#this is a fucking essay ignore me
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Oh good Neil Gaiman finally unfollowed me after all my bullshit I can be even more unhinged now
#It was really funny while it lasted#I think he followed me in 2018 and one day I summoned enough courage to ask him if he meant to follow me or did his son take his phone agai#He said he doesn't remember following me but then HE NEVER UNFOLLOWED after that#Can you imagine posting/reblogging everything thinking that Neil Gaiman is gonna see it. Every time I reblogged old men kissing#FOR FIVE YEARS#I'm finally free#I can post smut now -- (??#I was starting to get a little respect for him after I've done nothing but talk shit about him on my dash for a week and he didn't unfollow#Guess he finally read what I said about the season lolol#Again: I'm getting to my unanswered asks! I'm not ignoring you!#The next ask involves that one fucking 36 pages essay so...I'm still working through that......#Oh the things I do for my asks 🤦♀️
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hc that Al has a very long neck and lots of freckles, the combination of which has led to him being lovingly (and malevolently) referred to as a giraffe
#pjo#percy jackson#alabaster c torrington#alabaster torrington#he would get called it all the time by people like chris and luke#while Ethan would pretend he's above that immature shit#until someone sees that he has Al saved in his phone (I know the rules but I chose to ignore them) as Giraffe#it also helps that from Ethan's very limited perspective Al is tall as fuck#(someone stop me I have an essay to write but instead I'm making posts on tumblr dot com)#(lmao guess who's requesting and extension <3)
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every time I’m forced to see this image bc I have to describe what’s wrong w it to dumb ass ppl a small part of me dies
cw: ugly ass emo whitewashed genshin man
#ppl pointedly ignoring the part where I talk abt how he’s whitewashed#look idgaf if they wanna give n*tlan a more modern vibe but this doesn’t make any fucking sense#how are you gonna take inspo form a nigerian god then make him look like this 💀💀💀#somebody said in response to me calling him ugly asf and whitewashed ‘erm but isn’t he a vampire’ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#bro speedran becoming the ugliest character#I genuinely have no words#well actually I do#could probably write an essay on everything that bothers me abt this game#the worst part is probably that it has so many likable elements abd interesting shit and then at the same time being vile#like how do I explain that the g*nshin lore truly is fascinating but the ability to take it serious and enjoy it plummet when you see the#other shit. frustrating asf#also the fact that only h*yoverse games seem to stay relevant and therefor get to have basically endless content is js 💀💀💀💀#but also having some of the most frustrating fandoms and annoying ass people in said fandoms#like the rampant casual racism everywhere#sorry this turned into a whole ass essay 😭😭#I’m js sad n angry that the thing I used to love turns out to be bigger shit than when I left it#like wow#usually I can enjoy revisiting old fandoms n stuff but this is gen ass#bullshitting
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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the irony of one the first main things established about omori as a character is that he's known for his great memory as if he hasn't lost the entire fucking plot repeatedly for years.
like he has a great memory!! if you don't take into account He's Actually The God Of Repression.
#replaying the game aggaaaiinnnn#now with full appreciation for foreshadowingggg#omori#omori spoilers#raven rambles#.....should probably have like a tag specifically for playing incase people wanna block it lmfao#raven plays omori#fr though he has a great memory until he forgets minor details like he was designed to help sunny forget everything#goddddddd it kinda makes you wonder though how much of it he's aware of#it's implied he still remembers basil after deep well. but I dont know if he's aware he's actively causing everyone else's#memory of him to disappear. like yeah yeah deep well is designed to make him forget too. he set himself up#to make sure sunny never reached blackspace. the loop resets if they fail. if they die#but the whole branch coral dialogue makes it seem like yes. omori is still very aware of basil's existence.#I have a lot of thoughts on deep well.#and especially omori not really realizing he's the one sending basil to blackspace because in past loops it was stranger who confronted him#his guilt of leaving basil is the one thing still tying sunny to the real world. mari is dead. he can't do anything about that except forge#basil is still alive.#as long as he remembers that basil exists#he will keep unknowingly dragging himself back to blackspace. blackspace would stay hidden if stranger wasnt haunting him lmao#he starts the loop by sending him there and then follows through on it by searching for him because he's not yet aware its his own fault#idk it's. aaaaaaaaaaaa#the hug in the true ending is everything to meeeeeee#I have a lot of thoughts about blackspace too but not right nowww thats an essay for much laterrrrr#there's just something about the “deity forgets theyre a deity and rediscovers it later and denies it and forgets again” that kills me#ESPECIALLY WITH THE FUCKING TIME LOOP#and then there's the route additions. he can accept it but he'll try to fight sunny to end it one final time#looooookkkk I'm veryyyy norMALLL ABOUT THIS GAAAAME#hylia and omori remind me of each other in their sort of ignorance of their own power. hylia being the reincarnations of zelda#see it all loops back to just Tropes I Fucking Love#there's a pattern here. do you see the pattern?
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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sneegen thank u for reminding me i forgot to put this somewhere. but my second doodle dump of my showfall kids AU from like . 6 months ago was during a time when hetch being rgb's like pseudo adopted father was still canon to that one 😟 yeah it is NOT canon anymore and i never said that anywhere so im saying it here
#still not sure what im gonna do with skau#planned on actually giving it an askblog at some point after encore#specifically a closed roleplay askblog bc encore being open was super fun but. Brother.#(the face of a man who has seen horrors)#also i just drank an energy drink im gonna be fucking wild for a bit so ignore me#anyways yeah . One Day its storyline may see the light of day#but skau!hetch u r NOT the father!!!#ok visions have plagued me also i MAY need to draw them.#showfall kids au coming BACK in the cage.......#[looking at this whole essay] [looking at my energy drink] so what have we learned#showfall kids#💔💔💔💔💔
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dropped the worst essay of my life but at least it’s done 💖
#🔪 - mello talks too much#like that shit is barely eligible idk even know what i am talking about#i didn’t proofread#so they r prob typos#and#it was about a book#that i#didn’t read ❤️#but it’s fine i can get a 0 on it and still have a A in the class#i only did it bc i take her next semester for english 2#and i didn’t want her to hate me#for not doing the last essay#but now tbh she might hate me bc idek what the fuck that was#i prob got a 50% no joke#welp#it’s fine#i’ll just delete the canvas app so i don’t know#ignorance is bliss
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People will talk about "idol wrestling" and just mean wrestling that wants you to emotionally invest in the performers and want to see them improve as if that isn't virtually all wrestling ever and then hold up TJPW and Act Wres like they're some sort of ultra pure sports based presentation that're just ultra focused on putting on quality matches and not the most pure unadulterated attempts to copy idol frameworks since 2011 Stardom
#sorry every once in a while I suddenly get really mad about some incredibly dumb shit I saw on twitter like a year or two ago#it comes bubbling out of me like a virus being purged from my system#the essay I have in me about how twitter joshi guys use their not understanding Japanese to ignore the actual presentations of the companie#they watch to ignore the actual work and stories being told by the women they claim to be fans of and overwrite them with narratives they#like instead as if these women are just barbie dolls for them to smash together. Is extremely long annoying and correct.#that's why they get upset when the melodrama and character work is too dramatic or in your face. You can't just ignore it so you say ugh#this match sucked what's with the cheesy character shit. How about. Shut the fuck up delete your blog you have nothing to offer
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The temptation to vague about something in the milgram-confessions blog because its something thats bothered me for Actual Years about certain fandoms vs letting it go because when it is brought up its actually done somewhat tastefully and reasonably which makes me happy and this anon probably didnt mean it in the incredibly bad faith way I keep on seeing it be repeated so really Im getting upset over nothing.
#the answer is: ramble a bit in the tags just to get it out of my system#for some elaboration: Im asian! I have a knee jerk reaction when people go 'the westerners are projecting their values onto the east again'#because 9/10 of the times someone does that they're an American who wants to justify their weird racism/homophobia#by using the idea that asian countries (especially Japan) are backwards and/or ignorant but disguising it as 'being mindful of their cultur#and also then homogenizing them and pretending their all a monolith to be assholes to people!#and/or completely dismiss any possible criticism or interpretation for a series as a cultural values thing#this one fucks me up especially because usually there IS Merit in those interpretations/criticisms#but a concerning amount of people then go 'oh your just pushing your cultural values onto them' as a smokescreen to be a bunch of assholes#and/or discredit their ideas because Clearly All (insert x group here) think EXACTLY THE SAME and BELIEVE FULLY in whatever cultural#idea their using to justify this behavior#Ive Seen actual good discussion on differences in culture!#especially in another fandom of mine#but the worse option has happened so much that when I hear someone say those words alarm bells start ringing#its bad faith! I know its bad faith! But Ive engaged the worse option in good faith and came out wanting to punch someone A Lot More#Ive seen actually good faith discussions of cultural difference in this fandom sometimes! Its really nice but It scares me#cause im just Waiting for Someone to come in and ruin it#can you guys tell ive seen too many bad anime video essays? Ive seen too many bad anime video essays.
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has this cretin had a single good take in his life tbh (he's talking about gale)
#tbd#he wrote a whole tweet essay defending his bad opinions#he was like does it have to be objective or its a weak opinion?#yes because there IS such a thing as as bad and weak opinion you moron.#you can't pull the writer card when your comprehension is this fucking bad lmfao#you outed that your read on him was dogshit and so yes objectively someone can say you have no media literacy.#yeah I'm on hiatus and now i'm going back to hiatus for real#this was just too stupid for me to ignore
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You've been blocked so you won't see anything I post. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You're safe from my fanfiction now. I literally tag my own silly shit with a different tag with #shot by odysseus so it won't go into the main stuff. You don't HAVE to see it. And AGAIN! This isn't constructive criticism!!! You're just saying you don't like it!
#You won't technically see this either but honestly if anyone following me feels the same. you can leave???#I'm not forcing you to be here. or if you DO just like my essays. then just look for those?? and ignore my fics???#I KNOW I take some liberties but like??? just block me. you don't have to send this shit.#my essays AND my fics are MINE and a part of me and I'll post them.#thank you to all who say nice stuff to me :'D I know most folks won't like what I write but I've got folks that I care about#who like it and that's what matters. :D Also. I'm having FUN#ask#technically???#i don't know.#I deleted this as blocked but also if anyone feels this way?? unfollow me??? block me??? just stop :'D#anon#I really don't wanna turn off anon as I love my shy homies (have some anons I still have to answer as well! :D ) but seriously wtf?#Especially after I reblogged my fic today???#Fuck it. Ima go write. brb
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spending quality time with the original emotional support cowboy is so vital for my spirit right now
#feeling deeply crushingly melancholy about hanger and his booking and the way he just never gets to shine for more than a brief moment#despite his unbelievable talent and attention to detail and brilliant storytelling mind#he does amazing things with what he's given because he's a real fucking artist but i feel like im constantly being punished by tk for caring#all because he lost him [redacted] so his time and effort and precious years of his career just get squandered#doomed to be the kingmaker but never again the king it feels like. i would so love to be wrong. but i dont think i am.#so basically SAVE ME ARTHUR. ARTHUR SAVE ME!!!!!#red dead fans if ur seeing this ignore that tag essay sorry im going thru it#rdr2
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guess who fought god and won againnnnnnnnn…..?
#somehow my truly unhinged plan of finishing a lab and two essays after work three days in a row fucking worked?????#so tomorrow i get to go birding and just enjoy it????????#WILD.#i MAY have to make some revisions on my chemistry essay but that will be a MINOR event#the bulk of everything is done#and tbh my professor has been ignoring my pleas for help all week - so most likely i’ll just end up turning it in as is#(and taking her ass to Dispute Court if she tries to give me a low score after not helping when i asked for it)#but i’m just glad it’s all DONE#i even worked ahead a little for next week which i have not had time to do in a WHILE#and now i’m just lying in bed :)) eating grapes :))#had a successful program today… STILL might be getting promoted… it’s an entire HOUR before midnight#life is GOOD man…#i mean. there are still Issues to be sure#but i’m pushing through it - i’m making it work#i’m eagerly awaiting the time where things Stop Happening for a bit#but for now - i can take it#i can take it all
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there’s a lot of coruscant guard fics where it’s nothing but angst and sadness, especially fox fics and i love those, but i really wanna see healing fics.
i want fics where palpatine gets found out and the guard struggles to adjust to normal life. how they struggle to reconnect with their gar brothers who have no clue to what they’ve been through. how both sides are awkward with each other because they’ve spent so long apart that they don’t know how to act with each other. because one side thought the other was safe and don’t know how to cope with the fact that they weren’t, while the other side felt helpless as their brothers fought and died for a republic that didn’t care about them.
i want them to slowly learn how to be brothers again. how they slowly learn to get past their differences as they weep into each other’s arms, the trust that had been lost in the beginning coming back stronger than ever. how they stand firm next to each other in support as they fight for their rights and for peaceful lives.
how when they finally get their rights, they smile and cheer and laugh and cry because they won. they won the war and their rights and they won back the trust and familiarity that had been lost between them. because now they’re brothers again and they would be damned if they let anything break them apart again.
#i fucking live for hurt/comfort#so to see so many corrie guard fics that don’t have a happy ending make me :((((#especially if the fic focuses on the relationship between the guard and the gar#because while i think the gar would be ignorant to the guard’s suffering#i don’t think they’ll be malicious either#because they’re fighting on the front lines and losing brothers every day so they truly believe the guard has it easy#and i believe the corries don’t try to tell them any different#because they don’t want to stress out their brothers even more#and besides what they’ve been through doesn’t compare to being on a battlefield#so what right do they have to complain?#i honestly could write a whole essay/fic on the relationship between the gar and guard#coruscant guard#tcw#star wars
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