#this is absolutely the dynamic in the early series which is the only time we see all 3 of them together

[markantonys]

people are always splitting the trakand family dynamic into elayne vs. her brothers, but if you ask me it's actually more like

[ateliersss]

Bandaids and Kisses

Pairing: Yautja x Fem!Reader Summary: One part of motherhood seemed to be patching up your reckless pup after another adventure in the wild against his parents’ wishes. Cross-posted on AO3: here Warnings: English isn't my first language Word Count: 2.885 Before the Blooming Family series

⇨ Hello, you Yautja lovers. With this, we are going back in time, before the happenings of the "Blooming Family" series. I hope you enjoy it! Comments are always appreciated!

⇨ You want to know something hilarious? A Yautja in their early twenties is the equivalent of a human in its 50's/60's, so Akail as a ten-year-old Yautja would be a minus something human baby.

“Oh my God, Akail! Again?”

You were taken to Yautja Prime about fifty years ago, Life-mated to Mi’ytiar for forty years, and an accepted and established member of his clan for ten years now. Ten years, the same amount of time your son had walked, talked, and breathed. Ruling alongside your mate and hunting for food weren’t enough to make your contribution. Giving Mi’ytiar a pup had apparently been the only thing that changed your role among them; from an outsider (and even a simple plaything for their leader to some) to what you were now — the female counterpart of a clan leader, the Matriarch.

You had heard of several Matriarchs on Yautja Prime. Like you, they were mated to the clan leader, but unlike you, they were the superior one in their dynamic, and even above an Elder or Ancient. You wouldn’t dare to assume the same form of authority for yourself and kept to the secondary leading role just as a queen consort on Earth would. You had much more freedom and control than you could ask for, completely content in the position you were holding right now, and you never felt the need to claim the power of a true Matriarch. The fact that the Females of the Yautja race were viewed much higher in leading roles than the Males was satisfying enough.

Nonetheless, you still had particular obligations and a certain appearance to maintain. You would take part in organizing the journey of the Un-Blooded to become Blooded, ensured the civilized coexistence within the clan by taking on the role of a judge in court on Earth, approved of every newborn pup that is presented to you and deem them worthy, listened to their requests and suggestions and tried to contribute as best as you could, and even had become a beacon of generosity and kindness to the clan for advice and consolation. The list went on and on, but instead of feeling crushed by the huge amount of responsibility, you relished in it. It was an honor, truly.

Another thing that was expected of you was joining the elder Females in their den and listening to their wisdom with other younger Females. Rather than a bothersome duty you had to force yourself to attend, you absolutely loved their company.

And the den was a beautiful place you loved to spend your time in, a flawless merge between ancient architecture and the futuristic Yautja influence, round in shape and with a high dome-ish roof that was held together by a construct of pillars and beams into which hieroglyphs were carved. Fire was burning in the hollow beams and illuminated the room above the heads of everyone present.

A week of adjusting to your new life had gone by without leaving Mi’ytiar’s home — your home the second you had crossed the threshold — before he decided it was time to introduce you to his people. And the place he had brought you to first was the den of the Elders. It had been a tough start, but they were surprisingly objective. Instead of seeing you for what you were, they saw you for who you were. Even if you were among giants, you had felt welcomed.

On this day and decades later, you had joined them as well, taking your place at the fire pit and opposite the entrance on the only chair in the round room. The Matriarch had her very own seat in the den, a throne-like construction made of something that felt like a mix of stone and metal. Meanwhile, the other Females sat on white stepstones on the mossy ground around the pit.

Matheih, the Female that held the unofficially highest rank among the Elders and had been the first you felt comfortable with, was just about to discuss the matter of a Bad Blood who had come too close to the clan's borders when you noticed movement from the corner of your eye. You snapped your head to the entrance and gasped.

Your shocked exclamation had cut Matheih off, causing her to startle. The rest of the Elders either looked at you, or your son who seemed to shrink under the intense eyes of the Females.

You immediately rose from your seat, the others following you swiftly, and you raced around them to Akail who anxiously fiddled with the charm attached to his loin cloth.

One day, you had noticed the longing gaze of your pup fixed to his father’s loin cloth and the trinkets and trophies swinging on his hips. Without further ado, you tailored him something new and decorated it with a thread on which various square stones and animal teeth were strung, the thread sewn into the front of the self-made cloth to the right hip. His eyes had been so bright when you presented it to him.

“Akail, my little warrior.” You sighed when you reached your son, kneeling in front of him to be on the same level as him.

You cupped his cheeks and examined his face. There were several cuts across his face — two on his forehead, one under his right eye, and one above his left eye — and fluorescent green blood was smeared around his wounds and coated his mandibles. When you checked his dreads, running your fingers through the short tendrils, he winced.

“My sweetling, what happened?” You asked when you grabbed his hands and scanned his arms up and down.

“I follow a tochi.” He mumbled and instantly avoided your stern glare.

A lie.

Placing your pointer and middle finger under his chin, you tilted his head up so he was looking into your eyes again.

“Were you near the borders again?” You pressed on and raised an eyebrow.

Akail pulled a grimace. “Yeah.”

Another lie.

“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s dangerous?”

Akail looked down like a kicked puppy. “Sorry, Mama.”

No. No, you were not allowed to melt right now. You needed to be strong and determined to be angry at him for disobeying one of your and his father’s rules. You needed him to understand that running after an animal for the nth time and moving too far away from the clan’s land was risky without someone by his side.

But those damn puppy eyes of his, the same look his father sometimes used on you, they made you weak and yielding.

“Come on.” You softly smiled at him and stretched out a hand to him.

When you stood upright again, Akail wasted no time to grab your hand while his other arm wrapped around your leg, clinging to you. You turned to the Females, excused yourself, and apologized to Matheih for interrupting her before you and Akail left the den.

Hand in hand, you walked the short route to your home.

“Does it hurt, my sweetling?” You asked him when you entered the grounds of your home.

You whistled at Be'jaa who had started barking at the intruders, as well as the two other Hell Hounds Mi’ytiar owned, Vohtu and Gihn’tha, and signaled them that it was just you and to stand down.

“Not anymore, Mama.” Akail vehemently shook his head, putting on a brave face.

You smiled down at him and led him inside, lifted him into your arms, and carried him to the long table that stood in the center of the main room of your home. Behind it and opposite the entrance door, three other doors lead deeper into your home to adjoining rooms like your bedroom. Just like the den of the elders, this room was round with a dome roof made out of orange and light grey glass, but there was at least a meter of additional ceiling going sideways from where the dome ended and from which a ring of rock was hanging down, like a huge ring-shaped lamp circling the whole room.

Just like a routine, you placed him down on the surface, kissed the little space between his nonexistent eyebrows, immediately eliciting a merry purr from him, and got the Medicomp that was stored in one of the box-drawers under the long shelves where your mate displayed his trophies.

You placed the Medicomp next to Akail on the table, sat down, and quickly got to work crushing the plaster and melting it with the burner, adding the blue solvent and mixing it until you got a gel.

“You know the drill, baby. It’s going to hurt.” You warned him, taking one of his hands into your free one before you started applying the gel to the thin cuts on his face.

Immediately, Akail let out a sharp hiss and squeezed your hand as hard as he could. But he remained still, not wanting to ruin your already careful treatment. His eyes danced across your face, admired the color of your eyes that was so different from his, studied your smooth skin that wasn’t as rough or beige and green as his, scanned your mouth that wasn’t hidden behind tusks.

He opened his mouth, but you cut him off before he could even utter the first syllable of his question.

“Be honest with me, Akail. What happened? You don’t just get wounds like that because you followed a tochi.” You questioned him and placed the spatula to the side before you grabbed the cloth that you had added to the Medicomp and dabbed the blood away from his already healing cuts and his mandibles.

“Stumbled over a stone.” He answered in a huff.

Another lie.

“I roll down a slope in a bush.”

Lie, lie, lie.

You hummed. “The bad ones near the stonehenge? I told you to stay away from there. Those statues are unstable and you aren’t yet strong enough to withstand their weight should one fall down on you.”

“Sorry, Mama.” Akail muttered and pulled his head in as if it would help him to escape the shame your words caused him.

You were melting once again at the sincerity in his words and reassurance washed over you. You may have had no idea how to raise a child as you never had the opportunity of doing it before, but you must be doing something right when he was capable of realizing his mistakes and showing remorse. But it wasn’t the kind of remorse you were thinking of.

“It’s alright, my sweetling. And you did so well in keeping still for me. You were very brave.” You cooed and kissed first the healing cuts on his forehead before you turned to the ones at his eyes.

But he wasn’t. If he was as brave as you claimed, he would tell you that it wasn’t the thorns of the bushes overgrowing the stonehenge but the still-developing claws of the older Younglings making fun of you that had caused the wounds. Akail had tried very, very hard to ignore their teasing and provoking snides, but when one of them — the tallest of all people — started talking about how glad he was that his mother was a respectable Female of the tribe and not some foreign, lowly pet that warmed the nest of the clan leader and probably pleased any other Male on the side, little Akail saw only red.

He had jumped the older Youngling and bit down on his neck while his claws inflicted as much damage as they were capable of. But due to his smaller size and frail strength, this advantage was turned against him in the next second when he felt his face being scratched open and his back colliding with the ground when he was pushed off by the older boy.

Luckily, before the situation could escalate even more, two Blooded Yautja neared the small group and Akail used the opportunity to quickly stand up and hurry to the den of the Elders where he knew his mother was.

It hadn’t been the first time and it will probably not be the last time, but he had promised himself to always protect you from anything that could crush your beautiful heart and kind soul that had showed him unconditional love from the moment he had opened his eyes to take his first ever look at his mother. It had been blurry and unfocused, but he remembered your smile. That smile.

“Mama?” Akail asked as he watched you packing up the Medicomp.

“Mhm?” You hummed and lowered yourself on one of the chairs around the table, right in front of him.

Instantly, Akail reached for your shiny hair and started fiddling with it, feeling how soft and silky it was. When he was a toddler, he would often play with it while purring, not being able to speak yet but his sweet chatter combined with his wide eyes was enough for you to be reminded how much he was his father’s son. Both were enamored, maybe even slightly obsessed with your human features.

Akail huffed. “Why you not look like me?”

“Hm?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise at the topic of his sudden question.

“Why you look like this? Why not like me or Papa?” He pushed further and curled a lock of your hair around his pointer finger.

“My sweetling.” You cooed, lifted him up by his waist, and settled him down on your lap, his legs dangling from each side of your thighs. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your chest close to your throat. “Do you remember the bedtime stories I sometimes tell you?”

You only felt vibrations against your skin and you took that as an answer, a cue to continue, “When I was little like you, your grandmama sat next to my bed and told me the same ones.”

Akail pulled his face from your chest and lifted his head to look up at you. “Grandmama?”

I nod. “Yeah. Mama’s mama.” You cupped his little face and peppered it with kisses. “Those stories are from the place I was born. Earth.”

“Are there more looking like you?”

“Yes. Many like me. Earth is similar to home. There are villages all over the planet and they speak different tongues, too. They have a clan leader called a major or a president and they have warriors, but also normal people who work jobs or go to school.”

“What is job?” Akail asked curiously and cocked his head to the side.

“A job is something oomans do to earn a living, to build a life. It is a little different here. For example, with a job you can earn money and buy food, but here, you just go into the forest and hunt. With a job, you can also build a house, but here, you just do it yourself with resources this planet has to offer.” You explained with a soft smile.

“What a ooman?”

“It’s what I am, my little warrior. Mama is ooman, a human. That’s why I look so different than you or your Papa.”

“But why I don’t look more like you?” Akail asked and his adorable face got even more precious when he pulled it into a frown.

You hummed as if you were in thought before you put on a bright grin and started to tickle his sides. “Because I wanted someone unique and extraordinary, and I hoped for someone who is as handsome and strong and chivalrous as your Papa. And speaking of your Papa, he was determined to have a pup like you, my sweetling.”

Mi’ytiar had been very determined indeed that his DNA took root inside you. It also hadn’t been the only thing that had completely dominated you.

“I know I’m not as big and strong and pretty as the other mothers-“

“You more pretty!”

“What?” You asked with raised eyebrows at his offended tone.

“You more pretty! More pretty than other mothers, more pretty than other Females! Say you more pretty!” Akail protested, immediately standing up for you even against your own words.

You had to swallow your emotions during his short rant. This boy had your heart, so precious and pure, and your emotional intelligence, already developed so far for his young age. You had no idea you were able to create something so beautiful and special.

“I’m more pretty.” You repeated his words with a smile, petting the top of his head, and kissed his forehead one, two, three times. “Why don’t you go and look for Papa, hm? I bet he loves to teach you a little something about leadership.”

Akail climbed down from your lap with a click of his mandibles and was already running out of your home. You had followed him, a little slower than the hazardous speed of his, and leaned with your shoulder against the entrance as you watched him in amusement.

You had hated the thought of becoming a mother. You had hated the thought of how children would affect your health and body. You had hated the thought of giving up your freedom for them. You had hated the thought of limiting your own life to adapt to theirs. You had hated the thought of abandoning every hope you had felt, every plan you had made, and every dream you had envisioned to tend to each of their needs.

God, never had you been happier to be wrong.

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[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[moonstruckme]

i want this to be a series even if i'm the only one who will read it

would you do more royal!au sirius x reader??? please??? i mean the fluff and the banter alone are ripe for more situations but the smut of banging in a castle in formal wear or the angst of some great big political problem??? i'm here for it allllllll

only if you're interested in it

Absolutely I would! Thanks for requesting lovely ;)

cw: nausea, controlling family dynamics

prince!Sirius x princess!reader ♡ 2.1k words

You lie atop your bed, rubbing the sheets between your thumb and pointer finger. You estimate their thread count is about ten gazillion. The duvet piled by your feet is probably stuffed with feathers of a goose hatched from a golden egg and raised with a silver spoon right here in the palace. It all makes you feel slightly nauseous to think about. 

Though in fairness, the nausea could be from any number of things. The several courses of rich foods you had to force down over dinner with the Black family, the way Sirius’ eyes seemed to flicker every time they passed over you, the many, many hours of memorization you’d put in only to set your fork on the wrong edge of the plate when you wanted to signal you were finished eating, or perhaps the conversation you had with your grandmother and her council of advisors in her office afterwards. 

All in all, you’re really only waiting to either be violently sick or fall asleep. Whichever comes first. 

A knock on the door makes you sit up slowly. No one usually cares to see you past dinnertime. You wonder for a moment if you’ve misheard, if someone knocked further down the hall and the sound carried. 

Then it comes again. You get up. 

Sirius’ mouth is already half curved when you open the door, but his smile blooms as he takes you in from head to toe. 

“My,” he leans against your doorframe, looking positively delighted, “don’t you look cozy.” 

Your cheeks flame. You hadn’t been expecting any visitors when you’d put on your pajama bottoms and giant, graphic nightshirt. Sirius is also the most casual you’ve seen him in a gray sweatshirt and dark jeans, but he’s still wearing clothes, which means he’s still dressed better than you. You fear this is an inevitability you may never escape with him. 

“I’m having an early night,” you say.  

He frowns. “Oh. Really? What could I do to persuade you not to?” 

You feel your eyebrows rise. “What would you be persuading me to do instead?” 

“I’ve been thinking,” Sirius says, looking you in the eyes, “we should go out.” 

You feel acid in the back of your throat. You nearly choke on it. “We—you and me?” 

“I see how that wording could be confusing. I don’t mean like a date,” he clarifies. You let out a breath, and his grin renews. “Not that I would ever deny you one, gorgeous, if that’s what you wanted. But what I had in mind was more of an introduction to the kingdom.” 

Your stomach settles a bit. The inside of your lip finds its way between your teeth. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you’ve gotten out much since you’ve been here. Am I wrong?” 

You shake your head. 

Sirius’ smile is almost gentle. “I know it’s a bit unorthodox, because I’m not from here and your family rules this place, but I’ve actually been here quite a lot. I could show you around the town, get you acquainted with some worthwhile haunts.” He pauses, analyzing your reaction. “There’s a bakery not far from here that has the most incredible apple pastries this time of year, best I’ve had. They only use seasonal ingredients.” 

There’s an uneasy feeling about this, about him, an allure and a simultaneous urge to run. But you’re intrigued. “The best you’ve had?” 

His eyes flash with satisfaction. “Change quickly. They close at ten.” 

Sirius proves his prowess quickly. He brings you into town off the main road and says a few words to your guards that have them keeping a furtive distance from the both of you. To any passerby along the lamplit streets, you look like a regular couple. Intentionally or not, Sirius’ hand in yours completes the image. 

He pulls you into a coffee shop first, coerces you into trying a specialty latte and promises it won’t matter when you order it decaf. You make it to the bakery just before close, and Sirius orders not only the apple pastries but some with pear and a few with blackberry and one muffin for each of you to have tomorrow morning. He charms everyone behind the counter so effortlessly the owner gives you the muffins for free. 

You end up sitting on the grass at the edge of a park, on a hill sloping downward towards the street. Admittedly, you’ve not put much thought into the kingdom you’re allegedly supposed to run someday. It still feels like some kind of fraudulence to sleep in your bedroom in the palace, and the idea of being a princess to this place doesn’t feel any more real now that you’re seeing it up close. 

But this is a town you could love, you think. It’s the sort of place you might have traveled, before, and imagined your life in. Maybe a job at the bakery, grabbing coffee before your early mornings, indistinguishable from any of the other locals strolling around and chatting with shopkeepers and wearing their footprints into the ground. It’s hard not to imagine it even now, though you know your role in this place is far less quaint.

“Mmmmygod,” Sirius moans, licking sugary apple glaze from the corner of his mouth. “Your palate is not prepared for this. Don’t let it get cold.” 

You fish your apple pastry out of the bag obediently, taking a bite. It’s warm and soft, the dough flattening over your tongue. You close your eyes, and the flavor blooms. 

“Wow.” 

“Right?” He sounds downright gleeful, excited for you in a way that’s out of keeping with the refined, stately way you’re both usually expected to behave. 

“You were right. It’s really good.” You give him a smile and take another bite before putting the pastry away. 

Sirius cocks an eyebrow at you, his expression unabashedly judgemental. “You’re not going to finish it?” 

“Dinner didn’t sit very well with me,” you say apologetically. “You can have the rest, if you want.” 

“Oh.” His countenance melds into something like sympathy. “That’s alright, you can reheat it tomorrow if you like. Are you not feeling well?” 

You press your lips into a smile. “I’m okay.” 

“They’ve been running you pretty ragged, yeah? It must be a lot.” 

“I’m okay,” you say again, softer. 

You think the polite thing would be to at least act like he believes you, but Sirius doesn’t. You can feel his gaze on your face as you look out over the town. He’s been a bit different tonight, you think. Still ridiculous and jovial and loud, but gentler at times. Friendly in a more sincere way. Kind. 

You take a breath. “Can I ask you something?” 

You can practically feel the lift of his eyebrows. “Maybe,” he answers, half humorous. 

“Did you know our families have been trying to arrange our marriage?” 

There’s a thick pause. You watch a couple of the lights in windows go out. 

Sirius’ sigh is heavy. “Honestly? I suspected.”

You turn towards him, your throat tightening with nausea and fright and half a dozen other emotions you haven’t identified yet. Sirius is still looking at you, his mouth twisted in a grimace. 

“My family doesn’t tend to see fit to involve me in these things, even when they pertain to me,” he says somewhat bitterly, “but I know how my parents operate. It’s not rare for us to have visits here, but these last couple since you arrived have involved much more nice-making than usual.” He leans back on his forearms, tilting his face to the sky. For the first time since you’ve met him you think that he looks almost tired. “I suppose us appearing to get along at the ball probably didn’t help matters. They’re always looking for someone who can ‘tame’ me. Now they likely think you’re it.” 

You fight to keep your tone even. “Can they just do that? Make us get married?” 

“Well, clearly it’s not that easy, or we would be.” Sirius seems to be musing aloud. His eyes trace the stars, voice low and thoughtful. “I imagine the holdup is on your side of things. My family would love to be rid of me, but your lot may not want to take me on.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” you say, but your voice is growing wispy, your vision blurring. 

Sirius sits up. “Hey.” He sounds upset, but his hand on your shoulder is gentle. “Don’t do that. It’s not as bad as it seems, it’ll be okay.” 

“Sorry.” You jam your fingertips into your eyes, trying to keep tears from leaking out. “I’m sorry, I’ve just never felt so…out of control before.” 

Lately, that’s all you’ve felt. Helpless, robbed of your autonomy. You eat and wear and say what you’re told to, you need guards to go out and get pastries, and now the rest of your life is being practically given away to some other kingdom so that your family can rest easy knowing trade agreements are well solidified. 

“I know,” Sirius murmurs. His palm runs a couple inches down your arm, then back up again. It’s the most tentative you’ve seen him. “You’re not, though, really. They can scheme all they want, but nothing has to happen unless both of us get in front of an altar and say ‘I do.’ No one can actually make us go through with it.” 

You lower your hands enough to look at him, and he gives you a sideways smile. 

“I’d be more than happy to be the one to ruin us, if you like. I have a reputation for foiling my parents’ plans anyway. You can even act betrayed. The gracious new princess, and the wayward prince who wouldn’t be bound to her.” 

You worry the inside of your lip. “I wouldn’t want to throw you under the bus.” 

“Sweet of you, doll, but I’m already under there. No sense in taking you with me.” 

He takes another pastry out of the bag, resolved and resigned. You study him. Your life has been nothing but change lately. One terrifying revelation leading to the next, seemingly following a structure you’re not privy to. You haven’t had time to get your feet under you in your new life, constantly being told you’re doing things wrong or getting introduced to new important people or having your manners corrected. This is only your first time getting out into the town where you live! You don’t feel ready to be married. 

But through all the madness of your new life, Sirius has been an odd sort of constant. Kind, and grounding, and casual even when it’s improper. He’s been a real friend to you, the only person who stops to ask how you’re doing and seemingly wants an honest answer. You’ve come to take comfort in him. 

“Do you really think my family is keeping us from…” You find you can’t say it, but Sirius catches your drift anyway. 

“It’s the only explanation I can come up with,” he replies. “Or, not keeping us from it, necessarily, but slowing the process. They’re likely negotiating something to do with the trade agreement, making sure I’m a worthwhile deal for them to take on.” 

“How long does negotiating that stuff take?” 

“I don’t know. Believe it or not, this is actually my first time as well. At least a couple weeks, I’d guess. Your family may want to see how you’re settling in first.” 

You gnaw on your lip, pensive. When you look at Sirius, he’s looking back at you, gray eyes discerning. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks you. 

“What if we didn’t stop it yet?” 

Surprise flickers over his expression, gone as quickly as it came. “I assumed you’d want to be done with this as soon as possible. Why are you asking?” 

You shrug, feeling your cheeks heat. “You’d probably have to be here pretty often while they’re still talking things out, right?” 

“Yeah…” 

“And we’re sort of friends now, aren’t we?” 

Sirius’ mouth pulls up on one side. “I’d love to be your friend, gorgeous.” 

“So…” You pull up a blade of grass, carving it in half with your fingernail. “As long as we don’t say ‘I do,’ we don’t have to be married, but we don’t necessarily have to send you home before they’ve even decided anything, right?”

He leans forward interestedly. “Are you suggesting we let our families go through weeks of pointless negotiations, maybe even humor their beliefs that we like each other, just to break things off when it all comes to a head?”

“Well, we do like each other, don’t we?” You smile, and he beams back. “I don’t know, would that be okay with you?”

“Oh.” Sirius shakes his head at you, still grinning. “Sweetheart, you are even more fun than I imagined you’d be.”

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Guilty as Sin? — Chapter Seven

pairing: professor!javier peña x f!reader

rating: series is 18+ only, minors DNI, professor/student dynamic, oral (m!rec}, alcohol consumption, essentially just porn with plot, these two are in LOVE babes

word count: 3.8k

series masterlist

The restaurant Javi had picked out was attached to the lake resort, a casual steakhouse with balcony seating that overlooked the water. You watched the yellow lights from the resort dance across the soft ripples on the lake a story below in between glances at Javier. He’d chosen a simple navy blue sweater and dark jeans for tonight, a casual and absolutely fucking delicious sight that had you reaching for your wine to quell your thirst. Javier scanned the menu that he held in one hand while intertwining his fingers with yours across the table, the gesture doing little to settle the rapid beat of your heart. 

Beyond the sex—which was certainly the best you’d ever had in your life—there was so much to love about him. He was kind, generous, an active listener, intelligent, and funny when he wanted to be, all put together in a stunningly masculine package that had your thighs squeezing together every time his dark eyes found you staring. 

“What?” he asked, one corner of his mouth tilting up slightly. He brought your joined hands over to his lips, placing a gentle kiss over your knuckles before bringing it back to the table. 

“You’re just very nice to look at,” you said, biting your lip to try and contain your smile. Javier laid his menu down before moving chairs to come sit directly beside you. You leaned into him, resting your chin on his shoulder as you shared your menu with him. “What looks good?”

“You,” he murmured into your ear before giving your temple a sweet kiss. “I’ve been trying to read this damn menu for ten minutes now, but I keep getting distracted.”

“Wonder why.” You shrugged, lowering your hand to his thigh just to feel him tense. 

Javier leaned into your ear again, whispering, “Are you trying to make me lose my mind? Because it’s working.”

You grinned, completely lost in this blissful bubble the two of you had managed to create against all odds. “You know, I’m fine with ordering room service instead.”

Javier leaned back, raising his brow at you. “I was supposed to be giving you your first good date. What happened to that, you seductress?”

“Guess you have a point,” you said, giving him a soft smile as you carded your fingers through his hair.

“I usually do,” he quipped.

“On the other hand…” You smirked, reaching for his hand as it rested on his knee. Sliding his warm palm up your jean clad thigh—you were forced to change after Javi destroyed your tights—you locked eyes with him as you guided his hand between your thighs. “You should know I’m not wearing any underwear.”

Javi let out a soft, lustful sigh at your warmth. He cursed as he leaned in, holding your face in his free hand. You hummed into the kiss, feeling grateful that no one else had chosen to sit out in the brisk early fall air tonight. No, it was just you and him, the stars on the water, and a whole mess of feelings. 

“Fuck, as much as I want to bend you over this table right now, we should probably stop before the waiter catches us,” he mumbled against your lips, sliding his hand away from your center and letting it rest above your knee with a gentle squeeze. He sat back in his chair, lifting the menu back into view while you eyed him with lust drunk eyes. “I can feel you undressing me with your eyes, cariño.”

“I could be undressing you with my hands,” you replied, turning away from him with a smitten grin. “But fine. I guess I’ll just have to pester you with more questions to distract myself.”

“I guess you will,” he said, fighting back a smile. 

“Alright,” you laughed, biting your lip as you watched him study the menu. “How many girlfriends have you had?”

Javier raised a brow at you. “Serious ones?”

“Sure,” you shrugged. 

“One,” he replied. “Through high school until the end of my undergrad degree.” 

“So you’ve been single all this time?” You eyed him suspiciously, giving him a playful side eye. 

“There something wrong with that?” he asked, leaning forward into your space, his gaze locked on your lips. “If I wasn’t single all this time then I never would’ve gotten to meet you.”

“What a line,” you laughed, earning a dimpled smile from Javi. “What happened between you and your ex?”

“She wanted more than what I could give at the time,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “I was young and just getting started in the world. She wanted marriage and a family, which I did too, just…not at twenty-three. I tried to do it, though. Proposed and everything, but as the months ticked by, I just…couldn’t. So I called it off, left town, and started my career.”

“Do you ever regret it?” you asked, no judgment to be found in your tone, just genuine curiosity. Javier shook his head, giving your knee a squeeze. 

“No,” he said. “I meant it when I said if my life hadn’t played out this way, I wouldn’t be here. And here is somewhere I really fucking love being.”

You lifted your hand to his chin, pulling him in for another kiss. It seemed like you’d never get tired of this wanting you felt every time you so much as looked at him, let alone when he goes and says shit like that. 

“Alright, are we ready to order?” The waiter appeared out of nowhere, catching the two of you mid-makeout. You pulled away from Javi with a bashful smile, reaching for the menu and choosing the first entree that sounded good. Javier opted to have the same, only switching out your choice of mashed potatoes for a baked potato. 

The waiter left, taking the useless menus with him. “Interesting choice with the baked potato.”

“What?” he chuckled. “They’re the best way to have a potato.”

“Strongly disagree,” you gasped, clutching your non-existent pearls. “Fries are the best, mashed potatoes are second, and a baked potato might come in at like number five.” 

“So this is our first argument,” he laughed. “I’ll let you have this one.”

“And the next, and the one after that,” you added, leaning back into him like a moth drawn to a flame. 

“You can have them all as long as you keep looking at me like that,” he murmured, ghosting his lips over yours. You laughed, pecking his lips while wearing a lovesick smile. “So now that you got to ask—“

“Oh no,” you chuckled, settling back into your seat and bringing your drink up for a sip. 

“How many serious relationships have you had?” 

“One, really,” you said, scrunching your nose at the thought of Micah. “Serial cheater, sometimes called me mommy in bed, all around horrible.”

“Mommy?” Javier snorted as he took a sip of his beer. “Jesus. I’m starting to wonder whether it’s just your generation of men that suck this bad or if you just have really shitty luck.”

“You’re one of one, Javier Peña,” you said. “That’s why I’m hoping to keep you around.”

Javier smiled, taking a long sip from his beer. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.” 

“No?” you asked, grinning against the rim of your wine glass. “Not even if I told you I’ve been known to snore every now and again?”

“Now that changes things,” he said, eyeing you in mock consideration. “I think I’ll learn to live with it. Or I’ll just get some earplugs.”

“Anything I need to be warned about?”

“I smoke and I’m a terrible cook,” he replied. “Also a bit of an insomniac, but it’s not like I’ll be getting any sleep anyways with all your snoring.”

“A match made in heaven,” you mused. “Aside from the forced-to-keep-it-a-secret part.”

“Maybe not for much longer,” he said, nervously glancing at his lap. 

“What do you mean?” you chuckled. 

“I mean…I got a job offer from the DA’s office,” he replied, his eyes bouncing back and forth between yours as he watched you take in this incredibly exciting news. “And I know it’s early, and things aren’t, you know, official with us, but I was already considering quitting teaching before meeting you, and now…”

“And now?” you asked, your voice hardly louder than a whisper. Javier took in a deep, steadying breath and gave you a boyish smile that brought out a dimple. 

“And now all I want to do is find a way for us to be together without all this sneaking around and shit,” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell you to put any pressure on you or anything, but regardless of where you and I stand, I think I’m gonna take the offer.”

“When would you start?” you asked, tracing your fingertip along the rim of the glass as you tried to comprehend the fact that this man was willing to switch careers in order to be with you.

It had only taken him two months of knowing you to decide that you were worth that much, even if he didn’t know where the two of you stood. The thought alone was enough to have you ready to hand your heart over.

“After the semester ends,” he replied, his knee bouncing under the table as he continued to study your reaction. “I can’t tell what you’re thinking, so could you put me out of my misery and—“

“Javi, I…” You laughed, shaking your head at the miracle that was Javier Peña. “I’d do this thing in secret for a lifetime as long as it meant I got to do it with you, but the idea of getting to kiss you in public or even just hold your hand…it feels like a dream. So that’s what I’m thinking, that you are a really fucking good dream I don’t want to wake up from.”

Javier leaned in, giving you a kiss. “So I’ll take that to mean you want to do this thing for real?”

You laughed, nodding as you gave his lips another soft peck.

“All of it. Snoring and burnt dinners, included.”

You clung to Javi’s arm as you made your way out of the restaurant after dinner, tipsy on wine and Javier’s smile. He’d been whispering nothing but filth into your ear since he asked for the check, his lips grazing against the shell of your ear as you walked down the hall to your suite. 

“You’re talking a big game,” you teased, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Maybe I have some plans of my own.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow as he slid the key card out of his pocket. “And what are these plans of yours?”

“Well, to start…I’d like to get you out of these clothes,” you said, biting your lip. 

“That’s doable,” he smirked, turning the handle of the door and swinging it open while keeping his eyes on yours. “Then what, hermosa?”

“Well,” you started, leading him into the room just to turn around and back him against the door as he let it click shut behind him. You slid your hands down his stomach to palm him through his jeans. “You’ve gotten to taste me a few times now, but I still haven’t gotten to taste you.”

Javier groaned, settling his hands on either side of your face as he kissed you. You moaned into it, your hands steady as they undid his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Javier hissed, breaking the kiss to look down as you took him in your hand and gave him a teasing stroke. 

“Is that what you want, Javi?” you purred, using your free hand to guide his eyes back to yours. Javi looked at you like you held the world in your hands, his brows laced together and lips parted in reverence as you gave him another teasingly slow pump. “You want my lips around—“

Javier cut you off with a groan, settling his hands on your hips as he walked you backwards into the room with his lips devouring your own. You smiled into the kiss, fighting back a laugh as he tripped over your feet, almost sending the two of you onto the carpeted floor. 

“You’re so fucking…” His words trailed off as he let his hands travel up your curves before cupping the weight of your breasts in each. Your laughter faded into a soft gasp as he slid his hands back town to give your ass a squeeze, seemingly unable to decide on what he wanted to worship more. “You’re going to ruin me for all women.”

“Only fair seeing as you’ve ruined me for all men and myself, remember?” Javier laughed, kissing you once before stepping back to shed his clothes. You sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on your elbows as you watched him undress. “You’re so nice to look at, Javi.”

He laughed, taking his length in hand and stroking it while you devoured the sight with lust-blown pupils. “You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Looks like you’re already blushing,” you quipped, leaning forward to take over for him, stroking your hand up and down his angry arousal. “Is this all for me, Javi?”

He nodded, licking his lips as he watched you lower yourself to your knees in front of him. He stroked his thumb over your cheek as you stared up at him with an innocent look in your eyes—or, as innocent as you could look while stroking his dick.  “Fuck. You’re so beautiful, baby.”

“Yeah?” You keened at the compliment, a love-starved woman being fed for the first time in years. “Do you think I’ll look as beautiful with my lips wrapped around your cock?”

Javier groaned, his cock twitching at the question. “How about you show me?”

You smiled, pressing a kiss to his reddened tip, the barely there touch causing his stomach to clench. Dragging the tip of your flattened tongue from base to tip, you wrapped your lips around him just far enough to tease before releasing him with a pop. “On the bed.”

Javier raised an eyebrow at you but obeyed, positioning himself on his back in the middle of the giant mattress. “You like being the one in control, hermosa?”

You climbed onto the bed, sitting between his thighs and wrapping your fist around his base. “Sometimes.”

“Then go ahead,” he urged with a smile. “Take control, baby. It’s all yours.”

You smirked, shuffling down to lay on your stomach as you twisted your hand up and down his throbbing cock just to hear him let out a soft hiss. Bringing your lips to his balls, you gave them a suck, your thumb swiping over the precum that leaked from his tip. 

“Fuck,” he moaned, letting his head fall back against the pillow. 

You released his balls with a pop, dragging your tongue up his shaft before taking him in deep until you were kissing your closed fist. You worked in tandem with your strokes, flattening your tongue along the underside of his cock as you bobbed up your head and down. Your spit-slick hand followed your lips with a firm squeeze that had his thighs twitching every time you reached his sensitive head. 

“Shit, cariño,” he hissed, one hand cupping your jaw as he sat up on one elbow to watch you. You stared into those brown eyes that reminded you of warm molasses, relishing in every grunt and groan you pulled from his perfectly bowed lips. 

You could’ve been there for a minute or an hour, a moment or a lifetime, but this thing between the two of you seemed to defy the laws of space and time. You weren’t hiding out in a hotel room counting the minutes until you’d have to return to secrecy. No, you were simply a woman worshiping the man who’d revived your faith in goodness, in love. 

“Baby,” he moaned, brows furrowed and eyes fluttering with every sinful gluck as you swallowed him down your throat. “Baby, shit. H-hold on. I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.“

“I want you to,” you said, your voice hoarse and desperate.

Javier shuddered, nodding his head as he watched you take him back into your mouth, his hands now gripping the sheets as you increased your efforts. “Fuck. Fuck, I’m…fuck.”

You hummed, running your free hand over the expanse of his stomach as you held him in deep, letting him come down your throat. He tasted slightly salty, slightly sweet, and surprisingly addictive. You’d never particularly enjoyed the taste of someone else, but be it love or lust or sheer infatuation, you really fucking enjoyed Javi’s. 

“Baby, fuck,” he rasped, running his hand over your hair as you cleaned his sensitive cock with your tongue, making a show of it. “Come up here so I can kiss those fucking lips.”

“But…I just—“

“Do I look like I give a fuck about that?” he asked, a rhetorical question given the raise of his eyebrow as he stared you down. “Come here, hermosa.”

You crawled up his body, leaving kisses up his stomach, chest, and neck before hesitantly ghosting your lips over his. “You’re sure it’s not gross?”

“Do you think it’s gross to kiss me after I eat your pussy?” he asked, placing a feather light kiss against your lips. 

“No, I think it’s hot,” you replied, your voice a husky whisper. 

“Mmhm,” he hummed, lifting his hand to rest on the curve of your jaw. “Dame un beso.” 

You smiled, letting out a soft laugh as you leaned in to kiss him exactly how he wanted it. Deep, slow, and so fucking sexy you couldn’t help but grind your panty-covered core against his softened length. 

“You’re too clothed,” he murmured against your lips, his hands sliding down to your ass to palm you through your jeans. 

“Mm,” you hummed, kissing your way down his neck. “I’m busy.”

“Doing what?” he asked, reaching between your thighs to put some pressure on your clit as you rocked against his hand. 

“Leaving my mark,” you moaned, sucking on the soft skin where his shoulder met his neck. Low enough to hide beneath a collar during class, but high enough to give you glimpses of it when you got him alone. 

Javier hissed, rolling you onto your back. You laughed, combing your fingers through his hair as he unbuttoned your jeans and peeled them off your legs. He stared at the wet spot on your panties, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. “Now I get to leave a few marks.”

“But I need to shower,” you said, coaxing his eyes back to yours. 

“Am I invited?” he asked, hiking up the hem of your sweater to place soft kisses across your stomach. Something about him worshiping the part that brought you the most insecurity was so healing, especially after a relationship full of cruel criticism of your body. 

“You’re always invited,” you replied, trying to calm the pounding in your chest. 

“Alright,” he said, sitting back onto his knees. “I can leave my mark in the shower and then come back and do it again in this bed. And then in my bed, in your bed, in any fucking room I can get you alone in.”

“I’ll be covered in hickeys, then,” you laughed. 

“I’ll only leave them where you and I can see,” he promised. “And only when you want me to.”

“You’re a dream,” you mused, pulling him back down for another kiss that would haunt your memories long after you died. 

“How are we gonna do this once we go back tomorrow?” you asked, tracing your initials across his bare chest as you laid in the darkness with him. He’s just devoted an hour to getting you to climax after climax, the shower you took earlier only acting as a prelude to what he had planned for the bed. “Once I’m back to being your student, I mean.”

“We’ll have to be discreet,” he said, shifting to lay on his side, his elbow propping up his head. “But besides that…it’s just a normal relationship.”

“Except people in normal relationships can go out and not worry about being seen together,” you countered with a half-smile. 

It wasn’t that you cared about going out or anything like that, but there was a gnawing insecurity that perhaps over time Javi would grow tired of the sneaking around and look for someone who he could have a normal life with, one that didn’t involve this much careful planning. 

“It’s only for a few more months,” he assured, stroking his hand up and down your side. “Until then, we’ll just have to find ways to entertain ourselves while we hole up together. I already have a few ideas.”

“I bet I can guess exactly what kind of ideas are floating around up there,” you said, lightly tapping your finger against his temple. Javier moved to nip at your finger, earning a laugh. 

“I was actually talking about showing you my Lego collection,” he returned with a smirk. “I just got the Death Star. Kind of a big deal.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” You giggled as he nodded. 

“Dead serious,” he replied with a laugh. “It’s a good way to busy the mind, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.”

“Does your mind need busying?” His smile faded into something more somber. 

“Sometimes,” he confessed. “I saw a lot of stuff with the DEA, and sometimes the memories come back with a vengeance. Instead of chainsmoking and whoring around like I used to do, I choose to block out those memories with building the fucking Death Star. Healthy, right?

You gave him an empathetic smile, relating to the sadness in his eyes that he tried to cover up with humor. You, too, had a lot of memories to avoid touching, although they likely didn’t hold a candle to the shit he must’ve dealt with. Nevertheless, like calls to like. “I think it’s very healthy, actually. So healthy, in fact, that you’ve convinced me to join you. So it’s too late to take back your invitation, basically.”

Javier laughed, a bit of light fighting back against the darkness in his eyes as he leaned in to give you a chaste kiss. 

“I…” He stopped himself, shaking his head as he stared into your eyes. “Nevermind.”

“What?” you laughed. 

“I just…I almost said something I have no business saying,” he shrugged. “The kind of thing that’s supposed to take longer than this to feel, so I’ll wait, but…I feel it.” 

You knew the feeling well, the four letter word dancing on the tip of your tongue all night. But it was too soon for that, too soon for confessions as heavy as the one that weighed on your heart. You were falling in love with him, quickly and helplessly and without thinking of what it would feel like when you finally hit the ground. 

“Me too,” you said instead.

For now, it would have to be enough.

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[romanarose]

If You Wanna be Wild: Chapter 7

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Everything falls apart and evryone is alone.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!:mentions of rape an violence, what happened to Helena, smut, repressed feelings, angst.

Almost everything was written by Fen <3

2.7k words

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

**************

There was no making up. There was no Javi bringing Santi food as an apology, there was no talking. 

When Santi walked into the office on Monday, he saw the fucking desks rearranged, Javier’s and Santi’s on other sides of the room instead of pushed face to face. Santi quickly rushed to the bathroom where he panic vomited and had an anxiety attack, resulting in him being 45 minutes late. Javi didn’t say anything about it.

Where Santi couldn’t eat, Javi couldn’t stop eating, munching down food and taking frequent trips to the vending machine. His doctor was going to kill him. Santi could barely function, even coming in late or leaving early which was a cardinal sin in his book. Still, none of it stopped him from seeing Candy. Occasionally Candy asked about him because all month Javi hadn’t been to see her either. Santi couldn’t get much answer either.

They worked, but mostly separately. Javi had even been trying to find somewhere else to work, but there weren’t exactly free rooms in the precinct. They talked occasionally but only about Lorea… making Santi desperately lonely. He had his family and he loved his tias, but they weren’t Javi. It was the day of the rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya, which forced them to be in close proximity as they dressed in plain clothes and scouted the area for any sign of the Lorea family. Not wanting to look too much like officers on alert, Santi tried making conversation, none of which was working with Javi, only getting few word answers. 

The boy was going to drive him absolutely batshit insane if he didn’t stop talking. It was bad enough he kept asking. ‘Should we get food’ or ‘it’s nice out today’, but his voice mixed with the crowds and noise and music and chatter or the rally, people shouting about whoever it was they were here for, politicians trying to stop them and constantly flashbacks of that night of the ball… Then Santi had to go and say 

“She misses you.”

“You mentioned her name one more fucking time and I’ll-”

“You’ll fucking what?” Santi snapped, his nerves had twisted, hardened suddenly by rage. 

His anger took Javi by surprise, he’d never heard him speak like that to anyone let alone him. 

Santi took his pause as indignation. “I mentioned Candy once. Once. And that’s only because you haven’t seen her, or called her or anything!” He hissed. “She’s worried about you actually, she-”

It was Javi’s turn to snap. 

He grabbed the younger man by the back of his collar and pulled him into a side alley, using his own momentum against him and slamming him up against the brick wall. 

Sant let out a little huff of air as his back collided, gritting his jaw as pain raced along his back. 

The action had been forceful, but not enough to cause discomfort for most people. However, a rough, uneven lump of mortar had poked oddly against the scar at the nape of his neck, sending a tingle down his back.

Javi rammed the heel of his hand into the wall next to Santi’s head, using his height to his full advantage as he leaned over him like he was interrogating a suspect instead of a colleague. A friend. 

Santi breathed hard, his frown pinching his eyebrows together, and Javi would say he even looked cute if he wasn’t so bloody annoying, so obsessed with getting under his skin. Unable to let anything go, constantly digging at him in his self-righteous attitude, just needing to push, and push, and push, and…

Cute. The thought caught him off guard. When had he started to think of Santiago as cute?

“What the fuck are you doing Peña?” He growled, puffing his chest out, but not pushing back. 

Javi shook his head slightly, trying to break his racing mind, trying to get back to reality. “Candy, look, you can’t just-”

“She’s an adult Javi, I can-”

“You’re going to get her killed!” His voice raised at the end, louder and more desperate than he had intended, with just the slightest waver. He hoped Santi didn’t hear it, but he probably did. Nothing got past him. “Do you understand?” Santi glared at him, the muscles in his jaw flexing. Those stupid large doe eyes looking painfully dark and enticing. “You’re flaunting her. Taking her to the ball and, and-”

Santi scoffed. “That’s none of your business, I asked her, I-”

“You’re gonna get her gutted and dumped on the side of the road!” Javier screamed, haunting flashbacks to Helena’s beaten and raped body, wrapping his coat around her and having to carry her out, not sure if she was dying or not. “You know how easy it would be for Lorea to do something? This isn’t even a put two and two together situation, Pope, it’s you waving a four right in his fucking face! And what do you think is gonna happen when he takes her, huh? When he beats her and rapes her an tortures her to get information on YOU!” 

Santi swallows, his face still hard, but that little bob of his Adam’s apple draws Javier’s eye, but he doesn't respond. Javier lowers his voice, fist still gripping Santi’s jacket.

“She’s not gonna give you up, she’s not gonna help them hurt you. She’s gonna end up dead. You’re gonna…” He closed his eyes for a moment, took a small breath. It was easier not to look at him, not to have to stare at his soft eyes and plump lips. “You’re gonna end up dead too, Pope. I can’t… I’ve seen it, okay?”  

Javier screwed up his face, opening his eyes so that he could look at Santi man to man. Implore him to see reason. 

“I’m not telling you to stop seeing her, I’m just saying.... I’ve seen shit happen to girls in her line of work. To officers like you that are still wet behind the ears to this kind of thing-” The second it was out of his mouth, he knew he’d made a mistake. 

“I’m not a fucking child, Peña.” Santi hissed, pressing forward and getting up in Javier’s face. “I know that’s what everyone at the station seems to think and all their little Virgin Maria mierda. I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck if all they see is that.” He pushes firmly on Javier’s chest, almost smacking as he punctuates his sentence. “But I thought you’d know better! I was black ops special agent, I spend years of my life in almost every goddamn continent doing retcon, assassinations, covert operations and rescuing women and children and getting SHOT! I’m not-”

“I’m not saying you’re a child-”

“You are! You are!” Santiago growls, smacking Javi’s chest repeatedly. He doesn’t care that he does sound like a child in that moment, arguing relentlessly on semantics. His emotions are bubbling over and muddying his head. “You’re saying that you know best. That your word is law. Despite all you do to endanger Candy!”

“I do n-”

“You do! You think you’re above it all, you’re just as bad, you pretend to care but you-”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Garcia!”

“Make me!”

He doesn’t think. 

There’s always times he doesn’t think. When he gets too lost in whatever emotion he’s letting overwhelm him. Sometimes rage. Sometimes guilt. Usually negative either way. That’s where Santi is a good partner, keeping a cool and level head while Javi plays bad cop.

Usually ends up with him throwing a punch, not a kiss. 

Santi knew ‘make me’ was childish. Knew it was playground nonsense reserved for kids still in single digits. But if everyone was going to keep calling him that, keep pretending that he wasn’t the only actual goddamned adult in the room then-

Then…

Javier’s lips on his steal his breath away, rob him of every thought that has ever run through his mind. And, for once, it’s blissfully quiet. The anxieties pushed away for the peace of a lover's kiss.

Javi presses closer, pushing Santiago further into the wall and cupping his face with his warm hand as he kisses him, body to body, warmth to warmth. Darting out his tongue to just trace Santi’s bottom lip and groans when he parts them immediately, no hesitation, and lets him lick into his mouth. 

The angle’s a little awkward, Javier’s body trapping Santi’s hand between their chests. But Santiago’s fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him closer as his kisses leave him breathless and desperate for more.

Javier’s leg bumps into his and Santi moves a step, moaning softly and then whining as his thigh presses against his half hard cock, a sharp spike of pleasure running up his spine and- 

His thoughts all come crashing down. What the fuck, what the fuck  was he doing? His mother’s voice rang in his head, screaming his name. 

He could get arrested for this, thrown in jail, worse. He was going to burn in hell.

Santi pulled back quickly, disentangling himself from Javier so quickly that both men nearly fell. He turned, not giving the older man a second look, and ran out of the alley into the crowded street. 

He didn’t even hear Javier call his name. 

*

“Are you okay, baby?” You asked, your naked body covering Santiago while giving him tender kisses, scooting yourself up and down his cock. You loved to tease him, get him whimpering and watch as all those troublesome thoughts left his pretty little head. He was too pretty to be so worried all the time.

He’d been stressed on and off about Javi, occasionally bringing it up, but you think he stopped when he realized it upset you. You were really good at pretending to care when old professors droned on and on about academic works or when men talked about themselves or complained about their wives and mothers again and again and again. You could’ve faked not being upset when Santi, but you didn’t fake anything with him. Javi’s absence hurt your feelings. You were worried about him, and you were angry at him for abandoning you and hurting Santi. For continuing to hurt his feelings. Bitch.

But honestly… you just miss him. A lot. It would take more than a poster to patch this, he’d have to make things right with Santi too, but you’d forgive him. You just wanted him back, and you wanted Santi happy again. He was already thin enough, and as your body slid up and down the sweaty length of him, you could feel he’d lost weight. 

Santi moaned loudly, gripping onto your hips as you bounced on his length, his eyes rolling back in his head as your heat engulfs him over and over. Pulling him deeper and deeper. 

The fat tip of his cock presses deliriously, perfectly rubbing over your walls with every slick slide. Stretching you so wonderfully like he was made for you. He was, he really, really was. Something was bothering him today, and he was finding solace in you. You were happy to give it to him. Pushing all other thoughts out of your head. 

He whines, babbling nonsensically with his eyes closed, “please, please, please,” He rocks up against you, letting his body override his brain as you fuck him into the mattress. “Please, gonna come, please, need you so much,” he gasps, almost sobbing from pleasure. 

You stroke his cheek and pick up your pace, even if he hasn’t said you could tell how close he was. The way his stomach muscles tense, how his eyes are screwed shut and head thrown back into the pillow, “it’s okay, it’s okay, you can come, give it all to me.”

He shakes his head rapidly, “no, please,” he moans, “need you, need mommy to come, please.” 

His whines change in pitch, the little sounds getting higher and higher as he reaches the point of no return. His mouth hangs open, his skin flushed and sweaty, and heat floods to your core. 

You brace yourself with your left hand on his leg behind you as you ride him, leaning back ever so slightly to change the angle just enough that he continuously hits perfectly inside, stretching you to your limit. 

Santi sobs, the position change sending a buzz up his spine, pressing on the thick length of his cock to a surprisingly maddening degree. His whole body pulsed, stealing the air from his lungs.

He bucks up once, his eyes fluttering open in surprise as he comes, his length pulsating. He empties himself deep inside you, his orgasm stretching onwards and overtaking every possible thought. 

You smile as you watch him, happy to see him so blissed out. You ride him throughout his high, trying to prolong his sensations as long as possible. He deserved it.

He sighs, shivering with aftershocks as he comes back to himself and looks up at you. You open your mouth to speak, the words on the tip of your tongue.

Santi grabs you by the hips, urging you up and off him and pulling your aching pussy onto his face. He lets out a small groan at the mess he made, his cum leaking out of your folds before he runs the tip of his tongue through them. 

You bite back a moan, grabbing onto his hair for stability as his mustache brushes against your clit.

His mouth feels like heaven as he lick and swirls around your clit, his movements soft but certain, quickly pushing you towards your peak.

Instinctively you buck your hips, grinding down on his mouth to chase your high. He rocks you against him, urging you tp move and fuck his eager tongue. 

“Santi…” you whine as you come hard against him, pulling fiercely on his hair. 

He continues licking, moaning against you as he drinks down every drop of your release. 

You breathe heavily, boneless for a moment before slowly moving away to lay down next to him. 

He pouts a little as you settle. “I wasn’t finished.” He smiles cheekily, your cum shining all over the bottom half of his face,

You giggle, and gently swat his arm and cuddle up next to him. Santi didn’t need instruction, scooting his back to your chest. In your arms, where he belonged. You loved being like this with him, but somehow it always felt like something was missing. You loved when Javi used to hold you, protecting you with a strong arm around your body, but again, you felt like something was missing, in your arms this time instead of around you.

You kiss the scar on his spine. “Good boy, Santito.”

It happened so fast. Santi teanses and you barely have a second to register how he turns to you, his eyes widen in panic, his skin turning ashen before he’s up, out of bed and pulling on his clothes so fast that it shouldn’t have been possible. What the fuck? Did you do something wrong?

“Santi?” you start, trying to keep your voice soft but unable to hide the fear that has overcome your words.Why is he leaving? What did you do wrong? Did you mess up things with Santi too, the one good thing left? You barely sit up before he’s shoving a handful of dollars at you, practically just throwing them in your direction and the bed. 

“Here.” His voice is quiet, distant. Like he’s not really there. A stark comparison to his panicked, edgy movements. He doesn’t even bother tying his shoes, simply shoving his feet inside them and stumbling towards the door.

“Wait, Sant-”

He slams the door on his way out. 

Leaving your bed cold, and you alone.

It was supposed to be sex, talking. Build a nice repour. That was it. You were good at it too, making old ugly men think you were infatuated, but yourself detached from even the most charming and attractive. Something happened with Javi and Santi, a line that became blurred, friendship and genuine attraction and care. Now they were gone. 

You hate yourself for how hard you cry.

***************

thank you so much to everyone whose stuck around while i sort my SHIT OUT (its never ending)

If you like me writing javi, i wrote a drable today too, and if you wanna see a totally insane version of santi, come to rooms on fire!

be sure to give @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction a follow, he's amazing and my everything. they are pumping out AMAZING works rn for the moon knight bingo.

I appriciate you all very very much, please let know your thoughts in the comment!!!

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[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 416 (rambles)

Ok so this was like mainly a conclusion chapter for many characters and I guess I like that we are getting clarity on what's going on with some of the characters.

This chapter definitely gives me some very mixed feelings I feel like it's one of the best chapters horikoshi has produced in a long time if we exclude whatever is going on with Izuku and shigaraki.

There are still some things I definitely do dislike in this chapter which are:

The overall dismissal of izuku in general by other characters. Like no offense but I feel like we should of seen more people being worried for izuku instead of dismissing their worry and being like oh Iam not putting my faith in him or something because what do you mean you're not worrying for a 16 year old who has to fight an insane psychopath killer?!?? I still hate how momo dismissed this like wasn't 1A's whole objective when it came to getting Izuku back in the vigilante arc was because they were worried and scared for him?!?!? What happend now it makes no sense?!?!? Also i still hate momos atrocious hero costume

Ochako and Toga's character conclusions?!?! Like excuse me what's going on where is toga how is she not in the picture at all if the whole point was that she sacrificed herself for ochako and layed their dying next to her now she is nowhere to be?!?! People just accept it and are like oh well she has been defeated no need to worry but you do realise that she can probably cause damage if she wanted to right?!?? Also Ausi deserves better because what's going on with her she was so out of place and somewhat irrelevant when it came to this arc like seriously hori did her dirty. Also who is next to ochako in that plane ?!?! Am I speaking to early and that could be toga or someone else

Monoma deserved better. Oh did monoma deserve more screentime to shine and actually do more instead he got injured and knocked out offscreen which is such a shame. I really wanted to see more of him

Lady nagant's take on izuku?!?? No offense but Iam sick and tired of characters having some wild takes of izuku. One minute it's oh he sees the good in everyone and he is a saint to the next which is oh he is a puppet who follows instructions to a letter and does more than he should. I still don't like kudo and his views whenever it concerns midoriya it seriously infuriates me. However, now that kudo is gone guess it's lady nagant's turn to take some of the role because hey is she saying that his pain is a good thing and that izuku has a morally grey view of villains which I cannot lie hasn't been proven at all. Don't get me wrong I love that idea but I think like everything in MHA it just has a horrible execution and I can't bring myself to like it. Lady nagant deserves better characterisation then this

This chapter was a 50/50 when it came to the character if Eri. I absolutely adored her interaction with Kota and I find them absolutely adorable also at least ectoplasm is doing something and didn't let the girl run into the battlefield which is good enough (bare minimum). However, it still feels all icky that the heroes used her or well tried to utilise her anyway even if it's with good intentions or whatever the fact that they tried to make her heal aizawa but she lacked energy so she couldn't or whatever. Her lacking energy also feels like somewhat of a horribly introduced plot point because wasn't the whole problem she had when she came to UA was that she had a lot of her quirk built up and shouldn't the power in her horn be enough rewind aizawa into a week back in time like ?!?!! She couldn't be lacking that much energy it makes absolutely no sense to me. Also dam it's sad that Eri is out here being the only one worrying for izuku. They deserve better

Hawks and tokoyami. They deserve their win section I love them and their dynamic just wish the series could of given us more when it came to them seriously the wasted potential the wasted dynamic and tensions get me

The ending of the chapter?!?! Why is izuku in his uniform what happend?!?! I still don't get how they're merging into one person or one entity with different and same memories. Also why is this all about shigaraki like they're sharing memories so why aren't we seeing Izuku's memories this feels iffy to me. The dfo truthers have risen but tbh I don't see how this can benefit izuku in anyway and why does izuku have to watch the shimura family murder. Also if izuku is in his uniform does that mean he has become part of the memory did they do some space jumbo thing where they time travel and now they're changing fate and reality or some shenanigans like that?!??? The kotaro and tenko parallel hit tho that was good but other than that this whole Izuku's Nd shigaraki fight falls flat it's really such a disappointment and disaster to me.

I LOVE THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THESE TWO IZUKU'S. I also adore his relationship with eri I wish we got more of them!!!

[bludnik-a]

mature/explicit byler fic recs??? 👁👄👁

hi nonni!!

quick disclaimer that if ur not comfortable / not ready to explore this type of content u can just scroll past this post. I'll hide fics under the cut.

let start with explicit

"Pink in the Night" by yamilumen. Winter break after first semester of college. Will is drunk, and Mike takes care of him. The morning after, they must face the consequences. TW for dubcon ig. One of the first that I read and still one of my faves. looove byler dynamic in this one.

"in the midnight hour" by @wisehearts. He takes note of the way Will paws at his dress shirt, needy and not entirely aggressive, pressing into kisses in a way that feels like he’s asking for more rather than taking it. Persistent, but pliable if you touched him right. Red wine was fucking magic when it came to Will Byers. if u want smth sweet and hot.

"Hands" by midnighteverlark aka The Parent of byler smut. Mike doesn't like his appearance. Will wants to help out with that.

"A caged bird stands on the grave of dreams" series by AabH. Slavery AU. TW for a lot of violence and abuse.

"the feminization of michael wheeler" by one and the only lawofmurphie. how a bundle of lace and a lifelong crush distract mike from the inevitable implosion of his family unit as he knows it. not only really really hot but also great mike character study. it's more about mike's desires and acceptance at first and u have to wait till byler a bit but it won't disappoint u i promise!

"Conceived in Sin" by eternalwinters, floralsun, keeksbyers. In which Will Byers has a reputation as a bit of a prude. But Mike Wheeler, a guitarist with distinctly the opposite sort of reputation, can't seem to stop thinking about him. good boy/bad boy au we all is lacking.

"i'm starving, darlin'" by id_rather_be_home. Mike and Will are sexually frustrated eighteen-year-olds, sick and tired of having absolutely no privacy in their homes. The hand-jobs and the blow-jobs are fun but Mike will go crazy if Will isn't able to fuck him again before they leave for college in five more months. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

the whole section with my favourite trope "we pretend like it's nothing but it's actually everything". I love every fic Dearly and I would recommend to start with one of this :)

"the thing about illicit affairs" by problematicbyler. Will and Mike become friends with benefits. Which is a totally reasonable arrangement that they’re both completely content with, obviously.

"Privacy" by BottomWillByers. Dustin and Lucas were on night watch so it’s just him and Mike in the room. Having fallen asleep early, both tired from the supply run they were on earlier today, Will passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow only to be woken up a couple of hours later to pressure on his ass. It took a moment to orientate himself. Used to waking up to noise and vibration but not touch. He was pressed up tight to the wall like usual, which usually gave him inches of space between himself and Mike. But not right now. Because Mike had scootched across the bed and was spooning Will from behind. His bare chest pressed alongside Wills exposed back, one arm slung over his waist as he mumbled into the back of his head. Will’s about to ask Mike what was going on when he felt it. The consistent thrusting of Mike’s hips against the swell of his bum. His words die in his mouth as he registered that Mike was asleep. Soft moans spilled from his lips and the hard pressure of his dick stuttered against Will.

"After Hours" by pterafractal. A recently out Will Byers begins his freshman year at Indiana University, with his childhood best friend (and roommate) Mike Wheeler. Between learning to navigate the campus and keep his head above water academically, Will struggles to reconcile changes in his relationship with Mike.

"The Open Door" by Mylesime. He’s too close, too handsome, too real. And Will wants to cry because the shield has almost completely collapsed. “Mike,” he says or begs, he doesn’t know. Mike stares at him and he has never looked so serious. “I really want to do this with you.” The shield breaks. Will feels his mana bar diminish by hundreds of points. He's out of it. It will take weeks to recharge, months even. “Now?” he wails and he hates how frail he’s sounding.

"Pressure Points" by honeytart. College roommates Mike and Will begin a friends with benefits arrangement with one very important rule—absolutely no kissing.

"asking too much" by kissingpractice. Will is struggling. Guys who are nice, hot, AND good in bed are apparently non-existent at their university. Frustrated, he complains to Mike - who makes him an offer he can't refuse. Unfortunately, there's always an aftermath to hooking up with your best friend. Meanwhile, Mike has some realisations.

and mature for anyone who is not ready to deep dive yet

"Touch Me Like You Know Me" by @starsarefire824. Mike doesn't go home anymore, not unless absolutely necessary. Instead, he stays far away from Hawkins, quietly shutting himself off from the world, and burying the pain of the things he never said to the boy he'd left behind. But when his mother convinces him to return home for his thirty-fifth birthday, Mike is finally forced to confront just how much he'd given up when he runs into Will by accident. Mike-centric. Estranged Byler reconnection fic. Soft and Sweet.

"Broken Wings" by Turning_tides. Mike returns to Hawkins after his freshman year of college, riddled with regret and eager to make up for the biggest mistake of his life - hurting Will. He quickly learns, however, that his estranged best friend is being kept behind a locked door. A locked door named Keith. Now, Mike finds himself in a race against time to locate the key, desperate to free the boy he loves from the prison his abuser created just for him. TW for abuse and drug addiction.

"the comforts that make us feel numb" by @newlesbianprideflag “No, but really. If I were a girl,” Mike presses on, looking up at Will with red-rimmed eyes through dark lashes. Leaning in. Somehow, fully unaware that this line of questioning has Will's heart climbing up to his throat. “Would you want to kiss me?” Will and Mike get high in the desert.

"any semblance of touch" by stella :) Mike’s still new to this whole smoking thing. Will has a few ideas.

"In Undertow" by olliecoddle. four months after one byers/wheeler couple breaks up, another gets married. and, of course, will and mike are both the best men. and, of course, there is a plot to get them back together. nothing goes to plan.

***

there're a lot more then i thought ‪😭‬ there're genuinely so many good works. i could look for just one and stumbled upon three other I wanted to include in the list. and i think it's pretty obvious what kind of dynamics i prefer. anyway.

i hope u'll find smth new to u anon but if u won't u can drop ur fic recs in my inbox. love u <3

[starflungwaddledee]

Hello hello!! I absolutely adore Starstruck Dee, she’s a darling!!

I hope it doesn’t sound too strange to ask, but I finished playing through Forgotten Land’s main and postgame stories, and between that and seeing all these wonderful ocs and everything… where can I learn more about the Kirby lore/timeline? Where would I even start with it?

Is it the sorta thing where the base concepts from canon are the same but everyone has their own interpretations of it?

Are Kirby and Bandee kids?? Younger adults? Is it a Rayman situation where they grow up over the course of their games?

I know I sound very uneducated but I really really want to learn!

hi there! thank you so so much! 🥺 i'm so happy that you like her!

this isn't strange to ask at all, and you don't sound uneducated! i'm thrilled to answer for you and if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to reach out!

i'm popping all of this under a read more just because it got very long!

topics covered: the joys of 30+ years of breadcrumb lore delivery, the diverse headcanons of a very creative community, and recommendations on where to step off from if Forgotten Land was your first kirby experience

to be honest kirby "lore" is enormous and sprawling and has been spread out in tiny little crumbs across multiple platforms and medias for over three decades. if you're poking around in tumblr fandom as a starting point, one of the reasons it can be so hard to figure out what's what is because a lot of folks pick one aspect (early game dynamics, ancient anime lore, the mirror world, niche subgames, etc etc) and hyper-focus to their hearts content!

one of the nicest parts about kirby is that the lore, while comprehensive and really cool, is very very open for interpretation. the fandom is very creative, and build all their own niches and headcanons based on the bare bones that we were given in canon, and it's wonderful to see!

for this reason though, i would actually recommend (and this was my personal experience, though only incidentally) you stay outside of the fandom for a bit and formulate all your own preferred headcanons and thoughts, rather than being influenced by others right out the gate. then you can come into fandom and see brand new takes that might surprise you, and hopefully find some folks who have come to the same niche conclusions as you!

a good starting point is Wikirby, and for games specifically their series list is very helpful. it shows you the mainline games, considered 'game canon', and the smaller titles in chronological order. this is often used by folks as a sort of "timeline" for the lore, though again it's totally flexible

forgotten land in particular was an unforgettable (ha!), incredibly beautiful and cinematic game, as well as the series' first foray into 3D gameplay rather than side scrolling platformer.

if you're looking for an active suggestion for which game to play next and you want a similar experience with familiar characters, (and you don't want to do a full chronological playthrough-- this would take you a long time; i should know, i've been working on mine for months!), i would recommend that you try Return To Dream Land Deluxe.

RTDLDX is a scene-for-scene remake of an older chronological game from the modern era of storytelling with a whole additional storyline, so it's a good place to start, and it's also available for the switch which i'm guessing you must have! you'll find familiar characters in there (Kirby, Bandee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight), multiplayer mode, recognisable copy abilities, and an engaging story-- read as little ahead of time if you haven't already so that it can surprise and delight you!

Star Allies is the other mainline game available for the switch, and it was made as a kind of love letter to the series up until that point. it honours dozens of characters who appeared in previous games and is chock full of nostalgia and uncharacteristically blatant lore drops, but in my opinion you'll enjoy it much more if you have at least a passing idea of who all the allies are!

if you're looking for something other than games, i highly recommend this tumblr masterlist for translations of the light novels! other medias you can check out are the anime and the various mangas. all three of these are quite different to the games, and can be considered to have their own separate canons; some folks prefer one over the other, or will mix and match elements from all medias! some even like to bring in "lore" from the real life kirby cafes!

kirby as a creative playground is diverse and really beautiful; it's the only franchise i have ever created for and fandom i have participated in actually, because i've not seen another quite like it. if you're interested in being creative yourself, i do strongly recommend that you play around in your own sandbox (or with one or two friends who are also discovering kirby) for a little while first to get a feel for what you like!

i hope you'll have a fun time interacting with the franchise, and if you play any of the other games i really hope you love them!! if you want any other suggestions, feel free to reach out!

as for the question of ages, you'll find this question in particular gets western fandom a little more riled up than most. none of the characters have any canonically stated ages, and in japanese remarkably few have genders. kirby himself is specifically intended to be projected on by the player! technically, that could make kirby your age, and your gender, if you so wish!

japanese fandom generally focuses on a very wide range of characters and interconnected relationships, even including a lot of common enemy characters, and considers most of the characters to be of comparable ages; either all teens or all adults. western fandom focuses quite a lot on the much beloved meta knight and dedede partnership, and subsequently-- as romance centric fandoms do-- likes to play around with the idea of kirby and bandee as their kids or wards.

fandom will offer you everything in this regard; far future AUs, baby adoption AUs, even AUs where meta knight and dedede are children while kirby and bandee are adults! it's really entirely up to you, and my number one suggestion is to always be respectful and kind towards everyone's creative headcanons, even if they do not align with your own.

for me, i naturally project onto player characters, and so i always saw kirby and bandee as similar in age to myself. as such, because i'm an adult, they've always been adults to me, and i do like to imagine that they have grown from young adults to full adults over the course of the series! i actually was quite shocked to learn that a lot of tumblr folks thought of them as kids, but that's the fun of joining fandom the way i did, and why i recommend it! bake your own cake, and then hop online and find a million others of all different flavours you can try!

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: A New Beginning (X-Men #1-3)

The true beginning of Rogue and Gambit's story really comes with the new and somewhat iconic era of X-Men. X-Men: The Animated Series drew its inspiration from the relaunch designs, and for someone who grew up with this era, it feels nostalgic as well as historic. Rogue looks and sounds like the character I grew up with. Gambit being crucial to the line up and no longer an afterthought feels pivotal. I feel like we've finally arrived.

And while I know this era isn't void of problems -- believe me, I know... I kind of enjoy this early Rogue and Gambit dynamic. It's fun and flirty and has a little bit of an edge to it. And the angst. So. Much. Delicious. Angst.

The funny part is... there really isn't a whole lot of it in these first few issues. Things don't really heat up until issue #4. Not only that, I'm gonna have to bring up Rogneto again... I'm so sorry, guys. Blame Chris Claremont.

Alright, let's dig in...

X-Men #1

Rogue in her now iconic new uniform -- this is going to be a standard for quite awhile. Get ready to see this pose a lot - Jim Lee, and artists after him, really like to do the whole one leg up, one fist out thing. Anyway, despite the fact that I (shockingly) don't like that much yellow on her - she's so pretty. I've always loved this era's hair.

Anyway, you want plot details you say?? This is Chris Claremont's last hurrah on his initial, epic 17 year run with the X-Men. And of course you can expect two things -- space shenanigans and coming full circle with Magneto as the villain. The crux of it is about Magneto possibly being a threat, despite the fact that he wants to be left alone, and of course, the X-Men get sucked into the drama.

X-Men #1

Gambit's redesign - which uses his initial costuming but man does he look so much better. He looks 'cool' in the way that all the X-Men look cool in this era. The dude can pull off the color fuchsia. That isn't easy to do. I do like, however, in color theory that the pinks and purples of Gambit goes well with the greens of Rogue's coloring. But more to the point - Gambit is pretty now, which is what we're all really here for. ;)

Anyway - because this is a relaunch, after our initial Magneto based prologue, we get a (re-)introduction to the entire team in one of my absolute favorite sequences of X-Men comics. The teams will eventually be divided into two groups; the Blue Team -- Cyclops, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, Psylocke, and Jubilee and the Gold Team -- Storm, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Forge, and Colossus, but for now, they're one happy family doing a classic danger room sequence as designed by Charles Xavier.

X-Men #1

The whole sequence is really pretty awesome, but it leads to one of my favorite comic book moments -- where Gambit just goes for it and kisses Jean. It's a fake, robot Jean, but it's a bold move. And leads to Cyclops wanting to drop a truck on him. It's such a classic moment and I love it.

X-Men #1

Our first Rogue and Gambit panel happens right after Wolverine wins the whole training sequence (because of course he does). (Also - Claremont can't quite resist and we get a final 'bang, you dead' moment.) Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit still haven't spoken to each other - but at least they know the other one exists. Progress, right?

X-Men #1

I really need to take a moment and appreciate the fact that most of the time during this era, when Gambit isn't in his uniform, he's running around half naked.

X-Men #1

Ug, alright, let's talk about Magneto again. This whole arc is about Magneto kind of having an existential crisis (which, you know, happens when they need to reset you to villain again). And, unfortunately, we'll get a few of these moments scattered throughout these issues of Rogue trying to talk sense and reason into him due to their 'spark' in the Savage Land. I get that someone should be a reasonable voice -- especially when the rest of the X-Men are attacking the guy before any kind of provocation. But I'm still rolling my eyes that it's Rogue. Notice he calls her 'child' during this? He'll do that throughout. Eesh.

Magneto claims that he has no beef with them and offers them all safe haven on his floating asteroid base -- Asteroid M. And guess who doesn't join him? That's right - Rogue at least has enough sense to stick with the family she knows and cares about over a possible, not really fling. Btw - I hadn't mentioned it back when I was talking about the Savage Land, but there was nothing to suggest Magneto can actually touch her. (I think that might be an Age of Apocalypse thing?)

Also, in case you think any of this sounds familiar - pretty sure X-Men '97 drew heavily from this arc for their Season 1.

X-Men #1

The first time either of them mentions the other one, and it's Gambit being sassy about whether or not Rogue should be a considered a lady. I kind of love it, actually. And love that Beast is like -- oooh, you're playing with fire on that one.

X-Men #2

They're getting more on panel togetherness! Granted it's group shots and they're taking down Magneto, but I'm taking all the scraps!

X-Men #2

Alright, well as much as I'm not a fan of the Rogue/Magneto dynamic, I'm still going to be fair and talk about it. Because it is part of Rogue's development. The key thing here though is that Rogue isn't going to compromise her values and beliefs because she may feel something for Magneto. And this will continue to ring through always through the comics. Of course, how nice of Magneto to swat her away like an annoying fly. Romance for the ages, guys.

X-Men #2

More on panel time! They're really going for all the group shots these days - probably to milk sales. But I mean, Rogue and Gambit look good just standing next to each other, so who am I to complain?

So, back to the plot... Magneto is getting pissy because the world governments are seeing him as a threat. He kidnaps Moira MacTaggart and berates her and blames her for all of his issues (because, you know, she messed with his genetics after he was de-aged, in an attempt to make him /not/ a villain). It was... a whole thing don't worry about it.

Anyway, he has Moira (somehow) brainwash the Blue Team into joining Magneto's side. Because they can't otherwise be convinced. Which, oh my gosh - what's with all the brainwashing lately?? Of course, this means it's Gold Team to the rescue...

X-Men #3

I'm going to try to document every time they're on the same cover. Also, it isn't X-Men unless there's at least an X vs X brawl every other month.

X-Men #3

Another group shot with Magneto in between them?? What can this mean??? Actually, nothing, I think it's just a coincidence. But - I really like the art here.

But.. you guys! YOU GUYS! We get our first real Romy moment in this issue! Granted - they're still brainwashed! But it's another first! Here we go...

X-Men #3

So, they're all hanging out on Asteroid M, taking it easy because - apparently that's what you do when you're a brainwashed Magneto fan. I love that Cyclops is still in his full uniform while Gambit has managed to strip down to his undies. I'm sure we can all tell who is the real fun one of the group.

You know what I like about this exchange, though? Gambit was casually complementing her diving skills and Rogue is the one who decides to get flirty about it. Of course, Gambit's going to push it further - see how far she wants to really go, and that'll cause her to run -- a dynamic that we're going to see a ton of as we go through all of this early stuff.

But for all that Gambit's going to push - it's not completely unwarranted or completely out of nowhere. Yeah, he gets flirty with the ladies on principal. Yeah, he went for kissing (fake robot) Jean unprompted because he thought he could. I won't defend some of the ickier aspects of these comics.

But... I'm fascinated by the idea of - what if she could touch? Would it still be a game to him? Would she have let it continue? Would they just have had a little fling right off the bat? Are her powers what really pushes them to have a deeper relationship than what they might have had? Just all the thoughts I'm throwing out there.

I also like that, that little moment of humor, where she knocks him into the pool, is so genuine it shakes her out of her mind control.

I also like that Gambit's genuine concern for her stops his playfulness.

It's such a tease of some great stuff coming up, and I am here for it.

X-Men #3

And that's really all we get guys. The Gold Team shows up to save the day but not before some X-Men fighting amongst each other. Magneto monologues for a while. Charles tries to get him to see reason. The people of Earth try to nuke Asteroid M and everyone gets outta there while Magneto decides to go down with the proverbial ship.

X-Men #3

This is in the closing moments of the issue - and I'm putting it here because it is Rogue talking about Magneto again -- but kind of seeing reason and how their ideologies do not work. She's trying to get Xavier to see this, and it's funny that Xavier is having a very hard time trying to let his old 'friend' go. Rogue, however, is fine. Maybe there had been a small, romantic spark of being caught up in close quarters in a shared moment. But that was all it was.

There is more to a longer lasting romance than fleeting moments due to circumstances. ;)

The X-Men take off leaving Magneto and his real followers to their fates. Of course... we know that it's never the real end of Magneto. Asteroid M may blow up, but he'll be fine.

However, I'll take a moment say that it's a poetic ending. Chris Claremont closes it out with a sort of goodbye. His tenure on X-Men is now complete, and we've fully stepped into a bright, new era!

X-Men #4 is gonna bring it. Let's do it! ;)

[glimblshanks]

Okay headcanon time: So in Crisis Point Beckett says that Carol has "been a dick to her since she was eight", and my theory on that is that eight years old is when Beckett first started actually living on starships.

It makes sense to me that Starfleet would have an option for people with young children to live planet side and work at the academy for a bit if they wanted to, and I think Carol took that option and raised Beckett on Earth for the first few years of her life.

This is backed up by the fact that Carol is a captain while her husband is an admiral. Assuming that the two of them started in Starfleet around the same time and had mostly the same opportunities to rank up, Carol taking a long break on Earth to raise Beckett while her husband kept working on starships would explain their rank difference.

This would also explain some things about Carol and Beckett's dynamic.

Carol is functionally a single Mom for most of Beckett's early life. It's hard, but she does her best and she loves her daughter.

Then, when Beckett turns eight, Carol decides she's old enough for them to go back onto a starship (and for the sake of narrative we'll say it's the same ship Alonzo is on).

This results in a couple of things:

Carol's knowledge and expertise are suddenly taken less seriously than they were before because she's been away for so long.

Being on the ship also makes it much more apparent that while Carol was struggling to be a single Mom, Alonzo was taking those eight years to build his career and network. This is something she already knew intellectually and had supposedly accepted and agreed to, but being her husband's subordinate on the ship really hammers in the reality of it and brings up complicated feelings for her.

On top of all that, Beckett is struggling to adjust to their new environment and to her dad suddenly being around full-time (of course she is, she's eight!). She's acting out in response.

Alonzo's most regular interactions with his daughter before this took the form of evening video calls. As a result, he has no idea how to actually parent her or deal with her tantrums.

This leaves Carol to deal with Beckett's behavior, and while she loves her daughter she's frustrated.

Dealing with Beckett takes her away from her work regularly, and Beckett's poor behavior reflects badly on Carol. It's having a major impact on her ability to actually re-integrate into the ranks of Starfleet.

Carol responds to this by essentially taking it out on Beckett. She's not abusive or anything, but her parenting style absolutely does become harsher and stricter.

For Beckett, who is already adjusting to a lot, this sudden change in dynamic with her mom only makes things worse and she acts out more. The problem becomes cyclical and more extreme as she gets older, and eventually, you end up with the mother-daughter relationship we see in the show.

I also think this is backed up by some on-screen interactions with Alonzo during the series.

In the very first episode, Carol calls Alonzo and says "She's your daughter too!" In an attempt to get him to deal with Beckett and god, how many times have I heard other women say something similar about their husband's relationship with their children? You definitely don't get the impression that Alonzo pawning Beckett's behavioral issues off onto Carol is a new thing.

Then, in Grounded, Beckett and Alonzo have an exchange that basically boils down to "You listen to your mother more than you ever listen to me" which also makes some sense if Carol was a more consistent parental figure for Beckett in her early life.

Idk, I doubt we'll ever hear a lot about Beckett's childhood in the show itself, but based on what we do know this is the theory that makes the most sense to me.

[jjs-brainrot]

Are there any yuri manga/anime that you would recommend to a new fan of the genre? Everyone swears by Utena but I don't think I have the mental fortitude for a show like that yet.

Sure thing!

Bloom Into You by Nio Nakatani

(manga and anime)

It's the classic newcomer entry point but there's a reason it's still as highly lauded as it is: It is just that good. It's got excellent drama, the main two characters have a really great and intriguing dynamic between them and it much more openly acknowledge the queerness of it's characters then a lot of yuri before it did. A lot of the more recent yuri mangakas regard it as a major inspiration, and the anime getting as big as it did tends to be seen as one of the major factors in the yuri boom we've been experiencing the last 4 years or so.

Both the anime and manga for it are excellent, though the anime only covers the first couple of volumes (which unfortunately is something I can say about about most stuff on this list as yuri anime tend to not get more then a single cour...)

Whisper Me a Love Song by Eku Takeshima

(manga and anime (not recommended))

Had to get at least one band yuri on the list. Unfortunately, the recent anime for Whisper Me a Love Song kind of turned into a trash fire. Which sucks as the manga itself is quite excellent. Early chapters are very cute and sweet and the later chapters have some very spicy drama.

I really can't recommend the anime for this one so it's a manga only recommendation outside of maybe checking out a playlist of the songs from the anime when they appear in the manga.

How Do We Relationship? by Tamifull

(manga only atm)

Hands down one of the best examinations/dissection of what it means to be in a relationship from any romance series I've ever read. Every character feels like they're written as people with their own likes/dislikes and feelings towards romance and sex instead of romance character archetypes. it genuinely feels like you're watching people navigate their differences to make a relationship work rather than a "these two were made for each other" style romance series.

That being said, this is probably the hardest to read series on this list as it can absolutely get way too real at times and also does not shy away from talking about heavier subject such as homophobia, trauma, etc.

School Zone Girls by Ningiyau

(manga only atm)

This is basically a Nichijou/Daily Lives of High School Boys style slapstick comedy but full blown yuri. If you're a fan of stupid x stupid, this is the series for you as there are so many morons (affectionate) in love with each other here.

Unfortunately, the manga is currently on indefinite hiatus while the mangaka works on other projects which is the main downside of this one but it's still def worth checking out.

I'm in Love with the Villainess by Inori

(light novel(audiobook version also available), manga and anime)

Otome game villainess isekai romcom that is very gay while also being extremely frank when it comes to discussing queerness, bigotry and uneven wealth/power distribution. It's a series that that ardently refuses to use subtext at every turn which is quite respectable given how many yuri tend to dance around discussing queerness outside of "they're in love". It's not perfect and does have its flaws (enough to get labelled as "problematic" by the usual ingrates) but its strengths easily elevate it to one best yuri series from last couple of years.

The anime and manga are both excellent (with both the JP and EN dubs of the anime being fantastic) but they are pretty behind compared to the light novels (anime only goes up to the first chapter of the second book and the manga is roughly 70% through the second book). The light novels are genuinely excellent reads so if you get caught up on the other two, I'd def recommend picking up the LNs.

Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

(manga only atm)

What if Kamen Rider but yuri?... That's basically it on my sale tbh. It's an extremely gay yuri tokusatsu. It's genuinely a crime that it has not gotten an anime or an actual live action tokusatsu...

[lai-mar]

Can't wait till this blog is old enough so posts start showing in main tags, but for now, a salty lil rant

Shipping aside, I'm surprised by how Laios + Marcille even as friends doesn't get as much fan attention as I expected considering how heavily the series focuses on their development? I consider Laios to be the protag and Marcille to be the secondary protag but I can see the argument for the two of them being dual protags especially starting from around Thistle's house arc / Marcille becoming the dungeon lord. The protagonists are party members who bond over losing and finding a loved one. They save each other multiple times and live with each other in the end. They get copious amounts of screentime together and separate. They clearly care for each other and love each other (in whatever way). And there's no forced romance.

Before I read the manga, I saw all the yuri on my TL and was like YESSSSSS I'M READING THIS FOR THE YURI WOOOOOO and finished the Red Dragon anime episodes like "wow that was soooo good and gay. Let me go on Tumblr to see what people are talking about— people are shipping Marcille and LAIOS??? Probably annoying straight people who cannot conceptualize a friendship between a man and woman 🙄". So I started out with a squick for the ship. I think the fan perception made me believe F/M is canon and anything else would be like queer erasure? Except I later learned no ship is canon and was genuinely confused when the manga started giving us L/M crumbs (like the succubus chapter) because I thought the shippers were pulling this ship from thin air lmao.

The more I read, the more I was like.... "okay.... why are they kinda... okay I get it now... why am I.... oh shit... I'm really in it now" and I apologise because I really get it now 😭 and it baffles me to see people who have seemingly finished the manga going "Laios and Marcille have NO CHEMISTRY their only line of connection is through Falin". Like, okay, maybe that was how they were at the beginning (but I would argue they have chemistry even from the first few chapters), but that's the POINT and we get to see them evolve and get closer because they both love and miss Falin. Laios moves on from being "Falin's brother" and Marcille moves on from being "Falin's friend". L+M know about each other's deepest, subconscious desires. Marcille lives with the siblings at the end. No matter the bond, they are the two most precious people to her.

I was still squicky about romantic L/M even at the succubus chapter (which I know is probably the starting point for a lot of shippers) but THEN THE RABBIT CHAPTER. And after that when the Canaries found Marcille and she immediately jumped onto Laios I was like "Oh fuck. I'm really in this now fuck fuck FUCK". (Nothing makes me get into a dynamic more than having an initially squicky reaction because I'll need to have a strong enough conviction to overcome the squick LOL)

Anyways. Seeing people being annoying and pissy about L/M only made me like L/M more 🤡 because at least the shippers appreciate their bond. I'm a little desperate here. Even their platonic bond is kind of a rarepair in the English fandom 💀

I'm so glad the anime is going at the pace it is now because this is only the beginning of the L+M development!!!! The anime onlies will understand later!!! I made the same mistake and judged too early and I'm sorry!!!! So many anime L+M moments and panels and crumbs yet to be seen 🥺

Anyways. Laios and Marcille's bond is absolutely central to the plot and character development. But I wouldn't have guessed that if I didn't read the manga and just based it off fan attention.

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

Intoxicating. That's What You Are. (Affinity Series)

Alpha!Bucky x Sweet Little Omega!POC!Reader

Wordcount: 1413

Summary:

A surprise morning visit from Bucky while you get ready for the day. Cuddly, cute, soft Bucky, just wanting to take care of his omega before she goes about her day.

Warnings:

Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Sweet Bucky Barnes, Soft Bucky Barnes, Oral Sex

Notes:

Sometimes art imitates life 😉

Bannner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

Sunlight creeps in through the curtains of your large bay window, filling the room with its warmth, slowly rousing you from your slumber. You bury your face in the red henley you wore to bed and inhale the fading scent of sandalwood, whiskey and honey, a small smile appearing on your sleep rumpled face. It’s been two weeks since you last saw Bucky as he has been away on a mission with Steve and Sam. He’s kept in contact as best he could, texting when he had a signal and you even got a call last week. Nothing compares to having your Alpha in your bed keeping you warm though. Hopefully he’ll be home safe and sound soon. Until then you do have a life you have to keep living. No use in daydreaming the morning away when you have things to get done. 

You throw the comforter back and place your bare feet on the soft rug beneath your bed, stretching out your back and arms before getting up and doing your morning routine. After relieving your very full bladder, you brush your teeth and then turn the shower on to heat up while you head to the closest to grab clothes for the day. As you are standing in front of the full length mirror, a dress in each hand, holding each up to your chest, trying to see which one to put on you spot a figure standing in the doorway behind you. You lock eyes with the steel greys of your Alpha.

“Oh don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view.” His eyes roam up your bare legs and stop as he reaches your bottom. “Is that my shirt?” He asks with a smirk and a hint of lust in his voice. 

“Yes it is. It’s the only thing around here that smells like you. I missed you and this helped me calm down enough to sleep and stay asleep. You know what your scent does to me, Bucky.” You state as you turn around and place the dresses on the bench seat of the bay window. You walk over to your Alpha and caress his scruffy jaw. He must have come here straight from his debrief as he still has pieces of his uniform on. “I won’t ever apologize for wanting a piece of you near me when you're not around. Even if it’s just a shirt you left behind that faintly smells like you. You’re mine and I like having your scent wrapped around me.” You lightly kiss the cleft in his chin. “What brings you here so early? Did I miss a call or text from you?”

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close. “No my sweet little Omega, you didn’t miss a call or text from me. I didn't want to wake you. We got in pretty early this morning and then had to debrief. I still have to write up my report but I can do that later at mine and Steve’s place. I needed to see you and hold you in my arms. I can feel my rut coming. Should be here in the next couple days and you know how rough I can get during it. Just wanted to love on my girl a bit, remind her how sweet I can be before I lose my mind to my rut.” He kisses your forehead. 

You let out a sigh of contentment and look up at him. “You know I love all the pieces of you right? Even the feral ones. I quite like those parts actually.” You bite your lip thinking about how he absolutely destroys you when he’s in rut and you can't wait. “With that said, I’ll happily take your sweetness this morning. Just so long as I can make it to work on time.” You run your hands through the hairs on his nape, inciting a soft purr to emanate from his chest. 

“As much as I want to throw you back into bed and just take my time worshiping every inch of your delectable body; I know how much your work means to you. So that will have to wait until tonight. For now, I think I can settle for a taste before we both have to head back out into the world. What do you say, Doll? Can I feast upon the sweet honey that weeps from between your thighs? I’ll make it quick I promise. Just a taste and then I’ll help you finish getting ready for the day.” His hands have slipped under your shirt and are rubbing small circles into your back. 

“When you ask so sweetly, how could I possibly say no.”

A grins splits across his face and before you know it your back hits the mattress of your king sized bed and Bucky is pushing your legs apart resting your knees on his broad shoulders. He kisses your thighs. “This is the only place I wanted to be for the last 48 hours. Couldn't stop thinking about all the little noises you make for me when I eat you out. How you squirm when I hit the right spot with my tongue. Fuck . Just look at you Omega, so wet for me you're dripping onto the sheets already.” He swipes his tongue up along your folds from entrance to clit, eliciting a moan from you. You’re always super sensitive in the morning and you haven't even touched yourself in the two weeks he's been gone. So just that little movement is almost too much already. 

He wasn't kidding when he said he’d make it quick. He wasted no time thrusting his tongue inside you. The thick muscle massaging your silken walls, giving them something to clamp on to. “ Fuck, Alpha. That feels so good.” Your hands are anchored in his hair, just enjoying the ride on his tongue he is giving you. When he swirls his tongue, pulls it out and then moves it to lightly draw figure eight patterns on your clit you lose it. A rainbow of stars detonate behind your eyes and your hearing goes fuzzy as the orgam slams into you. Gripping onto his locks tighter as you writhe beneath him, back arching off the mattress before you go limp, laying in a state of bonelessness.

As the sounds of your apartment start to come back to you, you blink open your eyes and peer down at Bucky. His chin is glistening wet. A saccharine smile gracing his handsome face. Adoration shining in is icy blues. “There she is. Welcome back Omega.” He laughs. “Had me worried for a minute there.Thought I might have made ya pass out. Looks like it was just one hell of an orgasm.” 

A sweet smile adorns your blissed out face. “One hell of an orgasm indeed.” You look over to the clock on the nightstand. “Looks like we still have a bit of time before the water runs cold in my shower and I certainly owe you after that performance. How about a little oral reciprocation in the shower, Alpha? Get dirty while we get clean.”

He chuckles. “While I would love nothing more. You know how I feel about that mouth of yours. That’s not going to be necessary. Seems I was a bit backed up from my mission and the way you were gripping my hair and just riding my face at the end, sort of sent me over the edge with you.” He sits up and you spot a darkened patch near his inner thigh. 

“Is it normal that I find it extremely sexy that you came just from eating me out?” You ask as you run your fingers down his abs and tease his waistband. 

“What can I say. Pleasing you pleases me Doll. Let’s get you in that shower before it runs cold and get you headed out for the day.” He grabs your hand and kisses your knuckles. “The quicker you get your sexy ass to work the sooner you’ll be back home and we can get lost between the sheets for a couple hours.” He stares deeply into your eyes. “I’ll even knot ya real nice and sweet. Reclaim you while we're making love. You deserve some sweetness before my rut fully hits and I utterly destroy you.” With that he picks you up off the bed and carries you into the bathroom so you can finally start your day. 

[jaynovz]

Silverflint BDSM and Kink Fic Rec List

Guess who is finally compiling this? Eyooo! 

If you’ve been around for longer than thirty seconds you know that character study through hardcore smut is my favorite thing on planet earth.

Powerplay and kink exploration aren’t only to titillate us, for me they are fundamentally about vulnerability and trust. Tools I can use to peel away the facades of the characters, to put them in intense situations in order to reveal their tender juicy insides, pushing them through arcs they may not otherwise have been able to experience.

Uh, but yeah also they’re about factory reset via prostate orgasm.

I’ve devoured every single example I could get my hands on and written a fair amount of it myself. So, for your viewing pleasure, here are my must-read Silverflint stories exploring BDSM or kink.

Enjoy~ 👀👀

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Let me see you in your darkness by ember_firedrake:

Summary: "I have an exceptionally low tolerance for pain. I'd say anything to make it stop."

An alternate take on 1x03 where Flint decides to punish Silver for stealing the schedule, and both of them are unprepared for their reactions.

Notes: A s1-s2 series where SilverFlint fall into some BDSM and then catch feelings. This is one of my fave BDSM series of all time, I def took inspiration from it for a lot of my stuff. Includes: impact play, knifeplay, blindfolds, restraints, wax play. They get very intensely emotional which Jay laps up with a GIANT SPOON. Note that the ending of the series is bittersweet. Best entry is my heart is under arrest again if you’re pressed for time.

Any Port in a Storm by Farasha:

Summary: Fairlead: A ring or hook that keeps a line running true, preventing it from rubbing or fouling."

I don't want to be a pirate, I'm not interested in the life, I'm not interested in the fighting, I'm not interested in the ships. Don't care much for the sea while we are on the subject." - John Silver

Notes: This series is my second favorite with BDSM. It has less in it than let me see you in your darkness but it starts right off with rough sex and powerplay so the dynamic is similar. It follows through s2, the boys fall into a sexual relationship that contains BDSM elements and they, well, catch feelings lol.  Plentyyyyy of vulnerable stuff. This one has a happy ending. The best entry is Kissing the Gunner’s Daughter if you are pressed for time.

A Ship is a Republic by robotboy:

Summary: Flint and Silver train every day on the cliffs, and Silver starts to realise he likes being told what to do.

Notes: I think of this as both the quintessential cliffs era as well as the quintessential Silverflint spanking fic. This author’s treatment of the pirate boys’ dynamic was a MAJOR INSPIRATON when I started writing my own fic, thank you for your service.

What It Feels Like Not to Hurt by robotboy:

Summary:  So. This is a 9k slow burn watersports fic. That's a thing that now exists in this fandom. But it's mostly about Silver recovering in the warship cabin and working out how much of his humanity is tied to humiliation. To echo my esteemed colleague purplecelery: 'I'm gonna gently suggest that anyone who's not usually into this take a gander anyway because you might be surprised.'

Notes: This is Thee Gold Standard (heh lol) for watersports, absolute mastercraft character study through kink. Set during the s2-s3 break, warship recovering times directly after Silver’s amputation.

find you and hold you down by vowelinthug:

Summary: Sorry, Silver, Flint doesn't have time for any of your bullshit. He's all tied up right now.

Notes: Flint gets captured in a nebulous early s3 during the raids and Silver finds him chained up. Bondage and breathplay oh my~~

I’m Honest With Nobody Else by samedifference61:

Summary: “Give me your hands,” Flint says, voice soft but commanding, a captain’s call to action. And Silver is visibly thrown at that. The look of surprise colors something crackling and bright in the blue of his eyes.

Notes: Set in the s3-s4 break on Maroon Island, jealous Dom!Flint, bondage, semi-public sex, comeplay. Om nom nom.

I’ll Carry You Home Tonight by x_etoile_x:

Summary: “What are you doing?” Flint asked in a sharp undertone as soon as they were alone.

In lieu of an answer, Silver slid his hand further up Flint’s thigh, watching carefully to gauge his reaction; he recognized the subtle signs of the effect he was having. This was dangerous, but he wasn’t wrong: Flint’s breath quickened, the rise and fall of his chest becoming visible; he was perfectly still but brimming with tension, muscles quivering, like a highly strung horse about to bolt.

“What does it look like?”

Notes: Pirate date night, set in nebulous s3-s4 break. The boys go have a nice night out in Port Royal and get up to some absolutely kinky shenanigans. Impact play, orgasm denial, and D/s dynamics but also soft shit and Feelings.

Also there’s a podfic. That’s how much I liked it, I recorded it lmao.

Another Way by x_etoile_x:

Summary: Silver doesn’t get the chance to turn back and attack the Spanish soldiers when he and Flint are captured on the warship, so he needs to come up with a different plan. Things get out of control. A retelling of their time on the warship at the beginning of S2, in the aftermath of this.

Notes: Nicknamed Dubcon, Silver does some sexual performativity to save both their lives aka facefucks Flint in front of the Spanish soldier. Then role reversal at the end with Dom!Flint tying and gagging the boy and riding him into the sunset. Delicious powerplay, delicious character study and shifting dynamics.

Hey look, another podfic! Yeah I like this one a normal amount too.

The Soft Animal of Your Body by x_etoile_x:

Summary: Silver has a problem. Flint has an interest, as it turns out, and tells a story.

Notes: Part two of what I consider the Silverflint watersports trilogy. It’s also desperately sweet.

A Vulgar, Holy Thing by Lupismaris:

Summary: A quiet night in harbor leaves Silver brooding and pensive. So much had changed since he found himself with the damned page, he’d hardly be recognizable to the boy he was then. He’d relearned his body, relearned his place in the world, after Charleston, but now, despite his best efforts, Flint was causing him to relearn it all over again.

Notes: A non explicit entry on this list! The powerplay here is done in a sort of indescribably tender way that makes me ache, it’s gorgeous, the pacing is perfect. One of my all time favorites, and uh, “pup” as a nickname for Silver is GOOD, my stance on this is well-documented.

As Good As Gone by spinninginfinityboy:

Summary: “If I have learned anything these past few days, it is the importance of understanding one another.”

There’s a heaviness to the words which speaks of some deeper meaning, but if there is one, Flint cannot parse it. It has been a long time since he cared to try. If there is a world in which he does not have to spend his every waking moment second guessing John Silver, that is the world upon which he has set his sights. The alternative seems only exhausting.

One way or another, Flint and Silver learn how to communicate.

Notes: Set in nebulous late s2, during the journey to Charles Town. The best hatefuck I’ve ever had the privilege of reading, Flint gagging Silver with a gold coin, lives in my brain rent free wtf.

while the world burns by princesskay:

Summary: Flint kisses Silver in the longboat after the shark hunt. When they reach the Maroon island's shores, Silver tries to navigate whether it was a moment of reckless passion or genuine desire and is surprised by the truth.  

Notes: Contains the softest most loving spitting in someone’s mouth I’ve ever read in my life. Also there is a sequel with watersports and omorashi which is the softest most loving pissing fic I’ve ever read in my life.

after the winnowing by princesskay:

Summary: After Charles Town, Silver convalesces at the governor's mansion in Nassau while Flint chooses what happens to the gold - and their futures. Flint tries to take care of him, but are the kind gestures what they seem?

Notes: Featuring silk pajamas, overstimulation, comeplay, intense D/s with somewhat newly amputated Silver, in the break between s2 and s3.

the sack saga by princesskay:

Summary: sub!Flint is plundered, pillaged, and destroyed; Silver reaps the spoils.

alternatively, a treatise on cock & ball torture

OR the most insane character study via bdsm I have ever had the privilege of inflicting on the world

Notes: A seven part series. An exploration of kink, especially cock and ball torture, within the bounds of canon, beginning in 3.1 and following the show events all the way through til the very end.

In my humble opinion, this is the crown jewel of all Silverflint BDSM fic, there is simply nothing else like it. An EXTREMELY thorough and nuanced character exploration through kink that will tear your heart out in the best way possible. For my part, it rivals the actual ending of the show for devastation and having me sob in a puddle. Uh, also, it is the most sun-scorching intense smut I’ve ever read in my life. NOBODY does sub!Flint like Kay. I simply cannot recommend this highly enough.

I have so many feelings about it that the only way I've been able to fully express them is to do audio adaptations lmao.

Cornered by Thiebes:

Summary: It was only a dream.

Notes: Starts with accidental somnophilia which is a favorite trope that I don’t see very often! Also, honorable mention that this author has also written some pirate hazing chair sex with Silverflint side pairing that ahem you should check out. 

Join your hands to your hearts by jauneclair:

Summary: Madi's approach to diplomacy in negotiating relationships is not what Flint expected.

Notes: MadiSilverFlint during the s3-s4 break. Domme!Madi does impact play with both boys to everyone’s benefit. This is my FAVORITE dynamic for this triad, expertly handled.

don’t let me in with no intention to keep me by brinnanza, jaynovz

Summary: Silver sees red and the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them: “I’m not your fucking dog, and I don’t come when you call.”

There is a beat of silence. Flint’s moustache twitches. The air all evaporates out of the room, consumed by the flash of fire in Flint’s eyes, and Silver can’t breathe, suddenly lightheaded.

Notes: Woof woof, bitch. Here it is, the puppy Silver fic that started an Awakening. Set in early s2, this story explores petplay with sub!Silver and soft Dom!Flint. Including muzzling, cockstepping, drooling, praise kink, face licking, and indulgent inspection of the prize poodle. We continue to blame Luke Arnold and the Fetch Phillips Archives for this (affectionate).

Also exists as a Jay podfic!

for that devious dance between you and me by jaynovz:

Summary: What madness is this that has possessed him, to be taken by such thoughts after so long? He’d thought himself past such consuming desires, and how can it be this lying, scheming thief who brings them to the surface again? But Flint, still deep in shadow, has moved closer to the couch where Silver is laid out before him like an offering, a divine temptation to which it would be so easy to succumb. Surely this is another of Silver’s manipulations: he makes a display of himself, and he must know the reactions he draws, what he looks like, it's frankly obscene.

The whirlpool of depravity has caused Flint’s breathing to grow heavier in the quiet, his mouth gone dry and fingers twitching with the urge to do something. Suddenly, he realizes Silver is watching him in return.

Notes: Set in s1 after Flint returns from the Andromache chase. Featuring Silver shackled and at Flint’s mercy, or is he? Highlights are the hairpulling, choking, little bit of blood and comeplay, and the push and pull of complex D/s dynamics. 

did the twin flame bruise paint you blue by jaynovz:

Summary: A few people milling about in the center dance floor migrate towards the bar, and suddenly through the crowd Silver spots him. The person he’s both hoped and feared to see the entire evening.

James Flint stands not fifty feet away from Silver, chatting with Eleanor, his mouth quirked in a half smile as she says something amusing. There’s no fanfare or drama or some grand entrance like Silver has been conjuring in his mind over and over again… No, Flint is suddenly just here, winked back into existence, careening into Silver’s life. Silver has not seen him in a year, (barring the weak moments obsessively checking Flint’s rarely updated social media), and now Flint is right across the room.

Notes: My novel of a modern au, nicknamed Break Up AU, more an exploration of the most fucked up toxic ways to do kink and powerplay lmao. Bad BDSM Etiquette serves as a plot point, as does cuckholding kink and exhibitionism. There is a veritable buffet of different types of sexual encounters, definitely the most powerplay and varied kink exploration I have done by density, and also the most sophisticated/complicated. It features my favorite Flavor of desperate sub!Silver and possessive Dom!Flint heavily, though some role reversal surprises await you as well. 

Saps by yeaka:

Summary: There’re no fluids aboard save what John produces.

Notes: Trans!Silver providing for the crew via sex fluids during the doldrums while Flint supervises. The voyeurism and somewhat by proxy of it all, the edging, the cannibal vibes...?  This ficlet rewrote my brain chemistry.

The Oak & the Reeds by Little_White_Lie:

Summary: They didn't do it, but they could've done it. If only someone had seen that beneath the impenetrable armor of Captain Flint, there was a man named James McGraw who ached to be touched. If only something had made him bow.

or

Fuck you Jon Steinberg and Robert Levine, they could've made it if Madi had given Flint a hug and Silver had blown his back out.

Notes: Set in early s4, a rewrite of canon from the perspective of the boys entering into a powerplay relationship after Silver returns from the sea. Absolutely choice Dom!Silver and sub!Flint content with fealty dynamics. As well as the pre OT3 content Jay craves.

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As always, I love to get feedback on entries that I may have missed. Mwah.