#this is a really interesting rabbit hole to go down
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i keep getting cool thesis ideas for either subjects i cannot technically write a thesis on or on things i am not sure i want to be my final masters thesis ugh
#the thing is i would love to work again on the history of the persecution of witchcraft in europe#that is a subject i know quite well and i know i can power through so much stuff on that subject bc it really interests me#but also i just got a thesis idea that could be cool about the stuff i am currently studying for a class and uuuuugh#i think i'd be quite challenging but with the right sources and a lot of work it could be a very cool thesis#can i just get a pass to study for the rest of my life so that i can research study and write about a bunch of different things#i am regretting my bachelor thesis bc i should have kept that particular subject for my masters#i am going down a rabbit hole so i'll stop#studyblr#academia#uniblr#cris speaks
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[입덕직캠] 캣츠아이 소피아 직캠 4K 'Touch' (KATSEYE Sophia FanCam) | @MCOUNTDOWN_2024...
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A friend sent me this and now I'm kinda mesmerized. lol Besides her beauty, I'm quite fascinated by her facial expressions; and her smile makes me happy for some reason. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#I also really like how her outfit suits her#I'm sure everyone's beautiful in her group#but I'm just not interested in going down the rabbit hole and become a stan lol#wish them the best but I'm content with this one video#frugalkubabble#random video share#Youtube
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i did it u_u
#actually rather pleased with my Bronze Age abstract#Advisor is going to demolish the Other one but that's okay because I at least did something so I got the practice and I can sleep now.#It's kind of funny I was writing the Bronze Age one and I can already feel the struggle of compressing a dissertation's worth#of information into 15 minutes. Like ffs I'm supposed to speedrun oil as an extraction reductant and also talk about Egypt's alum trade?#But this is My Fault. I have done this to myself.#Okay but I'm already bubbling with excitement to talk about Leather Tanning again. Nobody was here when I went on this massive#5 hour long rabbit hole of leather tanning research because... I think I was trying to find out if you could use mushroom collagen#to replicate leather? (The answer is yes.) But it took me down this road of Leather tanning because I was trying to understand the#ion exchange that makes it supple and TLDR there's this massive exploitative industry in the Middle East and Southeast Asia that uses#Cobalt salts because the Co 3+ sits really nicely in the collagen site and you can quickly dye and destroy most of the organics from the#animal itself; but because of that you've also destroyed the texture of the leather. I forget why Al 3+ isn't used. I think it's because it#weathers over time and the leather becomes stiff and hard again. Same with Fe3+. ANYWAY. Try and find thick leather when you#do buy leather because leather IS great and I will die(dye) on this hill. But it's the exploitative textile industry that causes problems.#Honestly I've forgotten 90% of the chemistry but it's so fucking cool and a really interesting peek into an organic affected by inorganics#rather than affecting an inorganic mineral with organics. UGH I love chemistry so much. It's so fucking cool.#ptxt#christ this might be my worst tag essay lol
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What’s the significance of each color in Ancient Greece? So green is the only neutral color and it represents mostly natural and earthy things, thank you for telling me that part !! Anyway, as for my Hyacinthus design’s hair being brown, it’s due to the combination of it being a fairly common interpretation of his appearance and also because I find I like how it looks with his skin tone and the purple of his eyes.
Okay, firstly; thank you so much for answering my question too!
Admittedly you can't beat out good, old fashioned colour theory so that's completely fair haha! I still think it's very interesting that brown became the common interpretation of his features so I'm always glad to hear other people's view on it <3
With respect to what colours meant or symbolised in Ancient Greece, it's a super fascinating topic because the Ancient Greeks had a very different perception of colour than how a lot of people - and in this case I'll generalise and say english-speaking people - perceive colour. In a lot of languages, especially older ones, colour wasn't just a way to describe the physical perceptional reality of an observable object (that is, the light reflecting off the object that gives it its perceived hue - the way we perceive colour now) but colour was also used to describe the way in which the people experienced the world. A really good way to think about it is now, if you wanted to distinguish between two types of blue, you would instinctively make a distinction between their shades ("This blue is darker/lighter!") whereas these older people would distinguish based on things in their present, shared world that best matched what they were being asked to describe ("This blue is like the sky/the sea!")
That's an important concept to keep in mind because ancient greek was very unique in that, in addition to this concept of colour being completely intertwined with physical objects (and therefore also acquiring the properties of these objects in the minds of the people), the ancient greeks also did not particularly care about distinguishing between different colour hues (that is, differences in specific individual colour) but rather they were entirely focused on a colour's value - that is, whether it was considered light or dark.
Taking all of this into consideration, the question 'what is the significance of the different colours in Ancient Greece' is a bit of a tricky one to answer because unlike say, Ancient Egyptian which has very clear colours (red, white, green), very clear physical objects that give those colours their property (the desert sand, the sun, people's skin) and very clear symbolic meanings that arose from the natures ascribed to those physical objects due to their influence on the people's lives (hostility, power, new life), Ancient Greece's colours and the perception of those colours was much more abstract and poetic, contingent on their understandings and perceptions of things like light and dark, the sense of touch or taste (sweet and bitter/wet and dry) and what quality was ascribed to the object whose colour is being perceived. Colour was a matter of cosmology, of philosophy and there were many different schools of thought on it from Empedocles' physicalist theories to Anaxagoras' realist theories.
All of this is to say, take the meanings I outlined in this handy-dandy table with a tablespoon of salt! These are based on my understanding of the language used to describe things in classical writings that have survived and my own bias towards Empedocles' physicalist theory of colour and the nature of colour which I also think is very useful for people into greek mythology as a whole due to it making clear links between various gods creating things from mixtures of the four basic elements of nature and the colours that are the result of these mixtures.
I hope this helps even a little and I very much encourage you to do some research into different Greek schools of thought when it comes to colour and the perception of colour as well as how colour affects/reflects the innate nature of all things!
(Also, slight extra note, I left out Kokkinos (scarlet/blood-red) from the table because I didn't really think it was relevant for this outline despite it definitely being an ancient colour. It's a bit difficult to find examples of it with the kind of descriptors Empedocles outlines and I don't want to make assumptions based on third hand knowledge on the greek concept of the nature of things. I'd like to believe it was addressed in more detail in Empedocles' original document - only a fragment of the original some two thousand lines have survived after all - it is confirmed that Empedocles spoke on the recipe for blood and flesh, an equal mixture of all four elements as opposed to bones' four parts fire, two parts earth and two parts water (which is why bones shine white, there's more fire than earth or water) - and I don't want to conject or make assumptions.
I also left out Erythros or basic/primary red according to Plato's list of basic colours because that seemed to have specifically been preferred by Egyptian Greeks according to linguistic data. If I opened up that can of worms with respect to the shared Egyptian-Greek colour language including the way the Greeks like many early peoples did not culturally perceive blue until the invention of Egypt's blue dyes then I would be writing forever and you would never get an actual clear answer about Greek colour symbolism separate and apart from Egyptian cultural influence lmfao. )
A few of the documents that helped me consolidate this information include Sassi's 2022 Philosophical Theories of Colour in Ancient Greek Thought and Ierodiakonou's Empedocles on Colour and Colour Vision. There are also a fair few translations and discussions of the fragments of Empedocles' On Nature still floating about - my copy is a somewhat archaic volume of Leonard's 1908 translation but I never went out searching for updated interpretations and translations of the text since its constantly referenced in perceptional philosophy papers LOL
Anyway, yeah, hope this helps! :D
#ginger rambles#ginger answers asks#I don't know if this is what you wanted but I really really hope it helps!!#I wish I was able to find a way to actually have the table in this response but I'm just not good with stuff like that so I just decided#to link it instead; hopefully that's not too troublesome#There's a LOT to talk about when it comes to the greeks and their perception of colour#The discussion of colour and how languages evolved to accommodate them is also a very fascinating thing#Yes I am a historical linguist how did you know#Both kyanos and porphyrous are really fun because you can tell they were adopted later#because they come from the names for gemstones that were already in circulation and trading as opposed to words unattached to an observable#tangible feature in the world#Like pyrros is named after fire vs kokkinos which is named after the holly seeds#that were grinded up to make red dye that they used for their clothing#which is another reason I chose to use pyrros over kokkinos on the table#Seriously though#This stuff is mad interesting I highly suggest you take a day and just go down the rabbit hole a bit#Even small things like this can help massive recontextualise the often distant and detached way modern audiences are prone#to treating mythologies from the cultures that they were deeply ingrained in#greek mythology#linguistics#I guess LMFAO#Cosmology#Extra secret fun fact#My Hyacinthus is a realist aka he doesn't believe in all this four elements stuff#He quicker subscribes to the realist school of thought made apparent by sticks in the mud like Anaxagoras and Parmenides#ginger chats about greek myths
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Nothing wrong with me
#behold: the sowed seeds of my upped vitamin d dose#just would like to say that part of this is sponsored by a couple of very kind inboxers who reached out and said that they DID want to know#more about lady terror and which really helped reinvigor my motivations#and I WILL be answering those asks soon enough#(harder to do until I have my laptop back. like I’m sorry y’all I literally wish I knew what I was on in 2019 when I was writing all my#joker headcanon fics on my phone but I cannot replicate that and I dare not even try#)… but regardless it will happen#but also yeah so this is a 6 page chapter summary for the fic and I’ve just started on chapter 2 and this will help a lot when#I get my computer back I think I’ve cleared my head a lot about this fic while not having it#but anyway#yeah uh…#egg’s wip’s#moral of the story is telling people you wanna hear about their oc’s that they’ve been working on for a whole year works#also went down a classical music rabbit hole about it today if that’s of interest to anyone but… me#bc one of my students did a presentation on poe’s impact on music theory and danse macabre which incited me to get familliar with composers#and pieces that would have actively been known in the 1840’s and have wanted to do since that bit about schubert on crozier’s hand organ#got dropped in the scripts#I think they’re going to feud on classical music tastes#average beethoven and chopin stan vs schubert enjoyer FIGHT#(except the serenade. that song was actually written about lady terror I’ve decided)#also thinking about lady terror and poe bc he’s said himself music is the highest art. they are concert buddies for sure#I bet that mf liked beethoven. poe is a big bass guy if I’ve ever seen one#it’s the drama you see
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A non-comprehensive list of Duke Thomas stories! :) These are not in any order, feel free to start with what sounds most interesting<3
Batman: Endgame--okay, mostly not in order. This story has admittedly very little Duke Thomas in it, but serves both as his reintroduction and as setup for his coming appearances(it is astoundingly easy to follow what comes next without this story, however, I skipped it when first reading WAR) if you are looking to read it, it's contained in issues #35-40 of Batman vol 2 if I recall correctly
We Are Robin--here we start in on the good stuff! This story is dark. It's bleak. Duke is dark, and bleak, and cynical. He's also quippy. And the entire series is about hope. Batman is gone. The heroes in general are gone. This is the aftermath of Joker wreaking havoc on everything and everyone, and it feels like no one's doing a damn thing. No except the mysterious Nest, and the Robins he's recruited. Truly one of my favorite comic series. Ever.
Batman and the Signal--if you can find the collected edition at the library or the secondhand shop, you should not skip it. Truly, a fun read. Duke tells Batman he "is the shit" and immediately regrets it. Daytime shift. The Hatch. Izzy and Riko. Jay. Just so much. Great times, what's not to love?
All-Star Batman--this has some overlap with the collected edition of BATS. You could totally just read the three issues of BATS and then All-Star Batman separately. The choice is yours. However, the meat of this series that is truly worth highlighting--bat and signal fucked up road trip! Compellingly complex and such a nuisance Harvey Dent! Duke plays flight tunes! Wonderful!
Batman and the Outsiders--another fun series! Bumblebee Bats(Cass and Duke bonding!) Evolution of Duke's powers! Probably one of the weaker series overall on this list but still very fun and worth reading!
Batman Secret Files: The Signal--this one comes with a warning: if you read this you will be Very Upset. Just as the rest of us are. Because it sets up a storyline that is Not expanded upon. That they completely dropped. This issue came out and there was no follow up. Is it good?... mileage varies? Personally, there was some good ideas set up, and some frustrating ones, but truly the biggest problem is that none of the ideas set up matter, because there was no follow up.
Once again, these are all just stories with Duke that I know of off the top of my head! He's had quite the short history, made shorter by DCs chronic inability to decide what the hell to do with him, but there's plenty to be found if you're looking! Please feel free to add your favorites to the list as well<3
#duke thomas#void posts#the signal#listen sometimes i can be nice about it okay#there's plenty of great duke stories that are not difficult to get your hands on i promise and you'll enjoy it#i know its hard to know where to start sometimes and the answer is: somewhere. anywhere. you could go down this list in a line#or you could eeny meeny miny moe it or you could pick which description sounds the most interesting#comics are confusing and order doesn't matter anywhere you start will still leave you confused#it'll still be fun and you'll get less confused the more you dive in and just read#and it's. REALLY easy to follow along with duke's story in all honesty. even without context you can follow what decision he's making and#the heart behind those decisions. he's a very real and understandable character#please fall down the rabbit hole and love him as i do<3
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nothing could've prepared me for watching 1983's possession with a mild fever on so much medication like im just so lost and so entranced and also she's hot and hes pathetic and they're ALL monsterfuckers if you think about it and hes real for killing Heinrich but also what the fuck is up with Heinrich and the way this is filmed and written is so interesting but also what. WHAT. W H A T.
#possession#80s horror#80s movies#horror movies#1983 possession#possession 1981#not sure why there are two release dates#im trying really hard to not go down the rabbit hole I have Virus#Isabelle Adjani#film#cinema#the dialogue is literally so fucking weird#but so interesting#im so absorbed
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okay so since i created vera and mateo does this mean that i should create beetee’s other great grandparents??? much to think about…
#dayne talks#beetee latier#literally the “how insane can i become about this random guy?” post#you know i fell down the rabbit hole of family trees once before and i am convinced once you go there you never go back#so for obv reasons vera and mateo are very interesting but i do feel like i should make at least something interesting happen with linus’#side of the family because he really is just some random french guy. like that’s it…#dayne’s beetee tag
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i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)
#just thinking about this wip again��……… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i#ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to#write ch1? :o#and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes.#just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and#all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit#nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed#o.o wild to think about…..#like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the#sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that#sort of thing.#not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i#also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc.#i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try#again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o#just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me.#suffaru post#saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH#my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET????#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH
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That post about the concept of deserving when it comes to ASOIAF makes me think of the arguments about Jaime deserving Brienne
i mean i obviously hold the same opinion on that whole conversation too. this is a fictional story where relationships serve a thematic purpose. i can understand doylist criticism of certain trends in grrm’s writing (like the age gaps), but i personally will never give a shit about what a character “deserves” because they are not real people. they are tools to tell a story. brienne being a good person doesn’t mean her romantic arc being with an ideal/perfect partner that “deserves her” or whatever would make an interesting fictional story. jb is extremely thematically central as a relationship when it comes to exploring gender, constructs of beauty and ugliness, the battle between cynicism vs idealism, and synthesis when it comes to interrogating knighthood and its deeper existential meanings in the context of the text. if you take out the uglier parts of it then that story is no longer there, or the story is not as strong. i like jb bc i think it is a very thematically functioning dynamic, that is also very interesting to follow in canon. and i like the dynamic at a surface level too. i am fine with ppl who do not like it or care for it, but this brand of criticism means nothing to me personally. if you want more ugly female characters to be given romantic arcs that is understandable, which would mean a diversification of relationship dynamics, but this is one example with a specific intent, and it excels at that in my eyes.
#ask#also i do not think the text is saying that love is something we have to deserve#if u go down that rabbit hole u can say ohh but jaime deserves better than cersei this character deserves better than this character#no one is worse than this character therefore they should remain unlovable#who cares#witholding love entirely is what leads to characters being consumed by darkness#its a big part of tyrion’s story#and ofc this is not about romantic love necessarily but thats often the implication of this whole comment#idk there r a lot of layers to this whole discussion that i find very interesting#i get the whole women shouldnt have to rehabilitate men trend like ofc but brienne doesnt really do anything but show an example#she doesnt fall in love with him until he reveals himself to be different#she doesnt desperately want to change him#she just hates him thru most of asos#he changes independently#and jaime doesnt want to court her either he doesnt even know what he feels bc he is stupid
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Research (derogatory) (affectionate)
#its really fun when youre interested in the subject but also when you want to know about the subject its so hard not to go down rabbit holes#'so how was music used in american anti-war movements during the vietnam war?'#two hours later#'barbara dane's album 'FTA!' is very cool but ive gotten nothing done 👍'#15 minutes later#'ive got a good 250 page book to skim through that is both a primary and secondary source. also it is 9pm. i have entered the time warp'
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anyone else get self-destructive when they are bored because at least feeling like shit is more engaging than feeling nothing?
#I'm trying very hard to stop myself from going down some very stupid rabbit holes on tumblr right now#but it is only kind of working#I am also stressed about finding an apartment and figuring out signing up for classes in the fall#which isn't helping#I was FINE this morning#I was thinking about my swtor character and her backstory and her old master#and it was great!!! I was having a good time!#but now I'm at work and can't focus and really just want someone to do like oc lore/rp for swtor with me#but again. I'm at work. and I don't know of anyone who would want that (unless you do jess)#(but I didn't think you were all that interested/enjoyed rp that much)#also. I would like to just dress up as a jedi and pretend to be one irl#and I can't do that#I should make a jedi cosplay honestly#do I get tik tok again just to see if there are people on there making jedi oc rp content#no. I shouldn't. but what if they are???????
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So, what Rakha really wants to do right now is go kill the people hunting Karlach, because they don't have anything else that would qualify as a direct plan other than the creche, and the "paladins" are closer. However, I happen to know that the paladins are level five and Rakha is level 2 and could be knocked over by a stiff breeze, so I think a better bet is a more full exploration of the Emerald Grove first.
I'm guessing that this is the result of a concerted effort on Wyll and Shadowheart's part, primarily - Wyll already knows the people of the grove and Shadowheart has fixated on Halsin as a useful lead. Gale doesn't seem to have any specific plan in mind and, left to their own devices, Lae'zel would already be heading for the creche and Rakha and Karlach would be after the paladins. But between them, Shadowheart and Wyll manage to convince everyone that at least TALKING to the healer in the grove would be a useful start before everyone goes off half-cocked.
Amused because I stopped in to talk to Zevlor and got a disapproval from Wyll purely for leaving the conversation without asking the question about whether the ritual could be stopped. XD Sorry, Wyll. I swear we'll get to a point where you like Rakha, somehow, but I doubt sincerely we're there yet.
Speaking of the ritual, down we go to the grove proper - with a quick stop to talk to the teeth-ling kids.
"Whoa. Hey! Can't say I've ever seen someone like you before."
Without preamble, he shows his hands to her, empty. Then a quick flick of the wrist, and suddenly he's holding out a tarnished gold ring between his fingers.
"Go on," he says cheerfully. "Take this ring. It's lucky."
Rakha, who has very little context for anything she experiences, has never seen slight-of-hand magic done before, nor is she familiar with the concept of a con man. So she watches this little display and is immediately fascinated. Magic - but with no surge of that visible tapestry around the boy, the network of power that Gale calls the Weave.
How?
"That was a fancy trick," she says slowly.
His eyes narrow and something subtle shifts in his expression, a flash of interest. "You haven't seen anything yet, lady," he says dryly. "Go on - take the ring and watch your fortune change!"
Take the ring.
She takes it and looks at it carefully. There is no magic on the ring either, nothing that she can sense. But the boy looks up at her earnestly as he draws a coin from his pocket. "Call it! Heads or tails."
She blinks at him, puzzled by the question.
Pocket the ring.
"Hey, hold on!" the boy cries at once. "You gotta pay for that!"
She does? She withdraws the ring out of her pocket again and squints at the boy, incredibly baffled by the entire situation.
("The boy seeks to deceive you," Lae'zel says impatiently under her breath. "His magic is mundanity. The ring likely the same."
Wyll sighs. "Be kind, the both of you. He wants to show you a trick, that's all. Let him flip the coin.")
Rakha's eyes narrow. She stands there with the ring sitting on her palm and feels foolish. "It's only a joke," she says slowly after a long silence and trying to sort through the words from her companions. "Go on... flip your coin." If anything, she is curious to learn what that means.
"Real sweet sense of humor you got there, chum." The boy looks as if he's starting to regret his choice of mark, but he presses on gamely. "Anyway, you gotta call before the flip. Heads or tails."
A long pause. "Heads?" Rakha says cautiously.
The boy grins, tosses the coin in the air, catches it, and then shows her the side with the head facing up. "Heads it is!" he crows. "See? That's the kinda luck you get from just one of my lucky rings! I've got more where that came from. Real cheap, too. Interested?"
Rakha is starting to understand the situation now that she has seen it play out, and her lips twitch with irritation. [SORCERER] "If there was magic in this ring, I'd have felt it," she says bluntly. "It's nothing but junk."
The boy flinches and raises his hands defensively. "Not so loud!" he hisses. "You caught me, all right? They're not lucky rings." His eyes grow wide, his expression twisting with sudden, exaggerated pathos. "I'm just... trying to earn money for my family," he whimpers. "My father left and my mother... she's so sick. I wish I had better things to sell than... trinkets, but it's all I have!"
Rakha squints. The shift in tone is abrupt enough that she is certain it's disingenuous and that Lae'zel is right - the boy is making a fool of her. There is nothing of value here.
Wordlessly she shoves the ring back in the boy's face.
Return the ring and leave.
#bjk plays bg3 durge#rakha the dark urge#ok so fundamentally this was not like#a scene with much of a point in rakha's case :P#did give me some thinky thinks though#one reason writing rakha is proving to be interesting is that by going real deep down the you-know-nothing rabbit hole#it often ends up a smidge comedic#and there's a challenging balance to be struck between this and not making her come across like an idiot#because i don't think she is!#she's quick - given information to work with she extrapolates lots of things out of a small amount#and makes rational decisions on how to act on that information#she just has zero context for anything#especially when the situation involves slang; it's kind of fun realizing that (for instance) if you didn't know what heads or tails meant#why would you be able to guess?#tldr using this scene that went nowhere as an excuse to write meta about my own character :P#i honestly really like rakha; she strikes me as someone who is perfectly decent (when the Urge isn't taking control at least)#but blunt and almost purely rationally-driven and needs to be met on her own terms#which so far the companions have been willing to do which is nice
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Having a real "*freeze frame**record scratch* oh hey it's me you might be wondering how I ended up here" kind of moment rn
#i left the house one (1) time for the entirety of wednesday through saturday#skipped two of my classes did not write the requisite discussion post for either and also didn't turn in the project abstract for one#completely disappeared off the radar for all of my social obligations#and instead went down an insane research/writing rabbit hole for The Blorbos#methinks something has to give. we cannot continue like this#and like when i say this i need you to understand that i spent perhaps 12-14 hours per day for four days#on this extremely sillygoofy writing tangent#what in hell is wrong with my brain but like actually#the most interesting part is that i feel completely fine like i mostly just needed to be let out to see sunlight and get exercise#but i feel like in the past this has caused/been a sign of major depressive episode#and i now really don't know how to explain it to anyone#like i mean it's literally 'yeah sorry i didn't come to [x] i was having a grand old time writing fanfic'#except i don't think that's an adequate description of my last four days. like i don't think that explains the degree of hyperfixation#i think i need an autism and/or adhd diagnosis but also i'm really not sure how that's going to help with anything#but idk it might (and i'm going to look into it anyway bc this can't continue as it is)#perce rambles
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I feel so insane for wanting to put cologne on my new merch hoodie to pretend that it's his. 🫠🫠🫠
#text post#I'm lost#I really am...#I'm not gonna do it because I'm going to 100% hate myself for doing it down the line#Like i just know it's an instant regret thing#But fuck i hate myself for even having the idea.. For wanting to do it#I'm wondering when i become too insane that i will have to force myself out of this rabbit hole#It'll happen eventually#But I'd much rather my interest faded out peacefully#With no regrets
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ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ꜱʏᴍʙᴏʟɪᴄ ꜰʀᴜɪᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ?
ᴘᴏᴍᴇɢʀᴀɴᴀᴛᴇ
The pomegranate is most famously attributed to the Greek goddess, Persephone. Though versions of the story differ: with some saying Persephone was tricked into eating pomegranate seeds to be trapped in the underworld, and some saying she willingly chose to eat the seeds.
Pomegranate's have a hard exterior that is tough to crack. Your hard shell is a natural protectant and keeps you safe from those that only wish to use you. Internally you are rich with bounties. You believe in living your life passionately and vibrantly. The idea of surrendering to a fate of being confined to anything, whether it be a relationship, a job, or family dynamic where you are not happy and lack agency is a terrifying prospect.
It is fears like this which also prevent you from opening up and showing vulnerability to those around you. However, like the pomegranate whose seeds sparkle like gemstones, you hide inside you incredible beauty that only the most worthy deserve to see.
ᴛᴀɢɢᴇᴅ ʙʏ: @hexsreality
ᴛᴀɢɢɪɴɢ: @halfvampirehalflycan @razeofwolves @masterwcrk @ithring @hollywoodsdevil @llosgcariad @parainvestigate @sookiestackhcuse
#;;dashboard games#—&;I’m what's left when children go to war;whos a heretic now(ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ)#this fits a lot better than i would have originally thought it would#especially with the whole how to open a pomegranate discourse on tiktok which is a fun rabbit hole to go down if you havea couple hours to#kill on random internet stuff to get totally sucked into for about 24 hours before you loose interest#you have to really work to earn her trust theres the easy way then the hard way#symbolically works well and orpheus and eurydices fits sonja and lucian in its own way#persephone being the queen of underworld (chaos) and of spring the dual nature fits some aspects of sonja#the princess/the politician and the independant warrior who lives for herself
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