#this got longer than i originally planned... oops

[doctornilaybailey]

📜𝙽𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚢 & 𝙰𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚘 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗

After fainting at the museum again, her boss had set their foot down and demanded that she goes to the hospital before taking the rest of the week off to rest. It was annoying, frankly, but her boss wouldn't budge when she tried to argue with her on it. Well... She supposes that this could give her the time to be with her girls and the cats more. And if she felt restless, she could work on getting her next video ready. So as she got into the elevator that would lead her to the floor her doctor was in, she grabbed one of the books she'd been reading for a video she was planning on making from her bag, along with a highlighter and pen. She got to reading, her book covering her face. The elevator had stopped, letting another person in that she nodded at yet didn't look to see who it was, before taking off again.

Unfortunately, the elevator stopped abruptly. Nilay steadying herself against the wall she'd been leaning against, finally looking up with furrowed brows. "Ma koreh?" she asked softly. The anthropologist turned to look at her companion, her lips parting to ask if they knew what was happening, when her entire being froze. Her blood running cold and her heart all but stopping at the sight of Antonio Beltran. "Please, remain calm," a robotic voice over the intercom said. "Help will be with you shortly." And then, the elevator music began to play again. She nodded, looking away from him and at the doors. Well... Suppose this was going to happen, eventually, one way or another. "So..." Clearing her throat, she tried to think: how do you talk to one of the people your partner greatly hurt years ago yet isn't taking the responsibility to make amends? Especially when her last conversation with Roman had gone so smoothly. "If you had to choose a song to replace the elevator music, what would you choose?" It wasn't good, but dammit, she didn't want to stand there in silence until... whenever this situation is fixed.

𓂀 𝚠𝚑𝚘: @tonibeltran

𓂀 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎: 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚋𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕 ; 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚐𝚎

𓂀 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗: 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺

[derrypubliclibrary]

maybe family can be some guy who found a book in a library, his boyfriend who gave away his name and now has a new one, a captain of a ship who was a former bunny, and her lost in time boyfriend. maybe family can also include a collage student who likes to bake and knit and is trying to get smells into VR and a fortune teller who lives in a farm house and throws yearly winter solstice parties. maybe.

[whenthethinking]

its 5 am and im thinkin about life. Emotionally I am a mess, ive been feeling the effects of my broke ass brain more heavily in recent months. But u know what I am so happy with life.

I have a partner that loves me and cares about me, as hard as its been to accept that could ever be possible. It is such a privilege to be my wife’s pet. Getting to wear a collar makes me feel safe and cared for even when she’s so far away. She’s there for me when I fuck up or I feel like a failure, depressed, and dysphoric. She never looks down on me for my struggles and is always willing to help when I need it even if thats saying good girl when I finally send an important email.

Nothing has ever made me as happy as she has, allowing me to live my life this way with her even when its weird and unfamiliar. I love her so much and I want to make her the happiest person in the world 💜

now I sleep :)

[draslihanxfahri-bailey]

📜𝙰𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙵𝚊𝚑𝚛𝚒-𝙱𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚢 & 𝙺𝚊𝚢𝚊 𝙳𝚞𝚋𝚘𝚒𝚜

Ever since the night of the kayak race, it felt as if she was wading through water. Like time no longer existed and if she tried to speed up, the current kept pushing her back, refusing to let her change pace. She tried to continue going about her daily life. Raising the girls was easy still; Keeping up with her Judaism and preparing for Pesach was able to turn her mind off for a few hours; Work was near impossible to concentrate on. It was far easier to return to her conversation with Eli than to pay attention to her work, with preparing for the new wing to be ready, and for the celebration to commemorate it. Fortunately, it was Saturday, and therefore, was Shabbat. No work today; Just Asli bringing Alex and Rhia to the park while Eli... Well, she hoped he was working on finding a way to make things right with Kaya and Roman.

Selfishly, she hoped that he wasn't thinking too much about Harrison. It was unfair, and she knew it. Yet, every time she looked at her boyfriend since that night, she would wonder so much if he was thinking about the man now gone that she would end up forgetting how to breathe. How a pit grew her in stomach and a lump in her throat, how her heart's beat would quicken and her cheeks redden, how there was a piercing sensation behind her eyes that she tried to blink back quickly every time she thought about it.

She was jealous. She was jealous and she knew that she had zero right to be. Though, she wasn't exactly jealous about Harrison being Elijah's first love. No, it wasn't that. But... What ifs are inevitable pertaining to anything and everything in life. And while she knew she had no right to judge Elijah for having his own fair share of what ifs, nor was she judging him, the questions that plagued her mind overwhelmed her. What if he was always thinking about Harrison? What if he was imagining him whenever they were together? What if he sometimes pretended she was him? What if Harrison had still been alive; Would they even be together? If Eli had to choose, would he choose him? Had she been his second choice all this time? Was she still his second choice? After all: how does one compare to a first love who has become a ghost, leaving you with a lifetime of what ifs and questions?

Swallowing down the thick lump in her throat, she kissed the top of Rhia's dark curly hair as the nine month old cuddled up to her. The two sitting on a bench while Alex ran around the park playing. She tried so hard to push back those fears so that she could focus on her daughters; Knowing that they would consume her if she wasn't careful enough. A soft smile graced her lips as she noticed Alex talking with a little blonde girl. "Look, Rhia—your sister's made a new friend!" Her youngest fussed a little, causing the Egyptologist to coo as she readjusted her. "Oh, no, my love; It's okay! It's okay..." With her fingers tracing over her back and her lips pressed against her curls while the baby clung tightly to her. "She's still going to want to play with you, I promise. She still loves you with all her heart. There's nothing to fear." Now, if only the woman could take her own advice.

𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛: 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔, 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚗 ; 𝚊𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟸𝟶𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺 || @kayadubois

[mattyriddlesbitch]

please please write about theodore nott getting caught by the reader touching himself to her. then absolutely wrenching her in the his dorm. overtimulation. squirting. round after round.

This one was a lot longer than I originally planned, oops, lol.

Just One More

Theodore Nott x F!Reader

Warnings: mention of masturbation, oral(female receiving), squirting, overstimulation, forced orgasms, unprotected sex, creampie

18+ Minors DNI

You and Theodore had gotten assigned for a project together for potions and were working on it in his dorm. You had called it for the day, exhausted and ready to rest after the long school day and hours working on this project with Theo.

You weren’t extremely close with the boy, but that didn’t stop his attempts to flirt with you and joke around with you whenever he did see you. And you had to admit, you may have developed a small crush on him. He was hot and flirted with you, what else could you say?

You said ‘goodbye’ and left his dorm, heading to your own. You noticed once you got there that you had left your textbook in his dorm and figured you’d just grab it real quick.

But as you were about to knock on his door, you could hear faint noises inside. After a second of listening, you realized the noises were moans. Did he have a girl over? It was just his moans you could hear so probably not.

“Oh, (Y/N), cara mia. Fuck.” You heard coming from the other side of the door.

‘(Y/N)’ Was he really moaning your name? Holy shit.

Before you even realized it, you were knocking on the door. You could hear a quiet cuss escape his lips and some shuffling with a louder ‘Hold on’ coming from him. After a moment, the door opened, and Theo leaned against the door frame before his eyes widened when he saw it was you, quickly turning his expression into a calm one with a flirty smirk.

“Cara mia. What are you doing here? Didn’t get enough of me?” He asked as he looked you over.

“Uh, I forgot my textbook. Though, it seems like you were the one who didn’t get enough of me.” You said, giving him a sweet, innocent smile.

His smirk fell. “What are you talking about?” He shifted slightly, clearly nervous now.

“I kinda heard you. You moaned my name. I was only gone for a few minutes, it seems like you barely waited after I left to, uh, you know.” You said, tilting your head.

“How long were you outside my door, bella?” He asked.

“Long enough.” You shrugged.

He looked at you for a few seconds, like he was pondering his next move before pulling you into the room and closing the door behind you.

“Seems to me like you were enjoying listening in.” He said as he backed you up to the bed.

“Well, it was more like I was surprised, especially once I heard my name.” Your legs hit the bed and you fell on it.

“So you didn’t like it?” He leaned down, putting his arms on either side of you to trap you on the bed.

“I didn’t say that.”

“If you wanted, I could show you more of those sounds now.” He lowered his head to your ear as he spoke quietly. “I could show you what I was thinking about doing to you that was making me moan like that.”

“Very tempting.” You said back just as quietly as him. “How should we start?”

“How about we start by getting these clothes off?” He said as he leaned back and helped you out of your clothes, a bit quickly and desperately. “Fucking hell, principessa. You’re fucking gorgeous.” He said before leaning back down to pepper kisses along your neck, trailing up before connecting your lips. The kiss was heated and hasty, like he couldn’t get enough. He nestled between your legs, his hands roaming along your skin, feeling everywhere. One hand traveled lower until he made it to your folds, groaning into the kiss when he felt how wet you were. He teased your entrance, enjoying the whine from your throat as he started pushing two fingers in you, swallowing your moans once he started thrusting them in and out of you.

He parted from your lips and went back to your neck, kissing and licking his way down to your chest before giving your nipples some attention. Your moans were loud now that you weren’t being muffled by his lips, your back arching into his mouth as he licked and sucked at one of your nipples before giving the other the same attention.

“Fuck, Theo!” You moaned. Your hands were gripping at the sheets, the neat fabric getting wrinkled in your grasp.

Theo moaned against your nipple in response, flicking his eyes up to your face to watch your reaction. He used his thumb to find your clit, rubbing circles on it as your eyes rolled back from the pleasure. It didn’t take much before your orgasm washed over you, making you cry out his name and have your body trembling.

He moved his body to bring his mouth onto your clit, his fingers never stopping inside you. The pleasure was starting to get overwhelming as you wrapped your fingers in his hair, cries and gasps leaving your mouth as he licked and sucked at your clit.

“Theo, please! ‘S Too much!” You whined, trying to pull away from him. His free hand stopped you, wrapping around your hips to keep you in place. “Shit! Oh my fuck!” You cried out from the overstimulation, the pleasure on the brink of being pain.

He wasn’t stopping, forcing another orgasm out of you as you cried and clawed at his scalp, which only made him hiss. He kept going, though. Any hopes of him slowing down or stopping were gone, all you could do was plead and cry. He worked you to another orgasm, this one nearly making you black out as it hit you.

“Fucking hell, cara mia. That was perfect. I need you to do that again for me.” He said and you raised your head to look at him, noticing the drenched sheets beneath you.

“What?” You asked, still dazed.

“I made you squirt. And you’re gonna do that again for me.” He smiled before leaning back down to lick at your clit again.

You whimpered and clung to his hair again, body fighting on if it wanted more or less from him. His arm around you wouldn’t let you decide anyways since it kept you from squirming further or closer to him. He easily brought you to another orgasm like he already knew your body. He helped you through it, not even minding that you soaked him again in your cum.

He finally let you go, standing up to push down his pants and chuck off his shirt before settling back between your legs, bringing them over his shoulders as he started easing his cock into you. You and him moaned together as he bottomed out, giving you a moment to adjust before beginning to thrust. “You take me so well, cara mia. Holy shit. You feel better than I ever imagined.”

Your mind was already blank from all the previous orgasms, no way you could respond other than with the moans and whimpers that left your mouth from how sensitive you were.

“Just one more for me, bella. Cum on my cock for me and we’ll be done. I just need it. I need to feel it.” He rambled, his hips pounding into yours, desperately trying to get both of you to cum.

With how sensitive you were, your orgasm came quickly, clenching his cock and sobbing. He praised you, wiping your tears as he helped ride out your orgasm.

“Sorry, principessa. Just one more. Please, just one more. I promise that’s it.” He said as he kept slamming into you, overworking your cunt.

“I can’t-I can’t, Theo! I can’t!” You cried.

“Just one more. I promise. Just give me one more. Fuck, you felt so good cumming around me, I just need to feel it one more time.” He said, gently kissing your leg on his shoulder.

He forced you into another orgasm before he finally came, filling your pussy with his cum.

“It’s okay, cara mia. We’re all done. You did so good for me.” He rested your legs on the bed and cupped your face, pressing soft kisses on your face.

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl @brittney-121

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddlesbitch @acornacreacure @opheliamalfoy236

Let me know if you wanna be added!

[alotofpockets]

Down the aisle | Leslie Shay x Firefighter!Reader

Where you and Shay go from girlfriend's to wives

Chicago Fire masterlist | Words: 1.6k

-----

“Kelly Severide, stop laughing at me.” Shay said in frustration. “Why? It’s funny that you have something bad to say about every beautiful ring you see.” Her best friend had been with her in the jewellery store for the past hour, not to mention that it was the fourth jewellery store they had visited in the past week. 

“The ring has to be perfect, Kelly.” He shook his head, “I know, but at this pace there aren’t going to be any rings left in the world. That girl is head over heels for you, and will say yes no matter what ring you pick. “Still I want it to be perfect.” 

They kept looking around at the ring collection this store had until Shay’s eyes fell on the one. “Oh my god, that’s it. That is the ring!” Kelly celebrated quietly behind Shay’s back. He loved his best friend dearly, but was also glad that he would finally be spending his days off somewhere other than in a jewellery store.

For Shay it had been easy to keep her thoughts of wanting to ask for your hand in marriage, but now that she had something physical to do it with, she was anxious you would find out. She had given Kelly the ring for safekeeping, but still she knew that she wouldn’t be able to keep the plan a secret for much longer. So, she changed her original plan a little bit, and decided she was going to ask you on your next date night.

Since you both worked 24 hour shifts at the firehouse, you made sure that you made time for each other on your hours off. One of the things you did to reassure you would have some time set aside was a set date night. It really didn’t matter what you did, the only thing that mattered is that you did it together. 

Today’s date night, you went to the Field Museum of Natural History. They had a dinosaur section, which is exactly why Shay wanted to bring you here. You loved dinosaurs and learning more about them. You thought the museum was amazing, and were running around showing her things like an excited little kid.

When you got back home, you were still talking about the dinosaurs. So much so that you didn’t realise the set up of your living room. Shay looked around, very happy with how her idea had played out. She had asked Kelly and Dawson to set up the “Will you marry me?” sign surrounded by a rose petal heart. It looked absolutely perfect, now you just had to look around. 

The moment that you did, time stood still. You looked at the setup in front of you with your jaw dropped, and eyes widened in surprise. When you turn to look at your girlfriend, she is down on one knee and holds out an open ring box towards you. “Yes, yes, yes!” You say with tears in your eyes. 

“You're not even going to let me ask the question?” She giggles with tears in her own eyes from your excitement. “Oops?” You laugh back. “Please ask me, darling.” 

With a big smile on her face, Shay holds your hand. “You are my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?” 

You're now both full on crying, but in the best way. “Yes, I will definitely marry you!” You fall into her arms and sob happy tears into each other's shoulders. 

The rest of the evening was spent in the comfort of your home and each other's arms. It wasn't until the next day that you told people about your engagement. Shay sent Severide a picture with the text “She said yes!” He congratulated the both of you and invited you for a drink at Molly's.

Of course, you should have expected the whole team to be waiting for you inside of Molly’s as you arrived. All of them yelling out “Surprise!” When you walked through the door. It was nice celebrating this step in your relationship with the people closest to you, the people that had become your family over the years.

The next day where the team was back at work, the room buzzed with energy. Everyone was excited about the engagement, and was asking all kinds of questions about your plans for the wedding. Above all else, they were thrilled that the couple they had seen grow over the years, was taking the next step together.

Your day started off calm, but as soon as that first bell rang, you knew it wouldn’t be stopping any time soon. As you expected, the calls began to pile up, and the intensity grew. A handful of car accidents, a heart attack victim, and a kitchen fire kept you busy in just the morning.

There was just enough time to have some lunch, before the bells rang again. All units were called to respond to the scene, so you knew this was going to be a serious one. 

A multi-story building had caught fire, and people were still trapped inside. You rushed into truck 81 and your team raced to the scene. When you got there you realised just how far gone the building was. Flames were shooting out the windows, and thick dark clouds of smoke hung around the tall frame of the building. 

Without hesitation, you all sprang into action. “Y/l/n, you’re going up with me. The rest help Squad.” You put on your mask and ran inside, following close behind Casey. When you got up to the fire floor, there was no time for second-guessing, you had to go before the building would collapse. 

The heat and the thick smoke combined, made it hard to see anything at all. Yet you kept yelling out, until finally you heard voices respond. A family of four was hiding in the bathroom, as most of the room was engulfed in flames. 

You and Casey worked together to get the trapped family into the hall. You stood in the middle of the room, helping them over the flames, while Casey got them into the hallway. The moment that the family was out in the hallway, the ceiling about you gave way. 

One of the beams came crashing down, and pinned you to the floor. “Go, get downstairs!” Casey shouted to the family. The safest for them was to head down and meet another firefighter there, he didn’t want more of the ceiling to collapse while the family was still there.

“Mayday mayday, firefighter down on the sixth floor.” He radio’s in while he makes his way to you. Seconds after Shay’s voice is heard over the radio. “Casey, is y/n okay?” He doesn’t answer, as he doesn’t know the answer himself yet. 

“Casey, come in.” Boden requested as the line was still quiet from your end. “Getting to her now. The ceiling collapsed and she’s trapped under a beam. She’s conscious, but I need help getting it off of her.”

You were conscious and talking to Casey while he was trying to pull the beam off himself, without any luck. Luckily more people arrived to aid him, very quickly. With many hands, cribbing, and the right tools, they were able to get you out from underneath the weight of the beam quickly. 

When you got outside, one arm over Casey’s shoulders and the other over Severides, you finally felt like you could breathe again. Shay ran into your arms. “Are you okay? Let me check you out, please, I need to make sure that you’re okay.” You lift your arms from the boys and hold onto your fianceé. “I’m okay, just going to be really sore tomorrow.”

“I thought I lost you.” You shake your head. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You joke, but you were well aware of how the situation could have ended. “Life is too short. I don’t want to waste any time.” Shay was quick to chime in, “You don’t have to convince me, let’s get married as fast as we can.”

After a long and exhausting shift, the team got together for a small firehouse wedding. It was just quickly thrown together, but you had all you needed. Your bride and your family surrounding you. 

Severide walked Shay down the makeshift aisle, while you were standing in the doors of the apparatus floor with Casey by your side. He was like a brother to you, so there was not even a question on your mind when Shay asked you who you would want to walk you down the aisle. “Are you ready?” He says as he watches your eyes meet Shay’s. “I’ve never been more ready for something in my life.”

You met Shay between Truck 81 and Ambulance 61, a small touch to give even more meaning to this day. Boden stood between you, who better to officiate your wedding than the man that had been like a father figure to the both of you.

The ceremony, while simple, was perfect. It was a day neither one of you would ever forget. After you had said your I do’s and sealed your marriage with a kiss, you carried Shay inside bridal style. 

While the day may be over, your shift was not. But for now the team would rest, and hope to be recharged enough when the next bell rang. For you the day was perfect, just because you had Shay by your side for the rest of your life.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! 💗

[eirenical]

Done Playing Games (2201 words) by eirenical

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi Characters: Di Feisheng, Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi Additional Tags: Dual Cultivation, Episode Related, Missing Scene, episode 13, Fight Sex, Fighting As Foreplay, First Time, Banter

Summary:

"Di-mengzhu… what are you doing." Di Feisheng worried at the distended meridian beneath his teeth for just one moment more before shifting to nibble at the collarbone just beside it. And as the muscles beneath his hands tensed, prelude to a shift that would send an elbow flying back into his stomach, he stepped back out of reach. "Li Xiangyi, Li Xiangyi… what do you think I'm doing?"

  ...a.k.a. the dual cultivation fic that we all wanted to write when Episode 13 first aired and that I somehow never got around to posting? Oops? ;D

September 6, 2024: OK, so this actually was the first fic I wrote for this fandom. I started it back on July 31st, 2023 and finished it not long after. It wasn't the first fic I posted, though, because my original plan for it was for it to be much much longer than this one scene. But since then, my ideas on whether or not dual cultivation would actually work to solve LLH's poison problem have shifted dramatically and I don't think I can write more of this as it is. But I'm still proud of this little part of it and I think it can stand alone, so I'm just going to go ahead and publish it. ...enjoy? ;D

My original reaction when I hit this episode is still amusing to me, so feel free to visit. ;D

[homerforsure]

TL;DR: it's not my ship, but they were done dirty

I always always always come back to that weird little reveal that when they were first floating the idea to bring Tommy back, they said it was to do a storyline with Eddie and it got switched to Buck because it was too weird or tricky to have them both break up with their LIs offscreen but only one actress could come back.

Because a stepping stone relationship makes perfect sense for Eddie. Something short and intense with angst and softness for him to get to this moment of letting himself feel joy and to taste how truly good it can be. He didn't need an endgame relationship right now. He did need to have his "first."

Buck didn't need that. Buck is absolutely ready for his forever and he has been for a while and giving him the "inviting Natalia to move in and then catching his own bad habit for once and backing out" would have been great.

But that didn't happen. Instead Eddie had to sit like a hot dog on one of those rolling warmers for a season while Buck started the queer dominos falling (and I admit this is a little bit from a Buddie endgame perspective because it doesn't feel to me like the show was deciding to explore the a character's sexuality just for exploratory purposes and I'm willing to admit I have a blind spot here.)

And honestly I think the fact that Oliver cares so much about Buck and telling this story well both for the character and everyone who sees himself in him and that Lou met that energy turned the storyline and the relationship into a more beautiful beginning than it would have been in the hands of other actors.

Which gave the show it's next problem. Because we can all see that Buck is ready for his forever love and you introduced a new love interest and then instead of sticking to a few episodes of awakening and moving on, I think they saw that people were starving for it and latched onto it and Tommy harder than they expected. So it's an easy thing to do to milk that for a little bit longer, but it was absolutely the wrong choice because people got invested in a way they wouldn't have if this had ended after the original number of episodes we expected.

And Buck and Tommy worked! I think you can nitpick relationship things if you weren't that into it and write a breakup narrative using those seeds, but their puzzle pieces absolutely fit together. So much so that they definitely had forever after potential that everyone could see and a lot of people were excited about and investing in and oops wait that wasn't the plan.

So what do you do? You either abandon the plan and embrace the accidental beauty that you discovered and let it ride or you write your way out of it. Give them some hurdles, some angst. Give them a tear-jerking breakup that respects what you built and the viewers who are invested in it and slowly work your way back to where you wanted to be.

They didn't write their way out of it.

And I so don't want to believe that after the work the actors put in and the viewer feedback that they were still viewing the relationship as a placeholder ready to be yeeted once Eddie's arc got back in position again, but I'm not sure what the alternatives are?

Either it's being talked about that this is the last season and so if they're really doing buddie then it's now or never? Or actually the internet is not a valid reflection of the viewership as a whole and someone from on high said the plug should be pulled?

Or the storyline was stumbled into and fumbled around from the beginning and never treated with as much care by the people in charge of it as it was by the people who loved it.

IDK it's just messy messy storytelling and I say that as someone who is not a multishipper but who does value a good story and a good narrative. They let the relationship go on for too long to end it so abruptly. If there was going to be a breakup, there was a better one to be had and it doesn't make me feel good that my preferred happy ending could come from one that breaks the heart of so many of my friends. And if it isn't in the service of a bigger, already in motion endgame, literally what the fuck?

[thomthomp]

TADC Jax Cosplay Process and Con Experience !

Hello !! Thought I'd post a little journal/process thing for a Jax cosplay I've done recently! I wouldn't call this a step-by-step tutorial as many of this was trial and error, along with much improvisation (I also didnt plan on doing this so there are few actual process images haha). This was a lot of fun and I hope someone can get something out of this !

MAKING THE OVERALLS

So as this was my first time sewing anything, a couple blunders were made. First I definitely shoulda bought this fabric a metre longer than i did. As a result after cutting it in half to create the two sides, I realised it was gonna be way too short going up the chest. So after sewing the two sides together I ended up with some oversized clown pants, that also happened to be super skinny in the legs as I may have eyballed cutting the inseam lol. Drop crotch realness was in full effect.

I followed this tutorial on how to make the base of my overalls, her very "eh, let's go for it" attitude was massively helpful in making this first sewing attempt less daunting

So...with limited fabric and with no immediate desire to buy another metre from Hobbycraft, I knew there was only one thing to do...

And that was slapping some leftover scrap on top lol. After that all I had to do was sew the straps on both sides and I had some (just about) wearable, non-adjustable overalls ! The colour is different as I had dyed it in Rit Dyemore super pink after sewing.

Now because I was adding this extra scrap on top after sewing the base, I wasnt able to do flat measurements to see if this scrap would actually go all the way around. Rather than taking more time to properly pin the two parts together and getting a proper look. My impatient brain said %$!# no and just pinned parts of it as i sewed, making it less finicky, but not realising that the scrap was too short. Luckily, pulling that empty space together and sewing it resulted in a fit that was almost perfect for my body, as i wanted it to be form fitting anyway. So remember kids, being impatient works out every time :)

The last details I had to do (other than hot glueing some yellow foam buttons to the straps) was add the chest patch and inside leg sleeves at the bottom. Using the original colour fabric was perfect for these two parts (I swear it looks pinker irl). For the chest patch I just folded some scrap together and top stiched around the edges, leaving the top edge open as convenient phone/card storage for Con. I didn't trust myself to not bind the back and front of the overalls together while sewing it on, so I just used hot glue and slapped in on there. The leg sleeves were even easier, sewing some more scrap around then binding the exposed edges with hot glue.

MAKING THE HEAD

So I had no idea how the head was gonna turn out, my only cosplay head experience prior was my first attempt at Jax last October of which I used painted foam card. Minecraft lookin ass

I knew going in that I wanted to do it fursuit head style, starting with a foam bucket helmet and hot glueing extra foam to the sides to create the skeleton of the head. Goated foam head tutorial by Skyehigh Studios was used for this

Attaching some half moon foam cut outs to each side of the head, doubling them up for stronger support, then adding some shorter half moons next to each eye hole, I was able to get the oval shape that jax has going on.

I measured around the head between the two half moon cuts on each side, then hot glued two pieces of fleece fabric on the front and back. For UK peeps I'd reccommend poundfabrics.co.uk, really affordable and arrived super quick, which was good since i left buying the fleece about a week before con (oops)

Now here's where I probably shoulda done more pre-measurements and sewed the top part of the fleece on with the side parts, so I could simply slip the thing on the foam skeleton like a beanie. Well, caveman brain got the better of me and just hot glued the underside of the fleece parts together. It was uneven, several holes remained and I burned my fingers, but gosh darn was that there three fleece patches glued together on them there.

Finally, at 2am the night before con I added the ears. I was initially concerned as I had underestimated how the weight of the foam would react to flopping around on the head, which made for some vry droopy ears. To make em more straight, but still keep the flop, I stuck some large cocktail sticks I had lying around about half way up the ears. This still allowed for flop behaviour, but stayed mostly upright while wearing them. After wrapping the fleece around and hotglueing them down in two gaps I had made, the head was officially done !

MAKING THE TOP

For my first time making a top, I followed this Youtube tutorial that went the most simple route I could find, taking one of my long sleeve tops, leaving about 1 cm seam allowance and cutting out two parts each for the top and sleeves.

So, as I was still getting used to using a sewing machine, I had managed to jam the needle multiple times when sewing together the base of the top, ruining almost all the spare needles I had. Upon viewing a tutorial on how not to jam your machine, I realised I had been doing the first three points she made, consistently lol. In the moment and since it was the last day, I didnt want to take risks and simply hotglued that bad boy down.

CON EXPERIENCE

So embarking to the first day of MCM London I immediately realised how awkward the overalls were gonna be to wear, I had to wear them as high and tight as i could otherwise it was gonna look like I had comically short legs. This meant that the thigh area was gonna be fairly uncomfortable when moving and would have to take the straps off and shift everything down if I wanted to sit. Aaaaaand about an hour into the first day, the enevitable rip occurred

Thankfully the rip was probably in the most inconspictuous place possible so i didn't really care lol. But any other fears of more rips, or the ears giving out in the wind were nonexistent with the great time I had meeting people. A big highlight was the very first person who came up to me who was actively looking for digital circus cosplays and HAD CUSTOM POKEMON CARDS THEY WERE GIVING OUT TO THEM.

So cute, made my day T_T, shoutouts to milskellyfox for the card. So yeah met a ton of cool people and everything held together for the whole 3 days, including the ears which I was most spooked about lol. Can't wait to start work on the next costumes for October's Comic-Con!

[forjongseong]

enchule // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (part 11.5 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; profanity; oral sex (m. receiving); fingering; unprotected sex; rough handling; Jay got too carried away :( // wc: ~8.5k (I also got carried away)

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 - la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos part 9 - al caer la noche minisode part 6 - after last night part 9.5 - the way you look tonight part 10 - mon soleil minisode part 7 - daylight minisode part 8 - subside minisode part 9 - your princess, my queen part 11 - qué bonito

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: Jay had taken you to Greece for your birthday, so you decided to take him to Australia for his.

author’s notes: welcome to part 11.5! this one is 3k words longer than the original half episodes. (oops)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, JAY! my one and only, my sun and stars, the moon of my life, the air that I breathe, and my reason to wake up every morning... initially I planned on releasing this special .5 part right on his birthday, but a lot of things happened, and I kept getting creatively cockblocked for some reason, so here we are 5 or 6 days later with a half episode that, hopefully, with its length, can quench the thirst for you readers (my dear carmesimps) out there.

after the love I received in part 11, I hope this part also suffices! warning: don't forget to regulate your breathing and stay hydrated because the smut scenes here are hot...ter than usual, if I can say so myself...

behold! the song title for this part:

will you just look at the lyrics???

I don't know what happened that my mouth liked it when I stole a kiss from you it was just a game that got out of control, the rules were broken now your name doesn't leave my mind if you want to repeat it, I remember where Baby, I show up even if it's far I feel despair if I don't see you

tell me that's not Jay?????? literally???

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @jayked @end-hyphen @nyanggk @yoursjaeyun @maggstar @bucketofhiros @dimplejaehyuncutie @excusememissiloveyou @shinkenprincess-oh @mochimchimo @jongseonglogy

(send an ask if you want to be added)

From the corner of your eye, you spotted a figure walking towards you steadily, and when he arrived right in front of you, you recognized the pair of shoes and immediately looked up.

“Remind me again why Jake is tagging along for our honeymoon?” Jay asked as he held a cardboard cup holder filled with three different drinks.

“Oh, thanks, mate,” Jake said, reaching out for his iced americano. The force of his hands almost tipped the whole cup holder, so you calmly held it in place by supporting the bottom with one hand.

“Sorry, Noona,” Jake continued. It seemed like he did not hear Jay’s complaint and was merely happy that his beverage order had arrived.

Jay sighed as he took his seat beside you, letting you hold both his drink and yours. He melted to your side and rested his head on your shoulder, to which you softly chuckled and patted his cheek with your free hand.

“This isn’t our honeymoon, it’s your birthday trip,” you explained. “We’re only gone for six days, and I want our actual honeymoon to last at least two weeks.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Jay muttered. “Do you think the company will be fine without the both of us? For fourteen business days?”

You shrugged and it made Jay’s head shake in place. “We probably need several meetings before we leave and during the honeymoon, I’ll have to check in once in a while.”

“That seems unfair. I don’t want you distracted during our honeymoon,” Jay said, pouting.

“Then I shouldn’t have married my secretary, don’t you think?” You brought your hand up and squished Jay’s cheeks, forcing him to pout his lips even more.

“If you need help and if you have a vacant position, you can hire me, Noona,” Jake chimed in, nudging your left elbow.

“You say that, yet you’re here with us,” Jay commented. “It’s because the destination is Brisbane, isn’t it?”

“Bingo,” Jake replied.

“Exactly,” you said at the same time.

Then both you and Jake snorted at the same time, and it made Jay wonder if the two of you were actually siblings.

When Jake told you a couple of weeks ago that he was going to visit his brother’s family in Brisbane, you immediately asked him a thousand questions about his plan—when he’s leaving, how long he’s staying, whether you should go and visit Brisbane with him, all the sorts. It took you a minute to realize Jay was staring at you the whole time, with a disapproving look, almost like he was hurt that you had forgotten his existence.

You found a less packed week that overlapped with Jay’s birthday, so without even asking if he approved, you cleared out both your schedules and planned your trip ahead, only notifying him three days before your flight so he would have enough time to pack. On the one hand, he was happy that you surprised him this time with a trip. On the other hand, he wished you had told him at least a week before, so he could participate in planning too.

“Just to be clear,” Jay began, clearing his throat. “You’re not tagging along for the whole time, right? Like we’re not gonna see you every day?”

“Of course not,” Jake answered. “But I’ll be on standby whenever Y/N Noona needs a tour guide. I can ask my brother for recommendations.”

“If it’s a city she grew up in, I bet she’ll be a good enough tour guide, but thanks anyways,” Jay said as he took a sip of his iced tea.

“You two speak as if I’m not sitting in between.” You shook your shoulder once and Jay immediately straightened up. “I think we’re boarding soon.”

The two guys redirected their attention to the gate, and as the staff made the announcement, the three of you stood up at the same time, gathering your belongings.

“Noona,” Jake leaned into you. “Thanks for the upgrade to business class.”

“Thank me too, the fuck,” Jay groaned, stretching his arms to the side. “It’s my birthday trip, remember?”

“Can you two stop bickering so I don’t feel like a nanny on duty?” You complained, staring at Jake and then Jay.

“Yes, Ma’am,” the two said in unison.

---

You had made the mistake of posting your trip on your private Instagram stories, and around the same time, your auntie—who was not really your aunt, just an old friend of your parents—replied to your post and demanded you come to see her. She even sent her husband to pick you up at your hotel, and you were too flustered and too polite to refuse.

Luckily, Jay is a natural at initiating conversations with new people. He offered to sit beside the driver, which was your auntie’s husband, Tim, and they began talking about the most random things regarding living in Australia, particularly Gold Coast. As the car drove along the more crowded streets, Tim explained a lot about the important places like he was a paid tour guide. It gave you enough time to respond to your family group chat, updating them about your trip.

“Are the boys not here, Auntie Nina?” You asked, looking around the room and noticing how quiet it felt.

Jay sat beside you at the dining table while you watched Tim and Nina prepare drinks and snacks. Jay leaned to whisper to you.

“Auntie Nina only has sons?”

“Three.”

“They’re all busy with work and college. My youngest is getting his master’s,” Nina smiled, walking towards the table, and placing a pitcher of iced tea and four clear glasses in the center.

“That’s wonderful,” Jay responded. “I bet he’s good in school too, huh?”

And just like that the conversation flowed naturally again. You updated them about your parents and told them a little bit about your work, and once they learned that Jay works for you, they both asked how you two met. You eyed Jay, who then tilted his chin to let you tell your version of the story, so of course, you did and had to censor some parts. Particularly the kiss in your office.

“He was just paying so much attention to me that I couldn’t help but notice him too,” you finished, tracing your finger on the outline of your glass. “I think I got lucky.”

“You’re gonna make me cry right here,” Jay said, stifling a sob.

Tim and Nina laughed at Jay, who literally had his lips quivering, and you brought your hands up to cup his face and comfort him, pouting at his cuteness. The rest of the night went by in a flash, with a delicious dinner prepared by Nina and a safe ride back to the hotel with Tim.

---

“I had a lot of fun today,” Jay said, making himself comfortable on the sofa, lying behind you.

You changed the channel on the TV, searching for a good movie. You felt like watching cable in hotels was somewhat a nostalgic activity, and you also found it quite therapeutic to just have the TV on while you keep yourself busy.

“I’m glad you did,” you replied as you placed your hand over his arm, which was now wrapped around your waist. “Jake is going to take us to the beach tomorrow.”

“I love that,” Jay muttered, kissing your shoulder. “Thank you for planning everything, babe.”

“It’s about time I return the favor.” You closed your eyes for a minute before turning your head slightly to your right, inhaling his scent. “You smell good.”

“Must be because I showered,” Jay replied nonchalantly. “You smell good too,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“Well, I haven’t showered yet, so I don’t know what you’re on.”

“I love the way you smell when you’re sweaty,” he said, tracing his finger along your shoulder and down your arm. “Reminds me of something in particular.”

You sighed heavily before you chuckled, feeling Jay’s fingers tickling your waist. “We’re not going to watch this movie, are we?” You asked.

Jay shrugged. “We can try.”

You exhaled in defeat and Jay chuckled lowly, placing his lips on the back of your shoulder, and staying there for a while. Your eyes focused on the TV and your fingers started stroking his arm that was wrapped around your chest. After a while, Jay settled into a more comfortable position, resting his head on a stack of pillows higher than yours so he could watch the movie too.

“Jay,” you called. He hummed and squeezed your waist. “After we go to the beach tomorrow, will you come with me to—”

“Yes,” he interrupted.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“You don’t have to. ‘With me’ was all I needed to hear. I’ll go with you anywhere.”

Jay’s voice was close to your ear, and when he finished speaking you felt like you were covered in a soft and warm blanket. You smiled to yourself before bringing his hand up for you to kiss. You then carefully turned around to face him, still lying down on the sofa, and he pulled you closer to him to keep you from falling off.

“I’m so lucky,” you whispered, tracing your fingers along his jawline.

He smiled widely and your mouth mimicked his expression.

“I’m glad the feeling’s mutual,” he said, before leaving a chaste kiss on your lips.

---

Jake’s eyes widened in wonder as he observed you and Jay belting notes to Yuuri’s Shutter, which was on the playlist that you chose for the drive. Jay insisted on driving, since Jake’s brother was kind enough to lend you all his car and because Jake was not confident enough to be the man behind the wheel. Naturally, you rode shotgun and did your best to navigate the map and handle the choice of songs.

The song reached its bridge and climax, and Jake giggled at the way you and Jay both inhaled dramatically before hitting the final chorus which had a key change. The whole performance became even more dramatic with the wind blowing through the open windows, and you had to push your sunglasses up to wear as a headband to keep your hair from flying all over the place.

You heard the sound of Jake clapping from the backseat, and you turned around and looked at him in confusion. Jake grinned at you.

“Was that a sad song? It sounded sad,” Jake spoke, eyeing the screen that showed the playlist. “You both sound devastated.”

You snorted and Jay shook his head. “It’s Yuuri! What do you expect?” He protested, carefully bringing the car to a stop.

Several people crossed the street, and you quietly observed them. Jay tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and adjusted the volume of the speakers.

“And since when do you speak Japanese, Noona?” Jake asked, poking his head through the gap between you and Jay at the same time the light turned green.

“I don’t?” You said, slightly confused.

“She just has the lyrics memorized,” Jay explained. You nodded in agreement.

You proceeded to play more of Yuuri’s songs and Jake happily bobbed his head while listening to them until you all arrived at Surfer’s Paradise. It took a while to find a close enough parking spot, but when you did, you and Jake instantly turned into kids.

“Oh my God,” you gasped, watching the soft waves coming up the sand. “I’ve been wanting to come back here for ages.”

Jake jogged towards you and his hair moved up and down. “Noona! Race you to the water.”

“Aaaaaah!!!”

Jay was startled at the way you and Jake both shrieked and laughed uncontrollably as you made your way to the shore. Jake almost tripped and lost balance, and you had to stop and squat to laugh properly. You then crawled your way on the sand, only to stand up and catch up to Jake as soon as his feet hit the water.

When you turned around, you saw Jay holding up his phone, recording everything. There were wrinkles on the corners of his eyes from the way he was smiling, and it seemed like he was trying not to laugh to prevent the phone from shaking too much. Jake caught your attention by slightly splashing you with the salt water, and you flinched before you chased him down.

“I won! I won!” Jake shouted, flapping his hands around to counter your attacks. You were flinging your arms in hopes that it would hit him.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Jay raised his voice, putting his phone back in his pocket before walking towards you. “Don’t tire her.”

Jake furrowed but at the same time you started coughing, and in between coughs you explained to him that laughing and running, or talking and walking up the stairs at the same time, was one of your asthma triggers. He immediately felt bad, and he hesitantly patted your back gently as you tried to control your breathing.

“Sorry, Noona,” Jake said before eyeing Jay cautiously. “We can just sit down and chill now.”

Jay was about to nudge Jake, but you stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“I’m fine!” You insisted as you watched Jay unfold a picnic mat. The two of them waited for you to sit before taking their places beside you.

“How do you like Brisbane and Gold Coast so far, mate?” Jake asked, peering over you to look at Jay.

You smiled and lay down completely, and Jay looked at you for a split second before answering.

“I get why you two are attached to this city,” Jay replied. “It’s the perfect balance between quiet and crowded.”

“Exactly,” you chimed in, squinting your eyes to avoid the sun.

Jake continued the conversation while Jay took out cans of soda and packs of sandwiches to munch on. Whenever you started to giggle, Jay was quick to pull you up back to your sitting position, and Jake also put his hand on your back out of reflex. The three of you ended up talking about a lot of things even long after you finished your snacks, and if it weren’t for Jake checking the time, you all would have stayed even longer.

“I need to take my hyung’s car back, but before that, I can drive you guys to the hotel?” Jake offered, dusting his pants from the sand as he stood up first.

Jay looked at you and you looked back at Jake. “I actually need to drop by a friend’s home and then the pharmacy. It’s fine, we can take the train.”

“Are you sure?” Jake asked, more towards Jay than to you.

Jay nodded. “Say hi to your brother for us,” he said.

“Alright then,” Jake responded. “I’ll text you again later.”

On the train ride to your friend’s house, you fell asleep on Jay’s shoulder, and he was determined to stay awake and alert, taking over the navigating duty that was supposed to be yours. Initially, you did not want to stay for longer than an hour at your friend’s, but she and her husband insisted, and Jay was more than happy to chat more with the new people he just befriended. Before going back to the hotel, you made a stop at the local drugstore and went through a list of products that your mother had asked for.

You both arrived at the hotel later than planned and by then you were exhausted. As you were taking off your makeup, Jay leaned back on the wall beside the bathroom door, looking at you.

“Can I help you?” You asked as you realized he wasn’t going to stop staring.

Jay chuckled before putting his hands in his pockets. “Just waiting for the bathtub to fill up. What? I’m not allowed to stare at my wife?”

You smiled softly and held a cotton pad over your eyelids. “So for tomorrow, I don’t have anything grand planned. We’re just gonna stay here and go for a walk if you’d like. But then the day after that is your birthday, so you get to choose whatever you want to do.”

“Really?” Jay replied, his eyes lighting up. “Great, then I can use some time tomorrow to look up stuff to do.”

“Mm-hm.” You wiped off the residue on your face before stretching out your arms. “Are you going to take a bath now?”

“Do you wanna join me?” Jay asked as he took a couple steps towards you.

“I’m…” you paused to look at your reflection, “I’m really tired, actually.”

Jay placed his hands on your shoulders and started rubbing you gently. “That’s my point. I’ll give you a massage. Come on.”

“You know I should be the one pampering you, right?” You looked at Jay through the reflection.

He brought his hands to cup your chin and tilted your head upwards before planting a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s not my birthday yet. Just come relax with me, okay?”

There was no way you could refuse your husband, especially when he was asking so politely.

“Just a bath,” you demanded as you stood up. “Nothing more.”

Jay chuckled, but then you gave him a sharp stare and he nodded. “Nothing more,” he said, clearing his throat. He then took one step back. “After you, my love.”

---

You slowly opened your eyes and found yourself staring at the dark. When you turned your head to the right, you noticed the faint light from the sun rising outside, and you guessed that it was still way too early in the morning to be doing anything. A second later, you remembered that you had a horrible dream where you got lost in a maze, and you called for Jay, but he never appeared.

To your relief, when you turned to Jay’s side you found him there, still fast asleep. You took a deep breath before bringing your hand up to caress his face, also brushing his hair back in the process. His breath was steady, despite his eyebrows forming a frown, and you stroked his cheek before you leaned in to kiss him.

Your kiss woke him up. He stirred before he opened his eyes, and you melted right beside him, grabbing both his hands and holding them tight between yours.

“Hey,” he greeted you, his voice croaked. “Good morning.”

“Morning, baby,” you whispered, placing his palm under your cheek, and resting your head back on the pillow.

He moved his thumb across your cheek before clearing his throat. “Is everything okay?”

You nodded, and Jay shot you a tired smile. You snuggled closer to him, caging yourself in his arms and moving close enough until you could touch your lips to his neck. His arms wrapped around your waist naturally, and when you kissed his chin he chuckled, squeezing you gently.

You moved your hand to his arm and squeezed him there, and with that, he looked down at you with his eyes only half open. You tilted your head slightly, bumping your nose to his chin before you carefully grazed your lips over his. You felt his lips slowly part, and that’s when you dived in for a passionate kiss.

Holding his face close to yours and letting him press your body onto his, you kissed him deeply. You felt his tongue swipe across your bottom lip, and as you opened your mouth you moaned when you felt his tongue tug against yours. You stopped for a split second only to catch your breath before you kissed him again, your leg thrown over his waist, latching your hip onto his.

Jay’s hands traveled underneath your camisole, bunching up the fabric until his palms were the only thing keeping your back warm. He stroked your back softly and ran his fingers down your waist and to your hips as he continued to lock lips with you. For a moment, the sound of your lips smacking was the only thing you could hear, aside from the soft sound of the clock on the wall ticking.

“I want to try something,” you confessed, pulling away only to find a strand of saliva connecting your lips and his.

Jay leaned in for one last kiss before he replied. “What is it?”

As much as you wanted to stay in his arms, to feel his hands run through your hair and along your back, you wanted to pamper him. You wanted him to feel more pleasure, so you had to fight yourself from staying in place.

“Just a second,” you whispered before pushing yourself away from him. His arms stayed there for a while as he watched you take off your top and sit straight, leaning against the headboard. “Come sit between my legs,” you demanded.

Jay’s eyes squinted in confusion, but his body was quick to react. He shuffled out of the covers to go to you, but before he could settle, you clicked your tongue.

“I want you naked, though.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

His tone of enthusiasm, in contrast with his messy bed hair, made you chuckle. He got undressed in seconds, and you reached out your arms when he made his way between your legs, resting his back against your chest.

“Oh,” he sighed, “this feels good.”

“I haven’t even started.”

“No, I know,” Jay rested his head on your right shoulder. “I just know it’s gonna be good.”

You had to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes, so you grabbed his chin and pressed your lips roughly against his, earning a light chuckle from him.

“Just relax, okay?” You mumbled against his lips.

“Are you comfortable? I don’t want to be leaning or pressing too hard on you,�� Jay said, his eyes flickered from your lips to your chest.

Unbelievable, you thought. On the verge of receiving pleasure, he was still thinking of you.

“I’m fine, baby, thank you,” you replied, kissing his temple. Jay then relaxed and placed his hands on your thighs.

You began caressing his chest, trailing your fingers from his nipples, down to his abs and the v-line that always drives you crazy. You noticed his breath hitched once he saw your hands moving downwards, and you had to press your lips to his ear to give him reassurance.

“Relax,” you whispered.

You reached for his penis with your left hand, bringing your right hand back up to his nipple to pinch and play with it in hopes that it will get him hard fast. He flinched before he relaxed in your touch, occasionally whimpering when he felt that you were pinching too hard. Your hand moved up and down his shaft, continuing the motion until you felt him gradually harden in between your fingers.

“There he is,” you chuckled softly, lips grazing his earlobe. “A good morning to you, Sir.”

At this point, Jay was moaning at your every touch, and he even shifted in his seat once he felt your lips pressed against his neck. You began sucking softly, determined to make him feel enough pleasure but without leaving a noticeable mark. You continued kissing him down his shoulder while stroking his cock, which was now fully erect.

“Show me how you like it,” you requested. “Use your hands and show me.”

“What?” Jay asked, confused. He didn’t realize that his breath had become heavier. “But I’ve barely touched myself since we started—”

“I know,” you responded. You kissed his neck again for reassurance and he sighed contentedly. “I just want to see how you used to pleasure yourself.”

You had moved your hands up to his biceps and you were stroking him there. With one squeeze, he began palming himself with one hand as he adjusted his position between your legs. You observed quietly as you paid close attention to the motion of his hands—the way he took long strokes from top to bottom, the way he ends each stroke with a slight squeeze towards the tip, the way his head fell back when he increased the speed. You noticed how he was almost panting like it was too much and he was trying to hold back.

“I don’t… Do you… Should I do this until I cum?”

The uncertainty in his voice and the submissive nature of it made you fall for him more, as if that was even possible. You nodded and gently nudged the side of his head with yours.

“You can cum if you want, baby.”

“But,” Jay paused before he opened his eyes and looked at you. “I want you to make me cum.”

And how could you refuse?

“Okay,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “Do you want my hands?” You kissed him again. “Or my mouth?” You kissed his jawline. “Or do you want my pussy?” You kissed his earlobe.

You could basically feel Jay shiver under your touch before he answered you, only after taking a considerable amount of time to decide.

“Your… mouth,” Jay muttered. “Can I?”

“Of course.”

You stretched out your legs and moved from behind Jay, making him rest his back against the headboard. He leaned comfortably after you placed a couple of pillows behind his back, and once he was set you crawled your way downwards, taking your position this time between his legs.

The sight of you on all fours with your ass up and your head over his crotch made him groan. You saw his cock twitch and decided to put him out of his misery. He had been a good boy, after all, listening to your requests and delivering, so you kissed the tip of his cock before putting it into your mouth.

You almost gagged from the way his length quickly filled up your mouth, and you could hear him shudder from the single move. You began bobbing your head up and down, coating his shaft with your saliva, and you felt his fingers very carefully brush your hair away from your face before bunching them up into a ponytail. He kept holding your hair as you continued your ministrations, and every whimper or moan that you heard from him served as your sole motivation.

You tried taking his whole length in, and you felt your jaw stretch a little too wide. The pause in your movements made him concerned, so he tried his best to comfort you by reaching out for your hand. You took his hand in yours, and you continued to suck him, alternating between kisses and kitten licks too.

“I’m c-close,” Jay whimpered. His body was shaking involuntarily, and you were secretly proud of yourself that you were able to make him feel this way.

You pulled your lips away from his cock with a pop, and you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand before you spoke. “You can cum in my mouth, baby.”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You hummed and quickly put his length in between your lips again. You heard him mutter several curse words as you continued, and when you felt his hips start to thrust upwards, you held him in place by gripping his waist. The grip of his hand that was holding your hair up began to loosen, and after one last suck, you felt him release in your mouth. You were lucky you braced yourself, otherwise it would have ended in a choking mess.

You couldn’t take all of his cum, so when you pulled away some of it was dripping down your chin. You swallowed the rest, though, and when you looked at him, he was looking back at you in awe.

“It’s not my birthday yet, is it?” He asked, breathless.

You wiped your bottom lip with your thumb as you chuckled, and you shook your head as you made your way up to him, straddling him in the process.

“Fuck. Thank you for that,” Jay said as soon as your face was level with his. “Kiss me.”

“You sure?” You halted, hovering over his body before he pulled you in by the neck, licking your lips clean and kissing you feverishly.

“Wait,” he said all of a sudden, pulling back. You frowned. “Your turn.”

He placed his hands on your hips and slammed you down on his crotch, earning a surprised yelp from you. You then chuckled and he did the same, kissing you only after you relaxed on top of him.

“If you keep kissing me like this, I think I can cum,” you whispered against his lips.

“Is that a challenge?” Jay taunted, his fingers moving down to push your panties to the side. “If it is, get ready.”

You moaned into his mouth as soon as you felt his fingers graze your folds. With just one touch, you were already shaking from pleasure, and it didn’t help that he was nibbling your lips and kissing you like oxygen was only coming out of your mouth. He inserted one finger, and then two, and when he put in his third finger you gasped for air, unlatching your mouth from his.

“Jay,” you panted. “It’s too much.”

You felt his fingers curl inside of you and you whimpered, your body shaking as your head fell to his shoulder. You rested your forehead there as support, and you were grabbing his arms for dear life.

“Jay,” you whined helplessly.

“Oh, come on, baby,” Jay spoke right into your ear. Somehow you could hear him smirk. “You always take my dick so well. Surely, three fingers are nothing?”

You moaned again as he began moving his fingers in and out of you faster, and although you had already lost track of time, you knew that it took you less time to cum compared to him. Within a minute you were already a shaking, moaning mess on his lap, and you couldn’t even complain when you heard him chuckle proudly, his chest moving against yours during the process.

Jay’s fingers slipped out of you and as he brought them up to his face, you could see the way they were coated with your cum. But then he swiped his index finger over your lips, as if applying lip balm, before taking all three fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean.

“You’re fucking crazy,” you sighed, one hand latched onto his shoulder and your head resting against the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and your body moved with his.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

---

You walked out of the bedroom and into the living room all dressed up and covered in a light coat, and when Jay noticed you, he had to do a double take, completely abandoning his attention over his phone.

“Where are you going?” He asked, quickly eyeing your outfit from head to toe.

“I just need to pick up something from the lobby,” you said, waving your hand to emphasize that it wasn’t something of his concern.

“You’ll be back soon, right?” Jay asked again, sounding slightly worried.

You nodded. “Of course, I will, baby.”

You blew Jay a flying kiss and he made smooching faces back at you before you headed out the door. Jay then picked up his phone and continued his search for must-do activities that might fit into your schedule tomorrow. He must have been completely immersed because the next thing he knew you were already back, while he felt like you left only two minutes ago. You were holding a suspicious box, and you smiled as you made your way to the coffee table in front of the sofa Jay was sitting on.

“Now I know your birthday is tomorrow, but I figured we could get the cake a day early and eat it when the clock strikes midnight or something,” you explained without waiting for him to ask. “That is, of course, if you want to.”

Jay had never heard you sound so unsure, or were you being nervous? Either way, he found you absolutely adorable, and he smiled widely as he put away his phone and leaned in.

“What cake is it?” He asked.

“Chocolate,” you replied. You saw him raise an eyebrow. “Your favorite. The expensive kind.”

Jay chuckled lightly and shook his head. You excused yourself to put the cake in the fridge and you trotted back to your original spot, standing in front of the TV. Jay looked up at you in question, tilting his head, while you took a deep breath.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you muttered to yourself while at the same time checking that it was two hours left until Jay’s big day.

“What is happening?” Jay said, his tone curious.

You sighed, taking your phone out and setting the volume to the max before choosing a song that definitely sounded seductive. You placed your phone on the table and began undoing the belt of your coat.

“Mr. Park Jongseong,” you spoke. “This dance is for you.”

You began moving your hips to the beat of the song and Jay’s jaw dropped. As you pulled the belt off and tugged the coat down, it pooled to the floor and revealed the tightest dress you have ever worn wrapped around your body.

“Oh my God,” Jay said under his breath.

The dress, colored in Jay’s favorite shade of green, hugged your curves in all the right places. The spaghetti straps were barely holding it over your chest, and you were fully aware that Jay was already looking at your protruding nipples. You lifted your leg to take off your shoes, and the tight skirt of the dress rode up your thigh. Jay licked his lips and leaned back on the sofa, amused and obviously ready for whatever you had prepared for him.

You continued to sway slowly, trying your best to keep your moves subtle and in sync with the music. You made a gesture of hugging yourself, and in the process, one of the straps slid down your shoulder. You heard Jay take a deep breath, and you looked at him as you pulled the other strap down before taking a step closer to him.

“Y/N,” Jay muttered, adjusting his position on the sofa. It was clear that your little dance was making him hot and bothered, exactly how you wanted him to be.

Very carefully, you kneeled on the floor, feeling the softness of the rug brush against your knees. You reached for Jay’s hand, which was resting on top of his thigh, and tugged on it slightly just to kiss the back of it, like he was a king that you worshipped. You then moved back and sat on the balls of your feet, stretching your arms to the side and up before bringing them back down like it was one of the most important moves of your rehearsed choreography.

Then, you sat and faced the side, bringing your knees up to your chest, which obviously made the dress ride up even further. You could feel Jay’s eyes glued on you, and you rested the palms of your hands to your side, pushing them to your back as you slowly lay back down, keeping only your ass on the floor and your back arched.

Jay scoffed before he palmed his erection over his jeans, and you smiled as you sat back up and began crawling your way to him. You put both hands on his knees and he immediately grabbed them, pulling you up and onto his lap. You whimpered when you felt his clothed hard-on rub against your bare cunt, and he realized you were not wearing underwear only after he slid his hands on your thighs and under your dress.

“Fuck, baby,” Jay hissed. “You really came prepared.”

You hummed and he smiled, strengthening his grip on your thighs. You took one of his hands off and brought them up to your chest, tugging on your dress. He immediately pulled it down, revealing your tits and erect nipples.

“God,” he whispered. “Thank you for this meal.”

Jay latched his lips on your tit and you giggled, welcoming him in your embrace and resting your hand on the back of his head. He licked, sucked, and kissed your boobs so hungrily yet also so tenderly, and there was no way you could keep your eyes open throughout the whole process. His other hand pulled your dress down completely, making it bunch around your waist. His hips began thrusting upwards, and you winced as you felt the rough fabric cause friction between your folds.

“You know,” you began, breathless, “this would be better if we took it to the bedroom.

Jay did not stop kissing you. In fact, he moved his mouth upwards and started sucking your neck while his hands traveled down to your thighs, gripping them tightly before he stood up with a grunt. He bit down on your neck, and you stifled back a moan, and as he maneuvered the both of you to the bedroom, you had to be his eyes and his ears.

“Don’t drop me,” you warned. “Don’t bump me into a wall either.”

Jay smiled and moved to kiss your chin, and before you knew it he had thrown you on the bed, gently, if that was even possible. He wasted no time in undressing, pulling the top of his white shirt over his head and unbuttoning his jeans. When he started unzipping, though, he paused to look at you.

“Wait, babe,” he began, “you were done with your dance, right?”

You chuckled. “The goal was to get you to carry me to bed, so yes, mission accomplished.”

Jay smirked as he pulled his jeans down with his boxers. He then tugged on your dress around your waist, and you lifted up your hips so he could take it off completely.

“Did you just buy that dress for me to take off?” He asked.

You nodded innocently, and Jay let out a breathy chuckle before he hovered over you.

“Thank you for the little show, baby,” he said, caressing your face. “You’re so fucking sexy.” He kissed your lips. “I mean, fuck.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, and he smiled so wide that the corner of his eyes crinkled. “Practicing that was so embarrassing for me.”

Jay frowned. “You practiced?”

“In my mind,” you clarified. “It almost took a toll on me. Could you tell that I was nervous?”

Jay was kissing your neck as you spoke, and he laughed onto your skin. His finger then trailed down your waist and quickly reached your core, and he drew a line along your folds which instantly made your breath hitch.

“From this, I can tell you were just aroused as I was,” he whispered, sucking softly on your neck. “Am I right, baby?”

You whimpered before nodding slowly. “Yes,” you whispered back.

Jay then grabbed you by the waist and flipped you over, making you sit on his toned abs as he relaxed and placed his hands under his head.

“Ride me, baby,” he requested. “Give me an encore.”

You placed your hands on his shoulder and scooted downwards until you felt his shaft press against your core. Jay groaned and moved his hips up, and you had to palm his chest to keep him from moving.

“Go on,” he continued. His position was relaxed, seemingly determined to just watch you do your thing.

You began slowly rubbing your folds along his shaft, from the bottom up and then back again. With every stroke, you moaned softly, and your eyes were closed but Jay was observing your face closely. It drove him crazy how you practically looked intoxicated, and he was motivated to watch you keep going.

“That’s it, baby,” he commented. “Just grind on me like that.”

Your movements became faster, and your moans gradually became louder too.

“Keep going,” Jay whispered. “You look so beautiful, baby.”

You whined as you continued rubbing against him, and you were desperate for more.

“I don’t want to cum yet,” you muttered. “Not now.”

“Put it in, baby,” Jay said, bringing one hand to your thigh to stroke it. “We can take it slow.”

You lifted your hips and reached for his cock, aligning his tip to your entrance. You then sank slowly on him as your eyes rolled back, and you heard Jay letting out a shaky breath as he completely filled you up.

“Oh my God, Jay,” you whined. “You’re stretching me out so good. You’re so big.”

Normally you would leave the words of affirmation in the form of desperate whines and moans, but for tonight, you wanted him to hear exactly what you were thinking of, and from the way his Adam’s apple bobbed you knew it was something he liked.

“Tell me how it feels, baby,” he said, squeezing your hips.

“So good,” you whimpered, feeling him twitch inside of you. “You feel so… so good.”

Seeing how you, a woman who is usually good with words, repeat the same thing three times already boosted Jay’s ego. His hands moved to your ass, and he squeezed you there, earning another lewd moan from you.

“J-Jay…”

“Mmhm, baby,” Jay replied as he began thrusting. “Tell me more.”

Jay pushed himself up with his elbows and you rested your arms on his shoulder until he sat all the way up, staying inside of you. Your chest was now pressed against his, and he moved his face closer to yours, only close enough for your noses to brush against each other.

“I…” you began after licking your lips, “I want you to fill me up all night.”

Jay smiled before giving your lips a peck. “Do you think you can handle that, baby?”

His hands squeezed your ass harder, pushing them towards him and guiding the way you grinded your hips. Your breath gradually became heavier.

“I want to,” you continued. “I want you inside me. I want your lips on me. On my lips, on my neck, on my—”

You moaned when you felt him lick and suck on the skin beneath your jaw. Your grip on his shoulder tightened.

“On my pussy, too,” you finished your sentence with great effort.

“Hmm?” Jay hummed in response. “Do you want me to switch and put my lips down there now?”

“No!” You replied without missing a beat and sounding way too pathetic. “Not now, you’re still filling me up so good.”

Jay chuckled. Again with ‘so good’, as if those were the only words you could use to describe the feeling.

“Tell me what you want me to do right now.”

“Your hand on the back of my head,” you said. Jay did so. “Pull my hair and make me tilt my head so you can—”

You breathed shakily when you felt him suck on your skin, bruising your neck even further. You were sure you would be left with hickeys all over, but you didn’t care.

“What else, baby?” Jay mumbled against your skin.

“Stop asking me and just be rough,” you answered. “Please?”

Jay kissed you passionately and slid his tongue along your lips before pulling away. He held your ass up and slid out of you, only to hold you by your hips and turn you around. You immediately got on all fours and pushed your ass up, and when you felt his cock align with your cunt again you bunched up the sheets in your hands.

You moaned with every thrust Jay made, and his grip was strong on your hips. Your ass slapped against his pelvis, and the lewd sound echoed throughout the room along with your whimpers and his grunts. He heard you whisper ‘harder’, and he was more than happy to do so, hearing your moans go even louder.

You felt Jay’s hand move down from your hips to your thighs, and it took you a while to realize he was maneuvering you both to lie down on your sides. He pulled you towards him until your back was pressed against his chest, and with one hand he lifted up your leg before entering you again. The position allowed him to hit you on the right spot, and you screamed his name almost a little too loud. He continued to thrust into you, his skin slapping against yours, his grip firm against your thigh, and his teeth sinking into your skin like you were his prey.

“Jay…” you called, running out of breath.

Jay maintained the same pace but exerted more strength, pushing your leg even further up.

“Jay,” you called again, feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes from the mixture of pleasure and pain.

You heard him grunt against your ear and you felt his other hand squeezing your boob a little too hard.

“Jay,” you tried again. “You’re hurting me.”

His movements stopped in an instant. His grip on your thigh loosened and you slowly felt him sliding out of you.

“No,” you reached to grab his hand in yours. “Stay inside.”

“Baby,” he called, his voice hoarse.

You rested your leg and brought your hand to your nape. Jay immediately put his hand over yours as he slid out of you completely. You were about to protest, but you were met with his eyes full of worry.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he hovered over you. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

You licked your lips before bringing your hand up to caress his face. “Just give me a minute, okay?”

Jay nodded and you closed your eyes. You then felt him kissing your forehead ever so softly, making a soft smacking sound. He then kissed you down your nose, to your left cheek, and your right, before moving down to kiss your jawline. He kissed your neck next, lingering on the parts where your skin started to turn purple. You caressed the back of his head, almost encouraging him to continue. You felt his lips against yours and you pouted, reciprocating the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against your lips.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him despite the single tear trickling down your left eye.

“We can stop if you want—”

You shook your head quickly and palmed his cheek. He placed one hand over yours as he held himself up with his other arm.

“I want to finish with you,” you begged. “Please?”

You felt Jay’s breath hot against your face when he nodded. He brought himself down on his elbows and kissed your cheek once again before he entered you, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

“I promise I’ll be gentle,” he whispered before brushing your hair back.

You nodded. “Please keep kissing me.”

Jay kept his word and his lips latched onto yours as he resumed his strokes, going a lot slower and deeper compared to before. Your hands caressed his shoulders and moved down to his biceps, and you tried your best to reciprocate all his kisses while touching every part of his body that you could reach. Your hands rested on his back as his hips began to stutter, and when your walls clenched around him during your release, he groaned into your neck and came soon after.

Usually after a long session, Jay would collapse on top of you and relax as you brushed his hair, but for now, he was quick to move to your side, relieving you of his weight. His eyes concentrated on your face as he started to stroke your waist softly with his hands.

“Y/N?” He called. “Baby…”

You licked your lips before rolling to your side to face him.

“Forgive me, love,” he whispered. “I really wasn’t thinking—”

“It’s okay, Jay,” you chuckled weakly. “If anything, I feel sorry for killing the mood.”

“You did not kill the mood.”

“For being too weak then.”

Jay frowned and immediately propped himself up with one elbow. “You are not weak.”

“Fine,” you smiled, closing your eyes. “Maybe I’m just a little too old.”

You didn’t hear a response, so you opened your eyes, and you found Jay staring at you with teary eyes.

“Please don’t say that,” he muttered. “I feel horrible for hurting you. I swear I’m never going to be rough—”

“Now hold on,” you stopped him. You then chuckled lightly before tugging on his arm gently, making him lie down again. “I liked it. When you were being rough. Maybe we just need a safe word, that’s all. I think I called you three times to get you to pause.”

“Fuck,” Jay groaned. “I’m going to punish myself.”

“Look at me.”

The switch in your tone immediately made Jay comply, and only then you noticed how his face was covered in sweat, and maybe some tears mixed with it too.

“I don’t want this to change anything,” you said. “Promise me?”

Jay shook his head, and it made you frown.

“You need to understand that hurting you is the last thing I want to do. Actually, it’s not even on my list. So next time you want me to go rough, I’ll do so but very carefully.”

You snorted. “So, not rough then?”

“My beautiful, beautiful wife,” Jay whispered, scooting closer to you. “Please forgive me for now and we’ll use this as a learning point for future sessions.”

Jay pulled you into him and began leaving kisses all over your face, not the gentle feathery kind but the wet and aggressive type, making you chuckle and close your eyes as a precaution.

“Okay, okay,” you finally said, placing a palm over his chest. “By the way,” you continued after taking a quick peek at the clock, “Happy birthday, my love.”

Jay turned to find that it was three minutes past midnight and when he looked back at you, you were smiling at him and looking at him with full adoration.

“I can’t believe I ruined my own birthday present,” Jay said. “Your dance was so good and I had to go and ruin it.”

You grew tired of him feeling bad, so you exhaled and pushed yourself away from him, and he frantically tried to keep you in his embrace.

“Okay, okay! I’ll stop apologizing. Just stay in my arms.”

“I said happy birthday,” you mumbled against his chest.

Jay began running his fingers through your hair gently. “Thank you, baby. I’m lucky I get to spend it with you for the rest of my life.”

You couldn’t help but smile so wide. Jay then cleared his throat.

“You’re smiling, aren’t you?”

You smacked his arm, and he winced out of surprise. After a short session of soft slapping and tickling, he began caressing your thigh that was now thrown over his waist.

“Do you like your birthday trip so far?” You asked, resting your palm on his cheek and caressing him there with your thumb.

Jay nodded. “It’s been lovely.”

“Good. Then you need to outdo it later when it’s my birthday again,” you demanded, gently slapping his cheek repeatedly with your hand.

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am,” Jay said, saluting you.

You giggled and pinched his cheek. “Kiss me, you dork.”

“Yes, Boss,” Jay whispered before sealing your lips with a kiss.

As you felt his plush lips against your lips and his tongue dancing with yours, you were reminded once again about how much, and how deeply your husband loves you.

"Should we have some of that chocolate cake now?"

Jay's voice broke your train of thought, but even if he could break every part of your body, you would still love him just as much.

-END-

© forjongseong 2023, all rights reserved

read the next part: meet cute

[lenafromthenordiccoven]

This Is Only Temporary - Part 1 of 3

(moodboard made by me, Top Gun Maverick screencaps by hd-screencaps, the rest is unsplash.com)

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x afab!reader x Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Rating: M – MDNI 18+

Word count: 5591

Warnings: Bob and Hangman being menaces, and so is reader (oops), smut, protected PiV (reader is on birth control as well), oral (f!receiving), fingering, voyeurism, threesome (MFM – in part 3), beginnings of polyamory, Hangman being a flirty dick who wants what he thinks he can’t have; I’m neither US Navy nor American, so reader isn’t either – meaning there might be a little, uh, criticism here and there (also, we all know aviators are cocky af, right?), alcohol consumption, not beta-read but I did try to proofread a bit

Summary: After months of irregular phone and video calls, and constant e-mailing back and forth, you finally get to visit your boyfriend, Bob, in California. What you didn’t count on, was the fact that the guest room in his new house was temporarily occupied by one of his colleagues. The same cocky aviator, who can’t help but hit on you when you first meet – and even after he knows, you’re taken.

Read on ao3

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3

Taglist: @formulapierre (If you wanna be added to the taglist, just lemme know)

A/N: This got a little longer than expected – but I’m also VERY rusty with fanfic and smut in particular. Anyway, part one of a little thing I just couldn’t get out of my head. Oh, and do yourself a favor and listen to Please by Saro while reading the smutty half of this. Cause I listened to it while writing and it just fits so fucking well.

The moment you stepped over the threshold of the Hard Deck, you felt his eyes on you. The noise of the other patrons hit you, as soon as you entered the bar, but you didn’t mind the anonymity that came with it – this time, at least. It didn’t take you long to find him in the crowd, sitting at the back of the bar in a corner surrounded by what you assumed were his new squad mates. Bob was staring shamelessly at you, and even from across the room you could see the surprise on his face.

You smiled to yourself. Originally, the plan had been for you to arrive in California on Sunday. But you’d managed to book an earlier flight without telling Bob, wanting to surprise him – and, admittedly, get to spend a little more time with him. The surprise seemed to have worked, if you were to judge the way his eyebrows shot up as he watched you walk over to the bar.

Although you wanted nothing more than to run straight to him and throw your arms around him, you decided to draw out the greeting a bit. You weren’t sure how much Bob had told his coworkers and new friends about you. He’d hardly been able to tell you anything about the last detachment that had taken him back to Top Gun, and probably into more danger than he’d wanted to admit to you. Now, he was set on staying in California for the foreseeable future, had even bought a house.

You finally reached the bar and were greeted by an older woman and a warm smile. “Hi, what can I get ya?”

“Can I get a Whiskey and Ginger Ale?” you asked. The woman nodded and you thanked her, paid for your drink and then turned back to face the rest of the bar while you waited for your drink. Again, your eyes landed on Bob, who still hadn’t let you out of his sight, and you were reminded of the first time you had met.

Dicky, a friend of yours and pilot for the Royal Air Force, had invited you to join him at an air show in Austria – a rare occasion, since Dicky usually didn’t go to these. Just like now, you’d been standing at a bar and Bob had been staring at you from afar. That was until Dicky had introduced you two.

‘It’s not often I meet a US naval aviator at these things. What, is there another war brewing in Europe that you need to save us from?’ you’d joked and had relished in the way Bob’s face had turned an embarrassed shade of crimson, before you’d apologized for the joke.

‘Oh no, no. Please, don’t apologize for that. It’s just... Don’t usually get called out like that,’ he’d replied. And the rest was history. You’d asked him out that same night and you’d developed a long-distance relationship that you had never thought you’d agree to.

Somebody clearing their throat next to you pulled you from your memory. You turned your head and were met by a thousand-watt-smile in a handsome face. Green eyes were looking down at you. “Haven’t seen you here before, sweetheart. You’re not Navy are ya, I would have remembered a pretty face like yours.” The Texan drawl sent a shiver down your spine, while the blond man’s words made you roll your eyes.

“Let me guess,” you said and looked him up and down for a second, taking in the khaki uniform, the golden blond hair and the tan, “you’re an aviator. Pilot by that grin. And you’re lonely, otherwise you wouldn’t be standing here and flirting with me? But you’re right, I’m not Navy and I’m not from here, either.”

The grin faltered for a second, before he turned up the wattage. “I like a woman with sharp eyes. And a brain. I’m Hangman.” He extended a hand towards you, and you took it, despite yourself. While you had to admit, he wasn’t bad looking, you weren’t interested in flirting with another cocky pilot. You got enough overblown male egos to deal with at home.

Still, you decided to play nice. “Y/N,” you replied. Then you took your drink and pushed away from the bar. “Just gotta say, uh, Hangnail: I’ve got a boyfriend. So, while this was … admittedly weird, I’m not interested in flirting with you. And I’m going to go find my boyfriend now, thank you very much.”

The grin turned into a smaller smile, but it didn’t lessen the sparkle in Hangman’s eyes. If anything, you felt like you’d just given him a challenge and he’d jumped at it. Your pulse quickened at the thought. And you remembered a conversation you and Bob had had two years into your relationship. About your feeling like you might identify as polyamorous. Sweet, darling Bob had reacted the way you thought he would: a little shy at the idea of adding other people into the mix, but not fully turned off by it.

“It’s Hangman, sweetheart,” the blond pilot corrected you, but didn’t step closer to you. A point for him. His lips were still curled into a smile, and for a second you feared, you’d given away your earlier thoughts. But before he could say anything else, you cut him off.

“Whatever. I like Hangnail better; you can hang your big ego up on that callsign of yours.” You turned and finally made your way over to Bob, who’d watched the whole exchange quietly.

You weaved your way through the crowd and finally reached the corner with the pool table where Bob was sitting next to other aviators. Your heart skipped a beat when your eyes met his beautifully blue ones, as it did every time you looked at him. You ignored the confused looks from the other aviators, pushed past a darker-skinned man, who was bending over the pool table to take his shot and who you would soon learn was Coyote.

Bob slid off the stool where he’d been sitting and crossed the last few steps towards you. Without hesitation, you flung your arms around his neck while his hands came to rest on your waist, and you pressed a long, yearning kiss to his lips. You felt Bob sigh and practically melt into it. Your own tension and all the anxiety and worry of the last months drained away while your lips moved against his. It had been too long since you’d last seen him. Been able to touch him, kiss him, even just look at him without a screen in the way. Had your heart skipped a beat only seconds before, it now slowed, content and reassured that your Bobby was safe and sound.

“Hi,” you whispered against his lips when you both pulled away for air.

He smiled, before he breathed a “Hello to you too, darlin’” in return. One of his hands came up to caress your face, while you toyed with the strands of blond hair at the nape of his neck. “I missed you. So, so much.”

“Missed you too, Bobby,” you replied and wanted to add how worried you’d been. That for the last month before you’d gotten the call that he was safe and had returned from his mission, you’d felt like you could hardly breathe. That just holding him here like this in the crowded bar had lifted that weight off your chest. But before you could, Hangman interrupted. And with that the rest of the bar that had fallen away as your lips had met now came back into focus.

He pushed past you, deliberately stepping closer than he needed to. “Say, Bobby, why’d you never tell us about your girl here?” The sparkle in his eyes seemed to say, ‘Where have you been hiding her?’, but Hangman just opted to lean against the pool table instead.

Bob blinked at him. “Uh, well, it never came up. Right, I should introduce you to everyone. Darlin’, you’ve already met Jake – or Hangman.” He then pointed out everybody else in their little corner: Coyote leaning next to Hangman, Halo, Fritz and Yale sitting behind the pool table. Next to them were Rooster, Payback and Fanboy. “And Phoenix gotta be around here somewhere, too. Guys, this is Y/N.”

You said your hellos with an awkward wave and slightly wobbly smile. You’d wanted to meet Bob’s new squad mates, sure, but you hadn’t counted on that being tonight. Besides, the newly acquired knowledge that Hangman was part of Bob’s squad had you slightly mortified at what you’d said to him. Although given the way he was eyeing you, it didn’t look like he minded all that much.

“So, Y/N, how’d y’all meet?” Hangman asked, and only now did you notice the toothpick he was toying with in the corner of his mouth. God.

You quickly glanced at Bob, who was tugging you closer into his side, to check if he would mind you telling this story. He just nodded lightly at you, a wordless go-ahead. You turned back to the group, squeezing Bob’s side for a second. “We met at an airshow … six years ago. Well, almost. I was there with a friend, who flies for the RAF. Dicky introduced us and the rest is history, I guess.” You turned your head and smiled at Bob at the memories you two had made in the years prior. He blushed under your gaze, but didn’t break eye contact, mumbling a quiet “Yeah, and you asked me out” under his breath.

“Really? Would have thought, Baby on Board would have made the first move. With all the charm he’s got goin’ on,” Hangman replied. You scoffed at that but felt Bob’s fingers dig deeper into the flesh of your waist at the comment. And then you remembered something he’d told you weeks ago about a particular training day. How one of the pilots was getting under his skin and he was really trying not to let it get to him. But witnessing his reaction now, you knew, there was more to it than just Hangman making off-handed remarks about how you were out of Bob’s league. (Something Bob agreed with but would never admit in front of him.)

“Well, I didn’t really give him a chance to ask me out first. But at least I don’t hit on people that are already taken,” you shot back. Hangman blinked at you in surprise and a low groan went through the rest of the group. You guessed, the people he usually flirted with rarely put up a fight – and you would be right. But that didn’t stop your body from flushing with heat at the way he was staring you down now, a slight smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth, while he moved that damned tooth pick around with his tongue.

“Sorry, I didn’t know, you were with Bobby boy here, since he never talks about you.”

You knew what he was trying to do. Trying to throw another punch in Bob’s direction because he probably knew, he was getting under his skin. And to make himself look better. But it didn’t take. You just shook your head at him.

From that moment on began the onslaught of questions the rest of the Daggers lobbed at you. From what you did for work (photographer for the RAF) to where you were from and what you were most excited about seeing in California, apart from Bob, since it was your first time here (the sea, you admitted, even though you’d been to the coast in the UK and other countries in Europe before).

You’d lost track of time, but as you were sitting in Bob’s lap and telling the story of how you’d come to work for the RAF (a complete accident, actually), you were starting to feel the effects of the jetlag. Bob’s arms around you tightened for a second to get your attention before you felt his hot breath against your ear.

“If you wanna go home, just say the word, darlin’.”

Goosebumps erupted across your skin and a shiver ran down your spine. God, how you wished, he were using that low voice of his in another way right now. You turned slightly to face him. “Actually, yeah. That might be a good idea. Before I fall asleep right here.”

Bob smiled that lopsided smile of his that still made your heart beat faster every time you saw it. “You know, I don’t mind you fallin’ asleep in my lap.” He leaned in closer again to whisper in your ear. “But I was hopin’, we could get out of here to do something else…”

You felt the heat creep up your neck at the thought alone. Being alone with Bob after you hadn’t been able to touch each other for months? Who were you to say no to that? “Let’s go.” You slid off his lap and took his hand.

“Alright, guys, we’re gonna head out for tonight.” Bob threw an arm around your shoulders and began to steer you into the direction of the door.

“We still on for Dogfight Football tomorrow?” you heard Rooster ask. To which Bob replied with a “Sure thing. Need to get my girl some Beach time, after all.”

Your stomach still lurched when you heard Bob call you his. Even after almost six years together, the thought still made your body flush with heat. That you were his and he was yours. This sweet, shy-looking man, who hid a goof and a heart of gold as well as his undeniably masterful skills in bed behind those silver-rimmed glasses of his.

“I’ll see you two at home, Bobby,” Hangman said and gave you a nod and a light wink. You rolled your eyes at him. He really couldn’t help himself, could he?

His words didn’t even register until you were standing in the car park and Bob was asking about which car was yours. You pointed to the rental parked almost right in front of the door and were in the middle of handing him your keys when it hit you.

“What did Hangnail mean when he said, he’d see us at home?”

You watched Bob’s reaction closely, watched his pale face flush with red as he scratched the back of his head. “He’s, uh, staying in my guest room right now.” When he saw your eyebrows shoot up and your eyes widen, he lifted his hands in defense and added: “It’s only temporary. A pipe burst in his apartment and I offered to let him stay until he found another place or got it fixed. Whichever is faster.”

“Why?” It was a simple question, just one word. And honestly, it was the only word you could think of right now.

“Darlin’, he’s really not that bad if you get to know him a little better. Admittedly, I don’t like that he’s flirtin’ with you either. But that’s Jake for ya.” He snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you flush against him. “I swear, it’s only temporary and you won’t even notice he’s there. He usually stays over at the places of whomever he could pick up in a bar that night, so he’s hardly ever there.”

You sighed. It wasn’t your place to judge this arrangement anyway. Besides, it was sweet of Bob to offer his friend a place to stay. Even if you didn’t quite understand why, yet.

“Alright, can we go home now?” You put your arms around his neck and pulled him a little bit closer still.

“Of course,” Bobby breathed before leaving a quick peck against your lips. “I thought, you were tired?”

“I’m not that jetlagged, Lieutenant Floyd. Now, take me home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned as he pulled you to your rental car.

--

The moment you stepped through the front door, Bob’s hands were on you. Well, it wasn’t like they’d ever left you the whole car ride over from the Hard Deck. But now he didn’t have to concentrate on driving as his hands roamed your body, and he pressed your back against the door. Your backpack and suitcase forgotten in the entryway next to you.

“I thought, I was going to get a tour of your new home?” you teased. But any thoughts of Bob leading you around his house and showing you all the different rooms left your head as he wedged his thigh between yours, his knee brushing against your clothed core. You couldn’t help the whimper that left your mouth at the feeling. If you weren’t sure you’d already soaked through your panties and jeans, you would have now.

“Tomorrow, darlin’. It’s been too long since I touched you. Tasted you. Just gotta have you right now before I’ll burst. Please, may I?” His lips were brushing against your just ever so slightly while he spoke, and you just nodded before lurching forward to connect your lips with his. You both groaned into the kiss, all tongues and teeth and mingling breaths.

Bob pulled away first, his thumb stroking your cheek while the rest of his hand easily engulfed your neck. “Out loud, baby. You know I need to hear you say it.”

“You have me, Bobby, always.” Your eyes met his and you could swear, you could see his pupils dilate at your words. Then he was kissing you again and pulling away from the door. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs, and he easily pulled you into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist.

You shed your clothes somewhere along the way to his bedroom, until you were both left only in your underwear. Panting, standing in the middle of the room while Bob dove in to nibble at your neck. You were sure, he would leave marks, but you admittedly didn’t give a fuck. You could cover those up. He was pulling you flush against his skin again, you could feel his hard length pressing against your hip in his boxers, while he was leaving open-mouthed kisses on your skin as his lips travelled lower.

Your head was spinning, your heart felt like it was going to leap out of your chest and run away with you following closely behind while the flames of desire ate their way through your veins, igniting your skin and that pool of arousal in the pit of your stomach. But before Bob could fully go down onto his knees in front of you, you stopped him. “Wait, Bobby. Wait.”

His eyes were on you in an instant, full of concern. Had he done something wrong? Were you too tired after all? “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing, just … Slow down, baby. We got all the time in the world. No need to rush this, hm?"

His chest was heaving with every breath. You were sure, he felt the same fire in his veins as you did. He stopped for a moment, just staring at you. “You’re right.” Then Bob swallowed, nodding his head quickly, before his lips quirked up into a smirk only you ever got to see. “I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry.”

You cupped his cheek before you leaned in for another quick kiss. “I never doubt that, babe.” A giggle escaped you as he maneuvered you to his bed, gently pushed you down onto the mattress before moving to hover over you.

“We do have all the time in the world to hear you scream for me, darlin’.” His eyes flitted over your face, searching for any hint of doubt or discomfort. But he didn’t find any, would probably never find any. Not when you were finally getting a chance to hold him again.

He dove down, pressing his lips against yours. You moaned into his mouth when his tongue entangled with yours. One of his hands wandered down your side, over your thigh to your knee before moving back up. You squirmed against his body; his fingers so close to where you needed them. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and gently pulled them down your legs before flinging them into a corner of the room.

“Robby,” you sighed when he finally used his fingers to swipe through your folds.

“So wet for me already, darlin’. God.” He groaned, a low sound that you thought you could feel vibrate down to your bones. Bobby hung his head low, pressing a couple open-mouthed kisses to your neck and collarbone, sucking on the skin where your neck met your shoulders. “I’ve been thinkin’ about this every day since you told me you were comin’ to visit.”

“Please, Robby. Please, please, please,” you chanted as his thumb circled your clit. You wanted to tell him how much you needed him. How you needed him to meld to your bones, melt his body into yours and to never let you go. How you felt like your desire and love for him were going to burn you alive if he didn’t do something about it right the fuck now. But you couldn’t get the words out. Only a strangled moan managed to escape you as he pushed his middle finger in.

His other hand came up to caress your hairline, he lifted his head, pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Breathe, darlin’. Tell me what you need.” His voice low, raspy, his accent sliding down your spine, making you clench around his finger.

You breathed in through your nose before huffing in frustration. He was giving you what you needed, but it wasn’t enough. You needed him closer still. Needed to feel all of him. “Need you to … fuck my brains out until I stop thinking. Please. I think, I’m going to die if you keep this up.” You looked up into his eyes, putting all of your emotions into your gaze.

You heard his breath hitch in his throat, and he let a low moan slip out as you grabbed his ass and pulled his hips closer to where you needed them. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?” He pushed his body up and away from yours a bit, pulling his finger out of you in the process. The movement made you whine in protest and paw at his biceps, his shoulders, anything you could get a hold of to pull him back down onto you. “I know, you need me to. And I promise, I will. I’ll give you everything you want. Just let me taste you first. ‘Cause I think, I’m gonna burst if I don’t do this first. Been too long, sweetheart.”

You groaned as he slid down your body, settling in between your thighs. One of his large hands came up to grab your right thigh and pulled up your leg until it rested on his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to your skin. Then looked up at you and paused. There was a pleading look in his eyes, one you rarely got to see. “Please, baby. Need to feel you,” you whispered.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Bob whispered back. And then he dove in. His nose bumped against your clit; the frames of his glasses dug into your skin as his tongue began to lap at you like a starved man. His low groan sent vibrations through your core, you moaned at the feeling. One of your hands shifted to tangle into his curls, pushing his head closer while you pushed you pressed your hips further against him to get the least bit of friction.

“Fuck, Robby. Keep going,” you mumbled. When he moved his face to suck at your clit and instead pushed his middle and ring finger into you, you made a noise between a moan and a sigh. You shifted your hips to get his fingers to go deeper to that spot where you needed them. Bob hummed in response.

You could feel yourself barreling towards the edge, but you didn’t want to let go just yet. While you didn’t think, Bob would make you cum just once this night – usually, if you hadn’t seen each other for a while, you both liked to take your time with each other and, well, sometimes you’d spend the whole night in a tangled mess of limbs.

Hearing Bob’s low “Let go, darlin’. I’ve got you. Just relax and let go” though, told you that you were in for a long night. And it was also the last little nudge that you needed to fully let go. The emotions coursing through your body heightened your senses and your first orgasm of the night hit you like a freight train.

“Fuck ... me,” you gasped before you went to chanting Bob’s name like your prayer as he helped you ride out your high with his fingers. He pulled his mouth away from your clit, instead pressed feathery kisses to your inner thighs.

“I thought that’s what we were doin’, darlin’,” he replied with a chuckle. It took you a second to figure out what he was getting at, but then you joined into his laughter.

You lifted your head, chest heaving and heart pounding in your chest as your core still ached for more. You still needed him inside of you, needed to feel all of him. To come undone on his cock and have him follow suit shortly after. “Depends … how you define sex, baby. Some people don’t count oral as sex.”

“I’d say, those people are idiots,” Bob grumbled and pushed himself up until he was face to face with you again. You couldn’t help the whine that escaped your mouth at the sight of his slicked-up chin. Then he was licking his two fingers clean; and you thought, you might pass out at the sight. How the fuck was your sweet, gentle Robby this fucking hot – and admittedly deservedly smug about his skills in bed? Even if that side only came out in your presence. Bob’s lips pulled up into a grin and he winked at you. “I know, my greedy little princess.”

He bent down to kiss you; you moaned at the taste of yourself on his lips and tongue. “Well, can you blame me? I haven’t been able to fuck, let alone touch, you in months. All I could think about the last few days was you. Your fingers. Your mouth… your cock. The way your body moves against mine … I could barely hold it together at work.”

“Jesus, Y/N. You sure, you never want to try out writing poetry or prose?” He kissed you again, only a quick peck that had you lean up to chase his lips.

Already, you could feel the burning desire for him build again in your stomach. You reach down to palm him through his boxers, and smiled at the hiss that escaped him. The way his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his hips bucked against your hand. You reveled in the fact that you weren’t the only one being this affected, but that it was the same vice versa.

“Why? You like what I got to say?” Your other hand stroked over his cheek; he was leaning into your touch. But then you moved on, tangled your hand into his curls again – and tugged on them. He moaned, loudly, a sound that reverberated off the walls. And your smile only grew brighter. His hips bucked against your hand again, before he snatched your wrist away, pinning it to the bed above your head.

“You’re not fightin’ fair, darlin’.” He was practically purring now as you continued to play with his hair; sometimes tugging on the strands or scratching your nails over his scalp and down his neck.

You quirked an eyebrow at him. “I’m not fighting fair? Take your pants off, Lieutenant, and fuck me.”

Again, you thought, you could see his eyes darken. The usual bright blue now stormier as the same desire raged in his veins that was ready to wreck yours again. “Yes, ma’am.”

He shimmied out of his boxers, and you couldn’t help but stare as his thick cock sprang free. He was rock hard, and you wondered why he hadn’t let you do something about that. But that was your Bobby. Always making sure you came first, even when he was less gentle and gave in to his darker, more dominant side. He leaned over you again, giving a softer smile as he opened the bedside drawer and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube.

He made quick work of the wrapper, but before he could roll it down over his length, you put a hand on his arm. His eyes flicked up to yours in a silent question.

“Let me.”

He nodded, swallowed and handed you the condom. You took it and carefully rolled it down his shaft. You bit down on your lower lip when Bob hissed lightly at the contact, but he didn’t stop you. Instead, you could feel his gaze burn itself into your face. You squeezed a bit of lube onto your hand, gave him a couple quick pumps when you were done and grinned at the groan that rumbled through him.

Then his hands were on you again and he lifted you onto his lap, maneuvering one of the pillows around so he could lay you down onto it. He laced the fingers of one of his hands with yours and pressed it the mattress next to your head while he lined himself up with the other.

“Oh, fuck,” you groaned as he entered you, slowly, so he wouldn’t hurt you and you had time to adjust to the sheer size of him.

“Darlin’,” Bob whispered over and over against your lips before you lifted up your head and crashed your lips against his. Your legs wrapped around his hips and you sighed as you pulled him closer, deeper into you. Your free hand ran down his back, digging your nails into the skin of his lower back.

He began to move, slow and deliberate strokes. But it didn’t take long for the tension to build in your stomach again. Not with the continued praise and sweet nothings that fell from Bob’s lips, joined by you telling him what a good boy he was for you, how proud you were of him, how good he made you feel. When he let go of your hand and his thumb found its way to your clit again, you couldn’t hold back the second orgasm that washed over you. You were sure you screamed his name as you came – unable to give a fuck about what the neighbors might think. And yet, you could tell Bob was holding back. Which was strange, because he wasn’t usually one to have one go and be done for the night, Bob had more stamina than you’d ever thought possible with a man.

So, when your head had cleared and your breathing had calmed down again, you took your chance and – with your legs still wrapped around his hips – pushed to have him roll over on his back. You straddled his hips, slowly pushing yourself back down onto his cock until he was fully seated inside of you. You could feel him twitch at the anticipation of you riding him.

You pulled him up by his shoulders as you began to slowly grind your hips against his. “Why are you holding back, baby? You’ve been so good for me. Want to feel you cum for me. Please, Robby.”

“Fuck,” he huffed out and leaned his forehead against yours. While your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him as close as you possibly could, his fingers dug into your hips and thighs, trying to get you to move faster. “Want you to cum with me, darlin’. Please. Need to feel you squeeze my cock again.”

“Almost there, baby,” you replied and hid your face in the crook of his neck to suck at his pulse point. And it was true, while you kept grinding your hips against him and whimpered at the friction against your clit, you could feel your third orgasm build up.

“Fuck, that’s it, darlin’. Keep going. Don’t stop. Take what you need from me.” He moaned and his fingers dug even deeper into your hips. You were sure, he would leave bruises for you to see in the morning.

You screwed your eyes shut as another orgasm crashed down over you, still hiding your face against his neck to muffle your moans. Bob wasn’t far behind; you could feel him twitch inside of you as he drove his hips up into you. He bit down lightly on your shoulder as he came with a groan.

But what you didn’t know, was that you two had gotten an audience. Some time between your second orgasm and this one, Hangman had come home. And he had no qualms standing in the darkened hallway, watching you ride Bob as he wrung out every last drop of pleasure from you. You didn’t know that Hangman stood there, growing harder as he watched you. But Bob did. He locked eyes with the other man before squeezing them shut as he came. Bob might not have said anything in the moment. But you also didn’t know what this small act of voyeurism would lead to. Would have never expected it to lead to where it did.

[sleepanonymous]

At least one person was interested in this, so… I’m just gonna jump into it with the comparison/callback I mentioned in this post.

High Water from This Place Will Become Your Tomb When the mouth of infinity Buries its teeth in me I'll smile through the agony for you And I know you still bear the weight of your own existence And you'll never bear the weight of two

Take Me Back to Eden from Take Me Back to Eden I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it And no amount of love will keep it around If we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence

For me, this callback is quite heartbreaking. In the first song, High Water, Vessel talks about sticking by someone he loves no matter what.

“When the mouth of infinity buries its teeth in me” is a metaphor, meaning he’s caught or trapped in a situation/relationship he believes will last forever (and he possibly hopes that is the case).

“And I know you still bear the weight of your own existence, and you’ll never bear the weight of two” is less of a metaphor and more of a direct statement. Vessel knows his significant other has issues, and they do not have the mental stamina nor capacity to deal with Vessel’s problems on top of their own. This person has too much on their plate as it is, so Vessel will “smile through the agony” for them. He’s saying he is willing to be their crutch, their rock, despite his pain, because he loves and is loyal to them.

There’s more to this in other lyrics, such as “My hell is your high water” and the lines about holding his breath, choking on vapour, and drowning. He’s doing his best not to bring up his own issues and pain while trying to be this solid, sane, strong shoulder for this person to lean on.

Moving on to Take Me Back to Eden, we see this relationship’s progression (or rather regression). The apparent callback line is, “And I don’t know what’s got its teeth in me, but I’m about to bite back in anger.” No longer is Vessel smiling through the pain for this other person. He has given them so much of himself that he is drained, jaded, and angry. This significant other didn’t “choose” Vessel’s love, and it caused the downfall of their relationship without them ever realizing it until it was too late. Vessel is older now and realizes that he’s been willingly caught in this emotionally draining relationship. Even though he’s angry, those feelings are turned inward towards himself because he couldn’t hold himself, let alone this other person, together (“No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence”).

Oops, this turned into more of a song comparison than a lyric comparison, lol. There’s a bit more, but I don’t want to pull more lyrics. I’m lazy. But I do have a few other comparison idea. The original plan was to try to get one of these out a week, as I do with my lost media posts, but I wrote 85% of this on August 31st and then promptly forgot about it. So we’ll see how that goes.

If any of you have a lyric callback/comparison you want me to rant about, feel free to send a dm or ask 🖤 Also, this is all just me rambling, so it’s 100% valid if you disagree with this comparison. I’d love to hear your take on it if that’s the case (just be nice; I’m fragile).

[underratedandoverit]

You Wanna Wish Away Your Sins (3/3)

After losing to Best Friends at Arcade Anarchy, Kip undergoes shoulder surgery. One person reaching out to him afterwards sends Kip spiraling, turning all the pain and suffering in him into… Flowers? Flowers growing in his lungs?

Kip Sabian/Chuck Taylor. Hanahaki disease. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Emotional hurt/comfort. One-sided attraction. Also tagged this from now on with manipulative Kip.

Marked Mature on AO3 for general content. Warnings for mentions of hospitals, surgery, medical stuff. Described feelings for choking and vomiting.

Other characters on-screen include Penelope Ford, Orange Cassidy. Rest of Best Friends are mentioned. Background ship of Penelope/Kris is heavily implied, but never specifically shown.

part 1 || part 2

On AO3

Finishing this took way longer than I intended. Oops. Mental illness and whatever be damned yada yada. But it's over now. And I am content. It's a whole fic and ended just as I wanted and had planned, surprisingly no surprises during writing lol. I hope it makes sense, there's a little bit there that doesn't get explained, but I have convinced myself that people can put the pieces together considering the mental state Kip is in and how the hanahaki disease works so. Yeah.

If you have read this far, thank you so much, I really appreciate you and your patience if you have waited for this to finish since I originally posted in early September. I see all the kudos and subs attached, they mean the world to me. Would love to hear your thoughts of this now that it's over, as there was a lot of time (obviously lol) and love put into this, so it would mean a lot ;; But I appreciate you all so much either way, thank you for sticking by and reading!! 💜💜

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

----------------------

Kip tried to keep his eyes on the television, but he wasn’t registering anything he saw on the screen. Even if he was technically interested in watching the game that was being played, Kip would have much rather been looking at something else. Or someone else. That someone being the man sitting on the couch next to him, being much more into the activity of playing a video game that he was partaking in that Kip was.

While he was glad that Chuck was coming over far more often these days, at the same time it did grind Kip’s mind that they had fallen into this false routine of a casual friendship. Chuck would appear on his doorstep, bring a movie or a game with him for them to busy themselves with that day, maybe some snacks and energy drinks, and the rest of the day they would just hang out, consume the media of the day, and that would be it.

Same talking points every single day. Sitting in the silently designated spots on the couch just far enough from one another that even by accident their hands wouldn’t brush against each other unless they were passing the food and drinks around. Eye contact was brief, almost uncomfortably so if it managed to exist in the first place, and only when one got up from the couch and asked if the other needed something or something similarly surprising happened. Maybe a laugh could gather a quick glance, maybe a sneeze, a cough. And even then it was more often Chuck doing that to Kip, while Kip was trying to steal looks into his direction any chance he could, hoping Chuck would catch a hint.

It had been days, weeks even, maybe. How many, Kip had lost a count somewhere after the first few days, partially because of the pain he was going through, partially because he still found the whole situation so absurd. But the thing he knew for sure, was that it had been too many for comfort.

Every time Kip watched Chuck walk out the door of his house again at the end of the day, his breathing became a little bit tighter, the stabbing pain in his chest more prominent, the sleep during that following night a little shorter.

He was so tired of it all, and with every day that passed him by, it was pushing Kip closer to the realization that he finally had to do something about things. Before the pain was too paralyzing, before the thoughts became too much. Before he just couldn’t do anything about it anymore, before it was all too late.

“…Hey? Kip?”

The Brit blinked blankly a few times, finally registering the voice calling out to him after the words had been repeated a few times. His eyes slowly dragged away from the television screen, facing the brunet sitting on the couch next to him, Chuck looking at him with worry and concern. It was almost adorable to Kip how his brows furrowed and eyes darted around his facial features in clear worry. Almost.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Chuck sighed, Kip trying to offer him an apologetic smile as he watched Chuck running a hand through his hair, eyes turning away from the other man again as he shook his head a little. Kip had been too deep in his own head, with his own thoughts to notice Chuck had even tried to talk to him, the guilt almost immediately gnawing on him at the mere thought. He was supposed to try to pay attention to him, to try to make Chuck realize the situation, how close they were, to understand his feelings, to close the gap, to --

“I just wanted to know if you were hungry. We could order something in, maybe. If you’d like.”

For once Kip was thankful that Chuck wasn’t looking straight at him, his cheeks flushing red for a brief moment as he registered the words. Ordering food? Together? At his place, like this, out of the blue? For the first time?

It almost sounded like a date night proposal in Kip’s ears.

He quickly shook the thought from his head, turning away from Chuck to make sure he didn’t even by accident catch a glimpse of the blush decorating his face, desperately trying to not have the words caught in his throat, only partially succeeding.

“Ye-yeah that would be great.”

Chuck was so sincere about this question, just like he always was about everything, he was probably just hungry himself, and Kip was overthinking it all. Once again. But also, what if…

“Great. What would you like to eat?” Chuck’s words cut Kip’s thought process off again, his eyes slowly returning to the other man, watching Chuck pull his phone out of his pocket, eyes landing onto it, seemingly to avoid eye contact with Kip, who just shrugged a little. “I don’t know. Whatever sounds good.”

Chuck’s brows furrowed, suddenly looking back at Kip, making the Brit jump a little. This wasn’t the kind of reaction Kip had expected to his words, swallowing a little surprise lump in his throat as all of a sudden he was very unsure again where this was going. He hated nothing more than the unpredictable nature of their relationship, not being able to read Chuck at moments like this, mostly due to his own emotions and thoughts clouding his judgment and understanding of what the situation called for from him.

“…Okay, I’m going to be fully honest with you.”

The suddenly rather serious tone of Chuck’s voice made Kip’s eyes widen a little, he could feel his whole body tensing up at the sudden shift. Chuck offered him a small smile, most likely in hopes of trying to calm down Kip’s very obviously surprised demeanor, but seeing that smile just made Kip’s whole mind skip another beat instead.

“I’ve been worried about you recently. I actually talked with Penelope yesterday after I left, and she feels much the same way as I do.”

Chuck? Worried? About him? Chuck? Kip’s head was spinning, but he just nodded his head, not even acknowledging the fact that Chuck was also talking about Penelope being involved in this. All Kip cared about was that Chuck was thinking about him, outside of this room, outside of this couch, when he wasn’t around.

Chuck was thinking, and talking, about him.

“You’ve been… Seemingly getting worse each day I see you. You lack sleep, you lack food, you lack energy. I understand you are in a lot of pain with the shoulder and all, but you need to take care of yourself, Kip. Mine and Penelope’s help will only get you so far.”

Kip just looked at him quietly, trying to process the statement in his head, but all his thoughts retracted back to the overall realization that Chuck was worried about him. Thinking about him. That Chuck at least seemed to care more than he led on directly to him, at least before this very moment at hand.

“If there’s something wrong that you need help with, other than what we have been providing so far, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask, you know?”

Kip felt his head nodding itself, despite not approving of the movement in his mind. He was running on a practiced autopilot, still afraid that one casual movement might fuck all this up for him, not being the kind of response that Chuck wanted. This seemed to be enough for the brunet for now though as Chuck nodded back at him, eyes slowly returning to the phone in his hand. Right, he was ordering food. Right.

“So, again: what do you want to eat today? You can get anything you want, as long as it makes you eat. We just want to make sure you take care of yourself.”

At the same time it was endearing that Chuck was doing this for him, but Kip also knew he had to put a stop to this, all of it. While yes his current and constantly worsening condition was making him neglect his own basic needs, both which directly as a result affected his appetite and energy levels, Kip knew that trying to eat some proper food one day wasn’t the answer to his problems. Above all else, his condition was making it not only difficult to breathe, but the pain in his chest and particularly in his lungs made eating at this point a near impossible task.

As the silence from the Brit continued, Chuck glanced towards him, spotting Kip just looking back at him. Whether he was deep in thought or just staring, Chuck wasn’t quite sure.

“Kip?”

“I’m not hungry.”

At least it wasn’t a lie in a sense. Chuck raised a brow at him, slowly lowering the hand holding his phone onto his lap, eyes narrowing a little. Chuck’s eyes lingered on him just a little bit too long, forcing Kip to look away, back towards the television with the frozen game pause screen on it.

“You need to eat something.”

“Food can’t fix this.”

Kip could feel the confusion radiating from Chuck’s face, probably his entire being at this point, but he just couldn’t look back at him. It was so much easier for Kip to process his thoughts if he wasn’t looking at what he was sure was a very worried expression on the brunet sitting on the couch a few feet away from him.

He heard Chuck sigh. Not a very good sign.

“If you eat something, you get energy. You feel better. I shouldn’t need to explain all this to you. Kip, please --”

“This isn’t about food.”

Chuck fell silent as Kip cut him off, probably a bit more aggressively than necessary, but he was tired of this. All of this. Both his inability to do anything about the situation even though he desperately, so very desperately needed it, and the way they both seemed to just dance around the topic and the issues at hand. To Kip, Chuck offering to order him food was nothing but a detour that he couldn’t afford to wait to take to where he eventually needed to be. Kip had suffered long enough, mostly due to his own faults, yes, but Chuck jumping in to push his buttons like this, while a step in the right direction, wasn’t a fast enough track to where they needed to be.

Where Kip needed to be if he wanted to make it through all of this, it seemed like.

“…Are you mad at me?”

Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, but he still didn’t turn to look towards Chuck. All he heard was another quiet sigh.

“I don’t know how many times I can apologize for what happened. You know it was an accident. I’m sorry --”

“I don’t want you to apologize. I don’t care about that.”

If something, it was supposed to be Kip who apologized for everything, and he knew that painfully well.

“Then what is it?”

Kip swallowed thickly, being absolutely certain that Chuck could not only see it but also hear him do it. Kip’s eyes slowly dragged back to him, watching the confusion all over the brunet’s face. If the situation wasn’t so dire and heavy, Kip would have found the look on him endearing. Right now though, seeing Chuck not put the pieces together so easily, filled him with dread instead, along with the knowledge that Kip knew exactly what he needed to do next and the can of worms that he needed to open if he ever wanted to have a shot at things getting better again.

“I need…” Kip stopped, the confusion on Chuck’s face slowly melting into a more expecting look. Both of them were still clearly hesitant, Chuck not knowing what to expect out of him and Kip not being so sure how he was going to phrase this so it made even some sort of sense.

Just say it.

“I… I need you to kiss me.”

The silence that fell into the room felt like it was knocking all the remaining air out of Kip. The longer he looked at Chuck and the unreadable look lingering on his face after the words slipped out of Kip’s mouth, the worse he felt about everything. For once he was being honest about this entire situation and what he wanted out of it, and yet it felt like a worse mistake than anything he had lied to Chuck about so far.

He wanted this. He needed this. This was the trigger Kip had been so afraid to pull for so long now, but he knew that if he didn’t finally say those words, no matter the reaction, it would have terrible consequences for him. He was already suffering, the roots of his problem crawling deeper into his lungs every single day he put it off without even trying to make anything out of it. Kip was tired of it, he was suffering immensely because of it, he just needed to do something. Anything.

After what felt like forever of Chuck just staring at him, Kip was snapped out of his thoughts as Chuck took in a sharp breath, the only way Kip was able to describe his expression being polite confusion.

“You, uh… You what?”

Not sure if Chuck was just making sure or if he really hadn’t understood the statement, Kip bit his lower lip as he turned away from the other man. He inhaled slowly, preparing himself to say those words again. Kip did it once, he could do it again. It was a necessary step forward.

“I-I need. To kiss you. You to kiss me. So-something like that.”

As Chuck didn’t reply for a while, Kip stole a quick glance towards him, trying to gather an overview of the situation. Much to his surprise, Chuck looked like he was in deep thought for a second, as if he was pondering over the request. At least he wasn’t outright denying it from Kip, which in turn as he realized it, made his heart jump back into his throat.

The burning as Kip nervously waited for an answer was worse than the thorns poking inside of his lungs at the moment.

“Would that help? Make you feel better?”

Kip nodded almost instantly, the motion almost frantic, something he couldn’t control. Still clearly in his thoughts, Chuck nodded as well.

“I mean,” he muttered, a hand slowly reaching closer to Kip, the Brit’s focus turning on it with slightly widening eyes, “If… If it helps. I guess.”

Kip watched his hand stopping to hover close to him, slowly his own hand reaching for it. He could feel Chuck’s fingers gently wrapping around his hand, giving it a little tuck, an invitation to come closer. Kip followed suit, shifting over on the couch to slowly make his way to sit down right next to Chuck. For the first time since they had started doing this, for the first time since Chuck had started to spend the days over to keep him company. There had always been a cold, untouched gap between the two of them on the couch, but this was the first time it had been broken, filled, fixed.

And all it took was a small request that Kip should have been able to do in the first place, but it took him weeks and actual concern from Chuck to get to this point.

But there he was now, Chuck still gently holding his hand, running this thumb over his knuckles. A soft, still kind of unsure smile crossing his lips as he was looking Kip straight in the eyes. Chuck clearly wasn’t budging back on this, honestly much to Kip’s surprise, as his free hand slowly crept up to the Brit’s face, palm pressing against his cheek. Chuck’s hand was surprisingly cold against his flushed skin.

“…You sure?”

It was almost as if Chuck was asking that from himself more than Kip, but he pushed the thought aside, just nodding his head again. Without another word, Chuck leaned closer, finally closing the gap that had been antagonizing Kip these past few weeks without remorse, locking their lips together.

The kiss was awkward and hesitant at first, but slowly it felt more natural as they both seemed to relax into it. Soft and homey, but Kip could taste his own desperation in it despite all of it. He knew how badly he not only wanted, but needed this. While he could have joked that it was the matter of life and death, to him it was actually no joke, but merely the cruel reality he barely understood himself at all. Feeling Chuck’s lips finally against his, after the excruciatingly long amount of time of craving and needing nothing more than to taste him so desperately he was suffering from the withdrawals more and more every day, Kip’s mind went blank. He could feel Chuck close, hear his breathing, slowly allowing himself to enjoy it, running a thumb over Kip’s cheek.

Kip had been waiting for this moment for so long, craving for this so badly, that he needed more now that he finally had it, pushing the boundaries first as he found himself without a single coherent thought giving a small bite on Chuck’s lower lip, a silent, desperate request for a deeper kiss. A deeper meaning.

A request that was granted to him, but was also almost immediately and far too fast ripped away from him as Chuck suddenly jolted away, as if he had suddenly in the midst of all of this realized what he was doing and thought better of it.

Eyes opening as Kip felt the hand disappear from his face, he leaned slightly back, watching in emotions swimming in disappointment and confusion as Chuck’s eyes were suddenly on his phone again, the piece of tech buzzing on his lap, suddenly demanding his attention. Almost as if it was mocking Kip and how close he had finally gotten.

“So-sorry, I have to take this.”

Kip just nodded, feeling the body heat of the other man disappearing from around him as Chuck’s hand left his, grabbing a hold of the phone before he stood up, answering the sudden call. He could still salvage this, it wasn’t all lost. Chuck hadn’t denied him this, by the way he was acting it was obvious to Kip that this wasn’t just all in his head. Maybe the kiss had been brief, but there was compassion behind it, he was very gentle about it, there --

“What do you mean that was today?”

Kip’s eyes slowly traveled up to Chuck, watching the brunet run a hand over his face as he sighed. “Yeah I know, I know you need me there for that, just… I was kinda in the middle of something…”

The silence that followed that statement and the way Chuck couldn’t look back at Kip made a familiar lump climb its way back in his throat. Kip tried to cough it out quietly, not to attract attention to himself, just watching as Chuck stepped a little bit further away from him.

“I can be there in twenty minutes, I guess. ���Alright, I’ll see you then.”

As he hung up the call, Chuck didn’t even need to say anything. He was sure Kip had heard most of it, and the apologetic eyes and the small smile he offered to him as he finally turned back towards the Brit really didn’t help the case.

“Sorry, I completely forgot we had a photoshoot to do today, I… I gotta go.”

Kip nodded his head, but remained silent as he stood up from the couch. At least this was a start, they were going somewhere. He had put at least part of his desires out there, for Chuck to reach out and react to, if nothing else. This was a beginning, hopefully for the better. Kip wasn’t sure how fast he was supposed to be feeling the effects of his love and affections being returned to him, but so far he was blaming the sick feeling in his throat on the sudden change of pace in the room rather than Chuck not returning his feelings like before.

Maybe he had read all of this wrong. Maybe the sickness had caught up with him just because he didn’t know this was mutual. That had to be it, right?

Kip walked him to the door, Chuck turning back to him again as he rested his hand on the door handle.

“Look, I’m really sorry I have to go, I just completely forgot about this. You know, with having to worry about you and all.”

Kip could feel a smile tucking the corner of his lips, allowing at least a part of it to show. As sad as he was having to watch Chuck walk away yet again without a resolution to this whole problem, at least there was hope. Chuck smiled back at him, leaning closer to press a quick little peck on Kip’s lips, catching the Brit off guard, leaving him looking back at him with wide eyes as Chuck opened the door, stepping outside.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow, alright?”

Kip could only nod before Chuck closed the door, leaving him standing there, heart racing and beating loudly between his ears. Kip leaned against the closed door, inhaling deeply before he sighed, the content smile on his lips only wiped away as he coughed softly, eyes shooting open to witness the handful of purple tinted rose petals he let out of his mouth.

No.

Chuck Taylor still didn’t love him.

----------------------------------------

“…Are you sure it’s him?”

Cassidy shrugged his shoulders a little. “I mean, who else could it be? Besides, he has photos of himself that he signs and hands out and a big board on the table with the name ‘Kip Sabian’ on it, so…”

Chuck sighed, running a hand over his face before rolling his eyes. “You could have led with that information, you know.”

Cassidy didn’t reply back to him, just observed the brunet on the couch through his sunglasses. “I thought you would have known. Aren’t you two friends or something?”

Chuck avoided looking directly back at him, trying to make it seem like the question didn’t sting. He hadn’t seen Kip since that day, he never opened the door when Chuck came over the following day or answered any of his calls or texts since. He had been living in complete darkness over what had actually happened with Kip, even Penelope refused to tell him anything apart from a general ‘he’s fine’ every time Chuck asked her something.

“I told you, that was months ago.”

Cassidy just nodded, stopping to observe Chuck as the other man just tried to focus back on lacing his boots. After a long, lingering silence the blond broke it as he spoke up again.

“Do you want to go see him?”

Chuck stopped, eyes slowly dragging up to Cassidy again. He seemed sincere in that question, and if Chuck was being honest, that had been the first thought in his mind since Cassidy had waltzed into the locker room with the news that Kip had been sighted inside the building. The premise seemed rather odd to him, but at the same time, he wouldn’t have put something like that past Kip. A silent man with a suit and a cardboard box on his head, doing a signing that hadn’t been advertised for anyone beforehand. Sounded like it was just down Kip’s alley, in some really weird way, to him.

“Is he still there?”

“Probably,” Cassidy shrugged again. “He seemed to be just setting up when we went into the cafeteria like twenty minutes ago. I doubt he has left yet.”

While he wasn’t quite sure how to take any of it, let alone how Kip was going to take it if he showed up, Chuck nodded a little, still a bit hesitant. Cassidy mirrored the movement, before nodding his head towards the locker room door, asking Chuck to follow him. Not that he didn’t know where the cafeteria was in the building, they had walked past it when they had entered earlier, but maybe his hesitance was on the surface enough that Cassidy thought taking the lead was going to make him regret this less. Make it easier for him.

Chuck followed Cassidy outside, tracking through the hallways for a moment before they arrived at their destination. It was extremely easy to spot the individual not belonging into the group of people in the big, bright, well-lit room, the man standing in the middle of it all by a large table messed up with multiple scattered photos around it, hands behind his suited back as he was observing the room through the eye holes poked on a box over his head.

Chuck swallowed thickly. It didn’t matter if he didn’t see his face, all that was enough for him to recognize him immediately, no matter how many months it had been since or how much things had changed between now and then.

He was so focused on reading the words on the front of the box that Chuck didn’t notice the eyes inside of it land on him. The distance made it a bit harder, sure, but the lights were bright enough and the dark circles surrounding the eyes made them pop for Cassidy to notice the stare at first, even if it wasn’t directed at him.

“Hey,” he muttered, carefully elbowing Chuck to the side to get his attention. “He sees you. I think you should at least go say hello.”

Blinking himself back to the situation, Chuck glanced at Cassidy on his side, the blond just shrugging at him a little. Maybe Chuck’s nervousness was obvious, maybe Cassidy quickly put two and two together from what Chuck had told him before about how their last meeting had ended, but he only sighed, once again leading the way towards the man in a suit and the box, Kip’s eyes never leaving Chuck as they approached. Chuck on the other hand tried to look at everything except him, until he was stopped to stand right in front of the other man he hadn’t seen in months until now.

Through the eye holes of the box Chuck could see his vacant stare just blankly staring back at him, saying it all without saying anything at the same time. Kip looked at him briefly, before providing a photo from the inside pocket of his suit jacket, pulling a marker seemingly out of nowhere along with it. He scribbled something quickly on the photo, handing it to Cassidy, and walked away without looking back or acknowledging either of them further.

Cassidy looked at the photo for a moment before handing it over to Chuck. It was an old promo picture of Kip, in his Superbad gear, with his face crossed over with a red marker and some messy text scribbled next to him.

‘Time changes us all. Embrace the change.’

[volno]

Sphynx Khajiit update - Oops

"pfftt converting these skin textures from cbbe/sos to the vanilla body types shouldn't be that hard, right? I can bang that out in like a day to two, right?" I thought, like a fool.

Turns out that it is, in fact, a lot harder than I thought; especially after my original plan of simply baking the maps from the modded bodies onto the vanilla bodies in Blender proved not to be a viable method (it both took too long and produced baking artefacts that had to be manually cleaned up). So I've opted to doing it manually in Substance Painter, which gives better results, but takes a fair bit longer to do. But I have, at least I've learnt a bit more about the program as a result. Otherwise, I have made progress on patching the issues with the non-diffuse head textures reverting to the default textures when the player becomes a vampire (massive shout out to Papitas and their guide on NiOverrides, I legitimately can't find a better resource on it anywhere else) Progress on this hasn't been as swift as I like, and I am finding it once again difficult to work on (thanks ADHD), but this project is something I both really want to, and sort of need to, finish. As some of you know, the least year was uh, not great to put it mildly, mainly for me due to my irl situation, and I started this project when my mental health was really starting to deteriorate. But now that I'm in a better spot and my health is improving, I feel like finishing this mod will bring me some closure for that chapter of my life. So I'm gonna take it as it comes, maybe even finish some other projects first, but so help me god, this thing is getting finished eventually.

Got a little serious and emotional there at the end, huh? What can I say, the raw chicken cats bring that out in me for some reason.

[starrcrossrose]

Omg, Idk if my previous ask got through, it just said „hello“ so if it did, ignore that please, if not…please ignore this too?? XD anywayy, as more and more pieces of the Villain Leo Au/Story are being released, I was wondering, might you share a bit about your writing process? I noticed that the Aftermath is built very differently from other fanfics since you change perspectives constantly, but you also „rewind“ a bit every time you do that. And I was wondering, when you have an idea for a story, do you immediately write prompts or do you plan out the story before you write anything and how do you do with the Aftermath and Villain Leo? Thank you in advance <3

Hello hello! I didn't get your other message so this works hehe.

As far as a writing process... it definitely differs from fic to fic and story to story. Usually I imagine a scene and that's my springboard, and that can be at any point in the story. I've even had something as simple as a song painting a vivid picture in my head and have built entire stories off of that before -- like my Project Kitsune story.

In fact, I have a LOT of stuff planned for the V!AU already but everything I've actually written is too far in the future of the plot for me to share just yet. (oops LOL)

The Aftermath was originally only supposed to be 4 chapters *wheeze*, so that one... I was already handling differently. But then it continued to form and grow into the monster (/aff) that it is now. But I still wanted to stick with the theme of diving into each character and how they were handling everything post-invasion. That means I wanted to see how they felt during the time they thought that Leo was gone, as well as how they were feeling AFTER. Also, switching POV's per chapter was pretty normal for me as a kid! It's been nice to write that way again as an adult.

Ironically, the V!Leo AU isn't much different. I watched a video that sent my brain into a "what if" spiral and it just continued to grow from there! It also pulled in some of my good friends and they have been a HUGE help and lots of fun to plan the story out with. I had some ideas but having others to brainstorm with has been extremely fun and useful. Also, one simple question changed a lot of the trajectory of certain relationships and now there are characters in this AU I never expected to put here. But it made it so much more interesting.

If there's one thing I love to do, it's to write character studies. I love world building and such in my original works too, but my favorite thing to do is write characters. If you have strong characters that make you feel a lot of things, sometimes even a weaker plot can still work.

Uhhh this is probably a longer response than you intended to get LOL. But, my writing process tends to be centered a lot around "what if's" in fanfic, and in original works, it's a lot of "what's fresh but also familiar". I also used to not make notes and now I HAVE to or I write myself into a corner. Having a spot for notes and ideas is important bc even if they change, at least you don't get lost as easily. Especially with something like the V!AU which uh... takes place over several long years.

[vaultlinkvt]

Uh, well it seems the MayoPan finale isn't gonna be the only thing I talk about when I get off hiatus tomorrow huh...

...OH YA! I havn't said anything about it here on Tumblr have I?

A little under a week ago I decided I wanted to get back to streaming again because I miss it so much. I originally went on this currently hiatus back in February because playing ISaT and seeing the uncomfortably long list of things I saw of myself in Siffrin made me realize that I absolutely needed to get off my ass and get a therapist after procrastinating for 2 years.

So I got one. Been going for almost half a year now and we've been slowly working threw stuff. I'm so lucky to have found one that's NB so I don't have to sit there and explain being NB LET ALONE being Trans to someone I'm supposed to be incredibly open with when that's not the focus of the session. I just know that would have been taxing.

Aaaaaanny way. I had been mostly pushing off streaming again because I also wanted to get remedicated for ADHD, hoping I'd be able to work on a bunch of stream related stuff. I wanted to come back with a proper Debut! Show off my lowpoly that I've been working so hard on, have a fully freshened up layout, redeems, everything! But it's been taking much longer than expected.

I was only able to finally be prescribed stimulants back at the beginning of last month, and have been waiting the past 6 weeks for my Adderall to be stocked because of this shortage that's been going for almost 2 years. But I have it now and have actually opened my blender project for the first time since March. I'ma try pacing myself so I don't burn out again, oops.... HELL, I should be finishing my 3 temp emotes! I still have none and don't have the money saved up to commission someone, SHIT!!!

...

Related to the opening statement tho.

I wasn't really planning on talk about VTubing/Streaming stuff at all until I locked in, finished my lowpoly, and got everything else set up for a proper debut, saving all the talk of my plans as a VTuber and streamer for that but the finale of VTuber Legend has been making me think about things again and I can't sit on absolutely everything for so long.

See y'all tomorrow with Voices of the Void!