#this guy has a MIGHTY choke hold on me

[bergselise]

[satorusugurugurl]

We Can Be Louder

Summary: When staying in a hotel, a couple next door is a little too loud— but you and Nanami can be louder.

Characters: Nanami Kento x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: hotel smut, unprotected sex, loud, vocal, moans, dirty talk, p in v, creampie, language

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: I have a mighty need to grope Nanami’s butt rawr! 💚💚💚

“Ooooooh God,” a high pitched voice rang from the hotel room right next to you. “Oh God, baby fuck.” Your eyes widened as you turned your head to look back at the wall behind you. The sound of their bed slamming against the wall was almost deafening and powerful enough to cause your own bed to shake.

The sound of their phony moans made your nose turn up in sympathy for the girl and embarrassment from how loud they were. Nanami sat beside you in bed, placing his book down as the moans grew louder. From the whimpers and grunts, you had an inkling that this was not going to last long for them. Your best guess was that it was a young college couple; maybe it was their first time, or they weren't as experienced. Your hypothesis was all focused on the girl who was practically moaning like a porn star. It's wholly fake and unnatural.

“She’s faking it,” You announced to Kento as you took a sip of your wine, “and the poor guy has no idea that she is.” Nanami chuckled, furrowing his eyebrows as he placed his bookmark in place, turning to watch you closely. “I bet you twenty bucks he doesn't last longer than five minutes.”

“Oh, Love,” Nanami chuckled deeply, the sound igniting a fire inside you. “It's going to end way faster than that.”

“Oooh, my goodness, Ken, what makes you say that?”

“Nngh!” the stranger next door shouted as the bed started creaking again. “D-Don’t squeeze so t-tight!”

The corner of Nanami’s mouth twitched as he fought against a grin. “That right there speaks volumes.”

You found yourself unable to focus on your book, more intrigued by the young couple next door. You kept stealing glances at the wall, listening in on their not-so-quiet conversation. The girl kept screaming, ‘Oh my God, ’ while her companion kept asking questions like, ‘Oh yeah?’ and ‘You like that baby?’ It was quite entertaining. They both were inexperienced, unsure of what to say in bed, only having porn or books to use as a reference as to what sex would be like. They were mixing fiction into reality.

The bed pounding got faster and louder. “Oh,” you laughed, “he’s gonna finish soon.” Nanami laughed as you fist pumped in the air to the sound of the bed frame being slammed into the wall.

“I’m gonna-” the young man shouted, “I’m gonna blow my load!” You choked on your wine at his declaration, the alcohol coming out of your nose. “Oooooooh fuck!!!” You covered your mouth, coughing roughly as the man moaned loudly. It wasn’t short after that the girl gave a very poor performance of her own orgasm. Apparently, she didn’t want him to feel bad that she hadn’t finished with him. The moans that had barely started died down, leaving you and Nanami staring at the wall with sympathy. Glancing down at your watch, you grinned, holding it out for Nanami to see. “Five minutes on the spot.”

He shook his head, laughing slightly, “Pretty good for a first time; I can’t tell you how long I lasted my first time.” He grabbed his glass of wine and drank before running his tongue over his lips. “I’m relatively certain the girl I was with just laid there awkwardly.”

“Yeah,” you turned on your side, looking up at him, “my first time was at this guy's house. I was so excited to do it finally.” You held your fist, putting a single finger up as you spoke. “There was hardly any kissing, we undressed ourselves, no foreplay, he got on top, and it was over in literally one minute.”

“This is the part where you tell me you’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope, one minute was all I got. Hell, I didn’t have my first real orgasm until I was twenty-two.”

“Well, that’s unfair,” he put his book down on the nightstand. “what do you say we make up for that first time?” You giggled, grinning ear to ear as Nanami undid the buttons on his shirt. “I’ll make sure to give you the best orgasm you’ve ever had. Make up for the ones you’ve had to fake all those years ago.”

You lay flat on your back as Nanami removed his shirt, dropping it to the ground. Slowly, he crawled on top of you, looking at you as if you were his prey. There was a dark and needy gleam in his eyes that caused your breath to catch in your throat. You knew right there that it would be a long, sweaty night with him. He began running his long fingers underneath your nightgown. He slowly pushed the silky fabric up, bunching it at your hips. His lips slowly pressed kisses along the inside of your thighs as you ran your finger through his hair, tugging it softly.

A growl that was full of desire escaped his lips as he tugged the nightgown off all the way, throwing it across the room. Before you knew it, he was pulling his pajama pants off, exposing his hardened erection. Licking your lips, you spread your legs open, giving him a better view of your body that he loved. His eyes wandered down, taking you all in, inch by inch, before he grabbed both your legs, putting them over his shoulders. Your mouth suddenly went dry as the head of his cock brushed against your opening.

“God, you’re soaking wet.” He whispered, rocking his hips slowly, the swollen head of his throbbing cock brushed gently against your clit. “I need you. I need to make up for the first time.” Rolling your eyes, you rocked back against him, moaning at the pleasurable sensations rushing through your pussy.

“Nanami, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so yes, every time we have sex, it’s better than my first time.” You dangled your feet over his shoulders, the head of his cock pressed firmly against your opening. “So what do you say? You stop teasing me and fuck me already. Let’s show these college kids how it’s done.”

He chuckled before kissing you deeply and pressing his forehead against yours. “You don’t have to tell me twice.” Slowly he pushed into you, his cock slipping past your slick folds, stretching your walls. The sensation left you moaning loudly as you gripped the sheets underneath you. You squeezed around his cock, taking all of him inside of you as he pressed against your cervix. “Fuck Love,” he groaned, nipping at your lip, “no matter how many times we do this, I’ll never get over how good you feel.” As soon as he was entirely inside of you, his body relaxed. The two of you relished in the feeling of each other's skin.

His hands traced over your body, his hands groping your breasts before sliding down and running down the curves of your body. You mirrored his actions, trailing your hands down his bare and muscular back. Your nails grazed him softly before meeting the fat of his ass. It was at this moment that he pulled out of you, looking into your eyes before he plunged back into you. You cried out, your head falling against the pillows, and your lips parted. His thrusts left your eyes watering at the intense sensation. Nanami hissed, repeating the action several times, each thrust harder than the previous one. The intensity of the rhythm had sweat beading against his neck and over his chest as sweat ran down your own collarbone, trailing over the swells of your breasts.

Your hands grope his ass, allowing you to feel it flex with each thrust in and out of your tight wet pussy. With each push of his hips, the bed slams into the wall behind you. With each thrust that was angeled right against your g-spot, you screamed. As your screams increased in volume, Kento slammed his lips against yours as you cried out in pleasure, shouting his name to the heavens. You wanted everyone in the hotel to know who was fucking you this good. Who was exploring and ravishing your body, treating you like a goddess. When you were with Nanami, it was like experiencing heaven on earth. It was so surreal and so perfect.

The bed slammed harder into the wall as Nanami’s grunts and growls of pleasure grew louder. Your name was like a curse on his lips; it came out like a hiss, a groan, and a gasp. His name escaped your lips like a prayer as you begged him to make you feel good.

“Nanami! Oh fuck Kento!” He stared down at you, smirking at your moans. “Fuck me, baby! Fuck me harder!” He captured your lips against his, his hips hauling harder as he lifted one of your legs in the air. “Oh my God!” you cried out, your eyes rolling back as his cock slammed into your cervix.

“You like that, Love? You like my cock buried deep inside of you?”

‘Y-Yes Ken!” You cried out, digging your fingers into the skin of his arms, “I love it! I love it when you fuck me!”

“That’s my girl,” you clenched harder around him. “Oh darling, are you going to cum already? Cum all over my thick hard cock?” The pleasure inside began to tighten along with the coil in your lower abdomen. Nanami reached down, rubbing your clit as he continued to thrust. Your inner walls throbbed around him as the tightening coil within you threatened to snap at any given second. “Don’t hold back, cum for me, Love, cum for me.” Another brush against your clit had the coil in your abdomen snapped, sending you over the edge.

“Kento!!” You screamed, your walls clenching down around his cock. They fluttered as the immense pleasure rushed through you. Causing your body to wither and jerk underneath him, nails digging into his skin as you came. “Oh my God!”

“Love, fuck nngh!!” He grunted, hips stilling as he came deep within you. You shuddered, mouth falling agape as you felt hot spurts of cum coat your walls. “Oh fuck!” Kento let your leg go before he collapsed on top of you. His chest heaved as he pressed kisses along your shoulder before burying his face against your skin, remaining there.

As he lay on top of you, mumbling how much he loved you, you couldn’t help but smile. Glancing down at your left ring finger, you giggled happily. The ring glimmered in the low lights of the hotel suite. Only two days into your honeymoon, it has been amazing so far. It was a reminder that this was how the rest of your life would be. You and Nanami in bed together, going on trips, loving your loves to the fullest.

“Say, Mrs. Nanami?” Nanami grumbled, lifting his head to look at you. You pushed some hair out of his face, pressing your lips together.

“Yes, Mr. Nanami?”

“Let’s put our books away for the rest of tonight; I would much rather spend the night here inside of you.” He trailed his calloused fingers over your sensitive skin. His request fluttered your heart as you kissed his forehead, nodding in response to his question. “Good, let’s see how long it’ll take for the couple next door to regret getting the room next to the honeymoon suite~.”

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree

[ventitititi]

Hello and goodevening/morning/afternoon to you! I just wanna ask if you do Dainsleif x reader but the reader is Zhongli's child? Idk this idea just popped in my head minutes ago 💀

HI NONNIE and thank you:)) its literally 3:30am for me and i was doodling but this has POTENTIAL OTL

I've never written dainsleif before so bear with me here, I'll be keeping it sfw too since i don't know if you wanted smut or not, feel free to send me another request if you do!!

•since you're zhongli's child i imagine you are pretty AS HECK like, half dragon half whatever you're mother was YOU CAN PROBABLY PURR (i love the headcanon that zhongli purrs a lot)

•ANYWAYS not the point, what I'm getting at is despite his long life, dainsleif is probably still enraptured by you're appearance (even if he does a mighty fine job of hiding it)

•listen, if you manage to stick around him enough I'm absolutely CERTAIN he'll eventually give in and start a serious relationship with you

•probably partly aided by your extended life span (he's gonna be around for a long time afterall)

•delights in teaching you ancient history (much like your father) and is vv soft about it

•probably like, grabs random flowers or something for you and explains their history briefly (in contrast to zhonglis rambling tendencies he keeps it short and concise)

•although he's also pretty broody i think so be prepared for quiet days too, maybe y'all just co-exist in a peaceful silence at these times

•takes forever to accept comfort (probably does for the first time on a really hard day)

•will literally carry around random trinkets you gave him on a whim in his pockets (how he carries them all later into your relationship is beyond everyone)

•i think he doesn't really like sweets but mans is secretly whipped and won't tell you, choking down any desserts you've made just to see you smile

•SO DOWN BAD FOR YOU BUT WILL NEVER ADMIT IT AND IS REALLY GOOD AT HIDING IT UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR

•soft quiet couple, thats you two

•one time he was scowling and you did your best impression of it and he had to try so hard to stifle his smile and laughter because it was just too cute funny

•dotes on you but you'd never know it because you don't often see him interact with others

•holds you close when you guys rest during your travels (he's a cuddler but if you told anyone they wouldn't believe you)

[frogizz]

The Untamed Episode 32ish spoilers

I've been real quiet about my thoughts watching The Untamed. I haven't read the novel yet but I've been looking at the fan wiki so I know how different things kinda are. Anyways, I'ma list how I feel about the characters and what not. I am at episode 32 or 33 btw.

Yanli is a sweetheart, an angel, a gift to this Earth AND HOW SHE DIES IS HEART WRENCHING! She just gave birth a month ago, she just lost her husband to some stupid fight, her injury and death is blamed on her kinda innocent brother, IM FURIOUS. She deserved so much more than she got, I knew she died young but not like this!

I never trusted Jin Guangyao from the start, I don't like his face (It's the character, not the actor, the actor is fine). He is shady and from the looks of his wiki page, I was right about my gut feeling.

Jin Zixuan has been a tough guy for me to like, but honestly, as long as he made Jiang Yanli happy, he was decent in my book.

THE HYPOCRATES THE JIN CLAN ARE. Explain to me how they think they can do whatever they want just because they aren't the Wen Clan? Their mentality is that they can do what they want because they believe they're already incapable of doing or being bad, when they should really be having the mentality of avoiding doing bad actions and reflect. Jin Zixun annoyed the hell out of me because he was the main culprit of acting just like he was all high and mighty.

Jin Zixun and the other smaller clans just HAD to point fingers and antagonize somebody, didn't they? Like of course, the Wen clan did terrible things, but you don't kill innocent people! Wei Wuxian didn't need to play the hero, but honestly, who would've stepped up to save them? Everything would've been fine if jin Zixun didn't assume Wei Wuxian cast that spell on him and went for the violent route.

I know Wen Qing doesn't show up as much in the novel, which I'll be sad reading through scenes I expected her to be in after watching The Untamed, but she is one of my favorites. She is innocent, or at least mostly, in my eyes. Her actions were those of "I don't want to exactly get involved, and I also kinda think that my clan is doing some bullsh*t but I can't exactly rebel now can I?". I could be wrong, but she deserved a better fate.

Wen Ning, oh my gosh, he deserved better too, he was such a good kid, SUCH A GOOD KID, and he got abused and basically tortured. He deserves more than to be a ghost puppet.

WEI WUXIAN YOU IDIOT, YOU MADE A PROMISE TO YOUR SISTER, YOU TOLD HER THE THREE OF YOU WOULD BE TOGETHER FOREVER YET YOU RUN OFF SO EASILY TO SAVE THE WEN REMNANTS?! Of course, who would've saved them if not Wei Wuxian, that's not necessarily bad. But he just didn't think twice about the promise he made to Jiang Yanli when he just left like that. Not cool dude. Not. Cool.

I don't hate Jiang Cheng, and I don't love him either. I like him, his actions are valid and especially his thoughts are too. To me he is reasonable and makes judgement based on what the audience sees, so I think he is sometimes portrayed as some angry guy when really, he is reacting to things without knowing the full story.

OOH I JUST KNOW THAT MOFO WHO WAS MAKING THE SPIRITS GO OUT OF CONTROL AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY WAS JIN GUANGYAO. Now, I have no evidence, but hear me out, where TF did he go after all the fighting broke out?

I really wanna write some fanfics of 2-5 chapters of different "What if" scenarios regarding Wei Wuxian's decisions in his life and how things could've been better.

Wen Yuan is so adorable and I will protect him with my life. I don't know too much about how he is as Lan Sizhui (btw, I think he's only an adult in The Untamed because he's around 3 when he was Wen Yuan and 16 passed so he's older compared to the novel which makes him 16 years old as Lan Sizhui. Fact check me please).

The music has me in a choke hold.

I have no opinion on Lan Wangji besides he's cool and Wei Wuxian's biggest supporter.

I care a lot more for Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian relationships being fine and healthy than I do for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangi. Mostly because we don't get to see the romance in The Untamed but I hope to see that connection and care for their relationship more when I read the novel. Until then, the siblings are all I care about because they're family and they could've been so happy together.

The way I sobbed when the Jiang clan was attacked and the previous Jiang clan leader and his wife died. The way the Jiang siblings were now orphaned and Wei Wuxian was orphaned a second time. (I call all three of them the Jiang siblings, is there another thing I can call them that would make more sense? I know Wei Wuxian was a part of the Jiang clan but he doesn't have the family name nor is he part of the clan anymore.)

Lan Xichen is another one of my favorites. Never hated any of his actions or words for one second. He is so agreeable and likeable for me. Reminds me of how I felt towards Yue Qingyuan when reading SVSSS. 10/10 character, mwah.

Where TF are my Nie Huaisang scenes, he barely shows up and I kinda wanna see him more.

Jin Ling is so adorable as a baby but damn does he take after his uncle.

I find it sweet that even after leaving the clan, Wei Wuxian was still allowed to see Jiang Yanli's wedding dress and even name his nephew. So sweet, I cried at that scene. She was so pretty, she was so generous to give a portion of the soup to Wen Ning and I love her generosity and kindness to the heavens.

I'm not gunna lie, I wasn't expecting Jin Zixun's death to be like how it was but it was kind of deserved? I was a little sad when Jin Zixuan died though, only because Jiang Yanli would be a widow with a newborn. Can't hurt my girl emotionally like that, just can't.

Last but not least, I can't remember his name and that one chick, but that Young Master Wen, I hated his face, his smug look, I think his death was deserved. And that lady he had with him all of the time, so annoying, so pitiful, they did a great job acting because they made me hate their faces.

Oh yeah, and, Wei Wuxian is an idiot, but a thoughtful idiot. I say that affectionally and I don't think he's actually full of himself (my interpretation can be so wrong and I'll realize that later). He does things for others not to look good (or at least that isn't the main concern), but to actually do something that no one else does. He plays the hero because no one else will help. Although, yeah, he does take on big challenges to look cool but at the end of the day, It's not really all for his own gain.

Okay, that's it. See another post like this when I finish Ep. 50 and I can't wait to find access to the animated MDZS!

[tickle-bugs]

Itchin’ For Your Smile

Summary: Bucky has some...creative methods to deal with hard-to-reach itches. Sam inherits his curse. Domestic, romantic WinterFalcon. They’re dating but they don’t know it yet.

Watching Bucky is by far Sam’s favorite activity. It’s like people watching, but one person, and the person in question never ceases to be utterly fascinating. Even now, when he’s slumped over the kitchen table like a sack of potatoes, unmoving and half-asleep, Sam likes to watch his little mannerisms. Bucky hides in his arms from the sun but snuggles into the warmth of it. When the glare off his arm starts to annoy him, he makes a grumbly, defeated noise and sinks deeper into the table.

This is the same man that could catch a knife in mid-air and return it to the sender with just as much force. Same guy.

“Coffee or juice?”

“Juice is fine.” Bucky sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. His dog tags bounce rhythmically against his bare chest, catching the morning light and scattering it across the room. His hair sticks up in all directions, sorta like a hedgehog, and Sam has to duck to hide his smile. 

“You look like you slept well.” Sam turns the eggs over once more, for luck, and pushes them onto two plates. He scrapes the extra cheese onto Bucky’s plate. He likes when it crisps in the pan. 

“I did.” Bucky stretches, voice straining with his muscles. He’d finally started sleeping--and on the couch, no less. The first few days of staying with the Wilsons were utterly restless. Sam had to pretend he didn’t hear the back door creaking when Bucky came in, drenched in sweat not entirely from the exercise, drinking from the tap like a man who’d been lost in the desert. 

“Good.” Sam turns his attention to the bacon--nearly done, but not quite crispy enough. A bit of grease pops on his hand and he curses softly, running his hand under the faucet. 

A strange scraping noise, dull and slightly muffled, grabs Sam’s attention and he spares a peek in Bucky’s direction. 

Bucky’s dragging his back against a corner in the living room, scraping the sharp point of the wall from shoulder to shoulder. Every once and a while he does a little shimmy and rubs his spine against the drywall. 

Sam knows how much effort and trust it takes for Bucky to even sleep in the house, let alone feel comfortable enough to do whatever Yogi Bear nonsense he was doing at the moment, but he has to say something. He has to. A super soldier—Bucky specifically, the king of severity—is scratching his back like a forest creature...in his living room. A better setup would never come again. 

The image of Bucky’s haunted face flickers across Sam’s mind. If Steve was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me. 

Hm. Not worth it. 

In a herculean effort, Sam bites his tongue, pointedly fixing his attention on serving breakfast without another burn. The bacon pops threateningly at him a few times and he stabs it with the fork, beating back the mighty beast. 

Bucky crowds into his space back-first without a word. Sam stares. Bucky shuffles a little.

“Can I...help you?” Sam chokes back a laugh. 

“Scratch.” Bucky clears his throat. Asking without asking. 

“Big bad supersoldier can’t reach his back?” Sam grins. 

“Forget it.” Bucky goes to leave but Sam pulls him back by the bicep. He does a gingerly test-scratch near Bucky’s lower back and he visibly softens. Bucky’s walls recede and he opens up slowly, like a flower. 

“Where…?”

“Middle.” Bucky shimmies again. Sam scratches his fingers upwards, tripping along the knobs of his spine like a ladder. 

A breathy “holy shit” drips from Bucky’s lips. Sam never expected to see a supersoldier’s knees go weak during this lifetime, but he commits the sight to memory. Bucky leans back against Sam’s chest a little. Sam works around him. 

“Good?” Sam hopes his voice doesn’t come out too strangled. Bucky’s warm where their bodies meet. His fingers navigate delicate scars with grace and care. He drinks in the dizzying privilege of this domesticity and holds it tight. His fingertips buzz as they roam.

“Great.” Bucky’s voice trembles on a sigh. There’s getting an itch, then there’s satisfying an itch. If the full body shiver that Bucky does is any indication, Sam’s damn good at his job. He’s supporting Bucky’s full weight while he indulges him.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, now. You’ve still got a whole shed to paint.” Sam chuckles softly, giving Bucky’s shoulders a fond squeeze. 

“Hm?” Bucky’s voice actually does sound a little lax and rough with sleep. “Oh, yeah. I’ll do it.”

Sam feels like the worst person in the world. He sets aside their breakfast with reckless abandon, slamming every knob on the stove until he can ensure there’s no fire, and then he slides back into Bucky’s space.

“Get back here.” Sam goes back to gently scritching at Bucky’s back, hoping the feeling is enough to keep him from asking questions.

“‘Kay.” Bucky hums and stays right where he is, content to bask. Sam’s fingers roam a little too close to Bucky’s side. He jumps, breath hitching. A lazy smile takes over Sam’s face. This is too good. 

“Ticklish, Barnes?” Sam wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder. 

“No.” Bucky tenses minutely. Sam grins. He reminds him of the rabbits that dart around the house in the mornings, like he’ll become invisible if he stops moving. Cute.

“Okay.” Sam pats his hands against Bucky’s stomach and lets go, chewing furiously on his lower lip to not give himself away. Bucky’s still tense, not-so-discreetly watching Sam over his shoulder. Sam starts to fiddle with the stove, not really doing anything, and waits…

“Come eat.” Sam tilts his head towards the pan. Bucky huffs softly and slides past him, reaching up for the plates in the cabinet. Sam slips behind him and burrows his fingers into Bucky’s stomach. 

“I-I am gonna kill yohohou.” Bucky’s laugh is a shooting star jostled free from between his ribs. His hands immediately fly to circle Sam’s wrists and he squirms like there’s no tomorrow. Sam plants his feet so they both don’t topple over. 

“Well, then I definitely can’t stop.” Sam’s fingers trip lower, grazing Bucky’s hips. He yelps and looses an incoherent string of noises before he doubles over in Sam’s arms, laughing so frantically that his body trembles with it. Bending over just pushes Sam’s fingers in deeper, really, so he takes advantage and gives the bones a test squeeze. 

Bucky’s head crunches back into Sam’s nose. He stumbles back into the kitchen counter and his vision blurs for a second. 

“Shit,” Sam laughs, pinching the bridge of his nose. A slight dribble of blood starts gathering in his hand and he fumbles for the paper towels with his free one. Bucky’s hand brushes his as he helps grab some—way too many, Sarah’s gonna kill them both. He hovers and stares intently, gripping handfuls of napkins like he’s gonna clean up a semi-truck-sized spill. 

“M’fine, Buck. Suffered far worse for stupider things.” Sam sniffs and dabs at his nose with a napkin from Bucky’s stash. It throbs dully, but he’s lucky it’s not broken. Probably. He’s had worse. 

“Can’t think of anything stupider than trying to tickle a super soldier.” Bucky huffs a laugh, light and easy. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans his hip against the counter. 

“Huh. I can’t think of anything better.” Sam grins. He throws away the napkins and washes his hands, watching as Bucky turns rosy pink. 

Goosing Bucky’s side as he walks by is well worth the revenge of getting tickled within an inch of his life, pinned underneath the man whose orbit keeps him steady. They’re both immature children, but they’re safe. They’re home.

…

Sam finds himself suffering The Itch just two days later. No matter how he contorts, he can’t reach, and his shoulder’s starting to scream with that ‘dislocation risk imminent’ type of burn. He’s starting to understand the appeal of using walls for backscratchers. This shit’s excruciating.

“Buck!” Sam groans loudly into the couch. 

“What?” Bucky bristles, nearly sloshing his tea onto the hardwood. He slams his copy of The Two Towers shut around his thumb. He’s become one with the leather armchair. 

“C’mere.” Sam flaps his arm in his general direction. 

“Why?” Bucky narrows his eyes.

“Just get over here.” Sam waves him over frantically. When Bucky sits down his tea and steps cautiously into reach—it takes literal years—Sam snags his wrist and slaps Bucky’s hand bodily onto his back.

“Scratch. Right there.” 

“Seriously?” Bucky chuckles at him.

“Do it.” Sam wiggles insistently. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Sam can hear Bucky’s eye roll but he doesn’t care. He’s a desperate man. Blunt nails scritch at the center of his spine and Sam melts into the couch. He lets out a shivering little breath and clutches a throw pillow for dear life. 

“Up, up—okay now left—yeah, that’s it,” Sam sighs. The silence from Bucky is suspiciously fond. 

“I hear you laughing at me,” Sam mumbles into the couch. If his bones hadn’t turned to jelly he’d lift his head to glare, but Bucky’s slowly taking him apart at the seams. He’s sand free of the hourglass. He’ll have to be surgically removed from these cushions.

“Me? I would never.” Bucky’s other hand touches down near Sam’s shoulder. His fingers pass over Sam’s shoulderblade and he yelps, rolling over quicker than he ever could in the air. He raises his hands in preemptive surrender. 

“Bucky.” 

“Sam,” he grins. His eyes glitter with a manic sort of playfulness.

“Bucky.”

“Sam.” They stare at each other for a long, tense moment. 

Sam throws himself over the back of the couch, knowing the bruises will be well worth it if it means he’ll escape. A cold grip clamps around his ankle and pulls him backwards into two strong, foreboding arms. He manages to spin around and face Bucky, but then there are traitorous hands tickling up his spine and he can’t do much else. 

“Your back? Really?” Bucky muses. Sam starts to slide down under him to get away. Oh, this is so stupid. He thought he’d outgrew this. 

“Y-You’re one to talk!” Sam’s voice crackles around his laughter and he writhes. Bucky finds a spot on the back of his ribs and Sam jumps. Bucky makes a thoughtful sound, the bastard, and keeps his fingers wiggling steady there until Sam’s throwing his head back 

The crossed wires in Sam’s brain spark and he pulls Bucky down into a kiss before he can think better of it. They both freeze and pull apart. Bucky hovers in his space, his dog tags dangling between them. He doesn’t look at Sam as much as he looks into him. His gaze flits to Sam’s mouth and he darts in to pull them back together. 

Sam’s knee slides up and his hand sits heavy on the back of Bucky’s neck. His thumb swipes at the short buzz of hair there and he slides his fingers fully into the scalp. Bucky makes a quiet noise into his mouth and tilts into it, licking gently at his bottom lip. He’s solid and sweet as his hands roam down Sam’s chest. 

Bucky pulls back first, but he doesn’t pull away. He cradles Sam like a heroine in a romance novel, which is fucking ridiculous but not unwelcome. He looks down at Sam with glittering awe and a well of fondness. A gentle hum resonates in his chest and passes through both of them. 

“What?” Sam huffs. He feels dizzy. Bubbly. There’s an addictive buzz beneath his skin that he wants to chase. Bucky smirks. Sam resists the urge to kiss him again. 

“Nothin’. Just can’t believe you thought that would work.” Bucky shoves his hands under Sam’s arms and he flails. Fucking traitor. Sam cackles and writhes under every twitch of his fingers. He honest-to-god snorts at one point, curling in on himself. Bucky laughs.

“Don’t--”

“Oh, I will.” Bucky’s eyelids lower and he presses back in, searching for the sound again. Sam slams his head back. He’s vicious, gentle, and precise, and Sam might be losing his mind a little. If not now, definitely for future him who’s never gonna win another argument in his life. If there’s anything Bucky has besides jokes, it’s audacity. 

Bucky leans forward, a teasing grin dancing on his lips, and tickles just so at Sam’s top rib. Sam flinches forward so hard that the room spins. 

Crunch. 

Sam pulls back with a gasp as his laughter dies, sudden and startled. Bucky holds a hand underneath his nose but he’s grinning. Blood drips onto his fingers and he tries to catch it. Sam’s soul leaves his body. He pushes a chuckling Bucky into the kitchen. 

“Sam, I’m fine--”

“Sit. Shut up.” Bucky does as he’s told, but not without a token eye roll. Sam pulls out way too many paper towels and shoves them in his hands. Bucky giggles, a bright and delirious sound. Sam wants to capture it in a jar and let it light his life like a firefly. 

“Eye for an eye, nose for a nose. We, uh. We match.” Bucky squints at him with a ghost of a smile. His voice is kind of nasally. Sam snorts. 

“You’re ridiculous.” He puts a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bandaid over the red line starting to form on the bridge of Bucky’s nose. 

“You love me.” Bucky rolls his eyes and sniffs. He balls up the paper towels and throws them at the trashcan. When he makes it--of course he does--he gives Sam a cheeky grin. 

“Yeah, I do.” Sam shakes his head and lets his smile run wide. Bucky’s gaze turns soft and mottled with surprise, like he’s slowly melting into the emotions rolling over him. His eyes drop to Sam’s lips, then flick back up through his lashes. His mouth falls open slightly. 

He leans forward dangerously on the stool, gripping it to keep his balance, and presses his lips to Sam’s oh-so-gently. He falls forward onto his feet and manages to keep the stool from falling without breaking the kiss. Warm hands raise to tenderly cup Sam’s jaw. Their bodies fit together beautifully. 

“Hi,” Sam breathes, watching Bucky’s eyes flutter open. He’s starting to freckle from the constant touch of the Louisiana sun. Sam brushes a thumb over his cheek. 

“You love me,” Bucky repeats again, slowly, and his eyes frantically take in every aspect of Sam’s face. It’s the same tone he uses to reassure himself of the world around him. As if Sam and all his love might disappear. Like there’d be anywhere worth going without him. 

“Don’t let it go to your head. Your ego’s big enough as it is.” Sam lightly swats his chest. Bucky catches his hand and presses it to his chest, right over his dog tags. Bucky’s pulse flutters under Sam’s palm. His grin is small and bashful, threatening to bloom fully. 

Sam could cry, really. Tender is the word turning over and over in his brain, fresh and warm like a blanket out the dryer. 

“You’re a sap.” Sam wiggles his fingers and Bucky chuckles with a flash of teeth. Oh, the cities he’d burn to protect the sanctity of that smile. 

“You lo—“ Bucky gets a cocky little look to him. Sam kisses him before he can finish.

[palajae]

tomorrow, again | three.

PAIRING ▸ school president! jungwon x reader x outcast! niki 

GENRE ▸ high school! au, love triangle!, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT ▸ 4.5k

SUMMARY ▸ if you were told that two complete polar opposite guys from your school were eventually going to be fighting over you, you would have laughed it off. that is, until it really happens- but certainly not under the conditions you expect.

AKA jungwon is the peak definition of your school’s itboy and niki is just… there (if and when he actually shows up to school). 

NOTES ▸ events/memories in the past are italicized. mentions of violence/like one fight lol?

masterlist. | previous. | given ending. | taken ending.

3 — LIGHTS SHINING.

contrary to your expectations, you think the school has mostly adjusted to seeing you with jungwon more, including your friends. you figure it was the amount of denying rumors and clearing up misunderstandings you had to do in order to get everyone off your back. it actually wasn’t your intention to walk along side him in the halls, but when you made eye contact with him and you couldn’t help but waving, jungwon made his way over. 

“hey, pres.” he shoots you a nearly offended look and you can’t hide your smile. 

“pres? since when did you call me that?

you nudge his side as you continue walking, “since never. would you rather me call you won again?” 

“because i’m still your number one? he chokes out before muttering a “sorry,” and you burst out laughing. jungwon was still jungwon, and that fact alone comforted you more than words could convey. 

peering at him, for one selfish moment, and taking all he’s accomplished, worked hard for to achieve, you can say with ease that you’re so proud. you’re so proud of the jungwon today, in the past, and certainly in the future. 

perhaps that’s why walking and talking alongside him felt natural now, just like the old times. like those years apart had no more affect on you. but they were still there, and they still happened. 

when you finally stop laughing, you say, “don’t you have class coming up?”

jungwon nods, but he scratches the back of his head suddenly, “yeah, but i had something to ask you…”

you notice immediately, tilting your head as you study this different version of jungwon. “i thought you were the confident and mighty jungwon in front of me, what happened?”

he coughs into his arm before looking at you sheepishly. “what is it?” 

“that was just because you made me so nervous, so i kinda maybe sorta panicked and put on an act?” 

“oh.”

you want to question why exactly he felt that way, but it never comes out your mouth. he takes a deep breath before looking at you, “anyways y/n, i was-“

and then his eyes fall on something behind you, so you turn before pausing in the middle of the hall. the sight of niki caught you off guard. the way his eyes flicker in recognition seeing you and jungwon together makes you feel almost… guilty. 

his gaze lands on you two for a split second before he looks straight ahead, continuing to walk without stopping. you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

looking at jungwon, you watch him follow niki’s figure down the hall, fists clenched. 

he doesn’t look exactly pleased, but not displeased either. jungwon breaks out of it, almost glowering. 

“i don’t understand why you’re talking to him,” he mutters and you feel the tiniest amount of anger bloom in your stomach. 

“and? i bet he could say the exact same thing about you,” you snap before relaxing slightly, your next words sounding more confused, hurt even. “what happened between you guys? why won’t you tell me anything?”

you already know niki has never talked about the situation or even acknowledged  jungwon’s presence, but jungwon was different. 

“what happened that made you two like this? where you act like strangers- refuse to even look at each other?” you plead but jungwon shakes his head. 

a hand reaches out to land on his shoulder. “jungwon, please. i know you’re better than that,” you soften.  

you saw when people brought up niki in front of jungwon during that time everyone thought you were cheating on him with niki (the thought is still so ridiculous you have to laugh) and he would tense before shrugging it off and quickly moving onto the next topic. 

you could tell how hard he was trying to seem unaffected. you could see through it all. 

he takes your hand off his shoulder and you ignore the twinge of hurt you feel. “sorry, i gotta go, y/n. see you later.” his voice is uncharacteristically quiet.  

you stand in the hallway, unmoving. 

“riki!” you call out, waving to him with jungwon by your side. he seems shocked at the sight of you guys. 

“what are you doing here?” 

niki notes the closeness between you and jungwon as you stand there and wave towards him, but he doesn’t say anything. jungwon grins, “we had an idea to go visit you since it’s been so long since you came to school.”

you nod in agreement, “we missed you, riki! now, won is the one who steals all my food.”

you give him a playful glare and jungwon simple shrugs, although the smile is still present on his face. riki laughs, but it feels a bit forced and you look at him in concern, “you good?”

he easily plays it off while looking at ground, “the dancing academy is really strict sometimes…”

you shake your head with a displeased look.  

“don’t worry. we’ll come over and sneak you your favorite snacks whenever you want, alright?”

riki stops, looking up at you.

“oh, and don’t forget to get lots of sleep and drink lots of water. don’t overwork yourself!” 

jungwon nods in agreement as riki looks away bashfully under your concerned gaze.

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

after that day, the urge to confront niki grew immensely but you had a feeling it would go worse than how it did with jungwon. 

because soon after, niki stole your earbuds one day and wouldn’t give them back, no matter how hard you tried. you follow him out of the classroom, groaning. it’s unfair how much he grew in the shortest amount of time, and probably still is growing. 

“please, niki. i need them for my next class!” 

niki snorts before giving you a smug grin. he offers the earbuds, dangling from his raised arm. 

“sure, if you can reach it.” 

“then i give up,” you cross your arms, practically pouting and niki lets out a genuine laugh at the sight of you. at that moment, it hits you- seeing him laugh so brightly, the joking glint in his eyes. 

that’s the true nishimura riki. 

you can only watch niki in half-awe and half-amusement before his smile fades, looking at you with confusion. before you can say anything, a strong grip wraps around your wrist. taken aback, you splutter as jungwon intervenes and basically drags you toward him and further away from niki. 

he all but glares at niki, and you stare with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “sorry, but i need to talk to y/n. alone.” 

the guy doesn’t even sound close to sorry. a hint of surprise shows on niki’s face before it fades and he spares you one last look before storming off. 

you ignore the shocked passerbys, choosing to glare at jungwon instead. 

“what are you doing? i know you have beef with niki but there was no need-“

he cuts you off by leading you to a more secluded area. the anger is evident in his actions- you’re pretty sure if you were in a cartoon, steam would have been pouring out of his ears by now.

“that favor. i never got to ask you for it,” his voice is blunt and straight to the point. 

“okay?” you raise an eyebrow, “what is it?”

he claps his hands together, suddenly looking nervous. “i want you to attend my end of the year speech- the one next week.” 

huh? 

your nose crinkles and the corner of his mouth twitches at the sight. “but everyone in the school has to, so i’m gonna be there anyways-”

he shakes his head firmly, “i know, but i want you to sit in the front row.”

you open your mouth to protest but he cuts you off, “please. i need you there. please do it for me- the favor.” 

your heart begins to thump unconsciously when he looks at you.

“okay, fine.”  

you shush riki again, the two of you waiting in anticipation. the lights are off and you try your best to stay as still as possible. 

“if you stay quiet then our plan won’t be ruined.” 

riki sticks his tongue out at you and you roll your eyes at his childishness before a small smile appears on your face. as the air fills with silence, you glance at him. 

“are you doing okay? it’s not been too hard for you at the academy, right?” 

riki shakes his head, shy. “no. it’s been pretty fun. but not as fun with you and jungwon,” he quips and you stifle a laugh in order to stay quiet. 

“and here i thought you were getting tired of us-“ 

riki hears a sound from outside and suddenly puts a hand over your mouth as your eyes widen.

“shh. i think he’s coming.” 

realizing the compromised position you were currently in, your body grows warm from embarrassment. it doesn’t help when riki gives you a playful smile, “do you think jungwon will be really surprised?”

you hum, while glancing down at the cake in your lap. “i hope so. he said he didn’t want anything for his birthday but we both know that’s a lie…” 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

the day planned for jungwon to give his end of the year speech as the executive president, you’re completely distracted. you spend the first half of the day in a daze, counting down the minutes until everyone is called down to the auditorium. a part of you desperately wants to know why jungwon asked for that particular favor.

even at lunch, you’re picking at your food and everyone knew lunch was your favorite period. it’s the only part of the day that you seemed truly happy. 

“are you okay?” yuna eyes you curiously. you nod while patting down your pockets. you were that distracted you had no clue where your phone was. 

“oh shoot, i think i left my phone in history.” 

the class is empty, obviously because you expected everyone to be at lunch. but pretty soon you realize that it’s not. 

a dark figure sleeping in one of the desks at the back. 

of course, you think while pinching your nose bridge, of course he chose this class to sleep in. 

you force yourself to find your phone and quietly leave, but curiosity gets the best of you and you silently approach niki. 

you can’t take your eyes off his features. it’s strange, how innocent and childlike he looks in his sleep. it’s still the same face, those same eyes that once gleamed while holding the entire galaxy in them. you can only hope there’s still the same niki inside. 

sometimes, you felt so disconnected from him because he was on such a different path from the rest of you guys. you were so proud of him and his talent- and you still are. without knowing it, you were rooting for him the entire time. 

you don’t know how he’s still able to attend his dance academy and train for hours on end and still show up at school. you especially admired his mentality- for continuing on when it must’ve been really hard and when others said the most random crap behind his back. 

you slip into the seat next to him, laying sideways on your arm to get comfortable and face him. if you thought you were tired as a high school student, you think he must be so exhausted from all his dancing and still he managed to get partially good grades at school. 

you’re jealous of his talent, his hard work, his determination. 

you’re not sure how long you watch him for, so you don’t realize when your eyes begin to flutter shut and you drift off. soon after, niki wakes up, having developed his own internal alarm to get up before the next period starts. 

he’s startled to see you next to him, sleeping with a bit of drool. he laughs silently to himself, taking off his black jacket and putting it over your sleeping body. 

niki wonders how you’ve been all this time, concerned at how dark your eye bags are.  

he’s always watched you in school through the years- at least, the days that he came. 

sitting at the back of the class had its perks. 

it was the perfect view over everyone in the classroom- and that meant he could watch over you without you knowing. 

niki gives himself one last glance at you before he leaves the class. 

unknowingly, you wake up a few minutes later, shifting when you realize you’re alone and there’s a strange fabric over you. 

who placed a black jacket on you?

you stiffen, could it be…? 

you don’t want to assume, but it smells too much like niki and his house for you to think otherwise. you neatly fold it up and get ready for your next class. 

when it’s time to go to the auditorium, you brace yourself and give your friends a lame excuse to leave for a front seat, albeit reluctantly. thankfully, they don’t question anything and let you go with a look that screams “you better explain later.” 

you don’t like drawing attention to yourself and yet here you are sitting in the front row, all because of your (formerly failing) english grade. 

the session precedes normally, and you clap when necessary- although the applause surrounding you is a little louder when the principal introduces the president himself, yang jungwon. 

he walks up, and for the first time, you think he seems a little nervous in front of the whole school. his introduction goes smoothly and you try your hardest to ignore the swooning girls in the seats around and behind you. 

suddenly you feel self-conscious, sitting in the front where most girls just wanted an “up close and personal” look at jungwon.  

his eyes wander around the room and you wonder if he’s looking for- for you.

“i know this year has been a long one for all of us,” he pauses before his gaze lands on you for the first time and his eyes widen the tiniest amount. he looks away while continuing, replaced by a confident gaze as he speaks. 

yet you still feel his eyes return to you every once in a while. 

the crowd goes wild (as wild as a school meeting could get) when jungwon finishes, and you clap warily. 

everyone moves slowly back to class, and you follow the crowd, somewhat disappointed in a way. 

yeah, sure, jungwon’s speech was great (as you expected) but that was it? he used his favor for that? and he wasn’t even going to talk to you after?

well, you were wrong about the last bit. walking down the empty hallway to return to english class, you feel a hand on your shoulder, and turn around to see an embarrassed? looking jungwon. 

“i didn’t expect you to actually sit in the front…”

you nod meekly, “yeah well, you asked.”

“uh, how was- i mean- was my speech alright?” 

you almost laugh out loud. “what happened to the ever so popular jungwon?” you ask for the second time, smirking. 

he seems almost flustered, kicking the floor with one foot, “i told you before that was a bluff…”

you laugh before nodding, “it was good. but,” jungwon glances at you, taking a step closer and you pause at the motion. 

you hate your brain for thinking it but, if he took literally one more step… your face would collide into his body. 

you try to collect yourself before jungwon‘s face hardens. puzzled, you turn around to see niki. 

and he looked pissed. 

you don’t get a single word as he grabs your arm and pulls you away from jungwon harshly. shocked, jungwon watches with a clenched jaw as you protest helplessly, actions futile as niki is stronger and drags you away before jungwon can do anything else. 

when he takes you into an empty classroom, plenty far away from jungwon, you rip your hand away and stare at him- equally upset. 

“what is wrong with you? the both of you guys? do you not have any sort of common courtesy, even for each other?”

he’s breathing heavily, eyes glaring as you stare, equally as ferocious, back at him. “so now you’re not going to answer? what gives you the right to be angry? why are you even ang-“

you freeze when you feel a quick yet rough (and not to mention warm) sensation press against your lips.  

your body is frozen. did niki just- 

did niki just kiss you? 

a second, then two, then three pass as the only sound in the room is both of your heavy breaths mixing in the air. then niki abruptly stalks pass you, opening and then slamming the classroom door shut behind him. you’re left very stunned and unable to comprehend anything. 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

you ignore all texts and calls, especially the ones from jungwon. he must be upset and confused as to why you left without a single word but you didn’t know what to say, what to do. 

you don’t know why that night, you stay up replaying that one moment in your head- why you can’t focus at all in school the next day. 

why did niki kiss you? why did he look so upset at you and jungwon? 

what happened?

niki is nowhere to be found that morning, and you feel grateful for at least that because you wouldn’t know what to do if he was. 

ryujin and wonyoung try their best to cheer you up but they had no clue what was going on, and you had no intention on telling them.  

it’s obvious to even jungwon when he notices you ignore his wave in the hallway, looking like a zombie. 

“what’s wrong y/n?” he sounds too concerned, and your head snaps up to him. 

“huh? sorry, what did you say?” jungwon puts his two hands on your shoulders and you still can’t find it in you to react as you probably would’ve on a normal day. 

“i said,” he stares with those dark orbs of his, “what’s going on? you’re obviously not okay.”

you shake your head and he sighs. “was it because of what i asked you to do yesterday? or those girls that kept bothering you?” 

you’re quick to say no, but jungwon seems so invested that you give up. he shakes his head, tapping his foot on the ground, “i told rina that i rejected her three times already, i don’t get why she’s still bothering you.”

that causes a small smile to appear on your face, and jungwon brightens up at that. “three times,” you snort and he laughs, happy to see you looking a little better.  

you know what he’s doing, what he constantly did to make you cheer up. he always knew and you always appreciated it. “thanks, won. i needed that.” 

jungwon really was the breath of fresh air you needed some days and you hope he knows it. he looks around before leaning in to whisper in your ear, and you shiver at the sensation, “don’t tell anyone this but maeumi fell in the toilet yesterday.” 

a loud cackle escapes you and jungwon looks a little too proud at the reaction he caused. you think you’re legit about to cry of laughter but it quickly fades when you spot a certain person enter through the front doors of the school building. 

and jungwon catches it too. 

he sees how fast your pretty smile leaves your face and he follows your line of sight to exactly who he secretly suspected. he frowns, unable to just stay there as you fall silent again. 

jungwon starts off, and you watch, puzzled as he walks in the same very direction you were avoiding. 

niki also stiffens the moment he saw you with jungwon, and he can only stand there as said person approaches him. 

“what did you do to y/n?” there’s an hidden emotion in jungwon’s voice, his body. 

niki scoffs, “why do you care? are you two dating?”

“why does it matter to you?” jungwon shoots back. “you’re obviously making them uncomfortable.” 

niki can’t stand it anymore, so he turns away but jungwon won’t let him. he grabs niki’s shoulder to stop him and finally niki shoves him away.

you have no clue who was on who after that but- 

after years of friendship, turned to fighting and yelling, to shooting the other hateful glares in the hall, to pretending the other didn’t even exist- 

you’re utterly frozen when you see niki punch jungwon, a mess of limbs entangling as they wrestle on the ground. a grunt of pain that escapes from one of the boys in the midst of chaos knocks some sense into you. 

you rush over, grabbing onto any kind of fabric you can manage and eventually help jungwon off niki, pushing him away. 

you finally break.

“are you crazy?!” this is the most furious you’ve ever been at niki, at either of them.   

“are you trying to get expelled? from a school you barely even attend?” the fire in your eyes leaves both guys speechless. 

“and you!” you whip to jungwon, “is this what a president would do to a fellow student? seriously, staring a fight? this isn’t something you do jungwon,” your voice cracks, echoing through the hallway. 

“not you either, niki,” your eyes turn glassy as you look away, “i know this isn’t you two. i... i can’t do it anymore,”

and you take your leave, wiping a stray tear just as the rest of the students come upon the commotion. 

you proudly display the three candy necklaces you made in class, while riki complains off to the side.

“it’s your fault you ate all your candy,” you state sternly and jungwon snickers. still, you put one around your neck while offering one out to jungwon and the other to riki.

“here,” you smile at both of them. you’re too distracted fiddling with your own necklace to see the matching shy expression on both their faces. 

you look at them expectantly. “how is it?” 

jungwon is the first to react, humbly thanking you. then riki asks, “but why’d you make one for all of us?”

both boys look at you inquisitively, riki somehow already sucking on your gifted necklace. you smile, “because we’re friends. aren’t we?”

they pause before nodding at the same time.

“of course. we’ll always be friends.”

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

your phone blows up that night, most messages from your friends in your group chat. you contemplate keeping everything a secret, like you have been keeping a lot of secrets for a while. for years, having to move on and pretending that’s everything okay.

but you’re sick of it.

besides, you know your friends would at least hear you out, no matter how long or crazy it sounded. you take a deep breath, ready to let it spill. 

riki and jungwon were your best friends. 

yeah, they were- past tense. they had been since the day you met riki in kindergarten and easily grew close to him. riki already knew jungwon even though he was a year older, and by extension you became friends with him too. 

it was always you three, inseparable. 

at least until junior high when riki got accepted into a dance academy. he always had that gifted talent, and you and jungwon were happy for him- his number one cheerleaders. but eventually riki’s training started taking up a good portion of his time, and he began missing more and more school for it. 

you and jungwon both understood, but his absence was greatly felt. and it wasn’t okay until it was, because you still had jungwon to keep you company. or at least, you thought.  

at some point, you noticed riki started acting strange around you and jungwon. 

you figured it was because he was tired from his training, but you soon realized it was more than that. 

even worse, jungwon then started drifting from you too. to the point that one day, it was evident something had happened between them. 

both boys still sat with you at lunch, but refused to look at each other and talk to each other. you were so confused and upset when they didn’t answer your questions.  

why were they pushing each other away- pushing you away? 

only later that day did you hear the gossip. 

riki and jungwon fought over some dumb rumors from the week earlier. you barely batted an eye at those because you already knew it was dumb, made up lies. 

one rumor was that jungwon had a crush on someone. the other was even more shocking- that you were upset over jungwon having a crush on someone else. 

no way they got in a fight over a silly thing like that? 

but the fact that jungwon wouldn’t even talk to you and riki just yelled at you to go away made you feel helpless. no one was telling you anything and you felt stuck in the middle. you couldn’t go to one of them without the other misunderstanding. 

over the next couple of weeks, jungwon would only look you in the eye for a second before looking away and riki didn’t even show up. 

maybe they were expecting you to drift to one of them, taking their side against the other. 

but you would never do that. 

and so you felt your friendship crumbling in pieces as no one made any effort to do anything. you just ended up drifting apart without any answers on your behalf.

you hate how stubborn the three of you were (and still are). how riki refused to reach out to you and avoided any confrontation. how jungwon wouldn’t give you any answers, acting even more immature than riki at times. 

how you thought things would fix themselves and everything would be okay again when it wasn’t, and it wouldn’t be for a long while. 

soon enough jungwon went to high school, effectively sealing the distance between you two since you couldn’t see him everyday at school anymore. riki disappeared more each and every day, probably using his dance academy as a place of escape. 

you were alone at school, forced to make new friends when you just wanted your riki and jungwon back. the fall out soon blew over and people moved on, forgetting the once trio of you, jungwon, and riki. 

soon enough, you were all strangers to each other. 

you learned riki became niki and started wearing all black clothes without a single smile on his face, when he used to be the brightest part of your day. add onto that everyone suddenly calling him a drug dealer for looking like that and skipping so much school when you knew he was just a boy chasing his dreams. all while jungwon was thriving with his new popularity and new friends while looking happier than ever, seemingly completely fine without you and never giving you or riki a single glance back. 

and finally there was you, holding on and trying your best everyday. 

you kept those haunted memories locked up in your past, accepting it as just things that happen in life. in other words, it became easier to pretend.  

you accepted it was just life happening to you. you accepted it and moved on, until it all came crashing back. 

and man did it hurt. 

a/n ▸ i hope i dont break hearts eidjekjej but the ending is very soon and im v curious of who ppl think/want the reader to end up with ;)

TAGLIST ▸ @hiqhkey @axartia @precioussoulofmine @myspasedu @ethereallov3 @love-4-keum

send an ask/dm to be added to the taglist!

[bananami]

flirting with the clone troopers

I got bored and wrote a thing. Please enjoy my short little drabble on what flirting with the clone troopers would be like. It’s trash but it’s my trash <3

masterlist

tagged: @morganas-pendragons​​, @daylightanakin​

Obi-Wan had playfully labeled you a menace to the GAR. You didn’t blame him, but you wanted to throw it back in his face that he was just as bad as you were. The only difference was that you seemed unable to differentiate when it was entirely appropriate to be the outright flirt that you were.

In front of the other Generals in the middle of a briefing? Perfect time to tell Commander Neyo how great his thighs looked in that kama.

On the field in the heat of battle watching troopers toss spears literally through people? “Well now Captain Rex, what mighty strong arms you have.” *wink wink nudge nudge*

One time you and Commander Fox had been force thrown across a room only for you to land on top of him and it just slipped out naturally: “you know, all the times I’ve thought about being in this exact position with you, I never imagined it starting out like this.” He plays off the choking sound he makes as being injured from the hit you two just took.

Domino Squad are by far the most fun to flirt with because they don’t hesitate in the slightest to flirt right back.

Fives has got to be the worst of them all.

Seriously he has zero game but all the confidence of a man who does.

You absolutely love it.

Even when you’re injured and Kix is trying to stitch you up you can’t seem to hold yourself back.

“Alright General, lay down and let me work my magic-” “Kix, how unprofessional of you! And right here, in front of the others?” Anakin has never facepalmed so hard in his life. Kix’s face has never looked so red. You’ve never laughed so hard. It gets worse.

“I- ugh- you’re gonna need to- I need-” “Use your words Kix, c’mon man I’m bleeding out here.” That was a lie, but the gash on the inside of your thigh was pretty gross looking. “I need to be in between your legs.” You comply with ease and put on a shit-eating grin. “I hope you know I’ve dreamt about you saying those exact words- OW, Kix be gentle!”

The responses you get from the clones vary. Some of them openly flirt back, others get extremely flustered which is sweet to watch.

One time you were at 79’s hanging out with the 212th when some of the newer troopers walked in with the 501st and you couldn’t restrain yourself from sauntering on over. “How’s your night going boys, why don’t you introduce me to the shinies?”

Fives smirks and throws Tup into the deep end on this one. You reach up and tug at the troopers long hair just slightly, which makes him blush hardcore. “Go easy on him, love, you’re gonna give the poor guy a heart attack.” “I promise I’ll be gentle. Unless of course you ask me not to be.” Fives rolls his eyes and tells Tup not to take you too seriously and that you’re like this with all the troopers.

He was right, of course.

Some of them genuinely make your heart melt though.

For instance, Echo is a sweetheart. It doesn’t matter what you throw at him.

“Well now, don’t you look handsome in your new arc trooper armor.” “Nothing compared to how gorgeous you look every day, darling.”

“Keep saying things like that and you’re gonna make me fall in love, Echo.” “I could never be worthy of you, beautiful.”

And some, like Jesse, are just too smooth. It's genuinely impressive.

“What’s cooking good looking?” “Me for you tonight, what do you say doll?” “Please, you couldn’t handle me.” “Babe, I don’t think anyone could, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to try.” You nearly blushed at that one.

One time you fell over and he caught you before you could hit the ground and both you minds went to the same place. “Falling for me, cyare?” “What can I say, you’ve got me all tripped up.”

Some of them even surprised you.

Like Crosshair, from the self proclaimed bad batch. Who during a mission actually gave you a run for your credits.

“How am I looking from up there, Cross?” “Oh, just stunning, love.” “Even all sweaty and gross from fighting all these clankers?” “You kidding? I think you look better than ever like this.” “Well aren’t you just such a flirt.” A shot rings next to your ear, the droid behind you falling to the ground before it could get to you. “Pot. Kettle.”

Master Windu never failed to remind you of how inappropriate it was for you to say such things in public. Master Yoda and Plo just laughed.

Secretly Master Plo was hoping one day Wolffe would work up the nerve to do anything but stutter an incomprehensible response but the clone commander was a wreck the second you open your mouth.

Seriously Wolffe cannot flirt, he has no idea what to do or say back.  It’s adorable.

Like the time you asked him “is this seat taken?” and pointed at his lap with a sly smirk on your face. He wanted to make a witty comment back but all that came out was “wha-huh-uhm-” and you just chuckled, telling him you were just joking before sitting down next to him.

Master Plo had to step out of the room to laugh for a minute.

Sometimes you were stationed to protect the Chancellor which meant spending a lot of time with the Coruscant Guard. They were relentless in their flirtations, by far the most charming clones you’d ever met. Even Commander Fox had his moments, when he wasn’t being so serious.

Hound was probably the worst of the worst. He had you laughing so hard you at times that it physically hurt.

At one point you’d been reamed out by the Chancellor and retreated into your head. Hound noticed, and with the most serious expression, took your face in between his hands and in the most serious voice he could muster said: “I will kill him for you my sweet angel, just give me the word.”

Fox’s eyes widen and he’s got a playful glare on his face, not as upset at that statement as you thought he’d be, “Hound, you can’t -”

Hound’s eyes don’t leave yours, “I’ll kill him too.”

“hOUND”

And lets not get started on when you and Obi-Wan were sent on missions together.

“Cody, darling, you wouldn’t happen to have the time would you?”

“Cody, sweetheart, you’re doing such a wonderful job at killing those clankers!”

“Cody, love, your butt looks fantastic in that armor-”

“You can’t just say that over public comms!”

“You were thinking it, I was just saying it out loud, Obi-Wan!”

And you’re all time favorite: “Cody, that armor looks great on you, you know where it would look better? On the floor of Obi-Wan’s room.” “Are you hitting on Cody for me?”

Some of the clones had even placed bets and wagers on who could get you to slip up and become flustered.

You definitely appreciated the attempts.

Some of them had definitely come close though.

Like Commander Doom, who you danced with at 79s one night and had to run into the bathroom to splash some water on your face because holy kriff where did that man learn that kind of language. It was actually kind of impressive. And no you would absolutely not be repeating it to anyone except maybe to Obi-Wan over tea the next day in the confines of his room where no one else could hear either of you gossiping.

Or Sergeant Hunter of the 99th, who met your quips line for line. You didn’t know how but you were pretty sure he knew exactly what to say to make you almost blush.

“You can’t just take out an entire battalion of clankers on your own and not expect me to fall in love with you.” “That’s the goal, Sarge. How’d you know I was just trying to impress you?” “Call it a sixth sense.” “You think the force is trying to tell us something?” “I don’t need to force to tell me how irresistible you are.” “Be still my beating heart.”

And as much as it irritated the other General’s of the GAR, the clones genuinely appreciated the sense of normalcy it gave them. Sure it was all jokes but most spent so much time fighting that the brief moments of flirtation were a distraction from the shit show going on around them.

And besides, it wasn’t your fault they were so damn good looking.

[mooneloquence]

"you are the peace i crave in this chaotic world." or/and ❛ the most beautiful part is, i wasn’t even looking when i found you. ❜ for shadowgast? 👀

Hooooly fjuck, this got extremely out of hand. These prompts were so lovely, I couldn't help but want to use them both for this. After making myself (and apparently other people) cry with this, I needed a little bit of crack treated seriously and (quite a bit of) fluff, and these phrases had HUGE wedding vows vibes👀

Sorry this took so long, I've been studying for my finals and life has been busy. Thank you for the prompt! (Also, I need to say that I adore your art! Your textures are amazing, and looking at your pieces makes me so happy) Hope you enjoy 💜I'm still taking prompts from here, send me an ask! (I intend to go through all of them, though they may take me a while to fill)

You are the peace I crave in this chaotic world. // The most beautiful part is, I wasn't even looking when I found you. (2.2k words, G)

In retrospect, it was easy to see why holding their wedding aboard the Nein Heroez was not the greatest idea, but Essek believed it was worth it just to experience the full chaos and unpredictability characteristic of the Mighty Nein. He knew he should have probably been worried to even think that way—he'd spent almost all his life in relative comfort and peace—but perhaps the Nein had more of an effect on him than he knew.

Only a day ago, Caleb and him had attempted to announce their engagement to the rowdy bunch in the quietest way possible: after dinner, Essek had approached Caduceus and murmured something to him that had made the firbolg smile in that placid way of his. It did not take long for Beauregard—whose ability to read lips he had not accounted for, and who was very, very drunk—to gasp loudly enough to catch the attention of the rest of the group before shouting, "MOTHERFUCKER." She shot a look of betrayal at the other human, who almost choked on his beer, startled. "You're getting married and you didn't tell me?"

At the word 'married,' Jester perked up, her eyes wide and full of stars, and several things happened at the same time. There was a screech that could come from no other than Veth, Fjord looked around the room in an attempt to understand what was happening, Kingsley's eyes widened before he smirked, and Yasha’s eyes went to Essek as her face formed into a soft smile.

Ah, there went their plan to tell them separately or in small groups.

And then, Caduceus, with not even a glint of malice in his eye, decided to add a little more chaos into the mix.

"I will gladly officiate the ceremony."

Everything that ensued after that was a bit of a whirlwind in his mind, but thankfully things had calmed down significantly by the time Jester approached to give him a hug. It definitely seemed like more than five years since she had done that for the first time, and by now Essek could return the gesture with a genuine, if small, smile without even flinching.

"Congrats, you guys. I'm so excited for you! Are you happy?"

"Yes, Jester, I am very happy. And thank you." Still, there was something in her expression that caught his eye when they pulled apart. It was strange, to be able to see the way others masked their emotions behind something else. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, careful to turn away from where Beau was standing with her arm around Caleb’s shoulder.

Her smile faltered for only a millisecond. "Oh, it's nothing." At his raised brow, she let her face grow more serious and looked down, becoming thoughtful for a moment. "I am a cleric, too, you know?"

Essek's eyes widened with understanding. Caleb and him had hoped to keep this ceremony a secret, just something quiet for them before Essek needed to go away again after their reunion, but had talked about a 'proper' wedding later on, something with all their friends there—perhaps even Verin. But now that the secret was out, there was no harm in asking Jester what he would have in the future.

"I know. But if you perform the ceremony, who is going to stand by my side?"

Her eyes lit up again, the smile that bloomed on her face making her blue freckles dance on her cheeks. This time, her hug squeezed the air right out of him with an undignified oof—even after years, he was still caught off-guard by her strength.

"Ohmygosh, Essek! Of course I will be by your side!"

It was Fjord who piped up next and asked, "So when is the wedding?"

A look was exchanged between the two wizards.

"Ah, we were originally thinking tonight, but... maybe tomorrow?" said Caleb.

"What?"

"Tomorrow?!"

"You guys, we don't even have fancy outfits for the occasion!"

Thinking back on it, the commotion that answer had caused paled in comparison to what transpired about fifty minutes into the Ceremony.

They were on the deck of the Nein Heroez, Caduceus standing near the bow of the ship, one hand covering Essek and Caleb’s joint hands. To Essek's right was Jester, who had somehow managed to get them all the fanciest outfits she could with such short notice. (Teleport was an incredibly useful spell.) Her proud smile and mildly watery eyes hadn't faltered since the start of the hour-long spell. To Caleb’s left stood Beauregard, whose electric blue eyes were not misty at all. The hour needed to cast Ceremony was almost over when Kingsley's voice came from the crow's nest,

"Captain, we have a small island coming towards us!"

Essek, who had only heard the story of the time when the Nein had been chased by a dragon turtle, frowned at the strange phrasing, but the realization hit him as he looked around to see that, effectively, there was something that resembled an island approaching the ship, still far away, but steadily becoming larger in the distance.

Caduceus tightened his hold on them, but otherwise kept steadily murmuring the prayer to the Wildmother that was nearing its end.

In less than twenty seconds, everyone except the three of them necessary for the completion of the spell had taken their respective places, the calm mood switching almost immediately to the tense bustle of action. Jester and Orly stood mostly where they were, ready to cast or help as needed, Veth and Yasha ran below deck to ready the cannons, Beauregard remaining on the stairs between the two decks to relay Fjord's orders. The half orc in question had taken his place at the helm of the ship, both captain and first mate shouting instructions to the rest of the crew as the sails were unfurled so the Nein Heroez could start moving again.

Even having traveled with them already, the drow could not help but be impressed by the swift efficiency the Mighty Nein displayed in dire situations. When he turned his gaze back to Caleb, he found him looking at him with a faintly apologetic smile; Essek smiled as well. There was a small velvet pouch clutched in Caduceus' other hand, his staff useless to him if he intended to complete the Ceremony. Caleb's left hand—not his casting hand, but it would have to do until the end of the spell—and Essek's right were poised at the ready by their sides.

The next few minutes were tense as the ship slowly kicked into motion, the fairly steady wind working in their favor, but not nearly enough to outpace the powerful swimming of a vengeful dragon turtle whose figure continued to grow bigger and bigger. With a muttered curse, Beauregard ran back onto the deck and opened her fan with a whip of her wrist before bringing it down in the direction of the sails. The Gust of Wind gave them an intense boost, and Essek's hand shot out to steady the cushion upon which two rings and two earrings were placed before anything could roll away and get lost in the depths of the Lucidian Ocean. At some point, Jester ran towards the stern of the ship, and some of her words drifted towards them,

"Hey... having a wedding here... this for... -ther day? Unless... you wanna... with us? Doo doo..." A few seconds passed before she relayed to them, "I don't think he's stopping, not even for the wedding. He's kind of a dick."

By then, Caduceus' prayer was nearing its end, and even with the speed they were moving at, their pursuer came close enough for the stern chasers to fire. The loud explosion rang in Essek's ears for a moment, muffling what the firbolg had just asked them. His lack of an answer seemed to be enough for him to repeat it, "Is there something you would like to say or to promise each other as part of the ritual?"

They looked at each other. The night of their engagement a couple of months prior, they had already talked in private and told each other exactly how they felt. Many promises had been made and kept since a night long ago on a different ship—one that had fallen to the very same creature chasing them—but, even in the face of imminent danger, to not say anything still felt lackluster.

With a shaky intake of breath, Caleb’s hand tightened its hold on his under the protective cover of Caduceus' large, warm palm. The cannons fired another round. "Essek," the human started, "I will try to make this brief, but I wanted to say something. You are my friend and my colleague, my mirror in so many ways, and yet so different in so many others. I am so proud of you." Something pink flashed in the distance, but they kept their eyes locked onto each other. "You never cease to amaze me; your mind and your heart are precious, and I am equally baffled and honored to know that you want to share them with me." His brow was furrowed in that particular way that indicated he was speaking from his heart. "Mein schatz, mein Mondlicht. Meine Freude. It would make me the luckiest man alive to love you for as long as my heart beats, and more."

Essek's free hand darted up to wipe a tear that threatened to roll down his cheek, his mouth upturned in a soft smile. He breathed in as well, nodding. "Caleb." The three of them stumbled as the ship rocked violently under the assault of the gargantuan turtle, and Essek interrupted what he was saying to thrust his hand out in a frantic rendition of the somatic component for Magic Missile—many of his more powerful spells required the use of both hands, and he couldn't let go of his lover's hand. The small beams of force collided against their foe's shell, chipping and cracking it in places.

Caduceus, who had tilted the contents of the tiny pouch to let the powdered silver cover the earrings and rings, let go of their hands and lifted the small cushion. Releasing each other they took the earrings first; one golden and the other one silver, both with a single amber teardrop dangling from the hook portion. With no time to delay in contemplation, they exchanged the earrings and slipped them into the right earlobes. The rings were next. Taking the drow's left hand and the band with a black pearl framed by two silver ends that curled around it one from the top and one from the bottom, Caleb slipped it onto his ring finger. Essek took the other ring, matching in design except for the gold that comprised the band and the white pearl that replaced the black one.

"Caleb," he repeated, "You already know what you are to me. I was a lost man before you came into my life, and definitely changed it for the better. Even if I considered myself a visionary, I was still blind to so much, and I am eternally grateful to you and the Mighty Nein for showing me that. I think... I think the most beautiful part is, I was not even looking when I found you."

Another cannon shot, and the Nein Heroez rocked again, not as harshly this time. Around them, the air was filled with different voices shouting orders, arcane phrases and divine incantations of different sorts. Swinging his left arm in a wide arc, Caleb's voice joined the cacophony before several rays of fire shot out from his fingers and impacted right on the creature's eye.

Smiling and wholly aware of the irony of the situation, he continued, "Against all odds, you are the peace I crave in this chaotic world, my home to come back to, the fire that thaws me when I think I'm growing too cold. The time I get to spend with you is a greater gift than I ever believed I deserved, and I will honor that for as long as I have memory." The next time the ship rocked, it was accompanied by the horrible sound of wood moaning and shattering under great stress. They both looked around. "I will tell you the rest when this is over," he promised, taking his husband-to-be's hand and slipping the ring onto his finger.

Even in the dire situation, Caduceus smiled. "This is nice. You are now wed under the protection of the Wildmother. You may kiss if you like, but we really need to get into the battle, things aren't looking very pretty."

Both wizards' expressions became sheepish. With one hand, Caleb took the back of Essek's neck and pressed his forehead to his, blue eyes boring into violet ones, and pressed a single peck onto his lips. "We can have the rest when this is over. We've got time, Mister Widogast."

"Indeed, Caleb Widogast. We've got time."

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Do You Trust Me?

Pairing: Arvin Russel x Reader

Summary: When Lenora finds out she’s pregnant and another girl turns up pregnant and murdered, Arvin and Y/N take matters into their own hands. 

Warnings: Violence, Murder, Sexual Assualt, Teen Pregnancy, Cursing, Mentions of Rape, Bullying, Dark Religious Themes, Talk of Abortion  DO NOT READ IF THESE BOTHER YOU (Very similar things to the movie)

Word Count: 7000

A/N: So Lenora doesn’t die in this but that part is instead replaced by the Reaster girl being found dead (I named her Jeanette... I didn’t remember if they gave her a first name)

A/N 2: I know I’m writing characters that exist already but like I feel like I’m going to Hell for writing this. Any other Christians feel that way about liking the movie?

___________________________________

Secrets were hard to keep in such a small town as Coal Creek. Everyone knew everyone and if one person saw something, the whole town knew about it by next morning. That’s why Lenora had kept her secrets with Reverend Teagarden from all except you. Other than Arvin, you were her only friend in the world. It felt nice to have another girl to talk to because as much as she loved her brother, it was nothing like having a sister. Though you weren’t related, just friends from school, it was the closest thing she had. 

The two of you had bonded over the harassment from boys at school. Unlike Lenora, you had no problem dishing back threats and abuse. You were more like Arvin in that sense, not always terrified that the Lord was going to smite you for defending yourself. You and Arvin were close too because of it. 

The day you two met, he’d gone to pick Lenora up from school one day to find the two of you cornered out back by Dinwoodie and his boys. They called Lenora ugly, as per their daily routine, and said they wouldn’t fuck her with a bag on a her head. Tommy Matheson had a paper bag held over her face, holding her down while she squirmed. 

“There ain’t nothing alive that would willingly let you touch them, Dinwoodie!” You spat while Orville Buckman held you back, his arms wrapped around your body, keeping your arms . pinned to your side, “You’re a vile thing. Hell, I’m sure a dead pig wouldn’t let you fuck it.” 

Dinwoodie spun around and blew a hard smack across your face, “Lenora here ain’t much different than that. But you on the other hand, I’d take you whether you wanted it or not. I like a girl with a dirty mouth. And lucky you, I won’t make you wear the bag.” 

He fisted your hair and pulled your face close to him, trying to force a kiss from you but spat in his face, a massive drip of saliva landing in his eyes and smaller particles spewed across his lips. “You nasty bi-” Gene Dinwoodie reared back, ready to hit you again when suddenly Arvin came out of nowhere, sending a solid blow straight into Gene’s face, sending him flying to the ground with a crack. 

Orville let you go to go after Arvin and Tommy did the same to Lenora. You ran over to her and pulled the bag from her head, seeing evidence of her silent tears all over her face. Once you saw she was okay though, you ran over to help Arvin, who had found himself dragged to the ground by the three boys. Lenora got up too, screaming for them to stop. 

“Stop!” You yelled, pulling at Gene’s arms to try and get him to stop kicking Arvin. He shoved you back harshly by the chest but you caught yourself, returning with a sharp blow to his face with your locked fist. 

The enraged boy smacked you even harder than before, sending your ass to the ground with thud that you knew would leave a bruise. Your hands and knees got skinned up as you skid slightly on the pavement. Lenora kept pulling on the boys too, begging them to stop but to no avail. 

“Ha, sister fucker!” The three of them called out to Arvin before leaving the three of you alone. 

“Are you okay?” You asked the boy that you hadn’t met before, who was curled up in a ball on the ground and holding his stomach. He groaned in response, trying to push himself up but requiring your assistance. “Thank you for what you did back there. I’m sorry this happened.” 

He stretched, flinching at the slight movement. He sent a small nod towards you but then turned towards Lenora, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, Lenora.” Words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt for allowing this to happen. 

“It-it’s okay, Arvin. It wasn’t that bad this time. Y/N here took the brunt of it, unfortunately.” Lenora turned to you, “‘M sorry about that, by the way. You didn’t need to step in for me.” 

You had stood up about the same time Arvin did, brushing as much of the dirt off your bleeding and scraped up knees as you could without flinching, “Those guys are ass holes, Lenora. I did need to.” 

Lenora piped up, “Oh, um, Y/N, this is my brother Arvin. Arvin, this is Y/N. She just moved here.” 

“It’s nice to meet ya.” You greeted the boy with a pained smile, your face hurting from the blows you’d just taken. 

Arvin nodded, “You too.” He paused for a moment, “Can I give you a ride home? I don’t need them boys catching up with you again on the ride home. Besides, your face is getting mighty red. I might have something back at my house to keep it from bruising up too bad.” 

You looked over at Lenora, sending her a questioning look, like asking if you could trust this boy who had just come to your rescue, which may have seemed like an odd inquiry to have since he just tried to take on the guys harassing you, but your encounters with boys in this town hadn’t gone all too well thus far. The girl looked unfazed though with almost a hint of excitement that you could possibly be going to her home. 

“Um, yeah, I’d like that. Thank you.” You tucked a messy strand of hair behind your ear before looking back up at Arvin to see that he was already staring at you. 

That was months ago. You’d gotten settled into Coal Creek by now and the abuse from Dinwoodie had stopped entirely after Arvin had gone full vigilante to beat the shit out of them all. Speaking of Arvin, the day he saved you and Lenora, he asked you on a date and the pair of you had been going steady ever since. If there was ever a couple to not be fucked with, the town had learned it was you two. 

This weekend, you’d gone over to the Russel’s home for supper at their Grandma’s invitation. It was delicious, as usual, as that woman had the God-given ability to produce miracles in that kitchen. As you all finished up, Uncle Earskell asked Arvin to help with something upstairs so he left without a second thought to help his kin. 

Lenora had been looking at you funny all night, as if trying to catch your eye. After helping Grandma (which she insisted you call her as well) clean up supper, Lenora pulled you off to the side, “Y/N, let’s go on a walk. I need to tell you something.” 

The weight in her eyes told you how serious this was so you just nodded, “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.” 

She grabbed a lantern on her way out the door and towards the barn. It was already dark, despite only being seven in the evening. Lenora led you out there and then closed the door before sitting on the hay. “So what is it?” You asked nervously. Normally, you would have made a joke but something told you that this wasn’t a joking matter. Anxiety buzzed all around her. 

“Y’know the new pastor? Preston Teagarden?” Lenora began, wringing her hands together and beginning to hide under her long red hair. 

You nodded, the question having an obvious answer as everyone, including your God fearing Mama and Aunt, went to church every Sunday. “What about ‘im?” 

“Well… um… y’see. We… we had sex.” She whispered the last word like it was the dirtiest thing she could fathom saying. 

Your eyes blew wide and your mouth dropped open, “You what?” You whispered back in shock. 

“Shh!” She held her finger up to her lips, “He said that to bear yourself as God made his first children was to truly turn yourself to Him.” 

You were having a difficult time processing this new information. Arvin and you had both agreed that there was something off about that new preacher since the first day you met him but you wouldn’t have guessed it was anything like this. “Lenora, that makes no sense. God sees everything. He’s already seen you in your birthday suit. He doesn’t need the preacher to see it too.” 

Part of you felt bad for the way you were reacting, especially when you saw the way your best friend shrunk back a little in embarrassment. Clearly, he’d manipulated her into getting what he wanted, using her faith as a weapon for her sexual exploitation, but of course she didn’t see it like that because his words were specifically tailored to get her to believe him. Now as you said these things, though, it was becoming clearer to Lenora that she had been manipulated. 

“That’s not all…” She continued. 

You held her arm gently, “What is it?” 

Her eyes got wide with fear, “You can’t tell anyone okay? You gotta promise.” Her hand covered yours, gripping tightly to ensure that you grasped the severity of the situation. 

You swallowed hard, honestly scared by her reactions to whatever was happening. This wasn’t like sweet, simple, calm Lenora. Nonetheless, you nodded, “I promise.” 

“I think I’m pregnant.” 

You actually choked, “What? Are you sure?” This was bad. This was so bad. 

Her eyes began to well up with guilty tears, “Yeah, I am. I was pretty sick a few weeks back. Couldn’t eat nothin’ cause I kept throwin’ up. And I haven’t had that time of the month in  two months.” 

“Two months, Lenora? Shit…” You whispered, leaning back against the hay. Even before moving to Coal Creek, you came from a small town in Pennsylvania where this had happened to a few girls. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon in that particular town. Your daddy had been a doctor before he died so you’d seen more than a few cases of teenage pregnancy. For Lenora, though, this was practically unheard of. Good Christian girls don’t have babies before marriage. “Did you tell ‘im?” 

Lenora’s breath shook, “Yeah ‘nd he said I was crazy and delusional. Just imaginin’ things. Said we never did nothin’ in the car. Then he said that I had to get rid of the baby or I’d be branded as the town whore with a bastard son. Even said it’d kill Grandma from the shame of it all if anyone found out.” 

“That is not true, Lenora. None of it. You’re not a whore and it would be best for everyone if that baby inside you was a bastard. That disgusting man isn’t fit to walk the Earth we live on, let alone be a father.” It felt like the blood was rushing through your veins with full force, internally panicking about the situation. This was a big deal and, unfortunately, you weren’t sure if Lenora was emotionally capable enough to handle it alone. She’d always been quiet and lonely and an easy target for cruel people. “Are you keepin’ it?” 

Her breathing shuddered as if she’d started crying, “I can’t kill the baby inside me and go on livin’ with that. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared,Y/N.” Lenora threw her arms around you and you held her as her body rattled against yours. 

“Shh, you got me, alright? Me and Arvin. And I’m sure Grandma wouldn’t be ashamed if she knew what Teagarden did to you.” You insisted but she shook her head. 

“You must think I’m stupid for believin’ that man.” She sat up wiping her eyes with her sleeve. 

“No! I do not think you’re stupid at all. That monster took advantage of you, told you things to make you believe that his dirty, lustful thoughts were vindicated by the Lord. And he’s going to fucking pay.” You were furious now as you began to stand up, unsure of exactly what you’d do but you knew you were gonna do it. 

Lenora grabbed your arm and pulled you back down, “No! Wait! Please-” 

“What’s going on here?” Arvin opened the door with a concerned face. 

Both you and Lenora jumped at his sudden intrusion but were even more nervous about what he’d heard. 

“How much did you hear?” Lenora asked her brother, rubbing her hands on her thighs. 

He walked in and slammed the door shut behind him, kneeling down in front of you and his sister, “That someone took advantage of you and Y/N was gonna make ‘im pay. Now what happened? What’s going on?” 

This was one of the things that you’d always loved about Arvin. He had this protective nature over what he loved, ready to do anything to keep his loved ones safe, whether that was his sister, his girlfriend, or his grandmother. His brown eyes held so much sincerity and understanding for his younger sister but also fear for what had been done to her. 

When she didn’t respond right away, Arvin looked over to you with questioning desperate eyes but you chewed your lip, knowing that it wasn’t your secret to tell. Instead, you looked back over to Lenora sadly and nudged her slightly. 

“C-can you say? Please? I don’t wanna say it again.” Lenora begged you quietly, avoiding eye contact with Arvin. Though you could never truly know she felt, you tried to understand all the emotions that must have been running through her. 

Arvin met your eyes, begging you to tell him what had happened. “She’s pregnant. It’s that Reverend Teagarden’s baby. Said that he told her that the only way to get close to God was to show him her in the form of Adam and Eve. But now he’s saying that she’s delusional and that it’s not his.” 

Arvin’s temper flamed inside his chest. That explained the Reverend’s intense sermon about delusion this last Sunday. Nobody did this to his sister and got away with it. “I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking ki-” 

“Arvin please-” Lenora tried to calm him but it was a weak attempt, still trying to stay quiet so Grandma wouldn’t notice.

“No, I’ll end his life for what he did to you.” 

You watched your boyfriend reel around, hands holding onto his hat. He was livid, understandably so. 

Lenora wasn’t quite sure why she wanted to protect Preston Teagarden after what he’d done to her but she thinks it’s that she was more concerned for her brother. Besides, no matter what Teagarden had done, did he really deserve to die for it? 

“We don’t have to hurt him,” You spoke to your boyfriend, “If she wants, she can just have the baby and we’ll help raise it.” 

“But he said it’s not his and that I’ll just be considered some no-good whore. He said it’ll kill Grandma. I don’t want to kill Grandma.” She was almost crying again at the thought of their grandmother ending up six feet under because of the shame of having her as a granddaughter. 

“He said that?!” Arvin nearly yelled. 

“But what if he’s right?” Lenora thought out loud, “I couldn’t live with myself if I got rid of the baby but I can’t risk killing Grandma. Maybe it would be better if I were dead-” 

“No!” You and Arvin both said firmly in unison. You held her hand tight and Arvin knelt down again. 

He swiped his thumb comfortingly across the back of her hands, “Don’t you ever say that. We have both already lost too damn much to lose each other too, ya hear me?” 

Lenora nodded, tears falling down her cheeks when she closed her eyes. 

“Why can’t we just ruin him? You can have the baby and let everyone know what he did. Everyone will know that he’s the father and it’ll destroy his life.” Arvin suggested, all of the miserable ways this could end for the man twisting his heart in sadistic pleasure. 

You shook your head though, “No, they won’t. It’s different for girls in small towns like this. Doesn’t matter what happened, you’re still the dirty no good whore, even if you were raped. The man is treated like a victim for even having the inkling of an accusation brought up.” After a few minutes, you suggested, “Why don’t we run off. We’ll all go to a new town, somewhere where nobody knows none of us. We’ll tell ‘em that your husband died in the war, leaving you with the baby. I’ll go with. I’ll help you raise it.” 

She shook her head, “But what about Grandma and Uncle Earskell?” She did have a point. They were both getting on in age and would need more help than they already did. 

You all sat in silence for a few moments, brainstorming ideas of what to do. Eventually, Arvin looked at his sister, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

The three of you went back to the house for the rest of the night, knowing that everyone would be getting suspicious if you were out any longer. 

The three of you kept the secret quiet, barely even speaking about it to each other. You’d been doing as much research on babies in the libraries at school, which earned you quite a few disapproving looks from people who assumed that you and Arvin were expecting. You were serious when you said that you had every intention of helping Lenora and so was Arvin. 

Weeks had gone by with relatively no news. Well, that’s what the town thought at least. After finding out about what the Reverend had done to Lenora, Arvin had told you about his plan to watch him. 

The pair of you had spent several afternoons staked out near the church, watching as he went to the place of worship and then left at night. But then you started noticing a frequent visitor. Jeanette Reaster. The pair would drive off to a little secluded field and, sure enough, Teagarden would have his way with her. Though you couldn’t hear what was said, it was clear that they’d been praying beforehand before she submitted to him fully. Now, you knew Jeanette Reaster and, much like Lenora, she was the last person you’d imagine having premarital sex for the fear of being struck down by God. Whatever this man had said to them must have been real convincing. 

“Piece of shit…” Arvin leaned forward against the steering wheel of his car while you sat beside him. You both watched on as the Reverend laid the girl down and began his assault of falsely “holy” acts. 

For respect of Jeanette, you both looked away during the actual act but when you saw her ride off, Teagarden got out of his car, a bunch of fabric in his hands and sniffed them as he watched her. “That fucking perv. How does nobody know about this?” You asked, disgusted. Reaster was a good girl. She didn’t deserve this abuse. 

“We know about it.” Arvin said, putting the car in reverse, “And that’s enough.” Less than a week later, word got out that Jeanette Reaster had run off. Grandma had told Arvin and Lenora that her mother had said to her privately that Jeanette left a note saying that she was pregnant but the father refused to believe that he was the father. To spare her family the shame, she ran away and begged them to just say that they had no idea what had happened to her. That’s what her parents intended to do for their daughter’s sake but had entrusted Grandma with the secret just so they had somebody to talk to about it.

The day after she disappeared, they found her body on the side of the road just a few towns over. Nobody had any idea of what had happened except for you and Arvin. Both of you were convinced that Teagarden had murdered her to keep his secret from getting out. 

The anger that was held between you and Arvin both was unparalleled. In part, you both felt partially responsible for her death. If only you’d said something, maybe you could have saved her. But neither of you even knew she was pregnant. That monster did to her exactly what he had probably planned to do to Lenora. 

“We have to set things right.” Arvin said, sitting in his car one night with you in the woods, “That girl is dead and I can’t help but feel like it’s on me.” His head hung sadly, the weight of another death weighing on his heart. 

You shifted sideways in the seat, your jeans rubbing against the vinyl car seats. You placed a hand gingerly on his cheek, “This is not your fault. This is the evil of a wicked man.” 

“A girl is dead, Y/N. He got her pregnant and murdered her. He got Lenora pregnant and tried to convince her she was crazy. He’s taking advantage of innocent girls out here and then tying up the loose ends.” Arvin sat there, so much hurt behind his brown eyes. Then an idea dawned on him, “Do you trust me?” 

The question took you off guard and it showed but you answered honestly, “Yes.” 

** 

Perhaps being quieter in church was for the best for this particular scenario. You’d never been as religious as the rest of your family or the rest of the town, for that matter. But this morning, you found yourself on your knees by your bedside. “Lord, please forgive the things that I am about to do. Please understand that I do this with the best intentions of protecting every other girl to cross paths with Preston Teagarden and to avenge the death of Jeanette Reaster. I pray that you please forgive Arvin as well as I know he is a man with nothing but good and love in his heart. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.” 

Almost on cue, your mom knocked on the door to see you on your knees, “Arvin is out front waiting for you.” She announced with a warm smile, noticing your outfit, “You look nice, sweetie! Since when do you clean up all cute for that boy?” She teased, a loving smile on her face as you smoothed out your yellow dress that hung just below your knees. The sleeves were tight and went about halfway down your biceps. It was far from revealing with a neckline that stopped just below your collarbones but it still was tight enough to accentuate the shape of your concealed breasts. A brown belt was tied around your waist, showing off your figure. 

“Yeah, well I figured that for once I might as well dress up and do something nice.” The lie slipped out smoothly despite the racing of your heart in your chest. 

She pulled you in for a hug, “Well you tell Arvin that I want you back by nine tonight! I’ll be going over to Mrs. Hadderson’s for quilting today, just so you know, in case I’m not home when you get back.” 

You picked up your bag and pulled her into a side hug, “Alright, Mama. Love you!” You hollered, running out the door. Arvin was dressed normally, just his blue jeans and t-shirt, but he still looked great as always. 

When you slid into the passenger seat of his car, he perked up and looked over at you, “Not used to seeing you like this on any day but Sunday.” He attempted to joke but found it difficult considering what the two of you were planning on doing. 

After driving a ways down the road, he asked, “Are you sure you want to be a part of this? Because I can drop you off with Lenora and I’ll take care of this myself.” 

Looking over at him to see his eyes scanning your face for signs of hesitation, you placed your hand on his leg, “I’m not letting you do this alone.” 

Not too deep down, Arvin felt terrible for allowing you to partake in this. Death had always seemed to follow him wherever he went; he didn’t want you to be stuck with the same curse. The two of you developed a plan but Arvin had created a backup just in case you decided you didn’t want to partake, not that he would blame you. He was terrified beyond belief himself but he’d decided that for the sake of every other girl in this town and any other one’s Teagarden had harmed in the past, he had to do this. 

The only thing making him feel remotely at peace with your involvement was the fact that you weren’t actually doing the killing. You were the diversion, he was the trigger man. Arvin sighed, relenting to the fact that you were in on this, “Did you bring the rope?” He asked, eyes flicking over to you and your bag between glances at the road that moved beneath the wheels of his car. 

You dug around in your little bag and pulled out a small length of rope, a weapon chosen for the lack of clean up. “Got it. You got the gun?” 

Arvin pulled his denim jacket back just enough to show the handle of the Luger that once belonged to his father. This weapon was chosen for its reliability. Once you guys started, you had to finish otherwise he’d tell everyone. 

Before you knew it, the tires were coming to a crunching halt on the rocky sideturn just around the corner from the church. A sudden wave of nausea came over you and you had to breathe deeply to settle it down. “You okay?” Arvin asked, reaching out for you. 

You swallowed hard, “Yeah.” Sweat began to bead up on your brow as a million different images of what could happen in the next few minutes ran through your head. 

Arvin watched as you zoned out on the dashboard and he knew exactly what was going on in your mind. It was the same inner conflict he’d had this morning before picking you up, when he first pocketed the gun.  “Whatever happens today, I need you to know that I love you Y/N.” 

You sucked a quick breath in. Neither of you had ever used the L-word before. Arvin was scared to because he’d lost so many people and the fewer people he loved, that fewer people he could lose. You had just never loved anyone romantically before and were too terrified that maybe you’d say it too early or think you felt it when you really didn’t. With Arvin, though, you knew it. “I love you too, Arvin.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the lips deeply, wanting nothing more than to stay against his skin for the rest of your lives. But, unfortunately, there was something you had to do first. 

“Remember, just get him to bring you to the field. I will be there waiting. I won’t let anything happen to you, you hear?” Your faces were close together, so close your foreheads almost touched, as he went over the plan one last time, trying to make sure that you knew that you were safe as long as he was around. 

“I know.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile, though it was far from a grin of actual happiness.

Arvin watched as you got out of the car, leaving the small bundle of rope behind, and walked down the dirt driveway to the church. You looked just like someone that pervert would fall head over heels for. There was an innocent sway to your hips and the way you held your bag close to your body screamed insecurity, but the kind of a young girl who doesn’t know how beautiful she is. The funny thing was that this wasn’t something totally out of character for you. Sure, you had a mouth and fist that could dish as much as it could take, and yeah, you and Arvin had been together for almost half a year, but there was still a youthful innocence to you. There was still a brightness in your eyes and a pep in your step, one that hadn’t been beat down by the tragedies of life yet. It was one of the things that Arvin found most attractive about you but it was also one of the things that Preston Teagard would as well. 

The doors of the church were cracked open just slightly when you approached and you could see the Reverend sitting in the pews, reading his Bible, through the gap. Taking one less final deep breath, you pressed the door open and stepped in, the heels of your little white chucks padding against the hardwood. Teagard turned around at the sound, “Why, hello, there.” He greeted warmly. It disgusted you how this man could act no different after knowing what he’d just done but the worst monsters were human. 

“Uh, hi there, Reverend. I’m sorry to bother but I just needed to talk to you about something.” You began, accentuated your Appalachian drawl while trying to make your voice sound as young and innocent as you could. 

He patted the pew beside him, “Well, my child, you’ve come to the right place. That’s what I’m here for. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” 

Skin crawling as you walked, you forced your feet to move towards the man and sit beside him. Right away, his arm stretched behind your shoulders as he sat uncomfortably close. At first, you avoided eye contact, “Well, um, you see, I’ve been… straying from the light and I really want to get right with God.” 

This had to be the first truth you’d told anyone other than Arvin today. You felt too terrible lying in the presence of God so you’d found a way to genuinely get your feelings off your chest while still luring Teagarden into your trap. 

He rubbed his chin and hummed, “The fact that you acknowledge this means you haven’t strayed too far. God always comes back to his flock, even to those little sheepies who’ve gone astray. Why don’t you tell me more.” He urged. 

Your hands squeezed the strap of your bag tightly, “I… I have lustful thoughts sometimes.” 

Preston was lucky he’d had a lot of practice concealing his emotions because he’d be lying if he said that those words didn’t stir something in him, “Now are these just thoughts or have you acted on them?” 

“Oh, just thoughts, Reverend. I’ve never acted on any of them.” You reassured, finally meeting his eyes. They seemed to look at you with such understanding that you could see why Lenora and Jeanette had fallen for him. 

He nodded in approval, “And who are these thoughts about?” 

This was where you’d have to do a bit more lying, “I don’t really want to say.” You blushed bright red. You knew that Preston must have taken this as a sign that it was about him but it wasn’t. Your dirty thoughts never strayed from Arvin. 

Preston looked away and then back down at you, “You’re going with that Russel boy, right?” 

Silently, you nodded, not wanting to incriminate your boyfriend too much in this process of confession. 

“Has he ever touched you?” Preston pressed, his body getting closer to yours inch by inch until your legs were nearly touching. 

The red in your cheeks wasn’t part of the act anymore but genuine. You shook your head, “No, never.” You felt almost panicked at the question. 

“Have you ever touched yourself to these thoughts?” His voice became slower, more cautious as his inquiries got riskier and riskier. 

You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact with him anymore and looked back down at your shoes instead, just shaking your head, “No, I feel too weird. Like it’s a violation or somethin’.” 

Preston looked away, as if considering something, before turning back to you, “Can I show you some place? I find it helps me feel closer to God when I feel like I’m goin’ astray. Perhaps I could help.” 

Hook and sink. He’d fallen right into the trap. With a shy nod, you agreed sweetly, “Yeah, yeah, I’d like that. Is it far?” 

Teagard shook his head, “Oh no, not too far at all. But I’ll drive so we don’t have to walk.” 

Getting him to drive you to the spot was just as easy as you imagined it would be. With a quick glance in the rear view mirror, you noticed a car in the far distance behind you that you immediately recognized as Arvin following. Preston’s car came to a stop in the same field you’d seen him take Jeanette Reaster to a few weeks ago, facing the woods ahead. 

It really was quite peaceful and would have been a pretty sight if you weren’t with a sexual predator. Again, his arm slid around your shoulders and you breathed in deeply, the intense sexual tension making you uncomfortable even though you had every intention of finishing him off before he even got a hand up your skirt. 

“You said that Russel boy has never touched you. Have you ever shown him yourself?” The fact that this man had the nerve to ask you such questions disgusted you beyond belief but you kept up the facade. 

“Like naked?” You clarified, seeing him nod, “No, not naked. We went to the lake one time so he saw me in my bathing suit then but that’s not exactly the same thing.” 

Preston chuckled at your naivety, “No, no, not the same thing at all. You know how you’re supposed to save yourself for marriage to be right with the Lord. But there is nothing that brings you closer back to our heavenly father than to be as Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, the garden of pure paradise.” 

“How is that so?” You cranked up the childlike inquisitive nature as you looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

Preston had to fight the urge to take you here and now, looking at you like this, but he remained strong for the sake of the process. “They were made in his image. We all were but they were his original children. The pure, unaltered image of God himself, before the sin of man tainted it all. By showing yourself in your pure, unaltered image, you bring yourself closer to the light.” 

Your brows furrowed, “But didn’t you just say that premarital sex is a sin?” This may have been jeopardizing your mission but you felt inclined to point out the hypocrisy before you offed the man. 

He nodded, chest falling and rising with a heavy sigh, “It depends on who you’re with. I’m a man of God myself and I like to model myself after Jesus. I’d like to think that makes me an extension of His love and power and therefore an outlet for you to feel safe to do whatever you need to do in order to be right with Him.” 

With a shaky breath, you bit your lip, “Alright. H-how do I-?”

Preston watched as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt and let his mind wander to what else those fingers might be good at. “First, let us pray.” He reached over and held your hand, “Lord, Y/N is showing herself to you. See her Lord, as you made her. She presents herself to you. Give her strength. Amen.” 

“Amen.” You muttered after him, your fingers slowly going to unbutton your dress. This wasn’t how you’d imagined the first time a boy seeing you in your knickers going. In your mind, it had always been on a nice romantic evening with Arvin and a selfish part of you wanted it to stay that way but then you remembered why you were doing what you were doing and sucked down the reservations. At least you weren’t actually losing your virginity to the monster. 

Nervous fingers fuddled with the button for just a moment too long and Teagarden twisted sideways, hands coming to cover yours, “May I?” He offered his assistance. 

Your heart thumped so loud you could hear it but you nodded silently, letting your fingers fall onto your thighs. With deftly skilled fingers, he had your blouse unbuttoned before long and had pushed it off your shoulders. Your breath caught in your throat at this much exposure, your breasts just barely concealed under only the fabric of your bra. Lord, you prayed silently, please let this be over with quickly. 

Your eyes slid closed, trying to imagine that it was Arvin touching you instead of Preston Teagarden but then the mere thought of comparing the two made you sick to your stomach. They were nothing alike. 

A set of chapped lips kissed your forehead gently, then your cheek, and then, finally, your lips. At first, you drew back, but still kept your eyes closed, trying to mask the disgust with untouched hesitance. You forced your body to relax again and Preston took that as a cue to continue with what he was doing, his lips returning to yours. 

Wasting no time, he’d crawled over you until your back was flush against the seat. You placed your hands awkwardly and haphazardly on Preston’s shoulder’s, trying to feign inexperienced confusion. You and Arvin may not have ever gone all the way, but you’d at least gone this far. 

Preston’s lips moved down your neck and your breath got caught in your throat. As much as you hated it, he knew what he was doing. This man knew all the right buttons to push to make a nervous girl submit to his every desire and, though you were well aware of the game he was playing and had zero attraction to him, the physical reactions were almost impossible to stop. Your body shuddered when his stubble, something Arvin lacked, scratched the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes were open wide now, just waiting for your boyfriend to finally show up and save you from this situation. 

Arvin approached the car and slowly and quietly as he could. The windows were up so it wasn’t too big an issue as long as he wasn’t clanging metal but he figured he didn’t want to take any chances. When approached the driver’s window, his heart wrenched and he immediately regretted putting you in this position. 

Preston was on top of you, his hands roaming all around your semi-exposed chest. He knew that you’d never been exposed like that to anyone before and he suddenly felt sick with himself for allowing the first time to be with anyone beside him, let alone Preston fucking Teagard. 

He expected to have to psych himself up for the actual kill, to have to convince himself to do it but when you locked eyes with him, a silent plea to get the man off of you, it came unnervingly natural. With the rope already wrapped around both of his fists, Arvin reached for the handle and threw the door open, looping the rope around Preston’s neck and dragging him back out of the car. Preston’s eyes were wide with shock and fear, “What the fuck?!” He hollered in fear, the words turning to gagging and choking. His hands grasped at the rope but Arvin had it pulled too tightly. 

Preston’s body was kicking against the grass but his neck and head were pressed against Arvin’s chest, who was kneeling in the field. 

“You really thought you could get away with what you did to my Lenora? To that poor Reaster girl you murdered? And then I bet you were willing to do the same to her over there too, huh?” He seethed, notioning over to you with a flick of his chin. 

The reverend tried to say something, anything to defend himself or get himself out of this situation but Arvin never let up so the words came out as disgustingly graphic chokes. You crawled out of the car, not knowing what you could do to help or secure the situation but feeling useless now. 

In a few minutes time, his lips had turned blue and the thrashing of his body had stopped. Arvin finally let up and the body slump into the grass. He crawled back and away from the man who had only moments ago been all over you, touching you. 

That was when he remembered that you were there still. He’d gotten so blinded by rage that he almost blacked out, caught up in the task at hand. But when he looked up, his heart began to beat again and he stood up, rushing to you, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

Your face was pale and blank, almost as if you were in shock. Your top was still totally unbuttoned, white modest bra still exposed to the world but you didn’t look like you cared at all. If Arvin was being honest, this wasn’t how he’d pictured seeing you topless for the first time going. He always hoped it would be romantic and with more than enough time to compliment every inch of your perfect body. Instead, you looked scared and shocked and almost like you could be sick. 

“Y/N?” He urged, coming stand between you and Preston’s body, attempting to break your view of it. He reached down and began to re-button your blouse for you. 

“I’m fine,” You said flatly, only moving to look up at him, “Are you okay?” 

With a glance down at his knuckles, the rope burn was clear to see, but Arvin had been through much worse, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry that I let him do that. This whole idea was stupid and now-” 

“No,” You interrupted, finally snapping out of your shocked state and bringing your hands up to rest on his, which were on your chest now, “He can’t hurt anyone anymore.” 

Arvin didn’t actually feel remorse for killing the man. The only thing he wanted was to take you back home, or rather far away, where there weren’t any reminders of today’s events. He wanted to show you how special you were, how much he loved you, and how brave he thought you were for being willing to be Teagarden’s last victim for the better good of the world. 

[outarizaki]

Lovesick. — Levi Ackerman.

SYNOPSIS: In a world infested with mindless, horrendous human-chomping titans, you’d never expected that Levi taking care of you was how you’d go out.

WC: 2.3k

PAIRING: Levi Ackerman x Reader

GENRE: Fluff

A/N: this is my first time writing for levi/aot in general and just overall my first time in a long time from doing creative writing i hope you guys like it!

In truth, Winter has never been your most favorite time of the year.

After all, those delicious hot meals, thick blankets, and cozy naps by the fireplace always came with a price for you every single year, wherein the same chilly weather that granted you those several pleasures only betrayed you and bit you in the ass annually, reeling you in again and again for recurring nightmarish sicknesses.

For as long as you remember, you’ve never fared well with such drastic change in weather. Ever since you were a little girl, your fevers were sky high enough to make your mother lose at least a year off her life with every time they checked your temperature around the dreaded season.

Thus even now, as a distinguished and mighty cadet in the Scout Regiment, there you lay, thrashing in wrinkled sheets with a spiking fever of 103° Fahrenheit.

It was quite an unraveling series of events. Perhaps you should have let it be known much earlier to your squad and superiors.

Maybe they would have taken your sudden, voracious collapse against a blushing Jean in the mess hall a little less seriously.

You could still recall those same goofy shrieks of surprise from your squad members with a grin. The look on Connie’s face was absolutely priceless.

But as you stared up at the ceiling, sweat beading at your hairline and mouth clammy with dehydration, your mind could only render and wring out the possible reactions that could have emitted from your Captain Levi.

Ever since you joined the squad, you’d been naturally drawn and fond of him. His cold demeanor seemed to be just a thin layer between a complex personality, and as much as you hated to admit, you desperately, secretly wanted to claw underneath that sheen.

It started with one sleepless night in which you brought yourself to the kitchen to rid yourself of your heavy mind with a book, only to find your captain sitting idly with a cup of tea.

You remembered the first encounter, how you babbled apologies like some sort of nitwit and he scowled and waved you off, uttering an, “it’s not like I own the damn room, quit being an idiot and do what you need,” before you dejectedly nodded and took a seat with a book just some feet away from him.

The insomnia seemed to grow only more and more, and a few more awkward nightly greetings later, it became a routine. He slowly began to acknowledge you, humming short replies and holding small talks every now and then.

Then on the field and during training he mindlessly complimented you. In his own way, of course.

A grumble of, “you didn’t get killed,” or, “you didn’t look like complete shit out there,” were some hearty examples of that.

Time went on as you began to loosen up even more around the squad, shamelessly poking fun at your members and joking around with them constantly. Even berating the Captain every now and then with snarky remarks that earned hesitant chuckles and gasps from your team, and even sometimes, if you looked really closely, a smirk from the Captain himself.

So with your poor little heart, ready to yearn, there was a spark of fondness towards him. One you wish would smother before it fanned out even more.

Damn him.

You wondered what he had thought when he saw you faint atop of Jean, that poor boy. How ridiculous you must have looked. How humiliating it must have been.

“God, I could die,” you groan aloud and fling your body on your side, hands coming to grasp at the roots of your scalp.

“That is quite an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

That voice. Speak of the devil.

Instantly, you spring up to meet his gunmetal gaze, hissing at the speed that caused your brain to seemingly rattle in your head with fatigue.

He tsks his tongue, brows furrowing together in an unamused manner as he walks towards the table across your bed. You swallow gently, gaze averting to the tray he holds with a small teapot, one teacup, and liquid medicine. You grimace.

“Oi...” Levi begins without looking back at you. You look to his stature expectantly. “You look like shit,” he says, finally twisting his torso to lock with your gaze.

A breathy, sarcastic laugh escapes your lips.

“Gee, you have such a way with words, Captain Suave,” you croak out with a roll of your eyes before easing your posture, allowing yourself to slouch.

“Don’t call me that.”

With his back faced to you once more, Levi feigns an aggravated grumble, yet the ghost of a grin still resides on his face. You watch in silence as he begins to move around the things on the tray.

You take your time to drink in the sight. His raven undercut, bangs slightly covering his handsome face, his white button-up rolled up at the sleeves showing off his veiny forearms, his black pants and leather shoes, the look of faint concentration on his sculpted face as he pours the contents of the teapot into the cup... and God, his hands. So slender and delicate, his fingers nice and long and—

Shit. What are you doing?

You take a deep breath and compose yourself in time before he turns at you again, bored look on his face as he approaches you with a cup of tea and the tiny bottle of medicine.

“Never thought I’d have to babysit one of my most promising Cadets,” Levi drawls out, handing you the teacup. Your fingers graze against his as you accept it, breath hitching in your throat slightly.

You fight off the gooey feeling by occupying yourself with his crude words.

Scoffing, you take a small sip of your tea, only to frown at the feeling of hotness. Levi’s brow arches in question.

“Who said you had to, Captain?” You say softly. “You’re busy. Why didn’t you ask Sasha to come instead? She would have brought me some good food, too.”

“Stolen you food, you mean. And what? You don’t like my tea?” He husks out, to which you perk up in realization.

Quickly, you shake your head to deny his question. “The tea is lovely. But I’m pretty sure my body is hotter than that teapot, and quite frankly the warmth feels suffocating,” you preach.

“Plus, you’re busy. And I look — indecent. You said it yourself,” you whisper the last part shyly, gulping down another sip of tea.

Levi feels taken aback. Surely you hadn’t taken offense to his comment, right? Brat, he thinks to himself.

“Tea is good for when you’re sick. You’re nauseated. Did you expect us to give you some sweet or cold crap while you have a fever?” He says sharply, squinting slightly.

You chuckle a bit at that.

Waving your hand, you grumble. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” you roll your eyes.

“Quit rolling your eyes at me.”

“Quit giving me a reason to.”

“Oh, you want me to give you a reason to roll your eyes back, Cadet?”

Your gaze widens and you feel yourself choke on your tea.

Your arm bolts to set your cup onto the nightstand and you glare up at him. You swear you see the faintest hint of amusement glint in those stupid grey eyes of his.

Suddenly, you’re feeling a little too hot. And you’re sure it’s not your fever.

Levi raises his brows, unimpressed as he leans forward. Slowly, he brings his hand to your forehead and presses his cold fingers against you. You feel your heart stutter in your chest, holding in your breath.

“You’re burning up.”

Wow, I wonder why.

“Yea? Tell me about it. I’m literally feeling all of it as we speak, old man.”

He clicks his tongue in irritation, straightening his back before jolting his arm at you with the bottle expectantly. “You’re better off holding your tongue, Cadet. Now take your medicine.”

Your face scrunches up. He narrows his eyes as you cross your arms and look elsewhere.

“L/N.”

“No.”

“Now.”

“No! It tastes gross.”

His eye twitches at your defiance.

“God, this is like talking to a little kid. Take it or I swear-“

“No.”

“Take the damn medicine. And that’s an order, Cadet.”

You look up at him with a scowl. Hesitantly, you take the bottle before unscrewing it, taking your sweet time until finally you down it reluctantly.

Meanwhile, your Captain stands with his arms crossed, albeit satisfied that you finally listened.

Once it goes down your throat, you gag slightly.

“God, this shit is vile-“

“Language.”

“It’s worse than what we usually take! What is this?”

“Higher grade medicine. I had to ask Erwin and a few of the nurses for even just that small dosage, you damn brat. I need you back on your feet ASAP.”

You blink. He went through trouble just to get you medicine? A fond grin starts to stretch on your lips.

“Thank y-“

“Don’t thank me. It’s my job to keep my Cadets at their best,” he practically half-lies through his teeth.

Oh. Right.

You nod, that fluttery feeling slightly dampening at his words. Of course. You’re just a young woman in his squad. His subordinate.

Levi notices. He doesn’t say anything.

“Now get some rest. I’ll clean up your room. It’s filth in here,” He scrunches his nose.

“Maybe ‘cause I’m sick, smarta- I mean, Captain,” you slur drowsily as you plop down onto the pillows. Whatever you took, it was strong.

The look on his face affirms he didn’t take lightly to your potential word vomit, though he allows to let it slide, much to your favor.

Levi groans, tidying up the teacups and the pile of clothes by the baskets, as well as the used bedsheets. He stops to think what in the hell he’s doing, going out of his way to care for one soldier.

He chalks it up to it simply being a better option than the inevitable mountains of paperwork he has to face later. That was it. Right?

A moderate amount of time had passed until he was satisfied with what he’d done. Levi’s eyes avert to your tiny figure on the bed. Laying flat on your back, arms sprawled beside your head, a dreamy smile on your lips.

The man walks up beside your bed. When you suddenly shift your head towards him, he startles a bit.

A breathy, twinkly giggle leaves your mouth as you look up at him. Levi swears he can feel his heartbeat in his ears.

You pout playfully, pointing an accusatory finger up at him. “Stalker. Are you here to watch me sleep?” You say almost so incoherently, Levi isn’t sure you’re speaking a language.

He can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips at your change of demeanor. So out of character, even for you.

The pout on your lips soon curves into a sleepy grin of your own, and your eyes gloss over with something that makes your Captain’s breath hitch in his throat.

Such gentle, comforting fondness.

When you urge him to get closer, he obliges, slightly bending over your figure despite the rouge in his cheeks. Levi holds his breath as you reach up, fingers threading through his bangs to pull them back.

“You’re pretty when you smile, you know?” You whisper gently, the smile never fading from your obviously far-gone face. “Such a handsome boy.”

Heat rises even more to Levi’s face and he gulps thickly as he watches your arms begin to drop, eyelids following soon after.

A delighted, snoozing hum releases from your throat, and only then does Levi allow himself to breathe.

His eyes glance over you once more.

Soft cheeks, pretty eyes, long eyelashes. The tank top on your torso still allowing you to look like the most stunning thing he’s ever seen. The unruly bed-head hair that sat messily, yet still appearing soft to the touch, making him want to rake his fingers through. Your soft lips, still stuck in that smile. Your flushed face.

Levi sighs dreamily and defeatedly. He brings his hand up to pat at the top of your head.

“Shitty girl,” he says underneath his breath, voice cracking like that of a young boy with an unwavering crush. “You look — decent.”

His brows knit together even more as he thinks it over, finally sighing gently.

“You’re much prettier, Y/N,” he whispers, mostly to himself.

Levi then exits your room, his face still hot with fluster, hands shoved into his pockets, and the giddy feeling in his heart still reigning supreme.

And at the corner of the hall reside the Levi Squad members, spying from afar.

“You owe me your next lunch, Connie. I told you they liked each other!”

“Shut up before he hears you!” Jean scolds quietly.

“Oi,” a voice sounds from behind them unexpectedly.

They all freeze. Their blood turns cold. Armin is sure he’s as good as dead.

“Give me fifty laps outside. All of you. Now.”

“Not bad after feeling shitty for so long,” Levi nods at you as you return from combat training for the day.

You smile brightly, eyes twinkling as you catch your breath.

“Mhm. All because of you. Thanks for-“

“Don’t thank me.”

“I said,” you say firmly. “Thank you for taking care of me. You didn’t have to.”

Levi can only sigh and nod. “Sure.”

You beam at that, beginning to stride past him, before stopping midway.

“Oh, and Captain?” You begin.

He grunts in response, slightly turning your way with that same stoic expression.

“For the record,” you hum sweetly. “I think you’re the prettiest.”

And with that you walk away with a proud smirk, leaving Humanity’s Strongest with a pounding heart and the reddest cheeks mankind has ever seen.

[kareniliana]

Klaus: Love & Power

A//N: I’ve been gone for a LOOONG minute. But I have good news about it. 

I MADE THE DEANS LIST! 

Winter qtr of college was a little difficult but it was the best I’ve ever done in school. Such good news right!?

Anyway, this qtr I have a little stricter schedule, which means I knew specially when I can write. And I had been. 

GET READY!

& enjoy!

xx Karebear 💛🧸

Yours and Klaus’s love story seemed far fetched for most people but for those who were able to experience your connection grow into an immense amount of love for each other, would say otherwise. You became his world, alongside with Hope. In his mind, after he was able to curse Hayley and the werewolves in the bayou, he had the perfect life. His two great loves under his roof, under his sole protection. You would never agree to what Klaus has done, but nonetheless you love him. He’s the complete opposite of your previous partners in more ways than that. You understood him, through and through. You knew him like the back of your hand, you know his next move before he does. 

You were holding Hope in your arms as you walked along the bookshelf trying to get her to sleep, but all the effort was about to go to waste when Klaus comes barging in panting about to rage about gods knows what.

But before he could begin you raised a warning hand, “Don’t you dare wake her!” You whisper shouted at him. He instantly stops dead in his tracks.

Once his breathing normalizes he sits down on the couch, “The witches are siding with Marcel against me, they want my crown.”

You walked over to him, handing off his sleepy daughter to him. “You don’t need to be everyone’s king. You have all that you need with Hope and I, right?” You asked shyly.

He looks down to a sleeping Hope, then he looks back up to you before nodding his head.

“Maybe you should just give them New Orleans?”

Klaus sighed before standing up, “I should put her to bed, it’s late.” Klaus avoided your advice, walking off to Hope’s bedroom.

After a few minutes of contemplating whether you want to still be here when Klaus comes back or not. If you stay, you’ll more than likely have to sit there listening to him rant about this losing battle. If you leave, you can avoid all of that. 

With no incentive to stay, you grabbed your things and made your way out of the compound. 

As you walked down the steps you notice a disheveled Elijah. He sat on an almost broken chair, drinking liquor out of a broken bottle. The entire ground floor is basically destroyed, broken tables, chairs, artwork, glasses and everything in between. 

“Who in the Hades did you fight today?” You gasped at the sight, oddly enough no bodies were to be found. Blood could be seen splattered all around.

“Y/n, my apologies for the mess, I seem to have taken it a bit too far.” Elijah stands, setting the bottle on a table. In mere seconds the table caves in, shattering the bottle on the ground.

Elijah tried to fight the smile off his face, but it only grew twice in size.

You laugh at his reaction, soon Elijah bursts into laughter as well. As you descended down the rest of the steps, Elijah explains how some of his sires became a threat to the rest of his family.

“Therefore I sent them a message, ‘come after my family, I will come after you.’ It’s what this family does best.” Elijah explains as he begins cleaning up the broken furniture as you stood on the last step listening to him.

“Violence begets violence, this family of yours lives in a cycle of violence.” You sighed, crossing your arms across your chest. You sounded almost defeated.

“You speak like it’s your final efforts dealing with the dramatics of my family, why is that?” he asked, noticing how fed up you are.

“I love Klaus and I love Hope, but...” You shake your head, holding yourself back.

Elijah stopped cleaning, “No, no, please don’t hold yourself back now. If there is anything this family is in dire need of, it’s your brutal honesty. Please continue.”

You sighed, “It’s just... no matter how hard life gets for him, he will not give up the one thing that brings most of this unwanted violence.”

As you spoke Elijah had come to the same realization as you, his face fall into a slight frown as he listened to you.

“After all this heartbreak and sorrow brought upon your family, you’d imagine he would at least hand over some of the reigns. But no, the mighty Klaus Mikaelson has to be King of everyone.” You talked without any reservations on the topic, eventually your tone became stern and cold.

“I know my brother can be a lot, he wants the perfect life for Hope. You can't blame him for that.” Elijah speaks with some regret, they're problematic past on his mind.

“I love that man but at some point I have the face the truth, there’s nothing more that he loves than power.” You almost choked on your words, first time saying them out-loud was harder than you thought. 

Without another thought you gather your composure and hurried your way to the exit, “I should go.”

Elijah opened his mouth as he was going to say something but was speechless. There wasn’t something he could say that would fix what you were feeling. After some short time has passed Elijah had managed to get the ground floor back to its glory.

Meanwhile Klaus sat in Hope’s nursery all night, just watching her sleep. He kept thinking about what you had said; giving up New Orleans. How would he be okay with giving everything back to Marcellus? 

Klaus hadn’t realized that he had been there all night until the sun rises and began to beam into the room. Letting Hope sleep, he finally leaves her room quietly. He walked around the house in search of you but much to his surprise, you weren’t in bed or the kitchen or even the study. You never came back.

Elijah walks into the study behind Klaus, “Hope’s still sleeping?” 

“Have you seen Y/n? She never came home last night.” Klaus asked, worry evident in his voice.

“Not since last night when she left, you had a fight.” Elijah states which only angers Klaus.

“Were you eavesdropping on us last night?” He began to raise his voice, Elijah simply looked at his younger brother with a stern look.

Smirking at Klaus, “I had a conversation with Y/n on her way out, that is all.”

Klaus wanted nothing more than to chase you down and talk but Hope started crying meaning she’s awake. First Klaus tends to his daughter, contemplating on what to do with the situation at hand.

He knows you love him with everything that you are, but letting go of this city was something he didn’t think he’d every have to do again.

As soon as night falls, Freya comes to watch over Hope while Klaus goes out looking for you.

You sat in the lycée with Davina, she performed a cloaking spell on you to stay hidden for a while. She practiced different spells, continually getting up for different plants or herbs for said spells.

“I never would have thought that the city of the dead would be this... peaceful.”

“It’s a great place to help think, maybe soon you’ll start telling me why you need to hide from your own boyfriend.” Davina laughs slightly as she walks back to you with different colored potion bottles in her hands.

“Klaus needs to be King of New Orleans, I just need to finally accept that as one of his personality traits.” You sighed, setting down whatever witch instrument you had been playing with.

“A guy like Klaus means there is no changing him. Take the time that you need to sort your feelings, I’m meeting up with Josh. No one should come through here.” Davina gathered her things and walked out to go with her vampire friend.

Hours pass and soon it would be night, your thoughts ran wild. You love Klaus with every cell in your body, you could die loving him and it'd be a worth while life. So maybe him being the King of New Orleans is something to fight for. You’ve loved him when he's at his worst, so why can’t you love him when he’s fighting to stay King.

Coming to the realization that no matter where or what Klaus is doing, you’ll love him and want to be with him. Almost immediately you made your way out of the Lafayette Cemetery and straight to the Mikaelson compound.

After a few hours, Klaus lost hope in finding you before you wanted to be found. He went back to his daughter to wait for your return, running into Elijah at the enterance.

“Anything?” Klaus asked him, almost pleading with his eyes for some good news.

Elijah shook his head, “I didn’t want to mention this but, brother maybe she's not coming back.”

“Why on earth would you say such things?” Klaus asked before looking over to Elijah who wore a guilty expression. “Unless she said something?”

They slowly began to make their way inside the fortress, “Our chat last night, she mentioned that you might desire power more than you desire love.”

Klaus stopped dead in his tracks, there you were standing in front of Freya who was holding Hope.

Once you noticed the brothers enter the room you began apologizing for basically vanishing out on him. “I am so sorry, I needed time to figure out my stupid feelings.”

Klaus walked straight to you, pulling you into his embrace. Freya and Elijah looked to each other, making their way elsewhere to give you and Klaus some privacy.

When he pulled away he held your hands in his, “Your feelings are never stupid. There is nothing I love more than you and Hope. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, it was never my intention. I don’t need to be King.”

Your eyes go wide and you furrow your eyebrows, “No, no, I was wrong. I know why you have to be King. It’s okay, really. I know that everything you do is for those who you love.”

Klaus smiled down at you, “I do love you, do not forget that.”

[feral-dumbass]

F*ck Me

James “Bucky” Barnes/ Female Reader

Summary: Bucky loses a bet and has to wear a maid dress. Neither of you expected you to be so into Bucky wearing it.

Includes: Bucky in a maid costume, Knife kink, ripping of clothes, Bondage, unprotected sex, brief mention of Bucky being turned on by glasses, Beefy!Bucky, use of vibrator (sharing of it too), manhandling, overstimulation (Possible dub-con because of it), dirty talk, unprotected sex, size kink, choking (with the metal arm)

Words: 4,103 

A/N: Happy New Year! I finally actually finished a WIP. Bucky does wear a maid dress, so if you know me in real life, no you don’t. I just wrote a crack fic. Didn’t I? Title Credit to Vernon Jane. Tagging my friends @babybluestan​ @gagmebucky​ @heresyoursnackdumbass​

Masterlist

It started off with a bet. Who could beat Thor at armwrestling? Cocky egos and bored minds don’t mix well. Quill and Steve both lost. Most men that weren’t gifted with super strength didn’t need that question answered. Bucky decided to join in on the camaraderie. Besides, if Steve lectures Bucky team bonding one more time, he’s gonna lose it. 

Everything was fine until Tony couldn’t stop talking. Out on a personal vendetta ever since you and Bucky took Stark’s Audi out for joyride and put the most miniscule dent on the hood, Tony suggested more than money. If Bucky lost, he’d have to follow Thor around in a maid’s costume at the next compound party with the team and vice versa. Thor and Bucky were already sitting across from each other at the table when Tony announced it. It was too late to back out now. With Clint cheering on the statement and Steve starting to mother hen, Bucky said fuck it. Thor even let him use his bionic fucking metal arm. How bad could it be? 

Bucky was wrong. Bucky was so very wrong. Never make a bet about strength with a God. The gears and plates of his arm buzzed from the tension underneath the sound of the men choosing their sides and cheering them on. Even though Bucky put up a good fight, he lost and probably needs to kiss Tony’s ass to make sure the processors are still functioning. Thor has a good grip.

The package arrived at your doorstep Thursday, just in time for the party on Friday. You were the one to place it on the kitchen table. You were sympathetic to Bucky’s predicament after a good laugh. The offending package sat there for the next twenty-four hours, Bucky avoiding it like the plague. It’s not that Bucky hates it per say, it’s just a clothing item for fuck’s sake. He just hates the fact he’ll never hear the end of it.

 He expresses the same fact exactly to you as he tears open the package in the bathroom. He tries on the maid dress while you wait patiently for him on the bed. Bucky manages to zip himself and stare at himself in the mirror. Bucky sighs at the sight. For a genius, Stark is really bad at guessing sizes. Bucky is practically busting at the seams. “Damnit.”

“Aww. C’mon out, Bucky. I’m sure it’s not-” You try to assuage Bucky as your eyes never leave the latest gossip magazine of the Avengers. At the sound of the bathroom door creaking open, you look up. Momentarily stunned, you forget your words. Magazine long forgotten. “Oh- oh my god.” 

“I know. This feels indecent.” Bucky crosses his arms underneath his chest and your mouth waters.

“No, Bucky, not in that way.” You didn’t expect Bucky to look this good in frilly black and white. The bands of the poofy sleeves strain against his bulging biceps. The bust also straining against his pecs. The dress is so short the bottom of Bucky’s black boxers peak out. Not to mention, Bucky has his emotional support knife strapped to his thigh. You wish you could be surprised you’d fuck him like this, but then again, he is Bucky Barnes. “It’s not that bad.” You slur your words a bit, still focused on the band stressed around Bucky’s biceps. You lick your lips and suck the bottom one in between your teeth.

“Wait, is this actually working for you?” Bucky ducks down so you’re forced to look him in the eyes. No point in beating around the bush. Act coy and you might never get to see him like this again. 

“Would you judge me if I said yes?”

“A little bit. Yeah.” You shrug. It’s not like the nerd hasn’t asked you to wear glasses while you give him head. Different strokes for different folks. 

“Would you wear it in bed?”

Bucky lets out a surprised laugh and shakes his head. “Keep looking at me like you wanna eat me alive and I’ll wear anything for you.” He strides over to you, pulls your hair so you look up at him, and kisses you with blazing passion. This is fine. You’re more than happy to give Bucky a few minutes of happiness before he spends the whole night brooding. Bucky barely separates from you. “We can skip the party and I’ll wear it in bed for you right now?” His lips brush against yours as you stare at him with heavy lidded eyes. 

“Stark will probably conduct a man hunt and it’s probably best no one see what I have in store for you.” 

“Please, do share your plans.”

“I was thinking we could bring out the nylon ropes. I tie you to the headboard and have my way with you.” Even with his hair half up in bun, pieces of his hair fell out. You tuck a brown piece of his hair behind his ear as he swallows thickly and groans.

“Are you sure we have to go?” You nod as a grin slowly spreads across your face. “Give me ten minutes before we go to my personal hell.” Bucky walks back into the bathroom, trying to fix the growing bulge in his boxers. 

~

The party is going surprisingly well, Bucky being less broody than usual. Turns out when you’re girlfriend promises to ride you into the mattress, your mood lightens. Bucky’s smirk has been laced with secrecy all night. It probably doesn’t help that you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off him, flashing him fuck me eyes everytime he caught you. By the fifth time Bucky caught your eye, Tony had enough. 

“Oh my god, you guys look like your two seconds away from fucking eachother in front of us.” Tony complains. 

Bucky shrugs in all his maid dress glory. “I wouldn’t mind.” Bucky looks to you for confirmation. 

“Uh, hey, no. This isn’t fun anymore. It’s getting weird. You lost your party privilege. Leave before I order both of you a psych eval on Monday.” Tony pretends like Pepper hasn’t told you things three margaritas in. Fine, he can act all pure and mighty all he wants. You’re forced with the knowledge Tony is a good submissive for Pepper. 

“Thank God.” Bucky is ushering you to the elevators before you can say something witty back to Stark. Once in the elevator, Bucky incessantly presses the door closing button.

“Pressing the button ten times doesn’t make the elevator work faster.” The elevator hates you and starts closing as you speak. 

“You were saying?” Bucky backs you up against the elevator and ducks down to kiss you which eventually turns into making out. He lifts you up by the back of your thighs as he deepens the kiss. He moves his kisses down to your neck, sucking hickeys into your skin in between kisses. Pressed in between the wall and Bucky, you’re forced to feel all of him, rutting his quickly hardening bulge into you. You’re like 99% sure Bucky is ready to fuck you in the elevator. Security cameras be damned. It wouldn’t be the wildest place you had sex and you’re about ready to help drop your pants until you remember your plans. You rake your hands through his hair, grab a nice hindfull, and pull, taking his lips off your skin. 

“Bucky.” You whine with a pout of your lips. His eyes track the movement of your spit-shined lips, too entranced to look you in the eyes just yet. “You agreed to let me tie you up and I’m holding you to it.” The elevator dings with the arrival of your floor. 

Bucky smashes his lips against yours for a quick kiss. After he separates, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “I spoil you.” It’s his only response before he’s carrying you to the bedroom. 

Managing to make-out with you and kick the bedroom door open, Bucky sits down on the edge of the bed. Your legs are forced to spread wider to accommodate his thick thighs, the knife strapped to him digging into your inner own. 

“You’re wearing too much clothes.” Bucky tugs on your shirt.

“Maybe you should help me with that.” Before you can finish your sentence, Bucky is pulling your shirt up. You finish pulling it over your head, flinging it onto the bedroom floor, as Bucky works on unfastening your jeans. Bucky pauses his task at the sight of bare skin. He groans deep within his chest. So maybe you wore Bucky’s favorite lingerie set, navy blue and semi opaque. You’re even wearing slutty panties to match. You were hoping to get railed tonight even before the maid dress was introduced into your life. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re gorgeous.” His hands travel to your breasts kneading them through the flimsy material. Goosebumps break out underneath Bucky’s calloused touch. His stubble scratches as he kisses the swell of each breast before gently dragging his hands back down to your pants. You duck down to kiss him as he snakes his hand into the back of your pants, squeezing handfuls of ass. “Well, are you ready to be in charge, baby?”

“Please.” You push Bucky on his back and hop off his lap. You slide a chest out from underneath the bed and get out a couple objects of interest including the nylon rope. Bucky moves to the center of the bed as you take off your pants. You crawl onto the bed and Bucky. He meets you halfway for a kiss, his hand on the back of your head. 

“Did ya wear all this just to torment me? Knowing I won’t be able to touch you is driving me crazy.” 

“I will admit I didn’t wear this with bondage in mind. You ripping my underwear off with your teeth is more of what I was thinking, but I’m flexible.”

Bucky’s chest rumbled. “I’m aware.” With darkening eyes, Bucky lets you maneuver his arms up to the bedpost and tie him to it. Of course, it helps he has a perfect view of your cleavage dangling just a few inches from his face.  Once you’re done tying him up, you kiss his cheek. 

“Remember your colors, baby boy?” You ask him in between kisses on his neck, nipping at the skin. It’s a  line Bucky has used on you so many times and now it’s your turn to use. His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Yeah.”

“What’s your color? These too tight?” You tug on the binds wrapped around. 

“So fucking green. They’re not too tight. Although, I’d be a lot better if you were on my cock right now.” You suck a hickey into his neck. 

“It’s cute you think you’re still calling the shots.” You grind down onto him, your eyes fluttering at the feel of the sweet friction, but Bucky doesn’t need to know that. You blow on the hickey and Bucky shudders underneath you. You sit up to admire your handiwork. His eyes are lust-filled. A hint of a rosy flush decorates his cheeks and chest. Bucky’s arms flex at your incessant grinding. 

“Please, wanna be in you.” He ruts his hips up, adding more friction. You bump into the handle of his knife, reminding you it’s there. You reach behind you and unsheathe the knife. Bucky’s knife glints as you take note of it.

“Tell me, Bucky. Are you invested in your outfit?” 

“Oh my god, please. Destroy it.” He stares up at you with such awestruck devotion. You lift up the skirt and cut through the torso of the dress. Bucky lets out an whorish moan even for him. His chest and abs out on open display and your mouth waters. As much as you loved seeing Bucky in the maid dress, this is fun too. You slowly drag the tip of the knife gently down his abdomen, muscles flexing under the cool touch of metal.The sounds of a rip makes you pause. You check and sure enough Bucky’s bulging metal bicep has ripped through the band of the dress. 

“Holy shit, I love you.” You smash your lips onto his for a messy kiss. Bucky is more than eager to slip his tongue into your mouth. You pull away when you need to breath and work on Bucky’s sleeve. The previous rip already making the cheap material easy to shred. You make the rip reach the slice you made and use the knife for the other sleeve. You put it back in it’s sheathe. Bucky maneuvers to the best of his ability so you can pull the maid dress out from underneath him. You pull his boxers down. His red and leaking cock hit his stomach. You grab the vibrator off the edge of the bed and turn it on it’s lowest setting. You drag the vibrator up and down the underside of his cock. He shouts out, muscles tensing at the stimulation. Just as quickly as you were touching him, you’ve stopped. You move the vibrator off him as you grin, bringing the vibrator to your clit through your slutty panties. You lose yourself in the vibrations before Bucky speaks out gruffly.

“Watch it, sweetheart. Whatever you do to me, I can do to you.” Your response is to turn up the setting on the vibrator and moan out. “Oh, c’mon, don’t you want my dick?” He rocks his hips up. “You can act like a tease all you want, but we both know you love leaking with my cum. You just love being filled to the brim as I fuck you through both of our orgasms.” You whimper out his name. “Yeah, honey, you were made to take this cock. Do such good job of it too. C’mon, please. Jus’ wanna feel you cum around me. That stupid piece of plastic can’t make you cum as hard as I can.” You thought you were slut for Bucky Barnes and that was before you heard his gravely begging underneath you. A whole new wave of want rushes through your veins and your shutting off the vibrator. Your hand pumps his dick a few times, leaking so much you don’t even need lube to touch him. 

“Fuck!” Bucky repeatedly chants as you finally grab the base of him and slide him into your entrance, panties pushed to the side. Bucky is gargantuan. He always is at the first slide. Your walls need a few seconds to accommodate him. During the time, Bucky’s muscles tense as he pants. He can’t do anything, but feel you. No outlet for the pent up energy he’s been harboring. He is literally so pretty, you can feel a heartbeat in your lower muscles. You grind on his dick, testing your limits. He groans. “Baby, I’m gonna you to-.” Bucky’s encouragement is cut off with a deep groan as you lift yourself off Bucky’s cock, tip just outside your entrance, and falling back on it. Bucky can’t stop his curses and groans as you do it again and again, eventually setting a nice pace for yourself. You ride Bucky’s dick in earnest. Closer than you realized with the previous vibrator and his dirty talk, you move in a way that feels good for you. Bucky’s pleasure an afterthought. With a hand pressed against his pectoral, you rock against him. You close your eyes and bite your lip, bringing your other hand to rub your clit.

“Oh my god, are you gonna cum already? How’s my cock feel, sweetheart? Such a cockslut, you’re already close. Look at me.” Bucky rocks his hips up as you drop down, causing you to gasp out his name. “Look. At. Me.” You open your eyes to glare down at him. You hands slides up to wrap around his thick neck. You can feel his racing pulse underneath your fingertips. 

“I swear if you ruin this for me, I’ll-” 

“You’ll what? What will you do?” Bucky waits for a response. You can’t, too tongue tied as your peak gets closer and closer. “That’s what I thought. Now be a good cockslut and cum on my cock.” You double down on your efforts until you’re cumming. Pleasure rolls up your spine. You’re movement falters as you get lost in your orgasm. Before you know it, you’re on your back, you’re supposed tied up boyfriend on top of you.  Bucky picks up your slack, fucking you at a brutal pace through your orgasm. 

“Wait, Bucky. How?” You brain tries to catch up as he gathers your wrists in his metal hand and pins them to the bed above your head. 

“You need to get better at tying, baby. Didn’t even have to break the restraints. They fell apart halfway through.” 

“Fuck.” The word you use is long and drawn out, arching your hips to meet Bucky’s thrusts. Having a supersoldier underneath you to use at your indiscretion was fun, but there truly is something about letting Bucky take the reins, rippling muscles of caged energy pressed against you. Bucky’s thrusts slow as his free hand searches for something on the bed. With a victorious grin, Bucky is turning on the vibrator at a higher setting than you previously had it. He slides it between your bodies to rest on your clit. The flimsy lace of your stretched out panties does nothing to barricade the pleasure. 

“You’ll cum for me, again. Right?” You curse his name, trying to buck away from the vibrator. The vibrations are too much for your sensitive clit. Bucky is persistent, keeping the vibrator pressed against your clit.

“Fuck, Bucky. Please. Please. Please.” It’s your turn to repeat words, not exactly sure what your begging for. You just know the pleasure is almost too much. With the combination of Bucky’s girthy cock and the vibrator, it’s not long before you’re coming. Your muscles shake as your orgasm hits you. You moan until your voice runs hoarse. He keeps the vibrator on your clit until your orgasm is done. 

“Love it when you cum. Wish I could be in this pussy all day.” Bucky lets go of your wrist and cups your cheek tenderly. He ducks down for a filthy kiss, tongue included. Your muscles feel weighted, but you manage to match Bucky’s enthusiasm in his kiss. Before you can register it, your brain a little fuzzy from the two orgasms, you’re facing the sheets on your stomach. His cocks slips out during the commotion. Bucky lifts your upper half to lean against him so you’re on your knees, using his own knees to spread them. You head rolls down. 

You share the same qualities as a rag doll right now, joints weak and ears still ringing from your orgasm. Not that it’s stopping Bucky. Facing down, you get to witness Bucky’s angry, leaking, and glistening with your cum erection extending practically past your belly button as he ruts against your sex. Electric shocks are sent to your nervous system everytime Bucky manages to make contact with your clit. Your only thought is you want him to destroy you with his dick as he wraps his metal arm around your neck, head now resting against his clavicle. 

“Remember your colors, baby girl? What’s your color?” Bucky’s voice is in a low, hushed tone. His lips brushing against your ear as he speaks. You eyes flutter shut, hands moving to hold on to his forearm wrapped around your neck. 

“Green.” Even with your hazy mind and heavy tongue, you manage to answer Bucky. He presses a quick, stubbly kiss to your temple before turning his attention to your underwear. 

“These are unnecessary.” He grabs ahold the triangle of lacey material of your underwear and pulls. It doesn’t take much of Bucky’s strength for the strings of your underwear to snap. He throws the offending clothing over his shoulder. He flips his bowie knife out of the sheath strapped to his thigh. Bucky fucked the knife out of your memory. Goosebumps erupt onto your skin as he gently traces the knife’s tip up your stomach to slip underneath the band of your bra. “I’ll buy you a new set.” He says before slicing through the band of your bra with a flick of his wrist.  You gasp out and Bucky slices through the straps too. He flips his knife into the sheath and throws your bra away from you.

“Want your cock, Bucky. Please.”

“How could I say no to such pretty begging? I can’t let the cockslut be hungry for too long, now. Can I?” You can feel Bucky reaching his hand down over your abdomen and then the next thing you know, you’re being filled to the brim with cock. Okay, fuck what you said about the first slide. You’re pretty sure you could cum again at this slide. With your fucked out brain, there is so much of Bucky. Bucky sliding his cock in slow sure doesn’t help either. Bucky groans right next to your ear. It’s almost a sensory overload. You haven’t even registered you’re moaning yourself. Bucky finally- finally bottoms out, giving you time to catch your shuddering breath. “You still with me?” 

You manage to rasp out an affirmative. 

“Good girl.” And then Bucky is pulling out and thrusting in. You manage to get out a curse at the friction before Bucky truly starts to thrust into you. His pace picks up quickly. His powerful thighs slam into your slick ones as he rumbles deep within his chest. You can feel it throughout your whole torso. “Addicted to this pussy. Love how you feel around me.” Bucky moves his right hand to rub your abused clit. You grab ahold of his wrist. Bucky’s too stong to move his hand off your clit. You’re forced to feel the all the pleasure he gives you. 

“Aww, c’mon. You can cum for me one more time.” Bucky tucks his nose behind your ear and kisses underneath it. He changes the angle of his rubs and your thighs start to shake. “There you go, sweetheart. Just one more.” Bucky’s metal bicep bulges making it a little harder to breathe as he thrusts faster. The two previous orgasms make you sensitive.  In just a few meager minutes, you can feel the rise of your orgasm. This orgasm hits you harder than the previous two. The pleasure takes you over in waves. Your thighs shake as Bucky fucks you through it. He moans louder than you sounding like he enjoys you’re orgasm almost as much as you. He finally notices your fingers digging into his skin and stops rubbing your clit. 

“God, baby. I’m so close. Gonna let me use you?” 

You nodd. 

“Say it.”

“Use me. Wanna feel you cum in me.” You rasp out with an even heavier mind. Bucky lets out a whorish moan as his thrusts get even more energetic. It shouldn’t be possible, but then you wouldn’t be dating a super soldier. Within just a few more thrusts, you can feel Bucky flood your insides. He groans as he slows down to prolong his orgasm. Bucky was hot before, but he’s even hotter as he coming. The only thing you dislike about this position is not being able to see Bucky’s abs contract as he cums. You can still feel his abs jump against you lower back. Bucky’s thrusts eventually die down until he’s just bottomed out in you. He takes a minute to catch his breath before he uncurls his arm off your throat, keeping his right hand on your hip to steady you.

“How are you feeling?” He asks as he gently slips out and sets you on the bed. 

“Tired.” 

“I know and you can rest in a bit, but we gotta get cleaned up first.” You groan at that. “C’mon, baby. I’ll grab the washcloth.” The smile in Bucky’s voice is prominent as he gets out of bed. You can hear him rummaging around in the attached bathroom as you rest your eyes. You fall asleep before Bucky can bring out the warm wet washcloth. He still wipes you down while you’re half asleep before joining you back in bed.

Bucky will be there in the morning to massage out your sore muscles because Bucky is a good boyfriend. And if you happen to order the same maids dress the next day only to leave it in the exact same spot the previous package was in, Bucky doesn’t bring it up. He just adds it to the back of his closet when you’re not looking.

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 13

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: sad. this chapter is sad. Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You were sitting at a stool in the compound’s kitchen when a familiar face walked in. Bucky had eventually explained to you that this was a sort of “headquarters” for the team. You felt a bit foolish having realized you never kept up much with these mighty heroes but you were eager to learn now. So far, you hadn’t encountered anyone you didn’t personally know on this famed team. Even now your eyes landed on the welcoming yet worried face of Steve.

“Morning,” you said, waving your fork before stabbing some of your scrambled eggs. Bucky had insisted on cooking for you despite your assurance you were fine but his cooking skills were....subpar. Still, nothing was inedible and you needed your strength back.

Steve reciprocated the greeting, saying your name with much excitement. “How are you feeling?” He added while making his way to the coffee pot. You chewed your eggs borderline viciously as you debated on an answer. 

“I’m okay.” You gave a shrug, staring down at your plate. Part of you wanted to let more out but you ignored it.

Steve came back around to the counter, standing on the other side across from you. He held his coffee cup firmly, nervously almost. You could feel him watching you. That excitement he had said your name with felt like it was evaporating from the room slowly.

“That’s… good,” Steve said. “If you need someone to talk to we have plenty of resources and - and I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

You peaked a glance at him, confused. You placed your fork on the counter. “Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“I worry I led them right to you,” he explained, “like you two were separated for a reason.”

You frowned. You hadn’t thought about this - heck, you hadn’t thought about blaming anyone other than the disgusted men with such joyous evil looks in their eyes.

“Steve, I don’t think there was any way anyone could’ve prevented this.” You pushed your plate of food away. “They had their sights set. They had a plan, an optimism. It may have just been the soulmate experience in this case,” you sighed. Steve mumbled your name, shaking his head, but you continued, “And that’s fine. Love doesn’t come easy, right?”

“Being kidnapped is not part of being in love.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have an ex-assassin for a soulmate.”

Steve’s jaw went slack. You were staring him down now, practically begging him to say one more thing. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Steve finally settled on. Ever the cool, calm, and collected star-spangled man. “You will recover and it’ll never happen again, we can promise you that.” His voice was serious as if every word ended with a period. You felt tears starting to well in your eyes. You wanted to say something, maybe ask for a hug or just… you didn’t know what, so you just sat there, slumped in your chair like a defeated puppy.

“Everything okay here?” A sudden voice made you jump. You and Steve turned towards the kitchen doorway where Bucky was standing, arms crossed, worry etched all over his face. It seemed to become his permanent expression now. Even when it was just you two, he always appeared on edge.

You nodded, turning back to collect your plate and take it to the sink. “We were just chatting.” You didn’t see the look you just knew Steve and Bucky were sharing.

When you turned back around to face the pair, Bucky had crossed the room, almost close enough to now be hovering over you. You flinched when he went to put a comforting hand on your shoulder. You didn’t know why as you clearly didn’t think he was a threat but hadn’t you seen how threatening he could be? You lowered your head, fighting off the thoughts. He wasn’t like that to you and he had proven it time and time again. Why was it suddenly different?

Before either of the men could comment on your sudden hesitation, you said, “I’m going to go take a shower.” They just nodded, letting you exit.

***

When you got out of the shower and back into the room the team had lent you and Bucky for the time being, Bucky was waiting patiently on the bed. You lingered around the space, picking out some pajamas to wear, acting as normal as you could. You took in the space, still amazed by it. It was fairly large with top-notch amenities, including a luscious bed, spacious dresser, and television from technology you weren’t sure existed for the general public. It even had access to your own grand bathroom, saving you some war flashbacks of the communal restrooms at college. 

You dipped back into the bathroom and got changed. While your intimacy with Bucky hadn’t been on the shy side, you weren’t in that kind of mood right now. Rightfully so, you would say.

Emerging once more, you noticed Bucky had made a sort of resting area for you on the bed. Your side was surrounded by blankets upon blankets and soft pillows. He even had a movie queued up for you two to watch. He laid waiting, his eyes practically begging you to come to him. After giving your hair a final wring, you gave in and crawled into the soft bed, letting all of you just melt into it.

“How are y-,”

“Bucky,” you sighed, turning towards him. He was laying on his side, staring down at your curled-up form. “Please don’t ask how I am.”

He nodded. “I get it, doll. I’m just worried about you. You seemed alright yesterday but today…” Yeah. You’d taken a dive. Your whole mood had shifted. Heck, your views on the world had shifted. As dramatic as it seemed, you were having a hard time snapping back. You weren’t even gone for over two days and yet the smallest thing...

“I think it’s just all settling in,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe it was just shock yesterday or something but realizing what all happened… Gosh, this probably seems so foolish to you.”

Bucky began shaking his head profusely. As gently as he could, he took your hand in his. You welcomed the action as you shifted under the makeshift mountain of blankets. “Don’t do that, honey. Don’t try to dismiss it or think what you’re feeling is foolish. You went through something so terrifying. You’re allowed to react to it.” He took a deep breath. “When we talked yesterday, I think I thought maybe they hadn’t gotten to you. That nothing had happened that would leave you torn up but you saw… a lot.”

You knew he wasn’t talking about just being exposed to Hydra and their twisted selves. “I did,” you hesitantly agreed. “And I fear it’s going to take a lot to recover.” Your words felt like you were delivering punch after punch to Bucky but where were you going to get if you weren’t honest?

“Anything you need, sweetheart,” he mumbled, his thumb drawing soft patterns on the back of your hand, sending shivers through you. “I’ll do anything to make it better.”

You nodded, averting your gaze to where your hands were connected. Your hand was so tense but you hadn’t even realized you were squeezing his. You relaxed it slightly and Bucky’s motions stopped.

“Bucky,” you mumbled, “can I ask you something?”

He hummed in response.

“What do I offer you?”

You could feel Bucky’s eyes staring you down. No doubt a concerned frown was playing on his lips. “What are you getting at here, honey?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “When I was… you know… the - the older man said that he didn’t understand why we would be paired together. They were determined to figure out what I offer you. What makes me so special.” A beat. “I really don’t know the answer.”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head. You glanced up at him again, his eyes now holding a different kind of anger. You felt bad for doubting yourself but the insecurity from the words of some random guy settled into your brain. 

After a thoughtful moment, Bucky spoke, “I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand what you give, not just to me, honey, but the world. You’re so fearless. You’re incredibly understanding. Not to mention how compassionate and bright you are…” His voice cracked slightly, breaking your heart a little. “You force me to remember that I’m not alone and I don’t have to be. And I just really hope I do the same for you.”

You could feel your own tears forming as you shifted just a bit closer to your soulmate. You weren’t quite touching but you could still feel his presence. It was as comfortable as you could get right now and Bucky seemed to respect that. 

“I hope I’ll be okay,” you confessed. “Eventually.” 

It quite amazed you how fast stuff could change within yourself. You woke up from being rescued with the more extravagant hopes and overwhelming relief of just making it out alive. But then you remembered the price of you making it out alive. What you had to witness to get there. And then the thoughts of actually being back in that position rushed over you. Needless to say, it was weird. Simply weird. Unlike anything you had encountered before. 

Bucky soon nodded, encouragingly. You hated putting anything else on him but he had become part of the memories now. It was one thing to see him in dreams and another to watch it just feet away from you. 

With a choking sob, he said, “Me too, doll.”

[bonkwrites]

In My Arms (All Might x Fem!reader)

Request: (@madamcashe)Could I request a Golden Age!All Might x Smol cute fem reader? This man has to have some sort of guilty pleasure involving seeing such a cute thing beg for him to reck her and then struggle to take allllll of his mighty d o n g. (BruhLmfao) He got a mega weak spot for cuties and a greatly suppressed “corruption” kink, if you will. Thank u!!! 🥰

Pairing: Golden Age!All Might/Fem!Reader 

Warnings: bit of corruption kink, size kink, big daddy all might doing big daddy allmight things, pet names, honorifics, begging, more size kink. very NSFW. 

You adjust the straps to your babydoll lingerie nervously. It’s a pale pink color, gorgeous in contrast with your skin, and the lace on it is pretty. You’d heard Toshi come in a couple of seconds ago, the sound of his shoes being kicked off and the door being shut rushing you into sitting prettily. The bed dwarfs you, given how big it had to be to fit Toshi on it, the blankets are soft on your skin as you rub your legs together. 

“I’m home!” He calls from the stairs. You bite your lip. 

“Upstairs!” You reply. He begins to ascend the stairs and you wiggle on the bed for a moment, debating between pulling the covers over or not. 

You gasp when the door opens, sitting up with the blankets clutched in your hands against your chest. He freezes in the doorway, eyes widened at how adorable you look. 

“Pumpkin.” His voice is low, eyes trained on you. “I… I’m going to take a shower but stay where you are- don’t move.” 

“Toshi, hang on.” You throw the blankets off you and get out of bed. The skill needed to kiss a man almost two feet taller than requires you to give up your pride. “Kiss me.” 

“Of course.” He leans down and scoops you up to kiss you. You let him take control from the get-go, content to let him scrunch up the babydoll and grope up your sides. 

“Shower- shower-“ you pant into his mouth. “You stink, go shower.” 

“You smell good.” He presses his nose to your throat. You whimper. 

“Toshinori~” you whine. He chuckles, setting you on your feet. 

You watch him disappear into the bathroom and you get situated on the bed, back against the pillows. You let your head fill with fantasies and past experiences with him. The one time, your mind remembers, he had held your thighs apart and ate you out until your were crying and pulling at his hair. It was exactly what you wanted. A different night, he’d come home from work and you’d been so pent up you’d rode him right on the couch, so full you couldn’t even think. 

You let your hand wander down to inside your panties, the lace hides nothing, barely even obscuring your skin. You whimper, biting your lip as the shower turns off. He’s going to find you like this, wet and squirming, wishing your fingers could be enough- 

The door opens and he exits the bathroom, a towel held to his head as he dries his hair. It falls straight around his head without the styling and the sight of him all undressed makes you whimper. 

“Toshi~” you whine. 

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?” He says as he approaches the bed. He pulls you up to kiss him and you moan into his mouth. 

“I love you like this.” He switches from kiss your lips to marking up your neck. “You’re so pretty.” 

“Thank you.” You gasp, neck sensitive. Your legs spread and you grasp his wrist. 

“What’s wrong? Your hand isn’t enough?” He asks. You whine, back arched against his hand, the one holding you up by your back. It spreads almost the whole way across the small of you back and that alone makes you throb with want. 

“It’s never enough.” You reply. “My fingers aren’t big enough.” 

“And you just told me you don’t need me.” He jokes, referring to that morning when you opened the can of pickles without him. 

“For opening jars.” You whine. He chuckles, keeping his hand still no matter how hard you try to push it further. “Please, just- just touch me.” 

“Touch you? Where?” He pulls back and your hand weakens around his wrist. You blush, suddenly embarrassed under his gaze. 

“It’s- it’s embarrassing.” You kick your feet, thighs rubbing together. He raises an eyebrow. 

“Maybe I have to guess, then.” He says, fingers splaying out and shaking your hand free. You grip onto his shoulders with both hands, the muscle there is barely covered by your fingers. 

He lays you down on your back and you cover your face with your hands, even more embarrassed now that you’re so far below him. 

“Hey, now.” He whispers. He leans over you, pulling you hands away. “No need to be embarrassed. Let me take care of my princess, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” You whisper back. He smiles and pulls away, the smile forming into a smirk quickly. 

“Let’s see.” He knocks your thighs apart with a hand and they fall open easily. “Where does my princess want to be touched…” 

“Toshi… please…” you beg. 

“Shh.” He shushes you. “I’m concentrating.” 

He runs his hands over your thighs, squishing the skin there underneath his fingers. Your wedding band glints in the dim light and it only turn you on further. 

“Not the thighs? Maybe… your sides?” He runs his hands up your sides and you squirm, sensitive to his touch. 

“No… ah, I’ve got it.” He let’s his fingers dip between your thighs, brushing over your pussy through the panties and you close your legs around his fingers, grinding on them. 

“That was the right spot!” He exclaims, leaning down to kiss at your exposed neck. He pushes your thighs open again. 

“Shhh, relax.” He whispers in your ear. You take a deep breath. “Good girl. Keep your legs apart.” 

You nod fervently and he smiles. You grind down on his fingers and he pulls down your panties, throwing them to the end of the bed. You spread your legs and take a deep breath as he pushes two fingers into you. 

“Ah- Toshi-“ you whimper his name and he groans, leaning down to kiss your thigh. 

“You’re so small…” he admires you, his chin still pressed to your thigh. “Two of my fingers fill you up.. how are you going to take my cock?” 

“You ask me that every ti-ime.” You choke out, grasping at his wrist as he massages your clit with his thumb. 

“You amaze me every time.” He replies, smirking up at you as he sucks marks into your skin. Toshinori’s the only guy you’ve ever had to finger yourself before letting him fuck you and it’s definitely within reason. 

“I’m going to add a third, okay?” He brings his free hand up to your cheek and you nod with a whimper. The third one makes you feel more full than before, and you press your face further into his hand. 

“You’re doing so well.” He whispers against your thigh. You pull his thumb into your mouth and moan around it. Everything about him is so big compared to you. 

“Toshinori~” you moan his name. “Feels good.” 

“Does it?” He asks, almost mocking you. “You like being full, huh? Princess?” 

“Yes.” You sigh. 

You blush furiously when you see the way he’s looking at you. You can’t imagine you look very pleasing right now, the babydoll is sticking to your skin with sweat, your hair messed up. He pulls his thumb from your mouth and wipes the spit on the sheets. 

“I like filling you up.” He says. You blush even harder, legs squirming as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you. You moan, back arching and hips flicking up to trying and get his fingers in deeper. 

“Just like that… good girl…” he moans against your thigh as it shakes. 

“I’m gonna cum, oh fuck-“ you moan loudly, probably injuring your voice, and he holds your hips down with one hand to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. 

“Stop- stop-“ you whimper, pushing against his wrist. He pulls his fingers away and sits up, leaning over you to get a condom. 

“Kiss.” You mutter, brain foggy from your orgasm. He chuckles and kissing you, smiling against your mouth. 

“You’re so gorgeous.” He whispers. “You’re a dream.” 

“Toshi…” you whisper in reply as he spreads your thighs. 

“I’m going to push in, okay?” He looks up at you, such a stickler for permission. You nod. 

Three fingers are nothing compared to him, and you know that. He always goes so slow to start, looking down at you with his hands on your hips, wondering how such a small woman can take him with so much pleasure. 

“Fuck.” You curse, face red. “Feels good- ah- feels full.” 

“You’re amazing.” His fingers dig into your skin as he speaks, words cut off in a moan. He never gets to bottom out in you but he wouldn’t risk hurting you to do so. 

It’s when he sees the bulge of his cock through your stomach that he stops and you start to whimper as he begin to thrust. You can’t keep quiet or still hands gripping his biceps and the sheets next. Your hips twitch and you moan louder with each thrust. 

“Toshi-“ you moan his name. He bends down, your body dwarfed under his as he kisses you. You wrap your arms around his shoulder and let your nails dig into his skin as you get closer and closer to your orgasm. 

“You’re doing so well, taking me so well.” He says, his thrusts slowing. You whimper and grind your hips down, taking him deeper. 

“Greedy woman.” He grunts, one hand on your hip enough to steady you. 

“I can’t think-“ you gasp, the only words floating around in the empty space that is your mind are his name and your desire to have him like this every second of every day. 

“That good, huh?” He asks. You open your eyes, glaring up at him. He chuckles. 

“I wanna be on top.” You say, hands tangled up in your lingerie. 

You shake them free and let him reposition you. Your weight is nothing compared to what he lifts in the gym, he bench presses you for a warm up. Your thighs strain as you lift yourself up and start to sink down on him. 

“I want it all.” You whimper, hands pressed to his chest as you straighten your back and sink your hips down until he’s completely inside you. 

“It doesn’t hurt?” His words shake, despite how well he’s keeping his composure. You shake your head and grind your hips down, moaning loudly. 

“Fuck.” You whimper, falling forward onto his chest and shaking. “I can’t- I shouldn’t have asked to be on top-“ 

“It’s okay.” He brushes a hand trough your sweaty hair and throws and arm over your back. “I can take it from here, princess.” 

He lifts his knees and begins to fuck you from underneath. The angle is fantastic, has the both of you a moaning sweaty mess in mere moments. 

“I’m gonna cum again, oh fuck.” You moan against his chest, legs perpetually shaking now. He moans. 

“Me too. I’m cumming- princess-“ you shudder through your orgasm with him, crying out his name. 

Slowly and carefully, he pulls out of you. You wince and lay flat on his chest, still shaking slightly. 

“I can’t move.” You whisper. He chuckles and the action makes you bounce on his chest slightly. 

“I got you.” He whispers in reply. He lifts you up, laying you down on the bed. 

He goes to the bathroom to throw away the condom and run a bath. 

“I love you.” You whisper as he lifts you up in his big arms. 

“I love you more.” He kisses your forehead. 

[justreadingfics]

It’s a Deal (Chapter 6)

Chapter Summary: It’s time for the anticipated party.  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3.1k

Warnings boytoy!Bucky, mention to casual sex, open relationship, someone catching feelings.

A/N: No smut in this one… Thank you to my sweet Les for having my back. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

Tag list for this story is closed.  

Bucky takes a sip from the whiskey in his hand and, for a glimpse of a moment, he thinks of the time he would absolutely hate the scenario around him right now, crowded with people of all imaginable sorts, loud chattering and music, dance floors flashing with bright and colorful lights. A party, but not just a party, a Tony Stark Party, filled with all of that and also the best food in the country and even better drinks. He used to loath them, until he freed himself from his own mind restraints and remembered what a party really was: an opportunity to let yourself lose, follow no rules except to have fun and, of course, meet some nice people, especially women – lots of them- to spend time with… in his bed. 

What had never crossed his mind, though, is that would come a day when he would be interested in meeting just one. And he holds his gaze on her right now. She’s there, among the sea of bodies, sipping from her drink while laughing and talking with her friends, Nat and Sharon.

Bucky can’t help the smile forming on his lips at the sight of her having her fun. As she should be…that party is all for her, after all. She looks beautiful, as usual, in a shimmery short dress and heels high enough to make a desert of his mouth. But it’s that loose laugh of hers, when her head falls a bit backwards as her shoulders shake and she puts her hand over her stomach, that makes his heart flutter inside his chest… He doesn’t even notice when his smile turns into a shuddering sigh.

He clears his throat before taking a long taste of his whiskey, hoping the strong liquor down his throat would help to put himself together. This is getting ridiculous… He needs to figure out what this huddle of… strange feelings growing inside him every time he sees or even thinks of her means… He needs to figure that shit out soon. 

“Well, well, well.”

Steve’s voice grasps his attention as his eyes advert from her to meet his friend walking closer to him.

“What’s up, punk?” Bucky doesn’t even know why but he immediately hates that little teasing smile on Steve’s face, he decides to ignore it, though.

“That’s one vision I’m not really used to. Bucky Barnes drinking all alone at a party. Where’s the mini harem that it’s usually seen surrounding you at such events?” Steve asks, not trying to disguise the playful sarcasm in his words.

“Night is only beginning, pal,” Bucky answers, putting on a cocky smile and tapping on Steve’s shoulder, using a bit more strength than usual.

“Yeah, sure,” Steve chuckles, not thoroughly convincedby the excuse, “You know, ever since Nat and I came back from the mission, I’ve been hearing some interesting speculations from some members of the team who stayed here…”

“Do I wanna hear it?” Bucky cocks an eyebrow.

Steve hums, “The word is out you’re just not the same anymore,” he shrugs and sips from his drink, peeking Bucky from under his eyelashes.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

 “They don’t see the usual parade of women coming and going from your apartment. Sam says there’s been one mysterious lady, though… but none of them seem to guess who.” With no hint of subtleness in him and with a teasing smirk on his lips, Steve turns his gaze to her direction across the room.

“Jesus…” Bucky huffs, shaking his head before drinking from his whiskey, “Fucking all mighty Avengers… Don’t you all have a World or two to save instead of gossiping about my private life?”

“Which was never really that private, let us be honest.”  Steve laughs.

Bucky can’t help but to let out a small laugh, too, shrugging at the incontestability of the statement. He was never one to be much discreet about his shenanigans.

“What is that exactly?” Steve insists, nodding his head in her direction, where she still talks animatedly with her friends, “I didn’t know you were, ahm, close friends with Y/n from the tech department.”

“Didn’t you walk in on us the other day?” Bucky puts on a mocking frown at him, “Do you need me to reenact it for you, pal? You know I would have no problem with that, but we’re gonna have to ask her-“

“You’re such a jerk,” Steve cuts him off, his cheeks already showing a shade of pink at the memory, “And don’t you think I didn’t notice that little stunt on movie night, too,” he adds in a chastising way, but the scowl quick breaks into a smile when Bucky laughs, “You know what I’m talking about, you’re Bucky, you love ladies, as in plural, you have loved them ever since you were a kid in the 30’s, I have to admit you’ve always been respectful in your own way, but you were never been a guy to settle for just one for longer than a night or two…” Steve follows Bucky’s gaze, which has automatically navigated towards her. He lets out a knowing hum before speaking again, “But I guess your path just hadn’t crossed with hers, yet…”

Bucky looks back at Steve, whose eyes are gleaming with something like excitement. Bucky doesn’t know exactly how the words sink into him, but he feels like he can’t just disagree, not if he’s going to be completely honest. Never has he felt the need to be with only one woman for that amount of time until… until her.  

“I mean,” Steve continues after no answer from Bucky, “I think it’s great, it was about time for you to find someone-“

 “Don’t go imagining unrealistic scenarios on your romantic little head, Punk. My name is not Steve Rogers to get off on,” a grimace twists Bucky’s face as he speaks, “Love, attachment… or any tacky sort of shit you’re into.”

Steve opens his mouth as if he were to say something, but lets out a frustrated sigh instead, pressing his lips into a taut line.  

“No, seriously, pal,” Bucky continues, in a less snapping tone, “Our, ahm, friendship is based exclusively on what you’ve seen and heard so far,” he smirks, “Sex. She had just gotten out of a long relationship and needed to get off, Nat thought of me - of course -introduced my dick to her pussy, they’ve become best of friends and here we are now,” he holds back a laugh, knowing damn well how the vulgar choice of words would make Steve’s 40’s little brain short-circuit, being the precise reason why he chose to put it that way.  

“Alright, alright, you’re just messing with me now,” Steve seems in a hurry to make his friend stop talking.

Bucky lets out the laugh he was holding and punches his friend’s shoulder, gaining a dirty look in response before resuming, “I mean… It’s nothing like you’re insinuating, she’s great and we’ve been having fun, that’s all,” Bucky adds as his gaze falls upon her again. Yeah… she’s great. And beautiful, sexy, funny, smart, kind- clearing his throat to dismiss his own betraying line of thoughts, he turns back to his friend.

“If you say so.” A small smile curls Steve’s lips, showing he’s anything but convinced. 

Goddammit, he does have a lot to figure out.  

~~~

“I knew something was up, Bucky never stays for movie nights.” Tears fill Sharon’s eyes from how hard she’s been laughing.

“I felt like a horny teenager in my parents’ home,” you resume the story you’ve been entertaining Sharon and Nat with, “Not that my teen years were that exciting,” you add with a grimace, “Far from it exactly, I was a tech nerd since I was eight, not really something that rocks teen boys’ worlds.” Bucky seems to really dig it, though, is the immediate thought that pops into your mind, but you see no reason why you should say it out loud.

“Well, it did bring you far enough,” Nat winks at you, moving her glass around the party being held to celebrate you to emphasize her point.

“Damn right,” Sharon agrees, raising her glass, which you and Nat quickly follow in a cheerful toast.

You can’t shake the smile of your lips. You wouldn’t go as far as to connect the events, but after your breakup with Eddie, it seems like you’re living another life. A new and more exciting life, both personally and professionally… That’s why it shouldn’t bother you so much that you still haven’t seen him. He said he would be there after you called to tell the news and invite him to come. But it does bother you to casually look around the party and not spotting him…

“So, it’s been like a month since this deal of yours started, right?” Nat asks, catching your attention after gulping from her customary vodka.

“Yeah,” your eyebrows furrow as you nod, “Sounds about right… and what a month, holy shitballs…” You round your eyes, letting out a puff.

“Care to share more details?” Sharon asks, wiggling her eyebrows.  

“Well…” You quickly survey the area around you and sneakily lean closer to them as they mimic you, “I had no idea what my body could do, I mean, I’ve been in positions I’ve never thought were humanly possible to perform, there’s not a day I don’t feel sore on every little inch of me, it’s a constant state by now,” you add, and the grin on your face tells how little the soreness really bothers you.

“Super soldiers…” Sharon smirks and winks before clinking her glass of champagne with yours.  

As Nat chuckles, you let out a giggle, “Yeah, I mean, my poor pussy hasn’t seen that much action her entire life.”

Nat’s jaw drops as she scoffs and turns to Sharon, “Check this out… this woman wouldn’t even say the word “sex” without choking before,” she points at you and you shrug, keeping the smile on your face. 

“That’s the Barnes effect,” Sharon comments, before turning to you, ”But wait a minute, how often you two have been keeping this encounters up?”

You take a second to think about it before answering, “Almost daily, I guess. When I don’t call him, he ends up calling me and so we go.”

“Really?” Nat asks and when you give her the confirmation, her brows snap together as a wondering “huh” slips out of her lips.   

She seems surprised by the fact you’re seeing Bucky practically every day, but you think nothing of it, “I’m sending you a whole box of this vodka you like so much, by the way.” You point at her glass, “You deserve it. I was just waiting for you to come back from that long ass mission of yours.”

He expression shifts to an amused one, “Oh, well, cheers to that,” she says before gulping down the rest of the liquid in her glass.  

“But let me ask you something,” Sharon cuts in, “You’ve been seeing him almost daily, having amazing sex with the Adonis we all have to agree Bucky is…” she looks at Natasha for support, who just nonchalantly shrugs her agreement, before turning back to you, “Don’t you think it can become a bit complicated? In the feelings area, I mean, Bucky can be pretty charming, but when it comes to commitment, well-” She tilts her head as a hint of concern is present on her voice.

Nat too focuses on you, interested in what you have as an answer.

You snort and waves dismissively at their concern, “No way. Don’t worry, you two. Neither of us are looking for such a thing. It is what it is: just sex. Bucky is amazing, I don’t think I would be able to have that sort of relationship with anyone other than him. He’s so relaxed and laid back, no games… he’s pretty clear with his intentions, which is no romance at all and that’s exactly what I need right now. We both want the exact same thing, that’s pretty clear ever since we set this deal and it’s not going to change,” you say with tranquility and firmness in your words.

“Are you sure?” Nat insists, giving you that look you know it’s all about her making sure you’re ok. “This whole idea came from me but I know Bucky for a long time, I know he’s not one to do feelings, but I’ve been worried about how you would take it.”

“Absolutely…” you guarantee “And to be honest, I know I need to work on it, I do, but when I think about a relationship, I mean, a conventional relationship, I still think of Eddie… I feel like I’m still too caught up on him to think of anyone else that way,” You shrug, pressing your lips in a line, “Bucky’s being really important to help me get through it all, though, I have to admit it.”

“Well… I’m glad.” Nat gives you a sympathetic smile, brushing a hand on your arm.

“Alright… I guess you have a boytoy, then, huh?” Sharon teases.

You laugh, before conceding with a nod, “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Nat says in a quiet mumble and nods to behind your shoulder.  

Before you have the chance to turn around you hear his voice. That deep and raspy voice that usually makes your skin burn and tonight is no different, “Well, well, if it isn’t the power trio… Am I the devil by any chance?” Bucky steps beside you, narrowing his eyes at Natasha, before shooting you that captivating smile of his, the one that prompts a smile of yours to swiftly twist your lips too, “Hi,” he says softly.

“Hi,” you answer, seizing the moment to take him over. He looks absolutely ravishing with his styled fluff hair, light scruff shadowing his jaw and beautiful eyes stuck on you, wearing an untied blue suit over a casual white t-shirt that not every man could make it work. Sharon was damn right, Bucky really is charming… too charming for his own good.

“So, talking about me, ladies?” He insists, tilting his head and focusing a piercing gaze on you, despite addressing  all three.  

There’s something about him… you just can’t stop smiling at his presence and, even worse, don’t seem to be able to tell a lie, not even an innocent one to save your ass, so you decide to take a sip of your champagne and leave it to your friends to answer the question. You guess boytoy can’t be worse than “human dildo”, like you called him before, but that has been just between you two...

“Yeah, yeah,” Sharon is the one to step in, holding back a laugh just like you, as Natasha, ever a pro, sustains a perfect poker face, “I haven’t seen Steve, yet and I was wondering if he would be with you.”

If you’ve seen a flicker of disappointment in his eyes it quickly vanishes as he turns to Sharon, “Oh, yeah, he was. Look, there he is by the bar,” Bucky points, “And you might wanna check the amount of Asgardian Liquor is being sneaked to him, the guy is already talking nonsense.”

“Oooo, Asgardian Liquor Steve is the best, I give twenty minutes before he starts summoning Mjölnir from wherever Thor is now,” Sharon’s face twinkles with excitement, “See you guys later,” she adds before rushing towards the bar and her boyfriend.

As a girl from the staff comes along and refills Nat’s glass with her special vodka, Bucky looks back at you. You smile at him but soon frowns a bit. There’s something different in the way he’s looking at you and you can’t just pinpoint what it is. There’s always sheer hunger in his gazes for you that makes your spine tremble, but tonight… there’s something a bit more… introspective in it, maybe?

“So, enjoying your night?” he asks.

You brush your thoughts away to answer, “Oh, shit, yeah… This is unbelievable. I was never one to party that much, but I could get used to this.” You sign with your glass around, still marveled by the over the top event being held in your name. “Tony is out of this world.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s true, though,” Natasha comments with an exaggerated eye roll.

You chuckle before a sight behind Bucky’s shoulders catches your eye.

“Hey, I-“ Bucky starts.

“He’s here,” cutting out whatever Bucky was gonna say to you, your voice comes out in a gasp as your hands run cold and your heart races.

“Who? Tony?” Bucky asks with a grin, turning his face towards the direction you’re staring at with startled eyes.  

“Eddie,” Nat is the one who answers, pointing at the man standing alone by the entrance, seeming a little lost as he glances around.

Not you nor Natasha sees when the smile on Bucky’s face falls. When he looks back around, though, he already has a lighthearted expression put on for you.

“I should go talk to him, right?” You check, shifting looks from him to Nat. As she just shrugs, curling the corner of her lips down - and by that, expressing exactly what she thinks -  you appeal to Bucky, focusing pleading eyes on him. Deep down, you know what you wanna do, but for some reason, just needs someone to back you up. 

“Yeah-“ he clears his throat, “I mean, you invited him, haven’t you?” He tightens his lips at an attempt of a smile.

“You’re right.” You nod, biting your lips nervously and looking straight ahead,  “See you guys later.” You wave, after taking one or two deep breaths.

Your shoulder brushes against Bucky as you walk past him and he turns his body around, following you with his gaze. He takes a long sip of his drink and places a hand inside his pocket, watching as you approach your ex-boyfriend.   

He tries hard to bury deep down inside him the tug on his chest.

“Oh, fuck…”

Natasha’s curse reminds him she’s still right there and he realizes she’s been watching him, with a dumbfounded expression he’s not used to seeing on her face.

He lets out a deep breath, “What?” 

Natasha scoffs and shakes her head, seeming in a state of disbelief, “This whole time I’d been worried about the wrong person.”

~~~

To be continued.

[dameronology]

an insight into forever {poe dameron x reader}

summary: imagine having a love so deep that is completely unwavering - even in the face of broken promises, unspoken words and unfinished conversations 

warnings: ANGST, so much angst, swearing, mentions of death 

enjoy :) this hurt to write

- jazz

Poe Dameron had a tendency to not think before he spoke. 

It was bad at the best of times - and it only got worst when he was around.

Worst, because you were the love of his life. Worst, because you were the most beautiful human being he’d ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. Worst, because he was completely and utterly obsessed you and worst, he’d let you go. He’d done a lot of stupid things - really, really stupid things - but allowing your relationship to reach a better end took the cake. Heck, it baked the cake and threw it into the fucking ceiling fan. Left splatters all up the wall and on the carpet and over his heart. Stained his heart with marks of your relationship, destined to keep him trapped in your unwitting grips until he met his untimely demise, probably in cockpit of an X-Wing (refer back to the really, really stupid things.) 

He’d been through a couple break ups but this felt like the be-all-and-end-all. You’d given back his jumpers and jackets and belongings that he’d left in your room, but you still held onto a few tiny pieces of Poe’s heart. It was like a subtle, permanent grip on his brain; he occasionally thought about you but was always painfully aware that he’d let go of the best person in the galaxy. You were a once in the lifetime thing, like winning the lottery or finding gold at the bottom of a rainbow. Both of those were things he’d willingly forfeit in a second if it meant having you back.

So, you probably get the point: Poe was sad, your break-up was bad and you were a little mad (that was a rhyme Finn came up with to summarise the events of your relationship’s bitter demise to anyone who asked). It had been a few months, and you were both finally at the point where you could hang out as a group of five friends with it only being slightly awkward. It had only taken a minor intervention from Rey, Finn and Rose to get you to acknowledge one another again, but it was the first step to being friends. That’s what you’d been before, and if you could just set aside your differences, perhaps you could be there again.

The five of you always made a point to hang out together on a Friday. Your jobs in the Resistance took up every waking second during the week, so it was strictly marked in your calendar as friend time and you would all be there without fail. Usually, you found yourselves in a small cantina in one of the little villages a few miles out from the base on Ajan Kloss. It was the one day a week that things actually felt a little normal; just five young friends and some alcohol, laughing together and having a good time. 

There was always something lingering in the air between you and Poe -- stolen glances and sneaky looks, and an atmosphere that paid ode to a million unsaid things and a plethora of unfinished conversations. Arguments that never reached conclusions and hearts that never quite healed; yours nor his. To force it all into a box and slam it shut and to process that hurt with proper closure was holding you back. Clinging onto your shoulders with a mighty grip that prevented you from truly moving on. 

‘So, that cute mechanic asked about you today.’ Rose’s voice pulled your attention away from the pilot and back to the painfully Poe-free reality in which you found yourself.

‘He did?’ You blinked in surprise. 

‘You did go on a date last week without calling him back.’ She reminded you. ‘He wasn’t bothered. I think he got it - everyone gets a bit busy in this line of work, right?’

Yeah, because that’s why you hadn’t replied to his 27 text messages. 

‘I didn’t realise you were even dating again.’ Finn observed, eyes briefly flickering to his best friend. ‘I mean, not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just-’

‘- Finn.’ You cut him off. ‘It’s fine. Poe and I are friends now, right?’

Poe simply looked up, dark eyes shifting from his half-finished drink. He didn’t say anything for a moment, instead giving you a look that emanated the vibe he’d rather swim naked through the seas of Hoth than answer than question. It wasn’t until Finn cleared his throat that he pulled away from your gaze and forced the fakest smile smile known to man, and every other creature that roamed the galaxy. 

‘Right.’ Did he normally speak through gritted teeth?

‘So, d’you like this guy?’ Rey asked. ‘He seemed nice when I met him in the air hangar.’

‘He’s...’ you paused. Annoying, whiny, argumentative, has a voice like a foghorn and, most importantly, isn’t Poe Dameron. ‘Fine.’ 

‘So are you gonna call him back?’ Rose pushed. ‘Because the minute you bring someone new to the table, I can set up ol’ flyboy here with the cute girl from comms who’s been eyeing him up.’

‘I’m okay, but thanks.’ Poe’s fake smile barely faltered, eyes landing on you again. ‘I don’t need a relationship when I have such fulfilling friendships.’

You almost choked on your drink at that. The irony was laying in the fact that you used to love Poe’s little sarcastic jabs and backhanded comments - at least when you’d been sat beside him, laughing into his shoulder and holding his hand under the table. Now, you were in the line of fire and maker knew you’d left your bulletproof vest at home. 

Needless to say, his forced smile fell when you gave him a kick on the shin under the table. 

‘So..you and Cute Mechanic. Not a thing?’ Finn asked.

‘Definitely not a thing.’ You confirmed. 

‘You don’t have to say it on my behalf.’ Poe said. ‘If you like the guy, you can talk about it in front of me.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself.’ You snorted. ‘It’s nothing to do with you. I genuinely don’t like him.’

That was half true: you didn’t like the guy, but it was everything to do with Poe. You could have met the holy grail of men and they still wouldn’t have had a chance in hell. That’s not to say that Poe wasn’t the holy grail, but he was flawed. So you were you. It was those flaws that had lead to your downfall in the first place. Fundamentally, everyone had to have them -- it just so happened that the best parts of you clicked so well and the flawed parts of you clashed so badly. The good times and bad parts were so different that they were like two different ends of a magnet; complete opposites and inevitably polarising. 

Rose, sensing the tension between the two of you, suddenly pushed to change the subject. ‘So, did anyone see the General-’

‘- I’m gonna go now.’ You stood up. ‘I’m really tired and I have an early meeting tomorrow.’

All four of them knew that was bullshit. There were no meetings on a Saturday, but they kept schtum. There was a chorus of okay, get some rest! and see you tomorrow, but Poe didn’t say anything. He just kept you in his gaze, watching as you gathered up your things and headed for the door.

The air outside was cold; Ajan Kloss had hot, hot summers and freezing winters. You fumbled to pull your jacket over your shoulders as you stalked away, boots thundering against the muddy path as you headed back for the base. It was only a fifteen minute walk, and it was safe for the most part. Everyone on the planet was either a native villager - all of whom were humble and welcoming - or a fellow Rebel. 

You didn’t bother to turn around when you head foot-steps behind you. It was a Friday night, which meant that there was going to be people around. 

It was only when somebody grabbed you by the shoulder that you suddenly spun on your heel -- luckily, Poe Dameron managed to catch your fist in time to save it hitting his face. It wasn’t personal. It was natural to get a little trigger happy with the ol’ mitt when a stranger grabbed you in the dark. Only, it wasn’t a stranger. It was your ex-boyfriend, looking as handsome as ever with disheveled hair and a five o’ clock shadow. 

‘For fuck’s sake!’ You snapped. ‘What the hell are you doing?!’

‘I came to check you were okay!’ Poe released his grip on your wrist, letting it flop to your side. ‘You only ever stalk out like that when you’re mad.’

‘No thanks to you.’ You shot back. ‘I’m fine. Just go back to the bar.’

‘Short sentences meaning you’re fuming-’

‘- I’m about to be well past that point.’ You cut him off. ‘Go back. Don’t worry about me.’

‘I wanted to talk to you anyways.’ He admitted. 

‘About what?’

‘About what you said back there.’ Poe replied. ‘I genuinely meant what I said. I don’t want you to not try things with that new guy because of me.’

‘Poe, I-’

‘- I mean it.’ He continued. ‘I just wanted you to know.’ 

‘Wanted me to know what?’ You murmured. ‘That I need your permission to date other people?’

‘No, that’s not what I’m saying.’ He frowned at your words. ‘I just...I mean that I wanted you to know that it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore.’

Well if that wasn’t like a knife through the fucking chest, you didn’t know what was. 

What hurt more? The fact he was officially letting you go, or the fact he thought you were even capable of falling out of love with him? Because that, you weren’t. Poe might have been the most stubborn, most annoying, most chaotic person you knew but he was everything. Everything you wanted and everything you needed - but everything you couldn’t have. You were two parts of a screwed up whole. Bad apart, but probably even worse off together. It was pretty fucked up of whoever was in the sky that they’d put you both in the galaxy at the same time. Existing without him was less painful than existing in a world where you couldn’t be together. 

‘Poe...’ your voice was small, a tiny crack appearing in the middle of his name. 

‘Me being an ass is just a defence mechanism.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘And I’m sorry.’

‘I haven’t fallen out of love with you.’ You ignored his apology. 

‘Like I said, it’s okay.’ He shook his head. ‘I can see it in your eyes.’

‘If you think you can see it in my eyes then you clearly don’t know me at all.’ Your voice shook, but you managed to throw the accusation at him. An admirable trait, surely. 

‘I don’t think I do.’ He admitted. ‘Not anymore.’

--

The next morning, Poe was sat in the canteen. He didn’t normally rise so early on weekends, but thanks to your discussion the night before, sleep had alluded him. 

Instead, he was staring aimlessly at his whole bowl of oatmeal. He’d been stirring it around for the better of an hour, thinking of nothing but you. He thought it was sweet of you to have rejected his claims of love (or lack thereof) but nothing you could have said would have made him believe you. It all stemmed down to the fact that he’d spent so long convincing himself of it. If he truly believed - or at least thought he believed - that you didn’t love him anymore, then he wouldn’t fool himself to having false hope, He was more likely to force himself to pull his head out his backside and move on. It was less painful that way, to rip it off like a bandaid. There was no hope if there was no love. Both of those things were and few these days. 

Poe jumped out of his exhausted, self-inflicted trance when something slammed on the table in front of him. He practically jumped out of his seat, oatmeal flying everywhere as he let out a yelp. He was about to open his mouth and yell, to cry in vain of his airborne breakfast, but he immediately stopped when he saw you staring down at him. 

‘Do you really think I stopped loving you?’

He huffed. ‘I’m not having this conversation with you.’

‘Yes, you are.’ You snapped. ‘Answer the question, Poe. Do you really think I stopped loving you?’

‘What’s this?’ He asked, eyes falling onto the piece of paper resting atop the table. 

‘Do you remember a few weeks ago when I went on that mission to Nevarro?’ You asked. 

‘Uh, yeah.’ Poe scratched the back of his hair. ‘That dangerous one.’

‘Yeah, the dangerous one.’ You placed one leg over the bench seat opposite him, dropping down onto the table with a thud. ‘I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it back.’

‘None of us were.’

‘This is a letter I asked Leia to give to you in case I died.’ You slid it across to him. ‘You should give it read.’

‘What are you doing?’ Poe sighed. 

‘I’m proving a point, Dameron.’

‘Yeah, you’ve always been good at that.’ He snatched the letter from you, pulling it open. ‘You just gonna stare at me the whole time that I read this?’

‘Yup.’

Another sigh escaped his lips as he tore it open, eyes briefly scanning the page for a moment. His brow furrowed - was it possible to feel like words were punching you in the throat?

Poe, 

If you’re reading this, it’s either because I’m dead or M.I.A, or you’ve been snooping through Leia’s desk draw in search of that damned Coruscanti candy again. If it’s the latter, put this fucking down. Because it means I’m alive, and I’ll find you and throttle you. If it’s because of the first one, then keep reading, because it means I’m gone. Turns out that I only act immortal. 

I should preface this by saying that I’m sorry. Sorry that we didn’t get to be together again and sorry that I didn’t try harder to make it happen. Please know that it’s what I wanted more than anything. You probably already know it, but I never stopped loving you. I died loving you (hopefully in a bad-ass way) and because death is, rather unfortunately, a permanent state, it means that I’ll love you forever. 

I’m only being bold with my words because I know you won’t be around for me to be embarrassed by how soft you’ve made me, but you’re my best friend. My other half and my whole world. You made me feel safe and loved and by all intents and purposes, you are my home. Whoever ends up getting to marry you - because you will find someone; the galaxy is a large place and there is another person out there who will find your annoying ass to be rather charming - is the luckiest fucking person ever. I’m just sorry that I can’t be there to watch it happen, and even more sorry that it couldn’t be me. 

Love you always, flyboy 

- (name) 

p.s I have a cactus on my window ledge. Can you water it for me? Thanks. 

Poe’s eyes were bleary with tears by the end - at the thought of you dying, at the thought of him being the last person you thought of before you went on that mission. The mission that he’d sent you on, as your Commander. He’d caused you grief without even trying. 

‘That mission was two weeks ago.’ He looked up at you, not even bothering to hide the water in his eyes. ‘You wrote this two weeks ago.’

‘Yeah.’ You quietly murmured. Giving a small nod, you stood up from the table and wiped your own eyes. ‘You should hold onto that.’

‘W-where are you going?’

‘I have work to do.’ You stood up. ‘Goodbye, Poe.’

'For now or forever?’ He tried to force a joke, but it didn’t really work in his favour.

‘You had a point in what you said.’ You replied. ‘We should both move on.’ 

His eyes fell back down to the letter, where a few scrawled words jumped out at him: I’ll love you forever.

Until now, he hadn’t considered the fact that forever was still forever, even when you spent it apart. 

tags: @interwebseriesfan24​ @spider-starry​ @itspdameronthings​ @lifeandloveandhappiness​