#this is DEFINITELY a delete later thing
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I can't make text posts because when I'm upset I only speak like Shakespeare sorry
#delete later#im fucking exhausted taking care of people who dont even say thank you#ive been up for an hour and was immediately put to work#so delirious working with hazardous materials that a piece of rusty sheet metal stabbed me in the one eye that sees#so now im blind in one eye and everythings fuzzy in the right one#can i be funny and say i hope its permanent?#and of course *i* need to run errands and now thats not happening anymore#i have to tell every single person what to do#how to live their life#nobody can think for themselves anymore ffs#but when *i* ask what shirt i should wear its a fucking problem???#ive asked this person to go shopping with me about 20 times this year#ive left the house for fun maybe three times this year#who cares that wybie needs clothes and food and can only shop with someone because im in a FUCKING WHEELCHAIR#“just go on your own” im so fucking done#i need a modern age lobotomy because bro i dont wanna remember no more#someone please just put me down#this is DEFINITELY a delete later thing#i go back to work on Tuesday so bother me then i guess#if you need me ill be busy sobbing
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souyuri (again)
#might delete later dunno. or maybe just the second img#souyo yuri was driving me crazy today idk whay happened#souyo#souji seta#yu narukami#yosuke hanamura#p4#persona 4#persona#shuake mizuan joke only makes sense if you play prsk and persona. i apologize#also i swapped them because an matches joker more than akechi#cat’s art#shuake is so. ghhh like i want to shuake but i always feel like it has to be super cool and grandiose and stuff like that#but i don't feel cool enough IDK this is a silly ramble this will definitely be gone in a few days#ik comparing isn't always a good thing but i just feel silly putting my silly potential shuakes out there next to all the cool ones
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I wanna get around to doing some small story beats for the "Main Six Takes Manhattan" story. It'd be a good chance for me to play around with different art styles too.
I'm really excited about this story too because it'd be splitting everyone up into pairs for their own little arc.
Rarity attends a fashion showcase in upper Manhattan, with April-Jacqueline in tow as her "attendant." The two get swept up in industry drama as they uncover the abuse faced by amateur designer Carol Cho under the American fashion house "Polomare."
Pinkie and Thea head to Harlem for a rent party, hosted by Thea's city friends. Despite Thea's protestations, Pinkie can't help but be the life of the party as its tenants and musicians attempt to raise enough money to fight their landlords and demand housing justice.
Dash and Félicie navigate NYC's transportation system to go to a ball game: the New York Wonderbolts vs. the Washington Senators. While Dash meets her heroes, Félicie can't help but feel homesick and smothered by the big city.
#i have 3 major art projects going on at once tho rn#the au/ko crisis for a writing class/my storyboarding job#so things are slower going#delete later#personal#last story is def the weakest. i definitely wanna set up some solidarity between spitfire and dash (as colonized people)#i need to find a strong political/historical angle for that because each arc's theme is racial solidarity and allyship#rarity and carol represent chinese/korean solidarity (especially given both groups would become victims of imperialism during that era)#and pinkie and thea represent hispanic/black solidarity (with a specific focus on housing and redlining)
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what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time
#maybe i’m just saying BULLSHIT and i might delete later but. idk. just thought i’d say.#tell me what you think of this maybeee..#i randomly pulled this outta my ass so if it’s inaccurate to him i apologize to the more knowledgeable duck lovers#i do know it’s just a joke and it’s just making fun of him not knowing wtf he’s talking about . thinking death is some kind of award#but i think too hard sometimes#yeah. actually idk about what i wrote.#ANYWAY UMMM#another things that’s definitely not tru but what if in dhmis 5 duck actually expected to die but things were going wrong and it scared him#like oh nooo what if i never see this yellow dude again and that other tall one i can’t remember :(((#anyway you guys are wayyyyy better at analysis than me. but i almost never do it so bear with me while im learning#dhmis#☎️#don’t hug me i’m scared#duck#duck guy#duck dhmis#TRYING TO PUSH THE POST BUTTON IM SCARED
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big believer in rocky being an extremely angry person actually! so much of it is internalized and he very much channels it into specific things ( like wick, or more recently, marigold ) but this doesn’t negate the fact that he is angry and resentful. sometimes being mad is more than just punching people and threats of violence! sometimes it’s quiet seething and forced joy. sometimes awful things happen to you and you letting them happen doesn’t mean you won’t become angry about it. sometimes your anger is fear, and sometimes it’s another thing, and actually maybe it’s always coming from some other emotion but it feels like anger and that’s what sticks. and i’ll also just say that his head trauma won’t be helping him with any of these problems in the future either <3
#my posts.#lackadaisy#i’m exhausted from being out all day but had to lackadaisy post. whoops.#definitely might delete this later to word this better in the future!! though it’ll do for now#personally i can see rocky’s anger just fine in the comics and even in the pilot ngl#like. it is not a conventional kind of anger. but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very real thing rocky is feeling a lot of the time#idk!!! thinking and mulling#i just think at this point in rocky’s life he is so perpetually scared of losing what matters to him ( his place within the lackadaisy )#that he can very easily turn it into a sort of wrathful fire at anything he perceives as a threat#like. what will take my home ( which is mine and the people there tolerate me ) away from me?#it’s an obsessive sort of ‘i can’t let this happen again.’#and i think anger and fear are more tied together than most would think!!!#it’s just. rocky’s anger and freckle’s ‘anger’ is interesting to me. it really is.#as i said : thinking and mulling!!!
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consider: mad genius who's also a very kind and lonely old man
actually adores children and connects with them better than most people because they are both openly candid, creative and curious
struggles with the asexual conundrum of wanting a spouse and offspring but ultimately Sucking So Much Ass at building intimacy with another person he skipped that part altogether and mad scienced his way into a family
#talking to the wall#wd gaster#gaster#thats him right there alright#sighs. thinking of him#might delete later?#just in case i get embarrassed of saying words shfjdfhdj#definitely illustration material though#college has just been taking a real toll on me in regards to art ⚰️#cannot wait to draw his date attempts#they all pretty much boil down to that one family guy clip#who the fuck starts a conversation like that I Just Sat Down#this is a very important man.#a very important smart man.#a very important creepy; inappropriately honest; forward to a fault; impossibly and intimidatingly smart old man.#who may or may not have made a few visits to the mental hospital in order to make sure he's not a danger to himself in his manic spikes#if there is such thing in the underground#“ok pops timeout yeah? you're very on fire. literally.”
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TES fest day 8: free day
The first fic I ever finished and posted was The Blood of the Coven in 2016, which followed Anthelion through the Dark Brotherhood quest line in Oblivion.
I set a goal at the beginning to do at least one of these prompts, and somehow I actually managed to do them all! I had lots of fun and it was great to see everyone else's amazing art and writing as well :)
#yans art#anthelion#tesfest24#tes iv: oblivion#of course like. 8 years later there's a lot I would do differently with that fic now#it definitely shows its age. and what I personally was going thru at the time (which I have spoken about here a bit)#but I don't think I'll ever change it or take it down. maybe add like a 'deleted scenes' type thing since there's a lot i cut/didn't finish#but I also don't think I could write in that style again so who knows#also sorry it took me this long to figure out how to add alt text in an image
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heres an old comic i gave up on </3 it was a better idea in my head..
its a bit incomprehensible but basically i like the concept of villian eating the sidekick of their hero nemesis to lure them into a trap. But also. I think it would be funny/angsty if the hero didnt even bother saving them and just assumed the sidekick was a lost cause.
#comics suck the life out of me#but i really like having context for silly vore situations#definitely wasnt going to post this but idk i want to be more active#the book thing was stupid it makes it confusing :/ bro got bored and had to whip out some literature ig#the point is they were sitting there for a while#soft vore#safe vore#cloud's art#v.ore#v/ore#ehhhhh#might delete later teehee
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Anyone wanna be my Mary Jane? We can do the upside down kiss 🕷
#soooo i did a thing#my excuse is its healing my inner child and its just for halloween#but i fucking love it and will definitely be wearing it as much as humanly possible 😂#wlw#sapphic yearning#femme bait#might delete later#spiderman#spider woman#costume
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Note to self: never again let it slip to an irl person that I write whump
#told two of my classmates today#I’m exhausted so it just kinda slipped out#plus I assumed they’d be at least a little ok about it#given that they’re into fandom stuff#but no#they definitely thought I was some kind of freak#and I wasn’t about to try and defend myself#‘writing this stuff is a kind of therapy for me I promise I’m not sadistic or creepy!’#yeah that would’ve gone over wonderfully#*sighs*#figures that one of the only personal things I shared this whole semester gets this reaction#why do I even try#I never talk about myself#I let everyone else vent and tell me everything#and when I try to open up I screw myself#trin rambles#vent#ignore me I’ll be fine#it’s just a really yucky day today#I’m not in a great place mentally and that did nothing good for me#hopefully sleep will help#…if I manage to get any sleep that is#ugh#delete later
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Man i understand being annoyed at Americans in a general sense, especially when there’s some choice hypocrisy to yell about on this bitch of a website but it is frustrating seeing some of the posts drift by that are “””calling out”””” Americans for just. Reacting badly to a bad situation.
The internet was always a mistake in the sense that it allowed us to capture in realtime any messy reactions we have to anything, before anything like sense or logic have a chance to kick in. And it was more of a mistake when we learned to Process Via Posting.
But that really doesn’t change the fact that humans. when big bad shit hits us that we weren’t expecting for some god damned reason, we might spend some time feeling fucked up contradictory things and lash out about it a little. It’s not good but it really just is.
There’s shame and there’s anger and there’s guilt and indignation and hope and hopelessness and spite and despair. And i fucking get it when people see that and want to say “oh poor fucking baby let me play you the works smallest violin” but you really can’t expect us to thank you for that.
I’m angry. I’m sad. I went to work today and I had dinner and waived TV and I laughed at some god damn posts and then I had some other emotions and I’m still angry and sad and confused and anxious in ways I don’t understand yet.
I try to delete posts that I reblog and then realize are kinda Fucked because I want to be someone who doesn’t lash out but if the worst thing I’m doing when badly processing my emotions is reblogging a post with angry judgmental words, then fucking sue me.
#tag#I’m probably not deleting this one because really it’s not about telling anyone how to behave or feel bad about how they behaved#Like I will stand by my stance of ‘Jesus Christ it’s ok for people to feel bad about bad things happening’#And I will stand by my stance of ‘let people be messy about messy emotions’#so I Get it when my fellow Americans yell at my other fellow Americans for lashing out at their fellow Americans#but I don’t have a ton of patience right now for some of the non-US comments I’ve seen today#and none of them have been That Bad or I would have yelled directly about it#but boy am I gonna have my quiet opinions and then probably let them fade with time instead of letting them build resentment#because I have to put on my Big Citizen pants and act like the best version of myself eventually#not yet. definitely not yet.#but I owe some shit to Best Me for later#ok now that I’ve had 2 am rambles in the tag I’ll consider deleting this later lmao
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#i told my friend i would go to a con with her in december and paid for my portion already but i kept getting super depressed thinking about#going to the con#and i mainly said yes because she has bad social anxiety and i wanted to support her#but i went to a con with one of my other friends a while ago and i am totally out of it#mentally and emotionally when it comes to anything fandom related. exept anime con but that's because i like seeing ppls costumes.#it's like i am a ghost of myself.#also i have expenses that keep piling up and i was like 'even if i don't get the whole refund i would rather have the money than go#on a trip just to be miserable'#so i kept putting it off but then i was like 'well i need to tell her at least a month before or else that is going to be really bad'#so i told her last night that things came up and i couldn't go (things is work/needing to save my money). like i know i already paid for it#but my partner is having a hard time making rent and i am having a hard time keeping a job so...#and i haven't told her any of this i just said 'things came up'#so she was naturally quite upset with me and said she “didn't give a shit if [i] lose money” but would pay me back for the con tickets#and the flight#like... she has always been brutally honest and (maybe?) autistic-coded so i tried not to let it get to me. i totally get being upset#and i am somewhat bothered with myself that i even said yes in the first place & then went back on it/waited so long to decide#but also i didn't expect to be paying my partner's half of the rent for a few months sooo.....#yeah#at least i will get half back and then i don't have to worry about asking for time off if i get a secondary job soon which i definitely nee#vent#delete later#tw financial issues
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#I will probably delete this later#but I just need to get this off my mind#there’s a drastic sense of loneliness I feel thinking about when I joined the fandom in August 2021 to now#it’s lonely watching your friends slowly lose the interest in yr that we once had#and life gets busy#life is soooo different now then it was back then#and it also just makes me sad#definitely a two things can be true moment in my mind#but all of this to say if anyone does read this#this is an open invitation if you want to ever yell about yr s3 or Omar in my dms#because we’ll never get to experience this lead up period and content period ever again#and I want to make the most of it#💜
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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
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I just came across your post about vagueposting and I think I agree with it, but the situation you most likely wrote it about is hardly a "vagueposting" because you could say who it was about after reading it literally one time and that person got jumped and insulted in the anon ask anyway so discussing it in person could be safer...
I'm reeeally sorry for bring up a past situation, but I don't think it's a good idea to write nasty things about another person and specific details about how they interact with the fandom and their post, say things that will help to easily identify a person and at the same time insult them or say how you think they feel about the characters or the story based on your feelings about their one take that you didn't like and then call it's "vague" because there is no name in the post. I mean, It can lead to bad consequences, it literally did in that situation.
And yes, I do think people have the right to discuss bad takes or takes they don't like, but there's a way to do it without giving away every detail about the post and the person who wrote it so everyone knows who you're talking about, and if you're not good at being vague, just discuss it in a private chat.
this ask is old but i was busy last week, so forgive me for the late response. i was debating answering it at all, but i dont want myself to be misunderstood, so just. to clarify under the cut.
i'll agree with you that the post/situation in question wasn't vagueing. now, i don't know exactly the difference between the number of followers i have and the number of followers that the blogger in question has, and when it comes to the number of active dsmp followers i think both of us have even less of a clue. that being said, both of us frequent much of the same circles, so i think it's fair to say that many of my posts will end up being exposed to a very similar audience to his, and so therefore this response about the situation you're talking about will be just about as clearly traceable to a specific person as the post he made that started the situation in question. just as a general observation.
if i'm understanding your ask correctly, while vagueing a take is fine, the vague shouldn't be clearly identifiable if you're going to speak badly about it or disagree heavily. to which i have to ask what, specifically, is defined as clearly identifiable? i think most takes in this fandom can be pretty easily traced to a person, even if that person is not the only person that believes in that take--just as an example, c!tommy as a butterfly pinned behind glass was a take in response to the c!sam and c!dream stream after techno escaped, and grew to be a pretty prominent theme to the point of a zine being modeled after it, but i can also trace it to a pretty specific tumblr post with a name attached. i also think that that same statement probably isn't true for many fans who maybe joined later on in the fandom. i mean, i'm aware that i'm being pedantic here, i'm aware that the situation in question created conflict specifically due to it being within dreblr and in a space where multiple people would've seen both posts and felt ensuing awkwardness bc they know both people either on a personal or acquaintance level, but i mean the same applied ages ago whenever strategist-interpretation and trauma-interpretation c!dream apologists felt like going at it again on the dash.
in this scenario specifically, what made the situation clearly identifiable was the nature of the take that was being discussed. the main identifying detail was the take that the asker was asked about, imo, and i mean ... yeah i mean. most takes that haven't blown up pretty heavily do end up being tied to one or two people? i mean, staged finale is a take that can be tied to three people who argued in favor of it the most before the rest of dreblr got on board only in late 2021. i simply don't think that a take that maybe only one person has argued for (which, i dont remember the statistics of the take in this situation, so i dont remember how many notes it had or how many people in total may have expressed public agreement towards it, honestly) is exempt from discussion when it is posted in a meta or analysis space as an analytical piece, which i do think applies to this take from what i remember about it and how it was tagged.
and back to the discussion of what's acceptable as far as directly responding versus vagueing, i mean, a lot of the discussion i've had on my blog (abt discourse etiquette in General in meta spaces on dreblr moreso than this specific situation, largely bc i did want to avoid commenting on a situation that 1) i really had no business in and 2) i have reason to be biased about. the main reason why i'm talking abt it now is bc hopefully enough time has passed for feelings to be less fraught and bc i want to make certain thoughts of mine clear, in case they weren't clear enough in my original posts abt dreblr and whatever) revolves around both direct responses and vagueing having their reasons as well as pros and cons, and both will likely continue to exist in analysis spaces and generally i don't think it's productive to really comment on what people can or can't do on their own blogs. in this scenario, i don't think "vagueing about one specific person in a way that may be clearly identifiable to parts of their audience" is uniquely unacceptable? a direct response very clearly would make the person in question identifiable -- outside of how it's kind of impossible to make a post vagueing someone in a way where No One has Any Idea who you might be talking about without making the post like, incoherent inherently, if vagueing (not identifiable) is okay and directly responding (identifiable) is okay, then why is vagueing (identifiable) not okay?
now, i understand that any situation where the person in question might be identifiable, some people may take the open disagreement as permission to harass them. and obviously, harassment sucks. part of the whole point of opening up this conversation on my blog was bc i worry, with the way that a single conflict between dsmp opinions has kind of rippled through dreblr recently and the responses to this "situation," that an environment is being created with too much of a forced global consensus that punishes people for stepping out of the status quo in both opinions and behavior, which is obviously bad for the whole community, and was looking to voice some of that and have a conversation on solutions. and i understand that in this situation, a lot of your problem with the blogger has to do with his general attitude in discussing the take and his statements on the person who made it. now, i think you have every right to find his statements offensive and disagreeable and to unfollow and/or block him. that being said, i am not exactly a PR agent, and i want to reiterate that what people do on their own blogs isn't my business and i don't think it should be my business. or uh, anyone's business, for that matter. i don't think that everyone "in dreblr" is beholden to keeping to a certain person's standard for "acceptable" disagreement and "acceptable" sharing of their own opinions on their own blog as long as they're not inciting harassment, which entails, like, actively encouraging harm to happen yk. i mean, you can think that the blogger was being rude or an asshole and prefer to never see him again, that's fine. that's your prerogative. but i mean, i'm not gonna tell the guy how to interact with the fandom on his own blog, haha.
to be clear, im not telling you what you can or can't do on your own blog either. if you wanna make a post about how his posts contain harmful rhetoric, how he's an idiot, or how he's rude bc you disagree with his public posts on this situation or on the dsmp as a whole, i mean, i'm not gonna handwring over it and tell you that you're not allowed to do that. it's none of my business, and i like to think i'm not that hypocritical. and honestly, i think that in a space where we're talking about analysis, commenting on harmful rhetoric happens often and should happen often when it happens -- literally anyone can make an analysis post that has harmful rhetoric, and sure it's fiction and no one has to answer to the analysis police for making a bad analysis post, but i've also been in this space and seen enough truly mind-boggling amounts of parroting takes about torture that make people sound like CIA psyops to go "well saying that someone's analysis post contains harmful rhetoric is really rude" pfft. again, i'm not saying i'm immune to hypocrisy, but i've certainly malded enough times in public about the shit people have said in this fandom to take issue with that. now, getting a little less into the strictly-analysis side of things, i understand that insults like calling someone an idiot may not sit right with everyone, to which i say. block to your heart's content. but c'mon man i've called people idiots before i'm no saint 😭😅
anyway. i hope this clarified some things, anon. take issue with whatever and whoever you like, honestly, whether that's me, the person that i just not-vagued for the last however many words, etc etc -- again, your prerogative. and i agree, it's a shame the situation devolved into stuff like insults in both bloggers' inboxes when it really didn't have to be like that like. at all.
#disk horse#tw discourse#tw negativity#my asks !!#i dont mean to cause offense but i do think it's important to clarify in case my original posts were unclear#i dont think there's any amount of group tone policing anyone's blog and deciding what people on dreblr can or can't post#when said posts aren't you know actively harassing someone else and encouraging harm#that's like. productive. or good at all for the health of this community#hence why i've emphasized the idea encouraging disagreement in healthy ways so much#now would i have approached the conflict the same way as this blogger? i mean no. but we're not the same people#and we both do things for our own reasons. his blog isn't my turf and isn't where i'm setting my rules#and it would be a massive level of overstepping for me to try and do that? and you know. controlling and rude etc#further vagueing re: personal conflict is quite different from vagueing re: analytical conflict#and i understand that some people might take the insults as too personal to be within an analytical environment but again#i think it's absolutely fair to draw that line for yourself and block whoever you think is being unacceptably rude#but im sure as hell not gonna go up to him and say that it's my right to decide for him how 'rude' he is or isnt allowed to be on his blog#the two bloggers in question in this situation weren't exactly friends and the vagueing was with respect to the person's analysis#not vagueing them for being a Bad Person or Bad Friend or whatever#but anyway. i hate to comment on this honestly so i might delete later#and this is definitely the last i have to say on this specific situation
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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