#it’s just. rocky’s anger and freckle’s ‘anger’ is interesting to me. it really is.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
big believer in rocky being an extremely angry person actually! so much of it is internalized and he very much channels it into specific things ( like wick, or more recently, marigold ) but this doesn’t negate the fact that he is angry and resentful. sometimes being mad is more than just punching people and threats of violence! sometimes it’s quiet seething and forced joy. sometimes awful things happen to you and you letting them happen doesn’t mean you won’t become angry about it. sometimes your anger is fear, and sometimes it’s another thing, and actually maybe it’s always coming from some other emotion but it feels like anger and that’s what sticks. and i’ll also just say that his head trauma won’t be helping him with any of these problems in the future either <3
#my posts.#lackadaisy#i’m exhausted from being out all day but had to lackadaisy post. whoops.#definitely might delete this later to word this better in the future!! though it’ll do for now#personally i can see rocky’s anger just fine in the comics and even in the pilot ngl#like. it is not a conventional kind of anger. but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very real thing rocky is feeling a lot of the time#idk!!! thinking and mulling#i just think at this point in rocky’s life he is so perpetually scared of losing what matters to him ( his place within the lackadaisy )#that he can very easily turn it into a sort of wrathful fire at anything he perceives as a threat#like. what will take my home ( which is mine and the people there tolerate me ) away from me?#it’s an obsessive sort of ‘i can’t let this happen again.’#and i think anger and fear are more tied together than most would think!!!#it’s just. rocky’s anger and freckle’s ‘anger’ is interesting to me. it really is.#as i said : thinking and mulling!!!
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Paid By the Heart
Bakudeku, A!Bakugou/O!quirkless Midoriya. Growing up Midoriya was picked on and bullied, harassed by the other sexes. In desperation he turns to the only Alpha he knows, begging for help. They reach a deal for the little Omega to use the Alpha's scent to keep the other's at bay... but was that really a good idea? Intermingling their scents for years had a consequence that left them only one option.
The life of a quirkless person in their world was a sad one, but couple that with being a small Omega; double whammy. Ever since that fateful doctors visit informing his mother, he’d never have a quirk, Midoriya Izuku was shunned at school, even bullied for being a small, gangly nerd. He was easy pickings and there was nothing he could do about it.
By the time he’d hit middle school, life was a lonely existence for the young man. His solace was in books or chronicling the exploits of his favorite hero All Might. For outside of that little bubble, pain and frustration was the norm. If only he’d been born an Alpha or at least a Beta, maybe then he’d gain a small measure of respect, quirkless or not. But no, the universe decided, he was to be an Omega, the lowest of the ranks. Could things get any worse?
The answer was yes. When he wasn’t being bullied, he was being harassed. Horny teen Alpha’s really were a bane of his existence. This lot didn’t care who or what he was, only interested in the scent he gave off. At least going into heat was still a few years away, because that could lead to bigger problems.
Sometimes things got so bad in school, Midoriya would hide in teachers classes or the nurses room until finally one called his mother about it and she promptly put him on scent inhibitors. He’d been too embarrassed to tell her what was going on. At least now he gained a small reprieve, but that didn’t stop the bullying. What could he do?
Midoriya racked his brain to come up with a solution, including quitting school altogether. Not ideal, no, considering learning was one of the few things he actually did enjoy. That’s when he realized, if only he had someone to protect him. Like a bodyguard. But who would be willing to help a small omega? He didn’t have any real friends that were Alpha’s or at least bigger Omega’s. Though he did know one Alpha…
Nah, Bakugou would never willingly help him. Despite growing up around each other, once he was deemed quirkless, the boy shunned him completely. They were complete opposites in personality; him being shy and Bakugou a bastion of anger.
No one dared to mess with Bakugou Katsuki, least get an explosion to the face.
But desperate times, called for desperate measures and Midoriya was tired of the split lips, black eyes, or torn clothing. He didn’t want to be shoved and messed with anymore and the one Alpha, despite their rocky relationship, who didn’t pick on him physically, was Bakugou. So, one day after school and a particularly egregious fight, Midoriya waited at the foot of the staircase of their apartment building. He lived on one floor and the blonde Alpha lived on another. As he waited, thoughts of what he should say worked their way through this analytical mind.
The man wasn’t going to do this willingly, that was a given. Bakugou’s main focus in life has always been power. To get to the top someday as a hero like their idol All Might. Maybe that’s a potential answer, play to the man’s desire to protect. Frankly, Midoriya wasn’t sure if it would work, but he had an alternative. He’ll pay the man to be his bodyguard. Not that he could afford much, but if it took getting a part time job or something, it beat getting assaulted.
He stands up from the step the moment he smells the Alpha coming. ‘Breathe, Izuku, stay calm…’
“Outta my way nerd!”
Midoriya swallows hard, fidgeting with his fingers nervously. “K-Kacchan, I need to talk to you— ask you a-about something.”
“The answer’s no.” The man starts to push past the smaller male. But Midoriya grabs his arm to stop him. He whips around, grabbing the hand on his arm and throwing it off. “Do you have a death wish?!”
“Please, Kacchan!” Midoriya grovels with tears streaming down his cheeks. “I can’t take all the bullying anymore.”
Bakugou narrows his eyes. “Nothing I can help you with nerd, now get out of my way before I do hurt you.”
Midoriya drops to his knees with his head hung down. “Kacchan…” He looks up now with sullen eyes, sad and forlorn. “I-I—will you please protect me?!”
“Argh!!!” Bakugou growls. This stupid Omegas scent was filled with such desperation it was rattling his senses! “Deku what the fuck makes you think I’d help you?!”
His shoulders slump further. “I know you have no incentive to help me. I’m just a worthless quirkless Omega. But I’m desperate Kacchan. I have no one else to turn to and I’m willing to pay with whatever I can afford.”
“I don’t want your money idiot.”
“Please! I’ll do anything!”
Fuck!! No matter how much the little freckle-faced mouse irritated him, he could never lash out except with words. Bakugou knew exactly why the man was so desperate, saw him picked on by the other sexes. The fresh cut above the man’s eye and torn shirt was evidence enough, but laying a hand on Midoriya, he just couldn’t do it. Plus, he believed his mother would kill him.
“Ugh!” He groans and snaps. “Fine! But you are gonna pay somehow. You’ll cover my lunches at school for starters and… I don’t fucking know, but I’ll think of something. So, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Oh, thank you Kacchan!” In his elation, Midoriya jumps onto and hugs the larger male, snuggling his face into the man’s neck.
A flush of heat colors Bakugou’s cheeks. “Oi! Oi!” He peels the man off. “Get the fuck off me nerd!” Too close! Too close! Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Midoriya’s earthy scent pleased his inner Alpha and in his happiness that scent exploded.
“S-Sorry, Sorry!” He bows and takes a step back. “Thank you, you saved my life Kacchan.”
“I still don’t know what the fuck you want.” He crosses his arms. “I ain’t just gonna beat people up for you unless I really need to.”
Midoriya’s eyes widen and he waves his hands, “no, I wouldn’t ask you to! I hope that just being around you, or,” his face heats up, “like your presence and scent on me will deter them. And eventually they’ll just stay away out of fear.”
Unlike a lot of the Alphas their age, Bakugou had no desire to engage in primally driven acts. In fact, those types pissed him off too. Just mindless idiots as far as he was concerned. He wasn’t about to let stupid mating instincts distract him from his goals. “So basically, a fake relationship?” His lack of giving a damn about such trivial matters made it easy for him not to care. “As long as I don’t gotta be affectionate and shit.”
“R-Right!” Just the thought of intimacy made Midoriya bloom red. “Yes, nothing like that. Just the illusion of being your property.”
“Ha! I kinda like the sound of that!” Bakugou finally smiles, though more like an evil smirk. “You’ll be my bitch from now on!”
And so that’s how it was for the next few years. Each morning before school, the Omega would swipe a bit of sweat off the Alpha and rubbed it on himself. With the man’s scent on him, all the other Alphas and bullies stayed clear. They never eluded to any relationship, barely even hung out together, but everyone was too afraid to question it. Midoriya quietly went through the school days and for the first time in a very long time, he could finally relax. Even though his life was still lonely.
Once they finished middle school, Bakugou moved on to the prestigious UA Academy for pro heroes in training, while Deku managed to get into their Support program. Turns out his passion for learning and analytics was a skill he could trade on. Since they’d be at the same school, they could keep up the same rouse. Not that Bakugou seemed to care. Though the trade off for his part of the deal had perks with the Omega still footing any request he made.
Things continued unabated for the first two years of high school and Bakugou didn’t pay attention to the subtle changes taking place. Midoriya still dutifully came for his scent every morning before class. The Omega continued to pay for his services. But he failed to notice a change in the Omega’s scent. Where once the smaller male reeked of sadness, now there were hints of elation. The man smiled brighter and even had a bounce to his step. Midoriya was blossoming in the Support program. He had friends to call his own and Bakugou couldn’t be more thrilled the guy wasn’t trying to hang around him anymore.
It wasn’t until the third year was halfway through when the changes became glaringly noticeable. Midoriya continued to pay, but gathering his scent had grown from sporadic to nonexistent. Perhaps he wasn’t in need of Bakugou’s help anymore? No one was bullying him, on the contrary, the Omega was a top student in his program who’d gained the respect of his peers.
Bakugou corners the man outside one day between the dorm buildings. “Oi, Deku, what’s the deal? You don’t need me anymore?” He refused to admit it bothered him to not be needed.
“What do you mean?”
“You keep paying me, but never come for my scent.”
“Oh… well, you see, now that I’ve found my place here, it’s, um, hurting my reputation that I smell like an Alpha. I still pay because I do appreciate everything you did for me Kaachan.”
“What the fuck? You getting all horny now, looking for action but nobody giving you that kind of attention?”
“What?! N-No!” He waves his hands desperate to wipe the statement away. “That’s not it, I’m not looking for that! I’m even on Heat blockers. It’s just, the Alpha’s they treat me differently. They’ll talk to me like they respect me but always at an arms distance and it’s frustrating. Even after a few months without your scent on me, they still keep a distance.”
It was driving Midoriya crazy! So, he started to question, what will happen when he does want to be courted by an Alpha?! What helped in his youth now backfired and the plans were blowing up in his face. The reputation of Bakugou having staked his claim years ago on the Omega would make finding a partner almost impossible unless he could find a way to distance himself. Who in their right mind would dare touch the Lord of Explosions chosen mate?!
“I hope once we graduate and go our separate ways, people will finally realize we’re not together.” Midoriya was sure that once the blonde settled into pro hero life, he’d start dating as well, and that’ll take the heat of his back.
“Tch, well I’m not a charity case, so stop paying me if you ain’t getting a benefit out of it. Guess that’s it.” Bakugou’s turns his back to the man and starts walking away. He tips two fingers, “see ya around nerd!”
Huh? Well that went easier than he’d expected it to. All this time avoiding the conversation only for Bakugou to have no real reaction. Guess this really was just a business transaction for the Alpha. Midoriya shrugs, so be it, and continues on his way.
Unfortunately, things weren’t all that it appeared to be for the Alpha. After walking away from the Omega, a dull pain centered in his chest making it a little hard to breathe. But not wanting to show weakness, Bakugou ignored it and continued to strut back to his dorm room. Perhaps he’d overexerted himself again in the gym.
It’s a pain that started a couple of months ago that came and went, that he equated as simply working too hard. His muscles are still adjusting to the heavy schoolwork on top of the skirmishes the students got pulled into. That had to be the answer, for what else could it be? But after a week of the pain not letting up, Bakugou finally relented and consulted the nurse.
“Well,” the nurse, Recovery Girl sits back on her stool. “Don’t know what to tell ya, cause they ain’t nothin physically wrong with you that I can find. But if you think it’s muscle related, ease up on your workouts and take magnesium supplements.”
“The fuck you sayin old hag?! I can’t stop exercising. My quirk demands a topnotch body!”
She shrugs her shoulders, used to the hotheaded Alpha by now. “Then just learn to live with the pain. It’s not uncommon from pro heroes to suffer from pain, especially those with strong quirks like you have. You’re kinda young, but with how hard you push yourself, it’s inevitable.”
“Argh!” Bakugou storms out of the room. Fucking useless old bat! Two months away from graduation and being told he’s already developing, what, an old person’s problem?! “Fucking hell!” This is bullshit!
He flies it out of the room so quickly, that when he rounds a corner in the hallway, runs smack into a body. “Get the fuck outta my way!!”
“Kacchan?! Oh my god, sorry I didn’t see you coming!”
The world stops cold. “Deku…” suddenly the pain in his chest lessens as the calming scent of the concerned Omega wraps around his body. Bakugou’s eyes flash wide. “Oh, fuck no!” Quick like a bolt of lightning, the Alpha races away leaving the shocked and confused Omega standing there alone calling after him. Bakugou grits his teeth as he beelines it back to his dorm room. ‘It’s just a coincidence!’
“What was that all about?” Midoriya mumbles under his breath. It was the first time he’s seen the Alpha look, scared? No way, the Omega dismisses the notion. Bakugou wasn’t afraid of anything. He must have just been surprised to see him.
He continues on to the lab where he’s close to finishing a new project. The Alpha, Shouto Todoroki, requested a better cooling material for his suit. The pro needed something that insulated the cold from his quirk for a longer lasting effect. That way Hellfire would also be more sustainable.
It was a major nod to the Omega considering the man was up and up against Bakugou in terms of power. Currently, they were the top two pro students and Alpha’s of UA. Plus, Todoroki was not only cute but the complete opposite of Bakugou in personality. He was always kind to the Omega. Not that anything was going on between them! But the minor attention was exactly what triggered him to back away from his old friend.
From that moment in the hallway on, every time Midoriya came into contact with Bakugou, the Alpha turned heel and avoided any interactions. He couldn’t lie that it didn’t hurt just a little. They’d never been the closest friends, but it was as if the blonde was angry with him and that bothered him because he couldn’t understand why? But he also wasn’t gutsy enough to question the man either. Did turning down his scent hurt Bakugou’s pride or ego? Frankly, that would not be surprising.
The day of their graduation was a whirlwind of activity. The stadium packed just like the Sport event; even a similar turn out. Family and friends were there to celebrate, pro’s and companies were there to recruit. First the Support class, then the General studies, and lastly the Heroes courses all went up and received their diplomas. After the ceremony, the students were sent to designated spots to meet with their families and friends first. From there they could venture around to see other people.
“Thanks mom,” Midoriya hugs the crying woman for the umpteenth time that afternoon.
“I’m just so proud of you son!”
A tap on his shoulder cuts into the tender moment. “Forgive me for intruding Mrs. Midoriya. My father would like to meet your son.”
The pair’s eyes widen as the Number One hero stood in front of them. He was such an imposing figure!
“N-Nice to meet you Mr. Endeavor!” Midoriya bows.
“My son tells me you were able to create a better suit for him.”
Midoriya looks to his friend then back to the man. “Yes, sir I did.”
“Good. Perhaps you’ll be very useful in the future.” Endeavor nods his head and simply walks away without another word.
“D-Did he just?!”
“My father would like me to bring you by the agency next week for an interview.”
“Oh, wow really?!”
“Yes,” Todoroki chuckles.
“I’ll leave you two to discuss things,” Mrs. Midoriya cuts in. “It was nice to meet you Todoroki.”
After the goodbyes, the two men continue discussing the interview. Things like what he should bring, how he should dress, and what time to arrive. Midoriya had assumed Endeavor contracted out support work, but it turns out they have in-house staff.
“There is one last thing I would like to discuss.” The Alpha takes hold of the Omegas hand. “You see I’ve grown quite fond of you,” he leans down, sniffing at the scent gland of the smaller males neck. “Your scent…” his voice grows soft like a purr, “I wish to court you properly Midoriya Izuku.”
“W-What?”
“WHAT!?!!”
The feral growl behind him causes Midoriya to flinch. Before he can register just what the hell was going on, he was pushed back and a second Alpha stood between him and Todoroki.
“K-Kacchan?!” He grabs the man’s arm. “Kacchan what are you doing?!”
But the larger male simply grabs hold of him and pushes him back again, all while staring down the other Alpha.
“This mouse is taken,” Bakugou growls low and narrows his eyes, challenging Todoroki.
Todoroki glares back unflinching. “You don’t care about him, only took his money for protection. That doesn’t make him yours Katsuki.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!”
“You don’t,” the man grins. “Three years I watched from a distance. How he’d sneak into the dorms in the morning, pay for your lunch in the cafeteria, and for what? We could smell you on him yet not once did you two ever hang out with each other.”
“S-So what! That doesn’t mean I don’t care about him! I took the protector role to fucking protect him!”
Todoroki scoffs, “I bided my time and once the daily visits ended, I started making my move. Not once did you ever stop us because you ran away from him! Stupid fool, how dare you decide to claim him now!”
Bakugou lowers his head just slightly, fists clench, and tiny explosions going off in his palms. “Fucking icyhot bastard. You don’t know what I’m feeling. Think I don’t know I fucked up when I shoulda faced the music sooner.” He stares straight up. “But I do know now, Deku’s mine! Hear me?! Mine!! And I am not fucking giving up my mate to you or any other bastard!”
The blonde pulls Midoriya forward, hands gripped to his arms. “Tell him Deku! Tell him you’re mine!”
“But am I? You’ve never shown any interest in me before Kacchan. Todoroki has helped me so much and now because of him, I’ll be interviewing for Endeavors support staff. Yes, your scent protected me from bullies, but I thought it was always just a business transaction.”
“N-no!” Bakugou staggers back clutching to his chest as the pain swiftly doubles. This can’t be happening! “You can’t pick him over me Deku!” The sting of rejection was worse than a villain breaking every bone in his body. He cries out and drops to the ground in a fetal position as the pain rips through his chest and knocks the wind out of him. “Fuck it hurts!” It was too excruciating, so much so, his body was slipping out of consciousness in response.
“Kacchan?!” Midoriya falls to his knees too and grabs the man, shaking him. “Kacchan, what’s wrong with you?!” He felt helpless as the man’s eyes rolled back in his head.
“Wow Katsuki… you really do love Midoriya.”
The Omega looks up at Todoroki. “How do you know that?!”
Todoroki points at Bakugou. “If an Alpha covets an Omega but is rebuffed, they are stricken with illness. It only happens when we truly love someone.”
“S-So if I turn you down, you’ll get sick too?!” Why is this whole love stuff so cruel?! This was not what he’d expected to happen! Tears gather in his eyes. “That wasn’t part of the plan. I-I just wanted to know what he really thought about me.”
“Fret not,” Todoroki smiles at him. “You’re cute, but I’m not in love with you. But now that you have your answer, my role is done. I’ll see you at the interview next week,” he winks and walks away to find his girlfriend.
“O-Okay, thank you Todoroki!” Midoriya turns back to the comatose man by his side and continues shaking him. “Kacchan! Please wake up! I’m here! I’m not going anywhere! Just wake up!”
A small crowd gathered around them, but he didn’t care, too concerned with Bakugou’s condition. Had he known an Alpha could suffer like this, he never would have attempted this little rouse. Todoroki was the one who suggested it, but neither of them could have known the blonde had fallen so deeply in love.
With the help of Bakugou’s teacher, Shota Aizawa and another staff member who came on the scene, they take the unconscious Alpha to the infirmary. They place him on one of the beds where Recover Girl checks him over. The man was out cold, but his vitals were steady.
Midoriya takes a seat by the bedside, clutching to his friends hand. It’s been an hour since they’d arrived and according to the nurse, it was now a waiting game. “Please,” the Omega squeezes the Alpha’s hand, “come back to me Kacchan…” He closes his eyes to rest them, laying his head against the man’s arm. He was so emotionally exhausted from the ordeal of the day, but he’s not moving until the man wakes up. Six years and never once he allowed himself to hope, until now.
“Mmmm,” Midoriya stirs at the feeling of fingers treading softly through his hair. “That feels so nice,” he purrs to the familiar scent of burnt sugar he’d come to know so well. It wrapped around, calming, calling the Omega out of his dream.
Wait! Burnt sugar?! He pops up immediately, “Kacchan?!” Scrambling onto the bed and swaddling the Alpha. “I was so worried,” Midoriya buries his face in the man’s neck. “Why didn’t you just tell me?!” He sniffles.
Bakugou wraps his arms around the man, leaning his head against his and relishing in the contented tones exuding from the Omega’s scent. “I’m up now, so stop crying Deku.” He sighs, “and I didn’t tell you cause I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.”
“Yes,” he lifts Midoriya’s face, fixing his eyes in a stare, “I am. All because I didn’t want to admit I was weak for you.”
“So, you really mean it? That you want me to be your mate even though I’m quirkless?”
“Did I fucking stutter? But guess what Deku?”
“What?”
The Alpha kisses him roughly, nipping his lip before pulling away, “I’m claiming my final payment.”
“Oh!” Midoriya giggles, “what’s the payment?”
“You.”
~~~XX~~~
Just because they finally figured things out, didn’t mean either of them wanted to rush into a relationship. It was simply satisfying to know they wanted to be with each other. And for that reason, Midoriya continued to use heat blockers as a birth control, just like he’d done for the last several years.
The Omega respected the fact Bakugou focused on having a good career in the pro hero world. His ambitions to reach the top given a whole new incentive in order to provide for a family one day. But the Alpha was proud of his betrothed’s advances as well. After high school, the up and coming Support technician proved his worth for the Endeavor agency while he himself worked as a side kick to the head man himself.
Bakugou dreamed of one day owning his own agency, but until then, he pushed himself hard under the constant tutelage of the number one hero. They were both paid well at their jobs, and continued to maintain separate homes… for now. The blondes excuse being he would court Midoriya properly this time around.
Except when it came to sex. That part of their relationship was consummated two nights after graduation. In a protected knotting, they marked each other and staked their claims for all to see. Bakugou had been pleasantly surprised to find the shy, docile man was quite rambunctious in bed. But contrary to popular belief, it was closer to a vanilla encounter.
Both of them had been too excited and also nervous being a first time for either of them. Having been Midoriya’s protector for so long, the Alpha was almost terrified of hurting the smaller Omega and it took gentle coaxing to allay those fears. But in the end they’d been left satisfied and fully affirmed in their decision to spend the rest of their lives together.
Once the workload kicked in, any free time they had were spent together at one or the others apartment. Bakugou would take Midoriya out on dates, to dinners, movies, or anywhere the man fancied though it was rarely a lavish affair. The Omega preferred the quieter moments such as lounging on the couch and cuddling during a movie.
This went on for two years as the Alpha slowly built up a savings. He knew it would be several years before he could buy a bigger house, but soon enough he was ready to afford a 2 bedroom apartment in a nice area of town. So, he made up an excuse to stay with Midoriya while he moved into the new place, furnished, and prepared it to accept a mate.
“Perfect!” The blonde stands with his hands on his hips admiring his handiwork. Everything his Omega will need was purchased and set up in what will be their new nest. He’d spared no expense on a top of the line, plush, memory foam bedding. Extra blankets, pillows, you name it, Bakugou bought it. And last but not least, he scented all the fabrics with his musk. All that remained was surprising Midoriya.
He timed the reveal for the last week of the month, explaining his apartment was ready again and he wanted Midoriya to see the changes.
“Where are we going? This isn’t the direction of your place.”
“It’s the direction to my new place.”
“Kacchan, you moved apartments without telling me?”
He kisses the back of the Omegas hand, “well a surprise isn’t a surprise if I told you about it.”
When the elevator opens, Bakugou leads him to one of the apartments. He opens the door and gestures for the man to enter. “Welcome to your new home Izuku.”
“Huh? My, but I have an apartment…” the Omega gasps when he turns and finds his Alpha on one knee. “K-Kacchan,” his hands fly up in shock and face lights up.
“It’s time to officially cash in my payment chip,” the blonde grins, holding up a ring. “Izuku Midoriya, will you be my life mate?”
Moisture instantly builds in the Omegas eyes, “yes! Yes!” His hands shaky as the Alpha slips the ring onto his finger.
Bakugou gets to his feet and kisses the man slow and steady. He takes Midoriya’s hand. “There’s one thing I really wanna show you, then we’ll go pack up your apartment.”
“Oh my goodness!” The omega squeals at the site of his beautiful new nest and throws himself onto his Alpha, hugging and kissing the man. “Kacchan, you spoil me!”
“You deserve to be spoiled,” he smiles back. “Test it out.”
Midoriya dives onto the bed and bundles the blankets to his nose. It smelled like Bakugou! He closes his eyes with a moan, taking it all in and burying his face into the fabric. The Alpha laughs at how childlike his mate was behaving, but that was Midoriya for you. Just a ray of sunshine who wore his emotions on his sleeve.
While the Omega relishes in his new surroundings, Bakugou just stands back in admiration. To the outside world the pro Alpha hero was a temperamental hothead who took shit from no one. But those in the know, knew Midoriya had him wrapped around his finger.
The Omega never took advantage or made it feel like an obligation. Bakugou just came to realize he could be himself with the man. No keeping secrets or holding back. Their long history delving back almost two decades meant Midoriya knew him well and he Midoriya. This little mouse could calm him down without his Omega pheromones. But boy does those scents drive him wild too!
Just picturing his freckle faced cherub cuddled in his arms with a child between them sent a delectable shiver racing straight to his groin. Bakugou chuckles in his head, probably why the man was smart enough to stay on the birth control, because he knew without it they’d have already started a family before they were ready.
“Join me— Kacchan!” Hands reach out, beckoning him to the bed.
The Alpha grins and plops down close, pulling the Omega to him. He kisses Midoriya’s forehead. “I take it you’re happy?”
“Of course!” The man nestles deeper into his Alphas arms, resting his head against his chest. “But I’d be happy anywhere as long as I have you with me.”
Bakugou relishes in the euphoric scent his mate was giving off. It made his inner Alpha preen with pride. “Never in my life have I wanted a family more than I do in this moment. And I don’t care if they have quirks, are quirkless, as long as they’re healthy, and they’re ours.”
“Mmm, our own family…” child Midoriya’s dreams could never have predicted the life he ended up with. “Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.”
“Did I ever tell you thank you for pulling that stunt at graduation?”
Midoriya sits up, hesitant, his scent immediately registering anxiety. “No.” Why is he bringing that up now?
But Bakugou counters with calming Alpha pheromones as he pulls his mate back into his arms. “I still can’t stand the smug bastard, but I’m glad icyhot helped you help me get outta my own head or I wouldn’t have this life.”
“You had me so panicked Kacchan! I thought I’d killed you or something.”
“Pfft, I’m tougher then that.” He kisses Midoriya’s forehead, sweeping his thumb lovingly over and caressing the Omega’s cheek with a grin, “but I think in the end I really got the better part of the deal.”
#bakudeku#katsudeku#bakudeku abo#bakudeku fan fic#bakudeku fan fiction#bkdk#a!bakugou#o!midoriya#quirkless midoriya izuku#alpha/omega#a/b/o#a/b/o dynamics#AU omegaverse#Bakugou katsuki#Midoriya izuku#Katsuki bakugou#Izuku midoriya#Todoroki shouto#has a small role
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
5+1 - Oneshot
Summary: "Come on, Deku, spit it out," Kacchan growled. They were chest to chest now, his hand digging into the concrete behind Izuku's head. "You run your mouth all the time, but now you shut up? Cat got your tongue?"
No, not in the slightest. Something, be it Kacchan or the blood in his mouth or the pain spreading through his face or the tightness of his groin, had Izuku climbing straight up a wall. And as Kacchan continued to run his mouth, Izuku's resolve to just let it be was worn away little by little. He'd gotten better at rolling with Kacchan's temper and anger, much much better. On his good days, he did really well. On his bad day... Needless to say, today was not one of his good days.
With a clench of teeth and frustrated growl, Izuku grabbed the front of Kacchan's uniform to jerk it out of way and pull him in at the same time. Their mouths collided with a 'click' of teeth and mash of lips. Izuku had never felt so brave and so stupid and so exhilarated in his entire life as copper exploded anew on his tongue. A snarl pressed against his lips.
.....
Or five times Katsuki and Izuku got caught by the media making out in places that they shouldn't, and the one time they didn't.
Pairing: Bakudeku (because I only really write BkDk anymore)
Rating: M
Author’s Note: Welcome to another installment of my horribly self-indulgent fics. Also, 10 yrs of writing fanfiction, and this is the first time I’m writing this format? I’m behind on the times. It’s almost as bad as the fact that I’ve never written a coffee shop au. I’m slacking. Anyway, enjoy!
1:
It all started with a kiss.
Isn't that how the saying goes? Izuku wasn't sure. He'd been interested in girls his entire life, and never put two and two together about his fascination with male heroes as also liking boys. Well, it was more his fascination with Kacchan because he'd equally obsessed over male and female heroes. Really, he wasn't even sure if he actually liked other boys. It really just was Kacchan. Always Kacchan from the get go. From day one of their rocky friendship as kids.
He'd been interested in girls, sure. Ochako. Hatsume, fleetingly -very, very fleetingly-. Neijiro. Embarrassingly Mitsuki Bakugou when he was a kid. Mt Lady. Even Midnight for a spell, but he thought maybe that had more to do with peer pressure and pure sexuality than anything else. Strong, amazing women all in their own right.
No one could hold a candle to Kacchan though.
He just never thought he was sexually attracted to Kacchan until he saw him pressed up against the side of a school building, some nameless faceless boy's hands on him and lips on him and body on him. There had been a soft pink blush scattered across Kacchan's cheekbones, his hands fisted in the boy's blazer, his knee pressed up between the boy's legs. Even up against the wall, he was the one in control, the one setting the pace.
Izuku had stopped dead in his tracks, body going hot from head to toe as he stared, stared, stared. He stared long enough that when Kacchan pulled back for a breath, slitted crimson eyes flickered to him. And then a smirk had jerked up the corner of Kacchan's mouth, cocky and sure and sexy in a way Izuku had never thought of him. When he'd pulled the boy back in, he'd stretched out his tongue to obscenely lick into the boy's mouth, and the boy moaned wantonly.
He'd bolted. Of course Izuku had bolted. He wasn't made to endure such sights, especially after finally weaseling his way back into Kacchan's friendship. In all honesty, he'd been positive that Kacchan would find him later that day, punch his teeth in, and renounce him as a friend all over again.
That's not at all what happened.
What did happen set off a whole chain of events that Izuku had not imagined happening in a hundred universes. Instead, they all decided to converge in on this universe.
Was he mad about it? No, not really. Not at all, actually. Could things have happened differently? Sure, but the media was going to be up their asses no matter what they did. They'd already been up their asses since the sports festival in their first year, so what was this to add to it?
No, Kacchan did not punch his teeth in, but mouths were involved. Very, very much involved.
Later that day out on patrol with Kacchan, one of Endeavors sidekicks, and a mouth bloodied from a fight with a villain, Izuku leaned against the wall of an alley. His breath huffed out in small white clouds, the frigid city air almost burning against his lips. Outside the mouth of the alleyway, he could still hear Kacchan screaming at the villain even though he'd already been immobilized to await the police. There was copper on his tongue and pain blooming further along his cheeks and lights dancing beneath his closed eyelids. It had been a long time since someone had landed such a solid hit square to his face. The feeling was as unpleasant as the first time he'd ever gotten clocked. Only this time he'd allowed his teammates to finish dealing with the villain while he took a break.
Sniffling back a trickle of blood, Izuku thought, 'Just another minute. Another minute and I'll go back.'
Of course, Izuku couldn't have that one moment -that would have looked too much like a gift- before he heard Kacchan calling down the alley at the top of his lungs, "Hey, nerd, you fucking dead back here or what?"
Izuku didn't deign to answer him, but he did crack one slowly swelling eye open to glance at his friend sauntering towards him, hands shoved as deep as they could go into the pockets of his pants. He wore his winter uniform now, and Izuku had never gotten over just how good he looked in it. Only now, he recognized that as him being physically attracted to Kacchan. Shirt stretch tight and taut over muscles he hadn't had when they were in middle school. Pants straining over an ass he could bounce a quarter off of. The people who talked about Izuku's ass had clearly never turned their eyes to the Katsuki Bakugou's. Kacchan's winter uniform tested Izuku's willpower every. Single. Second.
"What? Too good to answer me now?" Kacchan sneered, stepping close so they were only a meager distance from each other. "Just going to stare at me instead, huh? Just like earlier? Seems you've developed a habit of staring, haven't you? Not that you weren't always a creepy little fucking stalker, but I never took you as a voyeur. Picked up a new passed time? Have to watch other people get it on because you can't get any yourself?"
Izuku wasn't really in the mood to deal with Kacchan's taunting, but his words brought back the images from earlier that day. Kacchan pressed against a wall, tongue disappearing into that boy's mouth, face pretty with pink blush, knee pressed flush against his partner's crotch. Heat flushed through Izuku's body all over again. Worse this time though was the feeling of his pants becoming just that much tighter. "N-no! I didn't mean to w-watch! I just got surprised!" he tried to defend himself, but the crooked set of Kacchan's mouth told him that he wouldn't get anywhere.
"Sure you weren't," Kacchan growled, stepping ever closer, their noses just inches apart now. Their bodies weren't that far either. "Did you go back and jerk off like the peeping tom you are? Imagine you were the one pressing someone up against a wall? Imagine shoving your tongue down someone's throat, fucking their mouth like they actually wanted you to?"
Actually, Izuku had gone back to his room and jerked off to the thought of Kacchan pressing him against that wall, Kacchan shoving his tongue down his throat, Kacchan shoving his hand down his pants. It had been a very awkward and revealing jerk session. One that had left him unable to look Kacchan in the face for the remainder of the school day and most of their patrol. "No! Why do you have to be vulgar all the time?" Izuku hissed as his eyes darted down the alley toward the opening. They were still blessedly alone though.
Once upon a time, he'd imagined being friends with Kacchan would had toned down his taunting, but no. Sometimes if felt like they were still against each other. No, this was just how Kacchan acted at least fifty percent of the time when interacting with others. Well, interacting with Izuku. None of the others got quite this much scorn. He had to admit though, most of it was self-inflected. Like now.
"What then? Got a problem with me being into dudes? You homophobic, Deku? That's not very heroic."
Izuku ground his teeth, turning his eyes back to Kacchan and wishing beyond wishes that he could just tell him he wanted him the same way that boy had had him without getting into a fight. He couldn't say that though because Kacchan would one hundred percent blow him up. He'd detonate his quirk right in Izuku's face and obliterate every single one of his stupid freckles.
"Come on, Deku, spit it out," Kacchan growled. They were chest to chest now, his hand digging into the concrete behind Izuku's head. "You run your mouth all the time, but now you shut up? Cat got your tongue?"
No, not in the slightest. Something, be it Kacchan or the blood in his mouth or the pain spreading through his face or the tightness of his groin, had Izuku climbing straight up a wall. And as Kacchan continued to run his mouth, Izuku's resolve to just let it be was worn away little by little. He'd gotten better at rolling with Kacchan's temper and anger, much much better. On his good days, he did really well. On his bad day... Needless to say, today was not one of his good days.
With a clench of teeth and frustrated growl, Izuku grabbed the front of Kacchan's uniform to jerk it out of way and pull him in at the same time. Their mouths collided with a 'click' of teeth and mash of lips. Izuku had never felt so brave and so stupid and so exhilarated in his entire life as copper exploded anew on his tongue. A snarl pressed against his lips.
Instead of pulling away and punching his lights out like Izuku expected, Kacchan gripped the back of his head, bit at his bottom lip to spill more blood, and turned his head to lick feverishly into Izuku's mouth. Kacchan kissed him like a man starving, and it was all Izuku could do to keep from collapsing on his jelly knees. He moaned into the kiss, fingers tightening in Kacchan's collar to pull him closer still, legs spreading enough for the knee that pressed urgently between them.
At some point, the only thing holding Izuku up became that knee between his legs pressed tightly against his groin and Kacchan's hands on him, one on the back of his neck and the other on his hip. That hand traveled further and further the longer they were there, the more desperately they kissed.
Kissed? Was that even the right word for what they were doing? Devouring was a better, more proper word for what they were currently doing. Hands gripping at waists and in hair. Mouths wide and moaning. Tongues hot and slick against each other. Izuku had never kissed anyone before, but in that moment, it couldn't have mattered less. When he inhaled Kacchan's groan, he knew his inexperience didn't matter.
Kacchan's hand slipped from his waist down over the rise of his hip to grip his ass tightly, and Izuku moaned, "Kacchan."
"Deku," Kacchan snarled into his mouth.
And then a flash went off.
Kacchan ripped away from him, cheeks blazing red and mouth smeared with crimson. His eyes were wide and completely focused on Izuku's mouth.
"Is that Deku and Dynamight?"
"It is! Quick!" Another blinding flash accompanied by footsteps running away from them.
"Fuck!" Kacchan snarled, whipping his head towards the opening of the alley, but Izuku didn't turn to look. If he turned his head, he'd be on the ground. "Those pictures are going to be all over the motherfucking internet come morning! God-fucking-dammit!"
Izuku was breathless and boneless, lips sore and chin slick with what he hoped was just blood. He knew better though. His cheeks and body were burning hot. "Stop cursing, Kacchan, there's nothing we can do about it now," he whispered, allowing his eyes to slide shut. Now that Kacchan's mouth wasn't superglued to his, all the strength in his body gave out. He slid to the dirty pavement. "I think my nose is bleeding again."
"Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph," Kacchan spat, and Izuku laughed.
2:
After that first kiss, Katsuki made a point of not being caught alone with Deku for any reason whatsoever. If they were changing for patrol, he always made sure to leave before Todoroki's was done. If they were in the classroom, he only sat at his desk when he was required to. Otherwise, he loitered around Kirishima's desk. If they were in the dorms and everyone else was headed out, he shut himself away in his bedroom and definitely did not obsess over how much he wanted to get Deku under him again.
Katsuki had known for as long as he'd been breathing that he was fully and completely attracted to guys. There was no negotiation about that fact. He was gay, period. End of discussion. What was up for negotiation was the dirty secret crush he'd had on Deku when they'd been kids that had bloomed all over again just as he was managing to get over his mental road blocks and have a friendship with the nerd.
He didn't need that in his life. At all. He had other means of releasing his pent up sexual frustrations, all in the forms of students from other departments. They were fine as friends, and he didn't want to go ruining something that had taken so long to build in the first place. Was he just expected to flush two and a half years of progress down the toilet for one little make out session? No, absolutely not. Especially not one that wasn't even that great to begin with. The nerd had clearly never kissed anyone before, and remembering everything that Deku had done wrong helped Katsuki build the list of cons against doing it again. What it did not help with was remembering everything he had done right. And he had done so many things right.
The dig of his fingers into Katsuki's shoulder. His other set of fingers gripped harshly at the short spikes of his hair. The settle of his weight on Katsuki's thigh. The way he had moaned Katsuki's name. The taste of his blood on Katsuki's tongue.
Okay, so there had been a lot -a lot- of pros to making out with Deku as well.
But that still didn't negate the fact that Katsuki wasn't going to ruin everything. Plus, they really didn't need to be getting distracted from the bigger picture of graduation. And he wasn't going to ruin things.
Accept, well, he hadn't been the one to stumble over his crush and initiate the kiss. Deku had been the one to initiate the kiss.
Everything was so fucked up. So, Katsuki avoided Deku, and was doing a pretty passable job at it for about a month until they both landed themselves in the hospital. They'd been in the hospital at the same time plenty of times before, but they'd never shared a room. This time, the universe seemed hell bent on ruining Katsuki's avoidance plans. Granted, he couldn't say he was pissed to be roomies with the nerd. At least this way he'd be able to make sure he was okay. They had come close to dying plenty of times in their high school careers -maybe more so than any other students who had ever come through UA- but this time had been especially close. So close even that Katsuki hadn't been able to go back to sleep since waking up despite with all the drugs he was under, anxiety roiling in his gut the entire time. It only got worse if he closed his eyes, cut off his view of Deku.
He just lay in his bed, eyes wide open and bleary as he stared at Deku and waited for his to open again. All he wanted was to see green faux innocence staring back at him, and then he could sleep peacefully. His anger, dulled by the drugs, simmered quietly in the back of his mind. This, all of this just like always, had been Deku's fault. Even after more than two years of training, Deku was still the same stupid teenager that he'd always been. He was a great strategist and could come up with a plan in a split second, but when his heart was concerned? Good luck. It was like he lost all sense and became a blathering idiot. Unfortunately for Deku, his heart seemed to always be involved.
Deku had run headlong into a fight he couldn't win alone, and Katsuki had stupidly followed after him.
Now, they were both in the hospital -again and he could almost hear the years falling off Aizawa's life- and it was Deku's fault, but Katsuki just wanted him to open his eyes. To make sure that he was still alive and himself. To catch hold of those emerald irises again.
To his side, Deku's heart monitor's steady pace blipped, his breath hitched, his fingers twitched out the end of his casts.
Katsuki struggled to push himself up, kicking his legs over the side of his cot. "Hey, shitty nerd, you awake over there?" he called quietly.
"Kacchan?" Deku asked weakly, voice dry and scratchy as his eyelids fluttered open and closed several times, "K-Kacchan? Kacchan, where are we? What happened?"
Pushing himself to his feet and shuffling to Deku's bedside while dragging along his machines and IV, he stared down into bruised eyes that were shot through with burst blood vessels. "Hospital, where else?"
"Why?"
"Because we were fucked up. Why else?"
Deku blinked up at him, and he could see how slow the drugs the doctors had them on had made even Deku's brain. "Did we win?"
Katsuki couldn't help the smirk that immediately plastered itself to his face, but he didn't feel the smugness that usually came with it. All he could feel was the fear that he'd been feeling since he'd woken up. That pervasive fear that either of them could have died this time. That the one kiss -make out session, let's call it what it was- they'd shared would be their only. Katsuki was so gone for this stupid asshole, just like he'd always been. "Fuck yeah, we did. Who do you think I am? Just because you got your head bashed in didn't mean I wasn't going to win. I can win without your shitty help." In all reality, Katsuki had won because he'd gone postal after Deku had been knocked out. Now he was paying the price, lying in the hospital.
Green eyes flicked down, staring at the black compression gloves around Katsuki's hands and forearms, following them up to the bandages poking out of the tops. "Yeah, silly me," he whispered, but his eyes remained transfixed. Before Katuski could formulate his next sassy response, Deku said, "You went too far again, Kacchan, you can't keep doing that."
Katsuki couldn't keep the words from falling from his mouth, strained and choked and wet, "You almost died, idiot, and I almost-"
"Sorry to put you through that," Deku said, eyes sliding away from Katsuki to stare out the window. A thin layer of frost covered the panes. If it rained, they'd have snow by the morning. "If you had just let me then at least you'd finally be rid of me. Why keep saving me?"
Katsuki stared at him, confusion slowly leaking into his system alongside more fear. It was as if the drip of his IV was straight emotion, and had nothing to do with keeping him hydrated and out of pain. "What are you talking about?"
"It's true," Deku said, eyes distant and glazed as he stared out. They were on the fourth floor right beside a tree whose branches just barely reached the window, enough to gently tap in the wind. "You'd be better off without me. Not held back. You've pretty much been saying it since we were kids. You haven't even really looked at me in the better part of a month. What's the point of you continuing to save me from myself?" For someone drugged to the gills, Deku was talking an awful lot, but maybe this was all stuff Deku had been thinking for a long time so it didn't take as much effort to pull it up. "You hate me and are disgusted by me, so why go through the trouble?"
Or maybe Katsuki was overestimating how drugged Deku really was.
"Who the fuck said anything about me being disgusted by you or hating you in recent memory? No, really, who was it because it sure as fuck wasn't me," Katsuki snapped, the burn of his anger feeling more normal now, more like his usual level of anger. It burned through his veins, chasing away the ice of the drug.
Deku gaped at him, finally looking back with eyes more focused than they'd been in the past minutes. "W-wha- But you-"
"Don't put fucking words in my mouth, Deku. It's been two fucking years since I've actually hated your nerd ass, and as for being disgusted. Why in the hell do you think I'm disgusted by you?"
Red crept into Deku's cheeks, making the caramel freckles spattered across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose all the more obvious. He dropped his eyes to the thin blanket over him, curling and uncurling his fingers in the fabric. "W-well- Um- T-The uh-"
"Come on, spit it out! I don't got all night. I'd like to go to sleep again sometime this century."
"I kissed you," he hurried, cheeks only seeming to grow redder with the passing seconds, "And you haven't talked to me or looked at me for a month. Don't think I haven't noticed you avoiding being alone with me. You kiss me to within an inch of my life and then pretend like I don't exist, not just that it didn't happen, but like I literally don't exist. What was I supposed to think?"
Katsuki stared at him for several long moments that only seemed to make Deku all the more agitated. "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know! Something! Anything! If you really don't hate me than a reason would be nice." He lifted his eyes, tear filled, but steely with determination, to stare at him.
The next words that came out of his mouth were due to the drugs. He would die on that hill. No way in hell would he ever admit what he did in that next moment if he'd been sober. No way in hell. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship. It took long enough to get back."
Deku's mouth flopped open. "What are you talking about? I was the one who kissed you."
"Yeah, but I'm the one who wanted to do it again."
Blinking rapidly, Deku's mouth slowly eased shut only for a smile to take its place. And then laughter was falling from his mouth, sweet, dorky, snorting laughter. Katsuki was going to combust. "Kacchan, did you ever think I wanted to do it again too? You just thought that- What? I don't even know what could follow that. Kacchan! You've been ignoring me for a month because you wanted to kiss me again?"
Katsuki could feel his face heating exponentially, and he gritted his teeth against the rising blush. "No one ever said that."
"You literally just did! Are the drugs making you forget?"
Leaning over Deku, Katsuki snarled, "These drugs aren't doing shit to me. I fucking remember everything." Except that one of those statements was a dirty, dirty lie and Deku knew that.
Eyes squinted with the force of his smile, Deku said, "Well, for the record, I want to kiss you again too and I'm glad you saved me. I'm glad your alive." He didn't look down as he made a grab for Katuski's hand where it had sunk into the bed. With his cast though, he could little more than flutter his fingers over Katsuki's.
Glancing down at their hands, Katsuki muttered, "Well, I guess I'm not pissed that your alive."
With a huffed sigh, Deku said, "I'd kiss you again, but I don't think I could pull you in right now."
Smirking, Katsuki lifted his eyes and leaned into Deku. The kiss started out slower than the first one; soft, exploratory, missing the taste of blood. It was a press of lips, a slide of mouths, a hand on the crook of Deku's neck and shoulder. Leaning heavily onto his hand, Katsuki leveraged himself over Deku, swiping his tongue over Deku's bottom lip that he accepted readily.
The hot, wet press of tongues turned the kiss inside out. Breath grew short, ragged, moaned. Tongues slid against one another, against the inside of teeth. Teeth clacked. Noses smashed as Katsuki tilted his head to get a better angle. He wasn't sure when he climbed into the cot, but suddenly there was too many wires and too many tubes and Deku's heat pressing up into him through a scant few layers of fabric. It didn't feel like his decision when he ground down into Deku's lap.
"Kacchan," Deku moaned between kisses, hips stuttering against Katsuki.
The heat of Deku's blush warmed Katsuki's palms. He groaned into Deku's mouth when fingers skimmed along his calf to hook around his ankle. "As soon as we get out of this hospital-" he snarled into Deku's mouth, but was cut off by a sudden flash of light in his peripheral view just like the time in the alleyway. "Oh, what in the everlong fuck?" he spat, jerking back from Deku as they both turned to look at the window.
A camera disappeared over the ledge.
"How are they even up there? Aren't we on the second floor?"
"Fourth," Katsuki snarled, punching the call button as he carefully crawled off Deku's bed and hobbled for the window. He willed the fabric of his medical gown and boxers to lie flat. "Fuckers. That's the second time. Endeavor's gonna be pissed."
"Mr. Aizawa is going to be pissed," Izuku groaned miserably, and he was right, that was the worse of the two.
A nurse bustled in at that moment, and as soon as she heard what had happened, she was out of the room again. She paused only long enough to order, "Get back in bed, Mr. Bakugou!"
3:
Things didn't really change after that, but that had more to do with the fact that Aizawa had them separate as much as possible due to the now two sets of pictures of them making out in places that they shouldn't really have been. That alleyway with blood smearing their mouths and the hospital while they were still recovering. He couldn't do anything besides lock them away in the dorms. House arrest with only class and occasionally their internships to break up the monotony. As much as he might have wished, he couldn't keep them away from each other in the dorms.
They were more careful though. After that, they didn't get caught because they got better at hiding. They stuck to their rooms -which they should have been doing the entire time- and within four walls provided any windows had curtains drawn. No longer out in the open. No longer where they can easily get caught. They're relationship went from nonexistent to hidden very quickly.
Izuku hated it. He hated it with every cell of his being. Finally, they figured their shit out -mostly- and were immediately forced to conduct their relationship in the shadows. He waited literal years for something he didn't even know was going to be a possibility. He'd held out silly hope, and when that hope was finally fulfilled... He couldn't even hold Kacchan's hand in the open without the teachers or someone else flipping out because "It'll be better for your career if you two are straight." Which... what? How did that even make sense? Yeah, popularity played a massive role in the success of a hero, but Izuku was 99.9% sure that a hero's sexuality had never played that huge of a role. Until he started to do research and couldn't find a single confirmed gay hero. Which baffled his mind.
In that moment, he decided he would be the first openly gay hero to be successful, and then he'd make history again by being the first openly gay No.1 Hero as well. And Kacchan agreed with him.
They'd still decided to keep a low profile because they were well known enough already, so hidden they were. They made it all the way to graduation.
The graduation party their class threw was held on the beach that Izuku had cleaned as part of his training with All Might what seemed like decades ago, and it was large. And rowdy. And loud. And alcohol was involved, so naturally stupidity. The party was everything Kacchan hated, and things that Izuku found invigorating to a certain point.
It was several hours and more than a few drinks into the party that Izuku had filled his quota on social interactions for the day, and teetered off into the dark down the beach. There was no moon, and the sea stretched endless and pitch black into the distance. Stars wheeled overhead, the Milky Way brighter than he ever thought he'd see so close to the city. The beach weaved out in front of him, the sand cool between his toes. The scent of salt and brine filled his nose, making his head just that much lighter. The waves 'shushed' close by.
He nearly fell ass over teakettle when a hand shot out to press to his stomach and another grabbed his wrist. Instinctively, he jerked away, but the hands held fast.
"Deku fucking chill," Kacchan's ever distinctive voice snarled, palms warm on his body, "You almost tripped over me."
"Oh, Kacchan, I wasn't expecting you to be out here." Izuku allowed himself to be guided to the ground by hands that grew gentler the closer he got. He straddled Kacchan's lap, resting heavily against his outstretched legs. Even as his head spun, Izuku could clearly focus on Kacchan, always on Kacchan. "You're so pretty."
Kacchan huffed out a gruff laugh. "And you're so drunk, shitty nerd. How much have you had to drink?"
"Not that much. Just a few drinks."
"How many is a few?"
Squinting, Izuku lifted up his hands taking a moment to appreciate just how weightless they felt before trying to count. Kacchan didn't let him finish after he restarted for the third time, and he whined. "Kacchan, I was using those."
"Not very well." Kacchan pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving it tingly and warm. He nuzzled along Izuku's cheek. That had been new and surprising, Kacchan's need for physical contact. They hadn't gotten much further than cuddling and feeling each other up, but they had spent a fair bit of time just touching each other. Izuku loved every moment of it dearly. "Why aren't you at the party?"
Izuku sighed, leaning into the touch. "Got loud. Needed a break. I would ask why you aren't, but I already know."
"Oh? You think you know me so well, huh?" Kacchan's lips were pressed to the spot just below his ear, and he could feel his growl as a vibration more than actually hear what he said. He trembled in Kacchan's grasp. "Tell me why you think I'm out here."
Izuku turned his head, seeking out Kacchan's mouth with his own. If he'd been sober, he wouldn't have been nearly as confident as he pressed their lips together, wrapped his arms around Kacchan's neck, pressed their bodies flush. Kacchan was the one to lead most of the time in their relationship. It felt good to kiss first, touch first, hold first. He moved his mouth to Kacchan's ear, and whispered, "You just wanted to lure me out here so we could get all sandy and dirty without anyone else seeing. Naughty Kacchan."
Kacchan's gravelly laugh was and would always be the best sound in the world. The feeling of that laugh rumbling through his chest was Izuku's second favorite sensation, the first being Kacchan's kiss. "Caught me, nerd. How did you know?"
"I'm just that good." Izuku grinned as he returned to kiss Kacchan again. This time, they didn't stop. This time, it was all tongues and bitten lips and hot shared breath. Kacchan pulled him down so that he was lying on top of Kacchan's chest, the cool sand beneath them. Izuku moaned into the kiss as Kacchan's hands slid down his back to his waist, back up, and came back down to grip his ass tightly. Kacchan lifted his legs just enough that when Izuku ground down into him, all he saw was sparks behind his eyelids.
This was how their nights went. They'd sneak into each others rooms. They'd kiss each other senseless, hold each other close. Their hands would drift, their bodies reacting instinctively to each other, but it was as far as they would ever go. Neither of them needed to be sore going into training the next day. Neither of them needed to go to class smelling like each other either, even if their entire class already knew about them. Even if the entire world already knew about them. There was always a reason to stop, always a reason not too take it too far.
Izuku was tired of that though, and he knew Kacchan was as well. Each day, his hands grew bolder, hotter, needier, more adventurous. “I want-” he started.
“Yes,” Kacchan moaned into his mouth, and he drank down the sound, “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Please,” Izuku whined. He ground down harder, panted against parted lips, slipped his scared fingers beneath Kacchan's shirt.
It took an embarrassingly long time for him to realize that they were being watched. He hadn't seen a flash, but that didn't mean that they weren't using some form of night photography or a quirk. He clenched his teeth against the groan of his frustration, stilling above Kacchan at the same time Kacchan stilled beneath him.
They listened intently, mouths parted and close, sharing breath. They waited for another sound, another shuffle of sand or rustle of leaves. What they heard was the sound of a camera shutter.
“Yeah, that looks great. This is going to be such a hit. What a scoop.” The whisper was androgynous, and not quite quiet enough.
Izuku and Kacchan pushed up at the same time, anger driving them to their feet and towards the sound. “Hey, asshole, where the fuck do you get off spying on people, huh? You wanna die?” Kacchan shouted, explosions crackling in the palms of his clenched fists, sending up smoke tails.
“I won't let him kill you, but it's very rude to spy on people having a private moment,” Izuku chastised as what he assumed were paparazzi scrambled away. His head spun sickeningly, and he stopped before getting any closer.
“Where do you think you're going?” Kacchan shouted as they took off at a sprint. Izuku caught his arm before he could follow. “What the- Deku?”
“I think I'm gonna be sick.”
Snarling, Kacchan glanced between where they could still see the paparazzi stumbling across the sand and back to Izuku. Scrubbing a hand through his hair in agitation, he turned towards Izuku instead. “Don't puke on me, or you'll be the one I murder,” he grumbled as he leaned down to give Izuku a piggyback ride.
The pictures, of course, were the top trending images the next morning. Good thing they'd already signed contracts. The agency wouldn't be able to get rid of them for at least a year.
4:
Katsuki wouldn't say that they were careless, but he wouldn't say they were careful either. They kissed when and where they want, though they were quite a bit more tame than they preferred to be in their apartment. The apartment they'd gotten together after their first year out of UA. On the battlefield, in a convenience store, on the train, in the agency, at the park.
The park was where they found themselves that particular night, drunk and stumbling and giggly after an outing with the other heroes from the agency.
Deku crashed into a swing, laughing as Katsuki crowded his space. He pushed Katsuki away with a hand on his face. "No, Kacchan, push me!" he demanded, backing up onto his tiptoes.
Katsuki ducked out of the way as Deku swung forward, laughing his fool head off. "Asshole," Katsuki spat, but rounded the set to shove Deku forward with each downward swing.
"Higher, Kacchan! Higher!"
Of course, Katsuki complied. Deku's back was warm beneath his palms, shoulders hard with muscle. He swung higher and higher, laughter flung out for everyone to hear. Katsuki continued to push him until the chains started to go slack at Deku's highest points, the hero going weightless for several seconds before the chains would snap straight when his weight returned to the seat.
He let Deku's momentum slow to a stop, and Deku pouted as he crowded his space again. "I was having fun, Kacchan."
"You could have kept going on your own," he pointed out, hands wrapping around Deku's. His fingers were cold beneath his own, and he left his hands heat just slightly to warm them. When Deku didn't say anything, Katsuki leaned into him. "You'd get sick eventually. You can't hold your liquor."
"That was one time!" Deku protested loudly, "I'm hardly drunk at all this time!"
Katsuki smirked. "This time and this time only." Tightening his hands, he leaned over Deku.
Deku met him halfway, wiggling one hand to free to wrap around the back of Katsuki's neck and pull down further. Deku whispered his name against his lips, a prayer, a reverence. They kissed for several long moments, languid and easy, breath a hot mist between them. Slowly, Deku's hand traced down Katsuki back, dipping low, low, low until his found the edge of his pants. He pushed still freezing fingers passed the waist band of both Katsuki's pants and his briefs to grip his bare ass.
"Deku," Katsuki growled, teeth clenched around Deku's bottom lip, "Don't start shit your not going to finish."
Laughing, Deku pulled his second hand free, repeating the process. "Starting what? I'm just touching my boyfriend. I'm not starting anything."
"Shithead," Katsuki growled, pushing forward to close the distance again. He kept his hands on the chains, palms growing warmer and warmer as Deku's fingers kneaded and pressed and slid against his skin. He inhaled sharply as those fingers circled his rim teasingly. "You are such an asshole."
"Takes one to know one." Deku kissed along his jaw and down his neck, searching for his favorite spot to attack. "Take me home?" he asked teasingly against the skin of Katsuki throat, teeth grazing over his pulse point, "Maybe we can continue this? I'd really love to."
Katsuki was barely listening, all focused on Deku's mouth on him and Deku's hands on him, fervently wishing that his fingers were in him. If he'd been more sober, he would have remembered where they were, who they were in a public place, how bad of luck they had with being in public. He wasn't sober though, so he only moaned in response when Deku asked, "Are you listening to me?"
Again, Deku laughed, huskier and hotter and needier this time. "Take me home, Kacchan."
"Yeah," Katsuki breathed, body engulfed in the hot fire of desire, "Yeah, let's go home."
Before Deku could pull his hands away, a couple things happened at once. A camera flash blinded them. The chain links beneath Katsuki's heated hands gave way and snapped which was new. As a result, Deku crashed to the ground with Katsuki on top of him because his hands were still clutching his ass and Katsuki had been leaning heavily into the chains. They lay in a tangled heap, groaning together as the camera clicked several more times before the photographer sprinted away.
"Jesus," Katsuki snarled, "When the fuck are we going to get a break? One day. One day is all I ask to not be interrupted by the paparazzi."
"That's asking too much." Deku still hadn't removed his hands, eyes trained on the starry sky above. He sighed. "Did you have to break the swing?"
"Didn't mean to. It was an accident."
Finally, Deku pulled his hands out, circling his arms around Katsuki's back instead. "We're going to have to replace it."
"This parks' sets are shit anyway. That swing was going to get a kid hurt one day. Or give them tetanus. I did their parents a favor." Deku laughed, and Katsuki struggled to his feet, dragging Deku with him. "Fuck it. Let's go home. We'll deal with it in the morning when the pictures show up."
5:
Kacchan had been out on a mission for over a month. It had been exactly 32 days, 4 hours, 16 minutes and 27 seconds since he'd last seen his boyfriend, and it was starting to affect his work. Not excessively to the point that he was losing fights or getting civilians hurt or anything. More in the fact that he was far more aggressive with the villains he apprehended than normal. More waspish when he was in the office and passed by Kacchan's closed office door again. He'd thought that taking on extra hours at the agency would keep his mind off of Kacchan's absence, but it had left him simply more tired than ever. All in all, a month away from Kacchan had made him a rather unpleasant person to be around.
He'd relegated himself to his office when not on patrol or being forced to endure hours of the dog and pony show. That day was no different despite the fact that he actually had an reporter coming in for an interview as some point. He picked despondently at a store bought bento one of the secretaries had brought him earlier, and it only made him miss Kacchan all the more.
"Dynamight!"
Izuku's head jerked up, pushing the bento straight off his desk and into the trash bin as he stood. He hurried for the door, cracking it open.
The desperate angry voice came again. "Dynamight, we've got a debriefing to get to, and then you need to leave for mandatory time off! Are you listening to me?"
"Of course, I'm not!" Kacchan spat back, his voice as harsh as ever as it came to him from around a corner. When Kacchan said that though, it meant he actually had been listening. It was when he didn't respond at all that people needed to worry. "I don't need to be at that stupid briefing, I was there for there entire mission as were several others going to that meeting! I've got better things to do right now!"
Giddiness shot straight up Izuku's spine, a smile spreading wide across his face. He stepped halfway out of the office just like several other heroes were also doing along the hall.
"Dynamight!"
Kacchan rounded the corner, scowl firmly in place and eyes still black with liner as a smaller blonder hero chased after him. His mask had been pushed out of the way, his uniform still on. "Fuck off! I don't give a shit about some stupid fucking meeting!" His crimson eyes found Izuku easily in the hallway of heroes, pace speeding up even if his expression didn't change. "If they really need something from me, they can read my motherfucking report!" Without missing a beat, he wrapped his fingers around Izuku's wrist, pulling him into his office.
Kacchan slammed the door behind him and then immediately slammed Izuku up against it. There was a knee between his thighs, warm needy lips against his warm needy lips, hands on his hips. Kacchan moaned into him. "Fucking long mission. Missed you," he grumbled between kisses.
"Same." Izuku panted, arms wrapping around Kacchan's neck to hold him close. "Missed you too. Missed you the whole time." Pulling him closer, Izuku pushed his hands up into Kacchan's hair and pulled.
Kacchan moaned again, hands trailing down his hips to wrap around the back of his thighs and hoist him up. Izuku wrapped his legs willingly around Kacchan's hips, whispering out a moan as his groin pressed tightly against Kacchan's taut belly. "Get ready, Deku."
"Wha-" Izuku didn't have the time to ask the simple question as he was thrown onto his couch, Kacchan pressing heavy over him. "Kacchan, we're in the agency!" he hissed even as he pressed up into the scorching heat that was Kacchan's body, "What if we get caught?"
"Don't care." Kacchan mouthed down the side of his neck as he pulled down the zipper on the back of Izuku suit to get better access to his skin. He sucked deep red bruises into Izuku's collarbones and along his shoulders, ever careful to make sure they could be covered up. "Let them walk in. Let them know that your all mine. No one else can have you but me."
"We're in the agency," Izuku protested weakly again. Very, very weakly. He had no resolve when it came to Kacchan's hands and lips on him, his body snug beneath his thighs. He almost wanted to tell him not to bother with being careful, to have his way with him, to mark him up for everyone to see. Almost. So very close. Instead, he just tilted his head back allowing Kacchan all the access he wanted. For good measure, he ground up into the blond, pulling a groan from each of their chests. "I want you, Kacchan, want you in me. Now. If we're gonna do this-"
"We're doing this," Kacchan snarled, sitting back on his heels to reach for his utility belt.
Izuku's eyes were so hungry on him, he didn't notice the door knob turning.
They were, in fact, not 'doing thing'.
"Deku! Good afternoon!" the reporter he was supposed to meet shouted as she burst through his office door, camera flashing, "It's so good to see you again! Sorry for barging in, but I'm on a-"
Kacchan's snarl cut her off as quickly as Izuku's shout of surprise. If he'd been hot before, the blush that roared through him made him molten. He was surprised everything he was touching didn't immediately go up in flames. He was extremely aware of the compromising position her photographer had just caught himself, No.4 Hero Deku, and No.5 Hero Dynamight in. Who even took surprise pictures of people? A sadist, that was who. Well, sadists and any reporter worth their salt who was well aware of the debauchery said heroes got up to in places they shouldn't.
"Please, get out!" Izuku cried, hands over his face, "I'll do the interview in a few minutes!"
Kacchan was roaring as well, "Get the fuck out, damn extras! You ever fucking heard of knocking?"
The secretary was doing their damnedest to push the reporter and her photographer out of the door, but they didn't manage before the reporter called back smugly, "Ever heard of a bedroom, Dynamight? Or maybe just a lock?"
"Shut the fuck up and get out!" The door slammed, and only the sound of their panting filled the air for several long moments. Kacchan finally leaned forward, resting his head against Izuku's shoulder. "Five uninterrupted minutes. Five is all I ask," he grumbled.
Izuku couldn't suppress the hysterical giggle that crawled up his throat. "I would hope that it would last longer than five minutes. It's been a month, Kacchan."
Holding himself up to stared down at Izuku, he grinned wolfishly. "Oh, it'll last a lot longer than that, nerd. Just you wait."
Wrapping his arms around his head, Izuku's laughter continued until Kacchan joined. Only when Kacchan pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled him to his feet did he calm down, still grinning stupidly. "I've got to do this interview, but I'm free after. Maybe I can convince her to delete the photo?"
Kacchan barked out a sharp laugh. "Definitely no chance of that. You know it's already been backed up on six different servers." He leaned in close, smirking. "Might have to save if myself for lonely nights. I bet its the hottest thing anyone has seen for awhile."
Izuku hands were back on his face as Kacchan turned him to pull his zipper up and fix his suit. "Don't say that, Kacchan, I don't want anyone seeing our intimate photos," he all but whined, turning back around to face the other man, "Dinner after? Maybe a movie?"
Kacchan pulled him in again, kiss softer and more chaste than before. "We'll order something in. I just want to be at home."
"Okay!" Izuku couldn't help the grin that split across his face.
1:
To say that Katsuki's day was going bad would be an understatement. To say that his weekend was going bad would be an understatement. It was supposed to be date weekend, the only time during the month that his and the nerd's days off lined up. Sometimes it was every two months, every three. They would have dinner or go see a movie or go to the beach. One memorable time when they'd somehow bagged four days off in a row, they'd flown out to Okinawa to visit some of their classmates that had been stationed out on the island. They'd spent the first two days out there, and then returned to fuck each other for the last two days.
The point was that they spent every second together just soaking in each others company. Most days they might see each other for fleeting moments throughout the day. Passing on the street during patrol, and pausing for an always shortened kiss. In the office for lunch that one or the other always got called away from. At night before bed when they were barely awake enough to make food, take a bath together and maybe watch a couple minutes of a movie before they couldn't stay awake.
Date weekends were usually calm-ish, peaceful-ish, chill-ish. Not much running. Not a lot of people screaming. For whatever god-forsaken reason, people seemed hell bent on ruining Katsuki's very carefully laid plans this time though. He'd planned out the weekend very precisely. Yesterday, he'd planned a whole scavenger hunt for Deku that would take him to all of his favorite places. Inko's apartment, Katsuki parents' house, the playground near their new home, the ramen shop near the agency, the convention center where he had his first meet and greet as Hero Deku, the flower garden where he bawled his eyes out thinking Katsuki didn't want to be with him but had actually asked him officially to be his boyfriend. Which had only made him bawl harder.
Point being, there had been a treasure trove of moments Katsuki had for Deku to remember that would lead to a dinner at Deku's favorite katsudon place and Katsuki down on one knee. It would have been perfect since it was their anniversary. Only that had to be scrapped when they were called in even before they woke up for some stupid sting operation that "absolutely no one else" could handle. They'd been at the agency all day, an exhausting sixteen hour day when they should have been at home.
Now, Katsuki was just doing his best to lose the goddamn media because fuck every paparazzi out there if he wasn't going to publicize his own engagement. Or lack there of if Deku decided to say no. Which was a very real possibility, he was sure. He didn't have any doubts that Deku loved him, but he did doubt that Deku would want to spend the rest of his life with him. Listen, he knew his faults, but he could hope.
So, Katsuki had spent the better part of the day carting Deku around from spot to spot. They had breakfast, went to the new Hero Exhibit Deku had been salivating over for the past week, had lunch, saw the newest movie that Deku had also been salivating over for the past month, had dinner, and now Katsuki was trying to lose the cameras that had been following them for the entire day. He had hoped that they'd lose interest by now, but no luck. They were like wild animals just waiting for a scrap of meat to hit the ground.
"Jesus fuck," Katsuki snarled under his breath as another flash went off right in front of his face, "Fucking vultures."
Deku's hand squeezed tightly in his as he leaned into Katsuki body. "It's alright. I mean, I'd rather be able to spend time with you without ever second being documented, but it was nice either way. I had a really fun time today."
Katsuki glanced over at the dumb smile that would inevitably be pulling at the corners of Deku's lips. He was such a goner for that smile. He was in so deep for the man at his side that he couldn't even see the hole he'd tripped into. He suspected it was because he couldn't fit through the hole anymore. "We're not done just yet, nerd, I've still got more planned. I just need to lose the vultures."
Interest had Deku's eyebrows jumping towards his hairline. "Really? More? We've been out all day. We're usually home by four on the weekends."
Katsuki raised an eyebrow in return. "What? You don't want to or something?"
"Not what I said," Deku snarked, leaning more heavily into Katsuki and making him stumble over his own feet, "Lead the way. I'll follow you anywhere."
A smirk twisted Katsuki's mouth. "Yeah, you fucking do. Get ready to run."
"What?"
Instead of repeating himself, Katsuki grabbed his cell and dialed one of the few numbers he actually used regularly. Before Kirishima could say anything as the call connected, he asked, "Are you and the other extras ready to go?"
'Just got into position! Where are you at?' Katsuki gave him their location. 'Awesome, man! We're actually right around the corner! Hitoshi and Denki are ready for the display. Momo and Shotou are waiting by the docks. Chako, Mina and I are here for support to block any cameras we see on your tail. T-minus two minutes. Make sure you're at the corner.'
"Copy. We're ten feet from the corner. Thanks for the help, shitty hair." He ended the call on Kirishima's splutter of surprise.
"Kacchan?" Katsuki glanced back over at Deku, taking in the furrow of his brow and pinched lips. "What's going on? You rarely thank people unless they're doing you a massive favor, and you never ask for favors."
"Don't worry about it. Just follow my lead. It'll be worth it. Trust me."
Eyes narrowing just the slightest, Deku pursed his lips. "I trust you," he said simply.
Katsuki pulled them to a stop at the corner that expanded into a spreading park just across the intersection. There were people dotting the grass, basking in the last dregs of afternoon light, walking their dogs, studying. If the activity could be done outside, there were people doing it. The park was incredibly close to the harbor which made it the perfect spot for the distraction. Already, he could see Shinsou and Kaminari walking by the fountain, grinning like fools. He pressed his mouth to Deku's ear. "Stop here. When I say run, we're going to sprint to the left and then take a right at the next light. Don't stop until we hit the docks, the ones for private use. No quirks, we want to blend into the crowd."
A tremor rolled through Deku's body, grip tightening on Katsuki. "Got it," he whispered back, and there was a thread of poorly disguised excitement in his voice.
"Not long now." He straightened up, putting space between him and Deku, but keeping their hands clasped. In his head, he counted backwards from one-hundred. He hadn't reached fifty when he saw Shinsou pull Kaminari to a stop and drop to one knee in front of him. The pair had secretly been engaged for the better part of a year, which Katsuki was actually surprised had remained a secret. Kaminari normally couldn't keep his mouth shut, but he knew that just like with him and Deku, they had wanted this to be on their terms. It just so happened they were willing to reenact their engagement in public to facilitate Katsuki's engagement in private. He and the others had run media control for them before, so it was just payback.
Kaminari for all his idiocy, was a decent actor, and Shinsou knew how to stir up a crowd. He'd made sure they were in the mist of a rather larger group of onlookers, and the crowd erupted in high pitched screams of excitement when Kaminari pressed his hands over his face. Like bees to honey, onlookers flocked. That included the paparazzi tailing Deku and Katsuki, and all the other cameras close by.
"Good luck," Uraraka sang close to them as she tapped her fingertips and then their clothes, "That should help you stay light on foot."
"Chako?" Deku squeaked, but Katsuki didn't give him time to wonder about her.
Making eye contact with Kirishima and Ashido, Katsuki nodded. "Run," he said as their tails took off across the intersection with little care for the flow of traffic.
Deku laughed as they sprinted down the side walk hand in hand, weaving through people confused by the cacophony and even more confused when they darted passed them. His laughter became breathless and high the longer they ran, but it never fell away. Even as they slowed at the docks, his chest heaving as he leaned into Katsuki's side, he was still giggling. "What was that?" he panted, hand pressed to Katsuki's chest until it slid away from him to clutch at his knees, "I don't think I've run that much on ground in a long time. It's different without my quirk."
"You're out of shape," Katsuki told him as he grinned. Even he struggled to even out his breathing. He was no spring chicken either, not that he'd ever admit that out loud. "Chin up, Deku, we're not done yet?"
"Running?" Deku whined, standing straight only to flop his head back on his shoulders, "You're going to kill me, Kacchan. This better be worth it."
Katsuki scrubbed a hand through Deku's now sweaty curls before slipping their hands together again. He pulled the other man along, shoes scuffing across the worn wood of the docks. "It will. Now, which dock..." Trailing off, he glanced back down at his phone to find the dock number in the group chat Kirishima had started to organize the whole debacle. While they walked, Deku chattered happily, eyes scanning over the marina and all of the colorful sailboats drifting out towards the open waters. Probably doing something similiar to what Katsuki had planned.
"I was really surprised to see Hitoshi and Denki doing their proposal again. I thought they weren't planning on publicizing until closer to the wedding. Isn't it crazy? Do you remember when everyone was freaking out just from pictures of us kissing? Everyone really thought we wouldn't be able to make it as heroes for being together. Now there's more openly gay and lesbian heroes and couples than there has ever been, and not just heroes either. Did you hear about that hero in Hokkaido that just came out as trans? It's amazing!" Deku's grin was bright and wide, but fell when he spotted their destination. "Shouto? Momo?"
"Hi, Izuku! How's you're day going?" Yaoyorozu chirped as Todoroki passed a key to Katsuki on a hot pink bungee cord bracelet.
Deku's eyes darted between them, watching the exchange intently. "It's been, uh, good. What's going on?"
Todoroki smiled over at him, and Katsuki had to physically resist the urge to raise his hackles. "Have a good time. We'll help you untie and kick off, and we'll be back in about an hour to help you tie back up." He tilted his head towards the sailing boat bobbing gently in the water. Unlike the bungee cord, the boat's sail was an icy blue and white, the hull a dark mahogany color. "Sunset is in about an hour, so we better get you guys on your way."
Deku was still spluttering as Yaoyorozu helped him into the boat with a, "Don't worry about that, just enjoy yourself," and Todoroki started to untie ropes from the dock.
Katsuki dropped down into the boat afterward, quickly checking the front to make sure the blankets and champagne he'd brought several days earlier was where Todoroki told him he could stash it. Satisfied, he deftly went around collecting the bumpers from the water and ignoring Deku's stuttered questions. He sent the pair a two fingered salute as they pulled away from the spot.
"Kacchan! We're going sailing?" Deku asked nervously, leaning over the side of the boat to stare into the water, "I didn't even know Momo and Shouto owned a sailboat. Why do they own a sailboat? Why do you know that they own one? Do you even know how to sail?"
"They've had it for a couple of years now, and they compete on their off days for charity. I didn't spend all that time with Icy-Hot's not to know how to sail like a pro, so yes. I do." Katsuki increased their speed as they made it out of the docks, steering them towards the sea. The mouth of the bay waited for them, the sea expanding out beyond. Other sailboats, sails colorful and bright and patterned flared open, slowly crawling in the same direction. They wouldn't go out far, just passed the bay opening and far enough that any camera lens would not be able to pick them up. They'd still be within shouting distance of the other boats. He relayed the information to Deku.
Deku was still leaning over the side of the boat, staring down into the murky waters of the bay. His head whipped around after a moment of silence, mouth open wide. "W-wait, Kacchan! D-d-did you just say you spent time with Shouto? Like willingly? Like not during work? I did hear you correct, right? Did I just hallucinate?"
Rolling his eyes, Katsuki didn't take his eyes off of what was out in front of him. Though it was mostly open waters, he didn't want to ram into anything that would damage the vessel. He didn't want to think about what the upkeep on it cost, and more importantly, Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were already doing him a solid. He didn't want to owe them anymore than he already did. "You didn't hallucinate. You heard me right."
"But... why? You hate spending time with my friends, especially Shouto."
"I don't hate spending time with your friends. I just can't stand being around them for a long time."
"I still don't understand."
Katsuki chanced a quick glance at Deku as they were about to push through the mouth, sighing through his nose. "This is our fifth anniversary. I wanted to make it special. This was the only way I could think to get away from the cameras." When he glanced again, tears had filled Deku's eyes, and he snorted. "Don't start crying just yet, shitty nerd, night's not over yet." He didn't have to look to know there was red splashed across Deku's face as he scrubbed at his cheeks.
They motored easily through the mouth of the bay, and it was like the land had been blocking every bit of the sunset. Gold and orange and red burned across the sky, and Deku gasped at the sight, standing to scramble to the front of the boat. "Kacchan! Look at it!" Out before them, all of the sailboats that had left before them dotted the calm ocean, bobbing gently as they passed by. "Oh, it's beautiful!" The sun still had a good thirty minutes before it was completely beneath the edge of the horizon.
Katsuki spied other couples out of the corners of his eyes, cuddled up on blankets or leaning against the railing of the vessels or sitting on the backs with their toes just skimming the water. "Go to the front. Get the blankets, glasses and bottle that are beneath the seat. Set them up beneath the sail while I stake out a spot."
Deku lifted the seats he'd been kneeling on, pulling out everything he'd stashed away. "This is where my favorite blanket disappeared to? Kacchan!" he reprimanded, bringing everything up with a huff, "I've been looking for this everywhere." He peeled open the space bags Katsuki had stored the blankets in to keep them clean, the fabric returning to normal in an instant. Deku pressed his nose into the fluffy, soft orange and black blanket, breathing deeply. "Mm, it smells like you."
"You're such a weirdo," Katsuki huffed, but they both knew he was pleased. He slowed the boat to a stop, dropping down onto the back to drop the anchor before joining Deku again on deck. The main deck was recessed providing some form of privacy from any prying eyes. Deku had spread the blankets out, layering them like Katsuki had planned with his favorite on the top. He pulled it around their shoulders as Katsuki sat.
The box that had been in his pocket all day was suddenly burning a hole in his pocket.
Deku snuggled close, head pressed to Katsuki shoulder as they leaned back against the mast. "Thank you so much, Kacchan. I don't think I could have thought of a more perfect way to spend our anniversary."
Katsuki's fingers were itching, palms sweating profusely as he tried to discreetly reach for the box. He had never been so acutely aware of his nerves and his many flaws in his entire life than in this one central moment. "Yeah," he said as calmly as he possibly could manage, but something must have still slipped through.
Lifting his head, Deku looked at him in concern. "Is something wrong?"
Not trusting his voice, Katsuki shook his head, swallowing. He'd managed to wedge the box out, but now his hands were shaking, and 'Fuck, how do people do this multiple times?' To put it simply, Katsuki was freaking out.
"Are you okay? Are you sick?" Deku sat back up, and Katsuki cursed his own nerves for making the nerd worried. Now Deku was all fluttery and stuttery and pressing cool fingers to his sweat slicked forehead. Instead of trying to get the words out, Katsuki simply lifted the green velvet box and pulled back the lid. Deku went completely silently.
They stared mutely at each other for long moments that passed seamlessly from one to the next as the sunset began to fade. Deku's mouth had flopped back open, eyes saucer wide as they flicked between Katsuki's face and the box. His answer was as wordless as his question.
Deku threw himself at Katsuki, pinning him to the deck as he pressed their mouths together. Despite his sudden movement, the kiss was slow and and gentle and searing. A kiss that had Katsuki's blood rushing, heart taking off at a sprint. No matter how long they'd been together, no matter how many kisses and touches they shared, Deku never failed to remind him that he was alive. That they were alive and together.
He opened beneath Deku's mouth, moaning his name quietly as he slid his hands beneath Deku's shirt and up his back.
Deku arched into his touch. When he pulled back, there was barely an inch between their mouths. "Are you going to ask me something?" he whispered, lips a butterfly's breath from Katsuki's. His body seemed to coil beneath Katsuki's hands, fingers tensing against the sides of his face.
"Izuku Midoriya, will you marry me?" Katsuki asked.
The noise that left Izuku's voice was not human in any sense of the word, but it didn't matter when he followed it with, "Yes!" He dived back in against Katsuki, body pressing as close as physically possible as he pressed an open mouthed kiss to Katsuki's waiting and wanting mouth.
Out of the camera's eye for the first time in what felt like years, they kissed until their mouths were red and swollen. When they were finally and truly alone, no other boats lingering nearby, they followed the heat of their kisses to their natural release. Lying together beneath the blanket of stars, naked and sated, Katsuki finally slipped the ring onto Izuku's finger. "We don't tell Icy-Hot about this part," Katsuki said, pulling Izuku onto his chest and running a hand down his bare back.
"No, this is just for us," Izuku agreed, "Finally."
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
『 adam brody. forty. cis male. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that DANIEL ABRAMS from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BROODING & -EVASIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool HORROR AUTHOR and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +DEBONAIR & +ELOQUENT. i hope i see them around again!
classically rolls in ridiculously late bc i forgot i had to work last night & then proceeded to sleep in today wooo !! good afternoon ghouls, it’s ya girl maia, finally here to deliver the definition of hot mess with good intentions.
GENERAL
FULL NAME. daniel elijah abrams.
NICKNAMES. dan, danny.
AGE & BIRTHDATE. 40 years old ; may 4, 1980.
GENDER & PRONOUNS. cis male ; he/him.
ORIENTATION. heterosexual.
MARITAL STATUS. estranged.
RELIGION. jewish ( non-practicing ).
OCCUPATION. horror author.
INSPIRATION. bill denbrough ( it ), donnie darko ( donnie darko ), lucas scott ( one tree hill ), stephen king.
PHYSICAL
HAIR COLOUR. black.
EYE COLOUR. dark brown.
BUILD. athletic.
MARKS. freckles scarcely spread across his entire body.
TATTOOS. none.
PIERCINGS. none.
HEIGHT. 5'11".
FACECLAIM. adam brody.
PERSONALITY
ZODIAC. taurus.
ALIGNMENT. chaotic neutral.
HOGWARTS. ravenclaw.
LABEL. the arcane.
POSITIVE TRAITS. cheeky, debonair, driven, eloquent, resilient, solicitous.
NEGATIVE TRAITS. brooding, evasive, inquisitive, sarcastic, stoic, stubborn.
HOBBIES. smokes like a chimney while writing until he forgets what day of the week it is, dabbles in hunting & fishing (thanks @ his dad), labels all crime / thriller genres as ‘predictable’ but continues to watch them, obsesses over & relentlessly criticizes his own work, drinks heavily & passionately plays moonlight sonata or fur elise as if he’s betoven’s disciple.
BACKGROUND
PLACE OF BIRTH. california.
CURRENT RESIDENCE. mapleview, north carolina.
NATIONALITY. american.
ETHNICITY. ashkenazi jewish.
PARENTS. judith miller & mr abrams.
SIBLINGS. mia miller.
BIRTH ORDER. eldest.
CHILDREN. penelope abrams.
EDUCATION. university of california, los angeles; bachelor of arts in english.
LANGUAGES. english, some spanish & french.
HISTORY
EARLY LIFE. born to THE judith miller and some newspaper editor, daniel was raised by the latter and notoriously abandoned by the former. well, not completely abandoned - there’s an old shoebox containing a few letters as proof - but that was the only source of communication in their otherwise absent relationship. while little danny boy didn’t fully understand why he couldn’t see his mother, he sought out an alternative solution by watching her movies. his father wasn’t aware, at first, and dan created this extravagant fantasy of the person he thought she was based on the roles she played. however, once papa abrams found out his son was watching these movies (which were probably not fit for children in the first place lmao oop), he begrudgingly revealed the bitter truth. being forced to come to terms with the fact that his own mother willingly abandoned him with his father, daniel didn’t fully understand what it meant; he couldn’t properly process why. the hurt of absent mother was expressed more out of anger, feeling as though there must have been something wrong with him. there were fewer and fewer letters sent to judith until he gave up altogether and thus, dan’s out of control behavior was born.
TEENAGE FEVER. SUICIDE MENTION TW. he struggled in school. his emotions betrayed him. instead of relishing a happy childhood, daniel found himself pushing everyone away, getting into fights, sneaking out late at night to run around the city streets with his friends and get into all sorts of trouble with them. he couldn’t count on his hands how many times the police picked him up and brought him to his dad’s doorstep. it only got worse once one of his best friends was found dead, written off as a suicide, though it didn’t add up in dan’s eyes and seemed so much more sinister. the young man was nearly deemed to be a lost cause, until he discovered his passion for writing.
language arts or literature was the last thing anyone would ever think to group with daniel abrams. but his english teacher noticed how well he could articulate his thoughts and feelings on paper, and submitted one of his pieces to a writing contest, which earned dan the win and a cash prize. bewildered by a talent he hadn’t even realized was in him, daniel embraced it. he started writing in a journal ( which he kept safely tucked away beneath the mattress of his bed ), documenting every feeling and thought as a way to express his emotions in a more productive manner. this talent earned him a full ride scholarship to ucla with a major in literature and plans of diving into some sort or creative writing career or perhaps becoming an english teacher, to follow in the footsteps of his high school teacher who he came to idolize.
mere days into his freshman year, however, his high school sweetheart showed up in the middle of the night at his dorm with a positive pregnancy test. it was then the chaotic world as he knew it turned a new leaf, revealing a silver lining in the form of their daughter, penelope, who daniel hadn’t a clue, just yet, would save him. and so a shotgun wedding was quickly planned around the pair, both families either completely supportive or in utter disbelief. it was quick, it was cheap(ish), and it was stressful as all heck. but they were young, and in love, and were looking forward to starting a family together, despite it being a little earlier than initially planned.
“ADULT”HOOD. fast forward five years, and they’re signing divorce papers. fortunately, it wasn’t messy. the two had simply grown apart as they matured in their respective ways, and remaining together was only causing a rift to develop between the two. the last thing they wanted, for the sake of their daughter, was built up resentment to tear the little family apart. his wife, who daniel initially thought to be the love of his life, blossomed into an absolute goddess; she was ambitious and knew exactly what she wanted. daniel, on the other hand, was still somewhat caught up in his ‘bad boy’ habits of drinking excessively and his career was still pretty up in the air. the two just didn’t compliment each others’ lifestyles anymore.
daniel moved out but remained in california, settling for a bachelor’s apartment where he was able to have penelope every weekend. during this time, he finally cracked down and worked on finishing a novel he’d started years prior. within a year, he found a publisher who took interest in his grotesque works, and by the time daniel was twenty seven, his first bestseller hit the shelves, changing his life for the better with the ability to provide for his daughter without stress of landing another odd job ever again.
as his fame increased, so did his desire to slink back into the shadows away from the limelight. at first, he enjoyed the wholesome book signings by day and grungy celebratory benders by night. but it grew old pretty fast and he certainly didn’t want to end up as another washed up shmuck. so, on a whim, daniel decided to move out of california completely, removing himself from the toxic lifestyle he’d grown accustomed to and shacking up on a beautiful piece of land in the rocky mountains of north carolina. the serenity and scenery certainly aided in his inspiration, as well as his unacknowledged lowkey addictions slowly being rehabilitated from his bloodstream.
OLD YELLER. now, in his utmost prime at forty years old, he’s written numerous cult classics, a few of which have successful movie adaptations. he was lucky enough to land himself in a second marriage, though.... that one is now deteriorating as well because he literally doesn’t know how to maintain a healthy relationship. he received full custody of his daughter when she was sixteen, under the unfortunate circumstance of her mother’s untimely death. although they’d been separated for nearly twenty years, daniel was still very much affected by the loss, more so empathetically for penelope. he’s still hooked on the drink, though he’s definitely calmed down quite a bit from when he was a young buck. basically a messy, depressy old soul who uses sarcasm to deflect his true feelings.
CONNECTIONS
ESTRANGED WIFE. first marriage was a bust, and the second is turning out to be no better. they haven’t hit rock bottom just yet, in his opinion (which would be finalizing a divorce lmao), and he’s unsure if they should work things out or not but also really.......doesn’t wanna go through the process of another divorce. plus he likes her and deep down adores their bickering. the reason(s) why things started falling apart between them can be discussed of course. lowkey debating on whippin this up as a big official wc but.... if anybody already here would like to snag it, i would 100% mclove it.
COLLABORATORS. literally anyone he’s worked with over the years, whether they be fellow authors, publishers/publicists, journalists, screenplay writers, etc. yeehooo the possibilities are endless !!
FOLLOWERS. anyone hooked on his books, whether devout fans from his early beginnings or people who newly discovered his fictional writings.
FORMER CLASSMATES. could be from high school or university, but he was in california for the better part of his life aka not a mapleview native. former friends to foes & anything in between. dan’s that one kid who spiked the punch bowl at all the dances and years later probably snuck in party favors to snort off the bathroom sink during their high school reunion lmao whew !!
ANYTHING. literally anything. i’m my groggy state of mind on my lack of creativity rn so please, i’m beggin. if daniel can enrich your characters’ lives in any way, shape, or form, hit me up and we’ll hatch a plan.
#———— 🥀 . 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙴𝙻 𝙰𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙼𝚂 ╱ DOSSIER .#mv:intro#alcoholism tw#abandonment tw#drug use tw#mommy issues tw#suicide mention tw#i think....that covers it?? if i missed anything pls let me know & ill tag accordingly#this is awful bc i rushed a wee bit buT#HOT DOG am i stupid excited to write with yall
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
november 16
l’amour parle en fleus by @scribbleb-red [requested by @fuzzballsheltiepants]
see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!
this is a wonderful and heartbreaking fic that deals with grief and the beauty of life. it is soft and sweet, while dealing with hard topics and loss. this fic is incomplete.
disclaimer: i reviewed this fic when it had 7 chapters, so no comments on chapter 8. sorry!
this fic was stunning and i was blown away by your amazing descriptions and imagery. everything is so vivid and feels real. i was so interested in the little pieces of andrew and neil’s stories and how they pieced together to bring them to this story.
parts that stood out to me:
”he had cut himself free of the roots of his past and planted new ones, blooming in a country that should never have belonged to him, yet matched the varying shades of his soul” wow, this is such a beautiful beginning to the story, the wording you used makes it read like poetry, especially the last part of the sentence
”not on that sun-drenched afternoon” oh this is wonderful
”bruises had stiffened his face into a mask” i love the way that you wrote this
it breaks my heart to see how affected andrew is by aaron’s death. although he tries his best to show it outwardly, andrew gave up so much of himself to protect aaron
ooh the house/property you’ve described sounds so nice. do you have something specific (like an existing house) that you’re referencing?
”maybe he’d make it a challenge to sleep in all of them” whatamood andrew
”the air was clean and full of grass, as if it had only ever been breathed by wild things” oh, this is so nice
cats! sounds like a dream, to be in a bnb and find out they have cats
it sounds like fun to read a book that someone has annotated. so much that you can learn about them through how they react to the events in the novel in comparison to what you feel or think
”liked how steady and quiet king was, how sir vocalised every time they wanted something” love that you had andrew highlight these characteristics, it seems very in character
”the sound of footsteps approaching an unlockable door” EXCUSE ME DID YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST SLIDE THIS IN AFTER “a number plate, a smile, a mist rising over a river” AND THINK I WOULD NOT NOTICE. LIKE IT’S NOT A DEVASTATING SENTENCE.
”his was a skull full of a thousand momento mori. aaron was just the latest” woah what a powerful two sentences
how cute that andrew keeps all of neil’s notes! sounds like something i would do haha
ohmygoodness neil singing is bringing me back to my french classes from a long long time ago (i can remember enough to kind of work out the english translations loool)
”because worst of all, nathaniel never seemed to notice him back. it rankled… didn’t the idiot care that he was killing the world over with that voice?” yeah okay andrew, you keep thinking that’s the reason you hate that neil doesn’t notice you.
woah you descriptions of the outside is absolutely gorgeous. the colours, descriptions, and imagery are so wonderful and overwhelming and beautiful. i get so lost in the sheer volume of it all, i forget about andrew’s anger (as i’m sure he also does, a little)
andrew picking up his cigarette butt is so lovely and fitting for this section of the story
AH IT’S NEIL
”and, as the folds of material were plucked at by the wind’s childish fingers, andrew followed the sharp lines of his collarbones, the smattering of freckles, strangely warped and wefted flesh” I LOVE THIS. the wording you used is absolutely amazing
NEIL HAS PIERCINGS AND HE KEEPS LAVENDER IN THEM THIS IS THE BEST
oh, the story of aaron giving andrew his hat is so soft, such a wonderful thing shared between the two of them. it’s so small, but for us who know how much of a struggle everything is with them, a constant push and pull, it’s everything.
neil’s loft sounds so nice, how did you come up with this idea?
also prickly neil is great, i love that you have this shortly after andrew goes to touch a plant and gets pricked because of it
”a stab of hatred lanced through andrew’s stomach, white-hot, easy. sweat rolled down the centre of his back, a sour coating filled the back of his throat” ahh your descriptions are so so good
”andrew replied, popping the ‘p’ like an eyeball under a thumb.” exCUSE ME LIKE WHAT??
also i am very much a fan of neil being super strong
uhhHHHH neil has a tongue piercing?? i think andrew actually vapourized in that moment
orange! tractor! adorable!
”apathy, his brain supplied, the opposite of anger, the inverse of hate” oh this is interesting. i guess i always automatically thought of love, but when i think of this, it seems so right. hate, anger are such strong emotions, overtaking everything, making it hard to think, feeling so so much, but the absence of that feeling? oh
”and neil was leaning forward, plucking the cigarette from andrew’s fingers and taking a drag, smoke spilling between his teeth when he grinned a grin like a knife blade. andrew felt it in his gut” !!! this!!!
”addiction left people brittle. left them dry as kindling and just as easy to burn” woah
i really cannot handle these boys
NEIL IS MISSING PART OF HIS FINGER, OH MY GOODNESS I AM LOSING IT HERE.
amazing bit about the garden, never thought about it that way. it’s so true
honestly, there is just so so much to unpack. love your description of the buzzing andrew is feeling, i really like hearing andrew’s thought process, how everything turns back to aaron, love the way that, even now, he can read neil so well
THE TWINYARD EMBRACE. THE WAY THEY HOLD EACH OTHER. “‘you killed him,’ andrew said. ‘you killed her,’ replied aaron.” THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT THEY HAVE PROTECTED EACH OTHER. THE BEGINNING OF JOINT THERAPY. THEY WAY THAT THEY SLOWLY LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER IN A WAY THAT’S MORE HEALTHY.
ahhhhh andrew talking to neil? this is so so good to see his progress, to see how he’s working through his grieving
oh boy, loving the little rivalry that eduard brings, the kind of tension heh
this town/market sounds amazing, so beautiful
IN THE GAME. OH DANG EDUARD YOU ARE NOT THE FARMER BOY WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR NEIL THAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE
”’well… like an american,’ said neil, like it explained everything. and it did, like a fire hissing out in the rain, andrew felt his shoulders relax, his ire cool” ahh so nice.
”because neil was so much give, when andrew needed to take” oh this is so interesting!
”neil shouldn’t be allowed to just vanish” AHH
”andrew shouldn’t have lashed out, sneered at neil’s story and spot on his honesty” NOOO ANDREW WHY
”his scars were the noughts to andrew’s crosses” oh this is so nice (like, not nice, but you know)
woah it’s really interesting hearing neil’s story while also having andrew’s commentary available with his knowledge from school. to see the personal side of it and also what was portrayed to the public
as much as i love neil with long curly hair, him with a buzzed look has me interested. paired with his cheekbones and his eyes, woahhhhh
”it looked like he’d been bled of life, colours fading until he became a negative of himself or an older version of the hollow-eyed teenager from the newspapers all those years ago.” i think this is my favourite sentence of this fic so far. makes me hurt.
AARON USED TO CALL ANDREW A TURNIP THAT IS SO ADORABLE I WANT PEOPLE TO CALL ME TURNIP (wait i just looked up what it means and although it is true i have no brains i was thinking in an affectionate way. turnips look really cute and are tiny lol)
ahhh neil in his bed in the barn during the storm ;-;
i love how you incorporated consent into andrew anchoring neil from his panic with the hand on his neck
ohmygoodness i cannot believe that neil has a PALMETTO HOODIE WITH A NAME AND NUMBER ON IT AH
”they took long walks through the fields and along the mountain paths, navigating the rocky terrain of andrew’s grief and neil’s jagged history that came so painfully close to intertwining with andrew’s own” oh this is such a beautiful sentence
NEIL HAS WATCHED ANDREW’S INTERVIEWS EXCUSE ME WHAT THAT IS SO CUTE
”he caught his reflection in the mirror and saw only himself” THIS IS AMAZING. what a transition that we get to see andrew experience
”for months andrew’s mind was a jagged thing, not knowing what he wanted or what he needed” !!
ooh love the acknowledgement that younger andrew would have denied his feelings but he’s more mature now and is more in tune with his emotions and wants!! amazing
”dinner with neil was an abundant thing. odd choice of word, but it was the only way andrew could describe it” it is an odd choice, but at the same time i think i understand it?
oh. andrew’s dream of aaron in the field. it’s so sad and soft and makes me feel blurry around the edges. what a contrast to the evening with neil. i like it though. you don’t just get over grieving. it gets better and it gets worse. it comes back again and again, even when you think it will not return. “wait for me. wait for me” i love what this adds, it feels so right
”andrew pressed every lane and shady square between the pages of his memory” so wonderful
PARLE EN FLEURS. EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW.
woah aaron’s story was intense and well-told. things make a lot more sense now.
love that andrew sends nicky pictures to show everything, to share without words. they have such a unique relationship, they both care so much but are so different in the way that they show it sometimes it clashes
”it’s not the kind of pain that can be quantified. and it will still hurt in a year, in five, in ten”
i mostly skimmed the last chapter because i know that i easily internalize the thoughts and feelings that come when people write depression.
i love the way that you structured this fic. the chapter titles are perfect because throughout the fic we see andrew’s healing and grieving. it’s subtle, but he clearly shifts through the different stages that you include and i’m really impressed by how seamlessly you incorporated that into the fic. the fic’s focus slowly transfers from aaron to neil so naturally that you almost don’t notice it until you take a step away for a moment.
you do such a marvelous job with the descriptions of this fic, i liked so so many sentences that i could not possibly mention them all. the town and the fields and the surroundings sound so beautiful and stunning, you made everything so vibrant and alive. all the colours and textures and words that you used really established an amazing backdrop to the story you wrote.
and the story, i loved your approach to this, it’s very realistic. the interactions between andrew and neil are pure and natural and don’t seem forced. you created complicated, intricate relationships between all the characters, brought up the difficulty of expressing emotions and feelings with people, and trust that was built. i liked the way that you wrote the characters, and i adore neil with his flower piercings. thank you so much for writing this fic! i can’t wait to see what comes next!
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Glory
A/N: *Emerges from my cave and months of inactivity* Hey guys. I watched the new music video. so uh... yeah. Enjoy!
"Can I tell you a story?”
You snuggle closer to Dan, smiling at his words. “Of course you can.” You grab the bottle of liquor from him, taking a swig. The liquid burns down your throat, but you relish in the warmth that pools through you.
Dan looks up to the sky, a small smile on his face. “Once upon a time, there was a sweet, innocent boy, and a beautiful, incredible girl.”
You snort in derision. “There’s hardly anything innocent about that boy.”
A dark bar, the air heavy with the scent of old cigars, sweat, old love, lost love, new love. The strands of your pink wig whirl around as you laugh and dance, almost oblivious to the sudden disappearance of your car keys.
Almost.
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the thief in the act as he swipes your keys from your table and hurries off outside. Eyes widening in panic and anger, you abandon your partner and wind through the bodies of people to run outside.
“Hey!” The stranger stops in his tracks. “I saw what you did, bastard. Give them back, now.”
The stranger turns around, and you’re confronted with a lanky man with high cheekbones, wild, dark hair, a somewhat bashful grin, and the darkest, bluest eyes you’ve ever seen. They seem to pierce right through you.
“Oh, these are yours?” He gives an unconvincing laugh. Your scowl deepens, though you take note of the obviously British accent. “Sorry... I was only going to borrow it.”
You quirk an eyebrow. “Really?” you deadpan, completely unconvinced.
The stranger nods, eyebrows drawing together into a pitiful, earnest look. “My friends and I are racing to see who can get to the Joshua Tree National Park. I... would’ve given it back, promise!”
You know his story is complete bullshit, but you can’t help but smirk all the same. There was something about this guy...
“I’ll drive you there, alright?”
The stranger looks up at you, surprise lighting up in his eyes. “Sorry?”
You cross your arms. Your smirk evens out into a full smile. “I’ll take you to the national park.”
“It’s a ways away.”
“Then let’s road trip. You pay for gas, I get to sleep in the backseat, and we’ll take turns driving. Deal?”
The stranger doesn’t move for a moment, clearly contemplating the plan, before he steps toward you and sticks out his hand. You shake it.
“Deal.”
“I was only going to borrow it...”
You laugh at Dan’s feeble attempt to defend himself.
“... besides, it’s a shit car anyway. Someone was bound to steal it. You’re lucky it was only me.”
You pout, patting the metal hood you and Dan are lying on. “Excuse me, it’s a classic.”
Dan shakes his head, relinquishing the argument to you. “Right.”
You poke his side. “And what happened, on that trip?”
Dan tilts his head, looking up at the inky black sky. “Oh, the boy and girl started off rocky. It was such a split decision, neither one knew how to act.” He intertwines his fingers with yours, gazing down at it reminiscently. “But then, the girl started talking. About her interests, her dreams, her view of the universe. And slowly, yet surely, the boy started to fall in love.”
You feel yourself start to redden, so you roll your eyes and nudge him playfully with your shoulders. “Really though, what fantastical adventures did these kids go on?”
Dan hums. “Well, there was that time the boy jumped into someone else’s pool with his clothes still on...”
The water is still, quiet and, above all else, cold. Your breath fogs up in front of you, a reminder of the childhood days when your imagination transformed you into a fearsome dragon. The stranger -- Dan, his name is -- tugs on your hand impatiently. “Come on, let’s jump in the water!”
“Dan, you’re still dressed!” Your words are lost behind you as a string of giggles bursts from you.
Dan looks back with that now-familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “Come on!”
“Okay, okay,” you pant out, ripping your hand from his. You look uncertainly at the icy water. “Okay... on the count of three.”
Dan grins and nods. He looks at the water, obviously mentally bracing himself. “One...”
You bend your knees. “Two...”
“Three!” Dan leaps into the water with a yell. The sheet of still water shatters as Dan hits the surface.
Meanwhile, you’re still on dry land, laughing as Dan splutters to the surface, looks around for you, and proceeds to give you the finger when he realises you hadn’t jumped.
You smile fondly at the memory, except...
“It was a lake, not someone’s pool!”
Dan shrugs. “Either way, you lied to me about jumping in together.”
Rather than reply to his accusation, you take another swig of the bottle. “What about that time the guy dared the girl to run through some stranger’s house?”
“I’m getting to that part!” Dan grabs the bottle back indignantly. “Now where was I...”
The car comes to a sudden stop in the middle of a quaint, suburban neighbourhood. You jolt awake from your nap to find the vehicle sitting idle in front of a house. The front door is open, with only the screen door barring the way inside.
Dan turns to you with a crooked, devilish smile. “I dare you to run through that house.”
You stare back at Dan for a heartbeat before bursting out laughing. “Yeah, sure. Lemme just solicit through and trespass on private property. I might even get lucky and get shot.”
“I’ll drive for the next twelve hours, and I’ll buy you dinner.”
You quirk your brow at that. Now that’s a more intriguing offer. “And I just have to run through, yeah?”
Dan nods.
You tap your chin. “Drop the 12-hour drive, but you have to come with me.”
Dan grins, sticking his hand out. You shake it hard. “Deal.”
You open the door and step out of the car, walking nervously up to the door. A part of you hopes that the handle won’t turn, or that the door would still be locked, but the door opens with ease. You step in, looking cautiously around. You glance back at Dan, beckoning him in before you sprint through the modern-looking house, Dan in tow. You give a squeal when you find two elderly couple on the couch, absolute confusion and panic written all over their faces.
“Sorry, pardon me!” Dan shouts behind him as you make a beeline for the back door. You hear the old man shout behind you, but you and Dan are already out the door and running back to the front.
You jump into driver’s seat. “Come on!”
Dan wrenches the door open the ducks quickly into the passenger side. The wheels squeal loudly as you stomp on the accelerator. The car shoots forward and you glance at the rearview mirror to find the couple running outside. The old man raises his fist angrily at the car, and you and Dan laugh almost maniacally as the adrenaline rushes through you.
“And the old man even had a gun!”
You throw your head back in a loud laugh. “What?!”
Dan looks at you with a serious expression, but you can see the mirth in his eyes. “Yeah, that definitely happened. We could’ve died!”
You scoff playfully. “Yeah, sure.” You snuggle closer to Dan, and you feel his arm hug you protectively. “Remember that dance class? You didn’t even want to try...”
Dan’s face, etched in embarrassment, as he looks at the groups of people in the dance studio milling around. “I’m not sure about this.”
You latch on to his arm, smiling encouragingly at him. “I am. And I’m always right.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Right, I forgot.”
You grin as you pull Dan into the studio. “Come on!”
Dan hum in disagreement. “What are you on about? I totally outdanced you.”
Dan gives his full, toothy smile at you, his eyes practically sparkling despite the relative darkness of the studio. He’s drenched in sweat and his moves are still jerky and awkward, but you lean in to hug him regardless.
“You were great, Dan,” you tell him. You don’t see his expression, but he gives you an extra squeeze before pulling back. His face has a strange expression on it, but you can’t pin down what it is.
“Thank you.”
“Right, that’s why you’re such a great dancer now.” You laugh as Dan shoves you. Had it not been for his arm, you probably would’ve gone sliding off.
Dan leans his head against yours. “And finally, when the boy and the girl, after so many miles and so many days, reached the national park, the boy revealed his big secret...”
“I actually didn’t have a crazy race with my friends here.”
You roll your eyes, leaning your head on Dan’s shoulders. Both your legs are hung over the edge, swinging carefree over the hundred-foot drop. “I figured when you didn’t even so much as talk about them during the entire trip.” You lift your head to look at Dan. The sunset, with the pink hues, strikes his face and accentuate all of his most special features. The curve of his cheekbones. Each long, sweeping eyelash. The freckles splashed over his nose and below his eyes. A faint breeze ruffles his wild hair. “But tell me. Why did you steal my keys in the first place?”
Dan smiles, looking down at your intertwined fingers. “Well... I wanted to grab your attention. Seeing you dance up on that table, with that bright wig, and those beautiful eyes... I knew I had to grab your attention somehow.”
You laugh, though you can feel yourself blushing. You know the sunset is highlighting your now-rosy cheeks. “That could’ve backfired so hard, though.”
Dan lifts his hand to your face, his thumb trace up and down your cheek as he leans forward. “Maybe, but this has surpassed even my wildest dreams.”
You smile softly back and let your eyes flutter closed. And in that darkness, in that silence, you feel his lips touch yours.
You open your eyes and pull away from Dan’s kiss at a large rumble in the sky. You and Dan look up just in time to see a large jet lift up from the ground. It soars through the air and into the inky night sky.
You snuggle back into Dan’s body. “You tell it differently every time,” you say softly.
Dan returns with his special crooked grin. “Well, I like my version better.”
~~~~~ willyumfarquarson ~~~~~
#imagine#Dan Smith#bastille#Imagine Dan Smith#Imagine Bastille#Bastille ficlet#Dan Smith ficlet#fic#ficlet#music video#glory
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Ex Mess
Request: The reader is an engineer of the stellar fleet and left with Doctor McCoy on mission, the mission is to find his ex-wife who is exploring a new planet with her current husband, but as always he is in a bad mood and you like him but do not admit And finds this way of him very attractive, but always ends up beating him because of his rude way and this mission ends up leaving you jealous of Doctor McCoy with the ex-wife and you end up revealing your feelings for him and now which Will Doctor McCoy's reaction be? - @lia-barnes
Prompts: “This is true love; you think this happens every day?”, “You gonna kiss me or can I finish my sandwich?”, “You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.”, “He’s too attractive. I don’t trust him.", “On a scale of one to ten… how illegal do you think doing this is?”
A/N: So apparently AOS Bones was married to someone named Pamela Branch instead of Jocelyn, but that dumb and no one cares so we’re going to pretend that they didn’t changed that.
Doctor McCoy slid into the chair beside you. “Any idea what this is about?”
“Nope. But I hope it involves a surprise party.” You patted your stomach. “I got a craving for cake.”
He raised a brow as he looked at you out of the corner of his eye. “You think our mission is a surprise party?”
You shrugged, “It’s happened before.”
“It’s not a surprise party,” Kirk said, getting your attention. “Jocelyn and Clay Treadway have gone missing on the planet below.”
The second the words left his mouth, Doctor McCoy started coughing. You slowly turned your attention away from the captain and the pictures on the screens behind him to Doctor McCoy. His face was turning several different shades of red.
“You ok?”
Finally getting control of his breathing, he shot Kirk a glare. “Dammit, Jim. Isn’t there someone else you can send to find my ex wife?”
“Come on, Bones. This’ll be good for you.” He clapped his hands together. “Alright. Here’s what we know.”
As he spoke you shifted your gaze back and forth between the doctor and the woman being displayed on the wall across from you.
“If you don’t close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” he whispered.
“Sorry.” You flopped back against your chair. “Just didn’t realise you were into the whole gorgeous redhead thing.”
He looked over at you. “What did think I was into?”
“Oh, you know, grotesque monstrosities with three horns and a lopsided hump.”
“Three horned monstrosities are a rarity in Georgia.”
“Do you think you could discuss what Bones’ type is on your own time?” Kirk asked impatiently.
“Right. Mission.” You point at him. “So we go down to the planet. Find McCoy’s ex and her replacement McCoy. Then I fix their ship and send them on their merry way.” You motioned out each action with your hands. “Yeah?”
Kirk looked at all the data he had been trying to brief you on then back to you. “More or less.”
“Great.” Spinning your chair away from the table, you lept to your feet. “Let’s go.” You started towards the door, but when you glanced over your shoulder you noticed Doctor McCoy hadn’t moved. “Let’s go,” you repeated with more emphasis.
He crossed his arms. “I’m good.”
“The sooner we leave the sooner this will be over,” you persuaded.
When he remained unmoving, you lifted an arm, beckoning him forward. He stared at you with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, before heaving out a heavy, labored sigh and standing up. As he trudged towards you, you gave Kirk a smile and a wave.
“When I get back you and I are going to have words,” Doctor McCoy growled, gesturing at Kirk.
“And I’m sure they will be just as kindly spoken as the ones we’ll have if I have to say ‘let’s go again’,” you said, dragging Doctor McCoy into the hall.
Neither of you said anything as you made your way through the ship. The closer you got to the transporter the angrier he got. By the time you were walking into the transporter room, you could practically see steam coming out of his ears.
“Hey,” you smiled as you walked over to Scotty.
“Hey.” He waved an ensign with a jacket and tool kit over. “Heard this was about the ex.”
After risking a quick glance over your shoulder and Doctor McCoy, who was tugging on his own jacket, you nodded, “Yeah, and he is pissed.”
“I’d imagine so.”
“You know she’s gorgeous? Some red haired, freckled faced cutie, who Doctor McCoy probably still has feelings for ‘cause how could he not. All that history. Who wouldn’t?,” you grumbled, yanking your jacket up over your arms and zipped it, “And now he’s going to be crabby the whole day and be hard to work with.”
“Aye, but you like it when he’s crabby. Think it makes him sexy,” he said, waggling his eyebrows and holding out your tool box.
“Shut up.” You snatched the box from him. “How do I look?”
“Ready to work, jealous, and just a tad desperate.”
“Perfect.” You went to join Doctor McCoy on the transporter pad.
“You two done gossiping?” he grumbled.
“For now.” You turned around to face the rest of the engineers in the room. “He’s going to call me if he gets an update on Kenseer’s love affair with the nurse.”
“Weren't you of the ‘the sooner we leave the sooner this will be over’ philosophy?”
“Yeah, so let’s get this show on the road.”
“We’re have a wee bit of trouble tracking heat signatures, so we’re just goin’ pop ye off by their ship and let ye make yer way to them,” Scotty informed you, sitting down at the console.
“Alright,” Doctor McCoy said with a complete lack of interest.
“Wait, this is my tool box right?” The words weren’t even all the way out of your mouth before you were engulfed in golden light. Seconds later you were on the ground by a small ship. A mountain range surrounded you in a large, uneven hoop.
Doctor McCoy looked at you. “What was that about?”
“Scotty gets annoyed by what he calls my ‘weird over attachment’ to my tool box,” you told him as you looked around the ship. “And usually refuses to answer, but I thought it was worth a shot.”
“Aren’t they all the same?”
“I put things in the lining of mine. Foot prints. Guess were going that way.” You started to follow the two sets of footprints leading away from the ship.
“What things?” Something in his tone told you he didn’t really want to know.
Taking a side step so that you could see behind you, you saw that once again he wasn’t moving. “Cocaine, throwing knives, and government secrets.” You cocked your head down the path. “Come on.”
“I might need one of those in a bit,” he muttered, taking a few steps so he was beside you.
“You better be talking about the government secrets.” As you started walking, leaving your own footprints alongside the ones already in the dirt, you stared up at his heavy set scowl and you lost your joking manner. “Was it really that bad?”
“Ever hear of a good breakup?” Doctor McCoy shoved his hands into his pockets and sucked in a breath. “We were happy. I mean, really happy. They kind of happy that you only see in really sappy romcoms. Then Clay came back into the picture and it all kinda fell to shit. When she left me for him she actually used the line: ‘This is true love; you think this happens every day?’.” He let out a humorless laugh.
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. We tried to keep the divorce under control for Joanna’s sake, but it just kept escalating. In the end she got everything.” He turned his face skyward. “Including Joanna.”
“Damn.” You stared out at the mountain tops. “Your anger’s totally justified.”
“My anger’s always justified.”
“Debateable.”
The trail led you past a sparse speckling of trees and into a rocky terrain. You looked around, trying to take it all in and ignore all the questions bouncing around in your head.
“Do you still love her?” You regretted it the second you said it.
“Could we talk about something else? Or better yet, not at all.”
“So that’s a yes.” You weren’t sure what you expected. “Maybe the two of you will make up. Become friends again,” you hoped he couldn’t pick up on the fact that was the last thing you wanted
“I don’t think that dog’ll hunt,” he grumbled, following you in a large cave.
“Aw but you’re so friendly,” you quipped.
“Any chance you’re going to be done with this conversation soon?”
You lifted your chin so that you could see the high rock ceiling. “We could talk about how we spend about twice as much more time in caves as average people.”
“Or we could walk in silence.”
Making a noise somewhere between a chuckle a sound of agreement, you took a few diagonal steps that landed you closer to the wall as most of the ground dropped off seval feet below you. You had to lean back slightly as you walked down the steep, winding ledge. When you finally neared the bottom, you could see a man, banging his fist against a piece of equipment.
“Jesus,” you whispered, turned so that your back was against the wall and you could see both the man and Doctor McCoy without turning your head, “Is that Clay? Uh huh. No. It’s even worse in person. He’s too attractive. I don’t trust him.” You leaned sideways so that you could see around the rocks currently hiding you. “And there’s Jocelyn. All banged up and she still looks like a god damned angel. What is in the water in Georgia? I mean really? Is it the peaches? Should I be eating more peaches?”
“Take a breath or close your eyes or something,” Doctor McCoy muttered, “Or I’m gonna sedate you just to shut you up.”
“Sorry.”
“Honey, I really don’t think banging on that thing is gonna help,” Jocelyn said from around the bend.
You gave Doctor McCoy a half smile and patted his chest, before stepping out on the level ground and plucking the device out of Clay’s grasp. “No, but I will.”
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” he asked.
“This is (Y/N),” Doctor McCoy told him, coming up behind you, “Not big on hellos or asking for permission.”
“I am however big on using my vast skills and knowledge to help people. Don’t worry. Your scanner’s safe with me.” You dropped to the dirt with your legs folded in front of you. “Leonard, I think the lady’s in need of your vast skills and knowledge.”
He made eye contact with you briefly like he was trying to tell you something without having to say it out loud, but before you could fully decipher his message he was walking off towards Jocelyn. You watched him squat down in front of her with his tricorder, noticing the leftover care and tenderness under the resentment and bitterness, before hastily dropping your gaze down to the busted scanner.
“What happened?” You couldn’t help but compare it to the way he asked you that question and you hated yourself for it.
“Some rocks dislodged and I fell down here,” she answered.
“And where’s Joanna? Did you just leave her alone on Earth so the two of you could go romping around the galaxy?”
“Leaving your daughter so you can go to space? I’m sure you can’t relate to that.”
“You took her from me. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit around to watch you fall in love with your soul mate all over again,” he bit out.
She sighed, “She’s with my mother.”
“Oh, yeah, that makes me feel much better. Good to know she’ll be married off by the time I get home,” he said sarcastically.
“Hey, her set ups can be great.”
“Right. That’s why you left with me at the school dance instead of Clay.”
Oh, good they were highschool sweethearts. That’s what you wanted to hear.
“How’s it going down there?” You looked up at Clay. He looked how you felt.
“You’re good to go.” You screwed on the back panel and tossed it up to him. Getting to your feet you announced, “I’m going to go work on the ship. I’ll see you guys there.”
Doctor McCoy looked liked he wanted to say something to you, but waggled your fingers at him and started your ascent back up to the surface. It didn’t take you long to get back to the ship and even less time to figure out what was wrong with their ship. You had your back pressed to the floor and were putting a few wires back in place when they got back. The unmistakable sound of Doctor McCoy's laugh echoed through the cabin. So much for his bad attitude. Gritting your teeth, you finished putting the wires in place.
After a couple seconds, you heard him again, “Ok, just go easy on that leg for a while and you should be fine. I’m gonna go check on (Y/N).”
“I’m in the back,” you called.
“Hey.” He leaned up against the doorframe. “Thanks for leaving me there.”
“You seemed to be doing just fine from where I was sitting.” You held up the panel and made sure it was staying put.
“Then maybe you should come out from under there so you can have an unobstructed view.”
Pushing yourself out from under the console you were working on, you sat up. “Just for the record,” You brandished the decoupler in your hand at him. “I’m coming out because I’m done, not because of you.”
As you got to your feet and started typing at the computer, he sighed, “How much longer is this going to take?”
“I’ve have to make sure everythings working again.”
“Which is code for?”
“Snooping and reading their personal logs,” you beamed over your shoulder at him.
“Damnit. Can’t you snoop on someone else. I don’t want to know anything about their perfect lives. Besides I’m starved.”
You kicked your tool box back to him.
“I’m not eating your tools.”
“Under the tools, dummy.”
He crouched down and lifted the lining out of the box.
“Cocaine sure looks different than it did back in my day,” he said, lifting up a plastic baggie with a ham sandwich in it.
“I only carry the best.” You clicked through the files. “Oh, hey looks like your pal Clay is in the Diplomatic Corps.”
“Don’t you think pal is a strong word to just be throwing around like that?”
“Well, whatever he is he knows some pretty big stuff and he’s just leaving it unprotected… somewhat unprotected on his own private computer in his own private ship.” You scrolled through the documents. “I could actually hide government secrets in the lining of my tool box now.”
“There are laws against these kinds of things,” he reminded you.
“Right. On a scale of one to ten… how illegal do you think doing this is?”
“Ok.” He walked over and turned off the screen. “Systems check’s over.”
“Party pooper,” you grumbled.
Rolling his eyes, Doctor McCoy went to lean against the railing around the engine and ended up staring out into the next room.
“They sort of have the perfect life, don’t they? Great job, great daughter, stupid goddamn unkillable love for each other.” He bit into the sandwich.
You were going to make some snarky comment that would leave you securely in your comfort zone, but something about the way he watched her from the other room made you change your mind. “If you ask me, she made the wrong choice.”
He raised his eyebrows.
You looked back out at the Treadways. “I’m just saying she missed out years of grade A grouchy sarcasm and the biggest ass heart of gold I’ve seen in my in entire life. Carrot top's a bonafide idiot.”
“You gonna kiss me or can I finish my sandwich?”
Snapping your head back to him, you gaped at the small smirk making its way onto his face.
“Are those my only options? Because there’s no way in hell I’m kissing you on Jocelyn’s ship. Plus you're getting a little smug.”
He stepped closer to you. “You’re cute when you're jealous.”
“You’re a crotchety shit when you’re jealous.” You leaned in and whispered, “And I’m still not kissing you on this ship.”
“Then I guess we better get off this ship,”
#Bones#bones imagine#bones x reader#Leonard McCoy#leonard mccoy imagine#leonard mccoy x reader#star trek#star trek imagine
415 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blue Lion Log: Entry 16
Update:
Hunk is awake, and it seems he’ll make a full recovery. It was easier to fix him up with him telling me where and how he was hurting. Thankfully, his injuries are mostly bruising and what appears to be a sprained wrist, but that’s easy to bounce back from. It won’t hold him down for long.
He’s been catching me up on what happened to him and Pidge after they got captured. Apparently they were separated from their lions and sent to a different ship pretty quickly. The Galrans probably didn’t want to risk them breaking out and taking the lions, because they totally would have. Of that, I have no doubt.
Hunk was the only one to get away though. Pidge managed to hack through their cell door and get Hunk into the hangar with the fighter jets, but the Galrans caught on too quickly. Pidge held them off while Hunk escaped. Him finding his way here, to the planet I’d made my own, was pure luck though. He’d just been looking for a place to hide and found me instead. So I guess the universe is still looking out for him, at the very least.
And I… I’ve been better.
Right now, I’m just a little bit of wreck, trying to hold myself together by the thinnest of strings. I can’t afford to fall apart here, even if that’s all I really want to do. Just crumble to the ground and sob. Lose myself in the pain. Let all of the fear and the anger and the sorrow consume me so I don’t have to think about anything beyond this moment. So I don’t have to picture yet another future without Keith by my side.
I still can’t believe Keith’s switched sides on us. I just… it doesn’t make sense to me. He’d said he never would, that he might have some Galra DNA but it would never change his mind, that he couldn’t ever condone what Zarkon was doing. And I trusted him. Like with every other promise Keith made, I trusted him, because I’m young and naive and stupid, and stupidly in love with this reckless boy that I stupidly thought might love me back.
I can’t believe that was a lie though.That everything we went through-- all those nights spent curled together, mapping each other’s skin in silent reverence; those mornings spent just drinking each other in, pressing lazy kisses against every freckle, every scar, every inch of bare skin we could get our hands on; the overwhelming relief at seeing each other alive and whole after a dangerous mission; the days when Keith would tackle me onto our bed and not allow me to leave until he was practically glowing from satisfaction-- was all a lie.
Maybe I was just easily duped. It wouldn’t be the first time. But, in this case, that doesn’t make sense to me either. I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that Keith and I had a very rocky start to our relationship, and that for the first year and a half of knowing him I didn’t trust him at all. In fact, I didn’t want anything to do with him except to kick his ass.
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before, but Keith was at the Garrison academy at the same time Hunk and I were. He was fighter class; the class I wanted to be in but didn’t have the grades to achieve until Keith got kicked out. I was insanely jealous of him for the longest time. I wanted everything that seemed to come so naturally to him: the position, the skills, the admiration of both classmates and instructors. And maybe I was a horrible person back then, but all I could think when I heard the news about Keith was “thank god” and “finally,” even though I knew exactly why Keith had gotten the boot.
Everyone knew, to be honest. It’s not like Keith had secretly broken into Garrison files or anything, like someone else I know. No, there was no way even the Garrison could keep Keith’s theft of a fighter jet secret, especially after they brought him in for a disciplinary hearing and he chastised all the commanders for just leaving Shiro to die out there. For not even attempting to retrieve him or his crew.
I still remember the indignant echo of Keith’s voice in the academy’s auditorium, where the officers had called all the cadets to witness the punishment of their prodigy pilot. He’d stood before the officers, shoulders back and chin lifted in defiance, and calmly listed every infraction of procedure and every way the Garrison had failed Shiro’s crew while the officers sat dumbfounded.
“How could you let them down this way?” Keith had demanded as the officers stared in silent shock. They’d meant to make an example of him, but ended up being made into fools. I, grudgingly, admired him for that.
But even then, even knowing why he’d been kicked out and respecting what he’d done, I’d still been so glad to be rid of him the next year. I thought I’d finally be able to prove myself with Keith, the Garrison’s little darling, out of the way.
At least, I thought that way until I started failing all my classes, and then I hated Keith even more for setting such high expectations that I’d never be able to reach.
Not exactly the best way to begin a relationship, right? Or even a friendship. There were a lot of negative feelings there that took a very long time to go away. Even after several months of being paladins together, any time I saw Keith I couldn’t help but think of him as that rival from my Garrison days, of how much I wanted to beat him and be seen as better than him. I wouldn’t let him close at all, even when he started making attempts at getting to know me better.
So you see, it wouldn’t have been easy to trick me into caring with that much bad blood between us, regardless of whether Keith felt the same animosity or not. If Keith’s interest, if his concern and care, hadn’t been genuine back then, I would have realized. I wouldn’t have let myself thaw to his attempts. I wouldn’t have let myself grow to care.
No, whatever decision that led to Keith joining the Galra must have occurred after he and I had settled our disputes, when I might have possibly been blinded by my concern for him. But I can’t quite believe that either, because once I started caring, once I allowed myself to accept the feelings I had for him, Keith was all I could think about. My every sense seemed to be tuned into and filtered through him and how he viewed our situation.
I just can’t figure out where everything went wrong. What was it that I missed? Was there something happening that I just didn’t pick up on? That I didn’t see? That I could have fixed?
The only possibility I can think of is that at some point after Shiro died, when Keith was at his absolute lowest, he started changing. Started thinking and seeing things differently, but in such a subtle way that it got lost in the rest of the wreckage that he was. After all, there were so many other pieces of him I was trying to pick up and glue back together. This change in his thinking might have completely slipped past me, left to grow and fester until all that was left was this. This Keith that I don’t know or understand.
Hunk says… Hunk says he’s working as a commander under Zarkon now. Or maybe a lieutenant commander. Someone with a decent amount of power and access to a whole bunch of Galra fighter jets that he can order into battle while he stays safe in the command ship.
That doesn’t sound like my Keith though. My Keith would never pass up a chance to fly, even if that chance involves flying straight into the heart of battle. He wouldn’t even stop to think about it, he’d just go. My Keith would make himself the first in line while the rest of us just tried to catch up. He’d take on half the battle’s burden just by himself. He’d never ask anyone else to do what he himself wasn’t willing to.
My Keith never would have left us in the first place.
I guess, in that sense, Hunk was right. This isn’t the Keith I know. This Keith, this new Galran soldier, isn’t my Keith. Was never my Keith. Will never again be my Keith. And I just have to accept that fact and let him go. Let him become our enemy instead.
But god, it’s so difficult. And knowing he’s alive but out of reach makes it even worse. Somehow the unknown of captivity and the assumption that Keith was dead was easier to bear, because at least then I didn’t have to worry about eventually facing him in battle. I could treasure the moments we had together without having to analyze them all. Without doubting the one thing I’d thought I’d gotten right in this life. This is tearing a jagged hole right through my chest. It feels like all of me is just bleeding out and freezing over on the snow floor of our cave. I just want the pain to stop.
How do you forget someone you love? How do you force your heart to stop caring? How do you let go of your other half?
#blue lion logs#fic: aperture#voltron fic#voltron legendary defender#voltron#vld fic#klance#lance mcclain#klance fic
44 notes
·
View notes