#i wish i knew how to add a read more link but i dont on mobile

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[softforklave]

The Big Klave Fic Rec

Reginald Hargreeves does everything he can to learn about the Umbrella Academy’s powers, but Klaus is the one who finds out why they have their powers. No one expected the answer to be “we’re fallen angels” but here they all were. This is for my lovely @cemeteryklaus I hope you enjoy this! You will not run out of klave fics on my watch ;)

I have excessively been reading klave fics since s1 came out in February 2019, when there was only one page under the Klaus Hargreeves/Dave tag on ao3 (before our King shared his full name on Twitter). There are currently 2056 fics on ao3, and I can (un)fortunately say I have read almost all of them (what am I doing with my life?). Klave has been blessed with so many talented writers, so this is quite the list. Many of them have written more than one fic (some even over 50!), and since they are all amazing, it would take ages to list them all. Therefore, I have decided to recommend authors who have written two or more klave fics and linking to their the umbrella academy ao3 works page. Go read all of their works, and I can guarantee that every single fic is wonderful! And dont forget to leave kudos and comments, our writers deserve all the love and appreciation that we can give them! 

I also highly encourage people reblogging with their favourite fics, if you want to show the writers some more love or if I have forgotten your favourite fic (you can also dm me if you want me to add it on)! I have tried to @ the authors, but sometimes it can be hard to find the right blogs. Please let me know if I have tagged you wrong, forgotten to tag you or dont want me to tag you, I will remove the @ at once! I will try to update this as I continue to excessively consume klave content (though this is limited to ao3 and tumblr), so please come back to this list for more recommendations. Happy Reading! <3

Authors (2 or more klave fics)

A - B

a_nybodys /// accidentallyanoctopus /// actuallymaxie ///admirabletragedy @admirabletragedy /// aelisheva /// AliNear /// Allandnothing /// allthempickles /// Ama /// Anglophile_Rin @anglophile-rin /// aubrey_writes /// aye_of_newt @aye-of-newt /// bacondoughtnut @spookybeez /// Becca_Hay /// Bendy_CA @apocalypse-gang /// bennybentacles @bennybentacles /// blazeofglory /// Bluebacchus @bluebacchus /// bluetigerlillies @frogsarebxtches /// brionylarkin @brionylarkin 

C - E

CaptainAmericaoftheTardis /// CharryWotter /// covenofthearticulate @codenameseance /// CowgayKermit @cowgaykermit /// crisecardiac @thistlemoth /// Cyane /// Dancinbutterfly @dancinbutterfly /// dandelyre @dandelyre /// deargalileo/// deathishauntedbyhumans @deathishauntedbyhumans /// discohargreeves /// Doctor959 /// Dog_Bearing_Gifts @dogbearinggifts /// Drhair76 @handcoversheart-76  ///  dyllpickless @dyllpickless /// electric016 @electric016 /// Eternal_Peace_Is_Overrated @flowercrownsandbooks 

F - K

Faetality @faetxlity /// forestdivinity (ForestDivinity) @forestdivinity /// forthekidswhoaintgotnosoul @prime8svevo /// FrazzledSquidz G33kinthepink /// ghostbythesea @gay-poster-child  /// goldieknocks @goldieknocks  /// Hemitreunited @hermitreunited /// hippieklaus @hippieklaus /// hujwernoo /// iamnotalizard @lizard-overlord /// ilikeshipment @theseance1968 /// intheflowers /// Karturtle (karturtle) @karturtle /// Katplanet @katplanet /// KawaiiCommunism @kawaiic0mmunism /// KindaCool @kindasickkindacool /// klausmoon 

L - P

lastyoungrene-gay-de @lastyoungrene-gay-de /// livid /// LiviJoyann /// livtontea @zontiky /// loves_buckybarnes ///  Lyviel @justatiredghost /// Majure @fanthings /// Mars_and_Moon /// mieczyhale @mieczyhale /// momebie (katilara) @charmingpplincardigans /// noodlerdoodler ///  MusicLover19 ///  Nyctae /// obscurityofphylum /// ohmygodwhy @gaycinema /// Opal_Lakes /// @opal-lakes /// ophelibob_writes @a-human-pippin-took /// Papapaldi @wykart/// perceptuallydisorganizedwriter ///  PickledBeef  @pickledbeefwastaken ///  polarkai /// princejoopie @princejoopie /// punk_rock_yuppie

Q - S

queenbaskerville /// QueenOfAllCorgis /// rumbleroarsslumberingcubs /// Scalliwag @sscalliwag /// seancequeen @seancequeen /// sehn_sucht @sehn----sucht /// SerpaSas @queenbeyondthewalll  /// Shadowscast ///  Shamefulshameless @shameful-shameless /// Sharpworksamurai/// shipNslash /// Siriuspiggyback @cowboyklaus /// Smallswritesstuff @mychemicalxmen /// smile_it_will_get_better @smileitwillgetbetterbitches /// softforklave @softforklave (shameless self promo) ///spookyfbi @spookyfbi  /// stuckinmybook /// Squintern @chinchillinator ///  squishitude @squishitude /// sunriseseance @sunriseseance /// sunshineklaus

T - Y

tealeavesandtrash @carry-on-my-wayward-hobbit /// thefangirlingdead @thefangirlingdead /// TheMadHatterOfficial /// thetreasuerhunter @yeah-klave /// tjstar @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky /// TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone @tobiboonethesmallspoone/// TotallynotRemus @totallynotremus /// TwistedIllusions @courtneytarynofficial /// twosidedcoin /// VeteranKlaus @veteranklaus /// wildeism @knifecatklaus /// writer_inthe_dark /// yukiawison /// zweebie 

Fics (authors with currently only one klave fic)

Placeholder by Ace_Chey (mrs_sakuma) @cheydoesfandom

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A FIRST DRAFT WIP, EXPECT MISTAKES IN SPELLING, GRAMMAR, AND TIMELINES after NaNo I plan to edit and republish a cleaner, more complete version in 2021 ~~~

When Klaus sees the news that their father is dead, they’re feeding their seven-month-old daughter, Grace Kelly Katz, one year sober, and finally back on T (prescribed this time). Their siblings still haven't met Dave, let alone Gracie, and Klaus can't bear the thought of introducing them, not now, under these circumstances, so they go alone. But when the family reunion becomes complete with Five's sudden and bizarre arrival, not from 45 years in a wasteland, but directly from the lunch he ran away from 20 years ago, they realize things are going to get more complicated and they might not be able to put it off any longer.

Words: 58,217 Chapters: 36/? Status: Hiatus

Snapshots of a Life Well Lived by Ace_of_Spades_400

One week into Vietnam and the briefcase is broken. Klaus is never going home. He's just going to have to make the most of his life here, now.

Words: 13,960 Chapters: 3/3 Status: Complete

Run for miles just to get a taste by Agf

Dave comes back to 2019, and Klaus has some memories best exorcised with new ones.

Words: 1,666 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Not a Replacement, Never a Replacement by AndThenHeGotKnockedUp

Klaus hasn't piloted a Jaeger in years. He hasn't wanted to without Ben. He's spent all that time wandering far, far away from anything having to do with the Academy and kaiju.

Unfortunately for him, the world is ending, and Luther doesn't give him a choice.

(Pre-Klave! Will have a follow up in the future.)

Part 1 of the UA PacRim Fusion series

Words: 2,625 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

soldiered together by Anonymous 

"... I was foolish enough to follow him all the way to the front line."

Words: 2,993 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

know tenderness by applepandowdy

Klaus wished, more than anything, that they had just had a bit more time.

Words: 1,266 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

whatever words I say, i will always love you by ariya167 and bigembarrasingheart @ariya-167and @bigembarrassingheart

Dave kissed Klaus first, but Klaus kissed him back.

Words: 921 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

if i could choose anything in the world (id pick you every time) by aseriesofessays @macroglossus

"Would you have come back?"

He thinks about a farm.

Words: 588 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

The Boy and The Ghost by Astheroid 

“Look for me. Promise me Dave, promise you’ll look for me at the Umbrella Academy!”

Dave never knew what those words meant, the parting words of the man he loved, and they made absolutely no sense.

Until thirty-four years later when he found his purpose.

“Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted six such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy.”

or story of ghost Dave finding thirteen year old Klaus and swearing to protect him from all evil.

Words: 4,494 Chapters: 2/? Status: WIP

new year, new me (things always turn out how they’re meant to be) by Astronomical_Aphrodite @aesthetic-antheia

When they travelled back through time, Klaus wasn’t expecting to be the only one who remembered. 

Part 1 of maybe by next January

Words: 80,770 Chapters: 18/20 Status: WIP

Five times Klaus dies in Vietnam and comes back, and One time Someone else does by BabyPom

Klaus can't seem to die, at least not permanently.

Words: 1,169 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

How The Hollyhocks Bloom by batcavemasquerade

In which Klaus Hargreeves, a retired pacifist, is dumped headfirst into the Vietnam War. Klaus never comes home and his brothers and sisters claw their way back to him, one by one, after the end of the world.

AKA: The siblings go back to the 1960s to regroup and to get a few measly moments of goddamned peace and quiet, and find Klaus serving in the Vietnam War, different and sober as can be.

Words: 24,035 Chapters: 16/20 Status: WIP - Chapter 16 is the new chapter 1. For the rewrite, read from 16 and upwards.

i hope you know you're my desire (i hope you know you're the one) by beezran

It must be fate when Dave puts his hand on Klaus’ cheek right as Klaus starts to ache for his kiss.

Kiss me.

His touch makes Klaus stand up straighter and edge closer to him.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” Dave says, and even with all that they’ve been drinking, Klaus knows it isn’t that what’s talking.

“Kiss me,” Klaus actually says it. He can’t take it back, and he doesn’t want to when Dave is looking at him like that.

Dave’s breath ghosts over his lips and Klaus keeps repeating it in his head like a prayer.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

Or he might have said it, he’s not sure when he’s so caught up in the feeling of Dave so close to him.

Words: 22,708  Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Arcane Incidents of Anoxia by Bellovebug

Klaus dies.

Klaus dies, and Dave can't breathe.

He forgets what it's like, the feeling of oxygen entering his lungs, the sensation of carbon dioxide exiting them.

He remembers, though, the stories Klaus used to tell. He remembers that joke he'd made about that briefcase he always carried around being a time machine. He remembers the tall tales of a family of superpowers, a less than stellar father. He remembers the stories he'd spun out of thin air, of time travel and a disappearing brother and a talking chimpanzee and a robot mother.

(He remembers the true story he'd told about seeing ghosts.)

He only learns once he opens that mysterious briefcase under Klaus's cot that all of the stories were true.

Every one of them.

Words: 22,075 Chapters: 4/? Status: WIP

life is full of pain, i'm cruisin' through my brain by bigembarrassingheart @bigembarrassingheart

Bullets whizzed past his ears, and he would have screamed but he already was. Klaus grabbed Dave’s face, stroked his cooling cheek, rested his head on his shoulder like he did when they had nights alone. There had to be some life left in his body. In any second he would feel the heave of his chest. He had to.

or

Klaus takes a pit stop before going back to the future.

Words: 1,188 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

found by burlesquecomposer

Klaus’s right hand is Dave’s favorite one to hold. As long as they embrace hello, Dave says, they’ll never have to say goodbye.

But war is a bitch, and Dave is the one who gave him an excuse to charge into it head-on.

Words: 2,628 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

You Drew Stars Around My Scars by caliibee

“Does it hurt?” Klaus asked softly, running his fingers over Dave’s face and down his neck. He trailed down his chest, mindful of the deep-set wound that always sent a shock through his heart no matter how many times he’d seen it. Dave caught his hands and brought them back up to cup his face.

“No, not anymore.”

Words: 792 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

The Umbrella Academy: Winter Soldier by chiquitasdave and ratsbaby (orphan_account)

Luther lands an uppercut to the jaw, sending the soldier flying, and Diego’s moving before he even lands. His grip on Klaus tightens and his mouth opens to say something, anything, to pull him back to the safety of the car they crouch behind, but Klaus beats him to the punch. He leans forward to better watch the action, to cheer his brother on (or clean up his remains, depending on how this goes), and stops cold as the soldier pushes himself to his feet again.

Klaus' first thought is that he’s beautiful. Klaus’ second thought is that he knows him.

The threat of danger is sensed and signals fire to tell the brain, no, not yet! We weren’t meant for this! He can’t take it now! The body reacts to stop him, but Klaus steps forward anyway. He ignores every impulse because he knows him, because love makes him stupid, because he has to.

Klaus takes another step forward.

‘Dave?’

‘Who the hell is Dave?’

Words: 13,120 Chapters: 3/10 Status: WIP 

I Could Not Be At Rest, I Could Not Be At Peace by CosmicJourney @cosmictapestry

With the apocalypse delayed, there's now ample opportunity for Klaus to open up to his siblings about his past. There's also ample opportunity to try and conjure Dave. Unfortunately, one of these has to take precedence over the other.

(Season 1 AU)

(Sequel to "I'll Find Sleep, I'll Find Peace")

Words: 52,274 Chapters: 10/10 Status: Complete

Sick Of Losing Soulmates by CrazyAngel

"Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences."

Back in 2019, things are the same but also different. The Hargreeves have messed with the timeline way too much and some things clearly aren't the same — like giving the chance for Klaus to meet Dave again. Klaus knows nothing about reincarnation or if it was really he and his brothers fault for this, but he'll take the chance anyway. Even if this Dave is blind now.

Part 1 of the Right Back Where We Started (Again) series

Words: 26,417 Chapters: 6/6 Status: Complete

Admist the Chaos by crazynadine 

Ten months. Klaus spent ten months in Vietnam, fighting a war he didn't belong in, falling in love with a man he didn't deserve.

The long and convoluted tale about how a time traveling junkie and a disillusioned solider found love amidst the chaos of war....

Words: 87,700 Chapters: 10/10 Satus: Complete

The beginning of something by DoctorProfessorSong @doctorprofessorsong

The Hargreeves siblings find themselves in a future they barely recognize. Their father is alive. Their home is occupied by a mixture of strangers and familiar faces calling themselves The Sparrow Academy. None of them are friendly.

But it's all going to be okay. Five has a plan to restore the timeline. The rest of the siblings just need to sit tight and lay low. Just don't wander off. How hard can that be?

A continuation of the story from S2 because I am impatient for more. This one is gonna get real dark but I promise I am going to give the Hargreeves a happy ending.

Words: 52,548 Chapters: 18/18 Status: Complete

take me out, baby by downpours @fourhargreeves

For someone who spent a decade running from the debts he owed, Klaus spent an alarming amount of time trying to recompense Dave for loving him.

Words: 6,802 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Your Song by eithergayorgayer @yerbluues9

"And you can tell everybody, this is your song."

In which Klaus can play piano and sing and decides to serenate Dave who is watching from above.

Words: 3,578 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Hands by GoldenBones

Late at night after the disco when everyone else is asleep, Klaus kneels at Dave’s bunk and whispers a silent prayer into Dave’s hands. In a rare moment of peace against the harsh Vietnam winter, Klaus holds Dave’s hand against his face and tries to sleep.

Words: 1,640 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Ink and Dirt, Eggs and Orange Juice by HappySeaNinja

It’s a quick job on an overcast day, in and out, smooth like coffee, and the only hitch is in his voice when he says goodbye. There’s dirt under his fingernails, ink on his stomach, and a lingering shot of whisky on his tongue.

Really, it’s all that’s left.

Non-linear moments in Klaus and Dave's relationship across seasons 1 and 2. Please don't read unless you've watched all of season 2 as there are spoilers.

Words: 4,631 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

oh love, i'm there in memories by hellchoirs

"If only there could be an invention that bottled up a memory, like scent. And it never faded, and it never got stale. And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like living the moment all over again."

Words: 1,536 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

To Have a Home by heterophobe

Dave Katz is a simple man. He values kindness, honesty and strength of character. As someone who is queer and homeless, he also has a fairly substantial distrust of law enforcement.

This is why—when a twig of a man, with kohl-lined eyes and a vibrant pair of purple tights, sprints across the alley-way he’s seated in, skids to a halt at the corner of a dumpster, and balls himself tightly out of view from the street—Dave doesn’t make a move to flag down confused-looking uniformed officers that follow him into the mouth of the alley.

It’s also why—when said officers approach him, and ask him if he’s seen anyone come by—he takes one look at the man’s pleading eyes and shakes his head mournfully. “No, sorry officers.”

OR:

As told through a series of non-linear snapshots, Dave and Klaus come to know one another.

Words: 3,346 Chapters: 2/15 Status: WIP

Dream A Little Dream of Me by idkpeachystuff

"Klaus, thinking back, had always thought that was a strange term. Making love. He wasn't actually certain why. Sex had always felt like...well, sex. Fucking. Nothing entirely special or intimate that he felt had the effect on his heart like nearly everyone had made it seem it should be. And despite how utterly and disgustingly cliché it sounded, that was of course until he met Dave."

Klaus wakes before Dave on their last morning together, on a weekend out in town that is, leaving him with one of his only options to remember everything that had happened the night before and realizing that he was deeply in love, and no matter what, he was never getting out

Words: 3,015 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

projected stars across the night sky by iheardarumor (sonicraptors)

The best nights he’d ever had in his life were spent at his side.

Words: 1,496 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Late Shift at The Umbrella Café by intravenusann @jeffgoldblumsmulletinthe90s

Klaus and Ben have the afternoon shift together almost every day. But not every day are the customers as nice — or as hot! — as this new Dave guy.

Or, in other words, a story where Klaus gets his life together enough to get a boyfriend.

Words: 45,563 Chapters: 6/6 Status: Complete

Need Some Advice by Jenni4

Niki wasn’t used to anyone asking her opinion, so she was surprised when Vina walked into work with an extra energy drink and slid it to her. “Need some advice.”

Niki raised an eyebrow and opened the can and took a big gulp. Vina had been sitting next to her at the call center for exactly two days now. “What makes you think I’m qualified to give anyone advice?”

Vina shrugged out of her jacket and took her seat. “You seem to have your shit together.”

Niki almost choked on her laughter at that one. “That’s so far from the truth but…”

Words: 5,192 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Farewell by JuliusQuasar @juliusquasar and LittleRit @littlerit

Day 20: Shipwrecked

Part 10 of the LittleRit's MerMay Fills 2021

Words: 100 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

a life so demanding by kaijugore @kaijugore

"He was still carrying the war in his heart, how was he supposed to talk about that?"

Ten months. 304 days. 7,300 hours. 438,000 minutes. It would never ever ever be enough time.

Part 1 of the i am (not) afraid to keep on living series

Words: 1,861 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

the sugar rush, the constant hush by kamisado 

The scars across his body mark a treasure map of mistakes. Tiny shrapnel scars and rosy-red roadrash, a lifetime of being thrown to the ground by Academy training and the real world. The ivory line tracing across his jaw, almost invisible. The tattoos and the traintracks, the pockmarked puncture wounds scattered like a horrifying constellation across his body.

He’s so tired.

[a klaus s1 character study]

Words: 3,801 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

By The Firelight by keatches @klauzoleum

They share a long look, their lips still tilted in small, secret smiles.

“I’m Dave.” He extends an open palm, skin callous but inviting. Klaus reciprocates with a clap of his own hand against his.

“Klaus.” He tilts forward as the bus jolts, trundling them away to disaster. The briefcase knocks against the heel of his boot, but Klaus absentmindedly nudges it aside.

The five significant times Klaus spoke to Dave. The one time he never will again.

Or, how they fell in love.

Words: 14,681 Chapters: 6/6 Status: Complete

in midnights, in cups of coffee by klausgraves

Dave is just trying to keep his bookstore open, and the stoned hottie that keeps wandering in and talking at the air really, really isn't helping.

Words: 7,316 Chapters: 3/? Status: WIP 

Sehnsucht by KimbaSprite @pokemonmasterkimba

Day 26: Longing

What was supposed to be a casual night out takes a turn for the weird when Dave encounters a mysterious stranger stranded on the beach. His sister keeps telling him he needs to meet new people and make connections, so why not with Klaus? Even if he is so attractive that Dave feels he may get sick from nerves alone.

-

“Hey, my eyes are up here. Careful, or you may get lost in them.“ He looks into Klaus’s eyes as instructed and hmm. Yeah, wow.

Klaus bites his lip in a way that is definitely attractive, and Dave wonders if he realizes what he’s doing to him. Probably. Probably. Klaus seems like the kind of person who knows just how powerful they are.

All at once Dave finds himself sympathizing with old-timey sailors; he could see himself risk drowning just for the chance to exist in the same space as Klaus.

Words: 8,585 Chapter: 1/1 Status: Complete

I'll Never Let Them Hurt You (I Promise) by LaceratedLullabies

But whatever apocalyptic future Dave found himself in couldn’t be worse than the present. His world had already ended. - On February 21st 1968, Klaus Hargreeves dies in Vietnam. A heartbroken Dave follows his last connection to the man he loves: a time-travelling briefcase. 50 years out of time, Dave has to deal with a changed world, his aborted grief and a tortured Klaus who doesn't know him yet. Oh, and the impending apocalypse.

Words: 13,851 Chapters:7/? Status: WIP

I Will Follow You by lostonthisisland @distilledspirit

After Dave's death on the front lines of the Vietnam War he's pulled through time to witness important points in Klaus' life.

Was going for a 5+1 format, but it's a bit looser than that. So, in other words, 5 times Dave sees Klaus and 1 time Klaus sees Dave.

Words: 6,693 Chapters: 2/2 Status: Complete

i get down on my knees and pretend to pray by marinersapptcomplex @wavesknowshoress

He was quiet, for once, standing silent and breathing in the air around him. There were tears in his eyes.

Words: 2,044 Chapters: 1/1  Status: Complete

Soulmates by Meilena

"Klaus was twelve, as high as a kite, and in fact, did know why his soulmark looked so thin and light."

Everyone has a soulmark, which is where the name of their soulmate resides on the skin of their left forearm. Klaus has one too, only his is a little different.

Words: 853 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

(Feels Like) Heaven by Melivian @melivian

When Klaus wakes up in the afterlife, he can't believe his luck.  Somehow, despite his checkered past and wobbly moral compass, he's made it into the Good Place, where he'll spend eternity with his dream soulmate in a dream neighbourhood.

Only there are two problems. The first is that he's pretty sure the architect of this neighbourhood has the wrong person. And if she catches on that Klaus doesn't belong with all the heroes and philanthropists here, he'll be sent to the Bad Place.

The second is that for the residents, this dream is starting to feel a lot like a nightmare...

Part 1 of the I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door series

Words: 23,496 Chapters: 5/28 Status: WIP

Hello, Goodbye by michaelfalls

His eyes stare where Klaus can’t see. His soul goes where Klaus can’t follow.

Words: 2438 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

come on, baby by myeyesarenotblue @myeyesarenotblue

“Dave, my sister has powers,” Klaus says, matter of factly, bobbing his head up and down, “She’s had powers this whole time but my asshole father decided she was too-” and he looks down at the notebook, does finger quotes with one hand, “- 'uncontrollable' and 'dangerous’ to use them.”  

“Powers?”  

“Yeah.”  

“As in- superpowers? ”  

“Yeah,” Klaus says, and then- “I have to tell her," and then- "Wanna come with?"

Words: 5,081 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

your fingers weave quick minarets by nerdsandthelike @nerdsandthelike

According to Five, they have an apocalypse to stop in the future and here Klaus is fifty years too early trying to get in the pants of some probably straight GI who Ben keeps reminding him looks like Luther before the protein shakes. Because he’s not Allison, Klaus decides to put that particular observation waaaaaayyy to the side.

Words: 6,615 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

My Heart Is Playing Hide-And-Seek (Wait And Count To Four) by nessbess (orphan_account)

Klaus had spent what felt like a lifetime searching for Dave after he died in 1968. But Dave found him first, long before that. Klaus was five years old the first time he appeared.

Words: 11,908 Chapters: 8/? Status: WIP 

Five and Dave's Life Changing (Life Saving) Field Trip by neuronary

The little boy, who Dave could now see was not as little as he’d first thought, shoved a tin mug at him. “Drink this.”

Dave drank. It tasted sickly sweet and slightly citrus-y. “Who are you?”

“Five.” The boy’s scowl deepened at Dave’s confusion. “Klaus’ brother.”

Or, Five saves Dave's life to stop Klaus from moping. From Dave's perspective, a very grouchy, sleep-deprived twelve-year-old kidnaps him and he finds it much more entertaining than he should.

Inspired by Lyviel's 'Fixes to the Timeline'

Words: 1,728 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

breathy on the bits by Nucci @maundering-marauder

“So Fivey, tired of the school boy chic?” Klaus asked with a manic grin, “Because do I have so many ideas for you.”

“As long as it’s warm, I don’t really care.”

“Warm, check” Klaus noted, miming checking a box with his finger, “Any other demands?”

“No sequins,” Five replied and blipped out of the room.

---

Or, Five’s tired of wearing the Academy uniform and Klaus offers to help. As is wont to do with the Hargreeves, emotions and miscommunication ensues.

Words: 8,702 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

The Collision of Your Kiss by orphan_account

Klaus spends ten months in Vietnam.

Dave is why.

Words: 4,505 Chapters: 1/1 Status: discontinued

pieces (skin to bone) by orphan_account

The first time Klaus dies, he is thirteen. He dies again at seventeen, eighteen, twenty-four. By his fifth death, he has resigned himself to the blackness that awaits him. Not that he much cares: anything would be better than this, even blissful oblivion, even floating in blackness until his mind decays, and, like Five, he starts seeing people where there aren’t there, falling in love with a mannequin or a fleck of dust in his eye.

-

Dave won't come to Klaus, so Klaus decides to go to him.

Words: 2,128 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

in the mountain of the crouching beast by patrocluus

Dave catches his eye later, when they’re sitting next to each other in the bumpy truck, men jostling into each other on all sides; the corner of his mouth quirks up a little, just enough to make Klaus’ heart jump in his chest. He doesn’t remember the last time someone looked at him like that: like they have a secret to share, and that secret is the most important thing in the world, even if that world seems to be ending around them.

Or: It's 1968, and deep in the A Shau Valley, Vietnam, Klaus meets a man who feels like home.

Words: 8,203 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

in the january rain by phcbosz

And all Klaus has left to prove that any of it happened and wasn’t just one fucked up dream is a pair of bloody dog tags, a tattoo on his arm, and the taste of ash sticking to the roof of his mouth.

Words: 5,226 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Dancing to the Rhythm of a Different Drum by PlaneJane

Klaus escapes from one terror, and finds himself in another: the A Shau Valley, Vietnam, 1968.

"They kissed at midnight, breath heavy with liquor, the first brush of Dave’s lips making Klaus weak at the knees. Giddy at the gentle way Dave took his face in his hands, like Klaus was something precious."

My Klaus and Dave backstory, because the show didn't give me enough.

Words: 1,498 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

His name was Dave by punkspiders

Klaus reflects back upon his time both in the Vietnam War, and with the man he loved more than himself.

Words: 1,654 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

How Not To Propose by RhubarbDuck

His life follows a monotonous routine: wake up, smoke, go to the same shitty grocery store, space out for eight hours and occasionally stock shelves, more drugs, rinse, and repeat.

His life was, at some point, a little more exciting (if exciting meant going on a week-long bender and waking up in a cell with the worst headache he ever experienced). After a couple weeks in jail and the threat of a rehab that he could never attend, he met Dave. Honestly, Klaus couldn’t remember his life before Dave. Dave was kind and understanding and way too put together to be with a fuck up like Klaus, but for whatever reason he seems to love Klaus- or at least he tells him so twice a day.

Or

American Ultra AU

Words: 19,824 Chapters: 5/? Status: WIP

The Moments We Had by RosyPages @thesevenumbrellas

A series of moments between Dave and Klaus as they fall in love during the war.

Words: 2,044 Chapters: 3/8 Status: WIP

In the Dark by runrarebit

So they're back in the past, they're thirteen again, Ben is alive, Vanya doesn't remember, her siblings are suddenly treating her differently, better, and all of a sudden she and Klaus are bonding- Klaus who is still trying to be clean and sober- except things are never easy, are they? There’s their father to contend with, once more alive and at the height of his power over them, and there’s secrets, always secrets, always in danger of getting out, and after their father decides that a clean and sober Klaus is a Klaus that can resume his training Reginald Hargreeves just might not be the scariest man walking the halls of the Umbrella Academy- even if only one person can see him.

The thing about Klaus is that, even trapped, in the dark, he is never alone. Never alone. Never. And the past he's been running from ever since he was a small child might just now be something he can’t escape from.

Words: 61,243 Chapters: 18/18 Status: Hitaus

well, the clock says it's time to close now by rythyme (pugglemuggle)

The first time Klaus falls in love, it's in the middle of a war. Fate really does enjoy cruel irony.

Or, a series of vignettes from the ten months Klaus and Dave spent together in Vietnam.

Words: 3,788 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Fancy Seeing You Here by Saccha @sacchariwrites

Dave miraculously survives being shot in the chest, and is present when Klaus gets in a fight at that vets bar.

Written for EnKlave Fest.

Words: 1,891 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Valentine’s Day in Vietnam by salvador-daley @salvador-daley

A hungover Klaus awakes after a night in the arms of a young man from Dallas

Words: 1.7k Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

In the Dark of the Night by sassmaster_tiresias @i-will-fong-you

The flashlight is still on, peeking out between the folds in Dave’s comforter, and Dave remembers how frantic Klaus had been to turn it on.

He remembers how he couldn’t even really see Klaus when he’d first woken up, his beautiful face obscured by the darkness. Then, he remembers the Christmas lights in Klaus’ room—strung in a haphazard zig-zag up the wall beside his bed, the soft glow that was present every time Dave had been in that room.

“The lights,” he says.

Words: 2,437 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

War is Hell by sauropod @occult-criticality

Klaus' hands were still filthy with dried blood and muck as he fumbled at the clasps, the combination lock on the top. Desperate, blind hope had his heart going a mile a minute. The dial still read that seemingly random set of numbers it had the first time he opened it on the bus, what felt like a lifetime ago.

0213-18-02-1967

“Please.” Klaus choked. “Please work.” He opened the briefcase.

Words: 80,813 Chapters: 21/? Status: WIP

New and Familiar by Snabby

If you told Dave a year ago that he had a loving (if a bit crazy) boyfriend, in a relationship which he didn’t have to hide, he wouldn’t have believed you. Although that thought isn’t as crazy in comparison to being in the future and the fact that his boyfriend, can not only see ghosts but was raised in a crazy cult-like superhero family.

In Dave’s opinion, the oddest thing out of the whole family is Five

So he was a little shocked and confused when Five popped in front of him.

“I need you to get a decent fucking cup of coffee” shoving his little finger in Dave’s face

----------

Or Klaus and Dave pretend to be Five's parents so the poor little dude can get coffee

Words: 1967 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

It's a Piece of Cake to Bake a Pretty Cake by StardustInYourEyes

Prompt: Flour fight in the kitchen Klaus and Dave's attempt at making a cake

Words: 2,535 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

i just wish that you were here, now by sapphictomaz

Immediately after the Season One finale, Klaus finds himself back in 1968, and is forced to so some soul-searching while dealing with the rest of his siblings and the memories he has of Dave from the first time around.

Title from "Wish You Were Here" by Marianas Trench.

Words: 4,055 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

face to face (and a thousand miles apart) by shadowlancer_95 @shadowsofmoonracer

His strides were long, and shaky as he stumbled through the darkness, relying on the barest threads of memory to Allison’s house. The cut on his lip stung in the cold night air, his throbbing cheekbone a mere shadow of the agony in the hollow cavity where his heart used to be.

Or,

Klaus, after his second (and most disastrous) meeting with Dave.

Words: 1,799 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

i wore his jacket for the longest time by sharkhette

So, maybe Klaus wasn’t in his right frame of mind. Maybe he hadn’t been for a long time. But Dave was dead, and that meant Klaus should be able to conjure him, one way or another. The traditional method of cleaning up his act and sitting around to wait hadn’t worked, so it was time to get imaginative.

Klaus just wants to see Dave again, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen, no matter the cost. Includes conversations with Ben, Diego, God, a surly preacher, and gratuitous references to certain MCR songs.

Words: 7,252 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

His oxygen belongs to Death by Sophiethegeek

He can almost taste their bloodlust on his tongue, feel their rage heavy in his breastbone. They’re bad today, and it’s safe to say he’s having a very bad day as a result. Each swipe is sending icy pain across his skin, making him shiver. God, he’s cold.

He closes his eyes, pretending not to hear the faint roar of the snarling, crying, screeching mass around him. Why did he think sobriety was a good idea? Christ on a cracker, this fucking sucked.

Or: After hopping around time, and returning to the day of the apocalypse that never was, Klaus falls apart slowly, then all at once.

Words: 91,661 Chapters: 8/? Status: WIP

Love You, Sugar by spaceysev

There’s a reason Klaus can’t listen to Total Eclipse of the Heart anymore, and it’s got everything to do with the only man who was ever allowed to call him Sugar.

Words: 3,828 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

musical preference by sourcheeks

“Of course you don’t like country.”

“I never said that,” Klaus replied diplomatically, even though it was true.

Words: 227 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Wings of Feathers and Wax by TerezFox8989

A look at the morning after their first time.

Hell, he always considered it a personal victory if he could put a name to a face after, which had suited him just fine. Sex had always had a means to an end, he used and was used; drugs, food, sleep, alcohol. But never this...not mornings after wrapped up in each other talking about family.

Words: 1,534 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

One Night in Saigon by terracotta_heartbreak

They're drunk, they're in a Saigon Hotel, and Klaus is smoking on the bed, but that's nothing new. But it's such an odd thing to be alone together, that doe-eyed strange man who never made sense here, and the soldier who'd fallen for him, for all those eccentricities. How are you meant to make sense of each other in the 60s, in that musky haze of war, drugs and the sounds of political blues rock?

Words: 2,011 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Just One in Thousands by TheArchaeologist @ancientstone

Take the idea that Five is followed by all his victims from his time at the Commission, and take the idea that Five is responsible for Dave’s death, and what do you get?

Pain.

Pain is what you get.

Words: 1,351 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Dancing with a Ghost by TheBestofEverything

"Would you like to share this dance with me?" Dave asked quietly.

"I'd love to," Klaus smiled as he took Dave's hand in his.

(Klaus is finally sober, and he conjures Dave.)

Words: 664 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Bad Enough for You by thehoundisdead

Dave can be bad. He doesn’t want to be but he can. He wants to spoon Klaus; to gather him up tight enough against his chest to hold all of his pieces together, to let him relax for once. He wants to take a bath with him and shampoo his hair and make him breakfast in bed and wrap him up in his softest blanket. But that’s not what Klaus wants, at least not yet. Dave has a strong suspicion that Klaus has never been treated softly by a partner. So, bad boy.

based on the song bad enough for you by all time low

Words: 8,757 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

The Way Light Swallows Shadows by TheSevenUmbrellas (RosyPages) @thesevenumbrellas

Dave is a vampire hunter who has never hunted a vampire in his life. Klaus is a vampire made for a war that ended before he was even born. When ten years of peace are put at risk after the death of a hunter, they’re both faced with the possibility that maybe the war isn’t over after all. Separated from their respective sides, Dave and Klaus have no other option but to depend on each other to get home before a war can tear their lives apart.

Words: 5,932 Chapters: 2/24 Status: WIP

Tag, You're It by totallyevan @totallyevan

Dating in Vietnam was never easy. Klaus and Dave have to watch out for everything, but thankfully they know their way around the system. Things escalate quickly and the only witness is the moon.

Words: 11,116 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

something so magic about you (so tragic about you) by Tremble

Snippets of their live in Vietnam or Dave slowly finding out that Klaus is nowhere near ordinary. --- This was originally suppose to be a 5+1 thing, but uh that didn't happen. oops

Words: 6,625 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

21.02.1960 by Uglyfrogboi

It was funny how time worked, how it was both only a couple of weeks ago yet it was also exactly nine years in the future. Why is he mourning a day that hasn’t technically happened yet? It’s a simple answer really, that was the day he thinks he last felt anything other than that horrible, thick, smothering, emptiness that seems to follow him around. Today, nine years from now, is the day that his world ended.

<>

How Klaus deals with being dropped in the past, ten days before the anniversary of Dave's death.

Words: 3494 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

you're getting on my (optic) nerves by untrustworthyglitch 

Klaus Hargreeves is many things. He's a former child superhero, an estranged brother, a drug addict, a frequent flyer at the local rehab facility. He can talk to the dead and never seems to die and loves a good thunderstorm.

He's also blind, but he wasn't always.

Part 1 of the blind!klaus (hazy, but hopeful) series

Words: 6,375 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

Scarlet Song by UrsaCentum(phantomviola) @flecket

Klaus isn’t a big fan of Hell.

drabble written for TUA AUgust 2021 Day 25: Angel/Demon

Part 6 of the Ursa's AUgust Fills 2021 series

Words: 100 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

never felt so high (think i'm coming down) by wewhofightmonsters

“Dave,” he whispers, and he leans down to press a kiss, light as a summer breeze, to Dave’s forehead, “Dave, I’m a fucking idiot. I love you back. I love you back.” And as he says it, he knows it to be true, and that small, closed up part of him that has languished in the dark and the constant haze of drugs, unfurls and stretches out towards the light. “I love you back,” he says again, in wonder.

(Klaus and Dave, and second chances)

Words: 24,536 Chapters: 8/? Status: WIP

Curl Conditioner by wormbcy @nastyworm

Klaus tidies up his supplies and puts it all back in the cabinet, and then hums to himself in thought.

"Hey Dave, space for another in there?"

Words: 6,524 Chapters: 1/1 Status: Complete

would it be enough (if I could never give you peace) by ZJpotter

The Hargreeves' and their sixties love. 

Chapter 2: Klaus, bugs, and the definiton of home. 

Words: 2,909 Chapters: 2/2  Status: Complete

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[tillman]

what if theoretically ur blog got me interested in arthurian lit n i wanted 2 know where i should start reading n what r ur fave stories if theoretically i knew how 2 read 👉👈

😳 woa that would... kinda be poggers 😳😳 I wish I could read but uhmm :-)

I think. After thinking on it. The best places to start if u dont have like. A single knight u wanna focus on is specifically of all things the dutch tradition..... their pieces are mostly short works following a central character doing some fun shit (and usually gawain is there. The dutch LOVE gawain...)

Specifically Morien which is a tale of a young knight trying to find his dad and subsequently getting adopted by Lancelot and Gawain !! Which is avalible online for free and i can reblog this w links in the morning too!!!!!! Also not morien Lancelot and the Hart With the White Foot is really killer. Its short gay and soo fun.... very worth the time. I scanned that one ill get it in the morning too :-)!!

One of my personal faves and how I was introduced to arthuriana is Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles, which is a modern ... version? Adaption? Of the vulgate cycle which is my absolute favorite arthurian lit. Its lancelots life story with a heavy focus on his love of Galehaut. Gay and fun and makes me cry like a baby. I also scanned that !

Uhhmmm assorted things. Ive been posting about it a lot but Gottfrieds Tristan is online in english for free and the one thing that got me INTO medieval lit. Translatons dont do his work justice but its a gorgeous text, just very like. Not arthuriana. The legends are explicitly legends in that work so its not a good intro piece to the larger body, just to Tristan and Isolde.

OH DUH also sir gawain and the green knight. Its kinda the go to but its a gorgeous poem about gawain and a beheading game !! U can find translations easily. Its a good like. Intro piece I think!

Anddd after u get a taste try out Malory’s Le Morte D’Arthur (dw its not french). Which is basically combining all the stories into one. Its more an adaption of an adaption of the vulgate but some bits are really exceptional and its kinda the like. Main basis for a lot of arthurian discussion . Its importance is vast but god malory blows sometimes (A WHOLE BOOK ABOUT BALIN... ON GOD?)

Some tips: feel free to skip battles. They go on for pages. Theyre boring. They add nothing. Youre not like. Missing out lol I promise as someone whos read them all.

If u dont like a text like... look around. Theres stuff for everyone ! Some are more romance, some are more political, some are more gawain killing thousands of people. Its a mixed bag !

Uhmmmm yea o hope this helps at all also I WILL rb with links im jsut on my phone so I cant rlly grab all my sources rn 😔 I hope.... u enjoy.... I rlly rlly love these books hehe

[pruinesce-a2]

about all your recent posts for fuyumi i can understand how she feels & the constant fear & anxiety she has. to have incompatible parents & your the eldest so it's always a small trigger could make everything fall apart & your trying your best to keep everything together. you over analyze everything action and word to know if things are still okay or is something going to happen? to want everyone and everything to be fine. the amount of responsibility (1/2)

and sometimes you do want to just crash but you physically can't because it's how you've trained your mind to be always 'breath ur fine breath it's okay breath & get up & fix things it'll get better one day. maybe' you wish you had someone who could take off the weight for just a little bit but what if they don't do it right, what if that means i'm getting weak what if what if what if and it is just a nightmare (2/2)

Also because fuyumi's situation reminds me of mine, you feel terrified of romance and don't believe it actually exists, you have the fear of this repeating but with your own family and you dont want your kids to go through the same thing. Also you've never been responsible for only yourself so you're wondering if you ever will figure out who "you" are really. There's so much of yourself defined by the situation you are in that if it's gone, you don't know who you are (3/2 😭😭)

i’m incoherent bc i just got outta class but yes to pretty much all of this. and also, my friend, me too ! fuyumi is a HUGE comfort character of mine because i relate to her so much for the same reasons - and now i wanna go bit by bit n talk about all the stuff you mentioned because i’ve mentioned it in pieces on this blog but never in full and i just go crazy thinking about her. 

trigger warnings for child abuse, death, and just. general unpleasantness.

first of all in all honesty, there’s really no situation in which endeavor could ever be compatible ( which isn’t a jab at you - just want it to be clear that this is beyond parents that don’t get along ! ). he’s straight up abusive and drove his wife to a complete mental break, as well as, as i’ve said before, y’know. beating the shit out of his kids. i wanna also clarify some things on the timeline before i get started ( i’m not sure if you’ve watched/read bnha, but also this is for my mutuals that haven’t ) - fuyumi is now the eldest living. the todorokis had four kids: touya, the firstborn, then fuyumi, then natsuo, and then shouto. and i want to follow that by linking you to this page, where we find out that..... touya died AFTER rei’s breakdown and subsequent hospitalization.

AFTER.

i honestly don’t know the timeline of touya and shouto’s training.... bc in this panel we see that baby touya didn’t have any burn marks, no bandages, he was fully capable of playing and running around. i also think if he would have been trained the same way shouto was, rei’s break would’ve come a lot sooner, and we wouldn’t have panels like this - i think before shouto, while the todoroki family was incredibly dysfunctional, they still had some semblance of a normal family, and that’s why fuyumi is so desperate to try to have a family again; because she knows and has seen that they were a family, or at least were in her understanding as a child. this seems particularly reinforced for me because natsuo, in the light novel, talks about how he always wanted endeavor’s attention as a kid! he thought it was unfair that shouto was the one who was getting it all, so it implies to me that.... one, they had no idea at first, and two, they had to have had at least a decent relationship with him before.

so i think what happened was.... after shouto’s quirk manifested, endeavor began to change. he started training shouto because he developed the quirk he wanted, all that stuff we already know, and the stress of it all drove rei into pouring the boiling water on shouto, and then we know she was put into psychiatric care. fuyumi was 12.

rei leaving was, obviously, hard on all of them. i think fuyumi was the most disconnected from her mother, because rei saw so much of herself in fuyumi and couldn’t stand it at times. natsuo in the light novel also mentioned he didn’t mind the lack of attention because he had his mom! so it hurt fuyumi, a lot, but she was able to be strong for them because a) she was older and b) she and her mother had a strained relationship anyway.

i headcanon fuyumi was the one who found rei and shouto. she heard the kettle whistle, the screaming and crying from the kitchen, and when she rounded the corner she saw her mother and shouto on the floor as we’ve seen in canon. it was incredibly scarring. fuyumi gets frequent flashbacks and invasive imagery from this event, especially when she hears that kettle whistle / sees her brothers in the kitchen. i’ve said it over and over but she hates them being there, shouto in particular - and i think this is backed up in the light novel when she immediately makes the boys leave the kitchen after shouto tries to come in and help.

i also think endeavor thought shouto was ruined after that. his “masterpiece” was ruined because there was a very strong possibility he’d never recover from that injury, and so endeavor, in desperation, turned to his first-born son as a replacement. his wife definitely wasn’t going to be giving him any more kids, and shouto as far as he knew was out of commission. fuyumi had an ice quirk and natsuo was practically quirkless, if not ENTIRELY quirkless. but touya.... had his flames. i don’t think endeavor initially wanted to train him because he wasn’t the perfect combination that he kept trying for with rei - but here, he’d reached his own breaking point, and touya was the only option left to continue his legacy.

but it’s implied endeavor pushed too hard, or was somehow directly involved in touya’s “death.” i put this in quotes because y’know, dabi is a todoroki theory. and this obviously just made things worse. i’m linking to this page again because it says that rei got worse, too, so much so that she couldn’t see shouto anymore - but it also implies to me that natsuo and fuyumi would still visit. but anyway ! touya dies, rei gets worse, and surely soon after endeavor finds out that shouto, while he’d have that scar on his face, would recover... and still be able to be trained.

so ummm.... now i can talk about fuyumi. all that and we’re JUST getting to her.

i’m kind of starting from the last ask here, but you’re entirely right - since the age of 13, fuyumi has never been able to define herself. from here on, she was entirely shaped by her trauma, and by roles she was never supposed to have fulfilled - i.e., motherhood. as a reminder, shouto was 5-6, natsuo was 9-10, and fuyumi, at age 13-14, truly began to step in rei’s place. so fuyumi starts taking care of the two of them while touya was the one who became isolated while he was trained. and like i said in a couple other posts, her brothers rejected her mothering them at first - i.e. natsuo lashing out and saying she’s NOT their mother and shouldn’t act like it, and shouto begging for their mom all the time and not understanding where she went. fuyumi barely had her own time to process what was happening and process the loss of her mother.

and then touya died. fuyumi probably feels partially responsible for his death, too, in the same way she and natsuo have said felt responsible for not helping shouto - she often thinks she could’ve done or said something to prevent that, too. and as you said, she overanalyzes everything and she’s incredibly hypervigilant to her father’s moods, because his satisfaction is, essentially, paramount to survival. touya died because he couldn’t meet her father’s standards, or maybe because he made endeavor angry, or whatever the case.

and you’re also right about the fact that she has no one to share the burden with - or, at the very least, feels like it. the one time natsuo tried to make it easier on her by cooking dinner, their father forbade him from never doing it again. i can only imagine what this fight looked like, and how scared fuyumi was of something so small turning into something irreparable. fuyumi says on this page they “take turns”, but i only think it ever happens when endeavor’s not home.

not to mention, as a defense and coping mechanism, became the image of a perfect mother to her brothers, and a perfect daughter to her father. always putting the boys first - i headcanon when either of them were sick, fuyumi would stay home from school to take care of them. always making sure her father was pleased and mediating between him and the boys. she developed this personality that consists of nothing but love and gentleness and understanding. i talked about this in my post about her and complex ptsd, but i’ll add the relevant excerpt here, too:

it’s also very common for these survivors to re-experience emotions from trauma intrusively - particularly when triggered. these feelings are often disproportionate to the present situation, but are equal to the intensity of what was required of them at the time of a trauma – also known as an emotional flashback.

fuyumi’s trauma has always put her in situations where she plays the peacemaker, the level head, the kind and gentle and understanding one. and because fuyumi is CONSTANTLY re-traumatized and exposed to her triggers because that entire house is one, it’s become her entire personality.

so fuyumi doesn’t really get to discover herself, at all, outside her trauma. her live revolves entirely around her brothers and her father. i think this also contributes to her desperation to repair her family now, because.... she doesn’t know what else is beyond that.

she’s stuck here. she can’t heal or move on right now.

fuyumi is a busybody because she KNOWS if she ever stops moving, she’ll crash, as you said. and it happens on occasion - but always behind closed doors. she has these.... quiet breaks, before she’s “fine” and moving on the next day. shouto and natsuo have never seen this side of her. she keeps this perfect facade of being put together tight under wraps.

i think the last thing to address with this ask is the aspect of romance and family - and once again, my dear friend, you’ve hit the nail on the head ! to start, fuyumi is deeply afraid of romance. she’s in love with the idea of it, as we can tell from her obsession with soap operas and trashy novels, but in reality it takes a long, long time for fuyumi to ever feel comfortable enough to define or initiate things between herself and someone else. it’s why she’s also always involved in people who are very straightforward, who won’t keep secrets from her, because she needs clarity in a relationship always. not to even mention a family of her own - fuyumi is so terrified of becoming her mother. even now, it’s why she refuses to let her brothers in the kitchen with her - because she knows how alike they are.

what’s really incredible to me is that despite all of that, fuyumi’s love and optimism and empathy and all that kindness and gentleness for the world is still very real and true. you can see it in the way she smiles, it’s in the way she sees the little things in people and remembers them, it’s in the unconditional love and understanding she gives to her friends and partners, the care she takes in tending to the family garden, the attention to her students - she truly embodies the good of humanity, the good of people - an aspect of her character that i love is how entirely mundane she is, and yet... she’s so, so special. her path to healing will always begin with forgiveness (though once she’s able to get away from endeavor, she’ll never be around him again), because she’s not a person that can live with anger in her heart, and i will always love how that’s presented as an entirely valid thing to do.

as a final addendum to this post, nearly no one knows about any of that. fuyumi won’t talk about it unless it’s entirely unavoidable, and even then she tries to make excuses and dance around it. like.... she stops up, she can’t speak. she freezes and completely stops functioning. ironic considering how openly her brothers will talk about it.

so anyways. i don’t think you expected this long winded answer, but i couldn’t help myself. thanks for sending this in !

[jthebeauty]

Jeeeeeeen! I saw that you said you were one the ace spectrum and I’m curious as to how you realize that? I’m questioning my own sexuality rn and a lot of info online is confusing to me LOL. You dont have to answer if you aren’t comfortable tho ofc!

hey nonnie :) ofc we can talk about it! i’m more than comfortable with sharing my story & experience. <3

cw: first kiss, kissing in general, sex talk, sti mention, children mentions, relationships. long post ahead.

growing up, i always naturally admired the romantic aspects in a relationship.

things like dates, breakfast-in-bed, writing love letters, holding hands, cooking meals together, taking silly photos together, (and all that other sappy stuff) really shaped what i desire in a relationship. fun fact; ever since i was 8 or so, i knew i wanted to spend my honeymoon in paris, france (the city of love they call it 😌).

i need to go back into my past a lil’ so you can see where i’m coming from & where it started. 😬 sorry if you get a lil’ uncomfy. 😭🙏🏽

so. i had my first kiss in kindergarten with a handsome guy; a handsome guy who i’d probably still be nervous around as adults. idk, i haven’t seen him in person since i was 14. anyways, i was five years old at the time & the memory of our kiss still runs in my mind here n there.

we liked each other again in grade 6 & we communicated via sticky notes (bc we couldn’t talk during the lesson). 😭 but yeah, he cared a lot about my feelings & always knew when something was up. he’d rub me on the back & talk with me to make me feel better— he was genuinely a sweetheart.

so at 11 years old, due to my “kiddy crush/relationship” experiences with that guy, i viewed relationships as something cute & romantic.

sex was never really on my mind throughout middle school unless it concerned p.e. (physical education). but if anything, p.e. most likely contributed to how i am today. in health class, we talked about sti’s n stuff & i just remember being like umm… if i were to have sex, it’d have to be with someone i know really well & trust. i still feel this way today.

all of that wasn’t planned though, that’s just how it naturally was in my mind— even with peers constantly discussing who did what with who and where around me. sex talk (& rumours of that kind of stuff) were always around me, yet it never interested me or sparked curiosity within me.

i didn’t know for sure that i was on the ace spectrum till high school.

i started speculating when i was about 15 or so (after i had kissed my best friend romantically… more than once). i was able to confirm this once i had my first serious relationship at 16– borderline 17.

i was always excited for the romantic stuff like dates, texting good morning/night messages, even taking polaroid pictures together (once again, sex or anything beyond kissing wasn’t really on my mind for some reason). we even used to call each other practically every day once school ended & we parted ways. real sappy stuff lol.

i also need to add that we didn’t date until we had known each other (as friends) for a good 9-10 months. i knew of my ex since grade 9, but we didn’t become friends until grade 10.

my ex isn’t the first person i have kissed romantically, but they were another person who i had kissed after having some sort of close friendship with (or else it wouldn’t have happened to begin with).

in conclusion, i was in a +2.5 year relationship with my ex. i take relationships seriously, as i’m not one to do flings, one-night stands, situationships, or hook-ups/sneaky links. they don’t interest me one bit & i honestly kinda forget those kind of things exist (i think mainly bc of the pandemic & i’m under the assumption that people aren’t going out as often as they used to).

looking over everything that i can recall from my life, i lowkey consider myself a hopeless romantic LOL. i often read erotic romance novels that revolve around forbidden romance, enemies-to-lovers & stuff of that nature. i was (& still am) obsessed with romance.

i can experience sexual attraction, i’m not completely disinterested in the idea of sex. i want to have kids one day & get married— it’s just a matter of who.

i came to the conclusion that i strongly identify as demisexual & graysexual. i bounce between the two bc i really can’t just pick one. and it’s more than okay if you find yourself in this situation too— you don’t have to pick one & stick to it.

when my ex & i were together, i did experience sexual attraction (bc we had an emotional connection/bond + romantic feelings), but the more we got settled into our relationship, the less those sexual feelings would pass in my mind. i’m the kind of lover that shows my love & affection by cuddling, talking, or helping my partner— stuff of that nature.

for me it was just a matter of thinking “would i do this with a stranger just because they’re attractive?” or “would i do a fwb situation with ____?” and the answer to those kind of questions would be no. i’m just not interested or appealed by the idea of doing things like that with someone who i’m not romantically AND emotionally involved with. the only way we’re doing that, is if we’re mutually romantically AND emotionally involved with each other.

i guess you could say that sex is something “special” to me as well. i just seriously can’t do it with anyone— not even if i find them attractive, it takes so much more than that. but on the other hand, i’m just more of a romantic person anyways.

irl sex is never really at the forefront of my mind & if it is, it’s gone within a few seconds of reflecting on it. in fact, i kind of cringe thinking on past sexual incidents with my ex… like my brain just won’t allow me to reminisce about them & i’m actually glad bc i just don’t feel like purposefully thinking about irl sex anyways. 😭

sorry for the long post! i just really wanted to be transparent with you. but the above is mainly why i see myself on the ace spectrum. it took me a good 4-5 years to come this realization, so i really do feel you nonnie.

if there’s anything you wanna know further, feel free to swing on by again or message me on discord (if you have me there). i really do wish you all the best in navigating your sexuality, it seriously can be reallyyy confusing (especially with the internet as you said).

sending kisses to you my love. take care. 😚❤️

[clumsyclifford]

you are the taste of something sweet (and i’m tangled in the sheets)

hi i couldnt sleep so i wrote sleepy morning jalex and now i still cant sleep so im posting it. at 6am yes yes move on

this takes place in the same ‘verse as all hung up like i was on you (tumblr link), the fic based on t-shirt by thomas rhett. it might be better to read that first but if u dont feel like it then all u need to know is alex is a middle school teacher, jack has an office job, they are boyfriends yeah that’s all

this is fluffy fluff and i don’t think there are even any tws on it so!! fun for the whole family. (i mean there’s swearing but. at this point it’s a given)

title from holly (would you turn me on?) absolutely chuffed as they say to be finally using that as a title. just totally stoked i cant lie

read it here on ao3

Later, when Alex is more eloquent, he'll say that Jack is golden.

Or, no. More like Jack takes golden light and weaves it into something new, some gleaming…well, something. The point is that later on Alex will have the words, but right now he doesn't.

Right now, he just has the picture, but what a beautiful picture it is.

Jack is still asleep. Alex doesn't fault him, since it's Saturday and he's only just woken up himself, even though the clock has informed him it's half past noon and the sun is already high in the sky. Alex could move. He could get up, pull on some sweats, and shuffle into the kitchen to make some mid-afternoon coffee and brunch (breakfast eaten at lunchtime). Sure. He could.

But God, Jack is so gorgeous.

It's been a little while since Alex has had the opportunity just to watch Jack sleep. He watches Jack whenever he can, watches him shouting at the Orioles on TV (because honestly they could not possibly have chosen a less competent team to back), watches him pore over documents Alex still doesn't quite understand the nature of, watches him when he drives Alex home, windows down, breeze ruffling through his clothes and hair, singing terribly along with whatever early 2000s pop punk song happens to come on shuffle. It's so easy to watch him because there's always something to see; Jack is motion manifested, always on, always shifting like ripples in water, never quite the same on a second glance. 

But now, though. Now is special. Moments like these are special, because for once Jack is still, and what a stunning still photograph he makes. Long eyelashes over sharp cheekbones, dark hair contrasted against the white pillowcase, the blanket falling just low enough that his left shoulder is exposed, ink from the tattoo sprawling over tan skin. Alex could drink it in for the rest of his life, and he doubts he'd ever grow tired.

It must be a few minutes, but Alex is happy not to keep track. Eventually Jack stirs, and his eyelids twitch before he opens his eyes, slowly. When his gaze meets Alex's, he smiles, lazily.

"G'morning," he says huskily. The sleep hasn't cleared from his voice. Alex hopes it never does. 

"Morning," he answers.

"Time?"

"Don't ask." 

Jack breathes a tired laugh at that. "How long you been up?"

Alex feels a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Ten minutes, maybe."

"And you've been just sitting here watching me sleep?" Jack's eyes flutter shut as he smiles. "Creep."

Alex can't help it; he reaches out, fingertips landing on Jack's face, thumb tracing underneath his eye. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs. Jack exhales quietly, happily. "I love waking up with you." Wish I could do it every day, he means.

They haven't discussed it, but maybe it's time they do.

"You're not so bad yourself," Jack says warmly in return, but he doesn't open his eyes. 

Alex drags the pad of his thumb down Jack's jaw, then brushes over his cheek with the plane of his index finger, taking his time to trace the outline of the most beautiful face he's had the good fortune of falling in love with. Jack doesn't move, and his halfway smile doesn't waver as Alex smoothes his thumb over Jack's lips. "My Jack," he says softly. In the sanctuary of this morning, from the golden boy at the end of Alex's fingertips to the promise of sunshine and coffee when they finally get up, it's easy to add, "I love you."

At this Jack's smile does grow, and he finally opens his eyes. Alex can't even imagine what he sees. A man too far gone for his own good, probably. 

"Wait, say it again," he says. "I didn't get to look at you before."

It's so profoundly Jack that Alex has to swallow back a laugh. "I love you," he repeats, and the words taste like glitter and sunlight and Jack's smile is gold, pure gold.

"I love you too," he says, the most beautiful four-four measure Alex has ever heard, like Jack has somehow figured out a way to twist stardust into language; the shortest love song ever written, just for Alex's ears.

Alex smiles, and he knows he's not half as radiant as Jack when he does, but it's not like he could stop himself. To be in love with Jack is a privilege all by itself; for Jack to be in love with him, Alex thinks he must have been some kind of Odyssean hero in a past life.

"We should get up," Jack finally says, and Alex realizes he's lapsed into silence again, drinking in the sight of Jack once more. "At some point."

"Nah," Alex says. He threads his fingers through Jack's hair and shifts closer, until Jack rolls onto his back and Alex can lean over him, arms braced against the pillow. "I disagree."

"Oh, well, in that case," Jack says dryly, but he hasn't stopped smiling since his eyes opened to meet Alex's.

"We should stay here forever," Alex suggests. He ducks down and presses a kiss to Jack's cheek, and Jack giggles. "We should stay here," and he drops another kiss on Jack's other cheek, "and never go anywhere," his temple, "or see anyone," his nose, "or do anything else forever," and he starts trailing kisses down the line of Jack's jaw.

"We'll both be fired," Jack says pragmatically.

Alex shakes his head. "Don't care. We'll become hermits. I'm pretty sure hermits get a monthly check from, like, Hermits United."

"I think you watch too much Doctor Who."

Somehow this startles a laugh out of Alex, and he pulls away for a moment to look Jack in the face. "But you got the reference, so who's the real geek?"

When Jack laughs this time, Alex feels it vibrate against his lips where he's leaving soft kisses down the line of Jack's throat. "Oh, God. This is my worst nightmare. You've made me a Doctor Who fan." Then, "If anyone was going to corrupt me, of course it would be you."

Alex pulls back again, smiling in the gleaming light of Jack's fond look. "I hardly think Doctor Who is how I'm going to corrupt you. Didn't I just suggest we both get sacked and hole up in your apartment?"

"That's true." Jack skims a hand up Alex's chest and curls his fingers around Alex's neck. "I kinda liked that idea, though. Tell me more."

Alex hums. "Well, I can promise you it will involve a lot of this," and he dips down to kiss Jack on the lips, slowly, intently, savoring every second, committing the taste to memory in case anyone ever asks him what sunlight tastes like. 

Jack smiles against Alex's mouth, so Alex moves back just a breath. "I'm convinced," Jack mumbles. His fingernails scratch lightly at the back of Alex's neck, at the ends of his hair. "I'm in. Let's do it."

Alex chuckles and lowers himself down, kissing Jack again with absolutely no intention of stopping, and Jack lets him, and after a moment Alex thinks of something to say that requires breaking the kiss, so he does.

"Move in with me?" he asks.

Jack hums. "You should move in with me," he says. "All your shit is here anyway, and I live closer to your school."

"Sounds like you've thought about it."

"I have," says Jack. "A lot. I've been thinking about it for a long time."

Something about that makes Alex's heart skip a beat. "I'd love to move in with you," he says, a little breathless. "God, I fucking love you."

Jack gazes at Alex, deep, earnest brown eyes as sincere as they'd been the first day they'd met. "Alright, gig's up," he says. "I already said you can move in. You can stop the bribe now."

Alex laughs and hides his face in Jack's neck, barely moving his lips to brush a kiss over his collarbone. "No way, babe. I have weeks of not saying it to make up for."

"Weeks, huh?"

"Yeah, weeks."

"Oh, well. That's alright then." Jack's arms are tight around Alex's neck. "I love you. I'd love you more if you made coffee."

"This love can't be conditional," Alex protests. 

"It's not conditional! I'm just saying if you made coffee I'd love you even more."

"Choosing to believe you already love me the maximum amount," Alex says airily, "but I will make you coffee anyway, because I'm that nice."

Jack sighs contentedly. "You know, I always think I love you the maximum amount," he says reflectively, "but then every day I fall more in love with you. So I'm starting to think there might not be a limit."

Alex's heart skips another beat. That might become a problem if it continues. "Holy fuck, that's romantic," he says, because it is, and then, fervently, "Me too, by the way."

He feels Jack giggle. "Well, I woke up and the first thing you did was call me beautiful. I'm just trying to keep up at this point."

Alex wonders how he ever existed without Jack, and he sends up a silent prayer to whoever's listening that he never has to again. He shifts, rolling onto his side and pulling Jack with him, because his arms are getting kind of tired, and affords Jack a grin. "I meant it," he promises. "You are. So gorgeous. I wish I could just look at you forever."

"But then how would you watch Doctor Who?"

Alex laughs. "Good point. I take it back. I wish I could look at you forever except for forty-five minutes twice a week."

"That's more like it." Jack moves to cup Alex's face in his hand, and his smile is so soft, so quiet, something only for Alex to see. "I don't think I mentioned, but you're also beautiful, Alex. You're just." He sweeps his thumb over Alex's cheek. "I wish I knew more words, or more languages, or something, so I could figure out how to say what I'm trying to say."

And Alex thinks maybe he understands, because if it's anything like what Alex has been trying to say then he knows already there are no words for it in any language. It's not something that gets said; it's a feeling, or maybe a moment, and it's in the room right now, settling like a blanket over them both. "I know," he whispers, letting his eyes close, letting Jack lean in and kiss him gently, leisurely, like they have all the time in the world, and maybe they do.

(Sometime later, Alex will find his best approximations for what they're both grasping at right now. It'll start with I remember when I woke up the morning you first told me you loved me, my first thought was, "Wow, this man is golden," and it'll end with I do.)

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

The Intern (CliffxReader)

Requested by @perawuat​

Let me know if you want me to add you on the OUATIH taglist! :)

"Y/n? You comin' or what?" Your roommates stopped and looked to you for an answer.

You shook your head with a sigh, "Not tonight, sorry guys."

One of your friends, Ziggy, raised her eyebrow, "Oh come on, Y/n. Live a little!"

There was a party on campus. One of the many....many parties you'd bailed out on that month alone.

They just weren't your scene.

You were a bit old fashioned. More of an intellectual.  You liked cafes, ballets, and developing photos. Your friends loved clubs, protests, and being in those photos. Most of your friends were hippies, and whether you liked to admit it or not, they kept you balanced up with the times.

Your other roommate, Rowan, nodded, and nudged you a little with his elbow, "Come on! It's gonna be far out, man!"

Your other friend, Odie, adjusted their collar, "I heard there's gonna be some cats from Berkeley, baby!"

You sighed.... Berkeley kids were known to be on another level of hippy-ness.

Ziggy wrapped her hands around your forearm and bounded up and down with pleading, wide eyes, "USC kids are coming through, come on!"

You studied at UCLA, USC also happened to be a bit of a party school, and was also a rival school. It was  certain there'd be a fight or two added to the expected chaos.

"There's gonna be booze, dudes, and no narcs! C'mon, it'll be groovy, baby!" Odie held their hands in the air, vibing and dancing with the wind, "Live a little, Y/n!"

You shook your head, your arms crossed over your books across your chest "Maybe next time, guys." Rowan groaned, "Aw don't be such a drag, Y/n!"

You smiled a little, "You guys go ahead. Catch you tomorrow?"

You walked to the end of the block together. They'd cross the street to get to the party, you'd keep walking down the block to get to your dorm.

There was a parking lot on the corner. It was empty save for a single trailer.

As you waited for the lights to change you all looked into the lot.

Rowan leaned in, and whispered "I heard it belongs to professor McHarris. Say his wife ditched him and how he lives in a trailer."

Odie shook their head, and rolled their eyes with a sigh, "Ugh boys. Who told you that? I heard..." They leaned into the circle, and muttered in annoyance, "It's. Just. Abandoned. Here."

Rowan frowned in disbelief, "Who'd abandon a perfectly good trailer?!"

Odie shrugged, pulling on a pair of shades as they squinted against the setting sun, "Who wouldn't?"

Ziggy, a theater major, and naturally a lover of storytelling, smirked as she leaned in. "Well...I heard some weird stuff goes on in there. Some cult leader or something crashes there late at night after he goes PSYCHO."  She waved her fist around like Norman Bates and laughed as the rest of you stepped back and shuddered in horror.

The light turned green and your friends waved goodbye.

You turned and walked down the block as they crossed the street.

You sighed as you climbed up the stairs to your apartment and opened the door. You sat down, and stacked your books and projects up, and started working. You didn’t like parties, but you liked fun and adventures. You liked doing your own thing, sometimes. But, right now you had some work to do...  You could have sworn you'd studied the whole night through.

You slammed the books shut. Your eyes were dry and tired from all the reading. You sighed and looked up at the wall. You had strung up photographs you'd developed over the weekend. Some of them were a bit questionable, a little on the avant-garde side of art. But all in all, your work was a masterpiece. The rows of strung up pictures were just a snippet of your impressive portfolio.

Consequently, you'd just gotten an internship in Hollywood on a set.

You were starting the next morning, and looking forward to it, though you were understandably nervous about it.

It was also part of the reason you didn't really want to go to the party..

True, you could have gone just for an hour or two...but acid and protest tunes weren't really up your alley. Maybe a cigarette, gin and tonic, and some Rat Pack records.

Your roommates and friends were probably talking about a protest that would happen on campus next week. But, that also wasn't your thing. You just weren't comfortable with crowds and loud noise. Mysteries.. Now that was where it was at.

At least to you.

You looked at your watch, expecting it to be 3 or 4 am... It was only midnight.

The night was still young.

And you were restless.

You stood up... For once in your life you were going to be impulsive and assertive. You were going to do something crazy.

You were going to find out who the hell really lived in the trailer.

You pulled on your denim jacket, and put on your red go-go boots, rushed out the door, and down the stairs, rushing to the parking lot before you lost your new found sense of curiosity.

You wrapped your fingers against the chain link fence, your eyes zeroing in on the lone trailer in the center of the dark lot.

You sighed, trying to force yourself to do one exciting thing with your life. "Don't be a drag. Don't be a drag, don't be a drag..."

You trudged through the darkness and hovered around the trailer. It was dark and silent. Maybe Odie was right. Maybe it really was just abandoned...

Or maybe...

Maybe Rowan was right. It was rare, but he had his moments.... Maybe that professor really was just trying to get by...

Or...horrifically but also possibly,  what if Ziggy was right?! She always had hear-say and gossip down to a t... Besides...

Serial killers weren't not a thing in big cities.... What if this cult leader rumor was real?!

You were close to the door..  You didn't even knock on the door when you heard a guttural growl and a loud bark.

You fell back in fear, and pushed back on your heels and palms.

You unexpectedly ran into something...

You turned around, feeling cold with fear, "Holy shit it's the serial killer..."

You looked up and he looked down.

He was wearing sunglasses for some reason...

You held your breath, "Definitely a serial killer."

He wore a denim jacket over a black shirt.

He reached down and pulled you up, with a seemingly, and oddly friendly smile. "She doesn't bite." He threw his cigarette onto the ground and put it out with his foot.

"Wh...who are..." He was kinda cute... A bit on the older side. And...also still probably a serial killer.

"My dog. Her name's Brandy." He shrugged matter-of-factly, as he looked through a key ring.

You sighed calming yourself down a bit, reasoning that a serial killer wouldn't be human enough to have a dog. You hoped...

He started to unlock the door as he clicked to calm his dog down. "So any particular reason why a kid like you's fuckin' around here and isn't home and asleep?" "Why wouldn't a kid like me be out?" You thought you had him. He shrugged, "Out in the street alone where there's some real creeps?"

"You're not a creep, are ya?"

He chuckled a little " No. I dont think so at least."

You smiled a little as he sat on his makeshift porch, his dog sitting by his side.

"I'm not a kid anyway. I'm twenty-two."

He chuckled a little. He remembered what it was like to be so young, "So why aren't you at a club or a party or a protest or somethin'?"

You shrugged a little "Not really my scene."

"So you're not a hippy?" He sighed a little, a bit more at ease. Even if they were for peace and all, they made Cliff Booth a little uneasy, which wasn't an easy thing to do itself.

"Not really. And you.... Youre not a m..." You bit your lip. Why would a murderer admit to being a murderer?

"A what?"

"Well... Your trailer popped up out of nowhere and there's been... rumors about you..."

Cliff chuckled a little. He wasn't quite a star in Hollywood but rumors always managed to keep him in the spotlight.

"Yeah? What kinda rumors?" He petted Brandy as she laid her head on his leg.

"The best one was you were either a professor that got divorced and lost everything. Or a culty serial killer."

He laughed, "That's crazy talk."

"Yeah...so...who are you?"

He took his glasses off and you saw his beautiful blue eyes under the moonlight. "My name's Cliff. What about you, intruder?"

"Intruder?!"

He nodded, a little amused by your response, "Pokin' around somebody's home at midnight? Makes you an intruder."

"Student parking lot. You are ...probably not a student right, Cliff?" You smirked a little.

"Touche, kid. So...intruders are strangers. You don't wanna be a stranger, right?"

You laughed, "Guess not." You shrugged, "My name's Y/n. I study photography there." You pointed to a building down two blocks, looming like a castle over the new city lights.

Cliff whistled a little, "UCLA. Nice school. You know what you're gonna do when you're through?"

You nodded, "I graduate in a few months. And I just got an internship on some set in Hollywood. I start tomorrow. I wanna work cameras for movies some day. Guess this is how I'll start."

Cliff smiled, "Sounds like a dream, kiddo. Good luck out there." Cliff knew more than anyone that Hollywood was a cut throat place.

He meant it when he wished you luck.

And something about the way he said it let you know that. "Thanks Cliff," You smiled, until you looked around the parking lot and the dark streets. A few hours from then it would be awake with cops raiding the parties and kids scrambling to get to their dorms.

"You gonna be ok, old timer?"

Cliff laughed a little, "Does get loud around here sometimes. College was never really my thing."

"No?"

He shook his head "Nah. I got drafted."

"Heavy."

"Yeah... So I move around every now and then to keep things fresh. There's an empty lot behind this theater. I've been thinkin' of movin' out there next."

You felt a little sad for him. It felt so lonesome out there at night.

You asked again "You gonna be ok, Cliff?"

He smiled a little, "I get by, kid. Don't worry. You go out there, show em whatchu got tomorrow, ok?"

You nodded, "Thanks again, mister," you smiled as you started walking away. "See you around, Cliff!"

You waved back at him and he waved back with a soft smile and a sigh, "See ya,  kid."

And...he did...

You were an intern on a set that you knew nothing about.

"Alright L/n. When the director says action you're gonna move down here with this camera. When you get to the third line you have to zoom in on Rick."

"Rick?" Your mentor of sorts nodded "Yeah. Rick fucking Dalton."

Your jaw dropped, "Rick Dalton? Like Bounty Law- Rick Dalton?!"

The cameraman nodded understanding you were star struck. You were fairly young so you'd probably grown up watching his shows. "Yeah. And. After lunch were gonna work with his stunt double over on the horses. That guy's crazy. His name's Cliff."

What were the odds...

"Cliff?"

You heard a third, familiar voice. "Yeah?"

The camernan smiled, "Speak of the devil!"

You turned around and sure enough there he was.

Cliff....

He took off his sunglasses, trying to figure out if it was really you. "Y/n?"

You smiled "Hi!"

He laughed "Well I'll be damned! This is where you're working!?"

You smiled and nodded "Yeah!"

Cliff smiled. He wanted to make sure you didn't end up like him. He knew a few names that might come in handy for you. He wanted to make sure you were alright.

Cliff didn't do that for many people...

Frankly...Well, he liked you.

And Cliff Booth didn't like many people.

He wasn't too social. A bit like you...

Somehow Rick convinced you to go to a Hollywood party with them.

Cliff had to go because Rick needed a ride, as always. And you went because you just wanted to spend some time with them.

They were quickly becoming some of your closest friends.

Cliff was becoming a little more than a friend, a little less than a fling.

But you wanted it to be so much more.

Cliff left you and Rick to get some drinks for the three of you.

Rick laughed as you told him the story of how you and Cliff met.  "A serial killer?!" He laughed and wiped away a tear, "Wait till you hear the rumors about him around Hollywood!"

You laughed a little but then Rick noticed something was wrong. You were worrying about something as you looked around at the producers, directors, and actors.

"What's goin' on sweetheart?"

"You think I'll make it?"

He lowered his cigarette and asked, "You shot the Mexican stand-off scene in this week's episode?"

You nodded, "Yeah...? Shit...did someone say something? Fuck did I blow it?!"

Rick shook his head, "Oh, no, no, no! You did great! You're all they talk about in the editing room!  You're gonna make it out here, kid."

Rick realized that couldn't be the only thing in your mind. He followed your eyes over to Cliff at the other side of the party.

Rick smiled a little as he murmured so only you could hear, "You know he really likes you?"

You smiled a little, "Ah, you’re just saying that."

Rick laughed and gestured to Cliff, "You really think he gets that cleaned up for just anybody, Y/n? You've seen him on set."

You giggled "I guess you're right."

Cliff made his way through a crowd and made his way back to you and Rick.

He smiled at you, and you smiled at him.

Something told you Rick might have been right...

You were going to make it.

And you were going to have Cliff by your side.

[kashimos-hajime]

Hi! So I have a question, I’m a new writer to some fandoms and I was wondering if you had any advice on how to become a more well known writer / achieve more notes on works as a new writer in fandoms. I love writing and I really don’t put my stuff out solely for notes but, when I put effort into fics I just wish more people would reblog or comment, and I just wish I knew a better way to make my blog “bigger” or more well known :/

hi!!! welcome to writing for fandoms. it ain’t much but it’s fun. here’s some advice i can give to you below the cut :) this is all my opinion/my experience so keep that in your mind when you read.

1. tags are your best friend: exploit every tag relating to your content as possible. only the first 20 show up in the tags when people search them up so use those wisely. after you post, it’s also a good idea to just check that it showed up in the tags. most of the time, they do but it’s just good to double check.

2. links kill your posts: unless you’re certain that your stuff will show up, more often than not, links to other posts/websites will cause your post not to show up. it’s stupid but it’s how tumblr works now which is really annoying.

3. participate in writing challenges: a good way to get your name spread is by participating in a lot of writing challenges and to keep track of which ones youve entered. besides being an incredibly nice way to get feedback, more people see it. it’s also really fun to write with a specific prompt or song in mind.

4. interact with your community: if you have time, read some fics and reblog them, follow some other writing blogs. i have mutuals that i don’t talk to but i greatly enjoy seeing their blog on my dash and i tag them in things im tagged in for games. i try to respond to most of the reblogs/comments i get and all the asks i receive. if you think you can handle doing requests, inform your followers that they’re open and have them send stuff in or reblog prompt lists. don’t be afraid to be who you are on your blog bc most of the time, people follow you for the writing but there are a few who follow you for who you are as a blog owner as well. it’s about the personality too. sometimes, you can remind them at the end of the fic to leave a reblog/comment just to remind them after they’re done reading :)

5. keep an updated masterlist or a place where someone can find all your stuff easily: this is including drabbles, headcanons, etc. someone is more likely to follow if they know they can find your masterlist post that could be linked in your bio or a certain tag they can search up to find all of your stuff. it’s just easier to navigate. make it easily accessible!

6. timezone reblogs: SUPER helpful because when you post, only a certain amount of people will see it due to timezones. i normally reblog every 4 hours and schedule them onto my blog to be posted while i sleep as well. this is super helpful for keeping your work rotating through different tumblr user’s blogs and reach more people who might not have seen it otherwise bc they were busy, asleep, etc. also helps keep your work in the tags bc it boosts your notes. (i have examples of how i do timezone reblogs. you can search it up)

7. it’s your blog: write for whoever you feel like, in whatever genre, and do whatever you want. don’t be afraid to be multifandom and don’t think you have to write for a certain character or under a certain word limit for it to be successful. although there are certain popular characters that people are more likely to read and readers often like shorter fics full of fluff and smut and such, you can write whatever you want. i write angst A LOT even though my fluffier fics have done better. and that’s what i think is my trademark: super long fics and a lot of angst. it’s up to you to do what you want which leads to my next point.

7.5. remember that you can curate your own style and niche for your blog. if readers know you write for these characters, know your interests, they’ll be more likely to follow you. for example, i’ve gained more harry potter-related blogs as followers even though i have never posted hp writing on here that was like a one-shot or anything. i’ve just started reblogging hp content recently. some of my followers reblog the witcher posts that i reblog as well. some followers dont even follow me for my writing.

8. on a more aesthetic note/relating to 5: keep your posts tidy. make sure they’re fomatted correctly bc pasting from your writing app to tumblr is sometimes hell, and just make sure you always doublecheck your work. no one wants to read a big chunk of text or paragraphs that are single-spaced. there’s the trend where writers often add gifs/pictures to their posts which catches a reader’s eye and helps with the visual.

9. it takes time: don’t keep your expectations too high. sometimes, the thing you work for months on won’t do well and other things you worked on for like 20 mins will do extremely well. that’s just how life works sometimes. lately, tumblr has sucked at keeping likes/reblog ratio even at all and mostly, you’ll get more likes than reblogs/comments. it’ll suck, but at the end of the day, they’re the consumers. they respond to your fic how they see fit. but you’ll grow. sometimes you’ll have bursts of followers, sometimes they trickle in. mostly, once you get rolling, you sometimes get those bursts after you post a fic and people begin t o see it. lately, i’ve been getting a few followers a day and it slowly builds up. seriously, don’t worry about the “followers” number even though sometimes it’s all you can think about. one day, you’ll check and be pleasantly surprised by how many people follow you.

10. it’s mostly how much you write sometimes: i’m sure if i posted more i’d gain more followers but as it is, i write like one fic a month bc they’re normally on the longer side and burn me out pretty easily since i work on other writing projects beside the stuff i post on here and i am a senior in high school who is just tryna graduate at this point. potential followers like a blog that puts out work. however, this doesn’t mean force yourself to write. if you wanna get big, you also wanna present quality work that you’re proud of.

11. i’d say lastly, though this is not so important and therefore the last but not least platitude falls flat here, is that keep your blog active. i do this by keeping a queue running from 2am to 12pm aka from night to day. it’s just nice to be a presence on your followers dashes which keeps you present in their minds.

this is all i could think of but i hope this helps!! if you have any more questions, need any clarification, or anything of the sort, please don’t hesitate to send another ask or pm me.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Breaking Out”

MY TIME HAS FINALLY COME

ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA GO STUPID AAAAAAAAAAA ON TEXT POST THE TIME IS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL SOMNIE MODE ACTIVATED DONT LOOK AT ME (added mv instead so bc there are already TOO MANY pictures)

there are no read mores here so im sorry (im actually gonna apologize this time this is long™) IM GONNA BE VERY SPECIFIC

hella pictures, links, and words youve been warned™

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG i think a lot of us would agree that the introduction threw us off (i was also one of those people) but to be honest i dont mind it AT ALL?????? that kinda harmonizing sound during here and here i dunno what that is but i was vibing hard with it i really liked it and yeah it is different from their usual style but once i heaRD THAT GUITAR IT WAS OVER FOR ME I COULDNT- like i wanna bounce but i also wanna headbang at the same time

i mentioned this to gwen @wickymicky tho one thing i would say is i just WISH this song went harder??? i dunno how to describe it exactly but something heavier??? i wish i knew how to elaborate on what that means im sorry but i just know thats what i feel but other than that im very satisfied with this song!!!!!!

yoohyeon starts the song as if i wasnt vibrating with excitement already like her singing voice is just sounds so pleasant???? HIT ME WITH THAT SILENT NIGHT SILENT NIGHT i personally liked this part in the middle and how it built up into the chorus i FELT THAT IN MY BONES

MISS JIU YOUR VOICE its so soft yet powerful just like you GENERALLY LIKE HOW!!!!!!!!! youre literally the second person to sing and you got two things from me: 1. F UCKED UP and 2. my heart........................... like her bridge part just SO PERFECT LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-

S U A YOU CANT BE KILLING ME WITH NO WAY NO WAY LIKE WERE STILL IN AND THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT just something about her tone.................. im- pairing her with jiu for THIS my heart and my ears, yknow what ALL OF ME is just so happy and ‘you cant stop my heart’ well you sure stopped mine with your voice-

there is SO MUCH DAMI??????? THERE ARE TEARS???? IN MY EYES???? i was shocked to hear her so early on in the song but i welcomed it with open arms i love her deep voice so much her parts were nice (tho a little off as in not very ‘dami-like’ if you will not usual to her parts in their other songs) BUT when she was saying that part with love, lost, and hide it and her part at 2:31.......................... pls.....

HANDONG P L E A S E her parts at 0:40 and 1:39 were small but they sounded SO pleasant im cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a moot of mine mentioned in her tags somewhere about how handong’s voice sounds silky and like...................... thanks for saying it bc youre sO RIGHT like i cant even describe it in depth to yall bc it just makes me feeL GOOD hearing it!!!!!!!!

miss lee gahyeon hitting me with something gentle at 0:44 but then hitting me with this at 1:31 like with handong her parts are small but still impactful!!!! her voice is so nice to listen to like it sounds smooth??? i cant Words™ but yknow what im saying right-

SIYEON I COULD LITERALLY LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE FOREVER her voice for the chorus................ IM CRYING ITS SO CATCHY!!!!!!!!! SO BREAKING OUT OF THE DARK NIGHT is literally stuck in my head i cant- her voice is just SO unique right??? like its so powerful and it jUST H I T S YOU FULL FORCE side note: i found myself waving my hand with her when she sings bye bye thats so dorky of me leave me alone

THE DANCE L I S T E N i was PLANNING on trying my hand at gifs but i was impatient and we all know that pictures WILL NOT do this choreography justice but AS ALWAYS THEY COME THROUGH WITH SOME GOOD ASS CHOREO it doesnt hit as hard as their other dances but that doesnt bother me- there was a lot of Hands™ like a lot of emphasis on the hands and gestures (will mention more later) UUUUUM the dancing during the chorus with so much arm swinging and they all hit the air so hard with their elbows and fists i could really just feel that energy?? like all the effort and power they put into their dancing and to give it their all???? aka i feel tired just watching them dance

two parts i REALLY wanted to gif: 1. when yoohyeon does this with her hands up to 1:30................................... thanks and 2. this part with jiu and sua together................................... thanks x2

BONUS PICTURES:

so this pose is like their thing now right?????? this is from what???? i dunno what this means here but like im glad they have a cool pose that represents them

OKAY TWO THINGS: this was all i could focus on when i watched the teaser like siyeons face as if shes super into this (or was singing i dunno) and then jius face like is it THAT serious-

THE VISUALS ON TOP OF BOMB CHOREO THEY ALSO HAVE BOMB AESTHETICS FOR THEIR VIDEOS!!!!!!!! i would explain EVERY scene but i thought why not show the ones i really liked and put some thoughts under, some are more specifically about how i left looking at them (this is long enough already):

(i must mention beforehand that i loved the part with suas swing and jius rope too but i liked looking at these ones much more)

I KNEW THE MOMENT I SAW ALL THAT RED THREAD IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH FATE like i think actually believe in fate and stuff like that now bc LOOK at them their threads of fate all tangled together and s hit but also i just REALLY wanna see how they pass through the strings lmao

this part was haunting to me??? like i felt suffocated just looking at this??? i dont think thats how i was supposed to feel but this hit

do you see how disorienting???? do you feel that way too???? bc I SURE DID plus i dunno these colors, overlaying her looking in different directions and then at the end when they connect again in the middle my god yes-

okay i said i was going to mention hands and that theyre basically the most important thing in this entire video there are so many scenes of them reaching towards each other, wiggling their fingers and shaking their hands, but unable to even TOUCH you could really F E E L how DESPERATE.......... the WANT and the NEED to just connect together and bicth im gonna cry but its BEAUTIFUL™ (i was gonna add every shot that showed them reaching to each other but this is long enough already)

THIS JUST HITS HARD TO ME

ITS SUPER SYMBOLIC BUT IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO PUT IT INTO WORDS JUST LOOK. AT. IT.

this is like gahyeons scene but it didnt hurt as much i love the color green but for this scene seeing that wall nearly crushing her and this color together i ACTUALLY felt scared and nauseous and again i dont think thats what im supposed to feel but i did and it also hit she is certainly........................... breaking out sorry

P L E A S E this is the ending and theyre all finally together and i think them standing in a circle and holding hands like is also their thing but do you see?????? yoohyeons smile?????? (im sure theyre all smiling at least i hope so)

T H E M

to the shock of LITERALLY NO ONE they are the seven (7) most beautiful women to walk this earth, so of course i was shaking continuously and my neck was getting broken every second i have nothing to complain about or even REMOTELY MENTION to change anything about them except i want damis shorter length back

plus their outfits and makeup looks are simple and nothing over the top and i think theyre wearing their teaser image outfits in the more colorful scenes but no complaints there like the white outfits when theyre surrounded by the red thread like they look great!!!!!!!!!! just nothing to specify (also their really cool looking earrings they just always have)

(also pls appreciate these screenshots they all come from a split second within their individual shots instead of the shots from the beginning bc i love making my job harder for no reason looking good as hell it took forever to get them okay moving on-)

JIU

someone pls tell me how she could make her face so intense...................... pls i thought i was gonna get turned into stone any second with how threatened i felt seeing her i just about died with all those damn close ups she got im TOO TIRED miss kim minji if looks could kill............................ her white dress was longer on one side so its lowkey just one leg and her shoulders out pls- that scene with the purple background and the rope and her eyes are purple too and just FULL of threatening energy....................................... dont hurt me

SUA

COME👏THE👏F UCK👏ON👏

ALL INSOMNIAS AGREE SHES A WHOLE MEAL™ this hairstyle and color on her specifically like this picture and its wavy i wish she could just keep that forever but yknow and that white dress shes wearing in this picture too with the sleeves pls you BEAUTIFUL BIH- her hair has a smaller pony tail in the red dance scenes and a whole pony tail for the swing i just wish i could see those styles better and I KNOW its a swing and the shot has to be far away but thanks for her side profile there im just saying-

SIYEON

THIS WOMAN™ this exact look with her hair straight and the one black glove and the one long sleeve that s hit hurted me and when they were dancing in the kinda red (i think its red) scenes shes wearing pants so good for her to stay on her brand plus i mentioned the green scenes earlier and she is THE Actress™ shes literally so stunning i had a hard time getting this screenshot bc i just kept looking and NOT doing this, her Power™ truly i finish with mentioning the eyebrow thing at the same part as bye bye................................. thank you

HANDONG

YALL ALREADY KNOW HOW IT BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WOMAN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the first couple of close up shots she got I DIED AT THOSE TIMES SHES SO ETHEREAL i will NEVER get over this hairstyle on her EVER and her hairstyle for that one dance outfit here like CAN WE JUST ALL AGREE that she just almost always looks Expensive™ and Princess™ like whenever we see her bc i cant deal!!!!!!!!! and i DID see her wearing that lavender outfit from her teaser image when that dropped during these scenes like i understand its supposed to be far away to express distance between others and how gloomy it is like that but i wanna see- ANYWAY I LOVE HER

YOOHYEON

let me just start out with how HAPPY AND THRILLED I AM that she has grey hair again like THATS HER LOOK™ shes also very good at being intense and powerful and that breaks every bone in my body but i had accepted it i wanna specify her little snarl hit me harder than it shouldve it lasted for literally a second she had the wavy hair too during those green yellow (???) and red scenes which i have to say AGAIN i wanna see it better but i understand why i finish this with her smile at the end i must mention it again pls my uwus-

DAMI

im sorry i need to start with full on wishing her hair was still that shorter length i miss that so much- ANYWAY this color on her F A N T A S T I C™ like this look with the black around her shoulders and she has a shorter dress instead of the long on one side like siyeon she was also wearing pants during those red dance scenes and honestly thanks im not even going to mention her scenes with handong again yall already know i wanna see it better

GAHYEON

LOOK AT HER she didnt have a lot of screentime like this picture comes from her first singing part and it was blurry but yknow that was aesthetic bc it focused eventually so ill let it slide literally she just has long black hair but she looks absolutely GORGEOUS in this mv!!!!!!!! i just wanted to see her more at all!!!!!!!! shes just so pretty and she got to have that cool scene with the plastic but like GIVE👏ME👏MORE👏GAHYEON👏NEXT👏TIME👏

LIKE i keep reminding myself that this IS a japanese song and i expected the style to be different so i guess thats why im not TOO critical about it i can totally hear how someone could be not so into it like that beginning part which doesnt sound like a dreamcatcher song if you didnt it was them yknow what i mean??? at least thats how i see it BUT PERSONALLY this is a pretty solid song!!!!!! ive been listening to it for two days straight and im feeling G R E A T!!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: GUESS WHOS GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS (AND THE WHOLE ALBUM) ON LOOP FOR WEEKS ON END YUP THATS ME

bonus bc i had to make this:

[fates-theysband]

i was going to make a full playlist for each individual main or primary f/o, but that was going to take forever so instead i decided to take a different approach and explain all my f/o song tags so far (with links, obvs!)

thanks to @somethingscarlet13 for the idea!

alright, let’s begin this Lore Dump

Tim Wright: 400 Lux - Lorde

Why I Chose It: I extremely associate road trip romance-type tropes with this self ship due to what happens in season 3 of mh, and this song just generally has the energy of falling asleep in the passenger seat of your partner’s car as they drive down the highway at 3 AM while rain falls, only waking up when they stop at a gas station to buy drinks.

Relevant Lyrics:

we’re never done with killing time / can I kill it with you?

you drape your wrists over the steering wheel / pulses can drive from here

I can tell that you’re tired / but you keep the car on / while you’re waiting out front

Evan: Leather For Hell - Bitter Ruin

Why I Chose It: this is one that’s more the character’s general Energy than being shippy (which should be clear once you hear the song). Evan’s a really chaotic dude, and as the series wears on he gets increasingly frustrated whenever the boys’ investigation stagnates, and add that on with how bad he wants to kill the entities hurting his friends and I think this song fits very well

Relevant Lyrics:

my feet are burnin’ and the clock don’t seem to be turnin’ / it seems to take an hour to put one foot in front of the other / and how is the world spinnin’ when i get to thinkin’ it’s fallen asleep?

to waylay this aching / my fingers are shaking / my knuckles are breaking

and you don’t know it yet / but every time you take a breath / ten thousand other people suffer ‘cause they feel the way i do!

Steph: Addict Of The Gallery - Faith Marie

Why I Chose It: well obviously the art metaphor is appropriate. also, the whole message of the song is “i’m better off alone, it makes it easier for me to thrive, being around people just makes things worse for everyone involved”, which is a big theme for steph as a character since she isolates herself because she doesn’t want to spread her “infection” and potentially get more innocent people killed.

Relevant Lyrics:

guess i turned something bad into something worse / i’d rather be alone and maybe that’s how it works

i’m a complicated mess that i’ve come to accept / so go ahead and disappoint me / i’ll always feel isolated and lonely

migraines and bad days / madness and caffeine / i welcome you with open arms and a handful of advil

Noah Maxwell: The Storm - Victim

Why I Chose It: well, because at first i was like “...surely this isn’t an actual t12 fansong?” when i heard it (it is not). seriously, though, way too many of the lyrics in this song are applicable to noah’s situation of being powerless, pursued by enemies he doesn’t have a chance against in a direct conflict, and the entire time being watched by uncaring strangers who see his personal hell as entertainment.

Relevant Lyrics:

i spill my blood into the moment / pull my heart out on display / will i ever make it back? / i haven’t slept alone in days

so you think about surrender / and survival on the run / if you’re caught out in the open / then your destiny is done

i am the jester of the masses for the conflicts that i face / judgement cast in by the people who have never known the chase

Kevin Haas:  Sorry 2.0 - A Love Like Pi

Why I Chose It: this one required a little more mental gymnastics but like...think of every time we have 100% confirmed that observer’s grip on kev slipped long enough for him to try to communicate with noah. the first thing he does, every single time, is apologize. and for some reason i couldn’t separate that extremely heartbreaking fact from this song so now like...Guess It’s A Kevin Song Now.

Relevant Lyrics:

this is just a version of “i’m sorry” / oh my love was strange and made you change your mind

can you hear the chorus of “i’m sorry”?

so when you left / i knew you would / i just don’t know how to make you stay for good

Milo Asher: Strings - MS MR

Why I Chose It: the song is about worrying about someone who’s clearly going through some problems in their life but won’t--or can’t--admit to it, and considering that i first like...had notions of Feelins about milo after i read the excerpts from his journal that detailed just how awful and traumatic his life really was it seemed appropriate to use this song

Relevant Lyrics:

how i worry about you / no one to pull you out of the blue / anger and sadness get the best of you

wish i could erase the pain / to better help you survive another day

spend every day by your side / ‘til i know that you’re alright

Aurelia Hammerlock: American Love - Smallpools

Why I Chose It: the song uses a few metaphors relating to ice and snow, and it’s about a rich woman in a romantic relationship with a (implied to be poor) man, and idk it just seems extremely appropriate to the relationship.

Relevant Lyrics:

she doesn’t panic from the warning signs / she’s hiding under foreign cotton and sheets of ice

it was colder by the pond / so she wore a pair of my gloves

a bay and gable in a small lake town / she wants to buy it from her dad just to tear it down

Usagi: Blood And Bones - Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra

Why I Chose It: i dont have a really complex symbolic reasoning for this one. usagi is a necromantist (not necromancer, the distinction is apparently VERY important to him) who calls the zombies he reanimates his “friends” and this song is about making friends with murderers.

Relevant Lyrics:

i had a lot of friends / till i drove them ‘round the bend / and then they left me all alone

if blood and bones are what you want / i suggest that you look behind you

and when they get out / we will be friends! / bestest buddies until the end!

[virgilantejustice]

Heartbreak: The infection

I wrote this a while ago, because apparently i love to torture myself and my characters. I wouldn’t say that it is part of the main story, and i dont know if it really adds anything, hell, it might make it worse, but i wanted to write it. Read at your own peril, because im not sure if it ruins the whole thing or not.

chapter one    chapter two    chapter three    on the church steps    sea of stars    (this one fits in here)

Word count: ~2000

Trigger warnings: Major character death, injury/mutilation, murder, crying

masterpost link

———————————————————————-

A year later.

The sun was rising, and the light was streaming through the stained glass windows and striking the floor in multicoloured rays. Logan saw the light dancing on the inside of his eyelids even before he opened them, to see Patton lying beside him, smiling in his sleep.

“Hey, Sleepy Head,” Logan murmured. Patton groaned and swiped sleepily at him with his eyes closed, his hand in totally the wrong place. Logan laughed gently and shook his shoulder.

“Whaaaaaat?” he groaned with a giggle, opening his eyes and sitting up on his elbows.

“Time to get up,” Logan replied, slowly getting to his feet and pulling on his clothes. Patton moaned and did the same. When he was done, he straightened Logan’s tie (a remenant from his last life that he was determined to keep a hold of) and planted a light kiss on his cheek, the sun creating a halo in his messy morning hair.

They smiled at each other for a moment, Logan didn’t even realise that he was leaning in before Patton broke the eye contact to look at the water container. It was empty.

“Darn it,” Patton said, looking back at Logan. “I’ll go get some more.”

“I’ll get it-”

“I can get it, its fine.” He beamed up at him, brighter than the sun rays that were striking to floor with their golden whips. Then he turned and headed out of the front doors to go to the stream that traipsed down the hill a couple of minutes walk away.

Logan went to knock on Virgil’s door, but it was still pretty early, they needed the sleep. The bags under their eyes had lightened significantly since Logan had found them, but they were still there. A sad reminder of that first day…. No. Not thinking about that. About the ball. About the death. No. Not death. Already dead.

Then Logan heard the door open and he ran to it, eager to take the water from Patton’s hands and lose himself in his eyes, to forget that day. But as soon as he saw him, he stopped in his tracks.

Patton was covering his face with one bloody hand, and the water container was hanging in shreds from the other. He had so much fear in his eyes. Logan reached up a hand of his own and pulled it away, then gasped and stumbled backwards.

He saw something he had hoped, that he had dreamed, he had wished that he would never see, but no one listened to the dreams of the damned. Small blotches of yellow were showing through the freckles that filled Patton’s skin, all across the bridge of his nose.

Logan didn’t look away. Instead he lost himself in the dark passages of his mind, the thing that had always managed to keep him safe, but it was becoming darker by the second. Patton didn’t look away either, but his gaze kept wondering hungrily down Logan’s face to his neck and chest.

“Virgil,” Logan shouted, but the words fought in his throat and came out a a wheeze. His breath hitched, and tears sprung into Patton’s eyes. “Virgil!” he shouted again. He heard the door open, but couldn’t tear his eyes away from Patton’s face. “Go and pack up everything, all the supplies, everything, then wait outside.” His voice was monotone and lifeless, but how the bloody hell was he supposed to inspire joy, or positivity?!

“But-”

“Now!” Logan spun around, marched forwards, and grabbed Virgil’s shoulders, wobbling slightly, so they grabbed his elbows to keep him standing. Logan looked into their eyes and knew that his own were filling with water. “Please!” They looked shocked more than scared, their eyes wide with concern. But after they saw the pure pleading that was in Logan’s own, they shrunk in on themself, and walked from the room.

When Logan turned back around, Patton was lying on the ground. “What are you doing?” he asked in a voice that was shaking with the answer that he had locked away deep in his mind.

Patton smiled up at him, but he couldnt hide the tears that were sliding down his cheeks. “You know what you have to do.”

Logan came and knelt next to him. His hands began to shake. “I cant live without…” His tears choked him, cutting off his words. He pressed his clenched fists to his forehead. He screwed his eyes shut, as if that would make it just go away! “I can’t live without you!”

Patton placed a gentle hand on his arm. Logan opened his eyes, his breath shaking, coming in small gasps. Patton smiled a watery, shivery smile, his eyes glittering. “But I can’t let you die with me.”

Logan’s carefully constructed world was closing in. He already saw the darkness beginning to creep into the corners of the brown in Patton’s. He tried to speak, but his voice had been stolen, silently ripped from his throat.

“Please,” Logan whispered, squinting at Patton’s beautiful face. He had been through so much. They had been through so much together. He couldn’t….

Patton reached up a hand and stroked Logan’s hair back from his face. He leant into the warmth of his hand, tears pooling at the corners of his mouth as his gaze once again flickered down to his neck, furthering the realisation of what he had to do.

Logan pressed his blade to Patton’s throat. It felt so cold in his hand. So cold. So empty and silver and cold. His hand shook so much that he grasped it with the other, his breath was coming in short bursts, and his back was heaving with sobs that burst from his throat like wild animals on the hunt.

“I cant…”

Patton tried to offer him a smile, and lay a hand over his eyes, like a prisoner about to be executed. Logan’s hands still shook, but he pressed down. Patton gasped. Logan whimpered. The shadows in the corners of the chapel were creeping in, wrapping their tendrils around his hands and forcing them down. And in one fluid motion, blood flowed, and the steady rise and fall coming from under his arms stopped.

An immense weight collapsed down on him, and it felt as if the roof had fallen in. Thoughts and feelings raced through his head, filling him to bursting and crushing him from the inside. Crushing him with the pain and the guilt and the love that he would never get back. With the years of hard work and the blood that stained his hands that he knew he could never wash away. With the logic that acted a scaffolding, holding up his universe, being drowned and swept away by clawing, wild, ragged grief.

He began to choke on his own tears, a gushing, swirling, monstrous river ripping through his mind. He was being washed away. He clung onto Patton’s body to stop himself from drowning, clinging to his shoulders, stroking his hair, trying to stop the crimson flood still flowing from him.

He cried. So long. So hard. He cried. He didn’t stop crying for a long time. He couldn’t. He couldn’t even try. And so he cried. He cried and screamed and hugged his boyfriend close to his chest and rocked him back and forth like a mother rocking a child. His tears seeped into his hair and spattered onto his face, coating it with a salty slick.

He didn’t let go. He couldn’t. If he did, he would surely fall.

———————————————————————-

Logan didn’t know how long he lay there, cradling Patton, pushing him away then pulling him back. He began to cough violently. Choking and spluttering chestily from his lungs, shaking his whole body.

He heard the doorknob begin to turn. “No! Don’t come in!” he shouted through the coughing.

“Do not come in!” He didn’t want Virgil to see.

“What’s going on!?” came a muffled voice from through the door. They sounded so panicked and confused.

Logan stared at Patton’s face. So beautiful. So hardened. He had been through so, so much. Almost died several times, and Logan was always there by his side! He had always been there to save him! Now he was dead. By Logan’s hand.

“I need you to go,” he said, quietly but enough for them to hear through the door. He felt dejected, drained, no energy, no life.

“What?! Why?! Where?!” Virgil cried, the doorknob turning once again.

Logan didnt want to answer his questions. He just wanted him to leave. To leave him alone with the extinguished candle that had been his last scrap of hope. “I need you to go far away, take the supplies. Find someone else like you found me.”

“I cant just go!” they cried through the door, their voice cracking with the panic. “What’s going on?”

“I wont tell you!” he cried. “Please, for my sake as much as your own, just go! Please!” Logan could hear his voice cracking, falling apart, rubbed raw, but he didn’t care. How was he supposed to keep his voice steady?! But he was always the steady one! He was always supposed to be dependable!

Slowly, the door opened. He shied away from the light, the tears in his eyes turning it into a blinding glare.

“Oh my god,” Virgil breathed, stopping in their tracks. “Is that…?”

“Yes.”

“Is he…?”

Logan tried to swallow the lump that was choking him in his throat. “Yes. He is.”

———————————————————————-

Logan couldn’t take his eyes away. He couldnt do anything but stare. He was… He was gone? How? Why? Why did he have to be taken, he hadn’t done anything to deserve this! He had always been so sweet, and kind, and… But now….

He staggered on his feet and leant on Virgil, who looped their arm under his to keep him up. They were staring too, but, unlike Logan, tears were streaming down their face. Logan had long since stopped crying. He couldn’t find it in him to cry any longer. For seven years, he had been there, and all the time before that. He couldn’t be gone! But he was.

“Come on.” Virgil’s voice was muffled and distant, as if underwater. “We cant stay here.” They led him outside and then went in to collect our belongings.

“Wait!” Logan shouted, snapping out of his haze. “We cant just leave him here!” Virgil stared at him for a moment. He was confused as for why, until he realised that he was, in fact, crying again. Something they had never seen him do in the year that they’d known each other. Logan hastily pulled his hand up to his face and rubbed the tears away, for what good would tears do? They wouldn’t bring him back.

———————————————————————-

They dug a grave. A deep pit in the arid ground. Logan went over to where Patton lay, and tried to pick him up, but his arms had gone limp, like they’d just given in. He fell backwards and sat there, tears escaping faster than he could wipe them away, twisting Patton’s loose, brown curls around and around in his hands.

Virgil stood behind him for a moment. Patton had looked after them on that first day that Logan brought them here. He had comforted them and helped them work through the loss of their family. He had always been so good at that….

After a few minutes, Virgil picked him up and took him outside, lowering him gently into the hole that they had dug. The sun glistened off his skin, lighting him up and making him glow. Logan had always been adamant that angels didn’t exist, that they were just a fantasy for the desperate, but i guess you don’t realise what you have until it’s gone.

After filling the hole back in, they left. They couldn’t stay. Too many memories. Too many…. They couldn’t stay in a place where he was gone, but where he still lived.

———————————————————————-

They didn’t know where they were going. But they knew that it wouldn’t feel like home. Not without him to a make it so. Logan had been through so much with him, and they’d made it through together. He wasn’t alone though, he had a sibling now. A sibling who had lost a brother. And a heart that had lost it’s love in a world with none to spare.

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

Infection tag list: @the-blue-belle-blog @monstercupcake61176 @starryfirefliesbloggo @iolanomsgranola @mourning–star

General writing taglist: @randomavengersquotes @combine-the-kitchens @soakinforsif

Sorry if i got that wrong, i posted the first chapters a long time ago….

Tell me if you want to be added or removed!!

[hp-again]

Rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter Five - Fallen Warrior

alright lets jump back into this MESS

- anyone else think about how much money wizards save? they basically like NEVER have to go to the doctor for normal things. harry lost a motherfucking TOOTH in the crash and he already had one regrown because MAGIC. lucky bastards 

He needed to see Hagrid with his own eyes before he would believe that he was alive. He had barely stood up, however, when a door opened and Hagrid squeezed through it, his face covered in mud and blood, limping a little but miraculously alive. “Harry!”

why are the literally so cute they love each other SO MUCH YALL i cant. people tryna say remus/sirius/albus is harrys father figure in school BUT NO. ITS HAGRID OK FIGHT ME. or hes at least the crazy yet lovable uncle

- lol harry just tried to attack andromeda bc he thought she was bellatrix and ted is like ‘bitch you better not’

“Wait a moment,” said Hagrid, looking around. “Harry, where’s Hedwig?” “She... she got hit,” said Harry. The realization crashed over him: He felt ashamed of himself as the tears stung his eyes. The owl had been his companion, his one great link with the magical world whenever he had been forced to return to the Dursleys. 

aaaaand im crying. thanks for reminding me that my favorite lady is DEAD. 

- damn this is so sad harry feels SO guilty and SAME

“Haven’t go’ any brandy, have yeh, Molly?” asked Hagrid a little shakily. “Fer medicinal purposes?”

me af.

- FUCK george and his missing ear are back!!!!!!! i remember freaking out reading this the first time bc i thought he was dying. little did i know......UGH cant even think about fred rn

- lol lupin is going AWF on harry for using expelliarmus and like its pretty funny

“The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?” “‘Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,’“ said Lupin calmly.

what i wouldnt GIVE to hear the rest of this convo. 

- WHAT THE FUCK i forgot it was snape who cut off georges ear OMG im spooked magooked 

- forever grateful they left the saintlike/holey joke in the movies. its just too good

Ron tripped dazedly toward Harry and Hermione. “You’re okay,” he mumbled, before Hermione flew at him and hugged him tightly. “i thought - I thought -” “’M all right,” said Ron, patting her on the back. “‘M fine.”

:’)

“Mad-Eye’s dead.” Nobody spoke, nobody moved. Harry felt as though something inside him was falling, falling through the earth, leaving him forever.

yall its chapter FIVE and main character is already dead. this book fucking sucks. constance vigilance yall.

- i also appreciate the consoling consumption of alcohol in this chapter. v relatable 

Lupin was wearing an odd expression as he looked at Harry. It was close to pitying. “You think I’m a fool?” demanded Harry. “No, I think you’re like James,” said Lupin, “who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends.”

i dont really have anything to say about this just thought it was important. god damn i love jo’s writing.

- omg everyones yelling at harry about how he cant leave after all theyve gone through to get him here and THEN adds in “Where’s Hedwig?” as like a final blow. wow. IM HURT.

Dumbledore would have believed him, he knew it. Dumbledore would have known how and why Harry’s wand had acted indepently, because Dumbledore always had the answers (...) But Dumbledore, like Mad-Eye, like Sirius, like his parents, like his poor owl, all were gone where Harry could never talk to them again. 

i literally hate this chapter. this is so depressing im crying. also SAME HARRY i wish dumbledore was here too. 

- spooky mind melding stuff is going on!!!!!!!! im still confused about wand stuff so i need this reread to refresh my mems

WELP if you liked this, follow me for more chapters!

[decayingdirk]

2022 predictions but its only animation stuff because live action just hasnt been it for me recently:

animation hyperfixations of 2022 (new stuff only):

major: the boondocks reboot if it's bad, tmnt (i get to add it here cause its getting a movie but technically its already got a fanbase), blue lock, chainsaw man

minor: the boondocks reboot if its good (it deserves better), angry birds (i hate this), supernatural academy (the fanbase will be similar to miraculous ladybug, but at the size of tales of arcadia probably? trends when new stuff comes out, pretty much dead otherwise), gross girls, spy x family, link click (its already been talked about a bit but i think its gonna get a more solid fanbase)

western animation predictions:

stuff that will be good: the house (stop-mo, connected short stories, netflix), new spiderverse, DC league of super pets (surprisingly) (the animation will be boring tho), lightyear, puss in boots: the last wish (this is just hope tbh), Wendell and wild (stop-mo, Selick is on it), the sea beast (hope)

stuff that will not be good but ill wish it was: turning red (please let me be wrong), bad guys (i like the steps away from mass media 3d animation though), bob's burgers movie (disney has it. at least itll be 2d ig), strange world (it's the director and a writer from raya, which was full of squandered potential), blazing samurai (if anyone watches it)

stuff that will get attention like it's good but won't be: hotel transylvania, minions: rise of gru (but you already knew that), the mario film, the night at the museum animated movie, pinocchio (the animated one) (theres gonna be both a live action and an animated one this year lol) (also its directed by del toro??? who just released a live action pinocchio also??? the fuck)

this is mostly big studio stuff cause i dont wanna look for every fuckin animation project thats coming out so. whatever it is will fall into one of these categories cause big studio animation doesnt really get universally disliked it just stops being talked about. so no “its just bad” category for you.

eastern animation predictions:

donghua has already been getting more popular and its only gonna kick up. finally. 

manhwa will follow but maybe less? probably wont REALLY get going till 2023 but it is coming. finally.

stuff that will be good: chainsaw man (if it isnt... yes it is.), tiger & bunny s2 (PLEASE. PLEASE), cyberpunk: edgerunners (itll get bad reviews but i will like it), dragon ball super: superhero, spy x family (they cant fuck this up its too camp. even if its bad itll be good), tokyo revengers s2 (itll be average), blue lock, the genius prince’s guide to raising a nation out of debt, the orbital children, demon slayer s2 (dont see how they could fuck this up tbh), girls’ frontline (maybe?), link click s2, daily life of the immortal king s3 (might just be mediocre)

stuff that will not be good but ill wish it was: uzumaki (itll be fine but like in no way better than the manga), arifureta s2, sabikui bisco (honestly i prob wont even watch it cause i dont usually like post-apoc anime but this is my gut feeling), sasaki and miyano (i will eat my fucking shoe if someone does a slice of life comedy BL well), requiem of the rose king (honestly just dont wanna get my hopes up that theyll do intersex rep well)

stuff that will get attention like its good but wont be: new my hero academia content (it fell off a while ago guys cmon), dragon ball super: superhero (gotta be safe), kakegurui twin,  attack on titan: final season part 2 (i dont even watch aot anymore but its an ending i doubt theyll do justice to), heaven official’s blessing s2 (ive read the novel it cant be good when i know theyre removing the mlm stuff)

its just bad: spriggan (ive heard the manga’s good but the anime just. wont be.), my dress-up darling (this will probably just be my personal opinion lol it could very well be objectively well made and i just dont like it),  love of kill (consent? doubt it)

[clumsyclifford]

baby driver tell me anything about it i am a slut for that fic

you cant just say this now i have to answer like all the questions for it dont i (no i dont but am i going to anyway? yes this is your fault for being vague anon you asked for this)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? watched the movie baby driver, thought it would be dope as a fic. the way the fic is written is actually cool in terms of formatting tho if you ask me and i really liked the idea of the song defining/being tonally relevant to the scene to show the way that music is so central to calum’s life and the way he interprets the world and relates to it so that’d be why. also the prologue is there to get in the gimmick of quoting movie lines, and the epilogue is there because after i finished the fic i realized there were more songs i wanted to use in it that i hadnt gotten a chance to LMAO

2: What scene did you first put down? the first scene! the fic was written almost entirely in order i believe except i wrote the prologue retroactively and then went back to add the lines in about halfway through

3: What’s your favorite line of narration? wow going back through this fic there’s really not a lot of narration kinda love that for me lol this is probably my favorite because i love the way it frames something calum loves in the context of something else calum loves like he wants to be able to enjoy michael’s smile in the same way that he can enjoy music so:

Michael smiles. His whole face lights up when he smiles. Calum wishes there was a song about that smile that he could listen to for the rest of his life.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? theres honestly a lot of dialogue im very pleased with in this fic cant lie honorable mentions to the line about calum watching with subtitles because i think that shows a vulnerability of him that we dont see a lot of also the line “just because i’m quoting elton john doesn’t mean i don’t mean it” feels very telling of calum’s character BUT the line i am choosing is the following:

“We could leave this town and run forever,” Calum finally says. Michael looks over at him and his eyes are sparkling.

“We already are,” he says.

“I know. It’s kind of a sad song.”

“Not anymore.”

5: What part was hardest to write? oooh hmm probably the scene where calum finally gets out of the job/pays off his debt? because that was when the fic diverged from the movie plot so i was no longer stealing from the script anymore. close second to the moment right after they kiss when calum says they can run away though

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics? i just honestly? love the whole music thematic. i mean like i stole it from baby driver obviously but it was really fun to reframe it with pop punk songs (plus a couple others shoutout to loml why georgia) and then get a chance to try and write the tone of the scene around a song i don’t know man it was a cool writing exercise that i can never replicate idk how it exists

7: Where did the title come from? ocean avenue by yellowcard! song i discovered while in search of good pop punk songs for this fic (did a LOT of music research for it lol) and decided it’s a malum anthem if i ever heard one plus it gets mentioned twice in the fic so it felt appropriate to title it with that

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it? i mean......baby driver, the movie halfjgdkjgjd

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? nope!

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? i was probably just on a malum kick tbh in fact i bet this fic would work just as well for lashton i just uhh didn’t do it

11: What do you like best about this fic? how many ways can i talk about the scene/music themes before it gets annoying and pretentious? oh actually i have a different answer i really love the way calum parrots other people’s lines back to them like he borrows words from the TV and from songs and then he also borrows michael’s own words a couple times but THEN at the end michael borrows calum’s words (”I’m happy to know you”) and it just feels very poetic to me not to text analyze my own fic but khalkgjdfkja if you didnt notice that before i am shoving it in your face now

12: What do you like least about this fic? the uhh....i mean i stole it from the movie i actually think the fic’s more realistic on this count than the movie but the pacing’s kinda like....bad? like they literally knew each other two weeks, went on one and a half dates, and??? ran away with each other??? that’s why there’s that conversation in the epilogue where michael is like “we’re both crazy” like i just wanted the reader to know that i know that the pacing’s kinda wack but that’s just life

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? how convenient that i actually made a playlist for this fic !!!! it’s actually a fantastic playlist, for the fic but also just in general? so here is the link yes i do recommend each and every song on this playlist wholeheartedly especially why georgia <3

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic? yes lily james was snubbed in baby driver

15: What did you learn from writing this fic? well i learned a lot of new pop punk music does that count

[zofias]

tod spoliers 

ever since i finished tower of dawn i’ve been wanting to write down my thoughts about it so here goes nothing lmao feel free to ignore this 

ok so tod started off pretty nicely sjm laid out the southern continent very descriptively and i was thoroughly invested bc well i was totally excited to read tod from the start and when i finally got my hands on it i was ready but not ready lol my emotions about it are just all over the place basically 

anyways i really enjoyed the aspects of the southern continent and the history of it the story of the khagans and how they are chosen was interesting the whole khagan gets to choose which child he/she wants as his/her heir was smth i got truly interested in bc its always the first born child who gets to take the crown or w/e so that was a nice change and the siblings that were introduced in tod were all dissimilar they all had such strengths to be heirs since they all specialized/lead different things like hasar had armadas and lead them sartaq had his aerial army kashin was a solider and controlled the armies on land arghun had his network of spies like i enjoyed that they all were individually so powerful i guess like thru each chapter you’d think the khagan would choose a different sibling but i was really happy that sartaq was chosen tho i did kinda feel like he would end up being heir like it became a bit obvious bc he seemed to be the one who took a stand and was like imma leave if you dont help aelin and co. 

ok lets move onto yrene towers at first i didnt know how to feel about her only bc we didnt get into her character as much yet but when she went to see chaol and nesryn for the first time i was literally laughing also idk why but the dynamic between her chaol in that first meeting made just go yup they gonna fall in love im a sucker for haters to lovers trope ok she literally despised him for a good few chapters lol yrene is freaking amazing and so badass her story was smth i really enjoyed i was really interested in her powers and all about the healers she wanted to make a difference and help her ppl and she got her wish in the end what was really cool about her was that she taught young ppl self defense even tho she knew not so much she wanted to give those girls a change to fight back and when the torre was attacked she knew how frightened that made them and made chaol come teach bc he’d be a good distraction from all the horrors i just really loved the way her mind works she was invested in the art of healing so thoroughly and yrene never backed down she was so determined to find answers like i loved her so much she was amazing slm may have faults but the way she writes female characters is really empowering LISTEN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW YRENE PUSHED HASAR INTO THE WATER i legit started laughing so hard like i needed that it was so good yrene is everything if you dont want to read this book bc of chaol read for yrene ok that’s all im going to say yrene was wonderful 

chaol westfall my first thought about him was ‘my baby i hope you heal and get to fight again’ like reading about how much he didnt like it in his chair was really sad i mean i get it chaol was always really determined and he like being ready to fight and then he lost movement in his legs and his world turned upside down like when yrene was healing him and he was feeling all the darkness and remembering what his father did to him when i read that his father literally pushed/threw him out of the house made me tear up chaol hit his head hard and the son of a bitch father didnt even let chaol’s mother come to him and terrin saw and chaol felt guilty for leaving him i just was so hurt reading that and also few guards helped him leave anielle and his damn father banished them to the mountains like i hated chaol’s father and now i just cant the darkness chaol had in him was so much did he hate himself? i think so but he was so angry and things were haunting him it just made my heart hurt i loved tower of dawn bc we got to see everything about chaol what he felt what he realized it was really good throughout he kept thinking about dorian and always was so loyal to him i love it when they reunite i need sjm to have them hug for a good hour or more tbh like its needed what also made my heart shatter was what he felt for aelin in his darkness you can see how he loved her and his hate for her too like i dont know how to explain it it made me feel idk his darkness was terrible and at some parts i had to put the book down to stop feeling too much idk chaol has gone through so much and it was nice to see what he felt he conquered his darkness and realized and accepted himself his journey was rough but he found himself i was so excited to read this book only bc of him he has always been one of my fav book characters and this made me love him so much more 

CHAROENE???? i dont know chaol and yrene’s shipname but imma tell you i love them together their dynamic was wonderful they slowly became friends and trusted one another they had to somewhat quickly open up to one another bc it was the only way chaol was going to heal physically and emotionally i enjoyed seeing how they developed their relationship it was nice chaol deserved to love someone who cared for him so much my favorite part was when they got into a fight and yrene was walking away and chaol wanted to go after so he willed himself to walk ever so slightly and as he was somewhat getting closer to yrene she began teasing him and moving away to make him walk more it was so cute i liked their relationship a lot they both felt equally comfortable to talk to one another and it was like a balance you know what actually my fav part was their day out in the city when they just rode horses and yrene was healing ppl it was sweet and calm and when they went out to eat just the two of them with no agenda they both deserved smth like that i loved it ik most ppl are going to say sjm wanted to just pair everyone off with a love interest but i love these two it was unexpected esp the fact that they are linked to each other and they’re married!! but i love it im a sucker for that bond stuff ok this relationship made me love tod so much 

nesryn faliq when she was first introduced in queen of shadows i was 50/50 on how i felt about her like i liked her but also somewhat didnt but let me tell you tod made me love her chaol was an idiot for using her as he did and she realized it and it seemed she was ok with it but i loved that she got to have her adventure i loved that she got to return to home and see her family she got to explore the lands of antica with sartaq and kadara what made me like her more was that she was didnt let opportunities pass her by she decided to go with sartaq and find her adventure on her own tho i did sort of predict that her and sartaq were going to become a thing after their little flight on kadara in the beginning idk it just seemed like they would be a thing which they did but i liked it she deserved someone like sartaq there was a lot of mutual respect in their relationship which i admired i loved that thru nesryn we got to learn more about antica and the history and everything like its her home and we got to see what she felt and loved about it that was my favorite thing i also loved that she got her own ruk!! AND NESRYN CAN SING that was so amazing like it adds so much more to her i love her 

a few other things one FUCKING MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN I HATE HER like that made me so mad and now i want to know how everyone will react to this and what they will do i hope aelin NO ROWAN RIPS HER TO SHREDS another thing lysandra and falkan being her uncle was amazing i loved that we got to learn somewhat as to how lysandra got her powers butterfly the horse made this book a million times better again yrene pushing hasar into the water was hilarious hasar deserved it lmao i really wished someone did smth like to arghun kadara deserves appreciation for being an awesome ruk when she got trapped in the spiderweb i was a wreck also again MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN what on earth and duva being possessed by valg and throwing her younger sister off a balcony i cried and duva was pregnant that was just so sad im so happy that yrene saved her life im happy that one else died i mean chaol came close obviously again and yrene and him are now linked which is cool but also like terribly dangerous i want to see what sjm is going to do with that the healers were so cool i loved reading about the torre and the origins and everything i hope we get to see more about them yrene is bringing hundreds of them with her so it could be a possibility there was just so much going on in this book lmao

i know i just hit the surface with a lot of this but i really wanted to get my view on the three mains out chaol yrene and nesryn are amazing and you know what i loved that this book was about them finding out where they fit into this war thats booming chaol was uncertain and felt he had nothing to offer bc he was injured but realized that the chair wasnt limiting him but he himself was nesryn found that she can be her own adventure she found that her home country was her place yrene discovered that her powers could save people who are possessed by the valg and that was epic i loved that this book was more about all these characters discovering who they are rather than anything else i loved it so much i was so excited for it and it didnt disappoint me 

if you read my stupid rambling i am so grateful for you haha thank you if you want to leave your opinion go right ahead whether it agrees with mine or not im up for anything lmao also there are probably so many spelling errors im so sorry lol 

~EDIT~ UM I FORGOT TO ADD ABOUT THE FIREHEART CHAPTER I COULDNT HANDLE IT IT RUINED ME OK IM JUST NOT OK AND THE FACT THAT MAEVE HAS AND MAEVE IS VALG MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE I JUST THIS IS TERRIFYING AELIN BETTER BE OKAY I NEED HER TO BE OKAY!!!