#this genuinely really resonated with me
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me: look i'm clearly neurodivergent in some way but everyone's a little anxious or depressed and it's not, like, debilitating and i've never been formally diagnosed so there's no need to look in to anything specific-
all of the tags on every single one of my personal posts:

me: huh. well this could mean anything
#this isn't me trying to claim anything it's simply a trend i've noticed!#on every one of my goddamn posts!#glad to see stuff resonating with people tho it's genuinely really nice
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ok. question.
ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?
#pulp speaks#Am i thinking of my “ortega sees sidestep posthb” fic again? perhaps#shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it#but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are#but theyre all some variation of “i didnt know you /cared/”#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea#i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are “whats done is done and im back now” with a small#“ill try not to leave again” mixed in#meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it#itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i#-his face‚ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitch‚ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face#but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it#ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core#anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy 👍#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ortega#sidestep#fhr
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"don't you just want to have fun" is so true about 911 fans...so many people just hate so many characters and so many things about the show...why are you watching!!
yeah 😭 at a certain point it’s just like, idk man. everything in real life sucks so monumentally why can’t we just watch tv together and have fun
#i really try to curate my online space so that i don’t have so see people being miserable and mean about shit that doesn’t matter#because it genuinely just saps all of my fun away but it’s really fucking difficult to avoid sometimes!!#OBVIOUSLY some shit deserves criticism. but it’s the inconsequential stuff sparking days weeks months long arguments and lashings#at some point it is going to be the thing that makes me delete my account lol#but for now i make ample use of filters and unfollowing when people get too tied up in the misery posting#anyways. sorry that post resonated w you#iinryer mailbox
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a collection of speed doodles from @crebbyhermit's fic on ao3 [here].............
"tsubaki notices it right away when they step into valla - lady sakura has a new retainer."
it is a beautiful 5k+ words character study of my retainer swap au subaki. i may have unironically shed a tear or two, if you like deranged freak subaki (affectionate) please consider giving it a read!!!!! im serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#fire emblem#my art#fire emblem fates#fe if#niles fe#subaki fe#niles/subaki#nilesubaki#retainer swap au#its late so i suppose im getting a little emotional but this au was really important to me when i first made it#still is important to me#but my point is that seeing people put thought and effort into my little au that i thought no one would care about but me#really means a lot. these characters mean a lot to me. i really appreciate everyone who engages with my au#hermit really captures the characters perfectly and explores them with such care and detail. this fic resonated a lot with me#THANK YOU HERMIT!!!!!!!!#EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU HERMIT!!!!#5K WORDS IS CRAZY THAT WAS SUCH A TREAT TO READ#GENUINELY THIS FIC WILL LIVE IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS 5EVA
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Hot take but I think that queer people can disagree on what is meaningful, well done representation in media and we can have discussion about it without trying to invalidate someone queernes because their opinions don't line up with your own.
Like I see the "Only cis straight people like that" , or "This is only hated on by cis het men" or the one that came like absolute stab to the gut in one trans guy's review of VG "If this is personally relatable to you, you might want to get yourself checked because you are probably not actually trans".
I think it's really valuable, good even that we have such variety of opinions on if the game had good rep or not- it's definitely better than when whole community almost unanimously agrees this shit was bad. Like we can work with this, we can learn from this.
But you cannot pull shit like I mentioned above and then get mad when people don't want to engage with you in good faith argument. No matter your stance or if I agree with you when you try to use an opinion on a videogame as a way to invalidate other people indentity, it poisons the whole discussion from me. And if you do not want an honest conversation about this don't turn around and pretend like there is any other reason for why people treat you like an asshole, when you are in fact acting like an asshole.
#fandom critical#Da fandom critical#I see this on both sides and at this point it genuinely pisses me off#Like can't you literally not think for a second to explain why something didn't resonate with you then#“Other queer people who say this was meaningful to them are probably not queer enough actually”#Like won't lie usually it just kinda annoys me but this one guys review REALLY grinded my gears
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i think about your fics often. your words have had a positive impact on me and i would like you to know that
this is so sweet omg i fear i did start to cry immediately. thank you so much 💛💛💛💛💛 this means a lot!!!
#fic love#anon#asks#xoxoxoxox#answered#genuinely appreciate this#thank you for this#all i ever want is to write something that resonates with people and leaves an impact#where people really *feel* something#and i think this is a big fear and struggle for me#this desire to earn love and respect#that contradicts everything i say about divorcing your feelings of self-worth from what you produce#because you should never have to EARN that#anyway#i share this so people who may also struggle with this don't feel alone#just know that i am here for you#cheering everyone on as they write and pour their hearts out on the page#something that takes a lot of courage and hard work#sending this after my last ask was really kind of you
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do you have any fav trans egg yuri (I know this isn't really part of ur duties but saw you talking about yuri stories & couldn't resist, we're always on the lookout for more)
no need to worry! i'm always happy to answer questions unrelated to my duties, ESPECIALLY when it comes to things like yuri!
so like i mentioned in the tags of my previous yuri recommendations post, i haven't read a TON of yuri. but that being said! i do actually have an answer to this one!!
me and Madame Curator recently finished reading the light novel series I'm in Love with the Villainess. and while the main yuri couple of Rae and Claire are both cis, there is a SECONDARY yuri couple that actually features a trans character! i know this isn't quite what you were looking for probably, but i do highly recommend the series in general!
SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 2 OF THE LIGHT NOVELS BELOW THE BREAK
so, basically! in volume 2, it's revealed that Prince Yu Bauer isn't a prince at all. in fact, she's actually a princess! Rae's best friend, Misha Jur has had a crush on Yu for a while, so when she finds this out, she tells Rae that she doesn't care what gender Yu is and that she'll love her just the same. Misha, Rae, and Claire work with Yu to allow her to not only come out, but also transition successfully!
additionally, volume 4 features another trans character who also is able to successfully transition! i won't go too in depth with that one, since she's not part of a yuri plot line, but it's worth noting!
#i was granted the opportunity to talk about im in love with the villainess#so i had to take it#this story is just genuinely so good omg#i highly recommend the light novels#the anime is really good too!! i really want a second season but alas#but yu's story just resonated with me so personally and deeply#i love her so much omg#im in love with the villainess#i'm in love with the villainess#watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou#wataoshi#rae taylor#claire francois#yu bauer#misha jur#transgender#yuri#girls love#ask#hellsite detective#not a post case#the detective responds
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a podcast just dropped reviewing The Day the Earth Blew up!! spoiler warning for plot details of course. posting to get more eyes on it and also because some things stood out to me that i just wanted to archive, UGHHHH i need to see this movie! spoilers under the cut
he describes it as a "Porky Pig movie" which I AM SO HAPPY FOR. i've been saying for awhile now that i so so so so so hope this movie puts Porky back in the public conscious
"you know, whenever doing a Looney Tunes project, Bugs Bunny's the main character, and i realize, actually, Porky Pig is much more perfect for that."
"that's why it's a Porky Pig movie, it's mainly his character development"
evidently Daffy is responsible for Porky's stutter by dropping a bowling ball on his head:
"[as babies] Porky is reading a book, and he's reading with this very eloquent diction, and then Daffy by accident pushes a bowling ball on his head and Porky starts to stutter, and Daffy is like 'ooo' and just moves away"
praises for its usage of Powerhouse, used in tandem with a "psychedelic sequence"
"i really love that part of the story is how Porky learns to appreciate Daffy for being daffy"
compares Daffy to his persona in A Pest in the House, sort of talking about how he causes problems but doesn't have any sort of ill will, he's just out of his gourd and doesn't know he's causing issues
no other LT characters except Daffy, Porky, and Petunia, as well as about "2 other cameos" [one of them being Beans]
there's a bit in the trailer where Porky and Daffy strike The Pose, and it is indeed confirmed that this starts up a mini-LT short of sorts where they try various odd jobs to get the money to fix their house. was speculating that this is the case AND I AM SO HAPPY IT IS.
WHOLE THING IS WORTH LISTENING TO, there's more but these are some of the things that caught my eye the most. i need this movie
#OK. some thoughts. spoilers so tread with caution#ltc#tdtebu#but the comparisons to A Pest in the House and Porky learning to just let Daffy be daffy (capital D?) are very hard hitting for me#i figured the story would be like that BUT. APitH was my first Daffy short as an adult yadda yadda i’ve said this before#and why i resonated so strongly with him and that short was because he was being so obnoxious and i could relate so much to it#genuinely a true to life cartoon. interpret that as you will#but it hit me so hard because i was like ‘if i can get this much pleasure and amazement and humor and this lust for I Need To See More and#he’s acting this way? then maybe…. it’s okay for me to be me… and people will like me just for that… idiosyncrasies and all’#Daffy very much helped me sort of really embrace myself and just like. be OKAY with myself. warts and all#and that’s why i relate to him so much as well because i can relate to some of the less desirable traits as well! and so it’s just an all#encompassing I Feel This I Feel You#and so i like that he mentions APitH and this little story beat because both apply to me intriguingly personally
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Ok more articulate thoughts on heartcatch's midpoint in the tags
#vi rambling#heartcatch lb#i really liked how itsuki's arc was handled... her dynamic with satsuki is genuinely so sweet and well written it might be the highlight#of the show for me so far. i might be biased due to this dynamic specifically resonating w me due to personal reasons but.#its really good and sweet. how she actually finds herself and her will to protect.#i still think her cure design is the weakest of the 4 but what stands behind it + her transformation being as cute as it is make it#really powerful. she's so cute....#i was surprised the heart tree encounter with dark precure was so shortlived i kind of expected it to go longer? also those capes were a#bit goofy. but itsuki holding tsubomi's hand was so fucking cute. in my beautiful mindscape tsubomi is still crushing idc#watched up to 25 where they do a little summer camp AND SO DO THE ANTAGONISTS LMAO? very random.#but i really love the core dynamic between tsubomi erika and itsuki its truly the selling point. ily erika shes so fun!!!!#genuinely a much more fleshed out and compelling character than i was expecting#but mostly eagerly awaiting more yuri content.... literally lmao
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Go off queen
It's your blog and you should be able to talk about whatever you want after all
aww thank you 🥺 i appreciate it <33
i do really not like spreading negativity esp when it's on a topic i have strong feelings about, and let's say the D.A fandom especially tends to be. extreme about the way it reacts to people disagreeing with them.
And look. I'm not immune to it because sometimes i get caught up by the genuinely rancid vibe in the fandom as well, and i think those games are designed for us to have strong feelings to start with.
but it also means i don't want to go too deep into controversial thoughts because i genuinely don't want to get to a point where i'll see someone screenshot my posts to dunk on it and say i'm the reason media literacy is dead and why the fandom is so toxic (citing things i've actually seen on said blog, for instance though not directed at me but at takes i've seen taken out of context. except i knew the context so knew this was a bad faith argument.).
Like can't even dislike shits in peace in here.
#sorry this is probably my most solas moment but i try to be kind and stuff#and when i discuss things level headed with people i do think i'm pretty humble#i don't think i have the ultimate readings and i am likely super wrong about things all the time#because analysis remains also an emotional approach and it can't be helped#and i need to hold on to this humility to not get caught on in my own head#analysis is also pretty much shapped by experience and i do not have the final reading on things#and sometimes things can be decent in one way but fumble another#and what will be important to not fumble will be different from one person to the next#depending to the themes that resonated with you to start with#but when i see people dunk on feelings i have while taking them out of context and also being rude about it#and then saying 'media literacy is dead'#i feel myself turning into a pride demon on the spot#sorry i only have two literature analysis diplomas i graduated from in two languages with praises for my analytic skills#and with a teacher genuinely begging me to continue advanced literature analysis classes because my approach was rare and precious#so clearly i don't know what i'm talking about at all and i'm the idiot here#like holy shit. lol.#this fandom is still the one i dislike the most and alas the fact i dislike the 4th game doesn't help#bc i really was hopeful and optimistic about it! i didnt want to dislike it!!!!#but i at least don't want to be taken for an idiot for it#but coughs. anyway. so that's one of the reason i'm not petty on main#the real reason is i don't want to impose that on my followers. I don't like being negative needlessly.#the second reason is that if i'm met with hostility where someone act like i'm dumb i will do things i will regret.#It's just that no one saw this side of me there most time because you've all been nice to me here#again. this is my solas moment. one of the reasons my therapist goes 😬 when i talk about him#ichareply#anonymous#ichasalty
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i need to be a cute boy and wear cute clothing i need to have strangers talk to me and say "btw i love your outfit!" i neeeeeeed to feel pretty and enjoy my presentation in fun ways. or ill DIE
#ive been having bad feelings about my appareance lately and like really i just want to feel pretty#not like in a ''i need to adhere to beauty standarts'' way#but just. ''i want to be able to genuinely enjoy how i look for once. i want to feel like im living and expressing myself''#instead of just passively existing in a corner with a t shirt in silence#i want to be complimented not so much in a ''i need others approval of me'' way#but more ''i need to interact and connect with people. i just want them to recognize my presence. i just want to resonate with somebody''#sigh.#🧃.txt
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Everytime I tell people who know me pretty well I LOVED Pearl from Steven Universe as a child it’s so humiliating bc they’re always like oh of COURSE you did . I bet you loved her thing with rose quartz didn’t you and I have to admit Rosepearl was an integral part me building an understanding of queerness and they’re like that makes SO much sense. I cannot keep doing this
#fern.txt#its interesting looking back bc I feel SU being good at not making u feel ur being talked down to or talked over w how it goes#into emotions when ur watching it as a kid + the ambiguity of intimacy/love with rose and pearl just rlly clicked for me#bc i had known of gay relationships before but I have always been so obviously aromantic so if u explained them to me only in#the lens of romsntic relationships I just didn’t get it esp in how it could relate to my own identity#but idk I remember I watched rose’s scabbard over some classmates shoulder and was genuinely just so fascinated#with how pearl had all these deep feelings for another woman but it wasn’t just for the show to say they were exes n pearl wanted to get#back together with her or they used to be dating etc it was just her mourning her overall love and relationship w rose#and w my aromanticism I’ve always been able to understand love I just feel I hit a wall n disconnect when it’s romsntic love in the confines#of a conventional romsntic relationship%. so with this I was like wow I really resonate w this feeling of just rlly loving another woman and#I am able to kind of understand how those feelings fe n experiences exist outside of just Wanting To Date Someone#its rlly interesting bc I think it just continues to be a facet to my own queerness to this day#when it comes to relationships specifically I still lean towards n love ambiguity in fiction + my own work#bc I think that lets me resonate between when I jsut have this complete blind spot of being able to relate to anything with romsntic#relationships bc I’m on the aro spectrum OFL
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so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man
#'it' being... *gestures vaguely*#i stumbled across this series of yt shorts yesterday (all by the same creator) that really fuckin resonated with me#and i mean that in the most serious way like. it spoke to me. never have i related to someone talking about their experiences more.#talking about their life growing up undiagnosed autistic & adhd... being in treatment for anxiety & depression for decades...#i can't really explain it but good god it's most exactly my same experience and i just. i have never felt that before.#it was so... idk. it sounds so dramatic bc it's literally a comedy short but holy shit#they verbalized things that I haven't been able to and#fuck. I felt seen and I felt like I wasn't alone in this miserable weird non-functioning barely even a human place I'm in rn#and just. idk. I'm still kinda processing some of it.#once again I am thinking back over my life and realizing things and it's. heavy. and tiring.#but like. in an ultimately positive way bc it's gonna help me change things & get to a better place.#I'm rambling IGNORE ME writing it out helps me process ig and for whatever reason posting on my dumb writing blog is easier than journaling#just. once again thank u all sfm for ur patience with me. it means SO much to me. genuinely.#you have no idea how much and I can't put it into words but. slow as I am... writing here with all of you is one of the few reasons#that I'm still kicking. and I'm just. so very grateful to every last one of you.#ok I'm gonna shut up before I get even more sappy and emotional lmfajdkgksg#love you guys. hope you're taking care of yourselves. 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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I got back into Maplestory a few days ago only to discover they removed the Monad questline so fucking heartbroken that was my favorite one AND I NEVER EVEN FINISHED IT! HELL WORLD!
#I couldnt figure out the reason why it was removed but I will never get over it for the rest of ever </3#Monad was genuinely also one of the nicer wuality storylines too it really resonated with me#on too of also getting a lot of exp lol#txt post#squid rants#maplestory
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So any of y'all got love song recommendations? Because ok I uh. I need to start taking my emotions actually seriously and hilariously my chosen method for practicing that is to listen to love songs and allow myself to actually feel things and relate instead of being like. Hmm that's a lil dramatic sweetie. And my difficulty is that all of the very few love songs I actually like and listen to are of the 'been married for 20 years' variety and not the 'falling in love rn' variety.
#this is really honestly actually very funny to me.#but my predisposition is to point and laugh internally anytime i feel a genuine feeling about anything except God really#and it feels uncomfortable and transgressively self intldulgent to actually relate to a love song#so imma practice that#disclaimer that i dont rlly like taylor swift#(dont resonate with her perspectives on the world mostly. find her arrangeement and production choices deadly dull 95% of the time)#however i am aggressively open minded about style and genre most of the time so ill give anything a try :)
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Hi I just want to say I occasionally scroll through your blog to see the Wolf 359 art you reblog and your takes and one that has always stuck with me is the Hera is the most trans woman ever and yeah you’re so right 13/10 good job. You hit the nail on the head. Just wanted to drop by and say that. One trans woman to another about a very trans character. Lmao. Have a nice day!
aw, that makes me happy, thank you! 💙 she's so important to me. like, the fact that hera cares about her gender, and that the way she navigates the world is highly gendered, both in how she's recognized as a woman and how she isn't. the type of isolation and alienation she experiences, particularly in her physical disconnect and the whole concept of (dis)embodiment, resonates with me in a very personal way... there's something in her arc about... getting out of her own head, taking steps to externalize a cultivated internal self-image, to see that recognized in the perception others have of her + how her part of am i alone now? reads in a metaphorical context of, like... how she wants to communicate these things that are so innate to her perception and experience to people without the same framework to understand them. that ultimately the 'right' words kind of matter less than openness and care. you know. hera is a trans woman.
#recognizing some of these things in her was genuinely pivotal to my understanding of myself. it means a lot to me#i love talking to people who resonate with those same things#thank you again!! i haven't been posting much lately but i really want to i'm just. sicker than usual and fatigued. i hope it'll pass#asks
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