#this is also the first time... really‚ ever‚ that i feel like i can actually.. contribute to a fanbase
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sxorpiomooon · 2 days ago
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your first ever own home - a pac reading
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pile 1-
You'll play alot of songs while cooking, cooking will actually become sort of your religion. Something stupid is playing in my head while a girl tries to pick up a very hot container and slightly burns her finger. You are very poetic if you are not yet you will be. I see you writing alot I think alot of you will want an open home. Open doesn't mean big it just means that you would want it to have big windows and you'll keep them open so that the wind can flow. This pile will love living alone they'll love to make food for themselves while dancing. Living by themselves in their own apartment will be like a religion to them. I see you guys rushing back home whenever you are out because your home truly will feel like home. You won't style it that much but it will be very comfortable i see light colour sheets and curtains flowing wind chimes? I'm also seeing frames haha you might have a wall dedicated to that only ooooo I'm also seeing a good scenary it'll be at a good place sort of like the house that ask 101 boy lived in. There might be alot of birds chirping around I'm getting turkey and Italy etc. Some of you are going to be writers or this might be during your 20s for sure.
Pile 2-
This is going to be at an old house the type of house that others might have not really wanted to buy because it's old or something? I also think for some of you this is going to be your old family home or related to that I see alot of memories. This house might have alot of memories of its own which is precisely why you'll choose it. Vienna started playing in my head. Do you guys like how much love old things hold? Do you like dedications piano and finding old love letters? I see you actually not making much changes to this house I heard "this house has a spirit of it's own". This pile very much believes in a house having a spirit or personality of their own. I see some sort of photo frame that's going to be there. There will be stuff of the previous owners that you'll keep and I also see you going on alot of first online dates? Lmao this pile might also like to play those vinyl records and drink white wine. I see this pile being more in their 30s? Or more mature than the other one. There's a sense of being very authentic so much that it almost scares others to this pile which I absolutely love. I also see a new beginning
Pile 3-
LMAOO this pile will be at their all time high some of you very few are going to gain alot of popularity as soon as you step into your career or might be given this house by some other people. I just see you receiving money instantly and then you quickly investing it in a house. The only issue is that instead of trying find a home you'll buy a house. I dont see this pile staying here alot as well? This will mainly be because of your work schedule and also because this won't feel like home and won't call out to you. I'm getting the age of 24 but def will buy it young without much thinking, will have no time because of career and then will buy another one after ages of thinking. Strange but I keep getting aries perhaps venus in Aries or something and a very loud and busy city.
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yanderedrabbles · 2 days ago
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Yandere Actor
The Golden Age of Hollywood. Stars are born every day and you're desperate to become one. Thanks to @laboodanda for requesting this!
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Yandere! Actor who's well established in the industry - his name on the Walk of Fame, his face on all the posters, his agents calling day and night with new offers.
Yandere! Actor who meets you on the set of his latest movie. You're barely even part of the main cast - just a side character with a few lines. But you sparkle.
You have that razzle dazzle in you that makes a true star.
Yandere! Actor who knows it's just a matter of time before you make it big. You've already got your foot in the door and all it takes is a lucky break.
Yandere! Actor who comes up to talk to you during lunch, winks at you and grins at the way you blush. You're in awe of him and it takes a second before you can answer his questions.
Yandere! Actor who's used to starstruck fans, to women who shriek when he looks their way. But, it's somehow new and endearing when you're the one looking at him like that.
He can hear the other extras rushing to your side when he leaves, babbling about how lucky you are that he talked to you, the big stars never notice the little fish.
On the final day of filming, he congratulates you on your first ever role and invites you to dinner to celebrate.
Yandere! Actor who takes you to a cozy restaurant in a quiet seaside neighbourhood. He doesn't want to be interrupted by fans, but he also doesn't want to be seen in public with you. At least not yet.
You really impress him. You know quite a lot about acting techniques, about getting into and maintaining character, about catering to the camera.
But it's clear you're still a rookie. There's a slight nervousness to you that veteran starletts don't have. It's alright - he'll train it out of you in no time.
Yandere! Actor who shares he milkshake with you and offers you his jacket when the sea wind starts to nip.
When he drops you off, he squeezes your thigh and says he'll talk to his agent about you, that there might be a role in his next movie for such a pretty little thing.
Yandere! Actor who sees the innocent, love struck look in your eyes and revels in it.
Pretty soon he calls you and tells you about a private audition with some studio execs.
"Keep your hair loose and wear that short sundress you wore on our date."
It should be friendly advice, so why does it sound like an order?
The audition is in one of the studio's offices. A room filled with big shot executives and egotistical directors. Men in suits who are high on their own power, their own genius. They've seen a thousand hopeful girls and to them you're no different.
The way they look at you makes you feel like dirt, like the most untalented person in the whole world. You would have walked out then and there if it wasn't for him.
Yandere! Actor who volunteers to read the lines with you. He winks and smiles at you and by just being there makes you feel so much better. And a few sentences in, you find your stride. Immerse yourself in the scene.
You're playing the part of a jilted lover, a woman who gave everything to her man and has her heart shattered when he leaves. In the final act, you grab his collar and look up at him with tears in your eyes, your voice shaking.
"Please, please don't go. I love you. I need you."
You raise one hand to his cheek, your fingers trembling. "Don't you love me too?"
Yandere! Actor who actually forgets his line.
You're looking up at him so weak, so vulnerable that his mind goes blank. His director calls out the line and he repeats it blankly.
"And...End scene!"
Yandere! Actor who doesn't look away from you even when the directors start clapping and you turn to give them a bow. You were so raw that it didn't feel like a performance. The tears, the desperate way you pulled at him... It felt so real.
It's only when his agent slaps him on the back that he manages to snap out of it.
The director is already grabbing your arm and insisting to the studio executives that he needs you in his next movie.
Yandere! Actor who comes up behind you and drapes his arms around your shoulders. You don't realise it but he's staking his claim, showing all these rich and powerful men that anything to do with you has to go through him. He grins at his agent.
"She's perfect, isn't she?"
The man lowers his shades and drags his eyes across your body.
"You need to clean up her look a little, but you were right. She's the perfect girl for you."
You feel like there's more behind their conversation, things they've discussed that you aren't privy to. But you don't have the nerve to ask.
On your way out of the studio, Yandere! Actor curls his arm around your waist.
"You're gonna be a lead actress soon baby. The execs want you in a few supporting roles first, just to get you used to the camera, but the director has his mind set on you."
You smile at him, a megawatt grin filled with the thrill of having your dream come true. It makes him feel like the centre of your world, makes him feel like a man.
You throw your arms around his neck and hug him. "I owe you! Thank you thank you thank you thank -"
He cuts you off with a kiss. And in that moment you really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Yandere! Actor who slowly takes over your beauty routine. Who tells your hairdresser exactly what shade to tint your hair, exactly what shape to thread your eyebrows. Who buys you new clothes and tells you exactly how to style them.
You don't realise it, but he's shaping your look into something that compliments his own.
Yandere! Actor who almost invites you to his movie premiere until his agent advises against it. Who kisses you and apologises and says he'll bring you to the next one.
You understand, you really do. You're still relatively unknown and having you on his arm would just invite gossip. But it still stings watching him go to the premier on his own, his arm around his beautiful co-star. You go to bed that night with doubts nagging at your mind.
It's only when you hear him knocking at your door at three in the morning that your insecurities go silent.
Yandere! Actor who's still wearing his tuxedo from the red carpet. His hair falling out of its slicked back style as he dangles a bottle of champagne in front of you.
"Gotta celebrate with my girl."
He's barely three steps into your apartment before he's kissing you, his hands on your waist and dropping lower.
You try and push him away. Tell him it's your first time.
Yandere! Actor who nips at your neck. "Don't worry, 'm gonna be so gentle."
When you still try and slip away, he pulls back to look in your eyes. Despite the haze of alcohol, there's something piercing about the way he looks at you.
"How many girls can say their first time was with a Hollywood star?"
Yandere! Actor who let's his fingers climb higher up your thighs.
"I've been workin' so hard to make you an actress. Don't I get a reward?"
How are you supposed to say no to a man who holds your future in his palm? You nod your head just the slightest and he's back to kissing you, back to drawing you hands to his belt, back to growling in your ear.
Yandere! Actor who's a shameless liar. He isn't gentle with you at all.
Yandere! Actor who wakes up all groggy and hungover the next morning. Who pulls you closer to him and falls asleep again with his head on your chest. You look down at his dark hair and his chiseled features and for a little while, it doesn't feel like such a bad deal. Love him in exchange for a career.
And he is so easy to love.
Yandere! Actor who encourages the director to start filming your movie as soon as possible. A romance between a thief (you, in your very first lead role) and a jaded detective with a heart of gold (him, who's had so many lead roles he's lost count).
The schedule is gruelling and the director is a tyrant, but this is your big break. You give it everything you have. You learn the script inside and out, badger the screen writer until she discusses your character arc with you, follow the director around and beg him for tips.
Yandere! Actor who adores working with you. You're sweet and pliable and the chemistry between you is sizzling. Every scene with you makes him need a cold shower and a priestly intervention.
Yandere! Actor who pulls you into his trailer every chance he gets to "read lines." But it always ends with him holding you down and kissing you, claiming it's good practice for the camera.
"Character building," he pants from between your legs. "Just getting into the mindset."
Yandere! Actor who watches with satisfaction as the movie comes along. You remind him of himself when he just started, raw talent and a burning desire to please.
Yandere! Actor who is next to you every moment he isn't needed on set. Who gives you endless advice and makes you laugh with his stories about bad takes and wardrobe malfunctions.
Part of it is to keep an eye on you - there's a jealous bit inside him that thinks of you as his creation, your talent a reflection of his training - and part of it is to spark rumours.
It works exactly as he intends. Pretty soon the magazines and radio hosts are blabbering about a possible romance between him and his relatively unknown co-star.
Yandere! Actor who's determined to make this movie a success. On the premier night, he walks down the red carpet with his arm around your waist. When the cameras are at the height of their flashing, he takes your chin in his hand and kisses you.
The next morning, the papers are raving about it and the theatres are sold out before midday.
It's a critical and commercial success. Yandere! Actor who's high on the thrill of it. Who loves driving down Hollywood Boulevard and seeing you on the billboards, who loves having Hollywood's newest darling on his arm and in his bed.
But then the letters start coming.
Yandere! Actor who snarls at the piles and piles of fan mail you receive. Maybe, if it was all innocent praise, he could have accepted it. But most of the letters are absolutely filthy.
Men writing to you from all over the country, all over the world. Describing in detail all the things they want to do to you, all the ways they want you speared on their cocks. Men who promise to treat you so sweet you'd never want to leave them and men who threaten to whip you over their knee if you don't learn to say please when they fuck you.
Yandere! Actor who's never received mail with such perversion. His fans are mostly sweet young girls who timidly describe how nice it would be to find a man like him, to get taken to prom and courted.
Yandere! Actor who becomes suspicious of every man he sees. The gaffer that looks at you too long becomes the guy who promised to find you and fill your cunt with his come. The driver who holds your hand when you climb out of the car becomes the stalker who followed you home the other night.
Yandere! Actor who keeps his arm around you whenever you're outside. Who starts keeping his gun in the glove box of his car.
It's not only strangers he needs to worry about either. The studio executives keep pressuring you with stricter and stricter contract offers. The director wants you starring in a romance role with another man. Two dozen talent agencies are crawling over glass to try and sign you.
Yandere! Actor who tells you to let him handle the contracts and paper work.
"The bastards will try and trick you out of your money and your clothes. Trust me baby, I've had to deal with plenty of shitty deals. I don't want that for you."
Yandere! Actor who knows exactly how tightly binding a contract is. And it's no coincidence that the one he has you sign binds your career almost entirely to his. It ensures that the bulk of your roles are alongside him, that he has the final say in studio disputes, that he owns the rights to your name.
The studio executives might normally never sign a deal like that, but they're desperate to get you under contract. You're a blazing star and they aren't going to lose you to a competitor.
Yandere! Actor who drinks a toast to your success and kisses you infront of all those high flying executives. Despite all the attention and awards you've earned, you still look up at him with a blind sort of hero worship. He's the goal you've always aimed for, the standard you've tried to reach. To be his girl is still so dizzying you almost can't believe it.
In bed that night, Yandere! Actor thinks about proposing, about wifing you up. The wedding would be huge, generate massive press. His next big project with you is scheduled for half a year away. Maybe do a proposal during opening night? Or better yet, at the Academy Awards? Yeah, that would get cinemas sold out even faster than kissing you on the red carpet did.
Save the wedding for a few years down the line. When your career is more established and your image might need an upgrade.
You curl against his side and moan in your sleep, brow scrunched. Cute, naive little thing, aren't you? Hollywood would swallow you up and spit you out if it wasn't for him.
Yandere! Actor who kisses your forehead as you dream about cameras and lights and action.
"Don't worry baby, I'll take extra good care of you."
Yandere! Actor who's curated his image so carefully. Who wants a girlfriend who's light and talent make him shine all the brighter.
And who better than someone who owes him her career?
Extra!! Here's a short drabble I wrote when I was brainstorming the idea with @laboodanda
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nyxelestia · 5 hours ago
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Tacking onto all of this, I do find it off-putting that a lot of fics ignore that he had a life before HYDRA and before the war. It only ever seems to come up in relation to Steve but not his own sense of self.
If he is going to define himself by consumer choices, why not explore what it means that he actually does have a sense of self within that paradigm...but all the things he wants to choose for himself are gone, lost to the passage of time? Why is his sense of self and identity less valid just because the ravages of time and capitalism have rendered all his preferences and choices unavailable? Is he really free to define himself if his options are limited to what is available today, but do not include what feels true to him and his live experiences?
I will add that I also suspect a lot of these fics are being heavily informed and biased by the personal experiences of the community that they were written by and for. In short, this community has way more survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence that it has survivors of war and multigenerational poverty, and it shows. The way fandom in general tends to understand and write PTSD has less to do with war -- even the specifically American military-industrial version of it -- and more in common with surviving abuse.
I think some of that is an understandable product of the story. Most survivors of war and soldiers with PTSD were not in a long-term, on-going psychological manipulation that systematically and intentionally deconstructed their sense of self; yet that description, while extreme, is very applicable to what it feels like to be in and escape from an abusive relationships (whether a family dynamic or an intimate partner relationship).
There are many significant differences between "abuse/assault survivor PTSD" vs "war/external conflict PTSD," but I think one of the most relevant differences is the nature of the cause of trauma denying victims autonomy, agency, and self-determination.
This may not be easy to see at first because the military is so conformist. Everyone has the same uniform, code of conduct, and often the exact same lifestyle or schedule. But that's relatively superficial; it's almost a stereotype that as soon as soldiers with their first military paychecks get off base for the first time, they make a lot of bad but self-determining purchases like fancy cars and high-end consumer electronics. One of the reasons why the military as an institution is so enduring is because after this initial period of intense conformity and trauma, it's often a path of self-determination (or at least marketed as such): loans for housing, support for education, multiple career paths, etc. (The flipside being, of course, that the military can just as easily lock you into a career you don't want, or the trauma from it can make achieving any semblance of life after violence anywhere from difficult to impossible.) Meanwhile, abusive families and relationships are often exactly the opposite: superficially giving victims all the freedom in the world or only very few restrictions (at least as compared to the military), yet in practice locking victims into a specific lifestyle or path preferred by the abuser.
This manifests in the way a lot of fanfic authors write Bucky recovering from the Winter Soldier ordeal. He exercises a lot of autonomy and agency in his superficial consumer choices, yet often exercises very little real agency in the course of his life. Either he remains a superhero / supersoldier of some variety, or he has to take the extreme measure of completely dropping off the grid (and out of public eye, and often well away from everyone else in the world) to achieve any sense of peace.
A lot of Bucky Recovery fics don't really feel like a traumatized veteran or even traumatized abuse survivor moving on with their life or recovering anything significant. Instead, they have the same vibes as a military fresh recruit making dumb high-interest big purchases off-base while rushing back to base in time for PT, or someone in an abusive relationship celebrating a fancy haircut their partner likes while putting their education and career on hold for said partner. A lot of these fics feel like they make Bucky celebrate superficial appearances of autonomy and agency to obfuscate just how little self-determination he really has even after escaping HYDRA.
In a weird way, this feels like an apt metaphor not for the character but for the authors. Much like Bucky post-Winter Soldier, they cannot fathom a life of true independence from capitalism, and so envision the closest thing to it they can imagine while still remaining under the umbrella of capitalism and calling that freedom.
I am still pretty buried in work, but dropping in to comment on a trope I’ve seen popping up again and again in CA: TWS fic, which is: the horror and totality of Bucky’s deconstruction as a person is shown through the revelation that he doesn’t know what [food, clothes, music, coffee, etc] he likes, and a significant part of his reconstruction involves correcting this. 
This is very attractive trope. I enjoy reading it! But I want to turn a critical eye on it, and on my own enjoyment of it. This will surprise no one who’s been reading my blog for a long time, since I’m persistently and heavily critical of the selfist/consumerist ideology that underlies Western capitalist society. And that’s what’s going on here, really, I think: this trope is an expression of our understanding of what it means to be a person, and our anxieties about person-ness.
Keep reading
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keepingitformyself · 1 day ago
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older (and wiser): i
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synopsis: in which time could have never undone what she left.
A/N: FIRST WANDA FIC!!! had this idea long ago when i was crushing hard on this girl from the theatre program at my uni; around that time i had also seen ‘past lives’ and i wanted to do something similar with that film. also at my core i know wanda maximoff would’ve totally been a theatre kid, this is me paying ode to that. while this specific part doesn’t go into that, i am gonna work on a sort of prequel to this Short Series…anyways enjoy!!!
pairings: wanda maximoff x reader
genre: angst?
warnings: it’s sad. but it gets hopeful…
MASTERLIST
please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.
it had been years.
wanda had finally decided to take a breather. she’d been working non-stop ever since she left for work all those years ago after college.
she didn’t think she’d get so lucky off that one job, that it’d immediately get her into another, or another, and so on and so forth.
she loved her work, sure, but now it was catching up to her. everyone in her life, her manager, her agent, her family had all begged her to slow down.
“take some time off, wanda.” her agent, daniel had said to her during a meeting. wanda’s eyes traveled between daniel and her manager, samara.
the meeting had all been a set up. what wanda thought was supposed to be a discussion on a new project, was actually a ploy. she had no idea the meeting was meant to convince her to take a break.
“yeah right.” she scoffed. not believing in what they were saying.
“we’re serious, wanda.” samara stated, her eyes stern but with genuine care. “when was the last time you had time for yourself?”
wanda remained silent at the words. all of a sudden she felt like a kid being scolded by their parents. and she wished to be anywhere else but in the room with them.
“really.” daniel starts. “go be a real person. smell the flowers, meet people, fall in love, take in the view—”
“i meet people all the time, daniel.” wanda quickly cut in.
all daniel could do was shake his head, a sigh escaping his lips as he tried his hardest to make the woman in front of him understand.
“you know that’s not what i meant, wanda.” he gives her a pointed look.
with a jaw clenched, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side. the windows overlooking los angeles now seeming more interesting than this conversation.
“we know how much it means for you to work, we know how much you enjoy it, but you’ve been doing it for so long. we just want you at your best.” she hears samara say. and as much as she hated to admit it, daniel and samara were right.
wanda hadn’t stopped working since she started. in fact, it’s all she can think to do. she didn’t have anyone outside of work—no partner, no obligations except to her family. why stop when there was nothing waiting for her?
wanda knew the answer but wouldn’t admit it. she might as well never have fully faced it.
the truth was, she’d loved someone once. she’d loved you. and no matter how much time had passed, the thought of you still gnawed at her.
though everything was perfect for a while, her career was well off, she was successful, and her family was proud.
but wanda couldn’t help asking, is this really it?
of course, she tried meeting people. she really tried. she didn't like being miserable over someone she hadn't been in contact with for years. but even that wasn't enough. it was honestly a bit pathetic. it had happened years ago. four years, to be exact. wanda should’ve been well moved on by now, but she isn’t. at least not entirely.
so, she poured everything into her work to distract her from that gnawing feeling inside her. the one that had been lit up all those years ago. the one that was tamable with you around.
but you’re not around, and wanda couldn’t help but throw herself into more work hoping she could get rid of it, get rid of you. but she hasn’t.
“listen, wanda,” daniel cuts her train of thought. “your work is important and people need it, but to keep it up to that degree, you need to go out and just be a human.” he finishes.
wanda sighs. she leans forward on her knees and drops her head into her hands. daniel was right. they were both so right.
wanda never properly dealt with things. maybe it's time she finally did.
she looks up from her hands, a look of defeat yet understanding, with pursed lips she finally says,
"fine."
and now, two months later, wanda finds herself back in los angeles, in an empty home, eating expensive sushi.
she had gotten off the phone with her brother, pietro, who had just joined her on the recent trip she’d been on.
a trip that he insisted he’d join her on to make sure wanda would do all the resting and touristy things she should.
she had done all the traveling she could do in the last two months, jumping from plane to plane. talking to strangers, being a tourist in european cities, and befriending random people in planes.
now, wanda actually had time for herself, time with her brain. a thing she honestly didn't want to face. because even thinking about anything made it even more real.
but now wanda was bored, and the movie playing on her eighty-inch television wasn't doing much to entertain her. and it also didn't help that it was eleven pm on a thursday night and all wanda could do was feel bad for herself.
so she does the next thing she had been really trying to avoid,
stalking your social media.
wanda herself wasn’t much active online these days. she had much to do day-to-day and week-to-week, rarely would she ever have the patience to sit down and scroll through her phone much. that and she honestly tried to stay off of it.
but now she has the time. and the patience. and honestly, she’s a little scared at what she could find.
she tells herself it doesn't have to mean anything. just a little check-in to see how you were, after that she'd really work on trying to forget about you altogether.
and with the simple type in of your name, wanda finds your instagram. your profile picture, a professional headshot of you, and a bio that reads,
editor in chief.
New York Times contributor.
something that shouldn't have made wanda's chest burst with joy, but it does. and as she scrolls further and further, she finds that you now reside in new york city, that you've moved on well without her and that you have a cat and a boyfriend.
boyfriend.
she shouldn't care so much, but she does.
you were living your best life. the one you had always wanted.
just not with her. not with wanda.
but she doesn't stop there, and she ignores the lump in her throat as she exits your profile and searches for your mother's name.
and maybe she feels her heart break a little when it turns out the boyfriend you had is actually your fiancé. she finds out through a photo your mother posted.
the picture shows you, and a handsome man next to you. you’re both sat outside some restaurant in the city, his arm is thrown over your shoulder while your right hand clutches his left, and there it is. in all its glory—with the diamond on it catching the suns light perfectly. the ring on your finger.
it doesn’t help that he looks so in love with you.
out for lunch with y/n and paul again! i promised them an engagement lunch and we were NOT disappointed. make sure you try Jack’s Wife Freda if you are ever in SoHo!!#motherinlaw #NYC #loveinnewyork
is what the caption reads.
wanda freezes at the fact and immediately throws her phone on the empty seat beside her. she stares at it like it had just offended her.
many things go through her brain. how did you meet him? was it shortly after you broke up? was it really him you wanted to spend forever with? how long did it take for him to ask?
wanda had always loved your mother. a sweet woman who always had your best interests in mind. she had always pushed you to do what you loved. and wanda had always seen that some of her favorite traits of yours had come from her.
after the break up, your mom made sure to check in on wanda. without you ever knowing, wanda and your mom kept in touch, until eventually wanda had cut her line for the sake of fully moving on.
though, she never really fully did.
wanda evaluates what to do next. was this her sign? she doesn’t want it to be sign.
wanda doesn’t want to admit that it seems like you had moved on so completely.
on impulse she looks up your fiancé’s name. “paul” is all she had to type out in your mother’s following before she found his account.
she finds that paul is just as successful as you are. he’s an investigative journalist, born in ireland. he briefly worked at a publication in london but transferred to a firm in new york after a year.
he’s gorgeous, she thinks. he has blue eyes, a kind smile, and he has an accent. it would make perfectly good sense why you would choose him.
wanda’s stomach twists with a mix of happiness and regret.
“fuck!” She whispers to herself.
“of course, you’re happy. of course the man you’re engaged with is actually a decent man! fuck.” wanda says to no one in particular. in frustration, she burries her hands in her hair.
wanda is annoyed at herself.
“i need a drink,” in an instant she’s on her legs making her way to the kitchen. she finds a bottle of wine that has been kept cool in the fridge and she wastes no time in popping it open, she pauses briefly, debating on whether she’d need or glass or not.
to hell with a glass. she thinks, and makes her way back to the couch, she holds the bottle by its neck and takes a long swig from it.
it’s all so perfectly miserable. wanda maximoff stalking her ex-girlfriend on social media while she gets wasted. the self loathing has got the best of her. she finds it all ironic.
wanda maximoff could have anyone she wanted. she knew this. she has everything she could ever want or need. she has credibility, a nice home, the luxury of traveling at any moment she wants.
yet, her mind kept coming back to one thing. the one thing she’d decided she’d leave behind all those years ago. it isn’t fair, she thinks. wanda was young and stupid back then, but she was so so in love. she knew that for sure.
but sometimes…sometimes she really wishes she had fought harder.
briefly, wanda wonders if your number was still the same. if you had ever changed it or at least tried calling her. she wouldn’t know, she had changed it years ago once she started getting more attention for her work.
wanda was really drunk at this point. her better judgment had gone away as soon as she’d picked that bottle out the fridge. there was no better time than now.
she taps on her phone until she lands on the number keypad. her fingers hover over it, would she regret it if she didn’t? probably. would she regret it if she did? probably.
but if there was one thing wanda had, it’s that she’s got nerve and audacity.
so she types in the number that she doesn’t think she could ever forget, and lets it ring.
your fiancé answers the call.
“hello?” an irish accent sounds through the speaker. paul. wanda’s blood runs cold and she stays silent for a moment. all of sudden she feels incredibly sober and regretting making the call.
“hi.” she pauses. “uhm, i’m looking for y/n?” wanda manages to squeak out.
“right! who is this? your number isn’t saved.” paul says,
“an old friend. i changed my number a while back.” wanda replies smoothly.
“oh! let me pass her to you, she’s just in the kitchen.” the line goes quiet for a few moments, and she’s able to hear a few words exchanged between you and paul.
“hello?”
wanda freezes again, a hand covers her mouth as she tries not to shake at the sound of your voice. it’d been so long. she grips her phone tighter.
“hey…” her voice shaky and unmistakable. you know it’s wanda.
“wanda?” your voice betrayed the surprise you felt. from the couch paul caught your eye, a raised eyebrow on his face. everything okay? he mouthed.
you shook your head.
“i wondered if your number was still the same.” wanda says after a moment. her tone light, but with an undercurrent of something else.
your mind raced. why was she calling you? why now? your fiance was in the other room, you were getting married soon. you’d built a life perfectly fine without her in it. so why was she calling you now?
“how have you been?” her voice cuts through the line again. wanda holds the phone close to her ear, wanting to make sure she could hear every word you say.
and all you can think of is how confused you were.
“i- i’m fine. i’m good. yeah.”
“that’s good—”
“i’m sorry, uh…why are you calling?” you find yourself cutting her off. your fingers press against your forehead in act of trying to understand what was happening.
wanda pauses. she realizes just how impulsive this whole thing was. she’s on the phone with her ex of four years, while your fiancé was probably in the other room. she goes silent again. her words have to be carefully measured.
she gulps,
“uhm…i just—i just wanted to know how you were. heard you’re based in new york now...so…” wanda trails off. you don’t miss the tone in her voice as she says those words. the familiar rasp, the lowness of her voice, she’d used it many times on you when she wanted something.
you close your eyes with a sigh, “yeah. yeah, i live in new york now, engaged and everything.”
wanda smiles through the phone, her eyes almost prick with tears at the corners.
“i saw," she says just above a whisper. "congratulations, you…you’ve always wanted that.” and she means it. she knows better than anyone how much you’ve wanted this.
suddenly a wave of nostalgia hits you, and you’re brought back to when you were both in college. so young, so dumb, but god, it was one of the best times of your life. you try not to let it affect you, how much this call seems to be doing for you. you haven’t yet figured out if it’s a good or bad thing.
“thank you." your voice softens. "how have you been?” you find yourself asking her next.
wanda smiles at your question, “life has been…insane, you know?” she pauses on the line. “still missing some pieces, but overall i’m doing well,” you pretend not to hear the sudden shift in her voice when she said that.
you exhaled quietly, unsure of what to say. the air between you felt charged with unspoken words, old memories stirring to the surface.
“can i see you?” she asks, her tone hesitant. “catch up in person? i’d really like to see you.”
with your bottom lip between your teeth, you contemplate your next words. paul notices your tick from the other his seat on the couch, despite you telling him it was okay he couldn’t help but worry. he’d heard enough of the call to know something was wrong. still he knows you had it down, so he waits until you need him.
you struggle to find your words for a moment, the question being so…why?
“oh, wanda, i don’t know if—”
but wanda ever the stubborn woman she is, doesn’t relent.
“please. Just for some coffee and conversation.”
your mind is torn between keeping your peace or taking wanda up on her offer. but you were curious.
with a sigh you finally decide.
“where and when?”
you can hear wanda’s smile through the phone,
“i can fly to new york anytime you’re free. you can pick a spot and i’ll be there.”
you think for a few moments.
“okay, meet at caffe reggio in greenwich.”
wanda’s heart stutters, something she hadn’t felt in a while. her eyes flutter closed, she breathes in— out. her eyes open again. and though you can’t see it, there’s a new look in her eyes.
“i’ll be there.”
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lesbianherald · 16 hours ago
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my hatemail for you is that coming home is too fucking good and im having a hard time finding other jayvik fics that hit like it hit >:( im too new here to have already found my "The Javik Fic" dammit!!!! (p.s. have a good new year <3)
heeheheheeh thank you stuff like this means so much !
but also maybe i can HELPPP
there are some incredible fics out there that deserve so much love and recognition so here's a list of some of my absolute faves!
to swim through the fires – to stay in this world by theroyalsavage (M)
literally adore the character writing in this one and the tone. i found myself relating to and enjoying the style so much.
wound care (E) by Sinister_Queer
call me a child of divorce but I really struggle with fics where they're divorced, but this one is so with it. such an incredible, well-thought-out world and love that is so tangible between them.
advanced particle physics (the laws of attraction may apply) (E) by Sinister_Queer
fuck i didn't realize these were written by the same person until I did this list holy shit I want to give this person a kidney. I'm very picky about modern AUs probably because I had to think about my own so much. but this is just. so so good. The Jayce in this is EXQUISITE!!!
Love was the Law (E) by ruinthatboy
she's the most popular girl in school and I don't care because I'm still going to be singing her praises. incredible fic.
i read the signs (E) by vavavavoom
this is fucking phenomenal. i'd say its more vikjayce because we have defender jayce and machine herald vik, though its also set in an alternate reality from league. it has just, delicious epistolary elements. such good relationship building. it's so hard in a situation like theirs to believe they're fall in love but the author really. makes. you. believe it.
heavy crown (E) by vavavavoom
another absolute banger from this author. i love reading from an author that characterizes differently than you, but still so goddamn WELL. I feel the longing and tension in this and how that wars with duty. it's so marvelous.
hearts in halves (E) by vavavoom
i really struggle with mythology adaptations because they're deceptively hard to pull off but this author did it so damn well. The UGHHH!!!. THE PINING !!! THE WANT !!! AHHH!!!! I literally do not understand how it has not gotten more attention.
the blessing of all that you dreamed (M) by nightlilly
such an interesting one where the set up is similar to their lab dynamic in season 1 but viktor happens to be a really cool original fantasy being who can show people their deepest desires, which obviously gives then-oblivious jayce a crisis. so so good?
let's talk about chemistry cause I'm dying to melt through to the heart of {his} molecules (M) by the_RiftWalker
the love between them is so palpable in this one. they just feel so real. i relate to viktor a lot in this one - just really exquisite work.
inside the starshine by sepiacigarettes (E)
short and sweet and sexy with 👏PINING 👏LOVESTRUCK👏VIKTOR👏
Started out with a Kiss (T) by CasperCryptid
if you need to smile read this. its an adorable very silly drabble that somehow still manages to pack in some signature jayvik longing.
Perfect (M) by TheTrickyOwl
one of my first Jayvik fics i ever read from the one and only and oh my god. the raw emotion in this is so sweet.
Nothing Left to Lose (M) by TheTrickyOwl
same emotions as in perfect but in a devastatingly depressing context. is so so worth the read. so stunning and just brought up so many feelings.
tell me when my hunting days are done (E) by dualwelding
Dark and depressing Vampirism where the change Jayce makes to viktor after he almost dies is turning him into a vampire with insatiable bloodlust. it's such a gut punch and its sexy and I love it!
And finally...
I really hesitated to put anything of my own in this list because these authors are so damn good but I do have two others other than coming home (but not to you). I actually am more proud of here at the end so I wanted to throw it at people against their will.
Here at the End of All Things (M)
Follows old Man AU Mage Viktor's decades of solitude and the aftermath of his meeting with Jayce
In the After (E)
wrote this right after season 2 as a way to cope. was high on these new meds that weren't working the whole time so uhh. i can't attest to this one. she's my stepchild. but I have an inherent affection for her due to the time I wrote it. - follows what might happen after Jayce and Viktor vanished.
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nakylvr · 1 day ago
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Okay so first request is in fact not a smut one! Instead i would like to request the kats reaction to gn reader being clumsy and stupid and injuring themself in ridiculous ways
Great example: my dumbass last night. I was looking for my scissors and forgot I had them on my lap and then turned and punctured myself with my scissors by my pelvic area so yesterday and today I've been having trouble walking and moving my left leg 😭
N e ways i would just like comfort from the kats bc i am a stupid clumsy idiot
-trans dude anon
as someone who rarely gets injured but when injured is injured extremely bad...i tried my best here 😭🙏
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warnings/tags: established relationship, gn!reader, mild language
sophia
sophia is the least surprised whenever someone gets hurt, including you. will she react the same every time as if you're bleeding out dying even when you just stub your toe on something? yes. but, it's the thought that counts! so when she hears a yelp from inside the apartment, she's not surprised when she rounds the corner to see you mumbling under your breath about how that table should be moved by now while standing on one leg. and yet, she still rushes over to you asking if you're okay and what happened. depending on how bad the injury is determines how badly she freaks out, and if there's any blood whatsoever she's taking it like you're bleeding out, putting you on the couch and getting the first aid kit. it's safe to say she's gotten used to you getting injured randomly throughout the day, but she still babies you every time like it's the first time getting hurt around her. it's the same if you're sick. she'll do anything to make sure you feel better especially if it was a more serious injury, doing literally everything before you can even think of asking her. she just knows. it's a little scary sometimes.
manon
manon is also not that surprised whenever you get hurt because of how many times it happens. she expects it by now but it still shocks her when she hears you yell from across the room or wherever you are. she is already walking towards you with the first aid kit before you can even call for her and she just shakes her head seeing you get hurt doing something stupid again. that being said, she also babies you, but not as much as sophia. she likes taking care of you and she doesn't get to do it often, so she does everything in her power when she is. she makes sure you're completely okay before helping you into bed or on the couch and puts the first aid kit away before coming back to you. her go to way to comfort anyone, including herself is watching comfort shows/movies, so that's exactly what she does once she ensures you're okay and she can relax a little bit, laying down next to you and putting something you like on the tv. she may call you an idiot for the ways you get hurt sometimes, but she means well and you can tell in her eyes that she's genuine every time she helps you whenever you injure yourself accidentally.
daniela
dani might or might not laugh in your face at times depending on how you got hurt. if she witnessed it especially. it's her first instinct if it's funny how you got hurt before she quickly hurries over to you and checks to see if you're okay. she doesn't mean to laugh, she just honestly can't help it sometimes. she does apologize for laughing if you're actually hurt, and she wouldn't do it again if it was a serious injury. she might actually scold you a little bit if it was a bad injury because of your clumsy ass while helping you with the first aid kit, mumbling curses under her breath about how one day you'll hurt yourself really bad. it's a little surprising but just tell her that you're fine, that you won't hurt yourself too badly, and she'll lighten up a little bit. but, she's not leaving your side ever. she knows you well enough to know you can get injured anywhere so she now does everything to ensure you don't get hurt, but it still happens sometimes unfortunately for her. she'll still scold you after every time.
lara
lara also might laugh, occasionally if she knows you're not seriously hurt. she can tell the difference in how you react when you get hurt if it's serious or not, and that's what determines how she reacts to it. if it's not serious, she just shakes her head while jokingly saying how clumsy you are but still helping you and babying you a bit. if it's serious then she's serious, she doesn't fuck around when you're actually hurt. she is immediately getting the first aid kit when she hears you yell and she is the calmest one to help you with the injury. the way her whole demeanor changes is surprising every time, and when she looks at you and asks if you're okay with genuine eyes and a soft voice you just fall more in love with her. she won't leave your side until she knows 100% you're okay and back to normal, calling out of schedules if she has to to make sure you're better.
megan
megan is nearly as bad as you. it's terrible. one of you is injured most of the time if not both of you. one day she'll be helping you and the next you'll be helping her it's never ending honestly. and somehow she freaks out every time you get hurt. as if you're dying on her! she tries her best to help you but there are times where she just gives you reassuring words while you patch yourself up if she can't. but she is doing everything under the sun for you if you get hurt more seriously. anything you ask of her she will do, and she'll ask you every ten minutes if you need anything or how you're doing. you want something to eat? she's driving to your favorite place and bringing it back for you. you want to watch a movie and relax? she's bringing every blanket and pillow possible and dimming the lights in case you fall asleep. she's down bad and it shows whenever you're hurt.
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slasherflicks999 · 3 days ago
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new oc/sona yaaaaaay!
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oh how i wish i had all those piercings (bridge come back to me💔)
can we guess where his name came from gang (suspiciously username shaped name)
i actually really enjoy his character design and i literally color picked his color pallet from a diagram(?) that shows how a bruise heals and it worked out LMAOO sooo new character design life hack
more info and lots of general yapping about him after the break if you care to read :3 and i yap a LOT i have lots to say about him bc its been a while since i genuinely developed an oc LMAO
cw for LOTS and LOTS of talk of death if you do decide to read! just in case :3
first of all you may be thinking “5’6? short king!” and i will have you know i actually made him taller than i am irl by a few inches LMAOOO whoops t boy swag will do that to ya
anyways the thing about his color pallet being based off of that of a literal bruise IS actually relevant because he is literally immortal and is CONSTANTLY getting injured like all the time. i think conveying info about characters via their color pallets is fun and i wanna do more of it so hehe. plus green and red and purple are a nice combo and it worked out very well :3 also another little note about his design: he’s a very creative and artistic person and i wanted to show that through his clothes being somehow modified and i think i did that well too. trying to properly get back into making actually decent and thoughtful character designs so im proud of myself :3
that being said his immortality causes him a SHIT load of problems. i feel like being immortal would really suck LMAO but more-so i feel like i dont see people do much with the idea of immortality in terms of horror or at least not from what i’ve seen. like im still figuring out his lore but the basics are: he has no clue who his dad is and found out he was immortal at a somewhat young age but literally his entire life he’s been viewed as just kind of off?? like he looks human and for the most part acts it but he just has certain traits that humans…. do not have. his eyes glow in pics like a nocturnal animal’s would and his teeth are suspiciously sharp and he gets weird cravings for raw meat which he can somehow digest perfectly fine with absolutely no issue but he’s not like OVERTLY some otherworldly creature he’s just a little weird. a tad strange even. possibly even kind of unsettling depending on who you ask.
and i like to imagine these are a lot of things that were present in his childhood too, like his mother would wake up to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen and find him at the ripe old age of five just gnawing at a whole raw steak in the dark. he’s just sort of always been like that and didn’t realize it was weird until he was older. (is a lot of this used as metaphors for undiagnosed neurodiversity/mental illness? …..iii dont knowwww :3 (yes) (although not every aspect of him is a total reflection of myself, he is still his own character in many respects lolol))
but in general this ends up causing him all sorts of issues in all sorts of millions of ways. for one he has sort of a fragile sense of self because he doesn’t even know what he is?? he knows he can’t just be a regular old human because of all the previously mentioned reasons and a few more, but that aside he has no idea what he is. he also doesn’t know pretty much anything about how his immortality works beyond what he’s experienced and what the others have told him during the times when he’s “dead,” he has no idea how his aging is affected by it because he seems to be aging relatively normally so far, he has no clue if he will EVER die for good/if there’s any way to kill him, he has no idea how his body seems to heal the most insane fatal injuries as if nothing happened, and much more quickly than a normal human would, he kinda doesn’t know jack shit about himself and it pisses him off a little bit!
it also has just caused him lots of trauma as you can probably imagine. lots of dissociation everywhere he looks
moving on to how his immortality actually works: like i said there’s only so much he knows about it but this is all the info he knows so far. he CAN “die” but all of his deaths are temporary. that is to say that his body will eventually heal and regenerate itself and he will come back. it’s not like deadpool where he can get stabbed in the head and go about the rest of his day like nothing happened, he might be able to keep himself up for a while to fight back or run away but it wont be long before he drops dead for a few days or so. during said time his body outwardly does seem very dead. he’s unresponsive and still and isn’t blinking or nothing and his pupils are blown (which he already has huge pupils but yk), like if you were to just show him to someone they’d be like “yeah that’s absolutely a corpse and also why would you show this to me.” but his body is still alive in a sense, it’s just sort of… yknow when you put a computer into sleep mode?? upon first glance it’s gonna look like it’s off but inwardly things are still going on. his body is still working to regenerate itself the whole time, even if whatever he sustained that “killed” him would very much not be healable or survivable by any normal person. in his POV, he just sort of gets knocked out for a while and then wakes up exhausted and sore and absolutely FAMISHED. like he could easily eat a horse without any exaggeration the boy can eat.
he’s also always been interested in horror and the supernatural and crime and shit and is largely desensitized to that sort of stuff from that + experiencing a lot of different deaths himself bc of the whole immortality thing paired with him being generally reckless when he was younger because what’s it gonna do? kill him? (“what’re you gonna do, jeff the kill me?” -him at jeff moments before being stabbed, probably) he says he doesn’t care but it actually effects him deeply in ways he doesn’t understand for a while. as he gets older he becomes less reckless and doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations as often.
all that being said he’s not necessarily all that dangerous himself?? he carries his dagger around with him for protection or cutting up meat and apples or woodcarving more than anything and as a proxy he works a lot more as just an… observer. despite his name he’s not really all for the killing people stuff if he can help it unlike many of the others, if anything his name more so refers to the fact that HE’S usually the one getting slashed up. (it’s actually just bc of my username but shhhhhh) but generally he much prefers to be in the background keeping watch or scoping things out or just sort of… stalking people basically. dont ask me how he manages to be stealthy in THAT outfit… he manages somehow i swear 😔
but yknow overall he’s not an incredible threat to most people, the “creepy” part of him being a creepypasta comes a lot more just from how much it would suck to be in his shoes as just a guy who happens to be immortal but still able to experience the pain of death over and over again. he isn’t the creepy thing as much as his entire life experience is LOL. usually he’s just unsettling and disturbing at most.
he also has a VERY complex relationship with BEN in my AU specifically (WHICH RANDOM DISCLAIMER TIME: NOT THE LITTLE 12 YEAR OLD VERSION NOOOOO EW my au’s BEN is like a combo of “fanon” him and behavioral event network he is not 12 years old and i dont want him being shipped with anything NEAR that version of him, ONLY my AU’s version who is 19. im not a freak. 💔 they’re not a couple anyway (BEN🤝slasher -> being aro) but i did wanna preface that just in case bc im not trying to get misinterpreted like that) might write more about that sometime… bc their relationship has a lot of symbolism and complexity bc BEN is my fav character ever period and yes i am gonna write him and my self insert oc as being incredibly deeply intertwined bc i love him and cringe culture can kick rocks and therapy is difficult to get :3 oc x canon shippers platonic or romantic yall will always be safe on my blog frfr
im gonna post more about BEN soon too…. literally working on actually making a proper design for him rn which is mostly just difficult bc i cannot for the life of me think of what to give this freak to wear. i need them to serve cunt but like….. how do i do that 💔💔 that one BEN design i reblogged that gave him the adorable little heels….. absolutely genius………. u know who u are :3
more random rapid fire fun facts about him bc why not: he loves piercings and tattoos and body mods bc they heal so easily for him, he has his tongue split! (NEEEED to do one day actually my dream body mod), his immortality doesn’t seem to effect his ability to get sick which he HATES but when he does get sick it only lasts for a day or so and he’s a total drama queen the whole time, he loves to sew (though only by hand, he’s genuinely afraid of sewing machines) and will patch up or modify clothes for his friends or other proxies if they ask, his favorite kind of raw meat is boar, and his favorite cooked meat is a tie between pork (boar or domestic pig) and chicken, he wears his headphones most of the time bc he loves music and sounds can sometimes overstimulate him, and BEN can talk to him through them because of course he can, he loves animals and actually has way more empathy for them than for humans, and he absolutely LOVES medical dramas and does not care that a lot of the actual medical parts are inaccurate he will eat them up. he WILL be caught staying up until 6am watching chicago med and he will not apologize.
ANYWAY i think that’s about it actually. if anyone actually read all my ramblings…. i love u /p u mean very much to me /p
i WILL be yapping more soon (except probably about the actual “canon” pastas hehe) :3
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writella · 21 hours ago
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Daryl Dixon Kissing Daydreams— A little look inside Daryl’s memories of kissing his favorite person in the world.
Details: Daryl Dixon x reader (no pronouns are used but there is one instance that I use the word princess), suggestive but overall, just some lovely sweetness! wc: 2k, slightly proofread— my apologies about any misspells, I just really want to get this out and get back to writing!!!
A/N: Let’s get back into things. ♡ I hope you’re all doing well. With love from writella. ♡
Daryl Dixon loves kissing.
He’d never admit it though— albeit that is a weird thing to admit out of nowhere— and he’s never said it out loud— albeit that is a weird thing to say out loud in most normal instances as well�� but either way, he does. He really, really does.
Ironically, it’s his fifth favorite form of affection.
The first is acts of service. He doesn’t call it that though. He probably doesn’t even know the phrase. To him, it’s just being useful. Helping, or as he’d pronounce it, helpin’, or jus helpin’ awut.
This includes hunting to feed others, preparing food (even though he’s awful at it other than roasting things on a fire, so everyone agrees, just hunting), remembering things you like and getting them when and if he can find them, thoughtful gifts that remind him of you— basically any stones or trinkets he finds on his journeys, finding shelter if need be, keeping you safe and warm— even at the expense of himself, fixing things, taking the time to teaching you survival skills you want to learn, the sort.
The second is beating the shit out of people in his loved ones honor. Walkers, “Saviors,” men named Negan, basically, anyone out to kill you. He didn’t like seeing people hurt his friends, but he does enjoy when he gets to fuck people up in case it happens. To that, a subconscious part of Daryl’s brain says thank god there are no therapists in town; or, that they are either too scared to speak to him or have not gotten the chance to speak to him so he doesn’t have to reckon with the fact that his not-so-secret thirst for punching and shooting arrows at people might be just a little too high.
The third is listening. He didn’t know he was good at this until you told him. He doesn’t interrupt and he is not quick to judge, you had said, “or really you just know how to keep the mean things to yourself.” He smiled at that. He realized that yes, he is a silent judger, but he’s also pretty open-minded. He liked that about himself, and he found out because of you. It made him feel nice.
Also, if you were wondering, yes, you may have noticed that these three forms of affection can all be argued as kinds of acts of service, but again, Daryl doesn’t know phrases like that, and even if he did or if he was classifying any of his interests or skills, beating people up and shooting things with arrows would always be in its category.
The fourth is hugging– another one he wouldn’t admit out loud. He’d never say he needed a hug, but wouldn’t deny a friend one, and they became more meaningful to him after moments he’d thought he’d never see them again, or see you again. Hugs became incredibly important then. It made him realize that hugging was also the first form of intimate, physical touch that he ever felt comfortable with. He obviously didn’t grow up in an affectionate home, but he was at least used to getting a pat on the back from Meryl when he caught something good to eat, said something Meryl thought was funny, or did whatever Meryl told him to do “right the first time.” Seldomly though, if Meryl was in one of his good moods, he’d give Daryl an actual hug, one of those nice, brotherly ones. Maybe Meryl was laughing with his friends when saw Daryl, beckoning him over, hugging him by the side saying, “Hey little brother,” as he tussles Daryl’s hair; or at night, when Meryl stumbles in as a sleepy-go-lucky-drunk, lazily throwing his chest and arms around Daryl, telling him, “I love you.” He knew never to take it that seriously in those moments, but he did, he couldn’t help it even if he was good at making it look like he didn’t from the outside. The only other time Meryl would do or say that is when one or both of them got it from their dad. Nevermore did they feel closer, as if they were one half of the other, than in moments like those. Daryl felt almost bad for liking it. He used to have to earn affection, he realized. He’s almost ready to talk about it. With you. You give him so much so freely. He’s shocked and sometimes terrified by it. But your helping, your saving, your listening, your hugging– it made him feel ready to speak. It is what also helped him learn his last favorite form of affection, the one mentioned above and only saved for you, the fifth–
–kissing.
One of his favorite places to kiss you is by your fireplace. You two would sit on the rug and you’d ask him to drag the coffee table to where you sat. The two of you ate dinner there sometimes, near the fire on a cold winter evening, or you used it as a place to set down your drinks and whatever game you two were playing, or to use as a resting spot for your elbows as he listened to you talk for what felt like an enchanting forever.
He never tired of your voice as you spoke about your old favorite tv shows and movies and books that he had never watched or read, listening with no interruption– as he always does– or waiting for moments to ask you questions or follow-up questions about this character or that and you’d answer with as much as your memory recalled. You’d make yourself laugh with how silly and passionate you got over these things and he would smile softly, blue eyes glowing in the firelight because he liked hearing you speak, he liked everything you had to say.
It’s moments like this when your smiles catch one another’s and your eyes lock a few seconds longer than before because there is nothing else left to place your gaze on that Daryl places his hand on yours or on your leg and you know that means he wants you closer. His hand moves to your face and his thumb gently swipes and caresses your jaw and you both stay there for a moment, looking at each other. You move in slowly and you kiss him so soft and and tender and tentatively like a princess. His princess. The one who made everything so lovely and magical to what he thought of as his weird and jagged gremlin self.
Daryl gets excited during the times you decide to initiate. It makes him feel courageous when you’re courageous. He grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer, taking control as he slips his tongue in your mouth.
You sigh, warmth and happiness surrounding you as you allow him to take control. Grabbing your head as gently as his rough hands would allow, he sets you on the rug, giving you pecks before looking down at you one last time, seeing the fire illuminate your face with red and orange— the colors of his heart and mind when he’s around you— and then, finally, places himself atop of you and goes back to kissing you. Once again, he slides his tongue in your mouth, wordlessly telling you how much he loves you and how much he loves this. His hands trail down from your waist to your neck as you grab his and play with his hair as you kiss into the night until your mouths are sore.
Daryl also remembers your first kiss. You were angry with him, or at least that’s what he thought. But it was more so frustration, a tinge of disappointment. You were falling for him, desperately so whether you wanted to admit it or not, but it’s so hard to fall for someone not willing to open their heart— you can only be so patient. So, uncharacteristically, at least when it came to him, you got in his face, you got loud, you told him how you felt. Not that you loved him, no, not yet. You told him he’s closed off, that you couldn’t take it anymore, that you wanted him to be honest, to be real, to just say how he felt anytime, all the time, whenever he wanted. You never took him as fearful, but still, thoughtlessly, as your faces almost touched, you asked, “What are you so afraid of, Daryl? It’s only me.”
And then, he kissed you. Because it’s not “only” you, it’s because of you. You were everything. So despite bubbling anxiety that rises in his throat, he did it, he put his lips to yours and did it accidently so much more harshly than he should have, but he did it. He was honest. He was real. Because even if he didn’t say it yet, he loved you too. You almost cried when it happened. Nothing ever felt that right. As he lets go, you have so much to say but you’re speechless. All you could do is take the chance he gave you— you kissed him back, again and again.
Another one of his favorite places to kiss is behind houses Kisses behind houses were for a quick session or during the moments he’d be leaving for a trip. Sometimes the things he had to do meant there was a possibility of him dying, and while there were times that you’d journey with him, there were other times when you were needed elsewhere whether at home or on a journey of your own. This meant goodbye kisses. Passionate but bittersweet.
These are the moments he wishes more than ever that fucked you— he means had sex with you– he’s a gentleman— the night before, just in case he didn’t come back. Most of the time he cannot even think about kids. This world is crazy, and he enjoyed his freedom far too much, but there were moments, like when he thought about how he couldn’t see life without you that he did wonder about legacy, about a domestic life with you, or, if he did die, to at least leave you with a piece of him and the love you build together. But then other times he thinks, fuck, no; he always comes back and he’d never want to leave you to do something as big as raise a child on your own– you liked your freedom too, and he liked being an uncle. Either way, it was a fleeting feeling anyhow, but it did make him feel like a gross guy sometimes. Not only because he had never spoken to you about the future yet and didn’t know what you want, but especially during the times where he thinks, damn, he should have turned you over onto your stomach last night, give you something you’d really remember him by, but truly, if one likes sex, these thoughts are that one has sometimes… no one can blame him, he’s just a 40-something-year old girl, after all.
Daryl also likes taking you into the woods for a hunt or taking you on his motorcycle to find a good place to kiss. He is obsessed with privacy. He wants to feel free to be himself. And even though he does feel like he can with the core group, the real him around them is not the same as when he is the real him around you– the one who is your boyfriend and partner, the him who can also be a romantic and sexual being when you two are alone. Almost no one knows him like that and he’s never been in a rush to share or talk about his experiences. He’s not like Rick, he feels, that kind of effortless shifting between roles Rick has about him, not afraid to be open, communicative, affectionate about different areas of his life with friends. In some ways he will always still feel new to all this romance stuff, therefore, he likes to keep it to himself. So yes, sometimes since the group thinks they all have the right to walk into each other’s houses whenever they feel like it— (Daryl is actually the main culprit of this since he has had free dinners and slept in most of their couches and basements than anyone else, but we wont talk about that now)—you have made out or had sex in quite a few different places.
Moving back to the sweeter stuff, Daryl also loves forehead kisses. Giving them and reviving them. But if he was receiving he only liked it when you two were alone. In fact, he likes any kissing only when you’re alone anyway, but especially so to any kissing or affection that look super domestic. Daryl doesn’t try to look cool, but he also doesn’t need the public to know he has more emotions and ways of nurturing that people in town don’t need to know of. He doesn’t consciously consider himself a mysterious person but, ever since most people started generally liking him and talking to him– which he equally found as both pretty nice and weird– he realized he covets the fact that there are still some people who were shy, confused, or on edge by his presence. He doesn’t totally get it and sometimes he’s confused by other people’s confusion but he likes that it means he has some sort of control. You think about how people treat him versus how he is with Rick or the kids in town, or you are hilarious. People think he’s the guy who gets it done or that he’s domineering or both, and he is those things, but he’s also just a massive teddy bear that likes caring for people while also not liking people. It's the most interesting paradox.
Lastly, here is Daryl’s favorite kiss. It was one you had given him. He said it. He finally told you. You had told him a story of how someone left you, how much it hurt, how hard it is to know you’ll never get to talk to them again, to settle things, to let go the proper way now that you’re in this new world. So, in return, to make you feel less alone and to finally get it out, he told you that sometimes Meryl only ever told him he loved him when he got hurt. He told you that it felt like Meryl picked the times that cared for him, cared for him like brother should and not just sidekick or accomplice, that it was those instances and others things that had happened to him in his past with his dad or with the group in the beginning of all of this, is what made him feel he was unlovable. So many other things came out after that and even through the shock, you could see everything he said happening to him, it made sense, and your heart broke for him.
This time, you move your hand to his, you beckon him closer. Your fingers trail down his face after placing a piece of his hair to the side, caressing his. You tell him, “I’ve never had a friend like you. I’ve never had a love like you. I love you all the time. You’re always worthy.” And with that, you seal your words with a kiss.
That was when he truly knew he liked kissing. He learned what it could actually mean and feel like when it happens with someone so perfect for you— the true peace and romance of it all. He had never experienced something more beautiful.
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v4mpyinred · 2 days ago
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ok this might be hella long, but I need to scream about some details about Makoto Yuki in Persona 3 Reload, because they're so missable so I feel like nobody else has noticed or cared about them other than me!!!!
Please someone hear me out 😭 (spoilers ahead)
One underrated thing about Reload, which is my favorite thing ever, is that we get to hear Makoto's thoughts when interacting with the world around him. Compare it to FES where the game's inner dialouge is in 2nd person, Makoto's inner dialouge in Reload is in first person.
I didn't give too much attention to a Makoto's thoughts in my 1st playthrough and I think it's what made me not as attached to Makoto as I would've liked in that playthrough. But god, in my 2nd playthrough, especially after watching the movies, all of that changed...
I noticed that Makoto's thoughts genuinely change as the game progresses. You see him start off as indifferent to everything, to cherishing the memories he's made with his friends.
For instance, take a look at his thoughts on the kitchen. I don't have a screenshot of this, but at first, he doesn't really care and just sees it as another tool. But as the game progresses...
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This dialouge makes me swoon every time 😭💜
One of the biggest hidden details is Makoto's inner thoughts when you interact with the book on the dorm table. He has individual thoughts on the handwriting of each member of SEES as they join, which were delightful to read in my 2nd playthrough.
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But what shocked me the most was after Shinji dies, if you interact with the book, then here are Makoto's inner thoughts:
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That "..." doesn't show up if you interact with the book again. This was very intentional. And god, did that hit me extremely hard. In fact, if you interact with anything involving Shinji after he passes, you can really see how much Makoto respected him :((
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Once January rolls around, Makoto's thoughts change to this sweet message 😭💜
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Ngl I almost teared up when I saw this for the first time. Especially since it was my 2nd playthrough, and I was actually attached to Makoto this time + I knew what was up ahead :')
shit there's even dialouge if you go to the bathroom on the Promised day 😍
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Don't even get me started on Makoto's inner dialouge on March 4th. Pretty much everything interactable is changed to fit the mood of how tired Makoto is, but also how much he's appreciated the year and the memories he's made.
Like when you interact with the kitchen, his inner dialouge about the kitchen changes once last time to this (credits to alanamisako):
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This shit made me burst into tears so badly 😭😭😭 "I'll never forget those precious memories" FOUL atlus, FOUL!!! His thoughts on Shinji's room change on March 4th as well 🥲
Just seeing how much Makoto had grown throughout the game, and knowing what was to come, made this, and all the other March 4th dialouge, even harder to get through in my 2nd playthrough. It also resonated with me, because I too will never forget the precious memories I've made with this game...
Things like this make me appreciate Reload so much. Interacting with every little thing is my favorite pass time in video games that allow me to do it. I've probably wasted so much time in games doing this. But most game's interactables don't have this depth, and they certainly don't change at all, even as the game and protagonist develop. I also feel like nobody else takes the time to really interact with everything or see if there's anything else to see before they progress (trust me, if a game says go left, I'm always going to go right first), and it makes me sad that so much of this, and other details, go unnoticed. I've certainly heard "I've never noticed that" a lot when sharing these sorts of things with people 😭
Things like this really help flesh out the protagonist people call "bland". I really love silent protagonist and developing their personality based on their thoughts on the world around them. I also love worldbuilding and learning about other characters through it.
And I'm trying so hard to not let Makoto take Joker's place as my favorite protagonist (cuz the rest of SEES have already done that to the PTs LOL) but it's been getting harder these days. Makoto is just so perfect! I love his growth & seeing all of his inner thoughts and combining it with movie Makoto's AMAZING characterization (plz watch the p3 movies ya'll) just made me super attached to him!! I could scream about Makoto all day. He cares so much for his friends, and it's thanks to them that he's able to appreciate the life he didn't know he could have 🥲
So I highly encourage you to interact with everything when playing Reload! From NPCs, to random things that aren't the main objective (trying to leave when you're supposed to be fighting a full moon shadow leads to some funny dialouge for instance), etc etc.. especially as the game progresses. I mean, we all laughed at the 3 coffins in the Love Hotel, and there's so many other details and foreshadowing like that I can't even get into! It really immerses you and attaches you to the protag, but also makes the end of the game hit hard...That "my eyes feel heavy" got me horribly in my 2nd playthrough after keeping up with Makoto's thoughts the entire game HOO BOY!🥲
I also recommend you do this with other games as well. Video games have always been an experience over just a game to me. And I want to experience as much of the game as I can, even silly little things like this :)
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justinspoliticalcorner · 2 days ago
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Ryan Adamczeski at The Advocate:
It’s not lost on transgender youth that they “shouldn't have to feel like this” after an election.
President-elect Donald Trump will soon begin his second term, which already poses greater threats to the LGBTQ+ community than his first – particularly to the trans community, which has seen skyrocketing attacks on their bathroom use, sports participation, health care, and beyond in just the past few years, most of which has targeted youth. As restrictive state laws stand on the brink of becoming national, lawmakers and many in the mainstream media refuse to consider the voices of actual trans people. To bridge this gap, The Advocate asked young trans people about the biggest challenges facing them – and what the rest of us can do to help. The respondents are remaining anonymous out of an abundance of caution for their personal safety. Trans youth shared a widespread sense of exhaustion and disillusionment when Trump’s victory was announced. C, an 18-year-old trans woman, said that she “was able to vote for the first time, and I was really excited because it was my first time.” For those her age, today’s era of polarization and opportunism has been their introduction to politics.
[...]
These youth are acutely aware of how they had to come of age in an era hostile to their existence, in which the elected officials tasked with protecting them have instead used their power to hurt them. To S, a 20-year-old trans man, “it's exhausting to feel like our existence is constantly up for debate,” and it’s “really disheartening to see political leaders targeting people like me.” Still, he says he won’t let it stop him from doing the work that needs to be done. “As much as sometimes I just want to wallow in those feelings, I also feel really determined and almost inspired. I'm inspired by the resilience of the trans community and our allies,” S says. “Every day I'm seeing people stand up to push against the misunderstanding and hate towards our community, whether it's through advocacy and education, work, or simply living authentically.” The biggest concerns trans youth have now are access to gender-affirming care, and safety. As someone who “passes,” D says that he’s not as worried about a random assault as much as he is about having to hide who he is just to participate in his community.
[...]
S also voiced extreme concern over a potential national gender-affirming care ban, as he says “legislation that targets healthcare access, such as gender firming care bans, is life-threatening for transgender individuals.” This is true – The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, the World Medical Association, and the World Health Organization all agree that gender-affirming care is evidence-based and medically necessary for both adults and youth. Beyond the effect a ban would have on mental health, S worries “about the mental health toll of living under constant attack, especially for transgender and nonbinary youth who might not have the love and support that they deserve from their communities.” Now is the time that he believes “more than ever, trans and nonbinary youth need unwavering support and affirmation from their family, friends, and community.” “What people can do is just support our trans and nonbinary peers and friends, let them know that we're in this battle together, because constant support is needed,” C adds. “Ensure that we still feel like we belong and that we are loved, even during these really difficult times that we're going to experience.” “It's really important that people see us as just human, because we have so many things that excite us. I don't want people to only see that there's only one thing to meet, because I'm so much more than that,” she continues. However, there is only so much that interpersonal support can do in the face of legislative attacks. S says that “from elected officials, trans youth need policies that prioritize their safety and well-being, such as policy supporting access to proper health care and protection in schools and even beyond.” He believes officials also need to play a bigger role in the ongoing culture war by “amplifying positive narratives about trans people and actively working to combat the misinformation that fuels the discrimination and hate towards individuals like me.”
The Advocate has a must-read story on the terrifying impact of anti-trans policies the GOP trifecta under Trump will harmfully impact trans youths.
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utilitycaster · 21 hours ago
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Idk how to articulate this but in regards to a lot of defense of certain elements of C3 being that they “make sense” in universe, (Ashton becoming indecisive, the party not knowing each other well because of the little passage of time, the party not having stakes in much of things,) it’s always very misguided because something can make sense in universe and still be a really bad writing decision. Especially if you’re trying to respond to an out of universe criticism with in universe logic.
Correct. I think there are two big problems with these arguments. The first, is as you said, the fact that these Doylist critiques (story poorly structure, party lacks investment) are being met with Watsonian defenses (makes sense for the party). We're saying "the party should have been given a reason for investment in the beginning."
The second is, and I've been reluctant to point this out because the bulk of hate I've gotten has been (largely false and frankly idiotic) claims of hypocrisy. But man is a lot of this hypocritical, the defense of Ashton specifically. Like, yes, Ashton is someone who's had a difficult life and frequently had very little power, so the fact that they do have power now isn't something they are used to. However, and this really is the even larger problem, just because a sentient being has a reason for feeling a certain way does not in fact mean that acting on it is excused from criticism. Ashton also learned he contained the shard of a titan only a few weeks ago; why aren't we granting the same "well, it's new, let them process" it to the party's fixation on avenging the titans? Why are we getting this from people who frequently treated Orym as "irrational" and bent on nothing but vengeance for deaths he'd carried for six years and had thought about extensively? Hey, Ludinus is acting from trauma! So is Liliana, according to a lot of these people. If acting from trauma is always valid, then criticism of any of these people is cut off. So clearly, what you do with that trauma matters!
You can feel any way about anything, but how you act matters, and time and time again, a huge number of Bells Hells and Campaign 3 fans have argued that actually it doesn't, and if you've ever had your choices curtailed your lack of agency means you are entitled to do whatever the fuck you want. It extends to themselves as well - doesn't matter if (for example) there's absolutely no indication that Gelvaan's issue with Imogen was homophobia or misogyny and in 118 episodes there hasn't been - if you feel like Imogen's experience is relatable to your real-world one where those were factors then obviously your feelings are right so who cares about like, the facts of the situation! You're new to the campaign! You can't be EXPECTED to LOOK THINGS UP and THINK.
You know what I realized, upon answering this question: I don't know if Ludinus realized that the impact of reaching out to Predathos would be the ruin of Molaesmyr; I don't think he was terribly worried about consequences but I do think it's fair to say "he might have not realized how badly this could go, and was surprised as any by the result". Just someone following a path because they were hurt and traumatized and not thinking things through. We keep talking about how Bells Hells might be remembered as Vespin Chloras, and they might be remembered as such, but Vespin was an arrogant but genuinely competent and even, arguably, well-intentioned person with a clear plan that was ultimately a gross underestimate. I think they're more likely to be just fuck-ups in the dark who could cause mass destruction because they cared far, far more about the hurt they'd received than the world around them.
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mochimochimona · 2 days ago
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Analyizing Viktor and Jayce from Arcane, S1 E5 Part Two - Am I ruining this ship for me or what
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So Viktor being a genuis because he had "a vision" and just explains how runes and mages work and is that..foreshadowing again? Like how did he got these informations? It would have been nice to have a bit more context, because with that scene from the previous post I might get my tinfoil hat back. Anyway, Viktor is mansplaining Jayce and here is the first thing I noticed, the fond and admiring expression on Jayce's face:
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Again, that can be completly platonic still. Am I ruining this ship for me now or what?
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Viktors absolutly unfazed reaction makes me laugh so much, god I love this man.
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But I think there was a first impulse of reaching out to Viktor, just a short tilt of his hand - to make sure Viktor is alright. And his Question "Are You Sure This is safe" was met by a rather cold "of course not" by Viktor and Jayce is reacting like that and I had to make a GIF out of this scene or else I can't explain what I mean.
So Jayce is staring at Viktor, and he feels guilt and I think he wants to say something but he is also unsure of what exactly to say, because he knows Viktor is right and also has the right to be cold towards Jayce, since he is leaving him alone. I think it dawns on him, unconsiously, that what he is doing is wrong and it's nagging at him. So far no interpretation from my side that Jayce is into Viktor the same way Viktor might be into him, though. I am on the way to ruin my delusion.
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Mel is such a strong politican, I love her for her cunning way to get Jayce on her side and manipulating him. Again, Mel is one of my fav Chars in Arcane but I do think they don't have either an equal relationship, nor a deep one at that. It feels rather cold to me.
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"You pushed this on me". I think it's nice to see he is struggling and not wanting this, but Mel is REALLY good. Girl you slay queen!
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Here he looses his inner battle against playing the politican, the struggle was made so clear and was well portrayed, you could feel it!
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Foreshadowing at it's best: "There's been quite the investements" - and Mel said "Indeed, better than expected" - Do you remember Jayce accusing Mel of treating him and Viktor as investements? ohhh what a nice foreshadowing! And here it is made clear that Mel is using Jayce for her own goals. Love myself a good, calculated politican!
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Well he does look at Mel adoringly. This scene is also important. Because she makes a move on him, and he says "I couldn't have done it without you"
Wait, that actually makes me mad. He couldn't have done SHIT without Viktor. You asshole, Jayce!
And now comes the most heartwrenching scene I have ever seen in my live. Given the feeling of me that Viktor has feelings for Jayce (we can argue which, can't we?) making the deliberate choice to show us Jayce and Mel doing bed gymnastics (sorry I am german, it's a way of saying here lol) and parrallel Viktor collapsing? This is INTENTIONAL. They wanted us to show what Jayce chose and did not choose. What would have been important and what shouldn't have been important. It is quite the foreshadowing, too, because Jayce will regret his actions - which is a topic on it's own.
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The fact, that they put Sky in this scene makes it even more obvious or sus, as you may say, because if you wanted to show us that Jayce did choose poorly it would have been enough to show Viktor alone in his study the whole time, and not with Sky approaching and making moves onto Viktor.
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Foreshadowing again with Sky saying "There is always tomorrow, right". rip haha.
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Viktor is comepletly uninterested in her, romantically speaking. I think it's not because he doesn't get her advances. I think saying her name "goodnight luisanne(?)" makes it clear they do have some kind of relationship. Her implying "again" makes me think she asked many times and this wording from Viktor is his attempt of being polite and respectful, but drawing boundaries for himself.
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Him getting angry, throwing the papers around is a stark contrast to his usual composed nature, I think it's a nice way to show how deperate he is because he KNOWS he doesn't have much time anymore. He gets fainty again and hears voices and sounds, which is again really interesting because there is no shimmer corruption in this situation. So what is that sound? Who is it? IS IT HIMSELF?
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Again he coughes blood and I think there are two different kinds of runes in this: the one without the corruption of the void/shimmer and the one with, which is making him go bonkers I guess. Because I have the feeling the old Viktor is actually a mage and using only the runes, not the void. Which doesn't make it any less dangerous but you get what I am saying. I hope.
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Him going down and fast cut to Mel and Jayce, who are making out WITH A GALAXY BACKGROUND?????? Wait what AM I SEEING. This is deliberate, intentional again, I don't think the smashing is that good she sees stars lolkek.
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Maybe I am interpreting way too much into it, but is that a parrallell to the scene in which Viktor and Jayce are connected in the astral plane (or whatever)? I am weezing.
Also what I do find interesting and I don't have an idea why they choose to frame it like this: The Hexcore absorbed Viktors blood and we can see it travel through it, kinda melting together with the hexcore-DNA while you see a sillouette of Mel (why not Jayce, am I asking?). I am not sure what to make out of that. It could be a metaphor for connection. Like Viktor connected to the hexcore and Mel with Jayce, but it was weird to not see more of Jayce, you know? like why were we so focused on Mel here? Is that a foreshadowing that Mel is a mage, but that won't make any sense to me. And I am asking, because I am here for discussion: Why using this cutting, this parallel scenes? Why do you show us this, anyway? You could have implied them having smash-time, but you intentionally put those two things next to each other. Did you wanted to make us angry because Jayce was hooking up but he should have been with Viktor the whole time! That's absolutly implying you think we think bros before hoes! But that's just a saying, I do think everyone goes for the hoe at some point (respectfully, of course). I am getting a headache, this scene made me mad honestly. I was so hurting for Viktor, he was so alone. And when Mel wakes up, she looks a bit pissed that Jayce is gone, honestly lmao. But not in a way like she is disappointing because she wanted to cuddle, but because I guess she thought she had Jayce by his balls or something (well she did).
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The cut to Viktor laying on the hospital bed and Jayce shaking and whipping his leg IS A MASTERPIECE. And honestly, the feeling creeps in...like why do that cut? Why stay on Mel and transition to Viktor in the same camera angle. Do you want to tell us something? You could have done a camera angle from the side, showing us Jayce being panicky if you wanted to show us that, but we get this parallel. This is sus, not gonna lie.
So, @stardust-musings provided me a link with a deleted scene where Jayce was wiping away his crying, if you want to see that, here: https://www.tumblr.com/stardust-musings/767415218102059008?source=share
We discussed that Jayce definetly has a lot of affection for Viktor, which one can be argued with but I do think his reaction in general is really important here, though the crying wouldn't only have IMPLIED Viktor is really important to him but made it clear, because he had an open and really vulnerable reaction here. So with that in mind, his actions coming might him be struggling to find out what Viktor really is to him, because as stated above, this gives off mixed signals. I get you can cry about you "brother/hombie" being in a hospital and dying, given the deep relationship as friends. I think this shot is important to make it clear that the love is there, but what love can be interpreted still and Jayce is figuring it out himself.
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And there it is, we have regret showing! Honestly, I do get why you chase to your best friend if he is in a hospital and you get the message. But guilt? Regret? Doubt? Panic? Devastation? Realtalk here because I think this is important: As someone who has had a lot of people in the hospital on the deathbed and so on, I don't think anyone will rush to their bro and leaving their spouse behind (and she didn't even know what was up), without like waking them up and telling them what's up, ya know. You may be panicing, but you are connected to your partner and I think you will share this information and trying to get comfort FIRST (not after you visited). So I would explain to my partner what's up and my partner would come visit with me, too, because I care for my friend but I also care for my spouse, ya know. Him leaving Mel who he slept with the night before because his friend was brought into hospital is really rushed and I think he has a deep connection with Viktor and cares about him a lot, so much so, that he doesn't care who he slept with, because he is more important. But I do think Jayce still is not in love with Viktor. Yet? But it makes no sense to leave Mel there, I mean she knows Viktor too and if you have a connection, you would at least wake her up. Even if it's in the middle of the night. So this is confusing, I have to think about it more. Your thoughts are appreciated. Also sorry for any misspellings, I am tired.
It makes sense he left Mel, because she would have seen him breaking down over his friend and maybe he didn't want to be vulnerable in fron of Mel and Viktor, because he tried to kept his panic together. But again, I find it interesting how they telled us this with these scenes. They wanted to imply, I am sure of it, the first time that Jayce always chooses Viktor. Which is, honestly, a love letter on it's own tbh.
That was Part Two, I will continue tomorrow! I am obsessed with this now lol
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crime-scene-psychic · 1 day ago
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I honestly think that the Nolan Batman trilogy was the best and worst thing to happen to the Batman franchise, because on one hand, it was the first live-action instance of trying to make Batman more gritty and serious (because while the Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney movies took the story much more seriously than the 60s television show, they were still goofy at times, which is why I honestly think they're the best rendition of Batman, because they were able to balance silliness with seriousness, which is what Batman is all about, but that's obviously an entirely different thesis) which then allowed for more people to take comic book movies serious, consequently leading to the rise of the DCEU and, obviously, the MCU (we would not have the MCU today and the actual good movies that came out of it without Nolan's trilogy, there's simply no argument there).
However, the Nolan trilogy also unfortunately made "dark, gritty Batman" the norm, meaning that once anyone tries to actually have some fun with Batman, they immediately get shit on by comic book dude bros. It also created the most annoying characterization of the Joker that everyone has been trying to replicate since and no one will be able to replicate, because they simply do not understand the character (I honest to God think the closest live-action actor who has ever made a Joker character work besider Heath Ledger was Cameron Monaghan in the Gotham television show, and he wasn't even really Joker??? but at least he didn't make it everyone else's problem and was a good mix of goofy and psychotic, not just psychotic) and will never be Heath Ledger (but they don't stop trying much to my forever annoyment).
And while I can recognize the cultural and significant impact on the comic and film community that Nolan's trilogy had, it is still by far my least favorite adaptation because of how serious it takes itself (and of course, the racism. The racism is actually the bigger one for me. Fuck Christopher Nolan for that. Ra's al Ghul is NOT a white man just because you want a plot twist, and you CANNOT just erase Bane being mixed race because you fucking FEEL LIKE IT because him being mixed race is extremely relevant to his origin). Batman has had serious moments in the comics, don't get me wrong, and I know things must evolve and change over time and that I cannot expect an 80 year old character to not be further developed throughout the decades, but it almost feels as if Nolan and Goyer (the writer) read a Sparks Notes version of the history of Batman, cracked their knuckles, and said "yeah, I think I got it."
Spoiler alert: they did not get it.
When I watch the Nolan trilogy (which I haven't in quite some time and I really don't want to, even to prove a point to people on the Internet) I notice how uninspired it feels, story-wise. While the action and cinematography is excellent, the story is lacking for me, and when you're telling a story like Batman, that has decades of content, you cannot just forgo storytelling for cool special effects.
I'd much rather watch a Batman adaptation that has the shittiest effects known to man with a writer who whole-heartily cares for the characters they're writing and has taken time to research. And that's honestly one of the biggest problems the comic book film industry is having now, both DC and Marvel. They're not hiring people who actually care about these characters to write them and they're focusing much more at appealing to everyone they can instead of who the movies should be made for: fans.
You're gonna have such a harder time convincing my mom, a woman who only cares about Wonder Woman, to watch the new Captain America film than you would someone who has read the Sam Wilson Cap comic run. And while this entire issue stems from the fact that the film industry is just that, an industry, and has become less about filmmakers making art and more-so how much money investors and producers can get out of ticket sales, it is still infuriating to see franchises you care deeply about be ruined by guys just there to cash their paychecks and be done with it.
And really, the film industry as we know it needs to be fucking demolished from the inside out, but that will never happen and now we're a bit off-topic. So, back to Batman.
I think another issue I have with newer live-action Batman adaptations is that they choose to forgo a VERY IMPORTANT character when it comes to Batman/Bruce Wayne's evolution as a character and story line.
Robin.
Since whatever the fuck the casting of Chris O'Donnell in 1995 was (why was he, like, a grown man?), people have been afraid to touch a live-action Dick Grayson with a six-foot pole (besides Titans, which I'm gonna get to in a sec). Which is ridiculous, because he is, like I said, an insanely important character when it comes to showing the growth Bruce Wayne goes through.
Bruce Wayne becomes Batman because he is so angry about his parent's deaths and the corruption of Gotham that he doesn't know what else to do. All the money in the world cannot change things for the better, his own father tried and died for his troubles, and he is left with no other option. Bruce Wayne works during the day to fight corruption via charity and his company, Batman works during the night and is able to do what Bruce Wayne can't (beating the shit out of people, mainly). The two are separate sides of the same coin.
And despite this seeming like a good arrangement, it's pretty obvious in most adaptations (at least they get THAT right) that beating the shit out of people in back alleys is not a good replacement for therapy. You're able to see the toll being Batman has on Bruce. He quickly becomes more occupied with being a vigilante than being himself. Bruce needs something to break through this internal struggle and help him balance both lives.
And so a boy named Dick Grayson comes along.
Dick's so important (and so are the other Robins, of course, but Dick being the first means I have to talk about him a bit more) because he forced Bruce to get his shit together. Here's a boy who's about the same age Bruce was when his parents died, who also just saw his parents killed in front of him, and is so full of rage he has no idea what to do. Sounds familiar...
Bruce is able to help himself by helping Dick. He gives him an outlet to vent his anger and frustrations while also looking out for him in the best way he can. While there are many issues with how Robin comes to be in various comic runs (and if this was real life it would be fucking ridiculous) Dick becoming Robin is extremely important. If he hadn't been taken in by Bruce Wayne, if he'd been allowed to let that anger continue to bubble up inside of him, he probably would have killed Tony Zucco and that would have been enough to set Dick down a terrible path he might not recover from.
The same goes for Bruce. If he were to set out and kill the person who shot his parents, he wouldn't be a hero anymore because that single event would shatter the entire point of Batman, which is that he is not meant to decide who lives and dies. If he were, how would he be any different than all the villains in Gotham that he fights as Batman? How would he be better than the corrupt businessman and politicians that he has to battle as Bruce Wayne? He wouldn't.
Batman needs Robin and Robin needs Batman, because they are yin and yang. Light within darkness, darkness within light. You cannot separate these characters and still tell an accurate story, it's impossible. I think that's a huge issue Nolan's movies have, on top of many others. You cannot accurately present to me a Batman story if there is no Robin, just as you couldn't give me a Robin story without Batman.
Every Robin is so important to how Bruce Wayne as a character is developed, and disregarding this as a creator is not only disrespectful to the character, it misses the entire point. I refuse to take your adaptation of Batman seriously if you can't figure out how important Robin is. He isn't just some kid sidekick, he isn't an optional side character, he is what makes Batman human. You cannot have gritty, Neo-noir Batman and forgo Robin just because you see him as the sidekick in tights. When Batman was silly and took itself less seriously, sure, there wasn't a lot to Robin nor Batman's troubling pasts. But now that you want to deep dive into Bruce Wayne's psyche and pick apart what makes him the way he is you wanna throw in the towel and erase the part that humanizes him? Fuck. You.
You can't make a complex Bruce Wayne and take away parts that help audiences understand his complexities, that's fucking STUPID!
Titans, for all its faults and problems, will always have my gratitude as it had the fucking balls to give, without a doubt, the best and most rounded live-action adaptation of Dick Grayson we have ever seen. Titans introduces Dick at a very important and rocky time in his character arch: him leaving Bruce.
If you're not in the know, there's a falling out between Bruce and Dick that's been written a couple different ways over the years, but all comes down to Dick being "fired" from being Robin and leaving Gotham. This is a bit of a newer story line in comparison to how long the character of Dick Grayson has been around, and eventually leads to Dick becoming independent from Bruce, signalling his evolution from "side kick" to his own hero, Nightwing. However, there's issues with Dick having to give up the Robin mantel, because it's something that is whole-heartily Dick Grayson. Robin wasn't something Bruce Wayne came up with, it was the nickname his parents gave to him. Even the colors are his, those were the colors of the Flying Graysons' uniforms. Robin is much more than just a vigilante alter-ego to Dick, it is the last link he has to his past and his parents. So when this is taken away from him and given to another, this causes a huge internal struggle for Dick, as he has to deal with the anger he now has for Bruce, a man he originally looked up to and idolized. This is Dick seeing how wrong it was for Bruce to do some of the things he did to Dick, despite at the time those choices being what both needed.
The way Titans is able to portray this extremely delicate time in Dick's story line in a way that not only makes sense for his character, but also allows for growth is really admirable. Like I said, the show isn't perfect by any means (can I PLEASE get a Romani actor to play Dick PLEASE) but it's the first time I feel that the character is wholeheartedly taken serious in a live-action setting. You can tell the writers have a better idea about how the characters should interact in a live-action setting and while some choices are questionable to me, the heart is there.
Nolan's movies in comparison feel soulless and devoid of all creativity and love. He does not care about these characters, no matter how much he tries to make you think that, and he never will. Christopher Nolan, you will NEVER convince me that you give two shits about Bruce Wayne. And if you, the director, can't bother to care, why should the audience? Why should I care about your adaptation if you can't even be bothered to put an ounce of individuality into it?
With Matt Reeves' Batman films underway, things are getting worse again. For a while, we only had to deal with the shitty Joker adaptations that tried to replicate Ledger's Joker, but with the Reeves Batman movies, the film bros are making themselves known again. I remember when the new design for the Riddler dropped and I said it was shit and people on Twitter and YouTube got SO PISSY at me and told me I just don't understand Batman and that I'm childish for enjoying the designs for Gotham Riddler/ Batman Forever Riddler and whatever and that I'm stupid, which none of those things are true, I hate to be confident in anything, but I think I know more about Batman than you do, Twitter troll.
The suit sucked and the character sucked. They just created a new character but gave him the Riddler's name. That's NOT the Riddler. That's honestly closer to Hush than Riddler, so just... do that? But of course, less people know about Hush than Riddler, and you're not trying to make a film for fans, you're trying to make money, so why would you ever be so silly as to do that! I'm not gonna talk to much about the new Riddler, just because it's super old news and it's not the point I was trying to make here, it's just something that continues to piss me off when it comes to gritty recreations of characters, because Riddler really never was supposed to be some Zodiac Killer wannabe, he's supposed to be a guy who leaves you riddles and makes you solve them and he's supposed to be a little silly about it. And I'm not saying you can't do a more gritty Riddler, because Arkham Knights did it super well imo! Just don't reinvent the wheel! Don't just make a new character and call him by another's name, that's a disservice to the character themselves and their creators.
This is a hard topic, because you have people who get the point of these characters (people who have actually read a comic before and paid attention to the story) but you also have insufferable film/comic bros who worship the ground Nolan and Reeves walks upon and who don't even take time to explore the rest of the Batfamily comics (his gang of vigilante children show up in the stand-alone Batman comics, though, so I don't know how they're missing this, unless they have the reading comprehension of a goldfish, which they probably do tbh). It's why I think a lot of these weirdos don't like Gotham Knights or Wayne Family Adventures, because they hate the thought of there being any semblance of fun in the Batman franchise. Not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Let Dick Grayson be bisexual and let Bruce Wayne have a PTA rival! You can have your cake and eat it too!
I know this seems like a silly sentiment coming from a person who just wrote an entire essay on this, but maybe don't take Batman so seriously? I don't mean, of course, that you can't care about these characters, I'm actually saying the opposite! I care very deeply for these characters, so much that I obviously spat all this out. I just think some people need to fucking chill when it comes to realistically portraying Batman. There's nothing wrong with taking a more serious approach to the characters and I have no problem modernizing them, but you can't just have action hero Batman, you have to have the human behind the mask too. And if you can't balance that, then I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be making Batman adaptations, because you obviously don't understand what the character is about.
I'm nervous to see where Reeves will go with the character, and only time will tell. I've heard rumors he plans to introduce Robin, I've heard rumors he doesn't. Either way, it's obviously out of my hands and I'll have opinions either way, but I really hope he has a better understanding of the history of the franchise than Nolan. While I appreciate, again, what Nolan did for revolutionizing not only the Batman franchise but the comic movie industry as well, I can still find faults in how he went about things. I truly don't believe we can have a worthy adaptation of Batman live action without Robin and without embracing the silliness of Batman's villains and I really hope producers, writers, and directors realize that soon.
Sorry if you read all that...
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luckyartdrawer · 3 days ago
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100 Follower Milestone Poll! 🎉🎉🎉
Heya lovelies!!! This blog hit 100 followers oh my goodness!!!
I really can't believe it, it's so awesome to see you all here! <333 Whether you're new or old around here it doesn't matter, I am electronically hugging and/or patting all of your heads in great thanks! ✨💖✨💖✨💖✨
To celebrate, I have some options in a poll for y'all to choose what you would like to see for this milestone! I HIGHLY suggest reading the explanations of each option below the break! It clarifies some important details. Its down there so any of y'all just scrolling by won't have to worry about a wall of text! <3
Please feel free to vote even if you aren't following me!!!
Poll Options explanations:
Drop early chapters of EYED / Dreamlike: This is a Moon-centric x reader fic I've been working on for several months now and I originally planned to start posting it when I finished it or got really close to doing so. I dropped a sneak peek of it here! I find myself currently on a standstill on it's later chapters, which is why it hasn't been finished yet, but otherwise I am reallllly happy with it's messaging and pacing. (Rn I have plotted out 15 chapters but it's looking like it could be longer with how I write oops-)
The first chapters have been pretty polished at this point, so if people are really curious about this one, I don't mind to start posting the chapters up to a certain point. If this wins, I'll post the first 3 chapters for 3 sequential days, then 4 and 5 will come out in the next week, and then the last week I'll post ch. 6 for no particular reason mhmm yup I am not planning anything nefarious-
Drawing requests: This would be my first time doing something like this, and while I know I can pop out some bangers for y'all I also don't want to dig myself into a hole and leave y'all waiting for a long time. 😅So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests and draw them out! If I feel capable of doing more I may open some more slots for y'all, but I need to test my speed and my capabilities here first. Expect some lovely rendering bc I love it so, but I won't be doing backgrounds (besides simple colors) for the sake of my sanity.
Drabble requests: Most of ya here probably see me as only an artist, but I do write and actually started out as a writer first for this fandom hehe. ✨ I've been doing well recently with short stories so as long as y'all want em, I can hopefully dish em out at a reasonable pace! I, again, haven't done something like this before. So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests, but I feel more confident that I can do this at a reasonable pace, so if things go well I'll open up 5-10 more slots for y'all!
Rendered drawing of a dca AU: Hehe, my forte /J. I've drawn some whacky crossovers, cute sillays, and horror stuff at times, but some of y'all also know I love soooo many AUs in this fandom, hehe! I definitely do not mind drawing AUs, there are MANY I haven't drawn for, but I will be avoiding drawing other's specific AUs. I love making fanart, but this is going to thank y'all for being here, so I would like to keep from using someone else's AU -- it would feel like I'm stealing them e3e.
Plus, this is from me to thank you! And so will the goobers! I'll try to be as detailed as possible with both the characters and location <3
If this wins, I'll set up another poll to last for 3 days. It'll have some general au options like Mer, then I'll list out some crossovers I have done like Submas! Sun/Moon, and I'll add my own AUs! There will also be an option to suggest an AU/crossover! (Please don't be afraid to do so, as long as enough people have an interest in the option, or even if it doesn't win I may still make it if I really like the suggestion! <333)
Rendered drawing of Biblical dca: This means the drawing will be as realistic to the original as I can get it! Gonna do my best to do material rendering and all mwehehe! Though, I may make him extra polished/shiny to not only play with reflections, but to also say how sparkly y'all make me feel hehe ✨✨✨
If this wins, I'll try to finish the drawing within a week or 2 after I make the announcement of the poll's winner! I'll also throw out a really quick poll for 1 day to let y'all pick who will be our biblical goober: Sun, Moon, or Ruin Eclipse!
Something else: This is pretty self explanatory, but if you have ideas, comment below! (You can even if you didn't pick this option!!!) And if you see an idea you like or that you wanted to comment already said below, please reply to that person's comment to keep things easy to track! You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, just drop something simple like ✨ in it and I'll know that means ya voted for it. :) (I'll be checking to make sure people didn't vote on the same comment more than once! But you can vote for multiple ideas <3)
If this wins/has enough interest, I'll choose the most popular suggestion! Depending on what suggestion wins, I may actually do BOTH that suggestion and the winning/2nd place option on the poll!!!! ( Woah 2 for one what :O )
My choice 💥💥💥: I typically don't like making choices actually, but in the case y'all are indecisive I will step up ✨✨✨ If this wins, I'll likely choose whatever sounds best to me in that moment hehehe, you'll never be 100% sure what I'll do >:)
Moon's bald and we love him for it: Oh yeah we do! <3 This is just a joke option to let people who don't want to vote to see the results. If this wins... Uh... We'll go for the 2nd place vote! And also I'll add a bald Moon doodle as a bonus goodie. (I'm so good at making incentives to get people to vote, I know I know ✨✨✨)
Thanks again for all the love guys!!! This fandom has been so good to me and I cannot thank y'all enough for making it as awesome and welcoming as it has been! <333
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endwersed · 1 day ago
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WIP Wednesday 🎇
Kicking off with my first WIP Wednesday of 2025 - how exciting 😄
As requested by @anon, here is a li'l 🤏 snippet of the fic I'm currently working on! It will be a high school AU with gay loser Stiles and closeted jock Derek. Derek also happens to be dating cheerleader Paige...
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“Whoa, whoa, just – calm down,” Stiles cuts in, because Derek is dialling himself all the way up here, ratcheting to tip over the deep end in a matter of seconds, and it is really starting to freak him out. “It’s literally just some unoriginally homophobic bullying, dude. I’m used to it by now. Why the hell are you getting so worked up about it?”
A harsh breath flares at Derek’s nostrils, his earlier tirade now bitten back behind the snap of his teeth. His jaw clenches as he looks away once again, the shadow of his pale eyes sliding into the empty darkness over Stiles’ shoulder.
“I’m not,” he says tightly.
Stiles scoffs another laugh. That’s a lie if Stiles has ever heard one.
“You totally are,” he argues, eyebrows knitting together as he searches an avoidant gaze and comes up completely empty. “Seriously. Why would you even, like… care?”
His heartbeat stutters against his ribcage when Derek’s eyes snap back to his. Sharp, and piercing, and almost glinting in the moonlight that streams down from the inky sky above.
It is quiet between them. A light breeze whistles through the green of the trees around them, and distant engines rumble from the highway out of sight to them, and the music of the party still beats steadily on behind them, far away to mean nothing, nothing at all, to either one of them right now.
“I don’t care,” Derek says. “I don’t know.”
Lie. Lies, lies, all goddamn lies. It is clear as day in the break of Derek’s voice, in the nervous flash of his eyes and the hard set of his jaw and the fists he has curling into the grass they sit on. There is no doubt in Stiles’ mind that Derek is lying to him, but he just does not understand… why.
The pieces begin to fall clearer into place when Derek jolts forwards to kiss him.
Stiles feels frozen. His hands hover just above his lap, his eyes open, big and wide and stunned as they stare across at Derek’s closed ones, the dark shadow of his eyelashes against the sharp height of his cheekbones. There is a blade of grass stuck to the heel of Derek’s palm, damp where it presses to Stiles’ cheek, cool against the flush of Stiles’ skin, that shaking, gentle touch holding Stiles carefully in place for the dry match of their unmoving mouths.
A second passes before Stiles can truly catch up to what is happening to him. He breathes through his recovery, closes his eyes, and kisses back.
Their heads tilt, the faint nudge of the tips of their noses as they angle for better, angle for more. The sound of their lips catching at one another is so loud to Stiles, a deafening, repetitive smacking to be heard even above the steady roar of blood inside of his ears. Derek keeps his hand on Stiles’ face. Stiles cannot move his hands from midair.
This is his first kiss. Ever, actually – literally his very first. He really was not kidding about feeling like the only queer kid around for about a hundred miles or more. Any kind of opportunity like this has never presented itself to him before. He barely knows what to do with it.
Derek’s mouth is warm, and his hand is kind of warm now, too, but his tongue – his tongue is hot, so fucking hot. It sweeps along the seam of Stiles’ bottom lip, wet and pressing and burning at the twisting pit of Stiles’ stomach. Derek takes the chance to lick instantly inside when Stiles’ lips part with a humiliating hitch of breath.
Time passes. It’s a cliché, but Stiles truly has no idea how much, loses track entirely of even the concept of its passage as he sinks into the feeling of Derek touching him, kissing him, holy shit, Derek Hale is kissing him. Stiles’ trembling fingers clutch into the fabric of his own jeans, too terrified to even consider reaching out for Derek, too aware of how easy it would be to break whatever fucking spell is happening between them right now.
In the end, his restraint is futile. The crash of a patio door swinging into the wall from the house behind them has Derek ripping away from him so quickly it could tear a hole in the very fabric of the universe.
They stare at each other with wild eyes. Derek is breathing just as heavily as Stiles is. Stiles’ mouth feels weird, puffy in a way he has no experience with, and there is nothing he can do to stop the hand that flies up to his face, fingerprints denting into the bow of his lip.
Derek’s eyes dip down to follow the movement. They are not allowed to linger there long.
“But,” Stiles says, little more than a whisper, raw and quiet, “you’re straight.”
A beat. Derek merely stares silently back. His mouth is red as it parts around a ragged breath, and no words follow after.
“You have a girlfriend,” Stiles presses on.
Derek leaps instantly to his feet.
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No pressure tags! 🩷 @crownofstardustandbone @dear-massacre @eevylynn @heavensenthale @like-lazarus
@lucky-bishop @nerdherderette @raisesomehale @renmackree @violetfairydust
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sanza-17 · 2 days ago
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New oc just dropped‼️🙏
I finally have a last Dragonborn oc and her name is Sereia and she is half-Breton and half-Altmer🥴 the drawing on the left is a recent piece and the one on the right is one from a year ago I think
The funny thing is that my vestige Irene actually used to me my ldb but then eso happened so ig not but anyways!! Sereia is the “adopted” daughter (bcs pregnancy is scary and nothing is coming out from between her legs lol) of Irene some time in the 4th era before the events of Skyrim, Irene found her abandoned outside of Daggerfall and has been raising her ever since despite the fact she would never see herself as a motherly figure. At some point when Sereia turns 18 she leaves Daggerfall/High rock to go journey down to cyrodill to go see her relative Yara (who is my forgotten hero/blades fugitive oc) but then the usual happens and now she’s stuck in Skyrim because she finds out she’s the Dragonborn😛 oh and she forms a group with taliesin, Lucien, Kaiden and inigo bcs she lacks male figures in her life😓 also odahviing is her best friend and her glorified Uber, she likes the dragon-slayer to dragon-rider transformation very much
You’re probably going to be wondering who the father is despite her being “adopted” ig we’ll never know🌚
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Lol. Are we surprised? :>
at first I was bored and wanted to create a character that was a mix of manni and Irene cuz why not but when I made Irene my vestige I needed a ldb oc so this new oc I made ages ago will fill in that missing spot. Ok so the thing is, is that Sereia wasn’t made through normal means and I had the idea that she was made by akatosh or something making her a sort of “divine creation” to be placed onto nirn at the right time so he could have someone fulfil the ldb prophecy and so he decided to make his champion both a mix of Irene and mannimarco (bcs why not, they’re two people who are connected in some form & Irene has a a good track record of being a hero as well as two of her descendants, yara and my HOK oc) which does make her biologically related to both of them but Irene and maybe manni who’s busy being a god/moon don’t know despite her looking a lot like Irene lol🤷🏽‍♀️
but ngl I like to think of her as a variant of Irene if that makes sense, like it’s Irene but in a different font
that’s about all that I can think of for now but I’ll explain more in future posts🫶 feel free to ask questions if u have any bcs I really wanna figure her lore out but so far, she is baby😩
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