#i told my friend i would go to a con with her in december and paid for my portion already but i kept getting super depressed thinking about

[zafiro-anyejo]

.

[velocesainz]

Cinema

F1 masterlist | Main masterlist |

Summary: Charles is forced by Carlos to go watch an English movie with him at the theater since you are one of Carlos's best friends, he happens to take quite a liking to you not knowing Carlos's love for you. What will happen when you all of you meet at a house party?

Warnings: smuttyyyy (threesome) minors dni

Pairing: Charles x actress!reader x Carlos

Charles POV:

Carlos is currently in the process of dragging me to one of the biggest theatres in Maranello.

Why?

Because his best friend recently released a new film.

I'm offended that I'm not Carlos's best friend, and also I did not know that Carlos had a girl best friend let alone one who is an actress.

I looked her up on the way to the theatre and turns out she's one of the most famous actresses today and my oh my, was she beautiful.

We got to the theatre and Carlos got us some tickets and popcorn. He rushed me into the theatre and we sat down in our seats as we watched the movie: May December. (Guys please watch it's such a good movie)

That was one hard one to take, vet complex. Yet y/n's acting was perfect and I understood even the most complicated details.

"Mate she's such a good actress and so beautiful! Why haven't you told me about your "best friend" before?" I asked Carlos wondering why he had hidden y/n from my knowledge. As far as I knew we shared all our life stories with eachother.

Carlos shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know mate, I didn't want to tell you because I know you'd find her attractive. I've been in love with her for years and idk, you're someone that everyone easily seems to fall in love with" Carlos confessed. I wasn't so sure that I would be able to keep my hands off of her

"let's go mate, it's getting late" I said to ease the tension.

With that we left the theatre and got back to our hotel rooms. Tomorrow we had a small house party at Pierre's house in Milan so I knew I wouldn't get sleep the next day.

Timeskip

I dressed up for the party, throwing in a simple white button up with blue jeans pairing some jewelry along with it.

As I was driving to Pierre's house my mind wandered to y/n. Her acting skills were amazing and she was so immensely attractive. She had won golden globes and even an Oscar for her remarkable acting.

I arrived at the party realising I'm late as the place was completely packed with people, most of whom I didn't recognise.

I was looking for either Pierre or Carlos but as I was looking my eyes fell on a lean figure in the corner of the room. Y/n.

I walked up to her with my sudden, newly found confidence "hey! My name is Charles, I'm Pierre and Carlos's best friend. I'm a huge fan of your acting" she looked at me wide eyed. Shit. Did I ramble?

"Oh hey! I'm honoured to have you as one of my fans, good to know Carlos has replaced me" she said chuckling. Oh thank god, I thought I fucked up my only chance.

I chatted with y/n for some time until someone came up to us.

"Hola mis mejores amigos" the person said, I froze. It was Carlos.

"hola Carlitos, estaba hablando con el apuesto caballero con el que me reemplazaste" Hello Carlitos, I was just talking to the handsome gentleman you replaced me with.

She spoke in perfect Spanish, god her accent was so hot.

Carlos and her exchanged a few words and then turned to involve me as well into the conversation. How nice of Carlos.

I saw that she spoke french as one of her native languages and decided to take advantage of the fact that Carlos didn't understand a word of French.

"Si jolie fille. Veux-tu retourner dans ma chambre d'hôtel ? Je peux te montrer un bon moment" So pretty girl. Do you want to go to my hotel? I can show you a good time.

She blushed hard, her cheeks turning bright red. Carlos pulled me aside.

"What are you doing mate? I told you I like her and you're going on trying to sleep with her?" Carlos said. How did he understand what I said.

"Carlos she's not your to have. If you want we can share, I see the way she looks at you as well. She likes the both of us, let's show her a good time." I suggested

Carlos nodded and walked back to y/n whispering something in her ear causing her to blush again, got was she beautiful.

All three of us got in my car and drove to my hotel.

As soon as we got there Carlos threw y/n against the wall and started kissing her

I traced her curves with my hands, pressing up behind her. I was sure she could feel my arousal on her ass.

She ogled at Carlos's body before her. I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her linen pants, leaning forward to pepper kisses on her right shoulder. Y/n reached up under the shoulders of Carlos’s shirt and pushed the fabric away. The shirt flowed off his arms, falling to the floor. He reached forward, cupping y/n's cheek before kissing her again.

My kisses on her skin flowed down her back, teeth nipping at her hips through her panties as I slid her pants down.

Carlos POV:

Charles kneeled behind y/n once the material pooled at her feet, kissing upward. I massaged one of her breasts through her bra. Charles stood up to his complete form, kissing her shoulder once more as his hand swept across your skin to her panties.

I felt Charles’s hand slip beneath the material of her panties and graze her clit, going to feel the wetness between her folds. The kiss was broken as a moan left her lips, back arching into Charles. I chuckled looking at how worked up she was.

She squirmed between me and Charles, reaching forward and gripping my shoulder for support.

Charles POV

I had y/n on her toes as I fingered her lazily as if I was playing the piano. She let out soft pants, not giving us the satisfaction of hearing how good we made her feel. We'll make sure those noises come out.

My hand fell to her side as she undid my belt, leaning forward to kiss the flesh softly. Herr fingers slipped the button free, teeth nipping at my right hip. My breath hitched, chest rising and falling as she slowly pulled the zipper down. Y/n reached in, purposefully grazing the obvious erection in my underwear before tugging the jeans down.

“Fucking hell” I breathed, pulling away from her. Her hands brushed my thighs as I stepped away. She grinned at me, knowing that she got underneath my skin.

Carlos was watching the whole thing with his arms crossed and shot me a smile. As soon as I was yanking my jeans and underwear off, Carlos quickly undid his belt and jeans.

“Fuck, I am the luckiest woman in the fucking world,” She breathed, toes curling and eyes almost rolling into the back of her head at the sight of the me and Carlos naked before her. Carlos laid horizontally across the bed. His head was slightly close to the edge. He looked at yher, patting his chest.

“Come have a seat,” Carlos suggested calling y/n over. Carlos pulled her down with no warning, tongue immediately delving within you. She cried out as his tongue circled her clit. She reached forward, gripping my forearm. I waited for her to adjust, in awe at the sight of her. She looked so fucking hot and bothered.

“Ch-Charles, let me, please,” she pleaded me, reaching forward with her free hand and wrapping it around my cock. I widened my eyes, fuck that felt so good. I walked a little more forward. Her gaze was innocent despite her lips wrapping around the tip of my cock. I groaned loudly grabbing her hair. God she was doing so good.

Carlos POV:

I moved to suck on her clit, slipping away one of my hands from her thigh and pressing a finger between her wet folds. She moaned on Charles’s cock, causing him to pull a breath through his teeth. I gently brought my finger in and out of her, adding another.

I continued sucking her clit and I could feel that she was getting close. Her moans grew louder and louder.

“Carlos, please,” she begged, god I needed her so badly.

I stopped pleasuring her and got her off my face guiding her to the edge of the bed.

Charles walked to his dresser removing two condoms and passing me one.

“Thanks, mate,” I said quietly. We both ripped the packaging and slipped the condoms on.

“Come here, cariño,” I said to her. She came to me leaning down and kissing me as she planted a knee on each side of my body. I gladly returned the kiss, one hand on her back, the other lining my cock up with her entrance. The kiss deepened as she allowed me to fill her to the brim.

Second person POV:

Charles watched the both of you, aroused by the scene and watching Carlos fill you with ease. He stepped between Carlos’s parted legs, touching your lower back. He caressed the flesh of your ass, causing you to pull away from Carlos’s kisses and watch Charles. He took himself in his left hand, shifting to level before slowly entering you from behind. Your eyes rolled back, toes curling, and cunt clenching around Carlos as Charles entered you.

Both men gave you a moment to adjust; the sensation wasn’t new, but it was always slightly alarming initially. Charles leaned forward to kiss your shoulder before straightening back, waiting for the cue. You nodded aggressively, eyes squeezed shut as you clutched Carlos’s shoulders. Carlos kissed your temple before both men moved together, Carlos thrusting up into you and Charles’s thrusts pushing you forward. You moaned, ready to come apart right there.

They were slow at first, continuing to let you adjust like the gentlemen they were. Then, when the only noise you made was panting, they changed their pace, their hips snapping against you. You moaned, back arching, which pushed you further into Carlos. Carlos’s hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your flesh that you knew would leave a mark behind. Charles’s grip was a little looser than Carlos’s on your waist but would still leave faint marks behind.

The pace they set quickly brought you closer and closer to an orgasm, the sensations of both pumping in and out of you overwhelming your body. Carlos thrust up, hips lifting off the bed, and a spot inside you that made you see stars. You gasped, clutching his bicep to the point your nails dug in. The sound of panting and your moans echoed throughout the room, all three bodies glistening with a thin layer of sweat.

“Fuck!” you cried out, soon feeling the tension in your core snap. You squeezed around Carlos, the tightening of your walls pulling him with you, causing his lips to stutter and his grip to tighten. Despite fucking you from behind, the tension of your orgasm was enough to bring Charles to his climax. He rode through his orgasm, slowing his pace until he stopped.

You fell on Carlos, not caring if your full weight was on him. Both of you were a panting, sweating mess. He removed a hand from your waist, running his fingers through his hair. He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling as he tried to get his breathing down to normal. Charles leaned over you, panting, but he kissed your spine. You hummed softly, weakly glancing back at Charles. Your eyes met, and he offered you a gentle smile, rubbing your back before he removed himself from you.

Charles walked to the ensuite bathroom, going to quickly clean up before he joined the both of you in bed. Carlos tilted his head up, stroking your back before gently patting your bum. You sighed, sitting up and letting him hold the condom before you removed yourself. Carlos leaned over, moving some hair that stuck to the sweat on your forehead. He gave it a gentle kiss, stroking your hair in the process.

Charles quickly returned, picking you up from the end of the bed. Carlos stood up and went to the bathroom, patting Charles on the shoulder. He carried you bridal style to his side of the bed, kneeling to place you in the middle before laying down next to you. You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling until Charles was beside you. Your head turned to meet his eyes, a soft smile on both faces. He stroked your hair, and you gently caressed his thigh and knee and all three of you fell asleep.

[mothdruid]

Home for the Holidays

pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader

summary: Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley's feelings for one another.

wc: 19.2k

warning: 18+, mdni, fluff, mild angst, smut, slow burn, pet names (babe), fake dating, kissing, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex (afab receiving), vaginal fingering, drinking (reader gets drunk), crying, bob being a good friend

a/n: hello! it's finally here!!!! thank you all for being patient with me while i finished this up

"You did what?" It was shocking, hearing Bradley word vomit every bad decision he made in the past two days. Seeming as how they all included you without your knowledge.

"It was an accident." Bradley said, lips in a slight downturn as he wrapped a hand around the back of his neck. 

"That is not an accident, Bradley. It's a fucking lie." You looked at him in disbelief. This was much much worse than just an accident. You turned and started walking away from him, but alas, he followed you. 

"It's not like you're doing anything for the holidays." Bradley pleaded. 

"You don't know that." You arrived at your office, sitting in your desk chair quickly.  

"Actually, I do ‘cause you told me last week you were planning on staying at home, getting wine drunk while watching Face Off." You glared at him, hating the fact he had such an impeccable memory. Bradley leaned against your desk, staring down at you while adjusting his reading glasses. 

"I'm not your girlfriend though. How will your family feel when they find that out?" Bradley rolled his eyes. He made a wave of his hand in the air.

"They won't find out. Come on, we both took intro to acting in college, it won't be hard to fake it." 

"Bradley, what did you tell them? Like explain it all word for word." 

"Already did tha-"

"No, you word vomited." He huffed this time. 

"Fine. Mav asked me if I was bringing anyone home. I told him I wasn't sure if I was coming home. Amelia then teased me about being alone and maybe my pride got the best of me." It was your turn to let out a huff. 

"That's an understatement." 

"So, then I said that I would be coming home, and bringing my girlfriend." Bradley looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

"Which is apparently me." You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back into your chair. 

"Yes." A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

"You owe me a big favor if I do this." Bradley smiled at your reply.

“I’ll do all your extra paperwork for a month.” The offer was tempting, but you knew it wouldn’t fully make up for this. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t know Bradley’s family, or at least what he had left of it. His biological parents had passed away when he was young, leaving his god-parents to take care of him. You had met Pete and Penny during your college graduation. They were extremely kind people, inviting you out for a celebration dinner afterwards. But that was partially why you were nervous, they knew you on a surface level. 

You had never met Amelia, only hearing about her through Bradley and seeing pictures. Bradley adored the girl, talking about her like a sister. Which wasn’t too far off. It was his god-daughter. Reminding you that Bradley’s ‘family’ wasn’t his biological family, not that it made a difference. They treated him as if he was their own, which was all that mattered. 

“Bradley, I’ll have to think about it.” 

After a few days to mull it over you decided to go. Even making a pros and cons list to help you decide. Bradley was ecstatic, sending you back a thumbs up and smiley blushing emoji. He then sent you a longer text explaining the plans for the trip. 

The office would close on the 22nd of December, allowing you guys to fly out on the 23rd. Then you wouldn’t be returning home until December 31st. You two would be flying out to Michigan, the state where Penny and Pete had raised Bradley. Which also happened to be where the two of you attended university together. It was truly a beautiful state, one that you missed a little bit. The winters were something you never fully got used to, but who ever gets used to a winter like that. 

-

The plane ride to Michigan wasn’t bad, only a two hour flight. Bradley picked up a rental car after landing so the two of you would be able to drive wherever. Pete and Penny lived around where ‘up north’ started. It was a smaller town close to the city you two went to university at. So, it was pertinent that the two of you had a car to go places whenever you wanted. The two of you loaded your luggage into the back of the car, silently praising that Bradley was smart enough to get an SUV for the trip. You made sure you grab your blanket out of your bag before settling into the passenger seat. 

“Two hours?” You asked while you placed your blanket over your legs. 

“It’s the same drive from when we were in college.” Bradley stated as he sat in the driver seat, placing the key in the ignition. You adjusted your heating settings, switching your side to max heat while Bradley adjusted his to a low heat. 

“Bradley, it’s been years since I’ve been here.” He relaxed back into the seat, shifting the gear in the center console before leaving the lot. You watched as he smiled and used one hand on the wheel, the other still resting on the gear. 

“This will be a fun refresher trip then.” Bradley said as he looked at you before focusing back on the road. 

“There is a reason why I left Michigan, you too.” White man-made hills of snow were everywhere, reminding you of your university years. The years when you and Bradley became friends. You had thought that moving to Michigan for college wouldn’t be bad, it only being four years. But you were wrong. The winters there were cold and wet, making you a hermit for almost half the year.

“The snow isn’t that bad.” You pulled your black and grey heathered beanie off your head and tossed it on your side of the dashboard. There was an odd flutter when you looked at him, his smile seeming brighter than normal.

“You say that because you grew up here.” You pointed at him, a mocking grimace on your face. Bradley chuckled at your look, swatting your finger away. 

“What? Afraid we might get stuck in the freezing cold?” You pulled the blanket up over your arms and chest, rolling your eyes at his question. “Can you pull up the GPS, maybe connect your phone to the car for music too?” 

“Am I gonna have to take requests?” You raised an eyebrow at him. Bradley’s lips quirked to one side as you started to fiddle with the touch screen in the rental. 

“Honestly, as long as you get the directions pulled up I’ll let you listen to whatever.” Bradley said as he finally made it onto the freeway. A part of you wondered why he even needed the GPS working when it was a straight shot. That was one you enjoyed about Michigan, I-75. The freeway that could take you all the way from Canada to Florida. It was practically the straight shot to anywhere in Michigan, except the western side of the state and most of the upper peninsula. But you indulged him, pulling the GPS up. 

“So, are there any specific plans for the holidays?” You put your music on shuffle, keeping it at a low volume. Bradley shrugged. 

“All I’m really aware of is Christmas Eve and Christmas day. They know we are heading out on New Year’s eve. But we might have a gathering during the week.” You laid your seat back a little bit, getting more comfortable as Bradley stayed focused on the road. 

“I’ll assume that Christmas Eve and Christmas are gonna be with the family. But what are we doing during the week? Besides lounging of course.” There were a few thumps as Bradley hit some classic Michigan potholes. 

“Of course. We are having a little get together.” Bradley muttered. You could tell he was hiding something. 

“Bradley, don’t lie to me anymore.” You squinted at him. Bradley brought a hand to the back of his neck, scratching awkwardly and the crunch of the material of his winter coat drowned out the music. 

“I uh.. I might have agreed to a little college reunion with the gang.” College reunion? With ‘the gang’? That wasn’t what you signed up for. You had signed up for hot cocoa and presents with his family, being awkwardly teased about a relationship that didn’t exist. Faking a relationship in front of their friends wasn’t in the deal. You shot up out of your seat, turning to face him better.

“You what? Bradley! I’m not doing this,” you gestured between the two of you, “in front of them.” Bradley’s face scrunched up as he looked at you. You swatted at his arm, earning a fake yelp from him as he pulled away from you. 

“Hey! I’m driving!” 

“Crash the car now then! They can’t think we are together!” Bradley rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not crashing the car, it’s a rental. Plus, it’s not like Hangman doesn’t already think that.” You let out a huff while the car went over another pothole.

“Jake can’t know about this little deal we have. He’d get off on it too much.” 

“Well, none of them have to know about it. We can keep it a secret.” Another pothole. You turned the music up then curled back up into your seat. You knew that was too hopeful, everyone of your friends would know immediately. Especially Bob and Natasha. Bradley focused back on the road after he made sure you were done arguing. 

He knew why you wouldn’t want the group to think you two were dating, many of them having bet money on your relationship status every year of university. But Jake had always been the most relentless. Bradley decided to push that thought to the back of his mind, focusing on the road while occasionally looking over at your now sleeping form. 

Bradley looked over as you started to rustle, sleep still covering your features. For a split second he smiled, taking in how adorable you looked. Bradley blushed at his own thoughts, focusing back on the road. You rubbed at your eyes, looking around the car and stretching out your arms. Bradley leaned a bit away from you as one of your hands moved into his space while you stretched. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” Bradley said as you sat up and moved your seat back upright. Bradley chuckled when you shot a glare at him. You looked out the window, noticing larger mounds of snow littering the area. There had to be at least a foot of snow in the surrounding area. You grabbed your beanie from the dashboard, putting it back on. You weren’t even outside but you could already feel the lower temperature. 

“How far away are we?” You asked, switching the song.

“GPS says twenty minutes, but I think I can make it in fifteen.” Bradley joked with a wink. You shot him a playful look before checking your phone. There was a text from Bob, making you smile. 

He was still one of you best friends from college, the both of you texting occasionally. You had met him at college, just like the rest of your friend group. Him and Mickey had been the only ones that weren’t so annoying about your relationship with Bradley. It was a short text, but one that had your nose scrunching up.

Bobert: You going home with Brad?

You: yeah, but it isn’t anything like that

You: also don’t call him that, it’s weird

Bobert: says the person who calls him B

The twenty minutes flew by quickly, taking in all of the surroundings outside. Bradley was right when he said it was a small town. You were pretty sure there were only three stop lights in the entire town. The town seemed dead, as most towns did during the winter in Michigan. Most people bundled up inside, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Christmas movies with their families. Or at least that was what you did while you were here. Bundled up in your dorm or apartment, depending on the year, while sipping hot cocoa with an iconic Christmas movie on. Bradley and Jake always teased you about being scrooge, but you couldn’t help that the ‘merry season’ just didn’t bring much merriment for you. 

Bradley turned down streets that you definitely weren’t going to remember, before turning into a driveway of a home. It was an obvious two story home. The outside of the house was covered in mismatching stones, a nice cement porch attached to the front. Dead bushes lined the edge of the driveway next to the house, wrapping around near the porch. There were lights covering and the edges of the roof, currently off due to it being daytime. You could make out small wire frames of a few deer lawn ornaments.

“This your childhood home?” You asked as you undid your seatbelt to get out. Bradley’s mustache twitched, a small curve to his lips. It looked almost like a nostalgic but melancholic look. His hazel eyes were full of emotions when he looked at you. It had been years since Bradley came home for the holidays, mainly spending his holidays alone now. 

“Sure is.” Bradley undid his own seatbelt, opening the driver door and getting out of the car. You quickly followed suit, the both of you heading to get the back of the car to get your luggage. 

A shiver ran through your body as you followed Bradley’s lead, making your way to the side door of the house. All you could think about was getting inside, the warmth of the home calling to you. A part of you was hoping that Penny might already have hot cocoa prepared for you two, even though the chances were low. Bradley knocked on the door, making sure to not hit the wreath hanging on it. Bradley stood on the small set of cement steps towards the door, creating an extremely large height difference. Bradley wiggled his eyebrows playfully as you two waited for someone to answer. 

“Are you sure they are home?” You rocked back and forth lightly, trying to generate some extra warmth. Bradley tilted his head and gave you a weird look. 

“Penny and Mav are retired. Plus, Amelia is on break from school. One of them has to be home.” Bradley stated as he leaned over to try and look in the windows near the door. “Or at least I’m pretty sure someone should be here.” Bradley smiled awkwardly at you before the door swung open. 

“What are you doing here?” A young blonde haired girl said with a glare. 

“Are you home alone?” Bradley questioned. You watched the two of them, taking in their casual conversation. You knew this was Amelia, recognizing some of her features. “You gonna let us in or nah?” Bradley’s question caught your attention. 

“Yeah, please. It’s really cold out here.” You finally spoke up, earning a smile from Amelia. 

“You’re lucky you brought your girlfriend Roo, or else I’d make you sleep in the garage.” Amelia smiled brightly after her words, opening the door and stepping out of the way. There was an odd feeling in your chest, when she called you Bradlye’s girlfriend. You offered an awkward smile to her, not sure if you would ever get used to being called Bradley’s girlfriend. The two of you grabbed your suitcases and made your way inside. It was a relief to feel the heat of the home engulf your body. 

“I’ll remember that when it’s Christmas morning.” Bradley quipped as he took his beanie off, you mimicking his action. Amelia stuck her tongue out, leaving the small foyer-like room. There were pictures of Bradley and Amelia adorning the walls in the foyer with the occasional Christmas decoration of the wall. The ages of them ranged from toddler to Bradley’s university graduation. One picture stood out to you though. It was toddler Bradley with two people you had never met. A gentle and kind looking woman next to a man with a pair of aviator sunglasses on and a goofy smile. The man was holding Bradley on his hip, an outdoor grill obvious in the background. Bradley must have realized you were staring at the picture, him standing a bit closer to you. 

“That’s mom and dad.” You turned to see Bradley merely inches away from your face. A heat you had noticed earlier started to boil under your cheeks. “I’ll tell you more about them later. Let’s get our stuff upstairs.” 

Bradley led the way through the comforting home, more Christmas decorations littering the home the deeper you got. It gave you an immediate sense of security, knowing that nothing wrong could happen here. The walls inside the home were adorned with more family pictures. You saw some of just Mav and Bradley’s dad, even ones of teenage Bradley and his mom. You knew that Bradley had lost his parents from a car accident, just had never seen what they looked like. The two of you made your way up the wrapping staircase. 

“So, we are sharing a room.” Bradley said as you made your way down the hallway. 

“We are what now?” Bradley opened the door to what you assumed was his old bedroom. It was more of a spare room now though, no old traces of Bradley lingering in it. There was only one bed. Of course there was only one bed. 

“That’s fine, but only one bed?” You questioned. Bradley scooted his suitcase to the side of the room, offering you a smile. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor, I promise.” 

“Good, cause I’m not sharing.” You playfully elbowed his arm, smirking when he made an over exaggerated yelp.  

After getting your suitcases sorted and unpacked you made your way downstairs. You found Amelia sitting in the living room, some type of docu-series on the tv. You sat on the couch opposite of her, checking your phone. Not only did you have a text from Bob, but one from Mickey now too. 

Bobert: (; sure it ain’t 

Mickey: how am i finding out from bob you’re with rooster for the holidays????

You rolled your eyes, deciding that neither of them deserved a response. You looked up from your phone, meeting Amelia’s gaze. You offered a small wave to her, not sure how to start a conversation with her. 

“So, have you two always been together?” Amelia crossed her arms and sunk further into the couch. Your eyebrows knitted together. 

“No? Why wou-” 

“You two went to CMU together, right?” You nodded. “And were you dating then?” 

“No, why are you-” 

“Hey!” Bradley interrupted you, coming into the living room and sitting next to you. He wrapped an arm behind you, pressing his body closely to yours. You could feel a small flutter in your stomach, something you had vaguely felt before. Especially with Bradley. 

Being this close with Bradley wasn’t unfamiliar, it was something you enjoyed from time to time. It was just nice to have someone there occasionally, that someone being Bradley. But this was different. You two were technically boyfriend and girlfriend right now. A couple. It made you feel something weird, something you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. All you knew was that it made your body act differently. A warmth was blossoming behind your cheeks, heart fluttering from his looks and smiles, hands developing a clamminess. 

“What are the two of you talking about?” Bradley asked with a big smile, his arm pulling you a little more snug into him. 

“You.” Amelia said with a playful glare. It was Bradley’s turn to poke his tongue out at her. The two of them started to talk while you watched them. If you hadn’t known Bradley for years, you would have thought this was his sibling. Amelia was that of sorts, even if she was about thirteen years younger than him. Bradley was an only child, but the conversation you were witnessing made you question that fact. 

“Well what about me?” Bradley asked. 

“That you should shave your mustache.” Amelia quipped. You couldn’t hide your giggle, only to be met with an offended look from Bradley. 

“There’s no way. You love my mustache don’t you, babe?” The heat flooded your cheeks once more. 

“I-I mean, I forgot what you look like without it. You’ve had it for years.” 

“You can be honest. It looks bad.” Amelia harped from her side of the living room. Bradley went to say something, stopping when he heard the door open. Amelia shot Bradley a playful look, getting up and running over to the kitchen. Suddenly you could feel Bradley’s breath on your cheek and neck, making your heartbeat pick up. 

“Sorry about all of this.” Bradley gestured to where the two of your bodies were pressed together. You turned to look at him, your eyes locking with his hazel ones. There were only a few mere inches between the two of you. “Gotta sell the part, ya know?” 

“No, no, I totally get it.” You patted at the top of his thigh, rubbing your hand lightly on his jean clad thigh. Your eyes flicked to his lips then to his eyes again. It was like something clicked in your brain, you immediately looked away from him making a small cough-like noise. “Sorry, scratch in my throat.”

Without warning Mav walked in, causing Bradley to stand up and separate from you. It was the most miniscule thing, but you were relieved. You gave Mav a smile, waving at Penny as she came around. Even though you felt welcome, all you could think about was the flight back home. 

-

“No, Bob!” You whispered on the phone. “He was like inches away, like if either of us were bumped, there would have been lip to lip contact.” You heard a small snicker. “What are you laughing about?” 

“About you coming to your senses.” You rolled your eyes, sitting down on the bed you’d be sleeping in later. 

“There aren't any ‘senses’ for me to come to.” What the fuck was Bob talking about anyway? 

“Sure there aren’t. But if you don’t see it, I’m not gonna tell you.” Bob’s shit eating grin could be heard through the phone. 

“Good, ‘cause there is nothing to be seen.” You were about to continue the conversation before Bradley walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He wore an old marron Central Michigan University t-shirt, gray sweatpants, towel still in hand, hair wet. Something inside of you lurched seeing Bradley like this, seeing him so casual and domestic. It wasn’t like how you used to see him in college, there was something different now. 

“I gotta let you go, Bob. I’ll text you.”  There was a small silence between you and Bradley before he spoke. 

“How’s Bob?” Bradley asked, gathering the extra blankets he found earlier. He laid a comforter down on the floor next to the bed. You pulled your legs up onto the bed, trying to keep them out of his way while he assembled his makeshift bed. You grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed and plopped it down on his comforter. 

“Bob is, Bob is fine.” Bradley got down on his knees, rolling out the blankets and fluffing the pillow you tossed down. Another silence. 

“Hey, I… I’m sorry about earlier and dinner. If I’m being a bit too much,” he looked up at you, “just let me know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” A sincere look was on his features.

“Bradley..”

“I just need this holiday to go well, okay?” A small amount of emotion had slipped into Bradley’s sincere look. 

“Bradley, what is this really about?” Bradley looked away from you. 

“I know you don’t want to be here, but please. I need to show Mav that I’m doing well.” You watched Bradley with a smile as he started talking with his hands. It was kind of cute, something he did when he got nervous. “He keeps harping on me and I just-” You took his hands in yours, stopping the movements. Bradley finally looked back up at you, making you smile. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me this when you asked me?” You thought about dinner, how Mav kept asking questions. When did you two officially get together? When are you gonna move in together? Did you always like each other? Any thoughts about marriage? 

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured about the entire thing. Like if you didn’t want to come, you didn’t have to. Mav is just a little overbearing, and has been since my parents passed. He just-” 

“Bradley,” he stopped his rambling, “I’m your friend, okay? Friends help friends. And that unfortunately means maybe pretending to be your friend's girlfriend to make it seem like he is doing good in life with his god-father.” Bradley’s lips cracked into a smile at your words. 

“Thanks. I knew there was a reason why I call you my best friend.” A small flutter in your chest was noticeable as you smiled back at him. 

“You’re gonna owe me so much take-out and coffee after this.” 

-

It was Christmas Eve and all five of you were in the living room. It was apparently tradition for Bradley and his family to watch Space-Balls on Christmas Eve, followed by some assortment of Christmas movies afterwards. Pete and Penny were on one couch, Penny curled up under Pete’s arm. Amelia was curled up on a recliner, bundled up with a fleece blanket. Then there was you and Bradley. Bradley sat at one end of the couch, you laid out at the other end with your legs stretching out. Your feet were currently set on Bradley’s lap, one of his hands rested on your shin while the other was curled around the heel of one foot. 

Everyone was focused on the movie, laughing at the jokes they had laughed at before. But you weren’t focused on the movie. Yes, it was one of your favorites. How could it not be, seeing Bill Pullman pull out such a stellar comedy performance. But alas, you were focused on your best friend. 

After your conversation last night, it was easier. All of it. The small touches of Bradley’s fingertips or hands, the invasion of your ‘bubble’ became more bearable too. Even the small things your body was doing. Everytime Bradley laughed it warmed you, making you forget about the ten degree weather outside. The way your heart fluttered when he looked at you, it was oddly exciting. Has that always happened when he looked at you? 

You felt a squeeze on your heel, pulling you out of your thoughts. Bradley was giving you a questioning look, silently asking if you were okay with another squeeze of your heel. After giving him a soft smile and nod he turned back to the movie. Bradley had always been a type of comfort to you, but this was a different kind of comfort he was providing now. The movie played on, earning a few giggles and chuckles from you and the others. It wasn’t until the end of the movie any of you noticed the new snowflakes flurrying beyond the window pane. 

“Fresh snow!” Amelia shouted, whipping around in the recliner to look out the window behind her. You sat up a little bit, pulling the blanket on your lap up around you while inching closer to Bradley.

“Wonder how long it’s been snowing.” Bradley whispered as you leaned into him. The blanket you had was warm, but you wanted more warmth. You silently thanked whatever higher power for making Bradley a walking furnace. 

“Not sure.” Bradley wrapped an arm around you, pulling you tighter into him. You looked across the living room, catching a look from Mav. There was this look of adoration in his eyes as he watched you and Bradley. A small pang of guilt struck you, feeling bad about fooling him. But if this was what Bradley wanted, you would help. You weren’t going to be around when it blew up anyways, when Bradley had to explain why you had ‘broken up’ or that it was all fake. 

“Let’s go outside! Make a snowman or something!” Amelia turned back around and sat up. 

“I don’t know about that one.” Penny said, sitting up on the couch. “It’s pretty cold outside.” 

“We will wear our coats, hats and gloves. Promise.” Amelia held out her pinky to her mother, signaling a pinky promise. Mav chuckled at her before speaking. 

“And who is we?” Amelia shrugged at Mav’s question. 

“Me and Bradley.” It was Bradley’s turn to sit up straight, making you sit up straight. 

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that.” Bradley said, his arms still around you. 

“Please?” Amelia asked, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. Bradley rolled his eyes.

“Fine but only if she comes out too.” Bradley smirked as he gestured to you. You sat back from him, giving him an astonished look. 

“If I-”

“Pretty please. I wanna go do snow angels, but I don’t wanna go alone.” Amelia interrupted you, now giving you puppy dog eyes. You didn’t want to ruin her mood. 

“Only if I get to pick the next Christmas movie.” Everyone agreed to let you pick the next Christmas movie. You, Bradley, and Amelia hunted down your winter gear. Bradley made sure to tie your boots tight for you, knowing that you didn’t want to risk getting snow in them. Amelia grabbed your arm, tugging you down for her to whisper something. 

“Let’s pelt him with snowballs.” 

The three of you went outside, hats pulled down and far as possible. Amelia ran through the snow coating the driveway, missing the cars as she made her way to the front yard. You and Bradley walked to the yard, seeing Amelia with her arms out and wide, twirling as she caught snowflakes with her tongue. It made you smile, seeing her enjoy the very essence of what winter was. Bradley watched you, taking in your expression. He felt something blossom inside of him, not being able to place what it was exactly. 

“Ready for snow angels?” You joked, elbowing him lightly. Bradley smiled at you, before nodding and leading the way. Penny and Pete watched your snow angel joy turn into a snowball fight, you and Amelia teaming up against Bradley. 

“They’re cute.” Penny said as she watched Bradley fall down as Amelia tackled him into the snow. All Mav could do was nod, smiling as he watched the three of you. He had never seen Bradley so happy, let alone so happy with another person. 

-

“The, the, the, the Grinch!” Bradley mocked, repeating the line of your favorite Christmas movie as you two made it up the stairs. After coming back inside from a thorough snowball fight, you forced everyone to sit through the live-action Grinch. 

It was late now, the two of you making your way up to your shared room. Bradley shot you a pair of finger guns before gathering his clothes, heading into the bathroom. It was his way of giving you privacy while changing. The both of you hoped that Amelia never saw it, not wanting her to catch on to your charade. You slipped into your sleepwear, your own Central Michigan University t-shirt and sweatpants. You checked your phone after you set your dirty clothes in the clothes basket. There were a few messages from your dagger squad group chat and a few from Bob. 

Dagger Squad, Nat: Midland Street? Right? 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i mean, fricks is an option

Dagger Squad, Javs: only saying fricks cause you live there

Dagger Squad, Jakey: sue me

Dagger Squad, BradBrad: Either spot, can’t be out late. Have to drive afterwards

You squinted at the time of Bradley’s message, seeing it was only from a few minutes ago. You typed out a small reply to the group chat, explaining you also had a drive before looking at Bob’s texts. 

Bobert: How’s the trip? 

Bobert: You’re not mad about our convo, right? 

Bobert: Sorry if I was out of line. 

Bobert: Y’all coming to the get together? 

You thought Bradley had told everyone you two would be there. 

You: yeah, just have to drive afterwards. and no, i’m not mad, just had to watch a lot of christmas movies and beat bradley’s ass in a snowball fight 

A beat barely passed when a notification dropped down, a text to the group chat from Jake. 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: just one of you lovebirds dd, i got a spare room if you need it (;

You rolled your eyes, just in time for Bradley to walk in the room. He had his phone in hand, staring at the screen as he closed the door. He turned to look at you, holding his phone out for you to see the screen. The group chat was pulled up on his screen. 

“Are you seeing this?” You held up your phone, showing him the group chat on your screen. 

“Grade-A asshole.” You joked about Jake. You climbed into bed, curling up under the plush comforter. You scooted to the edge, looking at Bradley as he settled onto his makeshift bed. 

“Sometimes I wonder why we are friends with him.” Bradley stated, plugging his charger into the phone and setting it on the nightstand. He picked up your charger cord, handing it to you for you to plug your phone in.

“It’s crazy how any of us are friends.” You said while plugging  your phone in. 

“How so?” Bradley asked, looking up at you from the floor. Your heart swelled as you looked at him, his honey locks disheveled against the pillow. There was a tiredness that was settling on his features, one that was most likely settling onto yours too. 

“I mean, aside from us, we all have different majors. It’s kind of surprising we all managed to stay friends after pre-req years.” Bradley shrugged. He tried hard not to smile as he stared up at you, your cute peeking form over the edge of the bed. The two of you just stared at each other for a moment before you spoke up again. 

“Should we set an alarm for the morning? Don’t wanna miss any presents.” Bradley shook his head no. 

“I promise you, they won’t open anything before we get down there.” You rolled back onto the bed completely, rolling onto your side. 

“Goodnight, Bradley.”

“Goodnight, babe.” 

-

The two of you were awoken by Penny knocking on your door. After confirmation the two of you were awake she told the two of you to be downstairs in ten minutes. Bradley groaned as he rolled onto his side. You checked your phone, seeing a text from Mickey, Bob, and the dagger squad group chat. You looked at the time, 9:25am, then decided to ignore the texts. Those were a future you problem. Without warning Bradley stood up, not facing you and leaving the room. 

It was odd, he at least told you good morning yesterday before heading to the bathroom. You changed into an old university sweater, waiting for Bradley to return. After a few minutes you decided to head down alone, knowing Bradley would be close to follow. 

The smell of cinnamon rolls flooded your senses, making you smile. You saw Penny and Amelia in the kitchen, talking about something while preparing the cinnamon rolls. You made your way to the first floor bathroom, deciding to use it before interacting for the day. After using the bathroom you made your way to the living room. Pete smiled at you once he saw you. 

“Merry Christmas!” Mav greeted you before frowning. “Where’s Bradley?” You shrugged. 

“Went to the bathroom in a hurry and I haven’t seen him since.” Mav nodded, a weird half frown half smirk on his lips. You went to question the look before Bradley walked into the living room. His cheeks had a rosy tint to them, making you question why he left for the bathroom even more. 

“Morning.” You greeted as he sat next to you. Bradley smiled and just nodded to you, turning his attention to Mav quickly. 

“We just put the cinnamon rolls in, so let’s do some presents.” Penny informed as she sat next to Mav. Amelia sat at her classic recliner, staring at the gifts under the Christmas tree. 

“It’s present time.” And with those words gifts were passed around. Bradley had explained on the plane ride that Mav and Penny had his presents shipped to his apartment. It made sense, flying made it hard to bring anything back with you during the holidays. But that didn’t stop them from getting the two of you new beanies and scarves, things that wouldn’t be hard to take on a plane. 

“We know it’s small but we couldn’t leave you out.” Penny said as you set the items on the arm of the couch. 

“Thank you, it means a lot.” Penny smiled then excused herself to check on the cinnamon rolls in the oven. Bradley watched Amelia with a soft smile as she shoved a present towards Mav.

Seeing Bradley like this made your heart ache, knowing that he wasn’t able to experience this every year. It was lonely living away from everything you knew. You had left your home state for college, Bradley left his for work. You had happened to both get employed by the same company after university, forcing you two to stay close. But there was a kind of comfort in having each other. Bradley’s constant open availability for a movie night and you always paying for his take out was a match made in heaven. Without a further thought you nudged him lightly. 

“You okay?” Bradley nodded, that kind tilt of his lips still on his face. 

“Of course, what makes you ask?” Bradley leaned back into the couch, placing his arm around you. There was an unspoken comfortability in the small action, for you and Bradley. You leaned into him, eyes never leaving Amelia and Pete. 

“You never said good morning.” That rosy tint crept back into Bradley’s cheeks. His eyes flicked to yours briefly before leaning in, his hot breath against the shell of your ear. 

“Sorry, I won’t let it happen again.” It was now your turn for a heat to rise in your cheeks, warming you to your very core. Was Bradley flirting with you? Your brain short-circuited, replying without thinking it through. 

“You better not.” You whispered back, leaning closer into him to see Mav open a coffee mug saying “I’m a Pielat, Pielit, Pilat, I can fly” which earned a hearty chuckle from him. 

Bradley kept his arm around you for the rest of the day, except when you enjoyed Penny’s homemade cinnamon rolls that you made sure to get the recipe for. Maybe you would make them for you and Bradley sometime, to remind him of home when he needed it the most. A warmth spread through you at that thought, the idea of being able to provide him a sense of home. You shook your head, trying to push your thoughts away. Why were you even thinking that? Providing Bradley a sense of home? The two of you were friends, not an actual couple you reminded yourself of. 

-

Bradley was beyond elated with how the trip was going. It was only three days into the trip, but your sentiment about it all had changed. Bradley was surprised when you let him, continually, wrap his arm around you. He liked keeping you close to him, snuggled into his side as you all watched more Christmas movies. There was a warmth spreading through his chest, creeping into all of his crevices. It was making him whole, fixing all the cracks that were inside of him previously. He knew that you had something to do with it. 

Maybe it was the way you teased him along with his family. Or how you fit in with them so well, holding any conversation like you’d known them personally for years. The way you made snow angels charmed him too, even though you had turned into a little devil that pelted him with snowballs. Even when you were peeking over the edge of the bed, staring down at him with your wide eyes while complaining about Jake. Or maybe it was the dream he had, where dream him was fucking dream you in his childhood bedroom. Or how he couldn’t get the images of dream you moaning underneath of him. 

The feeling wasn’t completely unfamiliar, he had felt it in the past. He had always tried to ignore it, not wanting to mess anything up with you. But you were his best friend, and had been since college. What was a friendship if you didn’t sometimes love them a little too much? Right? 

It was late now though, and you were still curled up under his arm. You looked peaceful, sleep having taken over during the final christmas movie after dinner. Bradley didn’t want to wake you, wishing the two of you could stay like this forever. He didn’t get many chances to see you this peaceful. He eventually pushed those feelings to the side, deciding it was best to get you up to the bed. He didn’t want to chance you waking up in the middle of the night on the couch disoriented. 

“Hey,” Bradley nudged your shoulder, “gotta get up. Get you up to bed, can’t have you sleeping on the couch or me all night.” You rustled a little, eyes fluttering open to meet his hazel orbs. 

“Why not?” You asked with a yawn. 

“Because I’m not a bed. Plus, you gotta brush your teeth.” You gave him a face that read ‘ah’, sitting up and stretching your arms. You looked around to see just the two of you in the living room. 

“Did everyone go to bed?” 

“Yeah, everyone turned in for the night.” Bradley sat up a little bit, looking at you with this soft look. You stared at him with a sleepy look, making his heart flutter. You looked so damn cute to him. “I can carry you, if you’d like?” 

A heat flooded your cheeks from his offer. You shook your head as Bradley stood up, holding his hand out for you to take. You looked at it skeptically through your sleepy haze, eventually taking it. His large hand enveloped yours, leading you up to your room. Bradley gathered his things and scurried to the bathroom, leaving you alone in the bedroom. A part of you was starting to question why he left every time. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you naked before, even though the times he had seen you it was an accident. 

You slowly pulled your beat up CMU sweater off, tossing it on the floor to track down your t-shirt. You put a pair of sweatpants on, t-shirt still missing. You looked around, searching for the maroon t-shirt. The door to the room opened while you were searching, revealing a shirtless Bradley with your maroon shirt in his hands. He stared at your shirtless figure, only a black bralette covering your tits. 

“I- uh.. I accidentally grabbed your shirt.” Bradley offered the maroon material out to you. 

It was as if you were frozen, staring at his body. You remembered how toned Bradley was in college, but he had changed with age just like you had. He was still slim, but it wasn’t all muscle like he used to be. The heat returned to your cheeks, radiating into the back of your neck and chest. It was a christmas miracle you tore your gaze away, only to catch Bradley’s gaze crawling all over your exposed skin. Bradley had a rosy tint to his cheeks again, something that was a common theme today. He tore his gaze away, turning his head and holding the shirt out a little more. 

“And you thought I was the tired one.” It was a poor attempt to break the new tension between the two of you. Bradley cracked an awkward smile. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” You said, scooting past Bradley with your t-shirt in hand. After you brushed your teeth you stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering what the hell was going on with you. 

-

"Rooster, can you come help me?" The basement door was wide open in the kitchen, Maverick at the bottom of the stairs leading into the basement. You raised your eyebrows at Bradley, who was sitting across from you at the table. 

A chill had consumed the house all morning. Everyone was bundled up in sweaters, sweatpants, cozy socks, and Bradley in a beanie. Mav had made sure to keep an eye on the thermostat, slowly watching the temp drop. Penny had left for work already, leaving Maverick responsible for figuring out the dropping heating problem. Bradley made his way to the door, asking for good luck before heading down to the basement. As Bradley's footsteps trailed to silence, your phone vibrated. 

Mickey: y'all fuck yet????

You rolled your eyes, not noticing Amelia watching you from the kitchen. 

You: we aren't gonna fuck like that

You: you’re as bad as jake

Mickey: like that??? 

You: we aren't fucking at all

Mickey: that's not what a little bird told me 

You: if you mean bob, that's not what I told him 

Mickey: it was an actual bird. or at least a mythical one (;

"A mythical bird?" You quietly asked. The text glared at you, racking the crevices of your brain. 

"Like a Phoenix?" Amelia's playful tone cut through your thoughts. 

Phoenix. Of course it was Phoenix. 

Natasha Trace was Bradley's second best friend, right after you. She went to the same high school as Bradley, and the same university as the rest of you. In college she earned the nickname Phoenix from Jake, after a wild night of partying and her being completely unphased the day after. If you had been telling Bob about what happened, there was a chance that Bradley was telling Natasha. Maybe Bradley thought all these interactions were just as weird. 

"You two are dating, right?" Amelia's voice interrupted your train of thought again. She scuttled in from the kitchen to the dining room, a blanket wrapped around her and her sweatshirt hood pulled up. She stared at you from the edge of the table. 

"What makes you ask that?" 

"First, you didn't say yes. Second, Bradley had never mentioned you prior. Just makes me wonder things." Her words weren't hurtful, she just wanted to know. Contemplation wavered in you for a moment, deciding whether to tell Amelia the truth or not. 

“Don’t tell your mom and Mav. And don’t tell Bradley that I told you this either.” Amelia’s smirk grew wide at your words. 

“I knew it!” An excited whisper left her, accompanied by a finger pointing at you. You rolled your shoulders and tilted your head at her. 

“Bradley needed someone to bring home since Mav kept asking if he was seeing anyone. And now here I am, in the freezing cold with you.” Amelia snickered at your last comment. She was a sweet girl, you could feel the secret was safe with her. 

“Bradley had never mentioned you, so I thought it was a little weird.” She admitted while pulling out a chair to sit. A nod and smile was all you were able to give her. “It’s not that you guys aren’t believable, because you are. The looks you two give each other? Those are on par with mom and Mav.” You squinted while tilting your head, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Amelia laughed. “Why are you giving me that look?” 

“What?” Amelia’s eyes widened at your question. An at home theater had formed in your brain, replaying all of the moments of the trip in your brain. 

“Are you serious?” You just stared at her in disbelief. “You’re just as oblivious as Bradley.” The both of you turned to look at the door to the basement, hearing footsteps climbing the stairs. Pete was the first one to emerge, Bradley right on his tail. Bradley smiled awkwardly, looking between you and Amelia. He clearly knew something was up between the two of you. 

“Well, the furnace is out. Gonna have to call the H-VAC company.” Pete looked defeated, fishing his phone out of his pocket. He walked over to the sink, leaning against it as he googled the local company. Bradley made his way over to your chair, placing a hand on your back and rubbing lightly. All you could do was stare at Amelia, watching as her lips curved into a grin. 

“You two good?” Bradley questioned, his hand stilling on your back. Amelia looked up at Bradley with that grin on her lips.

“Just fine, Roo. Why wouldn’t we be?” The gal on this kid was impressing you more and more. You watched Amelia as she put her hands up under her chin, batting her lashes at Bradley. It pulled a giggle out of you, watching her try to soothe Bradley’s suspicion. Bradley scrunched his eyebrows together at Amelia, confused as to why she was acting like this. 

“O-kay. Babe, can you help me pull out some electric heaters from the garage?” You squinted at him, chatter of Mav on the phone filling the background now. 

“Um, why didn’t we get those earlier?” 

“Exactly.” It was nice to hear Amelia agree with you. 

“I asked the same thing,” Bradley leaned down between the two of you, “but you know how he is.” All three of you looked towards the kitchen, seeing Mav pinching the bridge of his nose. None of you could hear his hushed tone. Bradley turned back and stood up, shrugging his shoulders. “Said something about how high the electric bill will be.” 

“Of course he did.” Amelia scoffed, shaking her head in amusement. 

“Yeah, I’ll help with getting the heaters.” In all honesty, you just wanted away from Amelia. You wanted time to process her words, without her being present. 

The two of you bundled up, throwing on your coats and boots before heading out to the garage. Bradley swiped the key to the garage door, letting you out the house first. It felt relieving knowing it was still colder outside, reminding you it wasn’t that cold in the house. Your hands were tightly in your coat pockets, trying to scavenge any type of heat they could find. Bradley headed to the tall wooden gate that separated the backyard from the driveway. His hands rubbed together vigorously, bringing the up to blow warm air against the cold appendages. 

“Forgot gloves?” Bradley smirked at your words.

“Yeah.” It was a soft ‘yeah’, one that made your heart flutter. Bradley was staring at you with this soft look on his face. He looked at your pockets, seeing small movements behind the polyester material. “Forget yours too?” 

All you could do was nod, praying Bradley would open the gate soon.  Which he did, flipping the latch and letting you pass through before him. It was left open as he unlocked the garage door, ushering you into the smaller building. It was colder in the garage than the house, but a few degrees warmer than outside. He left the door slightly cracked as he looked for the heaters. 

Your body had started to waddle in place, trying to produce some amount of heat. You took your hands out of your coat pockets, placing them between your thighs for warmth. It was only once you curled in on yourself a little Bradley noticed you. He made his way over to you, straightening your posture up to talk to you. You were face to face with him, his face a few inches away. 

“Last time you forget gloves, right?” 

“Right.” Bradley reached at your forearms, pulling your hands out from between your thighs. He brought your hands up to his mouth, cupping them with his own. Hot breath coated the cold skin of your hands, setting your insides on fire. Your brain was starting to short circuit, feeling the hairs of Bradley’s mustache poking at your hands. Hazel eyes locked with yours, almost reading your thoughts as they popped into your brain. His lips were almost on your skin, a heat was rising from your chest into your neck and face. But no matter what warning signs your body sent out, you weren’t pulling away. 

Only a few more warm breaths of air coated your hands, Bradley pulling away. His eyes never left yours, hazel orbs peering into your deepest thoughts. His hands left yours though, grabbing his beanie off his head. The fabric was full of his residual warmth, warming your scalp and ears when he placed it on your head. 

“There, all better.” Bradley smiled at you, turning to go back and look for the heaters. 

A few moments passed before Bradley found them, hidden on a shelving unit. Your heart was still pounding from the previous interaction. But a sense of relief had washed over you once they were found. There were only three of them, but the amount didn’t matter to you. You were just glad you actually found them. You grabbed one while Bradley grabbed the other two, you closing the doors and gate while trailing behind him. 

Pete looked defeated when the two of you entered the house. Amelia was still sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. You and Bradley both gave questioning looks to them, Amelia looked up from her phone to meet your looks. She shrugged and looked back at her phone. Maverick pinched the bridge of his nose once more, a common look for today. 

“What’s up? What’d they say?” Bradley asked as he scooted past Mav, bringing one heater out towards the living room. Mav huffed before responding. 

“Won’t be here til tomorrow.” Your look was laced with surprise and annoyance. Mav must have caught it, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re telling me. So, we will probably have to rotate the heaters. Keep them on the first floor, then move them to the bedrooms at night.” Bradley returned from the living room, grabbing another space heater to place in the crest of the dining area and living room. After placing the last one in the kitchen, the four of you settle into the living room, bundling up with blankets as you all watch whatever Amelia put on. 

Penny was equally unimpressed with the answer the H-VAC company gave, but at least they knew it would only last a night. A space heater was moved to everyone’s respective rooms, warming them barely. A sweatshirt and sweatpants were your sleep attire for the night, Bradley wearing the same. It was painful watching him crawl on into his makeshift bed. The layers barely helped, the heater not being powerful enough to heat the entire room. That was when you heard a soft chittering. You rolled over to the edge of the bed, looking down to see Bradley curled up in a blanket and shivering. Sharing the bed was the only option to keep the both of you warm.

“Bradley?” One of his eyes opened, peering up at you. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you wanna share the bed?” Bradley knitted his eyebrows, both eyes open now. 

“I- no, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Bradley lightly shook his head. 

“Bradley, you won’t make me uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m not getting in the bed.”

“Why?” A smirk grew on Bradley’s face. 

“You have cooties, obviously.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m serious, you’re gonna freeze.”

“And I’m also serious.” Bradley pulled his blanket up over his neck, a shudder running through him. 

"Bradley, I can hear your teeth. Get in the bed." Your whisper was harsh as you tried to convince Bradley to remove himself from the floor. Even though you didn't really want to share the bed, you definitely weren't going to let him freeze to death on the floor of his childhood bedroom.

“Fine.” Was all you heard before Bradley stood up. 

Hot. It was the first word your brain registered when you woke up. Maybe it was the layers or the space heater that had run all night. There was a weight on your midsection, shifting to see what it was. It was hard to make out the familiar arm in your sleep induced haze.. That’s when you remembered inviting Bradley into the bed. His shuddering and shivering form on the floor forcing you to show him mercy. 

The arm tightened, pulling you closer into Bradley’s body. His sweatshirt clad chest was inviting against your sweatshirt clad back. It was telling you to relax and just accept this new fate. The fate of being wrapped up in your best friend's arms, heart racing, hot breath against your neck. It was a truly tragic fate. 

Time passed as you laid there, staring at the empty wall on the other side of the room. It’s blank canvas, oddly taunting you, not letting you forget about your current situation. The idea of checking your phone hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d rather stay here in this comfortable, yet anxiety inducing scenario. It was obvious that Bradley hadn’t woken up yet or else why would he be spooning you, right? 

All the cuddling on the couch was for his family, showing to them that you two were a couple. Amelia being the only one to catch on that you weren’t. Well, at least you hoped she was the only one for both of your sakes. You heard a soft murmur behind you, breaking your train of thought. 

Bradley shifted closer to you, nuzzling his face into your back while pulling your midsection back. That was when you felt it. A heat crept into your cheeks, something sparking inside of you. A small rock of Bradley hips almost had a moan slipping from your lips. Your hand trailed up to your lips, covering your mouth to hide any sounds you might produce. 

Soft sounds emanated from Bradley, your thighs squeezing together as you listened. A loop of excuses kept playing in your brain, telling you that what was happening was wrong but you couldn’t stop your thighs from tightening. It took everything inside of you not to rock back into him, for your and his sanity. But it wasn’t much longer before Bradley was stirring awake. A soft ‘hmm’ was all you heard, his arm loosening around you, then there was a light scramble. 

“Oh my god.” That’s when you decided to put the intro to acting class to work. You played dumb, acting like you were asleep. After letting out a sleep noise, one you knew Bradley wouldn’t decipher, you rolled onto your back to look at him. You squint your eyes, putting on your best sleepy face. 

“What?” Bradley sat up and scooted away from you, a small pang of hurt in your chest. A sheen of sweat coated his face, a rosy tint to his cheeks. His eyes met yours for a moment, only to be broken by him. Bradley threw the blankets off of him, scooting down to the end of the bed. This was not the reaction you were expecting. 

“Bradley?” He stopped, hand resting on the door handle. 

“I’ll be back.” Panic flooded through you as he left. Thoughts of your friendship being now ruined were playing on repeat. You knew Bradley was going to come back into the bedroom and tell you to leave, that he would book a flight home for you. There was no doubt about it. You just let your best friend rut against your ass, and didn’t stop it. Of course, your friendship would be ruined. 

But it didn’t seem that way. Bradley had come back to the room, asking if he woke you and promptly apologizing. Then the day went on as normal, or what had become the normal for the both of you. 

The two of you were laying out on the couch, Amelia hidden in her room, Mav sitting in the living room with you. Pete and Bradley were watching River Monsters on the TV, the size of the fish casually catching your attention every now and then. Your phone was mainly holding your attention as you rested your head on Bradley’s thigh. Every now and then he would peer down at you, raising his eyebrows with a light expression on his face. You couldn’t make out what it really meant, but you knew it wasn’t anything bad. 

You looked back at your phone as the British man on the TV screen talked about the fish he was set after. That’s when a text notification flashed across the top of your screen. One from the group chat. 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: tongiht fuckers

Dagger Squad, Javs: are you drunk already? 

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Where? 

Dagger Squad, Nat: Jake, you better not be 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: one typo and everyone thinks you’re drunk

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i’m at work assholes

Dagger Squad, Jakey: except you Reuben, you’re not an asshole 

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Thanks. 

A chuckle left you, the sling of texts getting the better of you. Bradley noticed your laugh, giving you a questioning look. An amused huff left Bradley after you offered your phone to him. 

“How could we not? He was notorious for showing up to 8am’s still drunk or hungover.” That caught Mav’s attention, him perking up like a puppy. 

“Seresin?” Bradley nodded to Mav, you turning to look at Mav. It didn’t really surprise you that Mav knew of Jake. It surprised you that he knew what his tendencies were. “Wild kid.” Bradley let out a hearty laugh. 

“That’s what you call it? Come on Mav, I’ve heard you call him much worse.” Mav smiled, a small nod barely noticeable. Bradley had told Mav all about Jake in college, the goods and bads. 

“That’s what I’ll leave it at. Don’t want to say anything that gets me in trouble.” 

“Like how he has an ego that could rival the size of Jupiter?” Mav caught your smirk, your words pulling a chuckle from him. 

“Something like that.” It was true. Jake had a huge ego, it was apparent from the first moment you met him. He had just this aura about him that screamed ‘asshole with confidence’, even if the first part wasn’t fully true. Yes, he was an ass a lot of the time, but he did care deeply for all of you. 

“Are you two going out tonight? With Jake?” Bradley’s lips bunched to one side of his mouth. 

“Guess so.” 

For a Tuesday night the bar was packed. Even though Natasha had argued for Midland Street bar hopping, everyone decided Frick’s was probably the better choice. They weren’t the spry young college kids they used to be. The idea of walking from bar to bar while stumbling wasn’t appealing to you, especially in the fifteen degree weather. Plus, the thirty minute drive to Frick’s was better than the forty-five to Midland Street. 

Jake lightened up the minute he saw you and Bradley walk in. Jake stopped you for a moment, making you turn to show off your outfit. It wasn’t anything crazy, jeans and a cropped knit sweater. Natasha greeted Bradley immediately. Your face scrunched a little when Natasha pulled Bradley down, whispering something to him. The lighting wasn’t the best, but there was no mistaking the blush that crept up his neck. 

“You two fuck yet?” Jake’s comment pulled you from your stare. You slapped his chest with the back of your hand, giving him a scowl. 

“Jake, this is why nobody tells you anything.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the table. 

“People tell me things.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the wrist of his hand that was dangling off your shoulder. 

“Javy doesn’t count.” Jake feigned a hurt look at your teasing.

“But Javy is people.” You squeezed his wrist, chuckling at his joke. Javy appeared from the bathroom, reminding you of his rule to empty his bladder before drinking. Bradley and Natasha sat down across the table from you. This had to be the first time for the entire trip that Bradley wasn’t sitting next to you. There was a small ache in your chest, watching him scoot closer to the table across from you. Jake sitting next to you was fine, but it just wasn’t Bradley.

“Is Robert coming?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah, Bob is coming.” You replied, seeing Natasha give a confirming nod. 

“Mickey?” Another nod from Nat. “Good, getting those two to reply is like pulling teeth. Reuben even replies faster than them, and he never replies.” You rolled your eyes at Jake’s comment. Group chats weren’t Bob, Mickey, or Reuben’s thing. Hell, Bradley barely responded in the group chat either. 

“What do I never do?” All of you turned to see Reuben, a long wool peacoat and scarf adorning him. That was one thing Reuben was always good at, dressing exceptionally well. You almost jumped out of your chair, hurrying around the table to hug him. It had been years since you saw Reuben. He wasn’t the best at keeping up with people, living in his own realm of existence. You were a little jealous of it, but it did supply you for satisfying reunions. 

“Aye, and Payback is here!” Jake announced, getting out of his own chair to get a hug from Reuben. Reuben rolled his eyes at Jake’s nickname, one that he earned at university for always getting payback on Jake. Jake and Mickey were always trying to pull pranks on Reuben, trying to rile him up. To which Reuben reciprocated, pranking them in ten fold. 

Reuben took his seat at the end of the table, knowing the free seat on your left was meant for Bob. There was a matching open seat across from it, free for Mickey. 

“Yes, Mickey is coming. Class was running a bit late for him.” Sometimes you forgot that Mickey was a teacher. Not just a teacher, a professor. A professor of fine art to be precise. He taught at one of the local community colleges and recreation centers, teaching a few different types of art classes. 

“You got an excuse for Bob?” Jake asked, earning an eye roll from Javy. 

“Dude, this is the first time we’ve all seen each other in years. Why you being like this?” Javy questioned. You and everyone agreed, joining in on scorning Jake for his questioning manner. 

“Excuse me for wanting to know when my friend gets here.” His hands moved up in a defensive manner. That was when the waitress came by, taking drink orders and checking everyone’s ID. Bradley was oddly quiet, making you wonder what was going on in his brain. What had Natasha whispered to him? He wasn’t nervous the entire thirty minute car ride, so why now? 

About ten minutes passed before Bob and Mickey showed up, the both of them getting there at the same time. Bob quickly took his place next to you, Mickey sitting across from him. They both gave you these looks, ones that nobody else picked up on. They knew. They knew what had happened that morning. 

A new group chat had been formed that morning. One of just the three of you. It started initially as a ‘I need to tell Mickey and Bob that Bradley was just dry humping me in his sleep and I didn’t do anything about it’ that turned into a ‘I think I might be in love with Bradley’. Bob and Mickey weren’t surprised by either thoughts. But now you were sitting at a table with them, the temptation of teasing you right in front of them. There was a small tension, one Reuben immediately picked up on.

“So.. how’s everyone been?” Reuben asked, wanting to keep the topic off the obvious. If Mickey knew anything, Reuben knew it too. Their connection started when they were roommates, only strengthening over time. 

“Good! Kids are good too!” Javy didn’t have kids, he had students. He treated them as if they were his own, doting on all of them with an equal amount of care. 

“Still don’t know how you put up with them.” Natasha said, sipping on her gin and tonic. Bradley smiled, agreeing with a nod. 

“Well, I don’t get how you can stare at numbers all day.” Javy teased, sticking his tongue out at her. 

“It’s not that hard.” Jake chimed in. Now it was your turn to join in the conversation. 

“Says the engineer.” Jake rolled his eyes. 

“What can I say,” Jake shrugged, “I’m special.” Jake grabbed his beer bottle for a long swig. 

“If that’s what you want to call it.” Bradley said, earning giggles from everyone around the table. 

That was how the night went. All of you catching up, discussing life and things you all had planned. The topic of what you and Bradley were editing came up, Reuben curious about what new books might hit the market soon. Bob had mentioned that he was doing something computer related, not wanting to explain and potentially confuse everyone. Apparently the private accounting business Natasha started earlier that year was booming; something you never thought could describe accounting. 

Bradley’s gaze would occasionally fall on you throughout the night. While at the table they would flick from your eyes to your lips, every now and then settling on the exposed skin of your neck. His looks only became more frequent after a round of shots. That hazel gaze raking over your body once you all moved to the pool table. It only got worse when you would lean over to take your shot.

That morning had been a confirmation for Bradley, confirming his own feelings for you. It wasn’t a sudden thing, feelings he had been thinking about for a few weeks now. He was hoping this trip would just confirm you being his best friend. But that was not what happened. Every time he looked at you his heart swelled, constantly fighting the urge to press his lips to yours. Not to mention he was waking up almost every morning with a hard on because of dream you. So watching you bend over against the pool table, wiggle your hips slightly before taking your shot was painful. What was even more painful when a guy approached you at the bar. 

You didn’t really remember when you finished off your last drink, or what drink you were even on. You finished the game of pool you were playing before getting a new one. Bradley had told you during the car ride there that he would only have one beer. Which he had already had, not that you were keeping count. You did count that he was on glass three of water though. 

The bar wasn’t too crowded, just a handful of older men hanging out while having some type of whiskey you assumed. The bartender took your drink order, cracking the redbull for it and reaching for the cherry vodka. That was when someone creeped up beside you, waving at the bartender for the next order. An uncomfortable feeling settled over you, feeling a pair of eyes on you. A pair of unfamiliar eyes. 

“Hey.” You looked at the guy next to you, awkwardly smiling and acknowledging him with a nod. You didn’t say anything though, hoping he would leave you be. “You look good.” That made your eyebrows knit together. 

“Sorry, do I know you?” 

“No, but I’d like to get to know you.” You could smell the alcohol on his breath, a grimace coursing through your body. 

“No.” It was a simple word, one you figured would get the point across. 

“Come on sweets, can’t yo-” 

“She said no.” That familiar gruff voice was behind you. You weren’t sure when Bradley had appeared behind you, but you were more than happy about it.

“And who are you, buddy?” That question sparked something in Bradley, his nostrils flaring. Warmth wrapped around your waist, Bradley’s arm tugging you close to him.

“Boyfriend, now get the fuck out of here. She’s taken.” A shiver ran down your spine, a heat pooling between your thighs. Fuck, why did that make you so hot? It had to be the alcohol, not the fact Bradley was calling you his. Your hand rested against his chest, leaning into him to further his words into the stranger's brain. After the stranger left, you grabbed your drink from the bar. The warmth of Bradley’s arm never left you, even when you two walked towards the group. 

It felt like you were vibrating when everyone saw you again. Everyone had giant smirks on their faces, Bob, Reuben, and Mickey whispering between each other. Jake’s smirk was shit-eating, full of a smugness you had shockingly never seen from him before. Javy nudged Nat with his elbow, both of their smirks were full of affection. 

“Some asshole at the bar wouldn’t leave her alone.” Bradley stated when you two returned, the warmth of his arm disappeared. For the rest of the time Bradley fetched all of your drinks, from cider to shots. He was currently at the bar for a round of shots for you, Bob, Mickey, and Reuben. 

“You two make quite the pair,” Reuben took a swig of his beer, “always have if I’m being honest.” 

“And after this morning?” A heat filled you at Mickey’s words, a mix of the alcohol and embarrassment. 

“Can we not talk about that?” Bob let out a chuckle.

“What? Worried he will find you were awake the whole time?” 

“Oh, don’t act like a fucking saint Bob. We all know the shit you got up to in college.” Reuben and Mickey laughed, Bob’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“No idea what you’re talking about.” An eye roll was all you gave him. 

“So when do you two fly back?” Mickey asked. None of you noticed Bradley reappear, two shots in each hand. A part of you had forgotten that bartending is what he did to help pay his way through college. 

“December thirty-first.” Bradley answered, setting the shots all down on the table. You passed him the water you had been guarding for him. The four of you with shots toasted, Bradley toasting his water cup to you all. The liquor burned as it traveled down your throat. You weren’t completely drunk, but there was definitely a thick haze wrapped around your mind. 

“Just in time for New Years.” Reuben said, leaning back and wrapping his arm behind Mickey’s chair. A small staring contest had started between you and Bob, his blue eyes intense with knowing. 

“Guess so.” A part of you knew Reuben’s words meant more than the obvious, but the last shot was already starting to catch up to you. The haze only got worse as the night went on. Natasha was fucking with Bradley at the dart board, teasing him after every shot. Jake, Javy, Mickey, and Reuben were all playing pool; teams of two which weren’t uncommon for them. Bob sat with you at the table, taking immediate notice to your zoning stare. 

“Hey, hey.” Bob waved his hand, breaking your trance and grabbing your attention. The haze in your brain was more intense than you initially thought. A small smile was what you offered him. Bob let out a sigh. 

“How you feelin’?”  He adjusted his glasses. The chatter from the rest of the bar was mind numbing, starting to overwhelm your brain. A nausea started to settle in your stomach, bubbling into your throat. Your hands ran over your face, everything becoming too much all at once. The sounds. Your friends. The trip. Bradley.

After your hands loosened from your face your eyes caught him. His mustache twitching upwards as he held Natasha’s final dart high and out of reach. It was the same look you had watched him give Amelia during your snowball fight. Something feisty but full of warmth and care. Similar to what a big brother would give his sister. It made you think about all the looks that Bradley had given you over the trip. 

They were nothing like the looks Amelia and Natasha got. Every time you had caught him looking at you there was a softness to his gaze. A type of adoration laced into it. It made you think if his look for you had always been like that. Not the goofy caring older brother look, but the one you only gave to lovers. The look that told you he would be there through thick and thin, never leaving your side when you needed him the most. 

Everything was starting to make your head spin. Bob had concern written all over his face now. Your delayed response was really starting to stress him out. 

“Water. Fresh air. I need it all.” Bob nodded, watching you start to struggle with getting your coat on. After that he wrapped an arm around your midsection, keeping you steady against his body. The two of you made it to the bar, getting a glass of water before heading outside. Bob held the glass of water until you two were outside, sitting on the smokers bench outside. 

It didn’t surprise you that nobody was out here, it was fucking freezing. But the cold was refreshing, keeping the liquid fire coursing through your body at bay. Bob handed you the glass of water, watching as you took small sips. He ran a hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses briefly. A silence settled between the two of you, both of you watching each visible exhale. 

“Why.” Bob looked at you, not sure whether you were actually asking a question or not. 

“Why what?” The water in your glass was comforting, slightly warmer than the air surrounding you two. 

“You know.” You turned your head a little, looking towards Bob. He did the same, giving you a melancholic look. “Feelings suck.” Bob let out a small huff, one that sounded amused. 

“It's not a bad thing, liking him.” His friendly smile returned. 

“I’m afraid it might be the ‘L’ word though.” You confessed. 

“Lesbians?” You gave him a playful swat, almost spilling your water in the process. You were impressed that he would quote Scott Pilgrim at a time like this. “I know,” he clarified, “and I think you do. Maybe you have for a while.” 

It was probably true. You had only thought of him as a friend for so long, it was hard to find the exact point you realized you cared for him more than that. All those late nights at the office and editing manuscripts together were starting to feel different. You wanted to say your feelings didn’t start til you were here, but that would be a lie. The double proof reads he offered you on manuscripts, the cups of coffee when you didn’t ask, even the way he lied about you being his girlfriend. It was all muddy and confusing, but it made you warm inside. 

“Bob,” it was barely a whisper, “I don’t know what to do.” Tears pricked at your waterline, a frown forming on your lips. Bob wrapped an arm around you, letting you rest your head against his  shoulder. He felt bad for you. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew that you truly didn’t know what to do. 

“I think you should get some sleep, then figure out what to do.” You nodded, the material of his carhartt coat rough on your cheek. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.” 

Bob placed a kiss on the top of your head. He sat with you until you finished your glass of water. It was perfect timing really. Bob decided to go find Bradley, only for Bradley to walk outside in a slight panic. Relief flooded over him when he saw you with Bob, worried the asshole from earlier might have come back to find you. 

Getting into the car was a bit of a challenge. Alcohol always made it harder to use your legs, balance becoming difficult. Bradley helped you though, Bob awkwardly standing to the side. Bob didn’t want to leave until he knew you were good. Bradley finished buckling up your seatbelt, closing the door before talking to Bob.

“Thanks man, I got really worried when I couldn’t find her.” Bob nodded, patting Bradley on the shoulder. 

“Bradley,” Bob paused for a moment, “take good care of her. Nat’s told me, and I just, don’t hurt her.” Bradley nodded softly, not fully sure how to respond to Bob. 

“Well, I don’t even kn-”

“She does. Trust me, she does.” Bob said. He patted Bradley’s shoulder one more time before heading back towards the bar. 

Bradley slipped inside the car, looking over at your already sleeping form. A soft smile formed on his lips as he admired you. You looked so peaceful while drunk and asleep. He let out a sigh, chuckling quietly to himself. You made his heart ache in ways he never thought it could. Everything about you he adored, it had only taken some time for him to realize it. He twisted the ignition, figuring it was time to finally head home. 

Bradley kept a watchful eye over you the entire ride home, checking periodically to see if you were waking up or not. But you never did, not until the final stop in the driveway. Even then it took a few minutes for you to stir. Bradley didn't mind that though, being able to admire you for a few more minutes.

"Are we home?" A sleepy haze was still casted over you, eyes not fully open and words raspy.You turned inward, on your side a little bit as you stared at him. It looked as though you were fighting to stay awake. 

"Yeah." Bradley wished you would have slept a little longer, anything to prevent him from not being next to you. He turned towards you, watching as you leaned deeper into the seat of the car.

"I'm tired." Your voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know," Bradley smiled, "you slept the whole way here." You ran a hand over your face, yawning afterwards and closing your eyes. "How do you feel?" You shrugged. 

"Just sleepy." You had never wanted to sleep in the passenger seat more than in that moment. 

"Hey, hey, babe. Let's get inside, then you can sleep in a big warm bed, okay?" Bradley started to panic, thinking you had already fallen back asleep. The sleepy flutter of your eye lashes informed him otherwise. You nodded, unbuckling your seat belt and sitting up a little bit. Bradley watched you closely, unbuckling his own seat belt. “You good? Gonna throw up or anything?” 

“No.” Another borderline whisper. Even though there was a thick mixture of sleep and alcohol coating your brain, it hung onto that one word. Babe. Bradley exiting the car and coming around to your side didn’t even register on your radar. Suddenly your door was opening, Bradley with a big warm smile staring at you. Why was he being like this? There was no one around to watch this fake arrangement currently, so why? 

“Come on, babe. We gotta get you inside.” There it was again. Bradley wrapped an arm under your armpits, you placing one around his shoulders. It was awkward, him being taller than you, but you two made it work. 

The two of you made your way slowly up the small driveway, to the steps leading to the door. Bradley quickly unlocked it, still holding onto you so you wouldn’t fall. It was like your legs were jello, barely supporting your weight without his help. You caught yourself onto the small bench in the foyer-like room, slumping back against the wall. Your eyes were trained on Bradley as he closed and locked the door. 

“Haven’t been this drunk in awhile, huh?” He asked, taking his coat off and hanging it up. Slow-motion had taken over your brain, slowing your movements. You had never realized how hard it was to unzip a coat until that moment. Bradley watched you struggle for a moment, finding your struggle with the zipper a little adorable. He hadn’t seen you this drunk since college. 

“Here, let me help you, babe.” That time something clicked in your brain. You let him take over on unzipping your coat, only for a jumbled question to exit you. 

“Why.. Why do you keep sayin’ it?” Bradley’s face scrunched together. He was now kneeling in front of you, taking your boots off because he knew that’d be a task you couldn’t handle. At least in your current state. 

“Keep saying what?” Bradley helped you up, holding you close to him until you were stable. 

“There’s no one around.” He shook his head, still confused. He led you into the kitchen, headed towards the stairs. You tripped a little up the stairs, Bradley shifted your weight more onto him for the trip up the stairs. 

“I’m still not sure what you’re talking about.” Bradley said, the two of you stumbling towards the bedroom. The wood floor under your feet felt slick, balance evading you due to the feeling. Just before getting to the bedroom, the slick sensation had you tumbling towards the wall. Bradley caught you from falling completely, pressing you into the wall with his body. The weight of his body on yours had your mind spinning. It was the first time you had fully opened your eyes since getting home. The mixture coating your brain was immediately gone, clarity appearing out of thin air. 

Bradley’s eyes flicked down to your slightly parted lips. He wanted to kiss you so badly. It was like his mouth was salivating with need. His hazel eyes flicked back up to yours, taking in your wide eyes. Guilt immediately flooded over him, reminding himself of your current state and how this might come off.

“I- I’m just trying to hold you up.” Bradley stammered, pulling his body away from yours. 

“I know.” 

“I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you or anything.” Bradley suddenly felt nervousness bubble in his chest. 

“Bradley,” you let out a long breath, “you keep calling me babe. Why? Nobody is around for the charade, so why?” You gestured to the empty hallway, emphasizing the nobody being there part of your sentence. 

Bradley’s face scrunched together. He hadn’t noticed himself calling you babe, but looking back he definitely did. In the car, getting you out of the car, taking your boots off. He called you babe each time. He knew why, but he was now nervous to tell you. 

“Habit.” He whispered. That whisper caught your attention. You narrowed your eyes at him, one of your hands creeping up to touch the black t-shirt under his flannel. The words were on the tip of your tongue, threatening to spill out. I love you. But instead your hand balled into a fist, pulling on the fabric of the shirt. You pushed off the wall, letting go of his shirt. 

“Of course it was.” You said. Bradley raised an eyebrow, not sure what your response really meant. He remained silent though as you started walking towards the bedroom, one hand out against the wall for support. He stayed in the hallway for a moment, cursing himself for not just telling you the truth. He wanted you to be sober for that though, wanted to know you’d remember it. He knew you weren’t black out, but he didn’t want you to write it off as your imagination. 

When he walked into the bedroom you were practically nude. Your sweater was off, jeans on the floor, currently struggling to get your bra off. Bradley quickly placed his hands on your hips, steadying you when you almost fell over. A gasp passed your lips, his searing hot hands on your skin. Bradley tried not to focus on the sensation of your panties barely touching the edge of his hands. His hands ghosted over your skin, finding their way to the clip of your bra. Your hands moved to the front of your chest, holding your breasts. 

“Let me help you,” Bradley let out a shaky breath, “before you hurt yourself.” You nodded, feeling the strap of your bra loosen. Bradley quickly found your sleep shirt, standing behind you once more. You let your bra fall, covering your chest with your hands still. Bradley got the shirt over your head, moving the collar of it down around your neck. You grabbed at the hem of the shirt, pulling it down around your body and putting your arms through the short sleeves. 

Then Bradley found your sweat pants. He kneeled down in front of you, his face level with your panties now. It took everything in Bradley not to press a kiss to your hip. Instead he guided each pant leg around your ankles, you putting a steady hand on his shoulder. Bradley was sure that his skin was going to have a mark, the warmth of your touch branding him for good. Marking him as yours and only yours. Your hand stayed on his shoulder as he stood up, trailing to the nap of his neck. He held back a gasp when he felt your finger lightly play with his hair. 

This was the most intimate thing Bradley had ever experienced. Yeah, he had fucked people in the past, but this? Dressing his best friend that he also had feelings for? He wasn’t sure if he would ever experience anything like it ever again. It was so sweet and tender. Just like the look you were giving him. 

“Sleep with me.” You whispered. 

Bradley was a goner. 

He nodded, helping you into bed before changing into his own clothes. You watched him change, eyes wandering all over his body. He crawled in the bed behind you, arm moving around your midsection. He pulled you tight against him, his chest flush with your back. You hummed lightly, basking in the warmth you had grown to love over the past few days. 

Some remnants of alcohol were starting to affect you once again. Thoughts swirled in your brain, finally working up the courage. It wasn’t like you hadn’t told him it before, like when he brought you a surprise cup of coffee or paid for the late night take out. It would be different this time though. 

“I love you.” Bradley almost didn’t hear the borderline whisper, but he did. 

There was a pause, one that started to fill you with doubt and anxiety. A part of you wished to take it back. Wanting to have not fucked up your entire friendship. A hot breath appeared on your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. Bradley was leaning up towards your ear, wanting to make sure you heard every last word. 

“I love you, too.” 

-

Neither of you spoke about that night for the rest of the trip. There was a silent agreement established that night, Bradley sharing the bed with you. His makeshift bed was finally dismantled, and so did your denial of liking Bradley. After the drunken confession of your love, it was like a weight had been lifted off your chest. Bradley felt a similar sensation about saying it back. 

Penny and Pete both said you were more than welcome to come back. Amelia had mentioned she noticed something had changed between the two of you, but didn’t elaborate. So, you didn’t tell her what had changed. But you were sad to leave them, knowing that they were the ones inadvertently protecting you from conversation that needed to be had. 

But it never came. The entire car ride to the airport was almost a carbon copy of the previous drive. You got the GPS ready for Bradley then slept in the passenger seat. Bradley stole a few glances, trying to take as many mental pictures as possible. He was certain that whatever happened that night was a trip only occurrence. One he would never get the chance for ever again. 

The airport was almost empty, most people out celebrating for the New Years. Bradley told you that was the exact reason he booked the flight for New Years Eve. A forlorn feeling hung between the both of you. It felt like this was the end of the road. Neither of you had the courage to ask what was to happen now. You wanted to ask, ask if the two of you would be going back to occasional outings and late nights at the office. As much as you wanted to know, a part of you didn’t want to. If you knew, it would be final. 

Instead, you two only made small talk about the check in process. Casual jokes and borderline uncomfortable silences were exchanged before boarding. It was even worse on the plane. Bradley put his headphones in, flicking on a podcast to listen to while you curled up near the window. The rest of the flight was quick, the entire thing being only about two hours. The city that never slept had never felt more comforting when you got back. The drive from Queens to The Bronx was going to be long, the traffic of New Years in full swing. 

Music filled the space of the car, the two of you barely talking. The lights of the city teased you through the window. It was like they were poking and prodding your brain. Snowflakes hit the window and windshield, melting on impact from the warmth of the car. A dread filled the both of you as Bradley got closer to your apartment. It felt as though these bottled up emotions would stay as just that. Bottled up and left on a shelf in the back of your hearts. 

Even when Bradley pulled up to the curb, dropping you off, it was silent. Bradley stared straight forward, focused on the car parked in front of him. The sounds of your bags being pulled out of the car were clawing at his brain. They were the sound of his time running out. He could tell you at work on Tuesday, but maybe your feelings would be different by then. The closing on the backseat door pulled him out of his thoughts. You knocked on the window, gesturing for him to put it down. 

“Thank you.” You smiled warmly. “It was fun, meeting your family and seeing everyone. I’m glad I was able to help.” Your brain was screaming to say the three words, hoping he wouldn’t have forgotten the first time you said them. 

“Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for coming with and being my fake girlfriend.” Bradley wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. He watched as your smile faded, giving him an affirming nod. 

“I’m gonna head up now. I’ll see you at work?” 

“Yeah, see you at work.” Bradley rolled the window up, watching you walk away. Your figure was altered by the droplets of melted snowflakes, making you seem more distant. Bradley felt a prickle at his waterline, knowing tears would be coming sooner or later. You opened the door for the stairway that led to your apartment, vanishing out of Bradley’s view. Bradley leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes tightly. 

Tears threatened to pour down your cheeks the entire walk up the stairs. For once you hated that you lived on the third floor. Hated that it gave you so much time to think about the day. All of the never ending silence. It was clear that there was something broken between the two of you. The relationship strained or shattered. You quickly slotted the key into the door, knowing that once you were in your apartment you would be okay. It would mean you were safe. Safe to let out all of your emotions. 

But no tears fell once you crossed the threshold of your apartment. It was almost a numbing sensation instead. You slipped your coat off with ease, hanging it up by the door. The urge to put your suitcase and carry-on away disappeared. It wasn’t until you sat on the couch everything hit you. No sob wracked through you, only silent tears fell. The warm streaks heated your face, your lips turning into a small frown. 

A knock at your door had you wiping away the tears. You had no idea why someone would be knocking on your door this late. After getting to the door you checked the peephole, seeing a rather worked up looking Bradley. Confusion coursed through your body, not sure why he would be back. He let you go, what did he want now? You unlocked the door, opening it to see Bradley’s eyes widen. 

“Bradley, wha-” His hands cupped both sides of your face, smashing his lips against yours. You melted into the kiss, the hairs of his mustache lightly poking your upper lip. It was like something exploded inside of you, spurring you on to kiss him back. 

The two of you made it into your apartment, Bradley kicking the door closed with his foot. You tried trailing for his lips when he pulled back from yours. Even though your lungs were burning for air, you wanted to feel more of him. His forehead pressed lightly against your own, hazel eyes boring into your own. 

“I love you.” Hearing those three words from Bradley cracked the bottle, letting your emotions flow freely. 

“I love you too.” A tear fell from the corner of your eye. Bradley swiped it away, pressing his lips to yours once again. A river of passion flowed freely between the two of you. Your arms trailed up to wrap around his neck and shoulders; one of his hands ghosting down to your waist, the other cupping your jaw still. 

Teeth and tongue clashed while the two of you moved to the hallway of your apartment. The wall pressed into your back as Bradley pressed his hips into yours. A whine broke from you when you felt his semi-hard cock pressing into your hip. Wet kisses trailed down to your jaw and neck, the scratch of his mustache intoxicating. Bradley moaned against your skin when he felt you tug on the hair at the base of his head. 

“I’ve been wanting this all trip. Kissing you like this, having you pressed against me like this.” Bradley whispered into your ear, nipping at your earlobe. He pulled back to look at you, still cupping your jaw. His thumb softly rubbed your cheek, “I love you so much.”

“Why didn’t you kiss me that night?” The question passed your lips before you could stop it. Bradley nuzzled into the side of your neck, pressing soft searing kisses to your skin. 

“You were drunk.” Bradley slotted a leg between your thighs, rocking lightly to earn a moan from you. 

“Why not any other night?” Your words were breathy. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted it.” The hand on your jaw trailed down, cupping your breast over your knit sweater. Your hips bucked against his thigh, kisses trailing down your neck.

Both of his hands ghosted down to the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up over your body. Bradley marveled at the image before him. The person he had cared for for years looked so innocent before him. The soft pink bralette you wore enticed him, teasing him with what he could now have. It wasn’t until your arms pulled up to cover yourself slightly did his concern take over. 

A part of you felt nervous, finally having Bradley like this. Letting him see you so bare and vulnerable for him. It wasn’t his first time seeing you like this, a few college run ins and the instance during the trip. But this was different. You were offering your body up to him, trusting him to please you and care for every inch of you. It was subconscious when you shied away. 

“You do want this, right?” Bradley’s forefinger touched your chin, tilting your face. His hazel eyes were intoxicating and comforting. They let you know you were safe. You nodded. 

“I do, I want you.” Bradley pressed a soft kiss to your lips, mustache prickling your upper lip lightly. 

Strands of hair threaded through your fingers, you tugging softly to urge Bradley on.

Bradley picked up on it, hands ghosting down your sides to your hips. His tongue was soft on your lips, asking for permission to enter your mouth. His hips rocked into yours, you feeling his cock growing harder. Moans and whimpers fell from the both of you, rocking together while exploring each other's mouths. It felt like you were in high school again, the excitement of minimal contact vibrating through your body. 

Your fingers moved downward, trailing at the bottom of Bradley’s own sweater. He caught onto the hint, moving his torso back from yours to pull his sweater and t-shirt off. Rough yet soft fingers ghosted over the band of your bralette. The material felt almost as soft as your skin to Bradley, his cock twitching at the thought. His fingers trailed the material up to the strap that rested on your left shoulder. He eased it down, kissing at your shoulder and collarbone. 

“You’re so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.” The whisper on your skin sent goosebumps blossoming all over you. “I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Bradley’s fingers dipped below the band of your bralette, tugging up over your chest to expose your breasts. Your nipples were pert and eager for Bradley’s touch. 

One of your hands went to his hair, tugging as he took one of your breasts into his mouth. Your back arched off the wall, pushing your breast flush with his mouth. Gasps fell from your lips as his other hand came to your other breast, fingers pinching and playing with your other nipple. Bradley groaned against your tit, the vibrations traveling to your cunt. Your insides tightened, pleading you for more. 

“Bradley, please. I need more.” Bradley let your breast go from his mouth, pressing his hips tighter to yours. He rolled them, his cock rubbing at the apex of your thighs. 

“Tell me, Tell me you want me.” A red flush had grown up Bradley’s chest, adorning his neck and cheeks now. Your free hand trailed down his chest, the need to just touch him too great. 

“I want you to feel you,” the hand trailed up to his shoulder, “I want you to make love to me.” 

Bradley couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped him. He smashed his lips into yours, hands cupping your breasts before traveling lower. He made quick work of the button on your jeans, messily shifting your pants down your thighs. A small giggle bubbled out of you as you chased his lips, not wanting the kiss to end. 

He kneeled in front of you, easing your jeans off your legs. Small soft kisses littered the front of your thighs with the accompaniment of pricks from his mustache. Fingertips ghosted up the sides of your legs, gently guiding your panties down. The kisses traveled up your thighs to your hips, both of your hands diving into his hair. Two fingers ran through your folds, briefly touching that sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“Fuck, Bradley.” Bradley pressed his mouth to your folds, flicking his tongue between them. Your body lurched over him slightly, whining as his tongue ravished your clit. 

One of Bradley’s hands moved up to separate your folds, his tongue diving deeper between them. Small prickles of his mustache could be felt on your sensitive flesh, your fingers tightening in his hair at the feeling. The flicks of his tongue drove you crazy, a tense sensation in your abdomen forming. Your head fell back, moans pouring from your lips as Bradley continued his assault. 

“Your tongue feels so good.” It was barely above a whisper, laced with a moan as your hips started to push towards his face. 

Small ripples of pleasure coursed through you, adding to the imminent wave of pleasure that was about to crash over you. Bradley groaned against you, shaking his face back and forth on you. Bradley flattened his tongue, wiggling it back and forth across your clit. The motion was overwhelming, a shudder running through your body from it. You tried to pull him off of you, knowing if he kept it up you would be a goner. Bradley let you tug at his hair harshly, never budging from you. 

The wave of pleasure you had been anticipating crashed over you. Intense pleasure flooded your system, making it hard to think. All you could do was roll your hips against Bradley's tongue. Your hands kept him pulled tightly on you, mustache digging into your folds. Bradley didn't mind, the image of you unraveling on his face had his cock twitching in his jeans. The sounds falling from you were angelic to him. An endless mantra of his name with moans mixed in. 

"Brad-Bradley! Sto-stop!" Bradley finally pulled back, letting you get some much needed relief. There was a thin sheen to his mustache, the hallway light showing it at the right angles. 

"That was so hot." Bradley stood up, kissing you gingerly. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for an intense kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, a small wetness prickling your upper lip. 

One of your hands trailed down his chest, earning a groan from him. Only the fabric of his jeans and boxers separated the two of you. His jean clad hips rolled into your bare ones. You cupped him through his jeans, reminding you of his size. With one hand you unbuttoned his jeans, pushing your hand into his boxers. Bradley pulled back, resting his forehead against yours while letting out a loud groan. 

"Fuck, babe, your hand feels so good." Feeling him praise you lightly sent a shudder through you, your insides clenching. 

His cock was warm and velvety in your hand, pulsing and twitching with each stroke. Bradley's head drifted to your shoulder, lips haphazardly kissing at the skin. Your touch was intoxicating, his brain going fuzzy as your strokes continued. A tightness in his abdomen had started to form. One of his hands grabbed your wrist, pulling it from the inside of his boxers. 

"As much as I'd love for you to continue, I need to be in you now." Bradley whispered against your skin. His words had you arching, nodding your head in agreement. 

The thought of his hard cock opening you up, stretching you until you couldn't take it had you moaning. Your tits were pressed tightly against his chest as your lips collided once more. You pulled back from the kiss, taking his hand and leading him down the hallway to your bedroom. He rid himself of his jeans and boxers as soon as he got to your room. Bradley had you on the bed quickly, hands groping and massaging your sides. His lips ghosted over your skin as he slotted himself between your legs. 

His cock rested against your folds, twitching every now and then. The two of you kissed, consuming everything the other had to offer. Bradley rolled his hips into yours. His cock pushed through your folds and rubbed against your clit. Your legs fell further apart, preparing yourself for the pleasure that was about to come. Bradley pulled back from you. Your eyes locked with his as he grabbed the base of his cock. 

The head of his cock prodded at your entrance. Bradley watched your lashes flutter while he pushed into you. A gasp falling from your lips as he continued. Your gaze never broke his those. He watched your face as you took all of him, filling you to the hilt. 

Once Bradley bottomed out, he started pressing kisses all over you. His hips were still as he littered you with kisses. Forehead, cheeks, neck, jaw, shoulders. All touched by the tender grace of his lips. Gentle roaming of his hands around your body kept you grounded in this reality. The two of you sat there for a few moments, him peppering your skin as your walls adjusted to his size. A kiss was pressed to your cheek before he pulled back to look down at you. 

“Hey.” The word was barely above a whisper, one hand moving up to caress your cheek. 

“Hey.” You whispered back, leaning up to kiss him. Bradley shifted his hips, pulling back a little before pushing back in. 

It was a soft rocking pace he created. His hips slowly rolled, his hands moving to hike your legs up around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hand threading through his hair as he nuzzled into you. Moans and whimpers poured from the both of you, an occasional whisper of each other’s name. His pace picked up, hips moving slightly faster and harder.

“You feel so good,” Bradley groaned, “I don’t know how long I’ll last.” 

Every twitch of his cock you could feel. Your walls squeezed around him, earning a moan from the both of you. He slowed his thrusts for a moment, not wanting to come too soon. Bradley wanted this moment to last forever, even though he knew it wouldn’t. He stopped his thrusts completely, staying seated inside of you completely though. Bradley moved up to sit on his heels, looking down at you. 

His gaze raked over you, moaning when he saw his cock pressed into you. One of his hands settled between your breasts, trailing down to your hips. His thrusts picked back up, the new angle hitting that sensitive spot inside of you. Your walls were clenched tightly around him, the both of you letting your heads drop back. 

“If you do that one more time.” Bradley smirked as he looked down at you. You intentionally squeezed your walls around him, listening to the deep groan that emanated from his throat. 

“Or what?” You playfully joked. Bradley’s hands coasted down your legs, grabbing your hips tightly. 

“Or this.” Bradley almost pulled all the way out, his tip still inside of you. He rammed his hips forward, hitting that spot inside of you. Your back arched hard, an almost painful moan ripping from you. Bradley leaned back down over you, caging you in between his arms. 

“I love you.” Bradley whispered, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe. 

“I love you, too.” Bradley kept up a softer pace, edging the both of you closer to your climaxes. 

It was one of the most intense orgasms you had ever experienced. All your muscles tensing as pleasure rocked through your body once more. Emotions flowed from you, Bradley’s name filling the space around the two of you. You carded your fingers through Bradley’s hair, letting him know you had him. Bradley’s hips were stuttering, whines falling from the both of you as he came inside of you. 

Hot breath beated against your neck as you two laid there. Bradley was still inside of you, laying on top of you as he regained his breath. You kept carding your fingers through his hair, almost a mindless action now. A shudder ran through you once Bradley shifted, propping himself up on his arm. His eyes were soft when he looked down at you. 

“Hmm?” You questioned. 

“Just looking at you.” Bradley said, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Happy New Years.” 

“Happy New Years.”

A whimper left you as he pulled out of you. A slick feeling replaced the new empty one, his cum dripping out of you. Bradley quickly hopped off the bed, heading to your bathroom to find a washcloth. 

“I’m sorry, I should have pulled out.” Bradley apologized, handing the warm wet washcloth to you. You shrugged, taking it to clean yourself. 

“As long as you buy the plan B.” Bradley smiled, nodding as he sat on the bed near you. He chewed at his bottom lip, nervous about the impending conversation. He had already put everything out on the floor. It was hard to take back ‘i love you’ while your entire dick was in someone. But it wasn’t like you hadn’t shared the same sentiment. You picked up on his nervousness though, reaching a hand out to touch his thigh. 

You tossed the washcloth across the room, silently cheering when it made it into the basket. Bradley took notice, elbowing you softly. “Nice shot.” 

“Thanks.” You stared at him for a little bit, taking in all of his features before speaking. “So, this?” You gestured between the two of you then scooted up the bed. Bradley laid back on the bed, you propping yourself up on your elbow next to him. Even though he was nervous, all he could think about was that you looked like an angel. 

“I love you,” Bradley started, “but more than a friend.” 

“Obviously, you goof.” You tried to keep a straight face, only to smile at him. “I love you, too. The trip really helped me see it.” Bradley nodded. 

“I knew before the trip. Well, for me, I did. Why else would you think I’d buy you so much coffee?” You lightly smacked his chest, his hand catching your hand. 

“I don’t know, maybe ‘cause you’re a good person.” You sat up, “I gotta pee.” 

“I am a nice person!” Bradley shouted as you took off for the bathroom. He got up, finding his boxers and slipping them on. 

He had been to your apartment many times, but only in your bedroom a few times. It was very you he noticed, now having the time to take it all in. There was a cork board on one wall. It was littered with pictures, ones from college and a few from the past few years. There was one specific one that stood out to him though. It was of the two of you, on that neither of you had taken. He had an arm wrapped around your shoulders as the two of you looked at one another. Must have been from an office party. It made him wonder if the two of you always looked like a couple to everyone. 

“What?” Bradley looked at you, taking in your new clothed form. It was only a baggy t-shirt and underwear, but god did he find it beautiful. 

“Just looking at these pictures. Wondering if we always looked this good together?” You bumped your shoulder into his arm playfully, looking at the same picture. 

“What are you implying?” You knew the answer, surely you did. Bradley turned to you, cupping your face with one of his hands. 

“I’m implying that I’d like to be in a relationship with you.” A flutter appeared in your chest when he pressed his forehead to yours. 

“I think I’d like that, too.”

[pasc4lfuzz]

me vuelves loco

pairing: javier peña x f!reader a/n: i've tried writing before, but every time i've tried and even posted, i've deleted it after less than a week because i didn't like what i'd written. I don't know if I'll regret this one-shot after a while and end up deleting it, but I hope you like it. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!!! summary: During the DEA New Year's party in colombia javi can't take his eyes off you. rating: MATURE! MDNI warnings: flirting, heavy make out, alcohool, remembering sex (i think this would be the right term lol) word count: 3.5k dividers by @/saradika-graphics

December 31st and you and the DEA still haven't caught Pablo Escobar, and so goes another year of hard work, always getting close to the goal but never quite finishing. As always, on New Year's Eve, the DEA throws a party for its employees. Last year you didn't feel like going, you preferred to stay at home, you, a bottle of wine, a plate of pasta alfredo and the TV on. 

You were immersed in your own thoughts for a long time as you sipped your wine, reminiscing about everything you did last year, especially your mistakes, how many times you and your partners were close to catching the head of the cartel and something went wrong, taking you back to the beginning. But that didn't even come close to occupying your mind during the night, definitely not, in your head there was only Javier Peña, that man with the broad shoulders and slutty waist, the way his thight jeans hugged his legs and ass, the cheesy grin he did when he hears the sound of your heels through the office. But surely one of your biggest mistakes - or the one you try to convince yourself was a mistake - was having sex with Javier. You didn't want to be another notch on his belt, but (un)fortunately you ended up giving in, but how could you not? 

That night you were going over some files with Javi in his apartment, glasses of whiskey on the coffee table, some papers lying on the sofa and on the floor, Javis eyes every few minutes on you, admiring you, flirting with you until you couldn't stand it. Suddenly you remember Javier's lips where in yours kissing you hungrily, his tongue searching for yours while their hands stroked from your waist to your ass and their hands tugged at your hair. You remember everything down to the smallest detail, the way he kissed your whole body, the feeling of his tongue flicking your clit, he tasting your pussy like a starving man. The weight of his body on top of yours and how your inner walls hugged his cock in every thrust, his groans and whispers praising you were echoing in your mind, and you realize, you've got it bad for Javier Fucking Peña.

So this year you've decided to go to the party, maybe you'll meet someone important there, get more contacts to help with Escobar's case. Work, work, work, that's all there was to your life lately, stressing you to the limit many times, you saw things and situations you'd never forget, but in the end you told yourself the same thing, in the end I'll have helped a lot of people, and that's all you wanted. As well as thinking that going to the party will help you at work, a week earlier Connie Murphy was at your apartment, your partner Steve's wife met you by chance in the building that the DEA had made available to the agents when you were coming home from work with Steve and Javi, and since then you've become friends. 1 week ago, the night Connie came to your apartment to have dinner and talk, she mentioned the party and said she was going with Steve and asked you if you were going.

"I don't know Con, I was thinking of going but... it's not really my scene" You say sighing and throwing your head back on the sofa, wiping your hands across your face "Maybe there I'll be able to talk more to some people from the Embassy and-" You're interrupted by Connie waving her hands and starting to talk.

"No, no, no, that's enough work talk and work thinking" Connie puts her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her "You work too much, you put all your time and effort into the DEA, I understand that it's supposed to end all this madness once and for all, but I think it's best if you give it a rest, you know." 

Her gaze gradually calms you down, your shoulders relax and your posture is no longer rigid from all the stress you've been going through lately.

"Think of this party as an escape from your problems, there won't be any narcs there for you to worry about, and I'll be there too," Connie says winking in your direction, eliciting a huffy laugh that shakes your head.

"Yeah, I'll go, at least I don't have to drink my own wine" You shrug letting out a sly smile.

The atmosphere in the main hall where most people were meeting is buzzing with energy and excitement. The vast space is adorned with shimmering decorations, exuding a bit sense of luxury, besides this was a DEA party, some colombian politicians were there making presence. Soft, warm lights bathe the room in a flattering glow, casting a sophisticated aura over the gathering. Lively conversations fill the air, complemented by the soft tones of a electric guitar, bass and a woman singing beautifully playing in the background. You're wearing a pearly white satin dress that goes all the way down to your heels, your make-up is simple but your lips are a deep red.

You pass some of your coworkers doing a fast small talk in pursuit of your goal of getting to the bar counter. There are at least 3 people in charge of making the drinks and preparing the drinks that are ordered, you give a friendly smile to the man who approaches you on the other side of the counter asking if you would like anything. You quickly look at the drinks menu and order a Cosmopolitan. 

This isn't one of the best scenarios you could imagine yourself in, you barely enjoy going out for a happy hour after long hours at work, let alone a New Year's Eve party with almost everyone you've worked with. You blame Connie, who, by the way, you haven't seen until now, while your eyes slowly wander around the room watching the others chatting and smiling. One of your favorite pastimes is:

observing.

Many times have you found yourself late at night when you couldn't sleep at your window, feeling the soft caress of a refreshing breeze that carries a subtle hint of the surrounding nature. The gentle touch of the air eases the sticky, humid air that normally hangs heavily in the Colombian nights, providing a respite from the tropical heat that characterizes this part of the world. Colombia wasn't a city that never sleeps like New York or a night city like Los Angeles, but there was a bit of movement at night, and you love watching people pass by and guessing where they're going, who they're meeting or how their day went. And now it's no different.

You're immersed in your thoughts, your attention going from person to person analyzing their features and posture, some with fake smiles just to please the rest around them, others very excited about the turn of the year with a fresh start, and a good number of the people you work with exhausted, just wanting this drug war to end.

Your trance is interrupted when you hear a familiar voice in your ear.

You knew that voice very well.

A voice that sends your heart racing and your spine tingling with anticipation.

It's Javier, his voice velvety, sultry, and more than enough to send shivers down your spine, awakening a deep sense of longing that you find both thrilling.

“Hermosa, I didn't expect to see you here” 

You turn your head to the right and see Javier Penan, leaning slightly with his right arm on the counter, with that smirk in his face that drives you crazy- NO!

You hate it.

“Peña.” You give him a slight nod and pick up your Cosmopolitan, which should have been sitting there for at least two minutes while you paid attention to your surroundings. 

You feel Javier's gaze travel slowly from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, as if he were taking in every aspect of you. His eyes travel with an almost tangible intensity, like a physical caress on your features. You can practically feel the way his gaze follows the outline of your hair, pauses to appreciate the shape of your face and then moves down, lingering on the curves and lines of your body. The way he looks at you is almost hypnotic, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of you.

“You look stunning,” he says, and you feel your heart skip a beat as his eyes meet yours once again. Those warm, brown puppy dog eyes that you had thought could see right through your soul.

You feel exposed, laid bare under his gaze, like a book open for inspection. There's a spark of mischief in his eyes, as though he's enjoying the effect he's having on you, and he leans in a bit closer, a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“You don't look so bad yourself,” I reply, quickly looking him up and down. The suit he's wearing hugs his body perfectly, emphasizing the broadness of his shoulders, and making it hard not to appreciate the way it shows off his physique. I can see the strength in his frame, the way his shoulders bunch up as he rolls them back, and the way the fabric stretches over the muscles of his arms. My eyes dart back up to his face, where his mouth curves into a small, wry smile, the look in his eyes almost smug.

“Like what you see?” Javier winks at you and you take a big sip of your drink, breaking eye contact.

“you wish” I roll my eyes placing the drink down ”have you seen Connie?”

“Hm yeah she’s actually with Steve talking with Noonan” He points to his partner and his wife talking with the ambassador.

“Excuse me Peña.” You say walking away from him, you can feel his eyes glued in your ass, watching the way your hips sway as you walk through the room.

As the night wore on,you were engaged in a conversation with Connie and started to question your decision to listen to her.

"Connie, I think I'm leaving now," you said, finishing the last sip of your drink as your eyes scanned the room.

She gasped, clearly not believing what you were saying. "No, no, no! We discussed this already. If you leave, you'll be all alone on New Year's," she exclaimed.

You nodded, replying, "That's exactly what I had planned, just like last year."

“No, come on stay for me, soon Steve is gonna start getting sleepy and i would get bored” Connie waits for your response.

You close your eyes taking a deep breath before answering a simple “Fine” and Connie smiles at you.

“I’ll get you another Cosmopolitan” Connie leaves towards the bar to get you the drink she promised.

As you patiently wait for your friend and your drink, you couldn't help but take another look around the room. This time, you noticed something you hadn't before - a nearly closed door. Intrigued, you couldn't resist exploring further, walking towards the door and gently pushing it open.

Behind the door, you found yourself in a cozy little library, filled with books and the faint scent of old paper. As you walked along the shelves, your eyes scanned over various titles until something caught your attention - your favorite book.

There it was, standing out among the others, and your heart skipped a beat out of excitement. You eagerly pulled it out from the shelf and held it in your hands, feeling a sense of comfort and nostalgia wash over you.

“That’s a good one.” A voice behind you echoes through your mind, of course it's Javier.

You turn around looking at him trying to hide your emotions from the guy that little by little was stealing your heart, and that scared you. You shouldn't feel that way about him, you know very well that Javier Peña doesn't do relationships.

“Didn’t know you read.” You say sarcastically putting the book back in its place.

“Oh please, I know I'm not the most intelligent man but sometimes I read.” He says while slowly walking towards you, it’s like your body is calling him.

"Anyways, it's a classic, of course it's good," you say with a hint of excitement. Without realizing it, you start to passionately ramble about the book, your words flowing effortlessly as you speak.

"I mean, just the way the author captures the essence of the characters' development throughout the story, the way the plot unfolds, the way the conflict is resolved - it's all so brilliantly done. And don't even get me started on the writing style!" As you finally finish your passionate ramble about the book, you suddenly notice Javier's gaze fixed on you, almost as if it was burning through your skin.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, taking a few steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I…” You can’t trust your own words at this point, afraid you’ll say something that will fell wrong.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier spoke in a low, sultry tone, his words sending a warm sensation coursing through your body.

"I don't think you realize this," he continued, his voice dropping even lower, "but you literally become ten times sexier when you talk about books."

“Stop right there Peña” You put your index finger in his chest “I know where you tryna get from this, and im not ending up in your bed” 

“Hermosa” Your heart skipped a beat as Javier pulled you closer, your bodies now touching, his whiskey breath hot against your face. "Believe me," he murmured, his voice dropping to an even huskier tone, "I'm not just trying to get you in my bed. You might not believe this, but I really like you."

A wave of heat washed over you as you looked up into his eyes, wondering if there was more to  his words than just a line. And he was right, you didn’t believe him at all.

“Doesn’t seem like it” You murmur

Javier's gaze deepened as he looked into your eyes, his voice still carrying that sultry undertone. "I like the way you prefer tea over coffee," he began, the words coming out slowly and intentionally, "and how you always drink your jasmine tea in our office. The smell of it wafts through the room, constantly reminding me of you. And your laughter, it sounds like a 5-year-old's - innocent and carefree. But it brings a smile to my face every single time I hear it."

As you giggled and shyly looked away listening to him list the things he liked in you, Javier's smirk widened, his fingers gently catching your chin and turning your face back to him.

"Yes, that's the laugh," he repeated, a hint of amusement in his voice, "the one I was talking about. It's infectious, you know."

Your eyes get lost in his, it’s almost like you can see and learn everything about him just by looking at his brown chocolate eyes. Javier's lips left a trail of gentle pecks on your cheeks, while his words echoed in your ears, sending a surge of heat through your body.

"I like it when you let your hair down," he murmured, "but I also like it when you tie it. I like it when you speak in Spanish," another kiss on your other cheek, "and most of all, I love the way you talk about the things you love."

As his lips hovered millimeters away from yours, leaving you yearning for more, you couldn't resist any longer.

The moment your lips met, an explosion of sensation took over. It was a hungry and passionate kiss, filled with months of built up tension and desire. Your grip on Javier's neck tightened as you pulled him closer, your bodies pressing against each other. His hands found their way to your hips, holding you tight as the kiss deepened. Tongues danced in a greedy, desperate dance, exploring each other's mouths as if trying to devour one another.

It was like an explosion of feelings all together, you felt like your heart could jump out of your chest at any minute. 

Sure you’ve already shared a few kisses with him, but it was always with a second intention, just like that one night you never forget. But this is different, the kiss was slow and deliberate, every movement filled with emotion and desire. Your lips moved in tandem with each other, exploring every inch of the other's mouth. A soft moan escaped your lips as Javier's tongue traced along your lower lip, seeking entrance. You granted it willingly, allowing him to plunge deeper into the recesses of your mouth. The kiss was hungry, but it was also tender, a perfect blend of love and excitement.

You feel your back against one of the bookcases as Javier kisses you more and more. Your hands pull his hair and massage his broad shoulders.

As you pulled your head back, gasping for air, Javier instinctively tried to chase your lips, unwilling to break the connection. He opened his eyes and couldn't help but let out a low growl at the sight of you biting your bottom lip, your eyes still closed in the aftermath of the passionate kiss.

As you opened your eyes and caught sight of his smile, something in your heart flipped, and you knew you were in too deep. "I believe you," you whispered, holding his face gently in your hands, your thumbs gently caressing his jaw.

"But if you really want this," you continued, your voice firm yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability, "you have to try not to mess things up. I'm willing to give you a chance, but I need you to promise me you'll be careful with my heart."

Javier's smile widened even further as you spoke, his heart swelling with a mixture of relief and affection. He leaned into your touch, savoring the feel of your thumbs caressing his jaw, and he nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry, hermosa," he murmured, his voice softer and more genuine than you had ever heard it before. "I won't mess this up, I promise. I'm all in."

Without missing a beat, your lips crashed into each other once more, the passion and intensity of the moment taking over. The world around you faded away as you both become lost in the kiss, the hunger for each other growing stronger with each passing second.

As the kiss deepened, you found yourself pressed up against the shelf, Javier's body pinning you against it as his hands roamed over your body, touching every inch of exposed skin. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, hungry kisses along the sensitive flesh. Your bodies instinctively moved closer, creating a delicious friction that sent waves of desire coursing through you. The kiss grew more intense, full of passion and need, as your hands became tangled in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

As your fingers tangled in his hair and he continued to kiss and bite at your neck, an unexpected moan escaped your lips. You tried to bite your lip to hold it back, but the sensation of his lips against your skin was too overwhelming to contain. This only fueled Javier's desire, and he let out a low growl in response, one hand on your hips and the other one on you inner thigh pulling your right leg up to his waist.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier's breath tickled your ear, his hot whispered words sending a thrill of pleasure through your body. "I forgot one thing," he murmured, his teeth gently biting down on your sensitive earlobe. "I love when you moan for me."

His body was still pressed against you, pinning you to the wall, and you could feel the effect your moan had on him, the tension and desire in the air palpable.

Just as Javier's lips were about to descend onto yours once more, the sound of an unwelcome voice called your name, breaking the spell. You both froze as the door handle turned, the wood moving just a fraction before it swung open.

Connie stood in the doorway, her eyes widening in surprise as she took in the scene before her.

"What are you doing - oh my god," she gasped, quickly shutting the door again.

Javier takes a few steps back running his hand through his hair as you smoothed your dress. “Connie?” you ask behind the door and open it seeing her holding your drink. “I… I took a little longer to grab your drink and then i was gonna hand it to you but you weren’t there anymore so i looked for you and-” She spoke nervously trying to process the moment she had just seen. “Ok hm thanks for it by the way” you grab the drink from her hands taking a sip before looking quickly at Javier.

“It’s almost midnight by the way” Connie says leaving the library.

You felt a pair of warm, strong hands gently gripping your waist from behind. Javier's hot breath sent a shiver down your spine as he leaned in close, his lips ghosting over the sensitive flesh of your neck.

"Come on, I want another reason to kiss you," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

[linxuelian]

Comic Fiesta 2023 Anime Convention Experience Log - With Photos!

Hey there! After posting my previous experience log on Anime Fest+ 2024, I realized I'd shared photos from Comic Fiesta 2023 on Twitter but never did on Tumblr. Since this happened way back in late December 2023, I've forgotten a good portion of my experience there (I have unfortunately the memory of a goldfish) - so it'll mostly be photos of the crowd and MXTX cosplayers, whom I have some loose commentary on based on what I remember from our very short and random interactions.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as an MDZS/TGCF fan as much as I do! I spent only a few hours there, but I did have a good time hunting down cosplays from the MXTX fandom during that time.

I'll begin with pictures of the crowd. If you don't already know, Comic Fiesta is an anime convention held in Kuala Lumpur Convention Center, Malaysia, and it's one of the oldest here too. As of 2023, it's opened its doors to roughly 70,000 attendees, which is rather big considering our country's quite small in size. I've heard from my friend that there are attendees from overseas too, namely Singapore and Indonesia, due to the famous people the organizers tend to invite, so it does make sense that it's grown this large over time.

While the convention itself is held indoors, there's a large park outside where cosplayers tend to hang around and take pictures. A number of people don't buy tickets and go into the convention hall either - and I get why; the last time I was in the hall, I was squashed like a sardine, and not the fancy kind, either. We're a sweaty bunch after a good whole morning of lining up.

Anyway, the park is very pretty, as well as mostly green and neatly trimmed:

It's at this park where you can get the best shots of cosplayers, and find some space to line up for photos of them.

It's got this giant Christmas tree up at around this time of year too, which is super wonderful:

With that aside, I'll get to the cosplays. Let's start off with my favorite best girl of all time, Jiang Yanli:

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/clairegsw/

I'll admit I was both surprised and stoked to see a Jiang Yanli cosplayer around! She seemed pretty surprised too to have someone ask her for a picture - she was taking one with two elaborate bride cosplays, but as I'm a fangirl with heaps of love for Yanli, I thought she shone like the brightest star at that event. You go, Claire!

Next up is our boy Xie Lian, who seems to get quite a number of cosplays done of him:

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/ayana_liyana/ and https://www.instagram.com/itsmeira_az/

These two came together and were looking for wild, lone San Lang cosplayers to catch in Pokemon battle-like sequences respectively. Sadly, as it goes in the BL cosplay world, there's always a shortage of gong/top/seme cosplayers in a con. Everyone wants to be the beauty, it seems, and quite understandably too.

That said, here's another beauteous Xie Lian cosplay:

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/jingzu518/

Cute, nice, and also decidedly not looking for wild semes to capture.

Anyway, no Xie Lian is complete without a Hua Cheng by his side in any event, so here's the obligatory couple cosplay I saw by the escalators when I got up to the entrance:

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/njq_03/

This particular Hua Cheng cosplayer's one of the first dudes I've seen doing TGCF cosplay, which is pretty interesting considering the reception of BL by male anime fans in my country hasn't been... the best - or the kindest, from personal experience. But I'm happy to see it and would like to take this as a positive sign of changing times where our BL fandom gets more mixed in demographics.

Speaking of HuaHuas, here's a particularly fun and cheerful one:

Credit: https://twitter.com/meechandes

When I told this HuaHua that there were Xie Lians looking to form a couple, I was told that they already have a Xie Lian of their own! Again, HuaHuas are in great shortage! You'll definitely get a lot of attention dressed as him as he's both very flashy and coveted in the danmei cosplay scene as a character.

Moving along, here's a pic of my favorite best boy Jin Ling, the snazziest and most golden young master in the universe:

Credit: https://twitter.com/koni_kn

This particular cosplayer was kind enough to humor me at a crowded, fast-paced subway. We managed to find a quieter spot to take a picture. Look at how pretty it looks, bless! 😍 I'm so glad Jin Ling got some representation as a side character. He's absolutely the best!

On cue are his uncles, the twin heroes of Yunmeng, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (whom Jin Ling will probably deny is his uncle, but hey, Mo Xuanyu's body will uncle him however he wants):

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/feza_yu/

The duo came with their own professional photographer, who also doubled as their translator (thank you, photographer man!). This Jiang Cheng's also the softest, gentlest and shyest Jiang Cheng I've ever met in my life. Legs are safe when he's around since he won't be breaking them anytime soon!

Next on the itinerary are our not-so-elusive, staple-of-any-con Wei Wuxians:

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/ken520.cos/

I dub this guy the Balenciaga Wei Wuxian, because, you know, I took his photo right in front of Balenciaga and he looked like the richest Wei Wuxian cosplayer there. No joke - his outfit even had pleather, and he'd spent about 270 bucks on it. I saw it up-close since he was pretty friendly. His arm bracers even had details sewn onto them instead of just being prints! Talk about luxury! I coughed up jealousy like blood from my mouth.

The outfit is from CQL, but he knows MDZS too. I'm familiar with the donghua but too lazy to finish it, so he's definitely put me to shame here as a fan as well, blast him!

Last but not least, we have kitty ears Wei Wuxian (a.k.a. Lan Wangji's Incense Burner Dream #965):

Credit: https://www.instagram.com/mikaecsr/

Now, I won't lie - I first thought they were wolf ears. But as Wei Wuxian does not like dogs of any kind, nature or breed, I'm going to assume that these are feline ears.

Whatever ears they are, though, Lan Wangji will be sure to get hot and toasty seeing them. Wei Ying, you devil you.

Anyway, this marks the end of my write-up! I hope you enjoyed the descriptions. As I don't have Instagram, feel free to hit up any of these cosplayers I've credited and link them here so that they can download pics of themselves and read what some random Internet weirdo had to say about their outfits.

Over and out!

[vtforpedro]

life update - long

It took me a hot minute to find the last update. December, I guess? I'm so tired I never stop being tired and time is not real anymore. Anyway. Disability Stuff: I won my case in federal court in February. They said it'd take a year so I was a little hm. Found out the SSA voluntarily asked the judge for the remand because the written decision was indefensible and they were gonna take another look. Pros: Hey, I won! I get a second hearing! Cons: I didn't get a brief written by the federal law firm because there was no time. This is actually a tactic used by the SSA. I have no doubt they're fine tuning another denial. I also have to wait for the lower level court to figure out what was so bad about it (that they'd already ruled was perfect) to give to the judge I will have another hearing with. The same judge. Who said I was a liar multiple times and omitted eight months of medical evidence and said mental health issues are subjective hahaha. I hate this country. Health: Boy howdy it's been better and worse. I had the tilt table test in late December, went... ok enough, but my neuro didn't like how ambiguous the report was and sent me back to them to speak to an autonomic disorder specialist. Scheduled in Jan, just had my appt with her this month lol she is busy. She ordered: genetics test, labs, and skin biopsy. I've done the first two, third is scheduled in July and I'm gonna be a mess because needles u_u Brain stuff is much of the same. Episodic. Manageable times are a godsend, bad times are really bad. My heart started to do some funky ass shit a few months ago. My mom kept writing it off as anxiety no matter how much I explained that it felt like my heart was pounding after exercise. My BP and pulse shot up high for a while and b/c my pulse never came back down and it was interfering with, you know, living, my PCP sent me to cardiology. :') Cause I wanted my heart involved in this mess One 24hr holter monitor, echo, and heart ultrasound later, and I have a new heart condition. He said 'your heart is beating so fast you would normally see it with exercise' bada boom baby and has nothing to do with fucking ANXIETY >:[ I'm on heart medication. 10 meds. I need to start another med for my psych but that's 11 and I'm honestly getting upset because it's so fucking much medication in one day but every single one of them is necessary so what can really I do? Personal: Relationship with my mom is at an all time low. This is extremely unfortunate because a few weeks ago, my mom told me she is basically being 'laid off' (she's not losing her job for a while, just retiring earlier than expected) and I have to leave my home of 10 years by mid-August. Got no sympathy from her about it *finger guns* I've gone through the devastation of that and am kind of just stuck in how is any of that gonna work. My brother and I can't live together, so he's gonna move into a family friend's rental. Except he has no job and hasn't been able to get one in months. He started one on Monday, is gonna leave by Friday because it's horrific ig. Anyway my mom promises he won't be there. We have to move based on my disabilities and my mom's house is gonna have to reflect what we have here. I'll see it when I believe it. I don't trust her anymore. Extra unfortunate that I'm gonna be living 24/7 with my mother who has been an abusive person in my life the past two years. The short break thru the day that my apartment is just mine, quiet and gentle, is gonna be gone. I'll be introducing my solitary 11 year old cat Lilly into a house with 3 other cats. She only knew Isis her entire life. She was just diagnosed with neuro issues this year after going through an MRI. We don't know if she has seizure activity or if it's movement disorder, but the med she's on treats both and she has gotten better. Same process Isis went through. Cannot believe I have two cats with neuro issues and likely the same one. May 18th was one year since Isis passed. Rough, tiring day.

I don't know how it has been that long. Feels like it just happened. I can still see her and feel her through my apartment and losing it in August will probably shatter me most because of losing the last place she existed in. I miss her more than I can say.

She was my little soulmate and her absence is felt in every corner here. Writing/Fandom:

I went through a whole fucking situation over in the Stranger Things fandom that has left me not wanting to post anymore. Idk if neuro shit has destroyed my ability to write but it's humiliating and painful every time I post a fic.

I posted stucky (1 out of 2 fics this year) on my main acct and lost 8 fuckin user subs? Like goddamn. What'd stucky do 😭 anyway it was even more devastating and kinda like 'here's your big ass sign to keep your writing to yourself.'

Between the god awful shit that happened in the ST fandom and my inability to put together even a good one shot, I'm feeling really down about one of two creative things I can do in my life. I used to love sharing my stuff. I want to write and share but it feels like it's harming my MH. I can't draw or paint right now, either. And I can barely move around my apartment without pain. I can't even leave it except for doctor appointments.

Idk. Very walls are closing in type of feeling and I hate it. In short: I'm tired, struggling, and too many things are happening at once. I love you all 😩💜 thank you for your patience and love and kind words. Your support is felt through one update to the next. I hope you're all well and I'm sending all my love and hugs to you.

[thespectralvision]

I met Paul Bettany (again) yesterday at Dallas Fan Festival and I'm not sure I'll ever recover.

To preface this, I've been doing cons and seeing live productions for a long time, so I have met a fair number of celebrities and I've never had a bad experience. Getting to meet Lizzie Olsen a few months back was thrilling enough, and I feel so blessed that both she and Paul ended up attending conventions in Texas within a span of months. That said, Paul Bettany blew every other celebrity meeting I've had so far out of the water I don't even know how to compare them. Part of that is my own personal connection to his work - he's been my favorite actor for a very *very* long time - and getting to share how he's been a part of my journey from afar was very emotional and so *so* worth it. Long story below the cut:

When I met him breifly in NYC it was very exciting, but he was running almost 30 minutes late to his own play and didn't have time to chat, so we just snapped the selfie and that was that. The play was an amazing experience, and I discussed it in this post back in December when it happened.

Yesterday I had several one-on-one minutes with him over the course of the day. After a little stress getting in the line (where a kind lady on staff went out of her way to help me and a large group of friends in line with me. One of them had purchased an autograph because she's collecting MCU signatures in a book, but she told me she also wanted to set me up so he knew I was a super-fan.

He started by looking at the print and then deciding he was going to sign it in pink. He was *very* adamant about that, and I laughed and said it was his call. The grin as he started to write and confirmed that yes, pink was the right colour was a wonderful laugh at the beginning.

I told him that I specifially painted this for him to sign, and he was so kind as he looked at it and told him it was my art. I shared a little of my journey and thanked him, because I found Vision as a character due to being a fan of his acting for nearly 2 decades, starting with when I saw A Knights Tale shortly after it came out back in 2001. Before I could drive my dad would take me to go see every movie he did in theaters, and as an adult I've kept up. Paul's work has been a constant in my life, and a source of comfort long before his involvement in the MCU let alone my love of Vision as a character (completely seperate from the man who plays him)

I explained how I had been fighting severe depression for most of the 10 years prior to WandaVision's release, and I had given up on art. Watching WandaVision, and then reading comics about Vision made me want to paint him. The first several times I've never shared (maybe I'll do a big dump of unfinished/unreleased art one of these days) but I just kept trying. In the time since I've created close to 200 piece of art, and I take so much joy in it again. When I have a bad week I paint to relax, I paint when I'm struggling to express things, for a distraction or to share my joy. I didn't go into so much detail with Paul but he listened to every word. I then mentioned that I had met him very breifly in NYC last winter because I had travelled to see him for The Collaboration, and a front-row seat had been my Christmas Gift. He was *so happy* guys. He looked like he had just been given the best compliment ever when I told him how much of a treat it was to get to see him acting live. He made this little happy sound and it was so lovely. I think as artists, knowing our work has inspired others in the way we are inspired is a very high compliment and it felt that way.

He was so kind and at the end of our time together before I walked away he looked at me and told me I had a gift, and thanked me for sharing it with him. I think hearing my story and his small but oh-so-important role in it made him a little emotional too, he looked like he might cry for a breif moment. I said I would be seeing him later for a photo and he smiled so brighly and waved me off, and he didn't turn to the next group until I turned away from his table. All my friends were waiting for me and had been watching and they started freaking out about the conversation. Another friend who was in a different line but had excellent eyesight of Paul was like 'I think he loved your art wow his reaction'. They watched him with other guests for quite awhile and commented that he was all smiles and like that with everyone. Every other person I spoke with at the convention who met him had nothing but glowing things to say. A few friends told me after they now understand why I'm so fond of him hah.

I had a period of time between the autograph and the scheduled photo ops, so I walked the rest of the event and picked up some goodies I'll share in another post - it was like Paul Bettany/Vision Christmas I've never seen so much Vision art and merch selling and on display let alone being bought. When it was finally my time for the photo he finished with the group ahead of me and his face lit up with a bright smile as I moved into the space. I wasn't sure how close was ok - I have a rule of thumb when doing con photos to let the guest decide how much contact/space is ok because everyone is different. Paul put his arm around me and kept nudging me until I finally moved in closer, then he gave me a proper hug with a little squeeze. If you've ever imagined huging Vision (or Paul) it's exactly what you expect. Before he let me go he thanked me again (?!) and waved me off, and said he'd see me at his panel in a little bit.

His panel was also fantastic and fun, and he charmed the entire room. Some friends went with me who aren't as familiar with him or his work outside of Marvel, and they all agreed they would pay to meet him again/see a panel if he had one. I'm sure someone else will beat me to uploading the video (I did record most of it but my phone was almost dead) so I won't go into too much detail but it was such a fun hour.

I couldn't have asked for a better day. If anyone on this Earth made me feel the way Vision makes me feel when I'm reading comics or watching MCU projects, it was Paul. He described Vision in an interview once as 'warmth personified' and I think that's just a lot of *him*. His energy was infectuous and he was so gracious and kind and humbled by the display of fans. It was also just nice to see so many people celebrating his art and the characters he plays. It's rare to see *so much* love for Vision, let alone others that are less known.

If you are a fan and have an opportunity to see Paul Bettany live please do. He really is a gem and in this case I'm so glad I got to meet my hero in more ways than one.

[zuzsenpai]

This is another personal post with TW mental illness. I'm sorry there have been so many recently. I really have nowhere else to put these things. Feel free to ignore.

I don't think my depression has ever been this bad before, in the almost 13 years I've had it. For maybe the past two months it's been steadily growing to a point of intensity that I can't ignore. The absolutely awful feelings won't go away. I can't stop thinking about how miserable I feel.

I can barely take care of myself. I eat takeout every day. There's garbage everywhere at my house. I can't get shit done at work and at some point people are going to notice. I have multiple really REALLY urgent doctor's appointments/calls I HAVE to make (one of which is to my psychiatrist who apparently I'm blocked from messaging on the healthcare app), yet I can't seem to pick up the phone. I am mentally incapable somehow. There's a wall there.

I have been told to exercise and meditate and I physically and mentally cannot. Again, there is a wall.

I have a video game I wanted to play, I try to play it, and I feel completely unattached to it (even though I have loved it in the past). I joined a really exclusive roleplay community for that game and proceeded to be too overwhelmed to make the character application and now the mods are asking me what I want to do. I haven't written fanfiction in two months because of severe burnout, and I miss it so desperately that it's making me realize I might have been using it as a bandaid/distraction. But my brain is so fried that I feel too overwhelmed to write again. People are leaving me nice comments on my fics and I can't even bring myself to read them let alone respond to them. My memory is so bad that I can't remember a lot of what happens in any of my fave series' and I feel like creating good fan content for those things is impossible at this point.

I'm ignoring online friends in my favorite server. I promised multiple IRL friends I would watch animes they like and I am feeling guilty that I mentally cannot do that. I'm dreading the two anime cons I have coming up in March because I don't think I'm going to feel comfortable in my cosplay this year. I have a close friend (who is also my coworker) who keeps trying to get me to do things with her and her husband and I keep turning them down because I'm worried I'll get overwhelmed by social anxiety and general awkwardness. Just the thought of having awkward social interactions is terrifying me and pushing me down harder than it ever has.

I had a boyfriend between October 2022 and December 2023, but I felt like it was a huge chore every time I had to see him and I developed zero feelings for him. I felt repulsed by the thought of us being romantic. We ghosted each other in December and now I feel like shit about it because he may have been the only chance I'll ever have at a relationship... but I also am in such a bad state that it's probably good things are over. Why don't I feel relieved?

I'm having physical tics in my abdomen and jaw that are getting worse and worse to the point of pain and people noticing. I can't talk to literally anyone without sounding upset, negative, angry. I had my best friends from out of state over a few weekends ago and I was so sick the whole time, I felt like I was letting them down. I've been repeating awkward interactions with friends and coworkers over and over in my head to the point where I think about it at night.

I haven't put my Christmas decorations away because I fucking CAN'T.

This week has been particularly bad. Yesterday I was working from home because of snow. When the snow stopped I rushed to my parents' house because I needed to be somewhere with people I know. But I was so negative in how I spoke with them, and it's making me feel even worse. I used to be really talkative and intelligent when having conversations with my family, but depression has taken that away from me pretty badly over the years, to the point where I can barely talk without thinking about how absolutely dreadful I am at conversation.

But today might be the worst of it (unrelated to Valentine's Day, though it certainly isn't helping). It pained me emotionally and physically to get out of bed, and I wanted to take a mental health day. Literally fell back asleep for an hour before I had to get up and DREAMT about taking a mental health day. But being alone at home is actually so much worse than being at work where there are at least people I am comfortable with. So I went in. I have been absolutely bombarded with depressed feelings all day though. I get up to walk down the hall to the bathroom and somehow that feels worse than sitting and staring at my computer without accomplishing anything. I'm sitting here crying at work, completely destroying the four months of tally marks I had for 'days without crying at work'. I didn't break my record, sadly.

I have a therapist. I have an appointment with her today actually. Maybe I'll just read all of this to her. I don't know where it's going to lead or what she's going to tell me to do, but all I want is to walk down the hall to the bathroom and have at least average, neutral emotions instead of carrying a chest full of raging depression. I want to be able to say something happy to someone so that they don't dump me as a friend for being toxically negative. I want to live, and I have things to live for. But damn if this depression isn't making it extremely difficult to enjoy those things.

[remimibanana]

Supernova 2023 Day 1 Report!

I had the opportunity to go to Supernova 2023 at Adelaide where I cosplayed on Day 1! It was a big convention filled with so many people and cosplayers from all sorts of media!

I went with my good friend Pie (@piedivide) who you will see throughout the report! Thank you for the fun weekend!

I had to split up the report because I hit the image limit, here is Day 2!

The report is below the cut!

My Cosplay

I cosplayed as Sucrose in her OnePlus collaboration outfit! It’s a pretty simple but cute outfit! This was the first time I ever styled a wig, which turned out much better than I thought it would in all honesty lol

Day 1

I had to catch the train since the con is in the city, and the one I was on was fully packed since there was also the Christmas Pageant running (in November strangely…it’s not even December!).

Of course, I was the only one in cosplay on the whole train, so I had to sit in the corner with all these people staring at me.

I was surprised to see no cosplayers on the train, because last time there were a few people who were in cosplay so I felt less embarrassed sitting there in full cosplay.

One train ride later, and I arrived in the city!

I met up with Pie, who was dressed up as Casual Kazuha! I was heading to the usual bench that I sit and wait at, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It was Pie! His cosplay was so cool! I especially loved the wig styling!

We had some Hungry Jacks (or Burger King as it’s called everywhere else but Australia) before going to the con! You know, for the meme. And because we skipped breakfast for it.

I ordered some chicken nuggets and large fries, while Pie ordered a kids meal lol

He got this Rubble spinning toy from Paw Patrol that I couldn’t recognize right away. It was really derpy and poor Rubble’s body wasn’t painted so it was just yellow.

See? Poor thing. Pie threw it in the bin rather heartlessly.

I took too long to eat the nuggets so my fries got cold ;;

Once we ate, we headed to the convention! It was at the showgrounds, so we caught the train there. It was my first time going to the showgrounds by train, so it was a cool experience!

Never been on that line before.

We didn’t know where we were going, so we followed the sea of people and hoped we were going in the right direction lol

There’s me in front of it all! This was the first time I was at the showgrounds since like…2016? Crazy.

Entering the convention was pretty simple once we found our way! We ordered tickets online so we just had to get the QR Code for them scanned. We received a wristband that apparently we couldn’t take off since it was meant to last for both days.

Not sure how great of an idea that is tbh, but I do get it. At least they told us we could always come back and get a new one if something happens to it.

This time I didn’t break the wristband! Are you proud of me?

Pie put on mine a bit loose, so it kept trying to fall off. It actually did fall off at one point, but at least I could take it off after.

So it was all good!

Inside the convention, as you can see above, was so cool! So big! You could get lost within all the stalls and places. I remember the first moment I walked in, I was in awe.

Pie and I walked around, taking in all the sights and seeing what the convention had to offer. We saw so many cosplayers as we walked, I took the time to admire them all and freak out.

Someone actually asked for photos of us right away, and it was so cool! I didn't think we would get asked for photos that quickly!

Speaking of cosplayers, we got so many photos with them! Last convention, we didn't get many so I'm glad this time we did! Well, it was Pie asking for me and me just being there haha (thank you Pieeeeee).

Let me go through each of the pictures and write a whole bunch of praise because everyone looked amazing!!!

FURINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

We didn't think we would see any Fontainian Cosplays at all, but there they were! We saw Furina during our walk through the Artist Alley, and knew we had to get a photo!

They seemed to be busy though every time we saw them, and we didn’t want to bother them so we sort of just kept walking and waiting until they were sort of free.

It seemed like we would never get an opportunity to.

Until Pie literally went over and asked for a photo once we saw they weren’t too busy lol

They were so kind! And pretty!

LYNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Okay, so Pie and I talked about what Genshin Cosplayers would make us freak out before the con if we saw them walking around. Pie chose Neuvillette (based) and I chose Lyney because I love Lyney.

But I really didn't think we would see a Lyney cosplayer. I kept an eye out, of course.

Until we did.

Pie was the one who pointed them out and of course I freaked out immediately. It was Lyney! In the flesh!

And we beelined to them, waiting until they weren't busy so Pie could ask for a photo lol

They were at a stall looking around at all the products there, and so we decided to look around too so we weren't standing there awkwardly waiting.

To our surprise, the Lyney cosplayer was the one who came up to US and complemented us on our cosplay!

They were so niceeeeeee

Pie took this opportunity to ask for a photo.

We got our photos and I of course freaked the heck out after.

That’s all I wanted in life. Lyney photo. \(//∇//)\

MEW ICHIGO AND MEW BERRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I saw them walking around and I was freaking out because I love Tokyo Mew Mew! It was my first anime before I even knew it was an anime! I watched the Serbian dub growing up, so it has a special place in my heart.

I really didn’t think I’d see both Mew Ichigo and Mew Berry here! Especially Mew Berry, it was my first time seeing a cosplay for her!

They looked so good!

I was staring at them from afar as we walked, until I mentioned how I’d like a photo with them and Pie asked for me (thank you Pieeeee).

They were so nice! They did such cute poses too, just like the ones in the manga!

Mew Ichigo complemented my cosplay and I was over the moon.

MAID XIAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

For context, at AnimeGO, Pie and I kept seeing a Maid Xiao literally everywhere we went. We joked that if we called them, they would come to us lol

We didn’t take any pictures since we didn’t feel as comfortable I suppose asking for photos without being in cosplay.

And to our surprise, we saw Maid Xiao again here at Supernova! They seem to be following us everywhere lol

Pie went to ask to take a photo, since we were in cosplay and it was our chance! We did all together!

The Ameno team! Maybe we’ll see them again next year lol

NAHIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I spotted Nahida from afar and knew I needed a photo!

Nahida is one of my absolute favorites, ever since I played Act II in Sumeru. My love for her only solidified in Act V, she’s an absolute badass!

The Nahida cosplayer was so cute and nice!!

They were with their parent or guardian (at least I assume) and they were very nice as well!

I was looking the wrong way for Pie’s photo of us because I was staring at their parent or guardian’s phone lmao

But I did finally stare into Pie’s phone aha (sorryyyy)

They asked for a photo with all three of us together and we did! I hope they liked the photo!

They talked about how much they loved our outfits and the fact we did a “casual spin” on them, aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Makes me so happy when I think about it hehe

IL DOTTORE AND COLLEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Fun fact, this is the elusive Il Dottore that kept evading me back at AnimeGO! It was awesome to see them again here as well!

Their friend was cosplaying Collei from the manga, which I thought so but I wasn’t completely sure until I saw them properly lol

So we all got a photo!

And that’s all the photos we got (at least on my end, Pie got some more, like with another Kazuha and 9S! I’d show them but image limit arghhhh).

I’m so happy we got loads of them! We mentioned we wanted to take more photos so I’m glad we did that successfully!

Food!

There were food stalls there! Such as a coffee/crepe stand, an Indian food stand, a Boost Juice stand, a hot chips stand, and a pretzel stand Pie and I went to!

Pie looked at me as soon as we walked past the Boost Juice stand and started going on about how much I love Boost Juice and I literally turned to look at him all deadpan and went "no" LMAO.

I don't really like smoothies, why is there pieces in my drink I'm trying to drink?! I'm more of a juice person that has nothing in it lol

We never tried a real Pretzel before (we only get those small baked ones prepacked here in Australia), and took this as our opportunity to have some! We both got the standard salted one, and it was really good!

So soft and warm, I loved it!

Games!

There were many games! All multiplayer and all were pretty fun!

We first played Melty Blood: Type Lumina (apparently, I'm taking Pie's word for this lol). I only recognized Mash from Fate/Stay Night, so that's who I chose!

I managed to beat Pie by spamming the circle button the whole time lmao

Then we played Sonic Origins, where Pie was absolutely amazing at it. And then there was me lol

We played Smash Brothers Ultimate where I managed to beat Pie's butt multiple times somehow. But Pie did win too at times! It was fun playing with all the DLC characters I never had the chance to play with before!

I got to play as Pyra and Mythra, Sora and even Steve!

I love fighting games, they're so much fun. It takes the right inputs to unleash combos and win.

For example, my favourite Street Fighter game is Street Fighter III: Third Strike. It's so good!

Chun Li is my main. Love her.

Anyway, fighting game supremacy.

Just Dance 2023!

I LOVE Just Dance. My favorites are Just Dance 3, 4 and 2014, being the ones I played the most growing up.

I don’t usually brag about it, but I’m pretty good at it. I can get 5 stars in many songs (at least on the Wii versions). I told Pie that one day I would show off my skills.

To my surprise, Supernova were going to have a Just Dance Area!

After telling Pie all about it before the con since he didn’t notice it before I told him, we decided we had to do some songs! It was a must!

I would dance.

I was glad to see it was the Switch version of the game, it’s pretty similar to the Wii (you use a joycon instead of the Wii remote). So, I knew I would be alright…probably.

Pie let me choose all the songs very kindly (even though I did ask if he wanted to choose a song because I felt like I was sort of hogging it all haha).

I was excited, you can't blame me!

The first song we did was ievan polkka, a classic Hatsune Miku song! My name is Miku, so obviously doing a Miku song is a must.

I already knew this dance pretty well, so of course I got a Megastar! Pie did really well too!

These are the new rankings in the later games, the older ones only went to 5 stars so I find them really strange lol

The second song we did was Livin' a Vida Loca by Ricky Martin! I love this song. This is one of the songs that I can get 5 stars every single time I play it.

No joke. One day I need to prove it somehow lol

Of course I got a Superstar, and Pie did too! Very impressive!

Now the last song I did was Rasputin.

We were meant to do it together, but uh…there were some complications lol

This was going to be our last song, since there were people waiting and I didn’t want to be a bother by dancing any more songs (although I really did want to! There were so many more I wanted to do!).

These two people came up to us and asked if they could join us since four people could dance at once. Of course, we agreed!

That’s when the trouble started.

You would think connecting four joycons would be easy.

For some reason, only three of them would connect at one time. We tried to many times to connect and reconnect them, even we went into the controller settings and tried reconnecting there!

Then the switch feed died randomly. The screens were fully black, and we didn’t even do anything! Things weren't going well at all _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Pie surrendered his joycon to one of the people very kindly, so he was off to the side watching us trying to fix the Switch. I remember looking back at him multiple times and shrugging in disbelief.

At the end, the screens were back up but we could only connect two joycons for some reason. At that point, we gave up and decided to just dance the song because clearly it wasn’t going to work any better than it was now.

I was one of the ones who had their joycon connected, so I was able to see I got the highest Megastar hehe

It was a lot of fun dancing! I absolutely had a blast, and I was tired by the end of it.

Next time I want to Just Dance again!

After our fun time with Just Dance, we took to the Artist Alley!

It was filled with so many different artists with so many different styles! It was so cool walking through them all and admiring all of the pretty art!

There was this one particular artist that such stunning prints from so many different media like Star Rail, Genshin, Disney and more! They were the same artist I got my Silver Wolf Print from actually! Absolutely incredible art.

We were tempted to buy them and there, but we told ourselves that Day 2 would be the day to go all out in terms of spending.

And then there was me buying prints from another stall lmao

I bought a Hu Tao, Wanderer and Nene and Aoi in their pretty Kannagi outfits from TBHK! I couldn’t resist as soon as I saw them.

I really like the Wanderer one—

We also bought some books! Pie and I both got the Ask Iwata book! I bought Volume 3 of Spy x Family, while Pie picked up Assassination Classroom Volume 14!

The bookstore chain were having a “buy one, get one half price” promotion. Got to capitalize on it.

Manga is my life.

We walked past two stands with swords, and one of them let us hold a sword! I never held a real sword before until that point, so I was excited to try!

Here's us with a Lion's Roar above, where Pie looked very epic and I just looked stupid lmao

Why was I holding it like that?

It was way heavier than I thought it would be, Pie passed it to me while I was holding my phone and I took it with one hand, where my arm literally dropped down at the sudden weight lol

Swords are epic.

Pie wasn’t able to go home right away after the convention since he had an inspection going on that wouldn’t finish by then.

And he asked me if I could stay back and hang out.

I, of course said yes. I had no objections.

I never told my mum when I was leaving anyway. She told me to send a message when I’m on the train sooooooo....yes.

And so, about halfway through the convention, I asked the faithful question: "so what are we doing after the con?"

That’s when we realised we had no idea what we were doing after the con lol

We thought about it for a while, giving out suggestions between us but it was hard since it was a Saturday and everything was practically closed after 5pm (the con ended at 6pm).

Library? Closed. The gardens in the city? Closed.

That's when I suggested Karaoke! Rather, I asked if the Karaoke place was even open on Saturday.

We found out it was, and there was the thing we could do!

We have always wanted to do Karaoke but it never seemed to align. It would always be dark by the time the place opened. We were in cosplay as well, so it was the perfect opportunity to!

I could only stay for an hour or so since I didn't want to stay too long after dark. I don't live in the city and the city gets sketchy at night, which was one of the reasons why we couldn’t do it earlier.

But it would still be really fun!

With that decided rather spontaneously, we spent the rest of the time on our phones mostly. Scrolling through social media, you know the drill.

We played these Instagram pause games of HSR and Genshin where you would get a scenario such as being in high school and then you would pause to see who is your best friend and the such. It was a lot of fun!

We got some crazy combinations, as expected from a game such as this.

Dan Heng wanted to kidnap me and I was okay with that lol

Mika was one that stalked Pie a bit too much during these games, so Pie developed a hatred for the dude lol

Once the con ended, we headed to the train station!

My eyes decided to kill themselves like usual as soon as we walked out because it was really windy, and we also went the wrong way for a bit aha

But we found our way to the train station! Don't worry!

Out of the train, we walked straight to the building where it resided! It's near the train station luckily, so I didn't have to walk too far in the dark once we finished our singing.

The building was kind of ugly and pretty sketchy in all honesty. There were these stairs we had to climb and the whole time I was like..."are we sure this is the place?"

But it looked much better on the inside! I was surprised.

There was a nice person behind the desk that had lots of drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) behind them. It’s not like we wanted any but it’s cool to see them.

We were easily able to book a room, and they gave us two microphones!

The room we were in was a bit small but it had disco lights and a screen with large speakers! It was so cool, I felt so pumped to sing from the moment we walked in!

All you had to do was connect to the internet at the place and cast your phone to the screen with Youtube and boom! You could sing any song you want (as long as there is a Karaoke/Instrumental version of the song you want).

I won't write all the songs we did, since we did a whole bunch but:

Pie did Writing on The Wall by Will Stetson and Reach For The Stars from Sonic Colours, which was so cool!! I did アイドル by YOASOBI while being barely able to keep up aha and Super Sonic Racing from Sonic R!

By the time the hour was over, all we wanted to do sing for another hour! It felt too short in all honesty. It was such an experience singing and watching someone else sing too!

I was quite nervous to sing, but I did get more confident as the hour went on!

I also need to learn more Japanese songs because I don’t know enough Japanese songs fully lol

I did know one at least pretty well, being 光るなら by Goose House. I really like that song.

Since it was a duet song (well it has more than one person singing it), Pie and I decided to sing it together!

We were in the middle of duetting 光るなら but then the lights and music shut off instantly in the middle of the song Σ（・□・；）

It was so sudden! I was so confused, we were left in total darkness for a bit wondering what happened. The lights switched back on and the person from the desk came into view.

That's when we learnt our hour was up and we packed up and headed our way to the train station. I wanted to sing more…

We would redeem ourselves next time! We would do Karaoke again, there’s no way we wouldn’t!

I had to wait for a bit for the train to come, so we talked about our plans for Day 2...which you can find out what we did in my Day 2 report!

Thank you for reading my Day 1 report! I hope it was fun reading though my experience! *\(^o^)/*

[recomvery]

Hi! I need some advice. I was in a situationship between December 2022 and June 2023 with my best friend (he and I dated as teens and it took me many years to get over him enough to be friends again, and then the situationship came along). We were friends always, but we talked a LOT about relationships and sex and whatnot way too much, and we ended up sleeping together just for experiments sake. I ended up with feelings, started therapy to deal with them, we work in the same place, he starts flirting with a coworker, it messed me up so I confessed and told him to give me a break while I get over him again. We sporadically talk about work, one day he randomly recommended a movie to me and I'm not sure if he's friendly to be courteous or because he's genuine. The advice is basically, with this background, if I should resume connection or keep him distant. We're about to leave for holiday vacations at work so I won't see him for a while, but I miss his friendship, even if the romantic feelings come and go. I don't know whether to let him back or not, I can't tell if I'm over it enough to be his friend again, I wish I could but I'm not sure

Hello dear ♡

Sadly I can't tell you which of those choices to go with, as it would not be ethical and I know so little about this. It sounds like this relationship has caused a lot of pain in the past and continues to inflict pain in your every day life. As you make your decision, consider following questions:

How do I feel about dating a co worker? What are the pros and cons ?

Why hasn't this relationship worked in the past ?

How has this person made you feel most of the time?

Do you feel the kind of affection from him you would like your daughter to feel with her love interest ?

Has there been unrepairable damage done to your emotions?

Which option and relationship status with this person would be the safest for longterm stability?

What is best longterm?

Make sure that you take care of yourself in the process. ♡

[gacmediadaily]

Actress Danica McKellar expressed her gratitude this Thanksgiving and she spoke about her new original Great American Family film, which will premiere on Saturday, November 25.

Working with Damon Runyan

She co-stars in “A Royal Date for Christmas” along with Damon Runyan. “Damon is fantastic,” she exclaimed. “I previously worked with him in the film ‘Very, Very, Valentine’ back in 2018, where he played the ‘other guy.’ We had this breakup scene and he got emotional, and it was a beautiful performance.”

Synopsis of the film

In this movie, Bella Sparks (Danica McKellar), owner of Bella Sparks Couture, takes on a demanding new client “Stefan” (Damon Runyan) to outfit for a week of high stakes meetings and events after his luggage goes missing.

Stefan asks Bella to be his “official plus one” for many of the formal soirees, a request Bella accepts with good humor. Imagine Bella’s reaction when she accidentally discovers “Stefan” is Stefan William Francis Brown, the Duke of Tangford.

“This duke went through a public, messy breakup, and he asks Bella to be his platonic ‘plus one’ for his event so that he can avoid questions about the breakup,” she said.

“I find myself with this unusual job to both dress him and accompany him to these events, and of course, I get attached pretty easily to him. We both have hearts that need healing,” she added.

Playing Bella in the movie

On playing the role of Bella, McKellar said, “I relate to her in some ways because she has given up on love, and here comes along this perfect fairytale prince and she can’t believe it. She doesn’t believe it at first. I am on my second marriage, and I found my fairytale love the second time around. We’ve been married nine years now, and we celebrated our 10th anniversary of our first date and I am so grateful.”

“My character, Bella, gets to go on the same journey of thinking that fairytales can’t come actually true, and then she realizes that they can,” she added.

“I am so thrilled about this movie. I think it was totally meant to be. I think audiences are going to swoon,” she said with a sweet laugh.

Thanksgiving of 2023

McKellar expressed that she is thankful for so many things this Thanksgiving holiday. “I am thankful for my family, and for the opportunity to tell these beautiful stories, in order to brighten people’s days,” she said.

“Hopefully, that will help provide an escape, especially in this crazy world we live in these days but also to model aspirational behavior. These films really provide that, and if we all acted more like these characters, we would have a better world to live in,” she elaborated.

“I like it when movies like these put positive things into the world, so I am grateful to be a part of that,” she added.

Cameron Mathison

McKellar had great words about actor Cameron Mathison, who recently inked a multi-picture deal with Great American Family. “That was fantastic,” she admitted. “Cameron is a great guy! We’ve been friends for a while now. I hope I get to work with him on a Great American Family movie.”

2023 Christmas Con

McKellar is also looking forward to Christmas Con, which will take place on December 8, 9, and 10, 2023, at the New Jersey Expo Center in Edison, New Jersey. “That will be a blast, especially to meet all the fans. It will be a lot of fun,” she said.

Closing thoughts about her new Great American Family movie

“I will be live-tweeting during the premiere,” McKellar told her fans. “If they use the hashtag #aroyaldateforchristmas and if they tag me handle, I can see it for sure.”

“I am so grateful for my fans, especially for tuning in and for interacting with me on social media,” she concluded.

To learn more about actress Danica McKellar, follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

[saintlaurentproblems]

One of my closest friends is in a low key crappy relationship with her boyfriend. They’ve been breaking up and getting back together on a weekly to monthly basis since August. Her way of coping with the relationship is to always talk about it and constantly ask if she should be dating him and going over the pros and cons. I told her in December that I couldn’t keep up with the on/off anymore and would just assume they were together unless she moved out (they live together). She started dating another guy two weeks ago and I thought she was finally breaking the pattern but then she called me today and said they got back together again and wanted to talk about all the same things again. Has anyone else been in this situation? I don’t know what to do. I try to always be a supportive friend but it’s been 8 months and I’m kind of over it. Also she’s almost 25 and desperately wants to get married young, have kids and be a stay at home mum. Her boyfriend doesn’t want kids, so like… idk why she’s wasting her time.

From what I’ve learned from my own experiences with friends, they don’t actually want to hear your real opinion. They just want to vent. They’re going to keep doing what they want to do regardless and if you start talking shit about him then she might get defensive and turn on you. Just kind of agree with her without saying too much. Eventually something will click in her and it will fizzle out. The dick might be too good for her to give up right now lol.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

17 March 2023 Friday 3:17 pmpdt

I think 🤔 my youngest sister pushed me away for too many years to really get to know me

She doesn’t really tell me much or talk with me much. I usually have to learn things second hand 🤚. If you asked her what classes I took in school 🏫 she probably would not be able to tell you. She would probably have to learn it second hand 🤚 like from a website or mom. 3:21 pmpdt I think 🤔 she never took an interest in me? 3:21 pmpdt I remember once when she came to visit in2009 or 2010 she said “I have to get out of here.” I thought 💭 she said that Bcz she didn’t want to be around me. I did visit her in New York but I don’t really recall many conversations than what I already put here + one more. There were a few short in minutes exchanges but I usually recall her running 🏃🏻‍♀️ out the door 🚪 to be with her best friends. 3:25 pmpdt

6:24 pmpdt incubus/miñion keeps attacking my vag w/ acid & then touched my tongue 👅. I don’t recall telling the last 3 guys how I felt b4 s*x or being pressured to have s*x. I want to remind the incubus miñion who conveniently forgets I hinted to my first boyfriend that it might not work out Bcz we did friends with benefits first, & b4 making it official I asked if we could still be friends if we break up 🆙. 6:28 pmpdt maybe that wasn’t fair Bcz I wasn’t clear enough. The second guy I told upfront I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet when he kissed me without asking. The third guy Scott cared to ask if he can have a kiss 💋 but he didn’t care to really get my verbal consent, but he didn’t ask first if I liked him. It was probably the second or third time we hung out one on one, I think 🤔 I remembered he didn’t wait very long to ask for it. Makes me think 🤔 he was hanging out with me for the wrong reasons. Early on he drew my name with backward 7’s & the first letter of my name looked like it was tripping taking a fall. 6:33 pmpdt I think 🤔 backward 7’s probably = not perfect. Bcz 777 = perfect. 6:34 pmpdt he is probably going to claim he was testing me but I think that’s a cover to get rid of women he uses for free or cheap s*x. 6:36 pmpdt

6:38 pmpdt he’s lucky 🍀 I am & always was afraid of sharp things & knives 🔪 & all I ever did was yell at him for having to take plan b 6:39 pmpdt. He’s lucky 🍀 I’m not Lorena bobbitt. He is lucky 🍀 I didn’t go down in his d*ck & bite it off yet this is how he repays me. Exploding my uterus & dissolving me with acid. 6:40 pmpdt he’s lucky 🍀 & im not. 6:41 pmpdt

6:48 pmpdt Scott might be secretly vicious even when he has everything & is happy. 6:50 pmpdt same with incubus. 6:50 pmpdt they like to vilify women & pretend they are clean angels. 6:51 pmpdt

6:53 pmpdt I am a sacrifice. They don’t plan to save me. When it was December 2001, 4-5 months away from turning 17 years old I think 🤔 “Brendan” started losing interest in me I suspect. & I suspect it’s Bcz he prefers them younger. 6:56 pmpdt & Bcz I didn’t bite his initial offer for him to buy me plane ✈️ tickets 🎫. 6:57 pmpdt

7:40 pmpdt I suspect Scott & incubus are expert con artist 👨‍🎨. But they can’t trick me anymore. What they did to me is unforgivable. 7:41 pmpdt

I never married anyone. I think 🤔 me & my first real boyfriend probably were afraid 😱 to be alone. The girlfriend he had before me went away for college lived on campus. 7:44 pmpdt I wish he never lied 🤥 to me about being crazy about me about being my husband about us having kids. Sam Levine doesn’t look like me. Liza Levine doesn’t look like me. I have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ what gio really looks like. They look like they photoshop everything. 7:46 pmpdt incubus attacked my vag with more acid b4 writing this & I had diarrhea (acid under skin of right arm pain 7:47 pmpdt).

7:47 pmpdt incubus is a heinous creep & I see no reason for him to do this to me other than to punish me for talking or writing ✍️ about Scott, Nick V./B., or 2001. 7:49 pmpdt

[sugar-coated-prat-dragon]

it’s been obvious mary and tanner have been dating for a while (i would say at least 5/6 months now) but you didn’t want to believe it lol it’s not normal to take your bestie to vacations with your family alone. mary spent part of the summer in ohio with him at his family house. the matching necklaces with the initials and zodiac signs, matching shirts and sharing a lot of clothes. if you look at mary and tanner’s recent ig follows, it’s pretty similar which means they’ve been meeting the same people together. one of mary’s bffs posted a picture of tanner and mary having dinner together w her, her other bff and sister in november. the picture implied they are a couple.

they went to that disney vacation with tanner's family and later went to the uk for liverpool comic con then they were together in paris and went to london. they were together in las vegas to that punk rock festival in october and someone there said they were kissing. another person said he met them at disney lego house because he works there (they were there with his family and nephew) and the person said they were holding hands. plus, their latest ig interactions are already very flirty. also they have been together in nyc recently. i think they spent new years eve there as well.

mary broke up with her boyfriend in early 2021. by january/february she wasn’t with him anymore and you can tell not only by her not posting about him anymore after that, she not longer mentions having a boyfriend on interviews after early 2021 (and she used to do it a lot). in the panel for liverpool she even avoids mentioning him when they asked her about her audition process and everyone knows it was her (ex)boyfriend that remembered her to audition because she has told that story before.

i just think mary and tanner don’t want to “confirm” it. i think they have been obvious but are trying to keep it very private for themselves. the disney pictures of mary matching shirts with his entire family is already a huge proof.

Honestly, I started wondering if they were dating after I met Tanner in May, because of the way they interacted, but (like I said in my other post). I didn’t have any proof and being friendly with someone of the opposite gender, doesn’t have to be romantic.

When I was on the phone with my friend in Orlando, I told her I thought Tanner and Mary might be dating, but that I didn’t want to spread rumors if I didn’t have at least some proof.

The posts in December where Mary, Tanner and his cousin are on vacation with her holding his nephew a lot kind of clinched it for me.

At that moment I was no longer think they were just close friends.

The fact they were wearing couples shirts to Disney is also pretty hard to ignore.

Below is the conversation of me talking to one of my friends in May of last year after I came back to the hotel room from the Orlando convention and saw Mary’s reaction to my Sam/Robby item that she autographed. 👇🫡

I thought they might be dating even than.

But I wasn’t going to be the person who spread rumors about it, just because I saw Mary look over at Tanner fondly when she saw the picture of their characters together and surrounded by hearts.

[college-girl199328]

Real-life Celebrity Grinches. Stars who DESPISE Christmas

"It’s the most wonderful time of the year"… to some people, but not according to these celebs, who won’t be "driving home for Christmas" as they would much rather see the Grinch steal it instead. Dashing through the North Pole, discover the real-life star Scrooges who would rather not be Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree…

Lady Gaga

The "Bad Romance" singer caused a scene back in 2010 when she bit the head of a stuffed Santa! Pulling the stunt on stage at The O2 in London, she told her fans she has mixed feelings about Christmas, saying: "I do like Christmas, but for those of you who are feeling lonely this Christmas, I hate Christmas!" I'm alone and miserable! Anyway, now that I've killed Santa, what am I going to do with all of you?"

Hugh Grant

In an ironic twist of fate, Hugh Grant, the star of the Christmas classic "Love Actually," has admitted he is not a fan of the holiday season. Hugh often arranges a vacation abroad to avoid the festivities in the UK. Speaking to the Daily Mirror newspaper, he said: "The last few years, I have taken Dad to a Muslim country to escape it completely." "We both hate Christmas."

Colin Firth

"It’s hard to distinguish between Collin and his character Scrooge because, according to the Firth festive songs, they make him mad," says the star of "A Christmas Carol." He said, ”I think Christmas turns us all into Scrooge." "Everyone is trying to throw happy stuff at you, and that’s when I come over all humbug.”

The French actress admitted that, from a young age, she did not want to receive any presents and would argue with her mother, who couldn’t stand seeing her daughter be the only child without presents under the tree. Speaking to Kelly Ripa in 2016, Marion shared: "From a very young age, I remember fighting with my mom because I didn't want to get presents." She was very mad at me, and it was a fight every year because she couldn't stand having me among the kids without a present. And I was like, "I'm fine; I don't need anything; I don't want it."

As a man who is not shy about voicing his grievances about things he doesn't like, it is probably no shock that Noel Gallagher is not full of the festive spirit. Describing Christmas as a "stain on society," Noel ranted: "Too much food, too much "We Are The World," the sweaters, the TV presenters, the adverts, the weather." Noel, of course, did financially benefit when his Oasis song "Half The World Away" was chosen by major British retailer John Lewis to feature in their 2015 Christmas advertising campaign.

You might be surprised to learn that the man who organized the 1984 Band-Aid charity single "Do They Know It's Christmas?" dislikes the holiday season. And that's because he can't go anywhere during December without hearing the song, which was a No. 1 hit and raised millions for Ethiopian famine victims. Geldof said, "I am responsible for two of the worst songs in history." One is "Do They Know It's Christmas?" and the other is "We Are The World." "I will go to the supermarket, head to the meat counter, and it will be playing." Every Christmas!

The "Friends" star is still haunted by the ghost of Christmas past as she recalls having to endure a humiliating festive tradition as a child. Speaking to Entertainment Weekly in 2016, she said, “When I was a kid, they used to make my belly dance." On Christmas Eve, my dad’s whole side of the family is Greek, so I would dress up as a little Greek girl, and then on Christmas, after taking belly-dancing classes, I would do that. It had nothing to do with Christmas, even. It was just, "Let’s humiliate Jen on Christmas."

The "Midnight Sky" legend, who as a young Disney starlet covered Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and more recently performed Wham!'s "Last Christmas"

for an Amazon Music event in 2020, spoke about her chaotic family Christmases on the KISS Breakfast Show, saying that her holiday get-togethers always end in “fistfights” and door slamming. She said: "I mean, we're all kind of conspiracy theorists, and I remember one year we got onto the topic of, like, aliens, and it ended with my brothers not talking for a week and my mom crying."

"Spectre" star Christopher Waltz doesn't like Christmas because he believes that the holiday has been taken over by commercialism, which "comes to its unbearable peak over Christmas." When asked what his biggest festive wish is, he said, "No Christmas… That's my biggest wish: no Christmas.

Despite releasing the very successful "Merry Christmas, Baby" album back in 2012, Sir Rod Stewart is not full of Yule Tide joy. His wife Penny Lancaster Stewart revealed on the UK TV show "Loose Women" that she dresses up as Mrs. Santa Claus each year in a bid to cheer up her Scrooge husband. She spilled: "Rod doesn't love Christmas. He can't wait till the decorations are down and his house is back to normal. Just to lift his mood, I put a little Father Christmas suit on.

[captnjacksparrow]

I don't want to be disrespectful, but I'm also curious to know if you find something off in the way Kishi talks about his family? He said he was surprised that a lot of people expected Naruto to end up with Sakura and that even his wife was angry over the fact that they didn't end up together. He tried to convince her that Hinata was modeled after her, but she caught onto the fact that he was lying. (Doesn't his wife know that he basically wrote a tragic gay love story?) Didn't he also say that she was like Kushina? But Naruto is his self insert? And Boruto is a message to his son? (Please correct me if any of this information is wrong). Do you think he's even divulged the true story he was writing to anyone? I don't know the writing process, but do you think his editors or assistants even know? I guess I'd just like some perspective or to be told that I'm wrong because the stuff my mind is coming up with just makes me think Kishi must be living a lonely life

Heh... You too thought all these things, Anon??? Well, I too gave a thought and then I ignored it altogether...

However, Naruto is Kishi's Self-Insert... A Fact which everyone knows, even Japanese readers made fun of that many times.

Firstly, He said to his wife that Hinata was modeled after her... But an interview later he said Hinata was nothing but her b00bs.😶

Secondly, Didn't Kishi made both Sakura and Hinata to be those shallow girls who never understood anything about their Husband as to who they are and how they feel deep inside??? But His wife who also couldn't Pick up/ Understand the real story his Husband was writing all along is weird as fuck for me. [[Sorry Kishi!! That’s so weird to me]]

I mean, she doesn't have to find Gay Subtexts and ship SNS but atleast she could have found out a simple fact that Sakura is totally irrelevant to the story. Right???

Okay, Let's forget about SNS. But why Kishi always says it's uncomfortable/creepy to date with the female characters that he created??

I don't know why it's creepy to date with a Girl, Hinata but he don't feel shy to date a Boy, Shikamaru🤔🤦🏻‍♀️

That’s kind of spooky...!!!!

I also found another thing to be hilariously weird... But take this as a funny coincidence or a simple joke... Or whatever suits your preference.

So, in December 2013... He gave this following interview..

He said he wanted to go Honeymoon...

In 2014, that is right after the Manga ended...

He still said he wanted to go on a Honeymoon.

But in 2015, New York Comic Con...

Even the Interviewer himself asked about the Honeymoon to which he deflected it by citing 'School' as a reason XD XD XD

This reminds me of...

That time Naruto always showed his Interest in Dating Sakura...

But when she confessed him...

He rejected it🤷🏻‍♀️

Hilarious.... Coincidence (???).

Do you think he's even divulged the true story he was writing to anyone? I don't know the writing process, but do you think his editors or assistants even know?

Can’t say for sure whether he divulged it to his Friends or Family. But When it comes to writing process, He couldn’t have been keeping it secret from his Assistants or even from his Editor forever. My hunch is that not everyone (even his Assistants) would have picked up the Subtexts from the Get-Go. Atleast Not in Part 1. 

They might have very well taken that Accidental Kiss as another Joke and Sasuke dying for Naruto is just a basic Shonen/Chinese novel Concept for Brothers & Friends. Not something specifically Romantic.

But as the series progressed further and further or at least by the end of VoTE1, his Assistants and Editors would’ve found out what he was trying to write. There’s no way that they could be Oblivious beyond that point.... And not for 699 chapters.

Look at this. 

This interview was from a Fanbook that was released around 2008 or 2009, I don’t remember exactly when. But The Author was trying to get a Green Signal from his Editor to use Reverse Harem no Jutsu in his Manga. Well, if that isn’t an Important thing or it's just another Joke which doesn't mean anything, then he didn’t have to be this persistent, you know. And it’s precisely because of it’s Controversial Nature, the Editor refused outright for all those years. 

Do you think that The Editor or Those Assistants didn’t know anything about any of this???

Of Course, they do. 

My guess is that, his Family members might have thought that Kishi was writing some ‘intense’ friendship between Naruto + Sasuke and nothing more... Or they didn’t bother to ask him further as to what's going on with his Story Or they are not at all interested in what he was doing... That we will never know.

But what piqued my curiosity was this...

“I had almost no friends” 

But It feels like he is projecting his true self most of the times... He started out as someone with no acknowledgement, No friends... He failed many times before he got a chance to prove himself as a mangaka... Finally he became a Successful mangaka... And then he casually said that Boruto movie is all about Parent-Child love because he missed spending his time with his Children since he was busy drawing Naruto Manga just like Naruto not spending his time with his Children... 

In that Parent-Child movie, we know that Boruto is the Child... But who is the Parent??? Because that movie was all about Sasuke and Boruto + Naruto.... Man!!! More and More Questions...