#this is a symptom of loving someone
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#yknow that powm#i love the way men love#every time i see it i am filled with the urge to smack someone with a newspaper#stop it!!?#you have to tell people you love them#you have to tell them why you do these things#just buying the bread they like every week isnt enough on its own#you have to also TELL THEM#these little acts of dedication are a lovely part of a relationship#any relationship#but don't think this daily dedication is anything but worship unless you actually speak up and let them know#this is how you grind yourself to dust#buy the bread! know about planes! do all of it but for the love of god also tell them and show love in other ways#or youll end up weird and bitter and lonley because no one will ever know#and people who love men! this is something that happens long term! please dont spend your life looking for these signs in people#because they need to show it another way too#or youll be stuck trying to read semaphore in the dark for the rest of your life#this is a symptom of loving someone#but it isnt the whole thing
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here is your reminder that all trauma is valid.
trauma is to do with how our brains process (or don't process) memories and experiences and that if something is traumatic for you then that is trauma.
it doesn't matter if you or someone else thinks it should be significant or not or if someone else went through the same thing and wasn't impacted by it. what matters is if it's significant to you and how it impacted you.
a huge part of recovering from trauma is allowing yourself to accept that you had it in the first place.
#I've been seeing a trauma informed therapist and its very enlightening#i spent so long denying that i had any form of trauma despite having all the symptoms because I've never experienced anything *that bad*#but it doesn't have to be one thing even. it can be a lot of little things that build up.#it doesn't matter if someone else went through the same thing and wasn't impacted by it. you where.#adhd#trauma#recovery#love letters to you
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the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous
#yes even the ''progressive'' types always love to imply that literal symptoms of disability#means someone is lazy or that its a moral failing or that they should simply just stop#and the sheer NUMBER of autistic people shitting on other autistic people with higher support needs than them#or who ''act'' more autistic or just have more unpalatable inconvenient or annoying symptoms than them#that cannot be treated like just a quirky trait that makes them more interesting or cute or whatever#i think i wrote like. 2 posts on that where its more coherent than here idk#''this is the autism website'' no. i don't think i feel very welcome here.#mine#yomipost#ableism#actually autistic#i guess other people can add on if they want cause im not gonna be able to articulate much else than that
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sonic is NOT dumb or stupid or a dingus just because he's impulsive. stop calling him an idiot
#like i get. i love to call him a dumbass and how theres not a thought in his head#but ive seen people say he has a character is an idiot. people can mess up and do stupid stuff without it being their whole character#people know that right#also not to be like whatever however it's interesting to me how youll see someone display symptoms of adhd#and call them stupid for it#ughhhh delete later maybe i jist woke up and im in a bad mood#egg.txt
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CAN'T THINK, NEED DRINK
WRONG KIND OF THIRST.
#fnaf#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#fnaf daycare attendant#weepart#cw eyestrain#<- just in case? better 2be safe :-} anyways i promise tht other moon drawing i talked abt in the tags of my voc/aloid sun drwing WILL#be drawn soon!!!! i am dealing with symptoms.#BUT OMG. plz. someone. delirium tremendous felix hagan and the family is SO MOON. ITS SO MOON. SMOEONE HEAR ME OUT HERE PLZ.#drew this sorta with the thought of like. what if the virus progressed to a point where in the dcas headspace when moon was in control.. su#was harder to see harder to hear harder to sense. and like recalled memories that moon had would have like. 'pinked out' silhouettes and .#smtimes hed see sun's silhouette 2 even though they share a body (suns only way of trying to communicate/break through 2 moon at this stage#agh. they make me sick. i love them. also plz dont tag as ship ? it just makes me uncomfy is all. ok ty bye :P
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hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl
Yeah no based true real no questions asked
I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)
But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)
#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely-#-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't-#-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me.#my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're-#-absolutely worth everything#i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think--#is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok#and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am#i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/#but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/#listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts)#but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance-#-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd#love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides#you should never sacrifice your well being of course!#but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people.#tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso.#ask#asks#ask fern#tntduo#dsmp#tnt duo#wilbur soot#quackity#quackbur#dream smp#tntblr#c!quackbur#c!tntduo
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People need to start understanding the difference between actually harmful or "bad rep" vs just rough around the edges but still complex and nuanced rep that doesn't quite line up with your own personal experiences or the over-sanitized ideal of what you think "good rep" should be
#just saw someone in their headcanon post say they know it would be bad rep if this certain character actually had this disorder#but that's just it! it really wouldn't! if anything it'd be a really realistic portrayal of the effects without making it a big deal#or villainizing the disorder itself#like yes this particular character has done bad things but never was it implied to be because of those symptoms#he's a very detailed and complex character beyond that and etc etc.#same show gets a lot of bad rap for supposed “bad rep” that i've seen more people connect and relate to and fall in love with more than any#other cause it's not sanitized it's allowed to be messy + real + reflect experiences people usually never get to see authentically portraye#and sometimes that means it's gonna be rough#but anyway#like it's the difference between purposefully perpetuating a dangerous stereotype#vs wanting every “diverse” character to be a perfect cookoe cutter angel who can do no wrong and never gets deeper than a kiddie pool#books#movies#media#tv shows#media literacy
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so i read the darkness outside us
#the darkness outside us#ambrose cusk#lance mcclain#my brain has worms and those worms get real excited whenever whenever the lance voltron archetype shows up in scifi media#an unfortunate symptom of being a fifteen y/o klance maniac#this is a compliment because lance is kinda one of my top ten characters of all time#love you ambrose <3#sorry for the brainworms. i love this fucking book#also i am reading the sequel as we speak. someone please talk to me about these books they make me sick and ill
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#dragon age#dragon age poll#dragon age polls#poll#dragon age origins#ok now I have no opinion either way on whether Alistair is lactose intolerant#but I want to get in before people say his love of cheese means he can’t be lactose intolerant#as someone who has studied biochemistry I can tell you that cheese has almost negligible lactose#most of it gets broken down in the cheese-making process#and even people who have absolutely no ability to digest lactose can consume about 250mL of cow milk a day before getting serious symptoms#bc it’s not an allergy it’s just that your stomach can’t digest it so the bacteria in your bowel do it for you#and they produce a lot of gas in the process which causes the symptoms#BASICALLY someone who’s completely lactose intolerant can eat so so much cheese before getting serious symptoms#sorry to be a nerd about it but as you can imagine there are very few opportunities day-to-day to talk about biochemistry
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One of my favorite parts of COF that I find is commonly overlooked is the fact that it doesn't sanitized itself for a broader audience, it comes in with a message, with a story to tell that's hard to swallow with characters that are realistic and heartbreaking, and it doesn't apologize for this once.
Something interesting that occurred to me was how people who have never experienced severe mental health struggles view COF- the specific instance I'm thinking of is when I was explaining the plot to my mom, and had explained the different endings to her and how to get those endings, and what each one seemed to imply both for Simon and his relationship with those in his life, and her takeaway from the conversation was- "I don't like that the mentally ill main character becomes a killer. I don't like that he's the bad guy"
And this was interesting to me because, that's kind of the whole reason why I started to love Simon in the first place.
So infrequently are we shown mentally ill characters who do bad things yet still deserve redemption. Who still deserve to be treated as a person, because they are one. In a world that is becoming largely comfortable with the idea "bad person = deserves to die" it was insanely refreshing to see a character like Simon, who we see hurt people, who we see become obsessed and stalkerish and violent, gain redemption through healing. Through therapy and community and the belief from others that he will get better. That he isn't a lost cause.
In ending 2, one of the darker endings of the experience, we learn that Simon is alone. That his friends and family have all left him. That he's been abandoned due to his disability and general mental health struggles, and this was devastating to me. Upsetting to a degree that had me thinking about it for days afterward. Not helped by Simon's plea to Dr. Purnell to not feel bad because "not everyone can be saved". The way Simon views himself is much too similar to my own view of myself as someone who has struggled with similar issues.
As someone who was led down a path of harm due to untreated issues and still struggles with believing I "deserve" redemption.
Because I do, and so does he.
And it's always so upsetting seeing so many people who view victims as one note stories. As people who just cry sometimes and have trouble talking to people or get sad every once in awhile. Mental health is messy and hard to live with and life ruining at times, and this stripping of it's nuance is so frustrating to see happen over and over and over again.
Victims are not your savior story. They are not cookie cutter helpless children that need to be protected. Abuse and severe struggles do not make you stronger, they do not make you better, they do not magically make you more empathetic or loving and I'm fucking tired of that narrative. I'm tired of being talked over by people who've never experienced it or other victims who think they're the "good" ones because, well, they never did that which means anyone who did is horrible. I'm tired of stories of illness being sanitized for other people's comfort.
Victims can become perpetrators, that does not take away from their victim status. That does not change the fact that they still deserve help. That does not take away from their personhood. They are a human being that needs help, not a death sentence. Should they take accountability? Of fucking course. Does their trauma absolve them of wrongdoing? No. But I'm tired of people acting like cycles don't exist, like the second you act out on your trauma you're past saving.
Simon's story is perfect the way it is. A story of redemption and acceptance, of learning to live and grow and learn from past mistakes and find a way to live peacefully. To take responsibility and attempt to rekindle the relationships you lost, the ones you hurt.
Ending 4 and his admittance to the hospital, as well as his continued friendship with Sophie but acceptance of his loss of a romantic one, is heart breakingly bittersweet in a way that is hard for me to describe. Him getting better but living with what he's done, growing from it and learning to live anyways.
Another part of this is that, in his happy ending, in the ending where he does get better; he doesn't do it alone. Largely, the narrative of community is lost in these stories, how helpful a support system can be. Simon gets better because he has people there for him, because he has Purnell and Sophie and his mom looking out for him. He has his doctors and the staff at the hospital and people who know he can get better, that he's still a person deserving and capable of good.
People need people, and this seems an obvious note to me in the story of COF. Simon needs people. He needed people the entire time. Someone, anyone, to listen to him and give him the hand he needed.
And it's so refreshing to see a character like Simon still be loved and cared about and helped even when he was "the bad guy". Let mental ill characters be realistic. I'm begging you.
#cry of fear#simon henriksson#this is also an issue in the stardew valley community with shane#no i do not want to fix him- mentally ill people do not need to be fixed they need to be helped#god forbid a show or game or movie have a character with realistic symptoms that make you uncomfortable#how fucking COULD they#im not saying that COF is the best portrayal of mental health ever- god no- but it's the closest ive ever felt to being represented#to feeling seen through someone else's work that isn't my own blood stained writing#i love simon because i can relate to him because i have been in his shoes and because having a character that i can heal with is fcking nic#anyways#sorry for rambling#yes i saw a tiktok about mental health that pissed me off how could you tell
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someone with a cold being at work all day and their symptoms have been simply a stuffy nose and an annoying amount of sneezing - so they think it's not too bad, until they get home and it feels like they've been hit by a freight train full of fever, headache, and fatigue all in one go
#i just love when. all someone's “hidden” symptoms come crashing down on them as soon as they take a moment's break#even better if it happens in the middle of the work day#so then theyre forced to take the rest of the day off cause they cant possibly carry on like this#rahhhh anyway#k talks snz#snz#snzblr#snz kink#snzario#snz blog#sneeze kink
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Maya Tendou you are INFURIATING!!!!!
#revue starlight#revstar#mayakuro#kuromaya#claudine saijou#maya tendou#maya tendo#sketchbook#// please don’t tag as kin unless you’re me or my gf!!#kuromaya makes me INSANNEEEEEE#It’s Claudine being like. huh. maya tendo huh?? tch. I’ll pass her in no time#<- succumbs to the curse: falling hopelessly in love#for me#Claudine gives me the vibes of someone who would be so mad abt it when she realizes it . get OUT of my academy#maya meanwhile is like wow hi Claudine :) <- clueless but showing symptoms of the illness#(lesbianism)#TRUST ME. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE
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not feeling very whimsyful today guys kind of wishing that I could exist with a life changing disorder without also bearing the brunt of people who for some reason have decided it is their job to try and hurt me and my friends because they don’t like the way my disorder manifests
#I don’t often make posts like this anymore for various reasons but today I just . need to get it out there#ask to tag#I just . holy shit. I’m already trying to cope with the symptoms of the disorder and people decide they’d like to make things more difficult#out of anyone you could have bullied you chose to bully someone who’s permanently dealing with identity confusion and dissociation#caused by fucking childhood trauma mind you#Im just Tired#I just want to have fun and tell my friends I love them and make things I like#but instead I have to read peoples attempts to belittle and harass my headmates because they won’t even try to understand#rant#vent#ableism#<- for people who have these filtered
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someone said amen livius hours??
#the way i've been thinking about this since s2e9 dropped#incoherent babbling ahead sorry#just needed 2 get this on something before i spew out some more modern!sotcn!!#when ur words say one thing but ur actions say another....#livi was Scathing with his words in this interaction#regardless — livius tends to him still. takes his time.#it's also confirmed that he has special ointments made for amen's sensitive skin.#(theres also a point here to be made about loving someone to the point of invention but i digress)#and amen — who is usually prickly finds himself compliant to livius' instruction. to his touch.#but it's only because he doesn't want his injuries to get worse right!!! these shesmu weren't going to hunt themselves!!#(his jaw tightens when he feels the pad of livius' finger brush his shoulder)#he doesn't like to think about how his harboured animosity may be a symptom of other feelings....#he grumbles at livius' tone but he'd be lying if he weren't amused by his attitude#reminds him of someone...... maybe he has a type#could talk more but i'm so Sleepy this is all u get now
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