#this has just been the best day ever
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I remember how happy I was when Lando scored his first points in 2019. I remember seeing Carlos not letting Lando talk himself down when he was met with disappointment. We all watched as Lando brought Carlos out of himself, let him be himself in a way no one had really seen before, and together they drove the team forward.
I remember waiting in suspense after the Brazilian grand prix to see if Lewis would get the penalty that would give Carlos the podium after steaming through the pack from P20. Lando being so down and disappointed by his own performance, his own pace, but putting a smile on for the team, and Carlos acknowledging how much that meant to him.
And then we're back in Australia for the start of the 2020 season, only for the team to have to pull out due to a positive Covid test. The pandemic. The months away. MTC shutting up shop, making ventilators instead of F1 cars. Carlos announcing he would be leaving for Ferrari at the end of the 2020 season. The feeling of wanting to make every race count that bit more.
Then BAM, P3, Austria, first race back. First podium. Zac hugging him so hard Lando hurt his ribs. Monza - chasing down Carlos in for a podium but missing out. Wondering what it would be like for Carlos and Lando to feel what Pierre was feeling. Securing P3 in the constructors on the final day of the season against Racing Point, giving Carlos the best possible send off to Ferrari.
All the podiums in 2021: Imola, Monaco, Hungary, Austria, Monza. The one/two with Daniel at Monza - such happiness for the team he'd spent two years fighting on track for, but the bittersweet taste of first being just out of reach.
Anyone who watched Sochi knows how much that hurt. It was the perfect weekend; maiden pole, Carlos in second, George starting third in the Williams, but then it just gets ripped out from under you as the cars just fly past.
That one stings for a while.
Races continue and people say when are you going to get your first win? Can you do it with McLaren? Can McLaren get you fighting for the lead?
2022, there's Imola, but the podiums don't come like they did in 2021. The team isn't going forwards, and the happiness we felt when the team picked up a P8, P7, P10, isn't the same as it was in 2019. Faith in the team remains unwavering, but maybe a little tested.
2023. Pre-season testing. A sinking feeling. First race, double dnf. Oh, this is going to be a long season.
Miami 2023 felt like it lasted the whole day. The media pressure was unrelenting. Why can't anyone believe that McLaren is the place and people that Lando wants to win things with, win things for. Sure, the season has been bleak, but that desire doesn't fade.
Austria is the most unexpected, but most euphoric feeling. McLaren can do this in half a season... bring these upgrades and utterly transform a car that was by far the slowest? Seriously compete?
Silverstone. Front row. The ROAR of the crowd as Lando sends it past Max Verstappen to take the lead. And sure, it doesn't last for too many laps, but it was a pure, shining, tantalising moment where you realise once more what it could be like for Lando to win. You're transported back to all the moments that got you here, and he's not even winning. But now, now it really feels like this time, maybe this time, McLaren have really got something they can fight with.
A podium at Silverstone. A podium at Hungary. Oscar proving his class, and suddenly all the chatter on McLaren has become hype and excitement.
Feeling SICK as Lando defends against George at Singapore, working with Carlos in an instinctive, symbiotic way. Clipping the wall, and then seeing George go off. Fireworks. The dream one/two realised.
Ending the season in a place that felt completely unobtainable in Bahrain.
And now this year. Seeing where we were come the first few races, disappointed not to be as close to Red Bull, but in a decent fight with Ferrari.
A truly special podium in Australia. Shanghai too.
And now Miami.
This has been the journey. Small highs and lows, crushing lows, and euphoric highs, setbacks and disappointments, massive gains and top class drives. Rumours, gossip, media pressure, team pressure. Moving up in the championship, then sliding back. Coping with the messy fallout from the 2018 car. Learning how to be kinder to yourself, wheel to wheel racing with childhood heroes. Missing out by a tenth here, team orders, teammate victories.
Now finally, a win with the team Lando's stuck by, and that have stuck by him. An unwavering loyalty to papaya, a second family. A win from pace. A win from strategy. P6 to P1. The respect of the whole grid.
This has been coming for such a long time, and the journey to it has been long and winding. There is SO much more to come still. And we're with you, like we have been this whole time 🧡
#lando norris#miami gp#mclaren#carlando#f1#formula 1#this has just been the best day ever#it's been such a ride#🧡🧡🧡
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tranny freak :)
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#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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man, it's a hot one like seven inches from the midday sun
(now available at my shop!)
#happy first day of fall ngl i'm really excited about the week of rain in my local forecast lmao#trigun#trigun anime#trigun fanart#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#this is one of those doodles i've been wanting to make of these two since 2018 and only recently realized i can Just Do That now fdjghdk#fellas is it gay to be privately Very nosy about the fact ur best friend has never ever taken his coat off in front of you
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Choi Han, for a test from a god, is sent to an unknown land with "Cale."
Choi Han, upon arrival, realizes something is strange about this Cale. He's got a similar appearance to his own Cale but the eyes are sharper, with a witty bite to his tongue and a quick sneer always at the ready.
He's clearly confused and distressed about being in a strange place with a strange person but he does his best to not let it show. His hand reaches for a bottle of alcohol that isn't there.
Choi Han thinks that this Cale isn't like his Cale at all.
Choi Han has a hunch that this Cale is the one from before Kim Rok Soo's possession. It makes sense. So he isn't his Cale.
However, though Choi Han wants to become cold to this stranger version of Cale, when he looks into those red-brown eyes and sees fear, he draws back. It's an instinctual feeling that he gets, right as Cale is spitting more vile words to cover up the trembling in his hands, that he doesn't want to see even a terrible Cale be afraid of him.
This doesn't stop them from arguing. Through towns, forests, deserts, they both learn on an intimate level that they would never, ever get along. Cale is too loud, too threatening, and Choi Han can't resist from debating with this strange Cale about morals, of all things. They argue constantly.
Though they argue, Choi Han can't help himself from sometimes mistaking this Cale for his own. He tells himself it's because they look alike.
They're both in the midst of an argument when a noble-like individual approaches them with cloying words, which seek to lure them inside of the noble's home. Choi Han is suspicious, but before he has the chance to decline, Cale steps in front of Choi Han and demands to speak to the noble who wants to see them.
The noble-like individual turns out to be the servant of a more powerful man, something that Cale saw through immediately.
Choi Han is stunned.
How did this, this trashy Cale with no moral upstanding, clock the intentions of a person so quickly and accurately?
He asks him directly. Cale shrugs. Choi Han believes he's mistaken when Cale's eyes flicker with calculating intent. They don't discuss it further.
Little moments like these keep occurring. Cale does something impressive, Choi Han inquires, and Cale downplays it with a sneer or an insult and refuses to speak about it again. It's weird and strange but it's familiar. Extremely so. Not the insulting, and the sneer is too odd to be his own Cale's face, but it's familiar in the sense that they both underestimate themselves. They both refuse to acknowledge what lies under the surface of their visage.
This Cale is a strange individual. He swears and laughs and grins, he's too calm about their situation, and it's difficult to get through to him when he makes up his mind about something. But the strangest thing is that all of these things remind Choi Han of his Cale.
Finally, it all comes down to a final battle. One more fight and both himself and this Cale can go back to where they belong. Choi Han is ready.
Cale receives a power from a book before the battle and it's unlike anything Choi Han has ever seen. But the coughing up of blood makes him have Cale swear to never use it. Cale swears.
Choi Han makes Cale promise to stay on the sideline and not approach. Cale easily agrees.
They get to the last stage, the last time they'll see each other again, and the villain of this world is too powerful. It's as if he weren't meant for them to fight. It's as if he were made so that they struggle.
Choi Han swings his blade to block a blow that he knows he can't block, knows might end him, and he thinks about how he can't possibly die right now and leave this Cale behind... but he's too weak.
He wonders what his Cale would do in this moment, when everything seems hopeless and nothing is working.
Cale steps in front of him and uses his power to its fullest extent.
White light is shining everywhere, blinding Choi Han who keeps his burning eyes open, desperately keeps his eyes on the Cale that's bleeding from his mouth and his nose and his eyes and his skin is starting to crack, crack like he is about to turn into dust and disappear.
Cale turns to look at Choi Han.
"Ah. I was worried it wouldn't be enough to take out the villain." His eyes stained with blood curl up in a smile. A ball of dread sits in Choi Han's stomach. "I'm glad. I'm really, really..." eyes drifting closed, his body begins to shatter further and further. "Happy for you, Choi Han."
This is why they felt familiar.
It's with a cry of grief and anger, anger at himself, that Choi Han reaches out to hold Cale, hold onto even a piece of him.
Cale's eye, the only one left as he is disintegrating, widens.
Choi Han grasps a fragment that's about to vanish from Cale's chest, somewhere next to his heart, and this piece doesn't break, doesn't disappear from Choi Han's hand. It stays solid and firm and real-
And it's all that Choi Han is left with when the gods test ends.
Choi Han wakes up, surrounded by his family, with a red, glass marble in his hand. He holds it to his chest. It hurts.
It hurts.
#Choi Han#original cale henituse#og cale henituse#tcf#lcf#totcf#lotcf#lout of the counts family#trash of the count’s family spoilers#fanfiction#fic writing#not a reblog#I thought about Choi Han and og!Cale#they would never get along. Cale would be too inviting of the anger and frustration of Choi Han and he'd embrace it with a bruised face just#like he did that day they would've first met#but og!Cale and krs!Cale are actually pretty similar in a lot of ways. and I bet they're similar in this kind of way too#how could Cale the trash live and let Choi Han the good die after all? that's not how the story goes#so he uses the book to defeat the villain and let Choi Han live. but even he knows that he's going to die#he doesn't think that Choi Han cares about him#his vile words and spitting on the face of those who dare to look at him is not something that people can love or accept. its why he does it#because he knew it would help Basen. if he made himself unlikeable. unloveable. he had to be trash to protect him and he has to be trash#to protect that#but Choi Han looks at him. who is disappearing. and he reaches out to save him#and isn't Cale's surprise the most heartbreaking thing? he can't be loved. not by someone he just met. but Choi Han looked at him#and he didn't want to let him disappear. like there was something about him worth keeping#that's why his heart shard remains intact. because that's his heart. which wants to be kept. which doesn't want to disappear.#anyway what's up guys been a while#how's the angst?#have you ever truly thought about og Cale and how he searched for ways to become unloveable and then did his best to become it?#and he believed it was true. did he even love himself? I like to think he learned to.
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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#i call this one “it’s in my nature to blast every single thing i enjoy with the goth ray”#plus i just like victorian style portraits#ok i know this kind of sucks ass but i was too excited and rushed through#i have been getting back into twenty one pilots as is a regularly repeating occurrence in my life ever since the fifth grade#i just experienced my first show in the pit back in august and i am serious when i say#a day has not gone by since in which i don’t think about it#their shows are genuinely life changing ESPECIALLY if you have been a huge fan ever since you were 12#it fulfilled dreams i had given up hope on ever coming true (forever thankful to my best friend for getting tickets ily)#Anyway#also i gave josh a bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner i jusr miss the spooky jim eyeshadow#tyler joseph#josh dun#twenty one pilots#twenty one pilots fanart#clique art
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I know I've mentioned the Journal before, but this Saturday marks the one year anniversary of the day that I decided to play Alan Wake 2 for the first time, and my life changed for the better. I've used this journal to keep track of various gameplay stats (not pictured is the AW2 page where I'm literally keeping a tally of how many times I've played it which I'm in my tenth full playthrough); notes such as the stash puzzles, deer heads, etc though I still gotta finish the list of nursery rhymes and maps beyond cauldron lake; dreams I've had involving alan or anything remedy related; doodles and drawings (which is huge for me on a personal level cause I have this like. slightly traumatic experience with drawing early in my life that I won't go into detail here); and even a few poems I wrote...and I hadn't written poems since maybe high school.
This year has been rough on a personal level especially with work but like other cornerstone obsession's I've had, Alan's journey resonated with me on so many levels and gives me strength to keep going. The night I bought and played AW2 on a whim just because I saw a meme that "friendship ended with Silent Hill now Alan Wake 2 is my best friend" will go down as a tremendous turning point in my life. I was on a creative dry spell, I had stopped everything and never thought I'd start again, I had exiled myself from any sort of fandom space/interaction thinking I was poison, isolated myself to such a terrible degree from my family and friends, I was in such a deep depression and a new level of hopelessness than I had ever been in before, and I can just go on and on forever on how much this game means to me but the most important thing Alan Wake taught me is the beginning of the final draft, that realization that all is not lost, that my life is not just a loop of depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy (yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar) and his monologue sums it up best:
A fictional poet once said "Beyond the shadow you settle for, there is a miracle, illuminated." I will not settle for a shadow. I will find the miracle, through the night. It's not just victims and monsters; I see now, there are heroes as well. We can find our way through the darkness. We will break through the surface and crash into the light.
#alan wake#alan wake 2#mk.op#was gonna wait till saturday but i'm in a VERY deeply reminiscent mood right now going back and reading some old posts#(not just from this past year but on my original blog)#and idk i've been seeing a lot of fandom related posts on my dash lately and as mentioned i kinda like.#exiled myself from fandoms at one point because by my own fault I think I got myself into too deep of a parasocial relationship#and paired with even just the slightest hints of rejection i panicked. overreacted. multiple times.#never realizing it was likely all just in my head (again my fault)#and so when i got into AW i lurked and liked and never talked#but then one day in march i said fuck it and posted a cap of ilkka screaming about him being wet#and out of all the fandoms i've been a part of even though i'm just a super small part#this has been the best experience ever#and i won't let myself ruin it this time
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btw tw for talking about abuse
I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)
And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.
It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.
Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.
But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.
It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.
She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.
All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.
#its complicated ok#i've just been thinking a lot about this#bc of my relationship with my mom#and coming to terms that i may be experiencing verbal abuse from her#and the very complex feelings i have in regards to her#so i kinda understand where lucanis comes from?#and why its not adressed in game#this is something lucanis has already come to terms with#there's not a lot you can do about it#maybe after caterina died he would think about it#but its not something that can just be 'solved'#in fact i think if caterina straight up died it would be worst#at least with her alive he could have some time to like fucking properly deal with these feelings#idk i'm not defending caterina#i'm just saying its complicated#idk i just see some posts about 'making lucanis realize all the shit caterina did and go kill her'#and i'm like idk if that would do anything for him#btw don't come for me this is a complicated topic and i did my best to express myself in the wretched language that is english#and when i talk about the cultural part#its bc more than once here you'll have people “brush off” that their parents did those things to them#bc its like...'its been so long and its made into the person i am today and there's not much point in dwelling on it'#it may not be the healthiest thing ever#but sometimes its what you have#sometimes you can't think about it too much if you just want to get on with your day#sometimes its does it even fucking matter its so in the past now#anyways#tw talk of abuse#again DON'T COME FOR ME#lucanis dellamorte
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Birthday Planning
SO! Fun fact. I was kinda running out of ideas.
Then I had THIS idea.
And well. After the last ride? We deserve cuteness don't we? ;)
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
No edits we diving right in! (pppst. @spotaus I got the new installment get in here ;) )
*---------------------*
"Horror! Wait up!"
Horror blinks as he turns back around and searches the crowd. It only takes him a moment to spot the excited bunny monster. He tries to give a smile while he waits for a moment for the other to catch up.
Ellie stops before him panting harshly as she leans against him "Oh god." more pants and weezes.
Horror tilts his skull as he keeps the other steady "Hello Ellie... something wrong?" Maybe she needed help or something?
Ellie manages to pull herself upright again adn smiles brightly "Nothing is wrong! It is just I had something very important to ask you guys and saw you so i sprinted all the way over here."
Horror nods and gives her a look "What did you want to ask?"
Ellie grins widely "When is Nightmare's birthday? Like. No worries! I get that you guys havent been here for quite a year yet and with everything going on especially the whole kidnaping thing. we get you guys want the first birthday to just be you guys but Dani realised we still had some of our better quality cherry jams left over and I got the amazing idea to use those in a birthdya cake but! Well.. you know... gotta know when the birthday is. and we both figured it hadn't happened yet as you guys hadn't mentioned yet... so... When is it? And all you guys birthdays for that matter."
horror needs a moment to process all the information she just dropped on him. When he realised what she was asking he realised a tiny problem.
They all come from different universes and the calanders were not the same.
Worse.
Horror isn't even sure if Nightmare even has a birthday he celebrates. They never celebrated it as the castle.
Horror looks down at the groceries in his arms before looking at Ellie "Is it... okay I give an answer later?"
Ellie frowns before her eyes shoot up to his skull and hole and she cringes and rubs her neck as she looks abcka t his face. sheepish smile on her face "Right... sorry. That... that was a lot at once wasn't it? Just... think about it okay? And you guys got our number!" she takes a few steps backwards, almost bumping into someone before she disappears into the crowd again.
Horror sighs in relievve, crisis averted. Now.
When the fuck are their birthdays in this world anyway?
--
Horror returned home to his datemates and their kid. Horror still feels his soul pulse happily even at just the thought.
They sit together in the nest while their dinner cooks slowly in their oven. It is an old stone oven and Horror loves it. it is sturdy and takes up a lot of space but he love using it.
Killer frowns as he is still staring at his phone "I mean... We can just pick dates and call it a day? It isn't like I was still celebrating my own birthday back in my universe anyway. I only started that up again with you guys in the castle."
Dust hums his agreement and Cross nods too "True! XTale also wasn't big on birthdays unless it were the once which marked important ages. I am down to just pick one and call it."
Nightmare frowns as he looks between them before pushing closer to Dust "Not like it matters. It isn't like i am growing and stuff."
Dust nudges Nightmare's skull with his own and mutters softly "Hey... what did Fauna say?"
Ngihtmare doesn't say anything and just pushes clsoer to Dust.
Dust doesn't look like he is bothered by this at all as he just nudges Nightmare gently again "Come on... what did the nice deer doctor lady say?"
Ngihtmare grumbles but actually answers this time "That I won't grow until i am healed."
Dust nods "exactly. As long as you are healing you won't grow. Which, she told us is a normal response for children to have as their bodies and magic are much more fragile." he bonks their skulls together softly "Which means. You will stay our adorable six year old until you are healed fullly. Including physical, mental and magic health."
Nightmare looks down embarresed and mutters "should be healed by now... I am a god..."
Dust looks unimpressed "You are also a six year old who lived his whole life being abused and hurt and when you finally had the power to defend yourself you had to do an adult god's duty." he nuzzles him "Take your time. We aren't in a hurry and any monster knows what it means if a child isn't growing."
Nightmare relaxes a bit and nods. accepting Dusts words.
Dust looks content as he glances up before looking slightyl embarresed as he tubs his hood closer around his skull "what?"
Horror then realises he is staring and a glacne confirms to are Cros and Killer. Cross looks completely enchanted and Killer is straight up cooing. Yeah no wonder Dust is getting shy. He was the same when the four of them spoke about dating.
Horror smiles at Dust before taking his chance to say something "Well. We better pick a birthday for him." Horror smiles at Nightmare "Or do you have one we don't know about Night?"
Ngihtmare shrugs and mutters "Dream and I were born on the longest day of the year... I don't know which date it was in our universe and when it is in other universes."
Killer groans "Of course it was on the sunniest day of the universe- ugh." Killer shoots Cross a glare but Cross jsut sends him a warning look back.
Horror agrees. Killer would have no doubt said something about either Dream or Nim and neither of them matter. At all. Not when they have a babybones that probably never even had anyone celebrate his birthday.
Dust stays on task as he hums in thought "Well... we could figure out when the longest day is here... and say that is your birthday? usually those fall in summer."
Killer shoots upright "or! We can pick the day when the longest night happens! Go right to the other side of it all!"
Horror watches Dust and Killer debate the options while he watches their tiny charge think. and that is why he sees Nightmare blink and looks up a bit as he no doubt gets an idea. Then the doubt sets in wihtout him saying anyhting.
Horror speaks gently "Did you have an idea?" luckily Killer and Dsut shut up right away.
Nightmare shrugs and mutters "maybe... I thought... you know... I became six again... and you guys picked me up so second chance and stuff... so shouldn't that count as the day? Because it is the day this whole thing started?" he tugs himself clsoer to Dust.
Dust hums as he rubs his spine oh so gently "I think it is a great idea." he glances at Killer "Kills?"
Killer grins as he taps away on his phone "already on it! lets see..."
Horror smiles at Nightmare "I think we all agree it is a great idea."
Nightmare smiles a tiny bit and Horror sees a tine glimps of that confident monster Nightmare had been with his powers. Which is good. This means they are guiding him alright towards a future where he is confident in himself, and hopefully happy and healthy.
Killer sits up and holds up his phone in triumph "Figured it out! We got here near mid summer and we had Ngihtmare for two months at that point. Ngihtmare become his true self a month before we got him. meaning!" Killer grins at Nightmare "You are a spring baby!" Killer shows the date to them all.
Ngihtmare looks away embarresed and Dust nods "Sounds good."
Nightmare however looks a bit anxious "But that is so soon already?"
Dust nuzzles him "That is okay. We will just do a small party with us five. Well and Crop and Straw if they want to come."
Horror sees Nightmare looks surprised and just chuckles "It will be nice. Something nice to focus on and enjoy together." he rubs the tiny cheek and Nightmare closes his sockets to lean into the touch.
The five of them relax and eat dinner soon after that as they casually discuss when everyone wants their own birthdays. Horror makes a point of picking up their housephone and calling Dani and Ellie to give them an update on the birthday situation and to invite them the party if they want to and have time. Horror also gives Crop the same update and invitation.
They are together. They are healing. The are happy.
And they have a party to prepare. They have to make sure Nightmare enjoys his very first birthday party after all.
*---------------------*
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#horror sans#Horror my beloved <3 I love his POVS. They are so calm and relaxed <3 Love him#Not as much as his datemates love him though YOOOOO!#Yes the four are dating.#(Maybe that will be a drabble on itslef but at the moment i don't have the mental energy to write them having that convo at the moment)#INSTEAD!#The baby. Needs a birthday day!#These four menaces who have been jumping both universes timelines and cheating physics: ....#them: right! A birthday! Which we have! Of course!#They rush off to converse and figure out when the fuck they would technically be born here and what could work.#Not baby though <3 baby gets first pick and priority because all of them realised that either.#Baby never had a birthday. which is CRIMINAL!#Or. Baby got hurt on his birthday. WHICH!! is even worse?!#The conclusion? Get baby the best birthday ever! which they are getting to work on planning RIGHT NOW!#(One of them will eventually update Error when Error checks in on them again.)#(They aren't encouraging Error's behaviour. Which is why they don't just leave a note for him to find. if he wants to know he has to ask)#(Like a normal person isntead of just CREEP ON THEM!)#But a short drabble! I still got it! I can write short drabbles!
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happy birthday dust sans :3 ‼️🎊
"well, that's that. a grand execution, the perfect punishment for a sinner with lifetimes worth of crimes, and yet, nobody showed up, and dust didn't even try to fight back."
"heh. sounds pretty pathetic to me... but hey, maybe this was what he wanted."
"to die alone only accompanied by the ones he hated with nobody who he'd actually want to witness this?"
"maybe dying only with yourself would be less embarrassing than a public show. privacy is something you never realize you want until you lose it."
"... you were right, that does sound pathetic."
#happy birthday dust sans except he's not even in focus. in fact he is literally on his last day of birth#ANYWAYS LATE POST I KNOW BUT I MADE IT JUST IN TIME BEFORE THE 10TH ENDED IN MY TIMEZONE HEHEHE#triglycercule is officially back 😈😈😈 more murder time trio to come soon........TRUST🙏🙏🙏#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#tricule art#i tried to replicate kinda a style similar to calvateyla's it'll probably look more obvious as the year progresses :3#the theme for this year's trio birthdays? death XD! ok well like yeah but i have plans ok hehehe :3 be ready for a killer and horror death!#but that's over in may and august....... for now february for dust :3#see last minute i realized i forgot that monsters dust when they die so i added that in last minute 😁😁😁😁#hmmm hmmm can i explain my own piece or no 🤔🤔🤔 this is probably the most detailed thing ive drawn so far ever WOW#so there isnt really any context behind why dust is dead and the build up i just thought it would be cool#horror and killer hung him btw thats why there's 2 pulleys on the scarf and obviously why they're there... :3#dust is in the background blurred and not even in focus because like hrkl said: his death was pathetic and insignificant and lonely#dust's constant fight against the human and the internal conflict he has that causes him turmoil and outbursts seems loud and explosive#but really dust is just solemn and sad and quiet and suffering so i wanted to capture that... not a grand finale for him#as always my interpretation and take but i imagine dust initially struggled to not choke but then started seeing things the more air he los#and eventually he began listening to the insults and sobs of those he killed and gave up and allowed himself to die without even fighting#horror and killer can't see this of course because dust's hallucinations are in his own head (not like he can talk anyways LUL)#to dust his death was attended by too many of those he loved yet all telling him to give up#quite opposite to horror's idea that a solitary death is a comfortable one with no eyes to watch#killer is of course an extreme compared to dust and horror he doesn't care at all if people are there or not to witness the death#its irrelevant anyways :p he's just gonna die in the end so what matters dust's comfort if it all leads to the same outcome???#(keep in mind i've yet to do my killer analysis yet...... this is all advice and help my resident killer expert told me :3 soon though!!)#anyways!!! almost late but i made it just in time hehe!! god its been so long since i properly drew on digital its funnn!!!!#also the hanging via papyrus's scarf is a classic idea honestly B) its the best way for dust to go out imo........
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#it’s been a wild couple of weeks#sickness#family visiting#a pet dying#my period#trying to shut out the outside world so i can get a mental escape#playing silent hill and then realizing it’s actually not a mellow game lol#and to top it all off#i missed matthew monday yesterday T-T#on a lighter note#sims rereleased 1 and 2 :D#i made matthew will and winston (as best as i can without mods) in sims 2#then my laptop ran out of battery before i could start playing them#i already made them in sims 3 a year ago#but ever since ea announced that they weren’t going to make a sims 5#i’ve been hoping they would at least make 1 and 2 playable again#and they did woohoo#anyway i prob won’t be fully back on tumblr for a few more weeks#(the queue has been running)#but i just wanted to share what’s been happening#i swear life throws one thing after another at me and i don’t even have time to remember what problem i had to deal with the day before#also i’ve been trying to get around to finishing midnight mass#i like the vibes but the episodes drag on a bit
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i don't have seasonal depression i have unsouled depression
#re: me and digi are halfway through unsouled#im breaking down#we have been shaking all Day reading this fucking. BOOK#anyway hi. im still insane about unwind guys dont worry#i have been insane this whole time ive just been away from Tumblr.#rereading this series is the wordt thing to ever happen to me#Shotuout digirainebow. my best friend#cal has thoughts
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...and a Binah New Year. i hope everyone is happy and hopeful.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#as for me. this is not the best start to a new year i have ever had#quite a bit of emotional turmoil#as has been the case for a few days#i suppose i will just have to deal with it#it is starting to get tiring though#but i do not celebrate new year at this time#so maybe my fresh start will come later
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#he really thinks we're stupid 👁️
#markohm#mark pakin#ohm thiphakorn#gmmtv#HES SUCH A LITTLE SHIT PLEASE#hes really asking as if they didnt pull the gayest shit the world has ever seen on that stage in front of everyones salad a few days ago#i cant#MO: *been blatantly flirting on every social media for months*#also MO: wdym markohm idk her#just watched this whole live and yeah no hes adorable :(#deserves more attention for sure#just hope hes clean kjhgfd#but yeah anyway markohm era is coming and you best believe im seated
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The true Girl, so Confusing duo of Ever After High. Somebody please talk to me about these two their dynamic has been rotting my brain for weeks.
#raven queen#briar beauty#ever after high#eah#eah edit#LIKE????#the way they go from being less than acquaintances to briar disliking raven for what she did on legacy day#not even because of what she did to her but of what she did to apple#to her slowly questioning her own destiny and raven dismissing her worries because she thinks she's just a party girl#to briar apologizing to raven after she lives through her destiny because she finally sees that they both have it badly!!#the system is hurting everyone!!!!#and as much as apple and raven are reflections of each other i rlly do think briar and raven#are the true mirrors because they were both raised for a terrible destiny by mothers who weren't as present#as they should have been and pushed down their doubts about that destiny bc they thought there were no other options#and then got shown a way out#briar was just raised to be a heroine in her story while raven was a villain#and the way apple plays into their dynamic!!!#the way all she wants is ravens attention and briar is happy to help her until raven starts causing apple distress#and she shoves down her own wants bc it's what she's been doing her whole life anyway#but she can't pretend anymore!! and it's raven's fault and she's losing her best friend and everything is boiling over!!!!!#and apple finally comes around bc of raven!!! even tho raven has done nothing but fight her on it!!!!!#while briar did everything for apple and apple barely ever tried to see her point of view!!!!!#i'm fucking losing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c9caea79a424c5b59bf860d816b91491/a5ceaa6fe36617e3-40/s540x810/9699a99a46c816e96e3f83802971d703d5c65953.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9b637289e156dfbfc3946f8847986da2/a5ceaa6fe36617e3-28/s540x810/a59fca25098fa42c0439348569287b769f698441.jpg)
#I'll delete this later i just want to talk about it :3#not featured: WHY Piston is pulling a [REDACTED] on their sire#rubbing my hands together like a fly ooooooh do i have some angst in the works for you guys i just don't have a perspective tool rl#Okay i had the idea of a cute Bumblebee and Breakdown in cowboy hats with a bonus piston but then i had an Idea#yes that but then follow up later when its time to pick a side piston does a cowboy accent very sadly like they have to pretend its not real#the REASON is s3 bee and break fighting in the dome and bee lost on his back with Break towering above him with a [REDACTED] pointed at him#and Piston is beating on the glass WAILING for them to stop#but the view point is slightly behind breaks so he's HUGE and bee is small and Piston is even smaller in the foreground#they stop fighting but Piston can not forgive their sire for that Piston took after Breaks they were thick as thieves but no no#they saw the look in his eye the fear in bee and he only stopped bc shockwave called him off yes he was hesitating to pull and shaking#like a leaf knowing he was being used like a rabid dog to take down the autobot he has to pretend to hate but Piston will always wonder#if he'd do it and they can't decide and it eats them alive but that's their carrier and forgiveness is not cheap#bumblebee does what he can to talk Piston down its just business he didn't really mean it they ve had centuries of faking it but Piston#oh sweet Piston childish days are over their spark has been hardened#they arent on a path of violence or vengeance but when breaks seeks them out “come with me we can be a real family on cybertron ”#piston says “we already were”#and later later we land on the So i guess that's it....i guess so.... you best get on out of here then#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#does piston ever forgive? no but they understand things kinda get better but it's different now#i think they're scared that they'll end up like breaks bc they're so much like him they looked up to him and loved him so much#and now they know they have the capacity to do something like that and be used like that and they're scared#just so so so SO scared and it bothers them breaks was forced into it and they just want to SCREAM#they just want to run away with their parents away from the war where no one can bother them and live quietly#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#tf piston#worry not i shall draw these once I'm home#but i have a laundry list of other things i want to draw first
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