#this is about old man yaoi still sorry everyone but I just.

[menlove]

when u go down an insane research rabbit hole and you just have to sit there Knowing Things now. insane how the mind works.

[beartitled]

I think Normal Bill is almost just as intelligent and knowledgeable as his canon counterpart, since he had more time to focus on science and such instead of chaos and despair and.. just about every problem in the book.

Can he also still see through trees and The All Seeing Eye on the dollar bill?

Does he have all the powers of Canon Bill?

How does he feel about Ford and Dipper?

What would he think if he saw his parents?

And.. how does he feel about all the.. imagery of him throughout the world? (Remember how Ford had a fucking golden statue of him? And with the cave paintings.. and the dollar bill, the pyramids have a vague eye shape on them (since canonically they were statues of Bill until the top hat and hands fell off) The Eye Of Providence being a sign for God.. yeah it’s REALLY suspicious, I don’t think he really trusts the Pines family at this point, because they are horrible at hiding things, you don’t need to be an all seeing god to know that.

(Sorry for the long rant, I just love this AU)

Don’t apologise for a rant 🫵 I love rants, my brain just can’t comprehend them sometimes 💥

And also aww 🥹 glad you enjoy this AU ❤️

Okay lemme try answering 👏

First yes, absolutely, he’s a smart boi

His energy is just in the nerd stuff now, instead of chaotic insane vibes he has in the canon

Yea and I think he considers it normal lmao

“Wait what do you mean you don’t see through trees Mabel? Like.. I thought everyone did??”

He’s a smart boi, but he is oblivious in some instances

Not sure about all powers, but some for sure

Also this Bill walks everywhere, bc he never saw humans fly and didn’t consider trying (maybe he saw one human attempt it and decided to never try it himself 💀)

I honestly not really sure

Again not my initial idea, but remember one person saying that Bill would have some intrusive thoughts about Pines time to time, not understanding where they come from and probably feeling really guilty about those

But ultimately I think he would consider them a semi family to him

If y’all want a more detailed answer

He’s probably the closest to Mabel, bc she’s a forgiving person and treats Bill as a new person

This version of Bill would be in a girls squad and hang out with them during sleepovers (he’s a gossip girl come on 💅)

Dipper would still be cautious around Bill (as well as Ford), but would get used to him over time forming some sort of brotherly bond

Also Bill would ship Dipper and Pacifica, occasionally playing cupid for them during Dipper crushing on Wendy

He saw an opportunity to tease Dipper (and he said it would be a good enemies to lovers trope)

When people said “Stan would’ve taken that shot” yea, he would kill the child

But perhaps after seeing Mabel being buds with Bill, he just might be a little less defensive

It could both ways really: either Stan would be completely against Bill, but grow to tolerate his presence with occasional (semi)friendly bullying; or Stan would double down and just actively trying to kick Bill out

Either way they would have some sort of rivalry for sure

He would be buds with Soos and Wendy, just chilling with em on the occasion

And the last but not least Ford

He would be the most paranoid and cautious, not because he’s afraid of Bill like Dipper, but because Ford is afraid of “trigger the old Bill inside”

He and Dipper had an agreement to hide all possible information that could potentially remind Bill about his old self (all the Pines agreed to it too to some extent)

Were they successful in it? Who’s to say

Bill obliviousness saved em a bunch of times

And to address the elephant in the room: no, Billford does not exist in this AU

*booing can be heard across the fandom space* NO, YOU’RE NOT GETTING OLD MAN YAOI ON THIS ONE

🍅💥🐻‍❄️ *tiny bear screaming*

Anyway

I just don’t think it would be fitting in that particular scenario

Don’t get me wrong I like canon Billford (I love the memes and the fact that they are implied to be canon exes is hilarious), but canon Billford

This particular AU just makes the situation incredibly specific 💥

I tried to imagine a scenario where Billford could happen (like i dunno, they gave baby Bill to Oracle and then met his “normal” version)

But with the direction in which this AU went, I think it’s best to leave Ford and Bill with a platonic/parental relationship

To be fair it would be incredibly weird to raise your ex in a baby form 😭💥

But I never actually considered to continue this AU originally, so um 💥💥

I think Ford would just eventually start treating Bill like Mabel: he’s a new person now and to keep that new person undamaged, you need to keep a lot of information hidden (for everyone’s and Bill’s own sake)

This version of Bill and Ford would get along, bc they would both be nerds

(btw Bill’s design is similar to Ford, bc this is how nerds look 🤓💅/silly) (but you can adapt it in a way that Ford just had an influence on Bill, they have a family nerd look™️)

I’m still not sure what kind of time paradox shenanigans the went through to raise Bill tho 💥

This

Honestly I think it would be hilarious if he just thought it was some different guy

“A triangle… with one eye… what if.. naaaah I don’t have a top-hat”

Anyway thank u for the ask ❤️ hope it was fun to read through💥

[striveattemptfail]

a cursed realization: wade and logan are old men. logan especially so.

they MUST have weird old man habits and general body weirdness. and not the endearing shit like preferring to use old school tech, or having a "get off my lawn, my favourite miscreants" kinda attitude, or being unable to keep up in sex, or any of that kinda cute stuff

i mean the unpleasant sweaty old man smell, having walking farts, snoring while awake, their stomachs just making noises for no goddamn reason bc their digestive systems are no longer 30 y/o

all of which they don't even realize they're doing bc they're old and either a) have more pressing things to worry about [at their age]; b) stopped giving a fuck; or c) both of the above

source: i live with two very old men (my dad and uncle). one is a few years away from retirement and the other is already at that age. they are family but they are still gross old men who act like drunk uncles given half the chance

and while neither logan or wade are in their 60s, these habits don't just magically appear once you hit that age. they begin long before that and accumulate over time until the stinky old man package is complete

"but jercy," you say, "they have perfect regeneration!! they can't have any health problems!! they're too self-conscious to be that gross!!"

1: (re: perfect regeneration) that is an even worse argument for wade, who has mega cancer and canonically does not smell pleasant or have a properly functioning body. he'd 100% have old man problems as a symptom of his cancer bc his mutation is physically keeping him in a constant state of dying. everything he does is out of sheer stubbornness and willpower to make a joke out of his life

1b: to play on a popular headcanon: any aromatic, artificial fruity skincare routine he has can easily be used as a reason for him to cover up his old man smell

2: see point B above for logan

2b: see the movie, logan (2017), or the comic, death of wolverine (2014), for the fact that logan can canonically age/die. albeit it's at a vastly slower pace than everyone else, but it means logan WILL eventually have these issues with his body too, if he doesn't have them already

2c: feral/animalistic logan who takes on animal traits would be so much worse bc wolverines are called "skunk bears" for a reason. wolverines (and any wildlife/animal that you can compare logan to) fucking STINK!! they have EVEN GROSSER ANIMAL HABITS!! you just gotta accept it

3: (re: self-consciousness) you got a point there, but once again refer to point B. most folks i know at their age are on their way to or have already stopped caring about what others think of them. and even if wade and logan are somehow the exceptions to this, i'm sure they let loose in private and probably indulge in their grosser habits when they're alone

4: if you want biblically accurate old man yaoi you're gonna have to contend with the fact that it comes with the non-sexy old man problems. i'm sorry i have to break the illusion but this is the reality we must face together

5: suspension of disbelief, friends. do engage with that once in a while lol

in conclusion: i unfortunately have every bit of confidence that wade and logan are not exempt from old man behaviours and bodily functions and i will die whining about it. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[luciferanalyzestar]

Live Reaction: Ghostfuckers

Spoilers of course. I still hate the title of this episode. 0/10 for that alone. This post is just my unfiltered thoughts.

Look the other WLW couple in the Hellaverse! Forgot their names though.

Me thinking about how this show is slowly going downhill. /lhj Why is Blitz 'sulking' over Stolass?? Out of all the characters, he is sulking over the classist asshole who fetishize him for his species.

Man, I wish we saw more of that hard work. Not "yaoi." that overstayed its welcome. There is that Helluva cringe I love so much. /s

Ew. Blitz is fucking nasty. Ugh. More unfunny sexual jokes.

The American™️ experience.

Good!! Stolas is again, a classist species fetishizer. I do not Blitz that much, but he deserved someone better than the owl fucker. He needs to go to therapy first though.

Loona's attitude is fucking weird. She is 22 years old, why she calling Millie who is around 25-30 years old "grandma"??? If she was a teenager that would make sense, but she is an adult. Her insults suck pure ass. Like her calling Mooxie 'fat'. Send her ass back to that pound. /lhj

The word of the day is: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Viv and the other writers need to learn new swear words.

The sex jokes are so bad. They are not even at high school level, more like middle schooler who laughs when seeing Bitch in the dictionary level.

This show overuses bitch too. There is no PUNCH to it anymore. It is like a sound bit at this point. I love this old man. Why does Blitz tell Mille to "Look out, he's a patriot!" like it is bad thing? He is a true definition of one unlike a certain party.

The song sucks. They truly peaked in Ozzie's and never returned to that level. YES MILLIE! Tell Blitz how you truly feel. That piece of shit has not paid you in weeks and was too busy buying cheap trash.

Remind of me of that faceless Squall moment in Final Fantasy VIII. I Never played the games though. I just know about it thanks to horror youtubers. I love me some good body horror. They finally took Blitz's mom out of the fridge. I am sorry but this scene is making me laugh. Her eye popping out is looks goofy. It like a zany cartoon from the 90s.

Backstory time? The dialogue is not natural in this scene. Blitz is saying some self-hating stuff and Millie is going "Do you remember" like she is Earth, Wind, and Fire. Imagine venting to someone about hating yourself and that you destroy everything you touch, and they say, "Remember how we met?" Blitz's response would be mines. "What?"

"Imps don't work for themselves, asshole."

I wish that show was still about this. A person from a lower class trying to work his way to the top. If that show would be more impactful and would be remember as the edgy demon show with an inspiring message that everyone would relate to or inspire to be. Not the sex joke obsessed demon show with awful writing and the main "appeal" is rotten yaoi. Anyway, the fight scene was fine. Loona looks off model when she has an happy expression. I am used to that aloof and pissed off expression she always have.

"He's my best friend."

Blitz is your best friend?? This is the most time y'all interacted with each other on scene. This is the first conversation Mille and Blitz has ever had. We are almost done with Season two by the way.

This show just loves to traumatize Blitz. I wish he relived his traumatizing experiences in a more natural way. Like seeing certain objects or hearing certain sounds makes him hyperventilate or sends him into the beginning of a panic attack. I have no issues with characters having trauma or PTSD, but it seems like Blitz's trauma is a part of his character to make him seem more interesting as the protag instead of telling how trauma can truly change and mold a person into something different. There are just sprinkles of this. Blitz puts a facade of being an foul mouthed asshole because he does not want to get attached to people, from the trauma of killing his own mother, and etc. I wish it was not this Clockwork Orange type shit. This is 100% a post for another day.

"Your level of insecurity is intoxicating." Rolando should visit the Hazbin hotel. The insecurity levels are off the charts in that place. /lhj "Tonight I'm Blitz Demon-Dicker!" That is pure cringe right there.

Blitz trying to have sex with the M&Ms was always creepy to me because the idea of a boss trying to sleep with his employees is gross. Stick to signing their paychecks, not being in-between their sheets. Blitz being jealousy of their relationship is fine; it should never have crossed into sexual territory.

Episode rating: 7.5/10

None of the jokes made me laugh which is the usual for me. That Blitz's mom scene is unintentional comedy though. Rewatching, it made me laugh again and of course there is a pin design of that scene too. This is Tilla's first real merch. Good for her. Of course they made merch for the one off. Someone is out there emptying their bank account to have a "complete collection" because they just love dropping merch back-to-back.

Lazy ass shit right here. Who in their damn mind would buy this? Better than that slurs shirt though. I have to talk about the Helluva merch, but they are doing recolors now. What is this a fighting game?

Back on topic, this episode actually kept my attention unlike Full Moon and Apology Tour. Watching those episodes made me want to start drinking. Just alright episode, one of the better ones for a season that was about to rot. I am starting to like Millie more; it is nice to see her talk to a character that is not Mooxie.

[procyonloser]

Mini au fic IDK. Pre adamsapple. Divorced Dad Adam. Modern/Human Au

Old man yaoi

Adam picked up Abel, who was still sniffing even as he latched onto Adam's leg. Cain, on the other hand, was glowering up at his brother, still holding onto his backpack and clearly not wanting to go. Admittedly, Adam wasn't happy about being here at fucking 2 in the goddamn morning either.

"Sorry," Charlie said, lisping a bit since she'd gotten braces. She might have tried to look goth, but she was still a theater kid at heart. "In school, everyone was talking about this new movie...I mentioned it to the twins, it sounded like they wanted to see it."

"I did want to see it." Cain complained, siding with his step sister and looking put out.

"Yeah, well, Abel pissed himself in fear, so maybe no fucking slasher movies for kids under 10?" Adam huffed, readjusting Abel on his hip so the kid wasn't strangling him. "Where's your mom?"

"On a date, in the city. They were dressed all fancy and left in a really cool car." Cain said glumly.

"Wouldn't take us with."

Yeah, no shit, Adam thought to himself. He couldn't imagine a worse hell than a romantic date with two 7 year olds tagging along the entire time.

"Why don't you have any cars like that?" Cain asked him.

"Because your mom took all my shit in the divorce, and then married a rich fuck." Adam said in feigned sweetness. Charlie looked upset, eyebrows fitting together, but she was all of 13, and she knew just as well as he did that her mom Lilith was Adam's other ex wife. So, he had reason to be annoyed. "Now get your shit and get in the car, we're going home. It's too late at night for this and your brother is going to need therapy."

"The monster that lived under his bed ate out the man's eyeballs." Abel mumbled into his shoulder. Great, Adam wasn't going to sleep alone for a year.

"You suck, I wish Lucifer was my dad..." Cain stomped down the front steps with as much force as a 7 year old could muster. Adam rolled his eyes, but before he could open his mouth again, a candyapple red car came screaming up the very long driveway.

"Fuck," Adam whispered under his breath. "Here we go again."

Lucifer practically jumped out of the front seat, running up the sidewalk looking concerned, but his tie was noticeably loose, and the buttons on his shirt weren't in the right spot. There was what a bit on lipstick on his neck.

"I got your message, Charlie, is everything alright?" Lucifer asked, looking at his daughter in worry. "No one is hurt, are they?"

"Everything is fine," Adam cut her off, glaring down at the older man. "Abel got scared, I'm taking the boys home."

Lucifer looked between him and the boys, frown curling his expression downwards. "Oh no, that's too bad. I'm so sorry to hear that, I was really looking forward to the weekends they were here..."

Not enough to stop you from going out and plowing Eve on a Friday night, Adam thought in smoldering anger. He'd had to drive all the way across town to drop them off, only to come back in the middle of the fucking night for them.

"Yeah, I had the rest of the weekend planned. Homemade pancakes and waffles with whipped cream and fruit, then I was going to take them to LuLuWorld, and then I was going to let them pick out any toy set they wanted." Lucifer listed off, seemingly legitimately upset by the news. Abel's head picked up off of Adam, and he looked at his step father in sudden fixation.

Eve got out of the car, glare fixed on Adam before rounding it to wrap her arm through Lucifer's. She sure as fuck never wore any dresses like that when he'd been married to her.

"Well, if the boys want to stay with Adam, that's fine. Nothing wrong with that, Charlie likes to stay at her mother's some days too." Eve practically purred, running a finger along Lucifer's jaw. Lucifer looked up at her with adoration that made Adam's stomach turn. How long had it been since he and Lucifer had been friends?

"I think I'm okay now," Abel said, pushing to get down on the ground. Adam let him go, and Abel ran over to his step sister's side, which caused Cain to do the same. "Yeah, I'm totally okay now. Thanks Dad, see you again Monday!"

"Or never, we could just stay here," Cain said under his breath, but Adam heard it anyway.

"Oh good!" Lucifer said, turning to smile at Adam, like he was doing him some kind of favor. "I'm sure you're happy to get your weekends back! I'm sure you're busy."

Eve scoffed, and Adam boiled below the surface.

"Fucking whatever man." Adam turned to walk towards his car, but Eve stopped him with a small smile on her painted lips. Lucifer was already leading the kids back into the house, promising them popcorn and a happier movie to watch.

"Maybe we should rethink custody arrangements?" Eve raised her eyebrow at him, a sly smile darkening her features. "The twins seem much happier here."

Adam fumed, marching up to get in her face, not afraid of how it looked. "Fuck. You. You didn't even want them. I had to fucking beg you to take them on the weekends because they wanted their mom. You're not taking them from me."

Eve didn't seem bothered by his response. "Looks like I already have." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and sauntered back into the house, only sending one last parting message to him. "By the way, Adam? He's bigger."

The door shut behind her, and Adam was left outside, cold, in the dark, and pondering arsony.

"Maybe I'll fucking steal him from you, see how you like it!" Adam shouted at the front door, hands balled up into fists at his sides. "I can't fucking wait until you're miserable and I'm the one sucking his fucking soul out through his co-"

The door creaked back open, and Lucifer looked out of it, brows furrowed. "...Uh...the kids can hear you."

Adam turned bright red from embarrassment. "Fucking good! I'm glad!"

Lucifer stared at him. "... Right, goodnight, Adam."

With that the door shut, and Adam got back into his car, slamming the door closed, and then hitting his head against the steering wheel about fifty times.

First loves sucked. Second loves sucked more. Third loves sucked hardest.

He hoped his ramen in the microwave hadn't gotten mushy.

[jules-ln]

About mythological ships:

What is your OTP? (favorite romantic/sexual relationship)

What is your BROTP? (favorite platonic relationship)

What is your NOTP? (the opposite of OTP)

You can say more than one in each category if you want

Sure, but it's going to be loooong and there might be some hot takes ahead

OTP

🔹️Patrochilles:I don't need to say what's obvious; but these two own my house, my dog, my soul

Like it's not so much that I think they're perfect for each other, is that I think even when they aren't perfect for each other they still love the other a lot

Besides, I think these two are very interesting Characters on their own right, so a relationship between the two is also very interesting to think about

🔹️Menelaus/Patroclus: I'm sorry, but I know myself and let me tell you, when I have a favorite ship, it always has the character that I don't ship with anyone but the other character, and the character I ship with everyone. So I don't ship Achilles with anyone but Patroclus, and I ship Patroclus with everyone.

So, Idk, I just thought that they must be very close for Menelaus to risk his life to get Patroclus' corpse back. And maybe one day Menelaus will be fed up with Helen and Patroclus will be angry with Achilles and maybe they help each to have a good time 👀

🔹️Briseis/Patroclus: I actually like this as an unrequited love scenario, I imagine Briseis loving Patroclus because he's the only man that has been kind to her in a while, and she doesn't know if it's really love, or if it's her emotions hanging to the one of the few sources of comfort she can find. Like she isn't sure if she would love him if they had meet during times of peace instead of war

Meanwhile, Patroclus just doesn't love her in that way, but he does loves her like a sister, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings either

🔹️Paris/Patroclus: listen, listen, LISTEN, I already said that I ship Patroclus with everyone, and in this case I just thought "Oh, I like Paris, I wished he had someone who didn't treat him like shit and appreciated him" and my brain immediately went "You know who would be amazing at that? That's right, Patroclus because if he can put up with Achilles' shit, he can put up with Paris' shit"

So basically I just want Patroclus to hug Paris against his tits and call him a good boy

🔹️Odysseus/Diomedes: For this I'll explain that I have the headcanon that both Odysseus and Penelope are AroAce and in a QPR

Meanwhile Diomedes is a baby gay who doesn't even know he's gay

So I have the headcanon that Diomedes has a very big crush on Odysseus, and Odysseus of course is like "Oh, this can be useful" and is basically just using Diomedes

🔹️Diomedes/Sthenelus: Like Briseis and Patroclus, I like them more as an unrequited love situation

I imagine Sthenelus being in love with Diomedes since they've met, but Diomedes just doesn't feel the same, he loves his friend, but not like Sthenelus would like him to

🔹️Agamemnon/Clytemenestra:

They are the same, to all the people that says that Agamemnon deserved it, so did Clytemenestra when Orestes killed her

Like, Clytemenestra was angry because it was HER daughter, but later she doesn't has any problem in killing someone else's daughter (Cassandra) So I know for a fact that had Agamemnon and Clytemenestra change places at Aulis, she would've done the same to Iphigenia

So this is a case of unlovable hand in unlovable hand lol

🔹️Peleus/Menoetius: I have nothing to say about this one except that for me is what if Patrochilles but old man yaoi

🔹️Helen/Andromache: this but in a toxic Yuri kind of way where Andromache feels guilty for cheating on Hector but not enough to actually stop and Helen is in for the fun

BROTP

🔹️Odysseus&Penelope: controversial opinion, but like I said, I think they both are AroAce that one day found each other and immediately there was a mutual understanding. So basically they're in a QPR

They want to be together because for them there's just nobody else in the world who can understand them like the other, and sometimes friendship is more powerful and long-lasting than romantic love

🔹️Achilles&BigAjax: I just like them being cousins

I have this headcanon that sometimes during battle Achilles would get up on Ajax' shoulders and then use him as a platform to jump and attack the Trojans lmao

🔹️Automedon&Patroclus: If Patroclus had to be Achilles's nanny, I think Automedon was Patroclus's nanny lmao

Like in my headcanon Automedon is a couple of years older than Patroclus, so Patroclus always goes to him when he wants advice or to complain about Achilles. And Automedon is more than happy to help him and be his older brother

🔹️Menelaus&Agamemnon: I think Agamemnon unironically cares a lot for his brother, and would try to protect him and do everything he can for him

🔹️Hector&Paris: I imagine these two have the relationship of "I hate you, but you ARE my brother"

🔹️Achilles&Odysseus: I love the idea of these two being friends.

I imagine at first Odysseus was like "I'm going to get close to Achilles so I can use him later" but then the dad instincts won, and he started to see him not as the best of the Greeks, but as a young man. And he starts thinking about that maybe Telemachus would be like him one day when he grows up

So he gets too attached and gives him good advice in different things, and of course Achilles doesn't listen to him at all, but he does appreciate the effort and they end up being close friends

🔹️Briseis&Iphis&Diomede: I just love the idea of Achilles' enslaved women being friends and supporting each other, they didn't have much, but they did have each other 🥺

NOTPs:

🔹️Achilles/Briseis: No, never, nope

Like, maybe if every freaking retelling of the iliad wouldn't try to force them to be together with the less chemistry imaginable and making Achilles forget that Patroclus even exist which in turns makes the whole story of the Iliad have no sense, I would like them more, but no

🔹️Achilles/Agamemnon: Short answer? No. Long answer? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

🔹️Poseidon/Patroclus: I'm sorry guys, I don't mess with this. Is just that personally I think the gods just see the humans as toys for their entertainment. So I imagine that if there was any relationship between these two, Poseidon would pretty much treat Patroclus as his personal sex toy, And I like my boy Patroclus too much for him to being used like that

🔹️Apollo/Cassandra: similar to Achilles/Briseis and Poseidon/Patroclus, with the added bonus that I think Apolla was a bitch with Cassandra. Like you can argue that Achilles deserved Apollo’s hate, but not Cassandra

[it-one-line-at-a-time]

hi you gave the go ahead on sending you reddie asks so uhhhhh hi im here now

the losers club is one giant love heptogon. like poly qpr with romantic subsets

because everyone loved bev romantically and vice versa (cough cough sewer sex scene cough)

and richie loved eddie but he also had a crush on mike and definitely thought ben was hot (voiced this himself) and he has self worth issues and hides his insecurities with jokes (insecure hes bi so makes im-so-straight jokes, insecure hes ugly so makes im-so-hot-and-deffinatly-pull jokes) and even if hes stupid people love him because they KNOW why hes like that so thet play into it to make him feel better BECAUSE THEY LOVE HIMMMMM

and ben has always been just this little socially awkward idiot filled with love and definitely loved everyone in the losers club and hes emotional and i personally think hes arospec and feels unreasonable amounts of intense platonic love, to the point he mixes it up with romantic love (like me!!)

and mike definitely thinks hes not enough if he doesn't help people. he thinks if he doesn't help everyone around him hes useless and unloveable but at the same time only cares about the opinion of people hes deemed important (people that can hurt him and his friends) so of COURSE he helps his friends and hes the guy who keeps them safe (assuring they have weapons, making sure everyone is present and accounted for, ect) and everyone else loves him because hes there when they need protection and thats enough<33333333

and everyone loves bill to. how could you not hes just a stuttering dumbass little baby that need protected. plus he loves his friends for being there when he needed it (when georgie died, ect)

and eddie worrys about all his friends safety because they might be dumb and disease ridden assholes but there HIS dumb disease ridden assholes. and everyone loves eddie because hes like a weird overbearing jerk and he CARES. he CARES about there safety and no one else does.

and stan. he has some form of religous guilt. so when he found people that thought of him as stan and not stan the jewish kid he was over the moon. and everyone loves stan because even though he has his issues theyd NEVER leave him

sorry im just really fucking mentally ill and think my gay children need hugs and that my old man yaoi should have been allowed to be happy (reddie fix it fics save me. reddie fix it fics. save me reddie fix it fics)

Yikes, this got longer than I'd expected. Buckle in.

I read the sewer scene for the first time at school surrounded by my friends, and I think it was the one time I've read something that genuinely horrified me so much that I couldn't bring myself to be over-the-top scared of it to be funny. I have a younger brother who's turning eleven soon and the thought of it makes me wanna take a bath, if you know what I mean!!! Hm.

Also you are SO right about the Losers all loving each other. Yeah, there's the romantic pairings - Richie + Eddie, Bev + Bill (at least as kids) - but honestly they all love each other sooooo much it's kinda crazy. I'm kind of obsessed with how they conveyed how much they care for Richie in particular to the films - when he's crying after Eddie's death and they all hug him and he's like, 'Hm? They know I'm gay, and they still love me?', and he looks down at them genuinely confused for a moment - because it's so subtle but my God it's done so sweetly.

Speaking of sweet, HELL yeah Ben loved them all! My boy literally has love rolling off him like Sisyphus' boulder off the mountain. Whether it's platonic or romantic is personal opinion, but literally nobody can dispute that after Bill and Eddie (and Richie, in the film) took him into the Losers Club, he fucking adored them, man. Of course he loves Bev, that's kind of the most given thing to ever be given, but to be honest I think both he and Mike are the most symbolic of the Losers' love, because they were outsiders who found their family within the group.

Talking of Mike, he is the personification of 'the glue that holds the group together'. Literally, yes, when he calls them back to reunite after twenty-seven years, but you're right that it's in more subtle ways, too; the way he has the bolt-gun and ammunition, the way he is willing to sacrifice himself in the movie because he knows he messed up big time. And that last bit, too, is one of the biggest pieces of evidence in my opinion about your theory, dear asker who is definitely not a raccoon in disguise, that he feels inadequate if he doesn't actively protect the group. But they love him for it! <3

Ahhh, Billiam my boy. The one that every one of the Losers was genuinely a little bit in love with. The one who would not only readily die for any one of them, but who would die for a random kid with a skateboard who's only ever been rude to him! Of course in the book it is explored how much Georgie's death really affected him, of course it was, but that scene in Chapter 1 where he finds Georgie's raincoat and the Losers all just hug him without saying anything while he sobs is so fuckin' special, man. And that's the Losers Club, them all together, unconditional love and respect and love and love.

Eddie hiding how much he adores his friends under a mask of worry and ill-tempered arguments is genuinely such a lovely character trait. It doesn't take a genius to see that "You guys know that alleys are known for dirty needles that have AIDS, right? You guys do know that?" is a masked-up version of "Guys please don't go into that alley, I don't want you cutting yourself and getting this awful and scary disease going around". It's literally just him saying, in his own little way, I fucking love you guys, don't get hurt, and taking it upon himself to keep them all safe forever. Bill's "He'd be looking out for us... the way he always was." is in NO way lost on me, man.

One thing the book did that I thought was so so good and so so interesting was looking at religious guilt, through Patty, but it's not difficult to imagine that it extends to Stan, too. I swear there are some points - usually from characters like Henry Bowers' points of view - where Stan is kind of just, 'the Jewish one' (like how Richie is the loudmouth, and Ben is the fat one), so I reckon you're definitely right that when the Losers got to know him as Stanley Uris, rather than 'the Jewish kid', it was probably like a huge weight off his shoulders. And that's one of the reasons that he loves his disjointed little group, because they were the first to accept him and his religion as one.

Anyway, yes, the Losers love each other and they would die for each other and I would die for them please and thank you.

(Also, I agree that Reddie fix-it fics were put onto earth by God Themself.)

[bothzangetsus]

For the ask game:

3, 8 and 16

choose violence ask game

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I have a lot! Lol. There are some pretty vile genuinely -ist ones, but I mostly want to treat this game as things to laugh at rather than get mad over. So I'll pick two that are on the puzzling side!

I think the funniest bad take which I can also connect to my username I've seen was the person deadly seriously saying zanpakutou are the opposites of the wielder, and citing Zangetsu as proof (white Zangetsu, not old man). It's so puzzling! We got the reveal in a chapter literally called THE BLADE IS ME. I desperately need to know how they arrived to that conclusion.

Plus, like, your power growing the more in tune with yourself you are is one of the coolest core aspects of Bleach, imo. It's one of the themes the manga never betrays, too.

Putting the rest under the read more because it got long, lol.

The other is more recent and I have an actual screenshot of it! Yay!

I'm not saying this is a bad take because of the ships it targets -- I couldn't care less about who ships what, frankly -- but the reasoning! It made me feel like I time travelled to 2011 :DDD *who* the hell throws 'horny yaoi fangirl' as an insult these days?

If I am to be more serious, it's also the misconception that people ship things because of anything that reflects something about them as a person. Genuine emotional connection? Who cares? It's fine to want that for your ships. I would never rec grimmichi/urayoru/yorusoi to anyone looking for healthy ships where both halves genuinely touch each other's hearts, but people don't like unhealthy ships because they're 'starved for genuine emotional connection', be so serious right now. It's such a cheap attempt to feel superior and so dated that it becomes funny.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Hmmm, what IS a common opinion? It feels like the fandom is pretty fractured. I guess the one unifying opinion I disagree with is that the manga became worse after Soul Society arc. I think its structure became significantly weaker and it kept sustaining tension for far longer than it should've with very minor moments of (much needed, necessary for characterisation) reprieve, but I think Hueco Mundo and Lost Agent and, yes, even TYBW, are muuuuuch stronger arcs thematically. They're more depressing and pretty much a downward spiral (and dear god TYBW is such a mess plot-wise that it can be hard to reread) but the themes it revolves around are ever-present and it never betrays itself for the sake of a #cool moment or "closure", and I personally appreciate that.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Is it cheating to say fluff? That's not Bleach-related. I'm sorry, I love misery!

Bleach-related................ I'm drawing a blank! There are plenty of tropes etc that I dislike, but I can usually understand why someone would like it. I suppose I don't understand takes that seem to be based on 'well EYE like it and it came to me in a dream' (rather than being based on something that happens in canon), but I can understand why someone would enjoy that too, it's just not my personal approach.

I will say though. I am a bit bored of the "this villain just needed Love and their bad personality and actions are mostly a result of Not Knowing Love" take. I think villains are hot because they're villains! Let them enjoy their villainous actions! But I still get why people like that too. So I guess I'm mostly giving a non-answer here.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Ngl I'm kind of dillydallying around my own SDV fixation and i'd KILL to see what your brain is doing to this game like i for one would eat up dat stuff UP . . .

I love the way this is phrased; genuinely 😭💖 like im a force of nature tearing through any new interest like its made of wet tissue paper 💥💥💥

I thought about it some more and i will (eventually) make an sdv blog. Its going to be a mess having all my interests on one dashboard (im lazy and i dont want to sign in and out all the time for diff accounts lol) but i need sdv stuff in sight or ill explode. For now tho i will ramble about random hcs rattling around in my brain

- The valley is FULL of magic, but not alot of Magical Beings that utilize that magic. If the residents of pelican town knew more about magic, there would be alot more wizards than just. The Wizard.

- Everyone in pelican town has some kind of latent magic, or at the very least, an affinity or sensitivity to magic. I like to think that magic builds in very secluded corners of their world and the area including (and surrounding) pelican town is simply one of those places.

-(sorry, i am just obsessed with Places and Magic) I like the idea of your farmer being drawn to pelican town bc they have a bit of magic in them. The letter is just A Letter, but it is the desire to see this town that makes them leave their old life behind. I am obsessed w the idea that the magic in the farmer craves the valley bc it sees the valley as its home, and by extension, the farmer sees the valley as their home. The people of pelican town rarely leave bc the magic in them sees the valley as their home always. The biggest examples of this are Kent, Demetrius, Evelyn, Emily and Shane. The huge exceptions to this (still workin on it) are lewis and sebastian; lewis bc i see him as a normal, non-magical being trying to wrangle the weirdness of this town, and sebastian bc his feelings of isolation and not being understood propels him to crave the world outside of the valley. (That changes a bit if u befriend him/romance him)

-(shane is weird bc hes super depressed and lonely but his happiness comes from his new ‘ragtag family’ (his words) and his very Not Normal chickens. The animals of the valley love him bc he loves them and he becomes tied to the valley bc of it. Marnie has always loved the animals of the valley and some of the love they had for her definitely rubbed off onto shane, who very openly admits he loves the chickens 💙)

-I wasnt very fond of the idea of purple=magic but i think that was bc i often saw it as a way to tie-in the wizard and abigail. I am still trying to get through the friendships for everyone but rn it doesnt feel like theres any connection between them (and caroline). But. I do like the idea of odd, unnatural colors coming through bc of magic. Alex and Pierre having normal brown hair; Haley and Sam being true blondes. BUT. Shane and Jas having purple-ish hair. Emily and Caroline have blue toned hair. Even vincent have pinkish hair 🥺💖 (and dare i say….sebastian with purple/black hair like shane 👀…maybe he has more magic in him than hed like to believe). Abigail doesnt count bc from what ive seen, Caroline laments about her daughters dyed hair. “When she was younger it used to be chestnut brown” which…awww she took after her dad lol.

- LAST THING. This is not an hc i am just mad about this. I cannot believe the game doesnt allow u to befriend Marlon. What the fuck. What the fuck !!! I love him!!! I want to be friends w the chill monster slayer! Im a monster slayer too!!! Let me give him gifts !!! Fuck ! 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥 Also. I know how to write old man yaoi. They shouldve let me do a romance path for willy, clint and marlon. And the wizard i guess but someone already did that. Linus doesnt count bc hes ascended the need for human romance; hes one w nature (read. aroace). And we (linus and willy and the farmer) already co-raise leo so that counts for something i think 🤔

[alonelystargazer]

jjk for the fandom ask (hope i was first and also that you're doing well <33)

hi rin! I'm having a nice day today actually, and I hope you're having a nice day too! also yeah you're the first one!

The first character I first fell in love with: 

This might be a surprise to some people, but I actually was a Megumi fan when I first got into JJK 3 years ago. I always gravitate towards the dark-haired, moody, reserved guy in media lol, so of course I would end up liking Megumi. But then I met Nanami and he got bumped down. Sorry! I still like Megumi though, he's definitely a top 5 JJK character for me.

I'm putting the rest under a read more because this is really long.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Hmm, I guess I would say Yuuta for this one. Not that I didn't think I wouldn't like him as a character, but he definitely jumped higher on my list after I read/watched JJK 0.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

During season 1 I would've said Todo, because he seemed like one of those meathead frat boy type of guys, but he grew on me during Shibuya Incident as a source of inspiration for Yuuji, and in the more recent chapters of the manga.

But now, I would say Toji. Objectively speaking, he has a complicated history that seems interesting, and he's also attractive, but also he's a deadbeat dad who tried to sell his son to the Zen'in clan, and I can't really find any justification for that. Him sacrificing himself for Megumi in Shibuya is quite emotional, but I don't think it makes up for abandoning Megumi. Maybe it's just a personal issue for me lol.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

I could joke and say Megumi for this one, but I'm gonna go with Mahito. He's a really compelling villain character and served as a foil to Yuuji in terms of philosophy regarding humanity. And him being the one to kill Nanami and Nobara, as his final acts as a cursed spirit, really impacted Yuuji and left a permanent mark on him.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

I wouldn't say I loved Mei Mei, but I liked her enough as an example of a morally-gray character, someone who only looks out for herself. But then Gege showed us where she disappeared to during the Shibuya Incident and THAT whole scene was really disturbing to me and from that moment on, I wanted to erase her from my memory. We really didn't need to see THAT to get the impression that she's greedy and has secrets and all that. It was enough of an example of her taking bribes from Gojo to have the students being promoted and all that.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Hehe, well, I think it's obvious I wanna smooch Nanami and Choso, but would it be weird if I also said Heian Sukuna? Also, Kashimo (old man or reincarnated is fine with me hehe). I would also say Shoko, but she's a smoker and I don't really like the smell of cigarette smoke, sorry. She has a gf anyway.

The character I’d want to be like: 

I really want to be like Nanami in the sense of being a mentor to the next generation, and also like Choso in being the best older sibling.

The character I’d slap: 

Fuck ass Mei Mei lol. If Mei Mei has no haters, then I am dead.

A pairing that I love:

ItaFushi my beloved! The angst, the devotion, it's just so peak tragic yaoi. I've already said what I like about them as a ship, so I won't write a long ass paragraph, but I still have some hope for them, unlike with SatoSugu. I also like Haibara/Nanami and Yuuta/Toge as my top 3 JJK ships.

A pairing that I despise: 

*looks at the long list of ships I dislike/hate* Uhh... well, besides the incest and adult/minor ships, I REALLY hate Nanami/Mei Mei, which is something I've seen on twt a few times and it made me wanna rip the flesh off my bones. They are the antithesis of each other, Nanami who's so selfless and kind-hearted and protects children vs MM who's so greedy and selfish and is a danger to her younger brother, not just because she's a weirdo but also because she uses him for his Cursed Technique. They would never work as a ship, and it really irks me how she's the one who gave Nanami the idea for "going south".

anyway, this was fun!

[rry2k]

Oh nice, new team member! Now that I think about it, who does what exactly since you've got a big group here? -🎃

ohh yeahh.. we should probably do that, huh?

well, i've taken over writing Tommy! been having lots of fun :)

One and only Gordon Fruitman writer and artist, at your service.

hello chat i write and draw mr giovanni "gay-man" failatta

Hey babes! Happy 1 year! Hope I didn’t miss much~ I’m Mod Retro! Un-she/they-ing my sword at this very moment hehehe >:3

As for what I’m doin’, Mod Eon mentioned it briefly, but I’m just the writer for Bubby now rather than the writer AND artist.

Like Star said, it’s been really fun so far seeing everyone’s ideas and designs come to life!

Mod Yaoi!! Mod Retro!!! Great to see y'all come 'round hehe

I do the writing and art for Forzen and now Benrey as well! I'm having a great time with working on them so far!

What Retro said! I do the art for our Internal Clock, and now Bubby too. I don't really do much writing here, but I am the famed Puzzle Master of the blog! The funny minigames are my doing (:

As for the writing of the internal clock, that's done by me! With input from Eon of course since they've been here longer than I have.

You may also see SOME of my art. I've already redrawn an old picture for the blog.

Hello? Hello, hello? First shift at RRY2K's?

Sorry, little caught up in some traffic. Air travel, amiright? Darnold's the name, and I... write Darnold. Who'da thunk. Whole head of this operation too. Better still be some snacks when I get there, you fiends.

no promises!

Well now I have to eat all the snacks

The snacksssss…

[deus-and-the-machina]

Ranking the Xenoblade Games based on how straight they are

this is a mix of legitimate grievances about the writing and just goofing around. starting at least straight to most. Also not including X sorry I havent played it.

1. Xenoblade 2

Most of the romance in this game is light due to it being a sort of cute puppy love. Nothing actually happens between the characters and it’s mostly contained to the main characters with most side characters being free from clumsy straight love plots. There’s a couple of blushy scenes between Pyra/Mythra and Rex but most of their serious/emotional interactions are genuine and honest and don’t really get into romance or some hidden feelings they need to confess to. Even Nia’s confession is more of something for herself and she never really changes bc she’s in love or focuses on it that much. 

Beyond the main characters, sheba exists, jin and lora can be considered one sided at least romantically (she’s the one to make flirty comments in Torna and he always responds along the lines of ???) and he’s explicitly not motivated by her death, while it did obviously impact him it’s something he’d accepted and used as fuel for his ultimate goal. and of course there’s Malos, who’s own voice actor was like “cmon he was in love with Jin”. Morag and Brighid also exist. There’s even some old man furry yaoi implications with gramps and azurda in that one scene??? ngl its kind of cute. 

2. Xenoblade 3

Got a lot of points in the heteronormative category here. The main characters are paired up in m/f duos, but while 2/3 of them are romantically coded, Sena and Lanz aren’t really and Sena’s most focused relationship is probably Mio. To the game’s credit, it also doesn’t restrict them to these pairs and lets the whole group interact and have friendships and dynamics outside of the shippy ones. 

An emphasis is put on the true nature of humanity being to fall in love and have kids, but considering the context of the scene only certain parts of it really make me go “mmmmmm”. these characters are test tube babies who have never seen a real human baby and so it’s wholesome and understandable, but Monica’s wording about specifically couples later does lean towards heteronormative “everyone must grow up and have a kid.” Considering she canonically had a teenage pregnancy though and her baby daddy clearly isn’t around I expect she’s very shaped by that experience though. 

After that scene we don’t see a ton of heteronormative sentiment from city members (Ghondor, Shania, and Masha dont have any romantic sentiments, grey and rozana dont have kids and have a rather atypical but trusting relationship in general) and the focus on legacy and family is shown to have its toxic sides with Shania’s mom (who is also just. no 1 messed up lesbian in my heart).

Mio and Noah do start to have their characters focus more on romance and have their whole doomed soulmates shtick but I feel like they’re still given focus as individual characters in the main story post that revelation so I kind of forgive it, and the unhealthiest possible manifestation of their relationship is one of the main villains so. Also ngl they’re just cute, so I’m a bit biased here. I get if you’re groaning at the game pushing the main straight couple hard but at least they don’t suddenly lose all their personality when it happened. 

3. Xenoblade 1

Hoo boy. There’s just a lot of it in this game. Ngl it took me a while to properly get into Xenoblade bc while I liked the first game overall, it also just had some things that rubbed me the wrong way and 2′s general reputation didn’t make it seem much better (then I played it and fell in love and retroactively appreciate 1 more but yeah) and one of those things was how the game very quickly fridged the only female character as a love interest. Yaaaaay. 

Like yes she comes back later but at the time I was just kinda like. oh. ok then :/ and even when Fiora comes back, she’s super Shulk focused. Girl, you’ve been kidnapped and forcibly made into a cyborg and house a god who was walking around in your body but ig you’re mostly thinking about how your bf would feel. seriously when she’s fucking DYING her main concern is that Shulk doesn’t find out. like ok. Even her interactions with melia have that whole love triangle hanging over them as subtext. I greatly appreciate they didn’t got he jealousy angle and had Fiora genuinely want to reach out and be friends, but it does definitely feel like shulk is a matter constantly lingering whenever they talk.

And poor Sharla man. Seconds into meeting reyn she’s comparing him to her missing fiancé, despite still feeling he’s alive and wanting to find him. The game gives every hint that Gadolt may still be alive and rescuable, Meyneth even says smth like “I can feel this Homs still there” but not only does he die, he basically says “take care of her” to reyn like BOY you don’t know this man??? why would you say your last words to him and not your fiancé like ok. It felt like they wanted to make it “ok” for them to get together by killing him off and having him say that, even though everything until then had hinted with a hopeful tone that he could still be saved.

Ngl Melia’s unrequited love isn’t that bad but it does feel unnecessary considering how much she already suffers. Like you just really gotta rub it in huh. The fandom is wayyy worse about it than the game though, because canonically she moves on and is still surrounded by her friends and subjects and whatnot and doesn’t become some bitter scorned lover, but the fandom constantly jokes about it/acts like she is.

also some of the alt outfits, esp Sharla and Fiora’s are just...very obnoxious sexy fantasy armor. esp for flora when most of her body is supposed to be replaced with mechon parts but ig her tits were miraculously intact. They both deserve better writing ngl.

[rottenbrainstuff]

IWTV s2 ep 3 - Armand is a fucking little gremlin

Interesting ep! I mean man they all are. This show is amazing. I love the actors, I (mostly) love the updates to the story, just, such care and attention to every facet from everyone involved. Beautiful.

I always get a bit eye-rolly when you have (or see a stupid instragram video of) a white character eating expensive fresh sushi where the fish is presented whole and still having nerve twitches after death, and they freak out about it and can't eat it. I get that it's a bit weird and if it was me sure I would have to wait until it stopped wiggling to start eating, but like, where did you think the fish came from, did we pick it off a bush? Anyways, here I can almost, almost forgive the very tired trope, because you could say perhaps it is a contrast between Daniel, and the vampires and their predatory feeding habits, maybe.

I knew we were getting some flashbacks of Armand's old coven and Nicholas and Lestat, but I was surprised by how short it all actually was. I do hope that when we get to season three we're going to have some proper time spent on all of this. Armand's dirty old satanist coven was so interesting to me.

I actually had to pause the show to get mad for a little bit when I saw Louis say that Lestat abandoned Nicki and abandoned the Paris coven, because everything Lestat does is just for himself. Abandoned! Oh my god Louis, what did Armand tell you? Abandoned! Lies! Armand, you gremlin! Right, sure, the guy who was screaming with his face all red when Armand took Nicholas away is going to just teehee oops leave him behind there for absolutely no reason, no reason whatsoever, yes for sure, nothing more to say there. I also don't trust that the theater scene played out exactly as Armand said, with Lestat quite callously fucking him while Nicholas watched, no, I don't buy that. Everything Armand says is suspect to me.

It's so sad that Claudia reinforces this idea later as well, complaining that Lestat never told them there was this cool fun amazing coven troupe in Paris, he only ever warned them away and told them other vampires were vicious.

(Bruce is sure shit, isn't he. I kinda wanna see him show up again at some point. Maybe he can be one of the vampires at Lestat's big concert? I feel like he must be friends with my V:tM character's shit sire, haha, since they seem to both be reading from the same scuzzy man playbook. On another V:tM tangent (sorry) I know Lestat is the quintessential toreador, but Armand with his creepy tricks, his ability to not be recorded, his religious cosplay, and (in the book) his coven's old tradition of burying new fledglings and making them dig themselves up through their own graves as a test, he gives me lasombra vibes)

This show is so confusing to me and I love it. Every character is so bad and good, good and bad, sad and mean, mean and sad. Everyone is behaving horribly, but I also feel bad for everyone. Lestat is a dickhead but it's so tragic to me how everyone always assumes the worst of him all the time when he really was honestly just trying to protect the people he loved. Armand is a nasty manipulative gremlin, but I feel terrible for him as well, how his face falls every time the situation turns sexual. God, him and Louis were so awkward in the park, like two teenagers who don't really know what to do, or, like two very sad adult men both half-heartedly playing out a role that neither one really fully wants to play. Man, now I desperately wanna see him and Eric get it on not for the old man yaoi, but just to fucking see Armand actually genuinely want something for once.

Jacob is doing such a great fucking job. Poor old Louis.

For some reason I can't stop thinking about Sam (? that was Sam right?) showing Claudia how the rat box works, as if it's her first day at Vampire McDonalds and he's showing her the deep fryer. Santiago is also an amazing character, they're all amazing characters, I love this show so much. Poor Claudia. She is so happy to be included in this group, so happy that she completely and totally ignores the red flags that are waving in her face. Claudia gets her rage and her cruelty from Lestat, but I guess she gets her desperate desire to see good in people even when they mean her harm from Louis.

But, the end sequence is just a bit strange to me. The tension of oh, is Armand going to hurt Louis??? is very strange and doesn't work for me. We know he's not going to, Louis is here in the present day. For me it takes the tension out of the scene. I mean, beautiful acting on Jacob's part, the fact that what he thinks will be his last words are all just his wishes and concerns for Claudia to be happy was just. Ugh! Ugh! But, it just didn't work for me. And anyways, who is narrating this whole bit? This scene shows the coven threatening Armand to do something about Louis, and I don't buy for a single second that that's the actual dynamic here, that Armand is just this poor helpless guy who is forced to do what his coven wants him to, no, not a chance. So I want to know who is narrating this. But... in this scene, Armand and Louis are not in the room. They've both left to speak to the buyer's lawyer, Daniel is by himself checking out the talamasca files on his laptop, yet the narrative continues somehow. That's the first time I've noticed that happen, and I found it very strange. I don't know if this was done on purpose and you're supposed to notice how strange that is, or if it was a mistake. Was it supposed to be info from the talamasca files? I didn't get that impression.

But anyways, generally amazing, as always. I do hope the show includes Gabrielle in the future, and I hope we see more detailed flashbacks of all of them in Paris, and what exactly happened to poor Nicholas. Every actor here is doing amazing.

[msmargaretmurry]

So much respect to you for setting aside your animosity toward the pens to appreciate old man yaoi, these are noble priorities. I am wondering - are there any other old man yaois you are fond of or curious about? (May this offseason be an old man yaoissance…)

why thank you, kind anon. sorry to penguins fans that i hate their team so much but it's truly nothing personal, i'm just a caps fan from dc so i was born with chronic pens hater disease. tragic for me that i won't be able to look directly at my man dq for the foreseeable future but such is life!

to answer your old man yaoi question: not nearly as many as i would like! i am not counting men who are still in their 30s as old man yaoi candidates for this answer because although i will occasionally joke about that, 30s is not actually old. i was really only attuned to the dq/sully of it all because quinny has been my cilf (coach i'd like to fuck) for nearly a decade now. i suppose teemu selanne/paul kariya counts as old man yaoi now. also obviously there's hockey's one great romance, gretzky and jagr. but everyone should always feel free to tell me about old hockey men who should kiss on the mouth! old man yaoi summer here we come baby

[u-rumi]

Tw: mention of suicide (shisui)

Something I hate about the Naruto fandom is probably how much they erase the Uchiha suffering and how some of them always are portrayed as the funny emo who live for the sake of another character (like Hashirama/Madara, Obito/Kakashi, Sasuke/Naruto).

For example, Madara's case, where we never got to see his side of the story (only Hashirama's view because as usual the Senju can do no wrong so only showing the Uchiha clan killing a kid and ignoring the 3 other brothers of Madara was the right thing to do). Well, at this point of the story, Madara already lost 3 of his younger brothers, and we can assume only assume most members of his clan were killed by the Senju clan too. So, the only thing Madara wants at this moment of the story is to stop fighting and protect the only brother he got left with.  Basically, Madara's life is bad even if he found a friend in Hashirama because after all, no one can replace his brothers, even a kid with the "same" dream. So now my question is, why do most of the fandom treats Madara as Hashirama's whore? I'm not even joking, why do people erase Madara's all suffering and life only for him to be some type of yandere schoolgirl for Hashirama? Certainly, I can't say Madara hates Hashirama, they show signs of liking each other but why make it Madara's only personality trait?

Izuna died at the hands of Tobirama, the younger brother of Hashirama. The Senju hate the Uchiha, Tobirama hate Madara and Hashirama couldn't choose Madara over his brother, so why Madara should have chosen a village that clearly hates him (despite being one of the founders and the one who named it)? Hashirama tells him to be the Hokage, to view to villagers as his brothers (as if some strangers could replace the blood relatives you lived with but whatever), only to take it back from him, turning his clan against him, leaving him alone.  Hashirama didn't fight that much to actually make Madara the Hokage, he actually just go along with his younger brother's decision because he what? Ah yes, because he notices Madara was spying on them while his brother was calling him and his clan evil with no real evidence. The Uchiha have always lived far from others because everyone kept making rumors about them and guess who kept on pushing on those nasty gossip about them? Tobirama did. Tobirama didn't even try to see if those were real, he keeps agreeing with them, and Hashirama didn't even do shit about it. I'm sorry but none of the two of them actually care for the Uchiha. Hashirama was selfish, wanting to see Madara and his younger brother getting along because he didn't want to hurt one of them. When Izuna was stabbed to death, Madara had all the right to fucking lost his mind. Izuna gave willingly his eyes for the better of the clan because he loves them, he wanted peace for them. And despite that, everyone still talks about Izuna like he's some dumbass brat for not accepting Hashirama's offer (here's a really good post about why Izuna was right to decline Hashirama's offer). Right now I'm talking about Madara and Izuna but I could be talking about how everyone calls Sasuke a crybaby because he saw his whole clan being murdered by his older brother, how a pathetic village made a 13 years old child killed his own clan and parents, how some old bastard man stole and bullied a kid, making him killed himself, and there's more.

And actually, the same goes with Izuna and his death, suddenly everyone start saying it was okay because they were at war and Tobirama had all the right to be mad at Izuna because the Uchiha killed two of his brothers. But what about Madara? What about Izuna, who actually falls on the same treatment as his older brother as being painted as Tobirama's cute little wife by the fandom? Why the Uchiha clan is used as yaoi characters by the fandom? Madara and Izuna had all the rights in the world to be mad at the Senju too, they lost brothers, family, comrades at the hands of the Senju.

Madara saw it all coming. When he asked Hashirama where did he go wrong, it seriously annoyed the shit out of me because Hashirama and Tobirama carry that dumb brainwashing legacy that is the will of fire, turning kids into perfect little soldiers for the village and no one ever saw a problem with that.

Madara is way more than just Hashirama's friend, all the Uchiha are much more than what the fandom portrays them.

I didn't plan to make some post about it but when I saw shit like this, it gave me headaches.

[theygotlost]

haiii im not sure if youre still looking for these but <:) alister azimuth of r&c fame and/or jadzia startrek for that character hc meme 💙

this is also long lol

alister my poor little meow meow 💔

Sexuality Headcanon: he was gay and in love with kaden ......... ☹☹☹☹☹☹ i know ur name is also kaden but you know what i meant. hi

Gender Headcanon: just some guy.

A ship I have with said character: perhaps he had a bit of a yaoi moment with kaden in their youth 🤨 but then kaden got married and he just had to accept it even tho he still had feelings for him :( IF GAR OR SAM ARE READING THIS I KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING TO SAY SO DONT EVEN FUCKING START WITH ME. um sorry ignore that it wasnt for you

A BROTP I have with said character: him and kaden were besties and i feel like they knew each other for a really long time, like maybe since they were teens... and ofc his mentorship to ratchet and even if got a little fucked up there at the end

A NOTP I have with said character: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO PEOPLE FUCKING SHIP HIM WITH RATCHET. EVERY TIME I FIND A GOOD RAC FANARTIST I GO IN THEIR TAG AND THERES FUCKING R*LISTER IN THERE AND IT PHYSICALLY MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH. THATS HIS FUCKING FATHER FIGURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A random headcanon: THEE LINE OF DIALOGUE. That fucks me up every single time i think about it. Which exists only in-game in a really random spot and there are so subtitles for it so it’s really hard to find it. Is shortly after meeting ratchet he says, “I’m sorry you had to go so long without seeing another lombax. If I knew you were alive, I would have come for you.” and i just imagine what that would have been like. Alister searching the galaxy for kaden’s baby and raising him as his own... bc he feels so much remorse and he knows that saving just one lombax won’t make up for what he’s done but he just wants to do something right 😢

General Opinion over said character: sorry for my image :/

Jadzia :)

Sexuality Headcanon: CANONICALLY BISEXUAL BABEY!!!!!!!!!

Gender Headcanon: the Dax symbiont is bigender/genderfluid/genderless/is whatever gender the host is. Specifically Jadzia’s transition from Curzon is easily a metaphor for transing her gender. She and other characters make comments like “wow its kind of crazy that i was an old man and now im a hot girl. Everyone treats me so differently now”. She is a trans woman <3

A ship I have with said character: WORFZIA WARRIORS WE RIDE AT DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME THEIR LOVE IS SO REAL AND TRUE AND PURE 💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

A BROTP I have with said character: kiradax is kind of yuri but they are also girl best friends. AND SISKO!!!!!! I love that she is still his Old Man they know each other so well <33333

A NOTP I have with said character: she is NOT into julian no matter what ezri says. She likes him as a friend and every day i mourn the fact that he learned to accept this and then suddenly didnt for no reason. GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

A random headcanon: she strengthens her raktajino by pouring like. A 4loko in there

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE HER!!!! SHES SO AWESOME AND I MISS HER EVERY DAY. FEEL LIKE PURE SHIT JUST WANT HER BACK X