#this is a VERY open ended question but go ham

[good--merits-accumulated]

what do we think about the dead poets and ambition? 🤔

[wardenparker]

Woo hoo! Way to go on the 2.5k followers! You deserve it

I would like to request Joel Miller w/ “put me down”

Pre-outbreak Joel Miller 1,642 words. "Put me down." Co-written with @absurdthirst

Reader has been drinking. Established relationship. Jealousy.

Joel rolls his eyes, wondering again what the hell is in the air tonight. He’s glad Sarah has already gone to bed, although she would probably be snickering at the scene. “Babe, maybe you should slow down.” He grunts swiping the beer bottle that he had been nursing and tossing it into the trash.

“Baby, it’s game day,” you protest with a giggle, even though you know he’s probably right. You made your sangria much stronger than usual and you’ve had more than a few cups while hanging out with his friends.

“Yeah it is.” You’re having fun, which is something that he would normally never deny you. Although it seems like you’ve gotten a little….boisterous in the last half hour. “How about we get a sandwich?” He suggests, thinking the bread would be good to help counteract the wine sloshing around in your stomach.

"But we have so many snacks!" The remnants of a chip and veggies and dip plate, the garnishes from a pile of wings, and the last two cookies from the batch Tommy baked are all out on the counter around you, but none of it constitutes actual eating.

He snorts, shaking his head at your wild flailing as you gesture around the counter and miss when you go to grab a chip. “Yep, sandwich.” He grunts to himself, turning around to grab the loaf of bread off the counter. “Or a wrap?”

"Can you be my wrap?" Alright, so you might be a bit tipsy. If the intense giggling from your silly joke is any indication. That doesn't mean you don't want to take advantage of the fact that you're the only two people in the kitchen right now to snuggle up with your boyfriend.

That makes him laugh, rolling his eyes at your antics and he turns to press his lips to your forehead. “You’re drunk.” He accuses fondly.

"Not totally," you protest, pouting at him as deeply as possible.

“Totally.” Joel laughs, leaning in and squashing your lips between his fingers playfully until you pull back. “Eat a wrap then you can have a glass of water.”

"And a kiss." Tacking that onto the end with a grin, you pull your arms around him so he can't pull away to do anything – let alone make a wrap or get a glass of water.

“And a kiss.” If you hadn’t almost started a fight, your possessiveness might be cute. Amusing even. But you had almost been ready to throw hands and he didn’t need the cops showing up here tonight.

"Oh-kay." The pleasant buzzing in your head and the fact that that bitch Larry Anderson had brought with him isn't in here to eye fuck Joel, combine to put you in a very amenable mood.

“Good.” He pecks your lips and reaches behind you to open the fridge. “Ham, or…ham?” He asks, the fridge slightly bare, but in his defense, he had been buying for the party and not wraps.

You hum, pretending to think really really hard, and realize you've forgotten the question while you were screwing up your face into comical expressions. "Ummm...wine?"

“Jesus.” Joel rolls his eyes and moves to the cabinet beside the fridge. “Water now.” He orders, tone a little sharper than before. He doesn’t want you with a bitch of a hangover tomorrow.

"Don't be mad." A pout overtakes your face immediately, but you lean against the kitchen counter and prepare to take whatever Joel dishes out. Even tipsy you know you probably overdid it earlier. It's not your fault that girl wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

“I’m not.” He grabs a plastic cup, not even trusting you with a glass one at this point. “I just want you to be well hydrated.”

"Well..." The best you can do is shrug, but you're still pouting. "You sound mad."

“And I always look like an asshole.” Joel reminds you with a small chuckle. “So….?”

"I had to be mean to her." He pulls one of Sarah's plastic cups out of the cupboard and moves back to the fridge to fill it with cold, filtered water. "She was looking at you like you were a piece of meat, baby."

“Doesn’t matter.” He reminds with, turning around to hand the cup to you with a smirk. “I’m yours.”

Joel always takes care of you, and you know that even after two too many glasses of sangria, so you take the water cup dutifully. "I knowww. You're my piece of meat. But she wasn't respecting that and that's not okay."

“You don’t need to worry.” He promises softly, moving back to the fridge. “She doesn’t have anything on you.”

"I trust you," you clarify, dutifully sipping the water that he's gotten for you. Joel's loyalty has never been in question. Not when you were friends, not when you crossed the line into dating, and not now that you're living with him and Sarah. But the sangria had made you feisty and that was that.

“Good.” He chuckles as he slaps together some ham and a thick slice of that Muenster cheese you insist is better than Kraft. “Because you are the one sleeping in my bed, hogging the covers.”

"I keep telling youuuu." The singsong in your voice is interrupted by another drink of water. "We need a king-sized blanket. A big blanket. For us two hogs."

“I just will shiver every night.” He teases, folding the wrap up like a letter and handing it to you to eat. It wasn’t pretty, but he never claimed to be a good cook.

"But we could be warm snuggly burritos!" You insist, which is always the argument you give for why you should get an extra-large blanket for the queen sized bed you share, but this time you take a dramatic bite of the wrap he's made for you to punctuate your point.

“You would just steal all of those covers too.” He reminds you, leaning back against the counter as he eat watches you eat.

Giggling, you hold up one finger, crushing your wrap into an accordioned lump in the process. "One snuggly burrito."

“You might be a little cute when you’re this drunk.” Joel huffs, folding his arms over his chest.

"Baby..." Trying very hard to make your face serious fails spectacularly, and you end up giggling again. "I'm always cute. You said so."

“I did, didn’t I?” He huffs. “Finish eating and we’ll go back out to the party.” He bribes.

“Okayyyyyy.” It doesn’t stop you from leaning into his side though, and Joel lets you snuggle him without protest or question.

You eat the wrap quickly, making Joel think that one of your problems might be that you haven’t eaten today. When you reach for the veggies and dip, he encourages you to eat some of it too, not wanting you to have just the wrap on your stomach. Not having realized you were hungry in the first place, you’ve now eaten an entire meal standing in the kitchen and the pout you give Joel afterward intensifies. “Now I’m sleepy…” you huff, indignant at yourself for daring to be tired during a house party. Even a small one.

He chuckles quietly and pushes off the counter to walk over to where you had drifted away from him. Grazing off the table. Smirking, he bends down and scoops you up, about to carry you upstairs.

The squawk you let out could raise the dead, but he laughs so it ends up in half-hearted huffing and puffing as he carries you up the backstairs. “Put me doooowwwn! I can walk!” Not that you actually want him to, of course. Being manhandled by Joel is a privilege.

He smacks your ass, laughing again when you squeal. “No.” He tells you, continuing to climb the stairs. “You’ll go back out into the living room and fight that girl.”

“She put her tits in your face!” You groan, not bothering to fight as more stairs pass under Joel’s feet. He’s far stronger than you anyway. “Only my tits go in your face.”

You’re possessive when you’re drunk and it’s kind of hot. “I like your tits in my face.” He hums, grabbing your ass this time instead of slapping it. “That’s why I stood up. So she couldn’t do that.”

“And I like your little pancake ass,” you giggle, smacking his ass as he goes. Slinging you over his shoulder was a tactical error on Joel’s part.

“Hey.” Joel’s step falters and he snorts as you start to giggle. “Payback, huh?”

“Yep!” Another bright giggle breaks through as he hits the top step.

“You need to go to bed.” He huffs, shaking his head.

He carries you into the bedroom, only setting you down again when it can be directly on the bed. Before he can step away, though, you reach up to snag the edge of Joel's t-shirt and give him a soft smile. "I love you, baby."

“I love you too.” He promises, leaning back down to kiss you softly. “Lay down, I’ll get you some aspirin and water.”

"Then cuddles?" When you're tipsy – or drunk – it's not hard to turn almost any expression into wide, pleading eyes. In this case, it's the wide and pleading eyes that you know Joel just can't resist.

Joel sighs softly, knowing you are feeling a little vulnerable and he nods. “Fuck ‘em.” He decides. “Tommy can keep their asses in line.” He tells you as he brings the bottle of Advil and the cup of water from the bathroom.

“Cuddles!” Maybe it’s simple of you, but ending any night in Joel’s arms is all you want. All you’ve wanted for years now. The day you went from friends to lovers was a gift, and that gift is just as precious to you now as it was then.

______

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My Masterlist!

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 5

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

Chef JK! Salt bae JK! Absolutely smitten and endeared Jimin!

Jimin absolutely indulging and encouraging JKs cooking enjoyment by asking him questions about his process was so cute. Tae giving such earnest compliments

The way Jikook chugged their Soju lmao damn guys

Jimin making ssam to feed the staff and JK saying no perilla leaves was Hysterical only because of the whole perilla leaf history he has 😂🤣

JK popping open the Soju in increasingly silly ways while Jimin watched absolutely endeared and smitten once again. Until Tae accused him of teaching JK that and he had to defend himself lol

Jimin calling JK very handsome 🥰

Only 2 months until their service 🥺

Them talking about how they don't think they will fight at all when enlisted together..only help each other. And JK saying he hopes they even sleep right next to each other. No one can say they both didn't desperately want to do this together!

Jimin never letting JK elbowing him in his sleep go!

Jimin so demurely petting and loving on the cat while JK runs, jumps, playing and acts crazy while loving on the puppy is so them and so funny 😂

Vminkook car karaoke 😍😍😍

Jimin sneaking out of the pool to go spray JK who was still inside on his phone lol

Vmin teaming up on JK as soon as he gets in. Lol pretty sure Jimin probably pinches his butt behind that wall 😂 and his nipples at one point too lol

Taking turns sleeping on the bottom of the pool 😂

Poor Jimin got water up his nose lmao!

JK pulling Jimin to the top of the pool by his hair was a CHOICE lol he pulled it knowledgeably at least 😅😭😂🤣 I know too much about them at this point. Honestly

Too many fun under water games 😂🥰💜

JK playing a prank on Jimin and locking him out of the house lmao and him signing that he is annoying and to open at him 😂🤣

JK saying he is cold and Jimin starting to open his arms like he is going to hug him 💜

Not them having a towel fight 😂🤣🤣

Tae fully just claimed Jimin's bed and made Jikook choose the other two. Lmfao and the way they fought over who had to take the lower bed, but in a "no no, I'll do it's way 😍

Jimin waking up and first thing going to snuggle JK 😭🥰😭🥰

And then we cut and somehow Jimin lost his shirt and is waking JK up very obnoxiously lmao

Tae leaving early in the morning to go golfing with the Wooga squad! Look at him splitting his time so effectively and probably taking a break from the jikookery lol

JK photosynthesizing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jimin taking forever to get ready and JK trying to hustle him along was peak domestic behavior lmfao

Jimin wearing the perfume because JK said he likes it 🥰 cuteeee

Tae getting dropped off for their next meal all together and the Vmin hug 💜

Jikook telling Tae they were up till 4am and Jimin fell asleep phone scrolling?! Lol what were y'all doing all night?? You need more sleep! I say, typing this at midnight my time lol

I need my babies to stop counting calories 😭

Tae ruffling JKs hair and him trying on Tae's glasses is soooo cute! Jimin trying them on too! They all look so good in everything.

Not them arguing over if it's ham or pink sausage. Lmfao JK getting so upset about it that he asked the waitress and his "hah" back at Jimin over it! Lmfao Jimin being like whooo hey. It's just food. And their "apologies" to each other. Lol! They are so extra over everything lol How come Tae started this argument and it ended up mostly between Jikook 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jimin basically telling JK he is happy if JK is happy 🥰 he loves him ❤️

"JK drinking soda means round 3 has just begun" lol Jimin showing off his JK knowledge 😂

Tae spent most of this episode when not actively playing with Jikook on his phone. Part of me wishes we got to see more of him with his other friends too, but I'm glad he made time to hang out with Jikook before they all enlisted too 🥰

Tae baby was so sleepy! He slept through the whole car ride basically and then came back to nap fully too. Jimin woke him up so softly 🥰

JK at a restaurant in NY while doing Golden promo alone with staff and immediately thinking about how he wants to make it for Jimin because "Jimin would love it" is so freaking cute and precious and sweet

JK didn't just cook stew for Jimin or Vmin, but for the entire staff. And I love him so much for that. The sweetest human he is

Jimin napping while JK cooks too 🥰

Jimin somehow lost his shirt at some point while everyone was coming to get food. Lol who knows why, maybe it's just titties out as appreciation for the cook? 😂😂

Both Jikook expressing that they loved having V there and that he helped make it so fun and that a maknae line trip made them feel really young again. And you could tell too. They were so silly! I love these 3 so much!!

Wrap up Thoughts:

So Jikook knew by the end of September that they would enlist together. And the palpable relief they both clearly felt over that was so so clear. This 100% made the experience way more tolerable for them. I'm so glad that they have each other. The difference in the way they talk about military service, especially JK, in the US and in Jeju is striking. In the US, JK started playfully smacking Jimin when he would bring it up, it caused him tension and anxiety and he clearly didn't want to talk about it, especially on camera. While here in Jeju, they know they will be together and they are relaxed, making jokes, expressing their happiness about getting to go together. Expressing their surety about how nice and helpful it will be to have the other there and their faith and trust in each other. How they want to wake up to each other. It's beautiful

I don't like calling any of the members 3rd wheels unless it's stupidly obvious it's a joke, but this episode Tae was third wheeling a bit at times. Jikook seem to have a tendency to hyper focus on each other at times during conversation. When they were all playing and being silly, I never once got 3rd wheel vibes. Only during times of heavy conversation while they were eating. Tae also kept pulling out his phone. He was clearly in touch with amother group of friends during that time as well who were also in Jeju, and him trying to split so much of his attention also probably fed a bit of those third wheel vibes a bit too. I'm so glad he was there with them though. Jikook also were as well. They all had such a good time together and seeing them and sharing in the love they all share is so healing for me personally. I hope Tae had the best time on Jeju with them and his Wooga Squad too! 💜💜💜

And that's all I've really got for this episode. It was a lot of mostly just sleeping and eating and playing this episode! Lol I can't wait to see what Sapporo brings!

[bunnyhoney111]

new song.

eddie munson x fem!best friend!reader

desc.: you guys are always a bit too honest when you’re high, and you whine about being horny, my casual sexuality kink

warnings: uhh lots of soup making on your end, eddie being a little too laid back, KINDA and i mean BARELY dub-con just for the very end; he doesn't do anything to her he just does something(?), kinda-ish friends with benefits situation.

request: no ma'am, no ham, no turkey- exTREMELY self-indulgent.

w/c: 968

a/n: i've been writing this for over the course of two-ish years now, just finished it as i want to get back to tumblr now 😭😭😔. i hope it's good enough to reinstate some of my audience. it's also a leetle short sorry folks

“eddie, ‘m horny,” you whined- drawling out his name, squirming in your place next to him on the bed. he was writing lyrics in his notebook to a song he’d been working on. he reached over pressed a hand into your stomach to stop you.

“i’m sorry sweetheart, but i’m not sure what you want me to do about that,” he didn’t spare you a glance, his hand returning to the notebook.

“it hurts,” you sighed, crossing your arms under your chest. you could feel the swelling of your clit as blood rushed to the area, you’d always felt this way when you got high.

“go to the bathroom, make soup,” he said, still running his eyes over the words and occasionally erasing to correct a line or a verse.

“ew.”

“im sorry, rub one out, flick the bean, choke your chicken-“ he continued throwing slang at you with a giggle as he finally looked over at your glistening face. your pupils were dilated almost to the point of hiding all the color in your irises, and your mouth opened to cut him off.

“it’s not that easy for girls, its not just one and done, and i certainly couldn’t cum in your dingy bathroom, freak.” you’d called him that out of endearment, it didn’t sting like usual when it came from you.

“well, do it there then,” he stated casually, flipping between pages. you whipped your head towards him, when he doesn’t look back towards you, you let out a scoff at his suggestion.

“what? i don’t mind, i’m not even paying attention.” he glanced at you as he spoke, before returning to his scrawled handwriting.

you still couldn’t tell if he was joking, but you couldn’t seem to care as your thighs started to rub together, trying to resist the urge to reach into your underwear and satisfy the ache.

eddie notices your hesitance, and your shifting thighs, and places his notebook down momentarily before moving to his knees in front of you. without a word, or so much as a glance he brings his hands to grasp at the waist of your shorts. he nodded to you slightly, his eyes still trained downwards, prompting you to lift your hips.

he slides them down with ease, pulling your underwear down with them. he pushes your thight apart, using two fingers to spread you out, you simply waiting for his next move; too high to question his motives. too needy. he splays his palm towards you, waiting for your hand.

you gave him your hand, but he grasped your wrist, and he guided your fingertips to rest against your throbbing clit, pressing them with his into your bud and assisting the slow circular motion. you gasp at the pressure, and soon enough eddies climbing away from you, removing his hand from yours.

you continue the movements he’d been guiding you with, as he nestles back into his spot and continues writing in his notebook, short glances strewn your way every time you whimpered.

“shit,” you cursed, your forefinger dipping down into your yet untouched hole. the squelching from between your legs was filthy, and it caught eddies attention- along with the borderline pornographic moan.

his eyes stray from the notebook, down to your soaked core. his lip is pulled between his teeth and he lets out a hiss at the sight- his dick hardening at an astounding pace in his pants.

with your eyes closed you don't seem to notice as he begins rubbing his hard-on through his pajama pants- one hand still holding the notebook open. he listens carefully to your blissful moans and whimpers of his name as if he were the one touching you.

it was only fate that the song he'd been writing was about some fucked up version of a one night stand with a friend- he glances back at the words and without hesitation he pushes himself off of the bed and walks to his dresser.

"mmm, what're ya doin' ed?" your eyes crack open to see him grabbing something. he walks back to you with one hand behind his back, his other clutching the now closed notebook at his side.

he tossed the book to his side of the bed, still watching your hands ministrations to your cunt.

"shhh, don't talk- just let me hear you."

you don't hesitate to let out another guttural moan, fingers deep inside yourself, staring directly at him.

his eyes go wild and his smiles so wide you can't imagine his cheeks aren't sore. "say my name, pretty please." you hear a soft click and before you can question it you're squirming and pulsing around your own fingers.

you revel in your release, letting out that same pornographic moan that had caught his attention before and let out a breathy scream of his name. "eddie, please!"

sweat beaded your forehead, you gasp to catch your breath as you slowly remove your fingers- a sick squelch coming from your pussy before you hear that click again.

eddie pulls his hand from behind his back, a tape-recorder cemented in his palm. he plays it back to you, and you shrivel with embarrassment as the moan of his name and the sounds of your own body play back to you.

"ugh, you ass!" you quickly lurch forward and grab it from his hand and flip him off threatening to erase the recorded sound.

"hey! don't you dare, i need that." he snatches it back from your grasp. you give him a questioning glance, your left eyebrow perched higher than the other and an almost-frown as you tilt your head slightly.

there go those wild eyes of his, once more, followed by a short- sharp smack to your ass, "for your feature on my soon-to-be latest, and greatest, banger."

[mitsuristoleme]

I just saw your requests are open so I might as well jump in BECAUSE SKDNDNSN ok buttttt what about sukuna + his tummy having a mind of its own BEFORE you were their wife, like, you know nothing about this man but everytime you come in sigh you hear the most direct cat calling you've come across only to see a man with an expression of "God kill me now" so you don't know what's happening but it makes you really curious so you just... Provoke him? Like, use revealing clothing, put on an expensive perfume, etc. AAAH I Just love that hc of his stomach mouth having a mind of its own istg aaaa

a/n: ok so im gonna write this in a modern au because lets be real heian era Sukuna did NOT care about dating/courting

formatted into a bullet point headcannon post because im having way too much fun with this and nothing is connected in a cohesive form (pls forgive me for that but my brain is going ham with this concept)

cw: gn!reader, cursing, sexual content, bestie!gojo, Sukuna’s tummy mouth is a menace but wbk

imagine you’re a teacher at jujutsu high and a special grade sorcerer (because i enjoy feeling strong and this is a little self indulgent) (yall can choose if you want to be gojo’s classmate or nanami’s it doesn’t really impact anything)

Sukuna gets reincarnated without a vessel (dont ask me how it just happens ok) and to everyone’s surprise, he volunteers to be an instructor at jujutsu high

he says its to “make these pathetic kids somewhat decent sorcerers so they dont ruin the name of jujutsu”

for whatever reason, the higher ups assign him a spot among the teachers at the school

imagine your shock when this 1000 year old 7 foot tall motherfucker shows in the middle of your class to introduce himself as the new teacher

you’d heard about his whole situation but you didn’t expect him to show up in the middle of a lesson

you attempt to shoo him away but he doesn’t even move (i mean what did you expect really?) and you’re forced to end class early

weirdly enough he keeps a hand clamped over his stomach the entire exchange?? you chalk it down to a stomach ache or something (that night you do wonder if curses, or er, the king of curses, even get physical pains)

ok so before i get into the whole thing lemme just-

in my head, the tummy mouth has the humour of a middle school boy and the self control of the dog from ‘absolutely anything’

so yk. its a mess.

you see him the next day in the staff room

hes wearing a starched white shirt (it accommodates all his four arms and you question how he got one made in a single day) and a pair of fitted slacks, looking WAY too good for a curse

you realise you’ve been staring through the glass window if the staff room and finally enter

only to be greeted by a LOUD wolf whistle followed by a “OOOOH HEY HOT THANG” in the deepest, raspiest, most demonic ass voice you’ve ever heard

sukuna looks like he wants to kill himself.

he gets up and leaves the room immediately

you hear the a faint “NO GO BACK AND FLIRT WITH THEM YOU WIMP ASS HOE” in the same demonic voice as he stalks away

and you’re standing there

wondering what the actual fuck just happened

did you just experience harassment in your workplace?? but his mouth never even moved???

Gojo enters the staff room right after Sukuna vanishes and you IMMEDIATELY fill him in on whatever happened in hopes that he would have any explanation

hes confused, curious and amused all the same time

this doesnt mean hes of any help though

no, the piece if shit just laughs at you and goes off to terrorise the first years take class

before leaving he very unhelpfully reminds you that you have to share classes with Sukuna today

you enter the classroom a couple minutes before the students (you literally have 4 students and one of them is a panda god knows what the point of 2 teachers for such a small class is) and find Sukuna already in the room, leaning back on the chair, his legs resting on the table, eyes closed

once again

looking WAY too fine

just as you internally celebrate that nothing weird happened THE SAME OLD DEMONIC VOICE booms a “DAMN BABY YOU LOOK FINE, CMON LEMME TAKE YA HOME”

“wha- I- Eh??? I’m sorry what the fuhck?!?” you sputter, eyes wide

Sukuna has leaped up from his chair, a mixture of embarrassment and murderous rage on his face

he hisses a “shut the fuck up” in the vague direction of his abdomen before turning to you and apologising

“i am so sorry,” he says sheepishly “i owe you an explanation at the very least after two incidents”

“OI DONT APOLOGISE ASK THEM OUT THEY’RE HOT AND I KNOW YOU THINK SO TOO”

“I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING SEW YOU SHUT IF YOU DONT STAY FUCKING QUIET”

and once again. you’re standing there. shook.

Sukuna turns to you again with an expression that clearly says ‘Gods please strike me down right now’ and asks if you know about him having multiple body parts

you’ve heard of the legends and stories: four eyes, four arms and mouths he can will to appear wherever he wants, so you nod

“Well it just so happens that the mouth on my stomach is sentient, and extremely vulgar. Although i’m sure you noticed the latter.”

his voice is a wonderful contrast to that of his tummy mouth

deep, melodic and smooth

he just got even more attractive.

fuck.

you realise you haven’t given him a response and nod dumbly muttering out a quick “uh-huh”

thankfully the students enter at that moment saving you from any awkwardness

what you have recently come to identify as Sukuna’s tummy mouth stays blissfully quiet throughout the class and shockingly enough the silence on the belly front continues throughout the day as you discuss lesson plans with your ridiculously hot coworker

that night as you’re getting ready for bed, you remember the exchange between Sukuna and his appendage (specifically the part about Sukuna thinking you’re hot) and a mischievous idea forms in your brain (hey gojo satoru’s influence was bound to kick in at some point)

the next day you leave the top few buttons of your work shirt undone and put on some of the pheromone perfume you got as a gag gift in an (what you presume to be potentially successful) effort to rile Sukuna up (lets be real you think hes pretty damn hot too)

clap yourself on the back for that one bestie because the second you enter the staff room, Sukuna’s eyes nearly bulge out of his skull and the tummy mouth starts BARKING

and drooling apparently (how do you know? well maybe because the front of sukuna’s pristine white dress shirt is now sopping wet)

“WIFE THEM UP I SWEAR TO-“

the sound of a coffee cup shattering interrupts whatever was gonna come after that

you’re met with Nanami’s incredibly unimpressed gaze

without saying anything he leaves the room, muttering, “its too early for whatever the fuck this is”

well.

that happened.

yall get together eventually

gojo tells you “i knew you wanted to fuck him”

before you can come up with any sort of response, your boyfriend’s stomach pipes in with a “OH HE DEFINITELY WANTED TO FUCK THEM”

this is your life now.

good luck.

a/n: HI IM HERE TOO THIS TIME!! i left the ‘getting together part kinda up to interpretation because im shit at writing the ‘getting together’ arcs but we’re gonna pretend like it was because i want you to be able to go wild with whatever you want

please dont copy or repost my work without my permission

comments and reblogs are appreciated

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dividers by @/vanillekiss

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XIV good omens season 2 (still not traumatic) episode 2

Here we go. It might not have been traumatic, but it has made me utterly in love with a fictional character. Great.

While everyone runs around between episode 1 and 2 to use the loo or fetch emotional support fruit, in preparation for my inevitable gay panic for Crowley, I eat an emotional support banana as the intro sequence plays.

I realise too late that bananas remind me of fellatio.

The episode begins. There are incoherent screams of BILDADDY through the chat. The phrase religious fervour and ecstasy comes to mind. I do not say it.

God and Satan are betting on a poor bloke so his goats and kids are going to be dead, Crowley has a permit to wreak havoc, Aziraphale is scandalised.

Gabriel's angel hair is very Lord Farquaad. Everyone agrees.

Jimbriel is determined to make his new dad proud, and rearranges all the books in alphabetical order of the first letter of the first sentence. Aziraphale struggles to compliment him.

CROWLEY LIVES IN THE BENTLEY. I'M READY TO RIP THROUGH REALITY'S FABRIC TO GIVE THAT IMMORTAL SOME LOVE AND AFFECTION. AND OF COURSE HE STILL KEEPS ALL HIS PLANTS AND HAS THEM IN THE BACK. @neil-gaiman WHY MUST YOU CAREFULLY CRAFT BEAUTY THAT BREAKS ME.

Anyway.

NO NOT ANYWAY I'M STILL RAGING BUT WE HAVE A SUMMARY TO DO AND I'M A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL GODDAMN IT.

Angels are assholes. Jimbriel is very supportive bookseller's son.

The shit-job subtlety attempt last episode was very powerful because TOGETHER THEY ARE STRONGER! *unicorn music*

Aziraphale strokes Crowley's chest. The fandom sobs.

Crowley suggests getting humans wet to make them 'vavoom' and the apple falls from my slack jaw mid bite.

Aziraphale and Crowley are shit at interpreting human media.

Job storyline. If I open my mouth I'll start scream-crying about how Crowley didn't even kill the goats. He had both heaven and hell's permission, orders from God and Satan, and he didn't even kill the goats. Anyway no we're not doing this now thanks.

Crowley introduces Aziraphale to food. Aziraphale goes ham on the ox rib while Crowley has a little spring awakening about his kinks. I eat my other emotional support banana in honour of the blowjob angles.

Crowley didn't even want to reveal that he'd saved the goats to Aziraphale even though Aziraphale was looking at him with betrayal, because it was for the goats and he wanted to-

Sorry. I'm so fucking normal about goats.

David Tennant and his son are having a HECK of a time.

All Crowley wanted to do was ask questions and christ if he isn't angelic who is he put goats' safety over his-

Bildaddy is the best cobbler and obstetrician. Gabriel is an idiot.

Back in actual time, Crowley gives up on Aziraphale mid-flashback and they saunter off to facilitate some lesbian romancing.

OUR BOOKSHOP. OUR CAR. PLENTY OF USE.

Boundaries, Aziraphale, please. Someone reminds us that the Bentley is all Crowley has left. I fill with preternatural RAGE again.

Aziraphale poor baby has a crisis over betraying heaven. Crowley comforts him even though Crowley fell so every defence of heaven is an attack to himself. I'm totally normal and start eating my emotional support kiwi.

Still eating my emotional support kiwi when the episode ends. Crowley says Aziraphale is too pure and angelic looking to be a demon which means that she doesn't see how pure and angelic she was while making the stars, she thinks she was marked in some way, imperfect. It is okay for her to fall, not Aziraphale.

Anyway yes summary all done.

BUT THE GOATS. CROWLEY DEFIED HEAVEN AND HELL FOR GOATS. AND-

END END THE SUMMARY NOW.

[whumptober]

Question for the mods because I'm curious :)

What are all of your fave prompts to write about/draw/edit/whatever creative thing you do??

Thanks for the ask anon! It was really fun for us all to come up with our favourites! And for a little more fun, at the end we've added a poll for you guys to let us know which mod's interests best align with your own!

Kitty - My favourite whump tropes are definitely captivity and torture, followed by burning buildings with of course smoke inhalation and oxygen masks and all that, vehicular accidents, and hypothermia (especially when paired with nearly drowning or falling through ice)! I absolutely adore anything with family feels too, especially found family, and although I don't write it much I love a good bit of enemies to lovers too. Characters dealing with mental health issues can also be very therapeutic for me. And of course my whump needs to have a good amount of comfort at the end, so recovery is a very good trope too!

Also, alternate universes are my jam!

Yenn - I love body horror and I go feral for mouth sewn shut. I don't know why that one fascinates me, but I love the horror and helplessness of it. I also deeply love sleep deprivation, maybe because I'm generally sleep deprived (I have nightmares every night). Coming in at a close third is probably Doomed by the Narrative, but only when it's done well, because I can usually spot it from the opening sequence and the fun becomes figuring out how we'll get to the fall. I'm all hurt, little or no comfort.

Surro - Found family will forever be my favourite trope, especially if the dynamic contains that One Whumpee that ties them all together. Parental figures who just so happen to let the One Whumpee get under their skin are also my jam as it makes the comfort that much sweeter. I go ham for misunderstood/outcast characters who sacrifice themselves for the team (and the team get to them just in time). But I also love writing for emotional angst, characters with anxiety (as it’s therapeutic for me) setbacks in recovery, head injuries, angst surrounding scars, and of course BEDSIDE VIGILS! (Especially if those watching the whumpee are wracked with guilt for abandoning said whumpee)

Personally I lean more towards the platonic/comfort side of Whump, but I make sure my characters go through hell to finally get their respite.

Vanne - I’m really unfaithful to tropes most of the time and normally have about a million WIPs going at once. I normally end up going back to more emotionally charged tropes every time though. I write a lot of doomed romances with a lot of emotional angst. I know that’s super vague, but honestly give me tears, rejection, loneliness and a character’s internal struggles and I’m all set. I’m so up for any kind of emotional trainwreck. I also really cycle through tropes that are relevant in my life at a given time, so it’s hard to list specifics. I’m definitely either all in on the hurt, or all comfort depending on the day. I rarely find a balance between the two.

[the-merry-otter]

How To Make Medieval Fabric Buttons

You will need:

• fabric (I’m using a medium weight wool)

• a sewing needle

• cotton or silk thread (it MUST be strong)

• a thimble

• dressmakers pins

Using this style of button as a fastening technique was very prevalent in 14th century Europe, on both men’s and women’s clothing. It was used for anything from sleeves and openings on the front of garments, to the iconic liripipe hoods (which is what these are gonna be for!).

They were usually made out of leftover fabric from the same material that was used for the garment they were intended for. As well as using every scrap of material possible, they also save you from having to buy metal buttons, which… aren’t cheap (both now and then).

The trade off is of course having to make them, which can be a painful process (literally - try not to get stabbed by the hedgehog ball at step 4!!). I thoroughly recommend a thimble to push the needle through as you form the ball - this is hard enough without having to pull it through.

Making buttons in my experience is 10% knowledge, 60% spite, and 30% hatred. It is a contest of wills between you (who wants a button) and the fabric (who doesn’t want to be a button). I wish you luck soldier.

To start with, cut a circle out of your fabric. How big will depend on what fabric you use - if it’s linen, you’d cut a larger circle than you would for wool. Mine is about 30mm.

Using a long long thread, bind on and then sew running stitches around the outside, about 5mm from the edge (may vary with fabric).

Pull this thread tight like a pouch, and turn the raw edges inwards in one direction. Try and tuck them inside the “bag” section. It will likely be more of a squashed oval at this point than a sphere.

Now, get your dressmakers pins and go absolutely ham. Continue to squish it “inward” (towards where the opening was) as you pin. The button should now resemble a very unfriendly little creature now (good luck with not getting stabbed, it can be a bit of a prick).

Next, basically use your needle to try and get it to stay in that shape. I usually do a bunch of stitches around the edge of the “back” end, and then spend some time criss-crossing the back. Try and put your needle in close to where it came out, so that you don’t get long pieces of visible thread.

Once you are confident that it will hold A Shape ™ (but also isn’t so stabbed that you can’t refine it further!), remove the pins. Your button will most likely resemble a little tiny messy wool brain at this point, but that’s ok!

The next step is to use your needle and thread to continue tucking the ball inwards to the centre of where the opening was. Above illustrates how I’ll flip the open part of a fold inward, by coming up through the fold and then levering it downwards so it gets tucked away. You can also just use the thread to pull errant folds inwards. Use the hand holding the button to squash it into form, and then sew it into place.

Once the button is actually a ball shape, crisscross the back of it a bit so that everything is firmly held in place. It should now (all things going well!!) actually be a sphere.

Once you’re happy with the shape and firmness, take your thread to stem out of the centre back. Bind off, and then slide the needle off the thread, leaving the long end. This can then be used to sew the button onto the garment.

The back will still be somewhat messy, but the front should be smooth, and the whole shape roughly spherical. When the button is sewn on using the remainder of the thread, you won’t be able to see the back!

I wrap the remainder of the thread around the finished button so it won’t get tangled, and then pop it in a jar with the rest while it waits to be sewn onto the garment.

Good luck with your crafting! Feel free to ask any questions in the notes, or straight into my inbox :)

[mallahanmoxie]

one thing about ham dani that nobody seems to get and why I'm always fighting for my life in the webtoon's comment section is that in all her fear and reticence around opening herself up with her friends, believing she belongs in this world, trusting in her place and relationships is that SHE'S NEVER WRONG ABOUT THE NEGATIVES. i think it's very easy to look at dani a hundred chapters in still going on about her place as a side character and what she can expect from them realistically, what she can allow herself to feel for them, and feel frustrated, like she's being deliberately obtuse. but dani. is. not. wrong.

one thing that many isekais do is that they will take the premise of "being transported to a novel" and use that simply as a vehicle for the FL to use her knowledge of the future to her advantage and turn the odds on their head. beyond the initial "ehhh why is the ML flirting with me??" which tends to wear off rather easily, there is little questioning about what being in a story means. and inso's law takes that question seriously. because dani IS inside a story, her friends ARE characters AND THIS IS EASILY PROVABLE SINCE THE BEGINNING. How? because she leaves.

it has happened to her before! It happens multiple times in the novel! that's why march 2nd is SO terrifying for her, because everything she's built can be taken from her in the blink of an eye and SHE will be called crazy and SHE will be left grieving and nobody else will remember what ONLY SHE LIVED. she is effectively, practically, tangibly separate from each world by this experience. when dani insists on the labels of main character, side character, the tropes and the narrative possibilities happening within them SHE'S NOT WRONG!! because those things are TRUE!!! I know it's easy to gloss over it bc we as readers just take everything in as a story, but the crazy plot points? they're insane to her too because SHE is a real person and others are not! They're characters! That's why it's called The Law of Webnovels because dani is making sense of the rules of a world which factually functions distinctly different from hers. she's not making that shit up, it's not (entirely) an emotional hold up. that's shit's fucking real.

the nuance is brought on by the fact that the characters are, in fact, also people. they behave like people (albeit inside the margins of wild webnovel logic), they feel like people and they see her as a person. but she does not entirely reciprocate, because to view them as people means assuming the hurt that will inevitably come when 1) she gets sent back into the real world and loses them all or 2) the plot to the novel finally kicks in and who knows if the guy she liked was the ML and will end up with her best friend and all her love and all her trying were for nothing. No matter what, dani loses.

there's also the fact, which i think is exemplified very clearly in her feelings towards her grades and being compared to yeoryung, that even outside the character/real person dichotomy, ham dani and the boys come from WILDLY different backgrounds. when they graduate high school, they will go to different colleges and they will get different jobs and the wide wide gap which dani had managed to bridge due to the magic of webnovel rules will be opened once again. in the social hierarchy of modern korean society, dani will be left behind. ban yeoryung is somewhat immune to this despite sharing similar socioeconomic status because she has 1) better social capital in the form of her beauty and intelligence and 2) plot armour immunity bc she's destined to be with one of the boys anyway (and again it IS destiny bc she's the FL and according to the genre clues dani's been gathering that seems to be the most likely outcome). yeoryung has resources and tools beyond the story that dani cannot access. even IF this wasn't the world of a webnovel, if they existed in the real world, yeoryung COULD feasibly climb her way up but dani? she's realistic about her prowess and she knows very well that being a good friend and a good person does not mean she will get to remain close to her friends who are much much much richer. my point here being that even if she weren't under the assumption (WELL TESTED!!! SCIENTIFIC, EVEN!!!) that she's in the world of a story ruled by story laws, she wouldn't be silly for guarding her heart against the possibility of drifting away from byr+the boys.

all of this is why i love dani's character arc and her as a person. she doesn't act irrationally. she only acts very, very humanly. it's why i loved the kidnapping arc and her confrontation with choi yuri. she has to learn to treat them seriously, as human beings, because despite factually being characters, they don't have the awareness of it and their lives are every bit as real as any other to them. it's part also of dani learning how to be a person herself, because she's still a kid growing up and learning what's what, and doing so in an environment much more stressful than the usual. i think people are being irrationally mean towards her simply because they do not make the effort to understand her.

[petit-papillion]

2023 Qatar GP Post-Race Interviews

18 drivers (not counting SAI and HAM). 1 so ill he could not finish the race (SAR), 1 taken to medical center and excused from media duties (ALB), another to medical center after almost passing out after getting out of the car (STR). 3 to podium ceremony/cooldown room. The remaining 12 drivers all had to lay down on the floor and seriously cool down, before finally making it to the media pen (although 1 had to leave to cool off more after answering only 2 questions (HUL)).

Here are some of the comments made by the drivers:

"By far the most physical race I've ever experienced. I felt close to fainting in that race. I've never experienced anything like it before. I had to ask my engineer to give me encouragement just to try to take my mind away from it. I do a lot of heat training in the sauna and so you push your body to the limit and sometimes you just need to get out of that sauna. And that's sort of how I felt from about lap 20. I opened my visor for the whole race and it was hot air, but it was better than no air. It was brutal. I was so sick in the car. I wasn't physically, I wasn't sick, but I felt ill."

- George Russell

"I was feeling ill, lap 15, 16, I was throwing up for two laps inside the cockpit. And then I was like, ‘Shit, that’s going to be a long race.' (...) It was just like 80C inside the cockpit this race. I don’t think we probably do the best job in terms of not keeping the heat in the back, but dissipating it inside the cockpit where the driver drives, and I think that was probably the reason today why we felt so bad."

- Esteban Ocon

"Especially with the g-forces, when you have a lot of dehydration, you can drink but the drink is more of a tea than anything else because it’s at 60C-plus, so it’s extremely difficult to hydrate yourself and again with the g-forces, you don’t see as well. The track limits we’re speaking about are [the difference between just] centimetres at 280km/h; in qualifying when we’re fresh it’s difficult to respect them, but then at the end of the race it’s a nightmare."

- Charles Leclerc

"You don't want to be passing out when you're driving at 200mph down the straight. And that's how I felt at times. Any hotter, I think I'd have retired because my body was going to give up."

- George Russell

"Extremely hot. Even from the beginning, I put my helmet on before the start of the race and I was sweating. It definitely didn't get any better once I was driving! Very hot."

- Oscar Piastri

"I asked my team on the radio if they would tip water over me in a pit-stop, but it was not allowed. My seat was burning hot and felt my right side was burnt by this heat. We have to think for the future -- maximum temperatures or maximum humidity... In football, they have water breaks, but we can’t have that, can we?"

- Fernando Alonso

"It's ridiculous. These temperatures -- everything goes blurry. The last 25-30 laps it's just blurry in the high-speed corners. Blood pressure dropping, just passing out, basically, in the high-speed corners with high loaded G-forces. The kerbs are now painted because they're worried about punctures. I couldn't see where I was going because I was passing out. I was fading in and out. The temperature was too much."

- Lance Stroll

"The feeling is like torture. I would say it was harder than Singapore. Just because the temperature in the cockpit started to be almost too much, I think it's getting to the limit and someone is going to have a heat stroke."

- Valtteri Bottas

"It was crazy. I had to consistently open the visor to breathe, actually. It's just too, too hot. Obviously, I don't want to open the visor because sand also comes through the visor and I could feel that sand inside my eyes, but if I close it's insane the amount of heat I felt. I don't know if other helmet manufacturers are the same, but for myself, it was tough, and if you drive behind another car, it's even worse."

- Yuki Tsunoda

"I think some of the guys who are struggling today, they are extremely fit or even fitter than me. Just the whole day, it's like you walk around in a sauna and in the night, the humidity goes up. The races are quite long. But it's not the only place...a few places are like that. Singapore is almost like a two-hour race and it's very, very warm. I think it's also quite on the limit of what should be allowed. So there are a few things to look at, but this was definitely way too hot."

- Max Verstappen

"We're in a closed car that gets extremely hot in a very physical race and it's frustrating.. I guess on TV, it probably doesn't look very physical at all. But clearly, when you have people who end up retiring, or are in such a bad state, it's too much. For the speeds we are doing is it is too dangerous. I know this race is later on in the season [in 2024], it will be a lot cooler a few months later but it’s something that needs to be talked about and I’m sure we’ll speak about it as it shouldn’t have happened in the first place."

- Lando Norris

The 2023 Qatar Grand Prix, everybody.

Sources: The Race, Sky Sports, Fox Sports, ESPN, Sports Illustrated

[lizzieislife94x]

First Love (w.m)

Requested<3

Wanda x G!P reader

 Both legal age 19 in high school

AOU era for wanda so if your picturing wanda picture that era 😊🤷🏼‍♀️

Requestes are very much open message me if you want something all feedback is welcome

Y/ns POV:

"Do we REALLYY need to go to the game I don't want to watch a cocky Tony Stark running around thinking he's the man for scoring a few touchdowns" I pout to my best friend Amy as she laughs at me I'm trying my best to pretend I don't wanna go but I secretly do I've been seeing the head cheerleader Wanda Maximoff she's so fucking beautiful but no one can know I have an image to up hold if people around the school see me with her being all loved up they'll think I'm soft I didn't get the title of the schools bad girl over night I worked to build it but wanda is an absolute sweetheart she's the good girl around these halls well so everyone thinks trust me I've seen her being naughty and I've heard the language that slips past her mouth when we manage to get somewhere alone but in everyone else's eyes she's the good girl I'm the bad girl.

"Hello y/n" I'm snapped out my thoughts by Amy gently shaking me looking at me concerned "are you ok your where somewhere else" I cough and shake myself snapping back to reality "yeah I'm all good sorry just zoned out what where you saying" I give her my undivided attention "yeah I was saying you're coming to the game tonight if you like it or not I'll drag you there" I laugh and throw my hands up in surrender Amy is one of the few people I like in this place I'm never mean to her she's actually my best friend "you win you win ill go" I pretend giving her the victory "ok pick me up at 5pm that's enough time to get home and change " I smile as we say our goodbyes as I walk over to my pride and joy my motorcycle my precious baby I put my helmet on and climb on putting the keys in and starting her up I quickly look left and right and spot wanda as she spots me and I nod and wave without being seen by anyone as I can guess she blushes and waves as I drive off towards my house it takes me roughly 25 minutes to drive home as I park I run inside and go to my bedroom to get some black ripped jeans and an over sized hoodie to match after I get ready I goto the kitchen and make a quick ham sandwich I eat it and grab my phone and keys and head towards the door but stop myself I quickly shoot wandaa text 

Me: Hey I can't wait to see you do your thing tonight I had to pretend I didn't want to come tonight to Amy but I think she bought it 

Wanda: Oh my god 😂 least she doesn't suspect anything I can't wait to see you tonight I miss you y/n after the game meet me in the maths class 

I smile like an idiot as I gently bite my lip before I send another text

Me: I know ! I miss you too wanda and you got it babe see you in maths after the game

I walk out and head to my bike as I put my helmet on and drive towards Amy's house as I pull up and I grab my phone.

Me: I'm outside get yo ass out here bitch 

I put my phone away and wait a few minutes before she appears "well you took your time dickhead" I laugh as she hits my shoulder playfully "shut up let's go" she puts on the spare helmet and climbs on holding onto my waist as I drive towards the school it takes us 15 minutes to arrive and leaves us 10 minutes to get to our seats as we find out seats and get comfortable my eyes look for wanda and instantly land on her making me smile as if she can feel me she locks eyes with me and smiles as I mouth "you got this babe" she bites her lip and nods I honestly want the game to start so it can end I'm not here to watch the men run around I'm here to watch the good girl my good girl that owns my heart do her thing.

After the game I whisper to Amy "ill meet you outside in an hour I have something I need to do" she doesn't question me she just nods in agreement as I make my way to the math class room making sure no one sees me as I arrive my smile is beaming "hey baby, fuck I've missed you" I say walking towards wanda grabbing her waist pulling her in for a kiss which she happily returns as her tounge roams my mouth I savour the feeling, once air becomes a problem I break away and rest my head on hers "I've missed you too y/n" I look into her eyes for a second "we don't have long baby and I need you now" she whimpers making me giggle as I let my hands rub her ass "I have the place to myself this weekend do you wanna spend it with me we can  actually spend some proper days together" I say as she beams me a smile "I'd love to y/n" I smirk and push her against the desk as I start to kiss her neck earning precious moans from the redhead I feel her hand rub my crotch and moan against her neck "fuck wanda" I moan gently as she continues to rub my groaning member "I need you inside me y/n I've missed having you inside me I feel so empty when your not inside me" I bite my lip and smirk at her begging as I pull her panties off in a quick motion earning a surprised gasp making me giggle I quickly bend her over the desk and run my hand down her body admiring her as she spreads her legs I quickly push my ripped jeans and boxers down as I grab my dick and rub it through her dripping cunt lubing my cock with her juices "yes fuck y/n" she moans gripping the desk as I slowly slide myself into her waiting cunt "fuck wanda no matter how many times I fuck you you're always so fucking tight" I groan as I thrust hard bottoming out inside her "uhhhh shit don't stop uhhhh" I smirk as I run my hand round to massage her tits over her top as I start to thrust harder and faster both of us moaning messes the sound of skin slapping would easily be heard by anyone walking past "this pussy belongs to me, say it "

I growl into her ear as she whimpers beneath me the sounds of her soaking pussy only turning me on more "fuck y/n you own me you own my pussy its all yours no one elses baby" I lift her legs allowing me to get deeper as I fuck her harder feeling her walls gripping my cock, I increased my thrusts and look down as she creams all over my cock "fuckkk fucckk fuckkk baby I can't oh fuck" she screams making me smirk "fuck wanda I'm gonna cum but I don't have a condom on" I say with my eyes closed as my release fast approaches rushing towards me "pull out quickly " I instantly listen and pull out as she sinks to her knees and takes my cock into her mouth making me moan as my head rolls back making me grip her hair "shit just like that wanda it's coming" she tries to say something but fails sending vibrations up my dick causing me to crash over the edge I moan loudly as I feel my cum shoot down her throat after a few seconds she stands up and pulls me into a kiss "I have to go but I can't wait to spend the weekend with you baby getting to wake up to your beautiful face" she says as she walks backwards towards the door as I fix my jeans and boxers "me too ill see you Friday after school beautiful " and just like that she's gone, fuck I'm so inlove with this chick this is gonna hurt, I shake my head and laugh to myself as I go to the front of the school and see Amy waiting for me we both get onto the bike and I start the drive to her house to take her home then make the short drive to my house.

AN: this was a request I hope you like it requests are open I do them almost right away hahaha stay hydrated people hope everyone has a good day/ night word count is 1.5k 

[jungle-angel]

Cozy Companions: Part 2 (Calvin Evans x Reader)

Summary: You and Calvin absolutely hate grading papers but your daughter and Six-Thirty will always give you a reason to laugh in the midst of the stress

Tagging: @floydsmuse

Calvin really truly hated grading papers, the very bane of his existence as a teacher. Already, you two had enough stress on your plate with the holidays around the corner and petty admins thinking they were the cat's ass on campus. At home, you could somewhat relax, but around finals, you could both tell that the next two days would be utter hell.

Calvin looked up from the test of a student who, although had done well, had clearly struggled with technical terms, to hear Six-Thirty coming around the corner, his tags jangling like a bell. Cal gave him a few scritches behind the ears, sighing deeply at the annoying and tedious task of grading.

"You know?" he said to the dog. "You're a lucky boy. All you have to worry about is digging up that ham bone you buried in the flower bed last spring."

Six-Thirty gave something akin to a snort and a woof before Cal heard you coming from your adjacent bathroom.

"Here she is," you chirped in your sing-song voice. "Little princess fresh from her bath."

Your daughter Ellen, giggled as Calvin rose from his spot on your shared bed and took her from your arms, littering her soft little cheeks with a million kisses. "Hi princess," he cooed. "You're so warm from the bath......and you smell so good too."

You yourself, giggled a little. It had been the few drops of orange and mint oil you used for your own bath but figured it wouldn't hurt in the least for Ellen since this time of year was prime season for dry skin.

Your baby girl babbled like crazy, her pretty blue eyes lighting up when she reached up and pressed her chubby hands against Cal's cheeks. You both melted at the sight of her gummy little smile and her adorable little baby giggles that filled the room.

As soon as Ellen was in her warm little pjs and nested cozily in the crib at the foot of the bed with her teddy bear, you and Cal had set to grading the papers, hoping that despite the chatter, Ellen would go to sleep. Already, the house was feeling draftier than usual and through the Christmas lights outside, you could see the snowflakes beginning to fall more heavily.

"So what technically is the answer?" you asked, stumped by a question with a half point mark next to it.

"The answer to the question in this case is 'no,'" Calvin explained. "Dissolving salt molecules in water doesn't make its atoms ionize. Ionization begins long before that."

"So he got it right then?" you asked Cal.

"Yes but I do have trouble reading this one's handwriting," Calvin said. "I'll give him the points but I am gonna work with him on the handwriting skills."

You laughed a little but once the test was graded, you and Calvin realized you had at least twelve or eleven more to grade. Calvin was at his wits end when he suddenly heard Ellen giggling like crazy and Six-Thirty coming around to his side of the bed. To his shock, there was Ellen, crawling out of her crib and up the foot of the bed towards the both of you.

"How'd you get out?" Calvin teased, picking the giggling baby up into his arms. "Did your big brother let you outta your crib?"

Six-Thirty jumped right up onto the bed with Ellen's bear in his mouth, dropping it between you both. Calvin couldn't resist teasing the baby, blowing soft little raspberries on her cheeks, hearing her giggles erupt throughout the room. You both could barely keep your eyes open when the clock downstairs in the living room rang in the hour of nine.

"Alright princess," Calvin said, scooping Ellen up into his arms. "In you go."

He had been about to put Ellen back in her crib when the draftiness had suddenly changed his mind. Back into bed he crawled with her, tucking her in safely between you both so that she wouldn't get hurt while you all slept. As the three of you settled in, you and Calvin let the stress melt away, happy to always have a reason to have fun even when tending to a chore.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

absolutely random kol mikaelson headcanons

huge maneskin fan

has an anxious habit of biting his nails that bex often scolds him for doing

heavily reliant on autocorrect whenever he texts

he can spell just fine, but is still getting used to the small keyboard

a lot of the time, he pushes 'enter' instead of the send button, expecting it to send, but it just makes a new paragraph and his texts are never actually sent

it pisses his siblings off big time

canonically spends time in records shops to flirt with girls, but secretly has a record player and owns many albums

100% pulls harmless pranks on his siblings, and 50% of the time, they never realize it was him

but one time, he meant to scare bex by hiding behind a door, and accidentally scared elijah, and the man had a fit of rage at his youngest brother after nearly jumping out of his own skin

thinks damon would be a cool friend / murder / prank buddy if they could put aside their differences (wanting each other dead) and give it a try

definitely has mommy issues (what mikaelson doesn't?), but his make him more passive than aggressive

the only people he's ever opened up to, he's ended up killing out of fear of his secrets being shared

loves a good fruity cocktail every now and then, but it's a secret he guards with his life

bonus points if the straw has an umbrella

was never actually going to kill jeremy, he just wanted to get under bonnie's skin

however, he was ready to kill any of them that wanted to raise silas

and would've killed april young for fun had she not been a friend of his sister's, and he and his sister were getting along that day

has a playlist full of songs from musicals that is locked from his profile, just in case one of his siblings look at his account (btw, elijah pays for the family spotify account)

and since elijah pays for spotify, kol pays for netflix, bex pays for disney+, and klaus pays for hbo

they all get the money from the same place, but they feel like they're making meaningful contributions to the family by putting their names on these specific bills

when kol died, bex was not happy about having to pay for two streaming services, but she was not about to miss out on finishing the shows she had started

when kol came back, she immediately gave him back his payment responsibility

whenever they're pissed at each other, they change the password and the one at whom they're mad has to complete a series of puzzles to get access to the new password

kol started this, but klaus does it the most

has a secret affinity for iced coffee, and goes ham for pumpkin spiced lattes every year

pumpkin flavored everything, really

when bex finds out, the teasing never ceases

kol and bex spend halloween together watching movies all day, but then going out and scaring children at night

elijah chides them for being childish, so sometimes they sneak out before he can ruin the fun

wants to kill matt donovan solely for the fact that he slept with his sister

wanted to kill him before, but now it's personal

secretly adores hope, even though klaus doesn't let him near her

braids her hair whenever his brother isn't around, then says elijah or bex did it, and klaus doesn't question it

has tea parties with her and lets her paint his nails

when klaus finally catches them, hope defends her uncle, and her father reluctantly lets them continue to hang out

weapon of choice has been a baseball bat ever since he got a huge satisfaction out of hitting damon with one

likes caroline over cami when it comes to klaus' dating life

likes that caroline persistently rejected him despite his multiple attempts to woo her

painted itty bitty ghost into one of klaus' paintings and he has yet to notice

lives in fear of the day he finally does notice (but not enough to regret doing it)

doesn't often drink so much he gets drunk, but on bourbon, he's a rather upset drunk, however on wine, he's a very giggly drunk

touchier than people would think, and many never realize until he is drunk and lets his guard down a little

has a fear of tight spaces

much prefers being a witch, but also enjoys the thrill of tearing off someone's head with his teeth

no outfit is complete without a little bit of blood

[alaffy]

Only Murders in the Building, Ep. 4x04 – Two for the Road (Spoilers)

The cats are back in the opening.  I swear there weren’t that many in the first three seasons. 

Most of this episode was the trio hanging out with their movie counterparts.  It was funny, but I’m not going to recap any of that.  So, this is just going to be more of a random explanation of what was important.

We find out that the F.B.I. has taken over Sazz’s murder case because they think Jan is the killer.  But Detective Williams doesn’t believe that to be the case.  So, she tells the trio that a bullet casing was found, that the people in the apartments did hear the shot (but didn’t call the police?) and they’re saying that it couldn’t have been Dudenoff as they are out of the country (which is convenient).

Charles and Eugene investigate the man with Pink Eye.  He really does have Pink Eye.  He also has a picture of everyone living in those apartments, with one person’s face scratched out.  That person is also holding the pig from the apartment in the picture.

Mabel and Eva visit Christmas Guy.  Turns out he’s an Influencer who’s theme is Christmas.  He actually hates it (and, given the fact that they thought he might have wanted Charles dead because Charles had real Christmas trees banned in the complex…well, that’s a no go).  But, we do have two things that happen in that apartment.  First off, he has his own Ham Radio that suddenly plays the theme from Perfect Strangers (this I’ll come back to in a moment).  Second, Mabel shows Christmas Guy the tinsel.  He tries to set it on fire and it doesn’t burn.  He explains that tinsel is very flammable, so this string isn’t what they think it is.

Oliver and Zach hang around each other (Zach hating every minute of it), while Howard listens to the Ham Radio.  Howard writes down everything he hears in a notebook that he gives to Oliver.  He also mentions he heard the theme to Perfect Strangers.

Mabel gets the idea to squat in Dudenoff’s apartment.  She believes the apartment isn’t abandoned and if she squats in it, it will force Dudenoff to come back.  However, long story short, the trio eventually realize that both Mabel and Howard heard the theme song.  They look at Howard’s notes and discover a channel, that they put into the Radio.  There they make contact with a woman, who seems to be Dudenoff.  They start asking her questions, but she says they need to stop or else they’ll end up like the last person who asked (indicating Sazz).

Now, obviously, Dudenoff says this is a way that makes it sound like she’s threatening them.  However, we know this show won’t reveal the killer so soon.  That being said, obviously she knows something about Sazz’s murder.  The question is, of course, what does she know?  The interesting thing to me is that she said that, if they continue, they would end up the same as Sazz.  Well, if Charles was the target, it wouldn’t matter either way. I think Sazz was right about another murderer, but wrong about the fact that they were trying to kill Charles.  But her investigation riled this person’s feathers, and they killed her.

Because one of Sazz’s notes seems to indicate a poisoned dog.  It was Oliver’s dog who was poisoned in season one and a letter was left.  But Jan denied being the one who did it (and given the fact she was willing to talk about her other exploits, I feel like she’s not lying).  So, who poisoned the dog?  And why?  And why go silent after Jan was caught?  Did the trio get close to something in Jan’s case, maybe some sort of secret, that they didn’t in the others?  (I mean, the writers literally broke Jan out of jail for this…I have a feeling we might see her again).

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

"Big Time Battle of the Bands", Chapter 5: Big Time...Fandanas?

Wednesday morning arrived. Logan was going around the Palmwoods with a big clipboard.

"Great! And thank you for your input." he said, smiling at the girl he'd finished surveying. He jotted down a note as he continued down the hall. Upon looking up, he did a double-take.

James was walking at the far end of the hall, too, but he wasn't alone. A swarm of people surrounded him. He was laughing and joking with them.

The first thing Logan noticed was that every one of them had a bandana circling their forehead. A couple of the girls appeared to be wearing T-shirts that said, Proud Bandana Babe! Below these words was an image of a scintillating diamond wearing a bandana.

What in the world?

Logan tried not to goggle as he and James met in the middle. "Guys, don't lose those Fandanas, alright? They double as good luck charms." James explained. The throng laughed and unglued themselves from his sides.

Once they had left, James turned to the bewildered Logan. He grinned. "Oh, them? They're a few of the people that bought tickets for the concert. Those flyers really did the trick, huh? And my Diamond in the Rush blog, of course."

Logan looked as bewildered as ever. "Okay, I have a couple questions: One, why haven't you started on our project yet? And two, Fandanas?"

James grinned again. "Fandanas. Yeah. That's the brand-new line of merch I’ve just released. I'm selling it to the Diamond Ring." He held up his arms, which were adorned from the wrists to the shoulders with neon-colored bandanas.

When Logan stared, he explained, "The 'Diamond Ring' is my new little fan club. I'm not sure what to call each fan individually, though. I was thinkin' 'facets.' Did you know that 'facet'—"

"—is the name for each intricately cut side of a diamond?" Logan finished, glaring. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I did know that. Speaking of learning new things, it's your turn to do the surveys on water usage for our school project." He shoved the clipboard on James' chest.

James opened his mouth to protest, but Logan held up a hand to shush him. "Don't get back to me until you have finished interviewing at least ten more people." With that, he stalked past James.

"Well, fine! It'll give me the chance to sell more Fandanas, anyway!" James yelled after him. Buddha Bob rattled by with his usual cleaning cart, whistling. He stopped as soon as he saw James.

"Hey, nice bandanas!" he complimented.

James' face lit up. "Thanks! You wanna be the newest member of the Diamond Ring?" he asked, holding out a green bandana.

Behind his unruly beard, Buddha Bob beamed. "Totally! Say, can you spare a brown one for Plungy?" He held up his beloved plunger. James stared, but shrugged and smiled.

......

Outside the Palmwoods entrance, Kendall, Carlos, and Katie had set up a ticket booth. This time, Katie was dressed in a bulky microphone costume. She was dancing with an arrow-shaped sign. The sign read, Big Time Rush Tickets HERE!

Mrs. Knight approached their station, bearing a tray piled with sandwiches and refreshments. She looked shocked by the setup.

"What are you doing? Why is Katie wearing that poorly ventilated costume?" she immediately asked.

While Carlos dove headfirst into the food, Kendall explained, "It's just a sales tactic, Mom. And a very effective one, at that." He flipped through a wad of cash to prove his point.

Katie lowered her arms and wiped sweat from her forehead. She turned to glare at her content brother.

"Guys, I've been dancing for an hour. We've already sold tickets to every resident. I get that it's for a good cause, but this is bordering on a child labor violation." she panted.

Kendall looked at her. She did seem pretty tired. "I dunno, Katie. I mean, we're getting so close to selling out. If you leave, we may never reach that goal." He held up a few of the tickets.

Carlos piped up around a mouthful of ham, "Yeah, now that we've discovered the effect that angelic cuteness has on people, we don't know if we can let it go."

Mrs. Knight let out a half-frustrated, half-amused sigh. "Well, this little angel is clearly exhausted. And, besides, she has homework to finish. C'mon, young lady."

Katie dropped the sign in relief, grabbed a juice box from the tray, and started to follow her mother. She paused to face the boys again. "By the way, are you guys forgetting that this is the Palmwoods? I'm not the only adorable thing around here, you know."

When Kendall and Carlos looked at her curiously, she smirked.

......

"WOOF!"

Lightning the TV Wonder Dog was now perched on a chair with the sign in his paws. The two guys stared at him, then at each other.

"I think I prefer Katie." Carlos said. "At least we didn't have to scoop her poop."

At that moment, a couple of teenaged girls went up to Lightning. The dog’s tongue lolled happily as they cooed and scratched behind his ears.

"Then again..." Kendall grinned. When Lightning's shades slid down his muzzle, he winked at them. Their mouths fell open.

......

In Hawk Record's polished studio, Cross My Heart was recording demos. The four stood around a large microphone, the harmonies flowing easily and beautifully. Hawk reclined in a chair and proudly looked on from behind the glass. He was sliding faders and pressing various buttons on the vast console.

Once they had finished, he spoke through a small mic. "That was absolutely splendid, chicks." he praised. "Let's take five, shall we?" The girls nodded and began sipping from water bottles.

A laptop sat next to the console. Humming to himself, he pulled it onto his lap and spun his chair around. "Just wait till the masses hear them. I can see it now: 'Cross My Heart: The Best Thing Since Big Time Rush.'" He clicked a news link, sniggering.

His laughter stopped short. Emblazoned across the laptop’s screen was a picture of Big Time Rush. The header blared, "Big Time Rush to Hold Benefit Concert for the Palmwoods Apartments."

Hawk's smile twisted into an enraged expression. "Those fiends. Can't they stay out of the headlines for two seconds?!"

He swiveled around to face the obliviously talking girls. He looked from them, to the header, and back again.

And there it was: revenge, slathered in big, beautiful letters.

"I believe, chicks..." he began, the simper reappearing, "...that it's time to fledge the nest. CAW!!"

[princelylove]

same anon that asked about the platonic/familial thing!

aahh that's good to hear, your highness! ^^/ I hope it's alright to ask for Yoshikage Kira with a quiet and//or shy child!reader,,, specifically when he's part of the Kawajiri fam!

maybe they're in Hayato's place or his younger sibling, but the thought of them being curious of Kira because woah their dad changed… his kid gets abnormally clingy to him within time. kinda really curious about the "fluff"//"comfort" with them but also… knowing Kira whatever fluff//comfort is going to be. very. questionable and damning- but in the end even if he hurts them… his kid still somehow trusts him and seeks comfort from him and listens to him much more than anyone else

ahh i hope this is alright! sorry if i rambled a lot or if it's too much ><;; you can change things up a bit if you'd like and go ham with it if you'd like !!

When it comes to Mr. Kira, you should generally be quiet and stay out of his way. Oh, sorry, I misspoke. I mean Mr. Kawajiri. 

Warning for discussion of gender roles/conforming to gender stereotypes, it’s gender neutral until I go on my “Yoshikage is a freak who cannot stand anything non mainstream” tangent but I talk about both masc and fem. I cut this short because I got a little too interested in the entire family's dynamic rather than just Kira, hope you still like it. ♡

I’m fond of Yoshikage, if I may be so informal, for his taste in fashion, he cares quite a bit about how he presents himself, and by extension cares how you do. He makes sure you dress appropriately for your age, and in a gender conforming way. He sighs every time you come home with pants on under your uniform’s skirt, or with your tie abandoned. God forbid you’re a part of a subculture that doesn’t conform- being a delinquent isn’t going to get you anywhere in life. Charms on your bag aren’t allowed until you’re older, and pushing your socks down like that makes you look ridiculous.

While Daddy is rather strict and loveless, Shinobu isn’t. She spoils you a little too much- especially considering she thinks she didn’t show Hayato the love he needed, and that’s why he acts Like That. She’s thankful he doesn’t bother you too much, but would it kill him to come downstairs and eat dinner with us? Oh, Mommy’s sorry, she doesn’t mean to vent, she loves girls nights with you too! Girls night isn’t a gender thing, you can have girls night with mother and be a young man! Sigh. Shinobu’s sorry. She’s just desperate for someone to hang out with her. That woman is so neglected. She loves to take you shopping and hear about your interests! Oh, you want to be alone? That’s fine too! Mommy will be right here when you need her! Waiting patiently! …. Are you sure you don’t want to watch some tv, maybe?

Yoshikage has assimilated well into a fatherly role, he accepts it as “being a man,” and therefore, part of his role in being normal. The only issue is he’s used to his father, who has very old and traditional views on what a man does, with absolutely zero chance of becoming open minded. He's more fond of his mother, really. Neither of your parents tell you no if you ask for something- it’s a bit different if you’re masc or fem, he has an idea of what you’re supposed to be from very early on and failing to meet those expectations means not getting the care you deserve. At least from Yoshikage, Shinobu will always love you. ♡

If you’re a girl, Yoshikage is fine with you being a daddy’s girl, as he was sort of himself, in a sense (Don't mention his relationship with his actual father). He’ll humor you asking him to buy you things, as long as it isn’t every week or terribly expensive. You mustn't become a brat. He isn’t really one for excessive materialism, but nine times out of ten he’ll humor you if it means you’re opening up to him. He’ll rent books and different types of media from the library for you if you ask (That he approves of), and he takes you to the park for some fresh air weekly, even if you’re older. He encourages taking care of yourself, but you shouldn’t be trashy about it. Do your nails, but not bright colors. Style your hair, but not in a tacky way, and leave it natural or, if you MUST dye it, dye it a natural color. He tends to nag you more if you’re fem- no boyfriends, come home by a certain time, etc. Typical overprotective girldad. He uses a softer voice when he speaks with his daughter- he knows he’s supposed to be gentle with you, and he’s not going to risk giving you a complex where you grow up to be like the women he murders and doesn’t keep. 

If you’re a boy, he’s less expressive with you, and you likely get most of your affection from Shinobu. He’s fine emotionally neglecting you because he doesn’t view you as something soft. You must be like him. Your brother’s already a failure, are you going to follow in his footsteps? He would still take his son to the park and get him a library card (Note: Doesn’t rent books for you, only gets you the card) and whatnot, but it’s obvious he’s doing it out of obligation (Shinobu lightly suggested it) rather than real love. Bummer! You get nice clothes, though. Being quiet as a boy is fine as long as you aren’t struggling academically. Which has its advantages! If you’re failing, he’ll tutor you, and that means more attention! That also means getting locked in your room and getting berated because “Men are supposed to be better than this, who will have you when you’re older if you’re stupid?” but hey. At least you can get out of hanging out with him by saying you need to study, but you can’t get out of his life lesson lectures. 

While Hayato is the weird child, you’ve taken on the role of what Yoshikage intended his future children to be like, hopefully. Well behaved, well mannered, you don’t have any disturbing hobbies (Which is bold coming from him), you don’t get in his way. For that, he rewards you. Gifts, quality time, letting you be alone, etc. Anything he can think of that will reinforce this good behavior.  Hayato has mixed feelings about you. He also has a bit of a complex when it comes to gender considering his canon dynamic with his mother of “I”m gonna be the new man of the house and take care of mom,” so your relationship depends heavily on a few things. Who’s older, if you’re closer with Yoshikage or Shinobu, if you’re a girl or a boy (Hayato hasn’t figured out there’s a third option yet, give him a couple years), etc. If you’re a girl, you get pushed in the same box as Shinobu. This creep is pretending to be dad, I have to protect mom and my baby sister! If you’re a guy, he’ll expect you to help him, but cuts you some slack if you fail because you’re younger. Hayato likely dismisses an older sibling entirely, they’re just getting in the way and not helping mom at all, regardless of if they help her or not.