#this is about my gay quad

[goldenguillotines]

it literally must be a gg only thinks about spades and diamonds ships today huh.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Mix Sahaphap gets to perform (and has the performance chops to perform) in a style that I’ve never seen any other male actor get to embody. Mix gets to unironically play the #strongfemalecharacter. The Beatrice, the Elizabeth Bennett, the Jo March. Strong-willed, emotional, kind-hearted.

Not only do the plot points line up, but Mix, more than any BL actor I’ve seen, fully leans into the embodiment of this archetype. In his roles, he rolls his eyes, pouts, banters flirtatiously, softens his posture and expression at small details. He doesn’t over-exaggerate and imposition other characters but his face also doesn’t hold back his character’s thoughts and judgments. And when the moments arrive, he lets all the hurt and anguish pour out in shatters of tears and visible heartbreak—the star-counting scene, anyone????—in a way that harkens to the operatic emotionality of well-done melodramas, soap-operas, and their contemporary Thai equivalent of Lakorn. It’s only that these have never been men’s roles in those.

It’s no surprise that one of Mix’s roles—Cupid’s Last Wish—is explicitly a gender body-swap, and Tian in A Tale of Thousand Stars is (albeit explicitly denied within the show) heavily connected to gender body-swapping. What Mix specializes in as an actor, and does exceptionally well, has been defined as feminine. To depict a kind of queer expression in this style is novel because it’s not camp, it’s not okama, it’s not a soft or femboy, it’s not a BL twink (Mix has been mostly excluded from the schoolyards and quads of the BL universe except for a role as a senior crush in Fish Upon the Sky). It’s too sincere and too adult for any of that.

In Moonlight Chicken we get to see, without the pretense of gendered mysticism, this performance style’s seduction, warmth, wit, and explosiveness within the framework of a general gay form of expression. It says that this kind of femininity might just be a gay thing. Not all gay men exhibit it, obviously—queer men aren’t a monolith. Still, it gives us something to consider about how we observe performance of queerness on screen, especially in front of an audience that puts so much more emphasis on ships, heat, and pairing chemistry to assess how well they perform a BL role. Could we look for other features to judge performance of queerness instead of how well they kiss?

Seme and uke roles would be the major performance style categories loyal BL fans assess actors with, yet even within the archetype his character’s fill within BL narratives, Mix’s performances differ from the typical uke depiction in BL because he really doesn’t perform them as passive. Rather, Mix’s characters and his portrayal of them are dynamic and demanding. It certainly fits certain stereotypes of ukes (Gilbert!) and their gay stereotype equivalent of bottoms as pillow princesses and brats. Mix’s characters, though, have more drive, agency, and compassion than that, and he plays them with all of those currents running underneath.

We certainly have openly gay writer/director Aof Noppharnach to thank for writing this kind of queer character for Mix to play in Tian and Wen. But for Mix’s specific commitment to the performance starting off with his (debut!?) role in ATOTS, we first have Earth to thank for believing in Mix’s ability and recommending him to portray the role of Tian, and then Aof’s acceptance despite his differing initial expectations for the character. Mix, Earth, and Aof have all been open about how Mix in his personal life and nature holds a lot of similarities to both his role as Tian in ATOTS and Wen in Moonlight Chicken. Some people might knock points off his performances because he’s like them. But his relationship to the characters, rather than dampening my enthusiasm for Mix’s performances, helps me appreciate his willingness to give an authentic performance in a style that hasn’t been encouraged on screens previously. It’s made more impactful that he chose to risk vulnerability to bring something personal that had previously been excluded from screens because of its gender deviance (and in broader society explicitly condemned). This doesn’t make a claim on Mix’s actual identity, but simply shows his willingness to understand and perform the expressions of his queer characters with an effort at empathy that many other actors would feel challenged to bring.

Some actors are chameleons, but some actors have a gift of a type within which they can explore depths and range that no one else can best. For me, that’s what Mix does in his work when directors and casting understands his talent. There’s a BTS video of Mix actually fainting during a scene while in Earth/Phupa’s embrace on the mountain that immediately brought to mind the wildly famous final scene in the film Camille where Greta Garbo as Marguerite dies in her lover’s arms.

For Mix, it was a serious incident due to regrettably extreme conditions and requiring the on-set paramedics, but these levels of theatrics, for me, are emblematic of what Mix is capable of as a performer, as well. After all, he had to faint in Phupa’s arms multiple times on purpose. It’s the kinds of Old Hollywood and heightened sentimental romance realms Mix takes his performances to! Then he can turn around and make it look easy to take that same character into grounded quips or dedicated everyday tasks. It only takes writers, directors, and audiences willing to see that men can feel this way and act this way. Mix has paved the way.

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Unrequited // Hazel Callahan

request: Could you write a college Hazel x femme reader where they're roommates and Hazel is in their shared room upset, crying cause they have a really horrible friend who convinced Hazel that reader doesn't like her back and got all in her head about it.

prompts: none!

summary: when pj convinces hazel that there’s no way you could return her feelings, hazel starts to push you away, hurting you in the process.

warnings: none!

word count: 1.5k

a/n: gn!reader, reader is implied to be a lesbian

join my taglist!

“Look, you need to get over yourself. It’s never going to happen. Ever,” PJ said as she sat down next to Hazel.

Before PJ had so rudely interrupted, Hazel was gazing at you from across the quad, blissfully lost in her thoughts about you. Since the beginning of the school year, all Hazel could think about was you. You had been assigned as roommates, and ever since Hazel first saw you she was utterly, completely, and hopelessly in love with you. And sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if you could ever feel the same. But unfortunately, PJ wasn’t having it.

“What?” Hazel asked as she looked over to PJ, a bit startled by her sudden appearance and slightly aggressive tone.

“There is no way they like you back. None. Zero. So get over it.”

Hazel frowned at her best friend’s words. “You really think so?”

PJ groaned in exasperation. “Uh, yeah. I mean just look at them. They’re like the straightest person ever. And even if by some miracle they were gay, there’s no way in hell you could pull them.”

Hazel tried not to let it show how much PJ’s words had affected her, but they had cut deep. Her eyes watered slightly and she quickly blinked to fight back the tears. Of course you would never like her. You’re… amazing. And she’s just… Hazel.

“Yeah… maybe you’re right,” Hazel sniffled, ultimately failing to hold back her tears. “Uhm, I- I’m gonna go. See you later.”

Hazel gathered her things and headed towards her dorm room, hurriedly wiping away her tears. At that moment, you looked up and saw her storming away, looking utterly miserable, and you felt your heart ache. You hated it when Hazel was sad, of course, you hated when anyone was sad, but with Hazel it was different. All you wanted was for her to be happy, and it killed you when she wasn’t. Hurriedly grabbing your bag, you rushed after her, hoping you could help make her smile again.

~

You were about to open the door to your dorm when you heard a soft sniffling from the other side. You frowned, Hazel was crying. So instead, you lightly knocked on the door, not wanting to intrude if she wanted to be alone.

“Hazel? Can I come in?” you asked, pressing your ear against the door and straining to hear her answer.

When she didn’t answer, you raised your hand to knock again, but Hazel pulled the door open just before you could. You felt your heart sink at the look of utter devastation on her face, and you wished you could just take all her pain away.

You stepped forward to hug her, but Hazel stepped back, walking over to her bed and sitting back down, pulling her knees to her chest.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Hazel always let you hug her. Something must’ve really been wrong.

You stepped inside and shut the door behind you before you walked over to your bed and sat down, facing her. You slipped your bag off your shoulder and pulled off your jacket, waiting to see if Hazel wanted to talk about it. When it became clear that she didn’t want to say anything, you took it upon yourself to break the silence.

“Hazel, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Hazel didn’t reply, staring blankly into space. Now you were really worried. She was almost never sad, and even when she was it wasn’t this bad. You stood up and walked over to her, sitting down beside her.

“Talk to me. Please. I wanna help,” you whispered, looking at her intently.

Hazel shook her head and hugged her legs tighter. “You can’t help me. You’re just making this worse.”

Your heart shattered at her words. The last thing you would ever want to do was hurt you. You loved her. And seeing her so miserable just broke your heart.

“Are you upset with me? Did I do something?”

Hazel sighed, her sobs quieting down slightly. “Just go away. Leave me alone.”

Your felt your eyes begin to water as her words struck you. She had to have been upset with you, but you had no idea what you’d done. She was so upset she didn’t even want you around her. All you wanted to do was make it better, to make her smile again. But it was starting to seem like it wouldn’t be such an easy fix this time.

“Alright then. If that’s what you want, I’ll leave you alone,” you said, getting up and grabbing your jacket, heading out of the room to give Hazel the space she asked for.

Once you were gone, Hazel only started to cry harder. She could tell her words had hurt you, and that just made her feel worse. She didn’t want you to leave, not really. It’s just that being around you only reminded her of what she couldn’t have. And that only made everything she was feeling even worse.

~

It had been a few days since you had found Hazel crying in your shared dorm room, and ever since she had pretty much been avoiding you. You missed her so much, you were so used to spending almost every day with her, and now that she was avoiding you, all you could feel was the pain of her missing presence.

You just wanted her back. You wanted to know what you did to hurt her so badly. You wanted to fix it, to make things right again so you could finally have the best thing that had ever happened to you back in your life again. But as the days passed, you knew the likelihood of that was dwindling.

You were sitting on your bed attempting to do homework, not making any progress because all you could think about was Hazel, when the door opened and Hazel stepped in. Her eyes widened when she saw you, a grimace appearing on her face.

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d be here. I think I’m just gonna go…” she said awkwardly, turning to walk back out the door.

“Don’t go! Please…” the utter desperation in your voice made Hazel stop in her tracks.

You sniffled, all of your pent up emotions finally spilling out. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Whatever I did to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. Just please… tell me how I can fix this,” you pleaded, your voice breaking as you began to cry.

Hazel felt horrible. She had only been ignoring you to protect her own feelings, and she didn’t even stop to consider yours. Hazel closed the door behind her and walked over to your bed, sitting down beside you.

“You- you didn’t do anything,” Hazel admitted guiltily.

“Then why are you avoiding me? Why do you hate me so much? Did you just get tired of me?” you began to cry harder, too overwhelmed by your feelings.

“I- I can’t say…” Hazel mumbled, torn between wanting to comfort you and keeping her feelings hidden out of fear of pushing you away ever more than she already had.

You turned to look at her, your eyes red and puffy and your cheeks wet with tears. Hazel frowned, and against her better judgment, she pulled you into a hug. You felt yourself relax into her embrace, hugging her back tightly, not ever wanting to let go.

“Hazel, please. Just tell me what’s wrong. I love you. I don’t want things to just end like this.”

Hazel froze. Surely she must’ve heard you wrong. There’s no way you could’ve just said that you loved her. It just wasn’t possible.

“What did you just say?” Hazel asked, slightly in shock from what she thought she heard.

You sighed and pulled away from her embrace, wiping your tears away with the back of your hands. “I- I said I love you. I know this is an absolutely horrible time to say something like this, especially because you seem to hate being around me all of a sudden, but I love you. I’ve loved you practically since we first met. And I know that-”

Hazel cut you off, connecting her lips to yours. You squeaked in shock from the unexpected action before completely melting into her touch. You kissed back eagerly, not ever wanting the moment to end.

Hazel pulled away first, resting her forehead against yours as she panted for breath. Coming down from the high of finally getting to kiss the girl you’ve been in love with for months, you only felt more confused.

“I’m sorry,” Hazel said, taking your hands in hers. “I- I never meant to hurt you like this. I- I love you too. And I was only avoiding you like this because PJ had me convinced that you could never like me back and I just couldn’t stand to be around you because of how much it hurt. But I never realized that I would be hurting you too. I am so so sorry. Is there any way you could forgive me?”

You smiled softly, sniffling again as you wiped away your tears. “I’ll forgive you. On one condition.”

Hazel nodded eagerly. “Yeah, anything.”

You smiled as you leaned in. “Kiss me again.”

tags: @hazelvrr

[noturlondonboy]

Werewolf. Were… Wednesday?

Part 1

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair

Werewolf Wednesday AU

A/N: I really love this concept so I’m excited to see if others like it too. Enjoy!

Enid had a bad feeling about today as soon as she woke up. For starters, it was her actual alarm that had her rousing instead of Wednesday's intense gaze inches from her face, and that in itself had her mood a bit jilted.

Breakfast proved another point. Yoko was sick and therefore absent to indulge in Enid's latest gossip, and Bianca wasn't exactly very chatty. This left the werewolf with Ajax and a very sleepy Xavier. The two boys were leaning into each other and giggling softly every time the artist would start to doze off against his boyfriend's shoulder, only for one of Ajax's snakes to poke at him through the beanie.

Damnit. Enid missed Wednesday. She couldn't handle being single in front of all this cute gay shit by herself. Where had her roommate gone? It was unusual for her to miss breakfast. It was the only meal they tended to share and the girl hated when her schedule got messed up, even a little.

It started raining as soon as she stepped foot outside.

"Great." Enid walked quickly across the quad in a mess of grumbling and wet blonde hair, and she shook herself out best she could before making her way to her first class of the day- potions.

Another thing about today being an absolute thumbs down. Enid sucked at this class.

But she perked up immediately once she walked through the door and spotted Wednesday in her usual seat, her soft squeal earning a confused smile from Divina in the back row. Wednesday heard her as well and turned to watch as Enid skipped her way to their desk and slid into her spot, grinning at her dark friend.

"Hi, Wednesday," Enid whispers excitedly, trying to be mindful of the fact that class was technically starting. Wednesday is just looking at her with her normally blank expression, but then the neutrality seems to lessen and she almost looks amused.

"You're soaking wet, Enid. You're going to have our room stinking of wet dog."

Enid beams at her. "Yeah probably."

That gets an entire eyebrow raise. "Have you fallen ill? You're happier than what I'm accustomed to and it's making me want to stab Xavier."

"Hey!" Xavier goes ignored from behind them.

Enid shakes her head but does make an effort to ring out her hair a bit more so she doesn't accidentally smack Wednesday in the face with a damp pink strand. "Nope, just happy to see my roomie after missing her all morning." Today was starting to feel a little less terrible already.

Something strange crosses over Wednesday's face but she's interrupted before she can respond. "Good morning kiddos!" Mr. Faroshti claps his hands to get everyone's attention, his fangs glinting as he grins widely.

That was a dangerous look when it came to him.

"We're doing something a little special today, and it's gonna be partner work- so if you're not happy with your table mate... deal with it." He shrugs and walks to his desk as a couple of students groan. Xavier and Ajax are making kicked-puppy eyes at each other from across the room. Enid just nudges Wednesday with her shoulder and wiggles around a bit.

Even if she was more likely to blow something up than not, Wednesday was always patient and willing when helping her as long as she was actually trying to stay focused. Everything would be fine.

Mr. Faroshti passed around a medium sized box to each desk and instructed them all to open it and get started on what he was only now calling a "mystery serum." Wednesday seemed rather bored of the activity, right up until she was halfway through reading the instructions and gave an actual smile.

"Good, it involves blood. That puts me at ease."

Enid grimaced, looking warily down at the open box and what could see of vials and containers full of whatever they were going to use. "Of course it does."

Wednesday almost starts to hum as she busies herself with carefully removing all of the ingredients, handing the instructions over for Enid to read. "You'll be fine, puppy. I'll handle the blood."

Enid doesn't know how to react to the name or the girl's thoughtfulness, so she just does as she's told and ignores the glow on her cheeks.

Halfway through the potion, Wednesday excused herself to the restroom and levels a stare that has Enid sitting ram-rod straight. "Get the next two steps done while I'm gone, they're relatively simple. A pinch of whatever animal essence is in that sealed bag, and a few drops of liquified bone marrow. Stir how it shows you." And then she's gone, her braids swishing lightly behind her.

Enid blinks, bringing herself back to the task at hand. The remaining ingredients are spread out over the table around their mini mixing cauldron, and she located the animal bag and bone marrow before starting to panic. Each box held a different animal essence for each potion, and it was just by chance that the one given to her and Wednesday contained a tuft of wolf fur. The problem was that it looked quite a bit more than a pinch.

But it wouldn't have anything in the box that didn't need to go in the potion, right? Enid looks at it quizzically for a moment before shrugging and dropping the entire bundle into the concoction. The fur sizzles for a moment, then dissolves into the steaming liquid, leaving it a deep brownish red.

The bone marrow goes in without a hitch (ignoring the fact that a fourth of it splashed out onto Enid's hands-it burned like hell for a moment) and then the werewolf carefully stirs the potion until it smooths out. Wednesday appears moments later, surveying the scene.

"You didn't catch your hair on fire. Good."

Enid scowls as her roommate sits back down. "That was one time!"

Wednesday glances at her, lips twitching. "Did you finish the next two steps?"

"I- yeah."

There's a nod of acknowledgment, and Wednesday takes over, measuring and pouring the rest of the ingredients in. Once the shimmering gold liquid is contained in a vial, Mr. Faroshti comes around from where he was helping a struggling Ajax to take a look at it.

"Excellent work, girls! That was done in record time," he beams, holding the potion up to the lantern lighting to peer at it. He hesitates, then frowns, turning the vial this way and that to get a better look. "That's strange..." He carefully holds it close to his nose and wafts the scent closer to him for a second. Mr. Faroshti visibly holds back a gag. "Hoooh boy, that's a strong Werewolf smell. And I think the gold shading might be a little off."

Wednesday's eyebrows shoot up on her head, and she turns to a nervous Enid. "Enid, how much of the animal essence did you put in?"

Enid feels the need to shrink in on herself, tugging anxiously at her damp hair. "Um, well, there wasn't very much of it so..."

"Enid."

"Ok, I added all of it!"

Mr. Faroshti whistles and shakes his head. "Yeah, that's why it looks weird. Go ahead and pour it back in and water it down to balance it out, and I'll take another look at it." He hands the vial back to Enid, who takes it sheepishly with her rain-wet fingers.

And promptly drops it as the glass slips out of her hands.

Said vial crashes onto the desk and shatters into a mess of glimmering gold liquid...

Right onto Wednesday.

Everyone in the room freezes, including Wednesday. She had her blazer off and her sleeves rolled to her elbows today, which meant the potion had coated her arms and splashed to splatter over her chest and neck, dripping onto her skirt. Her eyes were wide and she had her hands up off the desk, as if she didn't quite know what to do with herself. Enid was staring at her roommate with a horrified expression.

She's going to kill me.

But Wednesday turned to Mr. Faroshti, grinding her teeth. "Sir, what kind of potion were we making?"

He swallowed tightly, red eyes ping-ponging over the mess in the hopes of properly assessing the situation. "It was a temporary transfiguration solution. But it was too potent and it got onto your skin..." He shook his head and seemed to come back to life, getting the attention of the other students. "Everyone, Bianca is in charge for a short time while I take Wednesday to the infirmary. Please be very careful when reading the instructions, and leave your work inside the mixing cauldrons for now, until I'm back. Nobody touch the spill."

He hurriedly had Wednesday up on her feet and rushed her out the door, and Enid gaped after them, chest feeling tight. What was that potion going to do to her friend?

Ajax and Xavier slid onto her bench on either side of her to console the werewolf, but she barely heard them through the ringing in her ears. She just looked down at her now dry hands and tried to keep breathing.

Bad day it was.

[kenzieofeverything]

hi chat i havent rain drawn rain world in a bit

so i give you my favorite ship that ive ever came up with

murder mystery!!

hunter x arti x spearmaster x chieftain my beloved

i love this polycule so much because you have a bunch of yuri and then a cis guy /silly

if you want a little more ship explanation, here

i like to imagine that this ship happens in an au where regicide and love letter are already canon (hunter x spearmaster and artificer x chieftain) pre-arti and chieftain meeting hunter and spearmaster

during hunter's mission, spearmaster comes with her and they both get the idea to cause chaos to kinda get back at pebbles hurting spearmaster during their delivery run

so, they break into metropolis, get caught by scavengers, and brought to "the chieftains" so they can figure out what to do with them

this consists of miscellaneous stuff, you could imagine them having a rivalry and hunter and spears trying to fight their out of it only to fail and get put on trail or something (enemies to lovers polycule lets go) you could imagine that arti and chieftain just let them vibe and they all grow as a quad (slow burn polycule lets go) or whatever you want, it can go a lot of different ways and i love the ways that i imagine it spreading out from here

but eventually hunter thinks arti's hot, spearmaster's chill about that, and chieftain's chill about that too, so they all get into a big polycule and they're yuri and gay and they kiss and snuggle in a big yet cramped shelter and spearmaster gets deep pressure therapy YIPPEEE !!!

[escaped-cryptid]

Thinking about a “Wayne family once said” comp in universe

“Wait what’s an NDA? Ohhhhhh that’s what I signed” -Tim

“Wear a mask dipshits. Also raise medical staff wages” -Jason

“Huh, we’ll I think my public image is pretty good based one the writings on certain websites.” -Bruce

“I name my acts after what injury I got when I first try them” -Dick

Cont. “This one’s called Quad Tear!!”

“Do you think I have room for a flip” “NOT AGAIN” -Dick, Bruce

“Happy Pride month Crime is legal for the gays!” -Dick “Crimes always been legal for us we’re rich.” -Jason “Yeah but we don’t have to pay people this month” -Damian “Can you guys say anything without giving me a lawsuit” -Bruce

“I mean who doesn’t think night wing is hot, have you seen him?!” -Dick

“I was dead once 10/10” -Jason

“I have been told to accept that people believe I am ‘cute’ and ‘cuddly’ however false the statement may be” -Damian

[uglygirlstatus]

the whole absence of jarchie thing from the finale is still haunting me. like they literally could have slipped in one more line from Betty like "and I think even Jug and Arch might've had some fun of their own". like they didn't even have to show it on screen so as to appease Cole Sprouse's nefarious avoidance of gay kissing. there's even a little plausible deniability to keep things cheeky and noncommittal, but still suggestive enough for us to run with it. one sentence and we could have had it all. and instead i'm going to be on my death bed one day still thinking about how Jughead and Archie wouldn't close the quad

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Here are 10 2024 election day races I'll be watching other than the big one. For the record, just because I want to fuck someone, does not mean I'd vote for someone. Unlike emotionally weak people, I can differentiate between the two.

10. West Virginia Gubernatorial Matchup

Incumbent Jim Justice cannot run for re-election in 2024 due to term limits. But I'll get to him later on the list.

Steve Williams (D) vs Patrick Morrisey (R)

Kinda a toss up here as I could live with either one. BUT… if I had to pick, it's going to be Williams. Although I prefer the big boys like Morrisey, Steve is better looking. But going by the polls, Morrisey is the next governor of West Virginia.

9. Maryland Senate Matchup

Incumbent Ben Cardin not running for re-election in 2024.

Angela Alsobrooks (D) vs Larry Hogan (R)

Well… I'm rooting for Hogan here mainly for the thing I had for him. But the the polls have Alsobrooks taking the seat here.

8. Rhode Island Senate Matchup

Incumbent Sheldon Whitehouse (D) vs Patricia Morgan (R)

According to the polls, Whitehouse's seat is safe.

7. Virginia Senate Matchup

Hung Cao (R) vs Incumbent Tim Kaine (D)

According to the polls, it could be a close race, but I think Kaine's seat is safe. Which is good as expect big things from in the future. Maybe another vice presidency run?

6. California House Matchup

Will Rollins (D) vs Ken Calvert (R)

An openly gay man vs a closeted gay man. Allegedly. Allegedly. According to the polls, it's a toss up.

5. Nebraska House Matchup

Don Bacon (R) vs Tony Vargas (D)

I'm rooting for Bacon here. Why you ask? He's handsome. Plus he has a nice set of man tits. And I love tits. Sadly, the polls say he's behind.

4. Missouri Gubernatorial Matchup

Incumbent Mike Parson cannot run for re-election in 2024 due to term limits. Sad as I love Mike.

Mike Kehoe (R) vs Crystal Quade (D)

Mike has it in the bag according to the polls.

3. West Virginia Senate Matchup

Incumbent Joe Manchin not running for re-election in 2024.

Aww… I barely got to know ya.

Jim Justice (R) vs Glenn Elliott (D)

Justice is ahead big. Just like the rest of him.

2. Texas Senate Matchup

Incumbent Ted Cruz (R) vs Colin Allred (D)

According to the polls, this one will be tight. Like I want Ted's ass to be. That right, I'm rooting for Cruz. I know a lot of you hate him, but I still want to leave my goo in him.

1. Montana Senate Matchup

Tim Sheehy (R) vs Incumbent Jon Tester (D)

Currently, Jon is behind. But hopefully he'll pull it out in the end. Something I thought I'd never say about Jon.

[andypx]

guys, so i was reading *disintegration* by moonymoment, got to like 13% and paused. now, some time later, i was thinking about picking it up again, but then i checked out jude's other works and saw there's like this quad relationship between mary, lily, james, and regulus. i ship jegulus and marylily, but poly couples aren't really my thing, you know? so idk, i lost the vibe to keep reading. if it was just jily, or jegulus, or marylily, I'd read it, but like this, it’s doesn’t work for me. and the worst part is, the author writes so damn well, but in my head, there's just no version of Regulus that isn't gay.

someone agree with me?😕

[grimreaperschild]

Guitar practice 5 family escapades

summary: family day goes exactly how you expected, enid and wednesday are probably going to make you go grey by the time schools out

warnings: drug use, violence, swearing if i’ve missed any lmk

a/n: sorry it took me so long to get this out guys :0 just to make it clear this is callum speaking this is rs thoughts happy reading-🦷 ❤️

———————————————————————

You shuffle around in your seat for what must be the 30th time in the last 5 minutes, your eyes dart up from the table and land on your mother she’s got fat you try and fail to hide the snort that leaves your lips at the untimely comment “something funny, little torch?” the nickname has you gritting your teeth “no ma’am” your brother leans across the bench “I heard your taking a girl to that stupid school dance” you freeze “yeah the raven” your mother cocks an eyebrow “a girl? What we raised someone gay now?” y/n cool it you take a breath “looks like it Tracy” “jack what you think of this” jacks your second oldest brother born 2 years after callum you don’t like to admit it, but he scares you 6ft and all muscle.

“I think I gotta teach our little torch a lesson” your head turns at the comment looking for enid your heart sinks at the realisation that the only other family in the quad are the addams’s “no common please” your aware of how small your voice is and you don’t like it before she can reply your being hauled out of your seat and a fist connects with your stomach he grabs the back of your hoodie pulling you towards the exit, panic floods through you and in a last ditch effort to avoid whatever your oh so loving family has in store for you a name falls from your lips “enid” it’s small at first but the further away from the bench jack drags you and the more you thrash the louder you get and soon your crying out her name “enid enid please” “shut up” your brother grunts as he throws you on the stairs.

From your angle on the floor you realise that Wednesday isn’t sat with her family huh? Is that really what I should be thinking about right now? Cover your head y/n fuck cover your head cals voice snaps you out of your thoughts and your arms shoot up to cover your head unfortunately not in time to stop the kick that leaves you seeing starts “fuck” you groan out and brace yourself for the next blows that surprisingly don’t come, when your vision finally clears you see enid thank you thank you thank you and Wednesday she has a knife to jacks throat “now you get away from my child” your mothers hurrying towards your little huddle “enid?” she’s by your side as soon as she hears your voice “im here, I got you” black dots start swimming in your eyes as a tall figure steps out protectively infront of you “and you stay away from mine” yes ma you tell the bitch the world goes black.

When you wake theres a hand in yours and a very worried looking weems stood by the end of your bed “ma” she smiles “your ok” “is that a question or a statement because if it’s a question the answers no” enid chuckles from your side “she’s fine” she kisses your forhead and stands “i’ll give you guys some space” you nod and as soon as the curtains slip shut you eye your hands and let out a sheepish “hi ma” larissa let’s out a dry chuckle “I thought i said no letting my sister visit y/n” she’s mad and you know it “ma im sorry” she hums “detention, 2 weeks with miss thornhill” you groan “yes mam, could you send enid in?” she leaves without another word and enid pops her head in “you called” you give her a toothy smile “come cuddle” she clambers into your bed in the infirmary with the grace of an exited puppy and pulls you into her chest you nuzzle your head into her neck happily “hey you and Wednesday?” enid sighs “we had a little chat, actually it was interrupted when I heard you calling for me” you bury your head into her neck in embarrassment “oh god don’t remind me” she traces love hearts on the back of your neck “what were you and nes talking about” “I think me and her should finish that convo before I get you involved babe” “babe huh? What are we girlfriends” you wiggle your eyebrows and she giggles “not yet miss eager, soon maybe” “ohhhh only maybe? Nah I get it the pyro isn’t good enough for you” she rolls her eyes “whatever you say y/n, now get some rest” you smile as your eyes get heavy.

Your head throbs as you crack your eyes open for the second time today, enid is nowhere to be found and you ignore the pang of hurt that flashes through you, opting to send her a text

7:34pm

(y/n): hey, woke up and you were gone :(

You set your phone aside as someone peeks in at you “she’s alive!” you giggle at your roommate “unfortunately” she climes into bed next to you pulling you in for a hug “you have a concussion, they cleared you to go back to your dorm I came to get you” she catches how your face falls “what’s up n/n” “enid left without a goodbye” yoko gasps “does this call for our first girls night of the year” you swat at her knee “your far too exited but yes I gotta fill you in”

You grab another biscuit as you lay with your head in yokos lap looking up at her as she lights the 3rd splif of the evening “I don’t know it’s like she’s there and then she’s not” you huff and steal the splif “we haven’t even spoken about matching outfits for the raven and it’s this weekend” ghosted “oh shut up callum your not helping” yoko raises an eyebrow “have you texted her recently” you shoot up “yes hours ago” you reach for your phone that you’d haphazardly thrown at your pillows in frustration.

8:04pm

(enid❤️): hey baby sorry I had some stuff to sort out

You leave her on seen, “one message, one singular message” you put on a voice “I had some stuff to sort out” you take another hit passing it back to yoko “let’s go for a midnight walk, please?” she stands and shrugs her coat on, she knows better than to try and say no to you. You strut down the corridors yoko following happily before passing you the splif when you reach the quad, you all but throw yourself on the fountain in frustration giggling at the way yoko looks from this angle not to be a snitch but enid’s trying to slink off over there your head shoots up and you see her and Wednesday scurrying off what the fuck? “addams” your voice echo’s through the empty quad and she freezes, enid turns around and clasps her hands infront of her “baby he” “don’t” you cut her off eyes not leaving the goths back “come, raven” ohhh your in your manipulative girl era ok that was kinda funny you watch as the notoriously uncaring girl falls over herself to get to you, your well aware of what’s coming so you stand not wanting you both to be thrown into the fountain reaching your hand out offering the splif back to yoko “3 then im killing it” again she knows not to argue. Wednesdays small form collides into you, her hands grabbing at the back of your jacket like you might disappear, she presses a soft kiss to your collarbone and sniffles slightly.

You push her away as enid approaches a shy smile on her face, yoko hands you the splif here we go “we need to talk” you hum, unsatisfied with her choice of words “I gathered that, your dorm or mine” Wednesdays hand grabs your sleeve and enid reaches for her wrist pulling you along “ours” what is this? Peter pan? Yes im going to follow you both to your dorm in a line you pause i’d follow you both anywhere actually you shoot a look at yoko over your shoulder pulling the only half smoked gone out splif from your mouth holding it in your hand “text me” she calls “i’ll come get you” you give her a stiff nod before your whisked out of view. ———————————————————————

taglist: @thedemoninme141 @alphaniner1415 @ctrlamira @allison-iloveyou

[moodymelanist]

happy wip Wednesday everyone! here’s a little sneak peek of my guy!nesta x cassian fic for @nessianweek 👀👀

“Cassian,” Nes suddenly interjected before Cassian could respond, his voice as icy as his eyes. Cassian turned to see a muscle in the other man’s jaw working overtime as he stared Mor down. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your… friend?”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Cassian said sheepishly. Jesus fuck, where were his manners? “Nes, this is my friend Mor. Mor, this is Nes. We’re lab partners this semester.”

“It’s Earnest Nathaniel, actually,” Nes corrected coldly. His eyes zeroed in on where Mor’s hand was still on Cassian’s arm, and Cassian jumped out of her grip like he’d been burned. “I don’t do nicknames.”

“I’m Morrigan, then, if we’re being formal,” Mor replied with a roll of her eyes. Cassian didn’t know why things were suddenly so tense, but he’d do anything to get that blank look off of Nes’ face. “Aren’t you friends with Eris?”

“Since middle school,” Nes answered shortly. Cassian had to blink back his surprise; normally Nes was always ready to talk about how he and Eris had gone from bonding over being the two oldest sons in their respective families to being roommates all four years. He didn’t know what had changed now, but it left him feeling uneasy all the same.

“Then we’ve definitely met before,” Mor responded. Cassian remembered that she and Eris had had a brief fling their sophomore year before Eris abruptly realized he was gay and had started dating Azriel not too long after. “We’ve probably seen each other around, at least.”

“I don’t recall,” Nes told her stiffly. He made a big show of checking his phone before sliding it back into his pocket and shouldering his backpack. “I have to go, I’m running late for something. Have fun with your friend.”

“See you… around,” Cassian finished lamley, watching helplessly as Nes’ long legs carried him halfway across the quad in record time. He turned back to Mor with a sigh. “I don’t know why he’s being like that.”

Mor stared at Cassian like he was the biggest idiot in the world for several long moments, eventually throwing her hands up with a loud scoff. “Az was right. You’re actually such a dumbass.”

“What?” Cassian said, totally thrown by Mor’s response. She just shook her head at him before she took off too, leaving him standing by himself wondering what, exactly, he’d done to piss off not one, but two people in such record time. “Thanks for the help! Not!”

Cassian still didn’t understand just what he’d done to make Nes so upset, but by the time Thursday’s lab rolled around, he was determined to make things right. Nes hadn’t answered his texts all weekend, but after Cassian had reposted one of Mor’s Instagram stories from Wednesday night rails with her and her girlfriend, Nes was suddenly much happier to see him.

Weird.

[bingo6776]

may i pleaaase have a “i hate everyone but her” wednesday, where she literally cannot breathe without Fem!R by her side, and she would do anything, anything, to make R happy, even if it meant sacrificing her infamous reputation as a cold-hearted, blue-blooded sadist by wearing a sparkly pink sweater R knit for her around the school, just to see R laugh and tease her about it. but if anyone else were to even dare mention it or make fun of R for making her go through this, she would gladly slit their throat as slow and as torturously as possible in front of everyone. basically really whipped wednesday and shy and soft reader. thank you in advance<333🫡

Wednesday almost killing someone in a pink sweater? YES!!!!

i hope this is what you were hoping for <333

3k

Without moving your eyes from the clock you watched as the hands ticked way too slowly towards the end of your Werewolf Anatomy lessons – you hope it was Werewolf Anatomy, you hadn’t really been paying attention to anything the teacher was droning on about. Wednesday would definitely need to help you study for the class later.

When the bell finally rang, you practically swept your arm across the desk to force your books and pens into your bag as quickly as you could. did you lose a few pens as they clattered to the floor? Yes. Did you care? Not at all.

It was finally the lunch period, which meant that your “I will stomp on your heart” girlfriend would be waiting outside for you, a bag of “I will put my needs first” pastries she had picked up from the Weathervane during her free period, specifically for you, in her hand.

‘Stomp on my heart my ass’  you thought as you tried to push your way into the crowded hallway.

As you’re finally able to fight – literally, you took a few elbows to the ribs – your way out of the crowd of people huddled by your classroom door for no particular reason, your eyes immediately fall onto Wednesday, who, unsurprisingly, is glaring at anyone who stepped too close to her in the middle of the busy hallway.

 Again, unsurprisingly, despite the throng of bodies that left very little space to move, there was a bubble around the gothic girl where no one dared to step out of fear of being maimed for life.

Except you, of course.

When her eyes finally found your own, the itching in her right hand to let her dagger fall into her grasp was overwhelmed by the urge to simply hold onto your hand, to let the warmth of your skin seep into the coldness of her own. She thought it was sickening that her hand sought out your own the second you were within reach, she absolutely adored the way her stomach twisted painfully in her stomach at the soft smile that you graced her with the second she did.

“And how are you doing today?” you strike up the conversation as you both walk towards the large tree in the quad that provides another shade against the shining sun for you to lounge comfortably under. “Any dead bodies? Mysterious stalkers?”

“Sadly, no. It seems that whoever decided to begin the game of cat and mouse took the week off,” she leans back against the tree, allowing your head to fall onto her shoulder as she hands you the brown bag.

“Yeah, well, uh… fingers crossed for another murder soon, then?” 

She only smirks in response, her form of gracing you with a full-blown smile in public, because God forbid anyone sees the absolutely adorable dimple that she had when she really smiled.

Your mind swam with thoughts of the girl, ‘fuck, I am such a gay ass mess for her’, being one of the most dominant thoughts. 

Once some time had passed and you knew lunch was coming to an end, you lifted your head from her shoulder and started fiddling with your hands as you dodged her curious gaze at the sudden lack of contact between you.

“So, Enid’s gonna be at Yoko’s tonight, right? With Divina?” you wait for the confirmation nod, despite already having asked the blonde werewolf earlier. “I was wondering if you were busy later tonight? If you are it’s totally fine, obviously, I was just curious.”

You awkwardly clear your throat, trying to prevent the absolute word vomit you knew was impending from leaving your mouth.

“Cara mia, I am free for you whenever you ask me to be. I was already thinking of asking if you would like to come to my dorm later, I miss being able to have you to myself without these idiotic buffoons crowding us,” the howling from one of the furs that sounded more like a cat screeching than a powerful beast accentuating her point.

“Okay, okay cool cool cool. I’ve got a class, so I’ll see you later?” you place a rushed kiss on her cheek as you practically trip over your own feet in your haste to separate yourself from Wednesday before you could embarrassingly ramble your way into revealing your plans for later.

‘Keep it together, damn.’

----

Exhaling softly, you adjust the black parcel in your hand and softly knock at the door.

Does she even like gifts? Yes, she showers you in them consistently, the Addams’ wealth allowing her to do so without a second thought – although you were well aware of how much she appreciated her upbringing, despite seeming as if she does not. But did she like getting them?

‘God, I fucking hope so’

 Before you could fall even further into the pit of self-doubt, the door swung open. 

If you thought you’d ever get used to seeing Wednesday in her oversized hoodie that reached her knees, paired with the softest pair of sweatpants you’ve ever seen, the ones she only wears around you, you were far from wrong. You would never get over how absolutely beautiful the girl looked, forever being shocked that she was yours. 

Trying to remember that you needed to breathe and that whilst it may be poetic to die because your girlfriend literally took your breath away, it was also humiliating. All she had to do was look at you and you felt like you were drowning.

Clearing your throat, you try to shake the thoughts of gayness from your mind. 

‘Time and a place, y/n, time and a place.’

“Hey, Wends,” you step into the room, her hand immediately holding onto your own as she pulls you towards her bed. 

“Y/N,” she murmurs before gently placing her lips on your own, it wasn’t sexual or overwhelming, it was just so goddamn soft and loving.

A dreamy sigh left your lips as she pulled away, pushing you to sit with your back against the headboard, already leaning down to place her head in your lap as she reaches for a book so ancient you were surprised it hadn’t already crumbled to dust. 

Her lack of words didn’t add to your mounting anxiety, you knew Wednesday like the back of your hand – apart from gift giving apparently – and knew that her actions always spoke louder than her words. Her immediate comfort in your presence and allowing herself to be vulnerable around you meaning more than anyone else would have been able to guess.

Yet, despite the bundle of adorableness Wednesday was being right now, you had a plan.

Gently gripping her hand that was stretched towards the book, “Wends, actually, I- okay. Phew. I have something for you, it's nothing big or like, lavish, I guess. I made it myself. And I know it’s not your style, but I made it way before we started dating for you,” you shake your head at yourself gripping the wrapped gift harder than you probably should. “But I thought since I made it for you, you should have it, right? Like a belated birthday gift. You don’t have  to like i-“

“Y/N, as much as I love when you ramble, I think you are getting slightly off point,” her slightly calloused hand coming to rest upon your cheek.

Without uttering another word you all but thrust the gift in her direction, eyes glued to her face as she gently unwraps the black ribbon that held it all together. 

As her eyes landed on what was covered by the dark paper, the usually comfortable silence becomes deafening as it slowly drags on, each second passing feeling as if there were nails clawing away at your skin.

Silence.

Silence.

More fucking silence.

Her hand pulled the brightly coloured fabric upwards, letting the knitted sweater hover between the two of you, the contrast between her dark clothing currently and the sparkly pink sweater she held in her hand making you realise what a stupid, illogical gift idea this had been. 

“Oh, God. Yeah. No. Bad idea, understood. No hard feelings, yeah?” you feel the all-too-familiar heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck. “I was just bored; it was a stupid thing to make. Hey, if anything we can give it to Enid, right? Uh, okay, I’ll just-“

You reached out to remove the object from her grasp, ready to fling it and yourself over the balcony. Before you could even let a fingertip run over the fabric, her hand grabbed onto your wrist, forcing your hand away from the bundle of pink fabric.

As she released your wrist, she finally opened her mouth. “You’re right in saying it is not my usual style or colour scheme, but I don’t hate it. It was made from your hands, and I will treasure it more than you will know.”

“You sure? You don’t have to say you like it if you don’t,” you pull your eyes from hers and instead focus on pulling at a piece of loose thread in your own knitted sweater.

“Y/N, I swear to you that I do not hate it. From this point on, it will be one of my most prized possessions,” she smirks lightly as she adds “even above Thing.”

A series of furious tapping from Thing comes from the inside of Wednesday’s desk at being referred to as a possession, leading you to raise a brow at the amused look that crosses her face at her trapped companion

“Ignore him. He is being punished for attempting to help Enid paint my nails a disgustingly bright array of colours whilst I was asleep”

“Oh, and I get away free after giving you the sweater, do I? Is The Wednesday Addams finally coming around on the colour pink?!” you tap her nose lightly. “My adorable little raven. Not so intimidating now, are we?”

“I love you, mon cher, but if you insist on teasing me then you can join Enid on her next trip to the lupin cages on the full moon.”

You scoff at the obviously empty threat before delicately pulling the macabre girl to lay her head in your lap, a pleased hum coming from the girl.

Wednesday, intimidating? Ha. Funny.

---

Never once had you expected Wednesday to actually wear the sweater. Well, maybe every now and then in the dorm when Enid was out, and you came over for the night. But in public? Never.

Whilst Wednesday may not care too much about her reputation, you knew that she absolutely adored the terror that she instilled in people with a simple look, the way people cowered when they crossed her path without even having to utter a word or raise a finger. It truly was delightful in the psychic’s eyes. To be feared so easily.

With that being said, the way that your heart almost screeched to a halt when Wednesday stepped out of one of Nevermore's large school vehicles on another of the seemingly never-ending trips into Jericho in attempts to stop the unwarranted prejudice the normies had against the outcast community. 

Her usual dark attire had been replaced with the slightly too big sweater you had gifted her, the vivid pink making her stand out more than she usually would. Still, that didn’t tamper the murderous glint she had in her eyes, nor did it prevent people from parting like the red sea when she began her walk towards you.

She took her place next to you, her face passive as if she wasn’t doing anything so completely out of the ordinary that outcasts and normies alike kept glancing in their direction.

Laughing, you pointedly looked at your girlfriend’s choice of clothing until you met her gaze. “Wends, I love the look, but you really don’t have to wear it just so I don’t feel bad.”

Knocking her shoulder with yours slightly, she shook her head. “I want to it. Apart from the joy I pull from seeing the looks of horror and confusion washing over people’s faces, I want people to know that I am yours and you are mine,” pulling her eyes away from yours, she surveyed the bustle of people surrounding you. “Besides, it is surprisingly comfortable… and it smells like you. So, no more commenting on the sweater, I want to get a quad before all of these imbeciles flood the Weathervane.”

“Whatever you say, my darling rainbow,” placing a kiss on her cheek. 

Tugging you along in a way that Wednesday found herself doing more often than not, she felt content. she had you by her side, looks of fear from strangers she did not even bother to acknowledge reminding her of her home, and the memory of Enid’s panicked face at actually thinking Wednesday’s skin was about to melt from her body at the pink sweater that she threw on. 

All was perfect in her eyes.

Until the overly brave Yoko Tanaka thought the pink garment was a sign from Satan himself that teasing Wednesday would be a good idea. The vampire may have been decades old but that by no means meant she understood or had any self-control. It was something she and Enid were trying to work on together. 

“Woah, Addams,” she called from behind the couple, “who the fuck had to wrestle you into that thing?  It looks like a unicorn threw up all over your ass,” she lowered her tinted glasses slightly as she glanced between the two of you. “Damn, Y/N, you really have her on a leash, huh?”

At the comment, you felt embarrassment creep up your neck at Yoko’s taunts and the snickers it pulled from the few outcasts brave enough to make a sound around Wednesday. Realistically, you knew Yoko’s words were more so intended to annoy Wednesday than anything, but that didn’t make the situation any less awkward for you as you stood glancing between the cocky vampire and your seething girlfriend – if you weren’t scared she was going to murder Yoko, you would’ve been laughing at how adorable she looked, being all rageful wrapped in bright pink.

Yet, before you could even think of pulling Wednesday away, she pulled her hand from yours with a speed that you weren’t even sure a human – human? Was she human? You didn’t even pretend to know what the Addams’ were at this point – and had Yoko pinned against the brick wall of the Weathervane, the taller girl's head smacking against the brick in a way that made numerous people watching the ordeal wince.

And, of course, because Wednesday is Wednesday she held up a freshly sharpened blade against the vampire's throat.

“I know that you vampires like to act as if you are above everyone else, and whilst I do regret leaving my stake at Nevermore, I also know that you bleed and that you feel pain just like any other being on the planet, immortal or otherwise,” Wednesday presses her dagger against the girls throat harder. “With that in mind, Tanaka, I suggest you take whatever asinine comments you had hoped to make and leave before I lose my restraint and decide to see just how deeply I will have to carve my blade into your skin before your healing abilities fail you. Is that understood?”

Yoko could only give a rushed nod of her head, worried that if she tried to speak the blade would cut her skin. 

“Good. Before you run away, you should know that unlike you and your ‘creatures of the night,’ I do not need dark clothing or those ridiculous glasses to be feared by others, so I shall wear whatever choice of clothing I desire. And considering this was made by Y/N, you should apologise, because as you know, if you so much as look at her in a less than enthusiastic way, I will carve your heart from your chest.”

After a second or two of intense eye contact, Wednesday releases Yoko and returns to your side with her hand back in yours as if nothing happened.

Walking backwards Yoko nodded so fast a human may have gotten whiplash, “Yeah, no, totally. Really cute sweater. Really, really cute. Good job Y/N, it’s very good. The knitting is… is cute. Great, even! Amazing. Just so- so perfect.” 

Wednesday felt a smirk pulling at her lips as she saw the vampire stumble over her own feet to put as much distance between herself and the Addams, calling for Enid once she was sure she wouldn’t be chased, or more accurately, hunted down.

Turning your attention to the girl beside you, your eyes darted around her body looking for any signs of injury. “You okay, Willa?” 

At seeing no visible injuries, you placed your hand against the cool skin of her neck and stared into her dark eyes.

“Are you asking if I am okay after having Yoko pinned against the wall, with my blade at her throat?” Wednesday raised an incredulous brow at you. “She should be glad she walked away with her skin intact.”

“Wednesday!” She is literally a vampire. You know, vampire? Immortal? Bloodthirsty? Gobble gobble on human flesh?”

Scoffing at your words, she began walking towards the Weathervane again – she would still refuse to admit she had a slight (major) addiction to caffeine. “Please. I am an Addams; she should have known better than to insult a gift from my beloved and expect to walk away without any consequences.”

Deciding that there was no point in trying to unravel whatever the hell being an ‘Addams’ meant exactly, you only smirked as she dragged you along. “Well, thank you for defending my honour, my oh-so-charming knight in shining pink armour.”

“Y/N, you do remember that I have a dagger on me, correct? Multiple, in fact.”

“Wends, we’ve spoken about the daggers. You do not need that many, you hardly even need one!” 

“As much as I adore you, my love, the daggers are here to stay.”

You roll your eyes, brushing past Wednesday as she holds the door open for you, Wednesday smirking at your reaction.

If Enid noticed how Wednesday had cleared one of the drawers in her closet to fill with the array of clothing you made for her, she didn’t mention it. Mostly because Yoko had filled her in with extreme detail about how sharp Wednesday’s blade was. 

Nope, she refused to wake up with the gothic girl holding a knife above her head, it had happened one too many times already.

[missacidburn928]

It's a year old but here's some holiday spice for you all while I wait in the urgent care with my autistic son.

I Really Do Believe In You....

Steve Rogers × Bucky Barnes x Thor Odinson × POC Singer!Reader "Honey"

Let’s see if you believe in me.

The Avengers Holiday party. You are both a guest and part of the musical entertainment. Will you end up on the naughty or nice list?

You spot them as they enter the main ballroom. Your three strapping men, color coordinated and cutting intimidating frames in their suit choices. Thank the goddess you had a good hold on the mic as you waited for your cue to join Sy in singing White Christmas, or you might have literally swooned in front of this mass of party goers.

You start your verse as you watch them make their way over to the bar where the team, plus one Sharon Carter, have gathered. Thankfully tonight’s event is Jane Foster free, so it should be a good night with you, Sy and the Chanti’s house band entertaining Tony’s rich friends and employees before enjoying some much needed time with your men.

You can't help but feel festive in your short red dress, studded red fishnets and nude pumps. You’ve kept your makeup simple with a nude lip and a smokey eye. Your hair down and in its natural state. Sy made a comment when picking you up that you looked like Santa’s little Siren. Seems appropriate if you do say so yourself.

Per usual you notice Sharon being a bit too chummy with your Captain. The woman just can’t help herself. You know all about the “kiss” when they were trying to save your beloved Bucky. But according to Steve the reason it never went further was because there was no spark when their lips touched. And he tried giving her a chance, chalking the lack of spark up to the stress of the situation, but she was way too into his status and power. So he ended things before it made it any further than a couple dates and a subpar makeout session.

What is it with these prude ass women that hang around these strong ass people? Sharon, like Jane, thinks your quad is ridiculous and you don't need that many men. Especially when you added Steve in. 

“He should be upholding traditional values as he’s America's golden boy. Not flaunting such an alternative lifestyle. Hell if he was gay it would be easier than this bullshit. Why on Earth would you want to willingly share a woman with two other men. Not to mention one of those men is a God and the other a murderer.”

Let's not forget what she also stated in that little rant of hers, when she was unaware you could hear her perfectly clear from your spot in the common room. “I just don’t understand what he sees in her. Who stays in a band with someone they used to be fuck buddies with? It’s just tacky and sad. A man that powerful should be with someone who is only devoted to him and can boost his image, not damage it. ” 

I’ll show her tacky. Lord knows I'm certainly not above being petty. I’ve been behaving for far too long. Time to put these Siren skills to use. What good are they to have if you can’t fuck with uppity bitches using them.

Continue

[inchidentally]

(sorry for editing to keep things out of tags) (also preface that I ship pretty much anyone with anyone but that car lando, land oscar and char los are by far my favorites)

ok first and foremost I have to laugh so hard at them choosing Lando and Oscar?? as "pure PR" when

car|ando is quite LITERALLY used as Formula 1 PR ?? the official accounts of Ferr/ari, Mc|aren, Carlos' personal socials, Quad|rant,LN 4, F1, TV networks, Netflix and DTS,the whole of the Vegas race and every. single. sponsor. use car|ando to boost visibility. that's not a commentary on the validity of their friendship at all but it is quite literally a PR bromance that rakes in views and engagement

let's all be honest here the Mc|aren media folks are still hardcore car|ando people and can only bring themselves to remember the land|oscar ship name once in a blue moon (I have mixed feelings about that but I'm also not a fan of containment breaches so ig I'm relieved one of my ships isn't used as social media corporate currency??)

people's biggest complaint/compliment (depending on who's speaking) for Oscar is that he doesn't play up for cameras the way Carlos and Daniel do and struggles at PR !! literally he was only a little bit better at this in Prema and only because he'd known most of those boys for 5+ years already and their audience was tiny!

every single comment from a non fandom F1 fan on land|oscar content is how unusually shy Lando is around Oscar or how Oscar needs to "come out of his shell" and "not make Lando work so hard"

and Daniel "Mr. F1 PR Department" Ricc|ardo????? are they seriously saying Lando and Oscar (who are still trying to figure out how much they can even casually touch each other) are PR when Daniel and dan|do ticks every single bromance box????

like who the hell but a twitter user who ships rpf like it's a government conspiracy would pick land|oscar out of all Lando ships for a fake or publicity friendship when they literally don't do any of the pretend gay stuff or the horseplay or the memes etc. that is literally the wildest take I've heard in yeARS

anyway as usual I thought creepily deeply into this and decided to spend my time unable to sleep typing an essay weeeeeeeeee

see I was mostly lurking part time during the dando era so I wasn't sure but fr why isn't there this "competition" between dando and carlando like there is with carlando landoscar?? dando was MAJOR gay fandom service by comparison and they've consistently spent more time together outside of racing weekends and hobbies than Lando and Carlos since Carlos has always spent most of his travel and downtime during the season with Isa and now Rebecca. Daniel and Lando go on little excursions together even now and he was with Lando much longer as a teammate than Carlos.

so for people who've left reality to the point of thinking these men are in a genuine secret gay romance competition for Lando… surely Daniel/dando should be the ultimate enemy number one?? especially when evidence immediately surfaced that Carlos' thirst posts on Lando's bday were his side of the thirst posts Rebecca did the same day from their holiday right after the Brazilian GP, whereas Daniel took Lando with him in a small group of close friends to the desert after Vegas. if I were someone who thought that all F1 girlfriends are "PR escorts" - or whatever bullshit is the latest sexist woman-hating theory of choice - then I'd be so mad at Carlos for "ditching" Lando for Rebecca and then Daniel posting not one but two beautiful, moody pics of traveling with him. forget that Lando only reposted Oscar's birthday post, surely Daniel posting on the account he only made because of Lando with a camera he only bought because of Lando pictures OF LANDO is the biggest source of betrayal !!

I just. cannot imagine wanting rpf to be this exhausting and enraging when you can just ship all of them and also not create conspiracy theories about girlfriends that keep getting disproved at every turn.

but yeah as anon #2 said it's not even like carlando are super close friends outside of F1 (as Lando himself said) the way George and Alex are but I don't see anyone in rages about galex or their irl relationships or saying they can't be shipped with any other driver?? maybe I just don't see it on my feeds but it's definitely not as big a deal as the carlando exclusivity stuff that's been bubbling up everywhere.

and exactly! as sweet as it is that Lando and Carlos pair up in the few moments the drivers are all doing media duties etc together it's also what every. other. driver. is doing with their buddies. sometimes they stand in larger groups but those moments are when they get to catch up with guys outside their own team. Oscar and Logan find each other every single time and a lot of that time they spend away from the other drivers. Max and Charles, Yuki and Pierre, Esteban and Lance etc etc. much as I would love it if this implied that all of these driver friends are suckin and fuckin their bros on the DL it's tragically not the case.

I feel like maybe?? carlando as a ship developed into part of the fans going larries level of problematic is because the Lando they watched with Carlos was so young and literally formed a lot of his F1 persona around Carlos. that version of Lando is basically a handy self-insert for fans worshiping Carlos.

as we know Carlos does NOT view himself as the number 2 driver even when he in every technical sense is. so it speaks to just how much of a little uncooked chicken nugget Lando was during their season together that Carlos has never once viewed Lando as competition and even now sees him as a lil cub kind of like Max V does with Lando. they're happy Lando succeeds but he's not classed in with the guys they really get pissed off with or perceive as threatening.

Lando talked here about how he spent a lot of that first season in F1 anxious about his performance compared to Carlos and his own future in F1 and that he largely had to work to put on a smiley face for the cameras. I actually think that entire first half of the clip is a great example of how the carlando chemistry came from Carlos being someone who loves being silly and laughing a lot in his time off the track and how convenient that was for Lando to help hide how much he was going through privately. when the media decided that Lando is meant to be adorable and silly all the time, someone as easy to get along with as Carlos was perfect timing. did nothing for Lando's actual personal struggle behind the scenes but it kept up a solid boundary between Lando and the media. I can't find it now but there's that old interview of Carlos being dismayed at Lando one day being sullen and quiet even when Carlos tried to joke with him - he was half kidding but Lando looked a bit uncomfortable and said "yeah I don't know why I'm like that sometimes". then it just got joked off as Lando being a moody teenager (which Lando visibly didn't really like).

so like, this is what their relationship has always been! Carlos represents a place Lando can go to and not have his demons or his problems follow him. and for someone who has always been used to physical affection, Carlos' lack of boundaries has always been extremely welcome as an endorphins boost.

but let's be honest here that's exactly the same super physically comfortable chemistry Carlos had even with Max and now has with Charles. I know the charlos of it all is probably a whole other hornets nest but fact is that to Carlos, Charles is equally a grown man to him and they can do the whole european buddies jokey flirting thing without it being weird. not the same as with Lando…

I've got to point out that when you look at comments not from fangirls, carlando as a "ship" is seen by F1 fans as big brother and baby brother or even dad and son relationship. this video was recently posted again from the stream where Carlos very firmly shut down people asking him to kiss Lando. whereas he'll jokingly ask Charles for a kiss and call him "darling" while being pretend domestic together. it's pretty damn clear that Carlos will joke about the bromance with Lando to an extent but Lando is The Baby and a little brother. Carlos wants to take care of Lando and he does not view him as a contemporary the way he does with Charles.

and considering Lando still suffers from the same anxieties and getting stuck in his own head, I've said before how I love that hanging with Carlos can still clear those cobwebs away. they can golf or just chat about any old bullshit and Lando can escape whatever is hanging over him for a while.

I truly do not know why people find that very real relationship insufficiently sweet and amazing and think that imagining them to be secret boyfriends is so much better ?? I mean absolutely rpf it the way I do for fun! but how bad does someone's gaydar have to be to think Carlos would have a single clue what to do with a penis that's not his own lfhajhfsa. American fans need to spend some time watching European friend groups and realize the insecure nohomo thing does NOT exist outside the US.

idk how many girlfriends have to get harassed or how far the media will push it before Lando or Carlos actually get sick of the whole ship thing but I think I speak for all rational carlando fans when I say that it's well past time to throw this whole conspiracy theory away. folks need to enjoy their friendship and ship them how you want for fun but don't push this thing to the point of even more discomfort. or worse make them change their behavior to get the focus off of them.

especially when you come to the landoscar of it all and deciding that it's a battle of the rpf ships. we've all seen those delusions in other fandoms result in baffling amount of hate that cross over into real life and how ugly it gets. carlando comments are already pretty out of control on Lando content that doesn't even remotely involve Carlos and it's bleeding onto McLaren content that involves Oscar.

I guess if I really make a few leaps in lofic then I can maaaaybe kind of see ? where that insecurity is coming from with those shippers. I do not understand it but if I had to guess it's possibly that we're seeing a totally different side of Lando than usual since he's been teammates with Oscar. and that for once, Lando's growth isn't dictated or based on his teammate being a big PR personality.

professionally he has said many times he's been pushed by Oscar into his own best F1 season yet. he's also matured a huge amount when it comes to his own failures and we've never heard him be so grown up and balanced as when he talks about how happy he is for Oscar and McLaren that Oscar got the sprint win before he did. that the "hurt" he feels over it is entirely because he is angry at himself for making mistakes. him doing the season farewell video and being able to ruefully joke but be genuinely proud of Oscar is so different from little Lando slumped and barely clapping during Carlos' departing speech or Lando looking out of it and a bit annoyed when Daniel would still try to do jokes after a particularly brutal result. Lando is behaving on his own terms in his own team now. he's The Guy.

Lando's grown UP. we're seeing a very finished article in him. and it's not because he's reacting to who Oscar is it's because Oscar's just letting him be. he's seen Oscar choose not to fake it or play up for the media and realized 'oh! I can be upset or depressed if I feel like it and not dance like a puppet when people want me to be fun and silly!'. he saw Oscar's urgency to prove himself after finally getting a seat and Lando realized that Oscar was just assuming that Lando would default be the superior! he saw Oscar backing away or leaving room for Lando to be the fan favorite and Lando's natural instinct was actually to let himself be quieter and take up only as much space as he wanted to! he's spent the whole season being asked to be an F1 global representative all on his own with no bromance attached and Oscar is there back at the garage or the McLaren motor home smiling and congratulating him like always!

in short, Lando suddenly has room and space to be whatever he chooses and Oscar has been open to any and all of it. they became immediate competition for each other without needing to hastily construct a friendship or bromance to negotiate it. Oscar shrugs off his own disappointments and doesn't gloat or overdo his achievements and oh! isn't it nice that he isn't expecting anything from Lando except respect! Lando doesn't have to navigate anyone else!

that's why I refer to them as sort of I guess a plantonic crush? I did this equally huge and weird post about this here. Oscar has admired Lando for a long time and Lando has absolutely loved having a teammate who doesn't view him as a baby or a kid brother. Lando is so intrigued by how calm and solid and strong Oscar is and Oscar still cannot quite believe Lando is right there in his life and as his teammate. the little cautious dance they're doing is absolutely precious but also because it's so intensely earnest. they both have such big long term plans for themselves and they are so happy to be working on those together that they aren't doing the whole let's find a schtick or do a bromance thing. if it takes them a long time to settle what their relationship is then so what!

and I guess for people who want to think that Carlos and Lando's friendship is 'superior' to every other relationship in their lives (as if Max F will ever be dethroned in Lando's life) it's got to take the already unstable mindset and upset it even more to see Lando personally growing into someone they don't really recognize and at least in some part because of Oscar.

because the carlando shipping that I see from these more extreme people (and I fully acknowledge they're a loud minority) basically eradicates Lando's agency and identity outside of finding Carlos hilarious or hot. they misinterpret Carlos being the authoritative role into Carlos being fully in control of carlando and Lando basically dancing to his tune and reacting to him. they never post the serious, slightly darker side of Lando because it's typically not associated with Carlos. unless it's Lando missing Carlos or upset that Carlos isn't around lol.

so I can only imagine that Oscar's arrival coinciding with a more mature and focused Lando who allows himself to want to be taken seriously and no longer spends all of his on-camera time screeching with laughter or flailing around is ummm not to the taste of those people. Lando still has screeching fits sometimes but he's overall a much calmer person and it's nice to know that when he laughs with Oscar it's always genuine since Oscar has no idea how to play up for laughs. it's probably why Those Fans are now aggressively posting Lando and Carlos doing the driver's parade together (again, among all the other paired off drivers lol) with "ALWAYS TOGETHER" AND "ALWAYS COMING BACK TO EACH OTHER" as if fate is trying to stop carlando from being the only thing that matters. because I guess in their minds, Lando can't just be believed when he says that Carlos is an F1 buddy the way other guys have F1 buddies and Lando can't grow up and have a personal best year without Singapore being solely about carlando and how Carlos took care of him (fuck off???? Lando would've gotten P2 or P3 anyway bc he had an excellent race??) and Lando won't be heard when he says actually Silverstone was his favorite race not Singapore because Carlos Carlos Carlos.

of course Lando can't have found a new kind of friend and teammate in a guy like Oscar who is wholly unlike Carlos in every single way imaginable because that would mean there are parts of Lando that don't suit Carlos and carlando. it would also imply that Oscar is a better teammate for Lando than Carlos was (which is true) and that oh no if Lando is no longer pining for Carlos to be his teammate again (he isn't and he said so) then that means Lando exists outside of carlando and that means they're gonna have to pile extra hard onto proving every single instance where carlando is still one of the most important things in Lando's life (it isn't and that wouldn't be healthy). it would also imply that purely platonic friendship between Carlos and Lando is basically pointless no no they've got to be fucking and in romantic love that's what makes them special not just the fact that they love being in each other's company and have full and happy lives outside each other.

I just.

reaalllly hope it all calms down soon and they leave Oscar out of this mess.

and thank FUCK Oscar's gf Lily has been fully accepted by landoscar fans from the start because the amount of vile hate and petty exclusion Rebecca is receiving makes it honestly a little bit hard for me to be ra ra carlando even just for fun right now.

will it stop me being carlando trash in the tags? no. but my conscience is cringing a bit.

[remembertheplunge]

Completion

(The following is taken from my 11/26/1997 journal entry:)

Cool, rainy: just drove the Ford up from Atwater—rattle, trap, BANG!

12:20am 11/26/1997 Wednesday

A time for contemplation

A time for hunkering in

I should be working, but, I just had to write. 

I just had to do some more work with the concept of completion.

Oh, to be alone in a room with soft white light and the diary (from Anais Nin tape—on her survival of external and internal  demons—she found peace.)

The following is from the book "Zen and Work" p. 477:

“This is true so long as the individual actually experiences completion. In order to be able to tap into the wellspring of energy that completion brings, we must know when something is complete—when it is time to let it go.” (written into my journal entry)

My journal entry continued: 

The trip to completion involves companions of persistence, and purpose, patience and pause crossed by reflection. Completion comes silently on little cat’s feet. It comes disguised as Monday Morning 8:20am, snuggling in San Fransisco, —soft. While they in warrior garb of suit and dress and stress pound the courts with bats and balls of lives and spirits and souls. Dizzy in their eternal gray dance—rising up to naught. Caught in the grimace of “of course”. Largely dead in life.

I suppose if there was any one good thing about being fired, it was being given the gift of possibility of completion of the Public Defender experience.

Getting fired, and all of her attendant friends and courtiers: rejection, self doubt, exile, (Her shadows, but still, of her).

Though her tendrils may flail out through the years, like those of a poisonous jellyfish, still, in her passing, comes a sense of completion..

End of entry

Notes. 7/18/2024

My dad owned a golden brown 1967 Ford XL convertible. I think that he bought it in the early 1970’s. It is the car I drove up to Modesto where I lived from Atwater and my parents house in the above entry. It was one of the first cars to have quad speakers (two in the front seat area, 2 in the back seat area) and an 8 track tape player. Whenever I hear the Tijuana Brass, I think of the family driving along in that car with “The Lonely Bull” playing.

I now know that there is no such thing as completion. Instead of long tendrils of an experience reaching out into the future, the original experience just morphs and evolves into the experience of today. It is all part of one experience. 

But, you can pause, stop, look back and consider what the original event meant. You can study it's details. You can wonder how it enhances the "Now".

I was fired from the Public Defender's office in Modesto, California in 1997. In the above journal entryI was writing at my new gay partner Jim's house in San Fransisco. Since court would be starting at 8:30 am back home, writing that I was snuggling in at 8:20am was significant. I was safe and warm at Jim's and not in court in Modesto. The last 4 years before being fired from the office were bleak. I was being pursued and hounded for being an out, gay man.

Anais Nin was a well known diarist and author.

[aeroargonic]

Hi! Do you have any HCs for Kai/Tox/Shade/Skylor group? They've been living rent free in my head for some time now

Yesssss, the propaganda is working!

They steal each other's clothes a lot. Shade and Skylor only have about an inch between them in terms of height differences, so they swap outfits. Kai is the tallest, so his hoodies are constantly being stolen. (I think I have a drawing somewhere of Tox wearing Kai's hoodie; remind me to dig it out later.)

In order of spice tolerance from worst to best: Shade, Skylor, Kai, and Tox. Note that there is a HUGE gap between Kai's spice tolerance and Tox's spice tolerance. She has been known to slip chili oil in her partners' food as a prank on occasion.

The other three help Skylor out at the Noodle House a lot. Maybe in an AU, Kai retires from being a ninja and works there full-time?

They have a very specific sleeping order: Kai is always in the middle, Shade on his left, Skylor on his right, and Tox on top of whoever she deems her personal pillow at the moment.

The four of them sleeping together is great because Skylor steals pillows without realizing it, Tox kicks around a ton, and Shade accidentally has hit Kai a few times when moving around in his sleep. Poor Kai.

They definitely go on dates as a quad, but sometimes they occasionally split up into pairs, or go on dates as a trio so the fourth can have some alone time. This was crucial at the beginning of their relationship for everyone to get to know each other, especially Kai and Tox.

Tox is somehow the only sane man in the group. She has a thing for gay disasters I guess.

Kai cannot flirt with any of them for shit. Tox and Skylor love kissing him at once to rile him up.

They all have a ton of pet names for each other. Tox is usually called "Tox" or "Toxi", but when they bust out the "Toxikitia" she knows she's fucked.