#this hit HARD for closeted trans me

[glitterparpaing]

i just discovered Mary Mulvey and her song "Let In The Light" and it’s become easily one of my favorite songs, especially since my mental health is at a critically low level

"I still believe in happy endings

The broken hearts let in the light

And even though I’m tired,

I won’t let my life pass me by

I know that I will be alright"

like???? i guess this is it. i will be alright. i have no choice. i will have my happy ending whether i believe it or not. i deserve it.

[astranauticus]

"Yeh Yung-chih (葉永鋕) [...] attended Gaoshu Junior High School in Pingtung County, Taiwan, and was often bullied by his classmates due to his gender non-conformity. In April 2000, Yeh Yung-chih was found lying in a pool of blood with serious injuries and died after being taken to the hospital. The incident led to extensive discussions about gender equality education in Taiwan."

Translation under cut:

玫瑰少年 - 蔡依林

Womxnly - Jolin Tsai

谁把谁的灵魂 装进谁的身体

Who put which souls into which bodies

谁把谁的身体 变成囹圄囚禁自己

Who turned their bodies into prisons for the self

乱世总是最 不缺耳语

Troubled times are never short of whisperings

哪种美丽会 换来妒忌

What kind of beauty is rewarded with jealousy?

你并没有罪 有罪的是这世界

You did nothing wrong, the wrongs are with this world

生而为人无罪 你不需要抱歉

Nobody is born with sin, you have nothing to apologise for

One day I will be you, baby boy and you gon'be me

喧哗如果不停 让我陪你安静

If the noise won't stop, let me accompany you in silence

I wish I could hug you, till you're really really being free

哪朵玫瑰没有荆棘

What rose is not accompanied by thorns?

最好的 报复是 美丽

Your best revenge is beauty

最美的 盛开是 反击

Your greatest blooms are your retaliation

别让谁去 改变了你

Don't let anyone change who you are

你是你 或是妳 都行

You can be man or woman, it doesn't matter

会有人 全心的 爱你

There will be people who will truly love you

试着想像 you switched to his body

Try to imagine, you switched to his body

Sexuality 当心什么会伤你

Sexuality, be careful of what will hurt you

多少次的重伤 多少次的冷语

How many severe wounds, how many cold words

Drowning 谁会拉你

Who will pull you up when you're drowning?

Dreaming 谁会陪你

Who will be with you when you're dreaming?

Same shit happens every day

你离开后 世界可改变

Has the world changed after you are gone?

多少无知罪愆 事过不境迁

How many ignorant faults are forgotten as the world moves on?

永志不忘纪念 往事不如烟

Never forget Yung-chih, don't let the past fade away

生而为人无罪 你不需要抱歉

Nobody is born with sin, you have nothing to apologise for

One day I will be you, baby boy and you gon'be me

喧哗如果不停 让我陪你安静

If the noise won't stop, let me accompany you in silence

I wish I could hug you, till you're really really being free

哪朵玫瑰没有荆棘

What rose is not accompanied by thorns?

最好的 报复是 美丽

Your best revenge is beauty

最美的 盛开是 反击

Your greatest blooms are your retaliation

别让谁去 改变了你

Don't let anyone change who you are

你是你 或是妳 都行

You can be man or woman, it doesn't matter

会有人 全心的 爱你

There will be people who will truly love you

玫瑰少年 在我心里

The rose youth lives on in my heart

绽放著 鲜艳的 传奇

Blooming into a beautiful legends

我们都 从来没 忘记

That we have never forgotten

你的控诉 没有声音

Your accusations are silent

却倾诉 更多的 真理

Yet they convey greater truths

却唤醒 无数的 真心

Yet they have awoken countless hearts

哪朵玫瑰没有荆棘

What rose is not accompanied by thorns?

最好的 报复是 美丽

Your best revenge is beauty

最美的 盛开是 反击

Your greatest blooms are your retaliation

别让谁去 改变了你

Don't let anyone change who you are

你是你 或是妳 都行

You can be man or woman, it doesn't matter

会有人 全心的 爱你

There will be people who will truly love you

玫瑰少年 在我心里

The rose youth lives on in my heart

玫瑰少年 在我心里

The rose youth lives on in my heart

[beldaroot]

just watched i saw the tv glow and it’s one of those movies that while watching it you’re like “wtf am i watching?” but by the end you’re like “oh yeah this is genius”

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I haven't talked to a friend in a few months but I want to, so I just texted a picture of my dog in hopes that that will start a conversation. Cuz I miss her but don't know how to start conversations.

[sweetlittlestarbursts]

reading Frankenstein for the first time...

so I just started reading Frankenstein a few days ago and all's going pretty well until "unfeeling, heartless creator! you had endowed me with perceptions and passions, and then cast me abroad, an object for the scorn and horror of mankind" happened. Reading this as a closeted transmasc hit me like a fucking train, and now all I want to do all day is cry.

Honestly I just sympathize with Frankensteins monster so much. He doesn't know who he is yet, or his purpose in the world, all he knows is that he wants love and acceptance, but instead, again and again, he is beaten and cursed as a monster, a demon, and and wretch, thrown from homes and condemned to a life of misery and loneliness, and all for the way he appears on the outside. Even back then humankind was so fucked up. It makes me sick to think about the way "weird" people are treated in this day and age just for what they identify as, or what they look like, or what they believe in. Like, anyone can be a good person, you don't need to be rich white straight christian conservative etc to be a good fucking person.

We are all Frankenstein's monster. That doesn't make us any less beautiful. Just be yourself, and you'll be beautiful in the eyes of all who truly see.

"Be yourself; everybody else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

[vergeofinsanity]

idk why but being misgendered has been fucking me up lately

[werecreature-addicted]

Thinking about fucking a trans man werewolf who packs. You start making out with him and are certain his dick is big enough to rip you in two. Grinding against him and moaning loudly. The idea of what is to come has excitement buzzing in your veins in anticipation. Making out as he rips at your clothes desperately. Then he pulls away briefly, making you whine cutely.

“I need to ask you something, how big do you want me?” Gently he removes you from his lap and opens his closet which is filled with strap ons. Your mouth waters. This is going to be fun.

On wobbly legs you walk over to the closet and pick the biggest one available. He smiles eagerly & swiftly rids himself of his jeans and decorative packer (though you have decided it’s more like a wonderful advertisement of what is to come).

Strapping himself in he looks… incredible. Without thinking you drop to your knees and suck the strap. He hums contentedly, shoving himself down your throat. You wonder if this is a magical strap that he can feel. It doesn’t matter really, you’re enjoying yourself after all. Eventually he removes himself from your mouth and lays you on the bed. Squirming in anticipation you try to stay still wondering if there’s punishment in store if you make this hard for him (you kind of hope there is).

When he begins thrusting you’re certain the strap is magical, it feels amazing. Hitting everywhere perfectly.

“How long do you want this to last?” He asks looking at your blissed out face.

“As long as you can”

You kiss him sweetly before he makes you scream.

———

Hope you enjoy this, I was really feeling the idea of a trans masculine werewolf today & this was a little snippet I was thinking about

Ty for all your writing

I would give anything to be sucking Werewolf strap right now :(. He has special ones that have knots. I'd push his harness to the side and finger his pussy while choking on his fake cock.

[darkcircles4lyfe]

What are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

This is a pretty vague ask but I’m pretty sure I received it yesterday. If not… oops?

I’m actually so excited for the next—that is, the second to last—chapter as someone who was deeply affected by chapters 391-395 and who just loves Toga Himiko in general, so so much. I’ve really grown to love Ochako’s arc too and I’ve come to trust the process here. I didn’t know about everyone freaking out until after I read 428 officials yesterday, and I’m not worried like that. We’ve been in this type of cliffhanger situation multiple times before.

The news that the end of Himiko’s and Ochako’s fight wasn’t recorded hit me hard, just like it hits Ochako, because the world doesn’t get to know who Himiko really is. There’s nothing Ochako could say on her behalf that would compare to actual footage of her pain, anger, joy, love, sorrow, and sacrifice.

…which is to say, Himiko does not serve as a martyr, a tragic, cautionary example. I’ll remind you that that was what the PLF reporter wanted her to be, and she was controlling and patronizing. Let’s think about this as a choice Horikoshi is making, to discard the only ammunition he had to make Himiko into an example and have it be even remotely compelling and satisfying. Boom, gone. There’s no footage. Why?

On the other hand, this is actually an advantageous turn of events if it turns out Himiko survived, because more calculated actions can be taken to keep her safe. I’m starting to see this as a turning point not necessarily for society as a whole, but for the hero profession and its purpose, wherein under Hawks’ leadership the hero commission could become the exact opposite of what it was. It’s no accident that the first half of this chapter is devoted to showing how the next generation and the public were both ~so inspired~ by class A’s actions in a way that mimics the chain of inspiration that motivated class A to begin with. Only this time, Ochako and Izuku are deeply uncomfortable with it! They don’t want this chain reaction to keep going the same way forever. These people look at them and have no idea what they’re actually going through or what they’ve seen. Future heroes who don’t know the real story. That’s very upsetting. Now they are starting to see firsthand how a pattern of collective forgetting is perpetuated. It won’t change until someone like Himiko is actually saved. No bright future without a place for her in it.

I’m excited because this chapter directly confirms Ochako’s awkward, overly cheerful mask for what it is, as it finally starts to crumble. In hindsight, she’s probably done this a lot in the past as well. It casts her whole character in a new light. She and Himiko are so much alike in this way.

I still have high hopes for this storyline because of how much it resonates with me as a queer allegory. Of course, Himiko is also literally queer, but I mean the symbolic stuff about her quirk and her family’s rejection. As a trans person who spent a long time in the closet convincing everyone around me that I was a normal, happy girl, whose pain and rage only festered and grew stronger, who was perceived as selfish and destructive, who was determined to live for myself but still doubted if I had any future at all… I see Himiko’s story as so perfect, so real, that I can’t imagine it ending poorly. And it doesn’t have shit to do with canonizing that ship, either. I’m not worried.

[fakeboycorrection]

New fakeboy story! A little more preamble in this one, but I love this dynamic regardless:

Being trans and on a men's soccer team was always going to be a struggle, you knew that. You'd been working hard your whole life to get to this point, and you weren't about to be humiliated now. You'd come out to your parents as a young teen, and jumped straight into the boy's soccer team in your high school. It'd been hard, but you did your best, and made your way, eventually, onto your college's soccer team. Now, you were in the big leagues, and everything was harder. Size might not be everything in soccer, but it was crazy, just how much smaller you were than the other guys. You came in at about 5 foot 2, while all the other guys were at least six feet tall, most of them had a foot or more on you. You'd been treated as the runt of the team, teased and picked on, bench warming most games, but tonight was the night. The team captain, a big guy named Adrian, had decided to get you out on the field. You were working up a sweat immediately, struggling to keep up with the guys on the other team, sprinting up and down the field the whole time.

At the end of the game, things were all tied up. You knew your team could take them if things went into overtime, so you just had to keep the ball away from them until some of the substitutes could jump in. You had the ball, and were running it up the field, pushing with all your might to keep it out of the hands of the other time. The clock was ticking down, you were swerving left and right, dodging all their team members, when at the most important moment, you slipped and fell on the ground. A member of the other team quickly snatched up the ball, and made a sprint to your goal, shooting it in and scoring the victory. The crowd erupted into a mix of cheers and laughs, all while you lay there on the ground, trying not to cry.

You had tried so hard to be the best that you could be, but you'd failed, losing your team a critical game. You walked off and back to the locker room, trying to hide away from the angry faces of your teammates and fans, trying to get away from it all.

No one was in the locker room, and you figured you had plenty of time before anyone got back from getting yelled at by the coach, so you decided to take a quick shower to try and wash off your shame. You slipped off your uniform, covered in sweat and dirt, and then took off your binder and boxers, laying them next to your bag. You walked over, completely nude and tits now bouncing with every step, to the shower, getting in and turning the water on extra hot. You were only in there for a few minutes before you heard a door open, and the sounds of many male voices arguing.

"Ugh, that was fucking bullshit!" You heard Adrian yell as someone slammed the door shut. The whole team must've been inside. You went to reach for your towel, but realized you hadn't brought one. Not wanting to be seen, you stayed in the shower, hoping no one would come in. You were still in the closet to the whole team. Only the coach knew that you were trans.

"I know, right? It's not our fault that dumbass can't play. I still don't know how he made the team..." you heard another voice respond. You felt the embarrassment of the loss welling up in your cheeks, causing your eyes to water. "I don't know how he even made the team, the little runt..."

"Maybe he sucked off the coach?" Adrian said, and the whole room laughed. You felt your face turning red. You might not be the best, but you'd made it on the team, fair and square. "You've seen the way coach looks at him, right? Dude wants that ass. I'm gonna hit the shower, let me know if he comes in here to scream at us again, over bullshit that wasn't our fault." You heard the vitriol in Adrian's voice as he said that last line, walking towards the shower. You froze, not sure what to do or where to go. You could hear the slaps of his bare feet against the ground as he inched towards the shower, and the best thing you could think to do was turn around and hope that he'd just take one of the other spots in the room without talking to you. The communal shower wasn't very big, but you thought you could hide from him...

"Well, there you are..." You heard Adrian's voice behind you, but continued to face the wall. "Nice playing out there. Got us all screamed at by coach, and you're just hiding away in here?" You heard Adrian's clothes hit the ground as he undressed. "You're the one that deserves to be yelled at..."

"I'm s-sorry..." You tried to whimper out, hearing Adrian step into the shower fully, turning one of the other showerheads on. You heard him make a noise, almost like a growl.

"Yeah well, sorry doesn't get us to championships. Never should've taken you off the bench... You know what?" You heard him start walking towards you. You tried to make yourself as small as possible to hide from him. "You're the one who deserves a lecture, not us. Let's start with this..." He grabbed you roughly by the shoulder and spun you around.

"What the fuck..." you heard him say. You'd closed your eyes now, not wanting to see his reaction, but you knew that he was now staring at your tight, feminine body. Big tits with a little cunt to match. You felt his eyes staring into you for almost a minute, and eventually, you gave in and opened yours, looking back at him. The look on his face was a mix of confusion, anger, and... something else. Something that scared you. Before you could say anything though, he opened his mouth and shouted.

"Guys, get in here!" He yelled. Your eyes shot open fully in shock. You tried to open your mouth to say something, but were stopped by his hand, pushing against you roughly and silencing you. 7 or 8 of your teammates filed into the shower, all stripping down as they got in.

"Do we seriously have to shower together dude? Isn't that a little ga-" the one at the front started to say, before seeing you, held in place by Adrian. A chorus of voices rang out.

"What the hell?"

"Who's she?"

"Why'd you bring a girl in here?"

"Wait, is that the runt?"

You stared at them, tears threatening to pour out of your eyes. You'd always wanted to come out one day, but you wanted to come out on a good day. You wanted to be the star of the team, to show everyone that trans guys can be the best at anything they choose to be. You wanted to be MVP, then reveal your identity and see the shock and awe in their faces as they realized an FTM could be on top. Not... this. You didn't want to be the loser, who gets outted by his whole team seeing his tits in the shower.

"Boys, look what we have here..." Adrian said, giving the room a smirk that hid evil intentions behind it. "Seems the runt's been keeping a secret from his team."

"Wait, he's- or, she, I guess... Is one of those transgender girls?" One of the guys asked. You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at that.

"Nah she's a trans guy, like that one dude in our Bio class. Means she was born a girl." Another teammate said. The other guys looked at you and studied your body. You watched their faces as they slowly turned from curiosity to understanding, and then into a strange, primal hunger.

"I think I have a better idea of what we can do with you, as a nice little reminder of what happens to guys that keep us from making it to champs..." Adrian said, letting go of your mouth and grabbing your arms. He was so much stronger than you, you couldn't resist him at all as he picked you up and pinned you to the wall, underneath the hot, running shower.

"Wait, please!" You blurted out, finally able to speak. You felt the warm water run down your tits, streaming down and running over your cunt. Your whole body felt hot. You felt something else touch your thigh, and you thought Adrian had kneed you, until you looked down and saw what had touched you.

Adrian's cock was resting against your thigh, bigger than any you'd seen before. You weren't really interested in guys, so you hadn't studied their bodies before. But this cock was definitely bigger than any you'd noticed in person, as big as the cocks on those guys in professional porn. You started to shake with fear. "D-don't do this Adrian, please..." Adrian just smiled and leaned in, kissing you.

You felt the firmness of his lips as they pressed against yours. You tried to pull away, but he grabbed your chin and forced you to kiss him back. You felt sickened, and struggled to get away, slapping him with your newly freed hand, but one of the other guys had moved in and grabbed it, pinning you against the wall. As Adrian kissed you, biting your lip lightly, you looked around past his face and saw the other guys slowly jerking off their hard cocks. Their muscled bodies were a strong contrast to your tight yet soft body, now pinned against the warm tile of the shower. After a few moments, Adrian pulled back, letting a string of spit hang between the two of you.

"Come on, be a good girl and just enjoy this..." He said, laughing. The others laughed along with him lightly, but were now too focused on your body to play around anymore.

"I'm not a girl! I'm a man, just like you..." You responded angrily, giving Adrian a nasty look.

"Oh? Then what's this?" He said, jamming his fingers into your pussy. Involuntarily, you moaned, practically collapsing into his chest. You looked up at him defiantly, but you could already see victory in his smile. "There we go, there's a good girl..."

Your defiance turned to sadness, and then to pleading. "Please, Adrian. Please don't do this... I... You can't fuck my front hole, at least. I don't want a kid anymore than you do, right?" You looked into his eyes, looking for any sense of mercy.

"Oh don't worry." He responded. "You said you're a man, right? Men can't get pregnant..." He laughed, spinning you around and throwing you into the crowd of guys, all of which placed a hand on one of your limbs and held you tight. "And besides, there's what, ten of us here? That's only a ten percent chance it'll even be my kid... I'm willing to take those odds."

With that, the rest of the guys pinned you down onto the floor and knelt down at all sides of you. Most of them just jerked off over you, but Adrian stuck his cock in your pussy, fucking you so fast and quick that you thought you'd break immediately. You thought it would hurt more, but the wetness inside of you was making it easy for him to force himself in. Despite everything, your pussy was acting appropriately, getting wet for them. As Adrian thrust into you, you felt moans burst out of your mouth once more, against every struggle that you made to keep quiet. You were silenced fast though, as one of your teammates took the opportunity of your open mouth to jam his cock down your throat. He thrust way down into you, choking you on his dick and slapping his balls against your face. You tried to gag, to scream, or do anything, but you couldn't even move. The other guys were still pinning you down, circling you and jerking off over your soft body.

Adrian continued thrusting into you, reaching down and squeezing your tits with a free hand. "There's a good girl..." He said, sending a shiver down your spine from all the sensations. He kept fucking you like that, telling you over and over what a "good girl" you were for taking him so well, before finally announcing that he was about to cum.

The teammate fucking your throat pulled out for a second to let Adrian lean in real close to your ear and whisper, "I'm dumping my load way down inside you, little runt girl..." as he came inside you. You couldn't help but moan, feeling his warmth fill you up. He leaned back, allowing the other guy to start fucking your throat again, to which you couldn't even fight back on any more. After a few seconds of filling you up, Adrian finally pulled out, then tapped one of your other teammates on the shoulder. That one situated himself in front of you and started fucking you, just like Adrian, though he didn't last quite as long. A few minutes later, and you were getting filled with even more cum. At the same time, the one fucking your mouth let his seed down into your throat, growling as he did so. You could hear Adrian laugh from the sidelines, watching as the torture in your eyes slowly turned to bliss.

After a few of the guys ended up cumming on your chest, Adrian came back into the fray, grabbing you by your hair and dragging you over to one of the walls. Your other teammates released you, letting him take full control of you.

"Are you ready to be a good girl yet?" He asked, grabbing you by the chin and smiling. You leaned against the wall, trying in a daze to look at him.

"F-fuck you..." You whimpered out, trying to hide the remnants of pleasure shocking your body. Adrian just kept smiling.

"Wrong answer, pretty girl." He said, grabbing you under your thighs and picking you up like you were nothing. He pinned you up against the wall, shoving his cock in you while he held you up against the wall. He literally lifted you up and down on his cock, bouncing you on it, using you like a fleshlight.

"You know, you make a pretty cute girl..." He said, grunting as he thrust you up and down. You couldn't stop your moans now, crying out as your petite body shook in his strong arms. "I don't know why you people even like pretending to be men... isn't this so much better?"

You wanted to respond, to tell him no, but your mouth couldn't even form the words. You just continued moaning as he bounced you up and down, fucking the mess of cum and shower water deeper into your cunt, sending even more spasms down your back and through your limbs. Adrian smiled, knowing he didn't really need an answer to know that he'd one. He leaned in to kiss you again, and this time you gave in, kissing him back as you bounced up and down. You felt his tongue enter your mouth, feeling as strong as every other muscle in his body, dancing around as your moans mixed with the sloppy mess of making out. You grabbed him by his hair, holding on for dear life while he thrust deeper and deeper inside of you. You'd felt it building up this whole time, but were still surprised when an orgasm wracked your body, forcing you to pull Adrian in closer until he joined you in cumming, filling you up for the second time of the night.

After your orgasms subsided, Adrian dropped you back down onto the floor like a ragdoll, and you collapsed roughly, cum leaking out of you and onto the tiles of the floor. "Get some use out of her." You barely heard Adrian say as he walked out of the shower, grabbing his towel. THe other guys walked over to you, grabbing at you hungrily, wanting to do more than watch a show this time. One of them stuck his cock in your mouth, which you happily sucked on, needing more of their manliness inside of you. Another grabbed your hand and put it on his dick. At first, you just held it, but he slapped you, causing you to start jerking him off.

"There you go, good fucking girl..." You heard him mutter under his breath. Another guy held his cock out on your other side, and before he even did anything, you reached up and grabbed it, jerking him off as well. Those three used you until they had all finished, covering you and filling your throat with their hot, sticky cum, which you greedily drank down, even licking some of it off your hands as they walked away.

After that, two of the other guys dragged you back to the middle of the room. They picked you up and held you in between them, one of them with his cock at your pussy, the other prepared at your ass. You'd toyed with your ass plenty in the past, but you were still surprised at how easily his cock got into you when they both rammed inside. Maybe it was all of the cum dripping out and on your body, maybe it was the water in the shower, but they both slipped in with no problems, fucking you on both sides. All you could do was moan in a blissful state, barely aware of what was going on beyond the pleasure filling your body. They fucked you like that, bouncing you between them for what felt like an eternity before filling you up and dropping you unceremoniously back down onto the floor, finally dripping cum out of every hole now.

The night went on like that for a couple of hours, your teammates filling your mouth and pussy, or just cumming onto your pretty little tits. Once you were done, Adrian had a long, private chat with you about your role on the team going forward.

Surprisingly enough, he said you could stay on the team! Unfortunately, you had to wear a new uniform to every game, and were never allowed to play again. The new uniform was basically just a short skirt and bra, in the team colors. You hated being turned into a glorified cheerleader, though you had to admit, you didn't look half-bad in it... Of course, this outted you to your entire school and turned you into a laughing stock. The loser that had lost the team a big game, and who'd been turned into a cheerleader as a punishment. Adrian ended up leading the team to champs regardless of the loss, and, despite you never actually helping, you technically supported them along the way.

After every game, you "supported" the team in the locker room for a few hours. And honestly? It was a lot more fun than your dumb little fantasy of being MVP. Maybe being a girl isn't half bad...

[your-queer-dad]

i finally talked to my mom (again) about getting my hair cut shorter- and we've got a tentative date on the calendar for later next week. i'm very happy. i've been thinking about this for a really long time (about a year) but what really pushed me is a few conversations i've had that basically boil down into: "man. i wanna cut my hair again but what if i actually don't want this and have been elaborately lying to myself" "you've been bringing this up for various ways in about a year. please just try" "man. what if it's horrible." "hair grows back. the only way you're going to know what you want is to experiment with it." <- one of my friends who consistently has crazy hair so i trust their judgement i think the thing i was most nervous about was my mom; the first time i brought this up, she was mostly on board, but then said something along the lines of "you're not doing this because you want to look like a boy, though, right?" which. then? nah. I was just trying to experiment. now? absolutely. i still haven't come out to her, exactly, but it's on my mind and i know she'll support me. still, that comment kinda hit me hard for a minute- as it would any closeted trans guy trying to discover his identity. anyways, with all that behind me; i'm going to cut my hair! and i'm going to look how I want! and it's (hopefully) going to be both before school pictures but not RIGHT before so i have time to get used to it! - sincerely, A Guy Who Named Themself After A Rock (he/they) (please go drink water and eat food, take meds, anything else you need if you haven't yet today once you read this. ANYONE who reads this.)

Hey kiddo!! I'm really proud of you for asking for something that's gonna help with your self expression and I think whatever haircut you're gonna get it's gonna look great!! Happy for you kiddo!

- dad x

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

My Poem.

-

im stuck in a closet

i want to go out, and yet,

i know if i leave

i will never know peace again.

sometimes i let myself out, when no one is around

to feel the bliss of being out, the sun on my face

and the grass on my palms

even if the closet keeps me safe

it suffocates me, takes away my love for me.

i feel numb, wanting to leave

but never leaving.

i spend my time trying to fit myself

into my perception of my own body

and yet my hips are too wide.

my waist is too thin.

my chest is too large.

my hands hurt from trying

to fit myself into my new identity

so, i will wait

in the body

that was never meant for me.

trapped inside a plastic barbie body.

suffocating.

[this poem is about being transmasc]

REAL I'M NOT EVEN TRANS

that hits hard dude

the barbie doll line ough

thanks fishy--friend on tumblr dot cum

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear! Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Thanks to @isaksbestpillow for making this watch possible.

Last time, Makoto went on a friend date with Daichi to find an appropriate gift for his closeted boyfriend's father. They eventually found a massager that felt appropriate. Meanwhile, Kakeru has taken some steps to exit the house more, but he's taking care to avoid kids his own age because he never feels like he can connect with them. We got additional insight into Daichi, learning that he's suffered excruciating homophobia, and every day he chooses to be brave enough to be kind. We also met Daichi's mom, and I appreciate that he probably learned his considerate approach to people from her. Daichi and Makoto had an amazing conversation about what to do if Kakeru is trans, and also in the public bath. It felt like Makoto made a genuine breakthrough last episode.

I like how gentle the mom is being with Kakeru about this situation. Even though she's so happy to see him in person, she's not making it feel overly special that he's out and talking, and she led with check ins.

It's really important to me that Mika is making the choice about Kakeru's future one he gets to decide.

I don't know how they were before Makoto decided to update himself, but their teamwork feels familiar. I think he at least trusted his wife's instincts when it comes to their kids.

I love that we're seeing Daichi with his boyfriend away from the Okita family. We should know what his own life looks like. I'm also enjoying the vibe between him and his huge boyfriend. I love that they're both veterinary students.

Man, Daichi overwhelms me with feelings every time. He's so good about framing a challenge or difficulty in a way that's manageable.

I liked Makoto getting a glass out for Mika to have a beer with him. It felt like it was something they do sometimes. I do wish he'd tell Kakeru this story, too. I think he'd appreciate knowing that his dad became this macho type because of bullying.

I'm gonna cry again about this conversation in the car. Really Kakeru just needed to know that his dad had his back. Gender is not so simple, and I like that Kakeru clarified that he doesn't dislike being a man, but he doesn't want to present as coarse or 'manly,' and wants to be cute.

"No one is more ignorant and obstinate than me. You've got immunity," ended up being way more heartfelt than it might have a few episodes ago.

"Let me think about it," has been hitting so hard from the Japanese shows since 2021. I don't know the specifics of what Madoka has been through, but I like that his immediate thought after catching himself was to thank Daichi for the regard he showed his parents.

So relieved that these girls weren't immediately mean to Kakeru.

Don't blow this for us, Makoto. Just be patient and let Kakeru show you the way.

Well well well, the girls want our boy's advice.

Crying again about the mom's note.

I like this woman on their team. I think she's Shimura. She does not take workplace abuse in stride and holds her ground.

I remain obsessed with Apple.

These girls let him opt out of karaoke. There is hope.

Wait, but this overachiever seems pissed that he's crushing her hustle.

I do love that Moe came running for her brother.

Aw, Makoto didn't get the "keep it normal" memo and overdid it.

Hey, Moe is bringing the dad in on the situation now! That feels earned from episode 2!

I, too, hope Kakeru finds his B-suke-kun.

Mmm, familiar kids from Madoka.

This show is so rewarding. The relationship developments from previous episodes continually pay off. Daichi's influence is helping both Okita men make it through their troubles, and now Makoto is able to coordinate with Mika and Moe about Kakeru. Everything isn't suddenly fixed, but you can see the effort beginning to pay off. I'm going to be thinking about that car conversation for a long time. I am glad we're seeing an independent Daichi plot, but I am worried it won't end happily.

[caughtonwebcam]

sp hcs <3

- In his 20s, Cartman used to sneak out to bars and try to seduce men while crossdressing. He thought it was a secret, but Kyle, Stan and Kenny all knew, they just didn’t say anything but joked about it in private. (This was before he became homeless. He got kicked out of college.)

- Craig goes everywhere looking like he rolled out of bed. Like just throws on a hoodie that was on his floor and sweats.

- After post-covid, Stan ends up marrying Wendy, but the marriage ends in divorce.

- In middle school, Butters becomes a bit of a bully. After constantly being grounded throughout elementary school, be becomes rebellious and starts to hang out with Cartman more. However, when around Kenny, he feels as though he can be his true self. He was also veeeerrryyyy deep in the closet about his gender identity at this time, and tried very hard to project his masculinity as obnoxious as possible. Kenny was the only one who knew about Marjorine being trans and helped keep the secret for her up until high school. She started hrt and publicly came out her senior year.

- Tweek always wears mismatched socks.

- In high school, Butters got the courage to call cps for his parent’s abuse, after doing so being put into foster care. He was adopted by the Tweeks and became Tweak’s adopted brother/sister.

- Scott Tenorman lives in a mental hospital.

- Stan played with Crimson Dawn throughout middle school and high school. The band became kinda cultish within South Park. When they broke up before everyone went to college, Stan tried to start a solo career and got a couple gigs. He still plays with the former members occasionally, though.

- Stan smells like axe. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting.

- Kyle can’t go a day without showering. He also wears cologne a lot.

- Kyle is a neat freak (he has ocd.)

- Kyle hid his hair under his hat up until junior year, being heavily insecure about it. In college, he started to embrace his hair and let it grow out.

- Since dating Cartman, Heidi suffers from bulimia and anorexia, because she still sees herself as a clone of Cartman.

- Bebe is one of those girls who sprays bath and bodyworks warm vanilla sugar perfume all over the locker room.

- Tweek and Craig like to bond over movies and tv shows, like Adventure Time or Star Wars. Their current favorite is Steven Universe (Tweek’s favorite character is Peridot and Craig’s is Garnet <3)

- Cartman still sleeps with his stuffed animals/dolls, but denies it.

- Mars becomes a cheerleader.

- When watching a horror movie with friends, if Clyde knows there’s a jumpscare coming, he will leave the room and yell “Is it over yet?” when he wants to come back in.

- Kenny makes his money when living alone by being hired for kids birthday parties. He will go as either Mysterion or Princess Kenny.

- When Stan starts to question his sexuality during his preteen years, Wendy helps him out by telling him she’s omnisexual herself and introduces him to bisexuality.

- Red and Wendy date for two weeks in middle school.

- In middle school, Stan nearly drops all his friends again, hitting his lowest point with his mental health and alcoholism. He starts to recover in high school.

- Stan HATES weed. However, he still smokes it as a stress reliever despite himself, having been surrounded by it since 4th grade. Occasionally, he’ll smoke some with Kenny.

- Stan has ache, meanwhile Kyle has a perfect skincare routine.

- Craig, Clyde, Bebe, Heidi, and Wendy all have braces.

- Mars loves y2k, early 2000’s and Japanese Harajuku fashion.

- Kenny owns one of those stupid “virginity rocks” and “I ❤️ hot milfs” t-shirts.

- Nicole and Tolkien are married and Tweak and Craig are engaged.

- Stan is still jealous of Kyle and Tolkien’s tiktoks. In response, Kenny and Stan make their own tiktok account to rival them.

- Kenny’s phone is a hand-me-down iPhone 6 that is so cracked it’s a shock how it even still works.

- Wendy takes muay thai lessons.

- Kyle is a huge book worm, enjoying classic literature. Stan makes fun of him for it, thinking it’s boring.

- Stan carries tote bags everywhere.

- Stan loves motorcycles.

- Stan avoids red meat in his diet. He still eats chicken and fish, though, since he’s not a total pussy.

- Tweek likes musicals. Craig, on the other hand, thinks they’re silly.

- Stan is a fnaf kid.

- Kyle is a coffee addict. Not Tweek level ofc but he can’t go without it.

- Kyle is an insomniac.

- Kyle enjoys writing, specifically poetry. In middle school, he wrote a lot of cringey poems that he is embarrassed of, which his mother kept as keepsakes.

- Cartman writes yaoi fanfiction of Tweak and Craig that he hides under his bed.

- Kyle went through a “I’m not like other boys” phase in middle school. Years later, Kyle had to scribble out his old yearbook photos cuz he hated them so much. He had a pair of round glasses that he thought looked so good for about a year, then saw his photos and never wore them again.

- Butters started sneaking out in high school to go to Kenny’s house. Marjorine became a really good liar.

- Tweek likes physical touch but feels uncomfortable giving it or having it be displayed, while Craig hates being touched but loves getting into everyone’s personal space.

- Tweek is taller than Craig.

- Marjorine has a huge growth spurt in high school, making her the tallest out of the boys.

- Tweek has a huge fear of blood. If he gets something as minor as a scrape or a paper cut he will literally pass out.

- Stan and Kyle will stay up very late playing roblox together on school nights.

- Clyde is afraid of loud noises, specifically thunderstorms. He also has a fear of clowns.

- Clyde and Kyle both sleep with a nightlight.

- Kyle is a straight-A student. If he gets a B he will beg the teacher for extra credit to make it up. Stan’s grades are pretty average, mostly B’s with a couple A’s and like one C. Kenny has abysmal grades. Mostly F’s and D’s and one B. Cartman is mostly C’s and D’s with one F.

- One of Mars’ favorite hobbies is to go thrifting. She often goes with Kenny and they pick outfits out for each other.

- Mars and Kenny also like to bond over online games, specifically Hello Kitty Island Adventure (among other things like webkinz or animal jam)

- Mars and Kenny love singing karaoke together. They also like painting each others nails for fun.

- Mars and Kenny aren’t dating, just really close friends. A lot of people think they are due to their joke flirting (they both know it’s not serious but they think it’s funny. Sometimes they’ll do it just to confuse people.) Mars is dating Red and Kenny just sleeps around, but is open to a committed relationship(s), both monogamous or polyamorous.

-In college, Kenny worked at a tattoo shop. He gave himself his own piercings. He has a lot of them.

-Kenny likes wearing skirts and dresses occasionally. Not like Cartman does, but in a “fuck gender norms I can wear what I want” kind of way, being cis.

-Cartman used to talk to his plushies and believe that they were alive and had feelings (he watched toy story and totally thought it was real). He used to cram all his plushies onto his bed and sleep with them because he didn’t want them to be lonely.

-Cartman is very embarrassed about his genderfluidity, with lots of internalized homo/transphobia (if u asked him what his pronouns were, he’d probably say “I have a dick and balls, make of that what you will.” Otherwise, he’d go by he/she) If he found out that the other guys knew, he would die. - Wendy and Stan, since middle school, are constantly in an on-again-off-again relationship. Stan’s personal issues in middle school led him to treat Wendy horribly, even if he didn’t mean it. Heidi used to comfort Wendy about this, sharing her experiences, and they became close. In high school, as Wendy became more popular and Stan started to recover, he started to chase her while Wendy was colder. However, they hooked up occasionally and dated periodically. While Stan was getting better, he still lacked good communication skills, and in senior year, Wendy finally broke up with him for good. They rarely saw each other in college, but after that they reconnected and became friends. Read the first headcanon. - Kenny doesn’t give a fuck about his health because he knows he can just come back. He’s constantly living life on the edge and doing dangerous shit, but is always quick to protect anybody who he feels is at harm and would never try to drag them into anything crazy he does. - Kenny will get high off of anything. Anything. He doesn’t cheese anymore but he likes huffing and taking LSD. - Mars and Kyle enjoy writing.

- Wendy is wasian (korean and white)

- Stan is wasian and Latino (Japanese, Mexican and white)

[themidnightwitch44]

Heyyyy who’s ready for some more mildly unhinged Falsettos thoughts

Trans Whizzer

I genuinely believe, that casting a trans man as Whizzer, and having Whizzer be a trans man in a production of Falsettos would be SO INTERESTING.

AND ALSO I THINK IT WOULD FIT

Here me out

Part of Marvin’s whole issue in act one is that he keeps trying to put Whizzer into a stereotypical housewife kind of role. I mean Whizzer says it himself in The Chess Game:

Whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner / be a patsy, lost at chess / always bravely acquiesce / clip the coupons, make the dinner / and love him

Now imagine trans man Whizzer. Whizzer is dating this man, this closeted gay man. Whizzer is the reason Marvin divorced his wife. Marvin has no issue with him being trans, he sees him as a man, only for Marvin to start trying to put Whizzer in traditional feminine roles.

Like… as someone who is trans masc, this would hit SO HARD

And the thing is, it could be done PRETTY SUBTLY too

Like… if we’re thinking about the 2016 revival blocking and choreography, during Thrill of First Love, when Marvin rips open Whizzers shirt, have Whizzer wearing a binder or trans tape or other period-appropriate binding methods! Or maybe he’s already gotten top surgery and he has top surgery scars!

This is all very rambly because it was written over several days. This is also all EXTREMELY headcanon-y

But anyway those are my thoughts I have only been in this fandom for 2 weeks and I have made more posts about it than I have for fandoms I’ve been in for 10 years

(@fructidors i genuinely wouldn’t have posted this if you didn’t tell me too)

[the-blue-fairie]

I saw Frozen in theaters today as part of the Disney100 Special Engagement.

One of my deepest regrets is that I never saw Frozen in theaters when it came out. I know that must sound really silly when put alongside my other regrets (like, you're going to put not seeing a Disney film in theaters alongside being in the closet for years?) but... that film changed me.

And again, I know, that's what everybody says. And I can imagine people easily saying to me, "Oh, the incredibly popular Disney film that became a Phenomenon had an emotional impact on you? Get in line. Oh, Elsa/the Let it Go sequence was part of your queer awakening? You and scores of other people, that's not as special as all that."

But it's special to me. Even if scores of people have profound emotional connections to this film, even if scores of people felt their own queerness reflected in Let it Go, everyone's personal experiences are uniquely resonant to them and special. And sure, it might sound more than a little silly/cringe to say that my egg was able to crack because of connections I made with trans Frozen fans I met online a decade ago, but... it's the truth.

I didn't see it in theaters. I was recently out of high school, I was too good for Disney films, too "adult" for them, and I skipped over the film. But since it DID become a phenomenon, I made sure to check it out the moment it came to home media and... to say that the characters and plot resonated with me would be an understatement. The prologue hit me like a truck. The complicated, beautiful, heartbreaking bond between the sisters resonated deeply. Anna's desperation for human connection in the face of isolation hit me hard. Elsa's being conditioned to fear herself, her wanting to reach out but dreading the consequences, her constantly putting others' needs above her own to the point of self-abnegation culminating in the moment that finally breaks and we get one of the most exultant sequences I've ever seen. (Yes, I'm gushing over a sequence so universally beloved that people got sick of it, sue me.) And, God, I still see so much of myself in both sisters. And, obviously, some reflection of myself in a queer reading of Elsa.

I dove headlong into the fandom and it was through connections I made there that I was able to process who I was. I've met friends and loved ones through this film, and for that, I am so grateful.

I've always regretted I never saw Frozen in theaters and was so glad to have the opportunity today.

The screening had a running commentary from the kids behind me. :D There was a little girl dressed as Elsa just ahead of me. Judging by their ages, this was their first time seeing the film in theaters as well, and I'm happy they got that chance.

I teared up during Do You Want to Build a Snowman and For the First Time in Forever. I think FtFTiF was the moment it fully hit, "Oh my gosh, I'm really getting the chance to watch this on the big screen."

I love Moana and Encanto dearly, but of all the Disney films that came out this past decade, Frozen is the one that means the most to me.

I love this film so much.

Thank you, Frozen.

@sniperct @ariel-seagull-wings @princesssarisa @thealmightyemprex @brokenwild @grctw @greatqueenanna @patricia-von-arundel

[betterbemeta]

The idea of the barbie movie makes me feel some way that is hard to describe for the same reason a lot of my agender experiences are hard to describe. There's a lot of concrete language, projected expectations, shared understanding of binary gender experiences... but not very much for 'null' experiences.

Nonbinary experiences are muted in general, but often do get described-- in contrast to the binary. Even 'gender-neutral' is usually conceptualized as androgynous, could-be-male-or-female. 'Neither gender' is usually thought of like, 'a secret third thing' rather than 'nothing.'

I grew up disliking barbies because they were a toy my parents didn't prefer. My parents are older, so they saw a lot of cultural shifts: the '60s as kids, the '70s as young adults, the '80s happened as they began to gain stability and had me in the '90s. So the journey from 'baby dolls' to 'fashion dolls' really didn't hit any feminist women-can-be-adults statement to either of them. They were fully awake for Reaganism and how it turbo-boosted femininity as a consumer product. I know that's the opposite of the typical 'my boomer parents' narrative but it's the truth.

So I didn't play with dolls, dress-up or otherwise, much as a child. I found other outlets for that type of play that satisfied me. I played a lot of pretend, I dressed up in my own costumes, I designed characters, I wrote and drew them, and I 'dressed up' avatars in video games. I really didn't feel like I missed anything.

I began questioning my gender more when I had to present more feminine for things like job interviews and for work. I realized that I was playing a role that was not 'me', but dressing up like a doll. You know, not just 'costume time' but 'costume time, with accessories that come in the box.'

It disturbed me for a little while, but eventually I found the idea freeing. For the first time, I was not just 'bad at doing 'girl' but 'someone who can assume the form of a girl' even if the way I acted and felt was just 'me.' It occurred to me that ordinary girls probably didn't feel like they were collecting 'garb' like for a SCA event or a ren faire to go into the city every day. I am going to the party in disguise, I am a shapeshifter, I can Assume The Form You're Comfortable With, impostor syndrome who?

For a lot of people, this would be 'being in the closet.' Or it would be 'girlmoding' or 'boymoding' or whatever. And others might be like, 'it's not trans representation to present as the gender you're assigned at birth!' But it's actually impossible to 'present as' the null. We don't look at the people around us and think 'are they all in costume, pretending? What if they're nothing?'

In fact, conservative power despises this idea and projects it on the most vulnerable people in the queer community. If somebody passes an anti-cross-dressing law, they think they are safe from doubt. But if they went to a wedding and everyone in their gowns and suits told them, we're not men or women, it's dress-up, it would be a nightmare for them.

To me, the idea of 'a doll' is that whatever the plastic looks like, that is not a girl. Ceci n'est pas une pipe, you know?