#this has been the bread and butter of how they work in the whole novel

[sunflowercider]

"This will not do." Javier's voice dripped with alarm. "What won't?" "You are making a bad decision here. It's not too late now. Prepare yourself, Master Lloyd." "For what?" Meanwhile, Lloyd's voice was cheery. "To run away. I will buy you some time." "You plan on fighting that dragon?" "Yes." "Tsk. Don't even try." "But Master Lloyd. Now is your last chance-" "Do I look like I've gone mad?" said Lloyd. "..." "Answer me. Do I look like someone who's lost his mind?" Javier was about to answer yes when Lloyd spoke first. "Who was it that said he would trust in my seemingly deranged behavior?" "..." "You said that," reminded Lloyd. "Those were your words. It goes the same right now. Do I look like I've lost it? In that case, trust me." "But Master Lloyd-" "I'm doing this for a reason." Lloyd didn't let Javier finish. "I've got a plan. So, do what you have to do when I fail. Got it?"

okay 1) poor javier lmao hes just trying so hard to get lloyd to safety but 2) i love this because i feel like I havent seen an explicit "trust me" from these two before. especially with the vibes that lloyd has a plan that he knows will work but completely expects javier to have his back as a backup <3

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[dduane]

hello, hope you and Peter are doing well! I wanted to ask a question that almost certainly has been asked before: How do you go about ensuring that a creative project is sustainable/has 'wings' before diving into it? (I'm thinking less of outlining here and more the step before that - assessing how much meat's on the creative bone and what your appetite is, so to speak)

Well, the first thing I'd have to define is what exactly "sustainable" means. "Capable of being started and finished in some medium or other"? That might enter into the equation eventually... but not instantaneously.

There'll be times when a concept arrives in my creative space within a matter of seconds—like someone poured it into my head out of a jug—or times when it seeps in quietly over a matter of days, until eventually some critical number or volume is surpassed and there's enough of it to register as Something New To Do That Could Be Fun*. In either case I normally have at least a few minutes to work out whether anybody but me is ever likely to want to read or view this thing, and (if so) what medium it seems to belong in.

This process I usually refer to as "weighing [something] in the hand of the mind." And here you can insert video of an insert on a woman's hand holding a half kilo bag of sugar, bouncing it up and down a little to see if it's really half a kilo, or just kinda feels like it.

What I have to confess here, though, is that I have no idea how I do this, or from what my skill at the process derives.

Maybe just a lot of practice? Trial and error? As over forty years there've been more than fifty books, and a whole lot of animation, and a bunch of screenplays, not to mention the comics and computer games and audio adaptations and other whatnot. I've had a while to learn when a story will make an okay screenplay but not necessarily a book (or vice versa); or whether something's better as a novella or novelette, rather than as a novel based on a core concept that, like butter over too much bread, is going to wind up looking and feeling like what Bilbo would have described as "thin and stretched".

I really wish I could more clearly quantify the elements that make up one of these assessments. Every piece of work I embark on goes through one. Some attention's paid to the number of characters, the depth of the emotional interactions, the proposed in-story timeline, and the relative size and weight of the plot's payoff... and how all these balance against one another. But once this evaluation has been made, it's then possible to slot the project into the work schedule—and pray that nothing else interferes with it.

Because of course something may. The most severe form of these idea-arrival events doesn't give you a chance to evaluate anything at all. It just grabs you by the scruff of the neck and dumps you in front of the nearest device or material that can be used for writing and says, in a voice that will brook no dissent, "HI THERE YOU'RE WRITING THIS NOW AND IT WILL BE FUN!" (It'll say this even though that may not, strictly speaking, be true.) I thank great Thoth that this isn't that common an occurrence, because it tends to play merry hell with everything you're supposed to be doing during that period. ...Yet the effects can be good. The Door Into Fire did this to me. So have other projects I can't discuss due to NDAs.

Possibly the best note to wind up on here is that Sturgeon's Law applies. If 90% of all sf/fantasy stories are crap, as Ted said, then so are 90% of all their core ideas. (Or so it seems to me.) Any writer who's been doing this work for any length of time will have many, many story ideas in a given day... and know that only a small percentage of them are worth considering for more than a few minutes, or even seconds. Ideas are easy. It's execution that's hard— that costs you weeks and months and sometimes years of effort and sweat; of taking things apart and putting them back together in different shapes and hunting down just the right word.

If you're embarking on this kind of lifestyle: may luck go with you. (Because sometimes even very good work falls afoul of very bad luck.) ...But keep your hopes up: and keep working.

HTH!

*There are other forms of this surprise attack, including the one @petermorwood went through one time that was triggered by a chance line dropped by a studio executive we were having lunch with in the Paramount commissary. Without warning—and after the fact he was as surprised as everybody else—P. commenced to freestyle a series pitch so good that the lunch went on for three hours while it unfolded. Tl:dr; the series got bought and then ran aground on the financial rocks secondary to 9/11. ...But that's a saga for another day.

[cinemadaydreams]

A Monster of a Tale

In 1999 there was a movie that captured the balance between borrowing from another older story while also capturing an original idea within its own movie. The movie was Galaxy Quest, a loving parody of the hit Star Trek series but also contained in the film an incredible idea - 'what if the show was seen by an alien race as real? What followed is what I believe is one of the better modern comedies and reimaginations of an old idea.

With Bomani J. Story's film The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster, I could not help to think - this is exactly what Galaxy Quest did. How Story executed this film should be seen as an example of how to bring new life into an industry that seems to be more interested to be, as Bilbo Baggins would put it, "butter scraped over too much bread". Let's face it, so many of the films marketed to us as the audience are breathtaking visually but leave you for want of air on the gut-level of quality storytelling. Story's movie is a fresh breath of cinema.

First, how he incorporated the Frankenstein novel is as sharp as a tack - and I don't mean the movies, if you've read the original 1818 novel, you'll see the difference - and does not hold back from the incredible weight of tragedy that saturates the gothic novel. This is the story that has inspired other fantastic cautionary tales in the science fiction universe - from Jurassic Park to Terminator. Story's astute use of Shelley's themes, ideas and story arc is a sight to behold, particularly for a film at this budget.

The second point I want to give is how well the dynamic works within the family onscreen. With dialogue that is smart and well-paced, it would have been easy to fall into the trap of making a movie about 'ideas' rather than an 'experience' (something I often gripe about with friends about modern movies - it's a movie we're watching after all, not an op-ed newspaper piece). Story does well to avoid this, making this story about family and then weaving themes within the family and local community experience. With the genre in the wheelhouse of tragedy, Story spares no emotional expense at reminding you as the viewer, with brutal and at times grisly violence to prove a thematic point - death spares no one, not even those we love most. Mary Shelley knew it well in 1818 with a life lived that seemed even more dramatic and tragic than her novel, and Story tapped into that in a way I can only describe as a palpable 'mood' whose residue lingers like a cold biting wind on an autumn's night. When I watch this film again, I plan on making it a fall tradition for anyone willing to watch.

I'll wrap this review with this one thought - I hope big studio executives and heavy weights watch this film, and not just for the sake of supporting independent cinema in theaters. Hollywood is in desperate need of bigger films taking emotional risks, not simply visual ones. It's been a long time since I've seen a film like The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster where the writer/director is able to balance an old idea and firmly place it in a context where it comes to life in a whole new way. And unlike Frankenstein's monster, it does not seem sewn together in pieces. This is a tale whose director knows the true depth of a story and its timeless relevance and makes it a living breathing thing that is whole and well-made. How fitting, considering this guy's last name. I can't wait to see what he does next.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 21 of 26

Title: The Galaxy, and the Ground Within (Wayfarers #4) (2021)

Author: Becky Chambers

Genre/Tags: Science Fiction, Third-Person, Female Protagonists

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 8/15/2021

Date Finished: 8/22/2021

Gora is an unremarkable planet. It has no natural life and few resources to speak of. In fact, its only use is its proximity to more interesting places. Over the years, it’s become a waystation, notable only as a temporary stop for travelers as they wait for their spot in the wormhole queue. 

The Five-Hop One-Stop is a small, family-owned rest stop on Gora. Three travelers— a marginalized nomad, a military contractor, and an exiled artist-- lay over at the Five-Hop awaiting the next stage of their journeys. But everything goes horribly wrong when repair work on an orbital satellite causes a cascade event, destroying the planet’s communications. Now stranded on Gora with debris raining down from the sky, the travelers and hosts must live with each other while cut off from the rest of the galaxy. As they learn more about one another, each is forced to confront their personal struggles… and challenge their perspective on life.

Speaker had a word for how she felt right then: errekere. A moment of vulnerable understanding between strangers. It did not translate into Klip, but it was a feeling she knew well from gatherings among her people. There was no need being expressed here, no barter or haggling or problems that required the assistance of a Speaker, but errekere was what she felt all the same. She’d never felt it with an alien before. She embraced the new experience.

Content warnings and spoilers below the cut.  

Content warnings for the book: Non-graphic sexual content, child endangerment, ableism (if you squint; it’s not malicious), references to warfare, discussions of intergenerational trauma re: colonization (not the scifi kind), prejudice and xenophobia, recreational drug use. 

I’ve had a mixed experience with Wayfarers, which is unusual for me. I can’t remember the last series I read that fluctuated so much in terms of personal enjoyment and (in my opinion) quality. People as a whole seem to enjoy this series more than me, hence the multitude of awards and glowing reviews. I liked book two, A Closed and Common Orbit, because of the focused narrative and dedicated development of two lead characters. But the first and third books suffered from an overly large cast and reliance on generic archetypes. When a series is built on character development and plot is a secondary concern at best, those characters have to be outstanding. And to me, they usually weren’t.

But in this fourth and final book, I felt that Chambers finally hit her stride. On a surface level, The Galaxy, and the Ground Within has striking similarity to book three, Record of a Spaceborn Few. Both are virtually plotless novels which do deep dives into a cast of characters. What sets The Galaxy apart is its execution. All three leads have unique and compelling personal conflicts. An underutilized strength of the series is its creative aliens; something Chambers takes advantage of here with a fully alien cast. Finally, this book hinges upon interaction between the three leads, something sorely missing from the previous book. 

In these reviews I often seem critical of ensemble casts. But when done well, I actually prefer them to singular narratives. The main hurdle is having consistently interesting characters across the board. When there’s one or two characters I prefer over the others, I usually struggle with the novel. There’s an inherent sense of disappointment when leaving a favored character’s POV. For me this affects my overall enjoyment of the story. But when I like all of the characters or they all have something interesting going on, ensemble casts are great. The Galaxy, and the Ground Within is successful in this regard because I thoroughly enjoyed all three perspective characters. In no particular order…

Speaker is an Akarak, a birdlike scavenger species introduced as sympathetic antagonists in the first book. Going in, we know their home planet was colonized by the Harmagians, which has caused irreparable harm to their culture. Robbed of their homeworld and forced into the margins of GC society, the Akarak are nomadic, and many of them rely on banditry in order to survive. We have seen very little of them besides that. The Galaxy expands their lore a lot; their short lifespans, their incompatible biology with other sapients, and the resulting generational trauma from centuries of colonial exploitation. Speaker’s arc in particular is about dealing with the prejudice she encounters daily, adjusting to acceptance after being othered for so long, seeing things from a new perspective, and persistent worry for her twin sister Tracker, who she’s been separated from due to the events on Gora. 

The Aeluon Pei is actually a recurring character; she’s Ashby’s love interest from the first book. Here we get a more intimate view of her as a person. In particular, she struggles with living a double life. She works a prestigious yet dangerous job among her people, running cargo into critical warzones. But her affair with Ashby (a Human) is a huge cultural taboo among the Aeluons. If her colleagues discovered her romantic relationship, her life as a cargo runner would be over. The double life is wearing on her, because she loves both aspects of her life, but knows that it can’t go on like this forever. To make matters worse, she goes into “shimmer”, a once-in-a-lifetime fertility period, during the events on Gora. This adds a layer to her struggle; does she do her duty to her species and produce a child, or does she pursue what she really wants? 

Finally, there’s Roveg, a Quelin. Like the Akarak, Quelin haven’t received a whole lot of development in the series. In the first book, they’re portrayed as a xenophobic insectoid race, and their role is unambiguously antagonistic. Roveg is the polar opposite of that. He’s something of a renaissance man; an appreciator of fine art and dining, who designs artistic sims by profession. He delights in meeting aliens, befriending them, and learning everything there is to know about them. His arc centers around his exile from Quelin society and all the hidden pains associated with that. Chief among these is a mysterious meeting he has to make— which the Gora disaster obviously complicates. 

Complementing the three leads are the Five-Hop’s hosts; a Laru mother and child named Ouloo and Tupo. Similar to the Akarak and Quelin, we haven’t seen many of the Laru (who I always picture as fuzzy dog-giraffe hybrids). Ouloo struggles to be a kind and accommodating host in the wake of disaster. She’s also forced to confront her own prejudices, especially regarding Speaker, the first Akarak she’s ever met. The two initially have a lot of tension, but grow to be great friends over the course of the novel. Her child Tupo is a nonbinary character using xe/xyr pronouns throughout the novel. Xe’s basically a Laru teenager, and super endearing. I love xyr natural curiosity and naiveté. Definitely the “heart” of the group. 

Interaction between these characters is the bread and butter of this novel. There’s very little action; instead it focuses on their differing perspectives and life experiences. It’s a gradual build as the characters grow more familiar with one another. The epilogue is brilliant, because we see the long-term effect of these characters meeting. Despite interpersonal conflict in the story, Speaker inspires Pei to make a specific decision. From this decision, Pei realizes she can help Roveg with his meeting. As a result of this, Roveg is inspired to help Speaker based on one of their earlier conversations. His help fundamentally alters Speaker’s perspective on life— and there’s an implication it will reach beyond that, to the Akarak as a whole. It’s a cascade effect, but rather than the disastrous version that happened on Gora, it’s a positive social change for the leads. That’s the kind of literary parallel that really fires me up. 

I do have a few criticisms of this novel, minor and otherwise. The first is, I wish the tension between Speaker and Pei was more strongly built throughout. While I’m glad the novel isn’t all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to the character interactions, their conflict goes from an idea in the back of one’s mind to an explosive event. This is something of a nitpick because it’s otherwise well executed. I especially like that despite their interpersonal problems, they work together in the climactic events of the novel without sacrificing their respective principles. 

My other criticism is a series-wide observation. Wayfarers is optimistic to a fault. As such, it’s pretty rare that we see true evil or even bad behavior in this series. On one hand, it’s nice to read something where the characters are people who want the best for everyone. But there’s a lot of dissonance here, because there are MASSIVE social problems with the GC at large. For example, we see the effects of xenophobia, war, slavery, and colonialism, but the ones who perpetuate these issues are faceless. If Chambers wants to portray good characters, that’s fine, but it strikes me as odd to build complex social issues into your society, yet exclusively portray groups of morally good people. Why would a society full of such nice, helpful groups also marginalize the Akarak, or create an entire caste of slave clones to sort through their junk? This approach comes off as a desire for nuance without committing to it. 

This trend continues through the final book. The Galaxy, and the Ground Within is clearly a COVID-19 response novel (“we’re all in this together”!)— but everyone is blameless, and the government response is reasonable and timely. That’s just not how it worked in real life. So many people were (and still are!) selfish in response to COVID, often outright endangering others. Practically every government botched their response for the sake of money, leading to mass death worldwide. If Wayfarers has similar social issues to the real world, why would the response to a disaster be any different? It’s an ongoing contradiction; the Wayfarers society is simultaneously utopian and flawed, and it’s hard for me to suspend my disbelief. 

As an individual novel, though, I really enjoyed The Galaxy, and the Ground Within. Like all the other books in the Wayfarers series, it’s a standalone and can be read on its own. My experience with this series has been up and down; I recommend the second and fourth books, but I’d skip one and three if I ever do a reread. There are things to like about Wayfarers in terms of worldbuilding and the creative ideas behind all the different aliens. Characterization is hit or miss, but the hits are great, and this book in particular knocked it out of the park. Chambers’ prose improves a lot over the series, and it’s nice to see how she develops as a writer. As I’ve mentioned, Wayfarers has gotten lots of positive feedback, so it’s possible you will enjoy it more than I did. But I’m looking forward to reading something new.

[indiavolowetrust]

LOCKED-ROOM MYSTERY: an Obey Me! AU

The year is 1908. You, MC, have been invited for an extravagant getaway at the mansion of the eccentric Mr. Diavolo, who simply insists that you must come. You are quite the busy person yourself, you know, what with all this detective business -- but there is something so genuine in your old friend's letter that you cannot help but relent. So you pack your suitcases, send in a note to Mrs. Adams at the front desk about your leave, and set off to your good old friend's mansion.

As expected, it is in quite the isolated location. There is quite the breathtaking view of the mountains, seeing as you and the guests are the only ones here, but there is something eerie about it. Something odd. And the guests here are very strange indeed. Mr. Diavolo seems to have amassed a great variation in his ... colleagues. From a sultry actor to an irritable professor, a greedy banker to a shut-in, and a chef that eats more than he cooks to prideful, incorrigible politician -- well, it seems he's had quite the adventures over the years.

The dinner is good. Very good. Mr. Diavolo has spared no expense for his esteemed guests. There are nine courses in all: trays of exotic fruits and sliced cheeses, a charcuterie of all sorts and herbed butter, poached fish with risotto, roasted lamb that still crackles when it reaches the table, spiced meats that you cannot even recognize, soup with good, crusty bread -- oh, you do not know where to even begin! The strange guests, you, and your old friend make merry long into the night, and it is obvious that all look forward to the getaway.

Everyone is ushered into the parlor by his loyal butler, Barbatos, and it is here that more brandy is poured, bottles of wine are opened, and good champagne is inspected. It is also here that Mr. Diavolo says to you that he is going outside to light a cigar, for it would be a waste to let such a beautiful night go to waste. You think nothing of it.

An hour passes. Then another. And another. Some of the guests have begun to consider retiring to their rooms for the night. And then --

And then there is the scream.

You follow the sound, running through the corridors. There is a great door before you. You all but kick it open -- and you realize that you stand before the bleeding, facedown, very much dead body of Mr. Diavolo. The actor, Asmodeus, trembles before the door, having witnessed the gruesome scene through the glass windows of the door. Moments later, the other guests rush in to find the source of the panic. Varied looks of shock, panic, and horror can be seen on their faces.

This is the locked-room murder of Mr. Diavolo.

The Murder

There appears to have been no signs of forced entry. No signs of a struggle either. All the locks on the windows and doors remain undamaged and have clearly not been tampered with. The position of the furniture seems to be typical of a study.

Mr. Diavolo lies facedown in a pool of his own blood, the imported rug soaking up most of the liquid. There are exactly three stab wounds to his neck, ribcage, and stomach, with all entry positioned at the front. If he did not struggle -- at least, if he did not struggle initially -- then he must have known his murderer.

Time of death appears to be midnight, given the state of his body. He must have been murdered shortly after retiring from the party to have a cigar.

There are no footprints, fingerprints, or traces of the murderer at the scene ... at least for now. You do your best to corral the guests out of the study and begin your investigation. You have exactly six nights before the coachman comes to fetch everyone from the mansion.

The Guests

Lucifer

The prideful, insufferable politician that Mr. Diavolo has become acquainted with over the years. Unsurprising, of course, given his work overseas. You can imagine no other reason why anyone would desire to remain in this arrogant peacock of a man's presence.

He insists he was in the parlor the entire team. Which you can believe, to an extent. You quite clearly remember him arguing with the blond professor over the manner of drinking brandy. But what was he doing beforehand? Why suddenly make himself so conspicuous in the argument?

Mammon

The rather loud, obnoxious banker that Mr. Diavolo has trusted to run his accounts. Once more, you question the judgment of your late friend's business decisions. He does seem somewhat legitimate, given the fact that your late friend's business hasn't gone completely under. To your knowledge, that is.

Why on Earth would he want to murder one of his best clients? He insists that he would have no motivation to do so -- if anything, this is quite the blow to his establishment. But why was he late to dinner? Surely this loud buffoon could not have been doing any work on holiday.

Leviathan

The shut-in author of many strange, niche novels. You tried to make yourself seem more amiable earlier by lying and telling him that you have read his novels, but he only grew quiet in response. The conversation was very brief. Mr. Diavolo claimed he was a great fan of his work. You do not try to wonder why.

As a social recluse, Levi had decided to retire to his room immediately after the dinner, citing some illness or exhaustion or whatnot. He was not present immediately at the time the body was found, but he did rush all the way from his room down to the scene of the murder upon hearing the scream.

Satan

The irritable professor of a Very Important University, mind you. He seemed quite offended when you had little knowledge of his published journals, taking you for an ignorant idiot for some brief time afterwards. You quickly ended that with a scathing review of the clothing he has clearly forgotten to iron in his rush to get here, his mismatching socks, and the clear complex he has surrounding his intelligence.

How could you forget his rather loud argument with that peacock-like politician? You hadn't paid much attention to him until just then in the parlor, given your spat with him. But would an innocent man be so offended at the thought of being accused?

Asmodeus

A charming, sultry actor that Mr. Diavolo has met in his travels. You are not well acquainted with the theater or the novel moving pictures, but he seems quite happy with the recognition of his name. Then again, it isn't like you can take him for anything else but a bohemian artist.

He debated with Mr. Diavolo quite frequently over the finer details of art and theater over the course of the night, sitting by his side for the entirety of dinner. There was the brief interlude after dinner, but he insists he was only having a tryst with one of the maids. And he was the one who found his body.

Beelzebub

A chef that Mr. Diavolo has had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with over his travels. He seems to eat more than he cooks, really, but despite his eccentricities, he seems to be the most normal of the bunch. Certainly one of the most amiable.

You are quite sure that this guest is not the murderer. Every moment you have seen him seems to center around either the making or eating of food. Even now during your questioning, he chews on some bread roll that he has taken from dinner. If he were to have murdered Mr. Diavolo, you're sure his method would have simply been devouring him whole.

Belphegor

You're not quite sure what he does. He trails before Beelzebub as if he were a shadow, managing to look exhausted yet attentive to his brother's antics all at once. You can only guess that he was strung along by the aforementioned individual.

Like his brother, you find yourself doubting that he could be murderer. He has been in his brother's shadow for the entirety of the night, as you recall, and he seems to know little of the other guests or even of Mr. Diavolo.

Who murdered Mr. Diavolo?

This is now a choose-your-own-adventure novella. Read it here.

[ratingtheframe]

Films you need to watch if you want to fit in at film school.

By now, you’re probably knee deep in your filmmaking course at film school or university and if you want to keep up with the film discussions in between classes, then here’s a list of exemplary films to watch (and flex on) whilst at school. 

It’s never a fun moment when you’re sat in a group of other film buffs and everyone but you have seen one particular film. Not only that, but they continue to bang on about it, and in those 12 minutes you’re left wishing gosh, I wish I had watched that now.

I know the feeling and to make sure you don’t get caught out again, this list of films not only covers your filmmaker wannabe basics, but also a few swarve anomalies that you can throw into the discussion like a true culture vulture. 

Pulp Fiction (1994)

I shouldn’t be saying this but if you haven’t seen Pulp Fiction and you made it to film school, just leave. Hand in your student ID at reception and walk out the door, watch Pulp Fiction and come back to the next day. If you haven’t seen the 90s cult classic directed by Quentin Tarantino, it’s likely you’ve had at least one person disgusted by your lack of engagement for the film. But why is it such a necessity amongst the filmmakers of today? Well after a highly successful debut of Reservoir Dogs at Cannes Films Festival in 1992, Tarantino created another world of filmmaking. What he brought to the industry was a perspective and whole landscape that had never been seen before and the release of Pulp Fiction in 1994, certainly proved that Tarantino wasn’t a one trick pony. With a stellar cast, most of which were in their early days, and an outstanding storyline, Pulp Fiction is any filmmaker's paradise. And seriously, you can’t keep avoiding it. 

Fight Club (1999)

Keeping it in the 90s, is David Fincher’s Fight Club, another revolutionary film from the king of psychological thrillers. If the name David Fincher doesn’t mean anything to you, it probably should, seeing as his films have grossed over $2.1 billion at the box office globally and earnt him 30 Academy Award nominations. Story, script and cast align perfectly in all of Fincher’s films, with Fight Club being no exception. Based on the 1996 novel by Chuck Palahnuik, Fight Club follows two men (Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, enough said) who initiate in an organised fight club. Sounds pretty straight forward until you get to the end and realise Fincher has been messing with all of us the entire time. In terms of early filmmaking and story structure, Fight Club is an excellent cult classic to sink your teeth into.  

Psycho (1960)

Another name to be aware of, Alfred Hitchcock laid down the foundation for thrillers for generations to come. For it’s time, Psycho was revolutionary as it broke the strict censorship and threat barriers created in the world of filmmaking in the 60s. There are some iconic scenes in Psycho, along with an unnerving score and a whopping $39.2 million profit in the box office. Hitchcock also took a gamble killing off the star of the film, Janet Leigh, 45 minutes into the film. However, Psycho just goes to show that risks can also pay off. 

La Haine (1995) “The Hate”

There’s a reason why some of the most revolutionary films can be found in the 90s. The 90s was the year of filmmaking that gave two fingers to the world and most of its stories belonged to the misfits and outcasts of society. Films were violent, punchy and led by young protagonists, raking in teenage audiences and voices. La Haine is a prime and clear cut example of the injustice between races and class in Paris, winning a Best Director award at Cannes in 1995. The film was so thought provoking and hard hitting, that the Prime Minister of France at the time forced his cabinet ministers to watch it. I’m sorry, if La Haine is good enough for the Prime Minister of France, it’s good enough for anyone. 

Any Bong Joon Ho Film 

With the success of Parasite still looming over Hollywood, Bong Joon Ho has to be the industry’s biggest underdog. Before the 2020 Oscars, most weren’t even aware of the director’s work or how gratifying he is as a storyteller. Each film is meticulously executed, with a hard hitting political message sewn beneath the surface of the overall film. Bong Joon Ho was quoted saying that this technique isn’t intentional and the breadth of the films he makes is found once they’re completed. From Okja that explores animal cruelty to Snowpiercer which explores class division, Bong Joon Ho has a way with imbedding societal issues into his films in a stylstic and structured way that should have any filmmaker filled with envy. He’s a strong voice for Asian cinema who’s had a sharp impact on western cinema without feeling the need to have all his films in the english language. 

The 400 Blows (1960) “Les Quatre Cents Coups”

Whether you’re at school, in a lecture or amongst friends GUARANTEED the 400 Blows is going to worm its way into conversation at some point. The film was part of The French New Wave movement of the last 50s that created the foundation for French Cinema for films to come. The French New Wave was a significant movement that sought out to reject traditional ways of filmmaking and introduced new, more experimental ways of telling stories on screen. Francois Truffat won Best Director at the 1959 Cannes Film Festival for his directorial debut about a young boy struggling through Paris between his teachers at school and parents at home. The film shone a light on the misunderstood youth of the late 50s and early 60s, setting off a whole co-ord of films within the same genre later on. 

Moonlight (2016) 

Barry Jenkins became the underdog of 2017, with his beautiful and captivating story Moonlight, following a young boy through early adolescence and adulthood. The film is impeccably shot with rich colours and seamless shots. Moonlight won big time at the 2017 Academy Awards, winning Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor and Best Original Screenplay. The film certainly set the world of filmmaking on fire and carved out space for more black filmmakers to enter into the industry. 

Hereditary (2018)

It’s easy to forget that this film was released 2 years ago as it has had some groundbreaking reception since then. Hereditary, directed by Ari Aster, sets a bar and tone within horror films that has never been touched on before. Before him, your average horrors came from low budget gimmicky films where the lead actress would be running around in her underwear by the end of the film. Hereditary keeps everyone in their clothes (for the most part) and viewers on the edge of their seats for the entirety of the film. What stands at the forefront of this film is the slow pace and artistically beautiful frames that Ari Aster has meticulously curated to create a work of art. It’s everything you wanted in a horror film but could never really ask for, due to the over saturation of the horror films on the market and predictable jump scares that come with them. I found that the jump scares in Hereditary were put in the most unpredictable places, leaving me and most people visibly shaken and disturbed. 

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) 

Probably the first PG film on this list, Wes Anderson’s most iconic film The Grand Budapest Hotel, is a production designer’s paradise. Not only that, it features an insanely good cast with the likes of Jeff Goldblum, Ralph Fiennes, Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan, Adrien Brody, Tilda Swinton, Willem Dafoe, Harvey Keitel, Jude Law and Edward Norton starring in the film. Wes Anderson’s mind is like a fairy tale book; he has the ability to create other worlds filled with bright colours and characters that EVERY ACTOR are dying to be. The Grand Budapest is probably Anderson’s most ambitious film to date and features some production design techniques that are beyond real.

Amélie (2001) 

Amélie is your basic starter pack in French Cinema. Seeing as every charity shop has at least one copy of Amélie for sale, you have zero excuse for not having seen it yet. Even if French Cinema isn’t your thing, it’s very likely the entirety of French Cinema will be a topic of interest within your filmmaking course and Amélie is a fine place to start. The film ties the story, soundtrack and visuals perfectly and for any indie filmmaker, it’s a good example of taking a simple story but executing it in a complex way. In terms of box office, Amélie scored pretty well, with a humble budget of $10 million and making over $173 million globally. It was also nominated for five Academy Awards in 2002 and remains as one of the best and most iconic films to come out of France.

Good Time (2017)

With a humble budget of $2 million, Good Time made double in the box office and had a Hollywood star at its forefront. In fact Good Time skyrocketed Robert Pattinson’s career and since it’s release, Pattinson has gone on to be part of some amazing projects. Seeing Pattinson in such a gritty role in Good Time, was highly refreshing and totally suited him in every way. New York based filmmakers, Josh and Benny Safdie co directed and wrote the crime thriller after having an impressive response from their previous film, Heaven Knows What. They recently completed Uncut Gems for Netflix starring Adam Sandler, which continued the crime thriller neon lights aesthetic that's come with their two previous films. Good Time is jaw droppingly good, and for those wanting to go into lighting, it is a must watch. The deeper the story goes, the more you feel the urge to gasp as Robert Pattinson feeds us with an unrecognisable performance. 

8 ½ (1963)

We are getting into sophisticated territory here with Fredrico Fellini’s 8 ½ . For those Scorsese and Tarantino fans out there, Fellini is your filmmaking bread and butter as both filmmakers have admitted to being heavily inspired by the Italian’s cinematic masterpieces. Fellini had the ability to tie reality with fantasy in a personal way, depicting a lot of his own life within his films. 8 ½ is no expectation, as it details the making of the actual film in the film and the rocky relationship he had with his wife, who starred in a few of his films. Fellini is named as one of the best filmmakers of all time, for his experimental style and off the wall filmmaking techniques. No one can or could do what Fellini did and there’s yet to be anyone who measures up to him. 

Get Out (2017)

You like Get Out, I like Get Out, we ALL like Get Out. The film was the first of its kind in many ways and resonated with an audience that hadn’t yet been found. Jordan Peele wrote and directed the film, which grossed 100 times more than the film’s budget at the box office. This film is the epitome of less is more, taking a somewhat simple idea and heightening the possibilities of it. Jordan Peele became world renowned for it, along with British actor Daniel Kaluuya for his performance that earned him a Best Actor nomination at the 2018 Academy Awards. Get Out stands as a film that did what no one else has done before and for that, it deserves all the praise it gets. 

All Celine Sciamma films

It’s likely the first time you heard of French filmmaker Celine Sciamma was from her groundbreaking, break through film Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Premiering at Cannes 2019, the film earned the Queer Palm d’Or and Best Screenplay Award. The film is simple, gorgeously shot and significantly deep in its telling. Not only will Portrait of a Lady on fire set you on fire, but all of Sciamma’s films sit on a level of filmmaking that is praise worthy. Her past films, Waterlilies and Girlhood explore coming of age stories amongst women and are executed in a highly personal and understanding way. She is the queen of female indie filmmakers and certainly one of the best french filmmakers in the industry to date. 

I, Daniel Blake (2016)

It can be hard to remove the gimmicks and big names from the stories being sold on screen and get straight to the heart of a film. Ken Loach has brought an incomparable style of filmmaking to the table that sets him apart from almost every filmmaker out there. It's easy to compare a Tarantino film to a David Fincher one, however, throw Ken Loach into the mix there's just about zero relation to either filmmaker or their styles. I, Daniel Blake won Outstanding British Film of the Year in 2017 BAFTAs and the Palm d’Or at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival. It’s no wonder why the Cannes Film Festival ate this film up seeing as the realism and grittiness of I, Daniel Blake gave a voice to a large part of society that is heavily ignored. This film leaves you nodding in agreement at the reality of the way things are even if that reality is incredibly hard to bear. 

The Meyerowitz Stories (2017)

For those budding screenwriters out there, the work of Noah Baumbach is necessary in understanding three dimensional characters and the dialogue that comes with them. The Meyerowitz Stories stands from Baumbach’s other films, seeing as the screenplay and actual film are completely the same. On reading the screenplay of this film, I found not one single word of dialogue was forgotten about or changed, which is a pretty incredible achievement for any filmmaker. It certainly showed the actors (Dustin Hoffman, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Emma Thompson, Adam Driver) had a lot of respect for the words on the page and each one of their performances sought to lift them off it. Baumbach’s writing style is beautifully accurate to real speech; there’s interruptions, over layered conversations and a great deal of tangents. The dialogue is like music and is only elevated by the well rounded cast.

The Master (2012)

Filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson has this hypnotic way of arresting his audiences to invest in his films for two and a half hours, then drop them at the last second. You don’t know why you’re watching or feel so absorbed in the worlds he creates, however it’s as if something over takes your attention, forcing you to carry on watching till the end. The Master is no different with a prolific cast and slow burnt pace to it. It's hard to explain what it is about this film that makes it so great. The cast made up of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams and Jesse Plemons bring a top level performance and it feels like they’re always sitting on a secret. Every moment, every word, every shot is unmissable and the entirety of the film sets a bar of filmmaking that is flawless. Paul Thomas Anderson is a master (pardon the pun) of arresting his audiences and is someone to follow if you wish to do the same with your own films. For budding cinematographers, all of PTA’s films are worth a watch. 

12 years a slave (2013) 

Probably the best film out there that depicts slavery, 12 years a slave is a heart wrenching and moving film directed by Steve McQueen. The sensitivity and authenticity Steve McQueen brings to his films is A class, as he does an outstanding job of really transporting his audiences to a time before. There are many scenes in 12 years a slave that can be considered some of the best ever made. The cast is in-sane with the likes of Chiwetel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong’o, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Fassbender, Paul Dano, Sarah Paulson, Brad Pitt and even a young Storm Reid and Kelvin Harrison Junior, all joined within this story. Films with such casts are rare and it’s unquestionable why the film was nominated for Nine Academy Awards, winning three back in 2014.

The Social Network (2010)

Even though I wasn’t a fan of The Social Network, I can still appreciate the musicality behind the work of Aaron Sorkin and the screenplay he wrote for this. The collaboration between David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin on this film is something the world certainly needed, as two highly skilled masters of film came together and served us a huge slice of their talent. The Social Network is 100% the screenwriter’s film, and one to watch when trying to analyse successful dialogue within films.

 Babel (2006)

Those who are into the episodic film, you are advised to look into the work of Alejandro G. Iñárritu. A name you might not be too familiar with, but you only need to have seen Birdman or The Revenant to appreciate his talents as a director and unique voice. Babel struck me as a poignant and INCREDIBLY structured film, with a satisfying 360 to it, as all the stories connect to one another in a distinct way. It’s so clear that a lot of time was put into writing such a screenplay and the production itself is to be noted, for scenes are filmed in Morocco, Tokyo, California and Mexico. That takes a LOT of money, time, effort and people, however if was certainly worth it as Babel is hands down one of the best films you’ll ever see.

The films of Xavier Dolan. 

Xavier Dolan is Cannes Film Festival’s godson. The man has attended every festival for the past 10 years and each time, when in competition, he brings a personal and hard hitting perspective within his films. I have seen all but one of these films, and I suggest you do too. Xavier Dolan’s directorial debut I Hate My Mother scooped him numerous awards at the Cannes Film Festival and was made when Dolan was only 20. From then, he went on to direct several french/canadian films that won him the Jury Prize, Un Certain Regard and Queer Palm at Cannes. He’s a filmmaker who puts so much passion and devotion into his work, which is seen through the incredible acting, story and dialogue shown within his films. Two must see films of his would be Mommy and Laurence Anyways, especially for the acting. Xavier Dolan also directed the music video for Adele’s Hello music video which is one of the most watched music videos of all time, with 2.7 Billion views on YouTube.

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

Lynne Ramsay’s 2017 film starring Joaquin Phoenix is everything and more that you want from a thriller. It’s probably one of the best thrillers out there on the market and is highly underrated. Lynne Ramsay’s previous spellbinding feature We Need To Talk About Kevin sent pulses racing through the industry, giving Ramsay the recognition she deserves and even earning her a Palm d’Or nomination at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. As a female filmmaker, Lynne Ramsay is one to watch for she has a knack at creating her own original slow burning, deep stories and directing them in a seamless way. 

The films of Christopher Nolan

Christopher Nolan’s 11th film recently hit cinemas and no one knows what the hell is going on in it. However, there are plenty of other Christopher Nolan films that don’t melt your brain or send the guy next to you at the cinema cursing throughout the film in frustration at not understanding the film. The Dark Knight is said to have one the best performances in cinema history, with the late Heath Ledger taking on the role of the Joker. Not only that, but the likes of Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, Anne Hathaway and Christian Bale are also featured alongside Ledger, creating an untouchable cast. Dunkirk also deserves an honourable mention as one of Nolan’s films, seeing as I couldn’t breathe throughout the entire film. The second Dunkirk begins, the tension builds and you’re kept in a constant state of panic for the characters on screen. As far as war films go, Dunkirk is up there and it’s cinematic qualities were recognised at the 2018 Academy Awards, picking up three awards. What we can take from Christopher Nolan and his ability to execute stories on screen is that he spends a great deal on his screenplays before production. Tenet took FIVE YEARS to write (and probably another five to understand) certainly showing his devotion and dedication to his ideas as a filmmaker.

Honorouble mentions (that u should definitely check out)

Taxi Driver (1976) A Clockwork Orange (1971) Call me by your name (2017) Her. (2017) Do the right thing (1989)

Obviously there are 100s of other films worth watching that aren’t on this list, however if you were to watch all films mentioned on this list, you’d certainly get a different perspective on the possibilities of filmmaking and the stories they tell. 

[shark-el]

Onion soup:

A firend of mine asked me for my Onion soup recipe. I was just gana send it to her plain simple and boring. But then I thought of a better way to waist my time that I should probably be spending doing work or researching for projects and thing. But I decided this was a lot more fun!

My idea was to be one of those annoying food blogs that tell their whole life story in an absolutely overly exaggerated fashion! One to make fun of blogs that do this, and tow because it's fun and why the hell not?!

So the idea for this started back when I was first starting out cooking and every single blog I found had a 1000 word essay about the origin of sed food. I found it extremely irritating because why do I did to know that this person's great uncle's best friends grandma's dog died in a fire in order to make this recipe?! So I would scroll down all the way to get to the actual recipe but the story just kept on going! Like about how her great great great grandfather's colleague from work had spills tea on his novel, a passion project that he had worked so hard for. I still had no idea how this was relevant at all to the spring rolls I was planning on making? And after an eternity of scrolling fingers tired and eyes full of tears I finally got to the recipe.

You'd think after all that back story and the amount I had learned about the person writing this like the fact that her great grandmother's favorite color was tangerine but specifically tangerine, and not orange because her childhood best friend had lent her a sweater that exact color and the next day she had never returned. That sweater has become a family heirloom that has been passed down ever since. Or the fact that she had avocado toast on Tuesday three years ago on may 18th at exactly 3:26 pm. Needless to say I knew a lot about this person and their family tree. It really helped me get the care and feeling I needed for my spring rolls. So that is why I'm going to be overly pretentious and do the same thing to you so have fun.

I was born at a very young age, in the evening on a hot August day. I don't remember much from this time in my life but my parents told me that I was miserable until I could do things for myself. After that I was a force to be reckoned with, nothing could stop me! There was one time when I was about 6 months old my parents had left me on the table thinking I couldn't get far, keeping an eye on me every once in a while but not paying much attention. The second I was put down I saw something gleaming in the corner of my eye, it was a delicious looking chocolate brownie. Nothing could stop me I was going to get that brownie no matter what! so I slowly started scooching my tiny baby body to the delicious looking dessert moving as fast as my little arms could take me. It had been 10 minutes of struggling from one end of the table to the other. I had finally made it! I was so close my hand was mere centimeters away from the prize. It was gonna be mine all mine! But then suddenly out of nowhere my dad's arms came and picked me up taking me away from my long awaited dessert. needless to say I was furious but I still never got that specific brownie (I've had other brownies don't get me wrong, it's just I never had that one. And at this point I don't think I'd want to since it's several years past it's expansion date).

That was my first experience with real food which might have been a core memory if I actually remembered it. Sadly this happened before i could remember it, but i'd like to think that it was the beginning of my love for food.

Over the years I started cooking it started off as learning how to make eggs and mac and cheese but then over the years I started to make more complex dishes, some worked and some didn't. Now I know that most people would rather be informed about the times that somebody failed rather than the time someone succeeded, they stand out more I guess and if you're actually sitting down to read this then I will reward you with some of my biggest cooking fails.

First off anything that involves baking, for instance there was one time I was going to bake a chocolate cake for a bake sale and well... so what happened was, I learned that I can't follow a recipe for the life of me! You may ask why I'm writing this recipe if I probably won't follow it anyway, but it's more a list of ingredients than a actual recipe. Anyway back to the story so my first mistake was I ended up putting in a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon so normally this would be fine it would have just been a little bit salty, but problem was I had another mistake, I ended up putting in a tablespoon of mint extract instead of a teaspoon of vanilla extract as well, so the resulting cake was less cake tasting and more of the toothpaste variety. ( For some reason my brother loved it. He took about a handfuls. I would not recommend it with a glass of orange juice).

Another baking story, I was trying to make chicken pot pie, and filling itself is cooking. I can do that, throwing things in a pot, easy! It works! But do not, I repeat do not! leave me alone with a pie crust. my dad and I frantically tried to roll out said pie crust and not rip it, we were flailing around confused as to how dough worked. It took us about half an hour to roll out the pie crust so it would rip adds little as possible. After that day we came to a conclusion never to leave us with the job of baking ever again!

The next cooking fail I have is finally about the soup recipe. You see the first time I tried making onion soup it didn't go very well... Let me explain what happened. I was really in the mood for a nice warm onion soup and I figured you just throw some onions in a pot with some white wine and water and let it sit. Problem was we didn't have any wine, and I was too young to go to the grocery store to buy some, so instead I decided to use grape juice. Never but I mean never cook an absurd amount of grape juice, the heated aroma smelt excruciatingly unappetizing and I would not recommend it on anyone. So the resulting soup was watered down hot grape juice and stir-fried onions. needless to say it did not taste good and smelled even worse. I told myself that would be the last time I'd ever make onion soup! Years have past and and I was really in the mood for onion soup again even after that disaster, so I decided to try once again. this time with no grape juice! I looked through multiple recipes some had more ingredients than others and ended up combining a lot of them together to make my own onion soup recipe the one you see before you. And though I was scared that I'd mess it up I decided that I just really wanted some onion soup so I made it and it turned out delicious. Look at that a happy ending isn't that just great?!

I'd be surprised if you actually read through all of this if you did a good job,if you didn't then you're probably not going to read this sentence but I don't blame you it's all good who actually reads these backstories to recipes anyway?

Anyway I think I've mumbled on long enough here is the actual recipe for this soup:

5-6 onions

7-8 cups of chicken/ onion stock ( cold be parve from show mixes)

3 cloves of garlic (probably more)

1/4 cups of soy sauce

1/3 cups of white wine (optional)

4 tablespoons of oil (2-3 at the beginning and then 1-2 in middle of caramelization)

4 tablespoons of flower

1 teaspoon sugar (helps with caramelization)

Salt (to taste)

Pepper ( to taste but approx 1/8-1/4 of a teaspoon)

Instructions:

1) caramelize onions:

On medium heat Cook the onions, stirring often, until they have softened, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium high. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil (or butter depending on) and cook, stirring often, until the onions start to brown, about 15 more minutes.

Then sprinkle with sugar (to help with the caramelization) and 1 teaspoon of salt and continue to cook until the onions are well browned, about 10 to 15 more minutes.

Add garlic

2) Add Flour until mixed and quickly ( so it doesn't burn) add Add wine and soy sauce and once mixed well and incorporated

3)Add stock slowly, then add bay leaves and black pepper and salt (if needed, you can always add it later).

Bring to a summer and leve on low heat for 30 mins.

And now you officially scrolled too far, this is the point in a recipe blog where they add a bunch of links to all the recipes made by their friends families and anything else that comes to mind. Most people looking for the recipe would scroll all the way to the end trying to find it in this mess of words and unnecessary backstory told in an excruciatingly painful amount of detail. Then realize they've scrolled too far, sigh and start scrolling up again, this time a little slower.

It normally also has recommendations of foods that would go well with it, in the case of this onion soup I would recommend eating it with some garlic bread or grilled cheese sandwiches, basically all comfort foods that would spark Joy anytime you eat them.

If you're looking for aesthetic you can try making a bread bowl, cover it with cheese and broil it, which would have a whole other recipe linked in somewhere, with more details about how their great uncle's best firends associate made this same recipe for the pince of some country. But as I mentioned beforehand, I for one am not a baker and bread is most definitely a baking job. Not only is bread one of the more complex foods to bake, even if you put every ingredient precisely as the recipe mentions them, it still won't turn out right! Because ether the atmospheric pressure has changed very slightly, or the wind isn't blowing in the correct direction. Bread making is hard and I have a lot of respect for people who can do it correctly.

If you've read through all of this, damn that's dedication thank you and I applaud thee. I hope you enjoyed, and were amused.

[aelaer]

Re: Blood in Your Veins

Hey so uh.

As anyone who’s been following me for a while knows, I started the serial “The Blood In Your Veins” about this time last year (it used to be ‘my veins’ but retitled it on its move to AO3 because execution of prompt had changed a bit over writing). It’s a prompt that I couldn’t stop thinking about and just dabbled in slowly to see where it went. Then 2020 fully hit and my writing came to almost a complete stop until about October, which is when I began again on Illuminating the Shadows, which was finished and posted in December.

Anyway, I’ve been poking and prodding fairly continuously at The Blood in Your Veins. The first four parts that I posted originally here on tumblr are now all on AO3, and once part 5′s up I’ll link it here and link everyone who wanted alerts to the updates then so they can see the new part. Then all future parts will be linked here as well.

(Cut because why the *hell* did I write this much about this?)

I’ve been slow in posting because I, against better judgement but why not, decided to post it as a WIP. But that means I keep on making edits to older parts because I think of something new that should be addressed earlier in the story. Like uh, when I was writing part 9, I realized I needed to go back to part 5 and add an addendum. When I was writing part 12, I realized I totally forgot a part that I ended up adding in part 8, because I needed it for a future connection. This happens all the time in my writing and makes posting WIPs almost dangerous because my thinking is rarely linear if the story takes place over a course of more than a couple days. Thus the very slow posting.

So this silly little prompt thing that I was just prodding and poking at to see where it went? The farking doc passed 50k words tonight. Yup.

Granted, like 10k of that is probably outlining, personal notes, and A/Ns filled to the brim with meta, medical science, fake science, and technical/computer engineering because I love talking about it and giving people info to access easily for their own knowledge. I figure I can’t be the only one who finds this stuff super fascinating and fanfic makes it unique in that it’s not a book where the research is irrelevant, you can show off all the interesting stuff right here and talk about it with people! I love that about fanfic, so much. Sometimes the A/Ns are just as interesting as the story in some stories.

So it’s gonna be a bit slow for however long, but I finished 11 parts (with 10 betaed), have the 12th largely written out (though I’m not 100% sure about it yet so I want to poke at it more), and parts uh, 13 to 17ish outlined. But considering I was like “yeah this is 8 parts at most” like, at the beginning of this, that number is bound to change because characters keep saying things and doing things (including the supporting OCs, who are demanding to be fully fleshed out within the bounds of supporting character roles).

And yeah, this is just a ramble of what I’ve been mostly doing as I haven’t been super active on tumblr this month as this has consumed most of my free time. I haven’t read a lot of works either, and once this is completed I hope to remedy that, before I go into my next two big projects (which were meant to be what I was working on *now*, but then this took over and what will you do. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to complete three novel-length fics in the course of the year, but I’ll see what I can do. I really want to tell these stories).

Uh, this was really long. Sorry, I’m super verbose and don’t know how to be like, succinct. My old boss, two bosses ago now, used to quote Twain about brevity being a sign of wit, but if it is, call me 100% unwitty because I like to ramble. And then I always feel a little bit guilty for writing *so much* about my bullshit, so I feel like if you read this far, you 100% deserve to read a preview of an upcoming section. Especially since you pressed the Read More button! So here you go, thanks for reading my rambles. This is a section from the longest part so far, part 8. It’s a long little bit!

---

"How high's the toxicity now?" Tony asked as he stepped off the scale.

"Yesterday's blood sample came back at 0.45 milligrams per kilogram of your weight," Stephen replied. He snapped on a pair of latex gloves.

Tony offered his arm for the blood draw. "And if 3 milligrams is the magic number for fatality, that'd put my current blood toxicity at 15%."

Stephen inserted the needle at the crook of Tony's elbow and watched the tube fill up. "That's not quite how it works."

"It makes sense to me."

"That's still not how it works." He removed the needle and capped the tube, and as he put everything away, explained, "Saying that your blood toxicity is at 15% implies that you're talking about the whole volume of blood in your body. You're probably at about 5,500 milliliters with your weight, and with the density of blood equaling about 1.06 grams per milliliter, it is like you're saying—"

"That 874.5 grams of my blood is toxic, yeah, yeah, I know," Tony interrupted. By now he was setting up the table for their breakfast.

"I was getting there."

"You were going too slow," he shot back easily. Stephen gave the engineer a look at the comment, but Tony ignored it. "Yeah, I know it's not my whole body's blood volume. Obviously. But putting a percentage on how long until I reach the point that I'm dead makes sense to me. I'm not measuring the whole volume of my blood, I'm measuring how much more can I handle until I'm dead."

Stephen shot him a frown. "It doesn't make sense to call it 'blood toxicity' then."

"Maybe not to you, but it does to me. And I'd design such a measuring tool for me."

The statement caught him off guard. "Design?" He finished packing up the kit and joined Tony at the table.

"Well, if I wasn't stuck in here, I'd design something to automatically read a blood sample, like how glucose meters read blood sugar levels. Wouldn't be hard to engineer something like that. And I'd have it give me the amount of toxicity as a percentage relating to how far along it was until the amount was lethal. Sure, I could memorize the numbers, but the percentage would be more concrete in my head."

Stephen smeared butter over a piece of bread as he listened. He shook his head at the end of Tony's explanation. "Wouldn't work for the consumer market; there's too much room for interpretation as to what the percentage means."

Tony huffed. "Well, like I said, it'd be for me. Not the consumer market."

His brow furrowed. "You're telling me that you can make a blood test as simple as the one used for testing blood sugar levels for something as rare as palladium poisoning?"

He narrowed his eyes. "... yes…"

"You can make it portable like the glucose meters?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And affordable to most hospitals?"

Tony looked up in thought. "I don't usually factor in the costs of materials and manufacturing in personal projects, and others do the number crunching to see if my ideas are viable for production in company projects. If they aren't, but I really want them to be, I'll tinker a bit more, sure."

Stephen couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Do you realize the amount of money you could save for both hospitals and patients across the country with such technology? Specialized blood tests—like for many metal poisonings, for instance—aren't offered at every hospital. It may not be available even in every state. Those types of lab results can take weeks to get back to a doctor and the patient. And you're saying that you can not only potentially create this type of technology, but that you may be able to make it affordable if you really want them to be?"

"Well yeah, sure. I've done it a few times with other things. I could probably do that with a blood meter thing. I doubt the tech's that complicated."

His mouth was partially hanging open, Stephen realized this, but he couldn't bother at the moment. He was flabbergasted. The first thought that came to mind went to his mouth, unfiltered. "And you spent the last two decades building weapons."

"Don't." The word was sharp and filled with an overabundance of emotion.

Stephen fell silent. He crossed a boundary he had yet to see before now, and he was not so callous as to push against it. Instead he turned to his meal and focused on eating. He avoided looking at the other man.

A couple minutes later, Tony spoke again. It was low, pensive. Thoughtful. "There was a good reason I shut down weapons manufacturing after I got back from Afghanistan, you know. If the department ever comes back, it will be with major restrictions and modifications. Likely more defensive than offensive. More shields, less missiles. But in the meantime I've been restructuring. Expanded in commercial aerospace and industry. We entered the energy market properly. Consumer products is coming soon—end of the year, probably." A pause. "Don't see why we can't look into medical tech, either. Certainly wouldn't hurt to try."

He could only nod and say, "It certainly wouldn't."

[blackjack-15]

The Puzzle is Just the Italian Language — Thoughts on: The Phantom of Venice (VEN)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: VEN, RAN.

The Intro:

From the French-inspired streets of New Orleans, Nancy jumps on a plane to Venice and is caught up in international espionage, theft, a mafia ring, and a cast of hostile suspects living in the same house as her.

Sounds a bit like my first semester of college, honestly. Minus the whole “Venice” and “international espionage” parts.

Coming directly after CRY, VEN isn’t quite as thick with atmosphere, doesn’t have any of its philosophy or thematic elements, and is really only famous for being set in Italy and for the fact that they hired four voice actors for our main cast sans regular characters (Colin, voiced by our good ol’ boy Jonah Von Spreecken, counts as a returning VA), but hired 6 distinct VAs for the singing gondoliers, most of whom the average player will never hear.

Yeah, VEN is kind of that type of game.

There’s a lot that makes VEN the trippy experience that it is – more on that immediately below – but nearly none of that makes VEN as confused as it is. Nancy’s hired by a foreign government – sort of – but there’s also a love line – sort of – a roommate story – sort of – and some touristy stuff like overpaying for flowers and gelato.

Taking place overseas, VEN might have been mistaken for a Jetsetting game if it weren’t for the fact that every bit of the game is permeated with the sense that nothing was quite thought out, nothing quite flows together, and there’s no emotional response in anyone – including the player.

That’s not to say that there’s nothing enjoyable about VEN; it’s one of the most highly memed games, in fact, with a catsuit, horrific fashion choices, and little laser roombas all making up the most memorable meme material (and that’s not even touching discount Justin Timberlake and his slides of seduction). It has strongly-painted characters (even if there’s a touch of the caricature about them), the return of recurring characters, the first appearance of a semi-recurring character, poisoned chocolates…it’s almost like someone tried to do STFD, but with a sprinkling of spies and Italy thrown in for good measure.

VEN can be a lot of fun, but it’s also a grind a lot of the time; the required puzzles can be ridiculous, for example, and, in a twist for Nancy Drew games, there’s a puzzle for everyone to hate, no matter if you dislike stealth games, card games, speed-reaction games, or even language puzzles.

Which brings us to the biggest problem with The Phantom of Venice: the common puzzle thread, the thing that keeps recurring, the ‘mission statement puzzle’…it’s just the Italian language. The game hinges on the idea that the player won’t know any Italian (or any Romance language, honestly), and that’s where the majority of the difficulty in the game (barring bad hand-eye coordination) comes from. It’s not a good thing at all, and it brings the entire game down with it.

Well, it has a little help. Let’s talk about the Roomba in the museum, shall we?

The Weird Stuff:

There’s a lot of things that are weird about VEN, no getting around it. But there’s one solid thing that makes it…well, Odd in the way that the other Odd games are qualified, and that’s this one simple fact:

This is a Hardy Boys mystery, with Nancy clumsily inserted in instead of Frank and Joe.

Think about it; called in by a foreign government, espionage, nearly drowning, contacts in the government and police force, an Italian crime ring…these are all things straight out of a Hardy Boys novel, not a Nancy Drew novel. There is a Nancy Drew book titled The Phantom of Venice, true enough, but this game doesn’t bear any resemblance to it besides, well, Venice itself. You could swap out Nancy with the boys and the whole game could go on, minus the whole ‘keepsake necklace from Ned’ thing, and depending on what you ship, even that might fly under the radar.

And no, I didn’t forget the dancing in a catsuit thing. Pure comedy right there.

Nancy’s a homegrown detective; most of her cases are ‘small thing spirals into bigger thing’. It’s not that she doesn’t deal in espionage, at times in foreign places, or stumble upon a crime ring. It’s just that that’s not the type of thing Nancy’s called in for, it’s the type of thing she trips over halfway into a lower-stakes mystery.

The Hardy Boys, however, because of their father’s contacts (in the novels) and their position in ATAC (in the games) are exactly the kind of people that work with police chiefs and security experts and foreign spies and the like. It’s very nearly their bread and butter. Which is why I have a wild but not out-of-the-way wacky sorta-serious theory. Bear with me:

This game was designed as a Hardy Boys game, and Nancy really was clumsily inserted in with a few weeks to spare.

At this point in history – the far-behind time of July 2008, as the Great Recession was descending, the fury of an election year was coming to a head, and you couldn’t go to a supermarket or clothes store in America without hearing OneRepublic tell you that it was just a little too late to apologize – HER wasn’t doing badly, per se, but they certainly weren’t doing as well as they could have been. They weren’t that far from having had to majorly upgrade their engine for a rapidly changing technological world, and there seemed to be no end in sight. HER had plenty of staff change-ups coming because of new sponsors, but weren’t making enough simply with what they had.

Put simply, they needed a carrot. And what better carrot than the fan-favorite Hardy Boys?

There are two Hardy Boys games put out around this time: The Perfect Crime and The Hidden Theft. While neither one was done by Her Interactive, there was a HER Hardy Boys game in the works: the DS masterpiece Treasure on the Tracks. The audience for a Hardy Boys game was meant to be young boys/teenaged boys, but the side audience expected was fans of the Nancy Drew books and games.

So while I know logically that Phantom of Venice was just the latest in a  line of ‘adulted-up’ Nancy Drew books (and games), in my head it makes much more sense to say that it was supposed to be a Hardy Boys game meant to promote Treasure on the Tracks and HER got nervous and pulled the plug, stuffing their erstwhile teen detective in instead.

The Title:

As far as a title goes, The Phantom of Venice isn’t a bad one; you can tell it comes from the ‘hotter and sexier’ Nancy Drew books, and as a collection of words, it works rather well. It’s an evocative title, giving us our location, our crime (‘phantom thieves’ are common as a type of thief), and doesn’t say too much else, so as to not spoil the mystery.

As a title for this game, however…well, so little of the actual game deals with the Phantom that it’s rather non-indicative as a title. By the time you’re 16 Scopa games deep and are wearing a sparkly red dress with a cat mask and sneakers around Italy, you’ve pretty much forgotten about the Phantom and are more worried about exactly what happened to the pigeon you used as a messenger and why exactly flowers and gelato cost so much for 2008.

The Phantom of Venice just…deserved a better, more cohesive, more…well, phantom-y game than it got. That’s all.

Now, onto the mystery!

The Mystery:

Nancy’s been called in by the Secret Italian Police because a thief has been stealing art.

No, really, I’m being serious.

Sure, Prudence Rutherford has a hand in getting her called in, but basically Nancy goes from small-time cases, sometimes getting her name in the papers, to called in by the Italian Secret Police.

Caught up at a house where no one likes her (understandable, given that she just Appears one day, forced on the Ca’s owner, Margherita Fauborg, and her residents at the Ca’), Nancy soon becomes embroiled in a mystery most foul when she discovers ties to the art thief – or thieves – right around the Ca’, poisoned sausages and message-laden chocolate boxes, and shades and shades and shades of tiles offered by the Ca’s resident nerd.

Soon, Nancy is juggling police contacts, heists, Scopa games, and the impersonation of a world-class spy just to give the Italian police a hint as to who might be stealing Venice’s greatest artworks. It gets personal, however, when the Phantom Thief himself shows up, stealing Nancy’s locket which she’s just been given by Ned.

Oh, and did I mention that the whole thing is told in media res? Yeah, very, very weird choice right there.

Honestly speaking, the mystery isn’t…bad, per se. It’s got solid bones – art theft, mysterious thieves, romantic location, interesting-seeming suspects, some spy shenanigans. The problem with VEN’s mystery, largely, is that there just isn’t any cartilage to connect those good bones. Without something to hold it all together, it just kind of falls apart – exactly like a skeleton without cartilage.

Simply put, there’s a lot of mystery, but no plot to carry the mystery along.

The Suspects:

Beginning with Margherita Fauborg, the tanning-obsessed matriarch of the Ca’ Nacosta, seems like a good place to start. Dismissive of Nancy, tourists, and Nancy being a ‘tourist’, Margherita prefers to stay on top of her house tanning the day away rather than take part in any shenanigans.

Having Margherita not be a member of the ring was almost as inspired as having Helena lead it; she’s not nice, does suspicious things, is entirely self-centered – but she’s not a villain, nor does the game really pretend that she is for more than a second. I really like characters like this in the Nancy Drew games, who are honestly just People not enamored with the teen detective, but aren’t villains just because of that.

Also, the story of her husband’s death is just incredibly hilarious.

Her half-ward, half-employee Colin Baxter, on the other hand, is anything but dismissive of Nancy. He’s part of the ‘kinda crushing on Nancy’ club, but is Far less beloved than any other member of that club. It comes from his inherent creepiness, criminal record, and love for tile slides, I think.

Colin, as a suspect…well, he’s just there to make the numbers add up. It’s a shame that his largest utility is to show Margherita’s slightly unscrupulous nature, but he should have been kept as perhaps a figure that Nancy could call to get the story, rather than an in-person suspect.

The other person staying at the Ca’ is Helena Berg, fulfilling the HER mandate for having a German villain in their European games. Having Helena be the mastermind of the ring is a pretty good plot point, honestly, as I expected the first time for her to just be part of it, and to have that be the Big Surprise.

She’s also one of the few villains who promises revenge on Nancy and/or is still out there. I know it would have been Way too soon to have Helena be the returning culprit in RAN rather than Dwayne, but honestly she was a better candidate for it. While any hope of a good ND game (and mostly any game, honestly) is pretty far from me, I always hoped one day Helena would return in all her platinum blonde glory.

Enrico Tazza is our most encountered (kind of) and outwardly suspicious suspect, but he’s not exactly…well, scary. He makes Nancy-as-Samantha play a card game with him, then disappears, despite being the Preeminent Villain Face for the first half of the game.

I do love Tazza, however, just for his presence in the game. He’s cartoony, fun, well-acted…he’s just great. And as a potential villain, he’s great too! You’re never meant to doubt that he’s a ‘baddie’, you’re just meant to go along for the ride. Excellent.

Finally, Antonio Fango is the most prominent suspect that you’ll ever completely forget the name of, due to his lack of screen time despite being the Italian Police’s favorite suspect. He has a whole convoluted backstory involving multiple colleges and degrees, but really he’s just the communication go-fer for Helena’s theft ring.

As a villain…well, Fango does his part, but due to being a nigh-unseen suspect, he’s really just not very memorable. He’s like most of the ring – necessary to establish the numbers, but other than that, a non-entity.

The Favorite:

Despite the plot holes wide enough to steer a gondola through, there are a few things that really make VEN stand out.

The first is Samantha Quick; originally a stage name suggestion from Simone in FIN, she shows up as an actual character in VEN, albeit only by phone and shadow. Her pissed-off phone call to Nancy is a highlight of the game, especially as she ends with the vaguely threatening line “say hi to Ned for me”. Her shadow at the end in Colin’s window is the final clinch to make SQ a personal favorite of mine, and her presence (and the feeling of her presence, which is sort of different) is a high point in the game.

The location of the game is another plus; not so much Venice, but the Ca’ Nacosta itself. It’s a wonderful ‘home base’ location for any Nancy Drew game, filled with light, staircases, and pretty impressive stonework given that just a few short games ago, everything looked like it was animated out of melted gummy bears.

My favorite puzzle(s) are the chess puzzles, honestly. I just kind of like chess puzzles to begin with, and it’s a nice respite from forcing pigeons to do your bidding and avoiding various foods.

My favorite moment in the game is honestly the Samantha Quick shadow, but if I had to pick another moment, it’s where Nancy implies that she’s stripping for money, and Ned just replies that he’ll be really glad when she’s back home safe in the States. It’s such a random, hilarious thing to happen, and Ned’s complete underreaction to the idea of Nancy earning money in such a way (as she makes it sound way worse than it actually is) is what really sells it.

The Un-Favorite:

There are some un-favorites as well, however, that drag down the game to the place it currently resides.

The first is…well, the location and the means used to get Nancy there. As much as I have no problem with Venice, this attempt to open up the world makes little sense when you consider that there’s no way the Italian Secret Police would hinge their hopes on a small-time 18 year old American detective, no matter how highly Prudence spoke of her.

The jumbled plot (when there is a plot, at least) is another point against VEN; the writers just didn’t know what to do with Nancy being in Venice, and so just…didn’t do anything with it.

I also dislike that this game happens in media res. There’s no real reason to do it – and it makes any actions that the player takes that’s slightly apart from the ‘main plot’ – gondola rides, ice cream, looking at slide after slide after slide – seem incredibly out of place and borderline inappropriate. At the very least, if the Hardy Boys were part of the game, they could be yelling her name as she began to drown, which would give a sense of urgency that’s missing from the confused opening.

My least favorite puzzle…well, that brings me to a huge problem: every puzzle in this game is based around the fact that it’s in Italian, and they expect no one playing this to even have an idea of Italian (or any romance language). It boils down to this: the puzzle is just the Italian language, and they have nothing else up their sleeves. I don’t have a least favorite puzzle, because apart from a select few, they’re all the same puzzle, wrapped in slightly different clothing.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Phantom of Venice?

Coming off of CRY, we’ve now had two games with two (or three) player characters, so that’s what I’d start with doing. Include the Hardy Boys, who have been called on by the Italian Secret Police because of their work with ATAC. They’re helping the mystified police track down this ring of thieves when Nancy mentions offhand that Prudence Rutherford is recommending a stay at a Ca’ in Venice whose owner owes her a favor (as a treat/vacation). Upon hearing this, the Hardy Boys ring her up and ask her help, as they’ve stalled out. They’re not allowed to come into physical contact with Nancy (to save money on animating them/Nancy), but they want her to investigate from her end, as she won’t be suspected at all.

The real reason the Italian Police let the Hardy Boys get her involved, of course, is that they need someone to impersonate Samantha Quick, and they’re having a rough time with their Joe-in-a-wig tests. They need an American who can convincingly pull off the act, and the brothers mention Nancy’s stints undercover. Desperate enough to grasp at anything, Nancy’s officially in.

That along would help beef up the plot, as suddenly we have an actual police plotline with the Hardy Boys (playing as one or the other, it doesn’t matter, or maybe both with different ‘jobs’ to do as one or the other). Diving the suspects is a good idea too; Nancy would take Helena and Tazza as her primary suspects (of course, only Tazza would be the ‘primary’ at the beginning), while the Hardy Boys handled Fango and his side of the ring.

The final puzzle (with the flashlights and such), especially, makes more sense as a Hardy Boys sort of thing. Nancy can snoop around the market and the Ca’, discovering clues as to Helena’s guilt and such. The Hardy Boys take down the ring, but Nancy takes down Helena.

I would also give Nancy a better reason to be undercover at the dance club. It’s a weird little minigame to be sure, but if it’s gonna exist in the game, there should be a better reason. Even better, take it out and have her solve puzzles – something other than the Italian Language, mind you – in order to get money from the police or something.

(Even better, take out the money thing, as someone helping the Police and pretending to be a spy should not be or appear to be short on funds.)

The last big change I’d do is to take Ned out (sorry, Ned, but there’s really no reason for you to be in this game) and swap him for Carson. Carson really should be in a few more games than he is as it stands, and this is a great way to bring in the fact that…well, Carson can’t be entirely Comfortable with the direction that Nancy’s life is going, even if he is proud of her.

Most of the time, Nancy’s family and friends are just used to say “and she’s ‘normal’ and loved and supported even though she’s never home”, and I think using them to establish her character and the stakes is a far better use of these pre-existing characters.

[allthebest20]

Butter Honey Pig Bread by Francesca Ekwuyasi

8/10.  A joy to read and a great debut novel. I think the author has even better work ahead of her.  The characters are complex and unique, and the book explores modernity, pain, and generational spirituality in a very readable style.  I couldn’t help but make assumptions about the author as I read the book: definitely Nigerian, definitely a cook, definitely spent time in London and Canada, definitely queer, definitely raised in the Church, but also definitely spiritual.  The authenticity with which she writes, especially in regards to being queer in the modern world and the cultures of different places, is what makes this book great.  The story dances between the gruesome details of reality in the twenty-first century and romanticized views of youth and love. It raises a lot of questions in me about the international class system, wealth, and privilege.  

The only real complaint that I have is around one of the main plot points: the rape of Kehinde when she is 12.  While this is a turning point in all their lives, I feel as though it is also simultaneously underappreciated, as if the author choose this event simply because it was one of the worst things she could think of.  I think this is a common pit fall for authors.  A lot of traumatic things happen to this family: Kambi, the mother, is very mental ill, Banji, the twin’s beloved father, is murdered, Taiye, the queer twin, struggles with her own mental health.  Yet, the rape is regarded as the primary Bad Thing and all the other traumatic events are hardly discussed.  I appreciate how the author takes some time, maybe 1 chapter, to discuss Kehinde’s relationship to sex and her body.  Yet, Kehinde’s life seems to be mostly unaffected by this event, except in the way she punishes her family with her silence.  She is in a healthy relationship.  She does not abuse alcohol or drugs.  She has a successful career.  Ultimately, it’s not a book about overcoming childhood sexual abuse.  It’s a book about mending a family after years of pain, resentment, distance, and silence.  I almost feel as though the book could have been stronger if it focused more on the effects of Banji’s death and Kambi’s violence and depression on the twins.  Ultimately, though, sexual abuse is just a thing that happens to a lot of kids, and perhaps it serves a purpose to write a book where it happens, it’s horrible, but it doesn’t need to be put under a magnifying glass.  It just reverberates.

This book could have been about a lot of things.  When I picked it off the shelf at the library, I barely read the entire description, immediately caught by the spiritual nature of Kambi’s being and the brief mention of “reckless hedonism.”  I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Taiye was a lesbian, and I saw a lot of myself in her: the serial string of intense relationships, always slated to go nowhere, the indulgence in food and weed and dancing and occasionally other drugs, the loneliness and missing family but not being able to connect with them, the exploration of religion and spirituality and non-monogamy, seeing and feeling things you don’t know are real.  I feel like a lot of modern young adults live like Taiye does, unsure what to look for except comfort.  I love how the author mentioned the chaotic draw of dating apps.  I love how Taiye is a stoner.  I love how Taiye loves organic butter and fair trade chocolate and cooking extravagant meals for anyone who will eat it.  I LOVE how the author includes recipes for what Taiye is cooking.  Although I probably won’t use those recipes, I did want to cook what Taiye was cooking, and it reads just like my brain reads when I am absorbed in a culinary project.  This book could have been more about what it means to be a lesbian, but it only barely describes her formative romantic and sexual experiences.  The author details the first time Taiye calls her self gay out loud and has queer sex, but this is long after she has had gay feelings and gay experiences.  The author does not explore Taiye’s inner turmoil, and it is unclear if Taiye struggles at all with her sexuality in the long term.

I also like how the book explores mental illness.  It doesn’t shy away from both the good and the bad parts.  It doesn’t shame medication use.  It explores the spiritual powers of those who’s brains work differently.  Kambi’s voice explores suicide in an interesting way: both from the frequent pull of the voices, asking Kambi to escape the pain of living, and Kambi’s own knowledge that she wants to remain here with her family.  Although I have perhaps 0 hard examples of mental illness being spiritual, I still want to believe that those who hear voices, who see things, who feel things, are connected to the spiritual in a way that those who live entirely in reality are not.  This book explores one such case.  I also found it interesting how Taiye inherits some of Kambi’s crazy (struggles to speak as a young child, depressed, sleep walks) and some of Kambi’s magic (draws people to her, sees and hears beyond).  This make Taiye feel closer to her mom as she ages, while Kehinde remains unsure.  This book could have been more about generational mental illness and the pain and distance it causes, but instead the author focuses on the magic of it all.  It asks, quietly, if the girls should be mad at their mother, can they be mad at her?  From the outside, Kehinde knows that Kambi is respoinsible for the scar on Taiye’s face, but yet we, the audience, know that Kambi had to do this to prevent Taiye from killing the rapist, Uncle Earnest.  Does Kehinde know this?  How can she understand?  In a family, we have no choice but to forgive and let live if we cannot understand, or else remain alienated.  This is the underlying message of the book.

The book has a complicated timeline: the main story line follows the events of a six month period in which the three main characters are united again in Lagos, after over a decade apart.  Slowly, in tangents, the three characters’ backstory is explained.

The book features a few key locations:

Nigeria (specifically Abeokuta, where Kambirinachi is born, Ife, where she spends her youth, and Lagos, where she raises her family),

London (where the twins were born and where Taiye lived for 9 years during and after university),

and Canada (Kehinde lives in Montreal since attending university there and Taiye lives in Halifax after London). 

I’ve never been to Nigeria or London, but I love the way the author writes the dialogue and the characters from each place.  I cannot say if they are accurate, but they have a clear and unique voice, not homogeneous but also representative of those place-based qualities that unite an area.  The characters give me a glimpse into what it feels like to be Nigerian abroad vs. Nigerian at home.  She rarely writes about interpersonal incidents of racism: the characters are mostly well liked, treated nicely by the people in their life, given opportunities.  I think that contributes to the feeling of romanticism in the story.  Racism is discussed on a more systematic level: they have problems at the airport, Taiye learns about the history of racism in Canada. As someone who has been to Canada, knows about the history of Canada, and lives very close to Canada, I enjoyed hearing about Taiye learning about Canada’s dark side, something that is so rarely discussed by the general public.  However, for those of us who are interested, the evidence is everywhere.  The history is just waiting to be explored by anyone who is interested in looking just slightly beyond the state-issued textbooks.  I thought the way the author wrote about Canada was really authentic, which convinces me that the way she writes about London and Nigeria must also be accurate.  What it must be like to be Ekwuyasi, so intimately familiar with places so far apart.

There was one line in the book that really stuck with me: as Taiye is traveling home, she passes through the busy streets of Lagos, crowded with street children, and she is reminded of her privilege in a very visual way, something she doesn’t get in Canada or London.  This is the view the West wants us to have of Africa: a whole continent made of dirty huts and begging children on busy urban roads.  Yes, poverty looks different in Nigeria than it does in Canada, but that doesn’t mean that everyone in Nigeria is somehow poorer.  In fact, this family has a beautiful compound and a trust fund.  Despite having a trust fund, Taiye still makes decisions on a strict budget and denies herself luxuries to save money, the way I do.  I don’t really know a lot of people with trust funds, so I can’t tell if this is an international thing or if there are American kids who act like this.  It kind of annoyed me when Taiye wrote to the culinary program saying she didn’t have enough to pay for the program, when in reality she just didn’t want to dip into her trust fund.  I don’t know if there were limited spots/funds available for people who couldn’t afford to pay full price, but I hate when rich people forget what it means to actually not have money.  Being cheap and being poor are two different things, often way more opposing than people think.  Rich people are often the ones who know how to exploit the system to get what they want for less, while the poor are left with less connections and less time to work it.

Still, I refrain from delivering too harsh judgement on Taiye. I do not know the size of the trust fund.  I know their family home was a gift, so perhaps the fund is to be saved for medical emergencies and property taxes.  I’m not sure how insurance or taxes work in Nigeria, although I know the government is very unstable.  How did they pay for international university?  Did that come from the trust fund?  The whole plot line has me thinking a lot about wealth and class on  an international level.  While I grew up comfortably, I often felt like my family was poor because of how rich everyone in our town was.  I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a compound and see homeless children often, but also ingest international media that cast your entire country as poor and to know your government is unstable.

All in all, the book touches on many of the central issues of modern life  While it only brushes the surfaces of these topics, it had me thinking for days and wanting to know more.  Perhaps I will search out an some Nigerian autobiographies / memoirs in the future.

[dmsden]

What Is Wanting and What Is Owed

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Since I’ve been given the rare gift of a 5th Monday this month, I get a freestyle article. And, although I don’t often like to get on a soapbox, I’m going to do so a little. If you don’t want to hear me pontificate, you may want to skip this article and come back on Thursday.

During its recent D&D “Live” event, a few products were announced. Rime of the Frostmaiden was announced as the new adventure. While I’m personally meh about the whole Drizzt/Icewind Dale storyline, books, etc, I recognize that they’re an incredibly popular property, and I’m looking forward to seeing new monster stat blocks and so on. In proximity to this announcement came three other announcements, all of which I thought of as very positive, but which, to my surprise, brought a ton of venom from other D&D players.

Beadle & Grimm’s announced a Platinum Edition of the mod. No surprise there.

WotC announced Heroes’ Feast, the official D&D cookbook, from the same team that did the beautiful Art & Arcana book.

And finally, WotC made an announcement, which I will not go over again here, about how they wanted to show more sensitivity when presenting cultures based on real world cultures. You can read this in full at https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/diversity-and-dnd

I was pleased with all these announcements, but I was shocked (I guess I shouldn’t be any more?) about the level of venom I saw online about all three of them.

The B&G announcements was met with comments like, “$500? For that, the adventure had better run itself for me!” “Does it actually cast the spells?” and so on. For full disclosure, I have bought everyone of the Beadle & Grimm’s products. I ordered Waterdeep: Dragon Heist with a lot of trepidation, because $500.00 is a decent chunk of change for me. After receiving it and being blown away by what it contained, I knew we’d be buying other products as they came down the line.

The fact is that I am the target audience for B&G products: I’m a huge D&D fan, as is my husband, and we have a decent amount of disposable income to spend on our major hobbies, which includes TTRPGs. If you’re not in that target audience, then of course you’re not going to buy it, but I don’t see the value in tearing down others who make that decision. I guess, if anything, it’s likely motivated by jealousy. That’s a pretty natural human emotion, but it would be nice to see the honest reaction behind it.

The reactions to the cookbook seem to range from “I won’t waste my money on this” to “Well, they’re gonna lose money on this one” all the way to “Why is WotC wasting time with all-fluff products like this? They should be working on XXXX, because I’ve been waiting years for it.” I can understand not wanting to spend money on something you don’t want or need; that’s sensible. I’m personally charmed by the idea of an official cookbook, because I love to cook, so I’ll be grabbing this. I was actually pondering a fantasy-based cookbook project myself, but now I’ll wait to see what this looks like and if it scratches the itch I have for such a product.

So is WotC wasting talent on this? No, they’re not. The people who are writing this are the same freelance team that worked on Art & Arcana, so no WotC authors were dragged away from valuable work for this. Also, this isn’t one of WotC’s normal books that they release in a year. We’ll still be getting all the fluff and crunch this year that we normally would, but those of us who like the idea of a cookbook will get one.

Oh, and as far as losing money goes, I’d like to tell you about a book called Leaves from the Inn of the Last Home. When the Dragonlance novels and modules came out, they were incredibly popular. They were so popular that the demand for more material about that world prompted TSR to publish Leaves. It was all fluff and no crunch. You got everything from astronomy notes to sheet music to...oh, gosh...recipes. And it was a massive seller. It sold so well that they ended up making two sequels to it. So I think WotC will be okay with this one. And if not, they just won’t do another project like this down the line.

I think what bothers me about this one is really the sense of entitlement. Way too many posts seemed to boil down to, “This isn’t what I want; I want XXXX. WotC owes it to me.” Like, really, no they don’t. Every time WotC has a product announcement, I cross my fingers for Spelljammer, because I have an irrational love of its silliness and the imagination that went into it. But it would NEVER occur to me to think that WotC somehow owes me Spelljammer. WotC is a company, and the core principle of every company is to make money. I’m sure that, if WotC eventually thinks Spelljammer will make it money, that it’ll happen, but they know that Forgotten Realms is their bread and butter, so I’m not holding my breath.

I’ve been going on for a long time, but the last one is the one that cuts me deepest to the quick, so I can’t ignore it. It’ll probably come as no surprise to anyone that, as a very liberal/progessive gay man, I was disgusted to see so many comments condemning WotC for bowing to political correctness or for doing this “just to make money”.

As far as making money goes, I have already said, that’s what a company wants to do. I think you’d have to be blind not to see the surging tide of people in the U.S. and across the world who are sick and tired of inequality. The fight for equal treatment for people of color, for women in general, for gay people, for trans people...it’s still raging. For every victory, like the Supreme Court case that said workplaces couldn’t fire people for being of LGBTQ+ status, there’s a crushing setback, like President Trump’s executive order to allow hospitals to discriminate against trans people. But things seem to be shifting again, and people are more and more stepping up to declare their dedication to the fight. So yes, if I were running a company, I would be taking notice, and I would be taking actions in this direction.

What I do not and will not understand are people who are somehow going to claim to be upset that WotC is going to take steps to try to not offend people in the future. It bothers me that people can’t say, “Well, I’m not personally offended, but I’m not black/Romani/gay/Asian/Native American/whatever. I think it’s great that WotC is trying to make sure D&D is more inclusive for everyone.” I don’t understand how anyone can play a game like D&D...a game that literally makes you walk in someone else’s shoes...and yet have so little ability to do it in your actual life. D&D literally shows you how different people with different abilities have to work together to help each other achieve a goal, and it’s sad to see that some who play it have so little regard for people who are different from themselves.

If you’ve stuck through this article this far, I wish I could offer you some great wisdom at the end. I guess I’ll just caution you to spend a moment thinking about what you’re going to say online before you say it. Once your words are out there, they’re very hard to take back, and that can have consequences. I try my best to make most of my interactions online with people positive ones. Even when I don’t agree with people, I try to be positive, and to educate them as to my side of the argument, rather than just blasting them with “No, you’re wrong for thinking that.” I thought long and hard before writing this article, and I thought long and hard before publishing it. I may lose readers over it, and, if so, that would be a shame, but I would rather be honest about who I am and what I believe.

So be kind to one another. To borrow a quote from Critical Role, “Don’t forget to love each other.” Roll those 20s. And we’ll be back on Thursday with a fun question about running a campaign that begins before Session Zero. Whaaaaat? You heard me. See you then!

[goldenraeofsun]

would you have me, would you want me?

Part I Part II

Part III

Dean jerks back. 

“I - yeah, I know we were friends,” he stammers.

“You were my only friend, Dean,” Castiel continues. “Do you know what it was like to see you, talk to you, every day for months, and then have it all taken away?”

Dean pales. He doesn’t say a word.

“Of course you don’t,” Castiel says bitterly. He glances around, but the hallway outside the gym is practically empty. 

Dean shifts his weight to his other food, more uncomfortable than Castiel has ever seen him.

“Look, I’m glad you are trying to make up for past mistakes,” Castiel says plainly. “That is an admirable thing. But I don’t know what you want from me now.”

Dean’s mouth opens, closes, and opens again. He shakes his head. “I - just to say sorry, I guess.”

“Apology accepted,” Castiel says stiffly. “If you’ll excuse me.”

This time Dean lets him go. 

* * *

Dean jerks back.

Cas’s hand shoots out, holding him in place. “Wait.”

Dean’s lips taste like punch drunk courage. His green eyes are wide as he freezes, close enough for his faint breaths to ghost over Cas’s face.

“Don’t go,” Cas says as his fingers tighten. “We can do it again, if you want.”

“If I…?” Dean drifts off, his mouth going slack.

Cas nods. “I’d like to.”

“Awesome.” Dean’s face breaks out into a wide smile. He scans the area, wincing as a loud cheer comes from party central behind them. “Want to go somewhere more private?” He gets to his feet and holds out his hand to Cas.

“Where?” Cas asks as he accepts the help up. 

Dean steps over the flimsy barrier to the next set of  stairs. “Tessa’s brother is away at college,” Dean says as Cas hesitates. “His room should be free.”

Cas falters. It was one thing to share a quick kiss on the stairs. But being alone with Dean, in a strange room, in a strange house? He isn’t so sure he’s ready.

But this is probably his only chance. In a month from now, they will go their separate ways. Cas can promise to visit until he is blue in the face, but none of Dean’s past history tells Cas he can wait around or would even want to. 

Not that Cas would ever ask Dean to do that. Cas is only two drinks in, hardly enough to make him forget all the rumors he heard about what Dean got up to at these parties. ‘Never caught with the same chick twice,’ as Pam said loudly in homeroom a few months ago.

“I want you,” Cas says bluntly.

Dean licks his lips. “Alright then.” He gestures up the stairs. “Lead the way.”

* * *

Castiel pauses outside the threshold. 

He probably shouldn’t have taken a detour to the library, but he couldn’t resist. Why would he go to his reunion and miss the one place he felt most at home? He certainly harbors no good memories of the gym .

He pushes against the door.

But it doesn’t budge. Castiel tries again.

Why, for god’s sake, would they lock up the library?

Castiel’s old teenage fantasy rears its ugly head. Dean, ducking beneath the study table. Slowly unzipping Cas’s pants, maybe palming him once or twice, before pulling out Cas’s cock and sucking like his life depends on it. Cas, white-knuckling the table, jaws clenched shut not to let a single sound escape.

Oh, that’s probably why.

Castiel lets go of the handle in disgust. What a disappointing night all around. Not that he should have had high expectations. He’d just thought -

Castiel shakes his head and turns away.

Only to bump into Dean.

“Thought I’d find you here,” Dean says with a forced grin. He jerks his head towards the library. “Hoping for a goodbye tour?”

Castiel throws the door a dirty look. “It’s locked.”

“Then you’re lucky you know a guy who can pick a lock.”

“Who?”

Dean snorts as he roots around in his pocket. “Me.” He pulls out two paper clips with a flourish and catches a glimpse of Castiel’s face. “You can’t tell me you’re surprised.”

Castiel stares at him. “What are you doing here?”

Dean shrugs before crouching in front of the library doors. “Was hoping to find you, actually.”

“Why?”

Dean’s head tilts up to sneak a look at Castiel before he gets back to the task at hand. “I figured I owed you. For being such a dick way back when.”

Castiel sighs. It’s been such a long, frustrating night, and he’s barely been at the reunion more than forty-five minutes. “It’s fine, Dean.”

“No, it’s not,” Dean says as he gives his makeshift tools an experimental wiggle. “I want to make it up to you.”

“By breaking and entering?”

“Pretty on-brand for me, if you think about it.”

Castiel leans against the wall next to the door to watch Dean work. “I suppose so.”

Dean huffs a short, breathy laugh. “Some things don’t change, I guess.”

Castiel shakes his head. They shouldn’t go down that road again. He asks, instead, “How is Sam doing?”

Dean’s hands twitch, and he swears under his breath. “You remember him?”

“We did share a number of car rides together.”

Dean’s brow furrows as he maneuvers one wire up and down in minute motions. “He’s at Stanford Law. Wrapping up his last year.”

“Congratulations,” Castiel says. Sam had always struck him as a bright kid, always interested in learning, even if all they spoke about was sentence structure.

“It was all him,” Dean grunts.

“We both know that’s not true,” Castiel points out.

Dean doesn’t respond.

* * *

Cas pauses outside the threshold. 

The closed bedroom door looks horribly imposing.

“You okay?” Dean asks as he pushes it open. 

“Yes,” Cas says. He darts inside before his nerves fail him.

“Alright,” Dean says as he shuts the door behind them. “Where were we?” He approaches Cas slowly, his eyes hungry.

Cas lets himself get backed against the bed in the center of the room, Dean’s body impossibly warm against his. Dean’s hands reach up to cradle his face like it is a breakable Christmas ornament. His fingers swipe over Cas’s cheekbones as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. 

Impatient, Cas surges forward to seal their mouths together in a complicated mess of teeth and tongue. Dean’s lips part with a noise of surprise, and Cas wastes no chance to shove his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. He kind of wiggles it around - none of the pornography he’s watched before focused on kissing, so he does his best approximation.

But Dean is pulling away after only a few seconds. “Hey, hold on.”

Cas draws up short. “What?”

“That was - look, was that your first kiss back there? On the stairs?” Dean jerks his head back the way they came.

Mortified, Cas nods. He doesn’t have the voice to say more.

Dean sits down on the bed. “Then you gotta slow down.” 

“You’re telling me to slow down?” Cas asks as he stares down at Dean, incredulous.

“Happens more often than you’d think,” Dean mutters. “Come on, you can’t say you liked that last one.”

“I - ” If the floor could open up and swallow him whole, Cas would pitch himself in head-first.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Dean says, pulling Cas closer so he can bracket his thighs with his legs. He gives him a reassuring squeeze with his knees. “’Bout time I got to teach you something, smarty pants.”

Cas looks away. “I suppose,” he says under his breath.

“Hey,” Dean says , drawing Cas’s reluctant gaze back to his face. “I want this too, okay?”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Even though,” he breaks off, unsure. “Still?”

Dean licked his lips. “You have no idea.”

* * *

“Jesus Christ,” Dean groans.

The library door gives way with a familiar click. “That took long enough,” he says. 

Castiel pushes himself off the wall. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Dean says with a small smile as he gestures for Castiel to go first.

Castiel sucks in a deep breath as the familiar smell of old books and something unique to the Edlund High library hits his nose. He steps forward, his eyes already peeled for the old favorites he could probably pick out blindfolded. He squints in the darkness as his fingers glide over the worn shelves, over the mysteries, the thrillers, the adventure novels. They gave him everything his normal high school life couldn’t.

“Ha!”

Cas jumps at the sound of Dean’s voice.

“What?” Cas asks as he finds him by the study tables. He stubbornly ignores the funny jolt to his stomach at the sight of Dean bending over the worn tabletops.

“They’re still there,” Dean says, pointing to the D.W and S.W etched into the wood, and, slightly below them, C.N.

“Of course they’re still there,” Castiel says, even as his fingers reach out to trace the decade-old etchings. “This is a public school. They hardly have the budget to replace furniture due to a little disfacement.”

Dean throws him a look. “You say things like that, and it makes me think you never got rid of that stick up your ass.”

“Excuse me?” Castiel tamps down on the flare of temper at the accusation. He won’t rise to Dean’s bait. “You work here. You probably know their yearly budget much better than I do.”

Dean crosses his arms across his chest. “Look, I know Carver’s better off than we are. But you don’t have to be all high and mighty about it.”

“I... wasn’t?” Castiel says, puzzled. “It’s a simple fact. I have been in education for a number of years. I have worked in schools like this before.” He taps the C. “I was let go from my last position for keeping a spare loaf of bread in my desk and a jar of peanut butter for students who couldn’t afford lunch.”

“They fired you for that?” Dean asks, his rigid posture loosening.

“I think it was the lying, more than anything else,” Castiel says as he looks up. “I told them I was saving it for myself, but then they looked at my students’ lunch balances, and put two and two together.” He smiles wryly. “I was actually happy to leave - not my students, of course, but the administration was a nightmare.”

“Sounds like,” Dean says, disgusted. He gestures around the library. “I don’t know if you heard, but Principal Singer retired a few years ago. Principal Mills is pretty great, though,” Dean says as he perches on the study table, staring around. “There’s no way she’d fire any of us for something like that.”

“Yes, well,” Castiel swallows. “I needed a change in scenery after that, so-”

“So you decided to shack it up with Yacht Club Jr.?”

Castiel sighs. “It’s not a perfect fit,” he says eventually. “But I needed a job, and my mother was able to pull some strings in that school district since she moved there a few years ago.”

“Your mom?” Dean asks, eyebrows raised.

Castiel nods. “We still don’t see eye-to-eye about most things,” he says, looking away, “But she still wants me to succeed. Or, at the very least, be able to pay rent and feed myself.”

“And your dad?” Dean asks tentatively.

“I haven’t heard from him in ten years,” Castiel says heavily. He pulls out one of the chairs and sits down. “He sent me a card for my birthday my first year of college, and then nothing.”

“What a fucking dick.”

Castiel ignores the old pang of hurt and reflexive urge to defend his father. Instead, he asks, “And yours?”

“Died in a car accident about eight years ago,” Dean says shortly.

Castiel’s heart twinges. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Dean waves off his apology. “I’ve come to terms with it,” he says in a way that conveys the exact opposite.

“I know he was a big presence in your life.”

“When he was there,” Dean adds bitterly.

“And when he wasn’t,” Castiel says sharply. “He was a big influence on you, even when he wasn’t physically present - unlike my father.”

“Yeah, well, go Team Daddy Issues,” Dean says, rolling his eyes. 

* * *

“Jesus Christ,” Dean groans.

Cas freezes.

“No, no,” Dean hisses beneath him, “Keep going.”

Biting his lip, Cas bucks his hips again, grinding their clothed cocks together.

“You’re killing me here,” Dean pants as his fingers dig into the meat of Cas’s ass. “Please tell me I can take your pants off now. I wanna feel you.”

“I - yes, of course,” Cas stutters as he lifts off Dean and tries to unbutton his jeans.

“Here,” Dean says, rolling over to a sitting position. He reaches for Cas, one hand settling possessively on his side, the pad of his thumb stroking a burning trail right under the jut of his hip. Cas has never been sensitive there before. He shivers.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Dean murmurs, his eyes rising briefly to catch Cas’s heated face before unzipping his pants and pushing them down his legs. “C’mere.”

“But you,” Cas protests weakly, gesturing to Dean’s own state of dress.

Dean wiggles out of his pants, muttering, “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

“Um,” Cas hesitates as Dean kicks his jeans to the floor. “What now?”

“Now, if you’ll let me,” Dean licks his lips, “I’m going to put my mouth on you and suck you off until you come.”

Cas swallows instinctually, a little lightheaded. Maybe the alcohol is finally catching up to him; maybe there is no blood left for his brain after rushing south to his cock. “I’d like that,” he says hoarsely once he gathers enough sense to form a full sentence.

“I had a hunch you might,” Dean says wryly. “Here, lay down. I’ll get on top of you.”

Cas scrambles onto the bed, his heart hammering in his chest as Dean peels down his briefs. He fists the sheets, fighting the urge to turn over and hide himself from Dean’s gaze. He feels impossibly naked, even though his shirt is still on.

“Like I said, gorgeous,” Dean says, and some of Cas’s anxieties calm. Dean bends down, crouching over Cas’s bare legs. “Let me know if I do something you don’t like,” he says, meeting Cas’s gaze squarely. 

“Have you done this before?” Cas asks.

Dean nods as he traces a feather-light finger down Cas’s inner thigh. “A couple of times.”

Cas frowns before he can rein his jealousy in.

“I’ve never got a bad review before,” Dean says slyly, misreading Cas’s reaction completely. He trails his finger back up towards Cas’s groin on the other leg.

Cas’s cock twitches involuntarily in response.

“Eager, angel?” Dean asks, his eyes dancing.

Cas inhales a shuddering breath. “You have no idea.”

Dean grins. “Just you wait.”

“I am waiting, Dean,” Cas says, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. The teasing, the smiles, that look in Dean’s eye, none of Cas’s fantasies prepared him for the real thing.

Dean bends down and licks a long, slow stripe up Cas’s cock.

“Dean!”

Chuckling to himself, Dean takes Cas in hand and gives him a few experimental pumps. “You gotta be quiet,” he says in a low voice. “We’re not supposed to be here, remember?”

Cas lets out a little whimper, straining with everything he had not to come.

“That’s it,” Dean says gently as he leans in closer. “I got you, Cas.”

Onto Part IV

[aion-rsa]

Best Movies Coming to Netflix in May 2021

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Movies are slowly coming back to life at the cinemas. You can see it with each glowing report about a Godzilla vs. Kong or Mortal Kombat doing solid business. And for those with more discerning tastes, films like In the Heights and Those Who Wish Me Dead are definitely going to make their release dates.

Nonetheless, there are many who are understandably not ready to go back to theaters (or have yet to get an HBO Max subscription). Thus Netflix remains an old reliable option. While the Netflix movie selection can be narrow, each month offers some worthwhile gems to revisit or even discover. And May has a surprisingly robust group of Hollywood films from the last 40 years coming to the streaming service on May 1. Here are the best ones.

Back to the Future (1985)

Great Scott! Back to the Future is coming to Netflix. As one of the most beloved films of the 1980s—if not ever—it’s doubtful we need to explain in great detail why this is exciting news. From its star-making turn by Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly to the grand musical score by Alan Silvestri, everything about this movie justworks. Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale’s script is like a Swiss watch in precision, paying off every single setup in the film’s first act when Marty commandeers a time machine made by Doc Brown (a lovable Christopher Lloyd) and accidentally travels from 1985 to 1955… to meet his parents as teenagers!

More time has passed since the movie’s release than the once massive generational gap between the film’s primarily ‘50s setting and 1985. Yet it still plays as a timeless story about family, time travel, and manure. Large piles of manure. By the way, the rest of the Back to the Future trilogy is coming to Netflix, too.

Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (2009)

Forget about all the “sad” dog movies of the last decade where canines have funny voiceover narrations and then die on repeat. Hachi: A Dog’s Tale is a very bitter, bittersweet dog’s journey based on a harder truth. A remake of the 1980s Japanese film, Hachikō Monogatari, this American movie is based on the real events surrounding Hachikō, an Akita dog who lived in 1920s Japan. Every day Hachikō would run to the train station, awaiting his master’s return from work. One day, after a fatal stroke, his master never returned. Yet for another 10 years, the dog would escape its various new owners and spend the afternoon waiting at the station.

Directed by The Cider House Rules’ Lasse Hallström, Hachi captures this anecdote about a dog’s loyalty with grace and genuine sweetness. But you’re not going to get through it dry-eyed.

The Land Before Time (1988)

Before it birthed a string of straight-to-video movies meant to babysit pint-sized millennials, the original Land Before Time was a generational touchstone for childhoods in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Overseen by Don Bluth at the height of his talent, and in partnership with Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment, The Land Before Time is a marvel in animation from the period before Disney Animation’s renaissance. It follows an assortment of baby dinosaurs, including a recently orphaned “longneck” named Littlefoot, after a horrible earthquake has rained devastation on all the isolated herbivores. But together they may just find salvation in a land called the Great Valley.

Essentially a dinosaur road movie for children, to the modern eye it’s told with a surprisingly delicate sensitivity. There is no fourth-wall breaking humor and sideways smirks here. It’s a very earnest fairytale captured in the lost art of hand-drawn animation.

The Lovely Bones (2009)

Based on Alice Sebold’s 2002 bestselling book of the same name, The Lovely Bones has a tough premise: a teen girl is raped and murdered, and goes to heaven where she watches her loved ones attempt to process and move on after her disappearance. The debut novel was not only very popular, but generally well-received for its treatment of trauma, sexual assault, and grief.

The movie, directed by Peter Jackson and starring Saoirse Ronan, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon, and Stanley Tucci, among others… was not as well received, fairly criticized for its prioritization of CGI heavenly visuals over a nuanced, character-driven story. You may wonder, then, why we’re recommending a movie that wasn’t great? Because The Lovely Bones is a fascinating watch for those interested in the limits of adaptation and, in particular, how a great filmmaker with expansive resources (including a very talented cast) can fail if they’re not the right person for the job. 

Mystic River (2003)

As one of Clint Eastwood’s best films as director, Mystic River was the first cinematic adaptation of a Dennis Lehane novel, and the author’s hardboiled vision of Boston’s tragically seedy underbelly is well realized here. As much about the hard luck community on the South Side as the story of three men, it nonetheless tracks how neighborhood lives intersect.

We meet three boyhood friends in the movie’s unnerving opening and then jump to their bitter middle age. Oe of them, reformed gangster Jimmy (Sean Penn), has a daughter who’s been found murdered in a gutter. His onetime pal Sean (Kevin Bacon), now a detective, swears he’ll figure out who the killer is, and both men’s estranged acquaintance Dave (Tim Robbins) knows more than he’s letting on. All three’s fates are interlinked in this operatic passion play about the traumas we keep hidden until we’re drowning in regret.

Notting Hill (1999)

Though Four Weddings and a Funeral might have put writer Richard Curtis and star Hugh Grant on the map as the kings of ‘90s British romance, Notting Hill is arguably their true pinnacle. Grant plays a foppish bookshop owner who happens to meet the most famous actress in the world, Anna Scott (played by Julia Roberts who might just have been the most famous actress in the world at that time) when she stumbles into his shop.

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From the sympathy brownie competition, the junket where Grant’s William Thacker has to pretend to be a journalist from Horse & Hound, and Rhys Ifans in his pants, there are plenty of funny, moving moments. But it’s the two montage scenes—a walk through Notting Hill as seasons change to Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine,” and the final montage to Elvis Costello’s “She”—that would melt the hardest of hearts. Rom-com perfection.

Scarface (1983)

Reviews were not initially kind to Scarface, director Brian de Palma’s explosive three-hour remake of the 1932 gangster classic starring Paul Muni (that in turn was based on a novel which loosely chronicled the rise of Al Capone). Written by Oliver Stone and starring Al Pacino as psychopathic Cuban refugee-turned-drug-kingpin Tony Montana, the 1983 film was excoriated by critics for its relentlessly graphic violence, excessive foul language, and over-the-top performances, especially by its leading man. But critics at the time missed the point: Scarface was a reflection of its time—the hedonistic, greed-driven, cocaine-fueled ‘80s—and was appropriately and utterly crazed as a result.

The film did mark the moment when Pacino transitioned from intense, thoughtful character actor to (mostly) histrionic circus barker, but he leaves it all on the field and his mania drives the fast-paced film to its epic, bloodsoaked, and unbelievable (in all aspects of the word) conclusion. As a metaphor for the insane decade of excess that birthed it, Scarface is riveting, breathless, occasionally shocking and often unintentionally hilarious. It’s the gangster movie on coke.

State of Play (2009)

Kevin Macdonald’s remake of a British miniseries by the same name turned out to be a strong thriller in its own right. With a whip smart script by Tony Gilroy and Billy Ray, this movie doubles as both an enjoyable investigative procedural and a love letter to journalism just as newspapers were beginning to die out in the 2000s. Russell Crowe plays Cal McAffrey in the film, the last of the old school guard of reporters, but his ethics will be challenged when the congressman with a dead young woman on his staff turns out to be his old college buddy (Ben Affleck). Rachel McAdams also stars as a young blogger who learns the thrill of chasing a story that takes more than an afternoon to research. Helen Mirren, Robin Wright, and Jeff Daniels also star.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Remember when they made comedies for adults? The Whole Nine Yards is one such anomaly. Really a buddy film about a suicidal dentist (Matthew Perry) and a gangster living under a phony alias who moves in next door (Bruce Willis in one of his last truly charming performances), this giggles and gangsters laugher is a secretly delightful ensemble movie with a deep bench of talent. Indeed, Kevin Pollack, Amanda Peet, Nastsha Henstridge, and Michael Clarke Duncan, as the cuddliest gangster you’ll ever see punch your protagonist in the balls until he’s pissing blood, all get to shine. With a twisty plot, it’s an R-rated throwback to the type of screwball shenanigans that were once Hollywood’s bread and butter.

Zombieland (2009)

It’s rare when calling something the second best zombie comedy ever made is high praise, but in a horror subgenre that also includes Shaun of the Dead, this is high praise for Zombieland. As an R-rated teen comedy, one suspects the filmmakers almost lucked into the absurdly talented cast they assembled with Emma Stone, Jessie Eisenberg, and Woody Harrelson. In the years since this movie’s release, all three were nominated for Oscars (Stone even won one), but in ’09 they’re just having a blast with this goofy stoner hybrid about a dysfunctional makeshift family having fun during the zombie apocalypse.

Also, it features arguably the greatest comedy cameo ever conceived. If you haven’t seen it, I’m not going to spoil it for you here either…

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[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Hayloft - Part 1

Series Masterlist - Bucky Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Summary: A young girl finds a soldier hiding in the hayloft on her father’s farm. Intrigued, she visits him more and more until her father finds out and puts him to work. As they grow closer, something else grows too.

Pairing: James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes x OC Jenny Richelle “Ricky” Hill

Warning: Strong language, inaccurate war description

Author’s note: Based on the song Hayloft by Mother Mother and the lovestory of my grandparents. I am Dutch and the war was a bit different here, so I will be basing this on the stories I’ve heard about my grandparents.

Word count: 2624

‘Alpine, what are you playing at,‘ the woman laughs as she sees the cat trying to bury itself with him, ‘come on, I got some scraps left for you.‘ The cat doesn’t list to her. The girl sighs and climbs onto the hayloft, letting herself fall onto the hay just inches from where he’s laying. He feels his heart beating faster and faster.

‘What are you doing,‘ she laughs while he tries to hold his breath and stay motionless. Nerves rush through his body as he realizes there is nowhere else to go. That, or he has to throw this girl off the hayloft. There are a thousand scenarios running in his head, but it’s either the end of him or the end of the girl. He’s going to have to go on the run again. How will he keep her quiet? Can he even keep her quiet? There’s a whole family in the house. Alarm bells go off everywhere in his mind, but he’s frozen in shock. ‘What do you have there?‘ He feels the cat has gotten his shirt in its mouth and it pulling on it. Next he hears is a gasp and a poking at his back. The poking is so gentle. Almost like she’s teasing him. ‘Are you dead or hiding?‘ Her gentle, unbothered voice surprises him. He gets up carefully, wiping the hay off his face. She chuckles at the sight of him and brushes a few strands of hay off his shoulder. ‘Hiding, I’m sorry,‘ he manages to mutter while continuing to study the face of the girl for any signs of fear or anger. But she looks just fine, not even slightly scared of having a strange man in the hayloft. ‘You chose the wrong town to hide,‘ the girl tells him while the cat snuggles up on his lap again, ‘they just hung your picture in the post office today. James Barnes right?‘ He nods. ‘I’m Jenny Hill, nice to meet you James.‘ ‘Are you going to turn me in Jenny,‘ he asks, despair written everywhere where the fear is less visible. He looks like he’s trembling. Jenny looks him up and down. He looks much more rugged than his picture. James has stubble and much longer hair than he has in the clean picture in the post office. She could barely tell it was him if her gaze hadn’t lingered on his picture a little longer than it should have. ‘No,‘ she tells him, ‘but you can’t stay here for nothing. People will get suspicious. I’ll ask my father if we can take in another.‘ She walks back over to the ladder. ‘Another?‘ She looks back at him with a smile and he takes a second to take her in. Bright blue eyes, light-brown waves brushing her shoulders, heart-shaped lips, a button nose, and straight eyebrows. She looks mellow, gentle, but there’s this glimmer in her eyes. There’s something mischievous about her. ‘Yeah, you don’t think you’re the only runner right?‘ The girl leaves him on the hayloft with Alpine while he tries to gather his thoughts. This just might be the best case scenario, if she isn’t just playing it up. ‘Oi, stowaway!‘ A low, male voice startles James. He peeks over the edge of the hayloft and sees an older man standing at the bottom. ‘What’s your deal? Why are you running?‘ ‘I’m my mother’s only son, she asked me to stay out of the army,‘ James explains. ‘Family man,‘ the man grumbles and nods, ‘fine, come down. We got some food left.‘ He climbs down the ladder and gets a pat on the shoulder, as well as a strong handshake from the man. He’s welcomed with open arms by a man he doesn’t know in the most uncertain time. He could be a spy, he could be a soldier, he could rat on them, but they just open up to him. ‘I’m Oliver Hill, you met my daughter Jenny,‘ he gestures at the girl standing in the doorway of the farmhouse while the other children walk in, ‘youngest son is called Nathan, that’s Wesley, and this is Penny. My wife’s name is Juliette, but you will address her as misses Hill.‘ ‘Of course sir,‘ James nods, ‘I’m James Barnes.‘ ‘Let me get you to the shed so you can mee the others,‘ Oliver grumbles, ‘Jenny, set the table for the lads.‘ ‘Yes father,‘ Jenny winks at James with this most enchanting smile on her lips. If there would be something like love at first sight, James had just experienced it but he can’t forget that his feelings might be corrupted because she helped him. These are uncertain times. Feelings can be strange. Oliver opens the shed. Inside James sees two bunk beds that seem to have been hand made, a table in the corner of the room with three chairs, and a crate with books in it. It’s not much, but it’s enough. ‘Boys, this is James Barnes. He’ll be helping us out,‘ Oliver calls into the shed.  One of the two guys inside jumps of the top bunk and shakes James’ hand with a big smile. ‘Johnny Meadow, nice to meet you,‘ he says, ‘this is Timothy Leads. He doesn’t talk much.‘ ‘That’s alright,‘ James nods, ‘nice to meet you two.‘ ‘You’ve found the right spot James,‘ Johnny grins, ‘there aren’t many with such a good heart as mister Hill.‘ ‘Flattery will get you nowhere boy,‘ mister hill grumbles, ‘you better watch it or I’ll get the boys to wake you for a week.‘ ‘I was just joking sir,‘ Johnny chuckles, ‘but I don’t think our new lad will be ok if you do. He looks a little jumpy. You ok James?‘ ‘Yeah, yeah, just been through it the past days,‘ James tries to brush it off like it’s nothing, but both boys can tell something’s up with him. There’s something up with all of them. Running away from everything makes everyone jumpy. ‘Oi, stable boys,‘ Jenny calls with a cheeky grin on her face, ‘dinner’s ready.‘ The two almost dash past James and Oliver. Oliver puts his hand on James’ shoulder. ‘Listen boy, you can’t stay here for nothing,‘ he tells him, ‘these boys work for me in exchange for food and shelter. That’s what I expect from you as well. I don’t need you to talk or tell us your whole life story. All I ask is that you keep your head down and hide when I tell you to, alright?‘ ‘Yes sir.‘ ‘James,‘ he looks up at the sound of his voice and sees Jenny waving at him, ‘you better get in here before the others eat it all.‘ Oliver chuckles. ‘You better get in there boy. Oh, if you have anyone you need to contact, Jenny works at the post office. She can sneak some letters past,‘ Oliver grumbles at the boy and walks with him into the house.

James almost jumps out of his skin at the sound of knocking on the door of the shed. He can barely keep himself from falling out the bed. The door opens, letting in the sunlight and the other boys groan. ‘Good morning gents,‘ Jenny says cheerfully and puts half a loaf of bread, half a stick of butter, six slices of cheese, and a bottle of milk on the table along with a knife to slice the bread and a butter-knife to spread the butter. ‘Morning miss Hill, did you sleep well,‘ Timothy asks her while he rubs her eyes. ‘Slept wonderfully, you guys do okay?‘ ‘We did alright,‘ Johnny smiles at her, ‘what’cha got there?‘ ‘Some clothes for James,‘ she hums and puts them down by his feet, ‘drop your dirty clothes in the hamper by the back door. Mother will give them a wash.‘ ‘Thank you so, so much,‘ James lulls, ‘you have been way too kind.‘ ‘Nonsense,‘ Jenny huffs, ‘we should all be a little kinder to each other, especially now. Oh, and I traded some books with my coworker, Michelle. So I got some new things for you to read. No terrible romance novels this time. I’ll drop them off in the afternoon.‘ ‘Thank you so much Jenny,‘ Timothy mumbles, still trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. ‘Now get up you lazy bastards,‘ she laughs, ‘my father will have you if you’re not ready by six.‘ She pats down the wrinkles in her blouse and makes sure her skirt is on straight while she’s almost making her leave. ‘Gosh, when’d you get so stuck-up,‘ Johnny chuckles and sits up on his bed, ‘you were much nicer in high school.‘ She winks at him as she buttons her waistcoat and leaves, closing the door behind her. James yawns and stretches. ‘You went to school with her,‘ he asks Johnny, ‘how old are you now?‘ ‘21,‘ he sighs, ‘Timothy just turned 18. How about you?‘ He pulls his shirt over his head while he talks. ‘23.‘ James reaches for the shirt Jenny brought him. ‘Did she do this for both of you?‘ Timothy and Johnny share a look. Timothy nods. ’Yeah, they have some clothes for guys around our age,’ he mutters. Johnny rubs his head for a second as he sees James face contort into a question mark. He sighs, knowing he’ll have to explain. ‘Look, we didn’t tell you this but this family already lost people. They know the hurt and they don’t want others to suffer it, so they help wherever they can even if it puts them all in danger,‘ Johnny explains, ‘so no more questions. Just work and keep your head down.’

Jenny walks into work and looks at the cork board. There are two pictures gone. A gasp leaves her mouth. Michelle just comes walking from the back with two cups of coffee. ‘Ah Jenny, good morning doll,‘ she smiles and hands her a cup. ‘Morning Michelle,‘ she forces a smile, ‘say, weren’t there two others on the board?‘ ‘Oh yes, they took off two this morning.‘ ‘What does that mean?‘ ‘From what they told me, it could mean one of three things,‘ Michelle sums up, ‘they could either be found, spotted, or dead.‘ Jenny’s eyes fall on the pictures of Johnny, James, and Timothy. They’re still there. At least that means they haven’t been spotted. Yet. ‘What a shame,‘ she hums and walks behind her desk, ‘all these young men laid to rest.‘ ‘It’s a shame. Builds character though,‘ Michelle shrugs like she doesn’t care at all. But just because she got out of it well, doesn’t mean others want to lose their lovers, their brothers, their sons. ‘Michelle, you can’t say that,‘ Jenny snaps at her, ‘they’re sending those poor boys to die.‘ ‘Not all of them are the same as Casper,‘ she argues, ‘some are trained.‘ ‘Casper was trained.‘ Jenny looks close to rage as Michelle realizes what she just implied. No, it’s not a good look to insult someone’s dead brother. Not a good look indeed. ‘Okay, enough of this, I have your route dotted out in the back. Get to work.‘ Oh if looks could kill.

James, Johnny, and Timothy sit under a tree by the farmhouse in the cool grass, picking at it, sharing a cigarette, and chatting away. The watch Jenny arrive back with a frown on her face. They see how she throws her bike to the side with teary eyes and stomps inside. ‘What’s up with her,‘ James asks the other two. ‘Probably her coworker. From what I’ve heard the bitch can be quite insensitive,‘ Johnny laughs. James can’t really find it in himself to laugh along. Seems to him Jenny has a tough time as well. A few minutes pass and the door opens again. Jenny walks over to them, picking the cigarette from James’ fingers and taking a deep drag while plopping down in the grass with them. She keeps the thing in her mouth and smokes it faster than a dragon. ‘Something tells me you’ve done that before,‘ James laughs as he picks the near finished cigarette from het lips, takes the last drag, and puts it out on an ashtray that mister Hill gave them along with the cigarettes. ‘Fuck you,‘ she mumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest. ‘Oh come on doll, don’t be like that,‘ Johnny chuckles, giving her a new cigarette. She sticks it between her lips and Timothy lights it for her with the zippo she gave him at one point. ‘Call me doll one more time and I will cut your tongue clean out your mouth,‘ she mumbles, chin pressed against her knees as she wraps her arms around them. Occassionally letting one arm loose to take a drag from het cigarette. ‘Bad day,‘ Timothy asks with a nervous smile. ‘Michelle is such a bi-‘ ‘Language,‘ Johnny tells her with a smirk. ‘Suck my dick,‘ she tells him, ‘Michelle was saying the war builds character and implied that Casper died because he wasn’t trained. He was a goddamn sniper for fucks sake!‘ ‘I’m sorry, who’s Casper,‘ James asks, gaining a furious glare from Jenny, ‘if you don’t mind me asking.‘ ‘I do mind,‘ she hums, ‘but he’s my brother. He had just turned twenty when they took him away. Only took a few months before we got the letter.‘ ‘I’m sorry to hear,‘ he lets his head hang a little, trying to see if she’s angry at him from his hunched position. She takes a drag and pushes a small smile on her face. ‘It’s fine. You didn’t know.‘ She passes the cigarette to Timothy, who quickly passes it to Johnny with a disgusted look on his face. ‘Good, well, I left the books in the house. You can take them with you after dinner.‘ ‘You’re not joining us for dinner,‘ Johnny asks. ‘I am, but wouldn’t it be blasphomy to let a poor weak maiden carry all those heavy books herself when there’s three strong men in the house,‘ she puts on theatrics while she says it. James can’t help but smile at her performance. Talking to them clearly cheered her up a bit.  ‘No, but I’m going to have to scrub my mouth so dad doesn’t find out I smoked. I’ll see you guys in a minute.‘ She jogs off into the house. James watches her go with stars in his eyes. ‘She always like this?‘ ‘Much, much worse,‘ Johnny laughs, seeing the amazed look on the man’s face, ‘my man, you have it bad.‘ ‘What?‘ Johnny continues to laugh and gets up from his place, patting James on the shoulder before walking back to the shed with the cigarette and the ashtray. ‘Did I do something?‘ James looks at Timothy, but he just shrugs.

After dinner, Jenny sits down in the same spot behind the farmhouse with a book. While the other boys are playing cards, James decided to look for that same spot with a book of his own. He shoots her a recognizing smile and sits down with her in silence. They read for a minute before the need to say anything becomes too much to James. ‘You alright doll?‘ ‘I thought I made it clear I don’t want to be called doll,‘ she remarks, keeping her eyes on her book. ‘I’m sorry, how may I call you miss,‘ he asks properly. ‘Just call me Jenny.‘ ‘What are you reading Jenny?‘ ‘What’s it to you James?‘ ‘Just curious, that’s all.‘ He watches as a smile starts tugging on the corners of her lips. She tries to suppress it, but the sparkle in her eyes is clear as day. ‘Of sons and lovers,‘ she hums, showing him the front, ‘do you know it?‘ ‘Heard of it, haven’t had the chance to read it,‘ he answers, ‘will you read it to me?‘

[inclineto]

Books, July - August 2020

The Lawrence Browne Affair - Cat Sebastian [interesting: I liked this a whole lot more on rereading than I did the first time]

Notes from an Apocalypse: A Personal Journey to the End of the World and Back - Mark O’Connell [much funnier than I expected a book featuring this many libertarians to be; also, god damn Ayn Rand and her community- and compassion-fearing nihilistic fanboys]

Queenie - Candice Carty-Williams

Solitaire - Kelley Eskridge * [the only surprise is that I waited until Day 111 of isolation to reread this]

In Praise of Paths: Walking Through Time and Nature - Torbjørn Ekelund, translated by Becky L. Crook *

Her Body and Other Parties - Carmen Maria Machado

Crystal Line - Anne McCaffrey

A Children’s Bible - Lydia Millet *

Daughter of Witches - Patricia C. Wrede

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller [you know, I can understand why other people despise this take, but it worked for me]

Folly - Laurie R. King

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld - Patricia McKillip

Boyfriend Material - Alexis Hall [The novel version of spending Friday night home alone on the couch with red wine and French bread-and-butter. Highly satisfying in the moment, and ruthlessly wink-and-nod in-the-know about (a particular sort of) internet culture, in a way that means it should be read now and not later. Although it probably doesn’t really need to be over 400 pages long, I’m not sure what I’d cut, and anyway there’s PINING. (But also: I think this needs a warning for somewhat disordered eating, which is a) a minor but believable characterization detail, and b) not the point of the novel at all, but c) it nagged at me in a really unpleasant way throughout until it was acknowledged)]

An Extraordinary Union - Alyssa Cole

Spirits Abroad - Zen Cho

The Equivalents: A Story of Art, Female Friendship, and Liberation in the 1960s - Maggie Doherty

The Ten Thousand Doors of January - Alix E. Harrow

Something to Talk About - Meryl Wilsner

The Terracotta Bride - Zen Cho

Under Another Sky: Journeys in Roman Britain - Charlotte Higgins

Stormsong - C. L. Polk

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

The Only Gold - Tamara Allen [new favorite terrible penis euphemism: “the instrument of contention”]

The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin

The Snow Queen - Eileen Kernaghan

Wives and Daughters - Elizabeth Gaskell [her character sketches, my god: ”Let Cynthia be ever so proud, ever so glad, or so grateful, or even indignant, remorseful, grieved or sorry, the very fact that she was expected by another to entertain any of these emotions, would have been enough to prevent her expressing them.”]

Fallen into the Pit - Ellis Peters

These Old Shades - Georgette Heyer *

The Genius of Birds - Jennifer Ackerman

Two Rogues Make a Right - Cat Sebastian [conclusion: the Sedgwicks are simply too wholesome for my taste, but I’m probably going to end up rereading the one with the vicar and the ducks anyway]

The Anarchy: The East India Company, Corporate Violence, and the Pillage of an Empire - William Dalrymple [dnf]

The Doctor’s Discretion - EE Ottoman

The Bishop’s Heir - Katherine Kurtz

The Life and (Medieval) Times of Kit Sweetly - Jamie Pacton

This Other London: Adventures in the Overlooked City - John Rogers [dnf]

Death and the Joyful Woman - Ellis Peters

The Glass Hotel - Emily St. John Mandel

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

The King’s Justice - Katherine Kurtz 

Catherine House - Elisabeth Thomas

Flight of a Witch - Ellis Peters

Blackfish City - Sam J. Miller [dnf]

Crooked Hallelujah - Kelli Jo Ford

Devil’s Cub - Georgette Heyer * [on the one hand, it’s appalling that we’re meant to cheer for Dominic; on the other, chapter 18 is a comic masterpiece]

A Duke by Default - Alyssa Cole

The Night Watch - Sarah Waters

 It Takes Two to Tumble - Cat Sebastian [just as I predicted! and I remain unconvinced by these ducks; after all, I have met a duck]

Hild - Nicola Griffith

Water, Ice & Stone: Science and Memory on the Antarctic Lakes - Bill Green [dnf]

Have His Carcase - Dorothy L. Sayers [I do appreciate how Sayers juggles tonal registers, in order to break up the novel’s prevailing humor - ”A solitary rock is always attractive. All right-minded people feel an overwhelming desire to scale and sit upon it.” - with those raging gratitude-and-obligation scenes and the occasional peek at decisions mercenary and necessary.

A Study in Honor - Claire O’Dell [there’s something interesting here about the world-building dangers of using the present to establish the near future with too much specificity - I know most the books Watson is reading; I like many of them; I realize they’re name-dropped in part as thanks and homage; and I still found myself thinking, “has no one written anything since 2015?”]

The Sugared Game - KJ Charles [no surprise, Maisie and Phoebe are my favorites...now kiss]

Sorcery and Cecilia, or, The Enchanted Chocolate Pot: being the correspondence of two Young Ladies of Quality regarding Various Scandals in London and the Country - Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer * [yay!]