#like his biggest Buffy relationships are Faith and Dawn
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When thinking about my Vision for a self indulgent Trans Masc Potential btvs au, I wish my description for Faith and Torryn's dynamic was more articulate than "give Faith a Dawn character" but tbh that's the gist.
Like the more I rewatch Faith's episodes and the more I genuinely appreciate her character and her dynamic with Buffy and the show at large, the more I understand how rich the soil is for Faith to have the opportunity to forgive past versions of herself by being confronted with a literal Reason to stay alive.
Like she's so self-destructive and self-hating and then we throw in Spunky and Disciplined and Fearless baby potential slayer (who in this AU would serve as yet another drain on the resource that is her own Watcher's attention). If I Die Then Torryn's The New Slayer, and that's a source of self-preservation (the kid isn't READY) and envy (they all wish I'd hurry up and die so Crown Princess Perfect Slayer can finally take over) and keeping Torryn at a distance ("stop following me around! Go the fuck home or I'll knock you out and dump you at the ER--Buffy. The brat has officially PULLED A KNIFE ON ME, can I please hit this child?!")
Like. Imagine a series of scenes where Buffy tells Faith about the Slayer test on their eighteenth birthday, and Faith loses her shit, and immediately tells Torryn, who is roughly 13/14 and, for the first time, genuinely questions the wisdom and authority of the Watchers. Like, this not only permanently damages Torryn's relationship to Wesley, but it adds a permanent stitch to Torryn and Faith's relationship.
Faith sends mixed signals even in platonic relationships. She never wants Torryn tagging along on actual slaying, but encourages Buffy to include him in on training. She encourages the increasingly "boyish" fashion choices but also cracks jokes about it when Torryn's annoying her. She lashes out, often at random, panicking over what Torryn's abrupt announcement by the fates as the Next Slayer means for her. My god, how DISPOSABLE would his presence make her feel? Especially in my current version where its Wesley himself who brought him to Sunnydale?
But just like Faith reached out to Buffy for connection at first, just like Faith genuinely TRIED to forge a bond of trust and teamwork, I think Faith would, at first, find it easy to blame the council, not Torryn. Torryn, at that point, would be THIRTEEN YEARS OLD. And yes, Torryn is, in my most self-indulgent vision, born a known Potential, and was only recently announced as the guaranteed next one, so, much like Kendra, he was raised from birth to do this and is just VERY talented at it and is VERY well liked by the council, which bothers both her and Buffy. And yeah, it burns. It hurts, and rightly so, but I think Faith and Buffy would both react to Torryn's life with horror and grief and anger. Until the tipping point in her arc, when she's retreating into self-destruction and violence because she can't cope anymore, Faith aims her feelings of jealousy and fears about lacking significance in other people's lives at Wesley and Giles and even the other Scoobies before she aims at Torryn.
Maybe she doesn't like the idea of grown men finding an excuse to beat the snot out of a little girl every day of her life. And that disposability is ultimately something they have in common. Faith is likely the first person to ever tell Torryn, in a way that actually Sunk In, that he was worth something besides his hypothetical, future ability to kill monsters, "which you will not be able to do if you take your dirt nap early, so, when me or B tells you to stay away from something, stay away from it, kay? For me?"
Faith is absolutely the first person to clock that Torryn is either not-straight or not a girl. Torryn resents Buffy for putting Faith in a coma AND resents Faith for not dying: its the worst scenario to him. Faith is effectively gone, out of reach, but he's still human, and still convinced that being A Slayer would have filled that gaping void of wrongness and yearning that haunts his every waking moment. The only reason Torryn didn't know that was Faith in Buffy's body was because he was over in LA still figuring out he wasn't a girl. Torryn probably ripped up Faith's letters from prison and probably never visited her and then when he saw Buffy sacrifice herself and realized he'd been Called despite Faith still being alive he probably broke her out of prison.
He absolutely broke her out of prison and insisted it meant nothing.
#btvs#btvs oc#faith lehane#the monster speaks#Torryn is one of my biggest OC Blorbos#it has been figuring that he works best if I imagine him as getting his biggest early character development in early seasons angel#and if i center his biggest relationships with people outside the core scoobie gang prior to season six#like his biggest Buffy relationships are Faith and Dawn#and part of his coming out arc in season six hinges on the fact that he's in Sunnydale not in LA#he's finally a Slayer but Sunnydale isn't his home and these guys aren't exactly his Family#like he Loves Dawn (they're literally the same age) but they are both accutely aware that the relationship they remember is False#that they were not childhood friends#that the letters they wrote back and forth were constructed by goddamn monks#and during this point he's still piecing things together and finding comfortable words for his experience#aka I'm a slayer why do I still feel like an imposter?#and yes this means Faith is around for all of season six and season seven
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Character Ask: Buffy
General opinion/How much I care about them: THAT'S MY GIRL THAT'S MY FAVORITE GIRL THAT'S BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS!!!! she's so funny she's so brave she's got so much love and rage and despair inside of her. She kicks so much ass and suffers so much and cracks so many stupid jokes đđđ
A ship I love: it's Fuffy for me, that can't be a surprise after 100k words of published fic and my entire truly insane tag for them. But yeah. Yeah. I like them a normal amount (<- lying)
A non-romantic relationship that I love: i already talked a little bit about Scooby friendship so for this I'm gonna say Dawn! They're so funny together, when they fight it feels natural, but they love each other SO much and when the show puts their relationship center stage it always works for me
The NOTP: NOTP feels too dramatic for how I feel about Spuffy but ngl it's weird sometimes to be in this fandom experiencing total and complete lesbian immunity from Spike. Literally just over here like đ. I mean objectively I get it! I see the appeal of his character and that ship! It does absolutely nothing for me, and the only parts I find very compelling are just what that relationship says about Buffy herself. Sorry :/
My biggest headcanon about them: I can't keep just saying "they're bisexual" for this answer I can't I can't (she is tho đ) - okay but aside from that I really do think guidance counselor would have been a good career for Buffy. I think if you follow comics canon to at least just the establishment of the slayer school, then a lot of the same soft skills she would have employed as a counselor get put use training newbies (outside of a life and death apocalyptic time crunch I really do think she could be good at it)
An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: (if I have none in my WIPs I'll make one up on the spot!) God I have so many fics I wanna write đđđ I've talked a bit about it before but my Very Ambitious And Intimidating Dream Fic is this season 4/5/6 rewrite that begins with Faith being held captive by the Initiative in s4. In the s5 part of the fic I really, really want to explore how much would be different (and how much sadly the same) for Buffy if she actually had a supportive partner and a backup slayer while dealing with losing her mom and fighting Glory. It makes me crazy to think about it.
Something that makes me think of them: (a song, a character in another fandom, an animal, anything) any time I see a cool axe in media I think "wow, Buffy Summers would have loved this"
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Angel and Dawn for Character Bingo
(Character opinion bingo).
Angel:

Not the biggest Angel fan in the world, but I've gradually warmed to him over the years, in part as a reaction to some pretty ridiculous anti-Angel fan takes I've run into. And however well done or plausible you think the early Buffy/Angel relationship is -- I think it's more than a bit rushed myself -- it's such a key part of Buffy's character and her later relationships that I can't really imagine the show without it.
I do think Angel works a lot better as part of a dynamic though. Whether that's with Buffy herself or with Darla or Cordelia or Faith or Spike -- he needs somebody to bounce off and demonstrate how weird he can be, or he's just this kind of generic brooding presence. (Obviously I get why Angel was the Buffy cast member to get his own show, but this is part of why I think he is a very odd choice for that.)
Dawn:

Still more than a little bitter about how Dawn gets treated in Season 7. We go from Grave's "I got it so wrong: I don't want to protect you from the world, I want to show it to you" to Lies My Parents Told Me's "LOL, I would totally let Dawn die if I had to, it's not like she's my only family or represents some fundamental part of myself, is it?" so depressingly quickly. And while I agree that Dawn shouldn't have been a Potential, it would have been nice if the writers could have found something for her to do.
That aside, normally I don't think about Dawn that much. But during my current Season 1 rewatch I've been trying to work out where Dawn fits in with all of this in everyone's revised memories. In particular I've been asking myself is when exactly Dawn finds out that Buffy is the Slayer (if she doesn't know from the very beginning).
I think she has to know by Season 2's What's My Line? at the very latest: Joyce wouldn't have taken Dawn out of school on her days-long art buying trip to LA, so Dawn must have been at home when the Order of Taraka attacked. (Plus, I really want to think that Dawn remembers meeting Kendra. Even if, like everyone else, she never talks about her.)
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I for one LOVE how angel is present in the narrative of buffy the vampire slayer despite not being there physically. it shows how integral of a character he is to the show and how well he fits into the narrative as he has a longstanding impact on the characters
angel's existence as an ensouled vampire complicates the narrative of demons being inherently bad beings that need to be eradicated. his relationship with buffy paves the way for willow and oz continuing their relationship despite his werewolfism, xander being with ex-vengeance demon anya (although there's been the joke already of xander being into demonic women, this relationship is serious and long-term), and buffy's eventual relationship with spike
the angelus arc showed how an ally (and main cast character) can become the villain, later repeated with faith, willow, and anya. it also brought a darker tone to the show and raised the stakes- beloved characters can die or become evil
obviously, angel's relationship with buffy resonates with her throughout the entire show, both positively and negatively. one of the biggest instances to me is buffy stabbing angel and sending him into the portal acathla opened, which prepared her for being able to sacrifice herself for dawn in season 5. there's also the negatives evident in buffy's trauma around sex and dating caused by the angelus arc
though willow had aided and dabbled a little in magic prior, her witch arc really was started when she took up the torch of restoring angel's soul that jenny had started. and that morphed into her relationship with magic being allegorical of addiction, eventually leading her to become a big bad herself
the scoobies are weary of spike because of their trauma surrounding angelus. in the first episodes of the show willow and xander literally have one of their lifelong friends turned into a vampire and xander has to stake him. this event impacts mostly xander and his view on vampires and is a major factor on why he does not like angel, despite angel's ensoulment and rejection of his vampirism. then of course xander feels vindicated when angel turns bad. angel literally changes overnight- he was supposed to be one of the good ones. he literally killed jenny and placed her in giles' house. despite spike being portrayed as more humane, he is still a soulless vampire who is only being restricted because he has a chip in his head, which they obviously would perceive as a threat, even if he did help him because hello. previous allies have become villains. it makes sense for the scoobies to be skeptical and distrustful of him, and for there to be time before they feel they can truly trust him to an extent. also spike's later developments as a character were made possible by angel and in ways literally contrasts with angel specifically
#just a few examples.#inspired a post where I saw ppl hate angel's influence on the narrative regarding spike. I for one love it. his actions have ramifications#that affect how these characters approach the world and their relationships with other characters
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Omg I love your gif set for the 25th anniversary! Can you explain why you picked each shot for each character? I'd love an in-depth analysis đ
Hi, thank you so much! â¤ď¸ Of course, I'd love to talk about my thought process, because I really did put A LOT of thought into the shots I chose. I'm gonna break this down per character, but first I want to state that each mini gifset for each character (if it isn't obvious) is supposed to comprise of shots that represent the character in some shape or form. The large top gif is meant to represent which dynamic *I* find to be the most important to each character. Ok, now I'm gonna start! (for those curious, this is the set sheâs referring to!)
Buffy:
This was simultaneously the easiest and most challenging one to make. How does one begin to describe such a complexly layered and brilliant character like Buffy Anne Summers? So, I started with her most obvious identifier: The Slayer.
For this, I chose the iconic Vampyr book shot, and the cross that Angel gives her. The cross shot is particularly significant, IMO, because I think the interaction between the two of them is what makes Buffy start to take what's happening pretty seriously. Yes, she was reluctant with Giles but then later asked him to prepare her, but at the time, the preparing her for "what" was nameless, formless, just an IDEA. Now, Angel tells her SPECIFICALLY what she has to face, which is The Harvest. I think this is the most where it all becomes very real to her.
I chose Buffy's grave to symbolize her sacrifice in "The Gift." One of Buffy's biggest defining traits is her selflessness and her compassion, and that's beautifully represented in her choosing to die so that her sister may get the chance to finally begin living.
The iconic shot of Buffy's scraped and bloody back! This represents the fact that she's a warrior and her willingness to keep fighting even after sheâs been knocked down. But this scene also represents the burden of being a Slayer, and her speech about how she is the law is such a powerful moment because, finally, she understands what Faith was going on about in season three (although Faith was a bit misguided, she planted the seed.)
And, of course, Dawn and Buffy, which is Buffy's most significant relationship in the series, albeit platonic. And Buffy and Angel, which is Buffy's most significant romantic relationship in the series. Angel was integral to Buffy accepting her destiny as a Slayer. He was her confidant, her partner in crime, her companion, her first love and her first heartbreak. I chose that shot of them specifically because itâs the! scene! The scene where she loses her virginity and the entire trajectory of the show is changed forever. Poor baby really went through it!
I did not choose Giles/Buffy over Dawn/Buffy because Buffy is basically Dawn's mother, in a lot of ways. So, while Giles represents her father figure, a mother will always choose her child. Dawnâs arrival also officially ends Buffyâs childhood. While Buffy was forced to grow up very fast after she was called, there were moments where she still got to be a teenager. But after Joyceâs death, she resumes the role as Dawnâs mother and as a result she loses something she can never get back.
Giles:
Jenny Calendar's grave was selected to represent Giles' greatest love and his greatest loss (after losing Buffy, of course.)
I chose the shot of him smoking a cigarette in "Band Candy" to represent his "Ripper" side. There is no Giles without the Ripper, seeing as the Ripper is always right underneath the surface.
I chose the drawings from "First Date" both because it's funny (and not the first time he has comical drawings), but also to represent his duties as a Watcher.
I chose the shot of him in the Magic Box to represent that very important and significant time in his life, as well as the Scooby's. The Magic Box became their home for awhile, and it also gave him a newfound sense of purpose after spending the entirety of season four feeling rather listless and lost.
I had to include a shot of books, because, hello! Giles! But I chose the shot in "Hushâ because not only does it show him physically reaching for a book to do research, but it shows him choosing to continue helping Buffy despite the fact that he is no longer her Watcher, and he no longer has a job. Like, he stuck around in season four because of his love for Buffy and because he believed in protecting the world.
Buffy and Giles... I mean, no doubt this is one of the most important dynamics of the show. I chose to use it for Giles and not Buffy for the reasons listed earlier, but also because Buffy is Gilesâ entire reason for being in Sunnydale, and a lot of ways, she is his life. Sheâs his daughter!
Willow:
Willow is the only Scooby that gets a romantic interest as the most important dynamic, but sheâs not the only Scooby that gets a romantic interest represented in her set. Choosing Tara was effortless and easy. While their relationship is far from perfect, Tara helps Willow discover who she is. Tara gives Willow strength to navigate the confusing feelings she was having for her, as well as strength to believe in herself and her power. She makes her feel special and seen. I think it is very important to Willow to feel special, and she even says this about Tara to Buffy, âThe only thing I had going for me ... were the moments - just moments - when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.â Tara represents both the light and the dark within Willow. Light, for her ability to love deeply. Dark, for how dangerous that passion can be if itâs lost.
I chose the shot of the pez witch that Oz gives Willow to represent, well, Oz, and the fact that sheâs a witch. While Oz is not Willowâs ~greatest~ love, he helped Willow break out of her shell, and he made her feel loved and like she mattered for the first time in her life.
I chose the shot in âVillainsâ to represent Willowâs darkness and ultimately her greatest flaw: her thirst for power.
I chose the computer shot to represent her skills as a hacker. Before she was a witch, she contributed to the Scooby gang by being a skilled hacker and it made her feel useful, which did wonders for her confidence.
I chose the shot of her and Tara doing the spell with the rose to represent magic (I know I already have a shot of that but itâs Willow!!) and how the show relied on âdoing spellsâ as a metaphor for sex.
The cat shot. Well, itâs cute and very witch-y lol. Also the shot is from âRestlessâ which does a deep dive of Willowâs insecurities concerning inadequacy and how horrified she is of her past self. Thatâs why Oz and Tara are seen gossiping about her.
Xander:
No disrespect to the Xanya and Cander shippers, but Buffy and Willow will forever be Xanderâs most important bond in the series. Xander was literally willing to die for Buffy only two episodes into the show. He may have his problems, he may say insensitive and selfish things at times, but when Buffy and Willow are in danger, he is the first to volunteer to save them.
I chose the shot of him holding an axe in âThe Zeppoâ to represent his willingness to fight despite having no special skills whatsoever. Itâs actually insane how willing he is to fight when he has such a higher chance of being killed. Also, âThe Zeppoâ is just an EXCELLENT character study episode.
I chose the shot of Cordy and the necklace for two reasons. The main reason is the fact that itâs a heart necklace, and Buffy has said that Xander is her strength and he was also the heart in their spell in âPrimeval.â The other reason is that Cordy is in the shot, and I think she actually did a lot for him. Even though he cheated on her, I think Xander brought out a softness in Cordelia, and she also made him feel confident. There was a genuine connection there.
The shot of Anya and Xander at the wedding represents his immaturity. He knew he was not ready to get married, and yet he did not have the courage to speak up sooner. And his reasons for not getting married go far deeper than being too young and immature. It has a lot to do with his family, his fears of becoming like them, and his insecurities. I do think it was RIGHT for him to not get married, 21 is very young, but leaving her at the altar is selfish and immature. Literally the worst way to handle that situation.
I wanted to juxtapose that Xanya shot with a shot of the greatest thing he ever does: save the world. And he saves the world through his words that are fueled by years and years of love.
And last but not least, the plans he brings of the new high school. This represents the more obvious ways he IS useful. He fixes things! He puts Buffyâs house back together. Also, his job is a huge part of his identity since heâs the only Scooby that chooses not to go to college.
I also wanted to say that I intentionally chose the two shots of women having blood on their faces to represent the subversion of the show, and I made Willow and Giles have the black and white color gif to represent how their journeys mirror themselves at times. Giles sees himself in Willow and that is why he is so skeptical and adamant about how she chooses to practice magic.
For the anniversary set, I chose to do the four core Scoobies because they are the heart of the show, and a huge part of why Buffy thrives, survives, and remains grounded as the Slayer is because of the support and help she receives from her friends.
Thanks for the ask! Iâm sure youâre the only person who will read this lol đ¤Ş
#becomingbuffypodcast#answered#btvs#buffy thoughts#buffy the vampire slayer#i'm sure I will find typos in this despite proof reading it
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something about how dean so completely parallels buffy summers from btvs like they are two iterations of the same character. i mean, buffy the vampire slayer is an undeniably a big influence on supernatural, even if the show itself wouldnât exactly advertise that fact. you have samâs sacrifice in swan song paralleling buffyâs sacrifice in the gift, the borrowing of a lot of demons and (god help me) lore, the weird amount of buffy actors in the show (sometimes playing vampires, which is hysterical), the campiness and horror. hell, even casâs moment of pure happiness seems like a nod to angelâs moment of pure happiness. (dean and cas did it better though). but the biggest similarity is the way dean parallels buffy. heâs obviously not meant to. heâs supposed to be a gun-slinging, wise-cracking ladies man, but thatâs not what he becomes. honestly thatâs not even what he comes across as in the beginning. buffy and dean are both meant to be heroes, but buffy is the main character of her show, while thatâs supposed to be sam in deanâs. and buffy and sam do share their similarities, particularly in their desire for normality which backfires on them because of their equally weighed desire to help people. but dean is so much more like buffy in so many ways?? like buffy, dean always feels everything is his responsibility (like he says in 7.05, âThereâs always something eating at me. Thatâs who I am. something happens, I feel responsible, all right?â). this is largely in part thanks to j*hn winchester, while buffyâs sense of responsibility comes from the fact that a whole group of old white men have told her sheâs the one girl in all the world who can fight evil. both of them kind of know on some level that this is kind of fucked up and even try attempting to fight back against their imposed duties occasionally. dean says it in 2.20: âYour happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?â which is buffy to a t! that's what buffy is all about! the loneliness and unfairness of having this burden on your shoulders! buffy says this in prophecy girl: âI don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.â but they both always, always go back to do their job. they both always sacrifice their own happiness for others. none of the writers would have intended to have dean make a speech that is entirely parallel to buffy summersâs prophecy girl speech, right down to both sarah michelle gellar and jacklesâs tears. because ha ha, buffy is a girl hero, while dean is the embodiment of every male fantasy about what an action hero is.
the thing is, though, when you make dean every male fantasy in the world - attractive, good with women, tough, strong, likes rock music, hates chick flick moments, knows how to shoot a gun, looks good doing it, etc - you make him every male fantasy about women too. which is how we get those slow, full-body shots of dean that you normally only get with women, how we get dean being a caretaker, dean being a pacifier between sam and john, dean watching dirty dancing and liking taylor swift, dean always being the bait, deanâs interactions with villains being framed sexually, dean getting called pretty twice a season. we joke about dean being a hot action girl but he is often objectified in the particular way only women in media are. the way buffy is - in the show i think they actually did a pretty good job of not objectifying buffy. but there are times where they do, and itâs uncomfortable, and itâs subtle, the way it is on spn. and buffy and dean are both used to this kind of treatment; they often weaponize their sexuality, using it when they feel threatened. in the first episode of s2, buffyâs just suffered the enormous trauma of being resurrected after having been bitten by a vampire whose violence has sexual undertones. when she comes back to her friends, they talk about how closed off and mean sheâs being, culminating in the scene where she goes to the bronze. if you haven't seen that scene then i dont know how to explain the way she absolutely uses her sexuality against xander and angel, just like dean uses his as a front to protect himself against everyone. when buffyâs traumatized she pushes herself away from those closest to her, represses her emotions, and uses fighting demons as a distraction. sound familiar? buffy and dean both make witty pop culture references that monsters donât understand and self-deprecating jokes about themselves to deal with when they feel threatened and their low opinions of themselves. buffy has a lot of lines that sound just like deanâs! @lazarusr1sing mentioned buffy saying, âI may be dead, but Iâm still pretty, which is more than I can say for you,â as a line that dean literally could have said and itâs true! theyâre both a fan of quirky banter during fights but theyâre both so messed up when it comes to their opinions of themselves. buffy in 7x07: âI have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. [...] I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. [...] Sometimes I feel...this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.â yeah, thatâs...dean.
and they absolutely dive into self guilt and hatred if something goes wrong, even if itâs not necessarily their fault. faith in 3x15 says to buffy, âIn the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire,â and buffy says, âI am.â the amount of trauma buffy and dean both go through kind of desensitizes them to this idea - dean especially, i think, though thatâs mainly the fault of the sheer amount of writers and episodes supernatural has - but if they get someone killed, they will do absolutely anything to make up for it.
the idea of sympathetic monsters in buffy and supernatural is met with scorn a lot of the time by buffy and dean. for buffy this is a matter of mental self-preservation. her job is to kill demons, and if she lets herself think all demons can be good, then that means she might have been killing sentient beings that could have done good or werenât doing harm, since she was a teenager. she canât let herself think that way so she closes herself off to the possibility of demons being good a lot of the time. we talk about how supernatural majorly drops the ball when it comes to empathizing with the monsters (whereâs that post, you know, the, âsaving people, hunting things, white men with guns decide which is which,â post), but when it comes to dean, part of that is because, like buffy, he doesnât want to face the idea that heâs been killing things that arenât evil since he was a child. heâll make exceptions (cas, crowley, benny, rowena), like buffy makes exceptions (angel, spike, clem, oz, anya), but itâs easier if itâs all black and white. theyâre both strangely attracted to monsters too, though, because part of them feels like they are monsters themselves. like @s4castiel said they have romantic or romantically implied relationships with things theyâre meant to fight - dean with benny, cas, and crowley + buffy with angel, spike, and faith. and monsters change themselves for buffy and deanâs sakes â cas, benny, crowley, angel, spike, all become better for the sake of buffy and dean! like that leviathan in 7.06 who says dean doesnât have relationships he has applications for sainthood!
they hate the idea of being seen as just a killer (dean in 3.10, âDaddy knew what you were. Good soldier and nothing else,â and buffy in 5.22, âGuess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.â) dean says, â[A killer] is not who I am,â to chuck in 15.19, just like buffy says, âA slayer is not a killer,â through the later seasons. spikeâs speech in 5.07 i think, really says it: âDeath is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it, not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day, that final gasp, that look of peace.â their worst fear is that all they can do is hurt other people. theyâve been brought up to think violence is all they can do. but they both are first and foremost protectors, especially when it comes to sam and dawn, whose roles in both shows respectively is to be a reminder of dean and buffyâs humanity.
dawn, who first shows up in season 5 as buffyâs younger sister, is, represents buffyâs most beloved parts of herself, buffyâs humanity. sam is a lot like her in the respect that their destiny was to end the world; theyâre both book-smart too, while buffy and dean act a lot like dumb blondes despite being incredibly intelligent in ways that arenât clear to everyone. (not to go on a tangent but theyâre both really good battle tacticians who make a lot of references to literature and tv shows and can perceive people and monstersâ weaknesses, etc.) dawn is dangerous to the world like sam is dangerous to the world in s2-s5, but buffy will not kill her like dean will not kill sam. you know how in the end 2009 dean realizes just how much 2014 dean has changed when he talks about killing sam as lucifer? sam is deanâs humanity like dawn is buffyâs humanity. they both put their siblings over everything else in the world. they sacrifice things that sam and dawn canât begin to understand because dean and buffy shield them from it - dean in 2.22: âI had to take care of you. Itâs my job,â and buffy in 6.14: âDawn, the most important job that I have is looking out for you.â in s5 of buffy, if dawn lives, the world ends, and buffy doesnât care because she canât kill dawn. in 5.22 she says, âI don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that...I just wish my mom was here. [..] If Dawn dies, Iâm done with it. Iâm quitting,â paralleling dean quitting hunting after sam dies. theyâre both insanely protective over dawn and sam - dean in 2.09: âYou make a move on [Sam], you'll be dead before you hit the ground,â and buffy in 5.22: âIâll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.â when sam dies in 2.22, dean doesnât hesitate to offer up his soul in exchange for samâs life; when dawn is about to die to save the world in 5.22, buffy doesnât hesitate to die to save the world in dawnâs place. this all on top of the fact that sam and dawn are the babies, the ones dean and buffy have to take care of, which means that...no one is taking care of dean and buffy. like, dean in 3.10: âSam, [John] doted on. Sam he loved,â and buffyâs mom in 5.05 hugging dawn and calling her âlittle punkin bellyâ and in response to buffyâs question of, âDid you ever have any names for me?â says, âNo, I think you were always just Buffy.â when buffyâs mom gets sick in s5, buffy has to shoulder an incredible amount of responsibility - giving her mom her medicine, taking care of her, taking care of dawn, fighting a hellgod - and canât break down in front of anyone because she has to be strong for dawn and her mom, the way dean has to be strong for sam and john (john in 2.01: âYou took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.) theyâre both so scared of opening up and being a burden - buffyâs nightmare hallucination of her deadbeat dad in 1.10 says the same kind of stuff about her being a burden and unwanted that zachariahâs projection of mary says in 5.16. it really is about the eldest sister complex in the end!!!
but they didnât ever really mean to have dean be like buffy! buffy was literally meant to subvert traditional male action heroes. buffy summers is the male action hero, but she gets to have feelings and traditionally feminine traits too. she likes cheese and wearing pink and dressing up and having pretty hair, but she thinks about battle tactics and kills a vampire like every episode. dean? dean is meant to be the male action hero without the part about having feelings and traditionally feminine traits...except that backfires spectacularly. i mean, they give dean traits such as liking nightgowns to be like haha, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, isnât that HILARIOUS. except it doesnât come off that way, we know it doesnât come off that way. so deanâs watched dead poets society and rent and he sings along to air supply and is good with kids and nerds out over cowboys, but he drives a classic muscle car and kills death and carries a gun with him everywhere he goes. dean and buffy both become multifaceted, complicated, human heroes â but it was intentional for buffy. it was unintentional for dean, so the narrative actively punishes him for it. i mean ymmv on how you feel about the ending of buffy, but she does get a satisfying happy ending. dean, on the other hand, is silenced and killed off and gets the worst possible ending for his character, all because they couldnât control him.
#this is not coherent at ALL im so sorry#but#*blows a kiss* for all my dean girls in love with buffy!#supernatural#buffy the vampire slayer#mine#buffynatural
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Who Saved The Day? Season 5
It's been a long time but I am back with the fifth installment of Who Saved The Day? I'll be looking at every episode of buffy the vampire slayer to see who saved the day the most and in what ways. we're heading into the darkest and most complex end of the series and the number two spot is still very much up for grabs. it's getting harder and harder with time to tell who wins the point in each individual episode, and I don't think it's gonna get any easier from here friends.
At the end of season four we left it at:
Buffy: 43
Angel: 5
Giles: 5
Willow: 4
Anya: 2
Faith: 2
Oz: 2
Xander: 2
Other people who only got 1 each: 8
So season 5:
1. Buffy Vs Dracula: Buffy
Nice and straightforward. You kill Dracula twice, you get a point.
2. Real Me: Buffy
Buffy saves Dawn. Good work.
3. The Replacement: Willow
Buffy did avert the violence and stop the two Xanders from escalating things to a nasty place, so I'll hear arguments for that, but Willow actually fixed the situation and put the two Xanders back so I think she was the one who saved the day.
4. Out Of My Mind: Buffy
I really went back and forth on whether it was Buffy or the doctor here. The doctor actually solved the thing that was wrong so a big part of me thinks it was the doctor who did the procedure on Riley, but Buffy won the fight and dealt with Spike and Harmony so.... Buffy.
5. No Place Like Home: Buffy
Another 'nobody won' episode really. I don't know how to choose someone who saved the day here when... the day ended pretty badly. It was either the Monk for giving Buffy the info about Dawn before he died, or Buffy for getting herself and the Monk out of the magic box. I couldn't decide but thought that saving lives had to count as saving the day right?
6. Family: Buffy
My heart aches when I think about Family, seriously. I considered giving the point to Spike because he solved the demon thing, which exposed the Maclays and put the whole business to rest, but Buffy saying she wasn't going to let Tara be taken was more of a 'saving the day' action I think?
7. Fool For Love: Spike
I'm not certain who the day was really saved from here. Yes Riley killed some vampires but I don't think they were the main threat so killing them was more of a fun side project for Riley. I don't think we can really say Spike was the villain? At least for most of the episode. Putting this episode in its big existential context I think by giving Buffy the stories of the two past slayers and his actually fairly true (and useful for the rest of the season) insight into the slayers we can make a solid case for Spike saving the day. Am I biased in his favour? Absolutely, but it's my list! Spike's first point!
8. Shadow: Buffy
Buffy dealt with the snake and with so many other things.
9. Listening To Fear: Buffy
Dawn very much did save Joyce the first time, so there's an argument that she saved the day, but Buffy actually stabbed the thing. So Buffy.
10. Into The Woods: Buffy
Buffy (?) She certainly killed some vampires.
11. Triangle: Willow
Buffy does a lot of pummelling but Willow sends the troll away, which I would call solving the problem at its root.
12. Checkpoint: Buffy
Good speech babe, and well done for getting Giles his retroactive pay checks.
13. Blood Ties: Willow
I'm giving it to Willow and Tara here because they did the spell that transported Glory, and while Buffy's speech to Dawn was far more emotionally significant, the spell was what actually helped. I really want to give Tara a point - my beautiful girl who awoke so much of my soul deserves more than one - but Willow passing out from doing the spell implies to me that she was contributing more magical energy. If you can convince me in the replies that Tara deserves this point I will very, very gladly transfer it to her.
14. Crush: Spike (?)
I'm not happy about this one either. Much though I love him. But we've had episodes before where the person who causes the problem solves the problem and I've been strict with myself in the past about the person who saves the day only ever getting to be the person who actually does the one action that removes the biggest immediate danger. That danger was Drusilla and Spike got her off Buffy sooooooooo maybe I picked stupid rules.
15. I Was Made To Love You: Buffy
Out of every single episode of this show, this is the one where the day is the least saved. It's impossible to look at the ending of this episode and think of anything being okay. But Buffy stops April hurting anyone so, I guess.
16. The Body: Buffy
I'm a huge fan of the fact there was a vampire in this episode, keeping an element of the supernatural in the least supernatural episode this show ever did. It's one of the best decisions this script made to have a single, newborn, not very powerful vampire become a meaningful threat again in a way it hasn't been since very early season one, because the audience really believes that buffy could have been vulnerable to this when she's knocked sideways by grief and it feels menacing in a way that enormous tentacle demons never do. if we define this vampire as the threat in this episode, which it isn't really but it's the closest we've got, then it's buffy again.
17. Forever: Dawn
Dawn's first point. Go dawn, a heart-wrenching first point in a truly harrowing episode. Another example of the person who caused the problem solving the problem but we must be consistent here.
18. Intervention: Spike
This one hurts my heart. Spike's first uncontroversial point, I'd say.
19. Tough Love: Tara
I was originally going to give this point to Willow for getting her and Buffy out of the fight with Glory at the end, but I decided the bigger threat in this episode was Glory offering Tara the bargain where she could give the key up in exchange for her own safety. Tara making such a simple clear moral choice, even when she's terrified, even when she knows Glory could do anything for her, and she isn't even in a good place with Willow, is the bravest thing in this episode and no one else can possibly deserve this point.
20. Spiral: Ben
Not a good episode for day-saving. Ben did a lot more harm than good here but he got Giles' wound stabilised and no one else... saved the day. I'm not really happy about this one so please argue with me.
21. The Weight of the World: Willow
One of my favourite non-combat savings of the day. Willow going into Buffy's mind and convincing her to keep trying to save the world is one of the most interesting and significant day-savings Willow gets in one of my favourite episodes for Willow and Buffy's relationship.
22. The Gift: Buffy
There just aren't any arguments here. She saved the world. A lot.
So at the end of season five we're still very heavily biased in favour of Buffy saving the day, which I don't think is ever likely to go away, but getting more and more episodes where it isn't her with time. New appearances for a lot of the scoobies here and spike is climbing the ranks fast.
At the end of season 5 we are at:
Buffy: 54
Willow: 7
Angel and Giles: 5
Spike: 3
Anya, Faith, Oz, Tara, Xander: 2
And 9 characters including Dawn who have 1 each
Season 6 is my favourite season and also the bleakest, darkest and strangest so I am excited to see what happens to the leaderboard there.
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if itâs not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!
its never too late! thankyou for the ask 𼰠oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long đ
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spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!
12. Top 5 ships
5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?
4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!
3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd
2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that
1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 𼺠the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s
12. Top 5 episodes
this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go
5. 6x22 âgraveâ- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]
4. 3x12 âhelplessâ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]
3. 4x22 ârestlessâ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones đđ but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]
2. 1x12 âThe Prophecy Girlâ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, đđźđđźđđźđđź i bow to this episode
1. 2x17 âpassionâ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just đđđ also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as âevil angelâ and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain
sorry this is so long lmao, last question!
17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?
i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because weâre so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont
adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!
#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#why did i write a paragraph for everything im so sorry#i wish i knew how to add a read more link but i dont on mobile#my post#dawn fans please dont murder me#i dont hate her i just dont like her yanno#i am scared people are gonna hate me for not liking her but we all have our tastes
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Twisted Tristanâs Tormented Christmas
Fandoms: Buffy the vampire slayer, Angel, Buffy Dark Horse comics, Buffyverse and A Christmas Carol.
Warnings: I do not own the rights to the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off series Angel, its dark horse comics continuation series, or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon and others in the Buffyverse.
15 years +, Mild to Strong Violence, Sexual References. F/F, F/M, M/M, Other +

âHave yourself a merry littleâŚâ The voice on the television began to sing with a campy Christmas cheer before the song was abruptly ended by Tristan switching off the television in the living room of the apartment, he shared with Faith above their bar Rogueâs. âChristmas is cancelled this year; we are drinking straight through to New Yearâs.â A drunken Tristan declared, while wearing just a pair of tight white boxer briefs as he held a half empty bottle of whisky in his hands, before crashing on to the nearby couch. This year had been especially difficult for Tristan Summers, who had went from being a vampire who was possessed by a demon, to being killed, only to come back to life and find himself sucked into a twisted dimension where he and his parents Buffy and Angel worked together to kill the shadow demon that had once possessed him. Being back from the dead should have been reason enough for Tristan to celebrate Christmas, however, despite many pleas from both of his infamous parents he continued to decline, even going as far as convincing Faith to head to Los Angels for Christmas so he would not have anybody to remind him come the day. The earliest Christmases that Tristan could remember with his adoptive parents seemed like a perfect Christmas looking back which were probably heavily influenced by nostalgia and how much he missed them. Heck, even his Christmases spent with vampires Dante and Drusilla were fun for him, of course they were all crazy and thereâd usually be humans on the table instead of turkey but it still felt like a family holiday, a deeply disturbed family, but family nonetheless and after so many losses, heartbreaks, and betrayals, Tristan was done with it all, especially Christmas. After everything him, Buffy, and Angel had gone through to get to a place where their relationship was somewhat healthy, or at least healthier than Tristan trying to kill his biological parents, he did feel guilty for rejecting both of their invitations but he just did not feel ready to open himself up to another form of family, especially not on Christmas Day.
As the hours passed, Tristan waited until his bottle of whisky was completely empty before passing out drunk on the couch where he sat but sleep was not something he would get much of on the night of December 22nd as he suddenly found himself being awakened by his old high school friend Mandi Jenkins, startling him to his core, considering Mandi was killed by Drusilla not too long ago. âMandi,â Tristan mumbled as he rubbed his eyes, unable to believe what stood before him. âHow is this possible? Your deadâŚI saw your body myself after Dru killed you.â âI believe the correct answer would be itâs the magic of Christmas, believe it or not that kind of thing really does exist but to be fair in a world filled with vampires, witches, slayers and sons of slayers is it really that far of a stretch that Christmas really is that special after all.â Mandi replied to her old friend. âClearly, I am dreaming once again.â Tristan realized, as he stood up from his couch. âThereâs only so many twisted dream scenarios one unhinged slayer can handle before he becomes completely and utterly tormented likeâŚâ âDrusillaâŚyou were going to say Drusilla, right?â Mandi interrupted the slayerâs son, instantly noticing his guilt over mention the name of her killer to her so casually. âItâs okay Drusilla killed me, biggest surprise was it was not you who killed meâŚand I use the term loosely considering I am not actually Mandi.â âAre you the first? Please tell me youâre the first and not the shadow demon because I am getting sick of going up against the shadow demon.â Tristan complained. âI am the ghost of Christmas past.â Mandi revealed to him, only to be met by laughs of disbelief from Tristan. âAre we really doing this?â Tristan asked in between laughs.
Exactly one blink later and before his very eyes he was now standing next to Mandi on the snow covered grass of his family home in Riverborn looking into the dining room window to see his adoptive parents playing games, talking and laughing with each other and a six year old version of himself. âThey loved Christmas so much, my dad used to dress up as Santa, I guess like most dads did but he really committed to the role either that or I was a really dumb kid because I was shocked when I found it was him.â Tristan admitted to Mandi, with tears in his eyes as he watched a beautiful Christmas memory before his very eyes. âDo you remember how our parents used to meet up on Christmas night and it would be like this big mash up of Christmas? And how you used to spend New Yearâs with me every year?â âI know I look like Mandi, but I am not actually her remember,â The ghost of Christmas past reminded him. âI can see why Christmas is so difficult when it serves as a reminder of all youâve lost but not all of which you have lost is badâŚâ âWhat does that mean?â Tristan wondered, before realizing. âDante and DrusillaâŚI loved them like family too and the whole time they were the ones who killed my real family, first my parents, then you, well MandiâŚâ âI know how much Mandi Jenkins meant to you which is why I chose to take this form and I know the guilt you feel for not only her death but your parentsâ too but all of that was out of your control.â Mandi of Christmas past explained to the son of the slayer. âMaybe notâŚbut killing Mandiâs boyfriend was definitely all me, killing all those slayers, and all those innocents, that is all on me without any excuses and that is something I can never make up for.â Tristan admitted, never forgetting the horrors he had committed with his own hands. âI could feed you the line and play the role of a person endorsing your shit by saying you were manipulated by two vampires, one whom you were in love with, but the truth is you chose that path and you killed all of those innocents and that is something you should have to live with for the rest of your life without a doubt!â Mandi made clear to Tristan. âHowever, that does not mean you should resign yourself to the shadows, if you truly want to redeem yourself and be the better person then you need to learn the true differences between the past you, your present and what your future may look like.â
It was December 23rd the eve before Christmas eve and Tristan had all but regulated his experiences the night before as nothing more than a drunken dream as he pulled himself together, showered, washed, and put on some clothes before opening up his and Faithâs bar Rogues which they opened during the day despite the fact most of their customers couldnât step out in the day, however, one particularly loyal customer only showed up during the day, Miss Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins, a former vengeance demon from an alternate world who had found herself annoyingly human and in New York City. âSo, you spend a thousand years give or take with the best gig a girl can ask forâŚminus all the bloody bunnies and then boom some shadow demon gives you an offer you cannot refuse although in hindsight I probably should haveâŚâ A drunk Anya Jenkins slurred while drinking her bottle of beer, sat on a stool, at the bar counter, within Rogues bar, which was empty barring her and her bartender Tristan Summers, who stood behind the counter, looking far from amused by his company. âOnly to be beat by two humans and the worst part of it all is not only does the world suck a lot more than I hoped for but this worldâs version of my boss tells me I have no choice but to stay human because this worldâs me was given too many chancesâŚâ âYou have told me this story every time you come in here in the afternoon, always drunk before the sunsets, forcing me to get you a taxi so you do not wind up some vampâs dinnerâŚâ Tristan complained to her. âYou need to get over it already and find yourself some kind of life you do not totally hate living.â âOh, I am very sorry if my lifeâs problems bore you!â Anya said with great sarcasm. âIt was you lot who did this to meâŚitâs only fair you have to wallow in my misery with me.â âHey, do not get uppity with me because you were bested by a broken key and a halfwit.â Tristan mocked the former vengeance demon, and by doing so also mocked Dawn and her boyfriend Xander. âYou are almost as bad as Sid for the complaining, but the guy is a freaking puppet who cannot drinkâŚreal problems, unlike yours!â âRemind me again why I keep choosing to come back here to a bar which service is severely lacking?â Anya asked, while digging at Tristan at the same time. âBecause this is the only place stupid enough to let you have a tab!â Tristan replied. âWhich was definitely more Faithâs idea than mine considering I know for a fact you are never going to find a way of paying us back nor do you want to look.â âYou make an excellent point,â Anya responded before finishing her beer and placing the empty bottle onto the bar counter. âWhere is your fellow slayer anyway?â âSpending Christmas in Los Angeles with everyone including the two humans who brought you down to your knees.â Tristan informed her, all too happily. âIf I knew you were this much fun during the holidays I would have told her to take you with them although considering youâre an alternate world version of the girl Xander almost married I do not think Dawn would be too happyâŚsaying that I am not too sure if I care about her not being happy.â âSo, you turned down being somewhere for Christmas so you could serve me alcohol all through the holiday and yet Iâm the one who needs to get a life?â Anya said blatantly, as she stood up from the barstool and began walking towards the bar door, ready to leave Tristan alone to think about her latest insult.
Later that very same night after he was finished closing up Rogues, the only male slayer Tristan went straight to bed, avoiding any drinks in an attempt to avoid further dreams about Christmas past, but alas the ghost of Christmas past and had come and gone and it was now time for the ghost of Christmas present and who better to represent it than Drusilla, a vampire that Tristan had a lot of history with, history which continued to troubled him right up to this very day, and possibly in the future too. âMy boy still looks like an angel when he sleeps but the things, heâs done makes his daddy angel weep and weep.â Drusilla tormented Tristan, as the male slayer awoke from his sleep to find her stood above his bed within his bedroom. âConsidering you were not invited into this home this has got to be another dream,â Tristan reassured himself, as he climbed out of bed and stood up on the floor, ready to face the vampire who made him into the monster he once was. âSo, are we still on the theme of Christmas or is this just another dream with you in it?â âYes, I do seem to haunt your dreams on the regularâŚtell me what is worse for you? The dreams in which I am killing everybody you loved which serve more like flashbacks than dreams, or is it the dreams in which youâre happy, weâre happy, Dante, and Mandi too?â Drusilla, the ghost of Christmas present, questioned the man who once loved her like a mother, knowing the turmoil her mere presence caused him. âI cannot believe I am saying this,â Tristan admitted to both himself and the ghost of Christmas present, eager to avoid anymore talk of his troubling past. âPlease tell me this is another Christmas dreamâŚâ âYes,â Drusilla said after a sinister cackle, the Christmas ghost playing their part of the deranged vampire a little to well, before the two found themselves standing outside the front doors of the Hyperion Hotel, within the garden, looking through the front doors to see Tristanâs father Angel reluctantly decorating a large tree within the reception area of the hotel, under close super vision by the all-powerful witch Willow. âHate to break it to you Dru but if this is what you have to show me then your seriously lacking in the sinister department these daysâŚor this Christmas ghost version of you is way too much Christmas and not enough Halloween.â Tristan scorned Drusilla, as he continued to watch his father Angel decorate a tree with Willow, looking further to find Faith and Spike knocking back drinks at the counter of the reception area, while behind the reception area Giles, his motherâs watcher, was heavy into what looked like a game of scrabble with Dawn and Xander, the watcher looking justifiably frustrated by what Tristan assumed was the others lack of verbal intellect in comparison to Giles. As Tristan continued to search through the festive scenery before his very eyes, taking Drusillaâs silence as a hint to continue examining what lay before him, after a few more moments he found his mother Buffy Summers sat on the stairs playing dolls with her six year old niece, and his cousin, Joyce Harris, and for some reason that he did not want to admit to himself he began to feel a gut in his stomach, jealous not of Joyce or her child play, but broken by the sign of Buffy being motherly to a child, a child that was not him, a child that would never be him. âYou are right in thinking she will never be like that with you, for you a neither a child, or remotely innocentâŚthe days of that ever being likely for you are well and truly over.â Drusilla told him. âYou are never too old to be somebodyâs son but are you too far gone to allow anyone to love you like that?â âAnd what the hell is that supposed to mean?â Tristan questioned the vampire, confused by her often-cryptic ways of putting a sentence together. But before the son of the slayer could get any answers from the ghost of Christmas present he found himself waking back up in his bed in his bedroom, only this time there was no sign of Drusilla to be found.
It was now December 24th, officially the eve before Christmas, and it felt to Tristan like this particular Christmas was on steroids, as Christmases tended to feel like during times people were far from feeling the festive spirit, and it seemed to Mr. Summers that he could not turn on a television, stream a song, or listen to the radio, without the message of Christmas being shoved down his throat, but as he opened up his bar for another day to night shift, he began to look forward to the distraction of Anya Jenkins, knowing she would be the last person to feel the festive cheer, or at least that is what he thought. As Anya strolled into Rogueâs dressed as a literal elf, holding a hot, sexy, and barely dressed, male Santa in her arms looking happier than she had ever looked before, Tristan could not believe his eyes, believing instantly some sinister magic was to blame for this ungodly sight before him. âI thought you hated elves why the hell are you dressed up like one?â Tristan asked Anya, as she sat down at the bar with her festive suitor. âItâs bunnies, itâs always been bunnies, bloody bunnies!â Anya corrected the male slayer, unnerved by mentioning the creatures she feared the most. âSo, you hate Easter but not Christmas then?â Tristan wondered, before turning to examine the sexy Santa, failing to not notice his amazingly chiseled and seemingly oiled hairless chest. âOr do you just have a kink for SantaâsâŚwhich judging by this one makes a whole lot of sense.â âI like money, and lots of it, and I got myself as an elf at some shopping mallâŚcan you believe shopping malls are still a thing on this world? In my world we enslaved all designers forcing them to make their designs exclusive to us which definitely wound up backfiring when they started stitching terribly and we got all angry and killed them all.â Anya revealed to Tristan, with a sense of fondness. âNow those were the daysâŚâ âDid you just say this worldâŚas in youâre from another planet or something? Because that is super cool, everyone meets vampires and demons these days, but I never hear stories about aliens.â A clearly confused sexy Santa asked Anya, all too excited by the potential of her being an alien. âI knew by Xander that dumb was your type but at least this oneâs hot.â Tristan told Anya, mocking both Xander and the sexy Santa without care. âWell aliens are from another planet and I am from another universe so yes, Iâm technically an alien to this world anyways.â Anya replied to Tristan, before going on to say. âAlso, I am not the Anya who almost married that lump I am the Anya that has only had the misfortune to meet him once.â âSo, Santa what do you want to drink?â Tristan asked the man, eager to change from the topic of aliens. âOh, I do not drink, I respect what goes into my body.â The sexy Santa, instantly losing all appeal to both Anya and Tristan within that one instant. âIâm cool with the whole not drinking thing but respecting your body? Is that really a thing when there is literally a fast-food joint on every corner? I mean I am all for self-love and stuff but keep your greens and I will keep my fats.â Tristan responded to the man dressed as Santa. âTristan your bitterness over no Christmas date is starting to show, maybe you should hitch a ride to L.A. before itâs too late and spend Christmas with that god-awful family of yours.â Anya suggested to the male slayer. âIâd gladly tend to the bar for youâŚif Iâm payed Christmas wages of course.â âNo thank you,â Tristan scoffed, not willing to trust Anya, nor willing to go anywhere, especially not on Christmas. âI mean I know this place is just a dive bar and everything, but I would not trust you to take care of my stakes never mind my bar, and everythingâs a stake if itâs wooden and you get creativeâŚâ
After spending his day shift watching Anya making out with the sexy Santa she brought to Rogues, and the night shift serving demon after demon, creature after creature, and the odd human who were very odd indeed, Tristan shut down the bar for another night before putting himself to bed once again, falling into a deep sleep, hoping the future was further away than what it would beâŚas before long he found himself awakening on the cold hard ground of his own grave. âWell this is definitely a little too much melancholy for even meâŚâ He mumbled to himself as he stood up from the ground and walked off his grave, looking around the San Francisco cemetery, confused by how he got there. âDown here big guy!â Sid instructed the slayer, forcing Tristan to look below to find the living puppet stood in front of him. âIn case youâve not quite caught up on all of this, yet I am your ghost of Christmas future.â âI figured that much but why take to me to where Buffy buried me before the whole coming back to life via some powers that be meddling?â Tristan replied to the puppet man, made of wood. âWell where else were they going to stick your lifeless body the next time around?â Sid answered him. âThey never got round to getting rid of the grave, not that they needed too considering you wound up back in it before long.â âWhat did I die of a severe lack of Christmas cheer?â Tristan joked, unaffected so far by this spiritual visit. âOr maybe a vampire staked me with a candy cane, the amount Iâve staked seems kind of poetic actuallyâŚâ âNope, after you went back to the bad way of life much to no-oneâs surprise your mum Buffy stepped up and killed youâŚif memory serves right you were stabbed to death with way too many wounds for it not to be a littleâŚyou knowâŚfun for her.â Sid revealed to the slayer. âBut after all the work they put in saving you just for you to go back to being a bastard who would blame herâŚâ âSo, I go back evil? I wouldnât do thatâŚnot after everythingâŚâ Tristan dismissed his claims, all while fearing Sid was telling the truth. âYep, thatâs what you thought too but after continuously pushing away the parents, then Faith, and even Anya got sick of youâŚwell after all that you had nobody and before long you were back budding it up with Drusilla acting as if you did not know she and Dante killed your parentsâŚor maybe you just really did not care anymore.â Sid continued to explain to a stunned Tristan. âI mean how are you supposed to be human when you havenât bonded with any since you started playing with monsters.â âThatâs not true!â Tristan snapped at the ghost of Christmas future. âI care about Faith she has never given up on me, and I care about Buffy and Angel, I mean sure the parents thing is a little complicated but I do care about themâŚand I cared about Mandi, Lucas, and the parents that raised me.â âIf you really care about all these people, the ones who arenât dead yet then why are you treating them like they are already gone?â Sid asked Tristan, already knowing the slayerâs answer. âBecause you fear one day you might end up caring too much and losing them which will happen as nobody lives forever, thing isâŚif you donât care, lose, get hurt, and let your heart break, then youâre not really human as much as it sucks, we got to feel the bad as well as the good because nothing is more dangerous than becoming numb to it all.â Tristan wanted to argue back with the man trapped within the dummy, wanting to prove him wrong, but Sidâs words were wiser than Tristan would like to admit, and even if he was not a fan of Christmas itself he was certainly a fan of those who did care about it, those who wanted to spend it with him and before long he started to realize that he had made a huge mistake by trying to skip ChristmasâŚ.
As Tristan woke up in his bed within his room on Christmas Day, he was immediately met with guilt as he realized he had missed out on a chance to bond with his friends, his family, and potential loved ones. He was not suddenly a fan of Christmas itself, that would take some time, but he began to remember its message and how important it was for people, how important it once was for him, and as he climbed out of his bed, rising onto his feet, and walked over to his window to see the back alleyway, in between his building and several others, was covered in snow, as snow continued to fall from the sky, and for a moment, just a moment, he even considered opening that window and yelling Merry Christmas. Instead, he chose to get changed and then call up those who would answer to him, so he could wish them a Merry Christmas and admit to his regrets of not being with them on this special occasion but after he had got changed, and walked into the living room of his apartment, he quickly realized he had no calls to make as his living room was decked to the halls with Christmas decorations, including a fully decorated tree, as his mother Buffy Summers, his father Angel, his aunt Dawn, her man Xander, and their daughter Joyce, stood beside his friend Faith, the vampire Spike, his motherâs best friend Willow and the retired watcher GilesâŚall of them ready to spend Christmas with him whether he wanted to or notâŚbut luckily for him he was more than ready to celebrate Christmas with them all.
Have a truly twisted Christmas that only torments you in the more joyous ways and a happy new year, a year which will hopefully be less chaotic than 2020, keep slaying slayerettes.

#Buffy The Vampire Slayer#btvs#buffy#buffyverse#angeltheseries#buffyfandom#angelfandom#buffydarkhorsecomics#fanfiction#fanfic#buffyfanfic#angelfanfiction#christmas fanfiction#christmasfanficspecial#buffychristmasfanfic#angelchristmasfanfic#gayfanfiction#lgbtfanfic#lgbtthemes#lgbtcharacters#buffychristmas#angelchristmas#buffy summers#angel#faith lehane#spike#willow rosenberg#xander harris#dawn summers#rupert giles
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via Barb's Place MAYOR: Open your present. There. That look on your face is my reward. [The present is a knife with an intricate design.] FAITH: This is a thing of beauty, boss. MAYOR: Well, it cost a pretty penny. So, you just take good care of it. And you be careful not to put somebody's eye out with that thing, until I tell you to. FAITH: Any particular eyes in mind?
~~Choices (Season 3)~~
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
A Conversation with the Fae (Buffy. Xander, T, Devil May Cry xover) by madimpossibledreamer
Crescendo Nocturne (Buffy/Spike, M) by MissLuci
Something is Wrong with Buffy (Buffy, Giles, T) by we_are_who_we_are
Lonesome Whistle, Blow My Blues Away (Xander, Faith, T) by nwhepcat
Not a Fairytale (Buffy/Spike, E) by Unfeathered
Not Just a Game (Buffy, G, Fast & Furious xover) by lateVMlover
Illyria helps (Illyria, Spike, Angel, Willow, G) by Bacner
Imagine: Telling Spike you are bi (Spike/reader, unrated) by randomfandomimagine
The Asgards' New Princess (Cordelia, G, MCU xover) by Buffyworldbuilder (lateVMlover)
Dirty Jokes (Spike/reader) by chubbyreaderchan
The Perfect Moment (Spike/Reader, unrated) by writings-n-stuff
for the world to become good (Buffy/Faith, M) by rootsmachine
A Series of Unfortunate Events (Giles, T) by IBJoyful
Unused Key (Buffy, Dawn, Willow, T, Charmed xover) by btvsforever
[Chaptered Fiction]
Eyes of Gold Ch. 1-2/2 (COMPLETE) (Buffy, unrated, LotR xover) by ElzaCBoe
The Scoobies in a Marvel World 1-7/25 (Ensemble, G, MCU xover) by Buffyworldbuilder (lateVMlover), lateVMlover
Willow Season One Ch. 1 (Ensemble, T) by PleaseNo1985
Darkness Rising Ch. 8 (Buffy, M, Anita Blake xover) by Deesse
Mommy Dearest Ch 2 (BUffy, M, Harry Potter xover) by Deesse
What do you think you are, a Jedi or something? Ch 51 (Buffy/Faith, M, Star Wars xover) by Blackhat
The Meaning of Strength Ch 1 (Xander, T, DCU xover) by AxelBlade
Honeysuckle Ch. 45 (Spike/OC, T) by Mushroom99
Let the Wrong One In CH. 15 (Buffy, Giles, Spike, OC, T) by Cynder2013
More Grimm Tails, Chapter 20-21 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Twinkles
Distant thunder, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Axell
Prisoners of Love, Blue Skies Above, Chapter 22 (Buffy/Spike, E) by bewildered
Tutor, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Holly
Summer's Lease, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Iamblichus
Love & Thunder...& Vampires , Chapter 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, T, MCU xover) by all_choseny
Reconstruction, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by EllieRose101
Eye of Eleos, Chapter 68 (Buffy/Spike, M) by pfeifferpack
Love is a Many Splendored Bitch, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, E) by MissLuci
Sleeping Arrangements, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, T) by ChryshCn
Always Been Bad , Chapter 24 (Buffy/Spike, E) by DarkEternity96
Civilized monster, Chapter 30 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Axell
Divination, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Miss Marisol
It Must Be Tuesday, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Safire
Beneath the Surface, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, E) by The Danish Bird
More Than A Crush, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, M) by all_choseny
These Violent Delights, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Touchstoneaf
Echoes of Beljoxa 1: Plan B (Buffy/Spike, unrated) by myrabeth
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Artwork:BtVS Season 5 () by Cooke8008
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Video: Buffy & Giles | Prepare Me. [Fatherâs Day 2020] () by hostilepoet17
[Reviews & Recaps]
PODCAST: Power Play/Not Fade Away by Once More With Commentary
PODCAST: Go Fish S2 E20 by Buffy and the Art of Story
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PUBLICATION: Rewatching Angel â Episode 75 Long Dayâs Journey by Confusing Middle
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Amazing Buffyverse Storylines by itsnotmymind
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S5 Rewatch Reactions 1 by turdle
Tara in Buffy is one of my favourite characters ever. by winterfellsroses
Buffy not telling Riley she loved him by blackkismet
Quarantine Conversations: Willow and Angel and Modern Decor by stashofmystories
Prior to his fall fron grace did you have any attachment to Whedon's works? by blazehedgehog
Faith and Spike by eldritch--fae
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William Meta by xanderharrisisgay
i feel like there are a lot of bargain bin spikes out there by moistvonlipwig
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essay i donât have enough time to rewatch the high school seasons to write: by impalementation
Conversations with Dead People by Btvs fan
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The Anointed one 's death by spikenbuffy
Angel and Oedipus by Nina
Bringing the Angel cast back to Buffy was it feasible ? by BtVS fan
Reoccuring characters by davect01
Discussion of Charisma Carpenter Interview by Use_Her-Name
Spike s2 and s7 by LilyyZara
Empty Places by lurkernotacreeper
I know it's overstated... by Snifflewinks
Question about the endings of both shows(Spoilers Obviously). by thatguy10095
Dead Things - probably unpopular opinion by figtoria
Wiggiest episodes by _emmxy
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A very refreshing relationship by Why_not_What
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Buffy and Spikes relationship was ruined with sex by The810kid
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Is Amy Willowâs Faith? by purplemackem
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A question Iâve been dying to ask by LilyyZara
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PODCAST: The Complicated Queerness in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by MATT ST. CLAIR
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PODCAST: Charisma Carpenter Interview by Shut Up Evan
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The Fanfiction Reader: Folk Tales for the Digital Age by Francesca Coppa

Read time: 257 Days (Intermittent) Rating: 5/5
The quote:Â But fanworks are like an Etch A Sketch: draw a picture, shake it up, start again with no constraints. Best of all, each story can be complete in itself: tell an entire story, have a real ending. - Francesca Coppa
2nd quote:Â âWhat do you think, Bond?â âI think youâre a damned dangerous woman,â - M and James Bond, Queen of Spades, astolat
The first thing you need to know when looking at The Fanfiction Reader is that it is essentially a textbook. It is an introduction to the world of fandom and fanfiction for those uninitiated and who need to have an understanding. The intended audience is educators, librarians, professionals not the standard end consumer of fanfiction. The language is as one would expect for that audience though more readable than my standard academic text. The layout of the book is fairly basic. There are multiple fandoms included, largely the biggest fandoms of the time, the fandoms defining traits and importance are introduced. The fanfiction that concludes the section is introduced, its selection explained and further readings provided. These fully reproduced fanfics are from different genres of fanfic and the further readings are to direct readers to more on that genre of fic or that fandom. It is a simple yet effective layout.
I am going to list the fics included in the book. They were all good examples of the fic type introduced and while I didn't know all the originals (eg Teen Wolf) it wasn't a massive problem because the fic genre was the focus, not the fic itself. I was reading this for academic purposes, not personal pleasure, I used it in an assignment encouraging engagement in libraries. That said the stories are all high quality that I recommend them to fanfic readers.
The Communications Officerâs Tale and Lunch and Other Obscenities by Rheanna Introduce readers to the Star Trek universe with the fic from the 2009 reboot. It is noted in the book that Star Trek is the origins of modern fanfiction. It includes a look at the way builds up support characters and their worlds. It does discuss the importance of realising that not all cultures are the same.
The FBI Agentâs Tale and The Sad Ballad of Mary Sueâs Blues by Pares. The FBI Agent's of the title are Fox and Moulder, this is the X-Files, the term Mary Sue is introduced. The fic is clever.
The Slayerâs Tale and next by Jennet Smith. An introduction to femslash using the world of Buffy. Pairing Buffy and Faith post series.
The Super Manâs Tale and Three Fairy Tales of Smallville by Koi. An introduction to slash, core to the fandom experience since the dawn of fanfic. This slash occurs in the world of Smallville, Smallville is essentially junior Superman. The slash pairing in question is Lex and Clark.
The Dwarfâs Tale and They Say of the Elves by Brancher. The Dwarf of the title is Gimli, Son of Gloin, the often surly dwarf from The Lord of The Rings, he is paired with Legolas in what is a common pairing, post the recent films. This is filling a gap in what is a canon relationship between the story and their deaths. It is a look at the different types of love that exist in fiction.
The Pop Starâs Tale and The Vacation by Kaneko. Is the chosen example of popslash. It is noted that popslash is common and that the common group at publication point was One Direction. The choice of NSYNC was because of the age of the group and their significance in the popslash genre.
The Spymasterâs Tale and Queen of Spades by astolat. astolat's fic was possibly my fave fic of the lot, and I'm not a Bond fan. The sexual power was fantastic, I loved reading the power dynamic between the traditionally alpha Bond and the gorgeous older M.This is Craig era Bond, the intro is a decent overview over why Craig and Dench's M are so important to the Bond fandom.
The Wizardâs Tales and Never Is a Promise by Yahtzee, Scars by Suitesamba and Once upon a Time by busaikko. The Wizard's Tales has three fics of very different forms. The introduction is a reasonable and brief overview of what is a seriously complex world of fanfic. It does focus on the idea of fans correcting the failings of epilogues. busaikko's fic is impressive, Dudley is made a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in a logical way.
The Companionsâ Tale and The Pond Continuum by kaydee falls. The section introduces 5+1 fics following Amy and Rory after their run-in with the Weeping Angels. It is beautiful such a clever use of characters from the Who universe, not least of all Captain Jack Harkness. Doctor Who is introduced as well as possible for a show with such a complicated concept.
The Detectiveâs Tale and Subliminal by Speranza. The Detective of the title surprising no one is Sherlock Holmes. Subliminal is one of the strangest fics I've read in years. There is a decent overview of Sherlock Holmes as a character and a fandom, including a very basic history of Holmes and Doyle's approach to transformative works.
The Demon Hunterâs Tales and Wolf Manâs Party by Mollyamory and Supernatural, aka The Boys in Arizona and Fanservice Sequel by Glockgal. Wolf Man's Party is the designated cross over fic. I was a little lost because I've never seen Teen Wolf, I know the characters due to a colleague calling her cat Stiles and an ensuing discussion but I don't know much. The cross overs are the focus of the introduction with a small section on race bending. Race bending is addressed by the comics by Glockgal.
The Billionaire Superheroâs Tale and When they finally come to destroy the earth (theyâll have to go through you first) by AlchemyAlice. If you want an introduction to Batman and his history this is the one to read, Bruce Wayne is so misunderstood and his backstory has been manipulated to the point of ridiculousness. It also explains why Robin doesn't exist anymore. AlchemyAlice's fic is adorable. There are effective time jumps. And it is a cross overs done well. Especially a DC, Marvel cross over.
The Stormtrooperâs Tale and The Story of Finn by LullabyKnell. This is an introduction to the Star Wars universe and the importance of women and varied races.
#the fanfiction reader#francesca coppa#fanfiction#book review#fanfic rec#textbooks#ktreviews#read 2018#look i know#i read this for uni#but it is actually good#if nothing else it's good for fic recommendation
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My opinion on the Buffy book "The Wisdom of War."
At first, I wasn't the biggest fan of this one. I feel like starting it with the sea lions having to leave their home in the ocean--and Xander getting hurt (injuring his arm) while surfing by some sea creature in the water, though he didn't get a good look at it--wasn't the best way to start the story (as it was kind of boring). There are two different sea creatures at large in this story, and they're connected and sort of at war with each other (though you don't know that at the beginning).
And the book is trying to convince you that this is one of the scariest things the Scoobies have ever faced... and there's, like, just this dread that everyone's feeling throughout. And at first I wasn't really buying it. But then when the one sea creature would infect anyone it came in contact with, so it would turn into something like it (think zombie sea creature) and then anyone that person came in contact with, I could finally see the threat and kind of got hooked on the book.
This narrative is different, in that you meet this one group that is a rival of the Watchers Council (and has been for many, many years, I guess), because they're against the slaughtering of all things demon, and would rather capture them and talk, to try and see if they can come to peaceful terms. And it turns out that one of the sea creatures really isn't evil. They don't actually attack humans. And the rival from the Council is trying to convince Buffy not to kill them, while the Council of course wants her to--because it'll make the other sea creatures (who are making the zombies and that infection) disappear.
And Faith is in this story (which I definitely appreciated). Travers freed her from prison, when Buffy wouldn't play ball with them, and promised her she could repair her relationship with them and lessen her sentence if she cooperated and stuff. Though eventually, Faith realizes the whole pandemic, so to speak, is the Council's fault. They had an Old One (an Old One sea monster) under their control, and knew that it had this power to infect people or whatever, and wanted to know how it did it. Apparently it told them it had lost the knowledge or lost the knowledge to control it (or something like that). Travers told his underlings to still figure it out from the Old One, anyway, and then things spiraled out of control and all of this book happened (all of this really happened without the majority of the Council knowing what Travers had done: that he had been messing with this Old One at all). And Travers was trying to use Buffy--and then Faith--to get it quickly under wraps, before it got too out of hand and it got back to the Council that he was responsible for it all.
So, yeah. Really good book. Really good and surprising plot. I liked it a lot, once I really got into it.
And Tara is absolutely wonderful and darling here, as usual... There are some really cute Xanya moments... I love some of the political questions we get between the Council and this Order and the decisions Buffy has to make in the end (and Giles' respect for her there)... This moment where Xander was infected and Xander thought Buffy would have to kill him and Xander, worried about her, selflessly said, "Buffy you shouldn't have to slay your friends," was great... And Dawn caring so much about protecting the sea lions was really cute.
Oh! I liked some of the Spike stuff, too. Like his interesting relationship with the queen of the one group of sea creatures (the good ones). And him reluctantly helping Buffy, of course, because this book takes place in season five.
Edit: This is probably obvious, but maybe I should have mentioned that Buffy and the Scoobies find a way to cure the infection without killing the good sea creatures.
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inevitability
read it on ao3!
Faith thinks that all that keeps Buffy in this room with her is the memory of those almost-kisses. The possibility that once, there was almost something beautiful between them.
written for the 2017 buffyverse femslash secret santa for @faithlesbihane!! merry (belated; yikes) christmas, clementine and i hope you enjoy this <3
the prompt i chose: buffy/faith + post chosen angst with a happy ending
Itâs an accident, that first time they share a bed.
Well, it is and it isnât. Hereâs what happens: there are six bedrooms available in the cheap motel they finally stop at. The Potentials (not Potentials anymore, Faith realizes, but she canât stop herself from thinking of them as such) get the first bedroom, Willow and Kennedy get the second, Xander gets the third (they all kind of feel like he deserves some privacy, after Anya), Robin, still recuperating from his injuries, gets the fourth to himself, Giles is sulking because now he has to share a room with Andrew, and that leaves Faith, Dawn and Buffy standing awkwardly in the hotel lobby.
Faith is opening her mouth, ready to say sheâll bunk with the Potentials, because sheâs not sure she can handle the awkwardness that comes with sharing a room with Buffy. But then Dawn says quietly to Buffy, âYou know what, I think Iâm going to bunk with the Potentials. Is that okay?â
Buffy looks a mixture of surprised and panicked. âUmââ
âItâs just, you know,â Dawn hesitates, then says, âIâm feelingâjumpy. Kind of. I want to be in a room with a bunch of people I donât know and not think about the whole town being a giant smoldering crater on the face of the earth.â
âOh,â says Buffy. âOkay.â She doesnât look happy with this, but she doesnât look hurt, either, so Faith figures Buffy kind of gets it. Hell, Faith gets it. Thereâs something really comforting about getting lost in the shuffle, even if the shuffle is just seven girls instead of what was beginning to feel like seventy.
Dawn hugs Buffy, then goes over to comfort Giles about his new roommate, leaving Faith and Buffy sort of standing there. It actually takes Faith a moment to do the mental arithmetic and realize that this means she and Buffy will be sharing a hotel room.
Kinda imagined our first time in bed together would be under different circumstances, B, she thinks, and almost says it; itâs an excellent thing to say, laden with innuendo that might, under other circumstances, have made high school Buffy blush and this Buffy roll her eyes. But the Buffy standing in front of her looks too tired and worn to poke fun at, so Faith bites her tongue and says instead, âSorry about this.â
âWhat?â Buffy looks up, eyes unfocused. âItâsâitâs fine. I think I just need to get some sleep.â Without waiting for a response, she hurries over to Giles, snagging one of the room keys while he and Dawn talk. The conversation sort of looks like itâs become a more painful one; both of them look tired too, and Buffyâs mouth twists as she turns away. âWeâre room 217,â she tells Faith, who follows her without a word.
Room 217 is small, and because this isnât really all that great a place, itâs only got one bed. Faith waits for Buffy to make some kind of awkward objection or offer to sleep on the floor (or maybe ask that Faith sleep on the floor, who knows), but instead, Buffy shuts the door behind her and says, âLook, I justâI donât care, okay, if you care, thatâs fine, but I, I canât right now,â and kicks off her shoes, sort of throwing herself onto the bed. She doesnât look at Faith.
Itâs a bit disconcerting. The Buffy by the crater had smiled, albeit briefly. This Buffy seems exhausted and just about done with everything around her. Faith steps out of her own shoes, shrugs off her jacket, and crosses the room to sit on the other side of the bed. âAnything good on TV?â she asks rhetorically, and starts flipping through the channels.
âI donât know,â says Buffy heavily. Faith wasnât really expecting an answer, but this feels like an okay sign. âTry the news.â
âNah, that shit bums me out.â Faith flips past the news channel (Unprecedented Incident In Sunnydale, proclaims the screen in a broad line of red text under the newscaster) and finds some kidsâ cartoon with creepy little animals. âNot as much as this, though. Yikes.â
She looks over at Buffy, whoâs smiling. Itâs not the same kind of smile as high school Buffy; Faith misses that girl. Faith thinks, sometimes, about what might have happened if sheâd met Buffy before Angel, back before Angel lost his soul and started killing people and made his relationship with Buffy one of those tragic soap opera things that do better on daytime TV than they do in real life. Maybe Faith would have been Buffyâs Angel, a dramatic, lethal first love that ended up killing a bunch of people.
Wouldnât be too far from the truth. Buffy was to Faith as Angel was to Buffy: a messed-up source of light and love.
âI used to watch I Love Lucy with my mom,â Buffy says. Sheâs rolled over onto her stomach, eyes on the television. âAfter school, sometimes. And weâd watch those cheesy black-and-white movies with Dawn and eat lots of popcorn.â
âIâm sorry about Spike,â says Faith suddenly, jerkily. Sheâs not sure how to get that out there, and she wants to get it out of the way.
Buffyâs hand grips the sheet in front of her. She doesnât seem aware of it. âWhat? Oh. Thanks.â She smiles bitterly. Thatâs the kind of smile Faith is used to seeing from Buffy, and it stings a little. âKind of a non sequitur there, Faith, werenât we talking about old movies?â
âI donât watch old movies,â says Faith. âNever had the time when I was a kid, and thenââ She stops herself. âWell. You know. Not a lot of time in prison, either.â
Buffy flinches a little at that.
It was so much easier to define their relationship before Faith went and fucked everything up. Or maybe it wasnât, because Buffy was and is one of the biggest mysteries Faithâs ever had to figure out. Still, at least they were sort of friends that first time around. Now all they have between them is the lingering memory of once caring about each other.
Or, no, thatâs not true. Faith doesnât think anything can stop her from caring about Buffy. Sheâs tried (god, has she tried), but she still remembersâbits and pieces of touches, the way it felt to dance with Buffy in the Bronze. Almost-kisses, nothing beyond that. Pretty apt metaphor for their relationship, actually.
Faith thinks that all that keeps Buffy in this room with her is the memory of those almost-kisses. The possibility that once, there was almost something beautiful between them.
She flips through the channels some more, away from the creepy kidsâ show and into one of those family sitcoms. âIf our life was a TV show,â she says, âwhat channel would we be on?â
âMessed-Up Slayers,â says Buffy. Faith notes the plural with a happy-sad twist. âChannel 54.â
âWhy 54?â
âI donât know,â says Buffy, âwhat channel do you think weâd be on?â
âChannel 69,â says Faith significantly, and she thinks itâs because Buffy wasnât expecting it that her joke gets an actual laugh. âSee? Some definite merits there.â
âYouâre awful,â says Buffy, and gives Faith an actual smile. âOkay. Messed-Up Slayers, Channel 69. God, that sounds like porn, we need a different channel, Faith.â
Faith starts laughing too.
Hours later, theyâve turned out the lights. They donât fit together like puzzle pieces in the motel bed (in the TV version, they probably do, Faith thinks idly, they probably cuddle under the bedsheets and hold each other as the sun goes down), but thatâs kind of okay. Faith lies on her back and stares at the ceiling; Buffy lies on her side and stares at the wall.
âYou still awake?â Faith asks quietly.
Buffy doesnât say anything for so long that Faith figures sheâs fallen asleep. Then, âSpike and I slept together last night.â
âDonât bother with the dirty details, B,â says Faith, trying to make it sound light and not sharp.
âNo, justââ Buffy exhales tiredly. âJust sleeping,â she says. âWe slept. That was it.â
Faith doesnât quite get why Buffy is telling her this. âIâm sorry,â she says again. It feels like the only safe response.
âIâwanted someone to hold me.â Buffy is turned away from Faith, still, but even in the dim light Faith can see the stiff way sheâs now holding herself. âI miss that.â
Faith considers this, wonders if sheâs brave enough to reach out and take Buffyâs hand. Itâs what Buffy wants, possibly, and this could be her way of asking for it, in a roundabout way. But Faith doesnât know if sheâs brave enough to reach out and feel Buffyâs hand pulled sharply, accusingly away. âYouâll find some other guy,â she says.
Buffy is silent, again, and again itâs just when Faith thinks sheâs asleep that she says, âMaybe thatâs not what I want.â
Faith wakes up early. Used to be that she slept in late, but she fell asleep so early last night that sheâs up almost before the sun. She showers, gets all the post-apocalypse crud out of her hair, thinks about Buffy tiredly but guiltlessly. She doesnât have time for that panicked self-hate anymore, not when everyone seems to be grieving all of a sudden.
Dressed in only a towel, Faith slips out and knocks on Giles and Andrewâs door. Giles opens it, looking very much like he would rather be asleep.
âWhat,â he says tiredly.
âGee, thanks,â says Faith sardonically. âLook, youâre usually super good at planning. You have any clean clothes I can borrow?â
Giles mutters something about it being much too early for him to be harassed like this (Faith rolls her eyes) and retreats back into the bedroom. He resurfaces a few seconds later, handing Faith a tote bag. âThereâs something in there,â he says, âprobably, though I expect weâll have to go shopping for more,â and shuts the door in Faithâs face.
When Faith got to Sunnydale for the very first time, Giles hadnât bothered to train her all that often. He said that her Watcher had probably taught her the basics more extensively, seeing as sheâd been under tutelage for longer than Buffy, and she could just work with Buffy on honing her technique.
Faith sometimes wonders if Giles ever considered that maybe a little effort on his part might have gone a long way for her. She doesnât think itâs something that heâs ever going to realize, and she doesnât really care enough about him to be angry at him for that. It was never really him who made her want to stay in Sunnydale, after all.
Coming back into the bedroom, she sees that Buffy is still conked out, so she gets dressed as quietly and quickly as she can in the bathroom before lying back down on top of the bedsheets. Sheâs wearing a shirt that she thinks might be Buffyâs, freshly laundered. Giles always did think ahead when it came to his little girl, she thinks, and feels that old, confusing jealousy rise in her. Itâs not that sheâs ever wanted Gilesâs attentionâobviously notâbut god, sheâs always wanted to be as loved as Buffy.
On the bed, Buffy stirs, makes a strange, plaintive noise and pulls the blankets close around her. She mumbles something, a name that Faith canât make out, a name Faith doesnât think she knows, and opens her eyes all the way.
âB?â says Faith tentatively.
âToo many people die,â is all Buffy says before she gets up and heads to the shower.
For lack of anything better to do, Faith turns on the TV again. Thereâs a rerun of I Love Lucy, and Buffyâs comment from the day before keeps her from changing the channel. Itâs not all that great, and Faithâs lost interest after thirty seconds. Sheâs never been all that big a fan of things with laugh tracks, like theyâre telling you when youâre supposed to think somethingâs funny.
Buffy comes out of the shower in only a towel. Faith looks up and is grateful for the fact that Buffy doesnât know enough about women to know when one is checking her out. She looks away after a few seconds, and Buffy says, âYouâre wearing my shirt.â
âGiles packed some clothes,â said Faith. âHe probably thought ahead for you, but I donât have a lot of stuff, so I borrowed something of yours.â
âNo, thatâs fine, I justââ Buffy exhales softly. âItâs fine,â she says again, and picks up the tote bag, taking it into the bathroom to change. She comes back out in a dark blue sweater, and sits down next to her on the bed. Thereâs about two inches of space between them, but the distance looms wide. âOh, I Love Lucy!â she says, and beams, sunshine-bright. âI didnât know you were listening yesterday.â
âYou seem better,â says Faith tentatively.
âYeah, well, youâd be surprised what a shower can do,â Buffy answers, and scoots a little closer. One inch between them. âYou seemâŚsubdued.â
âSubdued?â Faith echoes, amused.
âI donât knowââ Buffy blushes, looking down. âIn my head, youâre always kicking ass and taking names.â
âWish I lived in your head,â says Faith, smiling easily.
Theyâd been bubbling over with energy, all of them, in that school bus. Faith had been ready to save the world five times over and Giles had been talking about rebuilding the Council and Dawn had had an exhaustedly breathless look in her eyes. There had been death, sure, but this had been one of the biggest victories all of them had ever seen since joining the fight. It had been easy to forget in that moment how hard-won that victory was.
Buffy hugs Dawn, hard, when they all clamber wearily back onto the school bus again. Faith, feeling something of an outlier, sits down in the front of the bus, near enough to Giles for her to ask him, âWhere are we going?â
âI donât know,â says Giles thoughtfully, which is kind of freaky to Faith. The battle feels like itâs turned everything upside-down. Buffyâs vampire boyfriends are no longer in the picture. Giles doesnât know where heâs going and doesnât seem all that bothered by it. Willowâs all cuddly with a Potential in the backseat of the bus, and Xanderâs missing an eye (to be fair, Xander lost the eye before Sunnydale blew up, but itâs still a lot to get used to). âWeâre figuring it out as we go, I expect.â
âWeâre stopping by a mall first, though,â Buffy informs him, âbecause we could use some actual new clothes and blankets and supplies and stuff.â
âFair enough.â Giles starts up the bus.
Faith stares out the window for a while, watching the highway whiz by. Sheâs not sure how to feel. She left prison to help the crew stop Angelus. She left Angelâs team to help Buffy stop the end of the world as they knew it. Where does the extra Slayer go when sheâs not even the extra Slayer anymore?
Itâs selfish, maybe. But Faith never got that feeling Buffy did of being the one-girl-in-all-the-world. Sheâd heard about Buffy Summers before she ever got her Slayer powers, and sheâs become very used to feeling like some kind of commodity. A tool brought out to speed the process along.
Buffy, thoughâBuffy looks at Faith, sometimes, and Faith feels like more than that. Faith doesnât know if she can press that subject, though, because Buffy might be grieving right now in her own closed-off, hidden way.
Buffy is sitting between Dawn and Xander, and it looks like theyâre reminiscing. Xanderâs telling a story about some test he failed in high school or some chick who dumped him or whatever it is that kids who go to high school talk about. Faith wants to feel jealous and angry like she used to. She just feels a sense of tired acceptance.
Someone sits down next to her, and Faith looks up. Kennedy. âHey,â she says, not sure what the kid wants.
Kennedy inclines her head, then says, âMaybe my gaydarâs a little offââ
âOh,â says Willow very loudly from the back of the bus, âgaydar,â and starts grinning a lot for some reason before turning to join Buffy and Xanderâs conversation.
Kennedy rolls her eyes with a small smirk. âAnyway,â she says, âyou should tell her how you feel.â
âNow is so not the time,â says Faith, which has multiple meanings: now isnât the time for her to tell Buffy, now isnât the time for Buffy to find something like that out, now isnât the time for Kennedy to be talking to Faith about this (to be fair, though, thereâs really no time during which Faith would want anyone to talk to her about this).
âDo you think thereâs ever really going to be a time?â Kennedy asks. Itâs mostly a rhetorical question, but itâs clear she thinks Faith should probably have an answer. She doesnât wait for one, choosing instead to get up from her seat next to Faith and walk to the back of the bus again, settling herself on her girlfriendâs lap and distracting a curious Willow with giggly kisses.
Faith notices Buffy watching, expression unreadable. She turns back to the window and tries to figure out what she would tell Buffy, if she was ever going to tell Buffy anything.
Tell her how you feel.
Jokeâs on you, Ken, Faith thinks, I donât know how I feel about a single fucking thing right now.
The seat next to her is once again taken by someone. This time, when Faith turns, itâs Buffy, shrugging awkwardly at Faithâs startled look. âYou looked kinda lonely,â she says, by way of explanation, and smiles a little.
âYou could sit with your friends,â Faith observes.
Buffy exhales. âYeah,â she says. âButââ
Without thinking, Faith says, âIs this because your boy toyâs dead?â
The bus is suddenly, uncomfortably still. Buffyâs lips part, but she doesnât say anything, just stares straight ahead. Faith almost wants to apologize, but canât, because this tentative friendliness feels painfully familiar. Sheâd replaced Angel, once, for a few weeks, before he made his miraculous re-appearance. She doesnât feel like doing that again. Knowing her luck, Spikeâll probably come back from the un-dead again too.
âMaybe,â says Buffy.
Faith hadnât actually been expecting an answer, and is somewhat aware of the fact that literally everyone is now listening in on their conversation (even Giles, though heâs doing an impressively good job of hiding it). âI canât be second best again,â she says, understanding, suddenly, her reticence to feel for Buffy. God, B, weâre falling into the same old pattern again, arenât we?
âTo me?â
âDonât flatter yourself, B,â says Faith. âI canât be second best to someone else whoâs in love with you.â
She says it quietly enough that it isnât audible to anyone but Buffy, which is a pretty impressive feat considering that Andrew is right now watching them with badly-hidden interest. Everything they were angry about so long ago feels like Sunnydale: a smoldering hole in the ground, not long-dead but still dead enough that it canât matter anymore.
Buffy doesnât say anything. Faith canât bring herself to look over and see shock, disgust, rejection, so she trains her eyes on the cars speeding by next to them and wonders how many of them watched the morning news and saw a story about Sunnydaleâs explosion.
She feels a hand rest quietly over hers. Looks over. Buffy is staring straight ahead, mouth trembling as though she might cry. Her hand shakes over Faithâs, but it stays solidly there without hesitation.
Faith understandsâor, maybe. Hopefully. She flips her hand over, entwining her fingers carefully and deliberately with Buffyâs, giving Buffy enough time to pull away. Buffy doesnât. Buffy holds tight, and lets out a breath Faith didnât realize she was holding.
âMessed-Up Slayers,â says Buffy in a small, small voice. âThey could write a rom-com about us, maybe.â
âSlow burn,â says Faith. âGive the blonde time to make sure it doesnât end up being some disaster rebound.â
âYeah,â says Buffy, âyeah,â and rests her head on Faithâs shoulder.
They stop by the mall. Willow drags Kennedy off to make out in the food court, Giles keeps on lingering by a computer store with a wistful-sad expression on his face, Dawn and Xander are actually buying the things everyone came to the mall for in the first place, the Potentials are wandering aimlessly and talking in quiet, sad voices, and Faith and Buffy are walking, hand in hand, not really going anywhere in particular.
âHow long do you think itâll take before youâre not a rebound?â Buffy asks, looking up at Faith.
Faith shrugs. âHow long do you think itâll take for you to love me?â
Buffy turns a little pink and looks down. âYou know, I-Iâm newâto this,â she says haltingly. âOr, not really, I guess, becauseâback whenâI was too busy with Angel, senior year, and that was stupid, becauseâI always thoughtâI wasnât brave enough, butââ
âSpit it out, B,â says Faith, heart pounding.
Buffy still canât look at her. Unsteadily, she says, âI-I kinda fell in love with you, a little, back then.â
The hungry, desperate side of Faith that has always and will always be a tiny little part of her wants to kiss Buffy right then, before Buffy slips away for the seventeenth time and Faith is left as a monster of her own making. The Faith who has learned, and grown, and is stumbling towards redemption, says, âPast tense?â
âPresent,â says Buffy. âI think.â She smiles at her feet. âDidnât really click until Willow came out, and then I started thinking, well, I thought about kissing Faith sometimes in senior year, does that make me gay? And then I read a lot of online articles about bisexuality, and Giles and I had this talk a few years back that was, like, one of the most mortifying experiences ever but also really sweet.â
âLet me guess,â says Faith. âThat guy with the band candy who Giles tried to murder one time was his ex.â
Buffy giggles. âShh,â she says, swatting at Faithâs shoulder, âheâs still sulky about Ethan.â
They walk in silence for a few minutes, but itâs a comfortable kind. It doesnât feel like Faithâs world has been turned upside down or anything; she thinks some part of her might have always known Buffy loved her too. She doesnât think it would have been so easy to love Buffy if Buffy hadnât been able to love her back just as much.
âIâm pretty new to this, too,â Faith observes. âYouâreââ She looks over at Buffy. âShit, B,â she says with an embarrassed laugh, âIâm not all that great at getting mushy-romantic. That okay?â
Buffy nods, and gives Faith a crooked smile. âYouâre right, though,â she says. âI need some time. Justâyouâll wait?â
Faith thinks that sheâs been waiting much longer than Buffy realizes for a moment like this. When youâre a girl whoâs in love with a girl, sometimes all you live on is stolen moments and borrowed hope. The possibility of a someday is so much more than Faith thought she would get. âAs long as it takes,â she says.
Buffy smiles, then laughs softly.
âWhat?â
âJustââ Buffy grins. âFinally,â she says, âsomeone with my lifespan and superhuman strength. We should have done this way sooner.â
Faith grins back. âYouâre a dork,â she says.
Buffy squeezes Faithâs hand, heartbeat-quick, and turns, placing her other hand on Faithâs shoulder. Then she says, âListen, thisâthis isnât gonna be a rebound thing, when it happens. I know that.â
âYeah?â
âYeah.â Buffy smiles. Faith remembers that smileâthe shy, happy little grin that Buffy had always reserved only for her four years ago. âAnd no oneâs going to end up killing anyone, this time around.â
âGlad weâre setting some ground rules here, blondie,â says Faith very seriously. âI was really considering going to town on a few of these mall-goers.â
Buffy bites her lip, then says, âWe donâtâI need time, butâsometimes, with you, I feel like I never have enough of that, soââ Pressing her free hand flat against Faithâs shoulder, she says, âIn caseââ
âThereâs no in case this time around,â says Faith emphatically, and places a hand on Buffyâs cheek. âGot it?â
âThen no in case,â says Buffy, âno time shortage, none of that, not even thinking about any of thatââ
She looks like she wants to ask something but isnât sure how. Faith thinks she knows what Buffy wants, isnât sure how to give it to her, but theyâre interrupted by a giggling Willow and Kennedy stumbling out of a nearby elevator.
âOh, hey, guys!â Willowâs breathless, her cheeks a shade of red that comes quite close to matching her hair. âKennedy and I wereââ
âWe got it,â says Buffy, and suddenly the hesitant vulnerability is replaced by an effortlessly cheerful smile. Faith is kind of impressed. âLetâs go see how everyone else is doing.â
They end up staying at another motel again. There are more rooms free, this time, but some things stay the same. The Potentials still want to all be in the same room, complete with Dawn as company. Xander and Robin still have rooms of their own, and Faith and Buffy stay in a one-bed room on the second floor.
Technically, though, Buffyâs room is on the third floor, right near Xanderâs. But after everyoneâs bunked down for the night, Faith hears a knock on her door.
Buffyâs standing there, eyes quiet and bright. She steps into the room, shutting the door behind her and placing her new wheeled suitcase by the nightstand. âI love you,â she says, quiet and matter-of-fact.
âI love you too,â says Faith, a half-laugh, trying to make it sound like a joke even though it really isnât. Sheâs afraid, suddenly. âWhatâs up?â
Buffy shrugs, a small, jerky motion. Then she says, âThis could be a rebound. That kinda scares me, you know? Youâre so pretty and we wasted so much time and I still miss Spike but I still love you and everything feels so mixed-up and scary and I canâtââ
âHey.â
ââcanât mess this up, canât mess us up, not again, not like last time,â Buffy says in a high, thin voice, âFaith, all of my relationships end in either death or someone leaving town to go hook up with someone else, and I really donât like our odds right now.â
âTo be fair,â says Faith, âyouâve only dated guys.â
Buffy sniffle-laughs. âThatâs not funny,â she says unconvincingly.
âWeâve got time,â Faith reminds her. âWeâre not the two girls in all the world anymore, remember? And Iâm willing to put my death wish on hold if it means I get to make out with you.â
That makes Buffy start laughing and crying at the same time, which makes Faith (unaccustomed to touch) sort of pat Buffy on the shoulder, and then Buffyâs crying into her shoulder about how pretty Faith is and how sad Buffy is and how she doesnât know how sheâs supposed to feel about Spike and how she wishes she and Faith had met before Angel because then maybe her life wouldnât be as much of a mess as it feels like it is right now, and holy shit, Faith didnât realize that she wasnât the only scared one here. âHey,â she says, as soothing as she can, âhey, baby,â there, that feels right, that kind of pet name with that kind of love in her voice, âhey, itâs really going to be okay. All right?â
Buffy looks up, eyes wet, and kisses Faith.
Faith gets a head rush and falls onto the floor. This isnât exactly as graceful as most of her encounters with guys, and sheâs hoping that Buffy will take this secret to the grave. When she pulls away to sit up, Buffyâs laughing really hard. âOh, yeah, super funny,â she says, but sheâs laughing too, âmaybe youâre just a really good kisser, all right?â
âThat was, like, a C+ kiss at best,â Buffy teases her, sniffling. Theyâre sitting, knees touching, in front of the hotel bed. âI donât have my A-game on when Iâm crying about stuff.â
âGod, I canât wait to see your A-game,â Faith breathes, and threads her fingers through Buffyâs hair, pulling Buffy to her. Buffy laughs against Faithâs mouth, and theyâre both laughing and crying and itâs an absolute fucking mess. Technically speaking, itâs probably one of the worst kisses Faith has ever given anyone.
Metaphorically speaking, itâs the best kiss of Faithâs life.
They donât have sex. Mostly itâs because Buffyâs still kinda freaked about Faith being a rebound, and Faith has similar worries, but they do snuggle up under the covers and fight over the remote, Slayer-style (maybe not Slayer-style, unless the other Potentials use kisses as distraction tactics), until theyâre watching an Audrey Hepburn movie, both of them almost asleep.
âI wanted this so much when I was seventeen,â Faith says softly.
She thinks, for a moment, that Buffyâs asleep. Then Buffy says, âMe too.â
#buffy femslash#buffy femslash secret santa#fic#fuffy#faith lehane#buffy summers#angsty girls in love!!!! hope u like it clementine
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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Sunday, February 21st
The Sunnydale Herald is currently looking for a few good editors! Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! For more information, send us an ask (on Tumblr) or post a reply to this post (on Livejournal or Dreamwidth)!
Cordelia: Do you know what Angelus would do if we let him out? Lilah: Kill you all in a bloody shower of violence, but heyâ (puts her hands together as if in prayer) greater good.
~~Calvary~~
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
Let the Silence Find Us (Faith & Buffy, G) by Hecate
Love and Basements (Buffy/Spike, G) by VampireValentine
[Chaptered Fiction]
The Sun Chapter 3 (Tara/Willow, T) by heckate
Deliverance (Ashes to Ashes) Chapter 1 (Drusilla/Spike, M) by Coldest_Fire
Rebirth: A Stargate Tale Chapter 19 (Stargate crossover, Buffy, T) by Buffyworldbuilder
We're as Sick as our Secrets: Where are They Now? Complete (Multiple crossovers, Faith/Buffy, M) by StrangeBint
Little Harmonic Labyrinth Chapter 21 (Star Trek Voyager crossover, Buffy, NR) by Energybeing
Vampire and His Human Child Chapter 2 (Spike, T) by PuellaPulchra
Klaus and the Dark Slayer Chapter 9 (Multiple crossovers, T) by Buffyworldbuilder
De magia memorias Chapter 7 (Ethan/Giles, NR) by Mr_Motley
A New Compadre Chapter 2 (Giles, M) by Ali3ghouse
Different direction taken Chapter 38 (Tara/Faith, M) by Nerdzilla91
Death Is Buffy's Next Big Adventure Chapter 30 (HP crossover, Buffy/Tom Riddle, T) by Sharie1
A Devil in the City of Angels Chapter 10 (Daredevil crossover, Angel, T) by Aragorn_II_Elessar
Things Change Chapter 2 (Spike/Angel, E) by VioletArroyo
Immortal Memory Chapter 35 (Highlander crossover, Buffy, T) by Vidicon666
Hypnopompia Chapter 19 (Faith/Buffy, E) by aliceinwonderbra
What Makes A Monster Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, T) by SleepingTigress
Shadow Over Hellmouth Chapter 7 (Tara & Buffy, T) by Tuxedo_Mark
Learning to Deceive Chapter 38 (HP crossover, Willow/Snape, T) by WeyrWolfen
Lives Changed Forever Complete (Transformers crossover, Faith/Optimus, T) by PrimesSPARROW7773
A Time For Everything Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC17) by Nik84
Pretty Petals Chapter 34 (Buffy/Spike, NC17) by Dusty
UC Sunnyhell Part 1 (Spike/Reader, NR) by prose-for-hire
Variations On A Scene Chapter 57 (Multiple crossovers, Xander, FR15) by Greywizard
Key to the Stars Chapter 46 (Stargate crossover, Dawn, FR13) by Cordyfan
[Images, Audio & Video]
Artwork: vantage point (Faith/Buffy) by angelandfaith (nowrunalong)
Artwork: 3D Spike by sanshodelaine
Artwork: Live Action WLW Couples (Tara/Willow) by phyllidaluna
Artwork: Willow creates a Wandavision-style reality (Tara/Willow) by thisalienartist
[Reviews & Recaps]
Discussion of 7.18 "Dirty Girls" by Stake fodder
PODCAST: S06 E12 Doublemeat Palace by Buffy Virgin
PODCAST: Episode 68 - In the Dark / I Fall to Pieces / Rm w/a Vu (feat. Dale Guffey) by Conversations with Dead People
Unpopular Opinion: I don't like Angel season 5... by kittyflaps
[Recs]
More Links Than A Bag Of Sausages by petzipellepingo
BtVS Fic Recommendations recced by tuoshpreecq
[Community Announcements]
Buffies 2021: The Winners by nightshade
[Fandom Discussions]
The Spike Bike, aka the Motorspikel by GothicBuffy
Favorite Beautiful Religious Symbols by Moggin
Your favourite ship by Nina
alley box's reaction to City of... by Stoney
I love Wesley's character arc in Five by Five/Sanctuary by TypicalPsychology6
What if vampires do age, but really really slowly? by lacicat
Frequency of Vamp Face in Angel Episodes by rednax2009
IMO, season 1 is the best by _courier_
Anyone else not the biggest fan of the Buffy Riley relationship? by kraljicalana
Season 2 Episode 18 Killed by Death by peachK82
What would Joss need to do to make amends and be worthy of redemption? by speashasha
Rewatching and just got to S02E13 "Surprise"... by loki2002
Soul, Soul, Who's Got a Soul? by sigdiff
Nothing deep to say. Just a great promo pic. by sarabeara12345678910
Who are your top most loved and most hated characters in the series and why? by Applejack1996
Coming up with a better reason for Giles to go back to England in Season 6 by OldTension9220
Iâm just a watching Season 7 Episode Seven... by eshopreviewer
The geography of Sunnydale by EffloresceDeliquesce
I have finally gotten the courage to rewatch The Body after years by Koniguen
S7 xander called out by Bookishworm111
Scariest episodes? by Maximum_Arachnid2804
s5 is making me realize how little focus Willow gets in this season by roselightfairy
Thinking about the episode The Initiative by rainandscarves
Angel is one of the best written characters in TV History by victorious-tribute
Joss Whedon revelations by song-of-oots
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As allegations of abuse continue to mount against Joss Whedon, it has become increasingly difficult to keep track of which cast members of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel have made specific allegations of professional misconduct. It is important to make this distinction, as many have stepped forward to voice their emotional support for their co-stars without speaking specifically about any abuse they may have experienced personally.
Once a beloved nerd culture icon, Joss Whedon has fallen far and fallen fast in the past few years. In 2017, Whedon's writing began to face increased scrutiny following the leak of his script for a Wonder Woman movie, which many felt was overly focused on Steve Trevor's heroics and turned Diana Prince into a supporting character in her own movie, as well as descriptive passages that seemed to oversexualize Diana. Similar issues were raised by MCU fans over his script for Avengers: Age of Ultron and the revelation that Black Widow saw herself as a monster because she couldn't have children. Shortly after that, his ex-wife, Kai Cole, wrote a piece regarding his repeated infidelities and accused him of abusing his power on set, explaining that Whedon, who she divorced in 2016, had used their relationship "so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist." Since then, a few actors from his shows have corroborated Cole's accusations and hinted at others, but it's been nothing like the number of actors stepping forward now.
Related: Avengers: Age of Ultron Was Marvel's Biggest Creative Failure
These problematic events fueled the most recent wave of controversy, which came after actor Ray Fisher accused Whedon of unprofessional conduct on the set of Justice League. His accusations first broke in June 2020. Recently, Charisma Carpenter, who played Cordelia Chase on both Buffy and Angel, affirmed her support of Fisher's claims on social media and went on to go into greater detail regarding her own bad experiences working with Joss Whedon. This led to a tsunami of support as other Buffy and Angel alumni surged forward to support Carpenter and offer their accountings.

While most of the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel developed over time, few characters changed as drastically over the course of both series as Charisma Carpenter's character, Cordelia Chase, who appeared in both series. When Carpenter became pregnant during Angel Season 4, her pregnancy and absence were explained by Cordelia becoming possessed by a supernatural being who intended to use Cordelia as a means to bring about her own rebirth. Cordelia later lapsed into a coma and was killed off during Angel Season 5. While there were rumors that Whedon had written Carpenter out of the show because of her pregnancy, Carpenter never went into great detail about any discussions she might have had with Whedon. At a convention in 2009 (via Vanity Fair), she revealed that she had thought he was mad at her for getting pregnant but softened it by saying she could understand his frustration at how "sometimes living your life gets in the way of maybe the creatorâs vision for the future."
Recently, however, Carpenter went into more detail on her Twitter account, confirming that she was questioned as part of the WarnerMedia investigation into Whedon's abusive history. Describing Whedon as "casually cruel," Carpenter recalled how he frequently threatened to fire her, called her fat in front of their co-workers when she was four months pregnant, played favorites, pitted people against one another to compete for his approval, and generally acted in a passive-aggressive manner. She specifically noted that Joss Whedon's on-set abuse also came in the form of him attacking her religious beliefs and berating her over a rosary tattoo she had gotten. Perhaps most shockingly, Whedon reportedly asked her in a closed-door meeting if she intended to keep the baby and, when she confirmed that she was, began scheduling her to shoot her scenes at 1 AM in the morning, despite her doctor's orders that she shorten her workdays and avoid late-night shoots.
Related: Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Actresses Who Almost Played Buffy Summers

The first members of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer production team to come out with detailed accounts of Joss Whedon's abuse were there from the very beginning. Jeff Pruitt served as the series' stunt coordinator for its first four seasons and Sophia Crawford worked as Sarah Michelle Gellar's stunt double during that same period. The two began dating while working on the show and eventually married, but Whedon's abuse and egomania caused both to leave the stunt team after Season 4. Pruitt was the first to declare his departure and Whedon reportedly told Crawford she could stay on as Buffy's stunt double but only if she agreed to stop dating Pruitt. When she refused, Whedon reportedly threatened both Pruitt and Crawford, warning them that "no one will ever hire you again after this." and that he'd ruin their careers. Pruitt also alleged that keyloggers had been placed on his computer and those of a few other employees to track every single email they received (via Metro UK).

Originally introduced as minor villain in Buffy Season 2, Spike went on to become a full member of the ensemble and one of Buffy's love interests thanks to James Masters' charming performance and popularity with the fanbase. This reportedly did not please Whedon, who originally had drastically different plans for the snarky punk vampire. This displeasure manifested in a behind the scenes encounter between Joss Whedon and James Marsters, where, according to Marsters, Whedon "backed me up against a wall one day and he was just like, âI donât care how popular you are, kid, youâre dead. You hear me? Dead. Dead!'" While originally writing this statement off as Whedon being "angry at the situation" rather than at him personally, the actor came to reconsider after learning of the allegations against Whedon.
More recently, Marsters made a statement of support for Whedon's accusers, regarding the accounts of his female co-stars while acknowledging his own ignorance of the abuse they suffered at Whedon's hands. Describing his own time as Spike as "not without challenges," Marsters expressed his dismay over "the experiences of some of the cast." This would seem to confirm reports that Whedon was careful about keeping his harassment of the actresses he directed behind closed doors.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played the lead role of Buffy Summers, has yet to comment specifically on any of the allegations made by her co-stars. However, Gellar did post a statement of support for "all survivors of abuse" on her personal Instagram account, saying that she would not be making any further statements at this time as she was "more focused on raising my family and surviving a pandemic currently." Gellar also said that while she was proud to have her name associated with Buffy Summers, "I don't want to be forever associated with the name Joss Whedon."
Related: Age of Ultron Is Everything Wrong With Joss Whedon Storytelling

Michelle Trachtenberg played Dawn Summers, Buffy's younger sister, who was introduced into the series in the Buffy Season 5 premiere when Trachtenberg was 14 years old. Trachtenberg shared Sarah Michelle Gellar's comments on her Instagram, but made an additional statement hinting at her own traumatic experiences with Joss Whedon. Without going into detail, Trachtenberg said that a rule arose on the Buffy set that Whedon was "not allowed in a room alone with Michelle again," describing his behavior in the incident that led to the creation of this rule as "not appropriate behavior.... very. Not. Appropriate" while reminding people she was only a teenager during her time on Buffy.

While the rest of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel cast have yet to come forward with their own allegations of mistreatment, many of them have confirmed the accounts of their co-stars or offered their emotional support. Amber Benson, who played Tara on Buffy, confirmed Carpenter's claims on her personal Twitter account, saying that "Buffy was a toxic environment and it starts at the top." Eliza Dushku, who played the slayer Faith before starring in Whedon's series Dollhouse, praised Charisma Carpenter's post, saying it was "powerful, painful and painted a picture weâll collectively never un-see or un-know." Emma Caulfield, who played the ex-demon Anya on Buffy, and J. August Richards (who played Charles Gunn on Angel) made similar statements of support on their social media. Finally, Anthony Stewart Head, who played the Scoobies' mentor Rupert Giles, expressed his support for his co-stars in an interview with This Morning, while discussing how he was "running through my memories, thinking, âWhat did I miss?â Because this is not a man saying, âI didnât see it, so it didnât happen.â I canâtâI am gutted, Iâm seriously gutted."
More: All The Joss Whedon Abuse & Misconduct Allegations Explained
Buffy Controversy Explained: All The Allegations Against Joss Whedon from https://ift.tt/2LUdW0E
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Buffy The Vampire Slayer: 10 Hidden Details About The Main Characters Everyone Missed
Buffy the Vampire Slayer may have gone off the air over 15 years ago, but the show maintains a devoted fan following. And those fans have spent years poring over every nuance of the show. At this point fans know the characters inside and out, but that doesnât mean there arenât a few things they missed.
RELATED: RANKED: EVERY VERSION OF VAMPIRES ON TV/MOVIES
Here, weâre covering details about the main characters from Buffy that fans might not have picked up on. From foreshadowing future character developments, to referencing the past, to hinting at secret relationships, Buffy is full of subtle elements that are easy to overlook. Here are 10 of them.
10 WILLOW AND HER DOPPELGĂNGER HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

Willowâs vampire doppelgänger made her debut in Season 3, but it wasnât until a few episodes later that the human Willow met her blood-sucking counterpart. Willow didnât believe the pair had anything in common at the time, observing of her doppelgänger, âI'm so evil⌠and I think Iâm kind of gay.â
It turns out that by the end of Buffyâs sixth season Willow would be both of those things. In Season 4 after breaking up with Oz, Willow finds herself attracted to Tara and realizes sheâs a lesbian. Then, in Season 6, after Taraâs unexpected demise, Willow, who had been teetering on the edge all season, went completely dark. She became evil in ways her vampy doppelgänger probably never could have imagined. Willow even used her vampire look-alikeâs signature catch phrase âBored now,âbefore magically massacring the man who killed Tara. So much for nothing in common.
9 DAWNâS DEBUT IS FORESHADOWED

Fans were left scratching their heads when Buffyâs sister Dawn was introduced in Season 5, especially since the characters acted as if she had always been around. But it turns out Dawnâs arrival was foreshadowed more than once.
RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 BIGGEST TWISTS, RANKED
In the two-part Season 3 finale, Faith tells Buffy sheâs âall dressed up in big sisterâs clothes.â Later, when Faith and Buffy share a dream, Faith talks about Little Miss Muffet,  a reference to Dawn. In another dream in Season 4, Faith and Buffy discuss how much Buffy has to do with âlittle sis coming.â Then, in the Season 4 finale, Tara instructs Buffy to âbe back before dawn.â Finally, as the episode ends, Buffy peers into the empty room that would become Dawnâs in the very next episode.
8 BUFFYâS SARCASTIC PREDICTION

In one of the showâs most heartbreaking story arcs, Buffy lost her mother Joyce in Season 5 after a battle with a brain tumor. Just as Joyce seemed to be on the mend, she suffered a brain aneurysm and perished unexpectedly. What fans may not have noticed is that Buffy predicted her motherâs passing in an offhand comment the season before.
In the fourth season premiere while buying textbooks, Buffy makes a joke about their outlandish price tag by commenting, âI canât wait âtil my mom gets the bill for these books. I hope itâs a funny aneurysm.â Ouch. Buffy creator and executive producer Joss Whedon had planned Joyceâs demise well in advance and incorporated that throwaway line to foreshadow things to come.
7 TARA KNOWS WHAT GILES WILL DO

When big bad Glory was searching for her magical key in the fifth season, she came to the conclusion that it had to be Tara because she was the newest member of the Scooby Gang. However, when she realized Tara was just a plain old human, Glory brain-sucks her, turning Tara into one of her minions.
RELATED: 5 THINGS BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER DOES BETTER THAN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (& VICE VERSA)
While Tara loses her faculties in most ways, she somehow becomes plugged into Gloryâs wavelength, easily leading the gang to Gloryâs tower in Season 5' finale âThe Gift.â Yet, her abilities seem to go beyond that. As the group is exiting The Magic Box, Tara has a moment of clarity as she walks past Giles. She turns to him and accuses him of being a murderer. The gang is surprised and confused. But the accusation turns out to be prophetic. Before the fight with Glory is over, Giles takes out Ben, Gloryâs host body.
6 XANDER WORKED AS AN EXOTIC DANCER

During the summer after high school, Xander took off on a road trip to see the United States. He was gone all summer and never contacted the rest of the gang, so they assumed he was traveling the whole time. However, in Season 4's premiere, Buffy learned the truth: Xander never made it past the southern California city of Oxnard because that's where the engine fell out of his car.
In order to pay for the repairs, Xander spent a month and a half working at the Ladies Night club washing dishes. That is until one night when one of the male strippers called in sickâŚWhile Xander refused to say more, the implication was clear: the (strip) show had to go on, so Xander filled in.
5 WILLOW MUSICALLY REFERENCES SEASON 1

Fans agree that the iconic Season 6 episode âOnce More, With Feelingâ was one of the high points of the series. Willow didnât get a ton of singing time during the episode but she had a noteworthy line in the early number âIâve Got a Theory." In the song, all the characters propose ideas about who could be responsible for the musical plague they're experiencing. Willowâs theory was âSome kid is dreaming, and weâre all trapped inside his wacky Broadway nightmare.â
RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 SCARIEST MONSTERS, RANKED
Willow didn't pull her theory out of thin air; that exact scenario happened to her before in the Season 1 episode âNightmares,â in which a child turns peopleâs worst nightmares into reality. Willowâs nightmare: that she had to sing onstage.
4 BUFFYâS FATHER REMAINS A PART OF HER LIFE

Buffyâs father Hank is barely seen in the series. After her parentsâ divorce, Hank had minimal contact with his daughter. If anything, most fans thought of Giles as Buffy's father figure. Yet Hank wasn't completely gone from Buffyâs life.
In the showâs first three seasons, Buffy saw her father several times. He periodically came to Sunnydale to see her on weekends and she visited him in Los Angeles over the summer. Then in Season 6, after Buffyâs mother passed away, Buffy unsuccessfully tried to reach her father. It seemed like maybe Hank was gone for good. Yet in the comic book continuation of the series, Hank makes an appearance to visit with both Buffy and Dawn.
3 SPIKE KNEW HALFREK WHENâŚ

The episode âFool for Loveâ details Spikeâs backstory, including his pre-vampire days when he was simply a bad poet named William who was in love with a woman named Cecily, who cruelly rejected him. However, the episode wasnât the last we saw of Cecily â or at least the actress who played her.
RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 STORYLINES THAT HAVE AGED POORLY
Kali Rocha returned to in Season 6 to portray Anyaâs vengeance demon bestie Halfrek. And when Halfrek and Spike happened to run across one another in the episode, there's a telling moment where they recognize each other. Halfrek even refers to Spike as âWilliam." Many fans took the moment as confirmation that Halfrek and Cecily were the same person â a theory that was later confirmed by Whedon.
2 BUFFY EXPIRES AT THE SAME TIME AS HER CREDIT CARD

It's no secret that Buffy enjoyed some retail therapy every now and then. But one subtle detail has her expiring at the same time as her mother's credit card. When Faith swapped bodies with Buffy in Season 4, Faith used Joyce's credit card to book a flight out of Sunnydale.
On the phone, the expiration date she gave for the card was 5-0-1. In other words, May 2001, a date that happened to coincide with Buffyâs Season 5 finale a year and a half later when Buffy sacrificed herself to save Dawn.
1 SPIKE AND ANGEL SHARE A NAME

Fans know that Spike and Angel went by different names when they were human. Spikeâs given name was William, a popular moniker in England where Spike was born. Meanwhile, Angelâs given name was Liam, the Irish form of William.
The names share the same origin and meaning, with Liam arising out of the name William. That means for all intents and purposes, Spike and Angelâs given names are the same.
NEXT: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 MOST BADASS FEMALE CHARACTERS, RANKED
source https://screenrant.com/1797135-2/
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