they even have cram mondays now!

- and can’t forget ol’ gabriel the archangel. sabriel is a classic “opposites attract” pairing that’s existed ever since sam puppy-dog eyed his way out of a timeloop and you know what? for good reason. two words: height differences.

sam being an ally isn’t nearly as fun to me as sam being out for years and just waiting for his idiot brother to catch up so he can get the stick out of his ass so he can then list of a list of microaggressions dean has made over the years. I think he deserves it.

why I think gay sam is sexy

this post is basically the gay sam manifesto so I’m stealing from there but

basically there are multiple instances where a girl comes onto sam and he very harshly rejects them (i.e. the iconic “I’m lactose intolerant”) and I think it’s funny okay. I love you gay sammy.

why I think nonbinary/he & they sam is sexy:

again, the whole “not hung up on labels” thing. sam using gender neutral pronouns for his past relationships means it makes total sense for them to also refer to themselves with gender neutral pronouns.

a lot of sam’s journey on the show is about their body autonomy and lack thereof (and whatever mother mother was singing about in “body” and ajj in “body terror song”) to me, trans/nonbinary sam is just him reclaiming their body and making it their own again. a chance to heal and be confident in their identity and sense of self.

sam/sammy is literally the perfect nonbinary name!! they struck the gender neutral name LOTTERY I’m so goddamn jealous

long hair, don’t care! nonbinary people have the freedom to mix & match whatever gender expressions they want because they owe no one androgyny.  I love the idea that sam’s always been into having more traditionally feminine hair that’s it’s become part of their identity, and one of the most iconic aspects of their character, while dressing and presenting traditionally masculine otherwise.

sam’s actor has vocally supported it he/they sam headcanons! am I a fan of his? of course not! does it still matter just as much as jensen saying dean’s side of the confession is open to all interpretation? yes! actors do not make and cannot make anything canon, but being supportive of it IS still nice and encouraging! can you imagine if misha hadn’t been so open to queer readings of cas? can you imagine if his support was taken away from you? it’d suck!

I’m samcoded and also a they/them, so like...they/them solidarity I guess????

why I think trans!masc sam is sexy:

see less love for this but so far every FTM Sam fic I’ve read has made me cry so that’s gotta be something right

speaking of “makes me cry”, THIS TRANS SAM COMIC BY @kimodraw MAKES ME FULL-ON SOB PLEASE READ IT

there’s lots of interesting show details that could be used as evidence just like trans!dean headcanons (sam being called “samantha” in mostly derogatory manners being deadnaming, the F on his ID that one time, etc.)

sam going from Baby Boy to Buff AF? that’s just the T!

sam + cahartt hoodie = transmasc swag

the john, sam and dean dynamic is only intensified if he was seen as the precious daughter that must be protected (and not as a living person) and adds even more layers when sam return to the family as a man

there is also something compelling about sam becoming a man in a family with such a warped view of masculinity & wanting to redefine the definition of a “man” for himself

as far as headcanons, this post has so many beautiful headcanons of sam growing up trans

sam coming to embrace who he is in college, jess being openly supportive of sam as soon as he comes out, jess joining sam on his appointment to get his top surgery, jess proudly loving her boyfriend as the man he’s grown to become...goddamn it I’m crying again...

why trans!femme sam is sexy (bonus points if it’s trans!lesbian sam):

update: I have been leaning away from this and think this post explains it well (thanks queersamofficial for sharing) but would love to hear from trans!femme fans who want to talk about it! in general, this is a very fanon-heavy interpretation (similar to witch!sam) and think it’s important to know that. tho I always support more trans headcanons over cisswaps/genderbends.

since this is the masterpost tho...all you DO need to know is that sam winchester is very popular with the lesbian spn fan community (science cannot explain this) and there are storylines and moments that I think resonate with sapphic fans similar to how dean resonates with trans!masc fans and cas resonates with ace/demi fans. I even made a post about one. would love to hear people talk about it!

anyways, if you are a fan of trans!femme sam...

known lesbian icon velma from scooby-doo having a crush on sam when they first meet? well...

trans!femme AND witch!sam? best combination known to man, the POWER that has, the IMPACT that has---

trans!femme divorcing herself from not only her old self but her family’s obsession with toxic masculinity? *chef’s kiss*

bonus trans!sam: stream thee t4t samruby post

why I think aro!sam is sexy

this post

sam always associated a “good life” with having a girlfriend or wife, but aro!sam comes to realize he doesn’t need that to be happy. his happy ending can look a lot of different ways.

...tho aro saileen and samruby does compel me

I don’t have much to offer in the asexual!sam departments, BUT my inbox is open to anyone passionate about it who want to talk about it (or anyone who has anything to add here!!)

counter arguments I’ve gotten sometimes:

"___ and ___” was clearly just a homophobic/misogynistic/joke, not evidence of anything

I mean I could say the same for 75% of bisexual dean and destiel evidence so. I approach LGBT sam the way trans!dean fans approach that interpretation (which I also love): taking what was nothing more than a shitty joke from cishet men and turning it into something beautiful that you can relate to and see yourself in instead.

"j*red is the straightest/most homophobic man alive I refuse to see any character he plays as queer”

yo I hate that guy and you should too. luckily these characters are fictional and you don’t need to like the actor to enjoy a character. in fact, actors shouldn’t exist at all anymore I think. I like headcanoning his character as queer/trans just to spite him even. while his actor may have kept him from being the queer icon he deserved to be, the writing (and most importantly the writer’s support) was there.

this is just a made-up version of sam that lives in your head :/

well, yeah? while there is canon evidence for some of these especially the bi!sam truthing, sometimes headcanons are just fanon...and that’s okay! the canon version of the show ended with dean a dead “heterosexual” alcoholic and sam married to some random woman we know nothing about it. what’s wrong with imagining a better more satisfying ending and story for these characters? also, if you think the differences between fanon sam and canon sam are bad you should see the differences between fanon dean and canon dean.

final argument: what queer!sam adds to destiel because they can (and should!) coexist!

“but wouldn’t have sam figured out that dean was lgbt if he was also lgbt?” no? one, there’s a LOT about dean that sam doesn’t know and that’s a major reoccurring theme (especially since dean is a parent figure to him in addition to an older brother). two, even then how do you ever know for sure? my “token straight friend” made jokes for YEARSSSS about her lady crushes and we never took them seriously since she said it was just her being comfortable in her sexuality. guess who came out as bi the past year?

“I’ve been out since Standford” Sam can judge dean for still being hung up on his outdated ideas of masculinity, sexuality, etc. (which he does anyways! now he just has more reason to!)

all of TFW and their friends being LGBT only makes sense because gay people tend to flock to each other like magnets!! science cannot explain this!! all but one of my friends I knew in high school / college has since come out as something!! even one we joked was the token straight realized they were bi this year!! another thinks they might be ace! it never stops!!!

the impala is basically now just the “down with cis” car

the chaos of sam and cas’s friendship is not only explained if they’re both queer but ELEVATED

jack gets THREE gay dads!! the literal dream

when dean does come out, he still has the most supportive brother in his corner ready to help him be more accepting of himself...but also to help educate him on queer issues because let’s be real, dean has some learning (and unlearning) to do. charlie and sam are preparing a powerpoint as we SPEAK.

but he’s allowed to still microaggress dean because 1) that’s what he deserves for helping make sam’s childhood one long macroaggression and 2) he’s funnier about it. dean and sam ARE a win for gay homophobe rights.

at the end of the day, the show never even let dean be openly bisexual so what better form of rebellion is there than headcanoning no spn character as cishet? you can’t give us one good gay movie kiss and now ALL your characters are gay & trans, bob singer <3

most importantly: sam, dean, and adam all being lgbt??? john winchester’s worst nightmare baby!

at the end of the day, they are literally all fictional and this is a sandbox in which we can do whatever we want! no one wins by keeping someone from headcanoning a character as any form of LGBTQIA, but we do have fun to gain!

on that note, here's some fun queer sam tumblr posts to start you on your journey: (x) (x)

I also highly recommend the blog queersamofficial (which shares fun posts & ships) and sambrosia’s sam slash anyone series if you want a fun introduction to all the sam ships out there! (includes m/m and f/m)

update: I also now have a side samblog (@alivegirlsam​) if you’re a multishipper who considers yourself sastielcurious or just want to talk more about queer sam, trans sam, sam in general.

[kdsantell21]

I need to get my thoughts out for “The Pyramid Job” so spoilers under the cut!

First major thought, love having the idea of Harry having to flirt with Richard, cause let’s be honest we all knew Harry wasn’t straight. I mean, he didn’t complain one bit.

Sophie!!!!! My beloved! Her being honest with with the female mark! And talking about Nate and saying how she had a family! And how there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for them!

Eliot going all Dean Winchester with the car.

I WANTED TO SLAP THE WHATEVER THE HELL THAT BITCHES NAME WAS… DEBRAH? I hated her character so much! And as the victim of an MLM scam myself, that was rough. Cause I could even see the grifter techniques she was using!

THE TWISTS! First, Miranda dropping the hint that the person that Sophie abandoned was a daughter? WHAT?! And that her old boss was named Ramsey! I suspect he’s gonna be the big bad of the season, and they’re gonna use him kinda like they did with Ian Blackpool and IYS in season 1 of the original show.

Also when Eliot says how he knows the company and how they sell “cute” baby clothes, and he mentions he had an ex, but never clarified how they knew. So either A.) He had an ex at one point who wanted a kid and showed him the clothes or B.) my personal favorite, somewhere out there in the world, Eliot has a kid that he shopped for clothes for. or C.) He had an ex with a kid already and helped them shop for clothes. I’ll take fics for any one of those options.

Also loved how basically Eliot confronted Bill the Gent about what this whole deal with Sophie’s past was. And that Sophie actually married a Duke! Good for her!

Little confused about the whole Parker and the baby bump thing. It seemed odd that Parker would’ve liked having it, cause I was always under the impression that she wouldn’t like it because it’d slow her down, and she doesn’t like to be slowed down. Maybe it’s cause it’s fake and she could hide stuff, so it’s more a tool to her. It was funny don’t get me wrong, but it just seemed a little odd. Maybe that’s just a personal preference though.

Loved Breanna helping Ronald realize his dream to be a Jazz musician! I’m hoping that he comes back, cause I think I remember seeing there’s an episode with a music producer who prays on vulnerable women, so maybe he approaches Breanna? I just want him to come back!

And Sophie will forever be the queen of the gloat!

Harry sword fighting was funny, and I thought of Flynn and Excalibur. Though the mustache doesn’t do it for me. Sorry Harry.

Also loved the Harliot content of having Eliot and Harry come back from working out! I expect fics of Eliot and Harry flirting while sparring now.

I feel like this bad guy really pushed Sophie to her limits, in both her skill and her mind.

I love how it seems this season is about not only about pushing everyone’s limits, but also about peeling back the layers they have and breaking them down. Particularly with Sophie and Eliot, both whom have the most walls up out of everyone.

Now onto the promo for next ep!

Love me some Rob Benedict, so I’m so glad to see him again! And he’s so sweet in real life!

It looks like this episode is gonna be about the team taking back research from Rob’s character that he stole.

So excited for the next ep and how this season continues!