#godbles alvis for being in 1 I needed some homoerotic tension after all the friction. 3 was even so nice as to give melia a catgirl gf :)

[deus-and-the-machina]

Ranking the Xenoblade Games based on how straight they are

this is a mix of legitimate grievances about the writing and just goofing around. starting at least straight to most. Also not including X sorry I havent played it.

1. Xenoblade 2

Most of the romance in this game is light due to it being a sort of cute puppy love. Nothing actually happens between the characters and it’s mostly contained to the main characters with most side characters being free from clumsy straight love plots. There’s a couple of blushy scenes between Pyra/Mythra and Rex but most of their serious/emotional interactions are genuine and honest and don’t really get into romance or some hidden feelings they need to confess to. Even Nia’s confession is more of something for herself and she never really changes bc she’s in love or focuses on it that much. 

Beyond the main characters, sheba exists, jin and lora can be considered one sided at least romantically (she’s the one to make flirty comments in Torna and he always responds along the lines of ???) and he’s explicitly not motivated by her death, while it did obviously impact him it’s something he’d accepted and used as fuel for his ultimate goal. and of course there’s Malos, who’s own voice actor was like “cmon he was in love with Jin”. Morag and Brighid also exist. There’s even some old man furry yaoi implications with gramps and azurda in that one scene??? ngl its kind of cute. 

2. Xenoblade 3

Got a lot of points in the heteronormative category here. The main characters are paired up in m/f duos, but while 2/3 of them are romantically coded, Sena and Lanz aren’t really and Sena’s most focused relationship is probably Mio. To the game’s credit, it also doesn’t restrict them to these pairs and lets the whole group interact and have friendships and dynamics outside of the shippy ones. 

An emphasis is put on the true nature of humanity being to fall in love and have kids, but considering the context of the scene only certain parts of it really make me go “mmmmmm”. these characters are test tube babies who have never seen a real human baby and so it’s wholesome and understandable, but Monica’s wording about specifically couples later does lean towards heteronormative “everyone must grow up and have a kid.” Considering she canonically had a teenage pregnancy though and her baby daddy clearly isn’t around I expect she’s very shaped by that experience though. 

After that scene we don’t see a ton of heteronormative sentiment from city members (Ghondor, Shania, and Masha dont have any romantic sentiments, grey and rozana dont have kids and have a rather atypical but trusting relationship in general) and the focus on legacy and family is shown to have its toxic sides with Shania’s mom (who is also just. no 1 messed up lesbian in my heart).

Mio and Noah do start to have their characters focus more on romance and have their whole doomed soulmates shtick but I feel like they’re still given focus as individual characters in the main story post that revelation so I kind of forgive it, and the unhealthiest possible manifestation of their relationship is one of the main villains so. Also ngl they’re just cute, so I’m a bit biased here. I get if you’re groaning at the game pushing the main straight couple hard but at least they don’t suddenly lose all their personality when it happened. 

3. Xenoblade 1

Hoo boy. There’s just a lot of it in this game. Ngl it took me a while to properly get into Xenoblade bc while I liked the first game overall, it also just had some things that rubbed me the wrong way and 2′s general reputation didn’t make it seem much better (then I played it and fell in love and retroactively appreciate 1 more but yeah) and one of those things was how the game very quickly fridged the only female character as a love interest. Yaaaaay. 

Like yes she comes back later but at the time I was just kinda like. oh. ok then :/ and even when Fiora comes back, she’s super Shulk focused. Girl, you’ve been kidnapped and forcibly made into a cyborg and house a god who was walking around in your body but ig you’re mostly thinking about how your bf would feel. seriously when she’s fucking DYING her main concern is that Shulk doesn’t find out. like ok. Even her interactions with melia have that whole love triangle hanging over them as subtext. I greatly appreciate they didn’t got he jealousy angle and had Fiora genuinely want to reach out and be friends, but it does definitely feel like shulk is a matter constantly lingering whenever they talk.

And poor Sharla man. Seconds into meeting reyn she’s comparing him to her missing fiancé, despite still feeling he’s alive and wanting to find him. The game gives every hint that Gadolt may still be alive and rescuable, Meyneth even says smth like “I can feel this Homs still there” but not only does he die, he basically says “take care of her” to reyn like BOY you don’t know this man??? why would you say your last words to him and not your fiancé like ok. It felt like they wanted to make it “ok” for them to get together by killing him off and having him say that, even though everything until then had hinted with a hopeful tone that he could still be saved.

Ngl Melia’s unrequited love isn’t that bad but it does feel unnecessary considering how much she already suffers. Like you just really gotta rub it in huh. The fandom is wayyy worse about it than the game though, because canonically she moves on and is still surrounded by her friends and subjects and whatnot and doesn’t become some bitter scorned lover, but the fandom constantly jokes about it/acts like she is.

also some of the alt outfits, esp Sharla and Fiora’s are just...very obnoxious sexy fantasy armor. esp for flora when most of her body is supposed to be replaced with mechon parts but ig her tits were miraculously intact. They both deserve better writing ngl.