#this has been the last few days for me lmao

[ljubimaya]

AN ACT OF LOVE ۶ৎ

۶ৎ SYNOPSIS: Being loved is being taken care of - emotionally and physically. ۶ৎ FEATURING CHARACTERS: Baji Keisuke, Shuji Hanma, Kazutora Hanemiya ۶ৎ C/W: fluff, established relationships/marriage, afab reader, mentions of flu symptoms in Baji's part, pregnancy in Kazutora's part + some hurt/comfort, insomnia in Hanma's part, petnames (baby, granny lmao), super self-indulgend ngl, not proof read, lowkey sucks but oh well ☠️ ۶ৎ AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is inspired by me being sick some time ago and sulking in my bed. Also took me ages to finish this. ۶ৎ W/C: 3.3k+

۶ৎ Keisuke Baji: 

It’s the dead of the night, and you laid on your stomach, head  resting on the side while your arms were spread. Your husband, ever the considerate and loving man, sat next to you as his calloused hands kneaded your aching muscles. It’s been terrible the last few days since you’ve started sneezing and coughing. At first, you assumed it must have been some allergies, but the added fever, fatigue and muscle pain painted a clearer picture for you: You must have gotten the flu. 

So you took off a week from work to rot in the bed you shared with your husband, taking every disgusting tasting medication your doctor has recommended and falling asleep right after. While the other symptoms have gradually become better - thankfully, for you were going insane with your stuffy nose - your muscles wouldn’t stop hurting. The worst part, however, was that nothing seemed to help, no pain killers, no grain pillows, no overpriced could lessen the ache you felt in your tired muscles.

Thankfully, you happen to be married to the best man in the entire earth.

Keisuke has been so attentive ever since you’ve gotten sick. Despite his busy work schedule, he made sure you were taken care of, like making sure you’re taking your medicine in the morning and the evening, cooking you nutritious meals when he had the time for it and  most importantly, tending to your aching back. He did give the best backrubs of all time after all. 

So you waited impatiently for Keisuke to come back from the veterinary clinic he worked in to massage your muscles, occasionally dozing off continuing to take your meds with a sour face. 

The torturous wait came to an end as soon as you heard the heavy yet familiar footsteps of your husband nearing the bedroom. You stirred awake yet again from the shuffling noises in the background to see him sit down on your bed, skin clad in his casual pair of sweats and a white baggy shirt, holding a small bottle of massaging oil in his hand.

“Did I wake you up?” Keisuke asked, sitting down on the end of the bed, his heavy hand tenderly stroking your covered leg “Are you feeling better?”

You chuckled when you felt his loving touch “Wow, not even gonna greet your sick wife? How rude, Kei” You couldn’t see him well from the way you laid on your stomach, but you envisioned the ravenette rolling his eyes at you “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Mister Baji”

“How did you even know I was rolling my eyes at you?” your husband questioned as he moved to sit next to you, tugging the blanket and your - his - shirt away from his way “I just know you, Kei” you merrily replied, lightly shuddering when the cold oil made contact with your skin. His warm hand softly rubbed your back, spreading the massaging oil evenly “As you should. I’d be really pissed if my own wife didn’t know me and my antics” He muttered, digging his thumbs into your back muscles and rubbing them against your hurting muscles. 

“Kei, it hurts!” you groaned into the pillows, struggling under the strong palms of his hands “You’re being too rough”

“I know, I know baby, but you’ll feel much better” Keisuke spoke to you, his usual gruff tone softening for you “Jeez babe, your muscles are rock hard. You have the back of an old granny” Keisuke snickered, his touch becoming more gentle. He’d hate to seriously hurt you. 

“Keisuke I swear to God” you scoffed into the pillow, deciding to play along with his banter “I’m not an old granny and won’t become one anytime soon. You should be ashamed of bullying your sick wife”

“Hmmmm, nope, feelin’ no shame”  

Your pained whines and protest slowly but surely grew silent as your husband continued rubbing and kneading your sore muscles, easing the ache you’ve been feeling all day long. Stopping after a while, Keisuke plumped next to you. Your mattress dipped at his sudden shifting before you were pulled towards him, scooped up in his embrace. A small yelp escaped your lips as you were manhandled into a different position - a position more of keisuke’s liking. You were turned to lay on your side, your back snugly pressing against your husband’s front as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. 

“Kei! Geez, you will get sick if you get close to me like that”

Keisuke lets out a content sigh, his nose bumping against the tender skin of your neck “Oh shut. I’ve slept next to you for the whole week, I’ll be fine” He scoffed before he murmured into your neck “Besides, I’ve been looking forward to this all day long”

Heat crept up your face. You knew Keisuke can be affectionate - hell, you married this man, of course you knew he was affectionate towards you - yet the way it rolled off his tongue so sweetly made you feel as shy as when you had just started dating him. Loving him never gets old, you supposed. 

So you laid in the warm embrace of your husband, feeling the beat of his heart softly thudding against your back and the slight tickle of his calm breath against your neck. Comfortable silence engulfed you two, and before you knew it, you heard his snores from behind you. A tired smile crept up on your lips before you followed suit, falling asleep in the ravenette’s embrace. The pain faded, and all you could feel was Keisuke’s love and devotion to you. 

۶ৎ Shuji Hanma: 

A deep hum left Shuji’s lips as he made his way to your shared apartment. Work has been taxing for the last few weeks ever since one of his photo’s he did for a wedding blew up on the internet. While he enjoyed his work and the extra money flowing in, sitting in his office and editing his client’s pictures till the sun goes down was not a way the tall man enjoys spending his nights. During the day, the tall man would be driving from shoot to shoot, instructing models how to pose while taking numerous pictures and making calls and adding appointments to his agenda.  

Who knew following his passion would turn him into a relentless workaholic? 

Unlocking the door as quietly as he could, Shuji quietly walked through the darkness of his apartment to the bathroom. More like forcing himself to go take a shower before crawling under the blankets with you, for Shuji knew you would be more than displeased with him. As he’s letting the warm water hit his skin, the ravenette’s thoughts drifted to you.  He didn’t liked to admit it too often, but he missed you throughout the day - the way you’d scold him for ruining the freshly washed sheets with his ‘outside smell’, the way you would subconsciously scoot closer to him in your sleep, the way you are alway the first to wake up in the morning, the way you would have to convince him with kisses and promises of a hot cup of coffee waiting for him in the kitchen if he gets up. 

Man, you were just so good to him.

Shuji quickly dried himself off and changed into his pajama - the one you thoughtfully left on top of the washing machine so he wouldn’t have to disturb your sleep by rummaging through the drawers. Tired, but feeling more relaxed after taking his shower, he quietly walked towards your shared bedroom, careful not to bump into anything. You should be asleep already, softly snoring as you’d be lying on his side of the bed and hugging his pillow. At least, that would be how Shuji usually finds you whenever he comes home from work past midnight. He would usually gently push you to roll over to your side and carefully attempt to pry his pillow away from your death grip. Most of the time he gives up and resorts to sleeping with your pillow under his head, which he doesn’t mind. After all, the best way the lanky man falls asleep is being surrounded by your scent.

However, upon entering your shared bedroom, he finds you laying in bed, wide awake and diligently tapping away on your laptop. The lamp on the nightstand illuminated the bedroom, bathing you in a soft golden hue.

“Baby, why are you still awake?” Shuji asked as he approached you, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Upon coming closer to you, he noticed the dark circles under your eyes and the tired look in your face. Still so beautiful. 

“I wanna finish this chapter. I think I made the plot too complicated” You sighed as you averted your eyes from the bright screen to take a look at your equally tired boyfriend. 

“Besides, I gotta edit it too. I feel like my writing is inconsistent and lackluster” Despite his fatigue, a grin grew on his face. Oh you knew he was about to bully you. 

“Probably because you need to rest” Shuji snickered as he took the laptop from your lap “Can’t have your little brain burn out before you finish writing the epilogue” 

“But Shu, I need to finish this right now-” 

“This reminds me of the times you used to pull all nighters back in highschool to finish your assignments, but this time you’re doing it willingly” 

You scoffed, unable to find humor in your boyfriend’s attempts to tease you. Placing your hands on your laptop, you lightly pulled it closer to you as you muttered “Your comparison sucks, Shu. I’m writing because it’s my hobby, not a chore like the assignments used to be” The man could only shake his head, the light grin quickly turning into a scoff “You sure this isn’t a chore for you? Sure looks like you treat it like one”

Oh, he got you. You tried really hard to come up with a witty come back, something that would make him mind his own business. Unfortunately for you, your sleep deprived brain couldn’t argue with him. Against your ego, you had to bite the bullet. 

The grip on your laptop loosened. The truth was that you were dying to fall back into your mattress and  get the rest you desperately needed, but the need to be finished with your herculean task overthrew your basic human want. 

Seeing as you weren’t budging, Shuji gently attempted to take your laptop away; this time placing the device on his own lap before suggesting “You lay back. I’ll read what you have written so far”  

“Shu, it’s fine-”

“Do what I say, doll” He cut you off without sparing you a glance. Instead, he got comfortable in your shared bed and began to silently read your writing “You made some spelling mistakes. And I don’t understand why you’d word this sentence like that” The ravenette pointed his index finger at the bright screen, showing you the sentence he meant “But honestly? Not too shabby. The pacing is nice and most importantly, the plot isn’t boring” 

You weren’t sure if you were hearing things right. Since when did he know anything about literature? 

Shuji snickered as he watched you squinting at him “What? Didn’t like what I said?”

You could only huff, watching him turn off your laptop and placing it on his nightstand  - right next to the now cold cup of coffee he didn’t get to finish in the morning “Are you sure you’re actually my boyfriend? Are you actually my Shu?” You looked him up and down “My boyfriend doesn’t know that much about writing”

The man next to you pulled the blanket over his body as he laid down. Turning his face to you, he smugly replied “You’re acting like I’m uncultured”

“You aren’t?” 

Your boyfriend pulled you closer to him, encasing you in his warmth. Shuji bumped his nose against yours “True. Guess you rubbed off on me” He muttered tiredly “Now close your eyes. You gotta finish that chapter tomorrow for me”

۶ৎ Kazutora Hanemiya:

Dread filled you as you looked down on your hands, watching as one line immediately appeared on the test. Truth be told, this wasnät your idea. Catching up with your friend Emma in a cafe near your workplace turned into you ranting about your fatigue and nausea pretty quickly as soon as Emma noticed the tired look in your eyes. 

“It’s probably the stress from work”, you tried justifying, explaining the big projects you were working on for the last few weeks. Conveniently, you left out that even though work has been taxing, you were still able to get a full night of sleep every time you came home from your office, and that you had enough time to spend with your boyfriend outside of work. 

Emma would only shake her head at you “You know, I thought it was just stress and lack of sleep too, but it wasn’t” she’d rub her visibly pregnant belly as she recalled the symptoms she’s experienced before she found out she was expecting. 

Emma successfully planted the seed of doubt in your mind without even realizing. 

You tried rationalizing feeling fatigued and nauseous for a while, thinking that upon the completion of your projects your symptoms would disappear. But, oh, how wrong you were. Each passing day became harder for you, as tiredness became a looming presence throughout your everyday life. Barely being able to keep your eyes open and containing your breakfast in your stomach, you grew anxious of the prophetic words Emma told you weeks ago. Out of desperation, you looked up pregnancy symptoms to calm your raging nerves down. Fatigue? Check. Nausea? Check. Morning sickness? Check. Mood swings? Check. Missed period? Check. 

You knew you wouldn’t have to continue reading, but you foolishly held onto the hope that there would be at least one big symptom that would contradict your fears. Defeated, you put your phone down on your coffee table. Scrolling through a seemingly endless list of possible pregnancy symptoms drained you, but the uncertainty ate you alive. so you mustered up all of your strength and courage to walk into the closest pharmacy and get a pregnancy test. To calm my nerves, you’d think as you picked up whichever pregnancy test the pharmacist advised you to buy. 

This leads you to where you are currently. The results took an agonizingly long amount of time, and you started to overthink again. Truth be told, while you weren’t planning on it anytime soon, you assumed it would happen one day. The main reason you felt so anxious was your boyfriend’s reaction to you possibly being pregnant. You weren’t even sure if Kazutora, your beloved boyfriend, even wanted to have children of his own. The conversation about settling down with kids just never seemed to pop up in any past conversations you had with him. You didn’t have a lot to go off on; all you really knew was that while Kazutora was good with kids, he still had issues he needed to work through. 

What would he say? Would he be angry? Happy? Would he leave? Your stomach churned as the thoughts flooded your mind. Your eyes were focused on the pregnancy test in your hands, however you didn’t pay attention to it. 

Your trance- like state was interrupted by a loud knock on your bathroom door “Hey, you ok in there?” Kazutora’s muffled voice, filled with worry, came from the other side of the door. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard his voice, not expecting him to come home so soon. Clumsily, you stood up a little too quickly and rushed to open the door for him, leaving the pregnancy test on the sink. You swung the door open, coming face to face with the man you loved most. His loving face was scrunched with worry, eyebrows knitted as he took your panicked state in “Hey, baby. Didn’t think I’d see you home so early. How was work?”

“Was alright. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up the phone, so I came home to check on you” Kazutora replied, his gaze still fixed on your tired looking face “You look awful. Maybe we should go and get you checked up” 

You shock your head vehemently “No! No, there’s no need for that. Trust me, I’m healthy” Placing your hands on his face. The warmth of his skin brought you comfort, calming you down a bit before you continued “Trust me, I am fine” 

Your boyfriend narrowed his eyes at you “Babe, no. This is getting out of hand, you need to see a doctor” He huffed, walking past you to get to the bathroom “Get dressed, I’ll drive you there” Kazutora walked towards the sink. Cold sweat coated your skin as you watched him reach the sink and turn on the faucet. This was it, the point of no return. You knew he would see the pregnancy test, and he’d be the first to see results - even before you yourself could see it for yourself. You began mentally cursing yourself; for not looking at the test before you rushed to open the door for him, for not hiding the test, for not being careful enough. Bracing yourself for his reaction, you watched his movements stutter. The water running from the faucet splashed in the background, hitting the stone material of the sink harshly, was the only noise drowning out the deafening silence between you and Kazutora. 

“Baby, is this what I think it is?” Kazutora silently asked, his voice unsteady and quiet. You almost wouldn’t have caught his question if you weren’t hyper fixated on him. You couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad sign, hell you weren’t even sure what the results were in the first place. Coming to the realization that you needed to be truthful, you sighed and started to explain “I haven’t seen the results yet. I’ve been feeling” You paused, sighing, before continuing “I haven’t been feeling myself for some time now” 

“I understand” Kazutora turned the faucet off, the splashing of water suddenly coming to a stop before he turned around to see you. 

A soft smile graced his features, the same one that made you fall head over heels for him all those years ago. Just like the sun hitting ice, his relaxed, loving expression was enough to melt your worries away “So? You wanna know the results?” You nodded eagerly, expecting to be given the pregnancy test from your lover. He handed you the test, his touch lingering. Kazutora intently watched your face as you looked down to see the pregnancy test in your hand. 

Two lines. Positive. 

A gasp left your lips, hands flying to clasp over your mouth to contain your bubbling emotions. Your gaze switches between the positive test and Kazutora. The realization that you are very much pregnant hits you hard, but the realization that you worried about him not taking the news well for nothing knocked you off your feet. 

Happy tears welled up in your eyes and soft sobs escaped through your lips. Closing the distance between you and him, the ravenette gently held your waist with one hand and cupped your cheek with the other one. His calloused thumb swiped over your soft skin, wiping away the small droplets of tears escaping your eyes “I’m so bad with words, but baby I need you to know how happy you make me. From the moment we have met, to the day you’ve agreed to date me. But today, you’ve made me by far the happiest I have ever been” 

You choked up when you saw his golden eyes become glassy, feeling his usually steady hand shake with every word he speaks to you. Your hands moved away from your mouth, cradling your lover’s face instead. Lovingly, you gazed into each others’ eyes as you stood in your small bathroom, feeling the butterflies flutter in your stomach while Kazutora’s hand moved to place itself over your tummy - holding the two most precious people in his life. 

[noxiousgrace]

YES YOU'RE SO RIGHT

You have no idea how many times I've imagined krs to that song 😭

I THINK IT'S FAIR TO ALSO SHARE HOW I CONNECT KRS TO THIS SONG HEHEHEHE(I'm sobbing on the inside)

SPOILERS AHEAD

---

"Watch that old fire as it flickers and dies,

That once blessed the household and lit up our lives.

It shone for the friends and the clinking of glasses.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

This verse reminds me of the cataclysm in Korea and the 20 year old war in krs' and og!cales world respectively. (We still don't have a name for that planet 😭 it's literally nameless 1)

But it can also be correlated to kim rok soos curse, any warmth in his life has been put out by tragedy after tragedy.

Og!cale was also unfortunate enough to be the last one standing. The survivors guilt with these two goes absolutely insane 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

----

"Capture the wild things and bring them in line

And own what was never your right to confine.

The lives and the loves and the songs are what matters.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I feel like the first 2 lines here could be words meant for the white star, and his holy fucking crusade into ruining the entire world .

And the 3rd line is krs AND cale stating their beliefs. Krs always insists on the fact that staying alive is best and og!cale values the love he has for his family, both of them would do anything for life and love respectively. (Honestly krs would go far for love too, but he hasn't been able to hold onto it long enough, to be confident that he could put everything on the line for it. Until he transmigrated of course, now he has hope that he can hang onto it so it's more on the forefront)

----

"Do you feel heavy? Your eyes drop with grief.

Your spirit is wild and your suffering is brief.

So never you buckle and bend to the masses.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

To be honest, I've always connected this verse to raon. Especially how KRS perceives him, going back to the time he first saved raon: The dragon had been tortured for 4 years, and ready to kill himself in order to escape just a few days after krs saved him. contrary to how he (krs) gave up when he was being abused, the little dragon still had fire in his eyes, which was a relief to krs. (Sobbing, every time we get snippets of his previous life i die inside, i love this poor bastard so much)

The third line could corrolate to krs!cale nurturing every child that he adopts. He taught raon to be a DRAGON, he helped lock become the WOLF KING, etc. etc.

And the last line is his continued self sacrifice (when you said it fits that this line is after every verse, YOU WERE SO FUCKING RIGHT 😭)

---

"Get round the fire with a glass of strong ale

And tell us a story from beyond the pale.

Bury some seeds and expect some strong branches.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

Okay so i had to look up what beyond the pale means, and it basically means something unacceptable.

The first two could be cale and krs bottling up their trauma. Krs didn't open up until he met lsh and cjs,(i think? Because choi jung soo knew that krs lost everything when his memories were being transferred to choi han) and they probably had to literally sit around a fire since korea was pretty much flattened to the ground, except for a few safe zones,after the cataclysm

As for og!cale, he could've sat with the rest of the soldiers before the battle. He opened up to krs as well which i thought was nice (even if it was partially out of necessity)

The third line is cale picking up munchkins on the way to his slacker life LMAO he's gonna have an empire before he gets to rest istg 😭

-----

"Now show me a man that can meet all his needs,

For what we need most now is unity's seed:

A common old song for all creeds and all classes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I feel like this verse fits a lot more if you look at it in a different light, i interpret the first line as a rhetorical question, "show me a man that can meet all his needs, go on, you can't" because nobody can fully sustain themselves without the other

And this makes the line apply to everyone in tcf that much more, nobody we've seen so far has been able to survive and accomplish things all on their own. Even in a collapsed society, which krs had to live in for 16 years, everyone was still grasping at the people around them to ensure their survival. While krs is independent, he would've truly burned himself to ashes if he didn't have anybody who even slightly cared about him along the way. His emotional independence is such a facade, he's so weak to affection it hurts me 😭😭😭 he's been deprived of so much, i wanna cry

The second and third line also corrolate to the collapsing worlds krs and og!cale had to live in. Unity was desperately needed against the monsters in korea, and the white star.

Survival is the common old song the third line is talking about, if TCF is the context we're seeing it in 😭

And again, the last line of the verse, their self sacrifice continues

---

"I'll tend to the flame..."

Krs and cale both maintaining their determination for a better future

-----

"What will we do when the world it is ending,

And time it is halted for friend and for foe?

Try to hold on to the time as it passes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I don't have a very deep analasys for this verse specifically, but both krs and cale have tasted the end of the world. Unlike cale, krs has another chance to save everything from ruin. (But, in all fairness, he never had a chance to save korea.)

Them trying to hold on to the time as it passes can be interpreted as them doing their absolute best to preserve the different parts of their lives that keep them sane 😭

Aaand the self sacrifice continues with the last lines.

----

That was my analasys of the connection between ashes and TCF, thank you for coming 🤝🤍

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - it will come back

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - through me (the flood)

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - nobodys soldier

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - All Things End

Kim rok soo is so The longest Johns - Ashes

Kim rok soo is so Frank sinatra - My way

Kim rok soo is so Ado - readymade (english cover by trickle)

Kim rok soo is so Radiohead - just

Kim rok soo is so Depeche mode - Enjoy the silence

Guys i think about Kim rok soo often

Idk if you can tell

[ninjasmudge]

red flags! 🚩🚩

this goat design belongs to @revenhaunted bc she made her goat so fun and a little nuts and im obsessed. weve talked abt them a lot and this song fits their vibes SO well

[micamicster]

Super Rich Kids

Close my eyes and feel the crash...

I wrote this one on post-its on a trans-continental flight after my phone (where i was re-reading the raven cycle) died. 0/10 plane experience would not recommend but I did manage to entertain myself! And now hopefully you as well!

When Ronan pulled into Monmouth Manufacturing he knew Gansey wouldn’t be there. Adam Parrish was, though, sitting on the steps in the golden afternoon light, bike dumped to the side in dying grass. He didn’t so much as flicker an eyelid when Ronan bootlegged the BMW into an approximation of parking on the far side of the lot, which was fine because that’s how he would have parked the car anyway, whether or not Adam was here.

Ronan was pretty sure that Gansey had arranged a shift system with the other boys, to prevent Ronan from being unaccompanied on the rare occasions of his own absence. The idea of a babysitter should have rankled Ronan, but Adam did not seem particularly invested in his role. Small favors.

As he got out of the car he gave Adam his customary once-over, as brief as it was habitual. You could notice a lot in a single glance, if you were Ronan, glancing at Adam.

Adam was wearing long sleeves (his father? Or just because it was October?) and his faded camo pants, the ones Ronan said made him look like a jingoistic meathead. They had recently acquired a tear in one knee. Not in the stylish, deliberate manner in which Ronan’s own jeans were shredded, but awkwardly, in an L-shape, where they had caught on some jagged edge and given way before even careful Adam had noticed and unhooked himself. The tear gaped open at times, like it was doing now, revealing Adam’s knobby left knee and, worse, a triangle of his brown thigh.

Ronan looked away.

Ronan never allowed himself, even in dreams, to trespass beyond the carefully demarcated boundaries of Adam’s clothes. And Adam was usually helpful in the maintenance of this boundary. Unlike Gansey, who could be found working on his model Henrietta in boxers at all hours of the night, or wandering to and from the shower in a towel, absent-mindedly forgetting his clothes in bathroom or bedroom. Unlike the boys Ronan played tennis with, who stripped down casually in the locker room after practice. Unlike even Ronan himself, who’d never met a shirt he couldn’t rip the sleeves off; Adam was always fully covered.

This summer, foolishly, Ronan had imagined that this might change. Now that the hideous secrets Adam protected with his long sleeves were no longer his alone. But by now he knew what kept those sleeves in place, something that Adam had already understood: that knowing and seeing are two very different things.

For example: this. Ronan knew that Adam, like most people who walked around on earth under their own power, possessed thighs. Two of them, attached in the normal way to other body parts, such as knees and hips. To know this was one thing.

Now that he’d seen it, he couldn’t stop seeing it. The way his knee bent, and the muscle above shifted as Adam made room on the steps for him. Ronan was looking away, out at the familiar, grounding, skid marks on the concrete of Monmouth’s lot, but he could picture in their place with deadly accuracy the hinge of Adam’s knee, the tanned skin of his thigh, scattered with golden-brown hair. He could dream about pressing his face against it.

He picked up a rock and hurled it. It glanced off the side of the soulless suburban and fell anticlimactically into the grass dying by the rear tire. It didn’t help.

Adam shifted next to him, subtly.

“What?” said Ronan. “Impressed?”

“Surprised, more like. I thought you were supposed to be the tennis star.”

“You think you can do better?” Ronan pried another hunk of gravel or concrete out of the dirt and tossed it in his left hand, tauntingly.

“I know I can.”

“But?”

“But,” said Adam, with some hint of exasperation coloring his voice, “I’m not going to sit here chunking rocks at Gansey’s car to prove it. My ego’s not that fragile.” His accent slipped out on chunkin’, not as if Ronan had pissed him off enough to forget to hide it, but as if it was a word he’d never used any other way.

Ronan threw his rock again. This was, if anything, a worse throw than before, and it skittered harmlessly across the suburban’s roof.

Adam made a small but contemptuous noise.

“Don’t give me that shit, man. You know he hates this fucking car.”

“That was for your shitty aim.”

“Come on then.” Ronan hefted another piece of gravel. “Ten points if you knock out his taillight.”

“It costs a hundred and five dollars to replace a taillight on that make and model. Plus tax.”

Ronan’s brief cheer was collapsing again. “I’ll pay you a hundred bucks to bust Dick’s lights.”

Adam blinked slowly, his dusty eyelashes obscuring the contempt in his eyes for a brief moment. “I’ll leave.” (He wouldn’t).

Ronan dropped the rock. Next to him Adam sighed. Abruptly, he put out his hand. “Telephone pole. Six feet from the top.”

Ronan swept back up the rock and dropped it into his hand. Their fingers did not touch. His heart thudded.

Adam tossed the rock once, testing its weight while his gaze, cool and assessing, remained on the telephone pole. It was a splintered, tilting thing, shamed by his attentions. In one smooth, economical movement, he rose to his feet and let the rock fly. His leg went forward, knee jutting out of his clothes, his back curved, and his arm swept around in an arc, fingers scraping at the blue October sky. Ronan didn’t need to turn his head to know if the rock hit—he could see it in the brief hard satisfaction on Adam’s face.

Adam turned back to him, one eyebrow cocked.

“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to earn that hundred,”

Adam shrugged. The gesture was disinterested, but there was a quirk to his mouth that contradicted it. “I know nothing blew up, but…”

Ronan already had another rock in his hand. “West corner lightbulb. It breaks or it doesn’t count.” Adam rolled his eyes, but turned agreeably to watch Ronan miss.

“Would you like to get your tennis racket?”

“Eat me,” said Ronan. (Maybe).

They traded shots back and forth for a while, calling increasingly specific and complex plays.

“Bullshit. Bullshit.”

“Get the government to pay for some glasses, Parrish, and then come back and try to tell me that wasn’t a fucking bullseye—”

“It wasn’t even close! You—”

“You calling me a liar?” Ronan loomed, and Adam, as usual, was unimpressed.

“Just because you don’t lie doesn’t make you right all the time! Like when you said that quote on Tuesday was Seneca. It doesn’t stop being Martial just because you’ve got a child’s sense of morality—”

“See, right there.” Ronan pointed triumphantly at an invisible scuff mark on the doorsill, marking where his handful of gravel had made impact.

Adam gave it a skeptical glance. His face was faintly flushed from exertion in the cold air, but his eyes were as cool and considering as ever. “What we need,” he said, “is a knife.”

Ronan was not allowed knives.

~

“Are you trying to stab each other in the feet? Why are your shoes off! It’s October!”

“Equal playing field.” Ronan wiggled his toes against the cold asphalt. “Parrish’s shitty knife is no match for my boots.” Over Gansey’s head, Ronan tried to catch Adam’s eye, to share a ‘can you believe him’ sort of look. Adam’s embarrassment over being caught acting irresponsibly meant Ronan could expect the look to be rebuffed, but he couldn’t help himself from trying it anyway.

Adam was bent over, eyes hidden. He carefully dusted off his socked feet one at a time before sliding them back into his shoes, as though the socks or sneakers could look any worse. A little parking lot crud might improve their appearance, actually.

Next to him, Gansey was still fussing. Without the pressure release valve of eye contact with someone who knew Gansey was overreacting, Ronan snapped, “Come off it, man, I’m not going to slit my throat while Parrish watches. He can’t afford that caliber of snuff film.”

Gansey’s concern transformed into revulsion, but underneath it he looked hurt, which was far far worse.

Adam straightened up. “We were just using it to mark where we hit. Honestly, we could have done it tossing a sharpie, but neither of us had one.” He sounded conciliatory, which pissed Ronan off. But Gansey was letting it go, returning the knife to Adam with an apologetic smile. Sorry for the fuss. Sorry for Ronan. Ronan’s bare feet were cold against the asphalt.

“Well? Are you going to throw or not, Parrish?” he said belligerently.

Adam rolled his eyes, but obligingly stooped for gravel and let one fly at Ronan’s open bedroom window, a shot he made easily.

Gansey whistled. “You’ve got quite the arm on you. How come you’re not on the Algionby baseball team?”

Adam shifted his feet, awkwardly.

“Please,” scoffed Ronan, “he’s not a team player.”

Gansey did not let it go. “Bet you’d have a better fastball than both our pitchers.”

There was a pause, during which Adam’s face clearly showed all of the thoughts he was trying to corral into a polite response to Gansey’s unconsidered enthusiasm. Ronan got there first. “Yeah, Parrish, why not hitch your wagon to the star of organized sports, like every other rags to riches wannabe?”

“Ronan!” said Gansey, Ronan’s offensiveness registering where his own had not.

“Hitch my wagon to a star?” Adam was unruffled. “I thought quoting Transcendentalists could get you excommunicated.”

“Who said I know it’s Emerson. It’s a sourceless idiom to those of us who aren’t sad little nerds.”

Adam smirked. The smirk said, I never said Emerson. His words said, “Gansey’s damning me with faint praise. No one’s going pro out of an Algionby sport team. Even tennis.”

“Ouch,” said Ronan, cheerfully. “Hit me where it really hurts. My school pride.”

~

Now that Gansey had arrived, his plans for the day took precedence over noble pastimes such as flipping pocketknives at each other’s feet. His plans involved comparing readings from various instruments and then placing said various instruments in various new locations, all of which were equally arbitrary (to Ronan’s eyes) and inaccessible. Gansey’s plans involved him waiting by the car to monitor the readings while people hiked with antennae to the outermost reaches of the signal. People, in this instance, being Ronan and Adam, Noah having mysteriously and silently fucked off, as he so often did when a job required carrying anything.

Ronan put his head down and trudged. It was brambly here, and slightly damp, and he was beginning to work up the kind of counter-intuitive sweat that appears from working in the cold, the kind that makes you colder later.

As the person leading the hike, custom would dictate that he should catch and hold the long clinging arms of the brambles for the following hiker. This presented a dilemma. Ronan compromised, and set about stomping the multiflora into the ground as he walked. Scarlet hips burst under his feet, invasive and beautiful, spreading their millions of seeds across the damp earth. Noxious weeds.

“It’s too unreliable,” said Adam, into the silence. “Sports. It all depends on… your physical condition.”

“And your condition is shit.”

There was Adam’s ironic smile. “Yes. So.” He shrugged. There was the part they weren’t saying, which was that his physical condition could always get worse. Unexpectedly.

“My dad hates baseball.” Ronan heard himself make the slip—hates and not hated—and a spark of fury burned through him, brief and inconsequential.

“My dad loves it.”

They marched on in silence.

Adam swore as a bramble Ronan had beaten down sprang up again, catching him right across the tear, where his skin was exposed. He bent to unhook it from the camo with deft, deliberate hands. “What?” he said, like he could feel Ronan’s eyes.

Ronan looked away. “Why not the military?” He kicked purposelessly at the bramble and heard Adam sigh. “And don’t tell me you never thought about it. Test scores like yours out in hicksville high school, you must have had recruiters hopping all over you like fleas.”

“Would you believe I had a moral objection?” Adam’s smile was self-deprecating. Ronan studied it.

“No.”

Adam shrugged. It, too, was self-deprecating.

“I think you had a superiority objection. You think you’re too smart for that shit.”

Adam blinked at him. “Do you think I’m wrong?”

Ronan snorted. “Hell no. You can do better than getting blown up in a desert for the United States government.”

The smile, when it came, was small and stunning. “Damned by faint praise again.”

[tetzoro]

good morning & happy friday friendz (ㅅ´ ˘ `) we have made it to the end of the week !! i hope you all have a wonderful day and an amazing start to your weekend !! friendly lil reminders : ෆ drink water ! unclench your jaws ! blow a kiss to the sky ! be gentle with yourself ! ෆ

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[dickgreyson]

one of my essays from back when i studied philosophy is being put into a good answers guide at my university<3 not one of my good ones but

[hopecomesbacktolife]

thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

So about the season 4 finale shenanigans, where rg and the cast had no idea it was coming, so the rest of the cast was texting rg like “ARE YOU LEAVING THE SHOW???” and he was going “NO, IDK WHAT’S GOING ON EITHER!!!” and him texting Tim asking if he was being fired. And then we got Tim saying that Eddie was too pretty to die. I just told my homophobic mother all of this. Her response? She asked me if Tim was gay😭😭

[ask-the-invincible-crew]

well. mistledrone rules still apply. they kiss.

[anichibicore]

unfading sin

[easyaesthetics]

Imitates human behaviors to an uncanny degree, Akira remembers from the lab notes. Mimic skill on par with any natural predator that imitates another animal to lure in prey.

Scene from the amazing mermaid fic, I like to think I’m a good person by @relationshipcrimes (READ THE TAGS BEFORE BEGINNING)

[kgerbertt]

kaiagerber: mood.

[mosspapi]

Semi-related but not really. Why the fuck was my heartrate 163 at 9:30 this morning. I hadn't even left the house yet and I'd only been out of bed for like. 10 minutes max.

[crazys-art]

day 1 of martch - self portrait!

[crmsndragonwngss]

By Blood and Iron

(2007 - 2010)

Alright guys, as some of you may or may not know, By Blood and Iron does not play shows anymore. We all agreed back in the summer of 2009 to chill out and do our own things for awhile. We were all too busy to carry on with this band right now. Whether we do anything again in the future is undecided, i guess we'll just have to wait around and see how things play out.

As for our music, you can download it here 

If we haven't been responding to your messages and comments, we apologize, it is because none of us hardly check this myspace anymore. If you want to hear new music from us, then you can check out me and Alex's new band, Erra. Also Chop's band Only In Somnolence. You can find us on the top friends of this page.

(via last.fm, from MySpace)

Demo 08:

Demo 09:

Thanks again, anon, for bringing this to my attention!