#this is a New Experience i was not prepared for AND now i have to go buy a pill splitter!!!!!

[summertimesadnessirl]

It doesn't matter.

If you have done everything you can to try to get the life you want and nothing works, it doesn't matter why you got that way. All that matters is don't keep trying to get love and letting people use your desire for it against you.

I'm pretty sure it's not actually real. And it's just something they made up to sell soap.

So that's the model I work with.

As long as I refuse to allow myself to believe anyone loves me, everything works out well. When I break that, people hurt me.

People will guilt you into saying it's because you don't pick the right people but no matter what criteria you use it's always the same. And no matter what treatments you apply to yourself, it's always the same. And no matter how many new styles of communication you learn to talk to other people, it's always the same.

For me the only thing that kind of worked was doing sex work and being super fake and having several hundred shallow fake relationships that had a lot of sex and weren't boring and miserable, because whenever I've tried to not date and just hang out and do other things like working or something either people bother me all the time and are really mean and annoying or they are always "conveniently" introducing me to people they want to fix me up with. Men and women and like? Those people are always basically on the same emotional level as the people I have already dated and seem really shy and kind of uninterested in me. When I talk them out of their shell, they seem still shy, like they basically admire me for not seeming shy to them and like how I dress but don't have anything in common with me and we wouldn't have anything to talk about, or they have kind of a mental picture of a type of super assertive girl who will be into their lack of experience and want to like... put spices on them and let them sit on the counter top for a full moon cycle and then write out a recipe for them that they can use to attract someone who will love them now that they aren't virgins or something, and they don't want to admit that to me up front, which is very mean to do, to want someone to like... be your character development without asking and then not let them prepare to be left with nothing from that interaction in exchange for being a cute story you talk about with your future spouse or whatever.

Most people don't seem to want a relationship with a particular person or a particular type of relationship or even like have considered their own potential deal breakers. Not "I didn't realize this thing I thought everyone did wasn't a thing everyone did" or "i was wrong about my needs in certain areas" or whatever. They genuinely have no idea like what they do for fun that is a group activity, and they make you spend like an hour trying to figure out what they want every time they want something and most of the time when you give it to them they're unhappy.

It's like people want me to be in a relationship just so I'll be in a relationship and other people want to be in a relationship with me just to be in a relationship and even people with lots of money who can leave and who spend all their time complaining about their relationship don't want to leave their relationship. And when I'm like "I don't want to be in a relationship right now because I'm broke or whatever and I wouldn't be able to leave a relationship easily." People are like *shocked pika* why wouldn't you go enter into a relationship with someone who wants to date you based on you having a normal level of kind conversation that you would have with a person on the street and being able to give them sex? Why would you not want to break up with the person you are dating and date a random old man who did your boss a favor once because he gave you a ride in his truck? Why would you not just let other people make major life decisions for you? Why are you not jumping at every chance we give you when it doesn't look or feel right?

It feels like the goal of the whole thing is having someone else to blame for your problems. I don't wanna do that to someone. I hate when stuff isn't my fault and I have to suffer for it anyway. That's why I cut my own hair and pierce my own ears and stuff. So if it gets messed up, it's just an accident and it's because I have never done that before and I just need to figure out how to fix it and I can take all the time I need instead of trying to like... figure out the magic buttons to push to get someone who broke something to be willing to admit they messed up and will try to fix it and like... having to wonder if I can trust them if they're a specially trained and certified expert and they aren't better at doing something than a person who went on the internet and read a tutorial and kind of guessed.

Idk. It's like if you told me most people in the world don't like sex or dating or anything and they aren't in love either and there's like some kind of mystic force that attacks people who don't live with a partner by such and such a time and have a kid by such and such a time and no one told me? I'd totally be like

"That explains everything."

Was I raised without love or was I born unlovable?

[thefemigirl]

★ Embrace Uncertainty for True Happiness

I recently started reading this amazing book about Emotional Intelligence and it totally opened my eyes to how important it is in our daily lives. Emotional Intelligence isn’t just about understanding our feelings—it’s also about being flexible and open to whatever life throws our way.

Just imagine this: You’ve set your heart on landing a specific job right after university. You imagine how perfect it will be working there, you already know how you'll organise your desk, and window shopping your future office outfits. But when things don’t go as planned i.e. you don't get the job, you feel crushed and start doubting yourself and feel you're not good enough or just plain unlucky in life. Personally I've been there TOO many times. This fixed mindset can blind you to other awesome opportunities that might be just as fulfilling.

However, I have some tips from the book on how to emotionally manage these kinds of situations!

▸ Step 1: Stay Open-Minded

Tell yourself, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m open to learning and growing from whatever comes my way.” Let go of those rigid expectations and embrace life’s unpredictability.

Why it matters: Staying open-minded helps you adapt to new situations and discover unexpected joys.

Real Talk: I once had a super fixed idea of becoming a neurosurgeon (brain doctor), but when I left highschool early, I thought I would be a failure forever. Then a Software Development apprenticeship opportunity popped up, I decided to give it a shot. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made!

▸ Step 2: Focus on the Present

Make the most of your current experiences instead of always planning for some future “perfect” situation. Ask yourself, “What’s good about this moment right now?”

How to do it: Try practicing mindfulness through meditation or just take a few minutes each day to appreciate your surroundings.

Pro Tip: Start a gratitude journal. Every day, jot down three things you’re thankful for in the present moment. It’s a game-changer!

▸ Step 3: Embrace Growth in All Experiences

When challenges come your way, look for opportunities to learn or grow. Instead of labelling something as entirely good or bad, ask, “What can I take from this experience to make me stronger or wiser?”

Action step: After any setback, take a moment to reflect on what you’ve learned and how you can use it moving forward.

Personal Insight: During a tough breakup, instead of dwelling on the pain, I focused on what the relationship taught me about my needs and boundaries. This helped me grow and prepare for healthier relationships in the future.

Building emotional intelligence isn’t something you do overnight—it’s a continuous journey of self-discovery and adaptation.

So, as you navigate your own path, remember to embrace the uncertainty and trust that each experience, whether good or bad, is shaping you into a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Here’s to your amazing journey ahead,

[cognitiveoverload]

Promises (future Aaron Hotchner x reader)

summary: A new prosecutor takes over the case where you're a witness, and he assures you things will be just fine.

tags: the case is a murder case with a hint of something else involving the reader, fem!reader, prosecutor!Hotch

note: This is a pilot, prologue, call it whatever you want. If there will be future chapters, it will take place in 1996 or 1997, when she's a homicide detective.

(1991)

Two years of preparation is now going down the drain, because the original prosecutor had a heart attack, so the case is being taken over by some guy called Aaron Hotchner. Great. Excellent. He’s young, mid-twenties, probably doesn’t even have enough experience to handle such a case, but it’s not like you have a choice if you want to get this over with finally. Hopefully, he won’t die or be taken off the case too. 

Your parents were murdered when you were barely sixteen, and in the two years leading up to this day, you did your best to move on, building a life of your own without them. By now you were sure the trial would be the last time you have to recall the details of what happened, what those who killed your parents did to you, but now it seems like you have to talk about it a lot more to help the new prosecutor. 

“I know it’s hard. I read everything Morris had on your case, but we need to talk regularly so I can hear what happened from you, and I need to get you ready for the trial,” he says. 

Those warm brown eyes are watching you intently, as if he was analyzing your body language to make sure he always chose the right words when talking to you. He’s really trying to help you, so you can’t be mad at him for doing his job. With a sigh, you lean back and let your arm that’s been folded over your chest fall into your lap. 

“He already prepared me, I’m gonna be fine,” you tell him, hoping he would get the hint that you don’t want that. 

“I’m aware of that, but I need to get to know you better. I need to know what I can expect from you, so please, just trust me on this one. I know what happened to you, I know it must be hard to talk about those things again, but it’s necessary,” he explains kindly as he picks up a pen and focuses on that for a moment.

You take a deep breath as you lean back in the chair. “I won’t have to see Blake until the trial, right?” Seeing that son of a bitch is the last thing you want. Hotchner notices that you’re against it, so he shakes his head, assuring you that you’ll be kept away from him. “Alright, let’s do this. But I’m going to law school, we may have trouble scheduling meetings,” you point out. 

He nods. “It’s okay. We can meet in the evening if we have no other choice.”

“You know, I was already making bets with my friends about when you’ll die or hand over this case to someone else. Call me a pessimist.” 

There’s a faint smile on his lips when he hears this. “I won’t let that happen. Trust me, we’ll put an end to this. That's a promise I’m gonna keep,” he tells you. 

And you believe him. For the first time in two years you feel like everything would be alright in the end. 

[worfs-glorious-hair]

What Astarion had to say at Tav‘s and Gale‘s wedding…✨

Follow-up of this post about the utter BS that is the fact that the game heavily implies that Gale and Tav married without the tadpole crew. There’s just no way!

Gale x Druid!Tav (Unnamed, no pronouns); SFW; 1,9k words

The Wedding Speech

“You know it’s funny, a surprising majority of you people gathered here only know Tav as their hero in shining armor, who defeated every obstacle in their way, slain each and every one of your foes that you could not and rescued every stuck kitten from a tree that you asked them to.

You got a competent druid, fighting for the balance of life and nature and doing good for the sake of it and not for rewards, who was kind, generous and oh so selfless, you name it.

And the competent and patient druid had a wizard by their side, wherever they went, whenever you met them was he there, always suspiciously close to Tav — ‚the mighty wizard of Waterdeep’ who would still try to appear as the pompous archmage he once was, all powerful, very much full of himself and overall very wizard-y, all while he failed miserably at that as long as Tav was in any proximity to him.

Gale could try to pretend to be the stern academic as much as he liked, it could honestly be very entertaining, when it was not excruciatingly painful to watch, as if he would not incinerate anything at any given moment that dared to threaten Tav.

Which included me, once, to be honest, but this is not the matter of today.

The matter of today is that I know these two, who you call ‘heroes’, like you will never know them: I know them as pining idiots!

You should have seen them back during our days on the road what they were like when we made camp in the evenings after doing all of these good deeds and surviving all the fighting, when Tav’s diplomacy and reason had turned out to be eventually insufficient despite their noble and great efforts.

Our usual evening in camp went like that: We would find a spot to settle in, get rid of our armors and would try to find some peace of mind, eat whatever we could get our hands at for dinner and get some rest before the next day, wondering which new horrors would await us then. And if we were lucky we had found some wine on the road that did not taste like the cheapest vinegar. This is, at least, what it was like for us.

Now let me tell you what it was like for these two, the pining, love sick puppies whose company we got instead of the bubbly, confident druid and the powerful, effective wizard you lot had the privilege to experience.

Imagine the scene in our camps, how they danced around each other…

Tav would follow Gale around, offer him nearly every magical item we had ever found, no matter it’s worth, was practically glued to his side, offered to get water with him for our dinner and would stare at him with big, sparkling eyes when he just did – anything really. Be it as mundane for him as reading a book, cooking in the evenings or preparing and practicing new spells.

But Gale, poor oblivious and equally pining Gale, managed to miss all of it. Or most of it. He definitely missed what it meant.

His eyes were as equally big and sparkly as Tav’s whenever he looked at them.

He would ask them for their opinion on their favourite herbs and spices in our meals, which reminds me, Tav, how much peppermint and salt does one soup truly need?

He would go out of his way to cast mage hand every morning to help Tav put on their armor, would teach them shocking grasp and would carry ridiculous amounts of books around which all somehow were about druidic magic, druidic customs and probably covered questions like ‘what does it mean when my druid ‘friend’ and hero cuddles with me in their wolf shape by the fire under the stars and let me warm my hands and feet in their fur when they don’t do that with our fellow travelling companions?’

I am surprised that he managed to cook anything at that point and under these circumstances, which just proves my point further that this man is more than a decent chef.

I would trust no one more to create an actual edible meal out of old bread, some fish and some dried up cheese than Gale.

And then, at some point of our journey, did he began to ask us all very ‘hypothetical’ and poorly disguised questions about what his next best steps should be in pursuit of a ‘theoretical’ romance.

A romance that was as ‘theoretical’ as casting polymorph on a spectator and having it actually turn into a sheep.

Great move, by the way, Tav! Always an impressive spectacle when you do that.

Oh, and you certainly did not want to be near them when they flirted. And somehow they thought that the best place to do that was amidst the godsforsaken shadow-cursed lands!

It came to a point on which I wanted to break the curse even more than Halsin or Tav wanted it gone just so that we would not be attacked by the lurking shadows any longer, so that therefore we did not had to fight anymore, so that Tav and Gale could not exchange their after battle pleasantries anymore, which oddly included for some reason talking abut reading books and a terrifying look in their eyes that made me feel real fear for the first time in my life that they might get down and dirty right in front of me, right there on the battlefield.

Thankfully it never came to that. But I lived in fear of every shadow we’ve slain until they finally managed to resolve that tension.

Which was especially odd, since I believe that one of the Absolute’s disciples we met at Moonrise Towers was the one to thank for that turn of events. Or maybe not. It was probably just a matter of time anyways.

Because this insane druid here, who has this very annoying and very beautiful gift of seeing the best in people and believing in them before the people even consider doing that themselves and this odd, purple wizard with his eloquence, books and spells and his weirdly enticing charm belong together.

A match made in heaven – no – based on what we have seen from the gods, it is a so much mightier match made from nights under the stars, hands tangled in fur, forged by devotion and the willingness to sacrifice what could aid us in favor of your love not hurting anymore.

A bond stronger than Gale’s hubris and hunger for ambition and a delusional promise of unlimited power.

A love that flourished in a place of darkness and dread, amidst a curse that turned every living, breathing thing into a shadow made from despair and hopelessness – a love that bloomed when I wondered if we would ever see the sun again. When I was still asking myself if we would actually manage to get rid of the tadpoles and not die in the process.

But amidst it all, despite it all, were there the two of you and the kisses you shared, when you thought we couldn’t see you and the ones you didn’t care whether we saw them or not.

There were your giddy, stupid smiles and the light that returned to your eyes, Tav. Don’t think I didn’t notice how much you suffered from the curse, how much it affected you and how you put on your brave face to give us hope and strength to continue our journey.

I saw it but I was not able to help you, not like Gale could.

Your smile was finally real again when he was around and close to you. I saw how you reached for him, when we ventured into the darkest parts of the curse. And he was already there before you even turned around to him – and assured of his presence you strode forward, your steps powerful and bold. And your magic raged on like I had never seen it before, burning away the darkness and the shadows, cleansing everything on it’s way…

And Tav, you showed me kindness and patience when I did not deserve it throughout all of our journey, you put up with me and my antics and most importantly you accepted who I was, when I barely could do it for myself.

And you saved me, you saved my life more often than I can count, you even brought me back from death because you said that you would miss me and our friendship too much. You could have left me behind, but you didn’t.

And eventually you saved me from myself back in the city, when you faithfully, persistently and firm as rock stood by my side when I faced Cazador. When I dared to loose myself were you there to remind me that I was worthy of a life in the light of being so much more than what he tried to break me into.

And Gale, you showed me magic that I thought to be impossible for me to learn.

You showed me how to protect myself with magic.

And you were the one to pull me out of Cazador’s ritual bounds, you saved me just as much as your beloved did there deep down under the city.

Tav, Gale, I owe you my life!

Especially since the both of you came after me when I burned after the brain fell and the tadpoles were finally gone.

You led me to safety but not back into darkness and despair, no, how could it be ever be dark and lonely for me again, when you, Tav, wrapped me in their cloak while you, Gale, created a magical barrier that sunlight could not penetrate? When the two of you assured me that friends do not get left behind?

I could have, wanted to, succumb to shame that day but you would not let me…

Hey, you two, you better listen close because I may not manage to say it another time: Thank you for helping me all this time, it was very kind!

No, in all seriousness and my undying respect for you:

I am honoured to stand here today and tell the world that I have never before witnessed a love so true, so fated to be, than yours.

You two are here, we are here, today to celebrate that we are living. That we survived and won and most importantly that we are here today to stand witness to your bond…

A bond stronger than fate and darkness and and a tedious journey. A bond that connects you, holds you together, a bond that stretches across worlds, across lives. I am sure that you would find each other in every life. And I am convinced that the two of you are crazy enough and willing to do anything, even getting abducted by mind flayers again, just for a chance to find each other again and fall in love again in another life, if you had to.

So let us raise our glasses to the ones who I am very glad I haven’t killed. Instead I have the honour to call them friends. Family even.

To Tav and Gale, here’s to your love and everything you had to do to get to today…

The Gods know it was no small feat.

You’ve earned it, darlings, you’ve earned it all –and everything that is yet to come for you…”

Tell me honestly, how much in love with Tav and Gale sounds Astarion here?

[tapakah0]

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

[peterofthedrakes]

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT I DID THIS

okay so the context for this is that me and my friends have a Bad Anime Night where occasionally we get together and watch some Bad Anime. and in like??? early 2023 mayyyybe late 2022 we watched FAIRY RANMARU and it drove all of us UP THE FUCKING WALL. long story short if you have the patience for some nonsense i highly highly recommend giving it a try, if only because the show is so bonkers at points that watching it makes for a really fun group activity.

Anyways. the designs in the show are like. blatantly. so horny. which is fine and all nothing against that? but also most of the characters like. go to a highschool. which makes it feel Weird. so i thought id try my hand at redesigning them, to make them maybe Less Horny and also just as a fun challenge. I only ended up actually completing one of them, but.... maybe someday... i will return....

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

finished helluva boss and now i have Thoughts

[katzish]

pray for me at work today 🧿🧿🧿 got dropped down to 16 hours & boss wants to call right when i get in 🥰 i have no idea how much I‘m making/hour & if they don’t tell me or give me more attitude the plan is to quit on the spot >:3c you need me more than i need you ;)

[infizero]

im genuinely going to be INSUFFERABLE when chapters 3 and 4 come out like you have no idea.

[orcelito]

Ok I'm going to start rereading ITNL today

This is part of my journey for continuing my great big beast of a project

[kyouka-supremacy]

I don't get it, is the first season 5 episode going to premiere today at the Anime Expo?

[figgyblossom]

When u make a really plan for the next couple days before bed and go to sleep feeling accomplished and like maybe you're capable enough to get through the next few days in a relatively "successful" way and then your eyes open the next morning and it's like the breaking of the damn at isengard and a river of emotions and thoughts that you do Not have neither the time nor space to fight thru crash into your brain and once you finally get through the initial deluge and pull yourself from bed determined to regroup so your whole day is not lost or weighed down by the weigh of it all you make yourself a cup of coffee and go to sit in the fresh air of the outside to consume it and spill the entire mug on the ground because sometimes your wrist and fingers Just Don't Work

[cookinguptales]

today's mantra is "time spent healing is never wasted"

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol