#this has been my comfort scenario for the last like 4 years I think about them so much

[vampirewwingz]

regressor Mikan who plays doctor with her toys & stuffies in incredible, medically accurate detail

and babysitter Hajime who is frightened and disturbed by the teddy gray's anatomy episode he's being shown but is supportive anyway and still asks questions so she gets the chance to share

[queenk00k]

cupid's lead arrows // rafe cameron

Requested by anon

Request: Hi girl I love your writing 🫶🏻 Can you write about Rafe, who has been Reader’s best friend forever, but secretly has a crush on her? One day, Reader confesses that she’s dating someone, and Rafe does everything he can to break them up.

Summary: You finally get a boyfriend but something, or someone, seems intent on keeping you apart.

Word count: 1.8k

Includes: This is literally all angst sorry

Note: My first Outer Banks fic in over 4 years lol please be kind! I got a little carried away...this lends itself to a part 2, if anyone likes it.

It’s not always a walk in the park when you’re Rafe Cameron’s best friend.

You’ve been inseparable since the first day of high school when you got paired together for a semester long project. Study sessions in the library (well, you would study, and Rafe would flirt with the cute library monitor) turned into after school hangouts at Tannyhill, which turned into hosting parties and heading to college together.

Did you ever have a crush on your best friend? Well fuck, have you seen him?

Not only is he gorgeous but you got to experience a whole different side of Rafe that not everyone got to see, the sweet side – loyal, caring, and pretty soft behind the scenes.

You spent years pining after Rafe, silently and stoically of course, never wanting to ruin your friendship by letting him know how you felt. You figured it was for the best and besides, you had lived through enough of Rafe’s girlfriends to know you weren’t ever going to be his type.

You’ve seen each other’s highest highs and lowest lows which, unfortunately for you both, Rafe seemed to have more than his fair share of. Much to the disappointment of your parents and the shock of your friends, you stuck by Rafe’s side through his drug addiction and his drinking problems and were there to pick up the pieces after his father died. Rafe, in turn, had your back when you had blow up fights with your mother and comforted you when you had problems with your friends.

Now, two years out of college and with Rafe mostly sober, you didn’t think there was anything you two couldn’t handle, nothing you couldn’t face together, nothing that could ever come between you.

Until you started dating Parker.

Rafe seemed happy for you when you first told him, hugging you and telling you he was proud of you for “finally getting some.” He was nice to Parker (by Rafe’s standards, which really meant not going out of his way to intimidate the guy) when you brought him to the beach and introduced them.

But as the weeks went by, you noticed a subtle shift in Rafe’s behaviour. You kept telling yourself you were being paranoid, that there’s no way Rafe could have an issue with Parker. He told you he was happy for you, right? And unlike the last potential boyfriends, Rafe didn’t try to scare him off.

But something was off.

You noticed Rafe was falling back into old habits that scared you. He was drinking more, often double parked at parties, and either loud and belligerent or sulking on his own in a corner.

And then then the incidents began. At first you just thought it was shit luck, but then it just started to feel like the universe was conspiring against you and Parker.

Turns out Rafe was conspiring against you and Parker.

It started when Parker seemingly ghosted you on one of your Friday night dates, leaving you alone and upset at the wharf before Rafe picked you up. Parker swore he had car issues, both his front tires punctured, and you figured that was a reasonable excuse.

Then the night of the annual bonfire, a harmless game of ‘never have I ever’ turned sour when Rafe and Topper kept coming up with the most oddly specific scenarios. Each of them left Parker putting down his fingers, looking sheepishly over at you as your cheeks turned red from embarrassment before you got up and left the circle, Rafe raising a beer bottle to his lips as he watched you intently. He followed after you that night and you melted into his arms, naïvely assuming your best friend was comforting you without an ulterior motive.

And now the worst of all – Topper had cornered you as you were leaving the driving range to ask if you knew Parker was spending time with his ex, and you finally snapped.

“Where did you hear this, Topper? Who told you?���

And because Topper was, above all, really just spineless, you got the answer out of him straight away.

Rafe. At the scene of the crime, three times in a row. What a fucking coincidence.

So, you decided you’d had enough of this bullshit, of Rafe playing games with your relationship, and you drove over to his house, marched up to his front door and banged on it with your fist until he finally opened up.

“Y/N!” he said, looking genuinely excited to see you. “What are you doing here?”

You took a deep breath, willing yourself not to lose your shit just yet, not to get angry until you actually knew the truth.

“Do you like Parker? Do you want me to be with him?”

Rafe blinked at you, his blue eyes narrowing in confusion.

“What? I don’t-”

“Tell me the truth,” you cut in. “I want to hear you say it.”

Rafe stepped over the threshold and gently closed the door behind him, clearing his throat before he answered.

“No. I don’t, and I want you to break up with him,” he said, folding his arms.

You huffed out a humourless laugh.

“Right, well, that’s not going to happen. Thanks a lot,” you say, willing yourself not to cry as you turn around and walk away from your best friend.

“Y/N, please come back. I have my reasons!” Rafe raises his voice as he calls out to you.

“Why do you care so much? Is this some fake chivalrous ‘if I can’t have you, no one can’ bullshit? Just leave me alone, Rafe.” You say as you clamber down the front steps and start walking to your car.

“Because I love you, alright?!” Rafe shouts after you.

You stop, the righteous anger you were feeling only moments before threatening to dissipate into the humid night air. You close your eyes, inhaling deeply before turning around to face your best friend.

Rafe’s breathing heavily, running his hand over his head as if to erase what he just said.

“Fuck,” he hisses, his ring glinting in the moonlight as he chews on his thumb, looking pleadingly at you, willing you to say something, anything. The silence between you feels heavy as your mind races. He’s said it before of course, but it’s usually in jest, or after you help him with something. This feels different, and you know better than to assume it’s not.

“Rafe,” you say, fighting to keep your voice steady. “What are you doing?” You watch him warily as he takes a hesitant step towards you.

“I love you. I’m serious. More than best friends, more than anything we’ve been in the past. I love you and I…I can’t stand to see you with someone else. I can’t let it happen.”

“You have no right-”

“He’s not a good guy, y/n!” Rafe raises his voice again, making you flinch slightly. You scoff at his words, throwing him an incredulous glare.

“Like you can talk, Rafe. I know you – more than anyone else. You’re not exactly in a position to be telling me who’s good for me or not,” you snap.

Rafe huffs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “Yeah, you got me. I’m not perfect, fine, but I know you and I know you shouldn’t be with Parker. That’s why I-” Rafe stops abruptly, his mouth twisting.

You step closer to him, closing the gap between you. “That’s why you what, Rafe?” Your heart pounds and you’re sure you’re about to have your suspicions confirmed. When Rafe stands there, dumbstruck and silent, you answer for him.

“You’re the one who started that rumour about Parker and his ex, aren’t you?”

Rafe’s silence tells you everything you need to know. You shake your head, not quite believing that your best friend would try and sabotage your relationship like this.

“And the bonfire? That was on purpose, wasn’t it? You got some dirt on Parker and wanted me to know about it.”

Rafe winced. “Well, Topper helped with that one. But seriously, this is all for your own good. I’m trying to protect you!”

You hold your hand up. “Stop. Just stop. How could you do this? Why would you try and break us up like this, just because you’re jealous? Why can’t you just let me be happy? Not to mention, you’ve been hurting me, Rafe! You’re not just hurting Parker; you’re destroying me in the process.”

You’re crying now, feeling betrayed. You had barely noticed but it had started to rain, the droplets mixing with your tears to run mascara down your cheeks. Rafe has the audacity to look concerned and regretful, to move as if to hug you and you shake his arm off before jabbing your index finger into his chest.

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Rafe. You had your chance! For years! Just because you’ve finally fucking woken up doesn’t mean you get to ruin my happiness. And now this bullshit about Parker’s family? That’s low, even for you,” you spit, the brief warmth you felt when Rafe told you he loved you now completely cold.

Rafe shook his head. “No, no, you don’t get it! That’s all true! They’re shady fucking people and God, that’s coming from a Cameron. You can’t get caught up in their mess,” he pleads.

“You must be out of your goddamn mind if you think I’m going to believe you now! Why should I?” you yell before spinning on your heel and stalking down the driveway to your car, being careful to not slip on the pavement.

“Y/N, wait!” Rafe calls and he catches up to you in two long strides, grabbing your wrist with his large hand. His white button-down shirt was almost transparent now and the rain was running in rivers off his nose as he looked down at you.

“Please,” he begs. “Come inside. Let me explain. I love you, y/n, please,” Rafe looks desperate, and you almost pity him before you snap back to reality and remember why you’re so angry.

“I’m going to my boyfriend’s house,” you snarl, tugging your wrist out of his grip. “And if you follow me Rafe, I swear to God, I will never speak to you again.”

With that, you yank open your car door and put the keys in the ignition with shaking hands.

“FUCK!”

As you pull away, you can hear Rafe yelling your name.

You don’t even look in the rearview mirror as you turn out of his street, tires squealing.

[hot-astrology]

The Aqaurius Mind: Pluto in Aquarius, Age of Aqaurius, and 2024

The recent events surrounding Katt Williams have stirred my interest, though this event barely scratches the surface of the cosmic workings. The year 2024 portends a great unraveling, as deciphered through its numerology (8) : the influence of Pluto looms over this year, with its placement in Aquarius.

This year's fixed energies signal transformation (Aquarius and Scorpio) and raw power (Taurus and Leo), with Uranus and Jupiter in Taurus and Pluto in Aquarius. The impact of the fixed signs will be significant and profound.

Saturn's presence in Pisces heralds a great awakening. ;I am reminded of my own natal Saturn in the 12th house, which imbues this area of spirituality with discipline and authenticity.Saturn brings discipline and realness to this area of spirituality. And this is what we will see happening for those who are already tapped in. For those who are not this is another great chance similar to 2020 to awaken.

Turning to Vedic astrology, Saturn is positioned in Aquarius this year. In 2020, this was such a huge alignment the only difference is there won't be a great conjunction. But I could see similar potency already. With certain things being spoken about, and if you haven't heard. It's because the government (Saturn) is trying to hide (pisces) a lot of this information away from society. We are fully in the age of aquarius, and things will only continue to get exposed. And no matter how much certain authorities try to hide or stop it. It won't stop until the FULL truth is revealed. No matter how many people are killed, and etc. More and more will keep popping up until the mission is done.

Now switching to tarot, because this is how I connect a lot of my dots. The 21st card (The world card); This card consists of a lion (leo), an eagle (scorpio), a human (Aqaurius), and a bull (Taurus) We see all of these energies being pulled towards us. The world card is the very last card in the tarot deck and represents completion. Now, I would like to turn this over to venuz because he knows more about the cycles and years and stuff. But, I do, I want to also talk about the 10th card in tarot. This is the wheel of fortune. This card signifies karma, destiny, and fate. The cycle of life. This card also resembles the world card but not in a way where things are ending. It shows how life goes on & on. This card also has The Lion, The Bull, The Human, and The Eagle. The four corners of the world/ The angels of the four directions. We see how that number 4 is so significant. These are cycles, and fixed is the last stage. Beyonce was right, America really does have a problem...... The Seal has been broken. ☺ Now, to you venuz.

Cycles......Yes, cycles! Everything evolves in cycles and changes, it's only so long you can stay in the same scenario or comfort zone without chaos knocking at your door. Aquarius is all about change and revolutionizing its surroundings and its people. This energy is at its boiling point. Every 20 years there's a recurrent cycle of same-aged groups with specific behaviors that change. So, if you add 3 more cycles to that it will be a 4 cycle switch, which every generation would affect the other. When the 80-year mark comes around it is a crucial period. Everything is done in cycles, it doesn't matter what it is. Saturn in Pisces will materialize everything you think of, or focus on. This will also bring about what you have been hiding, and not speaking. Thoughts of your subconscious will be brought to the surface, and some will have to face those fears. For Example, Katt Williams has known all of these lies, secrets, backstabbing, cheating, phony, and false allegations, so it's being materialized. All his thoughts, dreams, and deep-rooted issues about other comedians came out to the forefront without any care. As he spoke and exposed their behaviors in front of millions (mass 11th house) and demanded a change (pluto). This calls on the energy of Pluto in Aquarius.

Pluto in Aquarius loves erratic behavior and unexpected scenarios. Pluto comes with a punch and is at full throttle here. Many people are outspoken now and about change and freedom. Aquarius is all revolutionary and Pluto is a generational planet so change is bound to come. This is just the beginning of this world being destroyed and reconstructed into a new and profound system that isn't in line with these new powerful souls. This makes an 80-year period. 10 more years from now will make 90 years which is energy 9 which will be the completion of a major cycle. 8 is just the transformation period and reconstructing period, everything and everyone who wasn't living in their own essence and misusing their fortune, fame and financial abundance in a non conducive manner will reverse roles and be exposed for their inequality.

Like gorgeous Moon Devi said they're trying to hide what they're up to but Saturn in Pisces is revealing everything they have been hiding. So everyone wakes up to all those lies, takes off the rose-colored glasses, no more fantasy land, and is in a delusional state of mind. Pluto in Aquarius will allow everyone to have a voice and speak up, change what's not right, and stand for something even if you never did your whole life. If you were born in this era or if you were born to still be alive in this era get ready for the showdown. If watched in Living Color, this movie promises to be a captivating experience, delivering the answers to long-standing questions and revealing hidden truths. It has the potential to evoke personal fears, making them tangible and forcing introspection. It's a crucial time for everyone, not just celebrities or elites, to focus on self-healing, purification of the soul, and actualizing personal aspirations. Astrologically, the influence of Aquarius, which rules the 11th house of hopes and aspirations, and Pluto provides the necessary impetus to transform negative situations into positive ones, for oneself and the greater good.

However you envision your world to be, you will get the results in this transit. Imagine yourself as a kid at the art table, and you have a box of crayons, an blank piece of paper. The teacher tells you to draw your new world. How would you create it? Would it consist of peace, prosperity, and love? Then she says," Stand up in front of the class, and explain what your world looks like." You say it out loud in front of the class with conviction and power. Then you close your eyes and watch it manifest right before you, VOILA!!! 

From two aqaurius/uranus dominant spirits, ~ Prinz Venuz & Moon Devi

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭

𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔: 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐳 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐳 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢

[v4mpgutz]

Hiiii!! Could you write something about a new kid that joins the core 4 and that friend group (reader and Ethan are dating btw) and Ethan like kinda finds her pretty, and readers really insecure about her looks and dosent think she’s good enough for Ethan and she’s overthinking that Ethan’s cheating on her (he is not)

can it be like Angst and end with fluff :33

Afterglow, Ethan Landry [ ONESHOT ]

— thought this song was fitting ughhh :( i hope this is up to your expectations since i'm not used to writing scenarios like this !! <3

ethan landry x insecure girlfriend fem reader

warnings ! — self-deprecating thoughts, miscommunication, suspected cheating, petnames (love, baby, angel)

-----------------------------------------------------------

it stung when you noticed the way ethan did a double-take when this new girl was introduced to your friend group by tara.

tara explained to the group that she was partnered up with the girl, lilith, to do an assignment and to be nice to her. she was gorgeous — basically the beauty standard — and it was clear that everyone else, including your boyfriend thought so too.

ethan was all smiles when he introduced himself and had offered to help her with getting caught up when she'd told him she was transferring to economics next semester. you frowned, feeling a lump in your throat and fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

anika's smile faded when she saw the way you'd reacted to the ordeal, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

it had been around two months now since tara introduced lilith to the group and you still felt guilty the way your stomach churned everytime you saw her. her and ethan had spent a lot of time together for the last week. unfortunately, chad was how you found out.

"yeah, she's been coming over like.. every day," he told you with a confused look. "hasn't ethan told you this?"

you felt your eyes become wet with tears and shook your head with a false smile, excusing yourself. you didn't want to accuse him of being unfaithful because you did trust him; but the fact that he hadn't told you? it was a little bit suspicious.

you sat in your bed and stared out the window, knees tucked up as you leant your face on them. tears trickled down your face as you sniffled, occasionally wiping your eyes.

if he was cheating on you — that'd be low, your one year anniversary was coming up on sunday.

you got up from your bed and walked over to the mirror, staring at your reflection. you poked and prodded at your face, frown deepening. i don't look like her, you thought. you continued to pick out all the different flaws you could see, a sick feeling in your stomach. if ethan was cheating on you, you wouldn't blame him.

you jumped as you heard a knock on your apartment door and hurried to wipe your tears. you exited your bedroom and opened the door to see your boyfriend.

ethan grinned at you and went to hug you before he paused, his brows furrowing in concern as he saw your bloodshot eyes — slightly puffy from crying.

he chewed the inside of his cheek and entered your apartment, closing the door behind him before pulling you into his chest for a hug. he gently held the back of your head, the other hand wrapping around your waist as he kissed your forehead.

"hey, why's my angel been crying, hm?" he whispered to you, his voice low and soft.

your bottom lip quivered and you took shaky breaths as you shook your head, "i'm okay."

he clicked his tongue and moved a hand to your chin, pulling your head gently to face him. he stared into your eyes for a moment as your breath hitched in your throat.

"don't lie to me, love," he shook his head with a frown and rubbed small circles into your hip with his thumb. "tell me what's bothering you."

you sighed and sniffled, pulling him over to your bedroom where you sat down on your bed and patted the spot next to you.

he nodded at your gesture and sat beside you, left hand resting on your thigh as he rubbed it gently, soothingly.

"chad told me lilith has been coming to see you a lot lately," you mumbled. you felt so horrible to accuse him of this but you needed closure.

ethan's eyes widened a little and he looked down at the ground before turning to face you, cupping your cheek. "nothing is going on between us if that's what you're getting at," he told you. there was a sincerity in his eyes that you'd never seen before.

you swallowed thickly and avoided eye contact with him. "then why didn't you tell me?" you asked softly.

you took a shaky breath inwards and let out a sob that you could no longer hold back as he waited for you to continue.

"she's pretty," you choked out, "i get it if you can't see us going forward because of her."

ethan's eyes squinted in confusion before they widened and he leant closer to your face, the hand that was on your thigh now holding one of yours.

"no, no," he shook his head with a frown. "that's not it, baby. i... i didn't want to tell you because she was helping me plan something for our anniversary."

the truth finally came out — and now you felt terrible.

ethan moved a little closer to your face, hovering above your lips now. he'd processed what you said about yourself and kissed your lips gently, mumbling against them.

"you are so gorgeous," he told you. "the only girl for me — my pretty angel."

your face grew warm as a few tears slipped from your eyes and he moved to gently kiss your eyelids, then your nose, your cheeks, your chin, your forehead and then back to your lips.

"i'm so sorry, baby. i just wanted to surprise you, i never meant for you to feel this way." he sighed and pulled you into another hug, his arms wrapped around you tightly.

you hummed and closed your eyes, whispering to him softly. "s'okay... i'm sorry for accusing you."

ethan chuckled and moved hair out of your face, tapping your nose gently with his fingertip.

"with everything you knew about it, you had a right to. i'm sorry, i know i said that already but i'll keep apologising until i know you know that i really am." he rambled for a little until you leant up and pecked him on the lips.

"i know you're sorry, eth."

THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY 😭

[notsoattractivearenti]

1+1 = 4 (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader)

WC: 3.0K

Warnings: mention of c-section, post-surgery recovery

A/N: i haven’t written anything since last month and i’ve missed writing so here it is... dad!Mason for me and y'all my loves 🥰🫶🏻 apologies if this isn’t so good lol tbh i wrote this for my own comfort cuz it's been an extremely rough few weeks so i kinda needed this and i’m a huge sucker for my faves as attentive partner and dad fics! not to mention this is officially the longest fic I've written + posted here! hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

You just woke up from a short nap after your C-section. Your baby was not supposed to be born for another month, but when your doctor saw the umbilical cord was wrapped around their neck during ultrasound, they told you and Mason that an emergency C-section had to be done the next day before your baby moved to the birth position. You recalled the day it happened.

—

You were really scared and nervous even though you have given birth before – but your first pregnancy and labor went smoothly so you didn’t exactly anticipate this. Plus, you had never gone through any major surgery your whole life ­– you just were not ready at all. You wanted another vaginal delivery but since the circumstances changed, you didn’t have a choice and all you cared about was your little one coming into the world safe and sound.

Mason was scared too, but he tried to conceal it from you. He just knew he had to be by your side all the time, as you were about to go through another life-changing moment but not as you planned. He was worried about the baby but even more about you ­– he felt so helpless because he basically couldn’t do anything but be there for you. If he could, he would make himself be the one who bears the pain instead of you.

On the way home after the checkup, you sat in the passenger seat and just silently stared at the road with your hand resting on top of your belly – subconsciously rubbing it sometimes – while thinking about the sudden news. Mason noticed how quiet you were, and as he drove he grabbed your hand to hold it tight.

“My dear, everything will be okay,” he said softly, “little peanut will be just fine. So will you.”

You sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but Mase...” Your voice was shaky, “I’m terrified. I really am...”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at you, then kissed your hand and rubbed it with his thumbs repeatedly.

“I know, Y/N. But you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known and you’re going to get through this like the badass you are.” He assured you.

“And I will be with you the entire time and take care of you. I promise.” He added.

You smiled a little, still nervous but way less than before. You knew he was also worried yet he still gave you the comfort you needed. That is one of the things about Mason that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“Also, picture how excited Gem will be when she finds out she’s going to meet her baby sibling soon!”

Before Mason even finished his sentence, the possible scenario was already playing in your head. You looked back to the time you and Mason broke the news to Gemma, your 4 year-old daughter – she screamed then cried out of happiness. She has been so excited to have a little sister or brother since and kept asking when will the baby be born. You could clearly imagine how she would react this time.

“Oh God,” you put your hand on your forehead and jokingly groaned, “she’s going to scream her ass off again isn’t she?”

He shook his head playfully and laughed. “Well that’s my daughter alright!”

—

During the surgery, Mason was sitting next to you the whole time, not wanting to let go of your hand. You were fully conscious since you had regional anesthesia, and to distract yourself from your anxious thoughts you and Mason chatted about the most random things – and it helped calming you down.

You both decided not to find out about your baby’s sex just like when you were pregnant with Gemma. Of course you two were curious, but you wanted to surprise yourselves. A boy or a girl, it doesn't really matter because you will love the baby regardless of the sex.

Suddenly, you both heard the sound of your baby’s cry. The doctor lifted them up so you two could see and excitedly announced, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

You and Mason had your mouths wide open and looked at each other immediately once you knew you had another daughter. She came to join your little family sooner than expected, but she was healthy and all your worry was gone in an instant. Mason kissed your forehead and your lips, then whispered to your ears, “Thank you baby, I’m so proud of you.”

The nurse then brought the baby to you so you could see her up close. She put her next to your face, and you could feel tears of happiness streaming down your face – the presence of your newborn girl warmed your heart.

“Hi baby girl,” you tearfully greeted your daughter, “welcome to the world! Mommy loves you so much.”

Mason watched that moment and he was left speechless. He couldn’t stop smiling and crying as he couldn’t find the words to describe the overwhelming joy and immense love he felt at the moment. He was still processing the fact that he had another girl to love for the rest of his life. As he wiped his tears, he quietly whimpered in awe, “she’s so precious… My little peanut.”

—

As you woke up from your nap post surgery, you could feel the anesthesia started to wear off. You moaned and pressed your lips together over the pain you felt on the incision area. You couldn’t really get up because when you tried to move even a little bit, it would hurt so bad. You looked around the hospital room you were in and you saw Mason sitting on the sofa near the window while holding your newborn daughter.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her even for a second, you could tell he was so in love. This reminded you of the day when Gemma was just born – once he held her in his arms, his eyes were locked on her.

You couldn’t stop staring at him as you found this moment so heartwarming and adorable. He then took a quick look at you and when he saw you were awake, a wide smile appeared on his face.

“Oh look, Mommy’s awake,” he said as he got off the sofa to come over to you, “how are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Uh… pain...” You muttered. “But don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Oh no… I’m sorry, Y/N.” He knitted his eyebrows, the tone of his voice showed how worried he really was. “Tell me what I can do to help ease it. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

You smiled as his hand was stroking your arm.

“Thank you love,” you said to Mason, “but let’s just wait for the nurse. With you two here with me right now I can handle this pain.”

“By the way… Can you stop hogging my baby and hand her over to her mom?” You jokingly asked him.

“Oops, sorry!” He laughed while gently putting her on your side.

—

Few hours later, the nurse suggested you get out of bed and try walking around for a bit. Even though you were still experiencing discomfort, you gladly took her suggestion as you didn’t like laying in the bed for too long. Mason, who wasn’t fond of the idea, expressed his concern to the nurse.

“Ma’am, are you sure it’s okay? The wound on my wife’s stomach is still fresh… Isn’t it too soon?”

“Sir, I get your concern and I can guarantee you it is necessary as it is a part of the recovery. Moving around after the surgery helps the recovery process. Don’t need to worry, we’ll check in on you every so often. If you need anything, you can call us by pushing the button next to the bed.” The nurse explained to both of you in a calm manner.

Mason sighed in relief and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said to the nurse, “this is my first time going through a C-section and my husband and I have been very anxious about it. Not to mention this was unplanned so we didn’t exactly come prepared.”

“Understandable. It is normal to feel nervous, Ma’am. We are happy to help.” The nurse acknowledged your worries.

As soon as the nurse left the room, you tried to get out of bed and grimaced while one of your hands was on your wound area. Mason was getting you a glass of water when he saw you – fright was written all over his face immediately.

“Baby!” He spontaneously yelled as he rushed over to your side and helped you. out.

“Ssshh, Mase, I’m alright,” you put your arm around his neck and tried to soothe him, “just want to get up, that's all.”

“Don’t be so stubborn!” He was shaking a little – he felt a genuine fear. “My God, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh please, don’t be a drama queen,” you couldn’t help but make fun of his reaction. “I said I’m alright, hahaha!”

He playfully rolled his eyes in response. You laughed at him and suddenly felt stabbing pain on your wound.

“Ouch!” You shouted. “Man, I can't even laugh without feeling pain!”

“Well, I’m glad you were amused but I guess no more comedy for a while for you, Mrs. Mount.” he said as he stroked your back.

Mason gently supported your body and carefully assisted you on taking your first steps post surgery. You squeezed your eyes, ground your teeth and winced as you were still experiencing the sharp pain – especially when you moved. Mason’s heart ached seeing you struggling like this, he felt guilty even but he knew nothing else he could do but support you throughout the recovery.

“Don’t rush it, sweetheart. It hasn’t been 12 hours after the surgery,” he emphasized. “Just take one little step at the time when you’re ready, okay?”

—

“Baby, Gem is coming here with my parents!” He excitedly shouted from across the room.

Your eyes widened and a squeal left your mouth when you heard that Gemma was coming. As you were in the hospital, Mason’s parents were taking care of her. You have been looking forward to the moment when your girls finally met. She had been impatiently waiting to be able to hold her baby sibling – she even practiced with her doll all the time. 

At this point you could stand up, walk, and sit down. The incision still hurt and discomfort came and went all the time but the painkiller was working well and the bliss of having a newborn was able to distract your mind from the pain. Mason had been so attentive to you and always ready to help you. He thought you needed a day to rest, therefore with your permission he respectfully asked everyone – except your parents and siblings – not to pay a visit at the hospital and wait until you all settled at your home instead. 

“Where is Gem now? Is she close? Are they here already?” You eagerly asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “I’ll call my mum.”

And before he even pressed call, Debbie texted him to let him know they just arrived at the hospital. He was beaming when he saw the text, and passed the news to you.

“They’re here! I’ll go get them,” he said as he kissed your forehead and got out to pick them up.

Trying not to hurt yourself, you didn’t act too excited on the outside but you sure were within. Sitting down on your bed, you pulled the baby crib closer and carefully picked her up.

“Hey little angel,” you whispered softly into her tiny ear, “you’re about to meet your big sister. She’s been waiting for you… You’re going to love her as much as she loves you.”

She made a slight smile and you noticed that. You chuckled, you thought it was like she was also excited to meet Gemma. You gave little kisses all over her cute face, and as you did that you could feel how you were completely filled with great love and glee – one more girl has stolen your heart. 

Suddenly, you heard the door was opened, followed by a little giggle you love so much. Your heart was beating really fast – it was going to be one of the biggest moments in your life – you didn’t know if you could handle your emotions when it happened.

You saw Gemma walking in with one hand holding her dad’s and the other covering her mouth. She looked so eager to finally see her baby sibling – she didn’t know it was a girl beforehand – and you wanted to see how she reacted when she found out she had a sister. Behind them were Debbie and Tony, and Debbie had already started recording with Mason’s phone. Gemma then saw you and excitedly yelled, “Mommy!”

You giggled and waved at her in response. 

“Do you want to sit next to Mommy and baby peanut, Gem?” Mason gently asked her.

“Yes Daddy! I want to see my baby peanut now!” She responded impatiently.

Mason picked her up and sat her down next to you. When she saw her sister up close, she squealed and said “Wow, baby peanut is so small and cute!”

You introduced your firstborn to your newborn.

“Gemma, meet Iris…”

She gasped and looked at both you and Mason in disbelief.

“You have a sister, Gem!” Mason cheered.

Gemma was so happy to have a sister and she started to cry. You might have pictured this beautiful moment in your head before but what really happened was a lot better than you had imagined. It was quite overwhelming to see how emotional she was and you eventually cried as well. Mason was really touched, almost shed a tear when he saw how you and Gemma were crying. He immediately grabbed some tissues from his pocket – he was aware this was going to happen – to wipe the tears off his girls’ faces.

“Mommy… Can I hold Iris?” Gemma nervously asked, her big brown eyes were still watery but you could see the sparkles of joy in them.

“Of course, sweetie.”

You carefully handed Iris onto Gemma’s lap, teaching her how to support Iris’ little body. She was so gentle and cautious, uneasy at first as if she was afraid to hurt Iris. Mason tried to ease her since he got how nervous Gemma was – he kissed the top of her head over and over again while assuring her that she was doing fine holding her sister – and it worked out even though it took a while.

Finally feeling comfortable, Gemma gently let go of one of her hands and started caressing Iris’ cheeks. Her eyes were locked in just like his dad earlier, and you just knew she was so deeply in love with her little sister. 

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she, Gem?” Mason was beaming in awe and Gemma nodded in agreement.

Both Gemma and Mason showered Iris with kisses. The immense amount of love Iris was getting made your heart soar. You looked at your husband and your girls and thought to yourself: how did I get so lucky?

Mason then gave you a quick but passionate kiss on your lips. He looked deeply into your eyes and expressed his gratitude and appreciation for you.

“Y/N, the way you had to bear the pain to bring me two amazing kids to our life is unbelievable. You are the most incredible woman and I can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, for us… I’m so lucky to have you as my wife and the mother of our girls. I will always try to make you happy, feel loved and give you everything you need and deserve because you have given me the life I’ve always dreamed of…”

You had no words and were about to cry again. You pulled him closer and pressed your lips against his – it was a moment full of tenderness and sweet affection. As your lips parted, you two whispered “I love you” to one another.

Debbie – who was still recording – and Tony were also emotional although they were trying to keep themselves together because they thought they didn’t want to ruin the beautiful moment between your little family. You then asked the grandparents to come see the newest addition to the Mount family.

“Iris Mount… Such a beautiful name, Y/N!” Tony complimented.

“That’s perfect for her! Thank you, Y/N, for giving us wonderful grandkids!” Debbie chimed in and gave you a hug.

“Uh, Mum… I contributed too, you know. Why don’t I get a thank-you? ” Mason jokingly protested.

“Yes but you weren’t the one who carried them for months and gave birth, were you?” Debbie lightheartedly replied.

You chuckled at their banter – you held yourself back from laughing as usual because it would hurt you.

With his mother clearly winning the argument, Mason humorously backed out, pouted then stated his closing statement.

“That’s true. But Y/N and I do make the most beautiful babies.”

Debbie and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at his comeback.

—

Yes, he might not be the one who was pregnant and given birth, but he has always been an amazing and present father to Gemma. No matter how tight his schedule could be, he would always make time for her daughter. He might have missed a few milestones that happened unexpectedly but other than those he never wanted to miss out so much on his daughter’s life. When he was out of town for away games, he always asked for daily updates on Gemma and called you on Facetime in every chance he got.

Mason is an ultimate girl dad and takes great pride in it. He would dress up as princess wearing a tiara and Gemma’s little dress that barely fits him and have a tea party with her, buy a makeup set she asked for, and sometimes he would show up at training wearing a headband with the biggest bow on his head because Gemma put it on him before he left. He always said he loves being a girl dad and would do it all over again – now he really gets to do it all over again…

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

[jungmeowz]

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Summer Love - S.JY; teaser

synops; it’s not like she didn’t love music, but maybe she loved music a little too much and happens to yap about it every so often. EN-O2Z is her favorite band and who she listens to almost everyday as her remedy, her scapegoat. Not to mention there’s a certain member who catches her attention! So what happens when her father asks her to accompany him to his Brisbane trip to see his best friend, and your father’s best friend has a son? summary; It’s y/n summer vacation, and her father asks her to accompany him to his Brisbane trip to see his best friend, your father mentions that his best friend has a son name Jaeyun, but you don’t think much of it and agree on this trip because you don’t want your father to be alone. 

Pairing: boyband!jaeyun x reader 

Genre: fluff, angst, humor, xyz

Word Count: tbd

a/n; this is the first scenario I have written in like uh years.. maybe its a special peace after reaching 100!!! not proof read btw.

As her father sits in the car in excitement, silently squealing because he’s about to see his long time best friend who he hasn’t seen in years, he sits next to her all giddy and she looks at him and chuckles. y/n hasn’t seen her father happy in so long and so it warms her heart when she sees her father get all happy and excited, it sort of reminds her how she gets when she gets to see EN-O2Z, or when she listens to them full blast into her ears. 

Y/N vaguely remembers her father mentioning his best friend had a son, but she doesn’t put much thought about it, nor does she care because it’s not part of her interest in mingling and meeting new people. She’s introverted, shy, and minds her business, and it doesn’t make her anti-social because once you get to her she becomes a yapper and yap yap yaps about anything and everything but she’s only capable of making that happen if she’s comfortable. 

She thinks her father mentioned the son only because he didn’t want her to feel lonely on this trip, but to her she doesn’t mind. It’s her summer vacation, she has nothing to lose and besides she’s always wanted to go to australia and travel, not to mention it’s one of the EN-O2Z members hometown and she was curious what his homeland is like.

Once the car pulls up to the given address, y/n watches her father immediately get out of the car excitedly and he sees his best friend and runs over to give him a hug and greets him. She laughs at him and thanks the taxi driver for dropping them off and proceeds to take the luggage out of the car. As she pushes the luggages towards the door, she comes closer to her dad’s best friend and greets him and bows, he smiles at her and pulls her in for a hug and greets her. 

“y/n right? It’s so nice to finally meet you! Your father talks a lot about you, but in a good way! I’m so glad you could make it on this trip and accompany your dad. Although, I hope you don’t mind us spending time together to catch up,” he says. “It’s no problem, feel free to take him. He’s been literally too excited about this trip. I haven’t seen him this giddy and happy in ages” she smiles. “Thank you for that, you’re too sweet. Well, just go right ahead and make yourself feel at home, upstairs there are 4 rooms, one of them is mine, and another one is my son’s, and there’s one for you and your father. I figured you would want your own room!” He smiles. “Thank you for that. I was kind of hoping I could get my own room. Not that I don’t love my father but I can’t stand his loud snores,” She joked. “No… I figured. Anyways, yes, your room is on the far left. Feel free to ask me anything or even my son! His name is Jaeyun and he’s currently in his room doing something but you’ll both soon meet,” he says. 

y/n nods and enters the door with the luggage, she first grabs her luggage first and starts carrying up the staircase and as she starts carrying it up the staircase, your dad’s best friend makes one last comment, “Oh, if you ever need a tour around the city or anything feel free to let me know and I’ll ask Jaeyun to show you around, or feel free to ask yourself!” he mentions. She nods and gives him a thumbs up and proceeds to walk up towards the room. A

When she finally makes it up the staircase, she looks around the house and it seems very neatly organized and clean, she walks towards the hallways and finds a room that has a door slightly opened, she assumes it could potentially be her room and so she walks towards closer to the room, and as she walks closer to the room, she notices another room across from her, there’s loud music coming from that door and you recognize that music from anywhere. 

It’s EN-O2Z, she mildly starts freaking out and starts getting excited herself, because she absolutely loved meeting people who liked listening to him, but for now y/n tries to contain her excitement and walks towards the slightly opened door room. y/n opens the door fully and takes a look around the room and she admires how cute and cozy the room looked, as she walks towards the bed with her luggage she leaves it near the bed stand and plops on the bed for a moment wanting a bit of rest. 

Her back on the bed as she faces the ceiling, she pulls out her phone to text her best friend that she’s made it safely to Brisbane and then proceeds to open her music app and play her EN-O2Z playlist and tosses her phone on the side. This playlist was her safe haven, when she’s happy, sad, or anything she’ll listen to it because it makes her feel at peace, because it gives her comfort. As the music plays she closes her eyes for a bit to listen to the melody, the voices, and the instruments being played, she loves them, she really loves them. After one song finishes playing she realizes she should go back downstairs and tell her father she wanted to rest a bit more.

When y/n pulls herself up from the bed and grabs her phone where she tosses it, she puts the upcoming song on pause and puts her phone back in her pocket. She hops off from the bed and walks out of the door, and when she walks out of the door she notices the room door across from her is about to open. y/n doesn’t think much about it and continues to walk but the moment when the door opened at full force, she could help but feel startled. 

As y/n looks at the opened door and then immediately looks at the boy who’s standing in front of her, it's only to realize he’s not just your father’s best friend's son, he’s not just any boy who’s name is apparently Jaeyun. No, to her, in y/n’s eyes that's Sim Jake. The one and only Sim Jake from EN-O2Z standing right in front of her, y/n’s eyes widened and she quickly turns around immediately sprinting back to her room and slams her door in panic. She covers her mouth in shock and slides down against the door.

“What in the fuck is going on,” she panics. 

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ ° ᡣ𐭩 . °

[saintsenara]

2 bellatrix Lestrange

4 Sirius black

thank you for the ask, anon!

[character ask game here]

2. a canon or headcanon hill you will die on about them:

i have two headcanon answers for my best girl, bellatrix:

that her marriage to rodolphus is unhappy

a lot of bellatrix fans - or certainly the ones i follow on tumblr - have the headcanon that her marriage to rodolphus is a strong one, and either reject the idea of bellamort, or think that bellamort takes place with rodolphus’ consent.

i disagree. i much prefer to view bellatrix as someone whose breathless devotion to voldemort isn’t just caused by the deranged sexual energy she projects in the books [which helena bonham carter really took and ran with in the films…], but by the fact that voldemort - tragically - is the first man in her life who actually treats her as a real person.

while i don’t think her marriage to rodolphus was forced [i think it was arranged - and i think the idea that pureblood families practise arranged marriage is implied by canon - but arranged and forced marriages are not synonymous, nor are arranged and loveless ones], i do think that it was a decision she made when she was quite young because she thought she should, and that, if she’d had the chance to actually think properly about it, she wouldn’t have accepted rodolphus’ proposal.

i see them, then, as having very little in common - rodolphus being dour and insubstantial is my preferred way of writing him, while bella is passionate and vibrant - and as living, almost the second the rings are exchanged, entirely separate lives.

i also see bellatrix feeling incredibly constrained by the gendered expectations of her social class - expectations which rodolphus, following the example of his parents [and bella’s own], has for her - and hating being, essentially, trapped in the lestranges’ house, having to play hostess and behave herself like a good pureblood woman. like narcissa.

voldemort - someone who can very much understand the desire to escape the shackles of your father and your class background - is the only man she ever meets who lets her escape this.

but, more than that:

that voldemort genuinely loves her, in his own little way

if you asked him, of course, he’d say otherwise, but i think it’s justifiable in canon that voldemort doesn’t just like having bella around because she strokes his ego.

he clearly misses her while he’s stuck in a tree in albania; he is the happiest he’s been in over a decade the night she’s released from azkaban; he refuses to lose her to azkaban again in the duel at the ministry, even though it means blowing a year-long cover; he allows her to speak frankly to him when they’re in private [she tells him to his face that he’s wrong about snape - for most people, that’s the last thing you ever say to lord voldemort, for bella, all she gets is the silent treatment for a few days]; he is willing to put up with her doing all she can to be physically close to him, even though that alludes to the relationship between them and makes him look like he has a weakness; he is - if you’re a delphini truther [i am! sue me!] - willing to allow her to be seen to be pregnant with his baby, something which makes clear he’s just a man underneath it all; and - of course - he absolutely loses it when she dies.

in contrast to a fanon tendency to turn him into an emotionless automaton, voldemort is someone who clearly has a great desire to be seen and known. his monologues are usually him revealing his secrets, his desire for notoriety is obviously caused by having been such an attention-starved child, his life is hollowed out by the profound grief of his orphanhood. i cannot see any scenario in which bellatrix’s affection for him isn’t something he clings onto like a life-raft. and, despite the series’ belief that the main value of love is as sacrifice, this - pleasure, comfort, solace, understanding - is love too.

4. your favourite line of theirs:

sirius’ best line is obviously this god-tier read of wormtail from prisoner of azkaban:

"there’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them."

[sugar-omi]

Okay so we've had leaving Cove for Baxter but what about an uno reverse card here? A post step 4 scenario where MC leaves Baxter and figures out they've always loved Cove?

P.S. Love, love, live your writing!!!

im so glad you sent this!! tysm for the praise<333 i feel like this could relate to this: question abt the reverse also i didn't think abt it then, n maybe i said this but to finish that thought. (eta now that ive linked it, BABE U LITERALLY RAMBLED STFU<///3) but baxter accepts your feelings bc he's desperate for love and he's pined after you for years. ALTHOUGH if i were to write it canonically, he would be so offended that you'd even bother and encourage you to leave cove before you hurt him. cove would do the same, if you confess to him he would Instantly lose all respect n interest in you and would all but spit at you if you did BAXTER WOULD ACTUALLY CALL YOU DISGUSTING AS WELL... i like to imagine cove would bc yk, i like the parallel, but he wouldn't and he'd prbly go "is that what you think of me?" bc he'd feel like a piece of meat in that situation

tags : Angst (w happy ending for you), Hurt/Comfort, breaking up w baxter, unrequited to requited love, falling out of love w baxter

synopsis : you break up with baxter because you realize you don't love him anymore. then you realize someone else is piquing your interest...

baxter is surprised, but he also expected this...

lately you'd been pulling away, and you've been lost in thought. and he's walked in on you crying a few times and you didn't want to explain to him why.

he feels his blood go cold, and he feels pressure wash over him.. he tries not to cry or choke up when he speaks.

he has to act like a gentleman. he needs to be understanding. he needs to be the strong one because you're sitting on the floor and crying, apologizing and hiding your face in your hands.

your sobs and shaky form hurts him more. he knows it's not your fault. it's his, in all honesty.

he left you so cruelly 5 years ago, and even though you've been together for a year and shared many happy moments with hushed giggles and loving kisses, you couldn't find the same love for him as when you were young.

baxter tries not beat himself up, pushing down his darker minds degrading chorus...

he puts a hand on your head, smoothing his palm over his pants. his palm hurts from digging his nails into it.

tonight is going to be rough. tomorrow will be harder.

"it's okay y/n. we had a good time together right?" baxter smiles. although the thickness of his voice makes you tuck in on yourself more.

he continues soothing you, ignoring the tears in his eyes. "i understand... we're so different now, it's not surprising it didn't work."

baxter's humorless and watery laugh makes you cry more, and you know he's crying now too. "we should stop looking back on the past now." baxter pets your head, trying to milk the last bit of affection from your dying relationship.

he feels like his world is opening up.

you turn your face away and wipe roughly at your tears. you know you look like a mess, but you feel so overwhelmed, and you have enough shame to not want to face baxter.

you finally look up at him, baxter lifting his gaze from his knees to look at you, glazed amber staring back at you. your heart clenches.

even though you don't love him the same way anymore, this kills you all the same.

"i'll... get my stuff tomorrow." you whisper.

cove was torn when you got with baxter.

he's always loved you, and when you still pined for baxter even after that summer, he got accustomed to putting his feelings aside to let your relationship grow.

but now you were sitting on his couch, looking distant at his fish tank.

your eyes were blurred with tears, and it took everything to curl yourself into the corner of the couch.

"y/n?..."

...

cove goes to call out again- "yeah?" you mutter, your words tiny and soft. weak. forced.

"what can i do for you?" cove wanted to gather up all your pain and take it away. so that the only thing left was for you to be happy.

...

you lick your lips, fixing your feet that were sliding off the cushion.

"i don't know. nothing for now." you turn and try to smile. "this is okay for now, i'm sorry for bugging you i..."

you swallow. "i don't wanna be alone right now."

cove comes closer, wrapping his arms around you, hiding your face in his neck. "i don't mind, i'll always be here for you."

it's silent for a long moment, the only sound being the TV cove didn't turn off at your insistence.

less sound meant your thoughts were louder.

you focused on the trickling water of the tank and it suddenly made you aware of how dry you were after crying.

you wrestle your arm free from the blankets and cove's hold, and you feel him watching your every move.

after drinking half the glass, you lean into cove's chest and take in the sound of his heartbeat.

cove is the only thing that keeps your head from spinning and the world from crashing.

you huff. this is frustrating. you're frustrated with everything, mostly with yourself.

"do you... wanna talk now?" cove inquires gently, rambling about how you don't have to but it might help.

you don't say anything for a bit, tracing the waves and lines of cove's tattoo.

"..even though i pined for him for so long..." you start, slowly letting the words come to you. "i thought this was it, i thought i was over him leaving me. but..."

you start to cry, so you sit up to turn around, hiding your face in your hands.

"i spent so long being sad that.."

"i spent so long being angry that.."

"i spent so long being angry then sad and missing him that.."

you swallow, muttering. "that i didn't even realize when i stopped loving him..."

it's quiet. and you don't look up to see if cove heard, but you assume he did since he asks a interesting question...

"then.. why are you so sad? i mean i get it, but..." cove groans, trying to word his thought carefully and correctly.

"i'm sorry.. it just seems like you're upset about something else, too..."

you exhale shakily, despising the tears still pouring from your eyes.

you take in what cove asked, debating what to say before you speak. "i thought this was what i wanted, but now i..." you start crying, overwhelmed.

cove just pulls you back into him, deciding that was enough talking for tonight, and now it was just about cheering you up.

it's been a few months, things are... different. some days are difficult. but most of them are better, just a bit mellow.

it took a bit, but your new apartment finally feels like home, and you can sit in the silence and solitude of it without feeling like your chest is caving in.

at least for today.

you and cove laugh, falling onto your new mattress after finally getting it through the door.

after the giggles die down, you flip over and look at cove. "thanks for helping."

cove turns his head to smile at you, "nah. derek did most the work."

"well, he's not here to receive my 100th thanks, so just take it."

cove laughs heartily.

lately, cove has started to look more handsome. ethereal, in fact. and you can't look away..

"y/n?.."

you hum, looking back at the ceiling. fuck you got caught.

"you're doing it again y'know?"

you whip around to look at cove, who has a smug grin on his face. "what? that's the second time you've said that! what does it even mean?!" you exclaim, slapping cove's chest with the back of your hand.

he laughs joyously, "like you're thinking philosophical thoughts!"

you roll your eyes, "ooo big words there, ocean boy. wouldn't you like to know about my philosopher thoughts." you mock, teasing cove with a grin you don't bother to fight coming across your lips.

"yep." cove pops the 'p', simply agreeing that he wants to know what's on your mind.

you watch each other in silence, and your eyes fall on his lips and he parts them to speak but you beat him to it, muttering lowly and if it wasn't for the emptiness and tranquility around you, he wouldn't have heard it.

"i'm thinking about how pretty you are..."

cove stills, you can hear his breath hitch and he stops breathing for a moment.

you continue, letting the water flow now that you've opened the gates.

"i know you've always had a crush on me, and please don't think i'm playing with you.." you swallow, keeping eye contact so as to will yourself to go on, although the depths of cove's glassy eyes make you flatter a bit.

you curl your fingers into your palms, keeping yourself from petting his cheek.

"at some point i started to.. realize just how much you are there for me. and i.." you lick your lips, "i love you."

cove starts to cry, and to that he sits up to hide his face.

you sit up as well, reaching out to cove's back. you don't know if you should touch him or not...

he cries for a bit. eventually, you do reach out, curling your fingers in the fabric of his shirt. you can't bring yourself to come closer, not sure how to comfort cove or if you even should, but you want him to know you're still here and waiting.

waiting for what? you're not sure.

waiting for him to seek your comfort? waiting for him to reject you? either way, you're waiting, and he turns around when he finally stops the waterworks.

"y-you mean it?" cove chokes, and you nod.

"yeah." you whisper, like any louder approval and it'll come off as half-hearted.

he pauses for a moment, looking at you. searching your gaze and trying to pick your brain apart.

"did you... break up with baxter because you...?" he can't say it, like he's not allowed to. like if he says it, it might shatter.

"love you?" you finish, "no. breaking up with baxter had nothing to do with you or my feelings for you."

"good, good..." cove repeats, sagging a bit in relief. "can i ask you one last question?"

"anything, cove." you assure, antsy to what will come out of his mouth. maybe this is all leading to rejection, but at least he'll know you loved him.

"you aren't saying that because i helped you through your breakup, right?" cove approaches softly. he doesn't mean to offend you, and you take none.

"no!" you lean forward, snatching up cove's hands. "i didn't say it right earlier.. what i meant was, i stopped seeing you as just a friend." you fret a bit, softening as you think about how you see cove now.

"i was hung up on what i couldn't have with baxter, and i know it sounds bad, but once i realized i was living in my head too much and didn't even know what i was feeling until after the fact.."

you intertwine your hands with cove's, looking up at him. "i realized life was so much better than in my head, and there was, is, someone greater than i could ever imagine."

you don't realize it until cove reaches up to wipe some tears from your cheeks. you laugh, "you're crying too, dummy."

cove laughs, holding your hand against his cheek.

"i've been waiting so long to hear you say that." cove cringes, "well... maybe too long. you're so hard to get over, i could never do it..."

cove looks at you with affectionate eyes.

"does this mean..?" you question, a bit egear but holding your horses.

cove laughs and nods. "yeah. i love you too, y/n."

you beam, taking his face in your hands and resting your foreheads together. "we'll take it slow, if it helps."

cove flushes, feeling a bit bold and is flustered by the fact. "not too slow, i've been waiting almost 17 years for this."

cove is the one to close the gap, swallowing your words before you can tease him, laugh, or agree.

you let him, letting cove pull you down to earth again and into him, as he always does.

[moonyasnow]

I'm about to absolutely torture you all with the angstiest angst you have ever read

Enjoy :)

(I fully expect to be put on trial for breaking laws against psychological cruelty inflicted on others. I do not expect to be forgiven for my crimes. But I just have toooooooooo)

So this song from the Artemil playlist right?

It's in Swedish so as far as I know only I could really understand it without a translation

But basically, I see this as 'the bad ending'. Basically the scenario described in this song has a similar vibe to what I think a bad ending (where they can't find a way to be together and are basically FORCED by their families to split up) could feel like

Annnnnnd....

:3

I just so happen to have translated it when I wanted to torture a friend of mine

So here you go! ^^

Enjoy :D

(I fully expect all of you to hate me after this)

CW : DOUBLE SUICIDE

Rött & Guld (Red & Gold)

A tranquil rain fell the night when she left her home From the square she heard the clock chime 5 Now there was no going back, she could never return Now all the bridges were burned It was now it would happen So she put a hairtie around her golden-red hair She breathed for the first time in 4 years Before her laid the town, smothered in soot and slush (melting snow) and smoke And behind her laid a goodbye note on the table of a polished kitchen

A tranquil rain fell against the window that hail-hardened Autumn He woke to his heart aching in his chest He'd heard someone calling, it hadn't been a dream A voice from the past he thought he'd forgotten The woman next to him in the bed slept as though nothing had happened When he dressed, snuck out and left the front door ajar When he began to walk his heart began to beat again On the wall of his condo building someone had written the words:

"There's nothing to wait for" "There's nothing to wait for"

In a curtain of fog struggled a brave sunrise She sat smoking on the ground of an empty train platform The air was crystal Light and high and cool And in the distance she heard a steam locomotive's screeching signal On the other side of the platform burned a tree in red and gold She felt no regret, felt no guilt There was nothing to explain, there was nothing to understand The only thing left were the words she'd left behind her:

"There's nothing to wait for" "There's nothing to wait for"

He came stumbling along the tracks like a wet and frozen dog She smiled and said: "There you are, I've been here a while" It had begun to rain once more, and now it came pouring down He fell into her arms and said:

"I can't take it anymore" "I've tried to do the right thing, what's expected of me" "But not a night has passed where I haven't dreamed of you" "In the orderly and calm I've searched for security and comfort" "But every Autumn I've searched for your voice in every wind" "And I thought it had passed" "That everything was over" "I built a living for myself but was emptied inside" "We'll never be forgiven, we're doomed to death, I know" "But I'd rather die than keep longing for you in secret" And they saw the very last train that would ever depart They saw only two roads: throw themselves in front or on the track They glowed red and gold though the Autumn sky was grey They kissed each other gently in a rain that sang for both of them

"There's nothing to wait for" "There's nothing to wait for"

Did you like it? :)

[cnroth]

Fanfic Q&A

I was tagged a long time ago by @curator-on-ao3 and meant to do this later when I had time, but then I forgot. More recently, I was tagged by @strkamand, which has prompted me to actually do it this time haha. So thank you both!! 🩵 😘

1. Why do you write fanfic?

Short answer: Cuz it’s fun!

Long answer: I started writing fanfic in 2016 because I had spent the last year and a half clawing my way back to some semblance of sanity after a really shitty time in my life. We got Netflix for the first time and I found my favorite childhood show—Star Trek: Voyager. It was like a warm blanket in the cold.

I still remember playing Star Trek on the playground with school friends, inventing stories of ourselves as original characters on Voyager, and suddenly I had the thought—what if I actually did it? Made an OC that was actually complex and fleshed out and stirred her into the mix? Added more representation of mental health issues to the show? I also applied for grad school around this time with the goal of eventually working in the mental health field.

So I dusted off my old creative writing skills and began making fanfic as a way to share my ideas with other fans, explore ships and characters I thought were interesting and/or underdeveloped, or just enjoy playing with my favorite dolls while processing my own experiences, as well.

And here I am now, eight years later, still doing just that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

This is a complicated question, because the answer is and has always been the very first story I joined the fandom to share, and one that took me years to tell—the Far From Their Bones series. Technically, it is finished.

That being said, I may-or-may-not currently be working on something closely related to that… 👀

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

I honestly can’t think of anything I’d say. I think that my fanfic journey, bumpy as it may have been, was what I needed to go through to become the writer I am today.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I rarely check them. Honestly, I post so rarely and a fair amount of my stuff is niche stories few people are interested in reading, my stats are probably shit anyway.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

The closest thing to an answer for this question is I suppose J/C. I used to be fairly prolific in that ship, but the community for that ship was eventually taken over by a few toxic people who manipulated other participants (especially newer ones) into a very narrow idea of what was acceptable as a J/C fan and shit-talked people who fell outside of that, and I ended up deeply burned. It took out my ability to read or write J/C for a long time. I’ve dipped my toe back in here and there since then, and I won’t say I’m done with that ship forever, but it definitely was a major pain having to grieve the loss of a ship that had brought me so much joy.

6. What motivates you to write?

Usually random story ideas that pop into my head when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.

Also, comments can sometimes prompt me to write more.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

I think that’s mostly explained above already. Someday, I might finally write the Hunger Games fic I’ve had in my head for many years, as that series of books/movies was also instrumental in my trauma recovery, but for now Star Trek: Voyager (and occasionally other Trek shows) is where I’m comfortable and inspired.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

There are two strategies I use most often to deal with this:

One, making playlists of songs that fit the story in some way, whether through the lyrics or even just the vibe. Then I listen to that on repeat to help drive me into my other strategy, which is…

Two, I use imagery to develop compelling scenes in my head, mentally watching them and shaping them until I feel like I can write them down—even if they’re incomplete. In the end, I may end up dumping the scene, or changing it, or writing the most inspiring scenes first and filling in the gaps between them later, but ultimately the goal is just to get myself moving again.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

Comments prompt my brain to make more dopamine and serotonin. As a mentally ill person with a neurodivergent brain, that is HUGE.

I do my best remind myself that I’m writing fic I want to read, and that can often mean not many other people will want it like I do (or have the time to actually read it), but in the end getting comments lets me know I’m not alone and that my exhaustive efforts in creating fic are appreciated.

It’s also just like fucking Christmas morning when I see that email from AO3. Like, massive mood booster.

I also would like people to know that comments have, more than once, given me ideas and/or energy to write more.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

Not that I can think of 😊

I have no idea who has already done this, and most people I know who write have been tagged by the ladies who tagged me. If you have already done this, tag me in a comment on your post or something so I can read it!

And if you haven’t done this yet, consider yourself tagged!!

Let’s see ummmm @gijane-7702 @seema-unbound @cheile @caladeniablue @theredheadedcaptain @70thousandlightyearsfromhome anyone else who wants to join 🩵

[the-autistic-cat-queen]

Welcome to my page, I hope you will feel at home here.

📷 Photo taken by myself on the 12th of December 2024

Well where do I start?

I guess I should start by saying I’m 45 years young, autistic, I love all cats and I’m asexual. My pronouns are she/her, I share a flat with my wonderful partner and our 4 beautiful cats. I love my partner very dearly, she is actually the complete opposite to myself when it comes to her sexuality, this can at times make things a little tricky, but somehow we always manage to muddle through and make things work.

Growing up I’ve always found myself more drawn to femininity, I could go as far as to consider myself as an asexual lesbian, however I don't really like to put myself in a box. I believe boxes are best suited for cats

Despite being in my 40s, I would consider myself young minded, intelligent, and a person who has a good heart. I hate to see others around me struggle. I’m a big believer in always trying to boost people up, rather than to try and drag them down. I’d consider myself an empath as I tend to feel other peoples pain, which I guess can make me a bit of an emotional person at times.

Being autistic I tend to speak my mind, this can be a good and bad thing, as sometimes it helps others to understand me, but other times it just makes situations more awkward.

For years I have heavily masked, because of this it made it very difficult for me to say no to things. It’s only in the last year or so that I’ve actually started to put my own feelings first. Even then I still struggle with this a lot as I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. This is something I’m still working to improve.

I’ve always been known for having a great sense of humour, in fact for many years I used to use humour as a defence mechanism. I found it always helped hide just how anxious and shy I was. If people are laughing, they are not noticing just how awkward you are. It’s only in the last couple of months that I’ve managed to stop doing this as much. I’ve been slowly trying to lower my mask a little bit by bit each day. I now use comfort items when out and about as a way of feeling more at ease.

Since I was a teenager I always wanted to get into photography, but back then I struggled and lacked any kind of direction to ever get things done. It’s only just now in the last year that I’ve found myself lucky enough to be able to buy myself a professional camera.

I’ve recently found myself drawn to collecting Blythe dolls, in fact I just love everything to do with them. If I’m being completely honest they have become a little bit of an obsession of mine. I originally found myself collecting Sylvanian families, but I think the only reason I got so heavily into collecting them, was because at the time I was growing up I wasn’t ever allowed any of them. Now don’t get me wrong, I still love my Sylvanians, but Blythes are were my heart is at. In fact I’ve only just recently bought myself a new sewing machine. My plans are to start making outfits for all my dolls. I also plan to collect all the tools needed to get into doll customisation. It’s something I’m feeling quite passionate about. I feel after many many years I might actually have found something I’m really into.

Between Blythe dolls, Sylvanians and Me to You bears (Tatty Teddies) I’ve found myself taking them out wherever I go, in fact I won’t leave the house without at least one doll and some kind of plush toy. I find having these comfort items take away any feelings of anxiety I might have and also removes the need to make idle conversion with strangers. (of course I’ll still chat to people, but now I don’t feel the need to turn everything into a joke).

People often tell me I have a great sense of imagination; some have even said my imagination seems to go beyond the normal limits of thinking. As I tend to go into a rumble offering so much detail when explaining different scenarios or situations that could or might occur. I guess I just have an overactive mind and vivid imagination.

Other hobbies and interests that I’ve enjoyed over the years are singing / song writing, poetry, quote creation, mixed martial arts, gaming, anime, TV shows, movies, drawing / painting, cooking and maintaining a tidy home.

I love making new friends, though this is something I’ve often struggled with at times as people who have gotten to know the real me have often taking advantage of my good nature. I must say I do love a good hug, hugs to me are like a blanket for the soul.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt it’s never try to reason with an idiot, they will just drag you down to their level and always win. That's because they are never willing to admit when they might be wrong.

Things that I dislike are; drunken men, creepy clowns / carnivals, but most of all giant moths with their big red evil looking eyes, black leather jackets and Tommy guns, I just don’t like the way they seem to always want to flap their giant wings in your face. They are like the baddies of butterflies. I’m pretty sure if they could they would slowly try to take over the world. (Well okay, I might be slightly exaggerating, but you get the idea.) I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t really like things fluttering so close to my face, that and they kind of look creepy.

Over time I’ve realised that life is full of many epic moments, and that failure just happens to be one of them, when this happens it’s often known as an “epicfail” When such a moment occurs cake can often be offered as a gift, usually this is done by friends, it’s their way of showing that someone still cares, and this is known as “failcake”. Failcake comes in lots of different colours, shapes and sizes. I personally like cakes, so failure is not such a bad thing :)

And finally I’ll end things with a quote I made many many eons ago.

"True greatness is not something to be seen, it’s something to be felt" – NH

🌺🧸NH x

[pureewhitesnow]

Heheee you were one of the chosen ones! Ask chain be upon youu! No pressure tho :3

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers.

AHH !! ive been blessed ... thank you <3

5 Things that make me happy ..? Alot but i'll sum it up ;

1. Art in general , it has been my special interest in quite some time , i think 8 ~ 10 years ..? My family and environment support this dear hobby of mine , and with art .. i can make anything come to life , y'know ? it's ... a simple but powerful talent to hold on to <3

2. Music , music all the way !! i sleep with music or ambiance playing to calm myself down , and when i draw , when i play games , i'd always ... ALWAYS have music with me

3. Everyone i've met and the people / things i cherish / look up to . Even though my insane brain brings obstacles like making off - putting scenarios of them , they make me happy ... like a seretonin in disguise ... it's the reason i look up to them and cherish them <3

4. All the nice things people say to me ...? It's hard to think of something , but all the nice words people say whether they know me or not has been the reason for me to keep going ... i don't want the atmosphere to be sentimental all of a sudden , but ... they encourage me to love what i love , draw what i want , and all those ... nice things . their words flow like a wind that pushes me to keep running for that dream , y'know ? <3

5. This sounds REALLY stupid , but you know what ? Yashio Rui and Morfonica . i don't think i would find true happiness if it weren't for them ... i've never been this active in consuming my interest , but in a way , monica crosses the line ... and the only thing i've been watching and listening to has been monica , monica , monica ... even the live - band !! i love them all very dearly , they've pulled me out of the dark hole that is my life . *they* are the ones that make me happiest , especially rui . i really don't know what and how fate decided she would be a character i cherish , i'm still looking for the answer ... but she's the one that makes me happy , and when i feel down , i'd kindly ask my friends to send me icons and pictures of rui , just her in general ... she brings comfort , and i genuinely don't know how and why , but it's alright cuz i love her and her band utmost dearly ... and now i'm rambling like some stupid millennial about their high - school days ...

ENOUGH ME RAMBLING !! if you're that down to hear me infodump about rui go friend me on discord while also specify who you are ; [ somnusviolin ] ( jeez moth you and your shameless promotion )

this is so funny but embarrassing ... and it's ok i love what i love

not too sure if i want to send this to other peeps , but i really need to socialize ... i'll give it a shot ..!!

[wishful-seeker]

Trigger warning: im gonna be vulnerable and talk about ketamine infusions, if you don't like talks about drugs and heavy thoughts dni

So i did three days of ketamine infusions last week and it was the very first time, in 2 years of having k, that it was actually a manageable experience and had "good vibes".

This journey of ketamine has been extremely hard on me, which I've shared, especially the 10 day infusion in Tampa Those infusions are the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life and i think it'll be a very long time until i experience something that that difficult my life again. It was so hard that i can only think of a few scenarios of bad things happening to me that would be harder or come close. It was like a 2 week long ego death journey.

Anyways, especially since then (January) i have had a more and more difficult time coping with the fact i have to do these infusions forever, and as more time passes i will need higher doses and longer sessions just to live a spec of a normal life. If i want to write, walk, sit, use the computer, LIVE (not literally, figuratively), i have to do these infusions.

So this time, before my infusions, i was really determined to make them good, or at least not awful. I have to find away to cope. I spoke with my uncle, who had cancer for 7 years and beat it, i asked him "how did you decide to keep going and do chemo and your treatment, how did you cope with that?" And he said "you have to not let it be a choice. If you let it be a choice, you will choose to give up, so i didn't let it be a choice." Which really resonated with me because he is right, if i let it be a choice i would choose wrong. After that i tried finding more ways to cope. I have a painting idea sketched out in my journal, i want to take everything I've seen during my infusions and incorporate it into a landscape painting. For example i see a lot of moss, waterfalls, ferns, mountains, frogs, ect. My hallucinations are usually images of symbols like this, not scenes that play out. I actually scry with them. You guys know i enjoy black mirror scrying, i do the same think with ketamine infusions. I stare at a grey, blank wall, and watch the visions, later i then interpret them as a type of divination. Almost always the message i get is "You're safe, you're doing great, keep going." So i wanted to incorporate all of these into a landscape painting to help change my perspective. Well i worked on that painting for about 4 hours and it did make me feel introspective and a little better but it still wasn't enough.

Part of the reason its getting harder is im actually having less hallucinations because my tolerance is getting really high, i have to focus quite hard to see these images now. Im still high, things still look distorted like they are melting or breathing, but im getting less, pretty, comforting images. That makes it harder. If i cannot scry much anymore it gives me another reason to not like it. Lastly, ketamine makes me feel SMALL but not in a good "we're all connected" way, but as in "im insignificant" way. It makes me feel like i was born yesterday and im going to die tomorrow, my life and everything i care for is just a blip. During this time it felt like i had 2 lives, one high on the medicine that i desperately need, and the second getting relief from that medicine and being a normal person. It felt like the amount of times i was uncomfortably high, was not worth the amount of "normal person" time i had and it made me really depressed. I would wonder "do i have to spend my whole life getting high just do be normal for some of that time?" Its tough ass shit okay?

So, the day before the first infusion, i sat outside in my garden and i just spoke allowed how i felt. I knew i needed to come up with SOMETHING to reframe this and sometimes the only way i have epiphanies is if im talking to the moon, plants, and crickets.

I came to the conclusion that 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭. No matter how big the world or universe is around me by comparison, i am not small. My life, my dreams, the people i love are not small. My time spent is not small. And then i realized the garden i was sitting in was erected right after the Tampa treatments and it would not exist without the treatments I've done. "This garden is not small. These plants are alive, alive is not small, i did this with my own two hands, that is not small." I tried to do this with everything i could think of, if it exists IT IS NOT SMALL. And something clicked for me. I was okay, and i was ready.

Then we had the first infusion. My dad, who is my trip advisor every infusion, said i "breezed right through it." I was mostly lucid, motivated, and focused. The second one was much different unfortunately. The night after the first infusion my best friend came over. We were trying to "interrupt the infusions with normalcy" which really really helped. Most of the time people avoid me on infusion days because they assume i need rest, and they are right! I cannot do shit that day, but what i REALLY need is some company, so she came over and we talked. Me and my friend have been friends for about 6 or 7 years, we are way past small talk, we talk about heavy ass shit because we simply enjoy supporting each other. Unfortunately the day after during my infusion i was having intrusive thoughts about the topics we were discussing, and during the "peak" (which is where they let the drip free flow and you get a huge dose) i was having ptsd flashbacks and they had to sedate me. I didn't know i was sedated until after the infusions, hopefully that explains the peak a little. During that time i am not lucid, i am not a person, i cannot speak, i don't have thoughts, i cannot comprehend what is happening, and that is the worst part for me.

But, i made it out and i was not letting it be a choice, i had one more infusion. My friend came over the second night, i explained what happened and that we needed to keep the convo light, she took me on a walk in my wheelchair. It was dark and a little rainy. A neighbor saw us and said "rough night for a walk." And i said "its good enough."

Then the last day came. This time my nurse, who is the same nurse for all of my infusions, we'll call her Alex, wanted to try something new. Alex is in charge of everything regarding my infusions, i get 300mg over the course of 4 hours. Usually i receive 28mg per hour and then at the 4th hour they let the rest free flow which is the peak. Alex wanted to change it up. For the first 3 hours or so i was at 28mg an hour, but Alex said she wanted to increase it to 30mg an hour, i would be more high, but the peak at the end would be shorter and less intense. I said "go for it." So we did. At 30mg per hour i could still understand people and hold up a conversation although it was more difficult, we actually spoke to Alex for a lot of the time this infusion and i consider her a friend now. Then the peak came and i ACTUALLY could understand what my dad was saying to me, he tried to ask me a question but i was unable to respond but i was able to think "i cannot respond to that question rn" i did still reach a point of not being lucid but it was only for a few moments. I told Alex "thats the one." And now we will do that everytime and she has told everyone at the office. So now every time from here on out will be much easier, not only because we have the right formula but also because i worked my ass of changing my mindset.

I know this was very long, and wont get many notes at all, but i wanted to share my story anyways. I hope other crps patients may read this and feel less alone. I never see anyone talking about ketamine treatment in depth. I know its taboo to have a medication that is a psychedelic, and with the opioid crisis people get really worried about stuff like ketamine, but i wish more people would talk about it because i know i definitely feel alone. I don't know anyone else who has gone through what I've gone through and i would like to change that. I want to see the world talk more about crps and the treatment we have to endure. When i tell people i have crps, they've never even heard of it. If you personally don't know, please watch the Netflix documentary Take Care Of Maya, maya is a crps warrior. This disease so so fucking serious and so fucking detrimental and no one has even heard of it. And when i tell people the only way to recover is through ketamine, i can tell they are uncomfortable. My own sister doesn't want me to tell her anything about my infusions because she genuinely thinks its wrong my medication makes me high. She has told me "but isn't there something ELSE you could do?" As if the amazing relief i get from it doesn't matter. I would be getting worse and worse if i didn't have it and she will always think of me as a drug addict. I have to tell her how much i hate it for her to respect me at all. If i enjoyed my medication she would think less of me. There is a huge stigma with my medication, and i have no one who can relate to me other than other crps patients. So i hope if they are out there, they read this, and feel less alone.

[unrivalling]

5, 18, 29?

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

So I don’t like saying never, since things could always change. Some ideas never take off and some ideas seem dead before rising up out of the ground like zombies to torment the living.

I do have a Lot of Sk8 multichapters that there just simply is not enough of me to write. Maybe I’ll pick one of these up if/when we get an S2, or if I manage to publish an original book between now and then and feel better about writing longfic. They include:

1) a three part Fodlan AU epic where the Sk8 crew starts as a group of Robin Hood-esque outlaws before being arrested by the notorious Hubert von Vestra and conscripted as agents of Adrestia. Starts as adventure but turns into a war epic where they all struggle to recognize not only each other but also themselves.

2) Sk8 pirate AU

3) Sk8 thriller/murder mystery where someone dies via overdose of a mysterious new drug at S. Adam is caught between the yakuza, who think he’s branching out into dealing on their turf, and the police. The crew has to solve the crime before either party catches up to them.

4) Not a longfic, just not high on my list per se because it’s a little too bleak even for me.

Eden. Zombie apocalypse fic where skilled skateboarders, cyclists, rollerbladers etc are the best way to get messages or resources around the island. It starts out as the 8 of them but the crew dies one at a time as the years go on, until Adam and Langa are the only ones skilled enough to still be alive. They find comfort with each other in their shared history and shared solitude, and by the end it’s the only thing keeping them going.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Oh man this is a good question. There’s a lot I’m genuinely proud of, but probably this bit from From the Garden. (Sorry, including the whole paragraph because my fave lines doesn’t make sense without it)

Then there was Tadashi.

They’d been close, then far apart, then close again. The stubborn silence and hurt of the last seven years lived in Ainosuke’s bones right along with them coming back together, wanting to build a future after wasting all that time in an emotional standoff. No matter which way he looked at his life, it was a palindrome, with him and Tadashi growing distant and then close again.

Finally, he settled on memories of being a child with Tadashi, of that spectacular summer where Tadashi taught him to skate and they’d spent every day together. No matter what else had happened, Ainosuke had just needed to see Tadashi and their decks and he’d feel like he could fly. It was the happiest he’d ever been.

If he was fading, those were the memories he wanted to fade into.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

HMM there was an original draft of the Grell peril scene in Passing the World By that was a little hornier (inspired by a scene in the second Elvira movie), to the point where I decided to cut it and possibly expand it into its own fic at some point. This text won’t stay the same, but I want to repurpose the scenario.

To his surprise, he arrived in a chamber that was dimly lit by oil lamps. A desk littered with papers sat at one end of the room with a messy bookshelf behind it. All around the room, old torture devices lay in all sorts of configurations, rusted, dusted, and covered by cobwebs.

Sebastian fought the urge to stop and organize things. Just because someone was an occultist was no excuse for mess. In fact, he’d seen plenty of examples for why one should keep a tidy workstation when communing with the nether reaches of reality.

However, a steady, loud, clicking sound coming from the next room drew his focus instead.

When he opened the door to a spacious antechamber with a stone dais at the center, the person inside made eye contact and grinned wildly, tinged with a panic he’d rarely seen in a Reaper’s green eyes.

“Bassie! Oh my, how long has it been? Thirty years?!” She shifted uncomfortably, her back against stone. “I know I always say this, but I am glad to see you. Your timing is impeccable, you know that?”

Sebastian stepped through the entryway and took stock of the situation.

Grell Sutcliff was bound to a stone dais in the center of the room, her arms held over her head in a pair of strong metal stocks, while her ankles were locked in a second pair at the end of the dais. A matching metal collar was wrapped around her throat, her hair bunched up underneath it at the hinges as it kept her from lifting her head too high. Her captor had left her glasses, which didn’t seem like a mercy, considering the circumstances.

Overhead, a bladed pendulum hung in the air, swinging ominously back and forth directly over Grell’s stomach—it would have been nearly imperceptible to a human, but Sebastian could see that it was dropping further down. The sharpened blade glinted in the light, and it was easily identifiable as a reaper’s scythe.

He caught himself smiling. What an interesting predicament she’d found herself in.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you arranged this.” Sebastian leaned over, then glanced up at the blade overhead as it swung and ticked a notch closer. “Did you really miss me that much?”

[mvgnvsvntimvjoris]

All the cool "weirder" asks, which is maybe all of them? I dunno, I trust your judgment on which ones are the cool ones

I am SO SORRY, I read the ask, told myself to answer later the same days and managed to forget for ages ! But here it is, at last !!!

Weird asks, the cool ones ? You trust me too much with cool, I don't know how to identify cool !

I'll answer them all ! Thank you @mxcasual !

1 : Who is / are your comfort character(s) ? At the moment it might be Gale from Baldur's Gate 3 ? I need my escapism and he's a guy I'd geniunely be friend with. We would go to fantasy therapy together and do magic.

2 : Lighter or matches ? : Matches, I need that scratch before it ignites, it's a primal need ! Also I am just bad with lighters...

3 : do you leave the window open at night ? : If it's not too cold, yes, bring me that outside AIR

4 : which cryptyd being do you believe in ? Sadly none ? I wish for mothman tho, they seem pretty cool

5 : what color are your eyes ? Boring blue, YAWN

6 : why did you do that ? I don't know !

7 : hair-ties or scrunchies ? Scrunchies all the way, velvety black ones if possible

8 : how many water bottles are in your room right now ? Two, one empty and one full !

9 : which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee ? I tried both in various combination and I just don't like coffee when it's not in relation to desserts.

10 : would you slaughter the rich ? Yes

11 : favorite extracurricular activity ? Dreaming ?

12 : what kind of day is it ? I thought we were sunday but it's saturday night

13 : when was the last time you ate ? An hour ago, maybe two ?

14 : do you love the smell of earth after it rains ? Yes, and it drives me mad that I've lost my sense of smell years ago (not covid related, way before that).

15 : are you a parent ? Yes, of two cats, I wish I was a better parent to them

16 : can you drive ? Yes, had to !

17 : are you farsighted or nearsighted ? I never remember which one, but I have glasses !

18 : what hair products do you use ? uuuh Shampoo

19 : imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails ? Absolutely, but don't you dare painting mines, I hate the feeling of it, I have to scratch it off really quick

20 : do you say soda or pop ? Neither, here we say the drink's brand and that's it

21 : something you’ve kept since childhood ? Everything I could, but as one exemple a piece of a door handle I broke. Still have it. I like it.

22 : what type of person are you ? I don't know how to describe myself at all, I'm sorry

23 : how do you feel about chilly weather ? I love it but it doesn't and has me on a hit list.

24 : if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing ? Watching the sunset or the stars, either talking or enjoying silence together

25 : perfume/body spray or lotion ? None ? Allergy is a bitch and strong smells are deadly

26 : a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times ? IRL ? Because I'd have to answer : Failing at something

27 : about how many hours of sleep did you get ? Oh no, uh well last night was a mess, got 2 hours and I'm about to explode because of it

28 : do you wear a mask ? Yes

29 : how do you like your shower water ? Not too hot, barely body temperature, just enough

30 : is there dishes in your room ? No !

31 : what type of music keeps you grounded ? Classical, shits make me cry almost all of the time

32 : do you have a favorite towel ? I have one, my own, not really favorite just here to do the job !

33 : the last adventure you’ve been on ? Going to a concert in another country by car, does it count ?

34 : is there a song you know every word to by heart ? Way too many, sometimes I don't even like the song, but it's engraved. I need brain space but the songs won't go

35 : what’s your timezone ? uuuh, CET ? It's 10pm right now

36 : how many times have you changed your url ? I think twice, because I had a christmas one once

37 : someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years ? My oldest friend, went to school together when we were 12 and still being gentle annoyance to each other ! Also I'm pretty sure i have tumblr mutuals who count too

38 : a soap bar that smells good ? I don't know : ( loved lavender

39 : do you use lip balm ? No, can't stand the texture on my lips, has to get rid of it immediately...

40 : did you have any snacks today ? No, but I had two meals ! (little victories)

41 : how do you take your coffee ? I don't

42 : an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site ? Instagram, another godforsaken site

43 : what’s your take on spicy foods ? I like it a lot, my stomach likes it less :o)

44 : you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it ? Uuuh....********* ******

45 : can you remember what happened yesterday ? A bit ? Showed a monsters book to my oldest niece, then I watched her play minecraft while I played Animal Crossing, made dinner, talked with the fam, watched 3 hours documentaries on the weather, then movie critics, then I fell asleep.

46 : favorite holiday film ? I...by default I think Nightmare Before Christmas ? But that's more because I first saw it when I was a kid (like 6 ?), a familly friend gave it to us as a Christmas movie and VHS's opening short film kind of traumatized me ? I love it for halloween now tho

47 : what was the last message you sent ? "La lumière t'attend !"

48 : when did you first try an alcohol beverage ? Well one christmas when I was a child (no idea the age, around 7 ?), family left and I tried to finish a red wine glass, it was disgusting

49 : can you skip rocks ? YES, it's so fun ! Been years !!

50 : can i tag you in random stuff ? Of course !

[definitely-not-iorveth]

I kneeeww you’d reblog them x3 gimme all

OKAY FINALLY THE TIME HAS COME

*rolls sleeves up*

who is/are your comfort character(s)? is anyone going to be surprised if i say iorveth

lighter or matches? matches. it is so fascinating to watch the flame slowly crawl up the stick ☺️🥰

do you leave the window open at night? i tend to, except during winter and mosquito season

which cryptyd being do you believe in? none sadly

what color are your eyes? brown

why did you do that? why did i do what

hair-ties or scrunchies? i think i'm partial to scrunchies

how many water bottles are in your room right now? probably zero? not sure tho. i'm not in my room right now. i'm not even in the country.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? BOTH ARE EQUALLY GROSS

would you slaughter the rich? with pleasure

favorite extracurricular activity? writing

what kind of day is it? rainy

when was the last time you ate? for actual food, about 7-8 hours ago. for a snack, like an hour

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? hmm... i'm going to say yes

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) yes i am the deadbeat father to a longcat plushie. his name is marian.

can you drive? kind of but not really

are you farsighted or nearsighted? painfully nearsighted

what hair products do you use? shampoo. that's it.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? hell yeah.

do you say soda or pop? soda

something you’ve kept since childhood? i don't think i have a thing like that

what type of person are you? what does that even mean. what are my options.

how do you feel about chilly weather? strong dislike

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? i mean that depends on the rooftop??? there are so many rooftops out there.

perfume/body spray or lotion? ew, neither

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? idk how to answer this question. scenario for what?

about how many hours of sleep did you get? 7-8

do you wear a mask? sometimes

how do you like your shower water? warm to boiling, depending on the time of year

is there dishes in your room? see the answer to bottles of water

what type of music keeps you grounded? various kinds

do you have a favorite towel? no

the last adventure you’ve been on? exploring the Court Gardens

is there a song you know every word to by heart? hmm, not anymore, i think

what’s your timezone? utc+2

how many times have you changed your url? on this blog or in general? on this blog, 4 times i think?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? no

a soap bar that smells good? i don't use soap bars

do you use lip balm? yes my lips and the area around them cracks something awful

did you have any snacks today? yes

how do you take your coffee? i don't

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? spotify

what’s your take on spicy foods? good for the soul, bad for the stomach

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? there are SO many people. SO MANY PEOPLE. but i'd start with jarosław kaczyński.

can you remember what happened yesterday? yes

favorite holiday film? no

what was the last message you sent? iorveth fire emoji

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? at like 9? not quite sure

can you skip rocks? eh, not that well

can i tag you in random stuff? ALWAYS

whew

this was hard

BUT I FUCKING GOT THROUGH IT

thank you for the ask! 😘💚